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legends-of-time · 11 months ago

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Amelia’s Story (BBC Merlin Story)

Chapter 51: The Secret Sharer

Masterlist

Amelia's POV

It's a busy day today and Amelia and Merlin take it upon themselves to charge into Arthur's rooms. The King is, of course, still asleep in bed.

Merlin opens Arthur's curtains, letting the light in. "Up you get!" He calls.

"What for?" Arthur groans, waking.

"A bath."

"Where's breakfast?"

"Say, 'Ah.'"

"Ah?" Merlin stuffs a roll in Arthur's mouth. "Merlin!" Comes the muffled cry before Arthur pulls the roll out of his mouth, spitting the crumbs out of his mouth.

Amelia saunters over to Arthur's desk with some documents. "Right, you need to set aside some practice time."

"Ah, wonderful. What for? Quarterstaff? Battle axe?" Arthur asks as he rolls over, lifting his upper body and resting it on his elbows.

"For your speech."

"Who to?"

"The Guild of Harness Polishers." Amelia gives him a look that indicates that she thinks he's an idiot for not knowing.

"The guild of who? I don't know anything about polishing." Arthur wines.

Amelia waves him off. "Doesn't matter because fortunately Merlin does."

Merlin holds up a really long scroll with a grin.

Arthur looks on in horror. "That'll take hours to learn."

Amelia points her pen at Arthur, grinning, unperturbed by his grumpiness. "You don't have hours." She turns back to the list in front of her. "First, you have to receive Odin's envoy."

"Do I have to give a speech?"

"No. You have to listen to one." Amelia says with horror as well as barely hidden amusement.

Arthur rolls his eyes, but Amelia ignores him. "Then you need to inspect the Guards, perform a freeman's ceremony, oh... and to be a judge."

"Preside over a trial?"

Merlin leans over Amelia's shoulder. "Ooh! A garland competition!" He exclaims teasingly.

Arthur glares at the grinning duo. "You're enjoying this!"

Amelia rolls her eyes. "Getting your lazy backside up? Yes, it's the highlight of my day."

Arthur rolls his eyes again and flops his head back on his pillow. "I never get any time to myself!" Arthur curls back into his covers.

Merlin rolls his eyes. "I know, it's almost like having to work."

Arthur doesn't move.

Amelia purses her lips. "Right, you asked for it." She turns to Merlin, gesturing to their oh-so-gracious King. "Merlin, get him up."

Merlin goes over to the bed and grabs Arthur, trying to drag him out of bed. Arthur struggles to stay under the covers. Amelia casually watches, arms crossed.

"No, come on. No, out of bed." Merlin says.

Arthur makes an odd squeal as Merlin forces him out of bed along with all his covers. Always the same.

"You're doing very well, Arthur." Merlin remarks to Arthur who's splayed out on the floor.

"I don't think so." Arthur grumbles.

Merlin fetches Arthur's shirt. "Everyone's saying it."

"I'm glad your friends at the Tavern approve." Arthur retorts.

Amelia rolls her eyes as she helps Merlin stand Arthur up. "Stop being silly. Despite your many faults, you're actually becoming a very good King."

"Thank you, dear cousin." Arthur says sarcastically. "And Merlin, you're still the worst servant I've ever known."

Merlin nods, grinning as he hands Arthur his shirt. There's a knock at the door.

"Enter." Arthur calls.

Agravaine enters. "Good morning, My Lord. May I have a word?"

"Of course."

Agravaine glances at Amelia and Merlin. "Er, the matter I wish to discuss is a delicate one, Sire. Perhaps it'd be better if we talked alone."

Merlin leaves but Amelia stays.

Agravaine looks annoyed at this. Good. "Could Lady Amelia possibly—"

Amelia narrows her eyes at him. "Why?" She asks sharply.

"It's an important matter involving the Kingdom."

"And then I should be included."

"You can go, Amelia." Arthur interrupts as he walks to his screen. Amelia glares at Agravaine's smug face and reluctantly leaves.

——

Amelia angrily storms into the Council Chambers where Arthur and Agravaine are. Once again, the three A's are reunited and Amelia couldn't be more displeased.

"What's this I hear about you interrogating Gaius?" She demands to know.

"There's a traitor in our midst. We need to find out who." The slimy snake calmly replies.

"Thank you Agravaine," Amelia says through clenched teeth, "but I was talking to my King." She turns to Arthur. "What are doing Arthur? This is Gaius. He's as loyal to you as they come."

"He might be consorting with Sorcerers again. He knew the one we went to for my father." Arthur tells her.

Amelia flinches as the memories of that night come back to her, but she quickly swallows them down. "And because he couldn't help you've decided to turn on Gaius?"

"He was reluctant to answer on what his views are on the outlawing of sorcery and clearly lied about consorting with Sorcerers. He may have fallen back into the dark arts." Agravaine replies this time.

"Do you have actual proof?"

"No, but I'm sure we'll find some."

Amelia glares at him before turning back to Arthur. "Gaius is your friend, our friend. If you mistreat him, you lose me, Merlin and Anne." She then turns and storms out of the room.

——

The warning bells sound and jolt Amelia awake that night. She finds herself standing in Gaius' Chambers along with Arthur, Merlin, Anne and Agravaine as Guards toss Gaius' possessions, breaking many of them, as usual.

"My Lord, he was seen riding away from the City." Agravaine says.

"That can't be true." Merlin argues. Anne grips his arm in distress.

Leon enters. "Sire." He says to Agravaine. "You were right. A white stallion has been taken from the royal stables."

"Well, where would he be going? Why leave at this time of night?" Arthur questions.

"Well, I could hazard a guess, Sire, but I think a thorough search of his belongings may well provide us with the truth." Agravaine replies.

Amelia glares at Agravaine, realising this is what he'd planned all along.

——

In the light of day, Amelia stands in the Council Chambers along with Merlin, Arthur and the slimy snake.

Arthur flips through the book titled Witchcraft, Sorcery & Magic that Agravaine had 'found', surrounded by multiple others, as he sits at the head of the table.

"And this was found in Gaius' Chambers?" Arthur asks.

"I am as disappointed as you, Sire." Agravaine says. "Someone so close, so trusted. And it's not merely the discovery that he was a Sorcerer, is it? It's... it's the lies. The lies and years of betrayal." Lying swine.

Amelia watches Arthur, increasingly angered by Agravaine's lies. Arthur drops the spell book on the table, upset.

"I know it's hard to believe, isn't it, Sire? But we both saw him refuse to condemn magic. We both knew he was hiding something. And neither of us want to believe it, but... now, with this... hasty departure in the middle of the night? These are not the actions of an innocent man, Sire. There can be no doubt. Gaius is the traitor."

Amelia can't take it anymore. "How could you say that?!" She cries.

"Amelia..." Arthur tries to interrupt.

Amelia ignores him. "This is Gaius we're going on about, how could you accuse him of betraying us?!"

"You cannot hide the evidence." Agravaine calmly replies, which angers Amelia further.

"The accuser usually has something to hide!"

"Amelia! That's enough." Arthur shouts causing Amelia to finally look at him. "Agravaine, leave us."

Agravaine bows. "As you wish, Sire." Amelia watches as he exits and sees Merlin doing the same but with a glare as he leaves.

Amelia turns to Arthur, placing her hands on the table, leaning towards him. "Arthur. He's given his life to this Kingdom. He would never betray you."

"He's been consorting with Sorcerers. He more or less admitted to it. Why run if you have nothing to hide?" Arthur questions.

Amelia opens her mouth to reply but Merlin interrupts her by blurting, "They're lies! Gaius would never run off in the night."

"Look, I know it's hard. But no break ins were reported. His possessions are missing. A horse has been stolen." Arthur argues.

"He would not leave without saying goodbye to me." Merlin looks away and stares in the opposite direction. Amelia's heart breaks at the sight of him.

Amelia turns back to Arthur. "Agravaine has made this story up."

"I shall ignore that last comment." Arthur says, shaking his head.

Amelia leans towards him again. "I know he's your uncle, but he's mine too and I can see through the lies. You can too."

"Amelia!" Arthur snaps. "I've had my heart broken enough already today. I don't want to lose anyone else." Arthur stands up briskly. "Gaius," Arthur holds up the magic book, "condemned himself." Arthur slaps the book on the table on his way out. "There's no more to be said."

——

Percival, Anne and Amelia are waiting in the latter's Chambers for Merlin. They're waiting for Merlin to search Agravaine's Chambers while he talks with the Guards and Knights about 'finding' Gaius.

The door opens and Merlin comes in looking rather cross. "He planted it!" He speaks. "I found books about sorcery in his Chambers."

"I knew it." Anne mutters angrily.

"I also found this." He hands them a small handkerchief, a red sort of soil rubbed on it. "I'm not sure how much use it'll be but this was coated on the bottom of his boots. It smelled odd to me, so I rubbed some off just before Agravaine entered."

"Percival." Amelia turns to him. "Ever seen dirt like this?" She hands it to him.

He sniffs it and pokes at the dirt, "No, but I bet I know who does. Gwaine."

——

They find Gwaine sitting on a bench in Gaius' Chambers when they enter.

"There you are! We've been looking for you." Amelia exclaims as soon as she sees him.

Gwaine flashes her a roughish grin. "I was here. Got bored of playing soldiers."

"We need your help." Anne cuts straight to the point as they all gather around the tables.

"With what?"

"What do you think?" Merlin asks snippily.

"Looking for Gaius."

"Do you know what this is?" Percival holds up the handkerchief.

"Might do." Gwaine reaches out his hand. "Let me see."

Percival holds it out and Gwaine takes it and smells it.

"That's iron ore. Where'd you find this?"

"That doesn't matter." Amelia dismisses. "Does it help us?"

"Iron ore's pretty rare in Camelot. In fact, I've only seen it once, on a patrol." Gwaine says.

"Where?"

"Er...ridge of Kemeray. They've been hewing iron from rocks there for hundreds of years."

——

Merlin, Amelia and Gwaine ride out of Camelot that night, towards the ridge. Anne doesn't come for obvious reasons and Percival holds back to keep an eye on things and any more than the trio will draw attention.

They enter the right mining shaft. Amelia looks down and sees the same iron ore on her boots. They walk through the Cave, searching for Gaius when a large man suddenly jumps out at them. Gwaine fights him but is knocked down. Merlin steps in and, with a flash of his eyes, the man flies forward and lands on Gwaine's sword. Amelia helps Gwaine to his feet.

Amelia, Gwaine and Merlin continue and come to a fork in their search.

"We should split up." Amelia says. "Covering more ground means finding Gaius quicker."

"Yeah." Gwaine murmurs in agreement.

Amelia and Merlin turn to go one way and Gwaine the other.

Merlin pauses. "Gwaine. If you find him, don't wait for us."

Gwaine looks unsurely at Amelia, who smiles reassuringly, before nodding.

——

Amelia sees the firelight ahead and pulls Merlin down, so they hide under a ridge just as a bald man in robes comes around the corner. He stops but doesn't look down to see Amelia and Merlin. When he leaves, they go where the man has just come from.

Amelia and Merlin come across another fork. Merlin indicates he'll go that way and Amelia nods, continuing the other way. It's only when Amelia hears Merlin cry out and feels something pull at her magic that she runs back the way she came.

She enters to find Merlin lying on his back on the ground. Amelia's breath catches in her throat when she sees it's Morgana standing before Merlin. Morgana pulls a dagger.

Amelia panics and just as Morgana throws the dagger towards Merlin, she leaps forward and throws herself in between them. Amelia stops the dagger by throwing out her hand. It stops just before her palm. Amelia uses her magic to throw it back to Morgana but stops it right before her sister's face and holds it there. She flickers her eyes over her shoulder to see Merlin standing, holding himself against some rock that lies in the middle of the room then turns her attention to her sister.

"Please don't, Morgana." Amelia pleads. "I don't want to fight you." She feels herself shaking. She hasn't spoken or been face-to-face with her sister in over a year.

Morgana's face is one of shock before she quickly recovers. "Sister, I should've known you were here. A traitor is never far away." She smirks, ignoring the dagger hovering in front of her face.

Amelia narrows her eyes at her. "I'm not the traitor Morgana." She rebuts. "That was all you."

Morgana glares. "You betrayed us! You turned away from your family!" She spits.

"You and Morgause were attacking my family." Amelia counters. "I couldn't help you in your hateful crusade."

"You protected Uther and Arthur! You turned against your people!" Morgana cries.

Amelia tries not to flinch at the mention of Uther. She grits her teeth and steals her resolve. "I never turned my back to my people, Morgana. That was you. You're the traitor to all magic users. Not I."

Morgana glares. "Get out of the way, Amelia. I'm not fighting you. Despite your treachery, you're my sister."

Amelia feels herself soften at the statement before shaking it off. She shakes her head, continuing to hold the dagger at her sister despite everything in her telling her not to harm the woman. "No, I'm not letting you harm Merlin. We want to know what you've done to Gaius."

Morgana shrugs. "Well, Gaius had some information I needed. The whereabouts of the Sorcerers Emrys and Tarian. If he gave it to me willingly, his suffering would not be prolonged, but... if he did not..." Morgana smirks.

"If you have harmed him..." Merlin threatens from behind Amelia, drawing Morgana's attention back to him. Amelia narrows her eyes and slightly nudges the dagger closer to warn Morgana.

It is then that the bald man from earlier enters. Amelia continues to hold the dagger at Morgana but watches him cautiously.

"Alator this is my sister Amelia and Merlin, the most troublesome serving boy I've ever known." Morgana introduces.

Amelia watches as Alator seems surprised and looks more closely at Merlin.

"I take it your time with Gaius was fruitful?"

Alator looks at Morgana. "Gaius told me everything."

Amelia's stomach drops at that. Oh, no.

"So, you know who Emrys and Tarian are?"

"Indeed, I do." Alator walks forward, and Morgana looks like she wants to follow him, desperate for his answer, but she can't move as Amelia continues pointing the dagger directly at her face, nudging it closer.

Alator stops and looks Merlin in the eye. Merlin glares at him. "Not only do I know who Emrys and Tarian are, I know exactly where they are."

Morgana's eyes are wide with eagerness. "Then tell me."

Amelia holds her breath, ready to attack when Alator speaks the truth.

Alator looks at her. "Never." Alator aims his staff at her. "Forþ fleoge!"

Amelia watches in shock as Morgana screams as she's thrown backwards against a rock and collapses unconscious. Amelia immediately drops the dagger, turning to Merlin and Alator. The former backs away cautiously.

"Merlin, Amelia, I am Alator of the Catha. I am honoured to be of service." He declares.

"You have magic!" Merlin states.

Alator nods. "I understand the burden you carry. I have lived with it all my life. I have been shunned, persecuted, and sometimes even hunted in every corner of the Five Kingdoms. I understand what that feels like. You're not alone. From what Gaius told me, I do not have your great powers, Merlin, but I share your hopes. For I, and others like me, have dreamt of the world you seek to build. And we would gladly give our lives to help you do it."

Alator kneels to Merlin. Amelia and Merlin share a look of amazement.

——

"So, Morgana never found out about Merlin and Anne?" Percival asks after Amelia had finished explaining to him the whole story. Both of them lie on top of the blankets on Amelia's bed. Amelia is cradled in Percival's arms as he lies on his back.

"No, she didn't count on Alator's true loyalties." Amelia replies.

Percival lets out a hum. It's quiet then for a few moments as they simply bask in each other's company.

Percival then breaks the silence. "I know this is a bad time, but I knew I might back out of it if I wait any longer."

Amelia frowns in confusion, pulling herself up, leaning on her elbow so she can see Percival's face. "For what?" The Knight doesn't reply, simply chews his lip anxiously. Such lovely lips as well. Amelia shakes those thoughts away to focus on the conversation. "Percival, you're scaring me."

"Marry me." He whispers.

Amelia's stomach drops all the way into the pit of the Earth. "What?!" She exclaims before lowering her voice. "As in, marry marry? 'Be your wife' married?"

Percival nods. He tucks a stray strand of her long brown hair behind her ear. "Amelia, you're the strongest person I know and now knowing of your magic, you're even stronger in my eyes. Your loyalty and strength make you the most beautiful person I've ever met, and I love you more than anyone I know." He sits up, grabbing both of her hands and giving them a tight squeeze. "I believe we're meant to be." He cringes. "And that was horribly romantic but it's what I feel."

