#Keep Away Cat Spray
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zeke is genuinely such an awful person but that doesn’t prevent me from being endlessly sad about his story jesus christ that roach does not deserve this
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if I have been a little quiet this past week that is bc life is swinging a giant cartoon mallet at my head and cackling like the joker experiencing the adrenaline rush of batman driving the batmobile towards him at 120mph. thank you
#my parents went away on holiday and left me in charge of my siblings and the house#which is fine and has happened before and my siblings are basically adults anyway#but my cat got sick again and had to go to the vet to the tune of hundreds of £#turns out he has a skin condition caused by flea bites which idk how he keeps getting them he is an INDOOR cat#the amount of flea pills i have given him in the past 6 months cannot be good for his health#so ive been spraying the whole house down with flea killer and washing all the bedsheets and laundry on the hottest settings#and then this evening he trotted downstairs with two bald paws where he has LICKED THE FUR OFF and it is raw and bleeding in spots#idk wtf to do at this point#he had another seizure too so his meds need adjusting again#so im going to spend more £££ at the vet#to top it all off i have non refundable coach tickets to visit my dad tomorrow so i kind of have to go#fucking. 8 hour journey. kill me#so my sister is going to have to take my boy to the vet instead and im anxious abt that#my special little boy shouldnt have to go to the scary place without me :(#but anyway losing my mind at the emd of my tether have barely picked up my phone the past few days#like what am i doing wrong does my cat just want to die or does he hate me#one thing after a fucking nother#and i have to go into fucking CENTRAL london tomorrow id rather eat fibreglass insulation xx#at least i get to read while im on the district line my beloved <3#dogbunni diary log
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WE DID IT! He’s getting snipped on Tuesday! I’ll post a receipt then, and I got enough to get him the metacam for post op too so he’ll have an easier time. Any further donations will be returned as soon as I see them, thank you so much!
I’ll post the receipt and pics of our groggy boy on Tuesday or Wednesday before he goes to his new home this weekend. Thank you, I can sleep again.
Jorts needs help! Our neighbor has started trapping and shooting cats and I talked him into releasing Jorts to me yesterday, but I don’t have the room or resources to keep him. I’m disabled with two cats of my own in a tiny home in a rural area of Mississippi. Right now he’s in a storage shed but he can’t stay there for long, it isn’t mine. He’s the sweetest boy and I don’t want him to die like that.
I found someone willing to adopt him if I can get him fixed, and there’s a clinic two towns over running a special on boy cats right now. I just need $40 and he’s safe. PLEASE help if you can, boost if you can’t, he’s so close!
UPDATE:
WE DID IT, I CAN PAY THE CLINIC, please don’t send any more donations, thank you all so so much!!
#and quietly plot how I’m gonna keep cats away from that asshole’s land#maybe I can sneak over and spray some predator pee?
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Shigaraki, perilously trying to tell you that an enemy’s quirk turned him into a cat.
You, too busy making up silly songs about the new cat you just found.
—
Spinner: “Where’s Shigaraki?”
You: “I dunno, but check out this cat.”
You, holding up Shigakitty.
You: “I’m calling him lil Stinky.”
—
You, petting Shigakitty on your lap.
Spinner: “I’m getting a little worried about how long Shigaraki’s been missing.”
Dabi: “He’s probably out pissing around some arcade. Who cares? Maybe I’ll step up and finally give this group a competent leader.”
Shigakitty, walking over to Dabi and swatting him on the head.
Dabi: “Ow-.”
Dabi, spraying him with water: “Bad lil Stinky.”
—
You, trying to feed him.
You: “This is premium canned tuna.”
Shigakitty, swatting it away.
You: “Hmm… maybe you prefer chicken instead?”
You turn around to get a different can and turn back seeing Shigakitty with a bag of Doritos in his mouth.
You: “Oh.”
—
Mr. Compress, walking into the room: “I just saw the most peculiar thing.”
You: “What?”
Mr. Compress: “I swear I saw lil Stinky trying to play on Shigaraki’s Nintendo Switch.”
Shigakitty, desperately trying to start Animal Crossing.
—
Twice and Toga, trying to teach Shigakitty to play fetch.
Shigakitty, sitting in place as toy mice fly by him, glaring.
Twice: “I don’t think he likes this.”
Toga: “Let’s try something else.”
Twice, opening up a bag of catnip.
