#LET THINGS BE ABSTRACT AND EXPLORATIONAL AND BEAUTIFUL

[lyssified]

"i didn't like asteroid city" "i didn't understand it" shut up shut up shut up you're not supposed to understand it

do you think augie steenbeck understood a single iota of what was happening to him, do you think jones hall understood the play he was acting in, do you think conrad earp even understood the play as he was writing it?

just watch the pretty movie and feel things!! you'll get it when you get it. you can't wake up if you don't fall asleep !!

[pearl-nouveau]

A Woman's Purpose - Cregan Stark x Reader [chapter one]

summary: Your mother, Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, has always prepared you to marry and you have always resisted, terrified that you will only ever be seen as a wife. But your heart is torn when love catches you by surprise.

contains: mentions of self-harm, aged-up characters (Jace is ~19 idk)

a/n: wow i have not posted on this blog in YEARS but i lurk in tumblr reader insert oneshots like it's my part-time job, and i wrote this on AO3 so i decided to post here and hopefully get some love. i really love posting my writing even if it is not perfect, it's just a passion. let me know if i should post the second chapter and my asks are always open! xx - pearl🦪

Beauty is power, my mother used to tell me, stroking my silver hair as if it were made of golden thread. She loved my hair. Use your beauty to set yourself free. I had no idea if she meant for her words to bring some kind of comfort to me - they did not. 

Sometimes, I hated her for bringing me into the world altogether. While Jace and Luke envied my resemblance to our mother, I detested sharing her light hair and lilac eyes. It seemed to me a symbol of my imprisonment - it became clear to me, hearing all this talk of my beauty and nothing else, that I was never to be loved or seen for anything else.

In my youth, the abstract concept of my fertility and status made me a formidable form of currency within the royal family. Jacaerys, older by one year, made his way as heir by training in combat and dragonriding and studying the history of Westeros and Old Valeria - I, however, was confined to studying the family trees of the realm's powerful houses, to perform the perfect Velaryon princess and eventually be bred like a cow.

I hated my life. 

Many attempts were made to rebel against my predetermined future. At ten and two I sliced all the hair from my head, leaving a shaggy, uneven mess of shimmering half-bald patches that took years to grow back. I had never seen my mother so angry until at ten and four I began slicing patterns into my arms and legs to scar the perfect pale skin everyone complimented me on. Soon she required a chaperone with me at all times, which only made me more furious, and I began picking fights with my cuntish uncles and coming back from dragon rides inexplicably soaking or covered in soot. I waited for my mother to attempt to put together the puzzle I had laid out in front of her; to figure me out and decide that her daughter - the strong-willed, intelligent, adventurous one - matters more than the empty shell of a married woman that I will surely become. 

At the very least, my mother allowed me the power to turn away whomever I wished. It seemed she hoped I would find someone who struck my fancy. But as time passed and my antics worsened, her grip on me tightened, and I began to fear the wost: an impending betrothal. 

She frequently asked me to rack my brain and think of any previous men she had introduced me to who I may want to explore further. But I was stubborn. I maintained that no one had caught my eye, and I insisted that I would never marry. Whenever I said such things, my mother would frown at me in a way that hurt my heart. She was my greatest antagonist, but I loved her, and I knew that it saddened her to put me through such pain. 

Even if there was one man who never left an impression on me, whose memory kept me awake in the darkness of night, I would never tell my mother. It was too humiliating after so many years of fighting marriage to be seduced by love.

Every so often I allowed myself to think about him before I went to sleep, to be swept up in the beautiful dream of someone's arms around me. I could imagine him saying to me, I choose you. That was what I always dreamt of hearing. I choose you, as you are. Just you. 

Jacaerys tried to sympathize with me but he would never truly understand. He did allow me to partake in his own pastimes to grant me a change of scenery from the walls of King's Landing. 

"It infuriates me that she herself is allowed to break barriers as heir to the Iron Throne and I must remain shackled to tradition," I complained to Jace as we sparred in a remote corner of the keep. "She gets to be immortalized as the first of her name while subjecting me to a loveless marriage."

"She was in an arranged marriage with our father." Jace pointed out, sending a particularly hard offensive move my way. I easily thwarted it. 

"Well..." I trailed off. There was nothing to say, not in words, about our parents, or our parentage. It was an unspoken issue, even between Jacaerys and I who were nearly as close as twins. We supposed it would always be shrouded in mystery. We were prepared to always wonder. It seemed unthinkable to ask our mother any questions, nor our father, nor... 

Strong boys, they said. 

Perhaps Jace and I wouldn't speak of it because our difference in hair color had always been a sore subject. I was broken out of my thoughts by another offensive move, this one catching me by surprise. I stumbled back but recovered, moving around the side of my brother as he laughed at me in the way only an older brother would. 

"I'll get you back for that," I snapped at him, but grinned. He smiled back, shrugging cockily. Bring it on, his eyes told me. 

We sparred a bit more until our breaths were heavy in our throats and our swings became more jests than challenges. Eventually, he tossed his sword on the ground and fell upon a sack of grain. I sat next to him and for a moment we were not prince nor princess. We were just two siblings. I sighed, knowing it wouldn't last for long. 

Jace seemed to decide to bank on the moment as well because he looked to me and spoke. "Was there really never anyone who caught your eye? Not in all those years of meeting suitors?" He thought for a moment. "There were some good ones."

"Some good ones?" I scoffed. "Who, pray tell?" 

After a few moments of consideration, he began to chuckle and I rolled my eyes. The chuckle became a cackle and at this joke, I did not laugh along. We both knew that most of the options I had been presented with were vapid, shortsighted, insecure children, as were most men.

I was about to hit him to shut him up when he stopped suddenly and his face brightened with realization. 

"I know a good one," Jace said, "Cregan Stark."

A flush crossed my face at the name.

Usually, I only allowed that name to cross my mind in the darkness of night, but Jace had disrupted that routine. "What about him?" I tried to ask innocently. This time my brother was the one to roll his eyes at me. 

"Don't play the fool, sister," he teased, "when he came to visit those years ago everyone could see that you both took a liking to each other. Even you couldn't fight him." He nudged me playfully with his elbow. "He fights like a Northerner, and he wanted to fight for you."

"Oh, hush."

"Why did you ever turn him away anyways?"

His question silenced me. It was a painful memory. Cregan had come to treat with my grandsire and pledge his support as Warden of the North, and in those two moons he stayed at King's Landing we came to know each other well. Perhaps the reason why I had opened myself to getting to know him was because he had not come for the intention of courting me. In fact, I found him wonderfully ignorant about the social politics of the royal family, and he did not know of my existence upon his arrival. 

The day we met, I was in the Godswood with a book and a porcelain cup of candied almonds. A midnight blue veil covered my thigh-length silver hair. I hated my hair, and I hated that my mother would not let me cut it. I refused to have it braided and let it fall unbrushed and wild down my back.

He had come into the courtyard without noticing me tangled in the roots of the tree. He came closer to examine the trunk thoughtfully, allowing me a glimpse of his face through the branches. I had heard of his arrival and listened from behind closed doors at their meeting, intrigued by his deep voice and foreign accent. I listened intently as he spoke a prayer in a hushed tone. All of a sudden, his gaze shifted to meet mine between the leaves as if he had known I was there the whole time. 

"Apologies, my lady," he bowed his head slightly. "I did not know the Godswood was occupied."

"There is room enough for two," I said shyly. I was not accustomed to being pleasant towards men. I was known for being a beautiful devil, a menace with a sour tongue. It made me self-conscious to think that I was changing my behavior for a man. But I was merely matching his politeness; and he had no reason to falsify his kindness, since he had no idea who I was. 

Luckily for me, I had no reason to overthink my words because he went silent for a long while, lost in a wordless prayer. After a quarter of an hour had passed, he came closer to me, and gestured to the root beside me. 

"Do you mind if I sit?" He had asked.

I shook my head and he moved his thick cloak to drop down beside me. 

"Pardon my intrusion, my lady, I find myself feeling lonely when I come to the South. The Godswood calms me."

"I understand, Lord Stark."

His eyebrow quirked. "You know who I am?"

"I'm afraid I do." I smiled. I loved having the upper hand. I decided I wouldn't tell him who I was. 

"What is your role here in the castle, my lady?" 

"To please lords like you." I jested. Cregan leaned back slightly, taken aback. I quickly realized the suggestive wording of my joke. "Not like that," I quickly corrected, "I was just... I mean-"

"I know who you are, princess." He chuckled at me. I was glad to be rescued from the embarrassment of my failed joke. I gazed at him questioningly. He leaned forward and gently removed the veil from my head. "Unfortunately your appearance does not allow you anonymity." 

I blushed. "What have you heard about me?" 

"Nothing, I admit, until your grandsire told me about you today. He told me of your age, not many years my junior, and I supposed-"

"- That I might make a fine breeder for you?" I snapped. There went the illusion of politeness. This was where they usually ran, when I became a beast instead of a beauty. A piece of work not worth the effort. 

