#Khushi better apologize to that man

[sideeffectsofhavingnolife]

IPKKND S:1 EP-4

I don't know why but I feel strangely exhausted today. Eh! Just one of those days.

Fourth Episode of Iss pyaar ko kya naam doon, here we come

"Maine tumse pehle bhi kaha hai, apni aukaat me raha karo" Sir, what?!

We just started and he's got her beat again. Let my girl vent once. I want her to say some real ugly stuff, he deserves it.

"Kyu... Kya kiya maine? "This bitch! Look at his smug face.

Girl, stop clutching your Kurta and try to snap back at least.

There he goes, Score 4:0

Yeah, sure! Follow him and preach about God. Definitely the next best course of action.

Look at him talking about dard, you're not the only one who has endured pain in life, buddy, it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole or to harass women.

I thought the speech would be about him being a dick the last time they met and possibly a threat of lodging a harassment complaint.

But go off, Khushi, tell him how big and universal God is, whom Arnav doesn't even believe in. Seems like it should work.

Damn! I was just being sarcastic but looks like it actually worked, he looks pissed.

Where are you even scurrying off to? Oh right! She has to apologize to a lot of people.

Fuck! I knew that the fashion show footage would be on the news but I didn't predict that Arnav would do it to take revenge.

Lol, he cares more about a girl who made a lousy speech than his own company's reputation.

I can't say this enough, the sister and the dad are the most sweetest.

Who was the groom, anyway? Are we ever gonna meet him?

Oh, she mentioned the missing pearls.

I feel bad for my girl, sexual harassment is not a joke, it can be so traumatizing.

Yay! The return of 'Laard Governer'.

Did this man just called him 'bhai'

"Bhai, navratre chal rahe hai" same here dude, perfectly matched the timing.

Let's not oversell, Khushi.

You barely made a dent and it still made him mad.

"Chote log aksar aukaat se bada mooh kholte hai" There's no end to this shit.

This guy seems really close to Arnav. Wonder what's their deal?

We are in for a dance sequence, I guess.

Or more like casual fun.

The mother saw, she is gonna be even more upset.

Not the freeze with the broom right in her face.

Mom! Come be a part of this.

Yes, coax her in. I want to spend some good moments with the mother, I feel like she has been sulking from the very start.

That's right! collective Bua slander is what we live for in this house.

"Aap hi ki beti hu na?"

Let's go! Be the wholesome family you all deserve.

I already know the dad's gonna be a part of it. So stop with the tense music.

Aghh this Bua needs to shut the fuck up and get out of the house.

Why is your head aching Bua? Aap ne hi to sabke sar me dard kar rakha hai.

Thanks Dad! Keep your daughter away from this poisonous bitch.

What's with this nosy caterer? I guess we are not done with our toxicity quota of the day yet.

Somebody shoot this motherfucker down, please.

That's your signal, Khushi. Tear this man a new one.

Nice, so that's her thing, she is good with accounting stuff.

The dad is so proud of her as well.

I wish the sister was here too but she is stuck making chai for the Bua at home.

What a weird shooting set! The fake stars, disco balls, and a backdrop that looks like someone upscaled a screenshot of a Google image. Not to mention the bad lighting. Like what exactly are you even shooting for?

Are those the dresses from the Runway? Because they look just as terrible.

He basically called him a kutta and I am not surprised.

But I don't understand why won't he just throw money at his face if he is so rich.

Are padaaa!

He shouldn't have challanged Arnav's childhood trauma.

Don't talk about people's mother disrespectfully in general, though.

Another one!

2 Crores for two slaps. I wish I got a deal like that. I'd be a billionare by now, if only my mother beating me counted.

Back to Bua ji. 🙄

Fuck! she'll discover the footage first. That's not gonna end well.

What the fuck is this news reporter?

No but why are the needless arrows and circles so absurdly accurate, I've seen it in real news channels.

The sister showed up as well.

Nah! There's no way any cameras were taking those close ups.

How did these people even saw this news?

Somebody in the crowd literally said "Dekh dekh, kaise chal rahi hai?" like what?

Of, course, they are standing in front of a television store but also how did they recognise her so fast? Am I the only person in the world who won't be able to tell even the most famous celebrity apart from a crowd. If they were not surrounded by a crew.

Holy shit! The reporter's voice over just scared me.

"Pakke hue aam ki tarah tapak jaati hai" Please! 😂I am guessing they paid the reporter or he has a personal vendetta against her because why would you deliver these statements with such intristic passion if not for money?

Okay, so it reallly picked up at the end. Excited to see what happens next. I mean I am sure this would lead to some sort of inciting incident but at the same time, it would reallly hurt to see Khushi's parents' dissapointed faces.

But let's not act like I didn't wish for more drama.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Ji JWB!

Love your blog, especially "There's more to her"!.

I wanted to know your perspective on the episode where Arnav and Khushi have a fight after she brings Shyam back into the house and she forgives him easily and even apologizes. I mean after everything they had been through he could have been more patient and given her the benefit of doubt but he repeated his old habits of saying hurtful things and asking her to go away. I have always kinda wanted them to show a atleast short sort of a redemption track here where Arnav tries to prove that he wouldn't go back to his old ways and would treat her better. Thoughts?

Hello,

First of all Arnav was not wrong. At all. Khushi just declared that a molester, manipulator, kidnapper and scammer should be with Anjali because he’s her “husband”.

It’s a fucked up logic.

If I was Arnav I would’ve broken up with her then and there. Shyam would’ve killed Arnav. He really would have. And yet Khushi brought him back?

This scene would’ve made sense if we saw Khushi is disgusted in taking this step, that she wants to scream against the unfairness of bringing back her molester.

But no, Khushi “believes” Shyam has changed due to a miscarriage and that is disgusting. That man literally molested her! Stalked her! Manipulated her family and tried to sexually assault her MULTIPLE TIMES along with the fact he tried to murder Arnav.

I don’t think Arnav was wrong at all.

I think this is the only scene where Arnav was thoroughly justified. Khushi deserved it. If she’s being an idiot and allowing such a man to be back in the house then even God can’t help her.

I understand Khushi giving Shyam a chance and not telling Arnav the truth pre wedding because she didn’t know who and what Shyam was. I also understand Khushi being pressurized by the family to bring back in Shyam from anjali.

In fact it would have been brilliant angst if we saw anjali fall on Khushi’s feet and beg her to bring back Shyam because she knows Arnav will only listen to Khushi.

Anjali could’ve turned violent towards Khushi and Akash could’ve snapped that if Khushi could tolerate Shyam for those months the two sisters lied to his family, then just a few months more to keep anjali alive.

The raizadas are quick to other away their daughters in law so it would’ve been brilliant if Arnav DIDNT know Khushi was bullied into bringing Shyam back and that it would be classic Arnav to gloss over the disgust khushi bottled down to get back Shyam.

What would’ve been great is that Khushi should’ve been waiting to tell Arnav how the situation got worse and Arnav misunderstanding and blaming her without knowing she wasn’t directly responsible and that his family bullied her and once again she was forced into the desires of others.

Cause that’s what always happened to Khushi.

In short I don’t think he made any mistake here. My thoughts about this scene is as in the short story called “Cold Faith,”

Thank you for sending in your question and for the love for the blog 💕

Best,

- JWB

[leila1]

OS: Laal

Nothing remained the same after that momentous Diwali night. What was just another festival for many was a turning point in the lives of two individuals unbeknown to their respective families. 

If it wasn't for their skillful charade it wouldn't take a sharp wit to figure out masked emotions. 

Arnav and Khushi were masters in concealing their feelings and when it came to dealing with each other it wasn’t free of competition. 

Another thing they shared in common was the love for their families and willingness to sacrifice in a heartbeat. Khushi could no longer delay her engagement, the last straw being pulled and Arnav couldnt deprive his family of the happiness his marriage brought, after being disappointed by one person that held all his hopes. 

The spirit of Diwali had worn off and everyone had moved on to the next event, understandably more exciting, the wedding of Nani’s beloved grandson. A day they had thought would never come. 

However, that night of red and gold was still fresh in the minds of Arnav and Khushi. 

As Khushi walked in Arnav’s room, their eyes had silently conveyed occurrences of the night in question. It was a strange place to be in, neither would dare to speak of it again, nor it was something to forget. After all she had worn his favorite colour.

Khushi with great discomfort, asked him again, for the ring. Something she hadn't fully accepted as hers. Arnav narrowed his eyes, from soft to teasing within seconds. 

“Mafi mango” 

He said picking the ring from the table. 

“So-” 

“Nah..kaan pakad ke” 

He felt victorious knowing he was winning this game. 

She held her ear with her hand and spoke again. 

“Sorry” 

Her eyes started to pool, tears threatening to spill any second. 

“Sorry” 

She said again, this time looking down. Every bit of pride that she had earlier displayed shredded to pieces. She really  didn’t want to do this. The ring could be trashed for all she cared. 

“Sorry” she spoke again with a lump in her throat. 

The glint of victory in Arnav’s eyes was now replaced with guilt. 

He stood up before she held her other ear too. 

“Sorry” 

She spoke unmoved. 

“Sssh” 

He silenced her, not being able to take the sight of her crying. Without another word Arnav silently placed the ring on her palm. 

Not being able to take his proximity Khushi stepped back and furiously tried to slip the ring on her finger. The tears in her eyes continued to spill as Arnav watched her every movement closely. 

Arnav grabbed her hand and tried to help her with the ring when she startled him by snatching it away. 

“Aap humein yeh angoothi nahi pehna sakte”   

She looked at him with a heavy heart. 

“Yeh humari sagai ki angoothi hai” 

Arnav could feel the ground slipping beneath his feet. He no longer had the energy to carry that tiny ring that suddenly felt heavy. 

Forgotten about the ring and apologies Arnav’s intense gaze held questions that Khushi didn’t have answers to. She could not understand why it even mattered to him when he clearly conveyed she held no importance for him. 

“Kisi ko pata kyun nahi hai tumhari sagai ke baarey mein” 

Arnav’s eyes stung as the question escaped his lips. 

Khushi’s silence urged him to ask again. He grabbed her by the shoulders and asked in agitation. 

“Bolo! Kab hui tumhari sagai” 

Khushi yelped in pain as the tears rolled down her cheeks. 

“Diwali ki raat ko” 

The hurt in her tone wasn’t missed by Arnav. This decision was made after his abandonment. 

He released her shoulders as guilt rushed through his heart, seeing the marks on her arms he closed his eyes. Somehow he always managed to hurt her when his intentions were the opposite. 

“Kya kar rahi ho” 

It was more of a plea, his begging to save the remnants of what could have been. 

“Aap kya kar rahe hain”

Khushi made no attempts at hiding the hurt in her tone.  Arnav turned around and shut his eyes. His tense back facing a vulnerable Khushi was of no help. 

For a mere second Khushi had some hope, that maybe he would open his heart in an attempt to mend both of theirs. She would break her engagement and give her heart to him, again. 

But she knew too well, this was a lost cause. The tale of love with happy endings was too good to be true. Particularly the one where he gave her his heart, for there were too many differences between them. Wasn’t him the one who constantly reminded her of that. 

When Arnav had gathered enough courage to speak and calmed himself he turned around only to see she was gone. 

He had failed her again. 

With a heavy heart Arnav walked out of his room. The air around him felt thick and the eerie silence was pricking every corner of his heart. 

“Yeh aap pe ziyada achi lage gi” 

His ears perked up at her voice. He walked further down the stairs to see Khushi and Lavanya in the hallway. She had been trying to give Lavanya the same red sari, however Lavanya was adamant. 

“Chamkeeli tum isme bohat sundar lag rahi thi..mujhe kyun de rahi ho” 

Arnav could not imagine anyone else in that attire. She owned his favorite colour that night and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Maybe in an alternate universe that night would have ended happily ever after, definitely not in their engagements to separate people. 

“Haan lekin yeh aap pe ziyada achi lage gi” 

Khushi made sure to look Arnav in the eye, who was now standing behind Lavanya. 

“Aur ab humne laal pehen na chod diya hai” 

Arnav felt stabbed in the heart. He knew full well where her words were coming from. Her rejection of his favorite colour felt like a betrayal, when it had never suited anyone better. 

“Aur humain acha lage ga agar aap pehanengi to” 

Khushi flashed a smile at Lavanya, one that didn’t reach her eyes. Lavanya hugged her and tears of mixed emotions rolled down Khushi’s cheeks. Lavanya’s eyes moistened at the thought of not spending every coming day with her best friend. Khushi had not only given the sari to her but everything associated with it as well. And now there was no reason to come back. 

As the two girls bid farewell, Arnav’s fists tightened and jaws clenched. He didn’t realize when his own eyes started to well.

How could she so easily give everything away to Lavanya like that? All that belonged to her. 

Lavanya turned around, surprised to see the back of the man she was in love with. 

With the retreating back of her friend and the tensed back of the man in question, she knew she had become nothing but a wall. A tear rolled down her cheek as she held the red fabric in her hands. Without having a word with Arnav, Lavanya walked away leaving the sari on the couch. 

She did not want to be the one stealing colour from the two most important people in her life. 

[tellywoodtrash]

ebss 25 + 26.04.19 lb

soz for the delay. bloody internet issues.

25.04.19

janhvi bhaabi has discovered kavya missing.

chotu is quite attached to 'bir' huh.

yes, good, more. all parents must apologize to their kids when they fuck up.

lol was dhruv waiting by the door the whole damn time while kabir took his car?

the construction of this house is so questionable. where do the cars go after they're driven up this path right up to the door???? you'd have to reverse it all the way back and take it and park somewhere else. inconvenient af.

omfg dhruv get over the scratch thing. you're rich af. you can afford to get it fixed. jfc.

god the chachi is wondering if kavya made off with her gehne. PRIORITIES.

lo aa gaya, mood kharab karne. SOMEONE PLEASE MURDER THIS FUCKER I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

............ she's just leaving her luggage there????? yeah you’re not gonna find it when you get back .

aw. the kid is cyoot.

OMG IS THAT TWINKLEEEEEEEEE, THE LITTLE SHIVIKA STAN?????????????????????/

IT ISSSSSSSSSSS, ISN'T IT??????????

lo ji, iske chips khareedne mein luggage toh gaya hi gaya, bachcha bhi gaya.

ok fwding through the panicked searching coz.... i can't. i just can't.

arush misses his papa. siiiiiiigh.

oh brother. why do kids (and cats) do this bs. give us a damn near heart attack.

ok fwd fwd fwd through kavya searching for arush and kabir/janhvi searching for kavya.

finally.

KABIR YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

janvi maybe evil but man is she the most practical and efficient person on this show.

more searching. fwd fwd fwd.

oh ho, is sab ke beech mein sexual tension.

6 se 7 saal? janhvi was saying he's 4. how old IS the kid????

“iske papa ka naam vyom malhotra hai.”

see what i mean? in less than a day with alllll this uthal-puthal and with her sister almost committing suicide, she still managed to dig into kavya's past and get the deets.

happy reunion.

or not.

oh hooooooooo she's putting it on arush, ki usne bataaya papa ka naam vyom malhotra hai. by godddddd kya game khelti hai.

lmao her face.

storyyyyyyyyy timeeee.

yeah yeah yeah we had all predicted this already. aage badho.

