#LEMME BE YOUR BOOGER | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

intheholler · 9 months ago

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what do you think of all of the people being scared of appalachia? i don't know if this is recent or not, but currently i've been seeing a ton of shit online like "never go to the appalachian mountains, it's so dangerous", and i just don't understand it. my family's lived in appalachia for forever, and none of us have experienced anything paranormal or endangering to us. you're one of my favorite blogs on here and i'd just like to hear your thoughts on it

first off, it means a lot that i'm one of your favorite blogs and im really happy i can contribute something to your experience here :') thanks so much for being here <333

but ok so.

my thoughts on it are many. it's been bothering me a long time and i've been meaning to get it off my chest. this will be long and probably ranty, so it won't hurt my feelings if anyone skims lol

lemme preface this little diatribe by saying the obvious: folklore is an integral part of any culture. the mythos of a place/people is tied directly to their histories and unique experiences and struggles and they are enriching. this is true of appalachia too.

oral folk traditions especially are incredibly historically appalachian.

i mentioned in a post i made yesterday about murder ballads, how the purpose of these was to warn kids away from doing dumb shit and getting lost in the hollers--falling down cliffs n mineshafts and shit at night. gettin got by wildlife.

it spooked us safe. they served a purpose, and once you got old enough to realize they're as real as the tooth fairy, they just become enjoyable and nostalgic. because they're you're culture.

probably every mountain kid has stories about haints n boogers that were told to them by their grandparents, and they grow up to tell them to their own kids, and so on. some of it stuck with me because i grew up with the folklore.

by that i mean, i'm a whole 31 year old woman and i still avoid looking out a dark window at night cause it gives me the shivers. i still get spooked when i hear a big cat yowling in the woods. but the difference is i know there's not really haints out there crying--it's just a product of my childhood. ghost stories are fun.

the problem comes in when someone outside the culture gets their hands on appalachian oral folk traditions. then, it becomes a familiar problem: outsiders cherry picking appalachia and harming us with the mess they make rifling through it all.

it's all about the surface level and the visuals. they all love a good aesthetic blog, run by some local from out west or some shit who's never stepped foot here.

but as soon as the spooky photo filters come off and the real life marginalized person is left standing there just out of frame, we go back to being disgusting examples of what not to be. decrepit churches n buildings are aesthetic and quirky until they stop being on a pinterest board, and then they just become damning images of an impoverished region who deserves to be laughed at.

now, not to holler 'splain you--this is more for anyone not from here who might read this: it's been a systemic issue for decades; there were literal government campaigns to demonize us to the rest of the nation so they could garner support to cut into our mountains and exploit our labor and resources.

well, they were fuckin successful, and we have been falsely made out to be this homogenous nightmare of a place--"welfare exploiting" maga country who deserves everything we get, and nothing we don't.

by going so far as to take appalachian folklore that we tell each other and picking out the "aesthetic" stuff--the haints and general paranormal--they are pruning what they like from our culture--the safe things, like ghost stories--for their own aesthetic use.

but not only that, they are using it to demonize us… yet again.

'appalachia is scary. it's full of things that will kill you. don't look out the window at night cause a booger will get you.' only they don't call them boogers cause they ain't even from here. ask them what a haint is and they'll ask if u mispelled 'haunt.'

it gets even worse when you consider that so much of it has roots in native american culture, and how that continues to be exploited and misrepresented.

i'm not even innocent of that. a while back i had to check myself because i made a comment on here about ~spooky appalachia~ ignorant to the fact that what i was commenting on was actually a deeply important cultural and spiritual element to local indigenous tribes. my comments were harmful by my failure to educate myself and know better, thereby saying things carelessly.

my point being--i'm from the area. i should have known better.

when outsiders start saying the kind of shit they say about what they think they hear in the woods without even knowing where such an idea comes from, they're disrespecting a displaced, abused and exploited people, harming real cultures just for clicks without even knowing. that's on top of the damage they're doing to greater appalachia.

it's fuckin gross.

i think my favorite one i ever seen was this middle aged white lady going through her pristine mcmansion somewhere in suburbia, pulling the million curtains and locking the million doors, going "nighttime routine in appalachia!! 🤪🤪"

i could be wrong about this particular person--i didn't check their other tiktoks because im sick of them accounts and tired of giving them the benefit of the doubt--but it immediately came off as a transplant because:

1) mcmansion, 2) i dont know nobody here that locks their shit down like that (not locking up could even be argued as a part of my local culture, a reflection of our deep sense of community and trust in our neighbors).

and then the comments was all like "i don't know how you guys live there" and it actually broke my heart and pissed me off because even if--especially if--you're one of us, why the fuck are you harming us for likes? why are you turning people against us in a brand new way?

and to the transplants that do this--why?

you're not even from here, you moved here to this place you hate and made it worse just so your front porch would have a nice view, and are now benefiting socially from perpetuating bullshit about us?

you buy up all the land, land we often had no choice but to sell in the first place to survive instead of passing it on to our families, land we originally took from the indigenous peoples your content comes from.

you overdevelop it and turn it unrecognizable to make it more like the comfortable cities you come from. you gut a mountain town of its local businesses and cultures, you price people out of their homes...

...and then once you settle in all cozy like, you go tell everyone else how scary it is? how you can't trust the hills? like it's a cool paranormal bravery badge to wear? fuck off entirely.

so idk, in short my personal thoughts are: i personally enjoy a little myth as a treat, because the folklore is a part of the gothic, a part of our culture and a part of my childhood. i don't (intentionally) wield it as a weapon or use it as a pedestal to get the weird brand of attention that people like them are after.

and those who do this can get got by them haints for all i care.

#asks #appalachian culture #spooky appalachia #appalachian folklore #appalachian myth #appalachia #appalachian #txt

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devoureddreaa · 11 months ago

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diary of a mad black woman

i’m totally not projecting in this /hj. buuuuuut, i love love love the movie: diary of a mad black woman. probably the best piece of fiction tyler perry has created. but, i hope you enjooooy!!

cw: toji is an asshole (mb…), you’re gonna be kind of a bitch too if you squint, relationship issues, infidelity issues (on both sides), an established relationship coming to an end, you’re not getting back with him….. (sorry not sorry), uhh y/n is black woman coded (hii ting at the title). lemme know if i forgot anything !!!!

five long, draining years.

five years ago..you married toji right after you two graduated. don’t worry, your clan didn’t sell you. marrying toji is what you wanted to do. only god knew how bad of a decision you were

toji fushiguro, had his owns dreams and aspirations. ones that most possibly didn’t involve you whatsoever, but you forced yourself into them. the first year was just fine, it was like you were laying on cloud nine.

that was until you were pushed off that cloud.

he moved you away from your home. he wanted to “forget about the past” he said, and leave everything behind. and that included your own family..you didn’t know how long it had been since you last heard their voices. now you were isolated, and that only made things worse cause toji knew what sort of power he had over you now.

you did anything in your power to stay in his vision. whether that was dealing with his manipulative behavior, or even his infidelity..you sticked around.

cause you loved him??

or cause you didn’t have anyone else to go to?

weird, cause then you got kicked out of your own home and he got a divorce. he packed all your shit in a truck and replaced you for some hooker. bet enough booger sugar and lube got her to stay. you drove that truck back over to your grandmothers house…who almost shot you since it was the middle of the night. you got over it after a few months. got a job, made friends, reconnected with family..even your mother, and maybe even found some newfound love.

that’s until toji got injured and he was temporarily paralyzed. the hooker he wanted so badly wanted to leave him for dead, but you..were still legally his wife. so you made the last call.

to keep him alive.

as you sat there, thinking about picking up the pieces of what used to be your life..you realized something. every room in this place that you used to call home held a painful memory for you. even though toji’s suffering…something in you wants him to suffer even more. few months in a divorce can take a person through just as many emotions as five years in a marriage. oh, and you’re starting to feel all of them at once.

but the one that is clear…is rage.

now here you were, in your old home, in the office looking for old bill files for him. while he sat in his wheelchair…quietly.

shuffling through the stake of papers, you started to shake your head. “i don’t see it..”

toji’s head perked up, “you don’t see it?” he repeated, in somewhat of a mocking tone..

“no.”

he scoffed, “you really are good for nothing.” here he goes again. “find my bank statement and get the accountant on the phone.”

you looked up from the stack of papers and looked up at him. into those dead cold eyes, those eyes that used to give you so much love..but now…they just give you a whole lotta hurt.

“then call somebody, anybody and you can leave.” toji motioned down to the wheelchair he was sitting it. “this, is not gonna beat me.”

“oh really?” you’re tone was cold, ice cold. you were watching a grown man, that was fully capable of finding his own bank statements, throw a fit cause you couldn’t find it.

his legs were paralyzed, not his fucking arms.

“yea, and whatchu staring at?”

“you get stabbed in the spine, and you’re still the same.”

“i am who i am, and im gonna die that way. toots.” toji gave you a dirty, damn near disgusting look as he looked you up and down. “i don’t even know why you’re here, i’m not givin’ you shit. matter fact, where are my kids?”

“you done, toji?”

“yknow what bitch, just get out.”

you could feel your jaw clenched up when he said that.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, “i ask you to do one simple thing, and you can even do that after five— get out!”

you dropped the papers that were in your hands, you got up from the rather comfortable leather seat. grabbed your things from off the desk and proceeded to take your exit back home quietly.

but then you stopped.

who the hell is he? the man who hasn’t dont anything but hurt you. and now…you were about to let him keep doing exactly that? keep letting him control you like some toy. nah…that ain’t gon slide. before you could even think about it, your arm swung forward then swung back..the back of your hand connecting with toji’s face.

you turned yourself back around and leaned down to face him, placing your hands on the arm rest of the wheelchair..practically caging him in.

“let me explain something to you.” your tone of voice was sick, nasty. it was damn near like you were spitting pure vemon. “old y/n..is gone. and you will not talk to me like that.”

“now i came here..to help you. but now, i’m here to get even.”

“y/n, you—”

“shut up!” your yell echoed through the quiet home, the rain outside just barely being able to heard over it.

“you want your whore..” you walked over and grabbed the picture of toji and his little hooker..that was framed in a pretty little frame. “and your damn kids?”

you raised your arms up and threw the picture onto the ground, shattering the frame. “do you see what you left me for?!” you bend down and quickly picked up the picture, shoving it in toji’s face.

“this..is what you left me for!”

you started to rip the picture to shreds right in front of him, letting the loose parts fall to the floor. “she didn’t give a damn ‘bout you toji, she told them to let you die.!”

you walked back over by the desk, using your arms to sweep the top of it clean..everything falling on the floor, some of it even breaking.