Instead, Cregan merely chuckled. "Actually, I sought a companion. A friend. Being here is lonely for me, and I thought you might show me what life in King's Landing is like. If I am to swear fealty to your family, I seek to know your customs. Your mother has told me that you are the most well-acquainted with the keep of her children." 

You smiled. Had your mother truly said that? It was true, since you spent so much time darting around the palace avoiding her orders. 

"Would you mind giving me a tour?" He asked. His tone was so gentle, so uncomplicated. It was like no man had ever spoken to me before. With respect, as if he were speaking to a friend. It was refreshing.

For the next few weeks, Cregan and I formed a friendship based on mutual respect. He informed me of Northern politics and asked for my opinions on complicated political matters through a Southern perspective. I introduced him to my dragon, Vermithor. Afternoons were spent in the Godswood picnicking for the purpose of introducing him to local cuisine, and evenings were spent in the library discussing literature. The relationship felt as easy as breathing to me, and I could tell he felt the same. After close to two moons, it had begun to frighten me how much I longed for his presence when we separated at the end of the day. 

There had always been a tangible tension between us that toed the line between friendship and romance. Lingering gazes, intentional touches, and meaningful words kept me up at night. He opened up to me about the unique grief of losing his wife in childbirth and having to leave his infant son at home so soon afterward. I showed him the scars littered across my body, and explained to him how I hated my beauty.

He had taken my head in his hands and looked through my soul with those gray eyes. 

"Your beauty... It is just a fraction of you. What is truly incredible is your kind heart, your wit, your intelligence, your soul..."

I had been unable in that moment to keep myself from kissing him, so I let my mind empty and I surged forward to connect our lips. He responded with fervor, bringing me close, the pads of his thumbs barely grazing the peach fuzz on my cheek. I could not even bring myself to feel ashamed about grabbing his tunic underneath his cloak, my fingers unknowing but desperate. He had taken my hands and pulled back, only to kiss my nose, then brow, then the corners of each eyes, and then my knuckles. 

Suddenly I came too. I saw in front of me the path that had been laid for me - a wife, be it to a good man or a bad one. I was still determined not to let that happen. 

As I often did, I had fled. I had avoided him until he went back to Winterfell. Two moons later, a raven came from him. I didn't dare open it, too afraid to face my actions. Even if I felt that I knew what the contents were, Cregan was not like other men I knew - thus I had always wondered what the letter said. I wondered if it was true that he truly cared for me and saw who I was inside. The thought made me realize that even I myself did not know what path may be laid in front of me. My feelings confused me, and I decided to shut the Lord of Winterfell out of my mind forever.

Except on some dark nights. 

And except for now, when Jacaerys prods my arm and awaits the answer to his question. I realized I must have been silent for a long time as his voice began to register in my head. 

"Lost in thought?" 

"Ha-ha," I shoved him back. "Sort of." 

Jace's face became serious. "I was only jesting, but perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up. I know you truly did care for him."

"How could you tell?" I asked, genuine curiosity lacing my tone. It was past the point where it was worth feeling awkward about the truth of my feelings. I was only human, after all. 

"He was kind to everybody, but especially to you." Jace pursed his lips in thought. "Although at the same time, he does not treat you like you're soft. It was like he loved hearing you speak. Like your word was God."

I smiled. 

Jace nudged me. "And... he looked at you like you hung the damn sun in the sky."

My heart skipped a beat hearing that. I knew it was true, but I was used to people looking at me in awe. As if I were a ball of light floating in front of them, ethereal, untouchable. Cregan was not afraid to see through me, to touch me. He made me feel held.

Emotion overcame me in that moment. I quickly scrambled up from the bag of grain Jace and I were lounging on, grasping my sword and tossing my hair over my shoulder. 

"Well, it's too late now," I quickly said, "He's in Winterfell and it does not matter if he cares for me or not, I do not want the life of a housewife."

Jace stood. "Who says that getting married means you'll become a housewife? You'll be a lady, you could do whatever you please." 

"It isn't just the marriage, it's the principle of it!" I cried, moving away from him towards the main training yard. "As soon as I take those vows, it means my purpose is only to bear children." As we entered the larger courtyard and grew closer to other people, he grasped my arm and spoke to me in a lowered voice. 

"I know you think I do not understand, but I am soon to be betrothed as well, likely to someone I will never love."

"Well, at the end of the line, you have a throne." I spit at him, spinning on my heel and leaving him staring helplessly after me. 

[suzayaaa]

THINGS THEY DO AS YOUR BOYFRIENDS - NCT DREAM

pairing: bf!nctdream x gn!reader

word count: 0.6k

theme: fluff, established relationships

warnings: none?

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

MARK ⋆ ★ taking pictures of you

Just looking at you makes his face hurt from smiling, eyes like cupids every time he sees you. The sight of you brings him all the positive emotions at once, so when you’re not there, the pictures are. Posed, natural, goofy, taken in secret, phone gallery, wallet, wallpaper, framed pictures in his room—you’re everywhere in every shape and form. Whatever it is, you’re always by his side, and that’s all he needs to make his heart explode with love.

RENJUN ⋆ ★ doing your chores

Cleaning your apartment, watering your plants, cooking, taking care of your pets—even the project you have for your school or job, he would research for you. All so you can have one free hour. Putting himself out, just for you to spend that one hour with him, safely wrapped in his arms, quietly chatting about all the abstract thoughts you have, feeling the warmth in your bodies and hearts as you spend your free time tangled in love.

JENO ⋆ ★ going out with you

It’s not a secret that Jeno doesn’t leave the house unless it’s an emergency. He loves his own space more than anything, but he loves it better with you. Biking through the city, taking walks in the park, shopping in your favorite shops, going to an arcade, a restaurant, a picnic, or any activity you’re up to, he will be there. He will let you take him to places he has never imagined going to, all for you. Jeno will do anything, as long as it’s with you, because everything is better by your side.

HAECHAN ⋆ ★ making you laugh

There is nothing like the sound of your laugh for him. Whether it’s quiet giggles or obnoxiously loud bursts of laughter, even a hint of a smile on your face makes Haechan the proudest man in this world. Messing up your hair, saying the stupidest nonsense ever, telling jokes that aren’t even that funny, tickling every part of your body until you desperately yell at him to stop. Every moment spent with him turns you both into the biggest children ever, and it’s just you, him, and the shared smiles and laughs.

JAEMIN ⋆ ★ asking about your day

It might seem like an obvious thing to do in a relationship, but to you, it means a lot more. Jaemin always asks about your day, allowing you to rant freely and get rid of all the negative emotions, or brag about the achievements of the day, exploring your feelings and thoughts, letting you understand yourself better and letting him learn about you more, strengthening the bond you share.

CHENLE ⋆ ★ taking you on trips

Whether it’s a one-day trip to a city nearby or a three-week-long trip overseas, whatever place you mention, he is already looking for attractions and a hotel to stay in. Chenle makes sure you see the beauty of the world, and seeing you happy makes him happy. Even if you complain about him spending too much money on you, to him, the smile on your face while exploring different places and cultures is worth much more.

JISUNG ⋆ ★ taking care of you on a tough day

Preparing a bath for you, washing and caressing your tired body as you slowly let go of all the stress and tension built up throughout the day, drying you, dressing you, even doing your skincare as you study his soft face features for the nth time. Then leading you to the kitchen to eat dinner together, and ending the day by watching your favorite show and relaxing in each other’s embrance. All done in silence, because all you need is each other’s presence to feel loved.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[hoshifighting]

minghao as a sugar baby!

— WARNINGS: sugar baby x sugar mommy relationship, smut, penetrative sex, wax play, hao is a bit reluctant at first. — (Seventeen as Sugar Baby's Series)

you met minghao at an art gallery, of all places. the kind of place where the air feels thick with pretension, and every other person is silently judging the brushstrokes on canvases they pretend to understand. you weren’t there for the art, though. you were scouting—looking for something that would catch your eye, something different. that’s when you saw him. he was standing in front of a massive abstract piece, hands in his pockets, head slightly tilted like he was trying to decipher a secret code hidden in the swirls of paint.