OH. THIS IS KAVYA??!?!?!? I THOUGHT IT WAS A WHOLE THIRD GIRL. WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO DIFFERENT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

oh vyom. you benevolent dumbass. biwi aur bachcha hai, you idiot, koi bike nahi ki chaabi chodh ke jaa raha hai dost ke liye, ki yeh aaj se teri hai. god.

bhaabi's getting mad at all of kabir's self-sacrificial talk of leaving the house. bitch she needs you to stay here to make the game interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!

kabir and kavya have been lulled into false sense of complacency and comforttttttt.

HER DELIVERY OF THE KABIR KA DOHAAAAAAA, JUST AMAZING. GIVE HER ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE AWARDS!!!!!! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!! INVENT NEW ONES AND GIVE HER!!!!!!

daaaaaaaaaaayum. what's that precap all about??????

26.04.19

THIS ASSHOLE. LITERALLY EVERYONE'S WORRIED ABOUT KAVYA AND ARUSH (why tho??? didn't anyone call janhvi or kabir till now to find out what happened? like.... it's been quite a few hours...) AND HE'S LIKE WHERE'S MY DINNER????

oh ho, kabir/janhvi were ignoring the calls and messages.

THIS FUCKER.

janhvi's defence of kavya is weak but delivered with the utmost conviction.

i don't care about anything this asshole has to say. (though i did lol at the saamp seedi metaphor.)

lol that tiny smile that escaped. i love herrrrrr.

time to face the music for your dumbassery, kavya.

kabir seems like a nice sort. kinda bland and easily manipulated emotionally, but ultimately a good dude.

also bhaari uncomfortable sexual tension between these two. it's obvious they both care about each other very much but don't know how to navigate these new romance-adjacent feelings.

yup, kavya's all tormented at her lady bits skipping a beat seeing him be this good with her kid.

god i'm so over this dude's weird issues. like kabir can still work with you, what does it matter who he married????

oh he's gotten an update on who sent him the putla. great. get out of my face now.

idhar khushi kumari gupta waala scene chal raha hai, dead relatives ko aasmaan mein dhoondne ki koshish.

shaadi ko bas ek saal hua hai???? i thought she'd been here for at least a few years...

“tum deewarein uthaate raho zaalim, ek din aayega, jab hum bulldozer chala denge.” ...... uh... how romantic???

major downgrade from the last poetry-spouting husband shrenu had.

ishaani still be creepin'.

ok kabir you're not making things better. pls go away.

man this chick is fucking wild. she's like it's fiiiiiine just leave kavya and marry meeeee.

good god, woman. just eat some ice cream and get over the disappointing man like the rest of us tragic hetero girls do.

janhvi is realllly planning to do big things with the "truth" huh.

draaaaaaaama.

OH SHIT. THE CRAZY BITCH JUMPED OUT. RUN KABIR. RUN.

great sasurji is gonna be the one to go find.

ishaani is reallly a fucking dumbass huh. she can't understand her own sister's games????

have faith in janhvi di, oh ye of 2 brain cells.

lmao even though janhvi di herself has less than zero faith in you.

ohhhhhh hooooooooo, kaafi lamba plan hai yeh.

“angrezon se kuch toh seekha jaaye. divide and rule.”

amazing.

lol “woh dekh baaraat. dance karte hain.”

oh boy. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

second show in a row where something horribly tragic has happened to shrenu's character and her sister as a kid.

THIS WILL BE THE RETRIBUTION THAT GAURI KUMARI SHARMA NEVER GOT TO TAKE AGAINST THE OBEROIS! MURDER THEMMMMM ALLLLLLLLL MA, BURN IT ALL DOWN!!!!!

dude seriously, every time she sings, i get terrified.

police sketch is just gonna be a red herring. for sho.

[what-the-pyaar]

Hi! So I remember a while back that you said that the dargah scene in IPKKND is what made u fall in love with the show but what are ur fave Arshi/non Arshi moments BEFORE the shaadi????

HI!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this question! And I wanted to get itperfect, so I took a long ass time getting back to you, and I’m sorry! 

So I’m gonna go by Season throughout my favorite scenes pre(forced) marriage track!!! I’m gonna TRY limiting myself to 3 scenes perseason, otherwise this will be a ridiculously long post!

Season1 

·I think everyone knows what this is! My number one scene fromthis entire show happened in season 1. Y’all know what I’m talking about?!?!THE ARZIYAAN SCENE! that scene is literally the reason I started watching notonly IPKKND but any tellywood show in GENERAL! like that is how much of animpact it had on me. I think it’s just so beautifully done, everything about itis perfection. And if you don’t understand, WATCH IT AGAIN. CAUSE IT’SAMAZING! 

·I think the second scene is also kind of an obvious one…THEFIRST EVER RABBA VE MOMENT!!!! Like I reacted the EXACT same way as Arnavbitwa. So like. Yea. I get it Arnav. Also kinda attached with this scene-Ireally enjoyed the first (real) interaction between Akash and Khushi. I felt asif it was really indicative about Akash and Payal’s future relationship,because Akash was acting like an older sibling towards Khushi.

·The entire Khushi trapped in a damaged building + Arnav savingher –So..this scene I have really mixed feelings about. Sometimes I love itand sometimes it makes me SOOOO angry. BUT the aspect of this small sequencethat never fails to make me happy, is Khushi grabbing on to Arnav’s lapels, andnot letting go even when he puts her in bed. I just adore that motif that theyhad going throughout the series-and it was especially significant in Season 7,when Khushi DIDN’T (and then Arnav’s smile when she woke up and did..ANYWAYS!CUTEST SHIT EVER)

·A scene I feel is really underrated in season 1 is the scene inthe mandir after the resignation. Ijust loved the whole, “bumping into each other, and spilling Kumkum everywhere”thing. And also Arnav getting all whiny when Khushi won’t let him talk to heris ADORABLE.

·My last favorite scene during this season is when Khushi breaksher fast with Arnav!!! (I actually think that’s the name of the episode…???TWOOD needs to title episodes better y’all) I’m just such a slut for auspiciousforeshadowing like that.

Season2

·My first favorite scene in Season 2 (Maybe my all time favoritescene in this season???) is the scene where Arnav finds Khushi hiding in hiswardrobe. Like HOW FREAKING CUTE WAS THAT WHOLE SCENE?!?!? And he just looks soin AWE of her! Like he just gets so excited, and relieved! It was just thecutest shit ever.

·I love the scene where Khushi thinks she has to rescue Lavanyafrom Arnav, because he’s holding her “hostage” and not getting married to her.Like the way that Khushi just rationalized that! I was like “…this girl isinsane.” BUT ADORABLE! SO IT’S OKAY! And then the next day she passes himeating her fucking chole and muttering about what a “bin shaadi waala rakshash” he is

· Another! Instance of Khushi being just the fucking cutest! Wouldbe when she’s trying to cheer Payal up, and she acts drunk and ad-libs thescene from Sholay where Dharmendra is all drunk on the water tower! AND THEN! WhenArnav sees her safe at home and just breathes the BIGGEST sigh of relief (BECAUSEYA IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER. IT JUST WOULD’VE BEEN BITWA’S FAULT. END OFSTORY.)

Season3-This is one of myfavorite seasons sooooo!!!!

·Straight off the bat! The scene where Khushi apologizes to Arnavabout playing all those pranks on him !!! LOVE IT!

“Mango juice.”

“It’s cause I couldn’t findorange juice!

Like howadorable can ONE person be????!!!! AND BITWA CLEARLY AGREES WITH ME.

·The scene where the pink dupatta lands on Khushi’s head whenArnav throws it. IT’S THE FIRST TIME ARNAV LIKE SEES HER AS HIS BRIDE. AND IT’SANOTHER MOTIF I’M IN LOVE WITH.

·I liked the scene where Arnav “learns to apologize” but I alsodon’t think it’s that big of a deal, so like it gets a mention, but in my headI always kind of roll my eyes whenever writers make a BIG DEAL of the male leadsaying sorry for the ~first~ time ever. Cause like, that just shows that thecharacter is so selfish and egoistic that they just never thought they’d evermade a mistake before…which like…really????

·THE SCENE WHERE KHUSHI CRIES WHEN SHE SEES ARNAV PUT HIS FUCKINGARMS AROUND LAVANYA. LIKE SANAYA AND BARUN DID THIS DAMN SCENE SO FUCKING WELL.LIKE KHUSHI IS HAPPY AND DANDY AND FINE, BUT AS SOON AS ARNAV RECIPROCATESLAVANYA’S AFFECTION, KHUSHI’S LIKE “HELL NO. THAT’S MY MAN. WHAT THE FUCK ISGOING ON?!?!” AND HER OWN BEWILDERMENT AT THE FACT THAT SHE’S CRYING. THISSCENE IS GOLD. SOLID FUCKING GOLD.

·Khushi saving Lavanya from Dadi when she puts the tulsi outsideAHAHAHA! Gooood shit! And she blames Arnav! He just looks so genuinely thrownoff when Khushi winks at him! It’s so funny!

· Khushi and her acidity waala dhak-dhak 

·The ENTIRITY of the Nanital track. Like that’s all I have tosay. It was just perfect and I loved it. (of course I wish Arnav wasn’t alwayssuch a god damn DICK)

· The scene after Shashi’s paralysis, when Khushi runs to Arnav.What really gets me about this scene is that when Arnav hears Khushi say she’s “completelybroken” you can just see him break too. And he wants to comfort her SO BADLY.But I always felt like he stopped because he didn’t think he had any haq over her. And only later, after hepays the bill and Khushi talks to him about her feelings, does he feel as if hehas haq and therefore comforts her byputting his hand on her head. A VERY meaningful gesture in Indian culture.

·Honestly. Almost ever scene with Khushi and Arnav for the restof the season. Like I’m not even joking this is my second favorite season inthe entire show. I loved everything about the progression of their relationshipand the resistance that they both had. This was the season where I stoppedwatching the show because I was “curious” and started watching because Igenuinely wanted to

Season4

·The entire Raizada clan working DESPERATELY for Khushi to stayin the house! OOO LA LA OOO LA LAAA!

·All of Akash’s attempts to propose to Payal, they’re just sosweet, and so very Akash.

·All the little winking, side smiling moments between Arnav andKhushi as they’re working on getting Payal to say yes to Akash’s proposal. “hai na Arnav ji?”

•The scene where arnav finds out about khushi’s engagement!

·The scene where Khushi cries on Arnav’s shoulder after she findsout the truth about Shyam. I always think about what would’ve happened if shehad told him. I still feel as if things wouldn’t have worked out with Khushiand Arnav for a LONG TIME

Season5-THE MOST GLORIOUS OF ALL SEASONS!!! THIS SEASON IS MY FAVORITESEASON EVER. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE BETWEEN ARNAV AND KHUSHI! I LOVE IT! THEYFINALLY REALIZE THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER AND JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT THISSEASON MAKES MY HEART FLUTTER! I can’t even pick specific scenes, because I’dhave to list them ALL. Literally this season is the BEST SEASON.

SO CLEARLY! my attempt at choosing 3 scenes per season failed MISERABLY! but I just LOVE THIS DAMN SHOW! 

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB

Happy New Year

I love ur blog and all your analysis..esp the answer about why we all and khushi fell in love with Arnav.

I had a very odd question and if its hurtful or makes you uncomfortable pls ignore..

Having watched the show multiple times i can't help but feel that Arnav is usually right and I have never found his behaviour abusive..while he may have been unfair to Lavanya most of his abusive behaviour is usually due to Khushi triggering him..

Am I being wired in thinking like that.somethong wrong with my thinking..in not recognizing what everyone does that he was abusive.....

Sorry for being wired

Tc

Hello Anon,

Thank you for being honest about your thoughts and opinions. Hey it’s ok to not understand something - I am super appreciative of the fact that you want to learn.

DISCLAIMER: this post talks about abuse and treats Arnav in a real setting. Pls skip if you wouldn’t like to read further and also this is solely my point of view.

This gifset and the link in it talks a lot of abuse and how Arnav was shown as abusive. 

Abuse can be never justified. Yes, triggers explains that why someone flared up, but that flaring up that leads to hurting a person can never be justified nor forgiven. 

This comes to human right. Every person has the right to be respected, heard and not be harmed. In Arnav and Khushi’s marriage - her respect was extremely violated.

Unfortunately as a society, abuse is seen as rape or intentional physical abuse like kicking or slapping - but there are a thousand more things that count as abuse such as intimidation, name calling, yelling, bruising, aggression, blackmail and more. 

In general, an abusive man is sketched out as a non repentant person who intentionally tortures their partner.

So it seems like Arnav does not fall in that category because we all know he loves Khushi from the bottom of his heart. And with the show from Arnav’s POV where justification and rationale is shown for every action he takes - then to the audience, clearly he’s not abusive.

But unfortunately - abusive men are men who can love, shower gifts, apologize for their actions (and mean that apology). Abusive men can genuinely love their partners. Abusive men can and do have rationale for their actions.

So abuse does come with being in love or having genuine regret or having a reason for the anger. Abuse is that when you’re angry, you feel it’s ok to yell at a person to a point of intimidation and squeeze someone’s arms even though the other person is complaining about the pain.

Unfortunately the show doesn’t show Khushi’s perspective - then it would’ve been easier to understand why living with Arnav at one point is horrifying. Out of the blue Arnav would just insult her, call her a gold digger, call her a characterless woman, slam her against a wall or squeeze her arms hard enough though she yelps in pain. Why? Only because he got a flashback of a moment and thinks it’s ok to behave like that with her.

Unfortunately he treats Shyam with better respect. Apart from grabbing his collar two times and giving him glares, Arnav unleashes his rage on an unsuspecting Khushi because she’s physically smaller, has lesser status, cannot retaliate to a point that can hurt the family (Shyam can) and is blatantly misusing the physical right they have over each other.

The reason why I never respect Arnav’s decision of not confronting Khushi about Shyam is because he uses that knowledge to constant verbally abuse her and she has no idea why a man went from dancing with her to locking her outside his room. This is called “contempt” - a form of emotional abuse. It is where a person shows anger, hurts you with their anger, but never says why they’re angry in the first place. It makes one think and rethink of every single decision. 

Yes, Khushi unintentionally triggered Arnav multiple times. But so did his grandmother and sister on multiple occasions. 

In fact there’s a literal moment in the show when Nani accuses Arnav of being like his father. Does Arnav slam Nani against the wall? No, because there is that inherent respect towards his elders and lines he can never cross.

Then why can he do that with Khushi?

Anjali forces Arnav to think about marriage, despite knowing his trauma surrounding it - Arnav never ends up squeezing Anjali’s arms to give her bruises. In fact the one time he yells at her he begs an apology and never yells at her again. 

Why does Khushi not receive that treatment? 

And yes, many can say that Arnav apologizes to Khushi - but his apologies are with a condition. That she must accept the apology. On the two occasions she doesn’t - when he attempts to apologize for yelling at her without knowing she’s an orphan, and when she chooses to walk out even though he called her the biggest mistake of her life - Khushi ends up being forcibly held in his arms or threatened about Akash and Payal’s marriage if she doesn’t listen to him.

Not much of an apology there, eh? 

I am not making Arnav devious, it’s just that he is abusive and I chose not to accept a lot of things as canon because he’s a fictional character and the turn he makes from being abusive to loving... is also fictional. I’m not saying change is impossible, absolutely not. But a lot of work and therapy needs to be involved along with honest apologies. The lack of Khushi’s perspective in this show, especially in the marriage, romanticizes and lessens the blow of Arnav’s actions where in reality he would’ve been a nightmare, not a Prince Charming. 