“and yknow what’s funny? hm?” a condescending smile grew on your face. “i fucking gave you life boy, even though you took it from me.”

you’ve never seen toji so quiet and still before for how long you’ve known, but oh, that didn’t mean you were about to let up. you grabbed a play bat that was sitting on the floor..

“ya kids..your boys.” you swung the plastic bat and hit toji in the head. “i wanted children toji! and had you not been a public sex-stop, we would have them!”

you backed away and anger started to consume you. it showed in your face, your body movement, even in the way your heart was racing. you didn’t know if this felt good or not..

“got me all stressed out, my hair fallin’ out, my weight up ‘n down, can’t keep anything down! two miscarriages! you took life from me, and you never even said ‘i’m sorry’..”

was that it? the end of your rant.

hell nah, you walked out of that office. and you let toji sit there alone for a few days. when you can back it smelt rancid.

“god..” you groaned and covered your nose. walking up behind him. “ya smell like shit.”

you grabbed the handle bars and started to walk, then you started to run towards the bathroom.

“y/n. hell are doing?” toji asked, a bit afraid (that’s a new one.)

you ignored his concerns, barging through the bathroom doors to reveal a tub filled with water and a little bit of bubbles.

“y/n, stop—!”

the wheelchair hit the edge and toji was flipped over into the water. you pushed the wheelchair back and watched him, in silence for a bit.

“bathe him, feed him, clothe him..they say.” you say on the edge of the bathtub just watching him. “what bout me, huh? and jesus, stop lookin’ like an idiot.”

you begin to light a cigarette while toji just laid in the slightly cold water. “you try and..kick me out of our house, and keep me away from our money? hell nah. fuck nah, at that.”

you looked back over to see that toji’s head was started to submerge under the water. you quickly got up, dropped your cigarette in the water, and practically dragged toji back up to the surface.

“remember toji, i was there..when all you had was me.”

you stepped out of the tub and left him there.

later, you both sat at the oddly long dinner table. you on one side, and toji on the other. weird thing was you had a plate with a salad on it, and toji? he didn’t have a thing in front of him.

meanwhile, you were eating like it was the best salad you had ever had.

suddenly, toji had..started to cry? “y/n..”

your eyes perked up, “awe, you hungry?”

maybe he was. but who fucking cared? “hm..maybe you should go into the kitchen and get yourself something to eat then hm?” the smile on your face was brutal

“christina..” toji quietly cried out.

you looked over your shoulder, confused. “christina?!” you looked back over at the pitiful man in front of you..trying to hold back to boiling laughter. “christina’s gone…”

you smiled wildly, “your little tramp didn’t have any money to her so she left.” looking back down at your plate using your fork to pick up for more food. “just like your slut.”

“she packed all her shit, and some of yours toji fushiguro..and went on her merry way.” you started to laugh. “come to think of it..she cleaned out your bank account. all of it!”

“oh, sweetheart, you tried to keep from me? and she ended up taking it all..huh?!” you started to laugh even harder, throwing your head back and slamming your fist on to the table.

this was even better then therapy.

“toji..you are like soooo many men.” you paused to get a good look at him. ��you’d rather lay with dogs then make it work with a women.”

“you’re a bitch ass, toji..a coward.”

you forcefully pushed your plate of food, sending it flying across the table towards toji. it ended up landing on his lap and some fell onto the floor. but you sure as hell weren’t gonna pick it up, you got up and went upstairs to go to sleep.

toji ended up getting better, and you let all your anger out on him..later forgiving him. you took that divorce as a blessing, the thing you used to see as curse. he still loved you, but you didn’t love him the same. you didn’t want to be back with him. pain can hurt someone, but it won’t change anybody; and toji is a perfect example of that.

but you? oh you knew better. and anyone that would cross you in the future would learn that.

signed,

a mad black woman.

did it well…and did it good. PLSASE WATXH HIS MOVIE, I LOVE IT!!! anywho coming with the content..smash that like button for more bangers!!! /lhj but, hope you enjoyed!! love you baaaaaaai (if you saw any typos..not you didn’t)

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lheslie · 2 years ago

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Taehoon with an S/O who has a kid

He never thought he'd fall for someone who has a kid

He doesn't like babysitting that's for sure. He thinks kids are disgusting eating boogers and snots.

But your kid is well behaved. Sometimes too energetic but is very clean.

"I make sure they're always clean, so they won't get sick." You tell him while feeding the kid some food

The kid in question was just looking at Taehoon.

This kid was basically planned by you and your ex-lover m, but your ex-lover just decided he wasn't ready and left you, and the kid behind.

Even though your lover had left. You still studied in to finish school.

Your kid was shy, hiding behind you while looking at Taehoon and Taehoon just stares back at him like there was a staring contest.

But one day you had something important to go to and no one was going to watch your kid so you asked Taehoon if it was alright for him to watch them.

Taehoon didn't like the idea but he had no choice since you were practically begging him.

The kid was looking at him staring. "What do ya want?" he asked the kid and the kid shrugged.

"Then just sit there and be quiet." He said as he started to exercise and the kid was just staring at him but was now amazed.

The kid started to imitate him. Taehoon noticed "Ya like that?" he asked at the kid nodded.

He walked some the storage room and took out some Dobok and gave it to him.

"Lemme teach ya Taekwondo" He said as the kid took the clothes.

"Uhm, I don't know how to wear these." Your kid said as Taehoon sighs and helps the kid change into clothes and even gave him a white belt.

The kid was jumping in joy ready to learn Taekwondo as Taehoon explained the origin of Taekwondo.

Later you came back to take your kid home to see them training with Taehoon.

You thought it was adorable. You were just watching them as your child noticed you and ran to you.

"Took ya long enough. The kid started imitating me when I practiced so I taught them some. You practically owe me some fees."

You giggled "How much?"

"Nah, just kidding."

You were happy they started bonding.

Taehoon still wasn't used being with a kid but he learned to adapt.

He noticed your kid was matured for their age. The kid was understanding but still sometimes naughty.

He stopped cussing, smoking and drinking beer whenever the kid was around.

He even started to buy the kid some gifts.

If the kids sometimes a bit naughty he'd kick them. Not too hard tho.

Your kid basically learned some things from Taehoon.

The kid basically bacame Taehoon Jr. You were actually shocked when your kid started to cuss. And you got mad about it.

Your kid is understanding and would not cuss inside the household. They would only cuss whenever they're outside beating the shit out of people.

Taehoon would basically be proud of them. And one time they accidentally called Taehoon dad and Taehoon smiled.

Even though your kid was a Taehoon Jr. They were still respectful and kind it's a good thing you were their parent.

He would also use the kid as dumbells and your kid is enjoying it.

He almost can't wait to see Taehoon everyday.

"Stop being loud kid."

"Shut yer trap"

"Slow down ya might trip again"

"Yer too annoying"

"If you got lost, I won't be finding you."

"No, means no." will buy the kid what they want in the end.

He can't resist the kid.

He would mostly Teach the kid to live how ever they want.

"Ya wanna do what? Yea sure. Just don't die. I don't got no money for yer burial expenses."

If the kid got into fights. Taehoon would only care if the kid won.

"Ya should've crippled them" Taehoon said to your kid while he was applying ointments."

"Taehoon..." You sigh.

"What? You shouldn't give em any chances of attacking again."

"Look, I'm proud that they stood up for themselves but crippling them would mean Jail and I don't want them to go to Jail" You tell Taehoon.

"Relax, we can bail em." Taehoon said as you just looked at him wide eyed.

"Really?"

#how to fight #htf #viral hit #how to fight seong taehoon #how to fight taehoon #how to fight taehoon x reader #how to fight x reader #htf taehoon #viral hit taehoon #viral hit x reader #taehoon x reader #seong taehoon

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dontworrysunflower · 4 years ago

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requests are closed

just like most of the world i’ve been obsessed with olivia rodrigos album SOUR so obviously i’m gonna do something with it enjoy (it’s not olivia cuz she’s still young but it’s one of her songs but lmk if you want one with her?)

* also pretend the lyric is green guilty eyes and not brown k cool

•••

Liked by annetwist, yourbff and 2,284,791 others

yourinstagram green guilty eyes and little white lies

View all 78,194 comments

y/nfan1 okay so it’s obvious who it’s about

y/nfan2 are we crying over a yt man?

↳ yourinstagram unfortunately

harryfan1 only seven words but so many references

y/nfan3 alexa play little white lies by one direction

y/nfan4 i’m intrigued

Liked by mitchrowland, jefezoff and 3,294,108 others

harrystyles SNL take two. x

View all 82,193 comments

harryfan1 you seem like you were the kid that would eat his boogers

y/nfan1 y/n’s writing a song about you how do you feel 🎤

harryfan2 the hair 🥵

harryfan3 we need new music sir

y/nfan2 can’t believe y/n is writing a song about him

harryfan4 where’s the music at man?

Liked by yourbff, pillowpersonpp and 3,913,582 others

yourinstagram i kept quiet so i could keep you

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y/nfan1 OH FUCK THAT ONE HURT

y/nfan2 damn girl what did he do to you?

harryfan1 we haven’t even heard the song and i’m already crying

y/nfan3 🥲

y/nfan4 i already resonate with the song sm

Liked by jefezoff, herfriend, 89,135 others

harrysgf we’re grown

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harryfan1 don’t think we’re on your side we don’t like you either

harryfan2 you’re obviously not since you’re posting this 👍

y/nfan1 i’m sorry but since when did harry get a dump truck ?;?;;?

harryfan3 ngl he do look good even tho you can’t see his face

y/nfan2 ma’am don’t even try ✋

harryfan2 hahahhaahaha this was so funny i forgot to laugh 😐

Liked by zendaya, annetwist and 6,194,592 others

yourinstagram you gave me your word

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y/nfan1 ok so if you were unsure if this was about harry…how about now?

harryfan1 lemme go cry in a corner brb

y/nfan2 COU COU

y/nfan3 am i gonna cry???

harryfan2 you’re so petty…i love it

zendaya y’all ain’t ready for this song

Liked by harrystyles, yourbff and 6,824,913 others

yourinstagram “traitor” out now 💜

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y/nfan1 i have not left my room since this song came out

y/nfan2 i cant stop crying

harryfan1 i have never felt so much heartbreak and it wasn’t even my relationship

y/nfan3 i will never recover

y/nfan4 breakup album???

