#Kermit flailing here

[alexis-royce]

My murder mystery game is out on Steam! It's like Clue meets Ace Attorney, if there were creeping monsters hiding in everyone's pockets.

The game is completely free, and won't keep you for longer than 2-3 hours, so it's perfect for a cozy evening in, or a session streaming with friends!

Download it over here!

[chiefofstafftanner]

§

*faint* oh please?

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Muppet LOTR

[at unicorn fuck club] Jim Henson: hi ho jim the Henson here Henson: tonight I've got a fantasy story i think you'll really enjoy Henson: it's about a planet inhabited entirely by puppets Henson: [flailing arms wildly] yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Henson: on a distant planet, the dark crystal cracks Henson: causing the urskeks to transmogrify into the skeksis and the mystics Henson: only at the great conjunction can the gelfling jen heal the crystal and unite the JRR Tolkien: hey tell the story with David bowie GRR Martin: yeah we want David bowie

Henson: but guys the dark crystal is a serious fantasy experiment Henson: creating an entire world only through the magic of puppetry and Tolkien: [sitting in an opera box with GRR Martin] Boo! We want David bowie! Martin: And Jennifer Connelly!

Tolkien: what's your next number? something terrible, i'm sure! Martin: oh ho ho ho! Henson: i was thinking we would do muppet lord of the rings

Henson: Robin could be Frodo, fozzie could be sam Tolkien: what??? no! no way! Tolkien: he's a rod puppet! Tolkien: how are people going to see their big hairy stinky feet?! Tolkien: you need full body puppets for this role! Henson: well i guess we could use sweetums Henson: or maybe big bird Tolkien: fine! just put some fuzz on those feet!

Henson: and Clifford would be Gandalf Henson: Kermit as Aragorn Henson: Sam as Elrond Henson: gonzo as tom Bombadil Henson: who would also narrate, of course Tolkien: oh of course

Henson: and that means Camille would be goldberry Tolkien: what? the most powerful being in all of middle earth played by a chicken?? Tolkien: no wait this kind of works

Henson: Miss Piggy as Arwen Tolkien: that's all well and good but LOTR has TWO girls in it Tolkien: who would play Galadriel? Henson: well we actually do have two girl muppets Henson: so i guess it would have to be Janice Tolkien: oh ok i guess this works out pretty well then

Tolkien: this muppet LOTR idea is wonderful! Martin: terrific! Tolkien: well, it's pretty good! Martin: yeah it isn't bad Tolkien: actually there are some bad parts Martin: lots of bad parts Tolkien: it stinks! Martin: terrible! Tolkien: boo!

[always-coffee]

Rhysling Poems!

**Kermit Flail**

Three of my poems have been nominated for the Rhysling! I am super proud of all of them. (The SFPA is doing it differently this year. There's a longlist, which they'll whittle down via committee.)

You want links? I got links.

The Deadlands

Small Wonders

Uncanny

I am incredibly proud of these pieces, which each mean a lot to me for different reasons. If you haven't read them yet, I would love for you to. **hopeful face**

[vintagerpg]

Few megadungeons are quite the smack in the face as Jason Sholtis’ Completely Unfathomable (2022). It actually collects two previous publications, Operation Unfathomable (the underground) and Odious Uplands (a wilderness), and translates them to the DCC system. Everything about this is bold and clear — the writing, the design, the art (by Sholtis himself, as well as Christ Brandt, John Larrey, Stefan Poag and Skullfungus). The art in particular does a lot of work here — strong line work keeps things comic bookish and cartoony, which is a nice contrast to how unrelentingly deadly the book is.

