#LIKE HE IS FUCKING JULIAN!!!

[depressedtheatrekiddo]

What do you mean Manel from 'Apocalypse Z: The beginning of the end' isn't a Julián Martinez from 'El Ministerio del Tiempo' variant?

[fonthoura]

Hc where Garak knows Julian is a liar, but he can't, for the life of him, know what he's lying about.

Like, he has this feeling, given to him by years of training and an observant eyes, that Julian is very purposefully unauthentic, and it seems that no one else notices.

He sees how Julian talks a lot and overshares, but never really says anything, to the point where his friends would have a hard time answering any question about him, like, for fucks sake, it took reading his file to get to know his date of birth because no one knew.

Jadzia thinks he has a brother, Miles is convinced he has a sister, and Garak is fairly sure he is an only child, the problem is, Julian doesn't talk about it. He talks too much and hardly says anything.

Garak also notices how he is always tense, as if holding back, like when he lets himself be punched when he clearly sees it coming, when he let's things break even though Garak is sure he could've caught them mid air, how he seems to calculate the perfect amount of clumsy in a day (once he even bumped into Garak and pretended to be distracted) and no one notices.

But Garak does, Garak knows he is lying about something, he feels it, specially when he looses on games and arguments, like he could not think of something else but Garak sees it in his eyes that he is hiding something.

And Garak constantly gets worried, despite his best knowledge, about him.

He knows how lonely it is, to keep yourself hidden from the world, to not let anyone know you, to hold the weight of a thousand secrets on his body, and constantly he sees this weight taking it's toll on the doctor.

Julian keeps people at arms length, he gets close on condition, he larps with Miles, discuss literature with Garak and converses with Jadzia, but keeps them all compartmentalized, always distant, even his crush on Jadzia being shallow, no real depth to it.

Julian seems skin deep and Garak knows how it feels and aches for him.

So he constantly tries to scratch the surface, aways tries to get Julian out of his lie made shell like Julian does to him, and he doesn't succeed, but he keeps trying.

Specially after he finds out that Julian had been gone for a month and not even him noticed it, he knows it's because no one would, because Julian keeps so much of himself hidden that you can't distinguish him from a fake.

And then, doctor Zimmermann shows up...

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[youngpettyqueen]

Julian would take a bullet for Garak because thats just a fundamental part of who he is as a person and I think you could count on one hand the amount of people he WOULDNT take a bullet for. Garak would take a bullet for Julian and it would be entirely because he's so hopelessly and desperately in love with him and he would be fucking MORTIFIED about it. Garak gets shot for Julian's sake and when he wakes up later he's genuinely mad that he survived because now he has to live with the mortification of having gotten shot for this goddamn doctor for the rest of his life

[vaguely-concerned]

there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club

[zebrashavestripes]

I FUCKING HATE JULIAN RUSH HE IS THE WORST.

As someone who has been in EMDR therapy for over 2 years, I think I should start with that. It should be physically impossible for a good emdr therapist to allow a patient to experience a flashback during a session. The entire point of this process is to allow the brain to be conscious and alert in the present whilst also processing and remembering the past. A flashback means the patient is fully in the past, not in the present, and the therapist has failed plain and simple.

If a flash back DOES occur, under no circumstance would you ever, ever, ever, grab said patient and HOLD THEM DOWN. this is not "Safe" this usually provokes the patient further (rightly so) because you are VIOLATING their personal space and boundaries. therapy is supposed to reinforce boundaries and people's ability to express them, not push them further. Sofia left immediately after being provoked, and she was right to. I just wish she had never spoken to him again after that.

The fact the Dr. Rush performed intense electro therapy on patients in Arkham??? Whether she had killed those people or not, there is no way electro therapy would have made her better??? What the actual fuck.

HIS ATTRACTION TO HER IS NOT CUTE. Look I see Sofia. I am a lesbian. I have eyes. She deserves all the admiration she gets. But Julian is just so fucking creepy and it's genuinely sickening. He looks at her with this very objectifying and sexual gaze. It's true that she's sexy and powerful, but he is plainly unworthy of her because he doesn't RESPECT her. Not really. He sees her as powerful, sure, but that's not the same as respect. He pushes her boundaries, asks for things he knows she shouldn't give him. He's just plain disturbing.

IN CONCLUSION: I hope she kills him <3

[doctor-octiddius]

man, these spot the difference games are getting hard

[sophaeros]

this blonde jock chad bitch (x)

[ringosmistress]

[not-equippedforthis]

i'm on episode 3 of ds9 and i've formed five main thoughts about garak and julian:

oh my god he's even more homosexual towards julian than i thought. even with all of my knowledge. and expectations from watching tos. what was that.

he's a TAILOR??

this man would be such a fucking dickhead in among us

or go fish

JULIAN'S A LONDONER???

[dreamerdrop]

Thinking about how the Miles & Julian DBIP scene could play out in your Abscess verse - in the case that Julians enhancements don't get revealed any earlier - and it's breaking my heart imagining something along the lines of Miles asking "So you never told anyone?" and Julian stiffening and looking away and whispering "Luther... knew." and Miles taking a few seconds to realise what that meant and then positively vibrating with anger as he asks "All that time - he was blackmailing you?!"