↳ yourinstagram soon

•••

i cannot express how much i love this album i listen to it nonstop. lmk what you think and pls reblog!! <3

taglist:

@chillingonlife @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @letsgoparty-ah-ah-ah-yeah @tom-hollands-wife @acciosiriusblack

#reblogs are appreciated #harry styles #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fluff #harry edward styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurb #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles concepts #my writing #harry styles au #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles smut

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lumpiya · 3 years ago

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shaw pack as adventure time quotes B)

this is also my first time posting on tumblr and i’m still learning how to use it soooooo don’t kill me pls-

—————

darlin: i’m also exhausted emotionally…

sam:

darlin: wait no… i mean- i mean physically

—————

david: no, they’re clones

angel: … what are clones?

david: sigh agroupoforganismsorcellsthatareproducedasexuallyfromoneancestororstocktowhichtheyaregeneticallyidentical

angel: … how did that happen

david: it’s a long story

angel: *smiles* i love long stories

david, done with their shit: GAA

—————

(headcanon that sweetheart hates kids)

sweetheart: hey kids! *picks one up and drop kicks it*

—————

(babe and sweetheart snuck into angel and david’s room to find something)

*door slowly opening*

sweetheart: TURN INVISIBLE *cloaks*

babe: i c a n t

sweetheart: well hide then!!

babe: uh- hide wherrrrrrrreeee

angel: i know someone’s in here… i heard someone say where

babe: *paniks and grabs an orange and peels it*

*door opens all the way*

angel: no sign of the intruder-

*babe squeezes orange juice in angel’s eyes*

angel: MY EYES-

—————

*milo and ash breaks down door after a 911 text from babe and sweetheart*

ash: MATES YOU’RE FREE!!

*babe and sweetheart just playing a board game*

babe: :o they broke the door. the door is broken now

sweetheart: FIX THE DOORRRRRRR

*ash and milo walk in awkwardly*

milo: fix the door?? what??? what? fix the door?! fix what- what’s going on here?? fix the door ash?? what’s going on?? fix the door

—————

*ash and milo spying on david and angels first date with binoculars*

milo: here he comes! they’re talking

ash: lemme see *grabs binoculars from milo* i can read their lips

ash:

“angel with a high voice”: hey shorty you should pick your boogers and then fart.

“david with a low voice”: you look kinda like a big pink baguette

*milo snatches binoculars*

milo: GET SERIOUS ASH

—————

ash: it’s just a prank man, for laughs

david: pranks… for laughs… yes of course… just a harmless prank… for laughs… aaaaaa… hAhHahHahaHahahahHahahhHahHhahhHahHha

ash: hahahahahaha

david immediately stops laughing: 12 years suspen-

—————

milo looking for sweetheart: sweetheart…. sweetheart-

sweetheart uncloaks and jumps on his back: SWEETHEART CHOP *chops his head with their hand* if this was a real attack, you’d be dead

—————

angel: SWEETHEART AND BABE IF YOU EVER COME TO THIS APARTMENT AGAIN ILL HAVE YOU DOUBLE DIPPED IN GOLDDDDD…. unless i get a written apology

—————

david: if you only knew what monstrosities that lurk around every corner-

ash who’s in the back seat: *throws rock at david* DARK ARTS

david: RRRRRRRR

ash, milo, and darlin: hehehehehehehehe

david: STOP LAUGHING. YOU’RE STRESSING ME OUT.

*crashes front of the car into a wall*

david: *immediately runs out* SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE DARK ARTS *kicks back of car twice* ILL GET YOU DARK ONE. YOU RECKED DAVID SHAW’S MINI VAN *stumbles back into the van* RRRRRR

—————

*ash accidentally dropped a sandwich that he was extremely proud of*

ash who’s back in the kitchen: ehhhh okay let’s do this. i can make another awesome sandwich! creation realm, inspire me once again!

*looks out window at chimes*

*chimes break and fall*

ash: ō_ō okay

—————

sam: all these people are so terrified! all scared of their own shadows

darlin: we can rule over them! like gods! *queue deep voice and rubbing hands together* angry gods

—————

(angel trying to get sweetheart to like kids)

sweetheart: uhhh… uhh… goo.. goo gooo…

*baby smiles*

sweetheart: mmmmm goo- goo goo- ahhhhhh

*baby’s smile fade*

sweetheart: *aggressively pats it* duh- duh- bluhhhh- do- du-

*pats turn into balls of fist*

sweetheart: blululululululullululululul *stops* MMMMMMMMMM PUT YOU IN MY OVEN *aggressively pushes it off their lap and gets up and looks at angel* ITS GROSS

—————

(ash and david trying to clear out a cave but they’re investigating it first)

*both of them lying on a cliff looking down at all these live skeletons*

ash: *farts*

*fart echos and the skeletons at the bottom hear and see where the two are and start charging

dave: ASH

ash: I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY-

—————

babe who got kidnapped: 🎵🎵hm hm hm hmm hmm hm hm hm hm hm, broke up dimension you’re breaking my heart, i’m lookin for a broke up boy to break me apart🎵🎵 just kiddin, i got a boy! *pulls up unflattering selfie of ash from wallet*

—————

angel: woooaaaaaa pshhhh bwooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa pshhhhhh waaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooo pshhhh beoooooooooo pshhh

david who’s been getting slo mo punched for the last hour: stop it

—————

#redacted asmr #redacted david shaw #redacted davey #redacted asher #redacted milo #redacted darlin #redacted angel #redacted babe #redacted sweetheart #redacted sam #adventure time #incorrect quotes #shaw pack

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babymilkawa · 4 years ago

Text

random boyfriend headcanons with:

itadori yuuji

gn!reader :)

he will grab your face with his hands and look at u square in the face

he’ll have smthing important to say

but

“babe you know I wa- ugh you’re so beautiful”

and then proceed to kiss you

he’ll pull back and say “wait wait I had to say something”

but looking at ur face makes him forget whatever it was

“I forgot..eh wtvr guess I’ll makeout with you then” 🤪

he will w a d d l e into your room with food or your fav drink

then kiss your cheeks mwah mwah and ask “how’s it going babyyy, wanna hang out?”

you’ll get up from your desk, him reaching out to tickle you as you stretch then proceed to flop the both of you on your bed

he’ll j lay on top of you and y’all can just sleep like that

he needs to be constantly touching you even if it’s like crossing your ankles when y’all chill on the bed or rubbing a hand on your waist as he squeezes past you in the kitchen

he’s always trying to find ways to be romantic with you like trying to keep it alive yk

and it’s thru cheesy things but still u gotta appreciate the effort

he’ll randomly FaceTime you and whisper a pickup line in the speaker and then start GiggGLING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHILE UR THERE LIKE 🙄

or he’ll try the kabedon move and he’ll fail because he’ll break character

omgg and if YOU do it to him he’s all deddd and going u’d rly pick me if I was a booger 🥺💘

omg I can see u guys re-enacting like iconic movie scenes yk

and it’ll be anYtImE like in the middle of a mission

you’ll be on the floor pretending like bl00d is gushing out while he screams at your quivering figure 🙄

HAHHA but WATCH GOJO JOIN IN WHILE fushiguro and nobara are all daddd you’re embarrassing us 🙄✋🏼

your bf has sm energy that he will often times sweep you up, and run

with no destination in mind

just run

with you in his arms

as the wind blows through your hair

and the descending sunset highlights your gorgeous smile

sry *clears throat* anYWays

ITADORI

SIMP

SAY WITH ME YALL 👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻

he will not hesitate to slytherin to your room to scare those nightmares away 🤺🤺🤺

btw he sleeps shirtless let that sink in

just imaging him laying down with you on his chest and his arms j wrapped tight around you as his low snores echo around the silent room

fKFHJGHKJFH

lemme just...step away

OMG HE IS LITRALLY THAT GUY WHO’LL PAY FOR EVERYTHING and when u bring it up that u feel bad, he’ll go oh no well remember when you bought me something from the vending machine?

SIR THATS NOT THE SAME BUT U MIGHT AS WELL PAY FOR MY TUITION FEE

I mean not to make y/n sound bad but my point is he’s like that

will do u HUGe favors cuz he loves helping u and loves being the one to help you and loves when u need help from him :)

if anyone ever makes u uncomfortable, he will show his fangs RAwrrr grrr

aww loves to sneak up behind you and put his arms on your shoulders

if you’re shorter than him, he’ll place his chin on your head, sway side to side

or if you’re taller he’ll wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your back

definitely a smiles-into-the-kiss type guy

will break out into a giggling session if you kiss him somewhere different like his nape or behind his ear

tryna tell you that it tickles but he can’t stop squirming and giggling

ok very much needs you to wash and dry his hair

it’s like an almost everyday thing

if you leave for the day or week he’ll not know what to do

you come back all “goddamn let’s get u with some shampoo”💀💀

he will subconsciously follow you around

you could be doing errands or cleaning the place up, he goes to whichever room you’re in, doing his own thing too

if you’re too busy to pay him attention, he’ll whine very loudly for it

and slouch and swing his arms around like a little kid

*pout pout*

OMG HAHHA TODOU will always just cross his arms and huff when he sees you two together

he sees it as a “betrayal to brotherhood” cuz itadori got someone b4 he did

itadori: “aaah leave us aloneee” -_-

wears ur clothes

doesn’t matter what kinda clothes u have he’s wearing them

whatever fits

I mean it’s only fair if he’s gotta lose clothing u do too🤷🏽‍♀️

Issa give n take baby

if you go shopping with him expect him to...act like a kid

he will INSIST on going with you though and if ur like “but ur j gonna complain again”, he’ll pout his way through it

gives you advice on the clothes you try on...but they’re shitty

LIKE you’ve got an amazing outfit on and you rly wanna buy it but he goes “that doesn’t match my hair though :((”

like ???

and he doesn’t even do it on purpose

OR OR if he can rly sense that u love the outfit he’ll hype the hell out of you bro

but if he continues with the shitty advice, you’ll just buy clothes without trying it on

he’ll see it one day like hey I Never saw u try this on

-_- I wonder why

OKOK I gotta stop here or else it’s gonna go on forever

a/n: aaaaa I LOVE writing for yuuji ilovehimsmomgfjhgjfh

jujutsu kaisen masterlist

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spookyvalentine · 3 years ago

Note

Kasumi, Thane, Shiala for the character ask meme

OHHHHHHHHH i do be too in love

FIRST IMPRESSION

K: a THIEF??? you give me HEIST??? i studied art history in college, and got very focused on art crime and museum security and made several professors quite anxious, so the first time I played 2 and recruited her, she immediately soared to the top of my fave list

T: oh ho oh HO tiddy window. he is... ooh. him pretty. then he talked. HE'S HOT!!!! uh oh weren't you gonna romance garrus?