“what do you think?” you asked, walking up beside him. you weren’t talking about the art, though.

he glanced at you, surprised at first, but then his lips curved into a small, almost amused smile. “i think it’s a mess,” he said, eyes flicking back to the canvas. “but sometimes, messes can be beautiful.”

you smirked, recognizing the double entendre, and that was it. you knew you had to have him.

he was reserved, his words carefully chosen, and his gaze, while intense, held a certain distance. but there was something about him that intrigued you, something you couldn’t quite place.

the relationship started slowly. minghao was cautious, almost wary, as if he didn’t want to get too close too quickly. you showered him with gifts—designer clothes that suited his lean frame, tickets to exclusive art exhibits, and, eventually, those pearly white veneers that made his smile even more captivating. at first, he accepted these things with a polite nod, a quiet “thank you,” but you could tell he was holding back.

the first time you took him to an exclusive gallery opening in paris, dressed in a suit that probably cost more than most people’s yearly salaries, you saw something shift in his eyes. minghao loved the attention, loved the way people looked at him when he was with you. from that point on, he became more than just your sugar baby—he was your partner in crime, the one who could match your energy, your hunger for more.

and then there was the sex. minghao was a fast learner, eager to explore every kink and fantasy you threw at him. you remember the first time you introduced him to wax play. the way he flinched when the first drop of hot wax hit his chest, but then he bit his lip and looked up at you with that mischievous smile, his pearly white veneers catching the low light of the room.

he tried to stay composed, his lips pressed into a thin line, but you saw the way his body responded, the subtle arch of his back, the way his hands gripped the sheets.

“you can let go, you know,” you whispered, your voice low and teasing as you ran your fingers over the hardened wax. “i want to hear you.”

minghao’s jaw tightened, his eyes locking onto yours. for a moment, you thought he’d resist, but then he let out a soft moan, his control slipping. the sound making you clench around his cock, and you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that you’d broken through his carefully constructed walls.

from then on, the dynamic shifted. minghao still maintained that cool exterior in public, but behind closed doors, he was different. there was a rawness to him, a desperation that surfaced when you were alone together. he kissed you with a hunger that surprised even him, his hands rough as they tangled in your hair, pulling you closer.

you remember that night in the french hotel vividly. you’d been louder than usual, the combination of minghao’s skilled hands and the intense pleasure he brought you pushing you over the edge. he’d tried to stay quiet at first, but as your moans grew louder, he couldn’t hold back anymore. he kissed you, hard, swallowing your cries as he thrust into you, his own moans vibrating against your lips.

“fuck, you’re so—” he didn’t finish the sentence, too lost in the sensation to find the words. his fingers dug into your hips, pulling you down onto him as he buried his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin.

you knew you had him hooked when he started buying things for you—little trinkets from his travels, rare pieces of art that he thought you’d like, things that showed he was thinking of you even when you weren’t around. it wasn’t the price tag that mattered, but the thought behind it. minghao had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the world who mattered, and that was something no amount of money could buy.

together, you became a force of nature, tearing through life with a passion that few could understand. you were the power couple everyone envied, the ones who seemed to have it all, and for the most part, you did. but it wasn’t just about the material things—the luxury cars, the designer clothes, the extravagant vacations. it was about the connection you shared, the way you brought out the best and worst in each other, pushing each other to new heights, both in and out of the bedroom.

and as you lay there, watching minghao sleep, his chest rising and falling with the steady rhythm of someone who’s truly at peace, you couldn’t help but smile.

[malevessel]

WHAT ONE DOES FOR LOVE

Jordan had been working as a model for several years. It started as something casual but soon his beautiful Latin body became famous and brands raffed it off. He quickly gained fame and fortune, and it may have gone to his head a little. After years of care and training he had gone from the sweet boy he once was to a fucking hot play boy.

However, Jordan was no fool. He knew perfectly well what was happening and at that moment he didn't care. But now years later he had realized that he lost many things along the way.

He moved away from his family, and his childhood friends, and as for love, well, since his body and attitude were so superficial, the girls he hung out with were too. They were with him for his body and his money. But as the years went by and Jordan was looking for something deeper than just sex, which was not difficult to get because he was very well "hung."

Jordan realized that he had become so abstracted from the real world that he had lost his ability to relate to the world outside of the show. That wasn't a problem until he met her. It was unintentionally, a simple act of fate, but in one of his photo sessions, Jordan had bumped into her, who worked in the photography studio, in the image editing studio. It was a resounding crush of love.

She was about his age, but she didn't look like any girl he'd ever been with. She was dressed very neatly but you couldn't say that she was a sexy woman, by usual standards. But for Jordan she was a world.

Months passed and although Jordan tried to get to her on several occasions he was always rejected. Last time she had told him that she could never be with someone with so much money and so little brain.

Jordan wasn't stupid, he never was. It's just that he had spent so much time in fame that he no longer knew how to act in any other way, in a more humble way. However Jordan found a solution to that. Ed.

Ed was one of his "admirers", not to mention stalker. Jordan knew he wasn't dangerous, but sometimes it was annoying to have someone like that chasing him around like a paparachi. However from what he could see, Ed had no problem interacting with people. He was friendly and respectful, just as you would expect from someone who didn't have an image like Jordan's. Ed almost fainted when Jordan knocked on his door one night.

After trying to calm him down, Jordan offered Ed an impossible deal. Jordan needed Ed to posses him. That is, he needed Ed to take care of Jordan's body.

Ed couldn't believe what he was hearing. His sexual fantasy was in his house, telling him that he would give him his body.

It took Jordan a while to explain the situation to Ed. He wasn't going to give him his body, he was going to share it. So Jordan, or rather, Ed, could gradually establish a relationship with her crush, and Ed could live the life of his dreams. Ed accepted without hesitation.

The process, far from being "magical", was painful, especially for Jordan. The body tends to reject an invading soul, and not resisting is very complicated. But in the end Es was in, and with Jordan too tired it allowed him to explore that new body well.

The next morning Jordan let his new "partner" drive. Ed tried various poses and juice in the shower only to head to his new closet. He was very clear that he wanted leather. It was his great fetish, and with that body it would look incredible. After a dance and some sexy tight pants, "Jordan" was ready to conquer the heart of his beloved, and maybe his body too.

[yxlnst]

Art of attraction

idol!minghao x reader!y/n

🎀 Summary 🎀 : You and Minghao explore an art museum for your first date. As you enjoy the art and talk, your connection grows. By the end, you both realize it's the beginning of something special.

🧸 Word count 🧸 : 1,050

Fluff

🧸 - - - - - - - - - - - - 🎀 - - - - - - - - - - - - 🧸

You were standing outside the city's renowned art museum, nervously tapping your foot. It wasn't just any date—it was with Minghao, the guy who'd caught your eye for months. He was charming, intelligent, and had a unique sense of style that set him apart from everyone else. When he suggested visiting the museum, you were excited, but now that you were actually here, the nerves had set in.

"Hey!" Minghao's voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you turned to see him walking toward you, a bright smile on his face. He wore a casual blazer over a simple shirt, looking effortlessly cool. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was crazy."

"No problem," you replied, trying to sound casual. "I just got here myself."

Minghao led the way into the museum, and you followed, trying to keep your excitement in check. The museum was filled with people, but it was surprisingly quiet. The echoing halls and marble floors gave the place an air of sophistication, and the soft lighting added to the ambiance.

"So, where should we start?" you asked, looking around at the different exhibits.

"Let's check out the contemporary art section," Minghao suggested. "I heard they have a new installation that's pretty cool."

As you walked through the museum, you couldn't help but notice how comfortable Minghao seemed. He pointed out different pieces of art, sharing his thoughts and asking for your opinion. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself getting lost in the exhibits.

"This one is interesting," Minghao said, stopping in front of a large abstract painting. It was a swirl of colors and shapes, almost hypnotic in its complexity. "What do you think it means?"

You tilted your head, studying the painting. "It looks like chaos at first, but if you look closely, there's a pattern. Like life sometimes it feels chaotic, but there's order if you know where to look."

Minghao smiled. "I like that interpretation," he said. "It's a bit like us, isn't it? We might seem different, but there's a connection."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You'd always admired Minghao's way of seeing the world, and now that you were getting to know him better, you realized how much you had in common.

As you moved through the museum, you found yourself enjoying the conversation and the art. Minghao had a way of making even the most abstract pieces feel accessible, and he was genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts. It wasn't just a date—it was an experience, one that you didn't want to end.

After exploring the contemporary art section, you headed to the museum's café for a break. Minghao ordered a couple of drinks, and you found a quiet corner to sit and talk.

"Thanks for coming with me today," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "I wasn't sure if you'd be interested in a museum date, but I'm glad you came."

"I'm having a great time," you replied, smiling at him. "It's nice to do something different for a change."

Minghao leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face. "You know, I've always liked art because it's a way to express yourself without words. It's like, you can show people how you feel through colors and shapes, and everyone sees it differently."

"That's what makes it special," you agreed. "Everyone brings their own perspective."

As you talked, you realized how easy it was to be with Minghao. He was thoughtful, kind, and had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the room. You shared stories, laughed at each other's jokes, and discovered new things about each other.

After finishing your drinks, Minghao suggested visiting the museum's sculpture garden. It was a beautiful space, filled with statues and lush greenery. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the garden, and you could hear the distant sound of birds chirping.

"Wow, this place is amazing," you said, admiring the sculptures. Each one seemed to tell a story, frozen in time.

