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selenelavellan · 8 years ago

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In The Beginning It Was A Nice Day

Parents AU

Dirthamen and Kel belong to @feynites

Selene loved her job.

She loved her students, loved her workload, loved her commute through their small town, especially now, when the leaves were just beginning to change their colors.

And she loved her sons most of all.

True, she had...concerns, when she first realized she was pregnant, especially given the way she'd run from their biological father. But she had no regrets about keeping them, and she wouldn't trade them for anything.

In fact, they were the reason she'd accepted a job at this school, rather than continuing her own education. She could always go back to getting her PhD later, after all. But this was a highly prestigious institute, with a fantastic reputation for both elves and mages, and guaranteed acceptance for her children means more opportunities for them in the future. She couldn't pass that up.

And the pay was good too. Enough for her to afford a nice two bedroom town home for them to live in, and provide all the essentials. Sometimes she can even afford to spoil them a bit, if a bonus comes through or she finds a good sale on food that she can store long term.

Each morning she gives them each a kiss on the forehead, and walks with them to the schools library before going to her own classroom to get ready for the day. It's a nice, quiet life.

A few months into the new school year, a new student enters Selenes basic math class.

Her name on the attendance list reads 'Kelvallastheneras Evanuris'. The first time Selene calls her name, she's corrected with a pointed “Just Kel, please”, and makes a note in the margins to remind herself for the next time.

Normally, new students have a gap in knowledge between what was taught in their old curriculum, versus what's being taught in the current school, and Selene is used to doing extra sessions or spending her breaks assisting the student in catching up in whichever way works for them. Selene is surprised to discover over time, that Kel has no such gap. In fact, she seems to have a firm grasp of all the principles she has planned for the basic math class already.

Selenes nails tap gently against her desk as she looks over Kels latest quiz during her lunch break. It's a shame to waste a students time, really. And Kel seems so bored during half the class, this could be just what she needs. Taking her favorite purple pen, Selene writes next to the large red A , “Please see me after class”.

“Am I in trouble?” Kel asks, still holding her quiz as she adjusts her book bag over her shoulder. “I didn't cheat.”

“You're not in trouble, and I know you didn't cheat,” Selene assures her. “I've noticed your grades in this class have all been far above average, actually. Do you find my class easy?”

“...Is that a trap? I say yes, and you're insulted and give me more homework, I say no and you accuse me of cheating or lying?”

Selene blinks. That's not a level of pessimism she expected from someone so young, even with puberty looming on their horizons. “No, Kel, it's not a trap. I just thought you might perhaps be bored in this class.”

“Well, yeah, a little. But that's not your fault, it's just because it's math, right?”

“Math can be fun, too!” Selene perks, a bit too excitedly “Numbers and theorems can open up all sorts of possibilities into whatever fields you might also be interested in. It's not a limited subject, and I think you'd really benefit from being in a more advanced class. Something that could challenge you!”

“Oh. Uh. No, thank you.”

Selene frowns. “Why not?”

“I just...don't want to?” Kel shrugs apologetically as the next group of students file into Selenes classroom. “Thanks for the offer though, I guess. Can I have a late pass for my next class?”

Selene sighs as she fills out the appropriate form and tears it off to hand to Kel. “Just think about it, please?”

Kel nods, but Selene's seen that nod on enough students to know she's already made up her mind, and feels a deep sense of disappointment as the elven child leaves.

Maybe a different angle could work...

–

“Are you two friends with Kel?” Selene asks as she buckles the twins into the backseat of her car.

“Not really,” Felasel shrugs as he thumbs through the fourth Harry Potter book for the hundredth time.

“Why not?”

“She's in a different circle than we are. She's taking the athletics electives.”

“You two are athletic,” Selene points out as she turns on the ignition.

“Yeah, but we're speedy athletics. We do track and field and swim for gym class, and she's like....weightlifting and wrestling and junk,” Darevas argues. “That's a whole other thing.”

“Sure, right,” Selene nods, carefully pulling out of the parking lot. Sports aren't really something she's knowledgeable about. Sporting events weren't really a thing with her clan, unless it was for a cultural event like the Arlathvhen, and even then she usually opted out. She should probably look into them soon, she's noticed Darevas's growing interest on watching games during his TV time. Sports have registration fees and physicals and uniforms and other things that require money, especially for startup. She should start budgeting for it now, to be safe.

