#LIKE IT IS THE SIX FLAGS SONG WITHOUT FAIL

[partialnoodle]

forgot i bought that god damn vengaboys song on fortnite and put it as my lobby music so it scares the shit out of me everytime i am forced to go back to the lobby or login

[shixcherie]

Damsel In Stress | Jeong Yunho & Song Mingi ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆ Day 04 : Bodyguards, Shower Sex

↬ [ Synopsis ] : When your bodyguards, devilishly handsome and undeniably sexy, promise you a night to remember, you take it all in stride. Whether it’s bending the rules or indulging in steamy shower sex, you’re ready to embrace the thrill, surrendering yourself completely to the experience.

Word Count : 3.9k Genre : Smut, Angst, Bodyguard Au. Pairing : Bodyguard! Yunho x F.Reader x Bodyguard! Mingi

WARNINGS : Pure smut, shower sex, double penetration, dom/sub undertones, multiple orgasms, praise, petnames ( doll and princess), playful banter and flirting, big dick agenda, mention of alchol and drug consumption.

Tag list OPEN! - let me know if you want to be tagged for this Kinktober list

☆☆☆ NOTE : Day 4 is here, and this is huge just like our handsome boys, Yunho and Mingi. :P . Hope you enjoy this ma chéries. This story contains themes related to alcohol and drug use. Reader discretion is advised.

“Yunho, ahh... keep going, please don’t stop” you cried as Yunho mercilessly pounded deep into you, his thrusts turning your brain to mush. “So good, princess, taking us so well.”

Us? Did he just say “US”?

“Is this what you wanted, doll?” Mingi's deep voice purred from behind, sending a shiver down your spine. “Feels good, doesn’t it… being taken care of like this?” His words heightened the sensation of being at the mercy of your two deliciously handsome bodyguards.

As you pieced together the situation, it felt messy, thrilling, and was definitely going to be hard to explain to your daddy.

Wait… how did you end up here?

Let’s rewind a bit.

—

Your friends called you “Damsel In Distress” for being daddy’s little princess, constantly getting saved by him and your bodyguards Yunho and Mingi and being the mischievous talk of the town. Causing trouble was not something you chose to indulge in voluntarily; it was just that wherever you went, trouble followed you like a loyal dog following its master.

Coming from an opulent family didn’t help either, because people loved to pick on someone who had everything that they didn’t and couldn’t have. Taking behind your back, purposely messing up your drinks to see daddy’s little princess act crazy, and snatching your boyfriend Mingyu were a few things that you had been dealing with for the past six months. With your best friends turning their backs on you, your situation got a thousand times worse. Bullying turned into actual harassment, and this daddy’s little princess went feral.

Up until a point, you did tolerate it; you got your dead mom’s patience after all. You didn’t want anything from a woman who cheated on your S-tier, greenest of the green flag, ultra pro max gentleman daddy, but fate had a way of shoving things down your throat that you didn’t want to be associated with at all. Hence, you were a spitting image of your mom, but the good thing was you got your dad’s behavior and morals, making you the most loyal person you would ever meet.

You were more like a “Damsel In Stress” after multiple failed relationships and a damaged reputation in university. The only people you could gawk at without getting labeled as a “creep” were your handsome bodyguards, Yunho and Mingi. Tall and handsome with Greek god-ish builds, they made anything in their vicinity appear minuscule, and your 5’3” tall frame didn’t help much.

But where your height lacked, you made up for it with your attitude (short girlies for the win). The last six months were the most nightmarish months of your whole freaking life; getting addicted to substances, smoking weed, and sneaking out at late hours to attend God knows what kind of parties became your choice of escape. Your only option.

These were the only things that somehow filled the empty void, hence your daddy decided to ignore it for a while, as long as you were safely back home at dawn, and Yunho and Mingi, being the most dutiful and uptight bodyguards, made sure of it.

Tonight was different, though.

Why? Because you met this girl online, her name’s Ryujin.

You both clicked instantly, shared similar past troubles, and were freshly single, addicted to drugs. You girlies had been planning a getaway to spend a wild night out.

Ryujin found this party happening a few hours' drive from your mansion, kinda illegal with everything from dangerous drugs to premium liquor available, but promising a wild night.

You needed that.

Hence, you sneaked out again without anyone noticing, not even your bodyguards. You sneakily tranquilized their drinks, hehe, not advisable, but kinda the need of the hour.

Then how did this perfectly well-planned night take such an unexpected turn?

You were here to forget all your sorrows, so why were you lying on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, disgusting, your body so limp it felt like you took a thousand fucking punches, not remembering a single thing? The last thing you remembered was Ryujin crying on her knees beside you, fear calling your bodyguards. Yes, they were saved on speed dial just so you could escape out of situations like these without daddy noticing it.

But what happened with you? Did you drink too much? Ingest something so strong that it blacked you the fuck out?

A thousand questions swirled around your mind as darkness took over. You could feel yourself being picked up off the cold and dirty bathroom floor, Ryujin thanking Yunho as he offered to drop her back home, which she declined sweetly, mentioning she could drive back as she had bought her car and had almost sobered up. Fucking traitor! Why call them?!

Wait, Yunho?! What about your drugged drink? Did it not work on them? Who the fuck is carrying you? Is it Mingi? Not complaining at all; you had dreamt of moments like this.

But when—how did they know—why—what the actual motherfucking fuck is this mess?

Yeah, your intoxicated brain couldn’t handle any more, and you passed out.

When the tiniest consciousness slipped into your brain, you opened your eyes to gaze upon the glorious sight in front of you: fine-as-freaking-wine men driving you somewhere.

“What are you guys doing here?” you asked, even if you knew what was going to come your way. “Aren’t you both supposed to be... umm... sleeping?”

It's our job to take care of you.

“It’s our job to look out for you, doll” Mingi replied with a small smile,just the way you expected, his deep voice slightly registering in your intoxicated mind, and huh, did he just call you doll?

“Sleeping? That’s cute. Aren’t you supposed to be in bed by now, princess?” Yunho asked you, a smug look adorning his face, still not answering your question, his sexy smirk visible from the rearview mirror.

What the fuck with these nicknames?

“Guess the dosage wasn’t strong enough, huh?” Mingi chipped in, his handsome frame in the driver’s seat way too distracting for you to register whatever the fuck he said, something along the lines of dosage being strong.

Huh?! You just got caught. Is there a way out of this? Will daddy find out? Will you be punished?

“He-hehe, what dosage are you talking about?” you nervously laughed, thinking of what to say next.

“Can we not play dumb anymore, princess?” Yunho teased, giving you a look that clearly said daddy’s princess just got caught. “Sorry to disappoint you, but boys don’t take naps on the job.” That sealed the deal for you; even the freaking drug betrayed you.

Your lips formed a thin line, your mind made up that any more excuses you planned on coming up with were not going to work on them anymore. You sighed in defeat, earning a chuckle from both of them.

A piercing silence fell over the car, soon replaced by a thick tension that made you shift uncomfortably in your seat, filthy thoughts flickering through your mind like a movie reel.

Was it the sexual frustration building up over the last six months, or the effects of the intoxication? You couldn’t pinpoint it.

But every time you caught Yunho's intense gaze through the rearview mirror, a jolt ran down your spine, heat pooling low in your stomach. His smirk never faltered, his eyes shifting between you and the road, as if he knew exactly what was running through your head.

Mingi, sitting beside him, wasn’t any less subtle. His broad hand casually rested on the steering wheel, but his eyes would drift toward you whenever he thought you weren’t looking. That small smile from earlier still lingered on his lips, making your pulse quicken. You couldn't shake the way his deep voice wrapped around that nickname, “doll”. It felt too intimate, too... dangerous.

Why were your bodyguards acting up today? Was it the aftereffects of the drug, or perhaps... they did feel some kind of way towards you?

So, it wasn’t just you after all, was it? They had been battling with the same thoughts, the same desire simmering beneath the surface. You could feel it—thick in the air, undeniable. A flush creep up your neck, only heightening the tension.

“What’s wrong, princess? Feeling a little too warm?” Yunho teased, his voice laced with amusement as he noticed the way you shifted in your seat again.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing, but there was no escaping the heat radiating from both of them.

They knew exactly what they were doing to you.

As Mingi turned down a quieter street, the path leading exactly where you feared, their house, your fears were confirmed. Or perhaps, it wasn’t fear at all... but excitement for what was about to come next.

Mingi pulled the car to a stop in front of their house, your pulse quickens heart racing a million miles in equal parts anticipation and fear, as Yunho opened the door for you, his hand reaching out to help you step down. His fingers brushed against your skin, seemingly innocent, but it sent a spark of electricity through your body.

No words were exchanged as they led you inside, the door closing behind you with a soft click. The air was thick with unspoken tension, the kind that had been building for months. You were halfway across the living room when Mingi’s deep voice broke the silence.

“You’re trembling, doll” he murmured, stepping closer. His proximity was intoxicating, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. “Nervous? Or is it something else?”

Before you could respond, Yunho was behind you, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned in. “You didn’t think you could drug us and just walk away, did you, princess?” His voice was low, teasing, and far too close for your mind to stay clear.

You turned to face him, heart hammering, but the words stuck in your throat as Yunho’s eyes darkened. In one swift motion, his lips claimed yours—demanding, taking what had been simmering between you for far too long. His kiss was messy, mind-numbing, filled with hunger. A hunger you hadn’t fully realized, or maybe one you’d knowingly ignored given the forbidden nature of your relationship with them.

Before you could catch your breath, Mingi was there. His hand gently tilted your chin toward him, his lips hovering over yours as he whispered, “We’re not finished with you yet.” The words sent a shiver through you. And before you could process the weight of them, his mouth was on yours—slow, deliberate, and utterly consuming, like he had all the time in the world.

You were experiencing things you had once only dreamed of, especially given the state of desperation you felt a few months ago. Even though you had deliberately ignored the hints Yunho and Mingi dropped, this moment felt like a culmination of all those unspoken desires.

A wave of validation washed over you, filling your heart with satisfaction as you realized that they shared the same hunger and lust that had been simmering within you for so long.The hunger that had been building for months had finally ignited, and there was no turning back.

As Mingi continued to kiss you, Yunho decided to take over your neck, decorating it with butterfly kisses. “You taste so sweet,princess” he murmured, nipping at your skin, urging pretty moans from you that were muffled by Mingi’s skillful lips.

“Is she always this responsive?” Mingi teased, pulling back slightly to glance at you, his eyes dark with desire. “We could get used to this.”

“Don’t let it go to your head” you shot back playfully, but your breath hitched as Yunho continued his trail of kisses.

Purple marks blossomed along your neck as Yunho explored further, nibbling on your earlobe before kissing you behind the ear. “You’re driving me wild,do you know that ?” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “We might just want to keep you like this forever.”

“Guess I found your sweet spot” Yunho smirked, oblivious to the way your body reacted as he kept kissing and nibbling that delicate area.

“Mhmm… Yunho… don’t stop” you gasped, earning a chuckle from him at the way his name rolled off your tongue. Your hands tangled in Mingi’s hair as he maintained his steamy kiss.

Mingi pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his voice low and husky. “Just imagine what else we can do to you, doll.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it” you chuckled softly, meeting his gaze. With a playful smirk, you added, “Have a feeling you two won’t disappoint me.”

Yunho caught your eye, his grin playful. “You have no idea how much we’ve been wanting this, do you?”

With a mischievous glint in your eye, you teased, “I might have had a hint… but now, I want a full demonstration.” It was true, tensions had always heightened between the three of you. But given the restrictions and the lack of loose moments like this, it had kept you from exploring each other,until now.

Mingi leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “Don’t worry, we’ll give you a show you won’t forget.”

Mingi's hands found the hem of your top, pulling it up slowly. “Let me take this off for you,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire as the fabric slipped away, leaving your skin bare to his hungry gaze. His gaze had you wet down south, aching to be touched and devoured.

Yunho stepped closer, his fingers eagerly working on your jeans. “You look incredible, but let’s make it even better, shall we?” he teased, his breath hot against your ear as he slid your jeans down your legs, pooling at your feet.

The cold air making contact with you sent goosebumps all over your body, excitement coursing through you.A faint sound of water running caught your ears—was it the shower? A knowing look spread across your face. Ah, so that’s what these two had been planning.

Quite steamy, you thought, and utterly exciting.

The idea of the three of you under the shower, bodies pressed together, both your holes stuffed to the brim,had your arousal pooling, your core dripping with desire.

“Figured it out already, doll?” Mingi chuckled, a knowing look in his eyes as he glanced toward the bathroom where the water was running.

“Then, princess shall not wait any longer” Yunho added, his voice low and sultry, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine.

Both of them took your hands, guiding you toward the bathroom. As you stood under the shower, water cascaded down your body, the heat mixing with your own as you surrendered to the moment.

Yunho's hands cupped your breasts, his touch igniting a fire within you. He played with your now-hard nipples as your head rested back on his shoulder, eyes closed, a disheveled mess with your lips caught between your teeth.

Mingi knelt before you, his gaze intense as he admired how the water glistened on your skin. “You’re absolutely breathtaking” he said, his fingers teasingly grazing your inner thighs before moving higher.

Your breath hitched as Mingi's fingers finally found your dripping core, sliding through your folds that left you gasping. “How does that feel, princess?” he asked, looking up at you with a smirk, clearly enjoying your reaction.

“Unbelievably good” you breathed, leaning back against Yunho, who continued to play with your breasts, his thumbs circling your nipples, making them harden under his touch.

Mingi’s fingers skillfully explored your slick heat, swirling and teasing, collecting soft moans from your lips. “Cum for us, doll. Just enjoy this moment with us” he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction as he picked up the pace, each back-and-forth movement driving you wild.

Yunho's hands moved from your breasts to your waist, steadying you as Mingi's fingers worked their magic. The tension within you built, a delicious pressure threatening to consume you.

Yunho’s breath was hot against your ear as he kissed the delicate spot, quickening your heart and serving as the final blow that made everything come undone.

With a soft gasp, you surrendered to the waves of pleasure, losing yourself completely in the moment as you released onto Mingi’s fingers.

Your head slumped against Yunho’s shoulder as he held you, and you watched Mingi lick your juices off his chubby fingers before shoving them into Yunho's mouth. The sight in front of you sent butterflies racing in your stomach; watching them taste your slick made your core throb with a desperate need for attention.

Without wasting any more time, Yunho twisted your body toward him, his lips glistening with remnants of your juices as hot water cascaded down his face. His hands pulled you closer, signaling you to jump. You wrapped your legs around his waist, a sense of urgency consuming you. In one swift motion, he thrust his hard, aching length into you, filling you completely.

“God, you feel incredible, baby” Yunho groaned, his eyes dark with lust as he relished the sensation of you around him, your walls hugging him providing a warm yet tempting sensation. He was hungry, yet he held back, waiting for Mingi to join.

Taking the cue, Mingi closed the distance, positioning himself behind you. “You ready for more, doll?” he asked, his voice low and sultry, sending a shiver down your spine. You nodded eagerly, excitement pooling in your stomach.

With a firm grip on your hips, Mingi pressed himself against you, slowly pushing his cock inside your ass. “You’re so tight” he grunted, a mix of pleasure and disbelief in his voice as he slid deeper. “You’re going to feel amazing filled up by both of us.”

The sensation was overwhelming; the hot water, both your holes occupied, and the intoxicating feeling of being completely claimed by both men. You let out a breathy moan, a mix of pleasure and slight discomfort as you adjusted to the sensation.

“I’ve never felt anything like this. Boys, please move.” you gasped but responded to them, your body trembling with delight.

Yunho tightened his grip on you, his thrusts steady and deep, matching Mingi's rhythm as he began to move behind you. “Just relax and let us take care of you” Yunho whispered against your ear, his breath hot and inviting. “You’re going to love this.”

“We’ve got you, princess” Mingi encouraged, his hands finding your waist, guiding your movements as they both took you to new heights of pleasure. “Close your eyes and let loose.”

You obeyed as their pace quickened, drawing a chorus of moans from your lips, leaving you breathless. The overwhelming sensation, mixed with the heat of the water, only heightened your arousal. The boys were just as breathless, groaning with each hard thrust. Mingi's lips parted in a string of "oh my gods" as he pushed deeper inside you. You could feel him on the edge, just like your own release was building to its peak.

Suddenly, Yunho slowed his thrusts, savoring the moment as he realized both you and Mingi were hovering on the edge. “What’s the rush, baby?” he teased, his voice low and sultry. “We want to feel every single second .”

Mingi chuckled, pressing his chest against your back, his hands gripping your hips firmly. “Let’s take our time” he whispered hotly against your ear. “We want to enjoy you completely.”

The change in pace drove you wild, and you squirmed between them, desperate for more. “Please… don’t stop” you gasped, the need overwhelming you.

“Such a needy little thing” Yunho murmured with a wicked grin. “Just the way we like it.” With that, he picked up the pace again, thrusting into you harder, while Mingi added more pressure from behind, teasing and heightening the electric pleasure surging through you.

The urgency in your core built up rapidly. “I’m so close” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut as everything else faded away, only the two of them and the pleasure they gave you remained.

“I can’t hold on much longer, gonna cum.” you gasped, your body trembling between them. An urged need to release and break apart washed over you pushing you more and more and over the edge.

Yunho and Mingi exchanged knowing glances, their thrusts becoming more conssitent and delicious. “Cum for us, doll.” Mingi urged, his sultry voice in your ear. “We’re right there with you.”

With a final deep thrust from Yunho and Mingi's teasing dicks, pleasure crashed over you like a huge wave. A loud moan escaped your lips as your release hit, sending shock waves through your entire body. “Holy fuck”

Feeling you clench around him, Yunho groaned, his grip tightening. Mingi pressed against you from behind, both men overwhelmed by your powerful release had their cocks twitching for a release.

“Damn, you feel incredible” Yunho breathed, thrusting erratically. “We’re right behind you, princess.”

With one last powerful thrust, Yunho filled you, followed by Mingi, their warmth mingling as waves of pleasure crashed over you once more.

As they pulled out, you leaned back against Yunho, feeling blissfully satisfied. “Best shower ever” you murmured, wrapped in the warmth of their embrace

"I can’t hold on much longer,please…aa.aa, gonna cum” you gasped, your body trembling between them. The overwhelming need to release washed over you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

Yunho and Mingi exchanged knowing glances, their thrusts becoming more consistent and deliberate. “Cum for us, doll” Mingi urged, his sultry voice in your ear. “We’re right there with you.”

With a final deep thrust from Yunho and Mingi's teasing strokes, pleasure crashed over you like a tidal wave. A loud moan escaped your lips as your release hit, sending shockwaves through your entire body. “Holy fuck…”

Feeling you clench around him, Yunho groaned, his grip tightening. Mingi pressed against you from behind, both men overwhelmed by your powerful release, their cocks twitching as they chased their own.

“Damn, you feel incredible” Yunho breathed, thrusting erratically. “We’re right behind you, princess.”

With one last powerful thrust, Yunho spilled into you, followed by Mingi, their warmth mingling as waves of pleasure crashed over you again.

As they pulled out, you leaned back against Yunho, feeling blissfully satisfied. “Best shower ever,” you murmured, wrapped in the warmth of their embrace.

Truly that was the best shower and the best sex ever.

Yunho and Mingi stepped out of the shower, with Yunho carrying you. They took care of you, drying your hair and helping you get dressed before cleaning themselves up. Being taken care of like this was something you hadn’t experienced in a while, and it felt nice, you heart did a happy dance as you smiled at them, soaking their warm energy in.

Once dressed, you and Yunho settled on the living room couch, flipping through random channels on TV. Mingi soon joined, bringing refreshments, and settled on your left. The three of you cuddled on the couch, with you sandwiched between their warm, muscular bodies.

“What about my dad...?” you trailed off, the thought of explaining this to him crossing your mind as he was set to return from his business trip.

“Let’s worry about that later, yeah princess?” Yunho suggested, stealing a quick peck from your lips.