Amelia's heart beats wildly against her chest. She loves Percival, and she is sure of that, but being married to him? Like, actual marriage?

She sighs. "I can't believe we're doing this."

His face breaks out into a cute, nervous smile as he says, "So... you're saying... yes?"

Amelia laughs as she wraps her arms around his neck. The force of it causes Percival to tumble backwards and Amelia to land on top of him. "Of course, I'm saying yes!"

With that, Percival gives her a deep kiss and when they pull away, they share the biggest hug they have ever had.

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

#bbc merlin #merlin

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rapha-reads · 2 years ago

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do you have any merthur fic recommendations that have happy endings?

Do I ever ! Strap on, I've got quite the list.

Tagged Angst With A Happy Ending :

Take A Letter, Merlin by Caledonia/@iamcaledonia (7870 words, Modern Era)

Arthur is an emotionally repressed workaholic who is unhappily married. Merlin is his loyal and competent personal assistant. One Monday, Merlin comes to work to find that, over the weekend, Arthur has dictated a letter for Merlin that is about to change both of their lives. A song fic inspired by the 1969 classic, 'Take A Letter, Maria' by R. B. Greaves.

Kiss Today Goodbye, by Cithara/@citharaposts (5337 words, Canon Era, Divergence from s02e13)

When Arthur regains consciousness in time to hear Merlin confront the dragon, his world is turned on its head by the revelations that follow.

Turning the Page, by @schweetheart and @queerofthedagger (19050 words, Canon Divergence, Epistolary)

Without intending to, Arthur pushes Merlin just one step too far. Now he's left without his manservant but a hundred questions, a world of hurt, and guilt that clings to him like a shadow. Well, and a notebook filled with drawings because apparently, Merlin can draw on top of being a sorcerer. No matter how often Arthur tells himself that he just wants to forget, he can't help but come back to the collection of sketches and notes, a chronicle of all that Merlin has done.

Maybe their story isn't quite over yet.

The Knights of the Table, by DrJackAndMissJo/@drjackandmissjo (9198 words, Modern Era, Food Critic and Chef AU)

'Can you even believe this guy?" Gwaine asked, offended and almost breathless as he popped himself on Percival’s counter. There was no need for any of the other men to ask who he was talking about. Everyone knew about the devilish creature that wrote the restaurant and food reviews on Camelot Weekly. “What makes you even think it’s a guy?” asked Lance as he took the newspaper from the Irish man, “I’m pretty sure that it is a demon sent straight from hell to torture all of us!”

Tagged Happy Ending :

Hope On A Tuesday Afternoon, by arsenicandsunshine (8985 words, Modern Era, Housemates, Idiots in Love, Getting Together)

Arthur likes his life. Why wouldn't he? Nice flat, all to himself, stable job. Friends. Yep, he's set all right. Or, he is until he ends up with an unexpected flatmate. Merlin certainly does have a knack for turning Arthur's life upside down.

a long, long day, by @oncefutureemrys (1237 words, Canon Era, Secret Relationship, baths and massages)

Merlin was beyond tired of it all. He just wanted one moment where… it could be just him. Just him and Arthur, just the two of them, without the rest of the world interfering. But alas, Merlin was no normal person and neither was Arthur, and the chances of them having a regular day were almost as likely as Uther deciding to stop hating magic. So, he walked into Arthur’s room, ready for more late night chores, a slight slump in his posture. To anyone else, it would seem as if he was perfectly fine, usual Merlin just slightly tired from a long day’s work. But Merlin knew it was a bit more than that. And so did Arthur, apparently, because when he stumbled in, he found the idiot sitting casually behind his desk, an air of amusement and playfulness surrounding him, a teasing grin forming on his stupid, stupid (handsome) face. Or: Merlin's had a long day, so Arthur takes care of him.

Suffering in Silence, by TheCourtSorcerer/@tcs-main (3205 words, Canon Divergence, Sir Leon-The-Long-Suffering, POV Leon)

He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to say something. He couldn’t keep silent anymore. Day in, day out… The constant borderline scandalous looks, the barely concealed innuendos, the incredibly unsubtle touches, all of it! He was going to lose his mind. How could two people be so blind?! So, that’s what led him to the tavern that night, across from Gwaine, a hint of regret tugging at his mind that he steadfastly ignored. “Okay… How do we get them together?”

Secrets & Lies, by LiGi/@little-ligi (13333 words, Canon Era, Divergence, Arthur Finds Out, Protective Arthur, Friends to Lovers)

Arthur had finally put his finger on it. The thing that had made Merlin stand out, the thing that had intrigued him about the boy ever since the first time he’d met him. The thing that was going to get him killed… Merlin had magic. Not only had it, but used it freely all the bloody time. It was only a matter of time before someone saw him do it, and then they’d report him to the king and Merlin would be dragged out into the courtyard and executed. Well, not if Arthur had anything to do about it. Mid series one, Arthur, for once not being totally oblivious, discovers that Merlin has magic. The problem is, having magic gets people killed and Arthur very much prefers Merlin alive. It turns out making sure nobody sees Merlin do magic is rather a full-time job however...

A Universe Which Freely Gives, by @psychotic-fangirl369 (26455 words, Post Canon, Reincarnation, Arthur Returns, Getting Together)

Arthur returns… but because of a series of unlikely events (and perhaps a bit of morose dragging of feet because he can't bring himself to believe the signals), Merlin misses the boat. By the time he makes it to the lake, signs of Arthur abound but Arthur is nowhere to be found. Magical tracking being less reliable than one might think, when Merlin finally does manage to find him Arthur is bizarrely well-adjusted, living in a flatshare in London with roommates who think he's batty but mostly harmless, and working an improbable job. Enter: Merlin, who Arthur absolutely is not expecting to still be alive.

So Where Are My Flowers?, by @tehfanglyfish (1365 words, Canon Era, Pining, Flowers, Magic Reveal)

A question asked as a joke leads to years of fresh flowers waiting for Arthur each morning until the one day he almost screws things up.

Balancing the Scale, by sunsetmoonrise (20528 words, 5+1, Canon Era Divergence, Slow Burn, Pining)

Five times Merlin didn't realise Arthur was protecting him, and the one time he did.

Alright, that's quite a lot already! These are the latest in my bookmarks, don't hesitate to ask me again if you want more!

#replies #2012throwback #merlin #merthur #merthur fics #merthur fic #merthur fic rec #fic rec #happy endings #happy fics #angst with a happy ending #rapha talks #rapha reads

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 2 years ago

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A Perfect Home...

... and how it all comes crashing down. But also, how it’s built back up again, stronger than ever.

Part 2(coming soon)

TW: Blood, gore, but only a little :)

When Merlin first disappears, The King doesn’t want to accept that he might’ve left willingly. The missing belongings, the neat, empty bedroom, the note left saying simply “Goodbye, don’t look for me, I’m done here.” are all treated suspiciously. Despite the fact that everything was taken except the gifts the servant had received from Arthur, despite the fact that Merlin is the only person in the whole castle who can make a made-up bed look so messy and so neat all at once, and despite the fact that Arthur has been reading Merlin’s handwritten speeches for years, and knows his handwriting almost better than he knows his own. They are all... suspect.

For weeks, months, The King has patrols out searching, scouring the land for any sign or whisper of him. The Queen supports him for the first five months, his First Knight and other most trusted, for three, but even they give up eventually, deciding, though they’d eagerly followed Arthur’s decision at first, that the empty bedroom and note had been genuine, and that Merlin wouldn’t be found.

Gwen knows, after almost a decade of friendship, that Merlin is not seen unless he wants to be seen, not found unless he wants to be found, and not summoned unless he wants to be summoned. Besides all that, Gaius’ lack of heartbreak and the sad smile they’d gotten from Hunith when Arthur had eventually caved and traipsed to Ealdor, had both been clue enough for her, though she’d ignored them at first.

She carries on like any Queen would, her head held high, her will strong, and her tears kept behind closed doors. She wonders, of course, almost every day, what could possibly have driven Merlin away, but all her wondering brings her is heartbreak; when had Merlin, her best friend, last called her Gwen, instead of My Lady? When had they last eaten lunch together? When had they last teamed up against Arthur when he was being a twat? When had they last escaped to the market together? To the forest? To Ealdor? To her parents’ graves? She can’t quite recall, and she finds herself thinking that perhaps there wasn’t anything specific that had happened. Perhaps Merlin wasn’t driven away, or scared away, or snatched away. Perhaps he was, as the... as his note had said, done.

Her and Arthur suffer alongside each other, and they drift somewhere between it tearing them apart and bringing them closer together. They love each other just as fiercely, cling to each other just as tightly at night, and still look to the other first when scared or in danger. But they talk less, smile less, meet eyes less frequently. The others notice, of course, no one sooner than Sir Leon, but he can never quite figure out if it’s because they both feel guilty and can’t face the other’s judgement, or because they blame each other in part, no matter how much they don’t want to.

Sir Leon soldiers on, like he does through everything. His parents’ neglect turned him into an outstanding squire. The Dragon, the invasion, the tear in the veil, the next invasion, they had all turned him into a good knight, and later on, a good leader. But Merlin’s disappearance? That turns him into a better friend. After all, without Merlin there to look after everyone, who would pull Percival and Lancelot from their nightmares? Who would drag Gwaine away from the tavern? Who would keep Arthur on track, able to sleep, focused on what matters? Who would stop Mordred from gazing into the distance, like he wished he was still with the Witch Morgana? Leon has big shoes to fill, and the poor knight hadn’t quite realised just how big until he was suddenly forced to take on a caretaker role, but he tries his best, and in between bouts of looking after his friends, he allows himself his own grief and guilt in equal parts. Before he’d decided enough was enough and stole himself away in the night, who had been looking after Merlin?

He thinks perhaps Sir Lancelot grieves less than he should, but every time he spies the younger man sending or receiving a letter with a small, mournful smile on his face, he’s assured it’s with a cousin, overseas in Francia, whom he hasn’t seen in two decades. Leon isn’t sure if he thinks he’s a liar or not. Isn’t sure if he even wants to know the truth. Does Lancelot know? Does Merlin truly hate all bar him so much that he ran? Does Lancelot understand to the extent that he let everyone think Merlin was taken? Dead? He wonders if he should’ve sent patrols in the opposite direction to where Lancelot suggested, and he wonders what they would’ve found. He wonders what they would’ve done with whatever it is they would’ve found. Then again... they’d stopped sending patrols out with the soul purpose of looking for Merlin three years ago. Perhaps it’s time to stop wondering.

[He knows he’ll never stop.]

The knights... manage.

Percival hadn’t known him all that well, but they’d been fond of each other, at least, he’d thought so. They, in the years they’d known each other, had spent the odd afternoon in the library together, a book in each of their laps and half a room of space between them. Conversation hadn’t flowed, not ever, but the company had been good, and Percival had felt extremely at ease.

Elyan... had known him a little better. A lot better, at first, he was the first of Round Table to arrive in Camelot and stay in Camelot. And for that short while, Elyan had considered them the best of friends. Every Friday they’d play cards, every Wednesday Merlin would come around for dinner. Almost every other afternoon Merlin would appear in Elyan’s forge to escape Arthur’s ridiculous demands and chores. Then... things happened, invasions, and magic, and new arrivals, and more invasions. And they’d drifted. Merlin stopped seeking sanctuary with him, other people were invited to cards, dinner happened twice a month, once a month, then once in a blue moon, and even then it was only because Gwen practically dragged him over. Then never, because Gwen became Queen, and Merlin had looked so so tired, and Elyan hadn’t wanted to push his luck. He wonders if he should’ve, wonders if all Merlin had needed was a friend’s shoulder every Wednesday and Friday.

No one can tell what Mordred thinks. Everyone knows he and Merlin had... butted heads, somehow, but Mordred had also never really stopped seeking Merlin’s approval, even when the servant made it plainly obvious that he wanted nothing to do with the boy. None of them had ever questioned it, at least not verbally, but despite the tension, the youngest of the knights still seems to... miss him. Still seems to look over his shoulder with a hopeful smile, and instead of looking away with a red-faced disappointment that Merlin had only ignored him, he looks away with a downtrodden grimace, because Merlin isn’t there to ignore him. He and Lancelot mutter, sometimes, when they think no one can see them with their heads bent together.

Gwaine overhears them once from around the corner; Mordred’s furiously whispered “Arthur isn’t changing, Lance, can you not see that? I wish I’d taken up his offer and gone with him. He was damn right that we deserve better than this, and you know it.” He stops listening halfway through Lance’s sad response “I know, I know, but he...” and turns around to walk away, away, away. When he initially starts his determined journey down the stone halls, he thinks he intends to leave, to wander the forest and not stop until he’s found Merlin or died trying. He ends up at the tavern, of course, and although on most days he likes to think he forgot what exactly it was that drove him to almost kill himself via alcohol poisoning, some days, he remembers vividly. He never mentions it to a soul. If Merlin had been sick of the way he was treated, then who is Gwaine to tell everyone and spur on the searches again? Who is Gwaine to scupper Mordred’s chances of escaping as well, by telling everyone that Merlin had offered the young man a place at his side and said young man wished he’d taken it?

It happens slowly at first: the arrow flies across the clearing and finds its mark with a sickening squelch and a spray of blood, with Arthur’s wide eyes fixed on it the whole way. Then the world catches up.

The fight goes from being muffled and silent in The King’s ears to being loud and fast and blinding in the space between Elyan’s wordless gasp and when he hits the floor, having tipped backwards to the forest floor. Arthur lets out a breath, understanding with a quick certainty that that is not a wound one survives from, not this far from home, anyway. He swings his sword up as he twists, gutting the bandit who’d hoped to sneak up on him with an angry yell as he screams across the fight:

“Elyan’s down! Let’s finish this!”

Though he has no doubt that they’d all been giving their all before his desperate cry, his closest and strongest knights somehow seem to double their efforts as Percival, by far the best at first aid, abandons his fight to be taken over by Gwaine and dashes towards Elyan, still breathing though disturbingly motionless, sprawled over a thick tree root.

The remaining bandits are despatched of quickly, and Arthur wipes his wrist across his brow as he catches his breath, his sleeve comes away dirty with blood and sweat and river water. Damn that river. The only reason they’d been without armour and horses is because they were on their way back to camp after swimming when Lancelot, left to watch the base, had burst through the trees shouting about an attack. He’d closely been followed by nigh on fifteen bandits. They’d been lucky enough, or smart enough, to take their swords with them at least.

As they rush over to the injured man, Arthur sends thanks to his old trainers for insisting he practice without looking down at his feet; he allows his eyes to wander over his still-standing allies as he runs, not tripping once through the foliage. Mordred is holding his upper arm, blood seeping through his fingers, but his skin isn’t any paler than normal, and his eyes are angry; if they’re angry, they’re focused. Leon’s hand looks like it might be broken (Arthur wonders when in God’s name during that fight he’d managed to punch someone), and Lancelot looks a bit worse for wear, though to be fair to him, he’d had to run quite a way before the fight actually started.

Arthur’s breath catches in his throat, but his desperate words, “Where’s Merlin?!” catch as well, and he manages to stop himself saying them before he gets yet another round of pitying glances from his team. Everyone and their mother knows it was Arthur’s fault Merlin had disappeared, and though no one knows quite why, Arthur doesn’t fancy the award silence and clenched jaws that come with being reminded of their missing friend.

“How is he? Percival?”

As they gather around the large man, knelt over Elyan like a reaper, a deep breath is drawn by each of them; the wounded knight’s eyes are clenched shut in pain, in agony, and his fingers are tightly wound in his blood soaked shirt. Percival looks back over his shoulder at his King, his face grim and his voice low:

“It’s deep, I daren’t take it out. He needs a physician, and a damn good one, in the next few hours, or he’s not... he’s not going to make it.”

He stumbles over those last few words, knowing full well that they’re a three day’s ride from the city, and the village they’d been heading towards is, though only a two day’s ride away, highly unlikely to have a skilled enough physician. Arthur turns around, wiping one hand down his tired face as the other rests uneasily on his hip; he takes a few steps into the clearing, and Leon’s voice:

“Arthur, what’s the heading?”