“Can we go to the big library downtown again soon?” Felasel asks when they stop at the red light.

“We can go this weekend, once you two have finished your homework,” Selene smiles.

“Can we go to the pizza place next to it too? With the cheesy garlic bread?” Darevas chimes in excitedly.

“So long as your room is clean, first.”

The two let out a unanimous groan, and Selene tries to cover her chuckle with a fake cough as she makes her turn.

She'll just have to find another way to get Kel into the correct class, then...

–

Selene stops by the office after dropping the twins in the school library the next day. Requests the contact form for Kel, and writes down her parental contact information. She doesn't like going over her students heads like this, normally, but Kel still seems so bored in her regular class, and Selene just knows she'd be happier with a challenge.

She makes the call during the lunch break, but it goes to voicemail after only two rings. Still, the name on the message matches what she has written down, so she leaves her own number, her name, and asks for a return message, and makes sure to mention that it's regarding their daughter Kel.

They text her later that evening with a response, and they arrange to meet for a parent-teacher conference that Friday.

–

Kel continues passing her exams and getting her homework correct, and Selene continues leaving her encouraging notes in her purple pen on the papers she hands back.

Friday comes, and her class empties as the final bell rings.

Selene is just finishing wiping down the dry erase board when someone knocks on her classroom door.

She can't remember the last time someone knocked on a door around her, between her open door policy at the school and the lack of available privacy you're afforded as a single parent.

“Ms. Selene?” Asks the stranger.

Oh, Selene realizes. This must be Kels father.

“Yes. You must be Mr. Evanuris?” She smiles, holding out her hand and trying not to stare. He is...very pretty, she realizes. He's in a dark, very well-tailored suit, not uncommon for the parents at this school, but somehow she's still distracted by the strong jawline and the soft skin of his fingers as he shakes her hand in greeting.

This is a professional meeting, she reminds herself. And it is very unprofessional to get distracted by your students stupidly attractive parents.

“Please, have a seat,” she manages, gesturing to the chair she had pulled up earlier to place on the opposite side of her desk.

“Thank you,” he nods as he takes up her offer.

Selene takes her own chair, pulling out a small collection of some of Kels more notable worksheets and tests. “Your daughter, Kel, is a wonderful student, and a delight to have in class,” Selene starts. “But she seems bored in class often, and I worry that she isn't achieving everything she could be.”

“I see. So is this regarding Kels participation grade in some way?”

“No, no. Kels grades are fine, and she always answers when she's called on. I asked you here because I'd like your permission to transfer your daughter into my advanced mathematics class.”

“Have you discussed this with her?” he asks.

Selene hesitates. “Yee-es...”

“Did she say that was something she would be interested in?”

“Well, no...”

“Then I am unsure why you have called me here.”

Selene leans back in her chair, relaxing her arms into her lap “Your daughter is incredibly smart, Mr. Evanuris. She's bored, in class. That means it's wasted time, wouldn't you rather she was doing something that challenged her, or pushed her in some way, rather than coasting by? Don't you want the best for her?”

“My daughter is pushing herself adequately, already. Just because it is not happening in your classroom, does not mean it is not happening. Kel has an assortment of interests that are her own, and she freely indulges and pushes herself in them as she sees fit. I am not going to force her into taking on a heavier workload, when she has already told you no herself.”

“You can't really be so lenient that you let your 10 year old have entirely free reign over her life choices, can you?”

Mr. Evanuris just raises an eyebrow. Selene sighs. “Will you please just discuss it with her? The workload is genuinely not much more than what she is already doing, and significantly less of it is busy work. In the advanced class, I'm allowed to permit more trust to the students, and we don't have to linger on the same topic for nearly as long as we do in the basic classes. If Kel would genuinely prefer to stay in her current class, fine, I will stop pushing this. But I think this could help get her interested again, if she would just give it a shot. And besides,” Selene points out “If she takes the advanced class, it puts her ahead in her math credits, so she'll have an additional free period in later semesters to take something relating more to her other interests, if she so chooses.”