And then later on, the realisation that Julian's had this hanging over his head for years - that no matter what's happened in the intervening time, no matter how much work he puts into his recovery, there was never anything he could do about the fact that Sloan could ruin his life at any given moment...

Also thinking about how much angrier Sisko might have been at Julian's parents, because I'm sure he might have put the pieces together, and can see how their actions opened Julian up to being in such a vulnerable position and able to be taken advantage of.

I hope this is okay to send! I just really love thinking about how things might happen in your verse because it's just so sad, and very much fun! ❤️❤️❤️

THIS IS A LOVELY THING TO SEND ME YES.

Ahhhhhhh, see, something that I find extra fun is that I can't see Julian letting his parents know much about Sloan either. He wouldn't bring up, even in his angriest moments, that the secret they left him carrying was held over his head by an abusive rapist to coerce him into compliance.

His parents would never KNOW that this is why Julian's friends and superiors are suddenly so EXTREMELY furious with them. They wouldn't UNDERSTAND. They would think Julian's friends are all disgusted that they turned their son into an augment, no matter how justified they feel they were in that.

They wouldn't really get that his friends don't CARE about him being an augment, they care that Julian has been held down by that secret and harmed by it. They care that Julian was HURT.

Miles would be spewing blood.

I think he'd promise himself that night that no matter what happens, he is NEVER ever, EVER going to ask his children to carry secrets, from him or for him. He will never let them be vulnerable like that, unable to seek help so horrifically.

He probably makes sure, in the days and weeks and years that follow, to tell his kids, over and over, that they are perfect just because they're them, and he couldn't imagine ever wanting anything more from them than that.

He probably lies awake some nights, wishing Julian had been told the same. Wondering how differently things might have gone if Julian's childhood had been mapped out around unconditional love.

Miles swears to himself he'll make sure his children know what love is supposed to be like.

[casualavocados]

in ep13 when ai di wants to make the deal about dying before chen yi, he starts out the conversation by slapping chen yi's ass btw. if any of you even care.

[fonthoura]

So, about my "Garak knows Julian is lying, he doesn't know about what" hc. Now a bit from Julian's pov.

He knows that Garak is onto him, so when they're together he creates a system, he will talk, he will debate and have stimulating conversations, but he doesn't leave openings for Garak to ask much. And if he does, he never outright doesn't answer, he does so, only noncommittal, he never outright lies elaboratly like Garak, he just evades. (one time Garak asks how was his childhood on earth and he only says "dreadfully uneventful")

He does the same with all his friends, but the problem with Garak is that he notices, he can talk a lot with Jadzia and never reveal anything, Miles is a closed off man that doesn't ask too many questions, but Garak? Garak pries, he is curious, and is much like Julian in that sense, he can't resist a mystery.

Now, let's think about how much it would hurt, to be falling in love with a person, to want to spend your time with them, but you just can't. Julian wants to talk, he wants to let Garak in, he wants to spend many hours with him, but he restricts himself to only his doctor or his lunch mate, nothing else, he can't risk it, it's too dangerous, and he never felt lonelier.

To love someone who will never know who you really are.

I think it would get so much worse after the changeling, like I said on a previous post, the changeling emulates Julian well and no one notices because no one knows Julian all too well.

I think everyone would feel so much guilt cuz, how could they not notice it? He's their friend, he knows everything there is to know about them, and they can't even notice when he's literally not himself??

But Julian is okay with it.

Not okay, per say, but he expected it, he knew it all along, that his friends wouldn't know it, he's resigned, it's his own doing and he is defeated by it, by this horrible thing that he made happen because of something his parents did to him, but he assures everyone that it's fine, there was no way for anyone to notice.

How could they know? He sure as hell didn't make it easy.

And he gets lonelier, if possible, because he is painfully aware of how insignificant his existence is, because no one knows him apart from his name and job, he can't rely on anyone, only on himself, and he is going crazy with it.

Julian spent his time on the camp convinced that no one was coming, because no one knows him enough to notice, and it's his own fault, and he feels so hollow, the solitary confinement brought it to the surface, how it felt silent and he was forced to confront his solitude for the first time.

He needs to let it out, but he can't, and Garak gets more persistent.

All his friends start to notice something is wrong, but he bounces back from the camp like nothing happened, smiling, acting the same. All this acting, he only starts to get noticed by others because he's getting tired.

Everyone just thinks it's just because of the camp, but he knows Garak sees him, so he distances himself a bit.

And when the secret is out, he wants to run, to hide, he is scared, terrified even, he knows people will look at him differently, he is mortified of being known for who he is, he doesn't know how to deal with any of this, he was never ready to be himself fully.

But, for the first time, he feels free.

[chitinleg]

"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."

Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?

[youngpettyqueen]

I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for

[ghostlylicious]

i drew dandelion having period cramps because i have them rn and i wanted to put my anger out on someone

(press 4 better quality 💔)