Is responded to with blunt words and a sharp tone:

“Just... give me a minute.”

The First Knight gulps, but steps towards him nonetheless, putting a hand on his shoulder:

“We don’t have a minute, we need to know where we’re going now. The village, or the city? Either way... it’s a gamble, but we need to know.”

Arthur huffs, but when he turns around half a second later, the fear in his expression is overlaid by curiosity:

“The house. I saw... yes, I definitely saw a house, about an hour before we stopped. I... I’d forgotten about it until now, I don’t know how I forgot but... there were herbs, a well, a pen with... with animals, I think. We should... that’s our best bet. I recognised the herbs, some were edible but most of them were healing, and fresh water will come in handy. If we put him on a horse and hurry we’ll be there in half a candle mark.”

Inaudible to everyone, Lancelot gulps and clenches his jaw. He knows exactly why Arthur forgot. He forgot, because he was meant to.

The others just nod along. Differing opinions aside, Arthur is King, and over the years they’ve all learnt to trust his judgment and strategy, even if they don’t understand it. Even Gwaine bows his head and sheaths his sword in the loose belt around his waist, leaning down to be on the opposite side of Elyan to Percival:

“Hey buddy, this is going to really hurt for a hot minute, but we’re gonna get you fixed right up, ok?”

Elyan just groans, but there’s a nod somewhere in his pained shuffling, so Gwaine and Percival share a dark look before grabbing his arms, and hosting him to his feet. He yelps, the sound echoing across the silent forest like a fox caught in a bear trap, and Mordred, eyes no longer angry but wide with fear and grief—grief that he feels guilty for feeling when Elyan is still alive—moves to walk along behind the three men. He brushes the very tips of his fingers along Elyan’s shoulders, hunched over as he barely even manages to drag his own feet, and mutters a few quiet words. He blinks as his eyes flash, though Lancelot glares at him worriedly anyway; Mordred ignores him, growing exhausted in just a second and stumbling slightly. No one notices, bar Lancelot. He’d given Elyan as much energy as he could without keeling over himself, but he knows ultimately it’ll only give the other knight an extra hour of life, maybe two if he’s strong, if he’s lucky.

The journey back to camp is annoyingly slow, but Leon runs ahead of the group, packing the essentials and doing his best to hide everything else in the bushes to heighten the chance that it’s there when they come back for it in the coming weeks. As the others reach the camp, they see the horses have been untied and are lined up waiting, the strongest of the pack, Arthur’s, front and centre; Leon stands to one side waiting, hastily wrapping his bruised and bloody hand with tight bandages and a grimacing face. Arthur’s horse goes down on her knees with one gesture from The King, and Percival and Gwaine hoist Elyan atop her. He groans again, but not nearly as loud as before; the quiet moans are more unnerving than the loud yelps, but that goes unsaid as Percival mounts behind him and pulls the horse to stand. She snickers in mild complaint at the weight of two grown men, but otherwise goes gracefully, immediately turning in the direction of Arthur’s pointed finger before Percival even thinks of pulling the reins. Arthur, in a distant part of his mind, makes a mental note to reward her with a gentle wander through the forest, armour and sword free, and plenty of sugar cubes, when they get back.

The patrol follows quickly behind The King’s horse, worried eyes focused on their slouching friend, as fast as they can manage without damaging Elyan even more.

The journey to the house Arthur saw is even more annoyingly slow; they’d had to slow down several times on Percival’s orders when Elyan had almost slipped form the saddle in front of him. The man is fading, and fading fast, and Mordred’s heart speeds with the thought that he and Percival had vastly miscalculated. If... if he hadn’t siphoned his magic into Elyan, the other knight wouldn’t have even made it back to camp.

Lancelot’s words, ten minutes into their ride, go quickly rebutted:

“Sire, are... are we sure this is the right course of action? There’s likely to be some sort of healer in the village and we have... we have no idea whose home we’re about to barge into.”

“Yes, I’m sure. I know I’m sure. We keep going.”

Despite Lancelot’s clenched jaw and deep breath, he seems almost... relieved, as though he knows whoever it is living in that house will be able to help. If they hadn’t been in such a rush, Lancelot’s words and the potential meaning behind them would catch in Leon’s mind and make him stumble, like a loose thread in one’s cloak catches on an unvarnished doorframe and jolts you back. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who you ask, Leon’s thoughts are a million miles away, with a woman he’s come to see as a sister sat on her throne, completely unawares of her brother’s life hanging in the balance.

The land around the house feels... wrong, somehow. Like they shouldn’t be there. Like they can’t quite remember what they’re doing there at all. Like they really need to turn back. It’s familiar to Arthur, familiar enough that it backfires spectacularly and confirms in his mind that this is exactly where he was aiming to get to.

Lancelot is the only other one to stay steadfast in knowing where he’s going; the others, one by one, mutter under their breaths about whether they’re going in the right direction, or how perhaps Lance was right and they should go back to the village, or how Camelot isn’t really that far away, they can keep Elyan alive well enough for three days, surely. They can’t though, rather obviously, and they all accept that with a sudden rush of focus every time Elyan groans and shifts in his saddle, now barely conscious.

When the little building finally comes into view through the greenery, it seems like something out of a fairytale. Thick, latticed windows go over two floors, lit from the inside with the comforting flicker of candlelight. Ivy creeps up from the garden, covering the walls with a vibrant emerald spotted with colourful flowers, and though the well still seems usable, the leaves crawl in a somewhat pleasing manner up and over the stone edges. There are wooden chairs, three of them, in a half circle just to the left of the front door, and though they all—one significantly smaller than the others, a child’s chair—look well-worn, they look well-worn in the well-loved kind of way; comfortable and sentimental and homely.

The fence that surrounds the house pens in two small goats, and a huge dog—sleepy and droopy looking—lounges on the small paved area that the chairs sit on, its long, brushed tail wrapping almost protectively around the smallest chair. The herbs that Arthur can see down the side of the house, and that he assumes curve around the back, are separated by another fence, and The King finds himself wondering how much damage the goats had done before whoever had lived here decided a second fence was needed.

What really brings the whole scene together, however, is the child, maybe three or fours years old, sat below one of the windows.

He stares up at them with big blue eyes, wary but curious, as his absent hands drop the wooden toys he’d been playing with. The moment he stands, his eyes not leaving the group loitering on the other side of the fence for a moment, the dog is there, up and strong and steadfast in standing at the boy’s side. It hadn’t been sleeping at all, simply... guarding. It seems even bigger next to the small boy, its teeth, bared in warning but not quite at the point of being too aggressive, hover around the child’s shoulder, but before Arthur can call out for assistance, the boy turns his head slightly towards the door and yells, his eyes still not leaving The King:

“MAMA!”

Barely three seconds pass before a woman with long, dark hair, in a red dress and a dirty apron, appears at the front door. It seems her gaze is first caught by the spot under the chairs, her brows furrowing slightly when she doesn’t immediately see the dog; her eyes go wide when she next looks to her child and sees the animal there, standing, staring, growling, and then go wider still when she looks up to see the group of men, weary and bloody and desperate looking, astride horses just outside her gate.

She gasps and stumbles back, only just catching herself on the doorframe as she speaks hurriedly:

“Orion, come here, quickly please. Remus, bring.”

The boy begins moving to his mother immediately, though is pushed quicker by the beast of a dog nudging and nipping at his heels, herding him towards the front door. Arthur dismounts, stepping towards the gate but not moving to open it, his hands held up in surrender:

“Please, we mean you no harm, our friend is injured and he won’t make it through the next hour. All we need is some water, some bandages, some herbs. Somewhere we can treat him. He’s my... he’s my brother-in-law, he has a sister to get home to, we... please.”

His tone is pleading, in a way that it has never been before, cracking in places, and though the woman still seems wary and fearful, her face visibly softens, confusion growing in the place of fright. She glances to The King’s side, to the space Arthur had thought that Lancelot had dismounted and stepped to, and after a suspiciously small movement from the corner of his eye, the woman sighs and calls back into the house, her son stood next to her with the dog laying down across his feet:

“LOVE?! COME OUT HERE, PLEASE.”

She, like her son had, doesn’t look away from them, not even as a pale, angular face topped with a mop of unruly dark curls appears over her shoulder:

“What’s wro-”

He pauses as his eyes go wide, but he’s quick to push in front of the woman and whistle sharply. The dog stands again quickly, its ears pulled back and its teeth bared and its hackles raised as it stalks slowly, ever so slowly, across the garden towards the fence. The gathering of knights hardly notice, and Gwaine is the first to break the thick silence as he pushes to the front, no longer upon his horse:

“Merlin?”

Merlin, for it is him, and how could they ever have believed that this idyllic little home could belong to anyone else, flinches at the grief in his tone, but it seems to come more from a place of anger than regret. He ignores Gwaine’s plea and everyone else’s staring, just speaks lowly:

“Go inside, Fee, take Orion. I’ll deal with this.”

The woman, Fee, frowns slightly, resting a hand on the man’s shoulder:

“Merls, they just need-”

“Go inside.”

It seems more pleading that demanding, but she just rolls her eyes and whistles, like Merlin had, and turns around, leading the boy by the shoulder back into the house. Remus the dog follows at a happy trot, it’s complete change in demeanour shocking the gang almost more than anything else. Almost, but not quite. Merlin shuts the door behind them forcefully and grinds out his next words, obviously using a great deal of self-control to stop himself from screaming and swearing:

“What are you doing here?”

Arthur can’t answer, just stares at his lost friend with wide teary eyes, so Lancelot steps forward instead, and the absolute fury, the almost hatred in Merlin’s eyes when he looks at him has the knight’s heart cracking just a tiny bit more:

“We need your help, Merlin. Please.”

Merlin’s face grows even angrier and he takes a step forward as he waves an accusing hand around:

“You brought them here?! After everything, you brought them here?!”

Lancelot shakes his head and holds his hands out, tone pleading and desperate:

“No, you know I would never give this place up, but Arthur’s mind broke through the barrier somehow and I couldn’t stop them and... and really, Merlin, we need you. It’s Elyan.”

Merlin huffs, angry, but tilts his head to the side slightly in an invitation for an explanation. Percival, slightly concealed at the back of the group, encourages his horse to step forward around the small crowd, bringing Elyan into view. The giant is trying hard to hold his friend up, wipe the tear from his cheek, and hold onto the reins, so Leon, confused and emotional but decisively productive all the same, has to give the shaky signal for the animal to drop to her knees. Merlin gives the wounded man a once over, and though a flash of worry passes over his face, he wipes his expression and looks back to the frozen King, his tone viciously blank:

“What happens to knights when they venture out of the safety of their Kingdom is no concern of mine. You crossed the Camelot border a mile East, and considering it looks like you’ve come from the West... you’re already overstepping by quite a way. Make your way home, perhaps someone there will be able to help you.”

He finishes off with a snarl, but even the angry lilt to his voice has a layer of sadness over it; though he obviously intends to step back into the house and lock them out, Lancelot leans against the fence and continues quickly:

“Please, Merlin, look at him. He won’t survive the next hour, let alone a journey all the way home. Home, where Gwen is waiting for him. Please, we won’t stay long, just long enough so he can make it back to his sister, please.”

Merlin’s jaw goes tight, but he does look to Elyan again. He sees the bloody shirt, the still-lodged arrow, the sweaty brow, the lack of consciousness, and in the end it only takes him a few seconds to sigh and lean back against the doorframe with his face in his hands. He, without looking up, waves a limp finger in Lancelot’s vague direction, and mutters:

“Using Gwen as a bargaining chip... that’s cheating and you know it.-”

He sighs again the turns around, opening the door and gesturing to them all:

“-Bring him in and put him on the kitchen table. You can leave the horses in the garden, the goats won’t bother them and they won’t be able to get out unless someone leaves the gate open. Hurry.”

He seems tired, resigned, but also rushed, but also... almost angry, still. Lancelot cringes internally, this is... this feels wrong. They shouldn’t be here, he knows that, he knows Merlin left for a reason, for a long list of reasons actually, and this... this just seems cruel, to bring Arthur, Gwaine, Leon, here. To bring all of them here. But nevertheless, Elyan is dying, and Merlin and Freya are the only ones for miles around that have even the smallest chance of saving him. The knight hopes at least, as he corrals everyone into the garden and through the front door, that the Warlock will be happy to see Mordred still on the right path.

Percival follows Merlin first, Elyan in his arms bridal style now that he’s completely unable to hold his own weight, but the others file in as well, their guilt at paying more attention to their surroundings than their dying friend pushed to the back of their minds. Elyan is placed softly down on the table, the surface having been cleared with a pillow placed at one end; the woman bustles around the room, chopping and grinding herbs, heating water over the lit hearth, and organising and cleaning medical equipment, though the boy is nowhere in sight. She seems completely unsurprised to see that Merlin had agreed to help, and if the situation were any less serious, Lancelot would smirk at her determination.

At Lance’s confident gesture, the group of knights hang back towards the corner of the room, watching on as Merlin finally, finally, approaches the injured knight.

He puts a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly and frowning when he doesn’t react, before ever so gently shifting the blood soaked tunic around so he can get a better look at the arrow still embedded in his mid torso. He clenches his jaw and tuts quietly, though the overall impression Arthur gets is that... this isn’t good. Merlin looks up with a grave expression, barely glancing in the others’ direction before he reaches out to the woman, grabbing her softly by the elbow and pulling her around to look at him:

“Freya, take Rio to Iseldir-”

[The name is familiar to Arthur, but unlike Leon, who quietly gasps and straightens his back in wonder, he can’t place it.]

“-and stay there until I come fetch you. I don’t want them anywhere near you.”

Arthur frowns, partly offended, mostly just frightened and guilty and miserable and so so confused, but stays silent as she turns around fully, a soft, pitying smile on her face:

“I’ll take Orion, but I’m coming back. I won’t leave you here alone.”

They stare at each other silently for a few moments, as if they’re arguing in their heads, but the moment Freya raises a single eyebrow, Merlin deflates slightly and nods:

“Fine, fine. While you’re there, ask Iseldir if he can spare some coriander, we’re running low and if he catches an infection... well, a fever will be the least of his problems, but still.”

Freya just nods, dropping her arm so she can squeeze Merlin’s hand with her own one last time before hurrying out of the room, shutting the door behind her, and seemingly heading up the stairs.

Merlin very deliberately doesn’t look up at any of the knights huddled in the corner, like he doesn’t even know them, or worse, like he does but desperately doesn’t want to. He very quickly gets back to assessing Elyan, pressing fingers to various pulse points and checking his reactions to pain, noise, heat. The limp man groans a little, but the knights are more focused on trying to discern the whispers coming from the hall. Freya had evidently collected the boy and brought him downstairs, but before anyone can figure out what they’re muttering about, they hear the front door open and close once more. At the same time, Merlin finishes up his checks, sighs, steps away from the table, and presses his knuckles into his eyes so hard he has to blink away white spots when he lowers his hands again. Arthur, his voice still coarse and his mind focused on everything in the room bar his injured brother, breaks the tense silence:

“What... what’s going on, Merlin?”

It’s clear that The King isn’t asking about the state of Elyan’s health, but that goes unaddressed as Merlin sighs again; instead of the exhalation being resigned and tired, it’s heavy, angry, and when he looks at The King, even though it’s brief, the eye contact burns a hole right right through Arthur’s soul:

“You don’t get to speak. Mor’, come give me a hand.”

Mordred gulps, but walks forward without much hesitation, standing over Elyan on the opposite side of the table to Merlin. The ice in the former servant’s eyes thaws noticeably, though the small smile on his face as he reaches across to pat Mordred’s shoulder is even more noticeable:

“It’s... good to see you, Emrys. I’ve been...-”

He glances to the others, but it’s fleeting and he’s quick to look back to Merlin as the corner of the former servant’s mouth ticks up slightly; a croak from Elyan snaps the two out of their reverie, and Mordred’s continuation is focused on the task at hand, despite his joy at seeing Merlin smile as opposed to flinch at his true name, and despite all bar Lancelot’s confusion:

“-What do I do?”