Also, one of the excellent ways to differentiate between abuse and argument is to draw a parallel between the argument Arnav and Khushi have after he learned that Anjali attempted abortion after Khushi went to her despite strict instructions to not go to her, AND, Akash and Payal’s argument when Akash learns that his wife knew very well about what Shyam did and did not tell anyone - it was the gravest breach of trust. 

Arnav and Akash have an extremely valid reasons to be upset on Khushi and Payal.

Khushi should have not gone to that room - at this point it is proved that her stupid actions hold consequences regardless of intention. And Nani literally begged her because she told Khushi that Anjali is traumatized and has associated Khushi with her trauma. Did Khushi respect Anjali’s trauma and her need to be alone? No. Did she listen to what her family asked from her? No. Why? Because she felt this innate desire to fix things because she thinks she can. And she screwed up, royally. Nothing stopped Khushi from calling up Arnav, Akash, Payal or even Mama ji to tell them that Anjali hasn’t eaten. 

Payal, on the other hand, had NO reason to hide such a deep secret from Akash. Yes, their marriage hasn’t been off to a rosy start but Akash has fulfilled that one promise he made before their wedding - to not hide things from her. And what did Payal do? She hid about Shyam and the whole matter. Even though she saw right in front of her eyes that Shyam had no intention to change.  Payal was obliged out of duty AND love to tell the truth to Akash. He deserved to know. But she hid it, just like another person Akash trusted - Khushi. 

Arnav and Akash are both suffering from a breach of trust from their wives. 

However this is where we see the difference between argument and abuse:

Arnav begins by gripping Khushi’s wrists - which were injured - and dragged her to their room. Akash walks in and stops, seeing a waiting Payal and knows a conversation will take place. 

Arnav intimidates her by yelling, stepping close into her space, leading to Khushi flinch at his tone. Akash always stays at a respectful space, his tone is never loud to hurt Payal or frighten her. Despite having a towering height, Akash never corners her physically.

Arnav blames Khushi for things she shouldn’t receive blame - like she was the reason why Shyam strayed. This is sexist and nothing can justify it. Akash never blames Payal nor Khushi for what Shyam did. He blames Payal for Anjali’s trauma and shock because if the truth had been told sooner than Anjali could’ve tolerated the truth better in the form of family support and not earth shattering revelations. 

Arnav never talks about fixing the argument and the hurt he caused Khushi. Akash, equally hurt, is always open to whatever more Payal or Khushi have to say about the matter regardless of his temper. 

Arnav blackmails Khushi to make her stay back. Akash, after a couple of days, cools down and talks to Payal about repairing their relationship. 

You see the difference? Akash and Payal are having an argument. Arnav mistreats Khushi. Both women were at fault. While Payal deserves the stiffness from Akash, Khushi does not deserved to be blackmailed. At no point in the argument is Payal ever undermined or her self respect is in question (ignoring the Manorama thing here). Yes her marriage with Akash is on the rocks because he sees Payal not accepting her mistake nor attempting to shed light on how they were mistaken to hide the truth.

And what’s beautiful is the moment Payal realised she crossed a line in her tone, she apologizes to him at night and gives him the rationale behind her behavior. It instantly melts him and he talks of fixing their relationship.

None of this happens with Arnav and Khushi. Rather what happens is an extremely toxic challenge where a toxic power dynamic is established (literally him a lender and her a slave of sorts) where Arnav freezes all forms of her finances to repay the house rent (thereby effectively taking away the one place she can go away from him), establishes his financial superiority in the relationship, takes advantage of his financial superiority, blackmails her of telling the truth to the family knowing she’ll be afraid of how Shashi can take the news...

And love bombs her the minute they’re home. And love bombing is an unhealthy way of dealing with a relationship. According to Wikipedia, “Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it.”

And that is what Arnav is constantly doing in those few days where Khushi ‘might’ leave him. He fills the whole floor and staircase with roses (while also taking advantage of her fear of darkness that came from the death of her parents???), gifts her with jalebis, Salman poster - everything she loves until she relents. 

Once she does relent - he’s all fine. 

Ok, I know there are more nuances about those moments but at large his excessive affection comes only at a price of her staying at home - and not one of those moments has him truly apologizing to Khushi for what he has done.

He goes from telling Khushi he’ll ruin her, threatens her, to being surprised when Khushi tells him she knows he’ll ruin her because he later said he didn’t mean it. 

The issue why Arnav becomes abusive is because he forgives himself in his head. His guilt, his regret - it all plays in his head because that’s what the audience needs to hear. “Oh Arnav is repenting his actions”

But what’s the use of the repent if he’s restoring to mind games and blackmail to have Khushi? Or the basic fact that he flat out never says sorry to her or the only time he says sorry is when she’s going to marry him - therefore it’s a point where he’s completely assured she isn’t going to leave him so saying sorry is safe. 

So yeah, it’s why I feel the writers missed the mark, HUGELY, in writing an abusive marriage instead of an angsty one. 

Phew, this was a LONG answer. Also I’ve covered similar topics here.

Best wishes!

- JWB

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi Jalebi, how r u. I hope u r doing amaazing, recently when i was watching Ipknd I noticed Arnav never voices out is jealousy he angrily stares, then sulks, make faces and never tells khushi if it bothered him. eg Nk, the guy at cocktail party, report and judges of mrs India. Like when khushi came to him to talk about her performance he just types and then leaves. He did say about Nk, but not later, what is he thinking. he knows she is a beauty but navie so why does he not tell khushi. Bye😘

(check this out for an important announcement on asks)

Hello!

I'm doing well :) How about you?

Ok, today's discussion is jealousy. It has often been romanticized in films and television that jealousy is a sign of love.

It can be, absolutely, but there are lines around it.

Arnav sulking that Khushi isn't spending time with him and is having a better time with NK and then shrugging it off after a few days - healthy jealousy.

Arnav growling at a reporter flirting with Khushi but knowing it's not his place to interfere until Khushi asks for his help - healthy.

Arnav telling Khushi he's jealous because other men find her beautiful and are showering her with compliments - toxic partner alert.

It's Khushi's best day - she topped the round, the judge praised her - and Arnav let his jealousy overcome him. It wasn't right. It's why he apologizes to Khushi later that he did bug her a lot during her contest.

Arnav was right to be wary about the intentions of the judge praising Khushi. Because the judge has actually favored Khushi a lot and she's lucky that the judge was actually a good human being for a change. Unfortunately the responsibility are on women to assess any favor they get.

It's a good thing Arnav isn't always telling when he's jealous - he needs to assess it for himself if his jealousy is irrational or not and if he's allowing it to come in between their relationship for no reason. Arnav was grumpy on the day she got an achievement and it didn't work well. Khushi did everything but speak about her jealousy and that got in the way of her relationship - so it's important to self analyze your jealousy and see where it stands.

Healthy jealousy is Khushi detailing the murder of an imaginary woman Arnav could've spent his bachelor night with. They're both laughing at this point and he's indulging all her fantasies and he likes the fact that she's green and possessive about him. They ultimately end up laughing.

Unhealthy jealousy was Khushi not communicating about her fear on Sheetal and constantly imagining Arnav with her (despite his reassurances) and then going to the extent of damaging her otherwise healthy relationship simply because she refuses to communicate that she is jealous.

I don't think Arnav needs to say when he's jealous. Khushi, as a woman, realises when a man talking to her has other intentions. Unlike the idea that Khushi is unaware of men flirting with her - she actually is fully aware. Arnav thinks Khushi is unaware because Khushi doesn't realise NK's extent of crush or that she's unaware of the male attention she gets.

I don't think so. She hits the autorickshaw waala who stares at her. Is visibly uncomfortable at the random man who calls her a date at the cocktail party. Is always uncomfortable with Shyam. Does not like Rocky (apart from the fact he kidnapped Arnav).

That's why Khushi can't understand why Arnav is upset on her because if the judge had been off - she would've known. And she turns out right, the judge genuinely was extending a friendly hand and nothing else - unlike Arnav's jealous thoughts.

Otherwise going a little green eyed now and then isn't an issue :) So yeah, I don't think Khushi was ever 'naive' to not understand men flirting with her - and I think jealousy is a very complex emotion.

Fun thing: from personal experience I can tell you a lot of women 'feign' to not understand a man is flirting with them to remove the discomfort of being flirted with in the first place. Pretend ignore - the man will walk away. Khushi often feigns to not understand Shyam's liking for her by questioning his words or asking him to repeat to make sure he has not flirted with her or that he changes his statement immediately.

Have a nice day! Lol, this got very long and very explanatory.

- Jalebi

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

TS: Farak (Difference) [3/3]

Read Part 1, Part 2

Payal sat still, counting every minute. She breathed to calm her senses, get a grip on reality but for once she wanted to crash and cry. Pour her heart out. Be the unreasonable, emotional one. Yet she couldn’t afford to.

Because she had no shoulder to cry on. Nani’s quiet blessing, Bua-ji’s smile of assurance - all came when the news of her pregnancy broke. Somehow, her news made their day.

It was the silver lining of their clouds. Their worries for her stemmed from the child in her stomach, not for her sister in the ICU. 

Payaliya, you have to take care of yourself, you can’t worry yourself sick.

Your tension will negatively affect your child. 

You’re responsible for two lives. 

Three. 

She couldn’t stop feeling responsible for Khushi’s life. The city of Delhi seemed strange and cold when her sister had moved from one job to another, biting her humiliation with a smile to provide for the family. 

Their Bua-ji had smiled, regarding Khushi with pride for taking the city as her own. But Payal laid awake night after night, growing further spite for the city that demanded so much from her baby sister.

She hadn’t been able to fall in love with the city. 

Just with a man from there. 

And today, she was reminded how alone she was. With no sister by her side, nor any love for the man who made this place her home. 

She and her sister were alone. 

Perhaps they always were. 

---

After several grueling hours, Khushi stabilized. Payal sat by her side, stroking Khushi’s head with the aching tenderness of a mother. Arnav rested on the couch, nearly dropping off to sleep. Akash and the rest of the family waited outside. 

Khushi’s heart monitor beeped, in little echoes. 

“It’s time for you to wake up Chutki,” Payal whispered. Grasping Khushi's frail hand, Payal placed it on her stomach. 

“You’re going to be a maasi.” 

Arnav snapped out his fatigue, surprised at the news. 

Payal finally allowed herself to feel the joy of a new child settle in. And she broke down, clutching Khushi’s hand tighter. 

“Please wake up,” She begged, hunched over the bed, shoulders shaking. Pressing soft kisses to her hand, Payal drew all the strength and comfort from an unconscious Khushi. She could imagine her sister jump in joy, planning on spoiling the child in utmost detail. 

“Kuch toh bol Khushi,” Payal sniffled, caressing Khushi’s cheek. 

A gentle tap on her shoulder, a white handkerchief. 

Payal froze, proprietary kicking in an instant. 

“Thank-” She froze midway. There was a wall of ice between them. His yells were loud enough to travel through walls.

Arnav couldn’t bring himself to congratulate Payal. Not when the woman who would happiest at the news lay motionless in a bed. 

Arnav sat on the other side of the bed, caressing Khushi’s fingertips. 

“We wanted to tell the family about the truth. But we were afraid.” Payal confessed. 

“I understand.” Arnav did. In the five months of being married to Khushi, he was unable to tell the truth to his family either. The idea of preservation was so tempting that it had physically hurt him to break Anjali’s bubble. Shyam’s deception had burned into his skin like poison, but his sister - happy and smiling - made up for all the hurt. 

He had bought time and did nothing. 

Payal wished she had been a bit less in love with Akash, then she wouldn’t have succumbed to her family’s pressure of hiding the truth from the Raizadas.

And now that their lives had fallen apart like a pyramid of cards, she was left with nothing but regret and bitterness. 

It was fair for the family to be angry with them for hiding the truth. 

But blaming Anjali’s health on them?  

A knock interrupted her thoughts. Manorama stood on the other side of the door. 

She was not welcome. 

“Is Phati-”

“Khushi is fine,” Payal addressed her mother-in-law without looking at her. Manorama gasped at Payal’s hidden anger and turned away, crying. She knew she was guilty of mistreating Khushi, she just didn’t want to confront that. Not now. 

“Payal,” Payal stiffened at her husband’s voice. 

She approached the door, her anger placated at his confusion. It was a big day for him. They were going to be parents. 

“Akash-”

“Why did you speak to maa like that?” Her barely-there smile slipped off her face. 

Of course. 

Arnav kept the papers down, surprised at the edge in Akash’s tone. Akash realized his mistake a bit late, especially when he saw Khushi lying still in the bed behind, numerous tubes fitted in her. 

He had been so used to superficially balancing relationships that he barely noticed the undercurrents and fractures.

Arnav itched to go to Akash and Payal, talk about their obvious strain in the marriage, but he knew better. Wasn’t it ironic that everything was tied to Akash and Payal’s marriage? Khushi was afraid, to tell the truth, because of its impact. Arnav threatened her with their marriage. Khushi married him for the sake of it. And today, Akash and Payal stood on two sides of the door, a valley of miscommunication and hurt between them. 

Once again Arnav was at a crossroads on repairing a situation where no one was completely wrong. 

A gentle reminder that he was anything but God. 

Akash touched Payal’s wrist, a small contact of affection and reassurance, and tried to enter the hospital cabin. 

“What happened, where are you going?” Payal stood in the way.

“Woh, just to check on Khushi-” 

“-and do you even know who has been suffering since this morning?” Akash bristled at her tone, “Have you seen Arnav ji’s state?”

At this Arnav had to stand up and interfere.

“Payal, I’m completely fine.” Arnav clarified. 

“I know Arnav ji, but-” Payal removed Akash’s hand from her wrist, “Akash, you’re just Khushi’s brother in law, not her brother. Your duties as a son outweighs those of a damaad.” Akash blanched. He finally knew where Payal was coming from. 

Payal, do you even remember that you’re the Raizada’s bahu? Do you even care about Di?

Arnav was confused, but one look at Payal’s bitter smile disclosed that he had intruded on something very private. With a soft ‘excuse me’ that neither heard, Arnav stepped out to give them their privacy. 

“Payal I didn’t mean that. Khushi means just as much,” 

“I know Akash. Don’t worry. You don’t even have to apologize. As you said, I only care about my family. So I’m doing that. You should go and look at your family-”

“Payal it’s our family. Humara.” Akash cut in, tired from the loop of their arguments. 

“There’s no hum, no us. Even now there’s just you and me. If- Di?” Payal stopped, brushing her tears in practiced modesty. In a language couples knew, Akash stepped back and put on an air of calm. They couldn’t expose their marital fights to the family. 

So they wore their cracked masks of concern and gentility. 

“Di, what are you doing here? Are you ok?” Akash asked, his arm extending to Anjali’s shoulder for support. 

Instantly, Payal reached out for Anjali’s hand. In a matter of days, the woman seemed to have aged years. 

“Akash, Payal ji, I’m fine. I…” Anjali choked as she tried to find words. Her heart had come to a stop on hearing about Khushi. The woman she had come to care for as her own. 

“DI!” Arnav jogged up to Anjali, hesitant as she tried to enter the room. Akash picked up on his brother’s worry without prodding. 

“Di, Khushi ji is still… it’s better if you don’t see her now.” Akash began to guide Anjali out of the room. 