You, walking in: “How’s lil Stinky doing?”
Shigakitty, rolling around on the floor, high as fuck.
—
You: “Wait until you meet our leader Shigaraki. I hope he lets me keep you. I think he might. It may be surprising, but he can actually be kind of sweet sometimes.”
Shigakitty purrs and curls up next to you and you both go to sleep.
The quirk wears off during the night.
You wake up, see Shigaraki in your bed, and scream.
Shigaraki sits up and sees he’s back to normal.
You: “Why are you in my bed?? Where’s my cat?!”
Shigaraki: “That was ME.”
You, gasping and poking his face: “Lil Stinky?”
Shigaraki: “Stop calling me that.”
You: “Sorry.”
Shigaraki: “So… You think I’m sweet?”
You, freezing: “I don’t recall.”
—
The league did not stop calling him lil Stinky for several weeks.
#afterwards he starts coming to you so you’ll pet/play with his hair#secretly he tried the catnip again- but unfortunately it no longer worked lmao#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#league of villains#shigaraki#tomura#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#long post#Dabi#touya todoroki#toga#toga himiko#twice#jin bubaigawara#spinner#shuichi iguchi#mr compress#sako atsuhiro
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forever and a day | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem long distance reader
nothing can separate them, except maybe 9,000 miles and a couple of oceans.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
oscarpiastri
liked by logansargeant, landonorris and 893,209 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: finally back in the homeland and reunited with my girl
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user1: oscary/n nation we are so back
user2: australia always does us so well
yourusername: can you convince mclaren that they should keep paying for our dates
oscarpiastri: i think we were technically working
yourusername: were we? it never feels like work being with you
oscarpiastri: you didn't notice all of the people around us and filming us?
yourusername: i only have eyes for you osc, we know this
oscarpiastri: hehehhehehehee
yourusername: also i have to completely commit you to memory before you fuck off for another couple of months
oscarpiastri: you could always just come with me
yourusername: let me get my degree first, one of us has to be educated osc
oscarpiastri: i have my a-levels? lando doesn't even have gcses
landonorris: why am i catching a stray?
yourusername: because my boyf is smart
landonorris: i've got street smarts 😩
oscarpiastri: you've been catfished like five times already and nearly had your bank details stole?
landonorris: well ... i like to see the best in people?
user3: thank you mclaren for giving us the oscar and y/n content
user4: and the proof that love still exists
user5: terminally lonely girls block mclaren, oscar and y/n.- it's for your mental health
user6: or if you have commitment issues this is some good exposure therapy
logansargeant: oh who did you force to be your photographer this time?
yourusername: you never learnt reading comprehension in school?
logansargeant: i can read i just choose not to read the soppy shit you and oscar say to each other
oscarpiastri: leave us alone
yourusername: you have a problem with us no matter what 🤨
logansargeant: do NOT make me the bad guy for complaining about hearing your guys' sexy time
oscarpiastri: we spend A LOT of time away from each other
yourusername: and by the sounds of it, you could learn a lot
logansargeant: you know what WHATEVER
user7: they terrorise logan so much from opposite sides of the world, pray for him when she can travel with oscar
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 83,409 others
yourusername: i love any piece of you osc but the separation anxiety is kicking my ass
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user9: oscar gave y/n a plush of himself
user10: no cause he's literally such a black cat
yourusername: he blushes just like that as well
user11: oh really?
user12: want to share with the class
yourusername: that's for my eyes only
oscarpiastri: i'm glad he got to you safely
yourusername: i just about tackled the postman 😔
oscarpiastri: poor graham, we should get him a better christmas gift this year
yourusername: yeah sorry graham but you sprayed the kitty with your cologne and i can't be held responsible for my feral behaviour
user13: they get their postman christmas gifts?
user14: they have the same postman?
user15: yes, y/n lives with his family
user16: really?
yourusername: they can't get rid of me
oscarpiastri: they also love her as much as i do (literally, i have to fight my sisters to spend time with y/n)
landonorris: so this is why we were waiting so long for you at the airport
oscarpiastri: well, yes. it's very important i get y/n a souvenir
landonorris: i could've slept for like an hour longer?
yourusername: just because you don't understand true romance lando 🤨
landonorris: i know romance!
