#LIKE I GET IT MY EX WAS SHITTY

[rosyadventurer]

Thinking about how nice to be loved and how it has changed me but for the better. I am yearning and I am yearned for

[epicfirestormer]

(holds all three in my hands) I just think they're neat

[vaguely-concerned]

ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.

blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)

*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'

[who-is-page]

hi. seeing people talk about physically shapeshifting and that there’s a category of humans with like powers called supernaturals- shapeshifters, dragons, real vampires that need energy/blood, etc in such a matter of fact way is making me feel strange. there is no proof and science says otherwise, but there is a huge community claiming these experiences and they even have history/lore and that others have witnessed their shifts. is this objectively true and possible in the collective shared reality, or are these individuals experiencing psychosis without double book keeping or something? yes their experience is real to them but is it real in the collectively perceivable scientifically possible way? will diving into this be diving into delusional thinking and be risky for me? at what point does something need to be tagged unreality? I support everyone and their self expression, including folk with delusions that cannot dbk, but what is real? the amount of people claiming this and guides on everything make it seem like it must be real especially since they say it’s not a delusion. but is that just bc they can’t double book keep? this many people just happen to have the same delusion? I cannot diagnose people, and I don’t want to be ableist by saying it may be a delusion, but if it isn’t then what is it? what else do you call it? genuinely. I don’t know.

follow up question- it is not morally wrong if someone is experiencing a delusion without double book keeping and genuinely believes they can pshift. but people say pshifters are like intentionally harmful to other people because of how they talk about it. but what if they just talk about it as capital R Reality real and possible to achieve because they are experiencing a delusion and can’t help but talk about it like this bc it’s real to them? is the issue that they are unaware and unintentionally harming others or is there a specific intentional way they are talking about it different that is not excusable by delusions? I’m just trying to learn what people mean when they say they are bad bc I don’t want to be ableist about it /gen

---

This is....a lot of questions jammed into just a couple of asks, so I'll do my best to answer the main focus of them.

Look, at the end of the day regarding "is it a delusion? is it RealTM? are they just fucking lying?" I want to say that it just kind of fundamentally...doesn't actually matter?

The problem with self-identified p-shifters isn't that they're making claims that they can physically shapeshift or that they have physical nonhuman aspects. Physical nonhumans are fine (and are in this discussion a separate thing from p-shifters, because "p-shifter" is a very specific term with a specific history). The problem is that:

Telling a group of dysphoric individuals that they CAN be their true selves in an otherwise completely impossible way if they just try hard enough, and that any issue to do so is because of a personal failing (you didn't want it enough, you didn't try hard enough, etc.) is just kind of a shitty thing to do. It's also potentially dangerous.

The above idea has most notably been used to manipulate, scam, con, and hurt people by folks who have self-labeled as p-shifters. This is why so many folks are leery of the term "p-shifter." This doesn't mean that people who identify as p-shifters are inherently going to do any of that, but it can come across a lot of the time as though modern self-identified p-shifters are just handwaving that history--at least, that's how it appears to me, but maybe it's just me.

The ways that p-shifters talk about their experiences in capital R reality (without getting into the weeds of "is it true/it is real/are they just lying") are extremely triggering to delusional nonhumans, which is something that endels have talked more at length about; see babydog's post here.

The division between ignorance (do they just not know) and malice (do they just not care) doesn't matter here, imo. I also personally don't think p-shifting is real, because if it was, I don't think the otherkin and therian communities would actually exist-- because we'd all fuck off and go be animals in the woods. That, and the ye olde science side of Tumblr went out of their way to break it down and debunk it so, so many years ago: Biologyweeps even had a dedicated p-shifting right past the laws of physics tag, back in the day. But that's just my take on things.

[moeblob]

Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).

I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".

[starbuck]

whenever i see a person saying “i’m new to the mountain goats, where should i start?” i always want to tell them to go straight for zopilote machine, but then i remember that i listened to tmg casually for at least a year before i listened to zopilote machine

[bonefall]

what’s Bright Storm like? Since she didn’t get fridged like every woman in the original dotc series

She was always curious and dependable. Bright Storm's the kind of gal who would give you the shirt off her back if she wore a shirt to give you!

Long before they set off on the Sun Trail, she would occasionally confide in Clear Sky how much she wanted to see the world. Travelers aren't unheard of; this was before the Tribe split into its 3 separate Wards and welcomed a lot of comers and goers, but it's not that no one had ever left before. It was more that she had friends and family she was committed to.

Clear Sky pressured her into it, reminding her of how much they'd see, how they'd raise their kits somewhere new, and that he'd be sad and alone forever if she didn't come. Every chance he got, he was bringing it up. He was always her weakness, she hated letting him down.

Her dependability was based on how good of a listener she was, even Gray Wing the Wise appreciated it. She was always keeping an eye out for people's wants and needs, making connections between little 'tips' she'd heard from one source or another. After Gray Wing's death, she found herself in demand for this ability.