That, at least, gets his attention. He pauses for a few moments before nodding and standing. “I will discuss it with her, and get back to you.”

Selene stands and shakes his hand, smiling again “Thank you so much, Mr. Evanuris. And thank you for your time.”

“It was...not as unpleasant as I expected,” he acknowledges before taking his leave.

Selenes not entirely sure how to take that, but it's a chance, at least.

–

“Mama, come ooooon,” Drawls Felasel, tugging her by one wrist up the steps of the just barely opened library. The downtown location is a bit of a drive from their home, almost an hour, which means they had to get up extra early to be here now, but it's got five floors and is therefore much bigger than their local library. Selene laughs and shakes her head as she follows her sons up the stairs and into the building.

“Where would you like to go?” She asks them quietly as they step inside.

“Fantasy!” They announce in unison.

Selene hums “Alright, but we have to make a cut through the mathematics section first.”

They each groan, but comply as they take the stairs up to the second floor, following as quietly as two ten year olds can while Selene carefully plucks a few books on mathematical and magical theory off the shelves to keep herself occupied for the next few hours.

The twins are all but vibrating with excitement as they get into the elevator for the top floor, where the fantasy books are housed. Once the doors have parted, they're off like a shot, and Selene has to stop herself from calling out for them to walk, don't run.

It's not hard to find them again at least, as she quickly strides in their direction, books still tucked beneath her arm.

They've snatched down the newest volume of an ongoing series of books, something with magic and horsemen of the apocalypse and some prophecy accidentally sort-of undone by a bookstore owning angel and a demon who inadvertently listens to too much Queen in his car. Selene's read the first few, and quite liked them.

The two plop down onto one of the larger recliners, squeezing next to each other to read the latest exploits. Selene settles onto another chair, pulling out a small notepad from her purse for notes as she begins reading the first of her own book of theories.

A few hours later, and several other people have come and gone from their little corner, until two familiar faces pop up.

“Hello,” Greets Mr. Evanuris as he steps in front of her, snapping Selene out of her focus as she blinks, waiting for her brain to switch gears.

“Oh, hello!” she finally manages “How are you doing?”

“I am well,” he responds. “Yourself?”

“I'm fine. Just spending the day out with my sons,” she smiles, nodding towards the chair the twins are still sitting in as they strike up a conversation with Kel.

“I see. I did not mean to interrupt, my apologies.”

“Oh, no, you're fine! We're just reading, really. Taking advantage of community resources and all that.”

He nods, glancing down at her books “I see you take your work seriously.”

“It's my passion. I try to keep up with current theories as they're released so I don't fall too far behind.”

“That makes sense.”

An awkward silence falls over the two of them. Mr. Evanuris turns around, and Selene could swear she sees Kel making a 'go on' motion towards him, before snapping back around to continue her conversation with Felasel and Darevas.

He turns back to her, hand briefly rubbing against the back of his neck before asking “Have you...seen any good movies lately?”

“Not really. I don't get out much, but we're looking forward to the latest Mass Effect film when it hits Netflix.”

“Ah. It was a good one.”

Selene nods, and catches him nervously glancing back to his daughter before she invites him to sit with her.

“Thank you, yes.” he says with a breath of relief.

Selene notes that he doesn't have any books with him, so she offers him the first of the ones she had brought down. “I'm pretty much finished with it already, if you're interested. Are you? I don't actually know very much about you Mr. Evanuris.”

“It is Dirthamen,” he offers, taking the book from her “And yes, I am interested. Thank you.”

Selene smiles and settles back into her chair to start her second book while Felasel snatches the first volume of their favorite series off the shelf for Kel.

–

After another couple of hours, the children wander back over, and Darevas asks if they can go get pizza now.

“Sure,” Selene smiles as she stands and stretches.

Dirthamen watches with interest as Kel does not go towards him, but moves with Selene and her sons as they head towards the elevator.

“Are you coming?” Selene calls at the highest volume she dares use in a library, yielding with ease to her sons unspoken invitation.

“Oh. I suppose so.” He acknowledges, standing and joining the rest of them as they crowd into the elevator.