“Let’s just enjoy being together now, doll” Mingi added, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

Yeah that for the future you to worry. We’ll take care of daddy, lets enjoy the present for now.

For Now, Damsel no longer in stress.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

DISCLAIMER: This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

© ShixCherie.

[idkinsertfanreferencehere]

Vivas To Those Who Have Failed: The Paterson Silk Strike, 1913

Vivas to those who have fail'd! And to those whose war-vessels sank in the sea! And to those themselves who sank in the sea! And to all generals that lost engagements, and all overcome heroes! And the numberless unknown heroes equal to the greatest heroes known! —Walt Whitman

I. The Red Flag

The newspapers said the strikers would hoist

the red flag of anarchy over the silk mills

of Paterson. At the strike meeting, a dyers' helper

from Naples rose as if from the steam of his labor,

lifted up  his hand and said here is the red flag:

brightly stained with dye for the silk of bow ties

and scarves, the skin and fingernails boiled away

for six dollars a week in the dye house.

He sat down without another word, sank back

into the fumes, name and face rubbed off

by oblivion's thumb like a Roman coin

from the earth of his birthplace dug up

after a thousand years, as the strikers

shouted the only praise he would ever hear. 

II. The River Floods the Avenue

He was the other Valentino, not the romantic sheik

and bullfighter of silent movie palaces who died too young,

but the Valentino standing on his stoop to watch detectives

hired by the company bully strikebreakers onto a trolley

and a chorus of strikers bellowing the banned word scab.

He was not a striker or a scab, but the bullet fired to scatter

the crowd pulled the cork in the wine barrel of Valentino's back.

His body, pale as the wings of a moth, lay beside his big-bellied wife.

Two white-veiled horses pulled the carriage to the cemetery.

Twenty thousand strikers walked behind the hearse, flooding

the avenue like the river that lit up the mills, surging around

the tombstones. Blood for blood, cried Tresca: at this signal,

thousands of hands dropped red carnations and ribbons

into the grave, till the coffin evaporated in a red sea.

III. The Insects in the Soup

Reed was a Harvard man. He wrote for the New York magazines.

Big Bill, the organizer, fixed his good eye on Reed and told him

of the strike. He stood on a tenement porch across from the mill

to escape the rain and listen to the weavers. The bluecoats

told him to move on. The Harvard man asked for a name to go

with the number on the badge, and the cops tried to unscrew

his arms from their sockets. When the judge asked his business,

Reed said: Poet. The judge said: Twenty days in the county jail.

Reed was a Harvard man. He taught the strikers Harvard songs,

the tunes to sing with rebel words at the gates of the mill. The strikers

taught him how to spot the insects in the soup, speaking in tongues

the gospel of One Big Union and the eight-hour day, cramming the jail

till the weary jailers had to unlock the doors. Reed would write:

There's war in Paterson. After it was over, he rode with Pancho Villa.

IV. The Little Agitator

The cops on horseback charged into the picket line.

The weavers raised their hands across their faces,

hands that knew the loom as their fathers' hands

knew the loom, and the billy clubs broke their fingers.

Hannah was seventeen, the captain of the picket line,

the Joan of Arc of the Silk Strike. The prosecutor called her

a little agitator. Shame, said the judge; if she picketed again,

he would ship her to the State Home for Girls in Trenton.

Hannah left the courthouse to picket the mill. She chased

a strikebreaker down the street, yelling in Yidish the word

for shame. Back in court, she hissed at the judge's sentence

of another striker. Hannah got twenty days in jail for hissing.

She sang all the way to jail. After the strike came the blacklist,

the counter at her husband's candy store, the words for shame.

V. Vivas to Those Who Have Failed

Strikers without shoes lose strikes. Twenty years after the weavers

and dyers' helpers returned hollow-eyed to the loom and the steam,

Mazziotti led the other silk mill workers marching down the avenue

in Paterson, singing the old union songs for five cents more an hour.

Once again the nightsticks cracked cheekbones like teacups.

Mazziotti pressed both hands to his head, squeezing red ribbons

from his scalp. There would be no buffalo nickel for an hour's work

at the mill, for the silk of bow ties and scarves. Skull remembered wood.

The brain thrown against the wall of the skull remembered too:

the Sons of Italy, the Workmen's Circle, Local 152, Industrial

Workers of the World, one-eyed Big Bill and Flynn the Rebel Girl

speaking in tongues to thousands the prophecy of an eight-hour day.

Mazziotti's son would become a doctor, his daughter a poet.

Vivas to those who have failed: for they become the river.

-Martín Espada, copyright 2015

[sashayed]

Vivas To Those Who Have Failed: The Paterson Silk Strike, 1913

Vivas to those who have fail'd! And to those whose war-vessels sank in the sea! And to those themselves who sank in the sea! And to all generals that lost engagements, and all overcome heroes! And the numberless unknown heroes equal to the greatest heroes known! —Walt Whitman

I. The Red Flag

The newspapers said the strikers would hoist the red flag of anarchy over the silk mills of Paterson. At the strike meeting, a dyers' helper from Naples rose as if from the steam of his labor, lifted up  his hand and said here is the red flag: brightly stained with dye for the silk of bow ties and scarves, the skin and fingernails boiled away for six dollars a week in the dye house.

He sat down without another word, sank back into the fumes, name and face rubbed off by oblivion's thumb like a Roman coin from the earth of his birthplace dug up after a thousand years, as the strikers shouted the only praise he would ever hear. 

II. The River Floods the Avenue

He was the other Valentino, not the romantic sheik and bullfighter of silent movie palaces who died too young, but the Valentino standing on his stoop to watch detectives hired by the company bully strikebreakers onto a trolley and a chorus of strikers bellowing the banned word scab. He was not a striker or a scab, but the bullet fired to scatter the crowd pulled the cork in the wine barrel of Valentino's back. His body, pale as the wings of a moth, lay beside his big-bellied wife.

Two white-veiled horses pulled the carriage to the cemetery. Twenty thousand strikers walked behind the hearse, flooding the avenue like the river that lit up the mills, surging around the tombstones. Blood for blood, cried Tresca: at this signal, thousands of hands dropped red carnations and ribbons into the grave, till the coffin evaporated in a red sea.

III. The Insects in the Soup

Reed was a Harvard man. He wrote for the New York magazines. Big Bill, the organizer, fixed his good eye on Reed and told him of the strike. He stood on a tenement porch across from the mill to escape the rain and listen to the weavers. The bluecoats told him to move on. The Harvard man asked for a name to go with the number on the badge, and the cops tried to unscrew his arms from their sockets. When the judge asked his business, Reed said: Poet. The judge said: Twenty days in the county jail.

Reed was a Harvard man. He taught the strikers Harvard songs, the tunes to sing with rebel words at the gates of the mill. The strikers taught him how to spot the insects in the soup, speaking in tongues the gospel of One Big Union and the eight-hour day, cramming the jail till the weary jailers had to unlock the doors. Reed would write: There's war in Paterson. After it was over, he rode with Pancho Villa.

IV. The Little Agitator

The cops on horseback charged into the picket line. The weavers raised their hands across their faces, hands that knew the loom as their fathers' hands knew the loom, and the billy clubs broke their fingers. Hannah was seventeen, the captain of the picket line, the Joan of Arc of the Silk Strike. The prosecutor called her a little agitator. Shame, said the judge; if she picketed again, he would ship her to the State Home for Girls in Trenton.

Hannah left the courthouse to picket the mill. She chased a strikebreaker down the street, yelling in Yidish the word for shame. Back in court, she hissed at the judge's sentence of another striker. Hannah got twenty days in jail for hissing. She sang all the way to jail. After the strike came the blacklist, the counter at her husband's candy store, the words for shame.

V. Vivas to Those Who Have Failed

Strikers without shoes lose strikes. Twenty years after the weavers and dyers' helpers returned hollow-eyed to the loom and the steam, Mazziotti led the other silk mill workers marching down the avenue in Paterson, singing the old union songs for five cents more an hour. Once again the nightsticks cracked cheekbones like teacups. Mazziotti pressed both hands to his head, squeezing red ribbons from his scalp. There would be no buffalo nickel for an hour's work at the mill, for the silk of bow ties and scarves. Skull remembered wood.

The brain thrown against the wall of the skull remembered too: the Sons of Italy, the Workmen's Circle, Local 152, Industrial Workers of the World, one-eyed Big Bill and Flynn the Rebel Girl speaking in tongues to thousands the prophecy of an eight-hour day. Mazziotti's son would become a doctor, his daughter a poet. Vivas to those who have failed: for they become the river.

Martín Espada from Vivas to Those Who Have Failed, 2015

[anotherwvba]

20 Questions with Cutie Hondo

excerpt from WVBA Online Magazine

WVBA Online is here with another survey to get better acquainted with another Women’s Circuit competitor. Today, it's the kawaii KO artist herself, Cutie Hondo.

Q: What’s your favorite sandwich and where did you eat it?

A: Coach 'Cane's gonna hate this, but it's Big Mac. I know... I know... they are terrible for you, but I used to get McDonald's back home as a treat as a kid. It's nostalgia.

Q: What’s your favorite place on earth?

A: Shinjuku Gyoen. It's beautiful and you can just lose yourself on a nice afternoon with a sketch pad and some charcoal.

Q: What’s one place you’ve visited that you never want to return to?

A: Can I say this? Should I? Okay... here goes. Our staff chiropractor's office? He's a nice old man, and he's very good. But swear I've seen his table in history books showing torture devices. Kowai!

Q: What’s the best show on TV right now?

A: This is my guilty pleasure. I *love* Kamen Rider. I never miss an episode. So right now, it's Kamen Rider Gotchard.

Q: If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

A: Hmm... I'm not really picky like that. Rice? No, wait... Niki's mom's mashed potatoes were amazing. Mashed potatoes. Wait... hold on... then there's Coach 'Cane's fish tacos... man...

Q: What’s the worst movie you ever saw?

A: My brother's gonna hate this... The Hidden Fortress. Piston loves chambara, um... samurai movies. The Hidden Fortress is one of his favorites, but I've had to sit through it SO. MANY. TIMES!

Q: What’s the best thing you’ve read in the last five years?

A: A text that Viktor Von Kaiser sent me the day after my fight with Niki. I shared it with her as soon as I read it and we both cried ugly tears. It meant so much and showed me the camaraderie that my brother talks about around here.

Q: What’s the one item of clothing you couldn’t live without?

A: My apron. Painting is my calming place right now. My art apron was a gift from my mother on my tenth birthday. Don't know what I'd do without it.

Q: If you could only bring three things with you on a deserted island, what would you pick?

A: Um... a boat and two 55 gallon drums of gas? No... Niki tried something like that? Of course, she did... lol! Then I guess my watercolors, my brushes, and the biggest box of watercolor paper I can find.

Q: If you could save one material thing from a fire, what would you save?

A: My apron. No contest.

Q: What’s your biggest pet peeve?

A: How to explain it? People don't try new things because they fear... failure. It's okay to fail. That's where lessons are learned. That's where we grow. It's one thing to not try because you are incapable or uninterested, it's another it's a fear of failure holding you back. There are people that will rally around you if you try and you let them.

Q: What is your favorite movie of all time?

A: That's so hard! Just one?! Okay... okay... if I've got to pick one, then it's Howl's Moving Castle. Warning to all the readers out there, respect fire or your pork products will never be safe.

Q: What is the best concert you have ever been to?

A: This is so cheesy, but it was in 2012. I was, like, 6 years old. It was the Kamen Rider × Super Sentai Live and Show. The big shows then were Kamen Rider Fourze and... oh yeah... Gokaiger! Sugoi!

Q: What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

A: So, I don't really date. I'm a homebody. I'd rather relax with my canvas and palette in a garden or curl up and watch a movie or hit the gym and train. But, I promise you, Niki's trying to change that! She might have a future as a nakōdo if she ever gets sick of computers.

Q: Would you rather be hot or cold?

A: This is weird. I'd rather be cold because it's easier to stay warm than cool. But... your girl *LOVES* waterparks! And Six Flags White Water and Hurricane Cove here in Atlanta... hanpa nai!

Q: What’s your favorite karaoke song?

A: I know I said I don't go out, but I do love some karaoke. Switch On by Anna Tsuchiya is probably my favorite. Just so nostalgic.

Q: What’s your favorite quote?

A: Sugar Ray Robinson was one of the great boxers ever, but this quote... it's poetry and so true. "Every move you make starts with your heart."

Q: What was the best meal you ever ate?

A: A: This is going to be so weird... before we left Japan, I begged to go to the Billy the Kid Steakhouse in Koto-ku. It's owned by Kurata Tetsuo, Kamen Rider Black. And it was awesome!

Q: What’s your least favorite genre of music?

A: No one can explain death metal to me. I just don't understand. Niki said the same thing? No way!

Q: Do you like coffee or tea better?

A: Tea. I'm such a tea snob. My apartment is almost a shrine to tea, all kinds. I even love your southern iced tea. It's so refreshing on a summer day as I practice my calligraphy or read a book.

[90363462]

R. Kelly’s Sadistic 30-Year Rampage Is Our Fault and We Have to Do Better

Bianca MercuriAugust 17, 2022

R. Kelly used to be known for the mark he made in R&B music. As a singer-songwriter, he’s had many accomplishments that launched him into stardom. More recently, he’s been known for his federal trials about the sexual assault allegations against him. But if we take a closer look at R. Kelly’s early life in the spotlight, even before any allegations, we can see a disturbing pattern that failed to be acknowledged with the severity it deserved.

RELATED: Meghan Markle Always Speaks Up Against Injustice–No Matter What Form It Takes

Let’s look at a timeline of the last three decades of R. Kelly’s life or sexual crimes and how he got away with it for so long. Who knew about these crimes and chose to ignore them, how did the tabloids skim over this and who were the victims who were brave enough to speak out?

R. Kelly’s Three Decades of Rampant Sexual Assault: A Timeline

In 1993, R. Kelly released his album 12 Playwhich sold more than 5 million copies. It included songs like “Sex Me” and “Bump N’ Grind”. It was common for his music to be sexual in nature, specifically in lyrical content. When looking at the context of the upcoming years, it definitely warrants some red flags.

It was in 1994 when Kelly started to exhibit dangerous behavior. He arranged a marriage ceremony at a Chicago hotel between himself and 15-year-old R&B singer Aaliyah D. Haughton. Only months later the marriage was annulled due to her age. Despite Kelly being 27 at the time, it seemed as though this incident was not viewed as threatening behavior on his part as it was skimmed over by the press. His music continued to thrive over the years which trumped any tabloid coverage of his predatory actions.

RELATED: Aaliyah’s Forgotten Light: Her Powerful Legacy Beyond Death — and R. Kelly

The sexual assault complaints began in 1997 with Tiffany Hawkins. She alleged that Kelly engaged in intentional sexual battery and sexual harassment while she was a minor. This lawsuit was settled in 1998. It’s reported that the settlement was for $250,000. Meanwhile, in that same year, Kelly goes on to win three Grammys for “I Believe I Can Fly”. Once again, the exploitative nature of his behind-the-scenes life going under the radar.

In 2002, the Chicago Sun-Times broke the news of a videotape that showed Kelly having sex with a minor. They reported that the Chicago police opened an investigation about the allegations but at the time, the girl and her parents denied that she was having sexual relations with Kelly. That same day, Kelly continued to perform at the opening ceremonies for the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. But, only months later that same year, Kelly is indicted in Chicago on child pornography charges from that videotape. He pleads not guilty and paid $750, 000 to be released on bail.

It was only in 2003 when these charges were acted upon and Kelly was arrested at a Florida hotel for additional pornography charges after police found explicit photos as well. Although, without a search warrant to search Kelly’s house, the charges were dropped. Until 2005, Kelly continued to release music that dominated the charts, earning number one spots and selling hundreds of thousands of copies of his music worldwide.

2005 to 2007 brings up more suspicious encounters with Kelly. His wife at the time Andrea Kelly requests an order of protection from Kelly after accusing him of hitting her when she asked for a divorce. Only six months after this incident in 2006, Kelly’s brother says that he was offered $50,000 and a record deal from the singer to claim he was the person in the sex tape. Disappointingly, in 2007 after all of this occurred his album Double Up peaked at number one on the Billboard Charts.

RELATED: Why Gwyneth Paltrow Will Never Forget The Moment Brad Pitt Stood Up for Her

In 2008 Kelly’s child pornography trial begins but he is acquitted after less than a day of deliberations.

This acquittal was followed by silence for many years. While Kelly stayed in the media for financial troubles including owing the IRS millions of dollars, his accusations of sexual misconduct were swept under the rug. It was only in 2017 when it was all brought back up by one Buzzfeed report on a parent’s claim that Kelly brainwashed their daughters and was keeping them in an abusive cult. They started the #MuteRKelly movement which went on to push for further investigation. This opened up Pandora’s box, allowing other victims to come forward.

In 2018, Faith Rodgers filed a lawsuit against R. Kelly for sexual battery, mental and verbal abuse as well as not disclosing that he had herpes and knowingly inflicting her with the viral infection. This case unfolds in the coming years and Rodgers discloses more information, saying that Kelly threatened to reveal embarrassing details of her sexual history if she didn’t drop the lawsuit.

The Cancelling of R. Kelly That Came 15 Years Too Late

2019 marks the true fall of R. Kelly and the justice that came 15 years too late. It all started with the release of Lifetime’s documentary Surviving R. Kelly which detailed his old allegations and brought new ones to light. This was not long after BBC’s R Kelly: Sex, Girls & Videotapes which had been released the previous year about the singer holding women against their will, corroborating the Buzzfeed report back in 2017.

RELATED: The Women Who Spoke Out Against Harvey Weinstein

In response to Surviving R. Kelly Lady Gagaremoved her duet with the singer from streaming services. Only a month after the documentary aired, attorney Michael Avenatti chimed in, providing Chicago prosecutors with new video evidence detailing Kelly and an underage girl, a video that is not the same as what was used in Kelly’s 2008 trial. This evidence led up to Kelly’s arrest on 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse. He posted bail after these charges, but soon after was charged once more with 11 new sex-related crimes in Chicago.

Kelly is indicted by a federal grand jury in the state of Chicago on child pornography, enticement of a minor, and obstruction of justice. The Eastern District of New York filed a separate charge including racketeering, kidnapping, forced labor, and sexual exploitation of a child. Finally, after posting bail many times in his life, Kelly was ordered to be held without bond as he posed an extreme danger to young women otherwise.

All happening in the same year, 2019 continues to be a train wreck for Kelly. He is charged in Minnesota for prostitution and solicitation in relation to an incident in 2001 where a minor was paid to dance nude with him.

RELATED: Johnny Depp Vs. Amber Heard: Why the Worst Thing about Hollywood’s Biggest Battle Might Be… Us?

Just when the world thought that the horrifying details of R. Kelly’s predatory patterns couldn’t get worse, we learn in 2021 that Kelly also had sexual contact with an underage boy and many minor girls which would become important in his upcoming trial. In his 2021 trial, the jury found Kelly guilty of sex trafficking and violation of the Mann Act which says that it’s illegal to cross state lines with anyone for immoral purposes.

But, it’s in June 2022 when Kelly is finally sentenced to 30 years in prison in his New York case. But, at this time, he is still scheduled to stand trial in Chicago on counts of child pornography and obstruction of justice charges.

Kelly, now 55, is currently facing charges in Chicago for coercing minors into sexual acts and multiple criminal counts related to child pornography. He is still set to stand trial for criminal charges in Illinois and Minnesota which will be dealt with after this ongoing federal court case.

Who Knew About R. Kelly’s Disturbing Patterns?

After seeing the timeline of all the allegations against Kelly, it’s impossible to recognize how far back they go. They are intertwined with his accolades, awards, and accomplishments which reinforce the idea that while his behavior was known, it was ignored. His lawyers and management protected him on top of his family who clearly knew of his wrongdoings. The media coverage took his music as a priority over his allegations which gave everyone else in the business and many of the audience at home permission to also ignore it, wondering if they had any merit to them.