I’m not even sure the cave complex here counts as megadungeon. The maps seem rather reasonably sized, and a lot of the material is dedicated to bespoke encounters rather than detailed room descriptions (it feels more like a collection of hex descriptions, actually). It is an unrelentingly strange place (so are the Uplands, honestly), but I hesitate to call it gonzo, a term that for me evokes the flailing and shouting of Kermit the Frog — gonzo games are just explosions of chaos, one right after another. This is a deeper sort of weird, with odd characters wandering on and off screen in a way that implies a larger sort of ecosystem, but one that remains inscrutable to me. Similar to the way aliens in many ‘60s science fiction novels are just bizarre, and even when you get them explained, they never entirely make sense. Or, like Voyage to Arcturus, where humans grow new organs upon arrival and no one freaks out about it. That’s the vibe here (I mean, the name of the book IS Completely Unfathomable). There’s a strong sense of near-psychedelic wonder as well; granted, the party is probably too busy dying repeatedly to truly appreciate those wonders, but still.

The bestiary is A+ and worth the price of the book alone. So many odd creatures. I particularly like the decapitants (humanoids with aerials and satellite dishes instead of head) and blind antler men (fungus-headed people), but honestly every monster in the book brings something new to the game.

[compo67]

hellooooo

i'm typing with both my hands in compression gloves, with my wrist braces on, so this may not be a long post lol

i posted! for the first time in 5ever i posted! a new chapter is up for photo op on AO3 and Patreon. kermit flail! yay!

it feels SO GOOD to write again!

i am slowly reintegrating social media back into my life. very slowly. but i'll admit that i came on here just to see what jensen said politically that caused such a stir in one of my j2 groups and was fucking RELIEVED that it was an endorsement for kamala. PHEW.

watch out for me in the next couple of days on here. not tonight though. i'm tapping out to go read more of TJ Klune's Wolfsong (which omg y'all should read).

i have a cookie epic to tell y'all about next time. <3

[ormspryde]

Today's amphibian prompt was 'famous', so here, have this. Bonus artist note, I was singing 'wiggly arms' to myself the whole entire time.

[ID: A pixel drawing of Kermit the Frog yelling into the sky and flailing, with wiggly arms. /ID]

[dangermousie]

God, this sequence was BRUTAL and I adored it. Basically, he can't help himself and keeps throwing jibes about her and the painter and she finally has had enough:

And so she loses it, and hits back and in her attempt to protect herself, draws blood! (The thing is, she has NO idea that he is still in love with her; hell she still has no idea he lied in jail. She is angry and vulnerable.)

And that hits him straight in the heart - all his barely controlled, unacknowledged terror that he's missed his chance, that she won't ever like him again, that she's moved on.

So he addresses it in a mature manner in a private measured discussion. Psych!!! She drew blood so he goes for the jugular ten times worse. The man has only two defense mechanisms when hurt - to retreat behind his walls (tried, didn't work) or when that's impossible, to lash out to make the other person back off and/or to hurt as he's been hurt. And so this utter and complete mess pours out of him, in front of the whole office...

The thing is, what he doesn't realize (and she doesn't realize it either, she's too emotionally compromised) how utterly this rant proves he's so so so in love with her - it doesn’t just show he's out of his mind with jealousy, it's like him reminding her, in the most dysfunctional way possible, see you liked me me me meeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeee! And the fact that he talks about all these little things she did back way when means he actually remembered the supposedly insignificant to him things for YEARS in glorious technicolor. He has revealed himself completely and neither of them is together enough to realize it.

And then he brings this up as his finishing comment and I kinda flail like Kermit because this is the crux, isn't it - this is him, telling her in the world's most dysfunctional manner that he is feeling betrayed, that she should keep her word and choose him and just - he was never great at communicating or showing his feelings in a functional way but he got better (his sister shortly before she died even commented that he learned to express love) and then jail happened and all the progress was undone and then some. This is a man mere weeks out of jail, any hope of him processing and expressing himself in a functional manner would be deluded.

I mean look at them, both equally heart broken and such a total mess.

The thing is, the fact that it makes sense for someone with his issues and his personality and his background to lash out like this, does not negate the fact that he hurt her terribly and she deserved none of it. If you think about it, in his whole life, she's the only person who's ever fought for him - everyone else was either unable or unwilling. I mean, I am sure his mother didn't want to die and leave him but the fact remains, he was the caretaker between the two of them; he feels his sister picked her abusive husband over him, Gao betrayed him, dancer friend couldn't do anything, teachers didn't care (look at her mommy expelling him), cops didn't care (his sister's accident) etc etc. And here is this beautiful, kind, warm, brighter than the sun young woman who fights for him and fights for him - fights for a place on his team, fights for his friendship and his heart, fights to provide a place for him after his life is wrecked. She just doesn't give up and not even he can make her give up permanently. And then he thinks she's dating painter dude and logically so what - she has every right to do so - but that pushes all his jealousy and abandonment issues and he just implodes.

