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nbafunnymeme · 8 years ago

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How To Watch The Super Bowl With Your Guy Friends Without Being Annoying AF

The Fit Tea people told me that my body would look adequate if I had some more followers So, in an attempt to up my numbers and go from gross to adequate, Ill be spending Super Bowl Sunday with The Betches as their resident Guy Who Knows Football Stuff. If any of my friends askNo, Im not going to be wearing a Super Bored hat (which you can buy at Shop Betches).

No, I will not be drinking Champagne with a strawberry slice on the rim on Super Bowl Sunday. And no, I will not be nodding in agreement when one of The Betches says,

What I will be doing is watching football LIKE A MAN. And if youre a girl wondering how to crush Super Bowl Sunday, heres the girl Id like to watch The Super Bowl with. It’s the girl who…

…Admits She Knows Nothing.

Im not asking for a hand written admission for my lawyers. Im asking for a little bit of humility. Its ok to know nothing about football. Its ok to like a team because you think a player is hot or you like their mascot or your dad cheers for them. But please dont yell at the TV like you actually care. Well know youre lying the minute you call the receiver the catchy guy. So, every time you dance around during a play itll be like youre trying to connect with a father who worked too much. Apply to work at a strip club with your issues or just let it go, because theres someone in the room who cares way too much about this game.

If I showed up to the finale and started cheering every time Kylie spoke, youd get annoyed. If I then tried to tell you that shes the glue of the show, youd know I was a liar. Youd end up in some argument with me about how Khlo is the only reason to watch and Id say something shitty like, Well, thats your opinion. And youd have wasted your time with someone who doesnt know shit because they arent a fan or else theyd know that Khlo is the only reason the show still exists.

…Knows Pop Culture.

That being said, know SOMETHING. In basketball, certain players are shooters, others are distributors, and some…. wait, hold on. IN A WEDDING PARTY theres the maid of honor and then there are bridesmaids. Everyone has their own responsibilities and the best wedding parties are the ones where everyone plays to their role accordingly. A Super Bowl Party is no different. The Super Bowl isnt a sporting event; its an American Holidayif it wasn’t, you wouldnt even be at a party for it. So, be the person who knows what show the guy in the commercial is from. Or tells me who that special guest in the halftime show is. Or how ugly a dress some bitch is wearing. Give me something that Ive been too busy watching football and thinking about boobs to care about. How does Gisele look? What sportscaster is the hottest? Throw in a random Ew and get us off the football train and gay this party up a bit. Thats what makes this day fun. My world of football is smashed together with someones day to judge other peoples fashion decisions.

…Eats.

Let’s just agree to the same rules for the Super Bowl as we follow for Thanksgiving. That means you eat as if youre morbidly obese and a reality TV crew hasnt shown up yet for your episode of . You dont bring a salad or even mention the word salad. You dont talk about how the diet starts tomorrow and then fake laugh as if youre about to murder everyone in the room. You dont mention that someones really going for it when they get up for seconds. And you absolutely dont touch anyones stomach. Lets all act like adults and eat so much we think about purging to eat more.

…Drinks

Ya, its Sunday. Im sure you have work tomorrow and that sucks. But you know who else has work? Everyone at the party who has an Instagram account with less than 100k followers. So stop the complaining about Monday meetings and have a shot and treat Super Bowl Sunday like its a Saturday and youre at a horse race. If youre going to come and talk about how busy you are even though youre on GChat all day then dont come. Im sure theres some work you can tweet about at home.

DGAF about football? Us either tbh. That’s why we’re throwing a Super Bowl party, which you should follow onFacebook LiveandInstagram Livewe’ll be doing fun shit like games and a Q&A with Jared Freid. Be sure to tune in to our post-halftime show, immediately following the halftime show (whenever that is).

Read more: http://www.betches.com/the-girl-guys-want-to-watch-the-super-bowl-with

http://nbafunnymeme.com/nba-news-and-higlights/how-to-watch-the-super-bowl-with-your-guy-friends-without-being-annoying-af

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