S: when she feel out of the thorian i was like wat. i am getting my ass kicked by a plant booger. why are you HERE. WHO ARE YOU

IMPRESSION NOW

K: i will die for you. i wanted to see more of her in 3. i wanted to heist the casino with her. extremely in love, forever and always, and if i wanted to punish myself and make another shepard it'd be to romance her

T: shattered. one of the most deeply romantic LIs out there imo. watching him come alive again. unrecoverable. i'll forever love him. also hes hot as fuck lemme lick him. he didn't die, he blasted kai leng in the face the second he leveled his pistol. i will also go to my grave foaming at the mouth what they did to him

S: wife. omg please benchpress me. the first time i played and had that conversation post-thorian and its like oh. you're badass as fuck. a commando and studied for centuries w benezia? AND THEN SHE FLIRTS W YOU IN 2 AND THERE IS NO OPTION FOR FOLLOW UP???? i thought about that scene all the time. and with the next couple playthroughs, every time i got to see her i was like. oh no youre even prettier. oh no you're even cooler. and now its just terminal brainrot. god i wish we couldve recruited her/romanced her. that would have been mad dope. thank god i am sometimes capable of writing fic

FAVORITE MOMENT

K: ohhhh a toughie. it feels like a cop out to say all of them, but her VA does such a damn good job bringing so much personality into her lines so like even going and checking in on her between missions was a delight to hear her comment on squadmates. that heist was so good tho. hoot every time she jumps on the jet and gives hock that jaunty wave. WHAT A BABE!!! i also love when she goes HAha while in combat

T: when he finally talks about irikah and kolyat. it felt so special and intimate to learn about them. and when he cries before kissing shepard. yes.

S: when shE FLIRTS IN 2 OASIFHLJISUDH but seriously when shes free of the thorian and says she wants to help the colony in recompense. that. meant a lot to me. also i watched the renegade version on yt and the fact that she'll just. let shepard kill her without a fight.... that...... ow

IDEA FOR A STORY

K: well. i've got several fics in the works for her w mercy shepard

- new orleans heist

- vinny (the first man kasumi kills)

- ANDERSON NEVER ARRESTS MERCY AU: CRIMELORD MERCY SHEPARD where kasumi is their right hand, and eventually they end up on the trail of saren. alternate recruitment of squadmates >:)

T: i've got a google doc titled cleaning supplies which um. has been the filth i've been posting in chunks. the other fic for him that i just have a barebones bit is hurt/comfort after mercy visits alchera, beginnings of a romance between them. and of course, sports coach au that i will absolutely start actively writing once i've gotten a couple more "essential" mercy fics done

S: i am working on stellan and shiala's first in-person date after the war, inspired by you, the powerful @yellingaboutmasseffect, where they do the floating howl/sophie walk. and then i like to play around with a full-on howl's moving castle shepala au, that i'd probably post scenes from, rather than any sort of longfic. and im still writing very married sleepy fucking. um. yeah. that's almost complete

UNPOPULAR OPINION

K: i will never regret she's there because she makes my life worthwhile, but why was kasumi recruited in the first place?? she's a thief, not a murder powerhouse

T: can't be considered a dilf til kolyat forgives him and even then, hun, you've got a lot of work to do for your kid (which, he does, of course. but it can't be ignored that thane just. abandoned his child)

S: i think she would've made a more fun companion than liara

FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP

(ignoring shepard)

K: i thought the one she had with the spectre jondam bau was fun. i'd write them going on an interrupted heist-turned-date. or a slow burn enemies to lovers thing. if i had time. i also love that kasumi and samara hang out, referenced in 2

T: thane/irikah, of course! what a powerful couple.

S: i would love to read about shiala studying under benezia, and then the curdling relationship has soverign's indoctrination worms between them. to her being sacrificed to the thorian. and then her learning the death of her teacher. like. there's a lot there and it hurts my feelings when i think about it. love that for me :)

FAVORITE HEADCANON

K: her grandmama. i have her as a badass cat burglar that raised kasumi as not only a beloved grandchild, but also her protege. powerful woman. also cared for mercy, but she dies when kasumi is seventeen

T: that he's got a dick like a vodka tampon

S: she's absolutely ripped. i know it. you know it. we all know it. i like the idea that she's both beefy and intellectual. and in my shepala-rotted brain, she's got a real talent for growing flowers :')

#thank you for the asks!!!#these were a lot of fun #and also got me wanting to work on some docs....#hope you enjoyed!!! i think i got a little carried away #kasumi goto #thane krios #shiala #mass effect #literally the top three im hideously in love with thank u #thane/irikah #shrios

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izucrew-bakusquad · 4 years ago

Text

BNHA as a Character from WandaVision

Spoilers from Episode 5 of WandaVision and onward!

Eri, staring at Present Mic: He’s what you’d call... a manchild.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mina, in a red costume: I’m a Sokovian Fortune Teller!

Bakugou: Wow... that is so--

Kirishima: Rad!

Bakugou: Lame!

Kirishima: Lame.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Joke: You never told me much about your students. I had no idea they’d be so...

Kirishima, Sero, Denki all sitting with Eri: Ready?! GO!

All of them: *poke holes in soda cans and drink from the holes*

Mrs. Joke: Great with kids!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou, making fun of Midoriya’s hero costume: Those are worse than the costumes your mom made us the year we got typhus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima, puzzled: That’s not exactly how I remembered it.

Kaminari: You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sero: Sweet costume, bro-ham-in-law! Lemme guess! Uh... traffic light! Half-shucked corn! A booger!

Bakugou, dressed in green and yellow for once: *sigh* Yes.

Sero: YES!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaminari, playing with Eri and Kota: It was Kota’s idea!

Eri: I’m Eri!

Kaminari: AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima, interrupted an Erasermic argument: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s the big dealio? Big guy has a conflict, Eri needs a father figure for the night. Don’t sweat it, teach! I got the old XY chromosome! Big bro E to the rescue, huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou, taking Eri out trick or treating: UNLEASH HELL, DEMON SPAWN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mina: What was the name of the kid who was always trying to steal your boots?

Kaminari: You’re testing me!

Mina: No, I am not!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima: I know I look different.

Childhood friend: Why do you? ... look different?

Kirishima: You tell me! I mean, if I found Shangri-La, I wouldn’t wanna be reminded of the past either!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Joke, visiting the dorms: Where were you hiding all these kids until now?

Aizawa: What?!

Mrs. Joke: I assume they were all just sleeping peacefully in their beds. No need to traumatize beyond the occasional holiday episode cameo, am I right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Villain Midoriya, looking down at captured Dynamight: Are you kidding? I’m impressed! Seriously! It’s a pretty big leap from giving people nightmares and shooting explosive little wiggly-woos out of your hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Villain Bakugou to Aizawa: Don’t sweat it, teach. It’s not like your dead husband can die twice.

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sunaswife · 4 years ago

Note

wait oh my god! i just saw what those anons said to you >:((

D,: please dont plan to go on such a risky meal + diet plan because of those shitty stinky stupid smelly sucky anons. you’re literally drop dead gorgeous and beautiful and so fucking cute. you also have the cutest sense of style like 🥺. anons just jealous bc its ugly af, both inside and out 🤢. also their unpopular opinion, pls bb lemme tell u sum; your work and content is superb and incredible like, you have the ability to write something that’ll keep someone up at 2 in the morning, reading through your entire series and having them think all about it before going to bed (speaking from experience😭). u have the power to turn someone who was never a suna simp into the biggest suna simp. i, guilty speaking, would literally reread ur work before a new chapter comes out, its just so good- my confession made 😔. its there loss to not have your quality content on their feed. of suna was real he’d back me up on all of thos headass, bb you are so 💓💗💞💕💘 just the way you are, dont let no motherfucker let you think otherwise, and if they do imma 👊🏼😤 pwem pwem their bitchasses the fuck. me, rin and your homies will literally fight for you, we pullin up for u bb💖

Thank u so much after sleeping it off I do feel better I just have nasty eye boogers from all the crying but I’ll survive

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bapyess1r · 5 years ago

Text

Head Over Heels

03. Changes

Samira’s POV

1 year ago...

“Samira-”

“Fuck off, Javi!” I barked, slamming the door in his face. I was fuming, struggling to get the leash off of my dog’s collar. Imagine this: you’re going to get coffee before work and take your dog for a walk…. just to find your boyfriend tonguing down another girl in the park.

“Hey, hey now...what’s goin’ on here?!” My roommate Brazil asked loudly, her arms crossed defensively. Her girlfriend (also my best friend), Kelly, appeared behind her with a bat.

“Jesus, babe!” Brazil exclaimed as she scurried between us and looked into the peep hole.

“Javi?!” She shouted.

“Kellz? Tell Samira to come here, right now!” Javi ordered.

“Nigga what?!” Brazil snapped, twisting her face in disgust. “He just… Did he really just fucking say that?!”

“Wait- what happened?!” Kelly voiced.

“I was walking Masego and then I checked my phone, and when I look up from my fucking phone, he’s goddamn kissing some fucking rando at fucking Greenleaf!” I sobbed, hot tears running down my face.

“Shit…” Brazil mouthed.

“Go away, Javi!” I yelled.

“Samira, please! Lemme explain-”

“Explain what, bro?!-” I snapped. I was beyond pissed. I was shaking. Brazil came to my side, rubbing small circles into my back as tears continued to fall.

“OK! Maybe you should go, man. Just for a little bit.” She said, cautioning him.

“I’m calling Honey.” Kelly whispered to her beloved as she put the phone to her ear. She patted my shoulder as she moved into the kitchen off to the side so she could hear better.

“Mira! Why won’t you talk to me?!” I could hear him holler.

“Do you seriously have to ask me that shit?!”

“Baby she was NOTHING!”

“And that’s some bullshit if I ever heard it-” Just then, Kelly appeared, linking her arm in mine.

“He’s on the way with Wonho and Shownu.” She told us quickly.

“Alright, Javi, bounce bro! Jooheon is on the way with the boiiz and I definitely don’t want you to catch that kinda ass whooping cuz we cool man-” Brazil warned.

“You think I give a fuck about two chink ass muh’fuckers-” he snapped, banging on the door. Startled, Kelly raised her bat.