“The cheesy bread next door is really good,” Darevas grins to Kel as they step back out on the bottom floor and Selene returns her books to the bins.

“Cool,” She nods, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

The five of them make their way out of the library and into the pizzeria next door, and end up snagging two booths. Selene raises an eyebrow suspiciously as the twins settle into one, and Kel shuffles her father into the other before joining them. Before she can ask about it, their waiter comes over for their drink order (and Darevas's enthusiastic order of the Cheese Bread appetizer). The waiter turns to Selene and Dirthamen, but Felasel pipes up with “They would like the good wine, please.”

“No, we wouldn't,” Selene interrupts. “I wouldn't, at least, just a water for me please.”

Dirthamen orders a sweet tea, and Selene slides into her side of the booth with a wary eye on her children. “I'm not sure what's gotten into them,” She sighs “I don't even drink at home.”

“I am sure they are just excited Kel accepted their invitation,” Dirthamen responds calmly, looking over the list of pizza toppings.

Selene is about to hum in acknowledgment before something strikes her about that.

“Their invitation to lunch, you mean?”

“Yes, and to the library.”

Selenes head slowly turns towards Felasel and Darevas, who duck behind their tall, propped up menus when they catch sight of her glare.

Caught in the act.

“They invited you and Kel to the library?”

“Of course. We would not be all the way out here if they had not,” Dirthamen assures her.

“...One moment please,” Selene mutters, as she whips out her phone. It doesn't take long for her to open up the group chat with her sons.

→ Is this a set up???

← Surprise!

→ I don't need to be set up! You two are grounded.

← :( :( :( :( :( :(

← Kel said he mentioned you were pretty, and you said he was too!

→ He is her father!

← And you're our mother so whats your point???

→ We are having a very long talk later.

← You should have gotten the wine. Wine is a date drink.

→ Where are you even learning these things????

← Internet..

← Internet.

“Is everything alright?” Dirthamen asks once the waiter has placed their drinks on the table.

“Yes. No-well, I mean-” She drags her hand down her face and tucks her phone back into her bag. “Yes, everything is fine. My sons imagination has just...gotten away from them a bit. My apologies.”

“I see,” Dirthamen nods, although the tone leads her to believe he doesn't actually understand at all.

Probably for the best.

Lunch goes smoothly after that, and Selene comes to find conversation with him goes easily once they have something to discuss. He talks about the book in the library, and they bounce their thoughts back and forth until they're both leaving with a list of other books and articles to read and get back to each other with.

Kel invites them back to their home after lunch, so Selene can pick up some of the recommended books and she can show the twins some of her own collection.

“Not today,” Selene responds, even though she actually would like to go. “The twins are grounded right now, so they're not allowed to friends houses,” the twins let out a long groan as Selene settles a hand onto each of their shoulders. “Maybe next week?” she offers, glancing over to Dirthamen, who startles slightly.

His cheeks tint a slight shade of pink, before he nods. “Next week would be wonderful,” he smiles. “I will provide lunch, since you paid for today.”

“Sounds great. Send me your address some time, and I'll bring them over.”

They all part ways then, heading back to their own vehicles. Selene is just making sure Felasels strap is buckling correctly when he pipes up with “So if you two get married, will I get my own room?”

“We're not getting married,” Selene insists. “Kel is my student, so seeing her father in a romantic context like that would be highly inappropriate. I could potentially lose my job for it.”

“Kel won't be your student next year though,” Darevas points out.

Selene pauses, at that.

“It's time to go home,” She says, even as her mind wanders.

It would probably still be inappropriate.

But....maybe a little less so.

She's got plenty of time to figure it out, at least.

#Parents AU #I guess?#Dirthalene #Selene Lavellan #Darevas #Felasel #Kel #Dirthadad #I've been wanting to do an AU with a modern Dirthadad and Single Parent Selene for a little while now #So this was nice to finally get out #Kudos to anyone who picks up the Good Omens reference #(It's not subtle)#(One of the perks of making up worlds means I get to make up a world where Good Omens is a series rather than a standalone WHAT POWER)

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trashboatprince · 4 years ago

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I’m working on a main story for my Reverse Omens au, but for right now, I really wanted to do something with Aziraphale the Demon opening up his shop.

