#LIKE LEAVE ME ALONE OLD MAN I DEFINITELY HAVENT BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU OR ANYTHING

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Sobbing in my hands why in gods name am I watching Christmas Carol again

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Rick's daughter Melody cant help her curiosity about the man locked up in the prison cell. Being kept secrets from her father, she takes it upon herself to get to know Negan and one day sneaks into the cell to find him asleep with morning wood.]

SEMI SMUT

Negan and Melody

Rick never really allowed you anywhere near Negan. Hell, you never even saw Negan yourself up close and personal. Although you were twenty, your father still treated you like the little five year old girl he used to carry on his shoulders. It was frustrating at times, he always wanted to keep secrets from you about what was going on in the group and he always said it was to protect you. The only times you ever saw Negan he was tied up being led into the prison cell. Truth was, you didnt know what he had done that was so bad. Your father seemed to keep everything from you that involved anything serious. You looked out the window and saw Daryl pass Eugene the keys for cell, each night someone was on guard. Looking to the right you saw your dad heading your way and quickly pulled down the blinds. After you were told Glenn had died in an accident on a run a few months ago many things changed. Maggie left, everyone seemed more distant and it left you confused.

"Get ready for bed, Melody," your dad spoke low as he entered the house making you sigh.

"I'm not tired dad."

"Mel, it's getting late-"

"And is there something we need to be ready for in the morning?" You responded with sarcasm looking back out the window.

"Besides...you never told me what that guy Negan did."

"I told you that's not up for discussion," he insisted making you roll your eyes.

"Is anything up for discussion? Whatever, I'm sure what he did wasnt that bad if hes being kept alive." You got up from the chair and walked past your father as he looked down with a straight face. There was no way he could tell you the truth of what Negan had done. Your father tried to protect you the best he could and losing people was enough, he didnt want to leave you with images in your head.

Waiting to be sure that your father was in his room you quietly snuck out of yours. Your curiosity ate at you and you were tired of your father treating you like a little girl. Making sure you werent heard, you stepped outside and walked towards where Negan was held captive. Eugene was heading back to the cell with a tray of food for Negan. You knew itd be easy to get around Eugene regardless of what your father instilled in his mind. Creating casual conversation with Eugene and some jokes to break the ice you offered to take Negan his lunch. Right away he made a face filled with doubt.

"I dont know about that, Melody..I'm in charge of his cell-"

"Yeah but you're in charge of the entrance. Who's going to watch while you are distracted handing him the food?" Eugene raised an eyebrow in thought, he felt like you had a point.

"Alright but your dad cant know about this, he'll kill me. So dont take too long."

"Dont worry I got it," you assured him before taking hold of the tray of food and the keys from his hand.

You could feel your heart beating out of your chest, you were nervous yet so curious to know the man that was hidden from you. Unlocking the door you walked down a dark hallway before reaching the cell.

"Well its about time one of you fuckers remembered to feed me," you froze at the sound of Negans voice before stepping out of the dark hall and into the light, revealing yourself. Negan looked up as he leaned against the wall not expecting to see a young attractive woman before him.

"Well excuse my French, where the fuck did your pretty little self come from?" Negan looked you up and down observing your skin tight jeans and crop shirt. Right from the jump you found this man to be very intimidating, taking a deep breath you stepped closer to his cell and bit your bottom lip nervously.

"Um...my name is Melody.. I came to bring you your meal," Negan slowly stepped closer to the bars with a smirk on his face and looked down at the tray in your hands.

"I see that...so you're gonna put that down for me, sweetheart?" He spoke slowly with an enticing voice.

"Oh..um, yes" you smiled before slowly bending down not noticing Negan tilt his head eyeing the curve of your ass as you slid the tray beneath the bars.

"Very nice.." he murmured low to himself before you got back up. Your eyes met his and you suddenly didnt move, his eyes were alluring and inviting all at once. Nervously clearing your throat you backed away brushing your hair back.

"I gotta ask, princess. What's a fine young woman like you doing alone with me here in my prison cell?"

"I wanted to see who you were...I'm not allowed to know things so-"

"So you're telling me no one knows you're here?" He raised a brow getting closer, although this man was behind the bars you still found yourself feeling nervous.

"No...everyone treats me like a little girl. I'm twenty years old and I'm tired of people covering up things for me," you explained.

"Shit, you are very young."

"Not too young where I cant be told what the hell you did to be in here, cant be all that bad if you're still alive."

Negan raised his brows sliding his tongue behind his lower lip.

"Oh no sweetheart, I'm no good." He spoke in a low voice.

"So let me guess, you're going to treat me like a little girl too and not tell me why?" Negan couldnt help himself but chuckle making you cross your arms.

"What's so funny?"

"Ohh...princess, if I was out of this cell right now I'd gladly show you how much of a grown woman I think you are."

"What?" You asked a little shocked not expecting him to express himself the way he did. You were quickly learning Negan had an unfiltered mouth.

"Dont mind me," Negan shook his head with a sigh.

"Its been a while and I'm just fucking frustrated."

"Its been a while since what?" You asked making him slightly lean back with a frown on his face.

"You really are innocent huh," you rolled your eyes.

"Listen, if you're going to say it just say it-"

"Its been a while since I've had some pussy." Negan blurt out making you stumble over your words.

"Oh-um...-" Negan grinned raising his brows at your reaction.

"Oh yes," he laughed as you nervously licked your lips.

"Shit..." he suddenly turned serious.

"How long has it been for you? Or wait let me guess, you haven't even had your cherry popped yet." Negan moved closer to the bars to get a closer look at you.

"Actually, I'm not a virgin but it's been a few years since I lost my virginity to this jackass. I havent slept with someone since."

"So you've gone a few years with out any relief?"

"Well um-obviously I've had relief-"

"Oh..so you like touching yourself," he bit his bottom lip in excitement.

"-But yes, it's been years since I've had sex and I'm okay with it, I dont need it." You couldnt believe you were even explaining this to him.

"Hm. Looks like whoever was hitting it wasnt hitting it right, shit I'd always have you coming back for more." You rolled your eyes holding back a smile, you kind of liked the attention he was giving you.

"Are you always this vulgar, Negan?"

"Only when I'm horny," he teased making you shake your head.

"Shit, do you blame me princess? You're the first woman that's spoken to me like I wasnt a damn monster. Plus I love some dirty talk." Negan had to admit the company was refreshing for him. You sighed with a smile and looked down at his food.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to your food. I'll come by when I can again...if you want me to." Negan smiled sliding his tongue between his teeth.

"Oh I definitely do." You couldnt believe this man was flirting with you but you had to admit to yourself it was a fun interaction.

"Your secrets safe with me, Melody." Negan winked before you quietly left and locked the door shut.

That night you lay in bed smiling to yourself thinking of your very flirtatious talk with Negan. Your dad hadn't suspected a thing and you knew the next morning he would go on a run. It would be a perfect time to see Negan again. You were the first person in a long time to not make him feel like a monster and he was the first person who made you feel like a grown woman. Distracted by his flirtatious ways you didnt focus on the reason of him being held in a cell and Negan had no idea you were Rick Grimes only daughter.

The next morning just as suspected your father left on a run with Daryl and Michonne. The person on guard today was one of the men that you knew wasnt the biggest fan of your father. Of course you were to use this to your greatest advantage. Setting up a tray of breakfast with extra fruit you had grown in your garden you made your way to Negan. Unlocking the door, excitedly you walked down the hall to find Negan asleep with his back facing you as you set down his tray of food.

"Good morning, Negan." You spoke softly making him open his eyes. He groaned with a stretch and turned flat to his back making you gasp.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Negan looked at you confused before noticing exactly where your eyes were. The imprint of Negans very hard cock was practically bulging out of his pants.

"Ah shit-"he muttered to himself adjusting his pants.

"Sorry, sweetheart must've been having a nice little dream." He chuckled as he noticed you wouldnt stop staring at it.

"What, never seen some morning wood before?" He teased as he stood up.

"I mean, of course I just didnt expect to see you..I mean for you to be that way right now." You responded nervously as he made his way close to the bars of the cell.

"Right now?" He laughed.

"Oh princess, you have no idea how horny I am. How much I'd kill for the feel of sweet pussy...shit for a woman to just relieve me." The two of you were face to face now, only the bars separating you from each other.

"You know what I was dreaming about, princess?" Negan spoke as he noticed you would not stop looking down at his crotch area.

"I dreamt about you riding my cock." His voice was raspy, his words making you look up in shock.

"What?" You whispered.

"You left me last night thinking about things I wanted to do to you and this is the outcome." He motioned towards his erection.

"Why dont you touch it for me...just once." He spoke low, your lips parted at his request. Your heart was racing, it was arousing how much this man wanted you. Looking back at the door behind you making sure it was locked you looked back at Negan and nodded.

"Just once." You agreed making him grin.

"Atta girl."

Negan watched as you hesitatingly moved your hand in between the bars and began to slowly rub his crotch. A deep noise escaped his lips the first moment you touched him, his breathing was heavy as you moved your hand up and down.

"Oh my...-" you whispered feeling how rock solid he was.

"Oh, Melody.." he whispered as he closed his eyes. You could tell he obviously wanted more, you could tell how much he needed it. Without saying a word you began to unzip his pants and instantly his cock sprung out. It was thick and hot, you could feel him throbbing in your hand. The man was aching for some kind of relief, he was about ready to explode.

Spitting on your hand you began to move along his shaft. Negan moaned holding onto the bars as he watched you jerk him off. He could tell you were getting turned on as you began to breathe quickly. Negan reached through the bars and grabbed your throat applying pressure making you moan as you began to move your hand faster.

"Fuck baby, I dont think I can hold it-" he held his breath and grunted struggling to not let himself cum just yet.

"Hold on just a little bit more, I want you to cum hard." You whispered as he frowned holding on to the bar tightly, his knuckles turning white. It had been too long since he had been touched, too long since he had ejaculated and Negan had an intense rush. His other hand quickly sliding down your neck and pulling your v neck shirt down revealing your breast.

"Touch me, Negan. Do what you want." You whispered as your hand moved faster. Your words making his jaw clench as he squeezed your breast and let out a very loud and deep groan, loads of cum spilled out of him falling to ground.

"Yes.." you whispered loving the sight of him giving in.

"Dont stop-" he struggled to speak as he continued to cum all over your hand. He panted as you began to slow down before he let go of your breast and leaned against the bars. Releasing his cock from your hand you stepped back and looked at him from head to toe. His eyes were closed as he leaned his head on the bars, his cock twitching as you noticed all his cum on the concrete floor.

"Wow.." you whispered making him open his eyes. Grabbing a rag you had on you, you cleaned up your hand then handed it to him before he closed his pants. Negan cleared his throat before looking back up at you with a smirk.

"I guess I owe you one," he chuckled still trying to catch his breath making you laugh as you fixed your top.

"Glad I could be of help," you joked before the two of you locked eyes. The smiling fading from his face now.

"Seriously, it's been nice having you here."

Negan liked the sexual connection the two of you had, he also liked how you naturally conversed with him. You didnt treat him like an animal, you treated him like a human being. Negan knew he had messed up in life but he knew there was nothing he could do to change the past. All he could do was not repeat the same mistakes. What he did know was that he now knew for sure that he did not want you knowing his real reason behind being locked inside. He knew youd never look at him the same way again.

"Its been nice for me too. I havent really had conversation with anyone in my group." You sighed crossing your arms.

"After my friend Glenn died things changed." You whispered making Negans face change at the mention of Glenn's name. He looked away feeling a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"Everyone started acting different. I miss the way things were." You continued as you looked to the side and thought back of some memories.

"I think you should get going, Princess." Negan spoke low, his words making you look back at him confused.

"Wh-what? I thought we could talk-"

"Listen, I'm not your fucking therapist. Now get going." Negan snapped just wanting you to leave, his guilt eating up at him he felt like utter shit.

"So what jerking you off is all you needed so I'm good to go now?"

Negan remained silent, his head down not being able to look you in the eye.

"You know I know we dont know each other and you dont give a shit about me, but I thought we had an understanding that we both needed someone to talk to and not talk to them like something they're not." You snapped as he carefully listened to your words.

"That's the problem, sweetheart. They're not treating me like something I'm not. You are." His words left you speechless, what the hell did he mean by that?

"I told you I was no fucking good. Now get out of here." Negan turned his back to you, you couldnt believe what he was saying or what the hell even made him say these things.

"Screw you." Negan heard the crack in your voice before you stormed out and slammed the door shut. Negan sighed knowing he didnt want to hurt your feelings, hell he didnt even want you to leave. Angrily you walked back to your room and slammed the door shut, you felt so stupid you could scream. You swore you'd never see Negan again nor let your father ever find out of what had just happened.

Part 2? Trying to think of where I can go from here. Feel free to send in any ideas if you have. Xx

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[nia-journals]

Blind Date | YOONMIN Short Story

——————

park jimin sat in the cushioned chair, blind folded, wearing his casual best, in hopes of impressing whichever stranger his partner turned out to be. you see, his best friend jeon jungkook, had dragged him to one of those blind date events taking place in their city and now jimin sat like a complete idiot and for what? why was he trying so hard? he told himself he couldnt care less about this outing so why did he even bother wearing his best jeans?

jimin sighed and as the countdown on the intercom reached 0 he could hear footsteps approaching. this made jimin a bit anxious. his eyes were bound, he didnt know where in the room his friend jungkook sat and in less a second he would meet a complete stranger he’d spend the rest of this forsaken date with. jimin’s fight or flight instict ticked as he felt someone walk dangerously close to his chair. why the fuck did he agree to this? jimin thought, it was safe to say that whoever came up with a blind dinner date pop-up event was a complete idiot. he now sat in high alert waiting to defend himself despite the circumstances and the obvious fact that he couldnt see anything at all.

so he sat and waited; jimin was beginning to think he’d been stood up even in this stupid blind date. that is, until he heard;

“hello?” a stranger with a deep voice approached him, “im min yoongi,” his voice was eargasmic, it made the little hairs on jimin’s arms stand up and sent chills down his back.

“park jimin,” jimin introduced himself in a shy and unsually low tone. jimin wasnt usually shy but this man’s voice alone made him feel small, intimidated and dominated even.

“should we get right to it?” the stranger’s disembodied yet gravelly voice suggested, “i cant really ask you what you like to eat cause that’s against the rules so, ima take a hunched here and hope you enjoy it. is that ok jimin?”

jimin nodded like an idiot, in a trance. unlike five seconds ago now jimin mentally thanked whoever’s stupid idea was to wear blindfolds cause if not yoongi would be completely exposed to his dialated pupils which signaled his lovey dovey eyes.

“ok, i placed the order. when it comes out please be completely honest with me,” yoongi said, after quietly thanking who i assumed was the server, “i promise i wont cry too hard.”

yoongi’s chuckle.

wow.

that was the most beautiful sound jimin’s ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing. the captivating sound was light and addictive, jimin wanted yoongi to chuckle all throught the night.

“don’t worry yoongi,” jimin let out instinctively. it didn’t matter how nasty what yoongi picked out for him was, he would lie, cheat, fibble, he would do anything to get a shot at a second date with this stranger with the honey dipped voice, “i wont go too hard on you.”

“no, please do but maybe lie about it to the host and we can always try again on our second date.”

jimin smiled, maybe a little too widely and he had to quickly remind himself that yoongi could still in fact see the idiotic smile plastered on his face, “already in for a second date? are you that whipped already?”

“i mean, look at you, park jimin. youre a whole vision in itself. i could sit here all night and talk about how perfect you look.”

“you havent even seen half of my face yet min yoongi,” jimin scoffed in a joking manner.

“fair enough park jimin,” he spoke in a tone of newfound confidence and determination, his voice dropped about two octaves and jimin again froze at how deep and addicting it was to listen to min yoongi’s voice, “let’s get to know eachother before our meal comes to us.”

“fine,” jimin said clearing his throat, “that sounds fine by me.”

“are you from this area jimin?” yoongi asked in his husky tone. fuck this man’s voice would surely be jimin’s demise. he couldnt wait to take his blindfold off to reveal the face of the stranger whose voice had jimin wrapped around his finger.

“no, im actually from busan. i moved out to seoul with some of my friends for school.” jimin said.

“you all go to the same university?” he questioned.

“yeah we do. we all applied together and got in together so we just moved in together and attend the same school,” jimin shrugged. he was infact lucky to have friends who shared similar interests and life aspirations. lucky enough that after high school graduation while everyone waved goodbye to their bestfriends, jimin, taehyung and jungkook were packing together ready to take on the next four years of college right by eachother’s side.

“youre very lucky,” yoongi confessed, “not many people get to attend the same school as their bffs after high school. usually people grow apart.”

“yeah im glad i have them here with me. i’d be a lone wolf in seoul if it wasnt for them.” jimin said. “one of my bestfriends, jungkook, was actually the one who dragged me here?”

“wait are you an introvert park jimin?” yoongi questioned. jimin couldn’t see much of yoongi but he could feel the subtle movements the stranger made in his chair at the other end of the table.

“im as introverted as they come. it took a whole lot of will power, a lot of convincing by my friend jungkook and a million pep-talks from our dorm room to here to get me to calm down a bit,” jimin confessed.

“are you nervous right now jimin?” he let out in a soft yet deep under-tone. his whispering made him sound like an asmrist and jimin wasn’t sure he could handle listening to him talk im such a low tone any longer.

“well i was nervous yoongi, but-“ he began, “your voice.”

“what about my voice?” yoongi asked and jimin could almost hear the cockiness in his voice.

“it’s soothing yoongi, it’s really calming my nerves,” jimin was completely transparent with the man. well of course jimin hid the fact that aside from calming him down a bit, yoongi’s voice also aroused him. that detail he could definitely keep to himself, “in that case i’ll keep talking,” he was definitely now going to begin using his sweet and deep voice against jimin for the rest of the night, “what do you study in school, jimin?”

“dance,” jimin let out, “contemptorary dance to be exact.”

“have you danced for long?” yoongi questioned.

“since i was 9 years old.”

“so youre a professional?”

“i wouldn’t say so, i have a long way to go to be considered professional.” jimin answered modestly.

“i bet your the best in your whole university,” yoongi complimented him in such a casual tone.

“well thank you,” jimin said shyly, yoongi surely knew all the right things to say, “but im not even the best in the whole junior class,”

“i find that hard to believe. on our second date how about you show me your moves?” the butterflies in jimin’s stomach were out of control at yoongi’s blatant proposition.

but at that moment jimin promised himself that he would go dancing with yoongi on their second date.

“let’s take it one second at a time yoongi, i dont even know if i like the food you picked out for me yet,” jimin teased him, “what if it was a complete miss?”

“it won’t be, my gut never lies to me.” yoongi was definitely cocky but jimin thought that was part of his charm. jimin definitely liked it.

jimin laughed, god he wished he could see yoongi’s face right about now, “what about you yoongi? are you in school? are you from seoul?”

“ah, no-“ yoongi started, “im not from seoul, i was born and raised in daegu. i actually, like you, moved to seoul for school and studied music production. i graduated a few months ago. now i work with my friend who’s an upcoming rapper.”

“congratulations on graduating,” jimin offered and yoongi thanked him in return.

“whats his name?” jimin questioned, honestly wanting to know if he’s heard of his friends work at anytime, “your rapper friend. maybe ive heard the music you guys have made together before,”

“his names rm,” yoongi let out non-chalant but jimin almost chocked on his water.

“you’re friends with rm?” jimin let out in an overly excited tone, “my best friend jungkook loves rm.”

“i could get you two tickets to his next underground show if you’d like?” he asked, his offer sounded sincere.

“i couldn’t-“ jimin let up, “we just met yoongi. i wouldnt want you to have the wrong idea of me.”

“i could never park jimin,” there he goes saying jimin’s name again, it sounded so fucking perfect coming from him and jimin could honestly sit and hear yoongi say his name over and over and over until the sun comes up, “how about this, if you like the food i picked for you, i’ll take you and your friend jungkook to the next rm concert.”

“how about we leave the concert for a third date, i want you all to myself on the dance floor for our second date,” jimin said feeling fearless, teasing him a bit in the process, “well if i like the food you picked out for me, that is.”

“thats a deal park jimin, good thing we’re about to find out.” yoongi said, and less the a second later jimin could smell the delicious food being placed in front of him.

“do you want me to help you with that?” yoongi asked as he noticed jimin struggling a bit to find his fork.

“if you could please,” jimin was about to be fed by a stranger with the most mesmerizing voice. to say his heart was going to beat right out of his chest was no exaggeration.

a couple seconds later, yoongi let out an “open up,” and jimin was met with his favorite kind of pasta, shrimp scampi. jimin was glad yoongi picked out a meal he liked because this meant they had a chance at a second date and jimin couldnt wait.

immidiately jimin clicked the right button under his side of the table signaling he’s liked the dinner picked out by blind date partner. jimin quickly took off his blind fold and after his eyes adjusted to the bright lights in the room he was met with the most beautiful man he’s ever laid eyes on. his tanned skin was honey-like and there was a perfect contrast between his brown sugar skin and his plain white t-shirt. his wide gummy smile made his eyes turned to small crescent moons and at that moment jimin couldnt believe that such a perfect voice belonged to such a perfect human being.