Minghao walked beside you, his hands in his pockets. "It's one of my favorite places in the city," he said. "It's so peaceful, and the art is incredible."

As you wandered through the garden, you found a secluded bench and sat down. The atmosphere was serene, and the fading light gave everything a golden hue. Minghao sat beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours.

"I'm glad we did this," you said, feeling a sense of contentment. "It's been a while since I've had this much fun."

"Me too," Minghao replied, turning to look at you. "I was nervous, honestly. I wasn't sure if you'd enjoy it."

You laughed softly. "I was nervous too. But it's been great."

Minghao's eyes met yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world faded away. The sound of the city, the distant voices��it all disappeared. There was just the two of you, sitting on a bench in a sculpture garden, enjoying the moment.

"Can I ask you something?" Minghao said, his voice gentle.

"Of course," you replied, curious.

"Would you like to go out again sometime? Maybe for dinner or something?" he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

You smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest. "I'd like that," you said. "I'd like that a lot."

Minghao's smile widened, and he nodded. "Great. It's a date, then."

As you sat together, watching the sun set over the garden, you knew this was just the beginning. It was the start of something special, something that had been building for a while. And as the stars began to appear in the sky, you felt a sense of excitement for what was to come.

[windvexer]

hiii chicken. i have an issue i was hoping you can help with, maybe give some ideas. i have a whole list of mental illnesses and a big symptom is struggling with showering everyday plus keeping my house clean. the problem is i feel like i cannot undertake any spiritual task (even a tarot reading) if i haven't fully showered+ cleaned my house. it's a mix of my religious upbringing and feeling like everything is spiritually unclean too if it is physically unclean. i cannot even wave some incense around because it feels useless. i understand the best solution to this is that i actually just keep everything clean but i was hoping to hear something else that might help too. thank you 🫶

Hi, Anon. I imagine that the best solution is probably not just keeping everything clean all the time or else you can't practice your faith.

So I'll speak on the only thing I can, which is magical cleansing theory and technique.

So first! Let's get some definitions going.

Spiritually unclean is a bit of a loaded term, I think, because usually people take "spiritual" to mean "faith; belief; my interaction with what I hold sacred" (&etc), and then spiritually unclean can sound like, "my faith tells me I'm dirty unless I clean all of the time," which I don't think is something I can help with.

Instead, we can perhaps choose more discrete terms to discuss the topic.

One helpful term here may be profane, as in, not sacred; nonreligious. This definition of profane is close to worldly, which is something secular; in contrast to the spiritual.

Completely separate from that is something we might call supernatural energy. For our purposes, supernatural energy can be described as the supernatural body of a wide variety of phenomenon, from emotions, to gods and spirits, to abstractions such as elements and concepts (try channeling the supernatural energy of beauty, or the concept of a cozy mystery novel!).

Given these definitions, we've got a couple of avenues of exploration.

Generally, a lot of witches and practitioners really do enjoy having sacred spaces in their homes. These are usually small spaces, because they tend to be difficult and even tedious to properly maintain.

Few of us have the space to maintain an entire room as a temple in the home; if we're lucky, we get a whole sacred bookshelf. Many practitioners can't, or don't want to, keep sacred spaces in their homes at all.

Wicca and Traditional Witchcraft, and I don't know whom else but I'm sure we're not the literal only two, have dealt with the concept of sacred space by casting a temporary circle, the space within considered to be highly sacred in many ways useful to a witch.

So when you say, "I feel like everything is spiritually unclean," if what you mean is, "I feel like my home is worldly, profane; I want to transform it into a sacred space suitable for practicing my faith," then my reply to you is:

Invest in the witchcraft knowledge and skills which allow you, as the witch, to delineate manageable spiritual spaces within your home and keep them magically safeguarded and separate from everyday living spaces.

Witches can build and safeguard sacred spaces; we have the technology. We can build permanent physical spaces, like altar rooms and shrines, but we can also build temporary spaces, like circles.

After all, if a construction company can block out the profanity of the outside world just by putting cladding on a frame, why can't you separate the sacredness of a small, manageable working space by building magical walls actually intended for that purpose?

Regarding self-cleansing, in your case showering:

If the purpose of your showering is to make you, personally, feel as if you've "crossed the threshold" into a state of sacredness, that's certainly not invalid.

However, it may be worth examining in your practice if A) other things can deliver you into a state of sacredness without triggering unwanted focus on physical cleaning, and B) exactly how sacred you've got to be to perform typical witchcraft practices that you'd like to perform.

In my practice, I wouldn't say I've ever got to get sacred, but I do often have to get into headspace, which may be another function that showering (and cleaning the house itself) is performing for you. If you haven't, practicing shifting your state of consciousness or entering "magical headspace" intentionally and with chosen cues may be very valuable to you.

Now, all of the above completely aside, when you say that you feel your space is spiritually unclean, perhaps what you mean is "my house regularly accumulates supernatural energy, and I feel that it's useless to practice if these other energies are getting in the way."

And that's a whole other can of beans.

The short answer is that this can be dealt with in the same way as sacredness; draw a magical line in the sand, and say "this smaller space is where I'm doing my working, and I'll manage the energy inside of it, but not without."

The long answer is to perhaps begin questioning why your home is so filled with all these stifling supernatural energies, and how you can take proactive steps to limit unwanted types.

People and animals tend to shed energy during the normal course of their lives. Energy does tend to accumulate in unused corners of rooms, even if those corners are regularly tidied and dusted. And all of this is nothing to say of events like parties, arguments, holiday festivities, and spirit or god interactions that can rapidly shift what supernatural energies are cluttering up a place.

In part, this can be dealt with using proactive spellwork. Enchanted objects can be put near doors to comb through incoming energy and help prevent unwanted varieties from coming in. Servitors can be created to munch on certain types of energy and poo out cozy white light. Charms on the top of door jambs work particularly well to manage energy flow through the household.

That incense being waved around can clean out unwanted energy, too - and frankly, if it doesn't, then there is more practice to be had in regards to enchanting substances for the purposes of cleansing.

Normal cleaning can be supercharged with magic to not only ensure unwanted types of energy are removed, but also to have a preventative effect to help stop them from coming back right away.

If there are special factors, like a household member constantly leaking awful vibes onto the rug, magic can also be done to stop their energy from spilling out; or, proactive spellwork can be done to divert or adjust upcoming unwanted events, and so on.

I wouldn't say it's wrong to want a house that specifically has only got your favorite types of energy in it, but the practical does tend to get in the way quite a lot.

Like, I live with other people. Witchcraft isn't mind games or psychology. If you strip the house of energy and refill it with a certain type, other people notice. Pets notice. Spirits especially notice, and Lord knows they're going to have their opinions on it.

If your only method of cleansing your home is entirely cleaning it every single time, there are a lot more helpful and proactive cleansing techniques out there, is what I'm saying.

At the end of the day, I'm real loosey-goosey on belief. Once I believed ritualistic cleansing was the only way, then I believed in the power of regular cleaning, then there was no difference between cleanliness and dirtiness, or sacred and profane; then it all mattered again but it was easy, and coming up here in a minute I suspect it'll all still matter but it'll be hard.

Wanting a sacred space, wanting a clean space, believing in cleanliness and sacredness; these are not the issues.

It sounds like for you, the issue is learning how to manage your needs and separate your sacred/clean working space from your everyday living.

I genuinely think there are a ton of angles to approach your concerns. Why does waving around incense feel useless? Did you not enchant it, and if so, what evidence do you have that your technique works, or does not work? How often have you tried casting spells in your untidy house versus a tidied one, and what are your rates of success for each?

Can you enter magical headspace in an untidy space? Can you do so in public if you have sufficient privacy? Can you do so in someone else's untidy house? How much practice have you put into magical techniques of connection? Have you been relying on cleaning house to shift you into magical headspace?

Anyway. I hope this all helps. Have a great night :)

[babyjakes]

holy ground. [blurb.]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | april '23 ddlg-themed blurb night

summary | love is an ocean; you and jake are diving in, head first.

pairing | best friend!jake jensen x little!reader

warnings | jakey and reader are exploring ddlg together for the first time. this is not my typical smut!! it's much more abstract, i just enjoyed writing it very liberally and creatively. p in v sex, not very descriptive. alludes to size difference/kink. they cum together <3. i wrote this in past tense and idk why, it just felt right. an obnoxious amount of taylor references.

word count | 548

an | okay so i had a few jakey requests hehe! you guys really get me :'-) i've never written daddy!jakey, but it's probably time given the url change lol— thanks to the sweet nonnie who sent in the idea of best friend!jakey trying out ddlg with reader, and @brandycranby for the size kink idea <3 i love this dynamic with jakey so much, just being so close and vulnerable with each other already, slipping into daddy land feels so natural for him and reader! this did turn into quite the expressive piece for me, i feel like i rarely write smut this way but with jakey i just couldn't help it lol, hope everyone likes it regardless! <3

It was an incredible scene to witness, though both of you knew not a soul beyond the other would ever know about its occurrence. It was something special for just the two of you, something sacred. A careful step forward, as big of a step as it was. A single spark blooming into a timid flame. It was new to both of you— new and special, oh so rare. Skin on flushed skin, hands intertwined, lips searching across inches of body that felt like miles; he foraged all of you, left no part of you untouched or unloved.