So, here’s a little something while I work on the main story for Sour Blessings. I had to do a bit of research for this, so you’re welcome.

Summery: The opening for A.Z. Fell’s Antiquities and More is on Friday, however, the demon Aziraphale may have to put that opening on hold, indefinitely, due to an unexpected promotion.

Not if the angel Crowley has anything to say about it!

Warning: Reverse Omens, the other demons and angels are not swapped, these two fools are in love but they won’t admit it so it’s getting the ship tag.

Aziraphale (formally Azrafel) is a half-deaf, white cat demon, Crowley (formally Samael) is a rainbow boa angel and the one who tempted Eve (There is a reason for this!).

Rewrite of the infamous Bookshop deleted scene.

On with the fic!

Can’t Have That Now, Can We?

Aziraphale, formally known as the demon Azrafel until he stole back his original name, was more excited than he had been in years.

Finally, after so many hiccups, missions, and simply being absentminded about his goal, he was opening up his shop! Well, not officially, he planned on being open to the public on Friday, but he was allowing for guests today!

So far, the only person invited is his dear angel, Crowley, who he knows will be here promptly at a quarter past eleven, the redhead was also so good with time.

Proudly, Aziraphale looked up at the sign that had just been installed this morning. A. Z. Fell’s Antiquities and More, it read with a shine of silver paint on a dark blue background. It was beautifully fitting for the man-shaped being, fitting his color aesthetics. He practically purred in delight as he stepped through the doors, happily hearing a jingle of a bell above his head.

The demon hummed to himself a song from an opera he had attended a few days ago, carefully lining up some of his collection he had noticed he bumped out of place. His shop was going to house his massive collection of antiques, a term he had adored using for the collection since it was first coined during the 1400’s in references to ancient artifacts.

He finally had a place for all his stuff, things he had hidden all over the world, bought, traded, stolen, made himself, gifts from his favorite snake, all in one place now! Sure, it took him centuries to finally settle down, but 1831 was a good enough time, right?

Well, there had been an attempt a few centuries ago, back in the 1500’s, but it had been a bookshop next to a printing shop that had printed a book he really had wanted, but a mission to China had prevented that. And had also resulted in him not paying rent on the shop and having gotten in trouble with Hell for something stupid, he couldn’t pay the rent and lost the first shop.

Anyway, he happily likes to forget that happened and has instead tried again! Same location too, second time’s the charm!

Aziraphale wasn’t finished setting up though, he still had more stuff in storage that he needed to bring in, but his angel had said he’d help up with bringing that in. He wouldn’t help with the organizing though; Crowley knew from experience that Aziraphale had a way of organizing his clutter in a way that worked for the cat. Especially when it came to certain collections, like his massive library and his collection of rare snuff boxes.

As he carefully aligned a bronze statue of a rather specifically detailed and accurate horse he got as a joke gift from Crowley, he heard the jingle of the bell above his front door. He cupped his hand over his left ear, trying to hear who it was, couldn’t be Crowley, it was too early still.

Then he smelled the scent of festering mold and swamp scum, along with other unpleasant things, and he felt his skin prickle.

With a held back sigh, Aziraphale put a fake smile on his face, turning to face his fellow demons, hoping his beard hid the fact that his mouth twitched. “Hastur, Ligur, to what do I owe the pleasure of two Dukes of Hell in my shop?”

The two demons stood by the open doors, dressed in rather shoddy clothing, meant more for the lower class than the higher, as Aziraphale himself was dressed to blend in with. However, it was good to note that this time they actually wore clothing that would help them blend in, rather than how they dressed the last time they ‘visited’ Aziraphale. He would never forget those sins against nature.

Neither of them smiled, they just stared, before Hastur stepped forward. “We’ve orders from Below for you.” He ground out, making Aziraphale raise an eyebrow.

“Orders? Strange, normally Hell just burns a message in one of my books or screams at me from an envelope nowadays, don’t usually send messengers to tell me what my next job is.

“It’s not really… orders.” Ligur spoke up, waving a hand, completely bored of this already. “’s more like you’re getting somethin’.”

Aziraphale blinked, cupping a hand over his ear again. “Come again?”