RELATED: Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown Has Powerful Words Against Sexualizing Her – And Hollywood Needs to Listen

When accusations are made and ignored, it brings doubt about whether or not they’re true. Especially considering that he was acquitted in the past as well. But his past acquittal and posted bails are due to a lack of proper investigation. His fame is what got him out of trouble in the beginning, but could not save him in the end. Many listened to his music and watched him walk across red carpets. It was his life behind closed doors that was neatly packed away and rarely divulged. It was known and yet, not spoken about.

How many people knew about Kelly’s sexual assault allegations? It could be argued that it was public knowledge. So, why did it fly under the radar for so long? Women were scared to share their stories. They feared that no one would side with them, that they wouldn’t be believed. Any accusations before the “Me Too” movement in 2016 came with enough anxiety and fear to silence the victims.

R. Kelly’s Victims Are Real-Life Heroes

Society is moving forward, slowly but surely. With so many women now coming out with their own experiences with sexual battery, abuse, harassment, misconduct, and more, it’s hard to deny that this is a pattern that needs to be addressed. Cases like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby along with many others are just scratching the surface of Hollywood’s dark past with sexual crimes. 

The only way that true change can be achieved is through the bravery of the victims coming forward. We need to do better in our quest to take down sexual assault crimes, especially when it comes to vulnerable minors. Sexual predators can only get away with it if we let them. We need to pay more attention to the predators hiding in plain sight – like our TV screens. 

It takes true courage to share the scariest and most traumatic points of our lives, and the victims of not just R. Kelly, but victims of sexual crimes are doing so for the greater good. We are far from the justice that these women deserve, but the R. Kelly Chicago trial is a good place to start.

KEEP READING: 

Jessica Simpson’s Memoir Tells Us It’s Never Too Late To Reclaim Your Story

the thought that it took a six part three day documentary to expose how sick and twisted this bastard is is giving thank god and jfc at the same time. Thankful that some form of justice is served but it’s so f’ed up because it came over 15(or better yet thirty) years too late to save anyone else from sexual abuse and rape

[ahtsumu]

cOuNtRy BoY i LoVe YoUuU–– miya atsumu.

GENERAL HEADCANONS

☆ y’know that kid everyone hates but all the parents love? that’s miya atsumu for you

he’s such a mama’s boy ugh

she’ll see him with mud all over his jeans and be like “miya atsumu! what’d i tell you ‘bout goin’ muddin’!?” and he’s like “sorry ma! just got too excited”

and what’s she gonna do? nothing. absolutely nothing. she just laughs and shake her head because atsumu’s boyish charm is adorable

osamu hates this !!! they’re always competing for mama miya’s heart LOL

☆ says “mornin’ ma'am how’s your day been so far” to the gas station lady and then roasts the life out of his friends

anyone older than 30 adores atsumu to death and anyone his age thinks he’s the annoying dumb hot guy LMAO

☆ plays quarterback on the football team and he’s damn good at what he does !! he’s taken the team to nationals three times already and he’s hoping to end senior year with a first place trophy

☆ teachers also love him to death bc he’s such a sweet-talker and asking questions as if he actually cares about differential equations and antiderivatives but nooo LOL bby’s just trying to make the GPA cut for travelling

it’s a 2.2

☆ on days without practice he’ll hang out around the school parking lot with the Gang™, leaning against his pick-up truck and blasting music from his car speakers to look “cool”

rlly he’s just wasting his time and even his friends think it’s stupid asf like omg no one is looking. atsumu how r u not embarrassed

☆ drives stick shift and thinks he’s hot shit 😭😭😭 he’s not wrong it is hot tho

☆ plays country trap around the boys

when “old town road” first dropped lil nas x was on repeat for 2 months

atsumu has a playlist of EVERY SINGLE REMIX and he’s like “they’re differENT juSt liSTen!!!”

out of all of the boys he has the WORST taste in country music it’s deadass just lil nas x, florida georgia line, luke combs, and morgan wallen

sometimes he’ll spice it up with a little luke bryan but that’s pushing it 😭

his guilty pleasure is that one farmer song by lil tracy and lil uzi vert 

do not trust him with the aux

someone come collect him pls

☆ atsumu’s favourite southern meal undoubtedly has meat in it–– ribs, fried chicken, pulled pork, you name it

but he’s weak for peach cobbler and a side of vanilla ice cream for dessert bc homeboy’s got a massive sweet tooth

☆ he may be helpful in helping out with farmwork but this boy cannot fish to save his life

he has a picture of him holding a MASSIVE trout on his instagram and tinder (which he downloaded illegally for his ego lmfao) but really osamu caught it for dinner one night while camping and atsumu stole it for a 30 second photo

☆ owns camouflage but ironically ! 

whips it out on days he thinks suna might pull up in camo

why? no one knows. it cracks him up tho LMFAO

☆ atsumu actually dresses quite well–– his style is the typical southern prep: 

a pair of jeans/shorts and a crisp button-up paired with double monks

loves a good leather belt

his favourite leather is BROWN leather, thank you very much !

☆ owns cowboy boots and he’s so proud of them

they’re steel-toed and decorated by a simple stitch pattern but it gets all the city folks fawning over him so it’s his most prized possession

HE USES THEM TO IMPRESS CITY FOLK LOL he’s like “howdy” and they’re like 😍🤤😍🤤😍🤤

flirts by asking if they’d like to see his horse i––

☆ like his twin, atsumu is undoubtedly great with animals

dogs love him !! like they’re just naturally attracted to him plus he gets so smiley and happy around them

he was probably a golden retriever in a past life lmfaoo

he’s a phenomenal horse-rider too

he rides the horses out at night bc he just loves the wind in his face,,, like a dog

where he differs from osamu is that he hates the actual work of taking care of an animal lmao

☆ works a summer job at six flags because he loves going on rides for free he’s so cute ugh

DATING HEADCANONS

☆ aside from football atsumu also starts the inarizaki high school slam poetry club, which is, coincidentally, also just the entire football team 

listen it’s rlly cute how the slam poetry club was founded ok don’t laugh

after developing a massive crush on you, atsumu realises that he’s got too much of a meathead reputation to stand a chance LOL so he goes out of his way seem more “intellectual”

basically he’s like “i’m gonna venture into poetry bc girls love sensitive guys” and convinces the entire football team to host slam poetry nights in hopes you’ll show up at the shows

he starts leaving little poems in your locker and it’s like rupi kaur shit 😭

“you’re the brightest rose

in this garden

and you 

don’t 

even

know.

---a.m.”

☆ anyway you don’t even show up to the slam nights (you have ✨taste✨) but you do show up to his games!

☆ and eventually he works up the courage to actually ask you out and ofc you say yes bc he does it in such a cute way ugh

he stops you in the parking lot after a game and goes like “hey, uh, yer in my econ class and all yer comments are always so funny and..” and he’s just word-vomiting and eventually he gets to the point where he’s like “anyway i was wonderin’ if yer free friday night?”

☆ your first date is actually at an empty field near school

you’re just talking and getting to know each other better in the back of his pick-up truck under a bright moon, covered in blankets, each of you cradling a hot mug of cider

it’s kinda chilly but atsumu is literally a furnace

and atsumu just opens up the notes app on his phone and he reads you six poems and they’re all like 4 lines with weird enjambment HAHAHA

“you look. 

just like the moon. 

---a.m.”

most of his lines are actually plagiarised from popular country songs and you definitely recognise them but he just looks so darn cute awh you can’t rlly call him out rn (but you definitely do later in your relationship)

around two hours into the date he’s like “actually i’m the president of the slam poetry club” and you’re like “oh that’s cool!” (no it’s not omg ur praying he doesn’t start slamming right then and there bc you’ve heard rumours of what horrors the club has produced)

☆ if you like driving be prepared to Not Drive once you start dating atsumu (... or at least drive Less Frequently… unless you cut him a deal of some sort...)

he LOVES picking you up for school and this is the only time he’ll change the music playing in his car !!

he puts on the little playlist he made just for you and it’s got songs like:

cruise by florida georgia line (he literally always runs up to you and randomly sings “baby you a song” 😭)

burnin’ it down by jason aldean

play it again by luke bryan

but your song is “our song” by taylor swift ugh he knows every single line and he’s been dreaming of having a relationship like the one she describes ever since it dropped

ps: he’s actually the world’s biggest swiftie and thinks her earliest albums were the best

he got osamu on board too LMAO they go to her concerts whenever she visits their state. now you do too!!

☆ always drives with one hand on your thigh bc he’s just like that 🥰

☆ tried to learn how to play the guitar to serenade you but it was a miserable fail (he just can’t do the barre chords bc they’re so hard and what for !!)

☆ he’s such a good line-dancer tho

he’ll take you out to dance and it’s just such a vibe to see him smiling under lights, spinning you around at the barn dance with the goofiest smile on his face

☆ any time you guys fight or argue he’ll head out to the pasture behind his house and brood under the moon in the back of his pick-up truck LOL he’s so dramatic but it’s so cute!!

[effugereaes]

Leverage: Redemption, The Unwellness Job

Why was your sister taking all this stuff?

If they're selling fake medication, then that's a crime.

A drug has to prove that it's safe, but a food or dietary supplement is considered safe until it's proven unsafe.

You can't take it off the shelves until it's actually hurt people.

Evil lawyer.

I've been tracking the media reports around her company.

She's coordinating an op between the Korean team and the Nigerian team.

It's probably part of the con. I don't know.

Maybe it's knife day.

Some of them are fairly useless, okay, but some of them have nasty side effects.

So she's a shark. She's gotta keep eating, she's gotta keep moving, or she dies.

You ever fought a shark?

Can I just ask the question, should we even be doing this?

This does seem like one of those moments where they brought it on themselves.

In fact, if you don't mind me saying so, it sounds a little bit like the con that you used to do.

This is about the evil lawyer crack earlier, isn't it?

So, let's say you're, like, a smart person and you have a problem.

You're gonna get bounced back, fall deeper into the rabbit hole.

The more you research, the further down they drive you.

And that is how grandma learns about space lasers.

She's specifically targeting women.

Women get misdiagnosed like, 30% of the time, and it takes two years longer to get that diagnosis.

You see, I targeted the powerful and trapped them with their desires.

She targets the powerless, and she traps them with their pain.

She tasks me. And I shall have her.

What's going on with the knives today?

Beets are not sexy.

Tiny robots are real?

Privacy is dead.

Yeah, my generation doesn't really know what that means.

She uses her reputation to hurt people, and she's nothing without it.

Let's go steal her fame.

Oh, I was expecting apes.

Damn it, [Name], the bees are sleeping!

Some partnership! I do all of the work.

I tend to the bees. I listen to their eternal song. I interpret their every need by a delicate dance that they do.

You put H's on everything!

That means so much to me for you to say that about me to me.

It doesn't matter how good your product is, if it doesn't get out there, it will fail.

I wouldn't -- I wouldn't say dying.

It's not her product, it's my product, it's their product.

I don't know if I'm ready to share this sweet nectar with strangers.

Well then we do it the old way. The golden nectar of eternal life.

Ninety percent of jumping off buildings is proper preparation.

10% is learning to hang off them.

I'm not justifying myself to you or to anyone.

Grab me a chalupa, the one that I like! And a juice!

Do you want to see forty million dollars?

It cannot be faked, it cannot be stolen.

He just makes a good smoothie.

You care about the data.

Because it's hundred of thousands of people sharing their pain.

For the past week, I've been coordinating the campaign across five different time zones, so I haven't had any sleep in five different time zones.

Is it safe for the bees to be in here?

It was the bees! The bees told me to do it! The bees told me!

We will be selling bee venom extract.

And for a premium, we will ship you live bees.

This is the opposite of what we wanted, right?

Imagine the good she could've done if she'd had the decency to become an honest con woman.

I went to pastry school in Paris to get a job in an arms dealer's favorite restaurant, and I spent six months just carving my way into his life like a scalpel.

I walked away from that con with a van gogh and a briefcase full of diamonds.

Is this what crime has come to?

Well I hate to have a “Well, actually” moment, but bitcoin actually exists.

Like Santa, or the Grey Man Who Haunts Our Dreams.

Who's the Grey Man Who Haunts Our-

You never say his name twice! Never!

He's throwing up a lot of red flags that could get him investigated for money laundering.

I've been keeping up with my evil lawyering reading.

Even if he is legit, he's still living in fear of the FBI sniffing around his life.

It's an inside/outside play.

I'm gonna go prove that the personal touch still works.

You are a harbinger of negative energy. Be gone!

I know what that does to you, the constant judging.

Did you break like so many others?

I once did a one woman show of death of a salesman in a casino dinner theater in the outback.

Nothing scares me.

My rig, it takes two minutes to inject the virus into the database. Just plug it in.

My boss and your boss are cooking up something evil.

You seem like a really good person, and your boss... Isn't... And you know, maybe my boss is here because of the not so good stuff.

I don't even know you, and you cared.

You ever just have a friend and realize that they were using you? Or you see like a friendship and it's only one way?

That stuff hurts. Like, a lot.

I didn't really have friends until I met your brother.

And now we're family, not friends.

In a weird way, I think your not having friends might have actually saved you some pain.

They're under investigation, and you seemed like our best way in.

I'm supposed to believe you had no idea that she was an undercover FBI agent investigating me for money laundering?

Now, if you have to kill her, I could just look the other way.

You really don't have any idea what to do.

You're so used to your victims coming to you half-cooked that you don't know what to do with a life tiger in a trap.

I am not an FBI investigator. I am a grifter.

Shhh. You'll wake the bees.

That one would've stung, huh?

Now we're still gonna kill everybody, but at least this wasn't a total waste.

It's not my $40 million. So it doesn't really matter to me, does it?

Do you guys know how much trouble you're in?

I'm trying to make a romantic dinner for you and [Name].

I have told you ten times, I don't know whose food is whose. I'm gonna eat it.

We didn't start a company because we were friends.

I didn't even like 'em the first year.

I didn't even learn his name till after the team broke up the first time.

Because somebody else said it, and I was like, "Oh, right, [Name]," but I didn't remember it.

Damn it, [Name]. I'm getting a beer. And I'm not coming back!

[Name] warned me about that. Please don't push me off no building.

Do you wanna be friends or not?

[flooffybits]

Part of You

Idol: Bae Joohyun (Red Velvet) & Jennie Kim (Blackpink)

Irene and Jennie are forced to stay at home while their girlfriend is out of the country, touring with her group, instead of being at home. They understand, because they have to leave for tour, too. But when your tour is as frequent as yours, they can’t help but miss you more than they do.

“Jennie, come on, stop sulking.” The older girl cooed at her girlfriend when she entered the room, tablet in hand as she walked over to the bed where the Blackpink member was busy rolling and pouting to herself.

Said girl only stopped rolling around the bed and huffed, pout still present as she made room for the latter and then wrapped her arms around her waist to snuggle into her while she whined. “But I want Y/n to come home.” She complained, making Joohyun playfully roll her eyes whilst she patted the younger girl’s head.

“I know you do, and so do I, but she’s still in Europe with the rest of the girls.” She reminded before showing the tablet. “They have a show that we said we would be watching, so come on.” Groaning, Jennie moved so that they were both settled against the headboard of their shared bed.

Even though it was already late for them, the pair wanted to be able to watch your performance since they weren’t exactly capable of joining you on tour. With how long you’ve been away, this would be the only time they had together where they could see you.

Joohyun was preparing it to the link you had sent them so that they could see the concert live. It took a while of convincing from management, but you were able to make it possible without having the link leaked because it would be a very big question as to why you would have it in the first place.

As soon as the stadium was shown on the screen, Jennie’s eyes was immediately looking for the familiar figure of their girlfriend, despite the dark area. Joohyun was much more relaxed as she waited, grinning as she ran her fingers through Jennie’s hair in a comforting manner.

When the lights finally came to life and the screaming of fans increased, the two girls would feel pride swelling in their chest when you came up with your members. All of you were dressed in black and red clothing, dancing flawlessly, thanks to the countless times you’ve practiced.

They were cheering for you despite only watching from the screen, and when the camera panned over to show a close up of you, they would squeal even more, chanting your name as if they were in the crowd.

There was the change of outfits in between, so they were able to see some of your outfits in some of your music videos that made them more than pleased, especially when it came to performing your latest song.

When it came to special stages, they were holding their breath, waiting for you to make your appearance. Joohyun was no longer calm, frankly, she was just as excited as her taller girlfriend after watching you perform and hearing your voice.

“How are they able to do all that without looking tired?” Joohyun had questioned when she tucked her hair behind her ear, her motherly instincts picking up as she awaited your performance. “Their choreography is harder compared to ours. I’m just amazed that they’re still going, considering their concept is more on pop rock.” Jennie commented as she bounced in her place, making the older girl chuckle at her child-like expression.

When it was finally your turn, they were already giggling like school girls who had seen their crush. “Her outfit is always on point. Their stylist is good.” Jennie would say, making Joohyun laugh at the fashionista and playfully poke her side. “Of course, that’s what you notice.”

Jennie flinched at the poke and lightly swatted her hand away. “I was just saying! Our baby deserves to look the best.” She defended before turning back to watch you.

The moment they did, you were already at the chorus and both girls were blushing wildly because of the way your body moved. Of course, they expected this due to you dancing EXO’s The Eve, but they rarely see you performing songs with that kind of choreography.

Though there were times that your group covered for others with that kind of concept, it wasn’t often for them to see you dancing like that. Even with such a badass image, they knew well enough that you were capable of seducing anyone with a look, if the body rolls and winks weren’t enough proof of it.

They know that you aren’t usually like this. The confident and sexy Y/n was only for the stage, but when you were home, you were their soft and dorky girlfriend.

When the end of the concert finally came, the pair were cuddled up on the bed, the tablet resting between them as your group talked to the people who attended, thanking them for their time and saying goodbye.

But when the camera closed in on you, their brows quirked up at seeing you crouching down on the edge of the stage and talking animatedly to a couple fans. Looking closer, they could see something being handed to you before you gladly accepted it, making the shouting grow louder when you stood up, only to drape the rainbow flag across your shoulders and wrapping it around yourself.

The action made them smile even more, if that was possible. Something they loved about your group was that all of you were very open-minded people and that you never failed to show your support to anyone.

At first, it worried them because Korea wasn’t exactly very welcoming, but the more that time passed, your group has never gotten any form of hate or backlash and they were only left in wonderment as your popularity continued to grow. You may not have been too popular in Korea, but internationally, people knew who you were and that was more than enough.

Though they were a bit upset with the fact that your group still didn’t get your first win. They were sure you would have won when you performed at an award show with your comeback, but for some reason, the win went to someone else, where people found it odd with how the numbers just didn’t add up. Even those who weren’t fans of your group were sure that you would have won and others even did the calculations themselves. No matter how you looked at it, your group should have had your first win that day.

That was why it simply broke their hearts to see you so downhearted with your members. When the question of what your dream was, your answers were no longer “Our first win.” but “To have more fans” instead.

They did their best to cheer you up at that time and you were thankful for their support, but you eventually learned to move on from it. It had only served to make you work harder.

“Can she please come home, now?” Jennie whined as she watched you happily interact with your members. She missed you dearly ever since you had to leave last month. She actually complained that your tour was too long and Joohyun ended up laughing and teasing her for it because they were both away much more than you usually were.

Joohyun smiled at the younger girl and kissed her forehead. “You’re so clingy, Jen. She’ll be home in a few days.” She reminded, knowing that you would probably be filming a bit more before coming back. “But I want her now!” The younger girl protested before she looked to the other. “Don’t you dare make fun of me because I know you miss her, too.”

The latter raised her hands in defense, her eyes filled with mirth as she smiled. “I do, but you don’t see me acting like a baby, do you?” She retorted playfully, making the other pout as she crossed her arms across her chest. “You love me anyway.”

Now that earned herself a small smile from the older girl and a tender kiss was pressed against her lips before Joohyun kissed her cheek.

..