I love so much that the office is on her side btw (man, they must view the real life soap as a hell of a bonus to their working life) and the thing is, the moment after he said what he said, you can tell it sink in for Li Xun how unforgivable and heinous that outburst was (and not like in jail for a good cause either.)

Poor girl! Yes, your ex boyfriend is an idiot, I am sorry.

[writergirl2011]

38 and 40 😁

More asks!! Yaaaay!! (Picture Kermit the Frog flailing here.)

38. "This never happened" fix-it fics or "this happened but" fix-it fics?

Honestly? For me, it depends in part on where "this happened but" takes place. If we're talking anything past the first half of S8E4, then I'm going stay that I would prefer "this never happened" fix-its. Which isn't to say that I don't enjoy the "this happened but" ones that happen after The Bang That Was Promised. There have been some great ones. (And, er, cough cough, I recently wrote one that was kind of a compromise between the two--it happened, but it didn't, if that makes sense.) But if I had to choose, I'd choose a canon divergence from that point.

Now, if we're talking about "this happened but" about something that happened before then--like a fic set at the end of season 6 where Jaime sees all that green smoke coming from where the Sept of Baelor used to be and decides, "hey, I killed a king for doing what Cersei just did, I can't let her get away with that," then I'm definitely going to read.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

THAT'S JUST MEAN!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

"Go away!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you killed me."

😈

Oh, great. Now I have a new plot bunny in my head because obviously, one of them didn't mean to kill the other, or maybe they had to do it to save the universe or something and now they're being haunted by the other's ghost, and...ARGH!!!!

Thank you for the asks, anon! If anyone else would like to ask me anything (and you're willing to risk me killing off either Jaime or Brienne in nine words or less lol), you can find the asks here 😇

[eclairmilkshakes]

Trick or treaaat 🎃🍬

AHHH MY FIRST EVER TRICK OR TREATER THIS IS MONUMENTAL!!! WAAAHHH [insert Kermit flailing gif here]

[friedwritinggamingghost]

Sadly, I was not able to finish a story in time. But here is part of the first chapter I'm working on.

@inklings-challenge

Chapter 1

Molly giggled as she held up a pink teacup filled halfway with cranberry grape juice. 

“Coco wan’ tea?” She smiled at the young teen sitting across the table from her.

“Of course, honey,” Macarius answered, with a big smile, careful to keep his teeth from showing as he reached over the snag the precariously tilting cup from her little hand before it spilled all over the white tablecloth. Removing a stain wasn’t that hard really, but it was simply just beneath him.

Inwardly he grimaced. He knew what tea was and … This. Wasn’t. It. Whatever this was, bordered on absolutely vile. Sweet, with a cloying bitter aftertaste that clung to his tongue. To his mouth. His throat. Everything. But he would drink it anyway, because the sweet little sunshine that sat in front of him was giving it to him and he would do anything for her.

Molly wriggled in her chair with another giggle. “Coco we can play the ligh’? With the colors?”

She waved a hand at the kitchen around them and its incongruous explosion of color.  The light pink walls spotted with tiny, light blue handprints that her mom had encouraged her to put on the walls clashed heavily with the kermit green curtains held open by cords over the kitchen sink. The harvest orange of the oven, sitting between two burner stove tops where normal counters should have been made it all so much worse.

There were three large mismatched refrigerators in a gorgeous sea green, crimson red and the last, the ugliest shade of harvest gold that looked like it should have been a smear in a diaper.  The table they were seated at, and an island for counter space were crammed in the limited space that was left.

Mac sipped at the vileness in his cup, somehow managing not to gag. “Certainly.”