“Bro you’re deadass being DUMB- get the FUCK outta there! They on they way-”

“BRUH ION GIVE A FUCK!” Javi interrupted her. I looked into the peephole and he was turning red in the face; muscles straining and veins popping from his everywhere. His brows sewn to the middle as he paced in front of the door.

“That muh’fucker better give a fuck.” Kelly mumbled.

“Hell yeah. I’m not tryna be on the receiving end of Wonho’s any fucking thing…..except-” I began with a raised eyebrow.

“Girl that’s all of us. Even me. And I like vaginas!” Brazil joked, breaking the tension. We shared a brief laugh before I shook my head slowly into tears.

“I just don’t understand….. What did I do?” I bawled. I was truly at a loss for words. I was speechless. I gave Javi….everything. He was my first love, he took my virginity, he gave me a promise ring and swore in front of a room of people that he’d replace it with an engagement ring. I let myself be unequivocally me with him…. and he played me… for who? After a few moments of me crying my heart out in front of the girls, there was a jumble of voices outside the door.

“Ayo what’s good H-”

“Shut up.” I heard Jooheon’s voice interrupt and a light thump from the sound of a fist colliding with a jaw. There was a knock at the door and when Kelly opened up, standing there alone was Jooheon, cradling his injured fist. I ran to the doorway to look down the hall and see Javi being carried away by both Shownu and Wonho’s massive builds. “Are you ok?” He asked me softly, reaching out for me. Without a word, I ran into his arms and just stayed there for a while, crying. He hushed my tears and stroked my hair, kissing the top of my head.

Two Months Later….

There was a knock on my bedroom door but I didn’t answer. “Mira?” I heard Jooheon’s voice say from the other side. My heart jerked but I was too sad to move. “A bunch of us are going to the noraebang in Korea Town…. Wonho and Shownu are going and Maura’s just come from the airport….and your sister, Lydia is in town… she wants to see you, too…” he said trying his best to make me feel better. I huffed.

“Do I have to?” I groaned.

“Absolutely not, peanut, but we’d love it if you did…. I want you there too.” Jooheon said. I laid there and pondered it. It’s been a while now….. I couldn’t be this way forever. Javi made his choice and I needed to move on… I stood up and opened the door just enough to peek through.

“Will I get to sing La-Di-Da-Di?” I asked quite hopefully. Because who doesn’t like singing Mindless Self Indulgence?

“I’ll even make sure you have backup vocals. And I could beatbox if you'd like.” His eyes softened and he gave me the sweetest smile.

“I suppose I could make myself presentable….” I sighed. And with that I turned around to go grab a jacket and a pair of duck boots.

We parked on the street and he fed the meter before taking off down the street. After walking a block, we stopped at a building with a colorfully lit doorway. “Ladies first.” Jooheon smirked, giving a dramatized bow. I popped him on the back of the head playfully and walked down the illuminated staircase. We greeted the owner and Jooheon led me to the room they rented. When we arrived, I could hear them already singing Livin’ On A Prayer at the top of their lungs.The door opened and there was Wonho and Kelly singing loudly and terribly. Just two stepping and playing the tambourine, everyone around the room clapping and cheering them on. Brazil noticed me enter and the biggest smile appeared on her face as she came to hug me.

“I’m so glad you came….” she told me as she gently squeezed me. Shownu’s gentle but stoic face displayed for once a smile. He opened his long arms to me from the red leather couch.

“Come here, booger.” He said sweetly and I ran to jump into his lap, curled up in his embrace as he rocked me to the rhythm of the music. When I looked over, sitting next to him with her arms crossed and a nervous expression was my sister, Lydia.

“Hey, sis.” She said with a small smile.

“Dia. Hi.” I said in surprise.

“I’m sorry to hear about you and Javi…” she said looking down. “Really I am.”

“I’m not…. he didn’t want me anymore and he wasn’t man enough to say so.” I said in a stale tone as I slid off on Shownu’s lap to sit between them.

“I’m glad to hear you’re ok.” He said patting my head.

“Oh no, I’m on the verge of killing myself but I don’t wanna die yet. I refuse to let him be the reason that I leave this earth. I….refuse…” Tears began to spill past the barrier as my friends’ song came to an end and the others came rushing to me. Kelly sat in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, sobbing as I sobbed. But then I began to laugh. “Hey now!” I said looking around at the red and blubbering mugs around me. “Y’all look like shit! And red and….wet faced and…” My eyes ghosted over them all and landed on Jooheon. His eyes were red and swollen and he wiped his tears away with a sleeve. “Like someone kicked your puppy! I’m gonna be fine. I promise.” I reassured everyone except myself. Would I be fine? I didn’t know what to do with myself now. Everywhere I went reminded me of him…

“How about a song to cheer you up?” Wonho asked in his gentle but deep voice. Paired with that sweet smile of his, I couldn’t say no. And with that, we commenced karaoke night.

An hour or so passed and I was beginning to lose my voice from screaming and singing and laughing so much. I was having a great time for the first time in a while. I looked around at my friends faces and they were all drunk and happy. All except my Lydia. It wasn’t like her to not participate in karaoke. At any event. She seemed stuck in a way. Like she was nervous to make a decision. And she stayed buried in her phone, texting. I chewed my bottom lip and walked over to sit by her side. “Hiya sis!” I exclaimed with a flop on the couch. She looked startled and suddenly became flustered.

“Samira! Hi! I was looking for you…” she mumbled. I side eyed her a bit.

“I was...standing right in front of you basically… The room’s not that big.” I stated, awkwardly.

“Oh! So you were…” she trailed off and began fidgeting with her fingers. Something was wrong…

“Are you ok?” I asked her as the fear of something bad sat in my chest.

“Is there any way we can talk outside?” She asked me. I stared at her with empty eyes as I nodded and we both left for the hall without notice. But I’m sure they saw.

When I closed the door, the loud music thumped a muted bass line on the other side. Lydia pushed her long, wavy brown hair behind her ear and cleared her throat, taking a deep breath afterwards. She pulled the sleeves of her long orange cardigan over her hands and crossed her arms, staring at the ground. “What did you wanna talk about?” I asked. She sat back in her hips and held her head high as she looked at me to speak.

“Well… Samira. There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just come out with it…..” she began in a shaky voice. I frowned, knitting my brows together tightly and flaring my nostrils. My heart was beating faced and my fists clenched up as I prepared to hear the news. “I…. I….” Her lips began to tremble and she seemed to cease breathing. “It was me.”

“Huh?” I asked confused.

“It…. it was me… Javi was kissing me at the park. It was me, Samira….” she said hanging her head, tears dripping onto the floor. I wasn’t sad as much as I was angry. I had so much rage boiling inside me that I was shaking; I couldn’t speak properly. I was just a stuttering mess.

“Y-You….” I lifted a shaky finger to point at her, stammering.

“Mira, I’m sorry…. I’m so so sorry-” And like a switch, I almost became someone else. My hand grabbed a fistful of her sewn in hair and threw her to the floor, screaming. I don’t know what happened in the next two minutes. But when I came to, Wonho was holding me by the waist, suspending above the ground; kicking and screaming and yelling. My hands hurt and my eyes burned. My sister was on the floor, disheveled and shaky, crying. Her lip was bleeding and she had a few marks on her face that Shownu was looking at and tending to. Kelly was in front of me trying to grab my attention as Wonho dragged me away, Jooheon standing between us all looking at us in shock.

“Calm down, booger-” Wonho said in a hushed tone, restraining me like a wild animal with rabies.

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“OOOOKAY!!!! Honey! Close out the tab, karaoke is done. Now!” Kelly barked, following Wonho as he carried me out. “And meet me at the crib.”

Author’s Note:

I hope you guys aren’t disappointed yet. There is a part two of this chapter coming soon. Pls keep reading 🥰

#joe gilgun fanfic #joe gilgun #joseph gilgun #rudy wade x reader #rudy wade #cassidy x reader #proinsias cassidy x reader #proinsias cassidy

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unsoundedcomic · 6 years ago

Note

Wait, what? Quigley didn't want kids? "Accidents happen"? But...Vienne was delighted with Matty in that short story and said something about the gods not sending him a little brother or sister despite their trying... Dammit, Quigley, were you doing something sneaky to avoid conception rather than having an honest conversation with your wife? That's dishonest, dude...

Nah, Vienne hadn’t wanted kids either, for the same reason. But when she suddenly found herself pregnant - remember, they were barely more than kids themselves and were going with the pull-out method so... - she wanted to keep it. I think we can chalk it up to her natural scientific curiosity. What would it be like to be pregnant? To give birth? To have this tiny human all to yourself?

It was selfish, in its way. She’d been so gung-ho about how terrible the castes are and how subjugated the Plats were. She’d never contribute to that! Ever!

Aww, but then... what if?

Anyway, Quigley of course tried to get her to abort, but her mind was made up. And then Matty was born and Quigley had to admit the little booger was probably Fine. Whatever. I don’t care.

(lemme hold it)

Of course Vienne wanted another one and was hoping for a repeat of the same accident, but Quigley was a lot more careful after that. Vienne felt weird even asking him about it since she felt she was such a piss-poor excuse for a wife and mother anyway. Why did she want another baby so bad when her favourite thing to do in the world anyway was be out in that workshop building Uaid?

Arrgh, life is hard!

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crazy-little-cool-cat · 6 years ago

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Hand in Glove - Chapter 17 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: Oh my sweet lord this took forever didn’t it? Sorry. I was abroad, and life just got craaaazy. but I’m back - and so are Ben and Annie! :) Sorry in advance for any inaccurasies that you might find. My lack of experience in the events that unfold in this chapter might have showed. Anyways, enjoy!

Word Count: ~2K

Warnings: Fluff and lots of emotions, and a really sweet surprise.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16

“Fuck!!!” Annie roared so loud, Ben could hear it over the blaring music as he worked out. “God fucking damn it!”

Ben turned the volume down and dried off with his towel. He stepped out of the room, his face red and his body sweaty. Annie stood in the middle of the kitchen, stranded between endless shards of broken glass and china. The floor was covered with mashed potatoes and soda. Frankie, thankful for this miracle, stole a piece of fried chicken and bolted to her “spot” in the living room.

“For Christ’s sake…” Ben muttered and fetched a broom and a dust-pan out of the laundry room. “Annie, we’re running out of plates and glasses!”

“Frankie almost tripped me, you complete arse!” Annie shifted her weight from one foot to the other while Ben cleared a path for her to walk through. “I could have fallen down and skewered my face or the damn baby and you’re talking to me about plates?!”