"So beautiful," Jake's words swam through the thick cloud of your shared apartment's warm air. "So beautiful for me, baby. All mine, aren't you? Say it."

Your droopy eyes peered up at him through tears, the beam of sun pouring in through the window hitting him at the most glorious angle; he was straight out of a movie. Outlined by the golden rays, he shone before you, beads of sweat forming on his tender forehead as he thrust himself back into you once more. His size was overwhelming, leaving no hint of you unfilled as his tip slammed up against your bruising ceiling. "Yours," was all you could manage in response, "yours. Yours. Yours."

Towering over you, Jake's gaze was so full of love that it was overflowing from his eyes in shimmering droplets as he leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours. "Safe with me— always," his words were an oath, and you knew he'd be true; there was no one in the world you trusted more than the man before you. "You're safe with Daddy, baby."

"D-Daddy," the word was so sweet as it tumbled from your lips, the simple act of speaking it into existence like the birth of a spring fawn, such a tender and sacred thing. Out in some abandoned field, it was just the two of you there to see it; maybe that's what made it so holy.

"Your daddy, sweetie. Yours, all yours," he returned the words to you as his thrusts began to pick up in pace. "Daddy'll take care of you—" he swore, the sweetness in his voice slowly getting swallowed up by starvation. He had hungered for this, for you, for his whole life. And here you finally were, and you were more than willing to let him feast, "—make you feel so good, s'that what you want, baby? Tell Daddy what you want."

His tender fingers fell down to search between where your two bodies met, stroking in broad circles over your fiery core of pleasure. Your voice came out begging, "Please... please..." You sounded so foolish; it was music to Jake's ears. "Want it... want you— please Daddy..."

You fell over the edge hand in hand, warmth overcoming the both of you as your booming heartbeats aligned, lips crashing together as you searched desperately for something— not breath, not air. Only each other.

It was a beautiful sight, body on trembling body as the two of you swallowed each other down, tears mixing in your mouths through scattered breaths and 'I love you's. Noses rubbing together, you kept your eyes shut as you wept against him. And to him, there you were; he had found you at last.

[violetsandshrikes]

Since sharing this post about a usful AI used to compile and graph research papers, I've realised I have a few other resources I can share with people!

Note: I haven't had a chance to use every single one of these. A group of post-grad students has been slowly compiling an online list, and these are some I've picked out that are free (or should be free and also have paid versions). However, other students using them have all verified them as safe.

Inciteful (Using Citations to Explore Academic Literature | Inciteful.xyz) – similar to connectedpapers + researchrabbit. Also allows you to connect two papers and see how they are linked. Currently free.

Spinbot (Spinbot - Article Spinning, Text Rewriting, Content Creation Tool.) – article spinner + paraphraser. Useful for difficult articles/papers. Currently free (ad version).

Elicit (Elicit: The AI Research Assistant)  – AI research assistant, creates workflow. Mainly for lit reviews. Finds relevant papers, summarises + analyses them, finds criticism of them. Free (?)

Natural Reader (AI Voices - NaturalReader Home (naturalreaders.com)) – text to speech. Native speakers. Usually pretty reliable, grain of salt. Free + paid versions.

Otter AI (Otter.ai - Voice Meeting Notes & Real-time Transcription) – takes notes and transcribes video calls. Pretty accurate. Warn people Otter is entering call or it is terrifying. Free + paid versions.

Paper Panda (🐼 PaperPanda — Access millions of research papers in one click) – get research papers free. Chrome extension. Free.

Docsity (About us - Docsity Corporate) – get documents from university students globally. Useful for notes.

Desmos (Desmos | Let's learn together.) – online free graphing calculator. Free (?)

Core (CORE – Aggregating the world’s open access research papers) – open access research paper aggregation.

Writefull (Writefull X: AI applied to academic writing) – Academic AI. Paraphrasing, title generator, abstract generator, apparently ChatGPT detector now. Free.

Photopea (Photopea | Online Photo Editor) – Photoshop copy but run free and online. Same tools. Free.

Draw IO (Flowchart Maker & Online Diagram Software) – Flowchart/diagram maker. Free + paid versions.

Weava (Weava Highlighter - Free Research Tool for PDFs & Webpages (weavatools.com)) – Highlight + annotate webpages and pdfs. Free + paid versions.

Unsplash (Beautiful Free Images & Pictures | Unsplash) – free to use images.

Storyset (Storyset | Customize, animate and download illustration for free) – open source illustrations. Free.

Undraw (unDraw - Open source illustrations for any idea) – open source illustrations. Free.

8mb Video (8mb.video: online compressor FREE) – video compression (to under 8mb). Free.

Just Beam It (JustBeamIt - file transfer made easy) – basically airdrop files quickly and easily between devices. Free.

Jimpl (Online photo metadata and EXIF data viewer | Jimpl) – upload photos to see metadata. Can also remove metadata from images to obscure sensitive information. Free.

TL Draw (tldraw) – web drawing application. Free.

Have I Been Pwned (Have I Been Pwned: Check if your email has been compromised in a data breach) – lets you know if information has been taken in a data breach. If so, change passwords. Free.

If you guys have any feedback about these sites (good or bad), feel free to add on in reblogs or flick me a message and I can add! Same thing with any broken links or additions.

[millipede-menace]

🏺 Leosagi pottery au 🏺

The brain worms are worming but it’s something I actually know a thing or two about so now I yap! :U

🪱 Ok ok, hear me out . . .

Au Summary: Leo’s doing some hot girl shit and by that I mean being depressed and locking himself in his room, rotting away.

Mikey convinces Leo to take a pottery class with him & drags his ass along

Mikey’s great at it (obvi) but Leo’s having trouble and hates it

The instructor comes by and helps him out (aka Miyamoto Usagi) and pulls a “Ghost” (he actually doesn’t, he just helps him center clay, but Leo is convinced “it was for sure a Ghost moment” lol) (also hence the shitty doodle I posted earlier)

And now that this bitch has a hot instructor, he’s all excited to get out of his room and do pottery

I mean he’s still depressed but now he’s trying to rizz up his instructor lol

Pottery Talk: Im having loads of fun thinking about Usagi’s pottery style

Let me explain-💅

The first brain-worm thought, “What if I modeled Usagi off of Shoji Hamada” (aka one of my favorite potters) 🪱

It sooo preeetttty 😫 The calligraphy-like brush strokes, the colors, the simplicity and the mingei movement, it all just SCREAMS Usagi!!

A little more context: Shoji Hamada was THE guy in the Mingei (folk-art) movement which emphasized using local resources! Dude was making beautiful work using the clay in the dirt. No fancy shmancy imported porcelain or complicated designs with intricate gold enamel. The connection/appreciation of nature and spirituality. The rejection of cheap mass-produced/industrialized ceramics, and embracing the imperfections of each individual piece, knowing it was carefully crafted by some unknown craftsman with years of experience and skill (not saying Shoji Hamada was unknown, but he advocated & supported unknown artists) It all just reminds me so much of Usagi.

I wanted to explore more styles, like abstract/sculptural and what-not, but I think Usagi would be a functional potter. 100% (lowkey was thinking of making Leo have a more sculptural/abstract/handbuilding/intuition kind of style to contrast with Usagi but idk yet)

I’m still looking at different artists and their styles

(Btw, this would all take place in the rottmnt universe but it would be really interesting if it took place in the Edo period. Japan has such a rich history with pottery! Then I’d get to use Edo period type pottery which is also super fun, hmmmm . . .)

The brainworms really need to let me sleep . . . 🪱

[natalchartnurtures]

Mercury isn't THE planet of the mind, fight me.

Let me slap some hard facts on the table right now – Mercury isn't the end-all-be-all planet of the mind. Sure, it's got its hands in the communication and thinking cookie jar, but our beautiful minds are way more intricate than that. Sit back while I serve up my theory to all you sweethearts. Let's take a REAL astrological look at our minds, and trust me, it's gonna be a tad bit wild. SO—

First up, we've got the Sun. It takes center stage in our mental circus, representing the ego and the conscious part of our minds. It's like the captain of the ship, steering us through the sea of self-identity.

Now, enter the Moon – the emotional maestro. It's the maestro that conducts the symphony of our feelings, intuition, and the mysterious world of the subconscious. Plus, it might just hold the key to how our minds kick back and soak in self-care and nurture AND how our minds extend nurturing as well.

Mercury, our familiar talkative buddy on crack, is indeed the planet of communication, intellect, and all things brainy. Popular opinion, right? Verbal acrobatics, learning curves, and information processing – Mercury's got it covered.