Joohyun wakes up, a little before six in the morning. Though she and Jennie stayed up to watch your performance, her body always woke her up early even when she didn’t need to.

It was something she often hated because she wants to keep sleeping, but at this moment, she was happy to be awake when she saw the text on her phone. Immediately, she pressed the call button and waited until you answered her.

Looking next to her, she giggled with how Jennie was still curled up on her side, one of your hoodies wrapped around her figure whilst Joohyun had another.

Her heart started beating faster when her phone finally showed the light of your hotel room. She was just so excited to see you, so when your face finally popped up, she couldn’t contain the smile that crawled up her face.

“Hi baby.” You murmur with a wave of your hand and she coos at how soft you looked. “Hey, why aren’t you asleep?” She asks quietly. Even with her want to see you, she could never help her motherly instincts when it came to your health.

“I just got cleaned up.” You tell her, stretching on the bed while a pillow was held to your chest. “Also, I was hoping to see at least one of my favorite girls.” You grin at her before a sound comes from the background.

“You called?”

From the screen, Joohyun could see as you playfully rolled your eyes and shooed the person away. “Sorry, that was Bora.” You apologize sheepishly due to your friend’s loud voice after you threw a pillow at her.

“I’m surprised you haven’t switched roommates.” Joohyun muses, knowing your members well enough to know just how playful and loud they could be.

If she thought her members were crazy, she was more surprised when she got to know more about yours.

You laughed at her remark and cock your head to the side. “It’s fine. Bora is fun to have around when she isn’t yelling all the time.” Jennie moved closer into Joohyun’s side as the older girl continued to listen to you. Her fingers moving to run through her soft locks.

“Is Jennie still sleeping?” You ask with a smile on your face. And as Joohyun was about to reply, the younger girl piped up, yawning as she moved so that she could peek at the screen and a sleepy smile appeared on her face. “Not anymore.”

Your smile only seemed to widen at the sight of your two girlfriends. “Good morning, princess.” She takes a while to properly wake herself, and when she realizes that she is talking to you, Joohyun is already grinning at her, stifling a laugh when she gave her a tiny squeeze.

“Y/n!” Jennie bolted upright, the phone coming to her hands when she snatched it from the older woman and both of you giggled before she’s hitting your other girlfriend. “How could you be on call without me?” Joohyun just rolled her eyes while you watch them in amusement.

“Is our Jennie whining?” You teased her but she only answered with a huff. “She’s been like this since yesterday when we were watching your performance.” Joohyun piped up when she rested her chin on the other girl’s shoulder. “I want Y/n to come now. I want her now.” She mocked in good nature while you smile at the two. “Don’t worry, I’ll be home soon.”

They could tell that you were tired, if having to sing and dance in front of thousands of people for a couple hours wasn’t tiring enough. They also knew that you were often one of the people in your group that made sure everyone was alright despite the fact that you weren’t exactly the eldest nor were you the leader.

“Is soon going to be in an hour?” Jennie asked hopefully, the adorable little pout on her lips again while she stared at you and you mentally cooed at your girlfriend’s antics. “I’m sorry, princess, but you know that we still have to film some things and I can’t back out since I’m the one who requested it.”

Damn you for being adorable, Jennie thinks, her pout growing deeper and Joohyun had to laugh before she’s addressing you. “Don’t worry about it, Y/n. We know that you’re busy. We just miss you.” She said, making you nod. “Also, while you’re away, please be careful. I don’t want another call from your members saying that you got lost while taking pictures.”

You just grinned sheepishly at your girlfriend while nodding your head. “I know. The unnies are always making sure that I don’t disappear without telling them, now.” Your love for photography was simply endearing and everyone knew that you loved to take pictures, but the one time you and your group went for a gathering due to a successful comeback, they ended up calling your girlfriends and asking if you had gone home.

It sent both girls into a panic when no one was able to find you, and the fact you weren’t answering made it worse. It wasn’t until the maknae spotted you by a few stalls did they all calm down, but you sure as hell did not hear the end of it with your members, only to have a second lecture when you got home to your worried girlfriends.

Checking the time, Jennie looked at you before she’s raising a brow. “Baby, it’s late.” She mumbled, seeing the way you were trying to keep your eyes open. “You’ve had a long day, and I’m sure that you’re busy tomorrow. You need to sleep.” Joohyun says worriedly and you smile at the pair.

“I know, but I want to hear about your day before I sleep. Did you enjoy the concert at least?”

Immediately, they smiled as they suddenly started gushing about the show, praising you for doing well and complimenting your members as well. “I feel like you intended to be a tease because you know we aren’t there to do anything.” Jennie huffed while shaking her head and Joohyun was crossing her arms. “Is this what happens when we go on tour?” She asked playfully. “You better be ready when you come home.”

But after they spoke, you didn’t say anything in reply. Curiously, their eyes went back to the tiny screen, only to see that your eyes have finally fallen shut and your breathing had evened out.

The peaceful expression on your face made both their hearts melt. It was always like this, and even when Jennie wanted to be annoyed, she couldn’t help but find it cute whenever you fell asleep. Joohyun, despite her worries, would feel a bit better because she’s given a reassurance that you’re able to fall asleep.

“Goodnight baby.” Jennie whispered quietly. “We love you, so much.” Joohyun added while she watched fondly, her hand gently rubbing at the younger girl’s side.

They let the call go on for a while, just quietly watching over you even with it just through a screen, until they’ve decided that it was safe to end the call.

You may not be physically there, but even when you were miles away from each other, there will always be a part of you in their hearts like you were in theirs.

So what if you had to be away for tours? At the end of it all, they were your home and vice versa. Being patient may have been something that each of you had to practice, but in the end, it was always worth it to have your favorite girls in your arms.

[kiriluvbot]

lvr boy

todoroki has a rough day, and sero attempts to make him feel better. both boys figure out that distractions aren’t always the answer to emotional distress.

—

han !!: hey shou i saw u leave dinner early are u ok?

shou <3: yeah, just a bit drained. sorry i left without saying anything.

han !!: hun u don’t need to apologize, i jus wanna make sure ur doin ok !!

han !!: is there anything i can do?

shou <3: come over ?

han !!: u bet, On my way!

han !!: ive got an idea to cheer u up bb

and that’s how hanta sero got to be hanging from his tape on the rafters directly outside shouto todoroki’s room, over his balcony.

han !!: i’m outside <3

don’t ask him how the physics works; he doesn’t know either. hanta imagined what it must be like to be the fictional american hero, spiderman, and tried to stick his tape from the most secure place on the roof and dangled downward, getting into position as fast as he could so he’d be ready when shouto peeled open the door leading to his balcony.

except he hadn’t exactly said he would be on the balcony.

and it’s cold outside. hanta shivers as a rush of wind sends him waving like a flag outside shouto’s room. he feels more and more ridiculous the longer he sits—dangles?— here, with all the blood rushing to his head. what's taking shouto so long?

inside, shouto is peering into the hall, looking for a familiar head of dark hair. he’s tired. he needs hanta to be able to properly recharge. he misses hanta. he sort of wants to cry, sort of wants to melt into the floor, sort of wants hanta to sweep him up and make him forget everything else in the world.

he frowns when he finds no one outside his door. “hanta?”

where is he?

shouto glances over his shoulder, at the doors leading to his balcony, at the thick curtains blocking out the moonlight.

surely not...

but it’s hanta, and he had said he’d be outside. hanta comes up with the craziest ideas sometimes. but how could he have gotten out there?

shouto shakes his head once, crosses the room with apprehension. pulling back the curtain, shouto nearly jumps out of his skin at the sight of hanta sero outside his door, hanging upside down with a tight grip on his tape, the widest, goofiest smile on his face.

shouto slides open the door, the rush of cool wind sending goosebumps crawling over his skin. even being this close to hanta makes him stand up a little taller, already absorbing energy to start recharging. he’s a magnet. hanta is a ball of pure, unhinged light and love. hanta is a source of comfort, a place to come home to. shouto can’t stop his growing smile as it mirrors hanta’s own.

“there you are,” shouto breathes. that overwhelming weight that just kept building through the day starts to lay off, little by little.

“how’s this for a surprise?” hanta’s waving a bit in the wind. his cheeks, nose, and ears are dusted pink. inky black hair waves with him, curling at the ends. his eyes are dark pools full of stars, full of adoration, full of mischief.

shouto could—should—kiss him.

“i’m always surprised with you, hanta,” shouto says, laughing lightly as he steps out of his room, bare feet on the wood of the balcony. they’re close to eye level, and shouto raises his hands, almost unsure, and presses them to hanta’s grinning cheeks.

“gotta keep my boy on his toes, you know?” hanta tries to lean in the closer shouto gets like a moth to a flame, curious eyes searching shouto’s face for any tells of fatigue, of sickness, of sadness. he only finds sleepy awe. “gotta change things up every now and then.”

the two toned boy plants a ghost of a kiss to hanta’s forehead. it’s not enough. “this must be a spiderman thing,” shouto muses. “i know how much you like that guy.”

“naturally. he’s the coolest,” hanta giggles at that, and shouto’s fractured heart starts to mend. his cracked facade from spending the whole day strung out, anxious for nothing, begins to crumble at his feet. hanta has a knack for pulling shouto completely apart, for piecing him wholly together, for taking the pressure off shouto’s shoulders, even if it’s just for a little while.

“i remember the movie we watched together,” shouto hums, thumbs grazing over hanta’s cheekbones. “there was a scene similar to this, right?”

hanta’s skin burns under his fingers. shouto watches his adam’s apple dip as he swallows. “something like it, yeah.”

shouto meets his eye, recognizes that mischievous look flickering over his features. he chases the light, takes in every single detail of hanta’s face, every detail he has memorized like constellations at this point, every detail he wants to place a kiss to, every detail he never gets tired of.

then, shouto gets on his tippy toes and tilts forward, holding hanta’s face, and kisses his lover boy, slow and sweet. it’s strange kissing someone upside down, but hanta kisses him back like he’s been anxiously waiting for it to come, like he’ll never get enough.

it’s not enough.

when shouto pulls back, hanta is smiling again, dizzy and red faced. in a single, fluid movement, hanta flips and releases the hold on his tape. he lands, steady on his feet in front of shouto, wind blown hair framing his face like a priceless painting. his grin, his pure, radiating joy and goodness outshines the moon, as if the sun instead resides inside his chest.

he’s too good for me.

hanta’s eyes widen as shouto takes his reddening hands and kisses those, too. kisses his palms. his knuckles. shouto has always loved hanta’s hands; clever and sneaky hands, sure and gentle hands.

he knows the patterns of hanta’s hands like the back of his own, knows the life lines, the callouses, the old scar between his middle and pointer finger knuckles. he knows the pattern of all his moles and freckles and the way they creep up his arms, up his neck, down his chest like a fairy danced to their favorite song over his skin.

after a sharp intake of breath, hanta asks, “are you alright, shou?”

not really. i’m asking for a distraction. do you think a distraction will make it all go away? all this pressure on my chest?

the sincerity of his voice causes shouto to stop in his tracks.

i didn't sleep well at all. i had a nightmare about failing the hero course. i was late to class.

he looks up, blue and gray falling on gravitational black.

i got a 60 on our history test today and i locked myself in the bathroom for three minutes trying to remind myself it’s just one single test.

hanta’s smile is dipping.

bakugo was yelling more than usual. aizawa and iida both told me i was off my game. i spilled my drink in my lap at lunch.

he grips shouto’s fingers and pulls him closer. always closer.

i had to cancel my plans with my mom this friday to retake the test i bombed. i cried after we got off the phone.

shouto has to tilt his head up. hanta sure has gotten tall.

he feels childish trying to explain why literally nothing had gone his way today, why every small thing made him want to curl up and cry for hours. “just—today was a bit overwhelming. everything going wrong and getting too loud, you know? but i’m feeling better.”

now that you’re here.

when hanta leans into his space again, shouto unconsciously warms up the air around them.

“do you wanna talk about it?”

my coffee spilled over the edge of the cup this morning and hurt my fingers and i had to sit on the floor for six and a half minutes trying to suck the tears back into my eyes.

“not really,” shouto answers. it’s not a lie.

“you’re sure?”

his breath is warm on shouto’s face, eyes wide and sincere.

“i’m sure.”

if we talk about it i’m almost certain i’ll cry again.

hanta seems to buy it. his lip ticks upward just a notch. that curiosity turns sly as he releases shouto from his hold, as his hands dance up and over the shorter boy’s shoulders, over his shoulder blades, down his spine.

���totally sure?”

the space between is no space and too much all at once. it’s not enough.

“absolutely sure.” just kiss me already, you maniac.

finally, finally, hanta’s lips find his own, right side up and certain. stars explode in shouto’s chest, behind his eyes. supernova as his fingers dip into hanta’s hair, as he melts under the attention and contact, on his tippy toes.

all too soon, hanta pulls back, humming all the while. shouto nearly pouts at the loss until hanta dips down, those searching hands taking shouto’s thighs.

oh.

the smaller boy squeaks, though he’ll always deny it later, as hanta picks him up and wraps shouto’s legs around his waist.

oh.

he’s… carrying him.

this is new.

“we’re goin’ inside,” is the only explanation hanta offers. his head whips back up in a flurry of glittering hair and a puckish grin. always glittering. always grinning.

shouto holds on tightly, arms around around hanta’s shoulders. he keeps his mouth shut for fear of saying something completely stupid. hanta is talking, though shouto’s been too focused on the muscles of his back beneath his hands to really know what he said. his chin presses into shouto’s collar. shouto wishes it were his lips instead. god.

still holding on to shouto, with those goddamn hands on shouto’s thighs—i’m gonna die—hanta shuts the door and closes the curtain like he’s seen shouto do a thousand times during his nightly shut in routine. shouto considers asking to be let down but—but his hands on his thighs—i’m gonna die, i’m gonna die, this is where it ends—

hanta’s shampoo smells like grapefruit. his hair brushes shouto’s cheek. he wants to bury his face in it, wants to move it to the side and explore every freckle dusting his smooth skin, wants to kiss every single place he can reach—good god, he’s gonna die.

then, incredibly, horribly, boldly, hanta sits at the edge of shouto’s bed. he readjusts so shouto is sitting properly in his lap, legs still wrapped around his waist. those goddamn hands slide down the sides of shouto’s thighs, over the fabric of his pajama shorts, just barely grazing exposed skin, like hanta knows. shouto lifts his head from the crook in hanta’s neck to finally get a good look at him in this soft lighting.

hanta’s cheeks are still painted pink.

there’s so much contact. broad shoulders beneath his hands. solid chest if he drags his hands down. narrow waist if he goes even further, strong abs from swinging through the air and keeping his balance. his hands on shouto’s thighs.

any and all rational thoughts shouto may have had exit stage right.

“this okay?” he asks.

shouto responds with a single nod of his head. he’s distracted, alright.

that’s a good enough answer for hanta. the raven haired boy pressed forward once again, closing the gap, aiming for shouto’s lips but landing right next to them. shouto can feel his smile against his skin. his chest is tight, his fingers subconsciously twisting the ends of hanta’s wavy hair.

everything slows down.

“there’s a dimple here when you smile, you know?” hanta murmurs, a cold pointer finger tapping the spot just to the left of his mouth. he kisses that spot. it’s horribly and surprisingly tender, plucking shouto’s weakened heart strings. “have i ever told you how much i love that dimple?”

“i don’t think so.” his head tilts back.

his lips dip beneath shouto’s jaw. “what about this? surely i’ve told you how much i love this.” his kiss is warm, his laughter tickling as he says, “the freckles here look like the little dipper.”

shouto’s eyes flutter closed as lips press under his ear.

“the little dipper, hm?”

hanta hums and shouto can feel it vibrate through his chest. he pulls back a bit, brings shouto’s scarred hero-in-training hands up to his lips and kisses all ten fingers, all ten knuckles, slowly, making sure not to skip a single one.

“and your hands,” hanta murmurs, thumb rubbing circles on the soft part of shouto’s palm. “i love how capable and powerful they are, how you can create and destroy, how you still choose to be gentle.” a kiss touches down on his right palm, a strike through his heart. the sweetness makes shouto’s teeth ache.

there’s a smirk in his voice when hanta speaks again. “and these,” he says, breath startling warm and close to shouto’s collarbones, peeking out of his t-shirt. fingers dip into the fabric, pulling down just a bit. shouto sucks in a breath as lips land true on the bone. “always wanted to kiss you here, you know?”

what took you so long to do it?!

the part of shouto’s brain that was working to create coherent thoughts is in system shut down mode. he basks under the attention, under the light, under the worship of hanta sero, of his boyfriend, of his best friend. he basks and he melts, completely unsure of how to take it, how to accept it.

“and this—“ there’s a small birthmark at the very base of shouto’s neck hanta has wanted to kiss since they were first years. so he does. “love this here.”

every single bit of you, shouto todoroki.

there’s a pause that makes shouto open his eyes and search for hanta.

the taller boy could carry on all night, reaching out for every small inch of shouto todoroki that he’s in love with and explaining exactly why he loves each minuscule detail of it, but he pauses.

shouto’s brows dip, hesitant.

hanta came here to make sure he was okay.

he holds the gaze of the boy in his lap, of the boy he’s loved since he was fifteen, of the boy he’ll love until he passes on from this world to the next. there’s a blurry daze in his blue and gray eyes, but an ever deeper exhaustion pulls at all his edges. hanta can sweep shouto off his feet left and right, tell him all these lovely things and kiss him until he can’t see straight, but those things are merely temporary distractions.

i’m alright, i promise.

he tilts his head, and his smile is almost sad.

you’re not alright, i saw it in the way you tapped your foot in class, the way you pressed your icy fingers into your forehead, the way you avoided your table at lunch. i saw it in the way you were completely silent during practice, the way you wouldn’t engage in banter with bakugo, the way you couldn’t seem to sit still at dinner. i saw it in the way you left early, in the hectic, cracked state you were in when i got here, when you opened the door.

“hanta?” his voice cracks. shouto thinks, i don't deserve this affection. this appreciation. not from someone as good as you. you deserve—someone who isn’t ready to sob when you tell him you love something about him. hanta—

hanta presses his hand flat against shouto’s chest—no, his heart. he sees the way shouto chews on the inside of his cheek, the way his multicolored lashes flutter.

“i love you here, shouto,” hanta says. “when everything is too much and too loud. when you feel like nothing is going your way, when a split coffee cup feels like the end of the world.”

shouto’s lip purses, blinking furiously. his hands twist into the front of hanta’s shirt as the smaller boy falls forward, collapsing onto hanta’s shoulder with little grace.

“‘m sorry,” is the only thing shouto can muster.

hanta wraps an arm around him, pulls him as close as they can get. his lips press to shouto’s temple, to the stray strands of ruby locks there. “you don’t need to apologize, shou.” his shirt collar is wet. “sometimes… sometimes you just need to talk, you know? you need to let it out instead of leaving it unchecked.”

shouto’s heart pounds against hanta’s chest.

“you asked for a distraction. i should be saying sorry for getting all sappy,” hanta kisses his temple again, feels shouto’s shoulders begin to shake.

shouto laughs at that, small and weak and breathless. i needed to hear it. more than i thought i did. more than you know.

in truth, today isn’t the only awful day the two toned boy has had recently. it’s been every single day, one after the other, but he refused to acknowledge how tired and just plain sad he felt. he thought that if he pulled hanta into his bedroom and closed his eyes, it would go away with time.

and then the coffee burnt his fingers this morning.

that was the final shove. the final push to send shouto hurtling over the edge, stressed and strung out and overwhelmed. he just needs a break. a healthy, peaceful break that doesn’t involve reaching too far or doing something he might regret. he needs to plug in and recharge, to lay it all out on the table and sort through his troubles, to piece himself back together and get back to normal.

hanta hugs him tighter.

and now his resolve and control is cracking and spilling out, through his veins and his bones, through his heart and his eyes. he holds onto hanta like his life depends on it, letting it all out, finally giving in, finally letting go. distraction wasn’t the answer; he could only forget for so long, as more things piled on until it crushed him.

sometimes the world is too much, too loud.

shouto cries into hanta’s shoulder until there's nothing left. until he feels at peace. until he falls asleep in hanta’s arms.

he dreams of hanta with cherry blossoms in his hair, that same glittering grin on his face.