“Yeah Di, let’s go home. I’ll let you know when Khushi’s a bit better.” Arnav said. 

“Nahi,” Anjali shrugged her arms out of her siblings’ grip. They treated her like a fragile china doll. But for once she wanted to break. She wanted to see the ugly side of things. She wanted to see the truth.

For once she wanted to fall. To feel the pain rush through her so much that no more would come her way. 

“Di?” Arnav, Akash and Payal murmured. 

“Please Chottey, let me see Khushi.” Anjali asked. 

“But Di, yesterday-” Akash was frightened, Anjali’s abortion attempt fresh in his mind.

“Whatever happened, happened.” Anjali heaved. She looked around and wondered if she had proven to be so weak that her family feared for her more than the woman who was on her deathbed. 

“Do you really want to see Khushi?” Payal asked. Anjali nodded. Unheeding Arnav and Akash’s quiet but frantic protests, Payal stepped back and opened the cabin for Anjali.

“Payal, why did you-” Arnav began, worried for Anjali’s health.

“Because it’s what she wanted jeth ji. And Di is my sister. This is the least I could do for her.” Payal said and closed the door on Akash and Arnav’s faces. Anjali gripped Khushi’s pale hand. Her heart, if any of it was left, broke at Khushi’s and Payal’s state. 

“Payal ji?” Anjali beckoned Payal towards her. 

And for the first time in the day, someone brushed a gentle hand against Payal’s cheek. In a mere second, Payal broke down and hugged Anjali, sobbing her fears and griefs in the older woman’s arms. 

“I’m so sorry Di, we should’ve told you everything.” Payal confessed.

Anjali broke the hug. 

“Then tell me, how did you both even meet him?”

In a few words, Payal described all the events in detail. To her credit, it was as unbiased as it could be. Anjali heard the account patiently, without interrupting - her silent questions answered with pieces from Payal’s story.

In the end, Payal apologized, again. Anjali dismissed it.

“Tell me Payal ji, chupane se kya farak pada?” Anjali asked. 

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” She said, “but, I understand what you both did and why.” Payal nearly crumpled on the floor in relief. 

“True, I believed Sh-him for a moment. That Khushi chased him, your family trapped him but at the end of the day, that story made no sense. And I had my suspicions,” Anjali sighed, remembering the sudden relatives, clients who’d always ask Shyam for money in front of her, his long trips to cities despite some concerned friends spotting him around Delhi.

But the truth was beyond her nightmares. 

“I’m… sorry Di. We truly are.” Payal whispered, clutching Anjali’s hand. 

“Just promise to not hide anything.” Anjali asked. Payal nodded, grateful for Anjali’s friendship.

Arnav and Akash stared at the three women through the glass panel on the door, wondering if they had ever understood any of them. 

---

A day later Arnav sat by the bed, his back stiff and shirt wrinkled from spending the night sitting by Khushi’s side. He had not slept a wink. 

“Chai” Payal held out a steaming cup of tea towards him.

“Thank you but I don’t take su-”

“-sugar. I know. Khushi has told me about it at least fifty times.” Arnav took the paper cup, grateful for it. Payal sat on the other side of the bed, gently fixing Khushi’s hair and blanket. 

“Jeth-ji, what had happened?” Payal asked. 

“Shyam manipulated my will to have all my properties and assets in his name. He kidnapped me on my way to London but Khushi figured out something was wrong and she rescued me. In more ways than one.” Arnav caressed Khushi’s wrist. There was a point during the kidnapping when he had feared he would never come home. 

And somehow, home found him.

“We’re sorry Arnav ji, we had no idea he would turn to this… if it makes any difference, I promise that I won’t hide anything.” Payal promised. She had known, deep in her instincts, that hiding Shyam’s truth would bite them. Arnav gave her a soft, tired smile and acknowledged the promise.

The could’ve, should’ve, would’ve floated in the air. Decisions seem clear after the consequences have been laid out after the time for deciding has passed. 

“And since we’re talking about being honest… what happened-” Arnav frowned, “on the night of your wedding?” Payal asked, her quiet fears coming true as Arnav paled. 

“There was a misunderstanding but… uss baat ka koi farak nahi padta.” (that no longer matters) Arnav admitted. His words barely above a whisper.

“Koi farak nahi padta?” (truly, it does not?) Payal asked. Arnav looked away, refusing to answer. 

“I am her sister, I deserve an answer.” Payal teared up. Arnav didn’t meet Payal’s eyes but in the fewest words possible, finally divulged the truth of his marriage to Khushi. Despite her bravado, Payal’s knees nearly buckled and she gripped the bed frame for support. 

“Payal!” Arnav shot to hold her but Payal dismissed him. She dabbed her tears with the edge of her pallu and sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” this time Payal refused to look at him.

She wanted to yell, scream, tear his hair off his scalp yet… Payal didn’t know how to react to him. A part of her berated herself, and her amma. It was their fault. Their selfishness cost Khushi her love, marriage, destiny.

How could she blame a stranger when her own made all the wrong decisions? 

“As a bhabhi I can attempt to understand you but as a sister…” Payal trailed off, biting her words - for Khushi’s sake. Hadn’t this always happened?

Everyone made decisions for Khushi. Amma decided Khushi shouldn’t say the truth. Arnav decided to force Khushi into a farce of a marriage. 

No more.

As much as her palms itched to drag her sister far away from this man, she would wait for Khushi to come back to her and speak what she wanted. 

“Payal I’m so sorry,” Payal heard his anguished apology. 

“I am not the person you should be saying sorry for-” Payal choked. 

“And why… why was it so easy to believe the worst of her? You have more respect for me, our father than the one woman you claim to love. Kyun?” Arnav had no answers. He had never known when he had crossed the boundary of haq to lack of boundaries and respect. More than often he misused his right to the deepest corners of her mind to the ability to hurt her the most. Arnav swallowed a gulp, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I-”

“-And you must be realizing this because there’s a very real chance we’ll lose Khushi forever, haina? Because God knows I forgot I had a sister until now.” Payal broke down. In the few months post-marriage Payal had been forced to choose the Raizadas above her sister, time and again. 

First out of shame because Khushi had eloped. Then because it was what good women did - care for their sasuraal first. Lastly, she was used to Khushi becoming the second choice in her life because in Khushi’s life she prided on being the first. 

Wiping her tears away, she stood up and decided to leave the room for now. 

“Khushi, please wake up.” She heard his soft sobs.

“Ab isse koi farak nahi padne waala,” (These [your pleas/apology] no longer matter) She said. Arnav remained still, refusing to believe the truth in her words. 

Payal left, she had no heart in her to forgive herself nor him. 

-- -- -- 

Arnav crouched towards Khushi, whispering words of anger and apology. 

Angry because she couldn’t leave him. Even if she had to punish him, hate him, yell at him - she had to be alive. Not for him, despite him. Khushi Kumari Gupta’s life could not be summarized into the journey of a woman who lost love, marriage, and life. 

She was too young for her story to be incomplete. 

Over time his orders reduced to begging, his tears dried to long stares. 

He made silent promises, confessions, and deals. 

But nothing made a difference. Just like Payal said.

She didn’t wake up. 

-- -- --

After a point Arnav finally fell asleep, his thoughts silent. 

There were no more pleas, promises, nor words of love whispered to her ears.

That’s when the frail palm underneath his moved a fraction. 

-- -- --

A/N: It’s taken me forever to complete this work! The biggest thank you to @ridzmystique​ who’s constantly told me and supported me in completing this story and anon - see I finally completed it (so sorry that it took so long)! 

Farak germinated from the idea of stopping time and having the characters reflect on their decisions. Farak as a word is very interesting - it means ‘matter’ ‘difference’ and its meaning changes beautifully with context. 

So it does not matter if Arnav says sorry when its too late, or expresses only in time of emergences. 

And perhaps there’s always been a difference which sister’s health was at stake. 

So my hands really itched to have the plot stop and let the characters breath. Khushi’s sickness has really nothing much for the family to grieve on. But the last words they said, that would be ingrained in their memory. 

I hope you guys liked it! 

Much love,

- S

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

TS: Farak (Difference) [1/3]

An air of melancholy seeped into the air of the Raizada mansion. In a few minutes their pillar of joy, Anjali, had crumbled into a sobbing mess. Her marriage, belief, love and trust had been tested.

And joy’s namesake, Khushi, wandered in the halls in the lonely night - hoping to find solace.

The revelation had gone terribly wrong. Anjali’s fragile mind and body had been unable to cope with the truths she had been gaslighted against. Khushi had learnt, in the worst way possible, that intentions had no place nor merit against consequences.

Khushi leaned against the door to Nani’s bedroom, her legs heavy and head throbbing from the recent events. 

Forced Marriage. Mistrust. Kidnapping. Love. Rescue. Revelation. Aftermath.

Things should have been better.  

Except Shyam’s sudden expulsion had only led to a poisonous, permanent scar that damaged and questioned all relationships.

A nervous shiver ran up her spine. Did the rest of the family believe Shyam’s version of events? Or worse, believe she could have avoided the pain caused to Anjali if she had only told the truth?

But would anyone have believed her then? Could Payal and Akash’s engagement have been salvaged from it?

A loud bang snapped Khushi out of her thoughts. A furious Akash left his room.

How does one ever know one’s making the right decision?

Her heart hurt. With a gentle push she entered Nani’s room, hoping for her guidance and strength. Nani was the first and only one to call her blameless and reach out to her post the revelation. The only one to believe in her intentions.

And it had been so long since she’d slept on someone’s lap and cried her heart out.  

---

Devyani hummed the last of an old lullaby, patting an exhausted Anjali to sleep. Had she been a bit younger, anger and shock would have ruled her. But after the death of her daughter, Devyani could only feel horror and recollection of the past.

The past that made her too agreeable to the first man who could win her dear Anjali’s heart, or heap unassuming, traditional prospective brides on her grandson.

The past she had accused her grandson of not moving on from.

Hypocrite.

On seeing the shadow of the angel faced bride of her Chotey, Devyani allowed a single, unkind thought to possess her.

She didn’t deserve to be near Anjali.

And before Devyani could reign her mind, her hand stopped Khushi from entering the room, and her heart.

---

Khushi headed towards the steps, her feet numb and head swimming with Nani’s quick apology and request.

Stay away from Anjali.

Please.

The more she sees you, the more she’ll remember.

The words stung like the slap her mother gave her on the wedding day. She deserved it, but it hurt nonetheless. Arnav sat on the steps, his own brow furrowed in deep thought. Nani’s words had pricked him, but he knew better. He knew, and believed, that Khushi was not at fault.

Her feet gave way and she sat by Arnav, quaking in fear and uncertainty.

And he banished her fears with a tired smile and an offer of his shoulder.

She didn’t remember when she reached their bed, but the fleeting kiss on her forehead and the warmth of his hand in hers gave her the hope that she wasn’t alone.

And she could lighten her burden of guilt.

As long as he was there.

---

Time and normalcy would heal all wounds. While everyone catered to Anjali, Khushi catered to the family.

Nani received her daily medication for arthritis. Akash and Payal’s breakfast was sent to their room. The laundry delivery was looked after, so were all the other household chores.

The family could focus on Anjali, and help her heal - just as it should be. Payal shot her a concerned look on her way to Anjali’s room as Khushi lost her footing for a moment, her head dizzy.

Khushi gave Payal a reassuring smile. If her mental fatigue left her like this, one could only wonder how Anjali survived the night.

If anything, Arnav’s sweet smile and a breakfast sent by her Jiji gave Khushi the strength to trudge through the day.

She sat on a kitchen stool, weary, when she remembered it was a Tuesday. Her and Nani’s time to go to the temple.

---

“Sorry Khushi bhabi, Nani ji already left,” Hari Prakash informed Khushi.

“Kya, why didn’t you tell me? When did Nani-”

“What else do you expect Phati Sari?” Manorama sneered, ushering Hari Prakash away.

“I don’t understand Mami ji,” Khushi looked at her, balking at the hatred in Manorama’s eyes.

“Spelling karke de kya? Sasuma isn’t a fool to take the reason for Anjali’s devastation to the temple when she’s trying to pray for Anjali bitiya,” Manorama seethed. The gall of the girl to think she’d go on a sunny walk with Sasumaa to the temple when everyone had barely slept a wink!

“Nahi Mamiji! I didn’t mean any of this-” Khushi reached for her hand but Manorama stepped back, nearly shoving Khushi aside.

“Shut up! You Gupta sisters did this on purpose. You both trapped our sons and ruined Anjali’s life!” Manorama cried.

“No Mami ji, why would Jiji and I do it? We just wanted to save Di from suffering,” Khushi choked, her own reasonings hollow to her ears.

Manorama, despite her anger, couldn’t argue with that one statement. Khushi and Payal, truly, had nothing to gain from Anjali’s pain.

“And that man was truly a devil, he…” Khushi shivered as memories of Shyam’s harassment assaulted her.

“Then why did you stick around him?” Manorama snapped.

“To find Arnav ji! You know that, don’t you?” Khushi pleaded. Manorama had to know the truth. She certainly didn’t believe Khushi willingly spent time with her assaulter. Did she?

“Mami-”

Manorama huffed and walked away, leaving Khushi to her questions.

---

Khushi had only meant to help Anjali. And the unborn child. Nani was in the temple, Mami wouldn’t speak to her and Payal was troubled.

It was only a morsel of food and a few words of empathy.

To the woman who had made Khushi a Raizada. To the only person who took every effort, despite the family’s shared anger, to restore Khushi’s honor by granting her the rituals of a new bride.

Her best friend, her new sister.

Di.  

It never registered with Khushi that Anjali would leave to abort her child. Nani’s disappointment and Mami’s scolding terrified her.

Payal was strung, pulled in two opposite directions when Arnav rushed in with an unconscious Anjali, and Khushi slumped on the sofa, white as a ghost.

With so many hurt, who could she help? Who should she help?

---

“You are the biggest mistake of my life Khushi Kumari Gupta,” Khushi hitched at the use of her maiden name, and his claim.

“I wish I never met you,” Arnav snarled, leaving her alone by the poolside.

Breaking her heart and taking her only hope away.

Khushi had no more tears left to cry.

---

“What happened, where are you going?” Akash asked, several hours later.

“Woh, I was thinking I should check up on Khushi. Especially since what’s been happening since this morning-”

“-and do you even know who has been suffering since this morning?” Payal bristled at his tone. Akash stared at his wife in wonder, was his mother right? Did neither of the sisters get the magnitude of their actions!?

Payal couldn’t collect her wits. How could she make him understand that Khushi had been suffering as well? She’d seen it in her little sister’s scars and terrified eyes.

She didn’t even get a chance to ask how she and Arnav had survived the kidnapping.

“You want to check on Khushi?” Akash scoffed, “Do you have any idea about Di’s state?”

“Akash I didn’t mean that. Di means just as much,” but there is no one for Khushi.

“Payal, you aren’t just Khushi’s sister. You are the daughter in law of this house. And your duties as a bahu outweighs those of a sister.” Payal stood rooted to her spot, unable to defend, unable to believe everything her husband of six months said.

“Or perhaps you don’t feel thinking or caring for Di is a part of your responsibility.” Akash stormed out of the room without a second glance.

---

After half an hour Payal mustered enough strength to go to Khushi’s room, despite Akash’s hostility. What she found was not her sister.

