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myhusbandsasemni · 5 months ago

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Warlocks - Part 1: Endless IKEA

Author's notes: I am so excited to be sharing this! This story is the comedy horror I've always wanted to have a try at writing! Keep in mind, that the kind of sort of main character is the first non binary character I've ever written so I will be working out the kinks for how to write about Them. They/Them pronouns can really mess with the flow of stories so it's going to be a thing and a half working it out. Enjoy!

Masterlist

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“Keesha! Come ooooon! Let us level up before we get there! Please!?”

Keesha snorted, watching the road as she drove her DND party to the nearest IKEA, Tori working on her knitting in the passenger seat while Puck, Elio, and Leo sat together in the back.

Puck huffed, flopping back into Their seat and folding Their arms. “Whatever. Can you at least tell us a bit about what the plan is for DND today?”

“I’ll explain it when we get there,” Keesha replied simply.

“Put your seatbelt on, Puck,” Tori said, not looking up from her yarn as she tapped her finger along the stitches to count them.

“I can’t. It’s against my religion.”

“You should,” Elio said. “You’re right in the middle. You’ll go through the window if we crash.”

“Skill issue.”

Leo snorted, reaching out and getting Puck in a headlock despite how quick the smallest member of the group was. “Don’t worry. I got ‘em,” Leo said, ruffling Puck’s hair.

Puck whined and complained, twisting and turning to try and escape the older man’s grasp as Keesha said, “Well, what are your guys’ plans for the week?” It was a feeble distraction, but one that usually worked.

“I have a craft fair I want to go to on Tuesday, and I hear there’s a public auction of an older widow’s things going on so I may see if I can gather some more vintage clothing and jewelry,” Tori replied, putting her knitting in her bag to watch out the window as they drove.

“I’m putting together more of my cosplay,” Elio replied, tapping his fingers over the strap of his bag. “I should be done with plenty of time for the convention next month.”

“Nice! I can’t wait to see that when it’s done. Let us know if you need any help. Leo? Any plans?”

“Oh, you know, bingo at the old folks home,” he said with a grin, flashing a look at Keesha through the rearview mirror.

She rolled her eyes. “I was joking, Leo! Don’t make me suffer!”

Leo chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah. I just have work to do. Might catch up on this show my mom has been going on about.”

“Oh! How is your mom?” Tori asked, turning to see Leo better from the front seat.

“Doing very well. You should come over sometime. We all know you’re her favorite anyways,” he said, finally releasing Puck who gasped and clawed at the air dramatically.

Tori snickered.

“What about you, Puck?” Keesha asked.

“Going to my sisters’ recitals,” Puck replied, combing Their hair carefully back into its messed up coif. “They’re pretty excited about it. They aren’t too bad, either.”

“Awww, recitals? Would I be able to get a ticket?” Tori asked, hand over her bosom.

“And let you find out my age and how many sisters I have? No way.”

Tori rolled her eyes good naturedly. It had been a bit of a long shot to ask anyway. Puck was defensive about Their childhood and a lot of Their personal details. As a group, they were all really good friends, the closest friends they all had to each other, but Puck was just weird like that.

“Are we going to the IKEA?” Elio asked as he watched out the window.

Keesha clicked her tongue. Leave it to Elio to figure it out so quickly. “Yeah, we are. That’s where we’ll be playing today’s session. I checked with the employees that this would be okay and they said it would be fine.”

“Oh! Are we doing that maze puzzle game I saw on tik tok?” Leo asked, excited.

Keesha nodded. “That we are. My own version of it, of course!”

There was a general call of excitement and interest in the group as they pulled into the parking lot.

Soon they were inside, taking a moment for Keesha to explain the rules of the game. It took a few minutes for the group to get used to the new environment for their game, but Puck broke the ice, going all in on the wheezy voice Their warlock had. Soon they were working their way around the IKEA, laughing and looking at the puzzles Keesha had brought along with her. Keesha led them back and forth through the maze where sphinxes looked to kill the group of warlocks, but the warlocks, as always, proved to be just cunning and charismatic enough to get away with their shenanigans.

“Now! Brave Warlocks, if you think yourself as such,” Keesha called in the booming voice of a sphinx, checking her watch to see what time it was as they hadn’t seen anyone in the aisles around themselves for a while. “You have walked all of this way! And for what? What purpose do you seek?”

The four players crowded together and whispered together for a moment. Elio stepped forward, fidgeting with his small jedi braid. “We had come seeking a challenge and fun. To learn more than we knew before. Knowledge is more priceless than any wealth we could have found in this maze, O Sphinx.”