—

*drops this and runs a thousand miles in the other direction”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825064

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part nineteen) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±7500 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part nineteen: The Flagstaff Horse Fair is about to kick off, but not without a hitch. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: ‘Fortunate Son’ - Creedence Clearwater Revival, ‘Backwoods Company’ - The Wild Feathers.  Follow ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Prepare for cuteness and a bit of angst! Thank you @kittenofdoomage​​, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​, @manawhaat​​ and @winchest09​​ for helping me. I especially want to thank Kay, who has beta’d Ride from the very beginning, but needs to take a break from Tumblr to focus on school. I will miss her dearly, but I’m super thankful that Mana is willing to take over. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999​​, who has offered me her knowledge about rodeo events like these.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     With a black bumper-pull trailer in the rearview mirror, Dean’s beloved ‘67 El Camino rolls up Interstate 17. The windows are down, allowing the wind to wash in, like waves crashing onto the beach on a hot summer day, the cool air welcome and refreshing. 

     The Gold Canyon Ranch caravan left around three o’clock, the column of three pickups and trailers now heading towards Flagstaff, Arizona. Bobby and Jo lead the company in his powerful Ford with an impressive gooseneck in tow, which currently accommodates five horses. Benny follows in his four by four, with three horses on board another large trailer, facilitated with a small living quarters. Dean is the last wagon of the train, Meadow and one of his calmer geldings in the back, and Y/N beside him in the passenger seat.

     The cowgirl is soaking up the scenery, the hills that flow next to the highway, the mountains in the distance, the blue sky above them. The tall saguaros that dominate the landscape at home are swapped for ponderosa pines, dusty desert for green grasslands. The forest is already beginning to change color, autumn painting deciduous trees in shades of yellow and orange. It’s remarkable how different her current surroundings are from the Phoenix area, only two and a half hours south. 

     With Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival playing on the old cassette deck of the classic car, Dean drums against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song. He absently hums along, mouthing a few words every now and then. When he glances aside, a small smile forms on his lips. The woman, who managed to calm him after the disturbing news Bobby delivered, is breathtaking without even trying. Loose strands of hair have escaped her ponytail and dance in the playful wind, her maya blue blouse fluttering against her Arizona sun-kissed skin. She looks at the world through her shaded Ray Bans, lost in thought and wonder.

     He returns his gaze to the road as he reaches for her, laying his hand on her knee to get her attention, softly rubbing his thumb over the denim. Awoken from her daydream, she glances over, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she lays her hand over his, warmed by the touch.

     “Nervous?” he wonders, dropping her hand just long enough to turn down the stereo before he laces their fingers together once again.      “A little bit,” she confesses.      “Don’t be. You’re gonna do fine,” he reassures. “Besides, your class ain’t till tomorrow.”      “I’m not nervous about riding.”      The wrangler moves his focus from the asphalt to his girlfriend. “What about then?”      She’s quiet for a second. Shy, just like she was the first time they met. “Just… This is your scene. People know you, and I don’t know anyone.”      He smirks, lightly. “Concerned about former flings?”       The cowgirl shrugs, half admitting her insecurity.      “Yankee, you have nothing to worry about. Hey…” He squeezes her hand, glancing over again. “I’m with you, okay?”

     A smile breaks through the surface as Y/N glances at the handsome wrangler she gets to call hers, his green eyes making a silent promise. For a guy who claims not to be good with words, he’s doing a pretty great job. She takes a breath when he concentrates on the road again.      “So, how are you going to introduce me?” she wonders.      “As my girlfriend,” he returns, matter-of-factly, cool confidence sitting on the edge of his mouth. He honestly can’t wait to introduce her as his.

     Y/N is unable to hide her contentment, the corners of her mouth creeping up further as she gets lost in the sight of him. There it is again; that tingly feeling, his confirmation breaking down the doubt bit by bit.      “What about Bobby?” Y/N checks. “He still doesn’t know.”      “Believe me, Bobby will be too busy strikin’ deals and sellin’ horses. He’s not gonna notice us,” Dean states, not concerned about his uncle. “It’s gonna be fine, you’re gonna have a blast, trust me.”

     After shooting her that grin she’s loved from day one, he glances past the trucks and trailers in front of them. They drive by a large sign made from stone and wood, that says ‘1882 - Flagstaff, Arizona’, the city up ahead and Humphreys Peak in the backdrop. The caravan turns onto I-40 going west, before taking the exit a couple of miles later.

      When they come over the hill, the competition grounds come into view. Flags reach skyward and wave proudly in the Western breeze, the stars and stripes alternating with the state flag of Arizona, the American Reining Horse Association, and many others. There’s the main arena, several training areas, stables, and amusement rides, complete with hundreds of trucks,  trailers, and RV campers filling the fairgrounds. Observing the scene, it becomes clear to Y/N that this isn’t just a local show.

     Dean was right, this is the perfect practice run for her and Meadow, but the sight of the large event has her stomach in knots. Right, those lovely performance nerves that never fail to torment her. She hopes she can survive tomorrow and still be able to eat without throwing up, because it wouldn’t be the first time that the highly strung feeling she experiences right before a ride has her physically sick. 

     The Gold Canyon Ranch caravan enters the show grounds, Bobby following the directions of the parking officer. After a short drive, they park the trailers next to each other on a large field, adding to the rows and rows of pickups, trailers, and even semi trucks with pop out living units.       “I’ll check in with the stable manager,” Jo announces when they get out of the cars, heading over to the stable office to check which boxes are assigned to them.

     Y/N picks her hat off the seat and pushes it on her head, leaving her shades on the dash now that she doesn’t need them anymore. She opens the hatch of the black trailer behind Dean’s Chevy, peeking inside. Meadow greets her with a slightly nervous neigh, eager to get out now that they’ve stopped moving. Lovingly, her rider pets her nose, trying to calm her a little, but the spirited mare begins to scrape her hoof on the rubber coated floor, nonetheless.      “She okay?” Dean asks.      “Yeah, she just wants to get off the trailer. I’m going to unload her, let her graze a little,” she says, attaching the leadrope to her halter. “Could you get the lid?”

     The wrangler nods and walks around to the back, opening the latches as Y/N unties her horse. The cowgirl pushes the divider away and gently leads Meadow down the ramp. The beautiful bay Quarter Horse takes in her surroundings with large eyes, alert and ready for action, belting out another loud neigh to announce her arrival. She circles around her owner, who can’t help but laugh at her cocky attitude; she could have sworn her granddad bought her a mare, and not a stallion, even though Meadow behaves like one at times. Eventually she drops her head and cuts a few bites of grass, before pulling up her head again while chewing, staring at another animal in the distance.

     “She really is a character, ain’t she?” Dean laughs, watching the pair.      “Sure is,” her owner chuckles, rubbing the mare’s withers. “She knows it’s showtime. She can feel it.”      Y/N crouches down to remove Meadow’s travel leg protection while Dean holds the feisty horse, glancing in the direction of the stable office, from which Jo returns.      “Tent B. Box sixty-four to seventy-three,” the ranch owner’s daughter informs. “Let’s unload.”

     Within thirty minutes the ten stables are ready, the heavy trunks installed, the tack rooms decorated and the horses unloaded. Y/N does her bit, rolling the wheel barrow from the truck to the stables with hay bails and wood shaving bedding, but it’s clear the Gold Canyon crew has taken this many horses to a competition before. Benny, Jo, Dean, and Bobby operate like a well-oiled machine, although the head of the ranch is moving a little bit slower these days. 

     Y/N tapes a form to the stable with Meadow’s name and an emergency phone number when Dean comes back from the water point, a full bucket in each hand. He and Benny have been going back and forth a couple of times now, supplying the ten horses. When the head wrangler walks by carrying the water, she’s distracted from the task at hand. Watching his shoulders work under his plaid shirt, she can’t help but get a little lost in the view. His biceps flex against the fabric, back strong and firm while he transports the heavy buckets with steady steps. God, he is good on the eyes.

     “Are you gonna continue to drool over my cousin or are you gonna come with me to the show office to pay our fees?”      Y/N’s eyes shift to Jo, who’s leaning against the stable door with her arms crossed in front of her chest and an amused smirk on her lips. Without a doubt, the blush that fires up her face is hard to miss.       “Let me get my bag,” she says, straightening her back and turning to the head wrangler. “Dean, is the car still un--”

     Before she can finish her sentence, her boyfriend has dug up the keys to the El Camino from his pocket and tosses them to her. Y/N catches them skillfully.      “Awww, so you can read each other’s mind now, too?” Jo comments, earning a glare from Dean, causing her to shrug. “What? It’s dead cute!”      “I’m not cute!” Dean counters, his face contorting as if she just called him something foul.       “No, you’re a tough, manly man. We get it, Cowboy.” She passes him, patting his shoulder. “Keep tellin’ yourself that.”      “You keep tellin’ yourself… somethin’,” he stammers, struggling to stand up to the reputation Jo is undermining.

     She walks on, laughing, not even granting him another look. Bothered with his own unimpressive reply, the wrangler watches his cousin catch up with her father. God, sometimes he wishes he could shut her up without having to deal with her sassy attitude.      Annoyed, he turns back to Y/N, who can’t hide her amusement as she steps closer. He eyes her, which only causes her to chuckle.      “I’m not cute,” he underlines.

     The cowgirl smirks and pushes him into the tack room, out of sight and safe from Bobby’s judgement. She takes his hat from his head and leans in, connecting her lips with his. The kiss is short and sweet, but it’s long enough to make Dean’s head spin. When she parts from him, he opens his eyes again, taking her in as she places his Stetson back over his tousled hair.       “You’re adorable,” she says.      Dean half pouts while furrowing his brow, still trying to establish that he is neither cute or adorable, but breaks character when his girlfriend smiles widely before she spins around. Fine, maybe he is turning a bit soft, but it’s all her doing. 

     Jo joins Y/N with her father’s wallet in hand, the two friends almost skipping to the exit of the stable, joking and laughing as they go. Dean watches the pair and shakes his head, not missing Benny’s wide grin coming his direction. The lovebirds might have stayed out of the ranch owner’s line of sight, however, Benny had a clear view of the endearing interaction. He’s leaning against a tack trunk, arms crossed in front of his broad chest, blue eyes sparkling with mischief and playful judgement that’s impossible to miss.       “Get it over with,” the head wrangler mutters. “Got anything to add to that?”      “Nah, I reckon the gals made their point,” the Southerner chuckles.

     “So, you two are still doin’ good, huh?”      Jo glances at Y/N from the corner of her eye while pushing her father’s wallet into her back pocket. She leans against Dean’s car, careful not to scratch it, knowing that all hell is going to break loose if she does.      “Surprised?” her friend counters, picking up her bag from the front seat, before closing the door.      “Just checkin’ if the woman-oholic isn’t suffering from tremors, hallucinations, insomnia,” the cowgirl states.       Y/N grins at that, pushing the strap of her bag on her shoulder, ready for her friend to lead the way to the show office. 

     “He’s not, don’t worry,” she claims, very much aware that Jo is just toying with her. “He’s been really wonderful, actually. I honestly didn’t expect him to be so attentive and sweet.”      “No one did. Hell, I don’t think even Dean knew he had it in ’im. Guess you bring out the best in my notorious cousin.” She hooks her arm around Y/N’s neck, pulling her in for a side hug.

     On their way over to the show office, Jo is greeted by multiple familiar faces, asking her how she's doing and the ranch owner’s daughter returning the question in a quick exchange. It becomes clear to Y/N that this isn’t just Dean’s scene, but Jo’s as well. 

     She soaks up her surroundings, glancing left and right as they walk up a two story building, a little further up the slightly hilly property. Stalls are lined up along the boulevard, selling all sorts of things, from horse gear to fashion and interior design. It’s not incredibly busy yet, the people waiting in the short lines for the food stands mostly riders, trainers, and horse owners. The organisation is probably expecting a bigger crowd on the weekend.

     A ferrier is hammering a loose shoe under a horse’s hoof, the large animal waiting patiently until the job is done, while a promoter tries to sell a new tractor to an interested party. Cheers roar from one of the arenas, excitement heard in the voice of the commentator, who echoes over the terrain through the speakers. The smell of cotton candy when they pass a concessions truck reaches the cowgirl’s nose as she watches children having fun riding a Shetland pony from the local riding school.

     Content, Y/N smiles, because apart from the temperature, the atmosphere on this show isn’t different from the events she’s been to when she was still living in Freeport. The nerves she felt in the car earlier seep away with the familiarity, excitement taking its place. Before she came to Gold Canyon Ranch, she was buried under pressure and books, working on her thesis around the clock. The last competition she rode was the State Championships. God, she missed this circus. This life. This is where she belongs, not behind some desk, no matter how good the salary.

     “Jo Singer, it’s good to see you again, my dear,” the woman behind the counter in the show office says, recognizing the blonde cowgirl instantly. “How are you and your family doing?”      Reading glasses balance on the tip of the nose of the kind secretary, who smiles at both the girls. Her ash blonde hair is short, and worn in a fashion you would expect for a lady in her sixties.      “Good to see you too, Mildred,” Jo returns, pulling Bobby’s wallet from her pocket. “We’re okay. How are the boys?”

     Y/N glances at her friend from the corner of her eye as the two acquaintances make small talk. She noticed the hint of doubt in her claim that everything was fine with the Singer family, followed by the quick counter question to avert the attention back to the woman on the other side of the desk. Aware that the information Dean shared with her is confidential, she didn’t discuss it with Jo, even though she wanted to. While she didn’t want to get the head wrangler in trouble, she was also unaware of how up to date the youngest Singer actually is. Now that she heard the slight hesitation, however, she’s getting the idea Jo knows more about the ranch’s financial struggles than her bubbly and carefree personality leads on. 

     “How many horses are you competing, hon?” Mildred asks, pushing her glasses up her nose as she searches for Jo’s name on the competitors’ list.       “Two. I’d like to pay for Dean as well, and one entry for my friend here. She’s riding one of ours.”      “Winchester, right?” the secretary checks, crossing off names.      Jo nods, picking at her father’s credit card. “Yeah.”      Mildred flips the page until she finds the one on which the riders filed under the letter ‘W’ are listed.      “Four horses for Dean? Your cousin has a busy weekend ahead of him,” she chuckles, warmly, and looks up at the young woman that accompanied Jo. “What’s your name, sweety?”      “It’s Y/N L/N,” the intern answers. “I’m competing two horses, one of my own. I’d like to pay for Meadowsweet separately.”      “Not a problem.” Mildred focuses on the blonde cowgirl again. “So that's an entry fee for seven horses, plus the stable fee for nine. Y’all brought two horses for auction, am I right? I remember because I had your father on the phone just this morning.”      “Yeah, we do. Do we have to pay to enter the auction too?” Jo wonders, nervousness lacing her tone.      “Yes, the auction entry is 200 dollars for each. After the sale the amount will be settled, together with the commission,” the elder woman informs. “Entry fee is three bucks per horse, stable fee is fifty each, so that will be 877 dollars in total.”

     Jo takes a breath and offers Mildred the card. The normally confident cowgirl seems on edge all of a sudden as she watches the secretary swipe it. Several seconds tick by while they wait for the machine to accept payment, and apparently it’s getting on Jo’s nerves. Y/N’s friend fiddles with her father’s wallet, tension coming off her in waves. Then the machine bleeps, a long high tone cutting through the heavy silence.

     Mildred looks up at the blonde rancher, sympathetically. It’s in her eyes and Jo’s heart drops to her gut before she even speaks. “I’m sorry. It’s declined.”       “W - what? No, that - that can’t be,” Jo stammers. “Can you try again?”      The kind lady swipes the credit card a second time, even though they know it’s not going to make a difference. The same message appears on the small screen, followed by the monotone beep. The sound is interrupted by the door opening and closing, two other competitors now entering the show office, getting in line to pay as well. Jo curses under her breath.

     “Any other way you can pay, darling?” the secretary asks, kindly.      “Uh - I have…” She leafs through the banknotes with trembling fingers, counting the money, her face turning red. “I have 300 dollars. I’ll check if there’s more in the truck--”      “I got it.” Y/N steps closer to the counter, pulling her wallet from her purse.      “What? No, c’mon,” Jo objects.       But her friend isn’t taking no for an answer. “It’s not a problem. I’ll sort it out with your dad later,” she assures, handing over her own card. She returns her attention to Mildred again. “Could you add my fees as well?”      “I sure can. That will be 930 dollars,” the elder woman states, changing the number on the terminal before swiping the credit card. 

     This time it beeps three times, confirming payment without a hitch.      “Alright, all good to go. Good luck on your runs, ladies,” Mildred says, cheery, trying to clear the awkwardness with her warm smile.      “Thank you,” Y/N returns genuinely as Jo gives the woman behind the desk a nod.

     The girls exit the show office, Jo pulling her hat over her eyes a little deeper to mask her flustered face. The redness slowly starts to leave her cheeks again after a minute, as they walk down the boulevard in silence. Y/N isn’t sure if she should say something, and so decides to give her friend some space. Her mind is going over the incident, however. A maxed out credit card; that can’t be good. The writing on the wall is applied with a paintbrush, the black letter getting bolder the more she learns about the suffocating situation. Her mind hasn’t stopped reeling since her talk with Dean in the cafeteria earlier this morning. There has to be ways to tip the scale. 

     Jo eventually speaks up, voice clipped with embarrassment. “I’m sorry ‘bout that. My dad will pay you back.”       “I know,” Y/N responds, not doubting it for a second. “It’s no big deal, seriously. No reason to apologize.”      “Still... Thanks,” the blonde cowgirl utters, embarrassed nonetheless.      It’s now Y/N’s turn to wrap her arm around her friend’s shoulder, hoping the gesture will ease Jo a bit.      “That’s what friends are for, right?” she comforts her. “Come on. Let’s head back. What’s your starting time?”      Jo glances at her watch. “Eight thirty. Thirty minutes after the opening. So that gives me an hour and a half.”      “Better ready your horse then,” Y/N smiles. “You’ve got barrels to race.”

     “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome on this Friday night to the eighteenth annual Flagstaff Horse Fair!”

     With Y/N’s hand in his, Dean walks up the bleachers, as if he’s afraid to lose her in the crowd. Plenty of people have settled down in their seats already, only a few spots left now that the opening ceremony is about to begin. She’s glad he’s keeping a hold on her, though, because once again she feels slightly overwhelmed by the number of strangers who all seem to be very much aware who her boyfriend is. 

     Several times Dean was held up on their way over to the main arena, by acquaintances, former and current clients, old friends and forgotten faces. She could tell he was doing everything he could to ease her nerves, his hand on the small of her back, engaging her into the conversation by introducing her. Yet she felt relieved when the ring came into view, hoping to find a time to take a breather from keeping up appearances and pretending she’s comfortable amongst new company. 

     “Dean!”      Y/N almost flinches at the female voice calling out for the cowboy. For a brief second Y/N shuts her eyes and takes a breath; guess she needs to keep her mask on a bit longer. She turns to face two women, who greet the wrangler, the one with dark, boy cut hair the first to embrace him.      “It’s so good to see you again,” she says, warmly.      “Hey, Jody.” Dean returns the embrace, genuinely pleased to see her too, before he directs his attention to the happily smiling blonde. “Donna, it’s been a while. How are you doing these days?”      “Hiya, handsome. I’m doing just fine, thanks.” The woman with a strong Minnesota accent pulls him into a tight hug as well, pressing her dimpled cheek against his. She backs away, her delighted eyes bouncing from him to the girl behind the cowboy. “Are ya gonna introduce us to this lovely lady?”