Pale and and delirious, Khushi shoved her clothes into her duffle bag, careless about the ripped gota and pom poms. Her hands and feet were unsteady, unable to hold on to all the clothes her thin arms carried.

“Khushi?” Khushi stopped at the gentle touch of her sister.

“Jiji, I have to leave. I… I am the cause of Di’s pain. I should have never listened to Amma, I should’ve told him the truth when time came. I… what was I thinking?!”

Payal engulfed Khushi into a hug, shushing her cries. In few, incoherent words Khushi told the truth.

The will, Arnav’s kidnapping, Mami and NK’s aid, NK discovering the whole truth, Shyam’s attempt on both of their lives, their eventual rescue.

“Khushi, you and Arnav ji haven’t visited a doctor yet?” Payal exclaimed, checking Khushi’s scars.

“Nothing happened to us Jiji, I don’t need a doctor. Par Di, I didn’t know she’ll end-”

“Khushi, no, you and Arnav ji will head to a hospital-”

“-Bhai,” Akash stepped in the room, with no effort to hide his disappointment, “Payal, of course, you’re here. Di got up. I don’t know where’s her medication is and she needed food-”

“Hum abhi-”

“No it’s ok, talk to your sister, I’ll figure everything out.” Akash stepped out, leaving Payal torn. Which sister should she attend to?

Payal didn’t have to decide. Khushi ushered her out, after a promise to head to the doctor. In her heart Payal knew that Khushi hadn’t told her one thing.

Arnav’s reaction to Anjali’s abortion attempt.

---

Khushi could barely stand on her two feet, her world turning before her every second. At one moment Arnav claimed that he didn’t mean anything he had said before, in another he reduced their marriage to the contract he forcibly bound her to.

What did he not mean? If every word of what he said is not what he meant, then was his current threat of their contract marriage also not true? Or the whisper of an “I Love you” over the phone?

Arnav turned around, unable to meet Khushi’s eyes. He could no longer lie to her.

And she would not stop at his plea.

He’d make up for every injury up, every pain. He just needed time. And if it was necessary to hurt her to get her to stay back, he would do so. If he needed to confirm that their marriage, and everything in between, was nothing more than a contract… he would do so.

He could not afford to lose her.

“If I leave… drag me to court? Police? Jail?”

“I’d do what I promised,” Arnav swallowed, unable to hold his shame in his lie, “Separate Akash and Payal.” Stealing his resolve, he said, “By now you know-”

Thump.

He turned and lost his footing. Dread stole his voice and clutched his heart in a vice grip.

A silent scream left his mouth.

Khushi lay on the floor, motionless.

---

Read Part 2

---

A/N: Second part will be up soon. A big thank you to @ridzmystique​ for checking on this story and pushing me to complete Farak. Thank you for reading/liking.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Arnav & Lavanya - An Imbalanced Relationship

This post is influenced and dedicated to @acroakingbird​‘s post to me about Arnav & Lavanya. 

Let’s answer a few questions first. Warning: this is a LOOONG post!

Did Arnav and Lavanya have a great relationship?

No. I thought carefully about this and as you have highlighted - it was not a healthy relationship. There was a severe power imbalance in the relationship (even if Lavanya was well off and her own person), Arnav was dominant in ways that often influenced Lavanya to do things that inconvenienced her but she was alright with it because she knew it would keep Arnav happy. 

In the beginning, of course there is a great chemistry between him and Lavanya. You get a sense that their relationship blossomed from friendship as she’s well aware of his tastes and he gives her soft, small smiles that he doesn’t give anyone else. 

And he even finds it easy to shift his growing attraction to Khushi to Lavanya (such as when Lavanya plays with his tie post the red saree incident, he almost holds a similar amount of intensity while staring at Lavanya that clearly says everything, or when Arnav checks out Lavanya in her white saree and is appreciative of what he sees - but is left speechless on seeing Khushi in a saree because he had not expected to feel what he does). 

Arnav indulges Lavanya, is protective of her when his family goes crazy to traditionalize her, and is respectful of her privacy. Yet the easy, friendly banter of theirs quickly disappears the more serious their relationship gets. In short, the cracks become visible. 

One scene about Lavanya that has always baffled me is how quick Lavanya is to jump into the boat of getting married to ASR when Khushi scares her about the idea that a live-in relationship does not provide permanence. Khushi is so childish and the imagination is laughable.

However Khushi, unintentionally, taps Lavanya’s fear of ASR leaving her. I think Lavanya already thought long about ASR’s stand on marriage with her and it’s not really Nani’s words or Khushi’s ideas that frightens her. She knows ASR and is puzzled that them living in the same house seems to be driving them away instead of bringing them closer. 

In her massive argument with ASR (when she’s dressed as a bride), the questions she asks ASR on whether he loves her, her refusal to search for his feelings through his vague actions - all reflect a deeper conflict she’s been facing for months together. Khushi kind of pushes Lavanya to a conclusion she didn’t want to arrive. 

Arnav and Lavanya though, don’t have the best relationship. Arnav always get his say, is rude and hurtful to Lavanya. They seem to get close when he wants to. There’s nothing jarringly wrong about their relationship - but the issues are visible long before Khushi even settles into Arnav’s mind. Lavanya is quick to appease him and fears his anger. She apologizes when it’s not necessary and is a ‘yes man’ to him. 

Arnav’s best attitude towards Lavanya emerges when he is honest about his feelings for her. The change is immediate. He’s softer, kinder, considerate and immensely protective. I think he thought they would ideal together given she shares a similar school of thought, but unfortunately that didn’t work. In these rare moments we see that Arnav and Lavanya shared a deep friendship which Arnav pursued for convenience and Lavanya for love. 

There are an excellent example of two people who should have remained friends. 

Arnav craves control over his emotions - especially in a relationship - and the way he exerted it over Lavanya often bordered on troubling. While Arnav and Khushi almost reveled in the constant push and pull of the power play between them, Lavanya was almost always submissive and suffered from his anger. 

Honestly, if Lavanya was truly happy and content in her relationship she would not keep on seeking constant reassurance. She feels the need to tell him that she sees love in his vaguest gestures (such as gifting a bag, and you wonder if she’s telling that to herself), and later goes into denial when she realizes he’s getting engaged to her for other reasons. 

She does not want to verbalize it till the end but we see Lavanya getting snappier at ASR during their engagement time. We can see it when Lavanya notices that ASR isn’t responding to her thoughts about their honeymoon. When he yells at her for choosing a dress that matches Khushi’s and she yells back. When she’s unsurprised with him taking Khushi’s name.  

I think Lavanya also recognizes the issue their relationship has. More than once she mentions to Khushi that she isn’t like Khushi. That she can’t control, talk back nor stand her own in front of ASR. She realizes her self respect is getting hurt in her process of handling his family and being with ASR, but she does get back with him with his slightest effort. 

This does not sound like a relationship that could last, and I do like the subtle ways this is highlighted - it makes Arnav and Lavanya’s relationship incredibly real without making anyone an outright villain. 

Did Arnav cheat Lavanya? 

You answered this pretty well in your post. 

I feel like Arnav did cheat on Lavanya quite a number of times, emotionally and Diwali time included. Arnav and Lavanya were committed enough to be in a live in relationship and they both had feelings for another (Lavanya more than Arnav and I’m not saying they had the same intensity as between Arnav and Khushi.) At no point during that time was it okay for him to be attracted and have feelings for Khushi or lead on Lavanya because he didn’t want to deal with them. Frankly, it was disrespectful and cruel.  

So as you’ve wonderfully laid out, even an emotional affair is considered cheating. But here comes another question -

Can you control attraction? 

No. Unfortunately, no. 

Did Arnav & Khushi have an emotional affair?

Yes and no. I don’t think they realized how integral they were to the other emotionally or that how emotionally dependent they were on each other. They never spoke about Lavanya, their emotions or their engagements. 

Each time they were upset or that they questioned each other, it was solely based on hints and on their own experience with the other person. 

Khushi has no idea how much Arnav needed someone to talk to when he misses his mother. But she stays with him because his sadness hurts her, and he asks her to stay because she is the only one who can connect with the emptiness he feels. 

Arnav has no idea how much Khushi needs a pillar of support and a confidante, when her father is paralyzed. How much she needs a shoulder where she can be a frightened child and not a responsible adult. He is unable to hug her when Khushi finally vents her emotions to the only person who can be brutally honest with her. She later runs away, again, confused at why she chose to hug him. 

It’s the fact that they always just don’t know. If you carefully see, up until Akash and Payal’s wedding (and then up until their hug at the warehouse when Arnav’s kidnapped), either Khushi, Arnav, or both are confused as to why they are drawn to each other. It’s their awareness but lack of understanding that makes this question difficult to answer.

It’s what makes them better human beings but terrible decision makers.

Should he have been honest with Lavanya? 

Yes, but on what basis. 

How do I say, he isn’t one to end a perfectly convenient relationship because he is physically attracted and emotionally enamored by a woman who is the exact opposite from him. His feelings, emotions - that he refuses to acknowledge - exist in his hidden thoughts (a lot of time it’s when he’s in his bed). Khushi is almost... a fantasy. 

And Arnav is not one to break a secure, safe relationship for a flight of imagination/fantasy. It’s not even a comfortable fantasy. He’s almost always bothered, irritated or confused by it. He only begins smiling while thinking about her during Akash and Payal’s wedding. 

Did Arnav realize he was cheating Lavanya? 

No, not until the day he takes Khushi’s name instead of Lavanya’s while trying to apologize to Lavanya. I know, it sounds like a stretch to the extent his denial ran - but that’s what denial is. 

Arnav is a man of action, not words. His morality is also ambiguous - and he isn’t shy about that. The little he speaks, it’s carefully measured and thought out. He is someone who blatantly ignores the existence of emotions. Arnav knew he was physically attracted to Khushi. But -

- could he start a relationship with Khushi? 

No, it took forever for Arnav to realize that he could actually live a life with Khushi. For a long time I think he believed that Khushi was a passing phase. Khushi was almost always fainted or asleep when he pushed away a strand of hair, held her cheek - unveiling his deepest darkest desire. 

Yet, as far living together and reality was concerned, he pretty much believed that Lavanya would be ideal. A relationship with Khushi was impractical. He recognizes lust alright, but also does not expect more from it. Unlike Khushi who begins to dream of their married life once she gets a serious hint on what is her feelings for Arnav,  Arnav never dreams of a future with Khushi. 

He begins to grow emotionally more attached to Khushi once he learns about the death of her parents and realizes that she is an inherently strong, independent and a good human being. There’s no facade to her goodness. It’s when he actively begins to seek her when he realizes they’re more similar. He begins to see her as his equal. Here, I think, it becomes grey. I don’t think he realizes the end result of his growing emotional and physical connection to Khushi. 

The Diwali is a shocker to him. He sees it as a moment he succumbed to the fantasies he had had about Khushi and hence, almost turned out to be like his father. 

Arnav getting shocked, angry, numb and scared when his family plans his wedding with Lavanya is the beginning of a wake up process where Arnav is forced to understand the consequences of the commitment he promised to Lavanya. 

The episodes following the Diwali - he’s technically horrid to Khushi and Lavanya. He’s stringing both of them and he does not realize that until Lavanya literally reminds him. His and Lavanya’s relationship was also a way for Arnav to prove himself to his overbearing grandmother - he couldn’t and wouldn’t break up with Lavanya until he knew, for certain, that he wasn’t in the right place. Which is why he avoided bringing Lavanya over initially, until his ego got involved.

Khushi’s engagement pulls him out of his stupor because he realizes that he could have made it work... perhaps the other man is not who he wants Khushi to be with.

I don’t think he even imagined marrying Khushi until she is engaged to Snakewa. Then he constantly puts himself as a better choice than her fiancé and almost pushes her to acknowledge that he can fulfill all her desires; materialistic, emotional and physical.

Morally, this is incorrect. He, again, does not realize the consequences of his actions. He is seeking reassurance from Khushi to be able to justify and probably end his and Lavanya’s relationship. 

There’s a difference between awareness and acknowledgement. The day he acknowledges what he feels for Khushi, is the day he immediately breaks up with Lavanya because he understands the depth of what is between him and Khushi, and almost instantly realizes that he has been stringing Lavanya to get a confession out of Khushi. 

It’s the day he stops all his mind games with Khushi. He doesn’t press her further for questions. His only focus is with Lavanya, and he spends the next two days trying to rectify all his mistakes. His breakup with Lavanya is less about his feelings for Khushi and more about his dishonesty. 

Arnav never fails to apologize when he realizes he has truly erred. 

Also, he can never tell anyone what’s the reason for his breakup because he still has no idea if he and Khushi can actually ever be together. In his eyes he knows Khushi is marrying someone else. And Arnav would very well wallow in his own anguish and not be with another because he knew he wouldn’t be honest. 

Arnav has no idea that Khushi reciprocates his feelings completely and refused to get engaged in the beginning because of what she feels for him. He only has a hint but stops pursuing that once he sees how he has hurt Lavanya in that process.

He realizes he has always put Khushi before Lavanya and might continue to do so for the rest of his life. 

In short, in episode 142 he realizes he has been dishonest with Lavanya because he comes to a complete realization of his feelings for Khushi. Until then, naively, Arnav & Khushi feel that their engagement to other people would put a full stop to their emotions as they both firmly believe in the institution of marriage. Instead, it does the opposite. Khushi grows increasingly uncomfortable with her fiancé and Arnav grows immensely detached. 

Yes, his actions and decisions are more questionable than Khushi’s and it could be called cheating (especially during this phase) but I think it’s more dishonesty because Khushi is never an active participant. It takes two to tango and Arnav really isn’t thinking at this point - if they accidentally kissed or hugged or even confided in each other, he would’ve immediately broken up with Lavanya, which he does in episode 142. 

He realizes that the attraction has grown into something permanent and serious, irrespective of the fact that he and Khushi can’t be together. He can’t and won’t give a name to the attraction because he does not want to be like his father. It’s more of Arnav realizing he has been dishonest to Lavanya. It’s the realization that he will put Khushi before anyone else. 

Had he continued his pursuit of Khushi and faked happiness and commitment to Lavanya post this realization, it would have been easier for me to judge him more harshly. 

Also, the audience, as in us, are the only people who are seeing that Arnav and Khushi think about, care and love each other in equal measure. Arnav and Khushi almost always believe they are impossible apart from a few hints. They are always in the dark about the other person. 

Arnav and Khushi realize, openly flirt and admit their feelings to each other, unfortunately, on the day of their forced marriage. It’s the first time they have a smiling Rabba Ve with each other without any confusion/questions - they both know they’re in love (it’s the morning when Arnav notices her cooking for the relatives, sees that she can sense his presence, and she chooses the saree he recommends). 

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

There’s More To Her #7

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A New World

If Payal and Akash were not romantically linked, and if Arnav and Khushi did not have the feelings (which they vehemently denied) for each other, then Akash and Khushi would have been the perfect match.

Three discussions of Salman Khan’s five films, one argument about Delhi’s transportation system, two unending apologies regarding the argument, and a final agreement on Indian music’s rapid declining state summarized their one hundred and twenty four minutes conversation.

This was a problem neither Arnav nor Payal had foreseen. One’s cousin loved to speak. The other loved to listen. Payal had long left the room, tending to Bua ji’s infinite questions on where the girls had been. Arnav finished his final notes, stood up and grabbed Akash’s phone out of his hand.