Venus, the love goddess, usually gets all the attention for matters of the heart. But surprise, surprise – it's also throwing a killer soirée for the mind. Think pleasures of the mind, artistic flair, and an appreciation for all things beautiful up in there.

Mars, the warrior himself, brings the heat to our mental battlefield. It's the driving force behind our desires, fueling ambitions, goals, and a dash of healthy competitiveness. Having this insight gets us closer to understanding how to conquer our mental mountains or demons while we're at it :p

Jupiter, the wise old sage, expands our mental horizons. Growth, wisdom, and a sprinkle of philosophical pondering – that's Jupiter's gift to our minds. It represents our minds' more abstract tendencies.

Saturn, the taskmaster, brings structure and discipline to the mental party. Lessons, challenges, and the slow dance of developing a mature and organized mindset – thanks, Daddy Saturn, for keeping us in check tehe T-T

Uranus, the rebel with a cause, is the origin for innovation and originality in our minds. It's all about breaking free from the mental chains, embracing unconventional thinking, if it suits your style, and giving tradition the finger, wink wink, ahem, in the name of the greater good, of course.

Neptune, the dreamweaver, is all about the realms of dreams, imagination, and intuition. It's the mind's connection to the divine and the mind's exploration into creativity, spirituality, and a deeper dive into the subconscious – the mystical side of our subconscious rather than our emotional patterns and memories as represented by the Moon.

Last but not least, Pluto – the transformer. The dude represents profound changes, self-discovery, and the uncovering of hidden corners in the psyche. Say hello to the ultimate mind makeover!

So, there you have it – a TRUE map to our minds, each planet brings its own flavor to the delicious feast we had cooking here.

Looking at all your placements would give you a more accurate description of your mind works as a whole. As an enitity- which it is.

Our minds are like the universe itself – vast, complex, and endlessly fascinating.

Have a good week people and keep getting bamboozled by the skies :]

[tolkien-feels]

Here is something I've been thinking a lot about lately wrt to Nerdanel, feat a little bit of Feanor. And Gandalf and Saruman.

(More headcanon than meta tbh but I think if I tried I could make A Case for this being a possible, if not conclusive, reading)

Oh fyi this post is a mess but I've been trying to make it more logical for weeks now and my brain isn't cooperating so here it is in all its messy glory

Let me share a famous quote but highlight what I want to talk about

While still in early youth Fëanor wedded Nerdanel, a maiden of the Noldor; at which many wondered, for she was not among the fairest of her people. But she was strong, and free of mind, and filled with the desire of knowledge. In her youth she loved to wander far from the dwellings of the Noldor, either beside the long shores of the Sea or in the hills; and thus she and Fëanor had met and were companions in many journeys. Her father, Mahtan, was a great smith, and among those of the Noldor most dear to the heart of Aulë. Of Mahtan Nerdanel learned much of crafts that women of the Noldor seldom used: the making of things of metal and stone. She made images, some of the Valar in their forms visible, and many others of men and women of the Eldar, and these were so like that their friends, if they knew not her art, would speak to them; but many things she wrought also of her own thought in shapes strong and strange but beautiful.

So much is made of that first sentence, of Nerdanel not being considered beautiful enough for Feanor, but lately I have been Considering headcanoning this being the polite version of what the Noldor truly think about Nerdanel - that she's weird. Not quirky, not creative, just straight up off-puttingly strange.

Nerdanel strikes me in this paragraph as being profoundly restless of mind. She wants to know, she wants to explore, she won't be confined by the physical limits of the territory of the Noldor nor by the societal limits of gender. Insofar as that shows independence and curiosity, I don't think the Noldor would find any of this negative, or at least not extraordinarily so.... but we are shown a glimpse of Nerdanel's restless mind in this paragraph: the (abstract?) sculptures she makes are beautiful but strong and strange.

Even though apparently her ability to make realistic sculptures is outstanding, Nerdanel seems to be drawn towards expressing things that don't exist in the world, and these seem to be implied to be slightly unsettling? I mean, the Noldor are the Noldor. How weird does your artwork need to be for it to be labeled as strange? Especially strange in opposition to beautiful. Not strange as in awkwardly done. Strange as in "You clearly know what you're doing but also wtf is this sculpture?" It feels very... Modern art? It's cool. Not really the point of the post but cool.

Anyway, Nerdanel has chosen a craft unusual for her gender and then proceeded to apparently try to reach for something beyond the grasp of even the Noldor. You know when Yavanna brings up the ents and Manwe is like "Okay... That's. Weird. In the Song, but weird." and has to take a moment to understand the creation she's being called to do? That's the vibe I get from Nerdanel's sculptures

And then it's like... Of course she and Feanor are a match. Who else could be more restless? I bet Feanor looked at her strange sculptures and was immediately interested. They are both reaching towards some unknown thing they can't find in Valinor, and Nerdanel may or may not be attempting to describe this longing in physical form with her sculptures

I think in a way, Feanor and Nerdanel sharing a love of crafts and exploration is almost... set dressing for their romance. The thing actually pulling them together is that they are looking at the world around them and saying "Okay, but what else is there? This is not enough for me, I want more than this, I need to know more than this, I need to experience more than this, I need to create more than this"

The question is, of course, where that leads. Unstoppable quest for knowledge and "what else is out there?" - especially when coupled with a subcrearive drive and EXTRA especially when coupled with separating oneself from society - has always been a red flag in Tolkien, starting from Melkor. Hell, even Gollum fits this pattern. I'm not saying that's a worldview I personally subscribe to (I. Don't.) but it seems to be a clear fact of Arda metaphysics. Curiosity + creativity + self-isolation tends to = corruption.

So - is this what makes Nerdanel "the Wise"? Is she a woman who was tempted in every way every villain has ever been tempted, but she resisted and never fell?

Because I can only think of one other hero character who has all of the following: hunger for knowledge, a marked desire for solitude, a strong tendency to be considered Off-puttingly Weird by their peers, a penchant for loving subcreation, possibly immunity from temptation via wanting to understand rather than master the world:

Gandalf.

Nerdanel Istarnie has parallels to Istar extraordinaire Gandalf

Hell, Gandalf is even a fan of Feanor!

And like, that completely changes my read on Nerdanel's character. Because then, narratively speaking, she's the Gandalf to Feanor's Saruman. She is Feanor as Feanor should have been.

Which is like. Ten thousand levels of juicy. Like, you could conceivably structure an entire storyline around Nerdanel staying true to her mission as a Noldorin subcreator while Feanor goes astray. (What is that mission? Debatable. Suit yourself.)

And then, more than just an emotional scene, Nerdanel pleading with Feanor to not take away all her sons from her becomes the ultimate test of her commitment - can she stick to what she thinks is the right thing even if it costs her the loss of her beloved children, possibly the dearest of all her creations, so to speak?

Like, I could go on, but I just. Nerdanel as Feanor who never fell. Nerdanel as mentor and cheerleader, with varying levels of success. Nerdanel as Gandalf!!!!!!! I just love it so much, and I predict I'll be thinking about this for many years going forward

[thisworldisablackhole]

The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin - 4.2/5

I can hardly describe how much of a pleasure this was to read this after spending almost 5 months going through the Hyperion and Endymion duologies. Simmons' is good at worldbuilding and crafting grand, multifaceted narratives, but his actual writing is vanilla as hell and such a slog to push through sometimes. Ursula K. Le Guin on the other hand writes such poetic and beautiful prose that every paragraph feels like a paint stroke. Reminds me more of the visceral Gibson except Le Guin is much softer with her abstractions.

Really really loved the world and concept of society that Le Guin has created here. Despite being intentionally soft on the actual sci fi elements, Winter is one of the most believable "alien" societies I've read about. I enjoyed the way in which Le Guin plops the reader right down in the middle of this world and lets it's culture and geography unfurl slowly as you read. It's another refreshing technique to see after all of Simmons’ boring frontloaded info dumps. The people of this planet are also hard not to love. Even when they are actively working against our protagonist(s), there is something equally perplexing and endearing about their behavior.

I think I enjoyed the first two thirds of this book a bit more than the last. Without giving away any spoilers, the pace shifts heavily near the end. It goes from an exciting story of shady political intrigue and societal exploration into a really long travel phase that takes up most of the last third, and then the ending is just kind of sad and abrupt, but also hopeful. I'm not complaining though, I loved the relationship between Estraven and Genly, and the whole thing was beautifully written. Ursula K. Le Guin could write about ice melting for 200 pages and it would read like a breeze. I feel like there's a lot of little nuances and reflections of real life that would benefit from multiple reads, so I'm definitely putting this in the "re-read asap" pile.