     Dean adjusts his hat and reaches for Y/N, his hand slipping behind her back when he nods at the brunette. “That’s Jody Mills - she takes horses off our hands regularly and finds us buyers - and her business partner Donna Hanscum. Good friends of mine, good friends of the Ranch.”       He then gently pulls her a little closer, the pads of his fingers lingering on her hip.      “Jody, Donna, this is my girlfriend Y/N,” Dean responds, unable to hide his proud smile. 

     Both women share the exact same reaction, their jaws dropping to the floor. If Y/N wasn’t so nervous, she would have found it comical.      “Shut the front door!” Donna exclaims. “Are you tellin’ me that Dean Winchester is off the market?”      Dean nods, his grin not faltering. “I’m spoken for.”      Delighted, Jody laughs. “Well, I didn’t think I’d live to see the day.”      “Took you long enough,” Donna jokes, teasingly pushing his shoulder, before she winks at the cowgirl next to him. “You must be one heck of a gal if you managed to tie this one down. C’mere!”

     Before Y/N can escape, the woman with the vibrant personality pulls her in and gives her a warm hug as well. She can’t help but to chuckle, because both Donna and Jody seem like sincerely kind people. The warm welcome eases her, helping her to feel more comfortable amongst these new friends.      “Why don’t you sit with us?” Jody suggests, after Donna lets go. “Because I wanna hear all about this miracle woman.”

     They take a seat and Y/N soon engages in conversation with Dean’s friends. Contently, he watches his girl, listening to her enthusiastic voice as she tells them about their meet cute. Dean chuckles at the memory himself; never in a million years could he have guessed he would be where he’s standing now, together with the then so timid and slightly prissy intern. She opened up like a wildflower in spring, blossoming into the carefree spirit that years of studying and discipline hid away. 

     Damn, he fell hard for her, didn’t he? She isn’t the only one who developed; because Jody wasn’t wrong. He too never expected to be able to commit, to be faithful to one woman, yet he can’t even imagine being with anyone else but her now. She taught him to look further than tomorrow. He has to admit, he has been thinking about the future more in the past week than he has in all the prior years combined.       His thoughts are interrupted by the commentator, who’s voice echoes through the speakers, mentioning the sponsors of the event.

     “We thank you for comin’ out here this weekend. Folks, right now I would like to ask Alex Jones to enter our arena floor with the Stars and Stripes of the United States of America.”

     Dean glances at Jody, who proudly watches her adopted daughter trot into the ring on a palomino. She’s dressed in a red shirt, blue and white fringe on her sleeves and chaps playfully dancing in the breeze. The end of the flagpole rests on her stirrup, the American colors fluttering in their wake. The crowd rises to their feet as the flag is carried in, respectfully doffing their hats. 

     “As we gather in the spirit of the Old West, let us be reminded of the part that the horses we cherish have played. They offered our forefathers safe travel, partnership, and the freedom to roam this great land. The same unbreakable bond between man and horse still remains today, as we ride for our country. We ask you to remain standing for the playing of the national anthem.”

     Y/N holds her hat by the brim and squares her shoulders, following Dean’s example when he places his right hand over his heart. A calm falls over the bleachers, every single soul watching the flag with the same steady reverence that only blue-collars truly can. The riders in the warm up area are standing side by side, facing the Stars and Stripes, and even the younger inexperienced horses seem to pay their respect.

     “Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light      What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?      Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,      O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?”

     The hairs on her arms rise up as Y/N softly sings along. She knows every word, taught in school of course, but it’s more than that. She believes them. And since she was a little girl, she has dreamed about the Star-Spangled Banner. She imagined it would play while she was standing on the highest step of the podium at the major events: Congress, the Derby, and who knows, maybe one day at the World Equestrian Games. It’s a long shot, maybe, but a goal nonetheless, one she will continue to chase until the day comes that she fulfills that dream. 

     “And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,      Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.      Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave      O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”

     The cowgirl and her horse began circling as the end of the anthem neared, speed increasing. Alex is galloping along the boarding of the arena, the Stars and Stripes flaunting proudly, standing tall. After the last note, the crowd cheers and claps, rallying the rider on as she takes the flag out of the arena at high speed. 

     “Give it up for Alex Jones!” the commentator encourages. “Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, get comfortable, take a load off your feet, take a seat, and get ready. We’re gonna kick off the competition with Barrel Racing for three year old horses. Let’s ride!”

     “Jo is sixth, right?” Y/N checks as they sit down.      Dean nods, leaning his elbows on his knees, watching his cousin in the warm up pen. “Yeah, after the drag.”      “Smooth footing. Could work in her advantage,” Y/N notes, linking her arm with his. “I was wondering; why don’t you teach Jo?”      The wrangler snorts. “Because she would claw my eyes out.”      His girlfriend laughs now, leaning into him and sweetly resting her cheek against his shoulder.      “Hey, we’ve tried, but we just fight like cats and dogs. It ain’t a good fit,” he chuckles.

     The first horse and rider combination shoots from the holding box and the audience’s motivating cheers rise from the stands into the Arizona air. Being a good sport, Dean claps too.       “Ever raced barrel, sweetcheeks?” Donna wonders, leaning forward to make eye contact with Y/N.      “Once or twice when I was a kid,” she admits. “You?”      “Oh, you betcha!” the cheery blonde states. 

     The rules to the game are quite simple. Three barrels are set up in a cloverleaf in the arena and the horse and rider pair need to cleanly negotiate the pattern. The cowgirl who’s the fastest without knocking over any barrels wins. It’s a thrilling sport to watch, perfect for a horse’s speed and agility when the rider knows how to bring it out in them.

     The second rider kicks off, setting a better time that pushes her up the board. The third follows, knocking over the second barrel, landing the poor girl a five second time penalty.

     Y/N keeps an eye on Jo, who gets instructions from Bobby. The ranch owner’s daughter is riding a mare called Sundance, who she started up about eight months ago, being the first person to ever ride her. The young horse had her first practise run a couple of weeks ago, but today is her show debut. The atmosphere of a big competition like this can be quite daunting for an inexperienced horse, but Jo prepared her well.

     The fourth goes wide around the first barrel and swerves to the third, wasting valuable time. Number five has a clean run and betters the leading result; 17.13 seconds is the time to beat.      A tractor enters the arena and the crew removes the barrels, white spray paint indicating where they need to be put back once the sand around it is dragged. When the footing is smooth again, the barrels are placed back.

     “Next up is Joanna Beth Singer with Sundance. Now, this young lady knows how to ride, with multiple wins under her belt, so let’s see what she will do with this youngster today.”

     Y/N moves to the edge of her seat, her heartbeat picking up. She might not be the one competing, but sometimes being the person on the sidelines is more nerve-wracking than actually being the one in the saddle.      Bobby walks with his daughter to the entrance of the arena, the young mare next to him already bouncing with excitement. Rousing music only adds to the exhilarating atmosphere surrounding them, the spectators waiting for the thrilling ride that is about to start. The second Jo’s father lets go of the rein, Sundance bolts away, locking on the first barrel like she has been doing this all her life.

     “And she’s off! Look at that speed, people!”

     “C’mon, Jo!” Y/N encourages, joined by Dean, who has gotten on his feet in anticipation.      The crowd cheers when the fast horse turns sharply. Focused, Jo pushes her heels into the bay’s flanks, hands towards the mare’s ears, guiding the youngster through the pattern to the second barrel. They are making good time.      “Smoke them, Jo! You got this!” Dean shouts, voice lost to the crowd that seems to favor Jo and Sundance.

     The clock ticks; eight seconds, nine, ten. Sand clatters against the metal as the eager horse cuts the third obstacle, so tight that you could barely fit a piece of paper between her boot and the barrel. It starts to tip, and Y/N grabs Dean’s arm when the drum almost tumbles over, but Jo pushes it back with her reins in hand so that it stays upright and the audience erupts. 

     “Yeah! Bring it home!” Y/N squeals, excitedly.      At full gallop the two shoot back to the gate, Jo flat on the Sundance’s neck, the energetic horse accelerating until they pass the finish line. The clock stops at 16.35.

     “Folks, if that ain’t horsemanship, I don’t know what is. What a ride and what a horse! Jo Singer and Sundance are in the lead!”

     Dean grins proudly and whistles on his fingers, glancing down at his girlfriend, who is still applauding excitedly.       “Dean, is that mare for sale?” Jody checks, the trader clearly interested now that she has witnessed the talent.       He chuckles. “Depends on your offer.”      “Fair enough. I’ll go have a talk with Bobby then,” she returns, aware that for a horse like that, she needs to raise the stakes.      “We’ll walk with ya,” Dean states, glancing aside when Jody’s friend doesn’t follow. “Donna, you comin’?”      “I’ll meetcha guys later. I’m gonna watch some more runs with Alex.” She nods at Jody’s surrogate daughter, who just sat down in one of the first rows. 

     They say goodbye and the wrangler places his hand on Y/N’s lower back as they walk to the stairs and get down from the bleachers. She can tell he’s trying to play it cool, but she senses his relief. Jo delivered and just secured more than just a place on the podium with that solid ride. The buyers are going to be lining up for Sundance, which means they can keep the price high. It’s a win Gold Canyon Ranch so desperately needs. The cowgirl bumps her shoulder against his, drawing his attention. The smiles they exchange say enough, she knows what’s on his mind, and he knows she understands.      “I’m gonna see if I can catch Jo. It was really nice to meet you, Jody,” she announces, shaking Jody’s hand before turning to Dean. “See you in a bit?”      He nods and meets her in a sweet, short kiss, before she runs off to the stables. His gaze stays fixed on her, lovingly, until he loses track of her in the crowd. Only then does Dean notice Jody’s knowing smirk.      “What?”      “You got it bad,” she comments, an earnest laugh falling from her lips.      He tilts his head, nodding; there’s no denying it. He’s known Jody for a while, and even though they only see eachother every now and then, he considers her a dear friend. 

     “She’s amazing, really. It’s all still kinda new, though,” he admits, comfortable enough to let some of that softness show. “Oh, which reminds me... Bobby doesn’t know yet. So could you not mention it?”      The raised eyebrow and judgemental look she sends him says enough. Jody stares him down as if she’s about to use her mom-voice, causing Dean to slightly cower.      “She’s the intern and it’s kind of a touchy subject. I wanna time it well so that he doesn’t bite my head off,” the cowboy excuses.       The woman who is tough when she needs to be, turns soft now, rolling her eyes slightly.      “Fine, I won’t tell him. Don’t wait too long, though. It’s Bobby, he wasn’t born yesterday. He’s going to find out sooner than later,” she reminds him.      “I’ll tell him soon,” he promises.      “This is a big first for you, ain’t it?” The female ranch owner smiles at him warmly, apparently amused with the somewhat uneasy behavior of the cowboy.       “It is,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “But it’s good. Never thought I’d say it, but I could get used to this.”      “I’m glad you’ve met someone, Dean. You deserve a slice of that apple pie life.” 

     Dean smiles at his boots, knowing she means more with those words than would seem so at the surface. From a young age, even before Dean moved in with the Singer family, she has kept a watchful eye on him and his little brother whenever they were at the same shows and rodeos. Even though she’s only a few years older than him, she was always taking care of others, protecting those who needed it, and apparently she sensed the Winchester boys could use some support. To be honest, she wasn’t wrong. She has seen a few things, picked up on the tell signs. That knowledge adds to the weight of her kind message.

     “And if you ever are in the need of advice only a woman can offer,” she continues, “may it be suitable birthday gifts for the lady, or choosing an engagement ring, you know who to call.”

     Dean’s eyes widen, glancing aside at the fierce woman, walking beside him. He thought about what is to come, but he didn’t think that far ahead. Especially with her internship ending March next year, he’s slightly careful to presume she is going to want to stay with him. Yes, he will fight for her, but he can’t predict the future. Who knows what will happen when she’s due to leave.      “Whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,” he laughs. “We only just started dating, y’know?”      “Yeah, I know, but she’s a keeper, I can tell,” Jody counters, sure of herself. “Give it some time, I’ll remind you of this conversation at your wedding.”

     The cowboy chuckles, but doesn’t contradict her. Jody Mills is a smart woman, one who usually is right. She can read people, and despite the small age difference between the two of them, his caring friend often mothers him with her wisdom. He can’t believe the thought crosses his mind, but it flashes through his conscience nonetheless. I hope she’s right.

     He doesn’t want to dwell on it too long, though, because the glimpse of what he secretly hopes one day will come true, takes him by surprise. Somewhat daunted, the wrangler redirects the focus.       “I’ve haven’t spoken to Gabe in a bit. How’s he doin’ these days?” 

     There’s a hint of guilt in his voice, even though he tries to suppress it. Gabriel had worked at Gold Canyon since 2005, until Bobby had to let him go last year. The head wrangler felt horrible, especially since he taught Gabe the ropes when it came down to training horses, and getting fired was the last thing his friend ever expected. Just like with Ash, he would have done anything to prevent the lay off, but their boss didn’t have much of a choice.       Thankfully, Gabe got a job as a horse trainer at Jody’s ranch. They kept in touch, but over time the calls came and went less frequent. Lately, it’s been quiet, though, and the woman next to him looks up at him stunned, a mixture of remorse and empathy in her eyes.

     “You haven’t heard?” she asks, appalled.      Dean shakes his head. “Heard what?”      “Oh, honey, I’m not sure how to tell you this,” she starts, averting her gaze to the ground, as if she’s trying to find solace in the dirt underneath her feet. “He had an accident earlier this week. He’s in hospital.”      The wrangler snaps his eyes at her in shock, a frown puckered between his brows. “W-what?”       “Yeah, he--” she pauses, shaking her head as if she still can’t believe it, “- he was working with a stallion, quite a special case. He turned aggressive and Gabe got trampled. He suffered multiple fractures in the vertebrae.”      The head wrangler stops dead in his tracks, causing his company to turn to face him. In shock he stares at Jody before his gaze drifts off, the unpleasant surprise still evident, though. Not sure what to say, he moves his hand to his face, tracing his stubble as he tries to digest the news.      “Fuck…” he stammers. “Is he - he’s gonna be ok, right?”

     “The doctors haven’t given us much yet. From what I’ve heard, the first tests showed very little reflexes, but there was still a lot of bruising and swelling. They hope to be able to get better imaging soon, but right now it’s not looking good. He most likely damaged his spinal cord; he can’t move his legs,” Jody explains, observing the disoriented man before her with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Dean. I know he is a friend of yours. Honestly, I expected you would’ve gotten a call from his brothers.” 

     The cowboy still stares at nothing in particular, unable to grasp what he just learned. “We - uh, we didn’t talk as much as we used to. Kinda fell out of touch after he left Gold Canyon.”       Jody nods at that, the endearing smile that was there when they were talking about his newfound relationship now gone. The corners of her mouth are drawn down, the worry and guilt aging her in a matter of moments.      “It’s really tragic. Honestly, I feel awful. It happened on my land, the horse was my client’s.”      “Hey, this is not your fault, you hear?” Dean replies, gently gripping her upper arm. “These accidents can happen. We forget sometimes, but we still work with thousand pound animals who have minds of their own. It’s dangerous, and he knew that.”

     Jody swallows down the guilt and turns to slowly stroll to the warm up area, not walking away from it entirely, but giving herself something to do. Dean adjusts to her pace, shoulder to shoulder with the rancher.      “I found him in the pen. He was screaming in pain,” she tells. “Of course I happened to be the only other person on the premises. Donna was delivering a horse to a new owner.”

     Shaking his head, Dean glances aside. Damn it, he wishes she didn’t have to go through that. Waiting on an ambulance must have been horrible. Dean knows Jody treats her staff like family, their bond much like the dynamic between the Singer family and their personnel. Dean cares about those he works with deeply, he would never forgive himself if an accident like that would happen to a member of the crew.       “He’s gonna bounce back. Gabe’s a tough one,” he soothes, hoping to offer at least a little comfort.      “Yeah, I hope so.” She sighs as they reach Bobby, who is having a conversation with two older men on the sideline, without a doubt doing business. “I’m gonna talk to your uncle. See if we can come to an agreement on that horse.”      “Better get in there fast, before he sells her to someone else,” Dean advises, after which he turns around. “See you at the party tonight?”      “Depends on how much money I spend at the auction, but I’m certain Donna will drag me there anyway,” she says, doing her best to pull together a playful grin.

     Dean watches Jody step up, politely interrupting the negotiation, not even a bit intimidated by the possible buyers who have already named a price. She’s tough, something that he has always admired. The woman stands her ground in a man’s world of horse traders, runs her own ranch and built her own network. An extraordinary person, who always has his back. He carries nothing but respect for her.

     As he makes his way to the stables, tipping his head to the people he knows on his way over, his thoughts go to Gabriel. Jody is not the only one who feels guilty about his current condition. He just told her she shouldn’t blame herself, so why is it that he wishes he would never have let his good friend go? Maybe if Gabe had stayed, he wouldn’t have broken his back. Maybe if he had taught him better, he would’ve still been able to walk. 

     He shakes his head, trying to dismiss the notion. But like a mosquito the mental picture keeps patronising him, buzzing into his ear, draining him and stealing the wrangler’s peace. When he nears the stable tent B, he picks up pace, however. Because he knows that the one person who will calm his mind and make him feel better with just her smile is right around the corner.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part twenty here

[stargirlsims]

Australian Protest Gear

I couldn’t find any Australian BLM merch for my Simmies, so I dipped my toes in making recolours and tried my hardest! There are shirts and hoodies for all ages with 10 recolours each (60 pieces of CC all up). I don’t have good preview photos (I’ll try and add some later - if you take any and would like me to use them, HMU honestly) but the art includes:

- Black Lives Matter (art created by my lovely wife and adapted from her own BLM protest sign) as seen above

- Sovereignty never ceded

- The Chats/I hope Scott Morrison’s house burns down

- Always was, always will be

- Song lines not coal mines

- Stop Adani

- Silence is compliance

- Free the flag

- Warriors of the Aboriginal Resistance logo

Download links and info are at the bottom of the post but I would appreciate it if you stayed around to read the whole post.

Please note: I am a white Australian who does not identify as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander. I have spoken to First Nations peoples about creating these shirts, and they were happy for them to be created by me. However, please feel free to contact me if you do not feel the same.

Some recent history to contextualise this gear:

- Black Lives Matter refers to the same issue here as in America. Police brutality against Indigenous people’s is rampant, and as in the US, our blak population over represented in criminal statistics. Since the Royal Commission I to Aboriginal Deaths in Custody in 1991, there have been over 430 (432 at the time of the first Australian BLM protests, however that number has gone up in response and an exact figure is difficult to nail down) Aboriginal deaths in police custody. No charges have been laid against any officers involved.

- Australia remains the only Commonwealth country to not have a treaty with its Indigenous population, despite promises to the contrary. A treaty was promised BY 1990 - thirty years later, and they are still waiting. In fact, our constitution still allows state to disqualify people from voting in elections on account of their race.

- Bushfires at the end of 2019/beginning of 2020, mostly in rural and remote areas, threatened the lives and livelihood of our citizens and native flora and fauna. Our Prime Minister cut funding to rural fire services (who exclusively service our rural and remote communities) and fucked off to Hawaii for a holiday while firefighters died in action. Hence, I Hope Scott’s House Burns Down (please click the link, it’s an amazing song, honestly)

- This country always was and always will be Aboriginal land. For over 200 years, the rightful owners of this land have been fighting back against the invasion and theft of their land. Every year, we have a “national holiday” to commemorate colonial invasion.

- Aboriginal peoples have been actively fighting destruction of their land to make way for coal mines for years. Earlier this year, Rio Tinto blew up Juukan Gorge for this purpose, despite archaeological digs finding out that the sight was twice as old as previously thought (46000 years old!!!!), and was full of incredible, significant objects. Included in this was evidence of human occupation during the last ice age!!!!, and a plait of human hair that was 4000 years old, made from the hair of multiple people, which DNA testing proved belonged to the DIRECT ancestors of the Indigenous peoples still living there today. The legislation intended to protect the traditional owners of the land failed them - and Juukan Gorge was blown up along with another sacred site. Now, another company wants to do the same in New South Wales. Shenhua want to destroy land sacred to the Gomeroi people. Destruction of this site will disturb the physical bodies (as well as the spirits) of Indigenous ancestors, displace already native wildlife - most notably koalas, whose population was severely impacted by bushfires just six months ago - and will threaten and very likely contaminate the water supply to towns and farmland nearby. To add insult to injury, Australian tax payers have paid for this twofold - our government invested $226,000,000 while Shenhua (and many other mining companies) investments and stock are owned and traded by the companies who hold our superannuation (retirement) funds. When speaking about the issue, Environment Minister Sussan Ley said the economic benefits outweighed the “loss of heritage value”.