Merlin turns to grab the sewing equipment from the kitchen counter, laid out neatly, a detail that no one had noticed until now. Freya... she must be a physician like Merlin, for she seems to have had the room set up perfectly before Merlin had even agreed to let them in. He nods to the knives and scissors lined up next to Mordred’s hands:

“Cut his top away from the wound but don’t aggravate it,-”

He places the kit next to Elyan’s head before pulling out a wad of cloth and bandages from a crate somewhere below the table:

“-I’ll need to clean as much of it as I can before I treat it. Someone get me a bucket of water.” Lancelot is the first to move, giving Arthur an absent-minded pat on the shoulder before pushing his way towards the front door. Merlin holds the bandages under one arm as he gently pulls scraps of blood-soaked cloth away from Elyan’s stomach, allowing Mordred’s steady hands to cut it. He feels a pang of guilt deep in his chest; Merlin knows Mordred would have been a fine physician’s apprentice in another life, had Arthur not pushed him into an adult’s war, had Merlin not shunned him. There’s still time, he thinks, just maybe.

Before Merlin can verbalise his thoughts, before he can think of maybe repeating his invitation from years ago, Mordred speaks, his voice low and wary but loud enough to be heard by all in the room:

“I’ve been thinking about your offer, recently.”

It’s not a question, not a request, but Merlin understands the meaning behind his words anyway. His eyes search Mordred’s, still turned down towards Elyan, for a few moment, but when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, or when he does, his smile grows, only slightly, only briefly:

“We have a spare room, plenty of food, plenty of water. You’re welcome to stay with us, as long as you like. We’re also in close contact with Iseldir, and I know he and the group have missed you.”

Mordred smiles as he glances up, not that the others, behind him still, can see, but he’s quick to look back down to the task in hand as Lancelot pushes back through the door with a full bucket. The soiled shirt has been dumped on the floor and the pools of blood collecting around the wound have been painstakingly wiped away, leaving red streaks across his skin, and Merlin gestures vaguely to the floor next to him. Lance carefully places the clean, cold water by the physician’s feet before standing behind Elyan’s head, an absent-minded hand stroking over the sides of his neck as he groans and writhes.

The other knights shuffle uncomfortably, still all huddled in the corner, but just as Gwaine takes a breath to break the silence, the front door opens again, followed by the kitchen door. Freya walks in alone, her eyes jumping first to The King and his men, then the body on the table, and then last of all Merlin before she speaks, her voice soft and quiet and comforting.

“He’s settled at camp, Remus too.”

Merlin doesn’t react in anyway other than nodding slightly, his concentration unwavering as he dumps the last of the dirty clothes in a pile at his feet:

“Hm. Didn’t take long.”

Freya smiles and nods as she moves closer to the table:

“Brianna distracted him with some funny story or other whilst Iseldir fetched the coriander. By the time I said goodbye he was almost too wrapped up to notice me leaving. I told Iseldir what was going on and came straight back through.-”

Merlin hums again but doesn’t say anything as she sidles up to be next to him. She loses her smile quickly, sighing with sad eyes as she strokes soft fingers down Elyan’s cheek:

“-Poor boy.”

Merlin’s frown deepens from concentration to slight disapproval as he takes a deep breath and lines up his tools:

“If he were a Camelot knight whose face I didn’t know, I’d sit back and watch as he bled out in the garden and then leave his body to the vultures. Unfortunately I happen to know and regrettably be quite fond of this one’s sister. That, and I find myself feeling marginally less cruel when you’re around.”

Freya snorts and rolls her eyes, though the anxiety for Elyan is plain to see in her expression:

“Blood and vultures, you sure know how to sweet talk a lady.”

Merlin smirks slightly but doesn’t look up as he grabs a thick white bandage with one hand, and wraps his other around the wooden shaft of the arrow:

“I already got you to marry me, I didn’t think sweet talking was a requirement anymore.”

It had been obvious, with the way they spoke, they way they looked at each other, the house, the dog, the child, but the verbal confirmation that Merlin had... had married this woman has Arthur taking in a sharp, but quiet breath. Merlin hears it, going by the twitch in his jaw, but other than the heavy hand Leon places on his King’s shoulder, no one acknowledges him.

Freya steps back towards the counter, hovering her hands over various pots and bowls and bottles of pastes and creams and tinctures, throwing a handful of coriander than no one had noticed her carrying down next to them. The knights’ eyes don’t stay on her long though.

Mordred moves, without instruction, to hold Elyan’s hips down as Lancelot pushes his shoulders into the table, and with one last nod from them, Merlin pulls the arrow up and out of Elyan’s stomach. He writhes and yells, suddenly awake again, but the high and violent spurts of blood from the wound are more worrying, and Merlin swears as he clamps down on the injury with the bandage:

“Shit, this is bleeding from something major, I can’t just sew this, and I... ugh-”

He turns his head away as a rogue stream of blood comes flying past his face; he’s quick to cover it up again, thought he bandage is soaking through terrifyingly quickly:

“-I definitely can’t cauterise it.”

Freya rushes back to the table, having abandoned the topicals in the knowledge that they definitely can’t help now:

“Merls, you’ll have to-”

Merlin groans and swears under his breath before interrupting her:

“Yeah, yeah I know, get ready.”

Freya nods seriously, glancing to the knights and gulping before looking back to the side of Merlin’s face. She gathers more bandages in her hands and holds them by Merlin’s soaked one, ready to clamp down if... if whatever it is he’s about to try doesn’t work. He lifts the cloth, tossing it to one side before hovering his hand over the now streaming, not spurting, wound:

“Ahycgan blódryne. Gehælan.-”

His irises strip themselves of the blue Arthur had missed so much, replacing it with a metallic gold, as bright as the sun, and a sudden wind rushes between Elyan’s injured abdomen and the other man’s hovering hand. The King takes in another breath as Leon falls a step back, dropping his hand, Percival gulps, and Gwaine’s shoulders drop. Despite their shock, anger, realisation, guilt, none of them interrupt Merlin as he continues to mutter under his breath.

His first spell had been loud and deliberate, but the knights struggle to figure out whether his subsequent mutterings are urging the magic on, or his thoughts simply made verbal:

“-Ahycgan... ætrihte... ætrihte. Ðêos. Gehælan.”

It lasts a few moments, and though Mordred, Lancelot, and Freya look concerned, it seems that they are more concerned about whether the spells will work than about the fact that Merlin is using magic. Arthur, his thoughts running a thousand miles a minute, refuses to acknowledge the puzzle pieces slowly falling into place in his head, the memories of unsettling confusion, quickly forgotten and ignored, dragged to the forefront of his mind and beginning to make more sense.

The wind slows down, as does Merlin’s muttering, getting quieter and quieter until he’s no longer even making any noise, just mouthing the nonsensical sounding words, softly twisting them around in his mouth as if her were tasting them instead of speaking them.

And then he stops.

The gold disappears, the wind drops, he lowers his hand, and sags his shoulders.

Freya is quick to put a hand on the back of his neck, calloused but soft fingertips twirling around the feathery curls at the base of his head as Lance’s fingers on Elyan’s neck become more purposeful. The room seems to freeze for a moment, everyone holding their breaths bar Merlin, who softly pants, before Lance sighs and smiles:

“His pulse is becoming stronger. It’s still weak, but it’s there, it’s good.”

Mordred, his own fingers having wondered to Elyan’s inner wrist, nods in agreement as Freya and Merlin let out deep breaths. It’s Percival’s oddly meek interruption that reminds the little group that they have company:

“So he’ll be ok?”

Merlin finds himself grateful that the giant knight had avoided the obvious issue in the room, or... all of the obvious issues; he nods but still doesn’t look up as he clears his throat and busies himself in cleaning up the dirtied scraps of fabric:

“He’ll be extremely weak for a few days, and he shouldn’t move at all for at least a week otherwise he might start bleeding internally again. You can leave him with us and come back to get him when I send a letter summoning you.”

His last sentence seems decisive as he turns his back to them, needlessly wiping down the counters that hadn’t seen a speck of blood, but Freya tuts and mutters his name at the same time as Gwaine exclaims:

“We can’t leave him!”

Merlin whirls around with golden eyes, and though he doesn’t appear to be actually doing anything magical, the fury on his face would be enough to terrify the knights even without the colour shift:

“If you stay in my home beyond your welcome, I’ll ki-”

Freya steps in front of him, her back straight and her face hard as she says his name again, this time more forceful than reproachful:

“Merlin.-”

The gold fades, and his blue eyes look down at her. The anger melts away to an adoration, and though it’s shielded by frustration, it’s clear almost immediately that she’s won the non-verbal argument. The corner of his mouth twitches downwards but he nods, just once, and she turns to face the knights, all of whom are trying to pretend they haven’t got fear scrawled across their faces, clear as day:

“-it’ll be a squeeze and you’ll have to sleep on the floor, but we have the space for you, just about.”

She smiles warmly at them, and though there is still a sliver of wariness in her expression, it’s clear that she wants to trust them, wants to believe that they mean her and her family no harm. They all relax their stiff backs, still confused, still with lumps in their throats and weights in their chests, but at least they can stay, at least they don’t have to leave their friend behind. Mordred clears his throat before anyone can say anything more, nodding his thanks at Freya before gesturing to Elyan’s thankfully peacefully sleeping form:

“Is there anywhere more comfortable we can lay him?”

She nods, her smile growing easier at the youngest of the knights, the one she’d heard the most stories about. She wonders if Mordred knows the stories too, and decides that, either way, he deserves perhaps a little more warmness than the others:

“We have one spare bedroom. It’s the only open door upstairs, I prepped the room earlier so you can take him straight through, just be careful with him.”

Mordred smiles weakly and nods, meeting eyes with Lancelot before the two of them carefully lift Elyan between them, holding him as still and softly as they’re able without dropping him as they move from the room. Merlin mutters something under his breath, and though Freya rolls her eyes, it seems fond as he picks up another clean cloth and begins wiping down his hands and arms of blood:

“You can unload and untack the horses, leave your stuff in the other room.-”

He nods vaguely to a door on the adjacent wall to the hallway entrance as he continues:

“-The horses should be fine, but if you want extra feed or blankets for them then they’re in the storage shed out back.”

His voice is low and simmering, and now that the emergency has passed, now the blood is being washed away and Elyan is being settled into a peaceful bed elsewhere, the confusion and heartache set in again. Arthur takes a miniscule step forward, breathing in to say something before his face falls and he lets the air go again. He bites his lip and looks away, his fists clenching at his sides as his eyes visibly water. Freya silently reaches for Merlin’s hand, and he lets her take it as The King looks back to him:

“Why?”

It’s only one word, but it encapsulates so much confusion and pain and heartache that Merlin can barely see him through the angry tears that he refuses to let fall. How dare he be confused, hurt, accusing:

“If you still have to ask, after all you’ve just seen, then I was right to leave. Tyrant.”

Arthur flinches at the accusation, but Freya is quick to interject; though the others half expect her to scold him for his harsh tone and dirty word, instead she simply defends him with a soft change of subject, a soft reminder:

“The horses, sir knights?”

Arthur’s confusion grows, but Leon steps forward again, nodding in understanding agreement as he softly grabs his King’s shoulder and turns him towards the door. He goes easily enough, too stuck in his mind to resist, and the others follow behind them, their eyes turned downwards and their hearts racing yet heavy.

END of Part 1!!!

Only realised how long it was when I got to over 11k, so here’s the first 7.8k, and we’ll see how I get along with the rest of it 😅

Let me know what you thought gang!! There’ll be more angst, but a happy/hopefully ending as well!! Some general caretaking, some domestic life, some family moments (some family moments that baffle those not in the family😉)!!

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jakeonao3 · 2 years ago

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you try so loud to love me (I cannot seem to hear): merthur, 1k words

“He can never know I’m in love with him. Telling him I have magic is one thing but telling him I’m in love with him is out of the question.” Merlin said at the druid he was talking to in the woods just outside the castle.

After sorting out their problem – said problem being that the Once and Future King still didn’t know about Emrys being Merlin, about them not ruling Camelot together, and that had brought them here, to the druids wanting Merlin to confess his feelings towards Arthur to the man in question – so, more like problems, and by sorting out he means saying he’ll never tell him, the druids left Merlin in the clearing they were in.

As soon as the druids were out of sight and earshot, Merlin sighed and sat on the grass. He couldn’t tell Arthur he had magic, let alone that he loved him. Both of those things would end their friendship, and Merlin didn’t know what he would do without Arthur by his side. Without being able to protect him, even if he would never know about it.

The sound of leaves shuffling made him turn around only to see the man he was thinking about, Arthur. Arthur was there. Oh my Goddess, how long had he been there? How much did he hear?

Arthur walks up to him, and Merlin just stares at everything but him, praying to the Triple Goddess, the Disir and the Old Religion that Arthur didn’t hear a thing.

When he’s close to Merlin, Arthur says, “Merlin.” It doesn’t have that usual tone of fondness and exasperation it always does instead it seems to be partly angry and partly- Merlin doesn’t know.

Merlin finally looks up to his king, still sitting on the floor.

“Arthur, what are you doing here?” He tries for casual but knows he’s missed it by a mile. His breaths coming more rapidly now.

Arthur is still looking at him as he says, “I followed you because I wanted to know where you actually are when you and Gaius say you’re at the tavern.” A pause then, “I heard everything, Merlin.”

Merlin’s eyes widen before he stands up and tries to walk backwards to get away from him, breaths coming more and more shortly. He doesn’t even realize he’s talking saying I’m sorry all over again, apologizing for something out of his control, let it be the magic or the love, he didn’t choose any of it, it just happened.

“I’m sorry, I’ll leave. Please don’t kill me. I don’t want to die.” With tears in his eyes, he realizes that he couldn’t live with the thought of Arthur hating him and banishing him, so he says, “No wait, please kill me here, with your sword. I don’t want Gaius to see me burn, I don’t want to be banished, I can’t live with the thought of you hating me, so please, kill me now.” While he was saying all of this, he managed to get in front of Arthur, only inches separating them.

Arthur slowly lifted his hand and put it on Merlin’s cheek. “Merlin, you idiot.” He placed a small peck on his lips and then said, “I could never harm you, or banish you for that matter. I’m in love with you too. And for the magic, did you really think I didn’t know? I’m not that dense, you know?” Merlin gave him a skeptical look. “Are you not angry? About my magic, about me lying to you for all these years, about me being in love with you?” There was a pause where he thought back about what Arthur had just said. “Wait, you’re in love with me?” His eyes widened and Arthur took it as a good moment to place his lips on Merlin’s once again. This time Merlin kissed him back – after a second of shock – and what a joy that was. He had imagined kissing Arthur, but the fantasies were nothing compared to the real thing.

He was so caught up in the kiss that when Arthur pulled back, he chased him with his lips, getting out a moan from Arthur. Merlin liked it so much that he walked him back until his back was against a tree trunk.

At this point, they were making out like teenagers. Tongue sliding against tongue. Teeth biting on lips and so on.

This time it was Merlin who broke the kiss by putting his hand on Arthur’s chest and holding him there. Arthur was looking at him with so much love that he didn’t know how he never noticed it before. He placed one or two more kisses on Arthur’s lips just because he could, and finally stepped back.

“We should head home.” Arthur loved the idea of taking Merlin to bed and be his in all the possible ways, so he said exactly that. Merlin smiled at him and responded with “I’ll take good care if you, my love.”

And with that they headed back to Camelot hand in hand, happier than they’d ever been.

#merthur #merthur fanfic #merthur fanfiction #Arthur Pendragon #arthur x merlin #merlin x arthur #merlin #merlin emrys #merlin bbc #bbc merlin

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cystali · 2 years ago

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rule breaker (bbc merlin fic)

so I realized I truly never posted this fic on ao3 to tumblr, and as I'm working on some more of it....maybe.. here it is for you. TW: irresponsible alcohol use

Merlin doesn’t really drink. It’s a rule of his, almost, that he never technically put in place but follows all the same. On the rarest of occasions, he gets a little tipsy when Arthur decides to treat the knights, but never to the point of losing his head. If he decided to get drunk with the Knights of Camelot, what might he let slip? Something about his magic? Something worse?

So, Merlin doesn’t really drink.

Until now. He swiped a pitcher of wine from the kitchens — he was sure Cook would realize it was missing soon enough and immediately suspect Gwaine. Merlin somehow didn’t mind.

His hands moved over the fabric of a purple bedspread, back and forth, and he watched as if he wasn’t the one controlling them. He wasn’t drunk. He had enough sense to avoid that, at least. Probably.