yourusername: maccies in a hotel room is not romance
landonorris: you guys are just freaks about each other that's not my fault
user17: y/n hanging out with oscar's sisters is so precious
user18: if they aren't married soon i will no longer believe in love
user19: they're 23?
user20: tbf i forget that because they've been together since they were like 15
logansargeant
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 351,904 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
logansargeant: oscar forced me to post this so y/n could 'remember how hot he is while he's away at war'
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user21: oh wow... thank you logan!
user22: this is not exactly what i was expecting when i opened instagram but alas i'm not complaining
yourusername: WOOF WOOF WOOF
oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭
logansargeant: someone please remind me why i'm friends with you two
yourusername: because we're your only friends?
yourusername: wait sorry that was mean
yourusername: i just get protective
logansargeant: you're telling me 🤨
oscarpiastri: i'm swooning 🥰🩷
logansargeant: i give up
alexalbon: why am i a part of this oscar thirst trap? why are you posting a thirst trap of oscar?
yourusername: HE'S A GOOD FRIEND
alexalbon: i didn't consent to be part of your weird long distance lust
yourusername: oh girl ain't no one looking at you when oscar is there
alexalbon: you know what you're mean :( i want you to stay in australia
yourusername: i promise i'm a lot nicer when i'm with osc, the distance makes me cranky
alexalbon: i see, remind me to never take oscar out in a race
logansargeant: i think that's wise - i heard her yelling down the phone about carlos
yourusername: i had to block him to stop myself
user23: i am honestly so confused
user24: i think we just let them do it, we'll never understand
landonorris: do NOT ask me to do this @oscarpiastri
yourusername: booooooo you're such a debbie downer
oscarpiastri: he's just s fuckboy he doesn't understand
landonorris: i don't think i'll ever understand you two
yourusername
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 119,056 others
yourusername: one degree hotter xx
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user26: fucking finally now we can get y/n in the paddock every weekend
liked by oscarpiastri
user27: mclaren social media team seen celebrating just as much
oscarpiastri: and i didn't think it was possible for you to get any hotter
yourusername: maybe a piastri jersey?
oscarpiastri: and a ring?
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
yourusername: you know i'll never say no to that
yourusername: do nOT propose through an instagram comment oscar - nicole
oscarpiastri: noted 😔
yourusername: but name the time and the place and i'll be there baby
user28: so we could defo get a y/noscar proposal this season
user29: i would be so insufferable it's unbelievable
user30: the way i just know it was killing oscar not being able to go
user31: did you guys see the kicked dog eyes in the paddock yesterday 😭😭😭
oscarpiastri: they had to force me on the plane
landonorris: no they legit were about to call mick or pato
user32: did y/n convince you to not run away to australia?
oscarpiastri: maybe ....
charles_leclerc: ummmmm who is this oscar? why hasn't your father been introduced?
yourusername: HI
oscarpiastri: y/n is the love of my life and you SHOULD be able to meet her next race weekend
yourusername: so have i also got another father-in-law?
charles_leclerc: you seem to terrorise the other drivers a lot so - yeah!
yourusername: at your service (unless it's you hitting oscar, then there's no MERCY)
charles_leclerc: okay you are kinda scary wtf
oscarpiastri
liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 1,203,677 others
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oscarpiastri: unbelievably proud of you and everything you've done darling. i'm so sorry i couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but i'll make it up to you before you know it xx
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user33: oh to be loved like this
user34: they make me feel lonely like the world apart i can only imagine how insane it'll be when they're back together 24/7
yourusername: i love you so so so much osc. you've done more than you could know by supporting me through my education. we have the rest of our lives to be together, so don't beat yourself about it now
oscarpiastri: but i'm so proud of you and just wanted to be there to celebrate you :(
yourusername: osc i can feel you pouting through the screen baby
landonorris: he really is and it's kinda annoyingly cute
yourusername: of course it's cute it's oscar 🙄
landonorris: right so i'll take back my congratulations then
yourusername: FINE BY ME
user35: obsessed with how y/n and lando already have this weird sibling bond
user36: it's the weird relationship that you kind of love between your gf and friend
user37: it's all cute until they actually fight
yourusername: if he makes any wrong step against oscar i'll crush that loser
landonorris: ahhaaha funny joke
yourusername: you're a 5'5 twig, i could snap you in half
user38: i need them to recreate the last photo when oscar wins his first race
user39: i think pinterest would explode
yourusername: no but no joke, i love you so much osc and i can't wait to start the new chapter of our life
oscarpiastri: i love you too xx
oscarpiastri: sorry to my sisters but they're losing their live in stylist because you're never ever leaving me ever again
oscarpiastri: that makes me sound like a possessive asshole but i just have attachment issues
yourusername: no these years since you started in f3 have been actual hell without you and i never want to leave your side again
yourusername: i just love watching you do what you love
oscarpiastri: i'll always love you more
user40: who's chopping onions wtf
user41: i'm invoicing them for my therapy
mclarenf1
liked by fredvesti, arthurleclerc and 1,256,046 others
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mclarenf1: don't tell oscar but we've got a surprise guest for him 🤫
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user45: take me out back and shoot me please and thank you
user46: so real of you
landonorris: is this why his phone is currently hidden in my drivers room?