“Just two more weeks.” Ben crouched down and picked up the bigger pieces. “Fucking hell, Annie, you have mashed potatoes between your toes, I’m -”

“I’m aware!” Annie snapped. “Thanks.”

“So, it was Frankie’s fault, then?” Ben looked up at Annie.

“There is an actual turkey blocking my field of vision and I haven’t seen my own feet in months!” Annie’s chin started quivering. “I’ve had it with this damn thing. Get that fucking baby out of me.”

“Annie, come on.”

“Today!”

“That’s not how it works!”

“I don’t fucking care! You hear me?” Annie looked down into her t-shirt. “I. Don’t. Care.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Get out!!!”

“She’ll come out when she’s ready.”

“Why are you taking her side?” Annie planted her hands on her hips. She lifted one foot off the floor to shake the mess off, but lost her balance and flailed her arms.

“Alright, my weebly-wobbly love,” Ben quickly got hold of her to keep her from tipping over. “Go upstairs, get cleaned up. I’ll take care of this.”

###

Annie hummed happily while Clara braided her hair. Since Annie was having a difficult time with the end of her pregnancy, Ben decided it would be best if movie nights were temporarily relocated from Gwil’s to their own home.

At first, Annie was reluctant. While she appreciated the thought, she was hesitant about having everyone over, especially with her mum (and Ben’s parents) hovering about as the due date approached.

What if she had a mood swing and snapped? What if she suddenly went into labour? What if this is Ben’s sneaky way to throw her a baby shower, after she specifically said she’s not interested in having one?

Her worries, however, subsided as soon as the gang filed into her home. Even though they did bring a few presents for the baby, there were no silly baby-themed games. As they turned on the telly and fired up Netflix, Annie could almost forget she’s even carrying an almost fully grown baby in her belly.

She was having a great time, actually. After being alone most of the day, she was happy to have some company besides Ben and Frankie and she hasn’t seen her friends in a few days, with them being busy and her being incredibly pregnant. She was all smiles and giggles, really. Until the heartburn kicked in, that is.

“You alright?” Gwil scratched at the scruff on his chin, a concerned look on his face. “You look… you look like you’re in pain.”

“I’m a miserable hippopotamus.” Annie grumbled.

“At least your hair looks pretty, though.” Joe shrugged and took a swig from his beer bottle. He caught Ben dozing off in his peripheral vision. “Ben? Ben, buddy! Wake up!”

“Lemme sleep…” Ben mumbled. “M’so bloody tired…”

“We’re all tired, man.” Rami said through a wide yawn, resting his head on Lucy’s shoulder. “If he gets to sleep, so do I.”

“I mean, you can probably fit in Josie’s crib…” Joe mused, eliciting a snort from Annie and Lucy.

“Stop calling her that!” Annie chuckled.

“Never!”

“So, are we having a slumber party, then?” Lucy asked before kissing the top of Rami’s head. “Because I don’t see any of these fools leaving anytime soon.”

###

Annie huffed, bending her toes and cracking her knuckles. It was the middle of the night, and she woke up covered in cold sweat, yet again. As the due date approached, she seemed to be getting antsier and antsier. Every little pain in her body sent her running to her boyfriend.

This time, however, there was no pain. There was absolutely nothing, in fact. No movement, no kicks, no cramps. This time, Annie was legitimately terrified.

“Ben?” Annie gently shook her boyfriend’s shoulder. “Ben, wake up.”

Ben cracked one eye open and rolled over on his back. He blinked slowly at Annie’s silhouette looming over him.

“Mmm?”

“Something’s not right.”

Ben’s body shot up, momentarily wide awake. He blindly reached back and slapped the light-switch. Both he and Annie scrunched up their faces at the glowing light’s assault on their eyes and groaned.

“Did you water break?” Ben grumbled as he pushed the covers off the bed and started feeling for any wetness with his hands. “Are you having contractions? Did you call Dr. McCarthy? Should I?”

“No, I…” Annie took in a shaky breath. “I can’t feel her.”

“You can’t feel her?”

“The baby. I can’t feel her.” Annie took Ben’s hands and placed them on her bump. They sat in tense silence for a while, waiting for any movement to happen. “She’s not moving, Ben.”

Ben swallowed hard and engulfed Annie in his arms.

“Let’s just get you in the car, yeah?” He tried to flash Annie his most reassuring smile, but it didn’t quite reach all the way up to his eyes. “We’ll go to the hospital.”

“It’s probably nothing, right?” Annie grabbed his wrist as he moved to get up. “It’s just me being crazy again?”

“Probably.” Ben kissed the top of Annie’s head, cupping her face in his hands. “But let’s just get you checked out. Just in case.”

###

“No, mum, she’s fine.” Ben rubbed soothing circles on Annie’s back as he spoke on the phone. “The heartbeat was weak but they induced labour and she’s just… no, mum, really. There’s no need for you and dad to come over. We’re in the bloody delivery room. There’s no need.”

“Ben, I love your mum,” Annie growled, “I really do, but if you don’t get off the bloody phone -”

“I’ll call you as soon as I can mum. I promise. Yeah.” Ben gently massaged the back of Annie’s neck. “Bye mum.”

“Your baby is trying to kill me and you’re on the fucking phone with your fucking mum?” Annie whined. “Priorities, Ben!”

“She’s worried, okay?” Ben brushed Annie’s sweaty hair away, over one of her shoulders, “and the baby isn’t trying to kill you. You’re a team, remember?”

Annabelle was drenched in sweat. Her bottom lip quivered violently by the time the anaesthesiologist arrived. She was in labour for hours, now, and she needed relief. As much as she wanted the birth to be as natural as possible, she felt like she might actually die from the pain she was in.

“Oh, thank fucking God!” Annie sighed in relief as she sat up, leaning forward as she was instructed. Ben kneeled in front of her, clutching her hands in his.

“Don’t look at anyone else, Banana...” He murmured, his lips gently brushing over her knuckles. “Just focus on me, yeah?”

A sharp pain took Annie’s breath away as the long needle penetrated her lower back. A slight burning sensation flushed over her. She started panting, her hands shaking uncontrollably in Ben’s warm grip.

“You’re doing great, dear!” the nurses cooed at her, “you’re such a trooper!”

“How long before it kicks in?” Ben glanced up at one of the nurses.

“Around fifteen minutes or so.”

“Oh, just fucking kill me and end it!” Annie cried out.

###

“It’s go-time, Annabelle!” Dr. McCarthy announced, slapping a fresh pair of latex gloves on and sitting down on a chair in front of Annie’s wide-spread legs. “Time to get the little booger out!”

Annie’s eyes seemed to double in size as she looked around her frantically. As much as she wanted that baby to come out, the sheer amount of pain she felt up to this point frightened her. A whimper escaped her.

“Love,” Ben brushed Annie’s sweaty hair away from her forehead, “it’s time.”

“I’m not ready!” Annie sobbed. She never felt more pathetic in her entire life. There she was, spread open, a room full of people looking at her most private part of her body. “What if I poop?”

“What?” Ben mumbled against her temple as he pressed a reassuring kiss.

“What if I push so hard and I just poop on our baby?” Annie couldn’t stop sobbing at this point. “I don’t want my baby covered in shit, Ben!”

“That’s what the enema was for, Annabelle,” one of the nurses quipped as she looked over the fetal monitor feed. Ben’s complexion seemed to turn green as he held back a gag. “And if you will defecate on the baby, we’ll clean her right up. She won’t ever know it happened.”

“Please don’t poop on our baby?” Ben pleaded softly, making Annabelle smile through her tears.

“I’ll do my best.” Annie chuckled. Ben wrapped an arm behind Annie’s upper back, letting her lean on him as he braced her up. She squeezed each of his hands in pulses, preparing herself for the main event.

Ben pressed his cheek to hers, giving her quick kisses from the corner of his mouth, whispering words of encouragement. Dr. McCarthy stared at the monitor intensely before clapping her hands twice and wiggling her fingers.

“Okay, Annabelle,” her head dipped down between Annie’s legs, “deep breath in. Fill those lungs, love. Just like you do in Pilates!”

Annie drew in a slow breath, closing her eyes. Her ribcage expanded as if she had a balloon in there. She held her breath in for a second before she heard the command, “push!”

It was as if her entire body is being split in two, but the sensation was still rather numb from the anaesthetics. She exhaled through her mouth as she contracted her abdominal muscles, feeling a pressure build around her hips and pelvis.

“You’re so amazing.” Ben whispered, his lips grazing her temple, as she squeezed his hands until her knuckles turned white and the tips of his fingers an angry maroon. “You’re so fucking amazing. Unreal.”

“Good job, Annie!” Dr. McCarthy shot up a latex-covered thumb, glistening with goo. “Get ready for another round. You’re doing great!”

Annie felt like she had been pushing for hours. Bumpy was reluctant to come out. Her strength was diminishing, fast. Her patience and nerves were long gone.

“There she is! We’re crowning, people!” Dr. McCarthy called out, “that’s the head!”

###

The shrill sound of a baby wailing filled the delivery room, accompanied by pathetic, breathy sobs from the two very excited parents. Through her tears, Annie felt the nurse tug down her hospital gown and then place the baby on her exposed chest for what felt like mere seconds. Through her blurry vision, Annie only managed to catch a glimpse of a tiny arm before the baby was whisked away again.

“You did it! You fucking did it! She’s okay…” Ben mumbled and sobbed incoherently as he pressed kisses to Annabelle’s tear stained lips, “she’s okay. You’re okay. Oh my God.”

Time seemed to pass by in a blur. The delivery room was as busy as a bee-hive. Annie felt herself slip in and out of consciousness as exhaustion took over her completely. Her vision was fuzzy around the edges and she felt as if she’s under water, everyone’s voices were muffled around her.

She had no idea how much time had passed until her eyes fluttered open and her vision cleared up. Ben’s smile was as bright as the sun as he carried a small bundle, cradled carefully in his arms.

After a nurse helped Annie sit up, Ben kissed the little bundle in his arms and passed it over to Annie, settling beside her with his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in.

Annie stared down at two pools of turquoise, slightly greener than her own eyes. She traced her finger from the top of her baby’s head, feeling the silky soft tufts of hair; then down her nose, softly wiggling the button-like tip; and finally, over the baby’s cheeks. She couldn’t help but smile, sobbing pathetically.

“Are we ready to fill in the birth certificate?” the nurse asked in a hushed voice. “It’s okay if you don’t have a name yet.”

“We have a name.” Ben and Annie said at the same time and looked at each other. They stared at each other, absolutely smitten with one another and the tiny human they had created.