________

Going to read the Burning Chrome collection of short stories by Gibson now before jumping into Contact by Carl Sagan, which I'm super excited for :)

[19thperson]

19th's Next Fest Impressions - Day 7

Day 0/Day 1/ Day 2/Day 3/Day 4/Day 5/Day 6

Last day, and only day where I had zero other obligations. Lets go out with a bang.

Keylocker

In a grim cyberpunk future where music is banned, you're music. Therefore, you're banned

I wanted to like this game, but aside from the writing not landing with me, there was a key mechanical problem constantly getting in the way.

The game has a timed hits and timed defense system that's punishingly strict, and enemy damage is tuned under the assumption that you'll be getting at least partial dodges consistently. Which I wasn't. It was worse on the first try when I unknowingly chose a class that could only damage on counter.

This isn't usually a problem for me... until I realized a 2nd problem. One that's probably just restricted to the prologue since it's about escaping the anti-music jail

There's no music. Nothing to mentally time beats and inputs to.

I got frustrated and ended it early.

Tenebris Somnia

Horror game whose main claim of interest is that it's mixing retro pixel art with high definition live action footage. In demo this was presented by solving a series of puzzles, then it cut to live action to show the monster that appeared, then you run away from the monster. There is something interesting going on beneath this. It seems to be setting up a story specifically about film. You are playing as a girl who is checking up on her shitty ex, because she's had nonstop nightmares of him being killed by The Creatures and she needs to reality check herself.

Both you and the ex are severe film buffs, both worked together on a short film. When you arrive to his apartment, it is beaten to shit, broken film trophies, his film reels in the oven burning, the poster for his short film "Devourer" shattered. While it's not stated, I'm guessing that the monster that attacks us is from said film.

Shitty ex seems to have turned to the occult both due to dissatisfaction with how his film career is going and out of being torn up about you leaving.

There's roads for this to go some really interesting places. There's also roads for this to go pretentious places. But I still wanna see.

Simulacro

Greek art student goes out to a mysterious island recently uncovered by a massive lake's water level going down due to climate change. She's here to paint the nature. While there she discovers artifacts talking about "The true nature of reality," and at one point is overtaken by inspiration to draw the ruins she imagines would have been there in its heyday. The ruins then appear in real life.

There's a core problem with this game that feels really unfair to say considering it's a small Brazilian team's first game. It's a painting/photography game, and the main character is constantly talking about how beautiful her surroundings are. But they're writing a check that their rendering ability and art direction can't cash. I would accept the island looks kinda off if the game wasn't constantly trying to convince me otherwise. The two types of puzzles the game has in the demo are painting puzzles, find an angle where you get certain targets all in one frame, and artifact puzzles, arrange these broken pieces so that they're one again. The former is more interesting than the latter, but the system to recognize if something is "in the shot" is kinda finicky. The trailer shows more types so hopefully there's more variation in the final release. Most interesting thing about this game thematically is that it takes place in the 2080, and climate change has gotten bad bad bad. The game is selling itself as being a philosophical exploration, and ideally it seems like it's trying the difficult maneuver of "What's the point to these abstract questions when everything is dying?"

Boyscout - Patrick's Town

Your name is Patricio and not Patrick and you are a kid who likes helping people in your town. In the demo your day is spent getting ingredients and then delivering an apple pie to your grandma for her birthday. Then in the middle of the night a UFO crashes near the town. The pixel art ranges from competent to fantastic depending on the mode (although I do not like the artist's propensity for Usopp lips.) Music is really good. Aside from the combination of aliens and idyllic towns, this is where the homier mother influence feels really noticeable. Although that specific style is not really reflected in the trailer... Writing is… they need a 2nd pass on the translation. Sentences missing a lot of punctuation, an apple pie also being referred to as an apple cake interchangeably, awkward wording throughout. It's thankfully a text lite game, not as detrimental as a visual novel or RPG with the same problems, but still a very visible roadblock.

SoulQuest

2D DMC. 2DMC.

I will say this: they've gotten the combo game down. Chaining shit together feels good. If that was the only metric this was being judged by, the game would be exceeding all expectations.

but there are a few problems:

1) It is not just combat. There is platforming. Platforming where the hitbox of the platform seem slightly thinner than the sprite. And there's no coyote time. The game also likes to place spikes underneath you in these sections.

Did I mention checkpointing is frugal?

I'm not mad.

2) Unless I'm crazy/misreading things, your dodge roll doesn't have I-frames on startup, just during the middle of the roll. IT feels like I'm getting hit by things I shouldn't be hit by.

I'm not mad.

3) Say you got overconfident and chose hard mode, and want to change the difficulty:

turns out each difficulty is on a separate progression track so if you got to stage 3 and then decided "I've trapped myself in a bad situation" well guess what you gotta redo stages 1 and 2 again on normal to try stage 3 on normal.

I'm not mad.

Sky Oceans: Wings for Hire

I've heard people describe this as a successor to Skies of Arcadia. I've never played that so I can't really comment on how accurate that is Plot and tone wise its a typical JRPG. You start at an Idyllic home town that might as well be a stack of firewood prepped and ready to burn. You and your friends complete your coming of age ceremony to become Pilots. Oh no here comes The Empire Alliance burning everything to the ground because your dead dad and live mom know about the void century lost history. Try to escape but mom sacrifices self to save you. There doesn't seem to be any on foot combat, all air. While there's an interesting "advantage" system I was expecting more about positioning to be there, who is on whose tail. still, early JRPG battle systems are always kinda thin, so it'll probably get more complex later. Presentation wise, I kinda wish the models emoted a bit more instead of relying solely on the character portraits. The eyes and mouths are flat textures on the face so they could theoretically be swapped out contextually. Overall if you are JRPGpilled, this'll be to your taste, and if you aren't then this won't change your mind.

Boyhood's End

A very very very loose adaptation of Night on the Galactic Railroad, from the devs behind Needy Streamer Overdose.

In a scifi future where humanity is overseen by a massive AI program spanning the galaxy, ranking all humans and directing all activity, Giovanni Stylus is the lowest ranked, namely due to his father, who once attempted a hack said galaxy spanning AI system. He attempts to support his comatose mother by doing petty hacking jobs, such as hacking into security cameras to confirm infidelity. All while being bullied the shit out of.

When his health insurance is pulled, he takes a desperate job to infiltrate said AI system and shit goes wrong. But he is saved by Campanella, who may or may not have been the one who set the job in the first place. Now they are on the run.

Pixel art is very impressive, at least when it's on close up portraits. Also has a really nice fake PC interface for menus, alongside reading fake websites and chatlogs.

The hacking system was very simple "find password" that's basically just following story prompts, but I can see it having fun uses later.

It's now on my wishlist.

Heart of the Machine

Going from fighting the overlord AI to being the overlord AI. I am very bad at being the overlord AI.

I half remembered the trailer and thought this was going to be mostly branching story events and stat balancing. When I got to managing and customizing units I knew I was in unfamiliar territory.

There is something interesting in this basically being a stealth 4x, with a major factor being "how aware is the world of your machinations" and individual units having different security clearances and the like. But I couldn't figure out how to effectively utilize any of that before I felt like my time was spent going other demos. I've heard good things so I assume that 4x heads will like this.

The Operator

You play as an Operator in the not-FBI, who gives assistance to on-site agents from your computer. It's another fake-computer-terminal database mystery game, involving going through files and finding relevant information. Also aliens may or may not be involved.

Two major things of note so far:

1) Every one of these games handles their database a different way, trying to do some means of keeping the sprawl of info digestable. This one does so by just having a handful of files related to the case immediately sent to you, with the only outside help being a persons database and a car database to cross-check details, at least so far. Torn on this. On one hand it keeps things incredibly intuitive, on the other hand "pruning through fluff" feels like it should be part of the challenge.

2) Game is very intuitive on how to put in "answers" though. You're given a question and then once you figure something out you turn on answer mode and click the relevant text or image on the screen. No messing with a prompter or choosing a whole file or whatever.

Dungeons of Hinterberg

Modern fantasy setting where monster slaying and dungeoneering has become touristy sport, like mountaineering or skiing. You play as someone who is aiming to clear all 25 of the tourist town Hinterberg's dungeons.

Gameplay is split between previously mentioned dungeoneering, exploring areas and fighting monsters, and persona-ish town stuff, buying gear and making social links.

They are genuinely skilled at beautiful dungeon design. The one in the demo was a tribute to mario galaxy with a lot of circular land masses you run around. The actual hitting things… needs more impact. It does have bayonetta timeslow on perfect dodge though.

Only got one day of town stuff so I can't really pass too much judgement there.

I am worried about "how do you squeeze pathos out of this concept if all risk has been essentially gentrified in-setting" but there is a stinger at the end of "something is rotten in hinterberg"

Has promise but not top of the list.

[sophiepatztone]

Week 1: September 4th

I began with three topics:

the role of the artist in society

photography

context

Because 'context' is so abstract, I couldn't really figure out a way to explore it without going into a more specific type of context like written context... oral context... lack of context? It didn't really make sense, but it did merge well with photography, specifically my interest in subject, intentionality, and truth in photography. How does context guide our understanding of these things?