mclarenf1: maybe ...
landonorris: if he fights me for it that's on you guys
mclarenf1: wait admin has just realised you definitely shouldn't be on your phone
landonorris: LOL
user47: mclaren you better not fuck this race for oscar because i need my big rom com ending kiss in parc ferme
user48: omg romance writers do i have a plot for you
user49: the way this would seem so unrealistic if i read it in a book but these fools really have been together for like eight years and are unbelievably in love
yourusername: heheheheh thanks for flying me out on such late notice xx
mclarenf1: no worries queen
yourusername: you guys better be on top form, you can't hide from me in the garage
mclarenf1: hahahaha 😅😅😅
user50: is y/n the reincarnation of nicole scherzinger? like a wag that goes fucking mental
user51: and wears team merch with pride
yourusername: nicole is a queen (thank you for one direction queen) but you guys do not want me on the microphone
user52: you and oscar karaoke? please?
yourusername: we once did breaking free together but you'll have to bother logan for that video
user53: OSCAR PLEASE WIN AND DO DRUNK KARAOKE
oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,556,308 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: i told you she was my lucky charm. overjoyed to get my first win, it's a dream come true and to have the love of my life with me makes it even sweeter. y/n, i'll love you forever and a day x
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user54: CONGRATS OSCAR 🧡🧡🧡
user55: i'm having such a proud mum moment
user56: tears in my eyes
user57: not as much as y/n that girl was going THROUGH IT
user58: we need her mascara, cause that shit didn't budge
yourusername: I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU OSCAR
yourusername: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
yourusername: AND THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR ME TO BE AT A RACE TO WIN
oscarpiastri: i guess i just knew in my bones you were here and simply had to win
oscarpiastri: i just wanted to see you so bad that i drove the fastest to the finish line
yourusername: well tell them to hurry up and debrief so we can celebrate 👀
oscarpiastri: ON MY WAY
user59: maybe we will get that karaoke?
logansargeant: congrats bro! @landonorris i hope you brought some ear plugs, if not you might want to start drinking now
landonorris: SOMEONE GET ME A DRINK STAT
yourusername: i'll personally buy you a drink because i'm going to rock his world tonight
oscarpiastri: 😎😎😎
landonorris: and here i thought you were my little innocent teammate
yourusername: there's nothing little about him
landonorris: EWWWW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE
yourusername: all celebrations aside, i'm so proud and i'll love you forever and always x
oscarpiastri: it's always been you and it will always be you
yourusername: i love you
oscarpiastri: i love you too
fin.
note: WOOOOOOOOOO OSCAR!!! (i'm ignoring everything else to do with the race, oscar is my king)
#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1#oscar piastri instagram au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri social media au
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I saw what you said about me
#shut up em#mouse#meeting you was like meeting someone my soul already knew from a thousand lifetimes#I know you want to drive me away#but you can’t. I’m the stray cat that keeps following you home no matter how many times you spray me with the hose.
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18+
Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, friends to lovers, mentions of nudity, brief mention of masturbation (m). Basically, Eddie finds you sleeping naked in his bed.
A/N: Idk I've had this idea in my head for too long now and I need to exorcise it out of me with this little drabble or I'll never be able to get on with my life.
Forest Hills trailer park wasn't your usual stop after clocking out of work but after the day you’ve had you don’t have it in you to wait for the next bus back to your apartment. Your place is 30 minutes away but the journey is sure to take even longer in the current downpour.