“are you ready to put your dancing shoes on for our second date?” jimin asked as yoongi’s gummy smile grew in size.

———————

this story has very much been alive and well on ao3 give it love there!

thanks for reading <3

[violetnotez]

My Hero

Pro Hero! Red Riot x Reader

I havent seen much for Pro Hero Red Riot so I thought Id mine as well give it a shot! This is a rewrite of one of my older fics so I hope its a little better than the last :)

-----------------------------

Genre: Angst (ish) to Fluff

Word Count: 2500+

Warnings: Catcalling, cussing

Summary: When you decide to leave your neglectful date and walk home, your met with a drunken idiot who cant seem to understand the meaning of “No”-until the hero Red Riot comes to save the day.

One Shot

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

Why did I ever think this was going to be fun,” you thought miserably, the chilly night air biting your exposed skin.

Parties were never your “thing”, since nobody really invited you. It wasn’t because you were hated at your school or were an outcast; it was  just you didn’t care to belong to a ‘clique’. You were a roamer, being a friend to anyone who was nice and social enough to talk to you, but you never became to the level of close friends with any of them. So, when you had been invited to go to a house party by one of your guy friends who was a little bit popular, you were more than just a “little” shocked. You were completely confused on why, but you shrugged it off and just decided to go. How bad could it be?

Very bad, more than you had expected, and now you were cursing at yourself for even agreeing to be his date. He decided to take you with a group of his old high school friends, who were the definition of a typical “Popular” group of high school: a bunch of lip glossed cheerleaders and crazy sports fanatics. It would’ve been tolerable to be around such a group if your “date” was polite enough to pay attention to you, but he had ran off to be idiots with all his football buddies, leaving you defenseless with the slightly air headed cheerleaders.

You were seriously itching to rip out your hair from frustration all night.

When two hours of having to deal with high pitch squeals from girls who would laugh at anything the guys would say finally hit, you were thoroughly annoyed and grossed out and wanted to go home. You tracked down your date, told him you were leaving, and walked yourself home, politely declining his offer of driving you home.

You had just passed what looked like another house party, the music pumping through the windows as people came in and out of the house, stumbling and dancing around with no care in the world.

To say you were mad was an understatement. You were exhausted from having to act like you were enjoying yourself so you didnt look like a whiny prick, mad that you had actually used up your money (and was now broke) on a dress and a pair of shoes you’d never wear again, and a little hurt your “date” just left you to fend for yourself with his buddies’ dates all night.

You were so frustrated at yourself and the whole situation, you almost didn’t hear the person behind you.

“Hey hottie, where ya going lookin like that?”

You whipped around, the slurred voice making your blood run cold.

The guy in front of you was definitely intoxicated, his overly gelled hair slicked back, his polo untucked and a red cup in his hand. His face was plastered with such a smug smile, it made you want to cringe from disgust. This guy was a total creep.

“Buzz off,” you gave him a dirty look, mustering your face to look menacing when on the inside you were terrified.

“Playing hard to get, huh, babe? I like that,” the drunken idiot walked closer, his drink sloshing out of the cup and the stink of alcohol and sweat hitting you, making you feel dizzy.

“No,” you walked backwards quickly in fear, “Im trying to get away from you! Now go to back to your party and leave me alone.” You pleaded the last part, wishing you could break out in a run but knew you’d hurt yourself on your shoes. 

He was getting too close for comfort. You could now see clearly the stitching of the emblem on his polo, a bright cherry red. HIs breath was suffocating you, making it harder to breath. You looked around desperately for any way out.

“Why dont you come inside, baby- you’ll definitely want to stay here once your alone with me,” the drunken idiot licked his lips, making you shiver in disgust.

“What the hell!” you gasped in shock, pushing him away from you. “Get the hell away from me you creep!” you yelled, hoping somebody would hear you as you frantically walked backwards, trying a last ditch attempt to shake this creepo off as he drunkenly groped for your arm.

“Whats your deal?!” the man yelled accusingly, as if you were in the wrong and stumbling closer to you. “Why are you being such a bitc-”

“I wouldnt finish that sentence if I were you.”

You looked up quickly, your eyes still wide with terror as you searched for the source of the voice. Your gaze fell upon a boy wearing a plain gray hoodie, with spiky hair as red as a cherry. His eyes were dark, slanted in a mad glare. He looked as if he was going on a night run, and you felt relief flood your body- somebody heard you and was willing to help.

“What the hell dude, mind your own damn business-!” the drunk yelled out in anger, but then he paused, and something strange happened- the man actually looked scared. ‘Wait...I know that hair...your the hero Red Riot, right?” he said with a mix of awe and terror, turning sober for the span of .2 seconds.

“Huh, so you do have a brain? Wouldn’t have guessed that!” he laughed, a feeling of safety warming your body- a Hero was saving you-and a great one at that! You remembered that name instantly- you had seen Red Riot all the time on TV, sporting that signature red, spiky hair everywhere he went. He was always fighting some villain with that amazing Hardening quirk of his, and you had always taken time to admire his costume (and his amazing body). He was pretty young for a hero, around his early 20′s, but was already being described as one of the “Best Debuting Heroes” of that year. 

The drunk man stood there, his groggy mind trying to understand the insult. You took that time to make a run for it- you shoved him again, his drink spilling all over his shirt as you ran towards your savior.

“Dude, what the hell!” he sputtered as he looked down at his now beer soaked shirt.

Red Riot instantly protected you once you got close enough to him, shielding you with his body from the idiot in front of you two. “You gotta admit,” Red Riot said, a laugh spilling out of his lips, “you kinda deserved that. Its not cool to keep pushing on a girl if she says “no”, man.” 

The drunken man’s face turned red from anger and embarrassment. 

“Ya know what, he yelled, “I dont give a damn if your a hero, I’m gonna beat your ass into the ground!”

The drunken idiot threw his cup on the floor, sprinting up to the hero and throwing him a punch aimed for his head.

You gasped, not expecting something so reckless and violent to happen so quickly. Red Riot instantly blocked, though, as if it was a reflex, his hardening quirk making his arm jagged like a mountain cliff.

“Hitting a hero! That wasnt very smart,” Red Riot replied calmly, as if amused. You watched the drunk’s face contort in shock, and then into panic as Red Riot swung a matching punch to his face, knocking him out cold. 

Kirishima looked down at the man in distaste- he hated scumbags like this, who treat others like property and expect rewards for being aggressive. To be honest, he’d loved to do more than just one lousy punch on this idiot but- he was a hero, and heroes didn’t abuse their powers. If he did, he’d be just as bad as this creep.

He sighed, giving one last look to make sure the drunk was breathing and okay-which he was- and turned to the startled girl behind him.

“You alright miss?” Red Riot asked softly, concern in his voice.

You turned sharply, your hair flipping away from your face as you looked up at the hero, your chest hurting from the fear you were feeling moments before.

You looked at him in shock and awe- “You just saved my life,” you stated, the sound of your steady voice surprising you.

He scratched his head, almost looking embarrassed. “Its nothing, really,’ he said quickly, his concern pushing you for an answer. “DId he do anything to you? Are you hurt?”

“A little shaken up,” you said with a weak smile, “but nothing I cant handle.”

“Im sorry you had to deal with that,” he stated, the slight anger in his voice surprising you. “But- is it okay if I can walk you home? I really don’t feel comfortable letting you walk by yourself. The streets are super dangerous at night.”

You laughed sarcastically, trying to ease your nerves and keep the growing pit of emotions at bay. “Yeah, kinda figured that out the hard way.” You paused, thinking the new situation over- you didnt want to walk home by yourself, that was not happening. You felt unsafe, and violated, and the anger and slight embarrassment bubbled in your stomach, threatening to come out in streams across your face. You wanted to forget this, and you felt embarrassed that someone witnessed what just happened, even if it was a person who helped you and you surprisingly felt comfortable around. He seemed like a genuinely good person- someone who would listen to and truly care about someone.“I shouldn’t be embarrassed,” you thought violently to yourself, “it isn’t your fault.” But the feeling of being rejected and then sought after in a disgusting way made you feel crushed, and you couldn’t keep everything in any more. The tears came quietly, then slowly came on harder, the sound of sobbing escaping your mouth.

You willed your tears to go back, to evaporate and leave you, but that, inevitablely, didn’t work. But, surprisingly, the hero didn’t question this. He gently wrapped his arms around you, the soft thin fabric shielding your exposed skin from the cold.

It did feel awkward to hug a stranger at first, but it quickly soothed you.. He didn’t feel so much as a stranger, but an anonymous confidant, a past friend, someone who was easy to be with and be your real self, and not have to pretend that life was great all the time. Sometimes life throws you some curveballs-You just needed someone who a least cared a little bit about how you felt when you got two curveballs in one night.

“You’re safe, I got you. Its not your fault- Youll be okay.”

Your shoulders shook slightly as the tears left your face, the feeling of relievement making you feel much better. As your breathing began to go back to normal pace, you pushed away gently, your now shiny face smiling in embarrassment with a sniffle.

“Are you sure he didnt hurt you? Or do anything to you?” he asked again, his voice filled with care and urgency as he looked into your eyes, searching for an answer. His hands on your shoulders shielded you from the cold, the fabric tickling your skin.

“Yeah, Im okay, what you saw is all he did,” you said, your voice thick from crying. “Im sorry I broke down a little, just-, you sighed, feeling there was no point in keeping your walls up- “ it hasnt been the best night.”

He hugged you again, this time being quicker and harder.

“Dont be sorry for crying, you deserve to. Im just sorry I wasnt here sooner.”

Your heart melted a little for this boy and his big heart. You pushed a piece of hair away from your face, your cheeks a little warmer than the rest of your body.

“No your fine, you didnt know that was happening, Im just so grateful for you helping when you did. I really do mean it when I said you saved my life.”

The hero shuffled, embarrassment yet again evident in his mannerism.

“Just doing my job I guess!” his eyes filled with happiness, the evident blush looking almost comical.

“So- is it alright if I can walk you home?”

You giggled, your stress now alleviated and the look on his face looking so silly it made you feel almost peaceful.

“Of course,” you replied, and you began to walk  alongside him.

You two walked quietly, the soft breeze nipping your skin, but filling your lungs with brisk air, clearing your head. The silence between you two was comfortable as both of you thought deeply. You were going over the events of the night- the feel of betrayal and annoyance, then extreme fear, and relief, and sadness, guilt, happiness- it was so much to process you couldn’t wrap your head around it. But one thing you could think clearly on was the person next to you. You gave him a side eyed glance, staring at his sweatshirt, the toned muscles contouring the sweatshirt. You wish you could know who he was- he seemed sweet and genuine, and not to mention even more handsome in person. But being around him felt peaceful, even for just talking to him for a few moments-the feeling was a little intoxicating.

As Red Riot caught your side eyed glance, the feeling of butterflies filled his stomach. He had just met this girl, but he already knew he liked her. She had a fighter’s spirit, she wasnt hung over the fact that he was a hero and gawking at him like some object- she treated him like a person, not just some hero. She was sweet to him, even though she looked like she just had the crappiest night of her life. And the fact he found her unbelievably pretty made the butterflies fill his stomach with a ticklish feeling.

You two began to start talking a little, slowly becoming more comfortable. You talked about everything, from school to friends to hero work to anything you could think of. By the end, both of you were hurting from laughing and the smiles that were plastered on your faces.

You both reached the front steps of your apartment building, the look of happiness on your face making Kirishima feel great inside. He knew a comfortable walk would make you feel better- it always did for him. But he knew he just met you and he shouldn’t go out of his way so much to help a stranger, but you looked like you needed it. And he had this itching feeling like you deserved something good to happen to you. Everyone does, right?

You looked at him, feeling a rush of butterflies fill your stomach. You had never wanted to get to know someone more so hard in your life. To just know who he was and thank him properly would alleviate the sudden need to know him, not just “Red Riot”. You grabbed your hands tightly, wishing the walk wouldnt ever end.

“Thanks again for  everything,” you smiled warmly, making Red Riot’s stomach bubble with butterflies. 

“Yeah, no problem!” he replied, sadness ebbing into him at the thought of leaving you. His eyes suddenly light up, an idea striking him. 

“Do you by any chance have your phone on you?” he asked sweetly. You gave him a slightly confused look, but nodded, handing him your phone. 

He quietly punched in a few characters in the key pad, and then handed back your phone. You looked down and there was his phone number in your contacts, and his name- “Kirishima.”

“That’s my last name-and- uh- my number,” he chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck, “If you never need anything, or want to talk and maybe...go on a date, just-”

“How about tomorrow at 2?” you asked quickly, wanting so badly to meet him again. 

Kirishima was caught completely off guard- in a good way. Electricity flooded his body, as if all his nerves were on everload..

“2 so great! I'll be off tomorrow, so wherever you want to meet, I'll be there!” His smile was so happy and large, you couldn't help but smile back. 

“Thanks again,” you said softly, feeling as if you were in a dream.

Then you did something you wouldn't even expect from yourself- you kissed him on the cheek, before looking one last time at your hero before you closed your front door softly.

“Wait!” Kirishima yelled as he realized something.

“Hm?” you opened the door a crack, your freezing legs hidden behind the warm inside of the door.

“I never got your name!”

You laughed as you realized you never actually did introduce yourself. “Its y/n!”

Kirishima thought your name was beautiful- a pretty name to match a pretty girl. “Well- good night y/n!” You waved goodbye, a smile playing on your lips as you closed your door.

Kirishima looked at your front porch, the spot you kissed still tingling and his heart pounding. He looked at your door in a blissful daze- he couldn’t believe that just happened. A grin spread on his face as he finally turned away from your house, and walked off with a warmth creeping in his chest. A pretty girl he saved kissed him. Well- on his cheek- but still. It was a win for the books.

-----------------------------

Requests open!!!!!

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[twriteskpop]

Adrenaline // Jeon Jungkook AU pt 2

Warnings: marijuana use, sexual harassment

Word count: 3k+

The park was 20 minutes away from her apartment complex,  which meant that she had no time to go up to her apartment and change first. She shifted into reverse and made her way to the park.  

The park was mostly empty during the summer time,  so it was no surprise to her that only a few cars were parked by the water.  She found a parking space on the other side of the lot,  and brought out her phone.  

Here. Yellow VW Beatle

She watched as a child threw bread crumbs at a duck in the pond.  Something Floridian children did often.  The ducks aren't supposed to be fed,  but it's like a right of passage in Florida.  The little girl was dressed in a cute denim dress,  matching hat as well.  Her mother was knelt beside her,  keeping a hand on her shoulder to make sure she didn't fall in. The girl threw the bread crumbs happily to the ducks,  pointing at the ones eating.  It was such an innocent moment between mother and daughter.  One Delilah never had but witnessed too often. 

Her thoughts were broke by a knock on the passenger side window. She looked through the window to see a person holding their phone to the glass.  It was the text thread.  This was Clarissa's dealer. She unlocked the door and the man got in. He was nothing she expected.  He was handsome. He had on blue jeans and a long black shirt.  His hair was slightly covering his face. When he turned to her,  she couldn't help but feel a butterfly in her stomach.  He was extremely handsome.  His nose was predimanent,  his eyes sweet but focused on the task at hand.  His skin was clear and smooth and he was somehow cute but hot all at once.  

Her thoughts were,  thankfully, by him putting his hand out for her to shake.  "I'm Jungkook.  You're Clarissa and Bennett's friend?" He asked,  a kind tone in his soft voice.  Delilah nodded once,  pulling her wallet out.  She had never been infatuated with anyone before,  but the looks alone this man had was effecting her train of thought.  Sure,  she had boyfriends but they were pity dates she had with them.  She had never felt physically attracted to anyone before,  so this sudden nervousness made her uneasy. 

"my name is Delilah. Sorry I was late,  I was getting off of work," She explained turning to him.  He raised his brow and half smirked,  "you work at one of the theme parks?" Delilah looked down at her uniform and instantly felt embarrassed.  "Sadly,  no.  I work at Timmy's 50's, " She explained,  adding some annoyance to the diner name.  It was cheesy and showed how self centered her boss was. He chuckled and nodded,  "interesting. Anyways,  what will it be?" She thought back to the strain she used to go off of, even though she never really paid much attention.  Whatever she could get before she smoked,  regardless. However she did remember friend in high school was regular on indica strains called… "9 pound hammer,  or grape ape?" She asked.  He smirked flicking a brow up high,  smirking at her,  "good taste.  I have grape ape right now.  Usually it's pretty random,  for future reference.  You're in luck.  It's 20 a G. " Delilah pulled out her purse and pulled a 20 dollar bill out of her phone case,  it had the smell of maple syrup on it because it was a tip from a messy table with kids that same day. She passed it to Jungkook,  trying not to look into his deep brown eyes too long.  

They exchanged the money for a dime bag of the green,  with slight purple specs,  substance.  He placed the money in his wallet and placed his hand on the handle of the car door.  He paused,  turned to look at her with a cute, bunny-like smile,  and stated,  "it was a pleasure,  Delilah.  I hope we meet again soon." As quickly as he entered her car,  he was gone. 

His scent was of sweet Cologne,  definitely something expensive by how it wasn't too strong to notice at first,  but lingered like a ghost.  

She placed the dime bag into her purse and drove back to her apartment.  She couldn't help but think about the way Jungkook had left butterflies in her stomach.  Who knows,  it could just be nerves from the sale after so long of quitting.  Yeah,  that's exactly what Delilah insisted on as she made her way into her apartment and into a hot shower,  washing the diner smells away along with the phantom touches left from Tims daily harassment.  

When she exited the shower,  sliding on her denim shorts and baggy T-shirt,  she remembered something crucial to her dire need to forget her thoughts,  she hadn't had a grinder or anything to smoke from. Sure,  she could create a soda can bowl,  if she hadn't given up soda her first year of college.  

Thankfully,  she felt relieved to see she had one wrapped cookie left from Clarissa the night prior.  As she unwrapped the single cookie and placed it on a napkin,  and then into the microwave,  she texted Clarissa. 

So,  met Jungkook.  Problem arises,  nothing to grind or smoke with.  😪 

 Seconds later the buzzing started in her phone. Clarissa had been calling her. 

Clarissa was laughing and cheerful, per usual, “D! Come over! I have plenty of old pieces you can take. Smoke with us tonight. We have been wanting to smoke with you for a while, but loved hanging out with you without smoking too. You’re our closest friend!” She continued to ramble on, “Anyways, movie night. Going to smoke and watch… something. We still havent decided, come over!” Before Delilah could protest, there was more laughter and the phone hung up. She huffed out a sigh. 

She hadn’t...smoked in so long. The night prior it was an edible. She had been alone. Was she ready to smoke with other people around again? She was always introverted,  until she smoked. She shrugged the thought off,  thinking too much.  She would at least smoke for free and have a cookie and two grams left at home.  

She slipped on her white adidas and walked over to Clarissa's place,  not bothering to knock,  they asked her not to many times because she was like family.  The familiar smell of weed hit her like a snack in the face.  It was strong and the foggy smoke was rolling out the door behind her.  

Clarissa was rushing to the door, a smile plastered on her round face.  She gripped Delilah's wrist and pulled her happily to the living room.  There were three people in the living room,  lounging on the couch and flipping through Netflix.  One, Bennet a largely buff man with pale white skin and bald head,  but friendly face,  was arguing with the two other men.  Delilah's eyes landed on Jungkook.  He was wearing the same clothes from earlier that day,  a smile plastered on his face,  making his nose crinkle in a cute bunny-like way.  He had been telling Bennet to pick a better movie than the kissing booth.  Bennet may look frighteningly intimidating but he was just a big teddy bear.  The other face was unfamiliar. It was another man of Asian decent with bleached blonde hair and dimples when he smiled.  His eyes were slightly hooded,  but it made his stare seductive.  

"So I heard you met Jungkook earlier but this is RM,  another one of our friends. Follow me to the room,  I have a whole set you can keep. Had it for years but you can clean them," Clarissa stood taller than Delilah but she was in an excited,  bent-knee type position while talking.  It looked as though Clarissa had been waiting for this moment.  As if it were the missing puzzle piece to Delilah's personality.  In the moment,  it slightly burned her soul,  but she brushed it off,  as she did most hurtful things.  

Clarissa had a small cardboard box on her red blanketed bed,  the contents inside were like a smoker starter kit.  A silver grinder with a  rhinestone galaxy as the lid,  a beautiful glass blown chillum,  bowl, a tray and a palm tree bong. Every one of the contents looked warn but the thought was extreme.  "I'll venmo you $100 for this.  It's too sweet," Delilah wrapped her arm around her friend in a side hug.  Clarissa smacked Delilahs arm,  leaving a stinging sensation,  "don't you dare.  You're family." Clarissa turned around and made her way back to the living room. Delilah pulled out her phone and opened the venmo app,  paying Clarissa,  before following behind.  Delilah placed the cardboard shoe box of stuff on the counter and reached for a water in the fridge.  