He stood and bowed to her with a flourish, escaping from the cup of ew.  “What color does my Princess Sunshine desire?”

Molly let out a happy shriek as she bounced in her chair. “Rai’bows!”

She squirmed out of her chair and started jumping around the kitchen, too excited to sit still as her peals of laughter filled the room.

Mac sighed. Of course, he should have guessed and simply not wasted his breath, but still. Perhaps some day his little girl would change her mind and want something different for a change. He wouldn’t want to miss giving her the chance. Though, she did also choose the hardest color choice, with its exacting demands to reach perfection and that, was the only thing that he was willing to give her.

Closing his eyes, he centered himself, flexing his bare toes into the ugly beat up sheet linoleum that had once been dark green with big flowers sprinkled over it, his fingers working the complicated hand seals of the magic before flinging it outwards. 

The room erupted in a flash, every surface of the room suddenly colored in sparkling soft rainbows, the lines perfect where they curved around corners and edges no matter what their shape.

A shriek of pure joy preceded Molly slamming into his legs and holding on as she tried to climb up his leg.

“Hold on Princess!” Mac yelped, protecting his groin from flailing hands and bonking skulls. Sidestepping enough that her forehead hit his outer thigh he swooped in, picking up the little girl and settling her against his hip with an arm around her waist and her front foot trapped in his other against his stomach. He wasn’t about to get nailed with a heel down there again. Ever. Contrary to popular belief he did learn from his mistakes.

Molly wiggled happily as she reached her hands up excitedly. “It pri’ee! Coco pri’ee!” she squealed into his ear as Mac flinched at the deafening volume right in his ear.

“Molly?” a warm, amused voice came from the other room. “What are you doing sweetheart?”

“Coco make the rai’bows mama!” Molly yelled

Macarius gave Molly a hasty squeeze and kissed the top of her head before depositing her to stand on the chair. “You must stay down Sunshine,” he commanded softly with a quick kiss to the top of her head and its crown of strawberry scented blond curls, even though he kept his arm around her so she didn’t fall off the chair. He would never, ever endanger Princess Sunshine, not even if it was as simple as a scraped knee.

Molly wiggled happily in his hold as she sat down just as her mom walked in, letting him safely dance away so Molly’s mother didn’t bump into him. That would be …. awkward.

“He made the rainbows again?” Elizabeth asked, smiling at Molly as she leaned down and kissed her, Molly’s arms wrapping around her head as she kissed back. 

“Be sure and say thank you,” she said as she straightened up. She pulled out an empty, large matchstick box filled with what appeared to be a doll foam mattress and a pillow and a tiny blanket.

“Here’s a bed for Coco,” she placed it in front of Molly, rubbing her daughter’s head. “You can put it on the table by your bed tonight.”

“Bu’ mama,” Molly frowned as she picked it up. “Coco bigger me.”

“Oh he’s bigger than you?” Elizabeth chuckled as she knelt by her daughter who was nodding at her. “But do you want to hear a secret, boo?”

“Sec’re!” Molly giggled. 

“Because he’s invisible,” Elizabeth whispered conspiratorially. “He can shrink down and fit in here.”

Molly’s eyes widened as she turned to look at her friend. “Coco s’rink?”

Across the kitchen Macarius winked. 

Elizabeth chuckled as she kissed her daughter’s head and walked over to the refrigerators. 

“Clean up your area boo, mommy’s making dinner.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Coco fit?” Molly enquired in a whisper, patting the box that was sitting on her own bed, right next to the flattened bright yellow lump of the stuffed easter duck she used as a pillow.

Well. Of course he could fit. He just didn’t want to. “Of course I can Princess, if you wish,” he said from where he was sitting cross legged on the foot of her bed. 

“Is small,” she frowned. “You have big boy bed?”

“Hmmm. What if I told you that I don’t sleep and that I watch over you always to keep the bad dreams away?” he confessed.

Molly frowned unexpectedly. “You not dreaming?”

Mac patted her ankle where it rested under the covers. “Only if I want to?”