“Bhai! Khushi ji was telling me about how Pritam copied Teri Meri’s tune from a South Korean song and it’s disheartening because how the track is so wonderful, especially with Rahat Fateh-”

“-where are you taking Payal for a date?” Arnav cut in. Akash’s mouth opened and closed, like a fish.

“Oh.”

“Oh??”

“-aur Akash ji,” Even though Akash’s phone was not on speaker, Khushi’s voice rang out loud and clear, “-Rahat ji’s voice evokes a true pain so imagine my horror when I learnt the song was copied-”

“-Khushi Kumari Gupta, is this your plan to not get Payal on a date with Akash?” Khushi choked, gasped, turned red in mortification and huffed. How dare he think this is what she wants? And how can he always be so wrong about her? If Khushi had a list on the number of times Arnav misinterpreted her actions - it would match the salary of an average employee at AR!

Khushi grumbled and popped a channa in her mouth, “Aap-”

“Haan main. As usual Akash overestimated your capabilities and told me you had more than enough EQ to help him find a location for the date,” Akash tried to get his phone back, but one glare from Arnav and he was back on his seat. Never underestimate the power of a raised eyebrow and side eye.

“You always meet my expectations with your fruitless conversations.” Arnav scoffed, his files and Akash forgotten.

“Aap!-” Khushi glowered.

“-I should have warned Akash about your IQ instead. I’m sure with your channas, jalebis and bollywood music, you missed out on helping him out.” He said. Khushi stopped herself from eating a channa, cleared the empty plate of jalebi from her table and held her phone in a tight grip.

“Aap-” she began.

“Khushi, it’s established that it’s me.” Arnav rolled his eyes.

“Aap!-”

“Can we move on from aap? I think it’s better to set up Akash and Payal’s date at the AR head office.” If, Khushi’s God forbid, Akash and Payal were to go out on a movie for a date - it would mean that he and Khushi would have to watch that film too.

Trusting Akash, Payal and the overwhelming influence of Khushi Kumari Gupta, it would be a Salman Khan film.

Arnav winced in advance for that shiver that would crawl his spine at the thought of a shirtless Salman romancing a woman twenty years younger than him on a copied Bollywood item song with the crowd hooting on the screen.

Except, the prospect was tolerable, his spine did not shiver but something else did at the thought of sitting with Khushi in proximity, in the dark, for three hours.

“Hmm… it’s a good idea.” Her agreement brought Arnav out of his thoughts.

“You... agree?” He tried his hardest to keep his surprise at bay.

“It’s better to meet in the office. There’s no risk of running into anyone else, and it’s a comfortable environment for Akash ji. Also, AR’s studio can be set up for their date-”

“-the studio is not your playground.” Arnav warned. Khushi rolled her eyes.

“Arrey! I didn’t even say that I would decorate but now that you’re suggesting…” Khushi paused, muffling a chuckle as Arnav swore his ‘what the-’ on the other end of the phone.

“If you first planned on them meeting at the canteen or in Akash’s office, then I’ll decorate the studio for them.” Khushi challenged.

“I did not think of the canteen first,” He bit out. Contrary to popular opinion, Arnav was not a nitwit in romance. His first idea was Akash’s office, second was the canteen.

“So you planned it second?” Khushi asked.

“What the fuck!” He snapped.

“Haw! Fine, apart from two leather chairs - by the way you should stop buying leather chairs! As a multi million dollar company do you realise what message you’re giving for the environment? Animals are also-”

“Khushi. Date. Focus.” Arnav sighed. Khushi and derailing a topic were one and the same. Yet, Arnav shot a quick text message to Aman that said something like;

Arnav: Replace leather chairs with faux leather.

Aman: Ok, do we publicise going animal friendly?

Arnav: Don’t ask stupid questions. Yes.

Aman: Same for our clothing lines?

Arnav: Yes.

Aman: Who recommended this?

Arnav: Do you think I’ll change everything based on one person’s opinion?

Aman: Should I get fired?

Arnav: Was your answer yes.

Aman: Yes.

Arnav: You’re fired.

Aman: See you tomorrow.

“Arrey, are you even listening to me. Laad Governor, as if he will change anything!” Khushi grumbled, forgetting she was still on line. Akash checked in a choke at the nickname. He was also quick to bury himself in the lookbook before Arnav could shoot a metaphorical and literal dagger at him.

“What did you call me? And Khushi, you don’t really know me.” Arnav argued.

“So you weren’t planning on Akash ji and Jiji sitting on a round table with nothing apart from two chairs and two mineral bottles on the table?” Khushi drawled. She was granted with a five second silence.

“What… are your plans for the studio?” He asked.

“Give me Aman ji’s phone number.”

“What the-”

“Anyways you’re going to delegate work to him na?” Khushi countered. Arnav dignified her question by ending the call. While Khushi spent two minutes cursing him and his blasted manners, Payal walked up to her with their cell phone.

“Khushi, who’s this Aman Mathur?”

---

Three days later, thanks to Preeto’s pre engagement lunch party - a western and a ‘Hai Re Nandkisore’ concept according to Bua ji - Payal and Khushi were able to sneak out for the date. Shyam had stopped Khushi, offering to drop her at Preeto’s house. When he realised Payal was going too, his smile tightened and he remembered a case he had to attend. Nowadays Shyam seemed to be burdened by a lot of cases for he was rarely home.

For some reason it gave great relief to Khushi. Something was off about that man.

“Arrey Khushi!” Preeto ran down the stairs and grabbed Khushi into a tight hug. Privy to the little secret, she gave a wink to Payal and ushered them in.

“You’re looking beautiful Payal di.” Preeto whispered.

The plan was set - Preeto’s mum would see that the girls are sitting and enjoying the party and just as the other girls would come in, Khushi and Payal - having forgotten their ‘gift’ - would head out to the ‘market’.

Then they would get lost, in finding the perfect gift, and return a few hours later. After that, they’d have evening snacks together and head home.

“Okay, now chalo.” Preeto said, but she found a gift of glittered bangles in her hand. It was not cheap.

“Khushi?” Preeto hugged Khushi, tearing up. Payal finally understood why Khushi slogged an extra few hours at tuitions this week. Khushi couldn’t keep her own tears at bay. An engagement should be celebrated with utmost happiness.

“Preeto, do you think we’d leave without a gift?” Payal smiled. In a way both Khushi and Payal’s consciences were soothed from lying to their family. They, in a way, were really a part of Preeto’s party. Through the backdoor, the sisters held hands and sneaked into an auto, waving at Preeto.

---

Payal had only heard stories of the AR office. Now, staring at the ten storey glass building her heart hammered loud. Even though she had visited their massive house and been in his exclusive Mercedes, Akash’s presence had dulled her senses to how rich they were.

It finally dawned on her that these people had businesses worth millions. Frequented countries like the way she walked between her house and Lakshmi Nagar bazaar. That Akash, truly was a Raizada. He was wealthy beyond her imagination.

Khushi’s smile fell as Payal rapidly paled, stepping back from the glass doors.

“Jiji?” Khushi touched her shoulder, Payal grabbed her hand.

“Khushi, hum yaha kya kar rahe hai! What are we doing here? Our statuses are very different. We won’t be compatible by just two cups of tea.” Payal was on the verge of tears. Suddenly the shiny purple salwar kameez, the one she saved for special events seemed cheap.

Manorama, for all her crassness, had been honest.

Payal and Akash belonged from different worlds.

Akash and Arnav stopped at the first floor, seeing a shocked Payal and a crestfallen Khushi at the reception. They were not expecting this.

“Jiji, they come from the same world as us. We aren’t different.” Khushi led Payal to the visitor’s chair and they both sat down.

Payal shook her head, “No, when you told me a car was about to run you over in a parking lot I thought you were being your blind self. I didn’t know that their parking lot was four times the size of Bua ji’s house.”

“Jiji, five hundred people work here, they can’t just have Happy ji’s garage - which is in full capacity with one SUV and Bedi uncle’s scooter.” Khushi soothed Payal.

“Khushi, Akash is way out of my league.” Payal told Khushi.

“Why? Because he and his family earns a lot? But they’ve worked hard for it, like Babuji, like us.”

“Khushi, they won’t understand us-”

“Bas Jiji. They will. This is not inherited money, they’ve earned it. Like Babuji. If you say there’s a difference of intellect, education and business skills - I’ll agree. But differences in values, culture and ethics - then no, you’re mistaken. In most companies brothers fight for power, but there’s no rivalry between Akash ji and Arnav ji, you know why? For the same reason why there’s no rivalry between us.” Payal looked up, surprised at Khushi’s confidence.

“Now will rich people stop marrying normal people because they earned money? Ok, if you were marrying that Liza ji’s brother then I would, gladly, commit suicide.” Khushi shivered. Akash and Arnav exchanged a look - they shared the same sentiment.

Khushi never hated anyone, but she detested Liza from the bottom of her heart. Her snootiness, disrespect for money and humans alike, plastic smile rubbed Khushi wrong. And the way she had embraced Arnav, calling him ‘Arnie’. It bothered her then, it positively disturbed her now.

Payal cracked a small smile then frowned, “But the people they surround with are rude.”

“I agree. Some of them, their colleagues and they themselves are mean. But Jiji, if you spent even one day with Sim and Pam then you’ll also begin saying what-the-what-the-what-the.” Khushi explained. Akash glanced at Arnav, who remained expressionless, except for the slight curl of his lip.

“And you, if you want, plan on marrying Akash ji - not the people he surrounds himself with.” Khushi said. Payal brushed away Khushi’s humor.

“But-”

“Jiji, I know people are important. I know our status difference, their wealth, all of that matters but what means the most is that you love him. I don’t have the answers for everything. If you’re bothered by the people, you need to tell him so as to you both can work on it. If Akash ji expects you to immediately fit in then you need to make him see that by just adding a Raizada in your surname you won’t immediately turn into a woman who’s always lived in wealth.” Khushi held Payal’s hand.

“That’s why you wanted time. And that’s why he agreed. If you want I can find you a man who’s of the same status and community, but let me tell you something - nothing replaces love.” Payal looked at the scar beneath Khushi’s ring finger. They all believed in superstition. Khushi had always believed in love.

Khushi’s engagement and scar was inauspicious and loveless.

“Whenever you have these doubts, think of marrying another man. Your heart will tell you the truth.” Akash smiled at the advice. Arnav gulped, the knot in his chest becoming tighter with every passing day.

“You and Akash ji need to make it work. The easier it is to form a relationship, the more difficult it is to sustain it - yet the more worth it is. Acknowledging differences is the first step.” Khushi pulled Payal to her feet.

“Now are you feeling confident or not? Even the handsome Chulbul Pandey married penniless Rajjo because they had one thing in common - fearlessness.” Khushi gushed.

“Is he her neighbor?” Arnav asked Akash.

“Who?”

“The Pandey she’s talking about.”

“Oh, Chulbul Pandey. No, he's a character in Salman Khan’s film, Dabangg. And Rajjo was Sonakshi Sinha. The film was directed by Abhinav Kashyap and,” Akash stopped, realising Arnav was staring at him.

“No Bhai, I don’t watch Hindi films… woh, Khushi ji told me about this.” Akash turned red and looked at his shoes. Arnav narrowed his eyes to slits, vowing to show Akash better films.

“But life is not a film Khushi, what if it doesn’t work out in the future?” Payal asked. Akash and Arnav waited for Khushi’s reply.

“And what if it does? Jiji, how can you find answers to a future you haven’t lived? Everything might not be perfect, but you can only be upset if you’ve not given your hundred percent.” Khushi advised and removed a handkerchief from her purse.

“When did you grow up?” Payal smiled and took the handkerchief. Khushi gave her a half smile and fisted her hands. Off late she has had to grow up. Whether she liked it or not.

“Bhai, thanks for the studio, especially on a Sunday.” Akash said.

“Do me a favour and make this work. She’s a woman who will only love you for who you are.” Arnav cracked a half smile.

“Khushi, am I looking ok?” Payal straightened her kameez.

“Mind blowing! In fact you look like Sonali Bendre from Sarfarosh!” Khushi held out her hand. Payal grasped it, her nervousness and excitement blending into one ball of mess in her stomach.

“I’m guessing Sarfarosh is another Salman Khan-” Arnav began.

“Aamir Khan.” Akash corrected, straightening up his jacket as Payal and Khushi entered, “And Khushi ji must be referring to the purple salwar kameez right before the ‘Jo Haal Dil Ka’ begins playing.” But to him the color matched Payal better. It took him a second to realise Arnav was, again, staring at him.

“N-no, I mean…” Akash blanched. He had a reputation to protect before his brother and his knowledge of his Hindi films was not helping.

“If you tell me Khushi told you this,” Arnav stopped as Akash left him behind, staring at Payal in unabashed admiration. She had walked right under the chandelier, the light sparkling on her dress and jewelry.

Akash swallowed hard, staring at the woman who made every young fantasy come true. That one day there would be a woman for whom he’d forget everything else.

At the edge of Arnav’s office, Akash stared down at Payal who looked up at him in equal parts of wonder and adoration. In a small, forgotten corner of her heart it felt like she was visiting a palace. Standing tall and high above her, in a crisp white suit, with shadows and light casted on his handsome face, Akash was nothing short of a prince.

Arnav and Khushi stayed in the shadows, regarding the other in their silhouettes and gazes. She had worn an all white salwar kameez, the one she wore at the Dargah. He was in all black. With awareness, a heaviness sat in the hearts. It had been long since they took the time to look at the other, like this.

This was what Khushi had been talking about. For all her fears and cynicism, there was a magic that gave Payal endless optimism. That pleaded her to give her its best.

It didn’t matter which world either came from, one day they might just create their own.

---

Next Chapter

A/N: I hope you liked the update! Thank you so much for reading and leaving your notes - it really motivates me endlessly :) Hope you all have been doing well.

Love,

S

P.S: Bhai = brother, Jiji = (elder) sister, Aap = you, haan main = yes me, channa = chickpea, woh = a Hindi sentence filler like so/as/you know/that, Arrey = a common exclamation like what/uff, bas = enough, chalo = go/bye/goodbye.

Also read it on: Wattpad

[phati-sari]

Arshi FF: Tere Bin - Chapter 3

Read from the beginning | Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Bekhayali (listen while reading)

Arnav

“Unbelievable.”

Arnav tossed the file onto the small table. Across the outdoor setting by the poolside, Aakash raised an eyebrow.

“Bhai?”

“The new secretary said this is the Mehta and Mehta file when she handed it to me. These are the Singhania documents.”

“I might have …” his brother rummaged through a stack of folders. “No, I don’t have it. But I do have the proofs for the calendar photos for you to review. The ones that were delayed.”

Arnav flicked through the file distractedly after accepting it.

A photo of Lisa toying suggestively with the hem of her dress, “Okay.”

Lisa pouting at the camera, “Okay.”

Khushi —

He stilled. The photographer had caught her looking straight into the lens, one hand raised to tuck her hair behind her ear. The image evoked a memory of the midnight tresses flying in an artificial breeze, unshed tears in her eyes. Tears he’d caused. The second image was of Khushi looking away from the camera. The smile on her lips was a revelation but his mind offered a memory as if in counterpoint; the plea in her eyes as she’d silently begged for reprieve from his intimidation.

And his body reacted as it had that night, desire pulsing through him as he imagined the pallu of her sari slipping to reveal the curves of her body.

“Oh wow,” Di had approached unnoticed. “Khushi modelled for our company?”