"Titanic?  What are you a woman?" RM had snatched the remote from Bennet,  laughing.  Clarissa had been seated next to Bennet,  snuggled under his arm,  passing the blunt to Jungkook. lunt to RM who was sitting beside the couple on the small, three person couch. On the two seater, Jungkook was sitting with his elbows on his knees, staring up at Delilah. That feeling in her stomach soon returned.  She turned her attention to the bean bag in the corner, it was either sitting closely to Jungkook, or on the bean bag. She pulled the bean bag to a spot between the tv and the couch, plopping herself down comfortably. “Can we just pick a movie?” Clarissa snatched the remote from RM.  She flipped on a random movie. Delilah giggled when the movie began, seeing the title name. “Of all the movies Clarissa, you had to pick the one based in Orlando?” Delilah laughed, throwing a pillow at Clarissa. Bennet blocked it from hitting her. “I’m a sucker for bring it on movies and this is the only one on netflix,” Clarissa retorted. Delilah face palmed internally. She had been a cheerleader most of her life, competition cheer as well. Mostly on fundraisers because her family had been critically homeless most of her life. Bring it On movies were her guilty pleasure, she was glad clarissa felt the same way. 

“is this one of those cheerleader films?  Oh Lord," Bennet placed his hand on his face and took the blunt from RM,  "I think we are all going to need a ton of this. She likes to act these cheers out." The room started laughing,  but Clarissa lifted a perfectly sculpted brow at Delilah, "yeah laugh all you want but I think our girl D knows this movie just like I do. How'd you know this one was based in our city?" Delilah could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.  She was embarrassed.  She was not sure if she wanted everyone knowing her past. Clarissa and Bennet knew, but she hadn’t known the other two men enough. So, she flicked her brow up and winked, not saying anything. 

The blunt was now in jungkooks hand, he took two long puffs and passed it to Delilah. Before she could reach for it,  Bennet stopped Jungkook, "she doesn't smoke.  Sorry D,  he didn't know." Delilah and Clarissa both began giggling like a set of school girls with a secret.  "I did say that she met our boy JK earlier. I wanted to see the look on your face when you found out, " Clarissa laughed. Jungkook passed Delilah the blunt but it was down to the last hit. She held it in her hand, staring down at it.  Everyone was busy laughing atBennets cluelessness,  so they hadn't noticed that Delilah was trying to decide if she really wanted to take that nose dive back into the cycle. She made a promise she wouldn't do it again.  Maybe she could alter that promise.  She loved being able to sleep the night prior. Not thinking too hard. Maybe she could have the best of both worlds.  Just make responsible decisions while getting rid of the bomb of memories in her mind. That is exactly what she-

"Delilah?" Jungkook had broken her train of thought,  he had done that many times in one day.  She felt the pain instantly and placed it in the ash tray.  She had burnt the tip of her pointer finger and thumb. The blunt had burned out.  She rubbed the burn on her shirt and it had only stung for a second. "How about you guys spark up a bowl while I help Delilah with the burn, " Jungkook stood up,  gripping her wrist,  pulling her up before she could protest.  She didn't like people treating her like she was weak.  It was just a small burn.  The sting did linger as they walked through the kitchen archway.  He opened the fridge and pulled out the tub of butter,  scooping a tiny bit with a spoon and forcefully putting it on her fingers.  "I'm fine.  Thank you. It's just a small burn," Delilah turned the butter with the two fingers as jungkook washed the spoon.  "You looked lost. Bennet said you don't smoke? Is this your first time?" Jungkook leaned against the counter,  a palm of each hand supporting him. 

"Because a first timer could handle the strains I asked for,  let alone know the names?" She laughed sarcastically lifting a brow at the beautiful man.  He let out a chuckle and nodded,  "fair point. So what was getting to you?" She hasn't wanted to tell him her whole life story,  as he was a complete stranger.  However,  the look in his eye showed a sense of caring. His eyes had a glass like glisten and they wandered the depths of her soul they were staring so hard into hers.  She felt that feeling in her stomach and she had to force herself to look to the fridge.  She kept it short and simple,  "I quit about 14 months ago when I moved here.  My decisions weren't always…. Thought out.  Now I think too much so today… " He took a step forward and placed his hand on her mid back,  the feeling in her stomach intensified.  He turned her around and slightly pushed her from the kitchen archway,  moved around her,  looked back to whisper,  "I'll watch over you.  You're with friends now.  If you want to be?" She nodded and they made their way back to the living room.  She sat back down on the bean bag chair and thought briefly about the effect that sentence had on her.  Of course she'd want to be his friend after that.  Even RM seemed cool.  If Bennet and Clarissa were close with these two,  she trusted their opinions more than anyone. So she decided to let herself go.  

Clarissa had hit play on the movie and just as Bennet said,  began reciting the beginning.  The blue,  glassblown pipe went around the living room and made it to Delilah,  who no longer hesitated.  She took the lighter and pressed the bowl against her lips,  warm to the touch.  She went to light the lighter,  but the tip of her thumb was burnt and made her feel like a hot knife cut into her.  "Fuck! " She exclaimed,  shaking her hand.  Jungkook got up from his spot on the couch and sat on the floor next to her.  He reached for the lighter and motioned for her to press the bowl back to her mouth.  After a slight moment of hesitation,  she did so.  He carefully lit the lighter and held it against the green packed substance in the bowl of the pipe.  She breathed in,  letting the smoke slowly warm her lungs,  until she couldn't take it and tapped jungkooks hand with her free one. She cleared the pipe and held in the smoke.  She could feel slightly more relaxed and her body became weightless in a sense.  She was no longer nervous that jungkook was so close to her.  She passed the bowl to Bennet who was next and firSt in the  rotation.  She turned,  thanked jungkook.  "I told you I'd watch out for you." He winked,  making her heart flutter as if a whole tree shook off its fall leaves in preparation for winter,  but in her heart.  The effect he had on her showed,  she wasn't a light weight so she still had thought about that fact.  

Clarissa stood up and began doing the pool cheer off cheer.  Her form waoff and she was making everyone laugh and clap at the same time. She made the movie entertaining even for the guys and it had just begun. "Delilah… you know the movie? Explain why you're laughing and not here doing it with me?" Clarissa paused the movie,  taking her hit as she stood next to the tv in the large living room.  Bennet let out a loud cackle,  "okay rissa,  maybe not everyone watches it a billion times?" The other two guys laughed.  

The overall environment was comfortable and welcoming,  and with the help of medicating,  she felt comfortable enough with her friends to finally admit one thing about her life.  Sure,  Clarissa and Bennet already knew most of the dark stuff that happened to Delilah in her past,  but they hadn't known she used to cheer.  

"Your form is off," Delilah laughed.  Clarissa flicked her brow up,  "what do you know about form? I cheered all four years of high school!" Delilah nodded,  "fair enough.  Try… cheer competition squads since the age of 3,  working through fundraisers to pay her dues to stay on the squad." Clarissa opened her mouth widely smiling,  "no way!  Girl,  you HAVE TO DO THE CHEERS WITH ME! " she squealed in a high pitched voice.  The guys in the room all agreed and took turns pleading at Delilah. They saw it as entertainment.  Delilah shook her head.  She wasn't sure she wanted to be that vulnerable just yet. 

"If you do this, RM,  Bennet and I will do one cheer of choice," Jungkook pleaded,  gripping Delilah's arm gently pulling at her like a child.  She huffed out a sigh,  how could she pass that up? "Fine,  hand me the bowl.  I'm too sober to do this, " She threw the lighter to jungkook who quickly lit the bowl for her.  After a second of letting the medication kick in,  she felt loose in body,  mind,  and soul.  She pushed herself up off the bean bag chair and stood next to Clarissa after kicking her shoes to the corner.  Thankfully, they lived on the first floor so no one would complain.  The guys clapped and began the movie.  

Delilah and Clarissa began cheering every cheer to the movie,  while the guys watched laughing hysterically and occasionally impressed.  "Alright I did it, " Delilah plopped down on the bean bag after the credits rolled.  Clarissa pulled jungkook,  Bennet and RM all up from their spots one-by-one. 

"I'm thinking the pool cheer off.  I'd love to see our guys prance and dosey doe," Clarissa quoted from the movie.  Delilah nodded vigorously. "Hop up there guys you have 10 minutes to practice while D and I go to her apartment to put her pieces away, " Clarissa informed,  throwing Delilah her shoes back,  putting on her own adidas. Delilah grabbed the box on the counter and they exited to Delilah's apartment.  The air was significantly fresher than the apartment they were just in.  She didnt have decorations so even though it was the same floor plan,  hers looked bigger.  

Delilah placed the box in her kitchen cabinet and looked out on her open balcony. Tuck was laying down enjoying the afternoon sun.  "Tuck can come inside if he wants.  I bought a water bowl about a month ago for when he's over on my porch," Delilah pointed to the door,  pulling her phone our of her pocket.  "What a mess this cheer will be, " Clarissa laughed,  peaking over the railing to her apartment. "Oh god," Delilah complained.  Her phone was filled with texts from Tim. He wanted her to cover the dinner rush as soon as the lunch rush was over.  Apparently the other waitresses were going to some party at UCF. Tim always let the other waitresses ditch as much as they wanted,  because the diner was never too busy for one person to handle. It was in a part of town that the tourists never went,  because it was opposite side of the theme parks.  The other waitresses also allowed Tim to grope them and even play into it. They were around the same age as Delilah,  but both were in college while Delilah dropped out of community college to move back.  So,  whenever they didn't want to work,  Tim brought in Delilah.  She needed this job so she always obeyed.  

"I guess you're going to have to enjoy the cheer alone.  I have to head back to work," Delilah threw up her hair quickly while explaining to Clarissa,  who followed her to her room as Delilah changed back into her uniform.  "Heather and Maddy are going to another party?" Clarissa asked,  anger surrounding her usually peppy voice.  Delilah nodded,  pulling her poodle skirt and matching white shirt back on.  

"It's not fair.  The way he treats you.  He shouldn't be harassing anyone of you but the fact the other girls let him so they still get paid to ditch?" Clarissa rambled.  Delilah could feel the rage in the room as if it were fog.  Delilah placed her hands on Clarissa's bony shoulders as Clarissa sat on Delilah's bed.  "Honey,  it's why I can afford this apartment,  my car,  bills,  and still have some money left I save up for an annual pass to the parks.  Tonight's shift tips should get me just enough to buy one on Monday," Delilah reassured her friend. "Come by for dinner if you're too afraid he will act up.  Foods on me, " She convinced Clarissa.  As Delilah grabbed her purse Clarissa followed her out the front door, holding tucks collar. "Fine.  We will drop by later.  I'm bringing the guys.  You're high as a kite though so… be careful okay? " Delilah nodded once and made her way to work.  Being high the traffic didn't bother her so much.  

--------------------------------------

A/N

I'm loving this so much.  I have so much planned.  Please leave comments on where I can improve,  what you love,  and what you want with the story!  

-T

[ritualmichael]

Alone Time - Hawthorne!Michael x Male Reader

back at it again with another hawthorne fic (psst, read High For This if you havent). italicized = flashback. lmk what you think!

warnings: mentions of student/teacher relationships, male receiving blowjob

word count: 3.9k-ish

(if you know whose gif this is, pls lmk!)

There was no such thing as peace and quiet at Hawthorne. With that many boys milling around the hallways and classrooms at all times of the day, it was hard to find a space where one could actually be on their own - especially when Michael Langdon was your roommate.

It had only been about fifteen minutes and Y/N was finally starting to relax and unwind from his long day, sinking further into his mattress with his back leaning against the wall, an old occult book in his lap. There wasn’t much else for him to do around Hawthorne, but he didn’t mind - he had actually gotten through a few shelves of books from the library by now. The leather covers and pages crisp from age were the best company he could find.

It wasn’t long before the door was pushed open and the sounds of the school poured into the still and quiet room briefly until it latched again, Michael closing it behind him. His roommate didn’t even look up from his book, hoping he could just ignore his new guest - which he was able to call him because Michael spent less time in his own bed than he did other’s, leaving his roommate by himself most nights. It seemed like tonight wasn’t going to be one of those nights.

“What are you studying?” Michael asked without actually greeting him, sitting down on the bed next to the boy and lifting up one of the sides of the book, craning his neck to be able to make out the title which made his roommate lose his place with a huff. Michael knew a lot of things about being a good warlock, but he definitely didn’t know much about personal space.

“Not studying, just trying to enjoy my alone time.” No matter how many hints he dropped, Michael never chose to pick up on them. “Why weren’t you in class earlier?”

The moment he finally looked up at Michael, his questions were answered. Dangling from his mouth was the white stick of a lollipop, his full lips red and tacky from the sweet candy. The first few buttons of his uniform shirt were opened, revealing a glimpse of his chest and collarbones. Y/N had to stop himself from staring at his soft skin and imaging the warmth of it beneath his lips again.

“I was in John’s office,” Michael said with a devious smirk, calling the man by his first name instead of John Henry Moore or, simply, Moore like the other students. “I was getting some extra help.”

He watched as Michael twisted the stick around in his fingers, his cheeks slightly hollowing as he sucked on candy. John Henry had a bowl of candy at the corner of his desk that no one ever touched, too nervous from being called into his office from what most assumed was to be chastised. Y/N figured it was just there to make his dark and bleak office seem more inviting.

Michael, on the other hand, spent a lot of time in the man’s office. Everyone already noticed, but walking through the halls with the lollipop dangling from his mouth, he was curing everyone’s curiousity. The undone buttons that gave the professor (and everyone else) a glimpse of what he was missing was a bit of a sign too. Michael Langdon lacked any kind of subtlety.

“Like you need extra help,” Y/N scoffed under his breath, looking back down at his book, aimlessly flipping through the pages. He couldn’t focus on any of the words, his senses already flooded with all things Michael.

“Just in a few ways,” Michael shrugged, leaning back and noisily pulling the lollipop from his mouth. He was so close that his roommate could smell the sugary treat on his breath.

“Right.” Y/N decided not to press any further, not being too keen on hearing the details about how Michael seduced the poor, lonely professors around Hawthorne. It was sickeningly easy for him and had become a hobby.

“Besides, he wasn’t much fun today.” There was a bit of a whine in Michael’s voice as he scooted closer, closing what little of a gap there was between them in the first place.

“So you decided to come here because?” Y/N said, his eyes drifting away from the pages of his book to Michael’s thigh that was now pressing against his own, trying his best not to squirm.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I interrupting something?” Michael retorted, cocking his head to the side and looking very unconvinced that Y/N could be doing anything better at the moment.

“No, I just-” he started to say but was quickly cut off when Michael grabbed the book that sat in his lap and dropped it to the floor, too quickly for Y/N to stop him.

“Exactly.” Michael sat back, slipping the lollipop back into his mouth. “What were you trying to do with that book anyway? Learn how to summon a boyfriend?”

Y/N rolled his eyes at Michael’s weak jab. “If that was the case, I could just ask you since you do it so well.” It was true, he couldn’t believe the amount of boys at that school followed Michael around like puppies who hadn’t been fed for days.

Michael chuckled under his breath, “I don’t need magic for a boy to get in my bed. They just… come.” He tilted his head, a smirk pulling on his lips.

Y/N watched the way that word just rolled off his tongue, causing his stomach to tighten and his breath to get caught in his throat. It was so filthy and familiar.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Michael groaned and rutted up into Y/N’s hand, his head thrown back onto his roommates pillow.

Both of their bodies were sticky with sweat, Michael’s pants tugged just far enough down his thighs for Y/N to be able to pull his painfully hard cock from the confines of his boxers.

Their lips were swollen and spit-slick from messy, eager kisses. They were both drunk on their hunger for each other - desperate to just be close to someone, anyone, and to feel their body pressed against them, heaving for breath when it was stolen from each other’s lungs during sloppy kisses.

Y/N worked Michael’s cock skillfully (much to the blonde’s surprise, he didn’t realize his roommate was so experienced) until he was cumming all over his stomach and Y/N’s hand, his uniform shirt already unbuttoned and open to reveal his smooth skin.

Y/N couldn’t get the image out of his head for days of Michael laying in his bed, chest rising and falling with quick breaths, his wavy hair out of place and stuck to his forehead, eyes closed as if he was saying a prayer. “You’re full of surprises, roomie,” he remembers Michael saying, the same smirk on his face like the one now.

He didn’t realize how caught up he had gotten in his own thoughts, his eyes on Michael’s lips and the way he slowly pulled the dwindling lollipop from his mouth. Truthfully, he missed how Michael tasted and knew he’d be even sweeter now with the sugar on his lips.

“Open,” Michael whispered, their bodies close enough for Y/N to hear him clearly.

He did as he was told, wetting his lips with his tongue before parting them. Michael brought the pink candy to Y/N’s mouth, his blue eyes following as he slowly dragged it along his bottom lip, the tip of his tongue getting a taste as his mouth watered.

Cherry.

Michael eased the candy into the other boys mouth, amused at how eager he was to close his lips around it. Y/N ran his tongue over it, his mouth filling with the sticky, sweet flavor and he took the stick of the lollipop in his fingers, making it easier to suck on it.

“Still so easy, roomie,” Michael said teasingly, his voice low and calm.

Y/N rolled his eyes, trying to come off more frustrated than he actually was. Michael had power over him and no matter how hard he tried, he always failed to resist him. He knew that the only reason Michael was in their room right now is because he didn’t have someone else falling to their knees for him and Y/N was an easy target. Michael could give him one look or touch him in the slightest way and he’d be hypnotized, his whole body like putty in the blonde’s hands. He despised himself for being like that.

Michael quickly moved onto Y/N’s lap, his legs on either side of him and his hands going to the boy’s shoulders to steady himself. Raking one hand through his roommate’s hair, he used the other to gently tap on his chin and watched proudly as the boy opened his mouth on command, letting Michael gently pull the lollipop from between his lips. There was barely any candy left, but Michael slipped what remained into his own mouth again, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s flustered face. He hadn’t really gave the boy a good look until now. He liked the way he tried to avert his eyes and how he didn’t know where to put his hands.

“I’m glad I have someone like you to play with,” Michael said, his fingers still combing through the boy’s locks and he gently tugged his head back slightly, watching the way his jaw clenched beneath the skin.

“Only when you’re bored,” Y/N retorted, a little frustration slipping into his tone. He couldn’t tell if he was more annoyed with himself for feeling overwhelmed by Michael’s touch or the fact that Michael just saw him as a sort of play-thing - one of many, that is. He didn’t want to just be a number.

“If you want my company, all you have to do is ask.” Michael ran his free hand up Y/N’s chest, reaching his neck where his fingers traced over his throat, feeling as he thickly swallowed. “I can think of a lot of things that you could be doing besides sitting alone and reading old books.”

“You’re always busy with someone else.” Y/N silently cursed at himself for sounding jealous.

“Yes, but you’re more fun,” Michael hummed, tilting his head and easing the stick of the lollipop out of his mouth, the rest of the candy already dissolved on his tongue. He threw it toward the small trash can beside his roommate’s desk, barely giving it a glance to see if he made it in. “You try to resist me.” Leaning in, Michael nudged his nose against the boy’s jaw, watching the way goosebumps littered his skin when he felt his warm breath on him as he spoke. “And fail,” Michael murmed, nipping at his skin right below his ear (the spot that he knew drove anyone crazy) and Y/N let out a soft gasp, proving Michael’s point even more.

Michael chuckled softly at the boy’s sound, pulling away just enough so that he could watch the way he blushed and how his mouth hung open with eager breaths. Their eyes met and it was as if someone struck a match, fire roaring in both of them as they both lunged forward, crashing their lips into each others’ in a hungry kiss. Y/N melted into Michael, his hands finally finding a spot on his hips and digging his fingers into his uniform shirt as the blonde pulled himself even closer, their chests pressed to each other and Michael’s fingers getting lost in the boy’s hair.

He tasted like cherry. Y/N figured his own lips probably did too.

The kiss didn’t last long. It was intense, teeth clumsily knocking and tugging at lips, but it was brief. Michael was the one to pull away, chest already rising and falling quickly as he reached for the hem of the boy’s shirt, tugging it over his head and tossing it to the floor. Y/N leaned in again, eagerly trying to catch Michael’s lips in another kiss but he ducked away before he could, making him let out a groan.

“Somebody missed me,��� Michael teased as his fingers expertly unbuttoned his uniform, revealing more and more of his skin - skin that Y/N wanted to get his mouth on and cover with marks and bites if Michael would let him.

“Just hurry up,” Y/N huffed, pushing Michael’s shirt off of his shoulders and leaning in, grazing his lips against his neck where there were fading marks left by previous lovers, once hidden by the pristine collar of his shirt. He nipped at one of the spots, almost healed and yellowed beneath the skin, listening to the soft hum that rose from Michael’s chest and vibrated against his own.

Michael loved watching the shift in Y/N. He’d go from being resistant and snarky to desperate and eager, wanting to be as close to Michael as he could instead of far away and ignoring his presence. There was still a bit of snappiness to him but he liked it. He didn’t just completely throw himself at Michael any chance he got, he made him work for it.