- Adani is another mining company that Indigenous peoples had been fighting for nine years until last year, when Adani received their final approvals to destroy even more sacred land (this time in North Queensland) with, yet again, a whole host of environmental impacts that threaten the livelihoods of the people, flora and fauna - including the Great Barrier Reef, which is both an incredible natural treasure with immense biodiversity already threatens by climate change AND generates tourism for North Queensland, without which the area will suffer massive economic troubles. We lost this fight, despite our efforts.

- The Aborginal flag is copyrighted by a white-owned business, who actively profits off the usage and reproduction of a national emblem. They serve cease and desist notices to Aboriginal-owned brands for using their own flag, while the Australian national flag can be used for commercial purposes with no formal permission. Worse yet, our government could buy the copyright licensing for the flag in order to even the playing field - and they just choose not to.

- Warriors of Aboriginal Resistance are a political organisation fighting all over Australia for the rights and dignities of the Indigenous peoples. They are the group responsible for the Australian BLM protests and many, many more, Australia-wide.

This is just scratching the surface - we could be here all night, honestly, but thank you for sticking with it. If you would like to help in any way:

- Sign this petition to stop the Shenhua Watermark mine

- Sign this petition to free the flag

- Read this article, which links you to many fundraisers you can donate to, all with the goal of closing the gap and ending police brutality (please be aware that this article does contain the name and/or images of deceased Indigenous people)

- Contact Warriors of Aboriginal Resistance directly to find out how you can donate to the cause

Download info:

- requires meshes:

- Liliili’s simple top long sleeves (male shirt) and EA female basic top 3 (female shirt)

- Casteru’s copyright hoodie (make and female)

- Children & toddler shirts and hoodies are base game

- Hosted on Mediafire (no ad*fly/link shortened)

- All correctly colour tagged, disallowed for random and occult

- Please let me know if you have any issues!

Male T-E shirt

Male T-E hoodie

Female T-E shirt

Female T-E hoodie

Children shirt

Children hoodie

Toddler shirt

Toddler hoodie

@maxismatchccworld @mmfinds @mmoutfitters

[gold-rush-into-things]

I Knew You, Tried to Change the Ending (and everything in between)

So what DOES QAnon believe? So glad you asked! They believe that Trump has been planning a “day of reckoning” known as the "Storm," when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested  (they thought this was going to happen on Biden’s inauguration lmao). They also think most Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials are also members of the cabal. You could almost say… It’s all part of the fucking story. (Sidenote: Cabal is a very cool word, I think I would like to be in one someday maybe, one that does not involve cannibalism though). 

The "Storm" became QAnon-speak for an “imminent” event in which thousands of those alleged suspects will be arrested, imprisoned, and executed for being child-eating pedophiles. Perfectly logical, makes total sense. Again, Q’s followers also developed a name for when Q would come to spill, these “Q Drops.”

I put “imminent” in quotes for this reason, here are some of the Q predictions and dates: 

The "Storm" would take place on November 3, 2017. Last I checked Tom Cruise and Hillary Clinton were not publicly executed

That people targeted by the Trump would commit mass suicide on February 10, 2018. No prominent people committed suicide that day, but also like…. wut.

Multiple failed predictions that Mark Zuckerberg would leave Facebook and flee the US. Zuck is still CEO, unfortunately, as of writing this post.

Multiple failed predictions that Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey would be forced to resign. Jack, unfortunately, remains CEO of Twitter, and remains having the ugliest beard I’ve seen.

Ect, ect ect, you get the point.

Finally, like I mentioned earlier, that the "Storm" would take place on January 20, 2021, the day of Biden's inauguration. While I cried a lot that day, none of it was because there were public executions of my queens Kamala, Michelle, Jill, or Hillary. 

BUT, Q soooooooorta got Jeffery Epstien getting arrested for child trafficking right. Even if they were off by a couple of days. But the tiniest victory can give followers a lot of confidence. 

Which leads right into Spade. The first Spade riddle, “♠️ Aug 2018: Karlie will be at the reputation tour in Nashville” was right! I’ve heard TTB didn’t post it until after, which, kinda sketch, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt (undeservedly). This was also very specific, was allowed to be proven true or false, and BAM people are hooked. Again, understandably! 

And, like Q, most Spade riddles just simply did not come true. Such as:

 “♠️ 10.12.2018: However, Karlie will be single and will have rekindled her friendship with Taylor to a suggestive degree.” 

I’m sorry, but it’s been two years, if it was going to happen, it probably would have by now.

There are then a few that Spade followers retrofit into being correct, like about the golden globes and the cloud imagery of Lover. 

But as Spade continued to stop by, it becomes very, very similar to the “Q Drops.” The clues become more and more vague, and people were / are twisting themselves more and more to make them have meaning. A few of personal favorites: 

♠️ 06.25.2019: Why worry, she blooms in June. (This is funny because obvi nothing happened in June, but also, as a gay man, I know all of icon Troye Sivan’s music and he has a song about gay sex called Bloom and that’s all I can ever think about when I read this lol)

♠️ 09.27.2019: The candle flickered, your eyes darted, my heart pounded. (So dramatic, I love it. And can mean anything you want!)

♠️ 07.24.2019: Without judgement or question, she bent to the ground and picked up the pieces. Blood ran from her hands as she cut herself so I could be whole. (This is just bonkers, but it’s also more CAMP than anything Karlie wore to the Met Gala)

My quips aside, all of these literally mean nothing. And so many of them, especially ones that people retrofit to claim were a hint, were things the general fandom already knew. Such as, “Darling, in the midst of this cruel summer I re-read your love letters…” People lost their mind after the tracklist came out, thinking that Cruel Summer had been revealed by Spade weeks earlier. But at that point the tracklist had already been leaked by Secret Sessioners, AND Taylor hinted at it in the YNTCD video and that weird Amazon commercial. 

But, much like Q followers, and the appeal of the possibility of being involved in something historic (the world’s biggest popstar is in a secret lesbian relationship!!), people are sucked in and it becomes harder to question things — like that Kaylor could possibly be over. 

Another similarity, and one that is a major red flag, is the consistent moving of the goalposts that TTB, Spade, and TCG all played a part in. 

You can see this in the aforementioned Spade riddles about them becoming “friends again” in 2018, “She blooms in June,” and their “Ides of March” post — nothing of note has happened in any preceding March. TCG and her posting about “The Gay Agenda” plan for them to come out which kept getting pushed back. And TTB posting every six months or so that the “contract is ending” regarding Karlie and Josh. So, much like “The Storm,” these big, earth shattering events keep getting predicted, but don’t actually happen. 

Whenever I read about Q followers and the depths that they believe that people in Hollywood and politics are involved in this elite cabal, the first thing I think about is Kaylors’ mantra of “it’s all part of the fucking story.”** Much like how Q followers use “Trust the plan” as comfort when things don’t work out as predicted. 

**For reference: Taylor went out with friends in 2016 (including Suki Waterhouse and Cara Delivinge) to a NYC restaurant and someone, assumed to be one of them, wrote “It’s all part of the fucking story” on the paper table cloth. 

This is repeated in the Kaylor fandom as a message that everything Taylor does publicly, is simply that, part of the story. I specifically remember TTB was sharing theories connecting Hayley Williams’ lead single’s music video in 2019 to Taylor, due to a sound at the end of it (which I unfortunately can’t link, since her blog is gone), recently I saw Spade-Riddles sharing Selena Gomez’s recent Insta post because it had oranges in it (implying it’s tied to the YNTCD girl), and these examples could go on and on. While I wish the world DID revolve around Taylor Swift, unfortunately it doesn’t and every person Taylor has ever come in contact with just isn’t droppeing clues about her being queer in THEIR art.

NEXT POST: Shade Never Made Anyone (even Josh Kushner) Gay

[theastrophilearchitect]

Falcon and the Winter Soldier series commentary.

It’s currently 07.28am on Friday the 19th of March 2021, and the first episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier is now on Disney+. For WandaVision, I re-watched the series for a review when it ended, but for this one, I’m going to go as I watch them the first time.

This isn’t going to be run-down, or a play-by-play, just any comments I happen to have. I’ll give some context, but this will generally make more sense if you’ve seen the show.

I’ve actually avoided most of the trailers for this show, but it follows Sam Wilson (AKA Falcon, played by Anthony Mackie) and Bucky Barnes (AKA the Winter Soldier, played by Sebastian Stan) after the events of Avengers: Endgame, after the (death?) of Steve Rogers, the original Captain America, who passed the title to Sam.

Let’s get into it.

Episode One: ‘New World Order’ I hate this title, and I’m scared. This episode is 49 minutes long, and I’m expecting the series in total to have roughly the same six-hour runtime of WandaVision, but that’ll be in fewer episodes because WandaVision started in a comedy format, with shorter episodes. Let’s go.

Cue the Marvel intro.

No, no, no, no, no, no. He’s dressing for a funeral. Fuck.

Nope, no funeral. At least not right now.

And he jumps out of a plane with no parachute. Steve Rogers who? I mean, at least he has wings. Steve’s just an idiot. Where’s Bucky?

Okay, this plane break-in is a really fun sequence. Yes, shields, thank you. Sam’s already smarter than Steve. He’s rescuing a Captain Vascant, and I honestly thought he said Captain Croissant. It would make sense. The people on the plane French.

This sequence, flying through a gorge, really reminds me of a game I used to play at a bowling alley arcade. These damn swerves. They’re so satisfying.

I can’t get the WandaVision episode three theme song out of my head. This show was meant to come before WandaVision, but I saw a chronology timeline that claimed this takes place after it.

I’m really not into huge action sequences--I find them to be the most boring part of any superhero movie, but this is a good one. It is, however, ten minutes long. Still no Bucky.

Ahhhh Rhodey!!! Rhodey’s here! (From Iron Man, but then he’s also in the Avengers movies, so you should probably know who he is.)

Oh, Sam’s giving the shield to the Smithsonian. 

Excuse me, he chose not to become Captain America??

Welp, there’s Bucky. Being murderous. EXcuse me??? What did he just say???? Fuck off. I thought the Wakandans helped him :(

Never mind. It was a nightmare. So he’s meant to be being a law-abiding citizen, and failing. He’s in therapy, and she is calling him out. 

Bucky just asked out a girl, and it feels so wrong, but that just shows how immersed I am in the #stucky ship.

So Sam’s widowed sister is trying to get a bank loan, and they’re real idiots. The bankers, that is. They’re having a go because Sam didn’t have any income in the last five years--gee, I wonder why.

Sam just got a text from Torres--a member of the air force, who he’s working with--and the text ends with ‘#important’. I get the feeling the writers don’t understand no-one uses hashtags in texts.

Newsflash, and the mayor’s announcing a new Captain America, and it’s...  show me the face. Show me the face. Who the fuck is that?

Alright, well, and cut to seven minute-long credits. Well. I have questions. A good episode, though nothing exceptional. And just like the early WandaVision episode, no credit scene.

Episode Two: ‘The Star-Spangled Man’ Released March 26th, this episode also has a 49 minute runtime, and the title is clearly referencing the ‘new’ Captain America. I say ‘new’ because even though I don’t know who this guy is yet, fuck him. Anyway.

There’s a guy in some kind of locker room, who I’m assuming is the new Captain America, who was apparently a football player. I just want to know if they pulled more super soldier shit. The captions say his name is John Walker.

Cue the Marvel logo... with some weird-ass music. Okay, it’s just a... dancing marching band, at the Captain America presentation. They’ve given him a new symbol, like an A turned into a five-pointed star. Apparently he’s the first person to ever receive three Medals of Honour, run missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue, and he has some fancy-ass physicality. This guy seems alright, but I’m just mad they didn’t tell Sam what they were going to do with the shield. At least he likes Steve.

God, Steve would be pissed. Ay, Sam and Bucky are finally in a scene together!

My favourite trope: ‘I’m doing this with you!’ ‘No, you’re not.’ [cut to them doing the thing together]. 

Bucky followed Sam on a mission to Munich, Germany, to do with the Flag Smashers, a free border organisation mentioned in episode one. They’re just glaring at each other, and I love it. God, I love their dynamic.

This has ‘What’s our plan of attack?’ ‘The plan? Attack’ vibes. And Bucky just jumped out of a fucking plane without a parachute. Steve Rogers who? (I think I made that joke in my episode one commentary about Sam. They take so much after their father.)

Sam made a joke about Bucky becoming White Panther after Wakanda, and apparently he’s now the White Wolf. I’m pretty sure that’s a comic book alias, but this is its first MCU mention.

OOOOh, the action sequences in this are fun. And there’s a kid in the back of the bad guys’ truck. Why’s she smiling?

And she just blasted Bucky out onto the road. Wonderful. She’s also a Flag Smasher. Yes, Sam! Yes!

Maybe don’t drive your lorries side by side in the same direction on a two-way road? Just a thought?

And roll in John Walker. You’d think they’d be having a harder time staying stood on lorries travelling this fast.

And Captain America has a fucking gun. No. No. Steve just used a frisbee! Don’t do this, Walker, you bastard.

So apparently the Flag Smashers are all super soldiers. That doesn’t bode well. I don’t think Walker is, though. 

And this suit does nothing for his ass. It just isn’t America’s.

So they all rolled off the lorries, and the bad guys got away. Walker rolled up beside Sam and Bucky in a military vehicle, and they’re just refusing to get in.

‘Just ‘cause you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.’ THANK YOU.

‘You ever jump on top of a grenade?’ ‘Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times.’ You fucking what? Why? That doesn’t sound like Steve’s dumbassery, this sounds like genuine heroics. Disgusting. 

And they finally got in the car. So the Flag Smashers want to put things back how they were during the Blip.

‘Does [Bucky] always just stare like that?’ ‘You get used to it.’ !!!!!!

‘I’m not trying to replace Steve.’ Really? Because it sounds like you are.

I hate that the subtitles are calling him Captain America. He seems like a fine guy, but really?

So apparently there was a super soldier in the Korean War. 

Great. Police racism, demanding to see Sam’s ID but not Bucky’s, until the other policeman points out they’re Avengers. Wonderful. And they’re now arresting Bucky for missing his court-mandated therapy.

Also, I didn’t even acknowledge the fact Bucky got a haircut somewhere before the show stars. I was conscious of it, but I didn’t even think to say anything because I’m just used to seeing Sebastian Stan with short hair.

So John Walker got Bucky out. And Bucky’s therapist is forcing him and Sam into a session. HA, she’s giving them couple’s therapy. This is intense. She made them do some soul-gazing shit, and they started having a staring contest!

AND they’re going to go see Zemo, the villain from Captain America: Civil War. I knew he was in this show, but they’re just going to willingly have a conversation with him?? And again, no credit scene.

This was definitely a better episode than the first--the first honestly felt kind of unnecessary, and I think they just wanted to put the new Captain America at the end of an episode to build tension as a cliffhanger, which is a little annoying but does make sense.

I’m going to be constantly comparing this show to WandaVision, but it’s a lot less mysterious than WandaVision. Mystery isn’t necessary for a show to be good; there’s just a stark contrast between the two shows in that aspect.

Episode Three: ‘Power Broker’ Released April 2nd, this episode has a 53 minute runtime. We open with an ad for the Global Repatriation Council, apparently an organisation focused on helping those who were Blipped reintegrate, though I’m really confused what this has to do with anything--it’s not like the ads in WandaVision, because this is the first we’ve had. I guess the GRC must show up in this episode, but I don’t really think the ad is necessary.

I don’t want to give a rundown of this show like I did with WandaVision, so I’m just going to mention which scene each comment is for.

They’ve really given Zemo an atmospheric cell. Also, this bitch, saying the words that turned Bucky into the Winter Soldier. This bitch and his audacity. Now he’s sorry? That’s hilarious.

Why in fuck’s name does Bucky want to break Zemo out??? I’m really with Sam on this one. What is Bucky’s point here?

And now they’re breaking him out. Wonderful. Nope, never mind, just a... imagining? Nope. He did it. Zemo’s out. This seems like a bad idea. He’s going to betray them. That’s just how stories work.

Ah. Snake gut cocktail. Lovely.

I hate that Bucky’s pretending to still be the Winter Soldier. Hate it. And now Zemo’s trying to sell him. No. Good writing, sure, but still.

Love the ‘kill them’, then gets shot. Love it.

SHARON! YAY! I don’t even like Sharon that much, mostly because her romance with Steve was weird, but yay!

Sam: *takes off his shirt* Sharon: Much better.

‘The bionic staring machine.’ I mean, Sam’s not wrong, but still.

I can’t tell if this song, where they’re walking through this place with pistols, is just background music or actually playing, but I love it. Okay, it’s real. It has Umbrella Academy vibes.

Nope. Zemo has his mask. I don’t trust this. There he goes. Wait. He didn’t betray them? Why? It might just be poor comprehension, but I’m confused.

‘You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?’ ‘No.’ Bucky gets his revenge on Sam. 

So a woman showed up at the end, head shaven, and, according to the subtitles, spoke Wakandan. I think it’s the woman who came with T’Challa in Captain America: Civil War, but i’m not completely sure.

But, hey, that’s episode 3. I didn’t enjoy it as much as episode 2, because, mad as I am they replaced Cap, so far, I quite like John Walker’s character, and I think it’s a really interesting plot line. This was still better than episode 1 though, which just felt like set-up.

Episode Four: ‘The Whole World is Watching’ This episode was released April 9th, this morning, with a 53-minute runtime, and I’ve already been told John Walker does something unredeemable in this episode, so I’m scared. Let’s go.

And we have an explosion, kids. It’s a previously on, never mind. I don’t remember the explosion, but it’s fine. Okay, yeah, the woman at the end of the last episode was the woman from Civil War. I need to look up her name.

Oh, yep, her name’s Ayo, and she’s a member of the Dora Milaje. Lovely.

Jesus, we’re in Wakanda. Why am I scared? Six years ago. Bucky in Wakanda. Right. With Ayo. I hate seeing him cry, God. 

Back to present day. Of course she’s mad about Zemo. I’d also be mad about Zemo. I am mad about Zemo. She gave him a time limit--I think time limits are fun. Build tension. They’re great.

God, Zemo walking down a street full of children singing Baa Baa Black Sheep is so... 80s. Maybe don’t offer sweets to children you don’t know?? Like?? I mean his tactic’s working. Unlike Sam’s. This bitch just turned the children against Sam and Bucky. As you do.

And they have more serum. I’m going to be honest, the supersoldier thing’s pretty elitist, unless they intend to make everyone in the world a supersoldier. I can’t help but see a capitalist versus socialist metaphor here, but then I find those in literally everything.

I do like Walker’s character--he’s entertaining--but as a person, no thank you. I also really like the fact Karli Morgenthau is British, but not quite in the way most British characters in US shows. I fit the stereotypical accent, but you don’t really see other English accents in American shows.

Walker you little bitch, you said he had ten minutes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t guilt-trip Bucky, you shit. And here we go.

I hate the fact this episode mean’s we’re already 2/3 of the way through the series.

And Zemo’s absolutely going to take that serum. Nope. He’s smashing it. I mean, that’s one way. Not the way I expected, but still. And he missed one. Walker’s going to take it. I know he is. And he pocketed it. Yep.

Okay, I would absolutely take the serum if I were offered it. I bet Walker’s going to take it at the end of the episode, though. Who has a bow??