Staying over at the trailer wasn't anything new. A spare key was entrusted to you years ago and you made use of it on days like this to crash at Eddie’s for convenience sake. The key came with the promise that you were welcome to anything you needed even if both Eddie and Wayne were away – shower, food, an extra change of clothes, what have you, and you needed them all today.
With Wayne out of town for a few days and Eddie due back in two hours you sink into auto pilot, weary down to the bone from your shift. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t feel as weird as it probably should when you started to undress in their kitchenette, hanging your work clothes over the back of a nearby chair, rummaging through the fridge in your bra and panties for a quick bite to eat before heading for the shower.
There wasn’t much in it besides beer since Wayne hadn’t been around to stock it. Eddie always preferred ordering take out over getting groceries – something you were going to nag him for again when you had the strength to do so.
Cereal it would have to be.
You located a box inside one of the cupboards, tipping the wheaty, sugary contents straight into your mouth without bothering with a bowl and spoon. It’s not lost on you how similarly you’re acting to Eddie right down to the unruly state of half undress, wiping crumbs off your lips with the back of your hand. If you finished off with a belch it'd be like he never left the trailer this morning.
The messy mouthfuls of cereal prove enough to silence the toad’s croak of hunger that'd been gurgling noisily inside your belly, putting the box away.
Traipsing through, feet dragging, you threw your clothes into the washer next along with your underwear, completely nude now in the Munson trailer as you made your way to the shower – but not before reaching out for Eddie's Garfield mug that sat on a nearby shelf, turning it around so that the cartoon cat's lazy smirk no longer faced you. For your modesty.
You try to keep the shower brisk, not wanting to use up all the hot water but with the way it sprays down on your aching body, the steam and heat combo soothing your poor sore muscles, it’s so blissful that you have to keep yourself from nodding off right there.
You did make use of Eddie’s body wash, some spicy, woodsy smelling thing in a jet-black bottle but you didn't dare use the two in one shampoo that sat in their shower caddy. It might have worked fine for Eddie and his wild mane but you knew better than to apply the stuff to your own hair. Fortunately, experience had taught you to carry a travel sized bottle filled with your own shampoo whenever you stayed over, working over your locks in a lather scented with cranberries and vanilla.
Stamina depleting by the second, toweling off and brushing your teeth takes the last sliver of energy out of you. Eyelids slipping, movements sluggish, limbs feeling too heavy for your own body to hold up – you’re shutting down whether you like it or not.
Dropping the damp towel on his bedroom floor, you intended to change, you really did. You’d even picked out one of Eddie’s washed t-shirts and a pair of boxers out of the laundry and set them down at the foot of the bed to put on before you made yourself comfortable but that’s not what happened.
Still nude, you crawl into bed, seeking warmth and soft comfort, numbed down to a kind of tunnel vision with rest being your one and only goal.
It feels all the more natural because you’re used to sleeping naked in your own bed, much too tired to remember that you’re not in your bed, draping a blanket that doesn't belong to you over your spent body, surrendering to sleep seconds after your head hits the pillow.
It'd still been raining when Eddie returns later. Dragging himself through the trailer, nearly as worn down as you had been, shaking the excess water out of his hair like a dog trying to get dry.
The smell of your shampoo still lingering in the air tells him you're there, finding you curled up in his bed, all bundled up to your neck. The sight makes him smile.
It doesn't take too long for him to join you, following a similar routine – a quick bite with the addition of a beer and then a shower, only he doesn't skip out on clothing himself in his PJ's first.
If he’d shared the blanket with you he might have found out about your lack of dress sooner but as the gentleman that he can sometimes be, he pulls out a spare blanket from the closet so as to not wake you, prolonging the discovery. Being friends for so long meant that sharing a bed was never awkward even after you'd became adults.
That was until the next morning came.
It’s not the stream of morning light brightening from a cool blue to a warm amber peeking in between the curtains that wakes Eddie, or even the tinny smack of his neighbor’s broken screen door gusting open just a few feet away from his bedroom window. It’s the warmth of your ass pressed flush against his crotch and his nose nestled in your sweet-smelling hair that pulls him out of a dream he wont be able to recall later if he tried.
He shifts closer, eyes cracking open, remembering the tiny bottle of shampoo sitting on the bathroom counter. Remembering the new toothbrush placed in the cup next to his own. Remembering the powder blue towel that neither he nor Wayne ever used laying on his bedroom floor.