Completely tugging off his shirt and letting it fall to the floor, Michael grabbed Y/N by his chin, pulling him away from his neck and back into a rough kiss, his tongue pushing into the boy’s mouth without much resistance. It had been so long since they last kissed and it showed. Teeth were nipping at lips fervently, tongues tasting the left over sweetness from the treat they both shared, hands gripping and scratching bare skin.

Y/N wouldn’t admit it outloud, but while Michael was out exploring all the tastes that Hawthorne had to offer, all he ever tried was Michael. It wasn’t on purpose, but after their first time together like this, he knew that no one else would touch him the way Michael did and he didn’t want to test it out. He was satisfied with the random nights they spent together. He could focus on his studies without being majorly distracted by Michael’s plump lips and smooth skin every night.

But during times like these, Y/N threw any thoughts that didn’t pertain to Michael right out the window. His head was spinning and all he could think about was the boy who was on top of him and pushing him onto his back, trailing sloppy kisses over his jaw and down his neck. His roommate that he had once despised because he was messy and arrogant, who now had a thigh slotted between his own and was eliciting sounds from Y/N that no one else in the world had the chance to hear before. Everything revolved around Michael Langdon.

Y/N glanced down at the mop of blonde hair that was now out of place from his fingers combing through it, trying to catch his breath as Michael kissed down his chest. Every spot where he pressed his lips lit up with warmth, sending shocks to his spine and making him eagerly arch up into Michael’s kisses.

“I was selfish last time,” Michael mumbled against his skin, glancing up at him with those piercing blue eyes that were like no other. “I’m returning the favor.”

His words went straight to the other boy’s cock, a warm blush coating his face and he dropped his head back against his pillows with a soft “fuck”. The memory of Y/N’s hand wrapped around Michael’s length, getting him off with just his touch and a few soft whispers, came flooding back to his mind for the second time that night. Sure, Michael had made him cum before, but it was only ever through layers of clothes, rushed and overeager. He wasn’t expecting Michael to be so determined to make it up to him.

“You don’t have to,” Y/N breathed out, lifting his head and watching as Michael chuckled softly. God, he really wanted to kiss him again.

“You don’t mean that,” he said, running a finger along the prominent bulge in Y/N’s sweatpants, causing him to suck in a sharp breath at the touch.

Of course he meant it but he also wasn’t going to stop Michael from going further. Never had he truly touched him and he would be lying if he said he didn’t think about the blonde’s hands and wet mouth on him sometimes late at night, in the privacy of his own bed without any company.

Michael leaned down, planting wet kisses along the waistband of Y/N’s sweatpants before slipping his fingers into them, pulling them down the other boy’s legs. He let them join the other discarded clothes on the floor, quickly moving between his legs again and mouthing at his roommate’s thighs, giving him gentle bites and nips, just to watch the way he would desperately spread them even more.

“I thought you were more of a receiver than a giver,” Y/N breathed out, one arm bent and resting beneath his head as he watched Michael’s mouth worked against his skin.

The blonde chuckled, his warm breath fanning over the other boy’s skin and sending chills throughout his body. “What would be the fun in that?” He looked up at him as he spoke, his hands running along his thighs and feeling the muscles tense beneath his skin.

Y/N didn’t have an answer for him, mostly because he had hardly been on the receiving end of pleasure and because Michael had began to tug his boxers down his thighs, his cock hard, flushed and sensitive to the cool air.

“Fuck, roomie. Why have you been hiding this from me?” Michael mumbled at the sight of the boy’s cock, a groan coming from his throat as he wrapped his hand around his length, precum already slugging out from his sensitive tip and onto Michael’s knuckles.

Too distracted by the foreign feeling of someone else’s touch, Y/N couldn’t bring himself to reply but instead bit down hard on his bottom lip to suppress any embarrassing noises. His eyes fluttered closed as Michael started to pump his hand, missing the sight of him spitting into his fist to lubricate his movements.

It only took a few moments for the boy’s breathing to pick up and whimpers to draw themselves from his chest at Michael’s skillful movements of his hand. What Y/N didn’t expect was the wet warmth that suddenly enveloped the leaking head of his cock, glancing down to see Michael’s lips wrapped around him and his blue eyes looking up at him, half lidded and darker than he had seen them.

Reaching down, he slotted his fingers into Michael’s blonde hair and took hold of his locks between them. He wanted to push him all the way down and feel his length hit the back of his throat, but he was nowhere near brave enough for that.

Instead, Michael took his time. Running his tongue along the underside of the boy’s cock, languidly swirling his tongue around his tip, dragging his plump, slick lips against his skin just to tease. Y/N’s head was spinning - as would anyone’s while watching Michael work his mouth so skillfully.

When Michael finally started to lower his head onto his length, Y/N couldn’t suppress his sounds any longer. Moans spilled from his lips as he felt himself reach the back of Michael’s throat, feeling the way his muscles contracted as he willed himself not to choke (Michael was proud to not have a weak gag reflex).

The boy’s grip on Michael’s hair tightened as he started to bob his head, the obscene wet sounds and the blonde’s groans almost enough to send Y/N overboard. That familiar feeling started to seep throughout his body - warmth, electricity, euphoria.

“Why the fuck are you so good at this?” He groaned, throwing his head back and resisting the urge to buck his hips up into Michael’s mouth at the pace he truly wanted.

As if it were his response, Michael bobbed his head a few more times before drawing back and wrapped his lips around the boy’s throbbing head that was threatening to spill at any second. Wrapping his hand around his length again, he quickly pumped it while swirling his tongue - the perfect combination that was enough to draw a long, throaty groan from Y/N, his eyes squeezed shut as he came into his roommates mouth.

Pumping his hand through the boy’s orgasm, Michael swallowed with ease and pulled off of his cock messily, wiping his swollen, cum slick lips with the back of his free hand. He watched as Y/N started to come back, his jaw unhinged and his breathing still heavy.

“Okay, okay,” Y/N breathed out, squirming at Michael’s touch as he started to become sensitive. Laying there, his eyes exhaustedly shut and trying to catch his breath, he felt the weight shift on his bed and lost the feeling of Michael’s touch.

Opening his eyes, he watched as Michael stood beside his roommates bed and started to unbutton his uniform pants which he had yet to take off.

“Give me a minute, I don’t think I can-“ Y/N started to say tiredly as he pulled his blanket over his bare body but was quickly cut off.

“What?” Michael chuckled. “So you get to be the only one who is comfortable? These pants are terrible,” he said as he pushed them down his legs and let them pool on the floor. Y/N quickly realized that Michael didn’t have anymore provocative intentions and he let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure if he could handle another orgasm that intense.

“Move over,” Michael said, pulling back the blanket of the twin sized bed as he climbed in next to the other boy. Reaching down beside the bed, he grabbed the book that he had taken from Y/N earlier and held it out to him.

“Here. Teach me something I don’t already know,” he said amusingly, receiving a playful eye roll from his roommate as he took the old book from him.

Y/N was anything other than annoyed though. Never had Michael stayed in his bed after their moments together like this and it made his cheeks and neck flood with a warm blush. There was hardly room on the small mattress for both of them, but he wasn’t complaining about being this close.

Letting the book fall onto the blankets, Y/N reached over for Michael instead. Resting his hand on his cheek, he leaned in and connected their lips before he could think twice about it. If there was ever a moment to go with his gut feeling, he knew that now was probably it. He didn’t know the next time he’d have the opportunity.

Michael reciprocated, kissing him back but this time it was more gentle, no need to rush or be forceful with each other. Michael pulled Y/N closer, his bare body flush against Michael’s, and they stayed like that for what could’ve been a few minutes or an hour. They weren’t keeping up, just getting lost in the gentle feeling of each other’s lips and tongues. 

Pulling away slightly and nudging his nose against the boy’s, Michael mumbled, “What was that for?” 

“I’m returning the favor,” Y/N said quietly, quoting Michael from earlier and receiving one of his famous, devilish smiles. The next moment they were back to kissing, hands exploring each other and legs tangled up with each other’s beneath the blankets, wanting to stay like that for the rest of the night.

- 

tags: @dudesorriso @silkyhoneybaby @avesatanaslangdon @lucifer-owns-this-pussy @sodanova @wastelandkitties @heelsamizayn @lovely-langdon @langdonpilots @cryptid-coalition @cherryberryann @omnipotentdemoness @marzipan-romanoff @featherpool-852  @slasherloversposts @wroteclassicaly  @01-800-mary @mcenziehughes @kylolangdon @kinlovecody @sammythankyou @antichristinq @queencocoakimmie @lathraios @venusxxlangdon @lvngdvns @avesatanormalpeoplescareme

[kay-is-krazy]

Literally No Title

Please help

Idk what I’m doing

This is a fanfic

Deanxreader kinda

It needs work sorry

I will hashtag

.

.

.

.

.

Damp. Everything that surrounds you is damp. As you start to come to, you smell the stench. Sulfar. Confused, you try to open your eyes, brows furred as the light tries to chase away your sight. Your adrenaline pushes you to figure out where you are. Looking around weerily, you notice the familiar iron door. Your parents old farmhouse storm cellar. Opening and closing your eyes making sure this is what you're actually seeing. It's been years. Decades even since you've seen these walls. Theyre different now. Moldy, but with cobwebs. You start to realize you're strapped down on the old iron table you used to eat spaghettios on when the tornados hit. No use in trying to squirm your way to topple over. Your father bolted it down in the cement. How did you get here. As you push and strain yourself to remember, the door opens. A tall red flannel emerges, and you go cold...

Life wasn't always fighting monsters, and saving people. You had a family of your own, until the vampire mafia ripped in to town destroying everything in their path, including your home and everyone in it. You still remember their screams as you fled into the woods. Revenge is a choice you have to make, and it sure was a hell of a ride. In this life, you run into auhtorities, but very little hunters like yourself. After bumping into the Winchesters working a werewolf case, they sort of took you under their wing. Noticing you needed guidance, before you ever could. You were in constant rage, before meeting the boys. Searching for answers, and never being satisfied with the kill. It all blurred into a blood bath of vengence. A lot of trust, losses, and whiskey, but you found a new family. You need them as much as they need you. And just recently, it was Dean needing saving.

The mark had completely consumed him. Being the hero, the guinea pig, has led him to be desperate in saving the world. You knew he was always staying strong, putting on a good face for Sam, but deep down, he is slightly broken like the rest of you. His hope depleted as the mark's strength took over his judgement. He was like you were before they saved you, scared and fuming with anger. You're just trying to return the favor before he hurts anyone else, especially his brother Sam.

After months of research, you found something. Slight chance of hope in fixing Dean. Confiding in Sam, he decides to look for it himself. The word of God. Once touched by a demon, it is said to purify them. No one has seen it in over 100 years, but you got a lead. The only thing that's near impossible is finding Dean. So time to draw him out... He wants a fight, you'll bring him a fight.

Scrounging up as many demons as possible, making sure they're alive but bleeding, you make a devils trap and wait. You heard through demon grapevine, that Dean can sniff them out. He's the big bad now. Being a demon himself, he hates them even more, if that makes sense.

But your plan didn't work. There have been plenty of close calls while working on the job, but this wasn't just a regular monster case. It was so much more, and there's a lot at stake. You realize why you're scared. You're in a situation even you can't get out of alive. Fear sets in as Dean walks closer. Each step like a predator closing in on it's prey. That red shirt, being even more red than usual.

He smirks, “Welcome back sunshine. Thought I killed you too soon”.

Your head is pounding as you try to look at your body. Realizing its broken, bruised, and bloodied, you must have put up a fight.

“Oh that, sorry, I couldn't help myself. After I knocked you out, I had some fun.” Your heart is beating so fast as if it is going to jump out of your body. The last thing you want is for him to see you afraid. You try to muffle out his name, but your voice is hoarse. “Please don't speak, I don't want my ears to bleed as you plead with me.... or on the other hand, I'd love to hear you beg for your life”, he whispers the last part in your face.

Wincing at his words, you turn your head, and say “You're not you right now. We'll fix this, Dean.”

He puts his hands on your chin, for a second you think it's him. His oversized, warm strong hands that wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was unnatural.The ones who taught you martial arts, and the ever so famous air guitar. But looking into his eyes, noticing they are lacking the softness, they flicker, and those green eyes are no longer. Black eyes, and his hands smell of sulfar. “There's nothing to fix sweetheart, I'm better than ever.” he jerks his hand away making your head turn to face him. As he walks to the door to open it, you yell out, “Just get it over with and kill me already!” He stops, turns his head just so you can see his profile, and scoffs. Walking out, and leaving you alone once again.

Wondering where Sam is, you try to squirm free from being tied up.Your fastens on your wrist have some wiggle room. Using the pointiness of your sister's ruby class ring on your left hand, you try to cut the leather bands. It's going to take hours, but you're not giving up yet. You know there are only two ways out of this, and you'll be damed if you don't fight.

'Pour some sugar on me' plays from your cell phone. Sam's calling you, the signature ringtone for drunk, fun Sam. Reminding you of the nights at the roadhouse, playing the same G43 on the old jukebox driving Dean insane. While Sammy and you sang until your voices were unrecognizable.

The door opens, and you straighten up, not making a move to let Dean know you've been trying to break free. There's a cart that he's pushing inside, full of old kitchen utensils, some tools from a shed, and a few of Dean's things from the trunk of his Impala that have been missing since the mark took him over.

“I know you and Sam have been looking for me, trying to save me. I'm going to show you how much I don't want or need you two around. Lets send Sammy a message, hm?” He walks over to your jacket with your cellphone in it. Dean throws it in the air and catches it. Holding it like a gun, making fake noises pretending to shoot you. “Glad to see you havent lost your adolescent behavior”, you say, “I know you're still in there Dean”.

He puts your phone down on the cart, picking up a rusty knife used for cutting fish. “But I'm not, and I'm going to prove to you just how wrong you are about me.” He cuts your cheek, and you feel the skin break open, stinging.

“You can hurt me all you want, you'll just be hurting yourself.” You say and spit in his face. The dark smirk scurries from his face, and you know what's coming next is worst.

The torture that he tortured you with only stems from Hell. Picture after picture taken and sent to Sam. The laughing, the darkness, and the insults coming from him, you start to lose hope that Dean is even in there. You keep reminding yourself that demons lie. Not believing anything DemonDean says, even though you desperately want it to be true. The remarks about how he used to think about you like a little sister until a couple years ago when you got stood up on a date with some guy named Brett. Thinking back from a different perspective now, you realize Dean was the one there who saved you from getting kicked out of the restaurant for using up a table. Waiting for some loser you met online, but seeing Dean sitting down across from you, feeling a sense of clarity and sureness. But now ever since he's turned into something evil, he doesn't feel a thing at all for you or Sam.

In and out of consiousness, you decide you wouldn't give up on him. Even though your body is mangled, you keep pushing.

“Dean, this isn't the path your mother would have wanted. You have to know that. You don't want to let her down or she'd died for nothing.” You plead and try, but he slaps you hard in the face. The hit seemed personal, as if you were getting somewhere with him. You reason, “Isn't family what brings people together, it's what brought us together. Aren't we family, you could let me go, and Sam and I can help you see the light again. Just like your mom used to say right? The light will guide you home. Come home Dean!” Another blow to your head. He knocks you out again.

As you come to, Dean is reaching for the blade. He's actually going to use it on you, kill you. Coming to terms with your fate, you start to hum and mumble 'simple man by lynryd skynrd'. It was always your favorite. It was everyones favorite. You figured it was a good enough song to go out to. You peek open your eyes as much as you can. Throbbing and seeping blood, you're finally able to see Dean stop and stare at you. He drops the blade, looking down at the mark and then back at you. His face twisted, unsure of what is reality. You don't stop singing. Second verse, he's closer now. A single tear rolling down your face; knowing if he ever came back, got the mark off, he wouldn't forgive himself. Even when he's unable to save someone on a job, he's hard on himself. You can't imagine what he'll feel like, so you pity him.

He's closer now, hands around your throat. He's trying to fight you and himself. The pain and anger in his eyes turns black, then normal again. You look him straight in those familiar faint green eyes, and say your final words, “I forgive you.” The world goes dark.

Heaven was always described as 'your own personal paradise'. You're wondering why yours is in a hospital. White walls and curtains. The coldness in your nose suprises you. Who knew paradise would be so cold, gray, and foggy. Nothing was easy to make out, but you could definitely tell it was a hospital. You hate hospitals, confused as to why you're heaven isn't what you expected, you look around to see if there is a recognizable face. Hoping for maybe your Dad, Mom, or sister.

No one. There's a loud beeping noise and you look up to see a monitor. Looks like the vitals of a dead man. You start to wonder maybe God put you in the wrong paradise. So you pray. But words don't come out, and you drift back into the dark.

Blinking once, then twice, then several times. The light is bright. You can tell it's daytime. Still the same Heaven as before, but this time you feel everything. The pain, the tenderness. You remember, and know that you're not dead. Relieved, but still uncertain, you try to move. Expecting straps to hold you back, your right arm goes flying in the air. Not used to being free. You look down at your body. It's bandaged and braced. A mountain of a man peeks through the curtains. You have instant relief when you recognize Sam. He has the 'poor puppy eyes' look, and you put your hand on his. He grips it tight, but gentle enough. The gentle giant. Trying to let out a smile, a shadow lurks behind Sam. Instant fear as you realize it's Dean. Panic sets in, and your body cannot handle it. The monitors go off, you see Sam try to calm you down, and Dean sneaking away, head down, disgraced with himself. Nurses rush in with the Doctor to make sure you're okay. Tears well up in your eyes. You somehow cannot forget what Dean has done to you.

Weeks in the hospital, the only visitor you had was Sam. Trying to keep your spirits up, he shows you all of his research following up on possible cases. Between playing cards, reading books, and making fun of the new Taylor Swift song, you ask Sam, “How is he?”, and each answer is the same. “No better, no worse,” Sam replies. After the panic attack, Dean thought it best if he didn't show his face anymore to you. Once healed, you were allowed to go home as long as you didn't saw off the leg brace, and practice using the crutches. Knowing how stubborn you are, Sam rolled his eyes, and promised to watch over you.

Happy to finally break out, you laugh as you fumble with the crutches. Sam lets out a worrisome smile. “I'm fine Sam. Really.” You look up to him and give him a carefree toothy grin. Throwing all of your things into the impala, because Sam refused to drive “that stupid pink truck”, you beg Sam to let you pick the music.

Pulling up to the bunker, your stomach sinks a little. You know you'll have to face Dean eventually. Fogiving is easy for you, but forgetting is a whole other learning curve. Never being the one to admit you're wrong first, or facing real problems, you know it's somehting that needs to be worked on. Staring off into the distance a bit, Sam pulls you out of it as he opens the door. “We're stocked up on all your favorite foods, drinks, and even have Netflix!” He says, nudging you arm and attempting a playful laugh.

Weeks of healing, you finally are able to get up into your truck. You need some air, and desperately needed to get away. The outside world was calling your name, so were the pink wheels on that old ford. First hours, days, then weeks went by, and not a single glance from Dean. No words, no contact. Ignored you completely. Anytime you tried to reach him, asking to grab a drink at the dirty bird bar, to researching a simple ghost job, he pushed you away. You spent so much time in your room with your thoughts. Trying not to think about the event that almost ended you, and most importantly the relationship with Dean. Even Sammy has started treating you differently like you're broken. After Sam telling you to stay home again, while they hunt monsters, you'd had enough. Weekend getaway to a cabin in the woods. You leave your phone on your nighstand and decide you need some peace to clear your mind.

“Fill her up,” you say shutting off your truck to get gas. Getting out to grab snacks from inside, a long lost friend appears. Not able to look away from the light, he shields your eyes for you. You forgot how enchanthing the bright white was. “Cas what are you doing here?” You ask as you looks at you stearnly.

“I was told to keep a tab on you, and you left the bunker. So I'm here to bring you back.” He says reaching for your arm.

“Under who's orders?!” You demand. Not letting him answer you back away and say, “The boys? Really can't even get some fresh air!” Clearly angry, you hit your tailgate. Cas immediatley lays his hands on you to heal you. Being an angel has it's perks. But you wanted to feel something, Cas didn't exactly understand what being human was really like.

Brushing his hand away, you try to reason with him. “Go back to the bunker, grab my phone, and bring it to me. That way I have it on me in case I need anything. I'm still going on my very needed trip. What I don't need is a babysitter” Before you could blink twice, Cas had your phone in hand. “Do not turn this off and always keep this on you.” Rolling your eyes you respond sarcastically, “Thanks Dad. Can I leave now?” Clearly unsure of his decision, Cas side eyes you, but finally nods, and leaves you to your road trip snacking.