Slowly, his hands came to a stop, and he lifted one up to see it coated in dust. No one had been in here for a long time, after all. Morgana’s chambers had been closed off in unspoken mourning for the better part of a year. At first, he thinks, Arthur sealed them off for his father’s sake, to stop him from wasting away in the memories, and while that didn’t seem to help, Arthur kept them sealed after his father’s death. Merlin hoped it was enough to keep Arthur from the same fate.

It was dangerous being here, sitting against the wall of a room that reeked of betrayal. But Merlin liked the familiar company, and he had his magic on high alert, ready to conceal himself at the presence of someone outside the door.

So he drinks. He’s not sure why. Nothing out of the norm had really happened. He made a sacrifice, he thwarted Morgana, and Arthur thought his second home was the tavern. Par the course. Perhaps it was George’s droning lessons throughout the day that finally did him in. He certainly couldn’t blame himself if that was the case.

His hand moved back to the bedspread, fingers painting swirls in the dust.

He didn’t drink after Lancelot. It was different than the others he lost, different in that everyone knew what a close friend he was, and where usually, he was inexplicably somber, his sadness had a reason. People even expected him to drink, like Gwaine or Percival had, but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

But he’s drinking now, on his sixth — seventh, eighth? — goblet, and he understands the appeal. Things are fuzzy, and even if his memories are clearer than he thinks they should be, they are fuzzy too.

Shouldn’t he be sad? He should be, but maybe the alcohol’s more effective than he thought. Doesn’t he have a lot of reasons to be sad? He thinks he does.

There was Lancelot — the bestest friend. One of the greatest he’d had, really. There was that time— and Freya! He could be sad about Freya! It was perhaps not the love he saw in the greying hairs of Ealdor’s married couples, but it was a love he thought the poets might write of. It was love. He hiccuped. And his father, who he didn’t even get to know. He still kept the carving by his bed.

He could be sad about Morgana.

Oooh, his brain tells him, stilling his hands on the bed. Oh. Maybe he is a little sad.

He goes to pour himself another glass, picks up the pitcher, and somehow spills it. The darkness of the wine seeps into the edges of the bedspread, mingling memories and dust, and a puddle grows on the floor beneath it. Merlin picks up the pitcher with his magic and hurls it into the wall, where it dents and falls to the ground.

His vision is blurry, and he’s really not sure when he stood up, but he sits back down. Drop by drop, the wine reaches the end of the fabric to drip onto the floor by his feet, and Merlin watches it with an intent he didn’t think himself capable of at the moment.

It reminds him of something.

Someone is shaking him by the shoulders, not gently but not harshly either, and Merlin wonders why he didn’t feel them coming. He knows the voice asking him to come to his senses, though. Merlin opens his eyes fully, ignoring the crusty feel of them, to fix a glare at them.

“Dammit, you?”

Arthur doesn’t respond with a glare or a retort like Merlin thought he would, instead staring at the area around Merlin’s hand. Merlin follows his unreadable gaze to see his goblet, knocked over on the floor.

Merlin sets it right-side up. “Better?”

Arthur snorts, then cuts off the sound as if he had made it against his will, and Merlin is incredibly surprised that the man had gone so long without saying anything. Yelling at him.

“What possibly possessed you— what, was two days in the tavern not enough for you?” Ah, there it is. But he’s not yelling, and Merlin thinks that perhaps the tavern jab is meant to be comforting. Arthur’s weird brand of comforting. “And why here of all places?”

Merlin laughs, a little wetly, because somehow that’s funny, and says, “And why are you here, then?” It comes out slurred.

As he speaks, Arthur’s facial expression changes to a very familiar one: irritation. “Because my idiot of a manservant is a drunken fool.”

“Hey!” Merlin is offended by that. “I’ve never even been drunk before now, except for— for—” Merlin tries to remember. “Will. Will and I did, once.”

Will is another thing to be sad about.

Arthur does not respond immediately, but eventually, he says, “I’m sure your friends at the tavern would disagree.”

Frowning, Merlin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t think that deserves a response, firstly, but secondly, he is starting to remember why he came here. His vision becomes a little bit blurry again, Arthur’s frown going out of focus.

Arthur sighs. “I understand that coming back after your ordeal in the forest might be hard, but you can’t waste yourself away in the bottom of a cup.”

He knows he told Arthur some story about what happened to him in the forest, but he currently can’t remember what it was. How much did Arthur know? Did he know about Morgana? About Merlin being enchanted?

“It was hard,” is all he ends up saying. Something in the back of his mind screams that saying even that was a mistake. But he means it.

Arthur’s eyes widen briefly before they soften, considering him. He gets up from his crouch and Merlin thinks he’s going to leave, but instead, he moves to sit beside him against the wall. Merlin lets him.

When he speaks again, Arthur speaks quietly. “Did you hear anything of her, when her men captured you?”

Merlin doesn’t want to think about it anymore. He wants to do something else. But Arthur did ask. “She’s alive. Still eager for the throne, ready to kill you. Still mad at me.”

Next to him, he feels Arthur’s head whip around. Merlin doesn’t turn to look back at him.

“Merlin, what...” Arthur begins, slowly, then carefully restarts. “Merlin, it almost sounds as if you met her.”

He does look at him, now, and he sees the beginnings of betrayal in the crease in Arthur’s brow, but he also sees concern. Merlin smiles, and the crease deepens.

“Yeah.”

He thinks he sees a mirror shattering in Arthur’s eyes, and he wants to be able to fix it, but he can’t. He can never fix anything. Raising his arm, he scrubs at his eyes with a shirtsleeve, and Arthur chooses then to speak, maybe utilizing his distraction.

“Well, you’re clearly not…” At his pause, Merlin looks up, seeing him biting his lip. “You’re not well right now.”

Merlin snorts.

Ignoring him, Arthur continues on. “You’re not well, and this might be a pointless question even when you are, considering your general intelligence,” His eyes meet Merlin’s at the tease, yet an unreadable emotion in his eyes makes the joke fall flat. He faces forward again, eyes gone from Merlin’s. “But why would she be mad at you?”

There’s a drinking game the other servants play some nights. He’s not entirely sure of the specifics, but he knows they sit around a table and ask each other questions, and sometimes they drink alcohol because of it. Merlin had always wanted to play, but he never did — he couldn’t remember why he didn’t, but he knows he wants to be able to do it with at least one of his friends. At least one, before he can’t anymore. And he can’t remember how much he had to drink, but after the anger of that last glass, he’s feeling a little more energized.

Reckless.

“Why don’t we,” Merlin pushes himself off the floor enough to sit up straight. “Why don’t we play a game? I’ll answer any of your questions, and if you can tell I’m lying, I’ll take a drink.”

“Merlin,” Arthur enunciates as if talking to a child. “You don’t have any more wine.”

“Pshhhh, I’ll just tell you then.”

“Tell me what, exactly?”

The hesitance in Arthur’s voice is somewhat uncharacteristic, but the curiosity isn’t. Merlin grins victoriously and leans closer to say,

“If you’re right.”

At Arthur’s frown, Merlin’s victorious grin fades a little. Perhaps he won’t be able to play this game after all. Slouching, he thinks about how he should have done it with Lancelot when he had the chance.

“Alright, then, if you’re so interesting,” Arthur says right as Merlin gives up hope, and Merlin is feeling so many things it’s hard to keep track, but he thinks it’ll be fun. Arthur’s looking at him a little too seriously for him to feel the same way, but whatever. They generally did things he wanted anyway — it was only right Merlin got a turn before Morgana killed them all. He waved a hand, signaling for Arthur to start, and there’s a pause before his response.

“Were you really at the tavern?”

“Ha!” Merlin didn’t expect that, expecting him to continue his questions about Morgana or maybe ask about Will and his drinking, but this is definitely an easier answer. “Nope. Gaius is jus’ uncreative.”

He watches as Arthur’s fist tightens slightly where it rests on the floor, and he hopes he doesn’t get yelled at today. He’s pretty sure he’ll have a headache tomorrow without any extra abuse.

Instead of shouting at him, Arthur sighs sharply through his nose. “Lying to the king is considered treason, you know.” Merlin shrugs. “What else have you lied about?”

“That’s not a very specific question,” He considers whether or not that follows the rules of the game, but he also can’t really remember if there were enough to tell. He decides this is just an instance where he’ll lie. “But not very much.”

Something about that unnerves Arthur, causes his fist to unclench and his face to slacken. “You’re lying.”

Ah. “I am.”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Arthur is standing up, seemingly ready to stop their short-lived game and throw Merlin in the stocks. It’s a little dramatic considering even Arthur himself lies sometimes, but as Merlin watches Arthur stand in the middle of Morgana’s chambers - amidst dresses and weapons he knew Arthur had personally given her over the years - he doesn’t think it that dramatic after all. So Merlin keeps quiet as the king paces the floor, doesn’t say anything when Arthur kicks the dented pitcher across the room, and waits until Arthur’s breathing slows.

“Why would — ” He doesn’t finish the question, but he doesn’t have to.

“There are a lot of tiny reasons, but I think…” Merlin stares at the ceiling instead of Arthur, letting his head rest against the wall. “I think I don’t want to force you to make a decision that’d hurt you. Or me, honestly.”

That’s enough to get Arthur to sit back down next to him again. Merlin’s brief burst of energy is gone and he doesn’t want to be in this room anymore, but he’s too tired to get up. With both of them tired, they sit in silence for a while, letting the dust settle again.

When it comes, Arthur’s voice is monotone. “Why was Morgana mad at you?”

He lets out a long breath. He knows, he knows he really shouldn’t tell Arthur anything about this, but the wine is still dripping slowly off the bed, and he can’t bring himself to tell him anything but something genuine. He thinks that’s okay, just for right now.

“I never gave her a chance,” Merlin starts. “I think that’s what made her like this in the end. I was the only one she had, and I never —” He runs his hands through his hair, letting his fingers pull on the strands to feel the burn of it. The burn travels down to his eyes, and his tiredness again gives way to resigned anger, one that slowly peters out. “I never gave her a fucking chance, Arthur, not when it mattered. And I don’, I don’t even know what I could’ve done differently, but her hatred — it only started once I stopped giving her a chance. And now she’s alone with it.”

He wants to regret saying it, but he can’t, not right now. Still, he’s said too much, implied too much, and he expects Arthur to be angry, demanding, maybe even jokingly exasperated. Instead, Arthur stares at him, unnervingly calm. He feels that underneath the calm, a fire is waiting to burn him further. It’s more likely he’s just trying to piece together anything coherent from what he just said, but Merlin still feels like he is in the eye of the storm, ready to turn around and find debris hurtling straight for his neck. He can’t help the shake of his hands, though maybe that’s partly the drink.

Arthur worries his bottom lip as he continues to study him, head tilted; it was a look he grew when he was particularly deep in thought, and Merlin had had it pointed at him a few times, but never had Arthur been so open about it, usually cutting the act short when he realized that scrutinizing Merlin means showing he cares about Merlin. That Arthur isn’t doing so now worries him, and he opens his mouth, ready to say something even though there are so many residual emotions swirling around in him that he cannot fathom what he even can say, after all of that. Apparently, Arthur has an idea.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Merlin doesn’t blink, he doesn’t stare. He just sits with a tightness in his chest.

Arthur repeats it. “What happened to Morgana wasn’t your fault, Merlin.” He can’t think. Arthur can’t say that, not when he doesn’t know-

“You don’t— you can’t— “

Arthur interrupts him like the prat he was born to be. “Perhaps I don’t. Perhaps I know much less of you than I thought I did,” Merlin feels tightness anew at the sincerity in his voice, and Arthur continues on. “But what little I do know is that whoever’s hand guided Morgana’s hatred, it was not yours.”

He stands, shoulders straightening, before he offers a hand to Merlin. When he doesn’t take it, Arthur huffs and pulls him off the floor by his arm. In the back of his mind, Merlin thinks that it’s a rather rude thing to do, but he’s too preoccupied stupidly staring at Arthur to voice anything to that effect.

Arthur squeezes his arm just so before slinging it over his shoulder, apparently not trusting Merlin to walk on his own. “And I also know that sitting here rotting in drink isn’t going to help you any.”

Despite Merlin’s weak protests, he guides them out of Morgana’s chambers, raising a dismissive hand to any guards stationed in the halls. As they enter the hall leading to the physician’s quarters, Arthur slows, and Merlin finds himself staring at him with slightly more intelligence. He knows he probably needs to say something.

“Arthur—”

“Not tonight, Merlin,” he interrupts, and Merlin can feel Arthur’s neck tense beneath his arm. “But tomorrow, tomorrow I am sure we will find plenty to discuss.”

He releases Merlin, making sure he can stand on his own, before he walks away, taking whatever Merlin could have said with him.

As Merlin ignores Gaius’ exasperated questions and collapses onto his bed, he doesn’t think— cannot think of anything but Arthur’s back as he walked away from him.

#cystali writes #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #emrys #merlin fic #merlin fanfic #merther #?

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farieshades · 2 years ago

Note

🙂🙂

What do you think about the realtionship dynamics between Arthur and Merlin?

The relationship is friendship throughout the show, no matter what fandom (myself included) chooses to believe. But, they do love eachother, but whether that is brothers, friends, lovers, or otherwise specified is generally up to interpretation. There is a potential for Arthur to choose not to enter a relationship with Merlin due to his preconceived notions of needing a wife, perpetuated by his father and the court. Maybe it was Merlin ‘rejecting’ a love interest that he couldn’t show his whole self too. Either way, the show doesn’t have them as lovers, so I’m basing this response off friendship generally.

The two of them are powerful, in their own ways, but Merlin is trapped in his destiny and Arthur might kill him if he knew the truth. [Though it is my belief that Merlin can’t die as evident from the last scene of the series, nevertheless, I doubt Merlin would like to try.]

Through Season 1 we start the relationship with Arthur showing a trusting and honest visage in believing the word of a servant who he’s just met against that of another knight, and then instantly defying his father (Treasonous to disobey the word of the King) to save said servant. Then, the habit of saving eachother starts to become a normal progression through the episodes.

But let’s backtrack for a moment, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The show doesn't start with them as friends. Rather the opposite in fact. The quickest enemies-to-lovers I can think of probably. But, we meet Arthur picking on a servant, acting as a bully until Merlin calls him off with a very... well we know the scene. Iconic.

Nevertheless, Merlin is quickly tossed in jail.

Our boy came into Camelot with fists flying not caring who they hit honestly.

Then, Helen of Mora and the sleep song that knocked everyone out where they stood except for Merlin not even being the slightest affected, and, notably, saving Arthur. This then starts where the friendship grows from, not quickly, likely, as they are still strangers for a long while, but now they're strangers who are relying on eachother.

Arthur relies on Merlin not to get him killed, trusts him to get his armour done (despite Merlin never having dones such a thing), relies on his food not being poisoned, relies on a lot of little things that probably seem inconsiquential until they don't actually get done and suddenly nothing works (cue a flashforward to the disheveled Arthur trying to find Merlin season 4).

Episode 7 stands out, when Merlin is, probably literally, sticking his neck out lying to the King at Arthur's request, though bewitched as Arthur probably doesn't care either way.

"You're not merely a warrior, you're a prince - a future king. You've proved your courage, but you must prove your wisdom" from episode 9, shows Merlin has come to know who Arthur is beneath the exterior of a bully that's slowly fading away, something that Gwen or Morgana comments on at some point though for the life of me I can't remember when.

The end of Season 1 shows the relationship as strong, Arthur's still somewhat clueless as to who Merlin is (as he really does remain through the entirey of the series), but Merlin and thus the audience, has a pretty good grasp on Arthur. The friendship only grows over the next two seasons.

Through Season 2, from the limited knowledge Arthur has, when he scolds Merlin, there’s a legitimate reason for it, which is a theme through the season and onwards. Gaius says he’s skiving off work and in the taverns? Merlin’s just gone with no explanation for a few days comes back looking beat up and swaying, easily could have been a tavern brawl and drunkenness rather than bone-tired and potential blood loss.