“Well, are you going to say it out loud? Dr. McCarthy snapped them out of their trance.

“Go, ahead, Ben.” Annie encourage him as the baby latched on to her breast.

“Aurora Josephine Jones.”

“Rory.” Annie whispered, her finger feathering over the baby’s plump little cheek. “Our Rory.”

TAGLIST: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @clara-who @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @rogerinamainbitch @justgivemethekeys @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod @darcyshire

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crayons07-blog · 5 years ago

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Damn son

Why is it so socially unacceptable to pick your nose? Like for real though... people be out there with a tickle in their nose and just be like "hold up lemme blow it out"

Like NO just get a tissue and PICK that son of a bitch out- bruh we all know you and your foghorn of a nose didn't actually get that damn booger out by blowing into a tissue-

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conman167936 · 6 years ago

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Incorrect LIS2 Quotes Collection.

(All of these quotes came from the twitter handle https://twitter.com/IncorrectGTLive. I changed the names to fit the characters from LIS2. I cannot take credit for any of these jokes.)

===

Chris: Can you give me a metaphor? Sean: My life is a train wreck. Chris: Yes I know Sean, but I need an example of a metaphor. === Lyla: Hit me with your best pickup line. Sean: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Lyla: This is why you're still single. ===

Sean, on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I asked? Daniel: Yep. Sean: What temperature? Daniel: 5:34. Sean: That’s the clock. Daniel: Sean: Daniel: 5:35. ===

Chris: I'm 50% cool, 80% good looking, 70% awesome. Charles: That's 200%. Chris: I'm twice the man you'll ever be. === Daniel: Looking good, Diaz. Sean: Daniel, we’re brothers, why are you calling me by my last name? Daniel: I was talking to myself. === Sean: We won! Everything went according to plan and we didn't even have to fight to win! Daniel, who didn't get to use his powers: Yeah, it went okay. I guess. === Sean: I drink to forget but I always remember. Daniel: Sean, you're drinking a Capri-Sun. === Sean: You need to accept that sarcasm will get you nowhere in life. Lyla: But it got me to the Sarcasm World Championships in Nicaragua back in '96. Sean: Really? Lyla: No you dumbass.

=== Sean, placing a marshmallow on the table: You can have THIS after you finish your training. Daniel: I'm nine years old! You can't motivate me with snacks! Sean, taking the marshmallow back: You're right, you're too old for that sort of thing. Daniel: H-hang on a second, I never said I didn't WANT it- === Chris: I wanna be a butterfly so I can fly right up to everyone’s faces and annoy them but they can’t get mad because I’m too pretty. === Lyla: I dare you to kiss the next person that walks in. Sean: I'm not kissing anybody here. *Jenn walks in* Sean, already getting up: Well, rules are rules. === Daniel: Why is Chris standing on the table? Charles: He likes to be tall.

===

Sean: Hey Daniel, are you okay? Daniel, crying: Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just the onions. Sean, to the onions: What the fuck did you say to Daniel? === Sean: Who's your friend, Daniel? Daniel: This is Chris. Chris: I'm here to steal the show and also your hearts. ===

Finn: One time when I got high, I stripped naked, stole my friends dog, climbed a tree & proclaimed myself king of the world. Cassidy: California weed will fuck you up. Sean: And that's why you don't do drugs kids! === Sean: I bet I could fit the whole world in my hands! Daniel: Sean, that's physically impossible. Sean: *cups Daniel's face* Are you sure? Daniel: *blushing* Stop it, I have a reputation. === Daniel: Good morning. Claire: Good morning. Stephen: Good morning. Sean: You all sound like robots, “good morning, good morning,” spice it up a bit! Daniel: Hey, motherf*ckers. ===

Sean: I'm a Sophisticated Adult okay? Sean: Just last week I purchased a vegetable.

===

Sean: What is the one thing I told you not to do? Daniel: Show off my power. Sean: And what did you do? Daniel: Made everyone dinner! Sean: Daniel: Sean: Daniel: ...and show off my power. === Sean: Don’t say a word. Chris: Lyla: Daniel: Fergalicious. Sean: Daniel, I said no words! Daniel: Oh I see how it is. Two weeks ago when we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word, because it's convenient for you. === Claire: Now all we have to do is put the star on top of the tree! Daniel: So how are we going to get me up there? ===

Daniel: *Is upset* Sean: I will destroy every aspect of the known universe and burn whatever remains to ash in order to be sure I eradicate whatever hurt you. Daniel: ...I’d rather have a hug.

===

Chris: People in their 20s call people older than them adults...so when do they realize...they are adults? Charles: I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

=== Daniel: *coughs* Claire: Bless you. Daniel: That was a cough. Claire: You still need Jesus, Daniel. === Sean: Everyone says I have a favorite, which is not true. I love Daniel & the Not-Daniels equally. Chris: He's got to be kidding. Lyla: We've known each other for years. Sean: Hi Not-Daniels! Lyla: Oh my, he's not kidding.

=== Daniel: *Bumps into the door" Sean: Are you okay? Daniel: Yeah, I’m fine. Sean, facing the door: You stand in his way one more time and I’ll fight you. Daniel: Sean, it's just a door. Sean: It's a door that I'll fight. === Daniel: The results are in, and I'm afraid you have updog. Chris: What's updog? Daniel: Sean! Get in here, I told you I could do it! ===

Daniel: There is only one thing worse than leaving. *lifts paper to reveal ‘Karen leaving'* Sean: *gasps* Karen. Daniel: No.

=== Chris: So you lied to me? Daniel: Well, that depends on how you define ‘lying’. Chris: I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define it? Daniel: Reclining your body in a horizontal position. === Charles: Chris is being bullied Daniel: He needs a sword Charles: What no that would Daniel: *Pulls out a sword* Charles: Woah hold on I don't want any problems Daniel, to Chris: See what I mean? === Daniel: Oh no. Sean: *barges into the room* WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU DYING!? Daniel: Uh, no. I just dropped my pencil. === Charles: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something. Chris: You left me in the parking lot three weeks ago. Charles: I did that on purpose. === Sean: Lemme see what you have! Daniel: TELEKENISIS! Sean: NO! Claire: oh my god why does he have telekinesis? === Daniel: Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety one"? Chris: TWOOTY TWO! Lyla: THREETY THREE! Sean: FOURTY FOUR! Sean: Sean: I have realized my mistake. === Chris: Dad... you’re drunk. Charles, clearly drunk: I’m not drunk. Sean: Are you sure? Charles: I’m not drunk. Daniel: Really? Charles: Not. Drunk. Chris: Can you tell the time? Charles, to the clock: I’m nOT F***ING DRUNK. ===

Sean: I’m not a regular dad, I’m a cool dad. Daniel: You’re not even a dad. Sean: You’re grounded.

===

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boshawbearclaw · 6 years ago

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The 5th Anniversary

Sorry y'all if there are some mistakes, enjoy none the less

@bisexuallychaotic-dragonprincess

___________ππππ___________

“I’ve been living in Georgia on my own for a while now, ever since I moved out of my momma’s house when I was eighteen, my dream was to live in a trailer park in Senoia, Georgia, don’t judge me ok, I don’t like material possessions. Anyway, i’ve been planning this since I was sixteen, so fast forward to age 25, i’m a welder and I have a steady income flowing and my dog, Ryeman, and I are healthy and everything is fuckin’ great. I also have a boyfriend whom i love so fuckin’ much, his name is Merle and he’s the light of my dark life. “

5 years ago--

About a few hours into unpacking the moving truck on the first day of moving, Lucas met a very shy man, Daryl Dixon, and his bombastic brother, Merle Dixon. They approached the moving truck with smirks on their faces, Lucas was in the back of the truck, bent over trying to pick up a box.

Once he picked up the one he was looking for, he turned around and headed for his trailers door but was stopped by the brothers standing in his way. The raven haired boy stopped in his tracks to stare at the men for a moment before saying, “Uh, hi, who are you two?”

The brothers stare for a moment before answering their new neighbor, “We just wanted to greet the newbie, ain’t that right Darlina?” the older brother says, ‘Darlina’ thwacks his arm with the back of his hand. Lucas smirks at the nickname, “Ignore my idiot brother, i’m Daryl.” the younger Dixon said gruffly, Lucas smiles at him, “Haha, I don’t mind a little humor, i’m Lucas Yilmaz.” the boy said while scooting them out of the way of the door with the box in his hands.

Ryeman barked excitedly as his owner walked through the door with another box, Lucas set down the box with the other ones on the living room floor. Lucas turns back around to see both the brothers peering inside of the boys trailer, “Y'all can come in if ya want.” Lucas says innocently as he bends over again to check the name of the box real quick.

Merle and Daryl both step inside at the same time, accidentally wedging them side by side in the doorway, they both grunt as they move out of each other’s way to head further inside the trailer.

Merle whistles lowly, “Wow, fancy as fuck.”, Daryl agreed with a small grunt he sent in Lucas’ direction.

“Christ, it’s hot as fuck today.” Lucas said with a grunt, he unbuttoned and slipped off his red and black flannel shirt, his sweaty tattooed torso glistened in the sun that fell through the windows. Both the brothers stare at the boy with a sort of primal hunger in their eyes, “Uh,what’re y’all starin’ at?” Lucas said quietly, peering between the both of them. They both snap out of their stupor and shake their heads, “Nothing.” Daryl quietly said, “Yeah, just admiring the view.” Merle said flirtatiously.

Lucas blushed with a small smile plastered to his face, upon hearing two new voices, Ryeman hops off of the couch and bounds towards the two men, Ryeman tries to nip at their hands but Lucas stops him by grabbing his hips and tugging backwards, “Sorry, he does that to everyone he meets for the first time, bad boy stop it. Go lay down booger.” Lucas says before motioning for his boy to go lay on the couch, he stands up straight and walks between the two men to go back outside to go fetch more boxes.

The brothers look at each other briefly before going back outside to go and help Lucas with the boxes, the eighteen year old boy thanked them before telling them where each box went. Soon they were done sorting boxes, the men were sitting on the couch with beers in their hands as

they watch Netflix on the flat screen tv, Lucas had set it up while they ate some pizza that he ordered 40 minutes ago. “Come by tomorrow if y’all want, id love it if you brought more beer, ‘cause you know you drank all of mine.” Lucas said with a smile as they shuffled to the door,

putting their boots on as Lucas walked over,

“Yeah, we’ll come back here ‘round 11:00 o’ clock at night, and don’ worry we’ll bring some ‘shine to pay ya back for the beer. Ain’t that right, Daryl?”