The cabin is the same as you left it two summers ago. A couple empty beers scattered, but the rest of the place in neat tidy order. Your mom always liked everything in a specific spot, and you try your best to remember that while staying there. Picking up the bottles to recycle them, you smile and remember the good times spent here with your family, both families. Thinking about the boys, you let out a sigh of relief. Thanking the angels that Sam showed up when he did in the storm cellar that day. The word of God being forcefully put in Dean's hands, purifying him instantly. A bright gold light shining through the brick like object, blasting Dean into Sam. His brother holding onto Dean as he comes to and realizes, he's saved. Sam's words will stay with you forever, that story will stay with you forever. You smile as you remember, you were the one who stalled Dean as Sam had come to the rescue.

“Oh shit!” You say as your line tugs and gets stronger. You were too busy admiring the cotton candy sunset to see your fishing line got a bite. It was a warm afternoon, but turning brisk fast. Fall was settling in, you could tell as the wing picked up every now and then. The trees leaves turning the auburn colors. Setting your beer down, you reel it in, but your bait is completely gone.

“You never were good at fishing.” You quickly stand from a lousy folded plastic chair, and turn around to find Dean, smiling at your loss. Clearly shocked, you ask “What are you doing here? Cas told you didn't he. Lousy friend.”

You put your pole down, and open the cooler to offer Dean a beer. He takes it and slowly sits down on the edge of the dock, feet dangling. You sit down next to him, opening your own beer. “Where's Sam?” you ask.

“Working the case still.” He notices your cocked eyebrow from a side glance. As if he would ever leave Sammy alone, he continues, “It's easy, just some pyscho vengeful ghost.” He sips his beer, straring at the now setting sun.

Getting straight to it, you ask, “Why are you here Dean?” Staring at him, you notice the weariness.

He lowers his head, gripping his beer tight. You see his shoulders move up and down slowly. Sighing heavily, he looks at you, completely looks at you for the first time. It catches your breath, because you have never seen a man so broken, Dean so vulnerable. You can tell he's been fighting with himself, beating himself up over the events that took place. Defeated, face full of hatred for himself, he doesn't say a word. You see his jaw tighten, his temples twitching. Reaching for his shoulder to show trust, but he pulls away shaking his head. “I don't trust myself with you” He musters, as he stands up to walk toward the cabin. Thinking about chasing after him, forcing him to talk, but you can't move. Like cement, you stay planted in your spot. The sun finally sets, but you still sit there, listening to the sound of the frogs.

Grabbing your things from the dock, you head inside. What could you say to make him believe you. Would you believe yourself if you said, “Everything is okay.”? Is it? Inside, you notice Dean is cleaning up what seems to be like the bathroom mirror. Understanding what just happened, you bend down to help and he stops you. Gripping your hands tight, he says “No. You don't need to clean up my mess. Any of my messes.” With a dustpan, he walks to the trash to dump the shards of glass.

“What's that suppose to mean? Am I not allowed to care? To try to save you from yourself?” He winces at the last part.

Turning around to face you, but leaning against the kitchen counter, he looks at you cold and promises, “You will never have to save me again. I will never hurt you or anyone else again.” He looks down and then back up into your eyes, moving towards the door, “You wanna know why I'm here? I came here to say goodbye.”

Stopping him dead in his tracks, you look up at him wondering how you and Sam could even survive without Dean. You start to cry. It's not like you to let anything out, but you stand there, tears pouring out of your face. “No.” was all you could muster up. Very stearn, you said it again, “No.” He grabs you and pulls you in close. Hanging on to eachother, as if it's the last time.

You both stay like this awhile, not realizing it's way over due. “You're not leaving us. We won't let you.” you say confidently, and at this he lets go. He tenses again, trying to be strong, and insists “You and Sammy have to let me go. I've been nothing but trouble. I'm bad. I'm not worth your lives.” Clearly needing reassurance, but not knowing how, you yell, “I went through all of that for nothing?!” Talking with your hands like usual, brows furious now, you continue, “After everything, you still think you're not worth it? Sam and I have done everything for you, for us, for this family.”

He turns his back on you holding back tears, but instead letting out his frustration, “You don't what it's like to need constant saving. I need control of myself, I don't have control.” He yells as he punches the wall. It startles you.

“Oh, I don't know what it's like?” you start, “You don't think that I was ever at a low in my life. What losing my family did to me, the things I did in return. It wasn't until you and your brother, that I finally found solace!” you scoff, “Please you're not the only broken one around here.” Realizing that anger isn't the route to go down, you quietly move toward him. Pushing back the fear that has been dormant, you hold his hand. “We are family.” you say softly. “Family doesnt end in blood.” You wipe away the blood trickling from his knuckle with your shirt.

His hands are shaking now, as he holds them up inching closer to your neck. You flinch, and he tries to pull away. You immediatley grab his hands, and put them to your cheeks, making his squish them together a little. Tears welling up in your eyes, you let out a low, “i'm a little guppy...” It was something you two always did to cheer eachother up. Getting the other to laugh when you're both at a low point has been almost like a game. So far, he's beeing in the lead. Before you can finish, his lips are on yours. Waves of heat roll from your head to your toes, your wet cheeks brushing his scruff, and you give in, even being scared and uncertain. Dean pulls away, looks at you stearn, and says “I'm going to miss you.”

You're still standing not sure of what just happened, and you hear the door slam shut. It seemed as though your feet wouldn't move, but then you finally took a deep breath, turned around and bolted out the door. He was getting in the impala, but before he could jet off, you opened that door and ripped him out. Standing toe to toe, you slap him. That bottled rage unleashes. Then you connect your fist to his face. Unprepared, Dean fell against the car. Shocked at how hard you hit, he starts to realize you're not going to stop, so he holds your hands down. Red in the face from anger, and him red because well there's now blood pouring from his nose, you finally relax so he loosens his rains on you.

“What was that?!” You ask. “Who do you think you are? That is not okay. I am not okay.” Turning around, hands on your hips, shaking your head. Instantly defensive, you gasp, turn to face him, and make sure he knows, “I am not like every other girl. I don't deserve to be treated like any other girl.” He opens his mouth to say something, but you immediatley talk over him, “You're going to have to kill me.” Dean looks at you clearly confused. “Why do I have to kill you?”

Walking back and forth now, you respond, “Over my dead body...You're not walking out on us. Not Sammy, not me. Not our future. People need us, they need you.” Stopping, and turning to face Dean, you say, “I need you. And if you get in that impala, you better have shot me first because I won't stop looking for you.” Walking toward him now, pointing your finger in his chest, you end with “I refuse to give up on you.” At that, he looks down at you, smirks, and responds, “You're stubborn, you know that?” You break a smile, and say “I learned from the best.” Throwing you over his shoulder, he walks into the cabin.

Completely surprised as to what took place last night, you turn around and look at Dean's green eyes. Understanding now, the feelings that were dormant for so long. Realizing now that DemonDean only told the truth to hurt you.You put your hand to his face, brushing his cheek with the back of your finger, and he closes his eyes to just feel your touch. “You're not allowed to leave.” He nods, reaches for your hand with his, and lightly kisses your fingers. “I will never forgive myself...” He says, and you respond instantly, with your pointer finger shooshing his lips, “I forgive you, and will continue to remind you that you're the good guy.” Closing your eyes, thinking about the first time meeting these boys, not knowing how they would change your life for the better, you smile. He rolls you over with ease, and tucks you in close to his warm naked chest. Deep, and grunting, he says your name into your hair. You lift your head a little to let him know you're listening, “hm?” “I don't deserve this” he says, “I don't deserve you.” You respond while picking his hand up moving it closer to your chest, “Neither do I.”

[mithliya]

I'm really interested in hearing more perspectives of radfems from the middle east. If you know of any more I'd really like to know so I can follow them, I'm also curious, what are the biggest differences between sexism in your home country and in England?

@gender-neutral-testes @fakerniba7asbak @bitter-rad-fem @aunt-mimi @shego420 @gcintheme @bitter-rad-fem @27vic, also @inqilabi @ignis-divine-eleison,,, theres like 2 that are actually north african n not middle eastern & theres also 2 that are central/south asian (pakistan & afghanistan).. sadly idk of any others!

i think the biggest difference is i receive far less sexual harassment in England than in Bahrain. whenever i leave my home and walk around in bahrain, i usually get followed by men in cars. they frequently just start circling around the block to keep passing by me and see where my home is, they try to talk to me often, and sometimes just yell stuff at me. one time when i was like 13, there were several boys that were somewhere from 6-10 years old and they were following me in their bikes and calling me a ‘sexy bitch’ in arabic??? literal kids??? they were also smoking cigarettes which was weird. if you don’t wear a hijab, theres a pretty high chance that youll be frequently harassed and branded a ‘whore’ or somehow indecent. u can forget tank tops or t-shirts bc both are showing too much in most villages. the UK is far less conservative.  

in Bahrain, walking alone as a woman is just. a no. and walking with other females isn’t that much protection (many men have chased us and harassed us even if we’re multiple women) so usually when going outside we’d need a male walking with us just to reduce the likelihood of harassment. in the UK, i walk alone all the time and ive hardly ever been harassed. 

in bahrain, theres a lot of rape apologism and shaming women. i was blamed for being raped because it occurred late at night & the guy who raped me was someone i trusted and let into my house, so i was basically blamed for that and they basically said that i was somehow too seductive towards him even tho i was wearing jeans, a jacket, and a very high-neckline top. if you try to prosecute your rapist, theres a huge chance that he won’t receive any punishment at all, and if he does it could be as short as 1 month (one woman was raped in the streets by a strange man and he only received 1 month). on top of that, your entire reputation is destroyed if they find out you were raped, your value as a female is basically non-existent (our value is in our beauty and our virginity, but mostly our virginity). in the UK, ive literally never come across someone who even questioned whether what happened to me was rape or not, it was obvious to them that it was. 

in Bahrain, women having any kind of body hair is very taboo. this includes arm hair, facial hair, leg hair, etc. its not that acceptable to have body hair in the UK, but people definitely care way less about arm hair than in Bahrain. 

in Bahrain, marital rape is not a thing. not as in no one experiences it (i know married women that have experienced it in Bahrain) but it isn’t a crime. if youre married, youre basically viewed as your husband’s property, and this means that he has the right to have sex with you whenever he wants. he legally cannot rape you. that isnt the case in the UK.

hm... i cant rly think of anything else but if there is any particular aspect of sexism youre curious about, feel free to ask me about it! im sure theres a lot more i havent covered 

[placentaur-archive]

why is specter knight the best knight (though more seriously tell me about how you see his relationship develop with plague knight)

see heres the thing both of those questions constitute equally long rants SO shit goes under a cut

[[MORE]]

why specter knight is the best knight (or more accurately, why specter of torment is the best shovel knight campaign):

STORY IT'S GOT SO MUCH STORY AND THE PACING IS ACTUALLY GOOD. both plague of shadows and shovel of hope have story to it too obviously but in SoH the pacing is kinda really..... not good. it's a big cutscene in the beginning and then a lot of meaningful dialogue at the end (not to say that dialogue wasnt good, the ending of SoH is what made me wanna see more of this game and sparked a 6 month hyperfixation). but like during the main part of the game the plot kinda gets lost. no one in the villages really talks about shield knight or the enchantress (save for a few people who congratulate you on beating a specific knight or the one dude in the armor outpost that says it was taken over by the order which is kinda rlly easy to miss anyway). so unless you're finishing this game fast enough to remember the original first cutscene it's not rlly gonna stick. PoS does a better job with pacing but the story itself is,,,,, not super interesting. it's just a dude who wants to make a potion so he can get super strong and impress his crush. the plot sorta does pick up 2/3s through the game after mona leaves the potionarium but ultimately the game is just About One Thing (SoH is also like this). SoT on the other hand has MULTIPLE plot lines that develop almost simultaneously. you've got specter on a mission to serve the enchantress that develops in the actual levels, you've got donovan's flashbacks to his quest with luan which happens in between levels, and you've got specter dealing with reize when you're in the tower. you could even say red's whole deal is a plot line because eventually if you're good enough at the game he does get his wife back and thEY DO A DANCE FOR YOU AWWWWW. but in the end all these plot lines come together (yes even red's if you collect all the skulls) and it's a big, narratively satisfying, emotionally crushing ending and its GREAT. the way that SoT develops characters that even SoH couldnt (cough cough shield knight) and gives us insight into the past and why things turned out the way they did is like,,,,, it's perfect okay

ALSO YOU GET TO SKATEBOARD ON YOUR SCYTHE HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT

how specter's relationship with plague develops:

I did a thread abt this on twitter a LONG time ago but I'm too lazy to find it bc finding old tweets is even harder than finding shit on tumblr so here's a list of events

- specter and plague dont know each other very well at all, specter just beat plagues ass that one time and now they work together and probably havent spoken since bc they both think the other is kinda weird

- plague during PoS is in the lich yard on his way to beat specter's ass so he can get a thicc thigh goth gf and finds the phase locket aka the locket luan gave specter. except plague doesnt know any of that shit he just finds a relic and hes like "oh cool I can sell this to chester for something useful"

- specter post PoS finds the locket missing and is real mad abt it

- however post PoS is also post SoH which means the tower of fate has fallen and the enchantress is no more which is Bad News for specter bc the enchantress was the only one keeping him alive oh god oh fuck

- so after a lot of back and forth with him, black knight finally convinces specter to go see plague knight bc plague is the only one who might remotely know what to do about this

- specter reluctantly goes to the explodatorium and plague and mona (who he's already kinda friends with so it relaxes him a little) agree to help him out

- somewhere along the line though specter finds out it was plague that took the locket and sold it to chester and now The Bird Man Is Dead To Him and he stops going to see him for help

- plague feels bad about it so he tracks down who has the locket now (shovel knight) and gets it back for specter

- specter gains 2% respect for bird man and when plague asks why the locket is so important to him specter very briefly tells him abt luan (mostly just "it was given to me by someone close to me, that person isnt around anymore so this holds a lot of sentimental value")

- time passes and they start seeing each other more often, even outside of when specter comes for treatment. they start learning about each other more and they learn their insecurities (theyve got shared insecuries about their appearance and their names, both of them are very against taking off their mask around anyone)

- one day specter decides fuck it and tells plague his name. plague can't reciprocate but he appreciates it

- they start taking to hanging out on the roof on what's left of the tower since no one goes there anymore and they can be alone together

- one day specter decides he can show plague his face and once he does plague gets very excited and is like "oH SHIT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT TOO" and rips off his mask without thinking and suddenly they're both just kinda looking at each other and they realize they look a lot more similar than they thought and no one says anything for a few seconds before plague gets nervous and puts his mask back on and the moment is passed

- over time they get more comfortable around each other, specter doesnt mind as much when plague calls him donovan and he can show his face to him when they're in private together (and plague takes off his mask sparingly around him too)

- one day plague decides hes ready to tell donovan what his name is and he begs him not to tell anyone or even use it on him in private. specter says he doesnt have to tell him but plague insists that he wants to (I wont say what it is here bc it's just a dumb hc name and it doesnt really get used at all bc specter mostly just keeps calling him plague kkskgkdg)

- but that level of trust is there now!!! plague tells specter that no one else knows this much about him, not even mona

- and specter realizes he's been keeping information from plague and if they're gonna air everything out then,,,,,,,, well he might as well tell him fully about luan and reize and everything else that happened

-that night is rough for the both of them but it's also cathartic knowing they can trust someone enough to tell them about this

- eventually plague and mona come to the conclusion that to keep specter's soul stabilized they cant keep treating him forever because specter is going to live indefinitely and plague and mona are very very mortal SO the only way to keep him semi permanently tied to this world is to bind his soul to something else

- specter wants to bind his soul to plague knight

- plague is like NONONONONO I am NOT having that responsibility and I am NOT letting you die as soon as I do and convinces him to bind his soul to the phase locket instead

- I haven't talked about him at all here but by now specter is definitely dating propeller and has been for a while so whether u wanna see plague and specter as dating or just super close friends is up to u anyway I love these idiots thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[praphit]

The End: (Spoiler Free!)

I promise! NO SPOILERS! Though, I must say, if you're trying to avoid spoilers, you're currently doing a terrible job of it.

Plus, you havent seen it yet? What's wrong with you?! Quit fooling around with me and go now!

But, I digress.

"Part of the journey is the end"

We never want anything good to end. We never want anything to end badly.

I would say that this movie is about how we journey more so than how we end, but I'll get to that later.

Let's start off by paying homage to the beginning:

RDJ (Tony Stark)

- This dude had fallen off the map (at the time) - he had fallen off the wagon, the wall, the chain, the train, the mountain... if one could fall off of it, he was doing so , but Marvel put their confidence in him. No one knew how successful this whole thing was going to be. Not only were they trying to sell us a previously precarious actor, but a character who's a self-centered asshole... who profited off of war.

But, BOOM, Iron Man showed us that being an asshole could look good and make a lot of money.

CAPT AMERICA

- played by Chris Evans who had already failed as a superhero. 

But, more than that, just look at Capt

He looks ridiculous. He's corny. A lil self-righteous. And who fights with a frickin shield? He was a military man, so he has access to all kinds of weapons (not to mention all that I'm sure Tony Stark would make for him), but nope! - he says "Gimme me a shield; that's all I need!" In fact, that's a lil cocky now that I think about it. Plus, they had just showed us that being rich asshole was the way to go, now this (the opposite)?

BUT, America is short on solid leadership. We're crying out for someone to consistently believe in; not perfection, but someone who's at least all in. Marvel gave us that in Capt. Over time, we grew to love this man. Not to mention, that beard he rocked, 

and the ass of America (you’ll get that later).

Idk about y'all, but I'd follow Capt anywhere. If Chris Evans were to dress up like Capt America, and recruit people for a war (any war), I'd legit go! He IS Captain America to me.

SCARJO as Black Widow... how do I put this?

In the beginning, she was simply a pair of boobs in tight black. 

Now, I don't mean that's actualy what she was, but that's how many saw her. Black Widow carried with her the power to be objectified, and not just by men. I can remember when there were rumors that women in the industry were jealous of Scarjo, saying she's only getting quality roles cuz she's a pretty face.

She proved the doubters wrong though. She is and has been a great actress! Black Widow is seen now with the respect that she has always deserved. Honestly, if I can't have Capt lead me, my second choice is Widow.

We can go on and on, right??

HULK - we had two Hulk failures before Mark Ruffalo, but he has played him perfectly, and they finally got the Hulk right.

Hawkeye... 

Well, I kinda feel like his superpower is being lame, so that's ok :) There's one in every group. And can we all agree that bow and arrows as a main weapon is just stupid? Dude, there are people shooting guns at you! You've gotta take the time to pick out the correct arrow, aim, and... you know what?? never mind. He's Black Widow's boy, so he's alright with me. And it adds to my point that no one knew this would work.

And who knew that Chris Hemsworth would end up being their comedy anchor??

I never thought the Thor movies would work. I never thought that The Avengers movie would work (no way they could make all of the characters work together in a movie), but I have never been so wrong:)

We've laughed with them and cried with them, and were brought to the end by Thanos' snap with them. 

I can still remember what the theatre felt like after leaving "Infinity War" - people felt lost, confused, and kinda angry Not me of course, I was that jerk rooting for Thanos:) In "Infinity War" we got to see Thanos' side of the war. He doesn't see himself as a villain. I agree with his philosophy of balance.

Now, I would never choose him over The Avengers. I feel like the Avengers would make good bosses. They'd have bonuses, allow for a union (maybe), and definitely have pizza parties. Thanos might appreciate my loyalty and sacrifice me (literally) for higher production in the same breath.

One might say "Why not use the stones to create more resources?" I'd reply "But, then we don't learn anything."

The team definitely learned some hard lessons here. But, that brings us to this part of the journey "The End" -

Who do you blame? Do we just look at Thanos as the villain? Do we go with "Shit Happens"? A will of a higher power? Or are the Avengers culpable in anyway? It's all up for debate.

Anyway,

I break down this movie into four acts -

1 - ? (something I won't share:) 2 - Dealing with loss 3 - Hope 4 - Action (most of it is saved for the end - this is mainly a drama)

FIRST, the act I won't be talking about. Instead... many had theories and wishes going into this film, allow me to share some of mine.

I was hoping for a revelation that Thanos has been Stan Lee the whole time.

He rips off his mask in Mission Impossible fashion. We find out that he did the snap to get rid of characters that he really didn't care for. The Avengers respect Stan so much that they don't try to fight him, instead they simply move on. In doing so, Tony and Capt America realize their love for one another. Tony decides he'd rather marry Capt over Potts (his current fiance). This makes Potts furious and she storms off.

They have a big wedding with a shawarma reception. The ants from Ant Man perform at the wedding. 

Meanwhile, Potts teams up with Thanos aka Stan Lee, they gather all of characters forgotten in each series:

Natalie Portman, Jennifer Connelly (not her fault that old Hulk movie sucked), Terrance Howard... so on and so forth.

Stan Lee, Potts, and the scorned attack The Avengers, and there's an epic battle to bg music by Drake. 

PERFECTION RIGHT?!! I'm not saying that any of that happens, but I'm not saying that it doesn't.