Arnav hastily closed the file as she dropped into a chair and continued.

“She looks so lovely, doesn’t she?”

She looks fucking beautiful.

As usual, Di didn’t require an answer.

“Chhote,” she drawled, throwing a mischievous smile in Aakash’s direction, “do you know what Nani would say if she saw you looking at these photos?”

Aakash opened his mouth as if to interrupt but Di didn’t see as she imitated Nani’s tone, “At least Chhote has moved on from that Kashyap lady and is looking at photos of other girls.”

Di’s teasing caused something brittle inside him to crack.

“We’re no longer together,” he said softly.

Aakash sighed, “Sorry, Di. I tried to tell you.”

His sister placed her hand on his arm, her eyes roving over his features, “Chhote, what happened that you’re suddenly saying this?”

“It’s fine, Di. We decided it was for the best.”

“Are you sure, Bhai?”

Arnav glanced at his brother, “Yes.”

The look Di and Aakash exchanged was laden with meaning.

“Chhote, you must have fought with Lavanya. These small tiffs don’t mean—”

“— We didn’t fight. We’re just not a couple anymore.”

“I’m worried about you,” his sister frowned, “I thought something was wrong when she didn’t come for the anniversary party. You can’t go through life so alone, Chhote. You need someone who understands you, who’ll be there for you.”

Arnav suppressed a noise of annoyance in this throat, “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Okay, Bhai,” Aakash stood. “Di.”

Their sister followed reluctantly, pausing often to cast worried glances his way. When he was alone, Arnav slammed the photos onto the table and closed his eyes. Immediately, memories of that night attacked him. Khushi under the bright lights of the stage, her hair fluttering around her face. The red sari hugging her hips and the swell of her breasts.

His eyes snapped open.

Damn.

He’d tried to forget. He’d tried to ignore the business card that’d burned a hole in his pocket for the last three days.

Arnav Singh Raizada is not so weak that he cannot forget one girl.

And yet, he dreamt of her.

Not the soft-focus, desaturated memories that haunted his waking hours. These were raw, darkly sensual thoughts accompanied with vivid imagery of her skin, her hair, her lips. Her cries in the darkness as he took her over the edge of pleasure again and again. And again.

She held him in those dreams. Promised she’d never let go. And he found he could not stay away.

He made the first call two days later — minutes after waking — dialling the number printed on the business card before his thoughts could catch up to his actions. It rang unanswered until sense made him cut the call. And that should’ve been the end of it except that he tried again that afternoon. This time he ended the call midway through the first ring.

Then there were the pearls. He still wasn’t sure why he’d stored the relics of their first meeting in his cupboard, but he found himself toying with the small box more often than he’d ever admit. Sometimes they felt like a challenge — as if Khushi Kumari Gupta was taunting him from hundreds of kilometres away. Sometimes, they felt like weakness, as if he should’ve known better.

Sometimes, they felt like a promise.

                                                      #####

News of the breakup travelled like wildfire in his home, so it was a surprise that Jija-ji waited until later in the week to knock on his door. Arnav paused in the middle of loosening his tie.

“No, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s okay,” his brother-in-law gave a good-natured shrug.

Arnav watched in frozen amazement as the other man navigated the length of the room to settle on the edge of his bed. The injury Jija-ji had sustained on his trip was healing quickly, though he still used a walking stick for support. Rousing himself with a mental shake, Arnav flung off his tie and wrenched the top-most button on his shirt open.

“Calm down, Saale-Sahib.”

A sidelong glance at his Jija-ji as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, “Have you heard what Nani said? Is it so necessary that I start looking for a bride? Don’t my wishes carry any weight? I don’t want to marry. Nani will have to understand this.”

The tremble of Khushi’s bottom lip as she stared up at him flashed into his mind. He ignored it.

“Again with the same argument, Saale-Sahib,” Jija-ji sighed. “In her mind, there is no other way. And the community has begun whispering now that everyone knows that you were with Lavanya and broke it off.”

“I don’t care about what the community thinks.”

“But Nani needs to hold her head up high. You were together on Teej. People will ask questions.”

A storm of memories. Khushi in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as he walked up the temple steps. His hand in her hair, her lips on the rim of the glass. A hollow in his chest, the ache of something left unsaid. The questions in her eyes as he took the puja thaal from her hands.

Arnav was saved from replying by the arrival of a tray of tea things in the hands of Jai-Prakash.

“I didn’t ask for that.”

“I asked for it,” Jija-ji smiled. “Place it here.”

Jai-Prakash grimaced an apology at Arnav as he set the tray down before leaving the room.

“Now, Saale-Sahib, the tea is here so you may as well have a cup,” a smiling gesture from Jija-ji. “Come and sit with me.”

Arnav wanted to growl at him, but there was too much respect in his heart for this man. He accepted the cup his brother-in-law offered and fiddled with its delicate handle as he spoke.

“It’s my life. You know me, you know my views on marriage aren’t those of others. I don’t want to get married because of societal pressure. Forget that, I don’t even believe in marriage.”

He sipped before continuing, “Everyone has their own views. My views are just as important to me as Nani’s. I want to live life my own way.”

“I know, Saale-Sahib,” Jija-ji made a placating gesture. “But isn’t it just as important to abide by the wishes of our elders? You can live your own life while respecting their desires. Try it her way for a while.”

Jija-ji reacted to his scathing look with a chuckle, “Try to understand, my brother! Look, even glaciers melt. And Nani will surely change her ways when she sees you’re making an effort. Who knows, she may even come around to your way of thinking. I learnt early in life that if we want to safeguard our future, we have to think carefully about the decisions we make today. We shouldn’t take any steps, especially on a whim, that we’ll regret in the future. Saale-Sahib, don’t forget that the arrow shot from a bow, and the words that leave our lips, can never be taken back. And life doesn’t have a rewind button that you can press to undo your mistakes.”

Arnav stood, heart pounding and fingers curled into fists as he took a few steps away from the bed. Flashes of memory left a bitter taste in his mouth — the broken pearl dori and her ensuing tears, her fall from his office window, broken bangles at the guesthouse. And her parting words —

“You hate me, don’t you? Hate my lack of status? You don’t want to see my face? Then be happy. Because I’m going away from you forever. I’m returning to Lucknow. Forever.”

He didn’t fight the wave of regret that rose like a spectre in his chest, unforgiving and relentless and ready to haunt him for yet another night. Instead, he made a vow.

I can’t undo it, but I can make it right.

Chapter 4

[phati-sari]

Hello, PS! How have you been? I hope everything is well and you're taking care of yourself. I apologize for not being able to contact you for a while now, and I saw that you updated, and I finally got the time. But I hope you're taking care of yourself with everything that is going around with COVID-19 and the Australian fires. I recently finished reading Charade (as you can tell) and Tere Bin. And gosh, you do have a way with words, don't you? This is going to be a long message haha sorry (p1)

(p2) Chapter 2. His desires, his words, him looking at Khushi when he orders his mithai oh em gee. He literally hunted her down and found her. This is so Arnav and that’s scary but exciting? The way he sees her, his emotions, everything is beautiful. His words, like him accepting to himself that she is beautiful and that he just wants a few words with her gutted me. Love is the wisdom of the fool, no? And he is either running towards it or from it and he’s headed towards it with everything.

(p3) His words are defined through his actions. He is a man of action than words and here he is standing at her doorstep and speaking, conveying that he is not going anywhere. His actions may be different but his desire for her is real. You previously analyzed that Arnav would never cheat on his partner even if he is unhappy in his relationship. This is shown in this chapter when he breaks it off with Lav.

(p4)Even though he may have thought about her when he was in his relationship, he does not act on it, and that’s what I guess makes it more unique. And it is not like he leaves her stranded, but he tries to help her in different ways, the Arnav behind the ASR. I would like to believe its because he knows how it feels to have someone pull the rug out under you. Further, I love how you express him, his words matter, his resolve crumbling when he sees her is impressive.

Hello!

I’ve been okay – you’re right, it’s been such a long year already. First fires then floods and now an actual plague. I’m very tired, honestly.

Thank you very much for reading both of them!!! Arnav absolutely did literally hunt Khushi down. Writing it, I knew he was bordering on stalking, and I disliked it a lot but I felt it was in character. He went to Laxmi Nagar to stare morosely at her house, I feel like all he needed was a lie to tell himself (in this case, I’m here for my factory and because Nani wants sweets) so he could stare morosely at her father’s sweet shop in Lucknow. 

Hahahah, he certainly feels powerful things towards her. I think Tere Bin is an opportunity to explore something the serial showed: when Khushi is taken away from Arnav, he realises how irrelevant everything else is. He wants her, just her, and he’ll do anything to make that a reality. This happened when she quit, when she finished training Lavanya, when she got engaged, and of course, during the kidnapping. Each time, the realisation was stronger.

He isn’t going anywhere. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s committed to Khushi. He needs time to work through what he wants and what he needs, especially since in this story Khushi won’t be in his home every single day so he can get to know her better. I suspect he’ll need an external push before the end, but I hope this journey ends with him laying his heart at her feet.

The Lavanya angle was difficult for me. As you’ve said – he won’t allow himself to pursue Khushi while he’s in a relationship, and with Khushi in Lucknow and out of his sphere of influence, it’s a hard for him to continue with the internal falsehood that’s it’s only lust and he can conquer it.

The manner of their breakup was inspired by the first breakup in the serial. All I see when I watch those episodes is his intense relief that he can now pursue whatever he shares with Khushi. So I tried to convey the detachment I saw in him. I’m glad you saw that he tried to her help Lavanya in his own way. He knows that what he’s done is unfair but the alternative is even more horrendous.

I’m super glad you liked it!!

[phati-sari]

I watch Yaadon Ki Baarat (Star Parivaar Awards 2018)

My stream went super low res as soon as Khushi came, as if Hotstar knew that’s what I was watching for after showing me three ads about some god-awful biryani. As predicted, it was just EJ but with Khushi monologuing.

1. Khushi aa gayi!

I like her dress but where is her sindoor and mangalsutra?

2. She has a picture of Teri Meri hanging from a dead tree.

At least they used a photo someone could’ve legit taken. In EJ they used photos only a satellite or extremely creepy photographer could’ve gotten.

3. “Yahan aa ke Arnav Singh Raizada jaise unromantic log bhi romantic ho jaye.”

Fuck off, Khushi. He brought the stars down for you.

4. “Vaise Arnav-ji yaad hai na aapko?”

Hon. HoNeY. Stahp.

5. “Yeh hai Khushi ki khushiyon ka pedh. Uski yaadon ke pedh.”

No Khushi, it’s the dead tree from LOTR. Honestly, your husband is a gardener. Why, hon, why?!

6. Okay. Obviously it’s going to be flashback galore.

I like these ones, the first smiling Rabba Ve where she feeds her pattal to the cow. The photoshoot. The honeymoon dance.

7. DON’T TEASE ME LIKE THAT YOU M*****FU**ER.

OMG even though I knew it was just audio of him saying “Khushi” my heart absolutely flipped out. And her dupatta was just stuck on something, FFS.

8. Ahh the first meeting.

And Hotstar is finally streaming in HD. Just in time to see bitwa’s face. Haayyyee. Gosh, it really is orgasm confetti like Amrit describes it, isn’t it?

9. “Pehle takrar, phir pyaar”

That’s reserved for meet-cutes hon, and not people who sexually assault you within five seconds of knowing you.

10. You know, I could just watch all these scenes myself, I don’t need Khushi narrating.

I liked EJ a lot better ... there was novelty in seeing Arnav finally say the things I knew he was thinking in the serial. Khushi was always jabbering way so this isn’t as exciting.

11. “Kitna khadoos the Arnav-ji. Vaise ab badal gaye hain. Bahot. Humne itna lad liya pehle hi, ki ab ladai-jhagde ka quota khatam! Haan! Sachi!”

Yeah, um, as if we didn’t see you use his fear of abandonment against him in EJ.

12. Ahh yes, the oh-so-romantic fall from the window. </sarcasm>

Also, which idiot was taking photos of them when they eloped?! Like that is a photo they 100000% do not have.

(Did NK snap a photo as they were being yelled at?!)

13. “Bewajah jo chidhte hain, na, unhe chidhaane mein bahut maza aata hain.”

Cut to the storeroom where Arnav knew she was talking to another man despite not giving him a chance to explain the guesthouse thing. Yeah. So much teasing here.

Who edited this? Did they never watch the show?

14. HAHAHAHAHA omg how did she say that with a straight face?!

Surely even she remembers Arnav hated parties.

15. Eee, I loved seeing her perform though.

16. Oh get out of here, Khushi, you did not think something bad was going to happen to you.

And he came to rescue you!?

17. Ugh, this is my favourite serial and they’re ruining it.

Stahp.

18. ASR: Yelling apologies at BAE since 2011.

19. Eeee. The three signs she’s in love :)

Hmpf I love.

20. Get lost, Khushi. Thoda tadpana is totally different from flirting with his cousin until his family forms rishtaa-wale plans.

21. “Dil ne dil se baat ki, aankhon ne aankhon se. Aur pyaar ho gaya!”

This Rabba Ve gives me life. The way they smile!!!

22. OH THEY SHOWED THE FAIRY LIGHTS

Yay!

23. “Ee ka majak hai? Eh Titaliya, bolo, ka hai ye sab?”

I’m with you Bua-ji.

24. EXCUSE ME WHAT THE--

She just said “Shaadi thodi na thi. Toofan tha toofan. Par maza bhi utna bhi aa raha tha.”

And then it flashed back to him telling her that they’re married for six months and then dragging her out to the poolside.

“You mean nothing to me.”

Bahut maza aa raha tha, hai na Khushi?!

25. And now it’s showing me an ad for the Star Parivaar Awards.

Cos, you know, it’s relevant.

26. "Iss double khushi mein, double energy ke saath, bahut jald milenge aap aur hum.”

No.

No. No. No.

No don’t bring it back no no no.

[phati-sari]

Hi PS :) I wanted to ask you how different you think Arnav & Lavanya’s relationship is to ArShi? Because it’s so hard for me to imagine that Arnav had relationship(s) before Khushi. Cuz she was just it for him. It really makes me wonder how he felt for Lavanya that he started dating her, because the show makes a point to highlight how differently he behaves with Lavanya & Khushi. Just wanted your two cents on that :)

Hello!

I’m not sure what’s so hard about it … except that there are lots of people who are made uncomfortable by the idea that Arnav had relationships before Khushi (see: Arnav’s virginity). I think the serial showed us what he was like. 

He wasn’t holding back from Lavanya. Not in the beginning. It wasn’t like he did things for her knowing that one day he’d meet someone to whom he could offer more. 

Let’s take the scenes where Lavanya was introduced as an example. She interrupted Arnav at work and he didn’t mind. He spent time with her, indulging her every whim and obviously enjoying the affection she lavished on him. They’d been together five months at that point. He even went as far as to remind her that she is one of the few people in his life who can waste his time like that (remember that to him, Time Is Money).

His behaviour did change when Khushi joined AR. But whereas some people seem to interpret it as “Arnav never even liked Lavanya in the first place”, I see it as a manifestation of how he felt about Khushi. 

Once Khushi became a permanent fixture in his life, I think Arnav was very aware that he was dating Lavanya but sexually attracted to Khushi (and note that sexual attraction and love are two different things for Arnav). And so we see him reacting uneasily to Lavanya being physically affectionate with him, in private but most importantly in front of Khushi.