Hastur made a face. “Think of it as… bad news, but not really bad news, more like good news, but we can’t say that shit, so it’s bad news, but not that bad-”

“I… I got it.” The cat sighed, holding up a hand. “Is it about the second revolution in France?” He had sent in a wordy letter to Hell about how he had helped kickstarted that event, even though he hadn’t actually done so. He and Crowley had taken a trip to the south of France and got dreadfully wasted and somehow ended up on the Isle of Capri.

“More like a bunch of things you’ve done, Azrafel.” The chameleon demon spoke and ignored the face Aziraphale pulled, hearing his old name. It has been centuries, and no one cared that he stole back his angel name, they just ignored him, thinking he was edgy or something. “Apparently, you’ve done your job to such extremes that Hell is oddly impressed.”

This can’t be good.

“And because of this, you’re going down to Hell, promotin’ you back to Downstairs. Heard you might get a cushy job runnin’ the torture department, lucky bastard.”

Aziraphale blinked, trying to register what this meant. “But… I’m opening this antique shop on Friday. If Master Hatchard can make a go of it, then I think I can really…”

“Hm,” Hastur pondered for a moment, “actually, I think that’s an idea, whoever replaces you up here can use this place as a base of operations.”

This got a look of disgust from the cat demon. “Use my shop?” The nerve! No one was allowed to use his shop; this was for him! And maybe Crowley, because he knows that wily angel will also laze about wherever Aziraphale is staying.

Neither demon seemed to give two shits about what Aziraphale thought of this. “You’re bein’ promoted,” the frog demon shrugged, “you get to go back home.”

“Can’t imagine why anyone who wanna spend more than five minutes on this waste of space.” Ligur commented, look at a bell jar on a shelf, containing a taxidermized scene of insects dancing at a ball. The chameleon on his head licked its lips.

“Azrafel’s been on this shithole for almost six thousand years,” his companion replied, “that’s some impressive patience, I can’t stand doin’ tasks up here that take longer than a day. Just plant bad ideas in a human’s head and let ‘em do all the work. Still, gotta give kudos where kudos is due…”

He dug into the pocket of his grubby coat, pulling out a box, covered in stains that Aziraphale really didn’t want to know the origins of. “Apparently, this is for all your bad work.” He said in a tone that clearly didn’t hide his jealousy and bitterness.

Hastur opened the box and Aziraphale stared at a rather lovely, shiny medal. He had seen this kind before, proudly worn by members of the Dark Council.

When they said he was being promoted… oh, oh bugger, this was a Promotion.

“I don’t want it.” Aziraphale spoke without much thought. He glanced up and nearly screamed, because right behind Hastur and Ligur, was a redheaded angel, giving a cheery wave.

The grandfather clock off to the left happily showed that it was exactly a quarter past eleven in the morning. It was the worst possible time for Crowley to show up.

With a skip in his snake-skinned step, Crowley turned a corner down a street in Soho, a box of the finest chocolates under his arm. He had dolled himself up for today, putting on his finest dark gray suit, his pink shirt clear and ironed, and a new hat sat happily on his head, decorated with a gold-plated apple blossom.

It was over-the-top, but the snake-eyed angel was known for being flashy and showboat-y with his appearance.

He spotted the shop at the corner and picked up the pace, mentally counting down the seconds. He loved being exactly on time, but he also loved putting Aziraphale on edge when he was a few minutes late.

Crowley got right up the steps at exactly 11:15, noticing that not only were the doors opened, but two figures were standing in the doorway, with Aziraphale stared past them. And right at Crowley, with a look the screamed ‘oh bugger’.

The demon licked his lips, stammering as he tried to speak to the two strangers, who Crowley hadn’t quite realized were demons. “B-But only I can properly thwart the good deeds of the angel Cr-Samael!”

Crowley stopped smiling, tilting his head, eyebrow raising over his dark shades. He held up the package, smiling, and mouthed ‘chocolates’ at his best friend.

“I don’t doubt that,” the blond-haired demon spoke, “whoever replaces you will be as bad an enemy to Samael as you are. Baphomet, maybe.”