2nd Act - Loss

Like I said, this is mainly a drama. They do a really good job (as always) at pulling out the humanity in these characters. All of the team are dealing with loss. Some remain strong on the outside, some move on, some move on poorly, some become self-destructive, etc.

The humanity in that is something we can all relate to. Loss is something that we all continue to experience and learn how to cope with every day. They're painting this real picture with a comic book series. Crazy, right??

Big help from great actors though.

RDJ always brings it; no surprise there. But, for me, Chris Evans and Scarjo shine the brightest as far as bringing the drama. Seriously, when Scarjo cries we cry.

Act 3 is about hope.

... even if that hope may be false. Again the humanity brought out in the characters here is what makes it work. Hope is an interesting thing -  Some deny it, some embrace it, some don't want it, some twist it, etc.

And again the acting and writing in this area is superb. I include the writing as well, cuz they know how to blend in humor with all of this tragedy. Chris Hemsworth is the man here! He is the rock of comedy in this movie. And I can't say enough about Mark Ruffalo - in fact I've knighted him as one of my dads. He's perfect for the role, but don't you also just want to play catch with him?

I just want to go to a ball game with Mark Ruffalo; am I alone in that? - probably:)

Lastly, we have act 4 - ACTION

And while this is mostly a drama, they make up for it at the end. Now, Marvel has that formula, and they stick to it here. They find everyone they can (who's still alive), CG them up to the max, and toss them in the ring. - And I don't say this in a bad way. Sometimes, the big CG ending in these types of movies ends up being a lil overwhleming or not well thought out, but not here - the writing and the choreography and the CG continue to hold up through the end.

The funny thing about all of the people that they throw in is some of them you probably won't even remember. Some of them don't have any lines - you just see them fighting in the background. Some people only show up to stand there in silence (what an easy day of work).

Everything leading up to a fitting poetic end.

Grade: A

The end was dope, but it's all about the journey, baby! We don't have too much control over when or how the story is going to end. You never know what could happen: sickness, drivers who simultaneously text, aliens (honestly, that's how I wanna go... battling aliens), our doppelgangers eliminating us and stealing our identities (a growing concern for most), ghosts...

I came across this pic while looking for ghosts 

- THAT is a sexy ass ghost. Cheer up, fellah, I think she digs you! If ghost start killing people by means of paranormal sexiness, perhaps I'd sign up. If only we got to decide how we go.

But, no one talks about the end of our lives, people reflect on the life journeyed  - unless you die in some hilarious manner

Some of us will be like Iron Man - starting out an asshole, but becoming a hero.

Some like Groot - your life gets blown up and you get to start fresh

Some will become something a bit mutated due to the sins of others

Some will get tagged on to the adventures of others cuz they shine so brightly :)

Still others will start lame, get lamer, and die lame :)

Hell of a movie. It's been a hell of a journey. Thanks, Avengers peeps!

[writeanapocalae]

A Detective in Junction

Read it on Ao3 | Chapter 1: Diving Back In 

Warning: This is a Sequel to A Doctor in Union and may not make sense out of order

Sebastian groaned, glaring at his phone where it sat on the bedside table, lit up and buzzing and waking him. He slept lightly, napped through parts of the day, and there were many nights in which he didn’t sleep at all. He’d only barely fallen asleep. He should have ignored it,  wrapped an arm around Stefano’s shoulders and gone back to sleep. No one ever texted him though, there had to be a reason for it.

He picked it up, the air chilly against his arm. Stefano grumbled in his sleep, if he was asleep, as the cold traveled down his back from the shift in blankets. The phone didn’t tell him much when he answered it.

‘Located JO. -JK’

His glare deepened, not understanding the code. The phone number wasn’t one that he recognized. For a moment he considered it a joke, especially because of the JK, but then his brain turned on fully and he bolted up out of bed, and there was no way that Stefano wasn’t awake after that.

He had to go. He had to go now.

He called the number back, even as Stefano groggily pulled himself up into a sitting position, a hot hand soft on his back.

“Where is he?” Sebastian gritted out, the sleepiness still in his voice, making it play-doh and slow.

“I don’t know if I should say it over the phone, otherwise I would have texted the coordinates,” Kidman sounded tired but in the way that she hadn’t slept yet. Sebastian could hear people in the background, lots of people.

“I thought you said Mobius was gone.”

“It is, but that still leaves a lot of other people out there wanting the technology. I haven’t even made it to the facility yet; I’m just hoping that I’ll be the first one to enter it.”

A panic was starting to grow in Sebastian’s chest, his heart pounding. Stefano was rubbing circles against his shoulder blade, trying to calm him. Joseph, found and possibly alive. He’d been hoping, he wasn’t a praying man but he’d considered it a few times, for Joseph to be alright. He definitely wasn’t alright but he was, possibly, salvageable. This was the first he’d heard anything about Joseph since finding out he was even alive.

“Where are you?” he switched tactics.

“I’m at the airport in Chattanooga, Tenessee.”

Sebastian pulled out of Stefano’s hold and out of the bed, dragging his jeans on from where he’d dropped them the night before. Stefano was shadowing him, which he did so well now that he was healthy enough to move on his own, silent in the darkness. If he hadn’t been there when Stefano got better, he would have been terrified of the change.

“I’m on my way.”

“We’re on our way,” Stefano corrected. Sebastian looked at him, seeing only the light of his phone reflecting in Stefano’s eye and nothing more.

“Text me when you get here,” Kidman hung up.

“So, where are we off to in the middle of the night?” Stefano asked, scooting past Sebastian for his cane and then over to the light switch, making them both half blind with light.

“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Sebastian grabbed a shirt and threw it on, not even looking at what it was. “And I need you here, to watch over Lily.”

Stefano opened a drawer in his dresser, pulling out a pair of dark olive slacks. “You sound as if it’s some sort of emergency and you should know by now that I don’t intend to make you go through something like that on your own. We can get a sitter for Lily.”

Sebastian paused a moment, uncertain. He was fairly certain that he’d never mentioned Joseph to Stefano. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t. Joseph had been such a huge part of his life and when he was gone, Sebastian had fallen into the worst depression of his life, not that he could claim all of that was on Joseph’s apparent death.

“It’s two in the morning,” Sebastian grumbled.

“Well, can it wait until an actually humane time of day then?” Stefano slipped into a pale yellow dress shirt, “You’re going to have to explain to both of us what’s going on, after all.”

“Yeah, yeah, shit, I’m sorry,” Sebastian rubbed at his face. “Yeah, I’ll tell you in the morning. I’m just, I’m going to get ready in the mean time. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”

Stefano nodded but didn’t get undressed. He moved with Sebastian in silence, packing along with him. He noted the low amount of clothing that Sebastian was packing and followed suit, as if he knew that there wouldn’t be much need for a change of clothes in whatever adventure Sebastian was going on. Sebastian wanted to give in, to tell him right then what was happening. He didn’t want to go over it twice though. He didn’t want to argue with Stefano right yet, even though he knew that this would lead to that. He didn’t want Stefano going with him, didn’t want him ever falling into STEM again.

By the time morning came and Lily was awake he was a jumbled pile of nerves, no matter how softly Stefano touched him, pressing kisses to his temple and sliding his hand along his back whenever he could. The moment that Stefano left him to go downstairs, to prepare breakfast and get coffee going Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to breathe, trying to think. He’d been thinking all night but he still didn’t have any idea what he was going to say, how he was going to say it.

He went downstairs a few minutes later, finding Lily and Stefano at the dining room table talking about something in hushed tones. Lily looked nervous and he couldn’t read Stefano at all, even though he could see much more of his face than he used to, Stefano getting more comfortable with his hair being a bit shorter on the right side of his face.

“There you are,” Stefano gave him a soft smile and Sebastian’s chest tightened, the anxiety swelling. He couldn’t do this to them, not when they’d all gotten settled in. He didn’t want to do this at all, but he owed it to Joseph, didn’t trust anyone to go in there in his stead. “Would you mind alluding us on what had you so worried last night?”

Sebastian sat in his seat, a cup of coffee and a plate of toast and eggs already waiting for him. He sighed. They were so good to him, too good. They didn’t deserve any of this.

“Kidman texted me last night,” he said, not lifting his head to make eye contact. “She found my old partner, back from KCPD, in an abandoned Mobius facility. He’s over in Tennessee and I-

“And you intend to go there and fish him out, is that it?” Stefano interrupted, his cup hiding his face. “This would be Joseph, correct?”

Sebastian balked.

“I told him about Uncle Joseph,” Lily raised a hand meekly. “You went into the bad place with him the first time, right? You think he’s still in there or do you think he’s a bad guy now?”

Sebastian looked from Lily to Stefano, his mouth still open. “You knew about him?”

“Lily used him as an excellent teaching tool to explain your sexuality to me,” Stefano waved the question off. “You do realize that there is no way that you’re going alone, correct?”

“You’re not coming with, neither of you,” Sebastian glared, trying not to let any real anger shine through, “Kidman will be there, I’m not going to be alone. And no, I don’t think he’s Mobius. He’s probably still in STEM.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Stefano placed his coffee on the table, crossing his arms. “I am going with you.”

“You lost enough to STEM,” Sebastian shook his head, “and to Mobius. When I said you’re never going back there, I meant it.”

“And miss your reunion with your boyfriend? I think not. Sebastian, you lost far more to Mobius then I did; I lost most of what I had before I ever went to them. I do not intend to lose you to them as well! Do not forget, as well, that I had a great deal of power in Union, that I understood how to bend through the logic of that place. I would be irreplaceable to you.”

“I’m eleven years old!” Lily added, “I don’t want to come with but I’m old enough to watch out for myself! I think you’ll do way better together than you would alone! Buddy systems and all that!”

They were teaming up on him and not in the way that he’d expected. He’d thought that they’d both be against him going at all. They must have both known how much Joseph meant to him, which didn’t make any sense to him, Stefano didn’t seem like the kind of person who would be willing to share him, especially not in a romantic sense. He found himself smiling, the anxiety not gone but the anxiety for their responses at least drowned out.

---

The airport was busy and it was hard to get through the crowds with their suitcases and the cane that Stefano hated so much. He pretended he didn’t rely on it as much as he really did but, after a few hours on a cramped airplane his legs felt weak and stiff. He wanted to hold Sebastian’s hand, not the cane, but he rested against it with each step.

He could feel anxiety prick at him, a thick buzzing in his veins, an urge to stop and breathe at the same time that it was propelling him forward. He swallowed it down. He didn’t need it. It wasn’t helpful. Sebastian needed him to be strong right then. He didn’t know if he could be. He kept thinking about going back down, wondering if he would wake up this time, since he’d barely been able to last time. He’d been lucky last time and he’d been lucky every day for the past year; that luck would run out eventually.

Sebastian raised an arm and Stefano jumped, not expecting it. Sebastian was on his bad side, which he did when he was nervous, thinking that Stefano didn’t recognize it. Usually it made him feel safe, having someone he trusted protecting that side, but he couldn’t feel safe now, he couldn’t feel much aside from dread.

Sebastian was waving to a woman, to Juli, who was waiting for them at one of the little cafes that cost a fortune. Stefano had only met her a few times, when he was healing, and he knew that he had made a terrible series of impressions in such a weak and meager state. He held his head higher, tried to be more imposing. He’d come a long way.

She didn’t smile when she approached them, just clutched the briefcase at her side and made sure there was no one watching her. She’d told Sebastian that Mobius was done for, but she was far too paranoid for such a response. He’d say that it made him uneasy, but he was already uneasy.

“I rented a car, come on,” she said, in place of a greeting. They followed her in silence, out of the air conditioning and out into the heat, to a small black car that was so uncharacteristic that it had to be on purpose. She opened the trunk and they both put their bags inside before climbing into the back, Juli driving.

Once they were belted in, Stefano’s cane over his lap, Juli opened the briefcase, pulling out some files and passing them back. Stefano took one while Sebastian had the other two and the car was started and out of the parking lot before they even had them open.

The file that Stefano had was on the Core, a ten year old boy named Jonathon. His last name was a large black stripe. Stefano’s hands started to shake as he read about the boy, about his high scores in standardized tests, about his wealth of empathy, about his love of art. He was just like Lily, even the terminology was the same as what Sebastian had quoted from Mobius. Lily had been taken away in the falsified fire though and, for Jonathon, the opposite was true, the fire had claimed his parents. There was no one to care that he was gone.

Jonathon was written as being clever and artistic, showing great promise but with obsessive traits. Stefano wasn’t reading in too much depth, he didn’t want to know all of the details. This all felt too familiar. He glanced over at Sebastian’s file instead, where he was reading on a young woman, Amber Fairen. She was a romance writer, 25, but none of her stories had ever been published. At the top of the page was the same terminology that was on Jonathon’s, just with a different number: Core Candidate #9.

“Are there multiple Cores?” Stefano asked, reaching out for the other file in Sebastian’s lap.

“Yeah, this is the most experimental version of STEM I’ve ever heard of,” Juli explained. “There’s no people involved, so you aren’t going to have to deal with civilians, aside from the Cores. I guess they saw that there were too many issues with just having a single Core in place and decided to try with three.”

“And the reasoning for there being a child?” Stefano continued. Sebastian was only half listening but he perked up at that, anger flashing over his features.

“Same reason as with Lily. There’s a level of innocence in children that haven’t been exposed to trauma and they are impressionable. They’re easy to control and manipulate.”

Stefano reached out to put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. He could see the tension growing in his brow.

“No people though, that’s good, that means that there wont be any monsters, nothing like the Lost.”

Sebastian glanced at him. He swallowed. He’d never seen Sebastian so angry and he couldn’t help but feel like it was directed at him. He was just trying to get some answers though, know as much as he could before they went in.

“There’s another major difference, they implied a Lucid Unit for Cerebral Integration,” Juli explained. There was no answer from the two men and she paused, her eyes trained on the road before she went into it, collecting her thoughts, “I saw a little bit of the planning for the Luci, but I never saw it used, I didn’t know it was completed. It’s a sort of artificial intelligence that was put in place for ease of cataloging and mapping STEM, since the map could be changed by the Cores at any time. They’re also used to report any errors to the Mobius members who would enter for testing purposes.”

An artificial intelligence? Stefano had heard that such things were in development but he didn’t think anything like that would be usable so early. Mobius acted as if they were gods though, it was completely possible that they had surpassed the rest of the world by bypassing ethics and other pesky laws.

“You think the Luci could be dangerous?” Sebastian finally spoke up, handing Amber’s file over to Stefano. He didn’t open the next one. Stefano was certain it was Joseph’s.

“I’m not going to say they wouldn’t be. With the way the Cores and the other test subjects have altered the surroundings in the past, I wouldn’t trust anything to be safe really. Just take it slow.”

---

He didn’t think there was a chance, not really. He hadn’t imagined that Joseph could be alive, not after he saw Kidman shoot him, but then he’d gone back in after Lily and Kidman had told him that Joseph was alive. He’d been so distracted though, with rescuing Lily, with getting Stefano out of STEM and then back on his feet, that he hadn’t had time to really think about Joseph. Joseph, who had been in STEM this whole time, had been living in one of these nightmare worlds, with only two other people, who could have been allies or enemies.

He should have tried harder. He should have tried earlier. He shouldn’t have left Kidman to hunt for him on her own.

She pulled up to the facility, which looked like an old water purification building, with mildew growing up the walls and the grass overgrown and a few creeping vines climbing up the sides. Stefano gave him a small smile, a squeeze to the shoulder, before he unbuckled and climbed out of the car. Sebastian sighed, following his lead.

It reeked. It smelled like Beacon, like the sewers underneath it, where the water was a dark and deep red from all of the blood and viscera that was mixed in with the water. It smelled like rotten meat and cold bile and mildew and the sickeningly sweet scent of garbage on a hot day. As they drew closer to the door, which sat open with a chair shoved against it to keep it from closing. There was a pile of limbs and flies and mistakes, of the bodies that Juli must have dragged out of the building all on her own. She wasn’t looking at them, she was unreadable, her face blank as she went into the building.

It looked like a Mobius building on the inside, all white tile and cement, cold and barren and clean, aside from the swivel chair that was at the end of a long smear of blood. He squeezed Stefano’s hand. He shouldn’t have been here. This wasn’t Stefano’s job. Stefano gave him a small smile and a squeeze of the hand back, as if there was nothing wrong. Everything was wrong.

Kidman hadn’t been overly talkative before this, had always given more questions than she answered, but now she led them past offices and labs and examination rooms without a word. She was pale, a sheen of sweat on her brow. She looked like she was coming down with something. She may have been, just from touching all of those corpses.

The STEM room was more complicated than the one for Union, which was more complicated than the one for Beacon. There were three of those metal cylinders, the same kind that Lily had been in, in a cluster in the center, the wires and tubes coming from them bound in different colored transparent tubing to keep them separate and recognizable as they led to monitors. There were eight tubs around the tubes and they were ergonomic, actually built for comfort and short time use. The people who went in weren’t supposed to stay in, the trips were meant to be shorter.

There were blood stains everywhere.

“You should get dressed, do whatever you need to do before getting in,” Kidman explained. “I can give you a moment if you want.”

There were security cameras in the corners of the room. Those made him feel a lot less private than Kidman not being there would. He didn’t care if Kidman saw him naked, he didn’t have much shame in those regards, she’d seen him much worse than just naked. Stefano looked uncomfortable though and his eye was trained directly at one of the tubs as if it were something much more than it was. He was looking at it because he knew what it actually was.

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” he shooed her away, letting go of Stefano’s hand to stroke up his arm. He didn’t even turn to watch her leave, had his attention on the man before him, who was pale and still intent on that tub. “Hey, you okay?”

Stefano bit his lip and nodded. “We’ll be in contact, won’t we? She can extract us whenever we need to be?”

“I have no intention of letting you out of my sight,” Sebastian promised, wished that his older promises were still holding up. “But yeah, we’ll both have communicators, remember? If we get separated, we’ll be able to find each other. And we can talk to Kidman whenever we need to.”

Stefano set his cane down, resting it against the tub. He drew closer to Sebastian, his hands finding Sebastian’s waist and stroking along it to wrap around him.

“You’re scared.”

“Of course I am,” Stefano admitted, laying his head against Sebastian’s chest. “You heard what she said. There won’t be any people in there, aside from the five of us.”

Sebastian hugged Stefano back. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Stefano shook his head against him. “It means there will be less obstacles, I’m sure, less monsters, less casualties if we fail, but it also means less distractions.”

Sebastian pulled away from him a bit, “Less distractions? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Before, when there were more minds connected, their obsession with normality, their ideas of what Union was supposed to be, made it harder to be manipulated for those of us who knew we were within a dream. I could create, of course, but when I did so in someplace other than my own space there was a chance that it would revert to how it had been. There will be less distractions in this STEM, which means that we’ll be able to change it without trying.”

“You think you’ll revert,” Sebastian sighed, realizing what Stefano was dancing around. He closed his eyes. “Stefano, that’s not going to happen. You were changed by Theodore, by Paolo, to become that killer. It’s up to you what you’ll become now. And I’ll be at your side all the while. If you think you’re going to falter, you can lean on me.”

“And if I hurt you?” Stefano asked.

“That’s not going to happen.” Sebastian kissed him, long and slow, reminding him that there was more to him than words. He was a man of action and that wasn’t always a good thing, but Stefano melted against his touch.

---

He had never expected to come back here. He had never wanted to. Juli had told them what to expect and it was so different from Union, but he still didn’t think that he was ready. He lay down in the tub, letting the fluids wash over him. His hands were on the sides of the tub though, knuckles white, and he turned to Sebastian, hoping for just one more argument, one more excuse as to why he shouldn’t come. He had been brave before, had acted like this wasn’t a compounding of trauma, but now it was happening, now it was real, and he wanted escape. Sebastian’s eyes were closed, his brows furrowed in concentration. They were going to do this.

“Don’t worry,” Juli put her hand on his shoulder, plugging him into the machine. “I’ll be out here for you. If it ever gets to be too much, you let me know. I’ll extract you as fast as I can.”

He nodded. That helped a little, even though he knew that if they came out they’d have to start over from the initial insertion point. He let go of the edges and let himself slide further under the liquid, taking one last look at the metal tanks that held the Cores.

This wasn’t like Union. In Union there had been only Lily and he hadn’t seen how they’d kept her in a metal chamber. There had been hundreds of tubs, like the ones that they were in, all of them citizens of that imaginary world.

He wasn’t ready for this. He’d ever be ready.

He closed his eye, following Sebastian’s lead, and suddenly he was falling back into the fluid, falling and plummeting, eye flying open to watch as so much of that white liquid fell away from him. He was unable to breathe, unable to fight against his drop into the depths. He felt himself start to choke on the nothing, reaching at nothing, wondering why Juli wasn’t pulling him up, wasn’t pulling him out. The liquid wasn’t that deep but he was miles down, the lights from outside a soft glow in the distance. He was struggling, trying to shove his way upward, but he felt a weight on his chest, a weight that was pulling him down. He opened his mouth but all that came out were the air bubbles that he so desperately needed.