And then he remembers that he’s not alone.
Oh...
And then he wishes that he was.
Panic snaps up like a beartrap around Eddie when he realizes he's hard – his thick, throbbing erection pressed right up against your body.
Growing clammy, cold sweat beads on the back of his neck but he’s in luck because you haven’t noticed yet, still sound asleep.
This close together, he knows the slightest movement could rouse you. But what was the alternative? Wait it out? Hope to hell his boner goes away? Fat fucking chance. Not when the soft swell of your ass and your body heat alone had him questioning how he could ever go back to his calloused fist after this.
Carefully, desperately, he tries to inch back without waking you but just as he feared, you begin to stir. Your back arches instinctively, seeking out his warm, solid frame even in your sleep.
Shit shit shit.
The covers slip as you shift, your bare shoulders coming into view, eyes starting to flutter open. With no other option, Eddie swiftly rolls on to his back, his hard on no longer pressed up against you but the problem persists.
“Oh, morning”, you greet him through a yawn, pulling an arm out to rub at your eyes, blanket slipping lower but the frantic boy hasn’t noticed yet, too busy whipping his pillow out from under him to place over his lap.
“Uh-hey. Shower’s free if you wanna go first”, he offers quickly, smiling hard, hoping to subtly usher you out because he's too afraid to get up and risk you getting a load of the tent in his pants if he were to go ahead of you.
“Thanks”, you yawn again, still occupied with rubbing at your sleepy eyes to notice your best friend's pale face turning beet fucking red in an instant as you clamber out of bed, blankets no longer concealing you.
Eddie doesn’t know where to look first. His eyes dart everywhere, every bare inch of you on display. So much soft, naked skin it’s making him short circuit.
His gaze eagerly travels over the slope of your breasts as they jiggle gently with your movements, taking in your soft nipples, moving down over your belly and hips, noticing a few new freckles and beauty marks there along the way to the soft curls between your legs.
His erection digs into the pillow, brain dangerously close to fizzing because he’d been pressed up against you like that all night and not even known it.
A shiver works its way through you, making you question why it feels so drafty in his room all of a sudden. You turn back to ask Eddie if there’s anything wrong with the heating, catching the shocked expression on his face.
Looking down, you're met with the sight of your nude body, breasts bare, no underwear. It's a good thing the occupants of the trailer park liked to mind their own business, even if sometimes you thought they did so to a fault because in any other neighborhood your piercing screech would have had everyone within earshot dialing up the cops.
The scream ricochets off the walls at an ear ringing volume, causing Eddie to jolt and lose his balance, falling out of bed while you leapt back in. Grabbing his spare pillow, you press one half against your chest and squeeze the rest between your thighs to shield yourself.
Now he slaps his hands over his eyes.
---
More than anything, you try so hard to push it aside. To pretend that it hadn't happened but it looms over you like a cloud on the brink of bursting with rain.
After three whole days of walking around eggshells around each other it's Eddie who breaks first.
"I can't stand this I don't know what else to do, Can we just talk about it please?"
“Eddie…", you sigh, a gentle warning.
"So what if I saw you naked? you saw my boner!...sort of. I mean, I guess that doesn't exactly make us even but it has to count for something, right? you're not alone in this"
You immediately set your wide eyes on the only other patrons in the diner to see if they’d overheard – two older women swapping pictures of their grandchildren over coffee and cheesecake. When neither of them take a pause in the middle of cooing about little Tommy's third Birthday or little Emily's first day of Kindergarten you redirect your attention back to Eddie.
“Eddie! Keep your voice down!”, you whisper shout at him from across the booth. "There are literal grandmother's here!"
He rolls his eyes. Not mean spirited, just unconcerned by the ladies and what they may or may not have overheard.
And then, even though no one’s paying either of you any attention, you lean closer over your half-finished key lime pie, one hand shielding the side of your face like you’re trying to avoid getting recognized by an ex who’s just walked in.
"I'm so embarrassed...please can we just drop it?", you plead, voice hushed.
He gives you this look of mild incredulity. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me", and the inflection in his tone almost gives him away, prompting him to double back immediately.
The last thing he wants is for you to feel more uncomfortable than you already do. So he doesn't need you to catch on that he's got every moment of your unintended strip tease memorized. Or that he likes to replay what he's since thought of as the best 10 seconds of his life over and over again when he's fucking his fist in the shower.