However, that first episode with Sigan completely wiped Arthur’s characterization from Season 1. This does fix itself (although this is the season with the wonderful Troll Stepmother whom Arthur wasn’t listening to again), with Aredian, Kilgharrah, and their talks about Gwen, episode 9 with the hunter who captured Freya saying he trusted Merlin (despite instantly after seeing stolen food which he shakes his head at). The trust is still there, it’s just swaying back and forth wildly like a monkey stranded on a vine.

This is evident in the very first episode here with Cedric usurping Merlin's position and subsequentially being possessed by Sigan. However, Arthur in this season is relying on Merlin more, sneaking him out of the castle, sneaking him into the castle, sneaking Merlin out of the castle in the 'wooing' schemes.

The problem happening in the season in regards to the relationship, is Arthur's belief of courtly values and stations. "She can't be your friend, let alone anything else." He may be saying this to Merlin about Morgana, but he's also referring Gwen to himself, then he'll go and treat Merlin like a friend (that he is), then deny that there is friendship between them (notably Balinor's episode and episode 6's end of not-hug).

Then not long after denying friendship, episode 6 happens and Arthur doesn't arrest Merlin. The patterns of friendship continue as Arthur regularly breaks laws and orders for Merlin's comfort (Gaius in episode 7 notably).

We also get an interesting scene of 'acceptance' in episode 9 with the wonderful dress scene in that “As long as you do a decent day's work Merlin, that’s all I care about [...] what a man does in his spare time is completely up to him. [...] The colour suits you, Merlin!” Now, it's unclear what any LGBTQ status characters are dealing with in Merlin as they're not mentioned, but it wouldn't be a stone throw from assuming 'not good' with how much magic can be seen as an allusion for queerness (in Morgana's quote in season 3 specifically, or in the druid scene). This is just a layer of acceptance that Arthur is showing with regards to, from Arthur's perspective, Merlin being a cross-dresser (which probably didn't help when Gwen found him going through jewlery. The King and Queen giving him a nice dress is now suddenly in my head and Merlin just does not know how to decline that).

Then, a few episodes later we find Balinor we get an annoying "I know I'm a prince, so we can't be friends, but if I wasn't a prince[...] well then, I think we'd probably get on." Arthur sees a status imbalance with him as the problem, that he is a prince. Not that Merlin is a servant. And so we end seaosn 2 with not-quite-equals but unrecognized-verbally-friends.

Through Season 3 we finally start getting to see more equality between the two show up through the season. Arthur is growing as a person, seeing servants as equals rather than as before when he thought that couldn't be possible. We also get Arthur understanding layers of Merlin somewhat, as evident in episode 2 "There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of – I don’t know what it is – I want to say...It’s not wisdom. But yes, that’s what it is. Don’t look so pleased the rest of the time you’re a complete idiot" which was in response to Arthur who will one day be a great king.

Now, this season also introduces the knights (barring Lancelot from season 1 and Leon from season 2), and Arthur is gaining friends that are changing his worldview (in particular Gwaine and his flirtatious nature with Gwen provoking a surge of what one may call protection or jealousy in Arthur).

At the end of the season, we get the fun 'Cup of Life' debacle in which Arthur trusts only Merlin to aid with the retrieval, and when they sneak back into the castle to meet up with Gwaine and Elyan with Arthur injured, Merlin takes charge making things run smoothly in the escape. Then, finally, the round table of ancient kings, and placing strangers who aided him (Percival), common-born (to-be) knights, and servants (Gwen and Merlin) around the table with him. I think the only actual nobles there were Leon and Gwaine aside from Arthur, which is uite the big step to equality that is a basis behind the Arthurian legend to begin with, something that was missing, but steadily growing, in the first two seasons.

The very end of season 3 we get the joking scene of cleaning Arthur's boots, put on as an act rather than an order, evident by the joking manner it is said in. This scene also shows the audience a hint of what the future holds for their friendship.

Now in this season, we also get a wonderful commentary from January 2, 2021, 12:45PM - @Im-an-assbutt, in the "Merlin is Arthur's Mistress" idea. No idea where the idea originated from, and google hates me trying to figure out what "Mistress treatment" actually is, so i'm going to accept this at face value.

When Season 4 starts, we see Merlin in the role as an advisor, or, partially. He's writing speeches, helping with government things. And instantly the audience can see the dynamic between them as the Dorocha are released and attacking Camelot.

Now, I know the fainting scene gets lots of backlash from Arthur seemingly rolling his eyes at the display and Lancelot rushing to help, however, as someone who does faint often Old friends just kinda let me lay there while new friends freak out, and strangers on the street unfortunately like to call for assistance. So, to me it never struck me as peculiar to see, but that’s my two cents into that.

Now, quickly the group goes onto the fun Dorocha quest and we get some fun whump Merlin scenes in which Arthur nearly calls of the quest to save the entire Kingdom because Merlin was injured (by something that no mortal had ever survived but that's probably besides the point I'm sure). Not long after Merlin returns hale, the audeince gets to learn Arthur is deciding to sacrifice himself, refusing to let Merlin do so and even (deleted scene) handing him his mother's sigil, which, at the time, is basically marking Merlin as heir to Camelot, or at the very least, heir to Arthur. Suddenly understandable why this isn't kept in, but whatever, it's true in my heart.

Now quite quickly after all this, Uther is killed (in Arthur's perspective by Magic), and Arthur blames magic calling it 'pure evil' and something he should never have trusted in to merlin's face, and yet, Arthur leaves the great hall after a night of mourning to find Merlin having been sitting outside all night. The friendship is still there, nonetheless, in fact, that's one of the things Arthur quickly reaffirms "You are a loyal friend, Merlin."

But, now, Arthur takes the throne, with his uncle Aggravating whispering into his ear false beliefs of worth and general bullshit, and starts pushing people away (episode 5 "stick to what you know" when Merlin tried to talk to him about the issues happening reinforced later by "I don't need anyone. I can't afford that luxury.") And it's a toxic mindset to be sure, but his only rolemodle of a King growing up was a widowed man who was paranoid about everything who was a tyrant to his people and had no true friends... that's a terrible Role Modle, Arthur, please, go read a book about the Roman Empire, preferably not Nero or Caligula.

Anyway, as the season progresses, we get introduced to George who Merlin definitely knows as he's practically running Camelot behind the scenes, but this shows Arthurs reluctance to get a new servant. Merlin in his position serves as a confidant, a friend, and an advisor. He doesn't want him replaced.

It's not without problems, sure, but it wouldn't be interesting if it was. The end of the season however, throws the nearly-invisible-now imbalance into Merlin's favour as he strips Arthur of his 'will', this doesn't last however. Yet, the ending of the season also further strengthens Merlin's resolve to never tell Arthur because if there is one thing obvious, Arthur hates being betrayed and secrets, and the subterfuge Merlin used to conceal his magic would easily be seen as a betrayal, something Agravaine tells the audience in their confrontation.

With Season 5, the first thing we should note is the existing time gap between S4 and S5 that is the time of mystery and when anything under the sun could have happened as we generaly have no bloody idea outside of Kidnapped!Morgana. But, with regard to the fun dynamics going on, Merlin retains the position he was appointed to in the first episode, that of Manservant I mean, but he is also Arthurs most trusted advisor and confidant, a long way from where they began.

But then, this season decides to do the magic reveal (at the last episode area which is very annoying but alrighty), and flips that on its head. But we'll get there in a moment.

We see the two arguing 'like an old married couple' within the first part of the season, the iconic "Is there anything you're actually capable of doing?" / "Putting up with you", an argument that would never happen between a King and any servant (barring Merlin, who is just as wild as he was when he showed up in camelot with fists swinging, it's just been tamed into a focus now).

There is also more of Merlin confiding in Arthur through season 5, there is understanding, there is trust, and there is, overwhelmingly, friendship.

When the Horn of Cathbhadh arrives on the scene, we get the very interesting scenario with the apple bowl. Now, there's no reason for Arthur to need to hide something from Merlin as he enters. And yet he does, knowing that Merlin will give him that Merlin-look and he'll need to explain himself. This, of course, ends with Uther haunting Camelot, great for all involved really.

But let's move on.

The season also has some of the worst decisions Merlin makes, but he does make them under faulty knowledge and mistrust and paranoia, such as the Disir. Not only would his advice as an advisor be horribly biased in the episode, but he held the knowledge that 1) Mordred is the problem 2) To save Mordred you must accept magic - therefore the only conclusion is Let Mordred Die by Refusing Magic. Really bad wording on that if I'm honest, but I suppose Mordred did die when Arthur refused Magic, just not instantly.

Eventually, we get to a heartwrenching scene "You know, Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward, I never really meant any of them. I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. I guess I was wrong", which is absolute bullshit. Fuck Arthur for this sentence in particular.

The next time they truly talk in episode 13:

"I defeated the Saxons, the dragon, and yet I knew that it was Mordred that I must stop. / The person who defeated them was the sorcerer. / That was me. / Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin. That’s stupid. Why would you say that? / I’m a sorcerer. I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur, only for you. / Merlin, you are not a sorcerer, I would know! / Look, here ~Magic occurs~ / Leave me."

Really, truelly, awful way to start the end of the series, but at least we finally got a magic reveal. But at the same time, the reaction would have been similar regardless. Arthur trusts people easily and completely, Merlin more than anyone else, and to learn that there was something hidden from him is taken as an instant betrayal, something that would have happened no matter when the reveal occured (Though S1-3 there's danger of execution from Uther, then Arthur never actually is seen removing the laws anyway so.... Arthur what the fuck do you want from Merlin?? When would the opportune moment ever be for this?)

Now, it's clear that Arthur still trusts Merlin after this, as he tries to get Gaius to send Merlin to Gwen. He'd never do that if that trust vanished, not to his wife and Queen. However, Gaius does turn Arthur's views, he tells him Merlin is the greatest sorcerer to walk the earth, and Arthur completely balks at the idea, after all, he knows Merlin. Maybe not completely, but you don't spend 9 years day-in and day-out at someone's side and not know them.

Arthur reacts negatively to Merlin dispatching Saxons with a wave of his hand, because that shatters the image that Arthur had of Merlin being someone Arthur needed to protect, someone who wouldn’t/couldn’t hurt a fly, someone who was incapable of harm. [Now I swear there was a fanfic I read that had the reveal and Arthur having a "oh no I'm gay" reveal himself after that but I can't for the life of me remember it, Gaius in this was completely exhasperated like "sir, you're not enchanted, your pining"].

But, continuing on to the last moments, more or less, we also get "So you’re not an idiot, that was another lie. / No, it’s just another part of my charm." Which really is true. Merlin is still an idiot, which at this point is practically just a character trait for him. A powerful, somewhat scary idiot, but still a brave one. Still probably tripping over his own feet and dropping things.

The last thing I wanted to touch on in Season five was Arthurs last words. "I want to say something I’ve never said to you before. Thank you." Thank you had been said multiple times, but never to the level that it needed to be. But now, Arthur knows what he was thanking him for, giving him credit for all the things Merlin sacrificed and did. [Now again, commentary on this has people suspecting Arthur says “I Love You” which is potentially debatable, but the words aren’t actually there, so we’re going with “thank you”]

From what may be Arthur’s view of the entire series (which reiterates some of the above), there are numerous times when Arthur disrespected Merlin (Sigan and the Merlin stepping stool, trusting some random family member you haven’t seen in years vs a man who has been at your side for years), but Merlin still considered Arthur his best friend.

To Arthur, this relationship starts as Prince and Manservant (Or before that, Prince and Peasantry), but this quickly devolves because Merlin refuses to act like a Manservant. He’s a friend, stubbornly loyal, shit at obeying orders, and brave as fuck. They share secrets (somewhat common with Manservants I can imagine as Lady’s in Waiting were in a similar position and were held as being confidants to their Lord/Lady… Theoretically, this would be a Lord-in-waiting or perhaps another role, but none of this is ever mentioned in Merlin and insofar as Medieval heirarchy and households go, BBC Merlin doesn't dwell on that 'under the stairs' stuff.) Nevertheless, there is a separation of class and a known power imbalance from the get go as Master and Servant, but Arthur still saw it as more equal than he is shown to behave with the servant in the first episode.

Arthur eventually realizes that Merlin is constantly going above and beyond what should be expected of a normal servant, especially from the view that Merlin can leave anytime.’ He is under employ of the King, but he was also working two jobs (Manservant and Physician) and Merlin could very well up and leave back to Ealdor should he choose. But in his perspective, Arthur protects Merlin, pushing him away from conflict and throwing himself ahead of Merlin to protect him (nicely moving away from Merlin’s glowing gold eyes as branches fall), then instantly looking for Merlin after the battle ends (usually scoffing about hiding despite Merlin having no armour or weapon on patrol). This part doesn’t quite change, not until the last few episodes as the above states.

Now, in Merlin’s view of the series, that we mostly see the lens of, there are times when it feels like the reason Merlin hasn’t left Camelot was because of the Prophecy of an aged Dragon giving him the feeling of obligation to Camelot, Magical People, and Arthur’s safety. Thus, this is his destiny, he doesn’t have a choice to leave (in his way of thinking at least), and while he keeps the secrets of Arthur, there is no way for Arthur to do the same to him, because Arthur is Prince/King of a kingdom that kills people like Merlin.

He can’t defend himself, not with magic at the very least, should Arthur physically move to hurt him. Not only would this be near treasounous, but it would have him ostracised by the Kingdom, potentially exiled if not killed and it really would hurt the attempts of promoting good magic (which the show doesnt do anyway). Also, Arthur is Merlin’s only hope at a future away from persecution, and hope is a disease that clings on. Merlin makes choices to keep Arthur alive that actively hurt the people that ‘Emrys’ should protect. So in Merlin's view, there are a lot of red flags going around that are being ignored.

And then, the bloody idiot Prince/King goes and Risks his Life to protect Merlin. To be fair, Merlin does the same, but really, please, stop risking your life and war, you're just going to give Merlin a heart attack at some point.

One of the biggest imbalances that we get to see, from Merlin’s pov, is the secret imbalance. Arthur confides everything to Merlin, whereas Merlin’s secrets build up drastically as the seasons continue and he gets more secrets to hide.

Tldr; Their relationship is, considering the era represented, overwhelmingly positive [if we ignore the ptsd Merlin is going to be dealing with for the next 1500 years]. There are toxic traits that exist on both sides of the men that cause imbalances in any type of relationship one would have, but there isn’t any ‘equal’ characters that would exist for them presented (Prince of Camelot to any other Prince is never shown, only princesses / and Greatest Warlock to Walk the Earth doesn’t exactly have any equals).

#merlin emrys #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin and arthur #merthur #the adventures of merlin #relationship dynamics #analysis

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friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn · 3 years ago

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so I'm watching merlin again rn (I don't think I've watched anything else for a week straight) and uh, it's been two episodes and I've barely seen gwaine and I feel the dire need to complain about that. like sure sure arthur's king now wonderful show me gwaine for longer than two seconds please. so for the sake of getting any gwaine content today, hello, I have come here, and I'm asking you for some gwaine headcanons! what would it be like to date him? specifically before he became a knight of camelot? say, like, before the end of season three? because once I've watched further I absolutely will come back and beg you for some dating sir gwaine headcanons but that'll probably have to wait until I at least finished season four

Ooh yes absolutely!!

You definitely met in some roadside tavern, when you saved his ass after he got himself in over his head in yet another bar fight.

Gwaine is charming, but none of that worked with you. You just saw him as the idiot from the tavern who thought he could handle a dozen men coming at him at once.

But while Gwaine is very respectful of boundaries (as we see when he’s with Gwen), he doesn’t leave you alone.

Claims the road is a dangerous place to be on your own. When you point out that he’s also alone, he just says “not anymore, I’m with you, aren’t I?”

And that? That playful smile as he says that? You feel something change between the two of you, like the ice has finally been broken.

But it’s more than that. In hindsight, you know that was the moment you fell in love with him.

So from then on, neither of you ever has to be alone again. You travel together, whichever the way wind blows, or chasing the sunset all the way down to the sea.

It’s not always easy, life on the road, but with Gwaine walking next to you, it’s comfortable.

For all the non-stop talking Gwaine did those first two days, you quickly learn that he enjoys silence just as much. He likes hearing the world around him; likes hearing the wind in the trees and the squirrels in the bushes and your footsteps next to his own.