He was dying. He had been a fool to agree to this. He’d known it at the time, too. But now he was drowning. Now he was suffocating. He was dying and it was pain and it was hands on his throat, in his lungs, shoving liquid into him.

And then it stopped and he was floating and there was no liquid around him. Either that or he didn’t need to breathe. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t suffering any more. He was slowly sliding down towards a field of pale blue grass, all of it reaching up for him, looking as if it would catch him and cradle him and pull him down into comfort. He looked around but he didn’t see Sebastian anywhere in this space. He wondered if Sebastian was in a place quite this beautiful or as terrifying.

He drew towards the bottom and he realized that there was no grass beneath him. The gentle swaying beneath him was not soft stocks but drowned fingers pale and blue from lack of air. They were attached to reaching arms, ready to grab him and keep him, to drag him down and make him one of them. He threw out his arms, trying to slow his decent, looking around for anything that he could grab onto. There was nothing but that field. He had no choice.

He kicked out, trying to keep the hands away. They did not care about broken or bloody fingers. The trailed their fingers over his socks, clung to his lounge wear, and held him tightly. He considered kicking off his pants in order to escape them but they were already holding him by the ankles, their skin so cold that it chilled him. It was elegant, in a way, the way that the hands all moved together, the field a garden of expression. It looked like an art piece that he would have made in a different life. Where he was now though, on this side of the exhibit, he was not so much an audience member as he was an unwilling participant.

The hands were heavier than the weight on his chest had been and when they grabbed they pulled, arms sliding into the field as if they were nothing more than tube worms. They were forced to release him as their fingers were separated by unadulterated earth. He stood among them, more tall ones waving at him, beckoning him closer, others trying to shove behind him. They were pointing him in a direction, towards a slanted building that kept flickering and flashing, glitching out into squares before scrambling into a different building altogether. There were five of them, if he had to guess, though it was confusing as some of them stole parts of others and they didn’t cycle in an order. The shorter ones were stretched out to match the heights of the taller ones, adding to the confusion. He did recognize the apartment building he had grown up in though and seeing it filled him with a dread that he had not allowed himself to feel while with Sebastian, ignoring his own painful childhood memories while recounting what good ones he still remembered.

There was no where else to go. He had to go towards the building. As he moved the arms shuffled and tightened, pulling down so he could cross, stepping on uncaring fingers as he went. Eventually the fingers ran out and the field looked like it was made out of black glass, only a few feet away from the entrance.

The building glitched, breaking into more pieces, breaking up further than it had any time before, and then shattering, colors and squares breaking apart and flying out, changing shape and color, forming a street that led to a town in the distance, wispy woods growing around it, trying to invade the cement past a weak wooden fence.

There was a fork and down the other side was Sebastian, who didn’t seem to be anywhere near as disoriented as he was. Sebastian was, however, smoking slightly and Stefano knew not to ask about whatever fire Sebastian had had to put out on his way here. He knew Sebastian’s past and he knew his nightmares. He didn’t need to bring them up.

He was glad to see that Sebastian was dressed like a normal person, no wandering around in the sweats that he had been in when they had stepped into the tubs just minutes before. He was wearing a brown, pinstriped vest and brown slacks that Stefano had never seen before, his white dress shirt unbuttoned a bit to reveal a hint of his chest, his neck unconstrained by a tie. Glancing down at himself he was glad to see that he was decently dressed as well, crimson slacks and a deep blue satin dress shirt, much more comfortable and much more him than the comfortable clothes he’d been told to wear. He recognized them as well, old clothes but feeling fresh and new, some of the first clothes he’d purchased once being released from the military’s care in America.

Stefano rushed over as best he could with the light limp that still threatened him so often, taking Sebastian’s hand in his own and drawing close. Sebastian gave his hand a light squeeze and offered a damaged smile, which Stefano would always take, even if it filled him with a concern he was still learning how to form.

“Regretting it yet?” Sebastian asked, trying to tease but there was no merriment in his voice.

Stefano tugged on his hand, making him stumble closer to him so he could press a kiss to his cheek, to pretend that what he had seen had not unsettled him and made his hands itch to create. “I would only regret it if I did not find you on the other side.”

Sebastian’s smile reached his eyes then, before they turned away, towards a lightly glowing figure down the road. Stefano turned his attention to her as well, although there was no where else he could look, eventually, as she was standing in front of a roundabout which held a large imposing tree. There was a wooden sign planted in the roundabout with a very familiar image of a tree that looked far more like a brain than could be coincidental.

“Hello,” the woman said as they drew near, her voice a perfect monotone. Stefano hated her immediately. Everything about her was flat and bland, even though she was glowing faintly, even through her bland gray pantsuit. “You may call me Luci. Welcome to Junction.”

Stefano was impressed. He wasn’t expecting the A.I. to look so human. It was accurate but uncanny, just slightly off in the motions.

She cocked her head, eyes looking them over in a mechanical manner and Stefano was brought to the conclusion that she was scanning thm. “I am an A.I., set in motion to accommodate and direct Mobius scientists through Junction. The fact that you do not recognize me give me cause to believe that you are an infiltration in the system. Name and registration, please.”

Sebastian looked at Stefano, but he had no registration here either.

“We were sent in for repairs,” Stefano explained, trying to come up with something believable, “and we are not altogether Mobius scientists. We were not given proper registration numbers as we were expected to meet other scientists here. Give us a moment to contact our superiors?”

She looked at him as blankly as before. “There have been no Mobius agents within STEM in 298 days. The Cores are out of alignment and need to be re-calibrated. There is a long list of repairs that need to be accomplished, but I cannot allow you entry until you have your registration.”

“Understood, my dear,” Stefano gave her a smile that would have charmed a real woman of her ilk. She did not respond to it. “We will return momentarily.”

He still had Sebastian’s hand in his own and he turned them to go back a few steps, pulling out the radio that was stuck on his belt, unnoticed until just then. Sebastian was looking at him quizzically but that was fine, there were many times in which Sebastian didn’t catch onto things as readily as he did.

“Juli? It seems we’ve run into a small hindrance.”

“Already? That’s impressive,” she sounded amused at least, if a little out of breath.

“We’ve met the illustrious Luci and she was hoping for our registration, could you make us some, right quick?”

He heard something drop heavily onto the floor, with a light squish that, paired with the lack of reality he was now in, reminded him greatly of his exhibit in City Hall. “Uh, yeah, give me a few seconds.”

He clipped the radio back onto his belt. Sebastian looked proud. He’d had people tell him that they were proud of him before, had people tell him how impressive his work was, but Sebastian was the first one who made him feel like it was true, that it wasn’t a stroke to his ego. He could still feel Luci’s cold eyes on them and, whatever mood that would swell in his heart was dashed before anything could come of it.

“Alright,” Juli sighed from her home on Stefano’s waist, “get the radio close up to it.”

Stefano returned to Luci and held out the radio, letting Juli state their names, falsified occupations, and a long list of numbers. Stefano tried to memorize his but it was too long and she only said it once before a small smile flitted onto Luci’s boring face.

“Welcome to Junction, might I point you in a direction of your choosing or shall I give you the list of malfunctions?”

“We’re heading for the Core, Joseph Cedric Oda,” Sebastian said, deliberate and to the point.

Luci seemed to think on that for a moment, getting confused more than a machine had any right to. “The Cores are not in proper alignment and may not be in the correct quadrants,” she explained. “Block 24A-31E is Core JO’s primary state of establishment, otherwise known as The Junction City Police Department.”

“Of course,” Sebastian gritted his teeth. Stefano didn’t understand why. They had both been detectives together, Sebastian had told him so on the flight over, so finding him in a place that he would find comfort and understanding in was not much of a surprise. “Thanks.”

“A pleasure to be of assistance,” Luci stilled, no longer active now that it was clear that Sebasastian was done speaking with her.

“Come on,” Sebastian squeezed his hand, “We’re going to need to get a move on, I don’t care if Juli said there are no monsters, this place gives me the creeps.”

Stefano nodded. Even with Luci offline he felt like he was being watched.

@chibi–raiden @detectivesebcas @angelicsociopath@sebcastellanyes @ruvikkin@lokis-queen-hepta-the-destroyer@samofgallifrey27 @supportivepsychopath​ @zellanoir​

[thyrideneverends]

(2017)

Escritos que encontre del año 2017 . Y conversaciones conmigo desde el año 2020 ([]).

____________________________ AAAHGH IM SO FUCKING SAD. I cant help but feel that im rotting. I dont want pity; people helping; people empathizing. FUCK YOU. I can do better than you. I DO. In fact. I havent been blinded, and hate everything around me as an excuse for giving my life away for what it was supposed to be. [this could be missunderstod since i was clearly angry 4 something i dont recall, I was refering to people in general, how they put themselves above the others, how they always wanna get "there" first, how they talk trash about their relationships, the anger, the hate that breeds out of them when they are wronged(even if there`s no purpose or whatsoever to cause them, specifically, any troubles), the screaming, the violence, that kind of hate..]

I dont want to just 'be happy' because I have to; so I reject happiness. But I want to feel it like something real and not made up.. does that makes sense? Thats a paradox i cant escape lately. [thats deep man, fortunately we figured that out. Have we figured that out? Happiness now is closed for manteinance ^-^ ]

I cant find pleasure in anything.. I destroyed everything..[you had to start somewhere, right?] I cant find meaning in anything.

I just need someone, i just need not to be alone. But I am; Even surrounded by everyone. I know I am. I know you are too.. I hope you are strong enough to endure it.

[hablabas de otro tipo de soledad, lo se, pero vos todavia no lo sabias, o si?]

_______________________

Sometimes I feel like I forgot an important part of being alive. I remember a different version of myself from a few years back. I feel like I'm just existing; nothing pushes my happy button. And when I'm not strong enough to think that it's fine; that I don't need that.. I will just panic questioning myself why, the reason for me not belonging. I know it's fine; I know I can just spend the rest of my..50years left? just doing this; living this eternal circling hell. You might say it's a choice.. That I don't put that much effort into it. That I'm just playing this part. Complaining my ass off. And to that.. I can only say I'm sorry.. I'm doing the best I can. [I know you were.. truly; and u did a great job never letting me down] _________________________________________

Why are we even here right.. What powers you? You wake up, work or study, ingest food, sleep. Repeat. To finish your career and become something.. To earn enough money to become someone.. Be better in what you're doing or you'll be out. You'll be useless. You'll be garbage. We[the system] won't need you.. And then we have to be happy about it.. We have to function collectively happy and there's no room for the outcasts.. And IM to blame for it.. I could be happy like all of them.. But I'm just sitting my ass here thinking what else I can sabotage, in order to understand why it's unnecessary and wish to be also capable of that... Just capable maybe of.. not be weird; not be me.. And sometimes thats all that matters. That Im me.. And I love not being a part of them. I just can never get a hold of that moment and make it last.. I will feel alone just a moment after. [Im so glad we worked our loneliness, I mean, we have such fine moments in silence..]

____________________________________________

Aah... I was just given advice by a hot girl on tinder about how should I type, express and resume myself so the person on the other side of the screen won't stop replying thinking I'm an idiot.. She basically said :- "hey, you're an idiot but maybe a cute one. Here's human help. Just stop being you and people will like you" Y'know what? that's bullshit... It makes me so anxious that it happens all the time. There's always someone judgin. Not only online; real life is the worst. I just don't fit in here I guess. I'll keep talking with the tinder girl, maybe and get emptynessly laid, why not? But I think I hate this.. I hate that everything craves for a definition and people just won't LOOK; Im hidden among them... God how I wish to know who's there ravaging their brains with questions while walking in that empty crowd. I wish I could find you and ask just what you were thinking there. At that unique moment. You are not alone... But if you feel like I do; I wonder if you also wonder. I wonder if we're just very far away from each other.. I wonder if it`s true that there can only be one of us by this cosmic rule that goes: only one 'you/me' for every thousand people. Or.. maybe it's just me. Too old to be an idiot... Too idiot to fully be himself around smart well adjusted people. I guess it's a matter of perspective. isn't it pretty much all? Have a good night stranger.. [Not so stranger.. my dude.. U didn't get laid btw, you couldn't pull through with that. And then you promised you wouldn't lie about who you are.. You wouldn't ever play another role other than the one you are. Well, it was more like a statement than a promise, to yourself. I was there.. Best decision you ever made. You mutated loneliness into a condition, a simple symptom of your choice of living; instead of a disease on itself.. Very clever.]

_____________________________________________

You don't have to read but if you wanna unload please write it down. Everything u hate.. or love; This I wrote on my personal account but it makes me anxious to open myself to judgy people, so I erased it.. We live to judge because we love fixing things that didn't go right with us. Never understanding each perspective is unique. Well Im gonna paste it here because I don't want to lose it.. I don't want something I really meant to be just a deleted thing..(even if it is)

Have u ever felt like you're unique or different?   But then just analyzing, we all just walk towards and objective. We don't do things just because. You don't get up every day to just go to work.. to just have breakfast or go shopping, idk; people set goals. We follow patterns. We repeat the same exact thing to strangers of the streets. The same exact things other strangers reply to us.. We are the same NPCs to others. And then realizing this I just wanna scream PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS. Please look at me! I don't want this. I don't want to be aware of this.. I don't want to feel I'm just to you what you guess I am. What's the point of everything? How do I get to know who I am if I'm always this self-centered stupid attempt of somebody? Nobody wants that. Sometimes I am glad to be "awake". To be different from the other people in their bubbles... But most of the time I'd give EVERYTHING to be exactly like that. Because I feel lonely. Because I have so many friends, but we can't communicate. Because I've lost the ideal of love because at a certain point I was scared of being a problem and it hurts so fucking much. I don't think I am special.. or more intelligent or cultural, I just feel I have a different degree of "profoundness" than most other people. It's not something I talk about or show, most of the time i pretend to fit in, but I don't. I can fool myself for periods, I've fooled myself for so many years now, but in the end it always comes back, I can't hide it forever. it hurts so much. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse and I feel like a fucking show-off that just wants attention..

[I felt that.. dude. You write beautifully..]

_____________________________________________

Hi person reading this. Be nice, life is full of shitty people. Make a tiny difference; someday we're all gonna die so its cool. Dont hold grudges ^^ . [^^]

______________________________________________

We are all just internet jesters shitposting to fill the void Even if you're just taking selfies and being beautiful while loving life, smiling to nothing and eating healthy shit while showing off the new place you just visited to a bunch of strangers that doesn't give a fuck about you .. (actually those are the worsts) yeah.. (Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's bad. I do that too ! we like showing ourselves to others..) Screaming... I exist. Notice me sempai. We just are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

________________________________________________ *draw of myself* [couldnt find it anywhere, where did u put it D: . i remember the sad expression] I know It has a lot of imperfections but so do I. I guess this is how I see myself.. Maybe I just wanted it to be like that. To express something to myself. I still feel like a little kid sometimes even tho I'm 25; "I just can't play with the other kids because I feel different and they make me feel different." Now I can't play with the adults, they're too adults. They make me feel too adult; i need to act up every move to become like them. And then alone, I can be at peace being who I wanna be; But it gets lonely from time to time; Not being able to understand who are you really; where are you really above the necessity of impersonating this other dude to get laid, get the job, get the money. And for what?.. Just to keep doing it because there is really no other choice.. How sad. But anyway. Ever tried to draw yourself? To see what's the image of you that you hold in your head.. if u truly do it; it doesn't matter if you know or not how to proyect yourself.. Every trace you make on that paper is a creation this world has never seen.. your chance to make a difference; it doesn't have to be trendy or impact in mankind. I suppose that's what I call art. And that's why art is everywhere.. Everything that can never be repeated.. Anything that comes from you; or life itself. A random amount of dirt.. Sunlight getting through the leaves of a tree.. Pieces of a broken cup and the stain of coffee in the carpet.. I'm not an artist myself tho; never considered myself even close to one.. I haven't drawn in years.. This is my first one in a long time; I just felt like it.

________________________________________________

[imaginesfromtheupsidedown]

Blast From The Past (fem!reader POV)

A Kol Mikaelson Imagine (Kol x reader) from the fem!reader’s POV.

Alrighty! This is NOT a part two from Blast From The Past, this is from the point of view from the reader, who I imagined as female when writing this.Let me know anything you’d like to see in the Part 2, and if Ishould do a part 2 for the fem!readerPOV. Any critique and advice is welcome! :)

ALSO, remember, these are my writings from my old blog, I had just deleted my old blog and am putting these up here.I promise I havent ripped them. Just letting you guys know in case you recognize them.

Hey, @philautia-love-of-self , I know you wanted to be tagged but IDK if you meant in this perspective or in the actual part 2, so here’s a tag! :)

Triggers: blood, fight, and if you see anything else that should be added to this let me know!

word count: 3735

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She woke up with a splitting headache and had no idea what had happened to her. Her neck was sore and her throat and stomach burned with a hunger she had never felt before. Blinking rapidly, she looked around trying to get her vision back. When she could finally see, the first face she saw was his. Klaus.

“What the hell?” she moaned. “Klaus? Why am on the floor?”

“Ah, yes, sorry about that, darling!” he smirked, shrugging his shoulders. “There’s really no graceful way to snap someone’s neck.” What? Snap someone’s neck? As in…..

“Did you… kill me?” hyperventilating, she tried to stand up but fell right back down, taking the bedside table with her. When she landed her leg caught a bit of the sun that was shining through the window, burning and earning quite a scream from her. What the heck was happening! She ached with a hunger that she didn’t understand and burned from the warmth of the sun!

Trying to think back as far as she could, she remembered Klaus promising that he could help her mother, claiming that he was a witch, drinking his blood, and then finally telling him how grateful she was before everything suddenly went black…

He did. He killed her. But she was still here.

Her eyes snapped open. Chest heaving, covered in sweat, and just at terrified as the day she was turned. She kept staring into the darkness, pulling her blanket up to her chin trying to calm herself down. And that worked for a bit. Until it pounced.

“HARVARD EUGENE!!!!!” she screamed. He was such an evil cat; she swore he did stuff like that on purpose. She scooped him into her arms cuddled him into her chest despite his obvious attempts of escape. Convinced that the little turd had learned his lesson, she released him. He scrambled out of her arms and across the bed, only to plop himself onto a pillow. She couldn’t help but laugh at her little fur baby.

Rolling back onto her side she cuddled back into her blanket, pulling it up to her neck again. Once settled, she absentmindedly traced her fingers along the tiny letters that were forever etched into the side of her wrist. She thought of him often. Which was also why she busied herself constantly, trying to leave less time for her to wallow in not only the fact that she could never be with him, but only a few years ago she learned that he had died for real and could never actually come back to her…

She would never even get to see him again, let alone hold him close.

Swallowing back her pain, she thought of all the things that she had to look forward to by getting out of bed. She had her fur baby, her kids downtown who she helped tutor, a business of her own, and a few close friends. Plus, she had Netflix to come home to if everything went to shit so at least she had a plan to fall back on. As sad as she was, not everything was going to make her want to cry herself to sleep.

Forcing a smile, she told herself ‘Y/N, get up, get dressed, and go conquer’. After feeding her cat, she got dressed and took a good amount of time to actually do her makeup, which made her smile more. It wasn’t much, but it did make her feel a bit better. She felt a bit more put together with her favorite blazer, favorite color on her eyes, and lip gloss that smelled like cake batter.

After leaving her apartment she headed to a local coffee shop a few streets down, enjoying hearing the clacks of her heels and feeling the slight breeze that blew past her. It was such a beautiful day out. It reminded her of a day very long ago, when a young man stumbled into her life…

After arguing with her father for what seemed like hours on end, Y/N hastily grabbed her family’s freshly cleaned laundry and darted out the door. She didn’t want to stay and suffer through who knows how much more of one of her father’s bad moods and more of his harsh words.

Slowing down she balanced the basket on one hip, using her newly free hand to run through the high grass. It was such a beautiful day out. The sun was at its peak in the sky, a slight breeze was blowing, and it was the perfect temperature. Autumn was approaching, meaning the days were not as unbearably hot as it was a couple of months ago.  A small smile formed on her lips. In this moment, she was content. Well, until the heavy basket of wet clothes was knocked out of her hands, causing her to let out a small scream.

At first she didn’t know what to do, she just stared at the clothes and then at the stranger who had seemingly come out of nowhere. He seemed to make some sort of movement, probably to help pick up the clothes, when a giggle escaped her mouth before she could stop it.

“My goodness! Where did you come from!” she giggled again. “I apologize if I’m the one who ran into you, I’m just very thoughtful today and may not have been paying attention. I’m Y/N, Mr…..?” She thrusted her hand out at him, waiting for him to respond. His eyes darted to her wrist and she could have sworn she saw them widen before he reached back to shake her hand.

“Ah, yes, uh,” he coughed, “Mikaelson. Kol Mikaelson. Sorry, I, uh, was running to find my brothers and I just, um, ran into you.” She couldn’t help but smile again, staring at this handsome stranger as he fumbled for words. Right as they were pulling away, something told her to glance down. That’s when she saw them. The letters on his wrist. And that’s when she understood why his eyes had widened. There, on his wrist, were her initials: Y/I. To hide her quickly reddening cheeks she ducked to pick up the clothes scattered on the ground.