He was self aware enough to recognise that he’d snapped at her when he was angry at himself. He apologised to Lavanya by giving her a designer handbag, who liked and accepted his apology. It was only when he tried the same with Khushi, and it backfired, that he realised that he could do more than that. Khushi made him capable of more.

The difference between Lavanya and Khushi is that Lavanya accepted Arnav exactly as he was, mood swings and all, whereas Khushi made him want to be a better man. Lavanya learned to live with all his rules and issues, and until she met Khushi, never once pushed for something he didn’t want.

I agree that he was different with Khushi, but no one has the exact same relationship with everyone they date. Khushi wanted more, and he wanted to be able to give her more, so we saw him change for her in a way that he never did for Lavanya, and in a way that Lavanya would have never asked for. Because it was Khushi, using Lavanya as a mouthpiece, who wanted him to change the circumstances of that relationship.

I think that Lavanya meant a great deal to him at the time they were together, but slowly, his attraction to Khushi took over everything to the point that he was basically nauseated whenever Lavanya touched him.

I think it’s interesting because the audience for this serial, for a number of religious and cultural reasons, doesn’t really know how to interpret dating. Dating is seen, in our movies and TV shows, as something one does to fill in time until their True Love arrives. Which means that, most of the time, the Other Woman is portrayed negatively compared to the Wholesome Purity of the female lead. I see this being carried into the fanfiction and analysis that surrounds this serial.

But most people date people they like, people whose company they enjoy, people whom they prioritise in their lives. As Arnav did with Lavanya.

He liked her. She was special to him. He hated that he hurt her so much in the end. Yes, he fell in love with Khushi and yes, she was his destiny, but I don’t feel like we have to diminish what he had with Lavanya just to make it so. 

You might also be interested in this response and this post.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 06.10.17 lb

shivaay’s resisting wife. coz he knows that without tanya’s nazar on him, he’s especially vulnerable and anika’ll be able to break him in 2 minutes flat. 

aaaaaaaaand it’s out. anika’s in danger.

lmao please shivaay. when have YOU ever taken anything on face value and listened to the other person????? 

WIFE BROUGHT OUT THE BIG GUNS. THE VOWS. 

lmaooooooooo, aur likho vows. badiiiiii utaavli chadhi thi VOWS karne ke liye. it’s come back to bite you in your own butt. 

… that wasn’t vow #2 though?? 

or vow #3?????? homegirl is just making her own vows now. 

HOW CAN YOU WALK AWAY FROM HERRRRRRRRR 

the nuclear warhead has been brought out: the I LOVE YOU

god my heart is breakingggg hearing her cryyyyy 😭😭😭😭

so is hissss. “TUM MERI BAAT KYUN NAHI MAANTI HO????” so much frustration and love and exasperation in his voice. 😭😭😭

lmaoooo what is khanna doing with this shivaay cut outtt?? 

HE’S A BUSINESSMAN. NOT A MODEL OR SOME KINDA PRODUCT ENDORSER. WHY DO THEY EVEN HAVE THIS IN THE HOUSE, GOD SO CRINGEYYYYY.

ok come on, that’s clearly a two dimensional shivaay. but tanya’s thinking has been impaired by jamaalgota overdose, so i’ll forgive her. 

why are they doing this out in the opennnn? there’s 30 million rooms in this house, use any one of them?!?!

watch the damn video anika, then you’ll know on your own. 

oh hoooooo. it’s the mill ka raaaz. 

but that has to do entirely with the buddhe log. why does shivaay have to forget ANIKA for that??? 

HAAAAAAAAA CALLED IT. ONE OF THEM SUGGESTED SETTING THE PLACE ON FIRE FOR INSURANCE. PFT. SO PREDICTABLE.

you fuckers ain’t slick. i know how allllll your brains work now. 

wow anika’s sticking to the whole “papa” calling thing huh? 

oufffff ok we gotttttt itttttttt. allllll of them were there. 

ok it’s the 90s, why are all of them dressed like it was the 70s??? may i remind you, this was the fashion in the 90s: 

so, there were a millllllllllion other ppl there too, as we can hear from the screaming???? how is this video being used to blackmail you??? omggggg shivaay, you’re soo damn stuuuuupid. this is the fucking video that made you STUMBLE around shocked????? THIS LITERALLY PROVES NOTHING.

DID HE JUST SAY THIS IS INDIA’S BIGGEST INDUSTRIAL DISASTER??? UM??? HELLO??? BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY???? IT’S THE WORLD’S WORST INDUSTRIAL DISASTER, LET ALONE INDIA. KUCHHHHH BHI. 

next, they’ll say shivaay’s plane crash was THE WORST PLANE RELATED DISASTER ever. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

… wasn’t the oberoi empire built by dadaji oberoi???? and then taken over by tej and shakti? now it’s being built in the 90s? 

fuck your bullshit family bro. you need to cut loose from them already. take your wife and go be a venture capitalist in some other country. just… please. leave their dumb asses to deal with this on their own and do something for yourself. 

“shaaaaaant shaaaaant naaari shaktiiiiii!”

i liked it better when he called her his jhansi ki rani. it was cuter. 

lmaoooooo tanya’s like really??? shivaay’s stilllll standing there? in the saaame pose??? 

WHO DIS????????????? IS IT ABHAY???? *SQUINTS AT SCREEN REAL HARD* IS IT? I CAN’T TELL???? 

OOOOH YAAAAAAAAAAS MY GIRL GAURI ABOUT TO FUCK THIS ASSHOLE UP AND HONESTLY, MY BODY IS READY 

notice shankarji being behind her. literally. YOU GO GIRL. SHANKARJI AND I SUPPORT YOU!!!!! not that you need us, coz you a badass all on your own, but we gotchu if you need us. 

I SAID STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S MY TURN NOW!!!!!!!!!!! 

THAT’S RIGHT BITCH. MY GIRL ABOUT TO TEAR YOU A NEW ONE, IN THE QUEEN’S ENGLISH. 

oh man, this is going an unexpected direction with the heartfelt speech from gauri. 

girl, did arjun not teach you any cussing? THAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU LEARN IN ANY LANGUAGE. 

“i’ve faced a lot of problems in my life… alone. then you came in my life.”

‘…. and the problems got exponentially worse. you’re the worst thing to ever happen to me.’

…. is this the speech arjun taught her? 

THIS BITCH DOESN’T DESERVE TO EVEN BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU GAURI, LET ALONE BE MARRIED TO YOU. 

“i wanted you to love me. the way i love you.” 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i’m weeping. 

time to fucking switch to hindi and fucking FUCK THIS FUCKER UP GAURI. jo feel apne bhaasha mein gaali dene mein aati hai, woh english mein kahaan? 

assignment of the day for you guys: teach me your favourite and most creative insults in the replies (preferably in your mother tongue - tell me what it means too!) so that i never run out of shit to scream while consumed by road rage. 

NO DON’T MAKE PUPPY FACE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU. 

*stealthily strokes screen without anyone noticing* 

“ab ehsaas hua, ki humne kitna galat socha aur kitna galat samjha. aur galat insaan se pyaar kar baithe.” 

CHILLS. I HAVE CHILLS. WHAT A GIRL. WHAT A GIRRRRRRRRL. WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE SHRENU PARIKH AS GAURI KUMARI SSSARMA!?!?!?!??! NOTHING. WE ARE ALL UNWORTHY. 

internal monologue: shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit………… 

omg. what a goddess. i can’t even. i am so overwhelmed right now. 

i hope you’re DYING on the inside omkara. it would be nice if you died on the OUTSIDE too. 

NOW DROP THAT MIC AND LEAVE HIS ASS MY QUEEN. 

ok shivaay, i’m sorry, I LITERALLLY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LUCHIII TUCHIIII 2 RS ISSUES RIGHT NOW. FUCKING GTFO SO I CAN WITNESS THE SECOND COMING OF MY GODDESS GAURI KUMARI SSSSARMA

that video literalllllllllllllly doesn’t show anythinggggggggggg, why the fuck is he even allowing himself to be blackmailed by this????

THE OBEROI FAMILY LITERALLY HAS NO IZZAT LEFT YOU IDIOT; MOSTLY THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR POLYGAMOUS WAYS

lmao anika’s solution is “tanya ka tentwaa dabaana” 

ok what world is anika living in where she thinks these people are not capable of doing this???? his mom literally fucked over HER OWN SON, you think these assholes wouldn’t do something like set one mill on fire (with all the workers inside it) for insurance money??? 

now that wife’s gotten what she’s wanted, she’s in the mood for luuuuuuuuurve.

damn right, shivaay. you better recognize that this woman has been literally carrying your ass since the day you’ve met. 

i hate when these ladies don’t accept apologies. GIRL HE LEFT YOU THE NIGHT OF YOUR WEDDING AND CAME BACK AND PRETENDED TO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, COME ON. A PETTY BITCH LIKE ME WOULD MAKE HIM GROVEL, BUT YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TAKE THE APOLOGY.

UGH I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWOOOOOOOOOO AND YOUR STUPID FICKLE PAL MEIN TOLA PAL MEIN MAASHA NONSENSE RELATIONSHIP RN; COULD YOU TWO JUST FUCK OFF, I WANT TO SEE GAURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

ok yes, my queen is back!!!! 

oh good, she told him that shivaay sent her for the classes. 

love how she hauled his face up to make him look at her. DO HER THE DIGNITY OF LOOKING HER IN THE EYE WHEN YOU LEARN THE TRUTH, YOU WEAKASS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

girl you don’t owe him saboot. you don’t owe him FUCK! 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAS GIRL SCREAM AT HIM SCREAM THE FUCK OUT AT HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM 

“mujhe laga….” 

AKSJDKHAK OMKARA, TU TOH MOOONH HI MAT KHOL; WARNA SCREEN MEIN GHUS KE TERI MARAMMAT KAROONGI MAIN. YOUR TURN TO TALK IS DONE. SHUT UP AND LISTEN. 

i can’t stop staring at shrenu’s abs as she’s yelling. girl share your ab routine! 

I AM SAVOURING THE LOOK OF REGRET ON HIS FACE LIKE THE COOKIE MONSTER SAVOURS COOKIES 

GIRL ENOUGH TALKING. LEAVE HIM ALREADY. I WANNA SEE HIM CRY TEARS OF BLOOD. 

i don’t like how she’s phrasing this as a “aapki khushi” thing…. i want her to care about HER OWN KHUSHI IN BREAKING THIS RELATIONSHIP COZ HONESTLY, A GIRL HAS LIMITS. AND THEY WERE CROSSED SOME TIME IN…. OH I DUNNO… THE THIRD WEEK OF FEBRUARY, AS FAR AS THIS FUCKER IS CONCERNED.

“aaj se… gauri kumari sssarma ka saaya bhi aappe nahi padega.”

YES. GOOD. 

girl take that fucking mangalsutra off and throw it in his fucking face too before leaving. 

GAURI KUMARI SSSSSSSSARMA, OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

god what a glorious breakup. it was amazing. i just wish anika and bhavya knew about it so they could take gauri out for pizza and dancing and telling her how much better off she is in life without him.

yeah, get on your knees and assemble that shit like a puzzle, you loser. it’s not like you have a life or friends or anything anyway. 

amazing how he’s picking exactly the right pieces though.

the reading out loud is ruining the effect. it should just be him reading it silently and crying his guts out. 

but omg, WHAT AN AMAZING SEQUENCE THIS WAS. 

god i literalllllllllllly do not care about you stupidass criminal buddhelog. 

“aainda se hum nahi ladenge.”

has this pact ever worked FOR ANYONE? EVER???? 

LOLOLOLOL THEY’RE ALREADY FIGHTING. 

“WE WILL ALL ACT NORMALLY.” 

LMAOOOOOOOO YOU PPL ACTING NORMAL IS THE MOST ABNORMAL THING. 

did shivaay gettttt some last nighttttt? like, of course they didn’t bang, but at least some make out action???? come on, they haven’t seen each other for two weeks! 

even fake biwi is colour coordinating with shivaay. she’s done her research on this guy pretty well.

damn, anika busting in there like the kool aid man. 

“kisi ke room mein aane se pehle KNOCK KNOCK karna chahiye.”

look at him talking like herrrrrr, lol. 

lmao “AAPKA HARD DISK CRASH HUA HAI…”

tanya’s like gosh these ppl are hella dramatic and i can’t…. 

god i loveee her sooooo much 😍😍😍💖💖💖

LMAO DO FOOT DOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaha shivaay can’t keep a straight faceeeee at that.

“aapki shraddha hai! shraddha!” “nahi, meri shraddha nahi, meri tanya hai.”

lololol “datun use karti hai yeh, woh bhi lao!!!!”

i’m so glad at anika making all these moves on hubs. ladki ki confidence is amazing and this is literally all i wanted from this relationship. 

ugh ok fuck these two and their stupid sexiness. ugh. so fucking sexy. HOW ARE YOU TWO RESISTING EACH OTHER??? GO BANG IN THE GUEST ROOM ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooo yeah okay pinky, stay in your dream world. those two are going to be having secret sex against all the vertical surfaces in this house. 

tanya’s a wafaadaar minion. still not giving up the name. 

yes, bhavya’s here to fuck up the mithaai waala traitor. yaaas girl. 

bhavya’s a right badass in her uniform. i like. 

OMFG WHUT ABHAY?!?!?!!?! WHY?!?!?! 

JESUS CHRIST ABHAY, PUT A LEASH ON YOUR GODDAMN “BROTHER” INSTEAD OF HARASSING MY GIRL BHAVYA LIKE THIS. 

omfggggggggggggggggg i knew itttttt i knewwwwwww rudraaaaaa did this to her omggggggggggg I FUCKING KNEW. FUCKING KILL HIM SOMEONE WHEREVER THE FUCK HE IS OMFG I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW

WHO THE FUCK KNEW I’D HAVE TO GIVE BALI OF OMRU BEING DECENT HUMAN BEINGS FOR GETTING AN ADORABLE SHIVAAY!?!?!? IT’S TOO HIGH A PRICE TO PAY!!!!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫

ok fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu omkara 

NO GAURI IS NOT HERE YOU WILL NEVER GET TO SEE HER AGAIN YOU SCUMBAG

of course it’s a different fucking gauri. every third north indian girl is called gauri. 

why the fuck doesn’t arjun button up his shirtttttttt???? its so disturbing. who the hell does he think he is, sanjay dutt from the 90s???? 

whooooo is this hoodie waala fuckerrrrr yaaaar???? jhalak dikhlaaaaaajaaaaaa. *does the dance* 

yup, i feel sorry for tanya already. she has a scumbag boyfriend too. god i hate every man in this show. 

is this fucking abhay or nottttttttttttt???? please don’t be abhay. i want abhay to be “good”. well, as good as a Y chromosome possessing person can be in this show……

damn bhavya, you smarty pantssssss. 

lol this jankyass sim tracking software tho.

yes, suffffffffffffffer omkara! suffffffffffffffer! 

lmao babaji is here to rub some salt in omki’s wounds. i love ittttt. 

just wait till shivika find out about this. they gonna beat your damn ass from here to bareilly. 

“bhesh badal kar….” 

yeah i don’t really care for omkara getting a makeover and trying to woo gauri. i want him to be HIM and fucking grovellllllll till the end of this damn show. 

literally do not care for this stupid mill waala raaz. ouff.