The angel looked horrified and disgusted. He looked towards Aziraphale and mouthed ‘Baphomet?! Baphomet’s a wanker!’ The gray-haired demon shifted on his feet, trying to ignore Crowley to not draw attention to him.

“Samael’s been here just as long as I have, and he’s wily! And cunning, and brilliant, and oh…” Aziraphale was a bit flushed in the face and Crowley perked up, smiling brightly.

“It almost sounds like you like him.” Hastur spoke in a tone that was clearly not pleased with this.

“I loathe him!” Aziraphale shouted, though his face still burned red. “And, despite myself, I respect a worthy opponent! Which he isn’t because he’s an angel, and I cannot respect a demon. Or like one!” He tacked on quickly.

Hastur actually smirked, crossing his arms. “That’s the attitude that Hell likes to hear. I can see why they’re bringin’ you back.” He stepped forward, pinning the medal to Aziraphale’s dress jacket, the shorter man holding his breath at the bad smell coming off of Hastur. A quick glance over the other’s shoulder let Aziraphale know that Crowley was out of sight, hopefully he knew to stay away until these two were gone.

“So…” Aziraphale started, “we’re going straight back, now? Before the grand opening?”

“Ehh… soon.” Hastur waved a hand. “Got a job to do, then we’ll be back for you.”

The job was a simple corruption on, convince a human in charge of a respectable pub to take in bribes, sell illegal content under the counter, and convert his pub into a drug den in later years, that should do the trick.

And to help with that, they decide to plant things in the backroom of the pub for the owner to find, miracled with a temptation to put the pieces together. Ligur stood outside the backroom’s door while Hastur moved to remove the contents of his pockets in the room.

He pauses, however, hearing voices outside of an open window.

“Are you certain that we are unobserved,” it was the voice of the angel Samael, “of glorious being of God’s divine will?”

There was a strange, echoing voice that followed right after, layered as if multiple voices spoke at once. “No one is listening, oh angel Samael, the Lefthand of God.”

Blinking, Hastur steps onto a crate under the window and, using his true eyes, peeks out the window, only the top of the head of his frog looking into the alley behind the pub. He could see Crowley, standing before a cloaked figure in white, the latter having their back turned to the window. He slipped down a bit to not be seen, but still remained close to hear.

“Curses.” The angel hissed. “If only I could understand why my blessed plans are always so brilliantly thwarted! It’s as if the forces of Hell have a champion here on Earth who contaminates my blessings! Who overlaps their own dark influences on my own good ones! Who thwarts me… thwartingly…”

Unbeknownst to the demon on the other side of the wall, the cloaked figure that Crowley was speaking to was actually just a tailor’s dummy from the tailor shop just next door. Crowley was practically tickle-me-pink with delight of how much fun it was doing this. He absolutely loved when he got to flex his acting skills.

He continued the act, putting on the heavenly voice once more. “Why, Mister Crowley, you must not be downcast. I hear news that will bring joy to you and all the powers of Heaven! They do say as how the demon Azrafel, your nemesis, is being sent back to Hell!”

Crowley knew he was acting slightly to broadly, but it was the style of the time, so it was necessary.

“Can this be true?” He continued in his normal voice. “I was going to throw myself into a pit of Hell Fire in my despair at once more being beaten by the demon Azrafel! But such excellent news! Only Azrafel knows my ways well enough to…”

“Thwart them?”

“Exactly. Now, let us retire to church, and pray to the success of good on this Earth, thanks to Hell’s foolishness!”

Hastur heard the other walking off before he moved out of the room, well, he might have to have a conversation with Aziraphale it seems.

“So, I’m… not going anywhere?” Aziraphale asked, mismatched eyes staring at the two other demons, the pupils growing with possible hope.

“Change of plans.” Hastur grumbled. “We need you here, in this shop, battling good.”

Ligur slapped the Aziraphale on the back a few times, nearly knocking him over. “Carry on battlin’ that pain in the ass angel. I’m sure Hell’ll understand that you’re needed here more than down there.”

“Keep the metal.” Hastur poked at it against Aziraphale’s chest, making him wince at the pressure of the jab.