She couldn't make a plan quite AS good as xem, but she was better at making a plan into a 'group project.' She'd brainstorm and encourage everyone to join in, putting their brains together until it all fell into place. She could be good at delegating authority based on it, too, though Tall Shadow had much more confidence than her.

And really it's her confidence that holds her back, and can you blame her?

She tried to keep Jagged Peak alive for a moon, but barely caught enough for herself, let alone him AND her unborn kittens. But how could she go back to the camp and just pretend he wasn't out here, dying?

When she goes shuffling back with her son in tow, it was humiliating, it was heartbreaking. It became soulcrushing when Clear Sky rejected her again. With just a few words, she doubted everything.

...was she capable of knowing if she was interpreting this sign correctly? ...had she done the right thing, or did she just make everything complicated? ...he's right, it must be her fault the other two died, if she hadn't--

Tall Shadow interrupted this thought spiral, but Clear Sky is like an infection in her mind. She'd tell you, in a moment of shame many years later,

"I wasn't strong enough to beat him. No no honey, I mean it like the truth. Clea-- Skystar now, he's powerful if nothing else, and he makes you believe it too. It's a special sort of person who can say no to that. I said a lot of his words before I even realized I still had his tongue in my mouth."

Bright doesn't realize how smart she is, because she's so smart she realizes how little she knows. And that can make her doubt herself. She's genuine and caring, but susceptible to more self-assured people making her doubt her own judgement.

But there's no one else Thunder Storm would rather have in his corner, that's for sure.

[boyswillbebutch]

the patron saint of sapphics is NOT being kind to me today brothers

[albatris]

why is it sad lad hours

[dandybambiandy]

That’s far too similar to what Dave said to you before he went off to destroy Cal, if he’s trying to be like Dave then this could be— —bad.

[warmestshrine]

Praying for your Downfall by Jensen McRae is soooo good. A+ song to dance to tbh.

[starbuck]

i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”

[sun-marie]

5, 8, 15, 23 for the artist asks! :]

hehe, thank you for the ask!!

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

While attempts have been made, I've never successfully drawn any Shenko art, or Kaidan Alenko art period. And I'd really like to change that, bc Kaidan's ME3 romance emotionally affected more than maybe any other video game romance (probably tied with Rookanis), and yet you'd never even know I liked him if you took a look in my portfolio. Really, I wanna more Mass Effect art in general, but specifically Shenko is on my to-do list 💪🏻

8. What do you like most about your own work?

Ohh 👉🏻👈🏻 Well, part of why I like drawing facial expressions so much is that I do think I can be good at them. And the more comfortable I get drawing backgrounds, the better those backgrounds are looking I think. Also I can't lie, I do love me some warm color pallets 🍂🍁☀️

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

OOOHH okay this is a big one, but it's when artist put down their own work in their art post. "Here are my dumb scribbles", "The anatomy's all wrong on this but here it is anyway", "I know no one cares about my art but here it is" stop it!!! why shoot yourself in the foot like that before the viewer can even form their own opinion? if you hadn't mentioned the mistakes I probably wouldn't have even noticed them, and I certainly wouldn't have cared about them! in a world where machines can just steal a person's artwork and create endless soulless schlock from it, I think having some basic confidence and pride in yourself as an artist is essential. You're a human who made Art with their own hands!! whether you like it or not doesn't negate it's value and you shouldn't either.

Also, it bugs me when new/amateur artists do it, but it really bothers me when objectively skilled/talented artists do it. New artists don't have that confidence yet because they're just starting out in a new hobby, and when they see experienced artists also self-deprecate about their art it's demoralizing! if your [experienced/skilled/talented artist] years and years of experience still only create something you actively call slop out loud, then why should new people even start?

...anyway, i'll hop off my soapbox now. love is love and art is art, and self love and self confidence is important to keep in mind regarding your art.

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favorite?

I do listen to music :3 Usually I just throw on whatever YouTube mixes up for me (and currently it's quite a lot of the pmd ost <3), but according to YouTube's recap thing for 2024, I apparently listened to Echoes of the Eye from the Outer Wilds (a game i...have not played...) for a total of 1,364 minutes, and I can guarantee a solid 1,200 of those minutes were while I was drawing <3

Artist Ask Game!

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

ok ok for the ask game, if i may: woodbell, whatever the hell the shipname was for kaisa/abigail, bk/anders and uh. i think you've made your stance on raven scientist clear but i wanna throw that in as well to balance out the insanity

You absolutely may, ma’am

[widevibratobitch]

doing my sillygoofy research and accidentally coming across a mention of wolfgang mozart's capital M Misogyny that i have never heard of before like what do you MEAN my 18th century specialest white boy wasn't exactly a raging feminist 😭😭

[fngrbngme]

i'll never forget this splatterpunk book i read and this one line went "You made me a CUCK!!!!!!" and i'll never forget it