“You not want dreamies?” Molly asked,  looking up at him in confusion. She wiggled out of her bed and ran to her little bookcase. She grabbed one of her children’s books and ran back with it. She threw it on the bed as she clambered back on and with a lot of little grunts and exasperated growls, she got back under her blanket.

“Here,” she grabbed the book and pulled it onto her lap, opening it. “I read now and you can want dreamies.”

Using her finger she read aloud.

“Once upon a time, there was an old Sow …,” she looked up at Macarius. “What’s a sow?”

“A female pig,” Mac answered her. “Like Miss Piggy?”

 Molly nodded and looked back down. “...with three little Pigs, and as she had… not en-oo-ff, eee,” she pointed to the word. “Coco help?”

“Enough.”

“Enough to keep them, she sent them out to– What that?” She huffed. “Why does see have k at end?”

“Seek,” he answered her patiently. “It’s a fancy way of saying to go find something, Princess.”

 “Ok, seek their fo’turnee.” Molly giggled. “That silly!”

“Fortune, sunshine,” he commented, gently correcting her mispronunciation. “Big people have to go out and work like Daddy does, and that’s what they went to do, because their Mommy couldn’t give them everything like Daddy does for you.” 

“And Mommy and Coco,” Molly nodded as she leaned out of her blanket and crawled to the end of the bed and wrapped her little arms around his waist. “Thank Coco.” 

“You’re welcome Princess Sunshine,” Macarius answered softly.

>>:<<

“And that’s a sloth bear, they eat termites and sometimes tigers eat them cause they know where the bears go to get termites.” Molly explained what was happening on the television to Macarius. 

“But don’t worry Coco, the bear gets away this time because predators try not to be injured and even though some tigers are very good at eating the bears, an injury from the bear can kill the tiger because it’ll slow the tiger down which will make it harder to get prey. So the tiger might starve.”

She patted his arm comfortingly. “So this bear will be ok and chase off the tiger.”

Macarius looked down from the tv to where Molly was curled up against him under her soft poofy blanket that he’d pulled over her.  He didn’t often let her snuggle like this but she’d been so lonely lately with Mommy being off and visiting her sick sister and without their regular baby-sitter Jane. Miss Alma, the old bat that was here instead, wasn't well suited for Molly. Cold. Intolerant. So dismissive of his Princess. His little sunshine was wilting like a rose without water. 

“Oh that’s good, I suppose. But what about the tiger? You don’t want him to be hungry though, do you?” he murmured, stroking his fingers over the blond head that was jammed up against his side.

“Hmmm. I don’t, but I also don’t want the bear to die.” Molly wrinkled her nose as she thought out loud. “I know predators got to hunt and eat, but that means they eat other animals that don’t want to be eaten. It's a co-nun-drum.” She nodded decisively.

“That’s a really big word for you Sunshine.” Mac praised the five year old. “The world does work like that, and humans eat animals too, because they are tasty. Does that bother you?”

“No, some animals are made to be eaten. That's even in the Bible. But it's up to us to take care of them. Like good care so they’re happy like our chickens. And when it's time to eat them, we make sure they don’t get hurt, just dead.” Molly informed him. “But the predators eat their prey alive. And that hurts them a lot.”

“That's a very honorable way to treat animals that you choose to eat Sunshine. I’m proud of you,” he praised. “I want you to think about this idea though, okay? Predators, a lot of them, can’t not hurt something and sometimes they don’t have the right things like we do to be able to just make them dead and not hurt. It’s not something they can help, it just is.”

“Ok.” She looked back at the tv. “Oh that’s an orca. They don’t hurt humans, but other animals they bully and throw into the air to break their bones!”

“Hmmph,” Mac grumbled, “well that isn’t very nice is it?”

[dailypepe]

So this is a bit outside of my usual prawnposting, but as a queer Muppet fan, I want to share a project that I've been honored to be a part of for the past few months. It's The Muppet Pride Zine: The Lovers, The Dreamers, and You! Yaaaaay!! *happy Kermit flails* And pre-orders are opening December 1st!!