“But I don’t understand…” The cat demon blinked, suddenly realizing he was all alone in the shop now, the scent of sulfur starting to mellow out. With a snap of his fingers, the shop suddenly smelled of flowers, thanks to the lovely potted plant that just showed up next to him.

With a heavy sigh, he shook his head, moving around a shelf to try and return to his previous task of worryingly set up his collection.

“Well, that was fun.”

Aziraphale yelped, jumping a foot in the air as his hair and beard puffed up from the shock. He turned, finding a certain angel, basking happily in a chair that had been swiped from the King of Spain in the late 1300’s. “Crowley… w-what are you doing here?” He asked, approaching the redhead, who just smiled, holding up the box of chocolates from behind.

Aziraphale chirped in joy, taking the box. “Oh, yes, thank you, darling!”

“’s nothin’, kitty cat. I think you deserve them now than you did before those two idiots showed up.”

“How… much of that did you see?”

Crowley shrugged before getting out of the chair, stretching. “Well, I arrived to see that you were stuck dealin’ with two idiots, and that you needed help. So, I may or may not have helped you out of a bit of trouble, again. Nice medal, the Dark Council kind? Wow, that’s a hell of a promotion, kitty cat.”

Aziraphale frowned and removed the metal from his jacket, tossing it towards Crowley, who caught it with ease. “I’ve done so well at my job that I was promoted to join them! I mean, it’s not the worst promotion I could get, in fact, any demon would give up their whole… well… everything to be part of that group! But I must admit, it would be too much, I’d be allowed to do whatever, but I wouldn’t be able to work and stay on Earth.”

“Sounds like a shit job to take, Aziraphale.” Crowley commented, looking over the metal before dropping it into a clay pot. “But hey, you get to stay here!”

“For some reason…” Cat eyes turned, staring directly at snake ones, hidden behind dark lenses. “What did you do?”

Crowley grinned brightly. “Oh, just pulled off some theatrics.” He wiggled his fingers and Aziraphale groaned. “I told you I was good at this! I should join a theater, get my name out there! I’ll even do those boring, sad Shakespearean plays you like so much!”

“Uhg.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes before looking at Crowley, smiling. “Still, thank you for helping me today, darling. Now, how about the two of us enjoy this delectable box of goodies you got me, I have a lovely red that we can drink alongside them in the back, found it while bringing things in the other day.”

“Sounds delightful, kitty cat.”

END

Well, this was a lot of fun to write!

In case you wanna know what they look like, Aziraphale looks like Martin from Prodigal Son (except well dressed in a light gray and dark blue Regency outfit), and Crowley looks like David’s portrayal of Richard II (in a dark gray and pink Regency outfit).

Hastur and Ligur look like characters from Oliver Twist haha.

In case anyone was wondering why Aziraphale owns an antique shop, it was because as much as I love the bookshop still being part of a Reverse Omens au, I also really loved the idea of going off the little fact that book Aziraphale also collects old snuff boxes and it went from there that he just collects all sorts of things.

Oh, and Hastur left Aziraphale on Earth cause if he's really the only one who can 'stop' the Heavenly might of Samael, the angel with the title of Destroyer, well... yeah, might as well leave him to deal with that mess.

Thanks for reading! As always, drabbles are open!

#good omens #reverse omens #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #hastur #ligur #john's drabbles

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sassysnowperson · 5 years ago

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Tagged by the wonderful @pidgeonkatie, many thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble!

Author Name:

SassySnowperson on Ao3! Consistency in branding :) Well, I do have the one fic that I published under the pseud of K-2SO, because the idea of actually having that for the author name of a wildlife documentary with the conceit of K-2SO narrating it made me really happy. It still makes me happy.

Fandoms You Write For:

I'd say like 95 percent of my stuff is Star Wars. Actually, you know what? Let's math this sucker.

I have 107 works, and nine of them are NOT tagged with some sort of Star Wars tag. So that's…

About 92 percent Star Wars. I was close! For those of you that are curious, the non-Star Wars properties I've written are: Sailor Moon, Good Omens, MCU, Marvel, Captain Marvel, Russian Doll, Mummy/Wonder Woman (one fic, a crossover), and Leverage.

Where You Post:

Ao3 forever and always, sometimes I do ficlets on tumblr.