So I began trying to understand two topics. I brainstormed some intentions, but ultimately decided to let my research be open-ended so I wouldn't restrict myself to a specific idea too early in the process.

I want to…

Criticize the role of the artist in society? Why make art that people won’t understand? 

Criticize the lack of accessibility (understanding) of Contemporary art.

Speculate about the future of the artists’ role in society? 

Defend/ empower the artists’ role in society?

I want to…

Critique photography as an agent of truth? Of objective representation? 

Speculate about the future of photography as AI develops? 

Express… photography’s role in conceptualizing societal aesthetics 

Here is a summary of my research findings (follow the links to see my full research and sources):

The role of the artist in society

Societal (NARP (Non-Artistic Regular Person)) perceptions of Contemporary Art are negative... "it's hard to understand, doesn't make sense, looks like something anyone could've made... etc."

“Beautiful. If you read between the lines, you can clearly see this is meant to portray absolutely nothing.”

Considering Intention vs. Reception is super important. Take Richard Serra's Tilted Arc for example... people saw it as a huge obstruction, ugly, dangerous

Art education in K-12 schools is lacking material that covers modern and contemporary topics, which inevitably leads to a lack of understanding and criticism

Artists themselves see a "mass rejection" of Contemporary art. It can't be understood without explanation, therefore a normal person can't walk up to it and understand it without help of words.

"Art is no longer simply traditional paintings depicting certain people or places; it’s more fluid and less definable. It can't be boxed in. Anything that conveys emotion, alludes to an event, or evokes thought using visual elements can be considered art."

Contemporary art is about the process and the intentions.

Deskilling movement in art. Denial of the autographic mark, becoming about the subconscious.

I looked at public art in Hoboken, taking note of things I walk past every day and may not pay attention to, eg. mural on the parking garage on 2nd and Hudson, paintings on those boxes on the streets.

Hoboken public art categorized as honorary, tactile, community-based, referential, contemporary

Photography

Photography not only captures but influences what we think is aesthetic or significant. How do photographers curate the world through their perspective and how does this impact a viewer's perspective?

"They suggest that photography is not a mere recording of reality but a form of interpretation, where the photographer's vision and the viewer's perception play significant roles."

The denotative vs connotative meaning of a photograph

"What does photography do, today, if it can no longer testify directly to the state of things (except in exigent circumstances or mediated by time and space)?"

I went to the Met a few weeks ago and looked at the product photography exhibition... familiar products are "so altered by the camera as to constitute something entirely new"

"the nature of the medium in which works of art are made determines the proper ends of the fine arts" -Greenberg

I also looked at perspective and subversion of perspective, how we can psychologically interpret something as different than it actually is based on tricks of the camera.

With "photography" I am trying to focus more on theory to avoid thinking too much about form, but if you're still reading this let me know if I'm going in the wrong direction. During my reflection in class, I realized that my topics are beginning to dovetail into more specific subtopics, so this is what I will be looking into this week.

Intentionality (or lack thereof) in art

K-12 art education and how it influences public perception of art

The social responsibilities of artists

and

Photography's role in the production and exchange of commodities (sub-topic commodification)

Photography's influence on what is considered significant and aesthetic (or not)

Circulation of images

Photographic images and their intentions + receptions artistically and/ or commercially

[castlebyersafterdark]

i have a bit of an odd q and as your so insightful i wonder what you might have to say. i have been reading the fic you recommended on poly couples (the orgy one?) and its interesting so far cos i have never been into that but im open minded and the fic seems to explore these viewpoints so you can learn more about the culture. i havent finished it yet but i hope mike's jealousy gets explored more in a healthy way, like being able to talk about it, letting jealousy exist as an emotion but im hoping they dont turn it into a kink or something, where unchecked jealousy is allowed to roam free and hurt people.

so anyway it made me think of something youv'e said about how sex can be casual and fun but also sacred and deep if you want it to, and i think this has often been how i've butted heads with people about love and sex in my life (and probs on byler spicy tumblr too lbr). i recently found out im a HSP and apparently that means that sensitive people like me see sex as a more otherworldly, magical and kind of awe-inspiring thing instead of it just being a part of your day or a bit of fun lol. i always felt self-conscious and wished i could be more casual with sex and relationships, because its hard to explain this abstract thing of sex being elusive and inexplicable. i dont mean in a spiritual or religious way and i dont mean it shouldnt be casual either, but rather its sort of like souls... in that humans will never really understand it? like, emotionally. and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?

like, without art and beauty and the sublime and all this magic thats beyond like human comphrension, life is just a series of work eat sleep have sex laugh a bit see your friends see your kids grow bla bla. it's like, where's the magic? why is sex not this magical mystery for them?

but im also realising that some people may never see sex this way so they perhaps dont experience the super-magical highs that HSP people can feel (as well as the super low lows, so it's swings and roundabouts). like, apparently the neuron connections are just more intensified, so i can cry or get totally washed away in a song or a moment of beauty or whatever it may be, nuance, etc... its a hard thing to talk about because it sounds like it's offending non-HSP people but i suppose HSP people have been shunned in society (urban planning and society isnt made for them, too hectic and harsh and competitive etc), so i don't mind too much. there's great research on it that i'm trying to do more of to understand. but reading that fic has really made me think wow... sex is so different for everyone, that its kind of mad we all talk about it like its one experience we all share. i guess the physicality is but the emotional experience must be different for everyone. just like love perhaps! and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

Gosh I'm flattered you consider my ramblings insightful so thank you!! Thoughts under the cut due to my somewhat conflicted hypocrisy of wanting/not wanting to talk about my life hahaha:

First about that fic - which I absolutely adored. I think it really struck me less on the poly/exploratory group sex aspect of it (super engaging and interesting of course) and more on the portrayal of Will??? I toe the line between wanting to get too personal and staying zipped about me too much, but why not? Fuck it. Literally no where else do I really talk about myself online, I've always been hesitant for some reason. I feel comfortable here. Anyway, that story was a fascinating look into a lifestyle so unlike anything I've known and also not quite the details of Will's life but his personality in that fic was super relatable. His perception of himself and how others perceived him. The whole emotional arc of how he wished within that story of having Mike in high school and ooooh that just struck me in this ache I also know intrinsically. I recommend that fic so highly. Ughh. Anyway. Back to to the other things!

It's always interesting learning about different people's experiences and viewpoints on sex and what it means for them. And it can mean different things to the same person over a course of a lifetime. Like - I've never been poly, but there was a time in my life where sex was solely about fun and the physical feelings, you're young and on your own and freedom can be positive and negative. To each their own, I support everyone's journeys! And there's no correct way to have a specific lifestyle - you just learn what is/isn't for you. I'm glad I had a curious, exploratory phase. Learned a lot about myself. The good and the bad. I'll leave it there. Hook-up culture ended up not for me. So, maybe you're onto something. It's nothing I've honestly ever looked into (admittedly, I never knew this was a thing, HSP as you've described it as like a whole school of thought and personality type? I'm going to research at some point, I'm fascinated).

But, yes, I do subscribe to the mind that sex can just be a connection with a friend. It can be something you do with a friend because you're bored and that sounds interesting! Meaningless but still meaningful because you just... wanted to. Physical. Emotional. Both. Meant nothing. Meant everything. And I can understand the mindset I think you're describing, that it can be a heightened thing, something beyond what I've described. Maybe it has nothing to do with love per se what you're describing, but having found love and found it so sooo all-consuming actually? It can take on a whole other something that I'd never experienced before. And still, with that same person you have had these almost other-worldly experiences with - also with that same person sex can be none of that haha. Not cathartic, just physical. Casual. And all are valid!! So, there's insight into my mindset expanded? Where I understand what you're saying and that it really can be like what you're describing. Sex is just the most personal thing you can do, honestly. Hard to say why feelings and brains manifest in the way they do.

All of this to say for your big question: "and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?" I don't know!! I want to be cheesy and say my answer is love, and having found my person I want to go with that answer however corny, regardless of that aspect of a relationship - but that's just personal and not everyone finds that and it's still a worthwhile life lived without having that exact experience. I'm not sure anyone can answer this for anyone but themselves. It is very much of the soul. Hard to type out what your own is made of, I guess is my point.

and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

This has been such an interesting message because it's just really fascinating, this read of me, not to sound self-absorbed but I'm so intrigued about this personality stuff you've now beamed into my awareness. What you've described feels very familiar, maybe a little less intense and the sex stuff maybe doesn't correlate 1:1 but I am the kind of person who has always gotten a little too caught up in imagination and fantasy and fiction. And not that it's a bad thing, but it's definitely intense. I just get lost in my own head and into shows and books and movies. Always have. Maybe its a hyper sensitivity thing. I'm going to have to read up.