Daryl nods softly as he chews on the side of his thumb, ‘Aw, cute stim’ Lucas thinks to himself,

when they leave Lucas hops to unpacking the boxes around the room, setting up the room how he had in his mind. By 3:00 AM, Lucas had all of the boxes unpacked and set up in his trailer, all he had to do now is break down the boxes and toss ‘em into the back of his truck. Which Lucas will do in the morning because he is dead tired.

Lucas heads to bed with his boxer in tow, he walks into his finished bedroom and jumps into bed after turning on the box fan that was on his dresser pointed at him, for some odd reason the boy just can't fall asleep without a fan being in his face. Lucas had shed his clothes in his sleep, first came the socks, then the pants and finally the shirt, his tattoo that says *Down Boy* on his side itched so he rubbed the fresh tattoo with the tip of his fingers.

Lucas moans in delight as he took his first bite of cold pizza, it may be night time but Lucas doesnt care, he wakes up when he wakes up. 20 minutes after waking up, he leaned against the stove as he took his second bite, he looked at the stoves clock behind him, taking note of

the time, ‘it’s 11 o’clock at night, they should be here soon.’ he thought to himself.

Right on que,there was a knock on the front door, Ryeman barked as Lucas made his way over to the trailers door. When he opened the door he was met with Merle and Daryl holding two 24 packs of PBR beer and a paper bag with 3 bottles of moonshine, “Shit, y’all i was just kiddin’” he laughed as he moved outta the way so that they could get inside the homey trailer, “Nah, we had to pay ya back, ho-lee shit boy! You really outdid yerself with all the decoratin’.” Merle laughed at Lucas’ face of surprise.

“Thank you, here lemme help ya.” Lucas said as he walked over to grab the boxes of PBR, Merle felt his fingers brush against Lucas’ as he took the box, the boy put the box on the counter then walked over to Daryl and took the box as well,the other man’s fingers brushed against his fingers. “So, what do y’all wanna do?” Lucas says, Merle scratches his chin in

thought while Daryl shrugged his shoulders and bites the corner of his thumb.

All the sudden ,while the men thought of things to do, music started to blare from the neighbors from across the street, Lucas growled deeply, “You gotta be kiddin’ me, it’s fuckin’ 11 o’clock, and they’re blaring fucking music!” Lucas shouted, both Daryl and Merle flinched at the level of volume Lucas used, “Sorry about that, i’ll be right back.” Lucas said as he went down the hall to his bedroom to grab his orange and black 1911 pistol from the nightstand.

Lucas struts down the hall, pistol in hand, to the main area of the trailer, “Ha, I like your style kid, all right!” Merle said while taking out a 9mm pistol out of the back of his waistband, Daryl followed suit with his own pistol and a small smirk on the his face. “Now boys, we’s just gon’ scare them city slickers, ok?” Lucas said with a smile plastered to his face, they exited the trailer and headed across the street to the neighbors door.

They rang the doorbell, they wait patiently as the music turned down a little, Lucas heard footsteps come closer and locks being unlocked, a girl about age 17 opens the door with a preppy air about her. “What.” the girl said with a pissy attitude.

“Turn. Down. The. Music. Before we come in there and make you turn it down.” Lucas said in his serious tone, Merle and Daryl make their presence known by hanging off the boys shoulder. Lucas leans in, “And remember, i know where y’all sleep.” The boy whispers, she gasps before slamming the door in his face busting his nose, “Ah! Fuckin’ bitch!” He yelled at the door.

Lucas punched it, he screeched as pain blossomed in his fist. Daryl and Merle both put their pistols away, one brother grabbed Lucas’ wrist and the other brother grabbed his shoulders and made him turn around to guide back to the trailer. When they reached the boys home, they led him inside and made him sit on the counter as they took care of his wounds.

Merle situated himself between Lucas’ legs so he could ‘take a closer look at his nose’ as Merle said moments before, “Well, they turned down their fuckin’ music so we succeeded in that respect.” Lucas mumbled, Merle smiled as he thumbed Lucas’ cheek, “It’s alright Cher, Daryl and I will take care of you.” The man said comfortingly, Daryl agreed by putting his hand on Lucas’ thigh.

Daryl previously grabbed the medkit by the kitchen sink and set up a small station of medical supplies, he handed his brother a gauze soaked in alcohol, Merle took Lucas’ hand along with the gauze and padded the his busted up knuckles, “Mm, shit that hurts, thank you guys for helpin’ me.” Lucas said lowly, Daryl piped up a bit, “It ain’t no thang, b’sides we wouldn’t wanna let you go in there without backup.” Daryl said softly while he patted and rubbed Lucas’ thigh.

The end of the night went smoothly after the boys took care of Lucas, they drank some ‘shine and watched horror movies while layin’ all over each other. Merle was sitting on the couch with Lucas’ head on his lap, while Daryl sat on the floor with a beer in his hand. Lucas felt something

stiffen near his forehead but ignored it, as he was incredibly tired.

Lucas fell asleep on Merle minutes later with his thumb in his mouth, Daryl looked over and smiled softly before asking Merle to help him carry Lucas to bed, they stripped him to his boxers and turned on his fan before turning off the lights in the trailer and leaving the trailer after saying a few good byes to Lucas and Ryeman.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when Lucas got the call, "Hey son, I wanted to talk to you about my 5th anniversary, I was gonna have a party to celebrate being married to your step mother for 5 years and I was hoping you'd be there." Pa said on the other line, Lucas had a smile on his face the whole time, "Of course! I would love to come hang with you guys for a couple days, can I bring my boyfriend with me?" Lucas asked.

His Pa agreed and made plans for Lucas to come up to Washington State for a few days, maybe a week. They ended the call with a couple of 'i love you's and see ya soon's', Merle was in the shower getting ready for work when Lucas ended the call, "Fuckin' A, if i see Pa im gonna have to see that fucking cunt they call my uncle."

Suddenly the water shuts off, and a naked Merle steps into view, "Who you talkin' to, Cher?" The man asks, "Uh, my uh my pa, he asked me to go to Washington state for his wedding anniversary, I was gonna ask if maybe you wanted to come with me?"

"Of course ill come with you, after all Daddy needs to protect his Little Boy."

Merle comes closer and envelopes his arms around Lucas' broad shoulders, pressing his nude body against his half naked one, Lucas paws at Merle's ass while he nipped at the mans neck. Merle shoved his boys underwear and grabbed his ass with possessiveness.

Merle kisses his boy with passion as he picked him up and impailed him on his cock, "Ah fuck, Daddy please." Lucas whined in between breathes, Merle started to rail Lucas without thinking.

The boy clung to his Daddy like his life depended on it.

Minutes later Lucas is in the shower with an ass full of cum, while Merle got dressed with a smile, after Lucas got outta the shower , he got dressed and ate breakfast with Merle before going to work via his truck, Merle went to work on his bike.

Lucas still doesnt know why Merle has twin lighting bolts on his bike nor has he ever met any of Merle's friends, Lucas thinks hes gonna ask him when he gets home. Lucas arrived at the contracting site with the thought of his uncle in mind. Jared, one of Lucas' friends, confronted him about his gruff attitude when he said hello this morning.

Lucas explains that he has a terrible past and that he has to see the person who gave him a terrible past for a couple of days, Jared understood what that meant and left it at that. Lucss finished some welding projects for Chevy and sent 'em to the packaging area for the roll cage bars to be sent out.

---- end of the day ----

It was around 10 o'clock when Lucas got home, ryeman barked up a storm when he hear the door open, "Hey baby boy, wanna go potty?" Lucas asked his precious dog, the boxer ran out side, pissed and took a shit before clambering up the stairs again to run into the trailer.

Lucas found Merle in bed on his phone, the clicks of the iPhone distracted the man, he didn't even noticed Lucas getting undressed in front of the bed, Merle looked up with a smile on his face, "Hey doll, why dont you get your pretty little butt over here and give me a kiss."

Lucas smirked as waltzes over to the right side of the bed where Merle was sitting, the man wrapped his arm around Lucas' hips, leaning forward a little to kiss the other mans hairy stomach. "Who ya textin'?" Lucas asks softly.

"Mm, Daryl is wondering what we're doing tonight." Merle murmured into his boys stomach, minutes later they settled down and fell asleep on each other with Ryeman at the foot of the bed.

The next day is the day of the flight.

The morning of is when Lucas packs his and Merle's bags, the Dixon brother still slept naked on his stomach while Lucas got ready, the boy stared at the rednecks pearl white ass, Lucas crawls onto the bed, prowling forward as he dragged his tongue along the mans hairy thighs up to his butt.

Lucas bites his butt cheek softly before sitting up and planting his crotch on his ass, "Merle baby, you gotta wake up, its almost time to go." Lucas whines, the man underneath him groans and opens his eyes then rolled over under Lucas.

The boy was still in his underwear whilst the Dixon brother was naked as the day he was born, "Ooh, baby you are as beautiful as a God." Merle praised in his scratchy morning voice, his erection was pressing against Lucas' own.

The boy smiled and softly kissed Merle's lips, "C'mon hon, we gotta get to the airport in time for the flight." Lucas said as he got off of his man, he walked over to their duffle bags and zipped them up before getting dressed in 0.2 seconds then walking over to the front door to set them down until they left.

Merle walked out into the hall fully dressed with his hard on still very prominent through his pants, "Hey boy, c'mere, gimme a little blowie real quick."

Merle said suggested, Lucas complies quick and easy as he walks over to Merle, getting on his knees.

Merle's fly and button was down and undone already Lucas noticed, the boy took Merle's cock in his mouth a moment later, slurping and sucking with fervor, "Ahh fuckin' A, boy yous really into it aintcha?" Merle asked in between breaths.

Lucas did the thing with his tongue that has Merle gasping and using his fingers to graple a fist in Lucas' hair, bucking forward into the warm, wet cavern.

Moments later Merle cums inside of Lucas' mouth while he held his head taught against Merle's crotch. He lets go when he feels Lucas swallow his load, the boys coughs a little before standing up to kiss Merle's lips.

"Come on M, we gotta get on the flight soon, lets go." Lucas said as he grabbed their bags and ran out the door to his truck, throwing the bags in the back of the chevy before getting into the truck, Merle follows Lucas into the truck and starts blasting some sick fuckin' tunes.

They headed for the airport, got there on time and made it through security without any fussing along with getting to their gate just before they called for people to get on. Ten minutes into their flight is when they both got comfortable enough for the 4 hour filght ahead of them.

#fanfic #my fanfic #my fanfiction #the 5th anniversary

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