This zine showcases the work of 64 artists and 10 writers, with all proceeds going to LGBT charities. I contributed as a writer, and (since I'm not just obsessed with Spanish prawns, but with 50-year-old stoner musicians as well) I wrote a Zoot/Lips fic that takes place during the Muppet Show era. It's called "B-Natural," and here's the summary:

Zoot has always expressed himself through his sax rather than words, so when an incomprehensible trumpeter joins the band, the only way they can communicate with each other is through their music. But this leads to them forming a deeper connection than either of them would've thought.

And I'm able to share a snippet of the fic too!

I'm really proud of the work I did on this, and I'm blown away by all the talent contained in this zine. This is something you won't want to miss! I'll be sure to post more info when pre-orders open. In the meantime, please spread the word!

[monstersandmaw]

For your Tav: "🍉Does your OC have a particular piece of jewelry that they always wear or refuse to part with?" and "🍻What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day?"

Kaerlyn the wet sadboi drow gets another ask!!!

*flails like Kermit*

🍉Does your OC have a particular piece of jewelry that they always wear or refuse to part with?"

He doesn't currently have any jewellery that means anything to him, but I like to think that maybe Halsin will whittle him a duck pendant or something. It's not magical, in that it has no enchantment, but it is very special to him.

🍻What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day?

If Kaerlyn has a bad time, he goes off alone. He gets very easily overwhelmed, especially with everything that's been going on in his life lately. He escaped the Underdark with his father aged 8, and they lived on the streets for a while until his father decided they would be better off in the wilds, which they both infinitely preferred. When Kaerlyn was 16 though, his father died, and he was left completely alone. He still finds people very overwhelming, and if something upsetting happens, he doesn't like having to be around people while he's processing it. If he's just getting a bit stressed but doesn't need to go off alone, he'll sit on his bedroll and ask Scratch if he wants to come over and let him stroke his fur for a bit, and sometimes the Owlbear Cub will join them and he'll just kind of... zone out for a while.

Thanks for asking!!

(Odd OC asks here)

[dark--whisperings]

44 and 45 for the ask game for fanfic writers🖤

Ooooh I love these two!

Biggest piece of advice for writers is coming from my tenure as a beta reader. Don't write for others, write for yourself. That's what matters. It doesn't matter if you're writing becomes popular or not. What matters is that you wrote the thing you wanted the way that you wanted and that you are proud of it. Everything else is a bonus. Guarantee that your work will put a great big smile on at least one person's face. 🤩 In that same vein, you don't *need* a beta reader; your writing is beautiful in it's raw form. Though if you choose to find someone to beta for you, the writer-beta relationship (if you find the right person) is very special.

In terms of my favourite fanfic writers, I'd have to say acernoir (@obi-wkenobi), himboskywalker (@himboskywalker), and Gwendolyn (@storiesofchaos). I literally cannot reccomend these writers enough... I lose my god damn mind everything I get a notification that they posted something new. Seriously, I'm actually the real life version of the flailing Kermit emoji.

Thanks for the ask!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

(ask game questions can be found here)

[kyberblade]

I give you…. Gripping beskar. 😉

This is for @grippingbeskar, the reason I got into Din fanfiction, both reading and writing it, and the person I talk to almost daily about anything and everything.

I am so glad we started talking, you’re one of my best friends, and you have me rolling on the floor daily, friend.

Your support means the absolute world, and when you share your work with me, I feel so honored to be let in on a little secret before everyone else, and honestly a bit flabbergasted that you listen to my Kermit flailing ideas in the comments.

@aesnawan blew this out of the park, something I swear we talked about jokingly one night and I know I took screenshots of for reference, and they are floating around somewhere, but I cannot find them - but I remembered, and wanted to give you this belated Christmas gift/Thank you for dragging me into this deep dark fandom hole, I love it here gift. 🤣

[himboskywalker]

no rush i’m just curious what your plans are for updating roy? I just keep thinking about that ✨accidental knotting✨

Hoping for Tuesday or Wednesday! I’m super stoked to get this next chapter out for you guys too! I’ll be out in the woods sword fighting next weekend so I’m trying to get this chapter out as well as prep for other things irl and on here so *flailing kermit* while I go into adhd supermario mode!