He takes you to meet his mother and sister once, which is when you learn that Gwaine is actually from noble heritage. You don’t bring it up, knowing he’ll explain in his own time, and he does so the next day, when you’re back on the road.

Gwaine is a hopeless romantic, and so was the way he asked you out.

You’d been staying at an inn, where Gwaine had insisted you took the bed -you weren’t opposed to sharing, but this one really was just too narrow to fit 2 people- while he slept on the floor. But unbeknownst to you, there was an ulterior motive to his altruism.

He’d been in this area before, and he happened to know a beautiful clearing by a waterfall. He set it up in the middle of the night, leaving the second you had fallen asleep, and barely made it back before you woke up.

It was a warm, sunny day and neither of you were ever in a hurry, so Gwaine made sure you took your time walking back there.

You noticed he was nervous; he wasn’t as talkative, but he also didn’t seem to enjoy the silence like he usually did. Even when you reached the clearing, a colourful field of wildflowers greeting you, it didn’t immediately make sense.

He’d put a blanket down, set up some food and drinks in the shade of the trees, didn’t sleep all night just to get this done. It was a nice surprise, a lovely one, even though you weren’t sure why.

But it didn’t really make sense until he asked you out, right when the sun hit the top of the waterfall, golden evening light filling the air.

And there’s no one around, but even if there were, you’d still react the same way: by grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer so you could kiss him.

You stay up that whole night, talking and looking at the stars and making up stories for them, and you spend the whole next day there too, catching up on sleep or swimming in the river.

You can’t get married, unable to pay an official, but neither of you cares. At some point, Gwaine comes up to you with two wooden rings, woven from branches of a willow tree (a symbol of love in Celtic belief), and you both consider that more important than anything an official, a stranger, could have to say about you being together.

There’s many, many more bar fights, but the two of you fight like a well-oiled machine. Even after all this time, Gwaine is still in awe whenever he sees you take up a blade or throw a punch. He can get a little distracted by it, which means you probably have to save his ass again. And when you mockingly scold him afterwards, he laughs and says “just like old times, love”.

And then, for once, it’s not Gwaine stirring up trouble in a tavern. No, this time it’s the prince of Camelot.

This got out of hand, so I’m going to leave at this, but I hope you liked this <3

#merlin #merlin headcanons #bbc merlin #bbc merlin headcanons #gwaine #headcanons #gwaine headcanons #dating headcanons #reader insert

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botanicallyinclinednerd · 4 years ago

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Moments that highlight Merlin and Gwaine’s dynamic:

3x04: Gwaine's first words directly to Merlin are "pass the jug" which Merlin does and he just stares as Gwaine drinks from it and punches a guy in the face with no problem.

3x04: Gwaine flirting asking Merlin for his name and introducing himself to Merlin in the middle of a bar fight (that he threw the first punch of because he saw Arthur and Merlin had gotten themselves into a predicament). Merlin is completely baffled by this man that bashed someone over the head with a pitcher of alcohol, commented on the waste of alcohol, and threw himself back into the thick of the fight with a flip of his hair

3x04: Merlin has no idea how to react to Gwaine and his attitude towards nobles or his reason for helping them in the tavern being due to their slim odds of winning

3x04: Merlin’s stunned exasperation at Gwaine’s bar tab

3x04: Drunk Gwaine telling Merlin as he helps him up the stairs to his bed, "You're the best friend I've ever had" and Merlin replying "you seem to have quite a few" and laughing at Gwaine’s drunken laughter. They then exchange bits of their tragic backstories. Gwaines laughter at hitting his head against the wall sets Merlin off again, laughing at Gwaine’s antics.

3x04: the conversation about fathers while cleaning the boots. If I'm not mistaken, Gwaine is the only person, Gaius aside, that Merlin ever talked to about Balinor after having briefly met him.

3x04: Gwaine getting concerned when Merlin doesn't come back quickly and going to find him. Gwaine asking Merlin if he's okay and upon getting a "no" from Merlin, readily fighting the two "knights" to protect Merlin

3x04: Merlin apologizing for Gwaine getting banished and when Gwaine brushes it off and says "People get sick of me too quickly" Merlin quickly replies "I didn't" and Gwaine seems surprised by this: "After the trouble I caused?" And he laughs at Merlins response "you livened the place up." Gwaine gives Merlin a pat on the shoulder and a smile/nod in farewell.

3x04: Merlin grinning as he recognizes Gwaine’s disarming maneuver on one if the thug knights.

3x04: Merlin expressing concern at Gwaine saying he might go to Mercia. Merlin proceeds to try to convince Gwaine to stay. Like the first time in the episode Gwaine says good bye, Gwaine claps Merlin on the shoulder and gives him a nod and a smile. It also looks like he winks at Merlin as well this time.

3x08: Merlin grinning when he greets Gwaine when he finds him in a bar brawl. Gwaine looks and sounds delighted to see Merlin, grinning back. Ignores the fight to greet Merlin, the shot changing to show Gwaine with his arm around Merlin shoulders

3x08:The whole escape scene is amazing, the music adding to the hilarity. Gwaine, like any good friend, shrugging and pushing Merlin off the wall into the hay bellow

3x08: Them laughing over Merlin searching every tavern in Angard for Gwaine and Gwaine replying he'd be in all of them

3x08: Campfire scene in the Perilous lands. Merlin asks Gwaine why he wants to help and Gwaine responds "Same reason as you. To help a friend," and when Merlin says "Arthur is lucky to have us" Gwaine replies "Not Arthur," while looking at merlin with this look on his face and giving Merlin a tiny smile. Merlin responds "I'd do the same for you," "I'd hope so. You're the only friend I've got." Merlin raises his eyebrows at that "I'm not surprised" and they both laugh

3x08: Gwaine pushing Merlin into the room out of the way of the descending stone wall

3x08: Gwaine pulling Merlin into a hug when they find Merlin unharmed in the room. Its a very bro-y hug with back slaps

3x08: Merlin smiles at Gwaine and thanks him for his help as they part ways at the border.

3x12: Gwaine started moving towards Merlin and Arthur after he heard Merlin’s voice, meaning he recognized it. Merlin is delighted to see Gwaine, grinning widely. Gwaine calls Merlin "old friend" and puts his hands on Merlin's shoulders

3x12: Merlin telling Gwaine what their quest is and Arthur getting annoyed because it was a secret and Merlins response is "Its Gwaine!"

3x12: The fire wood bit where Gwaine messes with Merlin and Merlin doesn't realize it. "Merlin, don't you know when someone's joking with you?" Merlin laughs. Gwaine then makes a quip about his reputation and winks at Merlin

3x13: Gwaine asks Merlin if he's alright, comments that it looked like Merlin had seen a ghost

4x01: when Merlin spots Gwaine and Percival chicken fishing from the grate, Gwaine puts a finger to his lips with a grin. Merlin is amused by their antics

4x02: Gwaine gives Merlin a hug when he rejoins them before the Isle of the Blessed

4x04: Gwaine compliments Merlin on the stew and thanks him while putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder

4x04: the poisoned stew scene, Gwaine obnoxiously eats over Merlin shoulder and pats Merlin on the shoulder while Merlin is probably plotting his revenge against all 5 of them

4x06: Gwaine goes with Arthur to find Merlin and he talks up Merlin to Arthur. Can be inferred that Gwaine is indirectly telling Arthur to praise Merlin more. Gwaine can be seen grinning in the background when he and Arthur find Merlin

4x06: Gwaine calls Merlin "bog man" and looks hurt when Merlin refuses to let him snag any of the food and snaps at him.

4x06: Old man Merlin antagonizing Gwaine, alluding to his nobility without actually saying it. Merlin’s motivations behind this taunt are unclear

4x07: Gwaine is waiting for Merlin in Gaius’s chambers to check on him. Merlin is not happy to see him and is at first rather snappy. Gwaine seems a bit hurt by Merlin's dismissal, but he still lets Merlin know he's there to help him. Gwaine goes with Merlin to find Gaius

4x07 deleted scene: Gwaine and Merlin stop to eat around a fire. Gwaine assures Merlin that they will find Gaius and Merlin thanks him for the help. Merlin promises to return the favor one day and Gwaine makes a joke about Merlin maybe regretting that considering all the trouble he gets into. They laugh and then have a short heart to heart about fathers. (This scene can be found on YouTube under Merlin "4x07 deleted scenes")

4x07: when Gwaine is knocked to the ground by his opponent, Merlin used magic to knock him off his feet and he ended up landing on Gwaine. Gwaine is staring up at Merlin with wide eyes. Merlin helps Gwaine to his feet

4x07: Gwaine looks very displeased when Merlin tells Gwaine not to wait for him if he finds Gaius. Gwaine ends up trying to go looking for Merlin anyways but is talked out of it by Agravaine (btw Gwaine looks like he wants so badly to stab Agravaine in that scene on multiple occasions and I think its a shame that he didn't)

4x08: The fishing pole interaction in the night. The light banter

4x08: if you watch Gwaine in the background of the scene where Leon goes off on Merlin and calls him "nothing but a servant" you can see Gwaine looking livid and a muscle jumps in his jaw. The next scene when he shoves into Leon he asks Leon "why don’t you mind your damn tongue?" Which doesn't connect to Leon telling Gwaine to mind where he's going. It does however connect to Leon yelling at Merlin.

4x10: Gwaine scaring Merlin in the shrine by suddenly grabbing his shoulder and whispering "boo"

4x10: Gwaine giving Merlin a pouch of salt as protection against spirits and telling him if it didn't work, gaius could use it as seasoning. Merlin isn't amused by that

4x12: Gwaine pulls Merlin back and tells him they had no time to argue, Merlin needed to go.

5x02: Merlin smiles when he sees Gwaine alive

5x04: Gwaine is concerned for Merlin when he’s found unconscious, helping Percival lay him down and sitting by Merlin's head with his hands on Merlin's shoulders. He expresses concern to Gaius when Merlin takes too long to wake up

5x04: Gwaine is delighted to see Merlin awake and definitely goes in for a hug which Merlin derails by putting his hands on Gwaine’s shoulders and moving away before Gwaine can hug him. In the background Gwaine does a little smirk and head shake and Merlin back to his normal self

5x04: Before Merlin goes off to find Arthur, Gwaine stops him with a hand on his shoulder, wishing him luck

5x07: Merlin’s conversation with Gwaine about his suspicion that Arthur was not safe in Camelot. Gwaine promises Merlin that he will stick close to Arthur to protect him. He gives merlin his word.

5x07: connecting to the point above: Gwaine goes to check on Gwen when they lost the "intruder" if you really over analyze this scene and the scene in the courtyard, you could come to the conclusion that Gwaine is aware Merlin is in the room. His eyes keep darting to the corner where Merlin is and in fact its Gwaine looking in that direction that tips Gaius off to Merlin in that corner. When the previous point is taken into account, it is doubtful that Gwaine would have left Arthur unless he had reason to believe he was in more danger if he stayed than if he went with Gwen. But this is conjecture on my part and just what I took away from these scenes.

5x07: Gwaine smiles kindly at Merlin when he’s let out of the cells

5x11: Gwaine chuckling and commenting that Merlin had caught something on the hunting trip too (a cold)

5x11: Gwaine asking Merlin what was wrong after he and Leon encounter Mordred threatening Merlin in the hallway. Gwaine looks slightly concerned, especially after Merlin brushes it off and claims it was nothing.

5x12: Gwaine’s confidence in Merlins healing ability: "don't worry, Merlin knows what he’s doing"

5x12: Gwaine going with "my friend Merlin" to the crystal caves. That Merlin chose Gwaine speaks to his trust in him, and that he agreed readily speaks to Gwaine’s friendship to Merlin

5x12: Gwaine thanking Merlin for helping Eria, Merlin implying that Gwaine likes her, light teasing

5x12: Merlin lying defenseless on the ground and screaming for Gwaine, sounding absolutely petrified. Gwaine was already moving to Merlin before he yelled, as he noticed when Merlin went down. Gwaine asks him if he's okay and holds a hand out to help Merlin to his feet. Merlin thanks him and Gwaine replies, while clapping a hand on Merlin’s shoulder "No need to thank me Merlin. It was the least I could do."

5x12: Gwaine is taken aback when Merlin tells him that he will go the rest of the way on his own. Gwaine is concerned for Merlin’s safety. When Gwaine asks what Merlin is looking for, Merlin has a conflicted look on his face before he ultimately replies "I can't tell you that Gwaine. You'll just have to trust me" and Gwaine obviously does, as he does not push or protest and he gives a tiny nod of understanding.

5x12: Gwaine tells Merlin "Look after yourself Merlin" and gives Merlin his sword, making a joke about Merlin knowing how to use the sharp end that makes them both chuckle. When the shot shows Gwaine again, his eyes are filling with tears. They firmly grasp each other's arm in farewell

5x12: Gwaine tells Merlin "I hope you find what you're looking for" to which Merlin grins broadly at Gwaine and Gwaine smiles back, though it quickly fades as the tears in his eyes get more prominent and he actively looks like he's trying not to cry. Gwaine looks like he doesn't expect to see Merlin again. And he's right. "I hope you find what you're looking for" are Gwaine’s last words to Merlin.

Also: for the fucking record, the music playing in their final scene makes it so much more heart breaking. It starts off quieter and slow and at the end, at their goodbye, it swells and just has a feeling of finality to it without there being a proper ending.

#merlin #bbc merlin #sir gwaine #gwaine #character dynamics #merwaine #platonic or romantic however you choose to interpret it #as predicted i cried during diamond of the day which i got over with first #long post #i dont usually include deleted scenes but this was one that stuck with me and i liked it so i included it #liv talks merlin

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phantomchick · 4 years ago

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Merlin fic rec list

To Be A King by clotpolesonly Teen And Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Merlin and Arthur, Merlin and Mordred, Gwen/Arthur, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Merlin's Magic Revealed, Canonical Character Death, BAMF Merlin, Dragonlord Merlin, Original setting, Magical kingdom, King Merlin, Royal!Merlin Summary: When Merlin discovers that his father was an estranged prince and he himself is now the only heir to the throne of a magical kingdom, he is forced to leave Camelot for the perils of a royal court. Will Merlin be able to win Arthur's favor again before Morgana launches an attack on a defenseless Camelot? Will he be able to defend his own kingdom at the same time or will all be lost? -

A Matter of Sovereignty by Kizmet Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply, Friendship Summary A visiting prince takes it into his head to brutalize Merlin, but sometimes the solution to a problem is in how you phrase it.

Bumps and Bruises by platonic_boner merthur, implied/suspected abuse, Protective Arthur, Magic Revealed, pre-relationship, teen an up, canon typical violence,

Summary: Arthur notices Merlin’s constant injuries, and decides he needs to step in and protect Merlin.

Finding Home by riventhorn Arthur/Merlin, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Written for a kinkme_merlin prompt. When Gaius retires a new physician takes over and quickly kicks Merlin out of his room and takes it for himself. Arthur finds Merlin sleeping in the stables...and it's winter.

How To Love A Living Thing by Polomonkey Mature, merthur, Merlin/Arthur, Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Drowning, Guilt, Romance, Protective Arthur, Mild Sexual Content, Redemption, Healing, Canon Era

Summary Guilt ridden and lonely after his confrontation with Nimueh, Merlin slowly begins to isolate himself from Arthur. When two knights take it upon themselves to teach him his place, Merlin finds himself with nowhere to turn. Will he be able to reach out to his prince before it's too late?

Obeisance by casspeach Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: It's not that Arthur won't share his toys, just that he expects to get them back undamaged

All's Well That Ends Well by StormDancer explicit, Merlin/Arthur, Arthur Finds Out, magic reveal Summary: Merlin spent the week and a half that Arthur was gone splitting his time between crafting careful explanations that never ended up explaining the important things, the things that would make Arthur listen, and making half-baked plans to escape to Ealdor. He found a number of fire-proofing spells that would have no effect if they decided to cut his head off, and figured out how to adapt an invulnerability spell he had been trying to find a way to cast on Arthur without him noticing so that it would protect him from being decapitated, but it would have no effect on anything but metal. Despite all his frantic searching, he did not find a teleportation spell, because that would have been too simple and if there was one thing Merlin had learned in his years at Camelot, it was that nothing was ever simple.