And he’s the Dora Milaje. Pff, it wasn’t even an arrow; it was a spear.  I’m with the Dora Milaje in this scenario, absolutely. Love that Sam and Bucky are just stood there, doing nothing. What’s the point of Lemar Hoskins? He doesn’t do anything.

Don’t unbolt Bucky’s arm, you ass. 

And Zemo’s gone. Now, who could’ve seen that coming? 

Why the hell is Karli calling Sam’s sister??

Sharon put a tracker on Walker? Smart. 

Well, we found Zemo. God, I miss Steve. 

Did Karli just kill Hoskins??

And Walker just smashed this guy’s head in. Lovely. What a Captain America thing to do.  Ooh, the bloody shield’s kind of a vibe though.

So that’s episode 4, and oh my lord.

Episode Five: ‘Truth’ 16th April, and... crap, it’s 07.26, of course, the episode’s not up yet. Will return in like half an hour.

Okay, it’s past 8am, and the episode is...up. Lovely. It’s 60 minutes long, and I’m terrified, because someone told me about a theory that Bucky was going to die in this episode.

Lemar does seem to be dead, which is disappointing, because that would mean his entire character existed solely to motivate Walker to kill that guy, which isn’t very satisfying. Lemar Hoskins is a comic book character though, so who knows.

I mean. At least murderous Captain America is in anguish. He deserves it. Serious credit to the actor, by the way. Wyatt Russell got a lot of hate about his character, and I get why people don’t like the character, but he’s hugely interesting and Russell plays him so well.

So Lemar Hoskins is not dead. Doesn’t exactly put Walker in a good light. He’s obviously not going to give Sam the shield, for God’s sake.

Bucky just looks amazing with the short hair and the blue coat. It’s great. Love it.

And now Walker’s trying to kill Sam. Great idea. Did he take the serum already? Because that would explain why he’s become so brutish. Hold up. No, I don’t think he has. But who knows. Clearly not me.

Yep, trying to choke Sam. Very Captain America of you, John. And he tried to smash his head in. Thank God for Bucky. And Sam got the shield. Good.

There’s cat hair everywhere around me right now.

Well, that intro was very, very fun.

Did Sam just give up the wings...? Why...?

Glad, at least, that Walker’s no longer Captain America. Yep, yelling in a courthouse. Great way to warrant lenience. It’s the good-man-perfect-soldier balance again: Steve was always a good man first, where Walker’s first a soldier.

So Walker did take the serum. That makes sense. It exaggerates personal qualities, so Walker’s anger and... vengefulness.

Is Bucky actually going to kill Zemo? No. No, the gun’s empty. I’m not sure I get why Bucky would take out the bullets intentionally, but alright. 

Hope Zemo has fun with the Dora Milaje.

This storyline with Sam’s sister is so wholesome compared to the rest of the show. So Bucky brought Sam something in a case, and I just want to know what is is. He said is was a gift from the Wakandans, so obviously tech of some kind. New wings?

I’m really confused as to whether or not Lemar Hoskins is dead. He seemed dead. Walker thought he was dead. Then this woman said he isn’t, but now Walker’s going to his family, so... yeah, I guess he is, and I just have really poor comprehension. 

Sam’s nephews playing with the shield is adorable.

Aww, Sam’s learning how to use the frisbee. I know it’s more intense than that, but it’s literally a frisbee.

Soooooo the Flag Smashers are attacking the UN. As you do. 

Credit scene! Credit scene! Walker’s hammering, making... something. A shield. Great. Wonderful. love how he thinks he can make a better one than Tony Stark. Sure. And that, my friends, wraps up episode 5, and marks us as 83% of the way through the show.

Episode Six: ‘One World, One People’ It’s April 23rd. And the last episode is up. Just going to finish the chapter of my audiobook first.

This title is very exciting, and the episode’s 51 minutes long. Let’s go.

Honestly, I’m not huge on shows this intense, but I am enjoying this, which I think is because a) I know the characters, and b) it’s only one episode a week.

Oh, hell yes. Falcon America. Honestly, costume looks kinda dumb. Awww, the subtitles are calling him Captain America. 

This show hasn’t been nearly as exciting as WandaVision, because it lacks the mystery aspect. It’s definitely more for Marvel fans than the other series. What’s next? Loki? Yeah. I just googled it, and Marvel’s really putting out a lot this year. Which is probably because we had a year of nothing, but we’re getting four shows (WandaVision, FatWS, Loki, Hawkeye--which doesn’t yet have a definitive release) and four movies (Black Widow, Shang-Chi, the Eternals, and Spider-Man 3, which I wasn’t expecting until at least next year).

I feel like I just don’t have much to say about what’s happening, because it’s basically just a battle, which I’m never hugely interested in. I’m not really an action person.

Oh, and apparently Ms. Marvel’s this year, too.

Going through a list, clearly, and you mean to tell me we’re not getting Guardians Vol. 3 until six years after Vol. 2??

And fuck. Hey, Walker. In a costume that isn’t yours. Christ, Karli. 

Honestly, I’m really fidgety because all I want to do is watch Shadow and Bone, because the entire series has been out for nine damn hours--I could’ve watched it all by now--but I’ve been busy, and I promised I’d watch it with somebody, and godddd.

We got a far-out shot of Walker dressed as Captain America just then, and I honestly thought it was Nebula. Anyway, offended that Walker dares to think he gets to wear that costume and follow up Steve Dumbass Rogers. Uh-uh.

GOD I just want to watch Shadow and Bone. Christ. I’m desperate. it’s on my Instagram, it’s on Tumblr... that’s it, but oh my God. I so hope it’s good. If it’s bad I’ll literally be distraught.

Oh, thank god. It has 94% on Rotten Tomatoes. Good.

No. Christ. God, I just want to watch it.

Screw it. I’ll finish this episode tomorrow. Byeeee.

Okay, I’m back. I watched all of Shadow and Bone. Let’s keep going!

So I did get about halfway through, yesterday, bar credits, so there’s that.

I love the symbolism of the new Falon/Captain America costume, but that doesn’t stop it from being really, really ugly.

Appreciate the speech about society being screwed up.

Why are they showing the prisoner transport? Something’s clearly going to happen. Did they just blow up the prison van??

And Walker got a new costume. That’s concerning. Give me the name, honey. US Agent. That’s bullshit.

So it is apparently his actual comic book name, but it’s still terrible.

And it said Captain America and the Winter Soldierrrrrrrr. Which is already a film. I mean, the film doesn’t have ‘and’ in it, but still. Anyway. Positive symbolism. Shall we check for a credits scene?

They’re pardoning Sharon. Huh. Nice.

There’s something ominous at play here. Great, so Sharon really is a villain here. That’s fun. 

And that, my friends, wraps up Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I didn’t enjoy it as much as WandaVision, partly for the mystery, but mostly for sheer tone--this was much more your typical darker action film, where WandaVision was more light-hearted, even towards the end.

Regardless, this was a really interesting addition to the MCU, though may not be worth it if you’re not already invested.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica's fifth studio album was released in August 1991. They recorded it at One On One Studios in Los Angeles and Little Mountain Sound Studios in Vancouver with new producer Bob Rock. Once again, the majority of the record was composed by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich as Hetfield wrote all of the lyrics. Kirk Hammett and Jason Newsted also contributed significantly by providing riffs including “Enter Sandman” and “My Friend of Misery.” Metallica decided to go with Bob Rock based on his production work with Motley Crue for their 1989 record, Dr. Feelgood. During the recording sessions, the band did something differently from previous efforts as they played as a group in the studio, not separately. James Hetfield talked about this change. "What we really wanted was a live feel. In the past, Lars and I constructed the rhythm parts without Kirk and Jason. This time I wanted to try playing as a band unit in the studio. It lightens things up and you get more of a vibe." The record took a much longer time to make when compared with their previous efforts beginning with the first demos in August 1990 and concluding in June 1991.

Producer Rock thought recording would be relatively easy, but due to arguments between him and other band members about the direction and quality of the music it became a bit of a disaster. He was highly critical of James Hetfield’s lyrics begging him to write better ones. The band would record as many takes as possible until the sound was right making for a very perfectionist environment in the studio. Kirk Hammett, Jason Newsted, and Lars Ulrich would end up divorcing their wives during the recording of this album creating even more tension between them. Hammett talked about what effect this had on them in the studio. We were “trying to take those feeling of guilt and failure and channel them into the music, to get something positive out of it.” Rock very briefly promised to never work with the band again because the studio was so stressful, but he quickly took that back to work with the band for the next decade. The documentary A Year and a Half in the Life shows quite accurately with real footage of what the making of this album was really like.

This record saw Metallica change its sound from their typical thrash metal to a slower heavy metal vibe that could almost be seen as hard rock. One of the reasons the band did this emerged in the fact that heavy metal as opposed to thrash metal represented a more commercial sound. That is not to say they completely abandoned any element of thrash metal, but instead there was much less of it. Unlike And Justice For All, Bob Rock raised the sound of the base considerably, so that the instrument could be heard. All the band members had the intention of making this album much simpler as opposed to the previous ones with so many riffs and long tracks. James Hetfield would say this, “We had pretty much done the longer song format to death." Lars Ulrich also talked about this change as well. “We felt inadequate as musicians and as songwriters, That made us go too far, around Master of Puppets and Justice, in the direction of trying to prove ourselves. 'We'll do all this weird-ass shit sideways to prove that we are capable musicians and songwriters'" Hetfield did emphasize in interviews that the intention of getting their songs played more on the radio was never foremost in the band’s mind. Another change with this album came in the fact that Hetfield now wrote lyrics based on personal experiences instead of the backdrop of ideas from film, literature, and music. Chris True of AllMusic talked about specifically some tracks on the album as examples. "Enter Sandman'' is about "nightmares and all that come with them". "The God That Failed" dealt with the death of Hetfield's mother from cancer and her Christian science beliefs, which kept her from seeking medical treatment. "Nothing Else Matters" was a love song Hetfield wrote about missing his girlfriend while on tour.``

The title of the album became an extensive discussion as well for the group. They considered naming it after a song on the album or five because this would be their fifth studio album. Yet, they ultimately chose to go the self- titled route in keeping with the theme of simplicity running throughout the entire album. The album's cover was completely black except for the logo and the Gadsden flag in each corner. The two images we’re very difficult to see, so people began calling it The Black Album. The initial printing of the album had those logos embossed in the same color, but on later printings of the album they were changed to a gray color. The Gadsden flag first created during the American Revolution had a motto attached to it, Don’t Tread On Me, which represented a track on the album as well. During the documentary A Year and a Half in the Life, Lars Ulrich joked that Their album looked just like Spinal Tap’s Smell The Glove in Rob Reiner‘s mockumentary. They even included a scene where the band members meet up with Michael Mckean, who actually asked about the similarities. Ulrich would later say that the actual inspiration for the album cover came from the seventies group, Status Quo.

Upon the release of The Black Album, the band subsequently released six singles, which represented a stark contrast to their previous releases. The lead single “Enter Sandman” made it all the way to number 16 on the hot 100 Billboard chart, while other singles did fairly well either in the US or internationally. The music video for “Enter Sandman” went on to win Best Rock Video at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards. The only single not to do much on the charts was “Sad But True,” but it must be noted that the single had a much later release date of 1993. The record itself represented Metallica’s best selling album ever. The Black Album stayed number one in the United States for four consecutive weeks, while it topped the charts in 10 different countries at the same time. By the year 2012, the record had sold 16 million copies becoming the first one in the Nelson SoundScan era to do so. As of 2019, this record was still charting on the billboard 200 making it an exclusive member of the 550 Week Club. Critics emerged as fairly unanimous in their praise of the Black Album. One of the biggest changes for the band came in the fact that not only heavy metal journalists saw the great qualities of it, but now mainstream magazines like New Musical Express were discussing Metallica. Entertainment Weekly’s David Brown said that the group had invented a new genre called progressive thrash. Alec Foege of Spin noted a newfound versatility for the group and songs like the unforgiven and holier than thou. Mark Cooper of Q Magazine mentioned the fact that the record avoided several heavy metal clichés that had come to dominate the genre. Robert Palmer of Rolling Stone said that the album was filled with many hard rock classics. Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune in a retrospective piece said that if you are a novice to the music, then this album is the perfect place to start. Kerrang! in a retrospective article as well pointed out that this album catapulted the band from thrash metal underground pioneers to worldwide rock stars. There was bound to be repercussions over such a major change to the group and how they are viewed. Sid Smith of BBC Music took this observation to the next step by noting that many of Metallica‘s diehard fans did not necessarily love this record because they saw it as the band selling out. This view will become even more prevalent in the years to come as they move their sound much closer to hard rock for the rest of the decade. Allmusic’s Steve Huey observed that this record helped to inspire other speed metal bands to simplify their sound. The album also foreshadowed the decline of Metallica’s creative period. The self-titled Metallica went on to win a Grammy in 1992 for Best Rock Album. The record would make several best of lists, but surprisingly their best selling album for the most part never competed with some of their earlier works on these lists.

[madame-brioche]

CAMP TOCCOA SERIES HEADCANON

Part 1: Meet the Counselors 🦋

Winters — The Nutritional Counselor:

-teaches math during the off-season

-affectionately calls his campers "little chicken nuggets"

-gets up at 5 in the morning for a quiet hike

-makes sure you take your required medication and vitamins and use your inhaler, whatever you need

-goes around to let everyone know it's time for light's out

-will comfort campers with ice cream if they're feeling homesick

-secretly planning a fun last day of camp prank with Counselor Nixon

-lots of pastels in his uniform

-rescues injured birds and squirrels, and nurses them back to health

-knows every camper's name, hobbies, favorite color, allergies

-pinkie promises on everything

-makes the best ice tea and coffee in the cafeteria

-“I love all of you equally”

Nixon — The Chaotic Functional Counselor

-used to pull legendary pranks before becoming a head counselor but now just does mostly paperwork

-tells nightmare-fuel scary stories and then abruptly says "well goodnight" afterwards & leaves

-carries a secret flask and gets wasted at the campfire

-hungover af at breakfast the next morning

-pets every dog he comes across, and even lets his campers sneak one into the bunks to keep

-wears baggy shorts, a baseball cap backwards and rocks sunglasses indoors

-gets hyped for taco Tuesday's in the cafeteria

-hosts wine Wednesday's in the counselors' lounge

-takes spiders outside rather than killing them

-oddly competitive during icebreaker games

-talks shit about other counselors to his campers

-“can I get a double shot americano with bourbon?”

Lipton — The Mom Counselor

-ray of fucking sunshine

-keeps in touch with his campers after they leave

-has been working there for an insanely long time

-arts and crafts leader, orchestrating friendship bracelet making

-gets along with all the other counselors, never has beef with anyone

-gives the best advice, even if you don't want to hear it

-the best bear hugs omfg just makes you feel so safe and protected

-smells like campfire and s'mores

-literally made out of happiness and gummy worms

-surprises everyone with a pajama pizza party

-makes sure you're staying hydrated and getting enough sleep, applying sunscreen/bug spray, and having a good time

-come to him with any injuries, aches, or pains

-“What do you mean you’re not having fun?”

Speirs — The Varsity Wilderness Survival Counselor

-how did this guy get to be a counselor?

-hides contraband in a shallow hole by the obstacle course

-breaks all the rules but upholds them for his campers

-will come in and scare the living shit out of you if you don't listen to Counselor Winters' lights out warning

-only one who hits Counselor Sobel with a water balloon

-gets up at 4am to lift and run around the campgrounds

-only wears tank tops, even in the cold

-will test his campers by leaving them in the woods at night and expect them to find their way back

-maybe sheds one tear on the last day, maybe

-really high stakes trust exercises

-will suck the venom out of a snake bite to save your life

-moves through the forest without making a sound

-“I will throw you to the mountain lions”

Welsh — The Hip Counselor

-plays Wonderwall on his acoustic guitar during campfire performances

-hasn't showered in a week and it's noticeable

-grows a goatee and runs around barefoot

-is banned from helping out in the kitchen

-will set up your tent for you in exchange for drugs

-reigning tie-dye shirt making champ

-recycling king™️

-makes sure there's vegetarian options in the cafeteria

-smells like mother nature's armpit

-wears a bandana around his head

-can be found avoiding duties and playing ultimate frisbee with his campers

-“tbh, I’ve had five existential crises since we’ve been here!”

Compton — The Cool Friend Counselor

-wears a different flannel everyday

-calls you out for your bullshit during cabin meetings

-gives the best pep talks before games of capture the flag

-somehow manages to read 4+ books over the course of camp

-knows how to sew/patch up clothes

-leads most of the cheers and rallying songs

-hangs out with campers instead of other counselors in his free time

-always down for darts, archery, swimming, sailing, kayaking, you name it

-overshares personal life details during campfire sharing time

-will totally help you TP Counselor Sobel’s cabin

-once ate a bee on a dare

-“guys, I’m not mad but who put weed killer in my shampoo?”

Martin — The Don’t F With Me Counselor

-resting bitch face during camp cheers

-aggressively salutes the flag during morning assembly

-inexplicably good at memorizing everyone’s name on the first day

-openly drinks gin and tonic in the cafeteria

-the reason a few campers wanted to go home

-somehow ends up being one of your favorite counselors by the last day

-is not subtle about playing favorites

-cooks most of the food for the camp and will be insulted if you don’t eat what’s on your plate

-can do that loud whistle with his fingers to get everyone’s attention

-low key freaks out if one of his campers is missing and will not rest until they’re found

-mood can go from 0 to 100 over the pettiest things

-“Yeah I’m gonna need you to kindly pipe the fuck down with the crazy glue for the rest of craft time”

Randleman — The Boy Scout Counselor

-wears a lot of camo at all times

-scary good at poker

-smokes on the premises even though it’s forbidden

-talks fast and direct, commands your attention

-makes a mean s’more and prefers the marshmallow to be burnt

-will let his campers get away with the most shenanigans so long as it’s not hurting anyone

-actually cries the last day of camp

-kickball and flag football champion

-has wrestled a grizzly bear and won

-collects pocket knives and random critters

-bff’s with Counselor Martin and sometimes takes charge of Martin’s campers and vice versa

-has never gotten bit by a mosquito

-snores loudly and will sleep through anything

-has been granted camp counselor tenure because he’s been there so dang long

-“y’all wanna go sink a canoe?”

Peacock — The Cute But Clueless Counselor

-wears a lot of band t-shirts merch

-has song lyrics tattooed on various body parts

-rocks an intentional mullet

-constantly getting lost when leading hikes but great at improvising

-has a tan even if the sun hasn’t been out

-blood smells like cologne

-instructs canoeing and determines whether you pass the swim test or not

-has a way with animals and manages the small camp petting zoo

-got six stitches last year from doing a flip off the dock

-gets scared from the scary stories Counselor Nixon tells

-“la la la la if I can’t hear the ghosts they can’t hurt me”

Dike — The Absentee Counselor

-says “oof” after any minor inconvenience

-oversleeps and misses morning assembly

-a camper may die on his watch, you never know

-gives sub par motivational speeches

-tries to comfort homesick campers but ends up crying himself

-has a fear of swimming without water wings

-might get mauled by a bear later

-given up on learning his campers’ names

-calls other counselors for help

-has one facial expression at all times

-spits when he talks

-constantly stressed during outdoor camping

-passive aggressiveness af during cabin meetings

-sleeps with a night light

-“wait am I responsible for all of you?”

Sobel — The Narc Counselor

-literally no one likes him

-mission is to make sure everyone follows his rules

-carries around a bullhorn and a backup whistle

-failed the swim test

-says “fight me” but would get his ass kicked

-misspells everything

-will give you latrine duty if you leave your bunk bed unmade or the dishes aren’t in alphabetical order

-doesn’t participate in campfire games or sing alongs

-got left behind on a trail for 9 hours once

-confiscates any and all contraband camp items including non regulated shoes

-likes noodles with ketchup

-perpetual disappointed glare

-has a cold like once a week

-only allows one s’more per camper

-“and you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee, now put this can of peaches back where it belongs!”

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Campers