“Ah! Well I do hope that you find them!” she said shortly, trying not to be rude but also trying to hide the fact that she was now nervous. She picked up a few more things before sensing him bend down beside her, helping her gather them up.

“Eh, they’ll be fine wherever they went. Let me help you with these, I’m terribly sorry about spilling your clothes. I’ll even wash them again if they need it!” he grinned at her. And that was it. She fell hard for that smile right then and there.

After getting the largest cup of her favorite coffee from the shop, she headed on over to the print shop to pick up some new building blueprints she had ordered. Of course, they were perfect and she knew her staff would be super excited about them. Unable to hide her excitement, she hurried home and put the papers into a binder. After a quick lunch and a game of catch-the-string with Harv, she made her way to the club. Her club, which she had built from the ground up and had actually become more popular than she had ever hoped it would.

The thumping beats could be heard down the street from the club, which only made her happier. That meant that customers were there, and customers meant a happy atmosphere. When she walked in she saw that the bar was full and that there were already a few people on the dance floor. How could she not smile in this place? All the visible staff had genuine smiles plastered across their faces, chatting with customers and enjoying their jobs. She headed over to the head bartender, Jacob, and chatted for a second.

“Boss, this little place is POPPIN!” he grinned, pouring another drink for one of their regulars.

“It is! You have no idea how amazing this is, on top of this!” she held up the binder and he clapped his hands together.

“YASSS, boss lady! Girl, we are going to have the hottest club in New Orleans!” he almost screamed. It made her heart swell with joy at the fact that her employees loved this place as much as she did. She may have found her favorite job ever, and she had definitely had a lot of jobs over the years.

“I’m going to go finish getting all of these in order and then I’ll be back out to show you all the finished masterpiece before taking them to the office! We can finally build!!” they hugged before she went to the back office to pull out some pay statements and other stuff needed for the add-ons.

She was harshly awoken by her father screaming, jolting up to quickly cover herself. It took her a second to register what was happening. Her father was screaming both at her and Kol, but he was kicking and swinging his fists at Kol. At the same time, Kol was franticly trying to pull his pants on between dodging kicks and punchs.

“How dare you both!! Put your clothes on young lady! And stand still, you bastard!!” he threw her clothes at her while still trying to get Kol.

“Mr. Y/L/N, please! We haven’t harmed anyone, we haven’t done anything wrong!” Kol pleaded, finally getting his pants on and putting his hands up in defense. “I love your daughter and would never do anything to take advantage of her or to hurt her in any way!”

“YOU ALREADY HAVE, BOY!” her father boomed, stamping his feet. She had never seen him this angry, or even his face this red. “This is my daughter! How dare you, either of you, disrespect me in such a way! And in my own barn!”

“Father-“

“KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, GIRL!” he screamed at her, causing her to flinch and bringing tears to her eyes.  She hastily put her clothes on and looked away, trying not to make the situation worse by letting him see her cry. That’s when Kol straightened up.

“You will not talk to her like that…” he said through his teeth, approaching her father. This seemed to confuse her father because he started to back up as Kol got closer. “She is the woman I love, the woman I live for. You will not disrespect HER. Do you understand?”

“Now, see here, this is MY daughter, and I decide who she-“ her father stammered, obviously nervous and trying to seem still in charge.

“No. You don’t. She does. And she has picked ME.” Kol interrupted. She couldn’t believe this! First her father finding them, and now it seemed like a fight between her father and the man she loved was inevitable. He walked over to her and wiped the tears off of her face before kissing the tiny letters on her wrist. “As if our wrists weren’t proof enough that we were meant for each other! But it seems you need me to say it out loud.” He walked back over to her father, who seemed rooted in place, and got right in his face.

“Y/N is the absolute love of my life. No one, not even you, Mr. Y/L/N, is going to stop that.” He growled. And what he said next had almost stopped her heart…

“Y/N, will you let me marry you?”

Finally, the last bit of the binder was complete! She sat back and took a sip of her coffee, proud of all of their hard work. Deciding to chill out for a few minutes before heading back out into the lobby, she let her vampire hearing take over for a bit. Besides the obvious thumping of the music, she heard a few bits and pieces of conversations happening.

“Let’s get another round!!”

“Okay, No-Fun Nancy, how about we play a little drinking game?”

“This is where I’m coming from now on!”

“No, Sarah, that’s not what a buttery-nipple is…”

“It’s our buddy’s 21ST, we want to get him SUPER drunk, like ‘Hangover’ drunk, ya feel?”

She laughed at some of these, sporting a wide grin. Until she heard one of her staff say something that gave her goosebumps.

“We may need to go get Y/N…. See those two? They’re vamps… They keep trying to compel me-“

And that’s all she needed to hear. She had her coffee and the binder in both hands, making a bee line for the main bar area. Using all of her senses that she could she tried to figure out where they could be and, if she could, why they were here. Once she reached the bar she sat her stuff down and opened the binder, calling Jacob over. He was super excited to see the binder until he saw her face.

“What’s up…” he asked quietly, so quiet that she only heard it because of her enhanced hearing. Thank goodness he was a vampire too, or she wouldn’t be able to be as secret.

“Vampires… Where? Are they a threat?” she barely moved her mouth, trying to make it look like she was just showing him the blueprints.

“Behind you, other side of the bar. And no, as far as I can tell they’ve just tried to compel free drinks out of a few of us. Which, of course, is not happening.” He laughed. That made her relax a bit. She started to loosen up when she felt a presence right next to her, causing her to tense back up.

“Who the hell drinks coffee at a club?”

Of course. Klaus. She was having too great of a day, the universe had to fuck her over somehow. She turned slowly to face him. Yep. He was really there. This wasn’t just some caffine-enduced daydream. Shit.

“Well, I’m not going to lie I never thought I would see you showing up here of all places, Klaus.” She rolled her eyes, not even trying to mask the malice in her voice. She had to fire back with something tough… ... “What the hell do you want? Haven’t you already done your worst?”

Fuck. That wasn’t tough! If anything that only made her sound submissive and tired!! Shit!!! She had to think of a way to not sound weak!

“Now, love, why on earth would you say that? Have you not had great lifetimes?” Klaus teased, pulling her binder in front of him. “Oh, lovely, expanding are we?” she yanked it back from him.

“To what do I owe this… pleasure?” she said through her teeth. Jacob took the binder from her, shooting a cold glare toward Klaus before heading to the other side of the bar.

“I came to apologize to a few people that I’ve done wrong. And you, love, are one of those people. So I’m here to make it all up to you!” He leaned in closer, trying his best at what she realized was a smile.

“Ha. Jesse, go outside and tell me if you see any pigs flying!” she yelled toward the bartender, crossing her arms. “Because that’s the only way I’ll believe that Klaus Mikaelson is coming into my club and admitting that he’s done any wrong.” She didn’t want to give Jacob’s real name out just in case Klaus goes on one of his infamous temper tantrums. What the actual hell is wrong with him? How dare he think he could make up for what he had done….

It was starting to get colder out, and she was craving warm blood. Kol was due to return from his hunting trip with Elijah any day now, and Klaus was now helping Y/N with her new vampire cravings and senses before he got back. She was grateful, of course, but all she wanted was to rip open a few people and drain them dry.

“Let’s run now, love. Run from the tree to the end of the trail!” he encouraged. She rolled her eyes at him.

“I don’t want to. I’m hungry, Klaus, can we please just deal with that first?” she slumped against the tree.

“You are being weak, Y/N. I’m trying to make you strong! How do you think Kol is going to feel about this, hmm?? Will he want his beloved to be sitting here whining about being hungry, or is he going to want you to be as strong and disciplined as he is?” Klaus demanded, a smile curving on his lips. He was proud of his little Y/N-shaming pep talk.

“I’m very sure that Kol would rather me act like however the hell I want and not be modeling after what his ass of a brother taught me…” she retorted. She wished she could’ve taken the words back as soon as she said them, he was so mad.

“How about I rip out your heart and leave you like your mother?” he hissed, speeding to her and lifting her by her neck. “Do you know how many people would love to be like me? And I’ve wasted my time with you…” That pissed her off. She kicked at him, causing him to let her go. She took a few swings at him, and she had to admit that it was awesome to use this vampire strength.

He did not like that. A full on fight let loose, both equally getting in blows. It felt like forever, both of them throwing punches and trying to kill the other. She actually thought she could do it, that she could kill him and never have to worry about him ever again. Just kill him, walk away, and spent the rest of her immortal life happy and with Kol. But that plan was crushed when she felt his hand burst through her chest, gripping her heart.

“GIVE ME A REASON!” he bellowed, tightening his grip. She screamed out in pain, clutching his arm even though there was nothing she could do. This was it. He was going to kill her. Unless she submitted to him..

“I-I’m….. I’m sorry!” she choked out. For a second she thought that he was still going to do it, rip out her heart and just leave her to rot. But after one last squeeze on her heart he let go and yanked his hand out, throwing her to the ground. He stared down at her for what felt like an eternity, blood splattered across his face. She had never seen him so cold. But then again she had never really known that Kol and his family were anything more than human like her.

“I will forgive you, Y/N…” he said after his long pause. “But I will never forget. Your life comes at a price.”

“Anything.” She breathed, trying to stand herself up straight.

“You will not see Kol for…… one hundred years. Or however long else I decide.” He said casually. But that almost knocked her down in itself.

“W-what?” she croaked. “No! Please, I’ll let you help me! I’ll do anything else, Klaus, please!”

“No. That’s the price of you staying alive. Stay away from my brother. Or die.” He shrugged. “Or, better yet, I’ll kill him.”

With the last of her strength she looked him in the eye and nodded. After she saw the smile start to creep across his face she looked down, trying to hide the tears that were about to spill over the brims of her eyes. When she looked up he was gone. That was the hardest she had ever sobbed in all of her life.

“I’m a changed soul, Y/N! And I can prove it.” He put his hands up in mock defense.

“Fine. Prove to me you’re a changed soul and I may CONSIDER forgiving you.” Her tone was flat. She was trying to be as cold as she remembered him being on the worst day of her life.

“Only consider!” Klaus scoffed. He raised his stupid eyebrow at her, his way of challenging what she said.

“You killed me, had me kill my own mother, made me swear to stay away from the man I loved, then kept me from him, and when I finally find you, you’ve gotten him killed!” She was angry, so angry. “You’re lucky that ‘consider’ is even an option.” She spat all of that out at him, hoping he would leave. Leave her club and leave her alone. In the corner of her eye she saw Jacob tense and turn his head slightly toward her. Shit. Now she’s going to have to explain shit she had never wanted to explain to anyone…

“Fine. I guess.” Klaus threw his arms up in mock surrender. “Well love, are you ready for my apology?” she shrugged, honestly not expecting anything. And if he really did do anything, she pictured him donating money to her club so that she could expand. Which would be wonderful, but that is such a Klaus thing to do. Throw money at someone that you hurt so that you don’t have to feel bad any more, yay!!!

Klaus made a big show of stepping aside and gesturing behind him. She rolled her eyes and turned to see what her big apology gift would be and her eyes almost burst out of her head. There he was, sitting in her club, at her bar, staring at her with those gorgeous chocolate eyes. She glanced down at his wrist and saw her initials still there. It was him! Really him! Alive! But how? So many questions flooded into her head along with old memories and a lot of pain. She had no idea what to do. Should she say hi? Would running out the door be acceptable? She couldn’t do that…. Here he was, right in front of her seeming just as shocked as she was, and she couldn’t just run. Without thinking she sped to him, stopping right in front of him. Their noses nearly touched and she could hear his heartbeat. It was slamming to his chest just like hers was. He was just as handsome as she remembered. Oh, how she wanted to grab him and kiss all over his face. She wanted to know everything! Why wasn’t he saying anything? Wait, why wasn’t she saying anything? After what felt like another eternity she spoke.

“Kol?”

[adambstingus]

Macaulay Culkin: ‘No, I was not pounding six grand of heroin a month’

The Home Alone star talks about the drug rumours, dodging paparazzi and his cheese-flavoured Velvet Underground tribute act

Of all modern myths, it is the fall of the child star that most compels us. Whether theyre embarking on 55-hour marriages, throwing bongs out of windows or abandoning monkeys at customs, we cant seem to get enough. Theres something pathological in our need to tear down our icons of innocence, which might explain the overprotective nature of Macaulay Culkins US publicist, who wants to see all my questions upfront. I refuse. I thought we could just … have a chat? The interview, Culkins biggest in 10 years, is supposed to focus on his comeback. Im instructed to avoid anything negative. I ask if I can ask if he has any regrets. Regrets sounds too negative, is the response.

When we meet, in the lobby of a hotel in Spain, Im still trying to figure out what exactly this comeback consists of. Culkins filming an advert for Compare the Market, which is obviously not a passion project. It was fun, and we hammered that sucker out pretty quickly. The biggest scene was me sitting on a bench eating ice-cream.

Is he doing this to fund an exciting new venture? No, not necessarily. Hes dressed grungily, long hair man-bunned back, boots open-laced, blazer badge-studded. He doesnt project the focused careerism of most actors. People feel they have to be in perpetual motion, or drown. Ive never had a problem saying Ive got nothing lined up. Maybe Ill take the next year off. It sounds as if hes not particularly drawn to acting at all. Im not much active, he concedes. If I knew what I wanted to do, Id be writing it myself.

The trajectory of Culkins life feels like fallout from an atomic blast. By the age of 12, Uncle Buck, two Home Alone films, My Girl and (to a lesser extent) Richie Rich had made him the most successful child actor of all time. At 14, he became legally emancipated from his parents; both had been trying to gain control of his $17m fortune in their divorce. Culkin married at 17, and separated two years later. Sleepovers with Michael Jackson became public knowledge when he was called as a defence witness at the singers molestation trial. Im ghoulishly fascinated by this alien childhood. Id like to ask about Michael Jackson.

In Home Alone (1990). Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

I think its best you dont, interjects his manager. She is one of three people sitting with us. Its not that its a painful topic … begins Culkin. His manager insists we move on, the PR next to her agrees. Culkin clearly wants to say something, but six eyes are telling him not to.

I suspect were both wondering why were here; 35-year-old Culkin doesnt do this sort of thing any more, having turned his back on the spotlight. I dont just turn my back, I actively dont want it. The paps go after me because I dont whore myself out. He has spent a decade turning down interviews, and mostly lives in France, where the aloof Parisians leave him alone. (Its also where Kevin McCallisters family were headed when they left him Home Alone, but we cant talk about that.) I get the impression hes as eager to talk about a price comparison website as I am to ask about one. Instead, I ask why people are still fascinated by him.

I have no idea. I was thinking about this the other day Id crossed the wrong street, picked up a tail, suddenly theres a crush of 20 paparazzi. Then people with cameraphones get involved. I dont think Im worthy of that.

With Michael Jackson in 2001. Photograph: Kevin Kane/WireImage

Has it got better with time?

Its been like that my whole adult life. You take on a prey-like attitude, always scanning the horizon. Its strange on dates, as it looks like youre not paying attention. But Ive stopped trying to think of myself in the third person, because thats just gonna drive me nuts.

You had to think about yourself in the third person?

Exactly. Macaulay Culkin is out there, and Im Mac. You guys can play with the first one.

Hes not averse to a bit of playing himself, for Culkin is the celebritys meta-celebrity. You may remember the meme-meltdown a few years back when Ryan Gosling was pictured wearing a T-shirt of Kevin McCallister. Culkin responded by creating a T-shirt that pictured Gosling wearing the shirt, before Gosling responded in kind, being photographed wearing a T-shirt of Culkin wearing a T-shirt of Gosling wearing a T-shirt of Culkin. They may still be at it for all we know.

Culkins previous ads, for the likes of Orange (and, in a Partridge move, the rebranding of Norwich Union), trade in close-to-the-bone self-analysis. For Compare the Market, he plays a hitchhiker picked up by the lovable meerkats, who see him as a child, buying him ice-cream and making him ride merry-go-rounds hes too big for.

In 2006, Culkin wrote an experimental novel, Junior, from the perspective of a certifiable child star with father issues. In web comedy :DRYVRS, hes a blood-spattered sadist, unhinged by the childhood trauma of parental abandonment, and defending himself against home invaders. Is all this self-quoting what hes drawn to, or just what he gets offered? A bit of both. It suits my personality and sense of humour. But I would be game for something non-self-referential.

Given this dilemma constantly returning to a past he wants distance from where does his sense of self come from? From me. I try to figure out what makes me happy and not in a superficial way. I keep my soul fit. Is he spiritual? I know enough to know I dont know. I was raised Catholic, so theres a lot of guilt. Were born with original sin. He veers off into a joke. Since I was told that, Ive been trying to come up with even more original sins, thatll really blow my priest away at confession. Like, heres one you havent heard it involves a pitching wedge, a donkey and a bucket of ice. And two meerkats? Yeah! You might wanna record this one!

With his brother, Kieran Culkin, c 1990. Photograph: Dave Benett/Getty Images

He reflects. Actually, Im very much at peace lately. I can debate with people, and my heart rate never changes. And Culkin is witty and affable. Funny, but distant. He offers confrontational figures of speech amiably. If you want to get into an argument with an artist, ask them what art is, he says. If you want to make an actor feel uncomfortable, ask them what theyre doing next. (I hastily scribble out one of the few questions Ive written down.)

Are his debates political? I have leanings, but Im the definition of a disenfranchised voter I think the system is ugly. This whole Trump thing is amazing. (Trump cameos in Home Alone 2, showing our hero the way to the Plaza Hotel lobby, although we cant talk about it.) Culkin doesnt want to be drawn further. Discussing politics is the quickest way to alienate people, so I dont wanna go into it. And Trump has enough column inches? Exactly! Hes like the Candyman, we have to stop saying his name.

Culkin was acting at four, an age at which no one knows what they want beyond watching cartoons and eating oversugared cereal. Having described himself as effectively retired, he works occasionally (voices for Seth Greens Robot Chicken, cameoing as himself in Zoolander 2), but: Im much more proactive with visual arts and writing, my notebook and little projects. Of the projects that reach the public, most could charitably be classed as divisive. There are paintings: one of the cast of Seinfeld on the set of Wheel of Fortune, being painted, nude, by He-Man. Theres The Wrong Ferrari, a Dadaist knockabout written on ketamine with Adam Green of the Moldy Peaches, shot entirely on iPhones. Most notorious is the Pizza Underground, his Velvet Underground tribute act that replaces the original lyrics with pizza puns (Im Waiting for Delivery Man, Take a Bite of the Wild Slice). At Nottingham Rock City, the band were pelted with beer and booed off stage as he played a kazoo solo. They cancelled their European dates, citing a cheesemergency. My question about all this is: what the hell?

Its one of those good ideas you have when youre drunk, and you wake up and forget about it. But were taking it to the end of the joke. We have an album coming out, a vinyl pressing with a childrens choir, a symphony orchestra. Were giving it away, our gift to the world. Does he still find it funny? Of course I find it funny! We rhyme mushrooms with mushrooms, come on. Its the same joke, relentlessly. Like, theyre really doing this?

Culkin enjoys the absurdity his fame bestows. But scrutiny has its downside. In New York, he takes walks at 4am to avoid harassment. On YouTube, one can find clips of him being harassed by wannabe-paps with smartphones. In 2012, photographs of him looking gaunt, almost transparent, set tabloids aflame with stories he was addicted to heroin and oxycodone, following the breakdown of his relationship with Mila Kunis. Given his friendship with Adam Green and Pete Doherty as well as a previous arrest for possession of marijuana, Xanax and clonazepam it seemed plausible.

Performing as Pizza Underground with Deenah Vollmer. Photograph: Sam Santos/WireImage

Were people right to be worried? Not necessarily. Of course, when silly stuff is going on but no, I was not pounding six grand of heroin every month or whatever. The thing that bugged me was tabloids wrapping it all in this weird guise of concern. No, youre trying to shift papers. Is there a story there he might want to tell one day, on his own terms? Perhaps.

Whatever his recreational habits, Im surprised by how unscrewed-up Macaulay Culkin is. Plans for the summer mainly involve roadying for Har Mar Superstar and Green (with whom he has another lo-fi film out, Aladdin). Home is where my boots are. Im a big fan of jumping on peoples tourbuses, making myself useful, doing load-ins and outs. I do everything except the merch table. I tried that, but … we didnt sell anything.

He has directionless days. He sleeps in, stays up late, indulges immature humour, bounces around with bad-influence friends. In short, hes enjoying the adolescence that celebrity stole from him. Ironically, his personal problems and turbulent relationship with the media have also given him a pretty grown-up perspective. Not a bad epilogue for a child star.

Its allowed me to become the person I am, and I like me, so I wouldnt change a thing. Not having to do anything for my dinner, financially, lets me treat every gig like its the last. He laughs, and this time addresses himself in the second person. If it is, Id think: Culkin, you had a good run.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/macaulay-culkin-no-i-was-not-pounding-six-grand-of-heroin-a-month/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181995008877