Deeds by the5leggedCricket Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Episode Related, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon, Teen and Up,

Summary: Arthur is coming of age, and that means he’s about to get Deeds—marks on his body telling him of his soulmate’s greatest accomplishments. But as he tries to find his soulmate, he also makes some worrying discoveries about the kind of person his soulmate is.

Honorable Intentions by smilebackwards Gwaine/Merlin, Guinevere/Arthur Pendragon, Courtship, Protectiveness, Protective!Arthur, Teen and Up, Summary: There are several considerations Arthur would like to go over, starting with the state of Merlin's virtue.

Laundry's Hard Work by supercalvin Gen, Teen and Up, Canon Era, can be read as pre-slash, BAMF Merlin

Summary: Wasn't Merlin supposed to be...tiny? When the hell had he learned to use a sword and not fall on his backside? Where the hell did those scars from? What the hell?

or Arthur still thinks Merlin is the young boy he met ten years ago and he starts to notice things in his manservant that he wasn't aware had changed at all.

Fathom Me Out by supercalvin Merlin/Arthur, Canon Era, Magic Revealed, Teen and up,

Summary: After ten years, Arthur thinks he has Merlin all figured out. But as he watches Merlin, he finds out that he has more questions than answers. The longer he thinks about it, the more uneasy he feels. So he pushes it aside. Except, he can no longer ignore the questions he has about Merlin. Not your everyday reveal!fic

Loyalty Before Royalty by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, Gwen & Merlin, Arthur and Merlin being the most iconic duo? I think tf not, Gwen and Merlin wreaking havoc? Teaming up against Arthur? That's the most iconic duo there, as usual, Explicit Language, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Arthur is so exasperated, someone help him, good thing he loves them both

Summary: "Where did you get that?" Arthur asked, but he already knew the answer. "Gwen." "...and the horse?" "Gwen." "What about the-" "Gwen." Merlin interrupted. Arthur nodded. At this point, he wasn't sure why he even bothered to ask. He was pretty certain his wife was going to knight Merlin any day now.He looked Merlin up and down for a few moments before accepting it all with a sigh. "As long as you get my armor to me tomorrow...I don't care." He finally said, turning away. Merlin cleared his throat. "Gwen gave me tomorrow off." "For the love of God." Or I hate that Gwen and Merlin's friendship kind of withered away in the later seasons so here's a oneshot about her and Merlin abusing her new royal powers because that's what happens when your best friend becomes queen.

Know It All Knight by Shi_Toyu Leon & Merlin, Knights of the Round Table, Magic Revealed, protective leon, Arthur Finds Out, Oblivious Arthur

Summary: Leon couldn’t say for sure when the exact moment was that he figured out Merlin had magic. He’d suspected it for a little while, to be honest. He definitely had it figured out by the time Arthur managed to ‘kill’ the Great Dragon. What Leon could say for sure was the exact moment he figured out that no one else had figured out Merlin had magic.

The Nature of Trust by Lynds Merlin's Magic Revealed, Leon is the Mam Friend, Leon is so done, Protective Gwaine, Lancelot Lives, Canon Era, Arthur Finds Out, Hurt Merlin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, reference to hunting and cooking animals Summary: Leon starts to notice that the knights, one by one, are starting to trust Merlin's judgement. That he keeps warning Arthur about danger, and being right. Is there more to Merlin than meets the eye?

Repercussions by PeaceHeather Fix-It of Sorts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Lecture, Rants, Episode: s02e06 Beauty and the Beast, Episode: s02e05 Beauty and the Beast, Canon Era, One Shot, Gen Summary: Uther married a troll. In canon, that all worked out fine eventually. In this slight canon divergence, there is at least one noble who's not willing to let it slide so easily.

No Harm Will Come to You Here by fancyh Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Season/Series 05, Merlin's Magic Revealed, Fluff and Angst, temporary amnesia, teen and up,

Summary: "That was magic," Arthur accuses.

"Oh." Merlin just nods, looking unperturbed.

Arthur fights to keep his expression calm, mind racing and heart pounding. "Sorcery is outlawed in Camelot. On pain of death."

Merlin splutters, finally fixing Arthur with an affronted glare. "It's not like I meant to do it!"

***

Merlin gets hit with a spell meant for Arthur and loses his memory. Revelations ensue. Set sometime after 5x02.

Metamorphose by clotpolesonly Merlin/Arthur, Teen and Up, Between Seasons/Series, Episode: s03e01 The Tears of Uther Pendragon (Part I), Episode: s03e02 The Tears of Uther Pendragon (Part II), Mpreg, Magic Reveal, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, morgana redemption, some transphobic language from Merlin when he finds out he’s pregnant because of magic but it’s mostly just the shock that does it Summary: When Merlin falls into bed with Arthur, he doesn't expect for to wake up alone. He doesn't expect Arthur to give him the cold shoulder either, but there is something else he expects even less which forces him out of the kingdom for over a year. He returns to find a traitor in the court, an army on the way, and a love he'd thought all but lost waiting for him with open arms.

Four Days To Fall In Love. by CupCakezys Teen and Up, No archive warnings apply, Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Gwen, Soulmate AU, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Protective Arthur, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Secret Relationship

Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate (or two or three), Arthur Pendragon knows he is destined to be alone. For Arthur can see his heartstring, could follow it to where his soulmate lived, and that could only mean one thing.

His soulmate had magic, and should they ever meet, Arthur would have to kill them.

Sacrificial Lamb by RurouniHime Angst and Humor, Pining, First Time, First Kiss, Post Season 1, Initial Misunderstanding, But it’s resolved, Happy Ending, Fluff with a touch of angst at first

Summary: Arthur's been overworking his knights, so they come to Merlin as a last resort.

Cheers and Spirits by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, The knights are kinda fools, but the best king, Humour, Fluff, Fluff and Humour, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin

Summary: Despite all the supposed trips to the tavern none of the knights have seen Merlin drunk. They decide to rectify that. A poor decision, really.

Circle 'round the Truth by enviropony Merlin + Knights friendship, Gen, Magic Reveal, Oneshot, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin Summary: They know about the magic. Or, more accurately, Merlin's magic is the truth the knights circle around, and Merlin's loyalty is the one 'round which they rally. (A character study with some yelling, an action sequence, and a bit of walking.) Post-S4.

Strict Justice by schweet_heart mutual pining, BAMF Arthur, magic reveal, canon au, oneshot, teen and up

Summary: After a particularly grueling battle, Merlin and Arthur share a quiet moment in their tent.

before it breaks by schweet_heart Teen and Up, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, merlin whump, magic reveal, merlin & arthur, merthur

Summary: “It’s not what it looks like,” he says, hand still outstretched, barely a waver in his voice as he lies, outright, to Arthur’s face. “Sire, I can explain.”

“Can you,” Arthur says. He’s aware that he’s trembling, a seismic reaction to the outrage and denial still fighting it out inside his head, but he knows what he’s seen. What it must be. “Well, then, you’d better be quick about it, because it looks a lot like magic.”

Until the Day I Die by Cookie Teen and Up, Oneshot, Angst, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: Arthur believed Dragoon had killed his father, and so he plunged his sword deep into the sorcerer. Now Merlin was dying in his arms and Arthur was facing the future alone.

These Castle Walls Bleed Lies by marguerite_26 Mature, hurt/comfort, Magic Reveal, Angst, Merthur, mentions of arthur/gwen, Gwen/Lancelot

Summary: With his father unfit to rule and Camelot decimated, Arthur must assume the role of King. But the truths he discovers shake the foundation of all he holds dear.

before his eyes (he now sees clear) by hwc Teen And Up Audiences, Uther Pendragon is terrible and complicated, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: It takes Uther half a second to see Balinor in Merlin, and he's almost sure of what he should do.

Keep Your Secrets by new_kate, orphan_account Mature, rape/non-con, torture, captivity, romance, alternate universe - canon, canon typical violence, hurt/comfort

Summary: Arthur Pendragon is captured by the bandits. While he waits to be ransomed, he slowly gets to know Merlin, the prisoner being held in the next cell.

Crossing the Line by Ultrageekatlarge BAMF Merlin, Gen, Crack, Oneshot, Magic Reveal, Hurt! Merlin, Humour

Summary: In which Merlin gets bludgeoned, strangled, attacked, smothered, shot with glass, and tossed out a window, burned, whipped, stabbed, thrown down stairs, nearly drowned on dry land, and harpooned, and still manages to save Camelot from seven evil sorcerers, before lunch.

Your Touch Is My Salvation by elirwen Magic Reveal, Canon Era, Oblivious idiots in love, Curses, Teen and Up, Oneshot, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Merlin suffers from an effect of a curse. Arthur can help more than he initially thought.

A Heavy Heart to Carry by Thursday_Next Rescue, Hurt/Comfort, Magic Reveal, Oneshot, Mature, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon

Summary: When Merlin is captured and injured, Arthur must face up to his own feelings for his manservant as well as the many secrets he discovers are being kept from him.

Can you do that? by no_nutcracker Merlin/Mithian, no archive warnings apply, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, Arthur & Merlin friendship

Summary: Merlin should be overjoyed. He just found his soulmate. If only she was not betrothed to Arhur.

His Remedy for Care by ArgentSleeper Teen and Up, canon au, Episode: s02e13 The Last Dragonlord, Angst, Canon Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fix It

Summary: Injured in the dragon attack in lieu of Arthur and afraid of being stopped from going on the mission, Merlin kept away from Gaius and never learned that Balinor was his father. Instead it's Arthur that puts two and two together as he seeks the dragonlord out, first to save his servant (not friend- they can't be friends), then to save his kingdom.

A Considerable Head Start by ughbutidontwantto BAMF Merlin, Gen, when villains have more regard for you than friends, Camelot has a serious class problem, Merlin deserves better

Summary: Merlin is frighteningly competent and his friends are correctly concerned. Obviously they're going to follow him out to the woods. And obviously they're not going to like what they hea

The Conscience of the King by ughbutidontwantto Gen, Post-Magic Reveal, Legal Drama, Oneshot, Friendship feels

Summary: Merlin's magic was revealed and now everyone has to deal with it in an official capacity since tragically most of these characters work in government. Arthur, predictably, is struggling to cope.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind by BabyStepsAreStillSteps Merlin Deserved Better, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Episode: s05e09 With All My Heart, Fix It

Summary: When Arthur turned his back on the Dolma that he didn’t know was his manservant, Merlin reminded him that he was missing a very important member of their rescue party.

What if he hadn’t?

What They Owe Us by ironspidereilish Merlin/Arthur, Alternate Universe, Aredian’s a tax collector instead of a witch hunter but he’s still a bastard, Hurt/Comfort, Poverty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective Arthur Pendragon, BAMF Arthur, Canon Era, Romance, sexual coercion mentioned, BAMF Merlin

Summary: When Arthur finds out that the castle staff are having their wages held for weeks at a time and can no longer afford food or their homes, he will not rest until they are protected and Aredian is stopped.

The fact that Merlin’s stomach is rumbling while he delivers the prince his breakfast, and Arthur hates the thought of him suffering, only serves as extra motivation to fix this.

royal blood by Rona23 crack!fic, humour, comedy, Balinor Lives, Dragonlord things, Golden Age, Bamf Arthur, Bamf Balinor, Bamf Merlin, Fix It, Magic reveal, Oblivious Arthur, Merthur

Summary: ..... as if Balinor could be killed by Bandits O.o

Alternatively: An alternative take on Balinor surviving and saving Camelot. ... And then proceeding to hold the entire kingdom hostage, because he has a frigging Dragon at his disposal :)

- The way by Naelyn Episode: s04e11 The Hunter's Heart, POV Arthur Pendragon, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Arthur, Until He’s Not, Hurt/Comfort, Merlin Deserved Better, Communication or lack thereof, Canon Divergence

Summary: "One more word out of you, and I swear to God I will send you into exile."

He knows it’s not the pyre, knows there’s much worse, but banishment would mean staying away from Arthur forever – and, as pathetic as that might sound, he thinks he would rather die than let that happen. It is clear that the feeling is not reciprocated, clear that in Arthur’s eyes, he will never come first. There’ll always be people coming before him, and he’s made peace with that long ago – but if even Agravaine can come before him, then anyone could, no? Anyone could replace him. Call Merlin a traitor and have Arthur get rid of him. Anyone could.

Merlin no longer feels safe in Camelot.

or: Arthur threatens Merlin of banishment. To Arthur's eyes, it's all forgotten. To Merlin's, however... Well, let's just say that his faith in their mutual destiny, once unwavering, finds itself faltering at a dangerously quick rate.

Better in the Mourning by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle Gen, Lancelot & Merlin, Knights of the Round Table & Merlin, Grief, Fluff and Angst, Gwen/Lance mentioned, let the characters grieve, 5 Knights of Grief

Summary: Merlin mourns Lancelot's death. The rest of the knights help out. (AKA Merlin gets to take advantage of not having to keep a dead loved one a secret and gets some goddamn support in this castle)

I suppose that I look different (without the robes and crown) by WingedWolf121 Canon Era, Episode: s05e03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon, Uther Pendragon’s A + Parenting, Ygraine/Uther, Arthur/Merlin, Balinor/Hunith, Dragonlord Merlin, BAMF Merlin, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: When Arthur blows the horn of Cathbdhah for the second time, the horn doesn’t just send Uther to the other world. It sends Arthur away as well – to a world where Ygraine never died, the Great Purge never happened, and magic lives freely at court. As do those who practice it.

For Your Information by reni_days Merlin & Uther, Merlin/Arthur, Modern Era au, Oneshot, Teen and Up

Summary: Merlin sighs. "After your...announcement," he explains, "your father decided he needed a bit more information. Which is apparently where I come in. I'm sort of like his gay tutor, it's hard to explain."

Good Fortune by platonic_boner Canon Era, Fluff, Merlin/Arthur, Oneshot

Summary: Arthur makes Merlin a lord, and Merlin does an astonishingly good job of running a village.

Within Reach by foxy_mulder Explicit, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sex, Merlin/Arthur, Angst with a Happy Ending, Oneshot, Slowburn

Summary: Nobody touches Arthur.

Merlin realizes it slowly, and when he does, he wants to kick himself for not seeing sooner. ___________ (Or, Arthur and Merlin's relationship with touch over time.)

Moment of Weakness by TheAsexualofSpades Gen, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Protective Knights, Protective Arthur Pendragon, Protective Merlin, Whump, Oneshot, Merlin/Arthur

Summary: After all Merlin's gone through, you'd think it would take some world-ending magic spell or an almost successful attempt on Arthur's life to shake him properly.

It isn't one of those, and Merlin has no idea why.

He just knows he can't be weak.

The Only Reward Bestowed Upon Me by greatdumbking Gen, Oneshot, Merlin/Arthur, angst, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, Episode: s04e05 His Father's Son, Fix-It, Agravaine, Canon Era, Love Confessions

Summary: “You’re wrong Merlin. I don’t need anyone. I can’t afford that luxury. The kingdom's my responsibility now, and mine to bear alone. And you must learn to accept that.”

How could this hurt so much, a third time? Merlin could feel the façade of his casual indifference faltering. His face fell, tears were clawing at his throat, creeping into his eyes. It took all his effort to nod, steel his eyes, and swallow down the rising sob.

(How did Merlin get chosen the be the bait? Why did Arthur start pushing Merlin away? Why couldn't he see how much it was hurting him?)

Maybe Not the Most Awkward Dinner to Happen in Camelot's Citadel, but it's Definitely Up There by HopePrevails Gen, Gwen/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Oneshot, Humour, past Gwen/Merlin

Summary: When an argument about whether Merlin is remotely attractive or not breaks out over dinner, Queen Guinevere accidentally drops into the conversation that she had a crush on him when he first arrived in Camelot. Arthur takes it... like Arthur.

--x--

“Don’t look so surprised, Merlin.” Gwen said kindly. Perhaps she was the psychic. “You’re sweet and gentle, charismatic-” Arthur snorted. “- and I’m not going to let you walk out of those doors thinking you don’t look the part, either. Remember, even when you first came to Camelot, I-” She stopped herself, snapping her lips tightly shut.

#art by mushroomtale-fanart #their stuff is great #Merlin fic recs #merlin fic rec #merlin (tv)#merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc merlin #bbc merlin fic recs #merlin emrys #fic rec list #fic recs #51 fics total

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