#LIKE I GET IT MY EX WAS SHITTY
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rosyadventurer · 8 months ago
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Thinking about how nice to be loved and how it has changed me but for the better. I am yearning and I am yearned for
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epicfirestormer · 5 months ago
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(holds all three in my hands) I just think they're neat
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bonefall · 1 year ago
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what’s Bright Storm like? Since she didn’t get fridged like every woman in the original dotc series
She was always curious and dependable. Bright Storm's the kind of gal who would give you the shirt off her back if she wore a shirt to give you!
Long before they set off on the Sun Trail, she would occasionally confide in Clear Sky how much she wanted to see the world. Travelers aren't unheard of; this was before the Tribe split into its 3 separate Wards and welcomed a lot of comers and goers, but it's not that no one had ever left before. It was more that she had friends and family she was committed to.
Clear Sky pressured her into it, reminding her of how much they'd see, how they'd raise their kits somewhere new, and that he'd be sad and alone forever if she didn't come. Every chance he got, he was bringing it up. He was always her weakness, she hated letting him down.
Her dependability was based on how good of a listener she was, even Gray Wing the Wise appreciated it. She was always keeping an eye out for people's wants and needs, making connections between little 'tips' she'd heard from one source or another. After Gray Wing's death, she found herself in demand for this ability.
She couldn't make a plan quite AS good as xem, but she was better at making a plan into a 'group project.' She'd brainstorm and encourage everyone to join in, putting their brains together until it all fell into place. She could be good at delegating authority based on it, too, though Tall Shadow had much more confidence than her.
And really it's her confidence that holds her back, and can you blame her?
She tried to keep Jagged Peak alive for a moon, but barely caught enough for herself, let alone him AND her unborn kittens. But how could she go back to the camp and just pretend he wasn't out here, dying?
When she goes shuffling back with her son in tow, it was humiliating, it was heartbreaking. It became soulcrushing when Clear Sky rejected her again. With just a few words, she doubted everything.
...was she capable of knowing if she was interpreting this sign correctly? ...had she done the right thing, or did she just make everything complicated? ...he's right, it must be her fault the other two died, if she hadn't--
Tall Shadow interrupted this thought spiral, but Clear Sky is like an infection in her mind. She'd tell you, in a moment of shame many years later,
"I wasn't strong enough to beat him. No no honey, I mean it like the truth. Clea-- Skystar now, he's powerful if nothing else, and he makes you believe it too. It's a special sort of person who can say no to that. I said a lot of his words before I even realized I still had his tongue in my mouth."
Bright doesn't realize how smart she is, because she's so smart she realizes how little she knows. And that can make her doubt herself. She's genuine and caring, but susceptible to more self-assured people making her doubt her own judgement.
But there's no one else Thunder Storm would rather have in his corner, that's for sure.
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starbuck · 11 days ago
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i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”
#i was like GIRL THE SECOND TO LAST FILM I WATCHED WAS FROM *THIS YEAR*!!!!!!!!#she was SHOCKED#just for that i watched ANOTHER film from this year bc i MUST beat the allegations#i tried to explain The List to her and how i break it up by decade and have intentionally tried to diversity what i watch#and TO BE FAIR to me#the films i have shown her so far have been from the 90s 60s and 40s#which is a BIG range if i do say so myself#like. sorry we haven’t watched any current films together…#you literally LIVE in a building with a theater in it#FIGURE IT OUT#seriously tho i am so grateful to have someone who will watch films with me#i ordered Citizen Kane on Blu-ray so we can watch it together#bc she told this CRAZY story about her shitty ex#and in the back of my head i was like ‘you KNOW what this reminds me of…’#so i intentionally waited to offer to show it to her until we were past the breakup situation#but NOW i am hype#and she is hype#and to be fair that’s probably why she thinks i only watch old movies#but it’s not even old to me#like. if it has sound it’s not old…#i’m gonna have SO much fun in my intro to film history class if i get to take it#my goal is to have already seen every film they discuss in the class so that i can just chill out and enjoy it#the final project is comparing and contrasting two films of your choice and i’m still figuring out what i want to do#excited regardless tho#i’m taking it my last semester as a treat for finishing my degree <33
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the patron saint of sapphics is NOT being kind to me today brothers
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dandybambiandy · 11 months ago
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That’s far too similar to what Dave said to you before he went off to destroy Cal, if he’s trying to be like Dave then this could be— —bad.
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caimitos · 6 months ago
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 8 months ago
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ok ok for the ask game, if i may: woodbell, whatever the hell the shipname was for kaisa/abigail, bk/anders and uh. i think you've made your stance on raven scientist clear but i wanna throw that in as well to balance out the insanity
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You absolutely may, ma’am
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cosmic-ships · 5 months ago
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May continue to not be super active today.
I am going to my storage unit to go through my stuff and talk to front desk and give them a move out date because guess who canceled and said "their stuff will be out by tomorrow" WITHOUT ASKING MY PERMISSION
so yeah that's cool. I am in a mild panic and now have to rush (to the best if my ability) 😮‍💨
Like if court stuff wasn't already stressing me out this month I also got this bs happening-
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widevibratobitch · 6 months ago
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doing my sillygoofy research and accidentally coming across a mention of wolfgang mozart's capital M Misogyny that i have never heard of before like what do you MEAN my 18th century specialest white boy wasn't exactly a raging feminist 😭😭
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atomiclace · 4 months ago
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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)
#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk#ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me#yknow without hiding yourself#either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on#like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something#trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad#the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend#its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems#and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you#until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too#you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things#and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks#im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry#not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT#so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk#if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior#because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good#soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL#its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later
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gently-decaying-flowers · 6 months ago
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i hate it here
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girlyliondragon · 26 days ago
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I wish I could selfship again.
I hate that I can't latch onto a character like I used to back then. Ex-'friends' hurt my ability to connect to characters on such a closely personal level so badly I'm straight up too scared to even try anymore bc hardly anyone understands outside the few oldest friends I (hopefully still) have.
My longest was three whole years, even me getting married to the character I selfshipped with and everything (it was one of those Cozy Games where you could date and marry an NPC character ala Stardew Valley-like, which helped the immersion, I felt actually married in my case), but then people made me feel ashamed to like the character for reasons I do not feel comfortable saying (lot of asspulling to put it lightly) to where I distanced myself from them, and then I couldn't get that close connection back again, I look at them and I just feel grief. Same with my last attempt here. Coercive ex from my last toxic "relationship" that I didn't even fucking want to begin with due to mental health tried to basically force me to "get over" my fictional attachments to focus on shitty real life as if that would fix me or at least make me happy as if a middle ground couldn't be had, which only hurt the mental thread more. Feel like had that not happened I'd actually be allowed to still heal in that regard. Bc I literally feel broken and empty otherwise so forever Fuck You with your "it's just fiction so get over it already" shit as if you thought you could fix me and my relationship with the unreal. I was literally fine. :/
I want to feel a closeness to fiction again. I really hate that the feelings I get for characters are so fleeting now when I want it to last longer. Past shit has really hurt there and idk how to get that back.
Like that link was broken ever since early 2023. The headspace I've tailored since I was 12 is just broken and it's been so hard to remake it anew. It really does hurt as someone who had been doing this since I was very young, now it's like I can't to the degree I did then anymore.
But moreso than anything it fucking pisses me off.
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readingfolklore · 3 months ago
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have you ever choked on your own tears because your parent is being a bellend or is that just me
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sillyfreakx5 · 2 months ago
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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fembutchboygirl · 8 months ago
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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up
#i am trembling#i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god#im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you#i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it#i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head#but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually#just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up#much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick#get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up#like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife#my posts
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