“The sphinx regards you, now more thoughtful than annoyed. ‘You would do well to keep on this path, dear adventurers. There are many that forget the way in this world. I grant you leave.’ And with that, she steps back, and for the first time you see the exit out of this maze.”

“Man, I kind of want to stay here,” Tori said, voice pitched up for her character, Cleo. “There were so many paths we didn’t take.”

“Will we be able to visit?” Leo asked in the tone of his character, Kylo. “Ah, but we need to get Joseph home.”

“I have had more fun here than at home,” Joseph/Elio said hesitantly. “Though I do miss my sisters… would it be allowed for us to return one day, Sphinx?”

Keesha smiled, waving her hand to the group to get everyone walking back towards the entrance to the IKEA. “That you might, travelers. We have never had ones such as you desire to return.”

“This seems like a good place to rest my weary bones when I am done learning what there is to be known here,” Puck said in Jasper’s voice. “My patron would not mind if I took a bit of a retirement.”

“That’s if you die, old man,” Tori said, amused.

“Aye, if I die. I-”

The IKEA will be closing in five minutes. Please make your way to checkout.

“Is it really that late?” Leo asked, surprised as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time, his silver and brown pony tail falling forward over his shoulder.

“It is. I’ve actually been trying to find the exit for a while now. That last puzzle was me trying to put that last bit off till we could get to the entrance,” Keesha replied, bemused. “Worse comes to worse we can pick a wall and follow it.”

“The exit was that way,” Elio said, pointing.

The group turned to where he was pointing and followed in an instant. Elio had a flawless sense of direction. One did not question his ability to get unstuck from any situation.

At least, normally.

They walked for the full five minutes, checking their phones and watches nervously as they went.

“I hope we get locked in the store,” Puck said, a huge grin on Their face.

“Don’t say that,” Keesha groaned. “I have work tomorrow.”

“Come on, it would be an adventure!”

“I don’t want to be fired. I was sick a lot last month and I’d rather not push my luck any farther.”

“Skill issue.”

Still, Puck ran ahead, looking around. They rounded a corner up ahead just as the lights shut off.

“What the heck?” Leo asked, getting his phone out and turning on the flashlight as Elio fished an actual flashlight from his bag. “I thought they cleaned up for a half hour or whatever after people left the store.”

“I guess not?”

“That is how places with food courts typically operate,” Elio said. “I do think we are being locked in, though. Perhaps we should find one of the bed sections for the night so Keesha can be rested for work?”

“I’d rather try the doors first. I-”

There was a yelp from up ahead and they saw a dark figure pelting back down the aisle from where Puck went. There were several things behind Puck. Shambling things.

“What is that!?” Leo yelled, horrified.

“RUN!” Puck yelled. “NO, WAIT! CLIMB!”

The group quickly moved, looking for shelves to climb. Keesha and Leo were up first, Leo helping Tori out while Keesha tried to shine her phone light so she could see what was chasing Puck.

Puck climbed up like a cat, turning and to see the things stop chasing Them and going for-

“ELIO!” Leo yelled.

Elio had chosen a shelving unit that was much trickier to climb than previously thought, and whatever was down there, blurred shapes in the moving light, caught him by the ankles.

He yelped, struggling, but he kicked whatever it was in the face, adrenaline sending him the rest of the way up.

“Are you okay?” Tori asked, but Elio was pale staring down at the monsters.

They looked like people at first, but their pure white fingers were clawed, their faces smooth and blank, their clothing seeming to fit but hanging… strangely over where their stomachs should be.

“What is going on?” Keesha asked, watching the creatures trying and failing to climb up to them.

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” Puck replied from where They were standing on Their own shelving unit. They judged the gaps and quickly leapt across to where Elio was so he wouldn’t be alone on the shelving unit away from the others.

“We should look at your ankles.”

Elio nodded, looking away from the monsters and to his pants. He rolled it up, showing the scrapes and bruises in his skin.

“Yikes, man. Got anything in your bag for that?” Puck asked.

Elio nodded.

“Course you do. Hand it over.”

The monsters didn’t stay for long, but there were just enough soft sounds and shiftings in between the shelves to convince the group that it would be a very bad idea to come down until the lights came back on. If they ever did.

Part 2

#writing #warlocks #horror story #endless IKEA #puck #keesha #elio #leo #tori #scp #EEEEEEE #I really hope people see this and read it #It's a good story for sure #I have such plans!

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