“I just mean that it's nothing to be embarrassed by. It could have happened to anyone. Who among us hasn’t napped in just their birthday suit before, am I right?” he finishes with a slight wince, knowing none of this is exactly helpful.
And you know he’s only trying to be nice in his own, sweet, bumbling way but you still feel terrible.
"I don't know if I can shake this feeling", you cast your eyes down, looking too close to despondent for his liking.
"Listen I- I don't know how to fix this but I want to. Please just tell me what I can do and I'll do it, okay?"
God, he's sweet and it makes you feel a little flustered being on the receiving end of that gentle stare, needing to shift the mood lest you drown in all that earnestness pooling in his eyes.
It's moments like this that call for a bad joke to cut the tension, right? some momentary and well meaning deflection before you're ready to address the matter at hand again.
Letting out a half hearted laugh, you make your best attempt to inject some humor into the situation.
"I don't know. Maybe it might help if you got naked too", you nervously scraped your fork against the buttery graham cracker crust of your pie, dislodging a few golden crumbs.
It was so very clearly a joke. At least you had thought so. Eddie? not so much.
His brown eyes go wide, looking scandalized, his voice coming out a little more quite than you're used to.
"What?"
"I mean, I showed you mine after all", you tried again in a cadence that was wholly unserious but once again, he fails to catch on.
"You want me to get naked for you?"
You should correct him and you mean to but before you're able to do just that, something about the way he's staring at you makes you want to match his seriousness. The fact that he didn't say no right away strikes you as weirdly intriguing.
"You don't have to", you clarify, adding, "It's just that – well, you asked and I think it could maybe help? to really get us on even ground?”
The words that come out don't feel like you own – foreign to your ears even though they're said in your voice, with your own lips forming them and your own tongue curling around every syllable.
What the hell am I doing?
Eddie pauses. Seconds drag on like nails on a chalkboard as he taps a ringed finger thoughtfully on the edge of his empty plate smudged with faint traces of cream cheese and lime zest.
"Fine. On one condition", he leans back, arms crossing over his chest, smiling wide and megawatt bright.
Oh my god is this really happening?
“...Yeah?”
"You're going to undress me"
---
Part two? who knows. Certainly not I.
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I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!
Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!
featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!
general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \
TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.
Leona
The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.
"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"
Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.
Ruggie
"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"
"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.
Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.
"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3
Jack
He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.
He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.
With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.
You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3
Azul
He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.
But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;
"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.
He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.
He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.
Jade
The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.
"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.
He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.
But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.
He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!
Floyd
Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.
You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.
"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.
Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.
The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.
"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...
He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.
Ya'll are so silly for each other <3
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#octavinelle x reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#jade leech#jade leech x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#jack howl x reader#twisted wonderland headcannons#twst headcannons#leona x reader
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Surgery IX
Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader
Summary: Ingrid does your hair
The first time Ingrid meets you, the only thing she can look at is your hair.
You're absolutely tiny, dressed comfortably in a pair of overalls and fancy Adidas shoes. You actually look pretty cool for such a little kid but it's the hair that has Ingrid wincing.
It's wild.
It poofs out a lion's mane and Ingrid can just spy the singular hairband desperately trying to keep it all at bay.
You have a lot of curls and a lot of frizz. It's a wonder that Mapi's even managed to scrape it all back into a ponytail.
Ingrid's hair isn't like yours. In fact, Ingrid hasn't really met anyone with hair like yours before.
Your nickname is well suited to you as you bound over to Mapi to talk, hair bouncing with every little step.
You truly have a mane of your own.
Ingrid finds herself staring at it many times over the next few weeks. She just can't help it.
There's just something about your hair that Ingrid can't just get out of her head.
She works out what exactly it is the first time she sleeps the night at Mapi's place.
It's a day off when she wakes up again so the plan is the three of you are all going out shopping together.
It's a normal day even if she's slept over at her girlfriend's so Ingrid dresses quickly and steps out into the living room.
She can hear the crying before she even walks out.
Mapi's sitting on the sofa with you on the floor in front of her.
You're in tears, howling and sobbing as Mapi runs a brush through your hair.
She looks to be nearly in tears too.
"I know," She says," I know. I'm sorry, Cub. I'm so sorry but you know you need your hair brushed."
"Ma-Mami! Mami, no!" You sob as Mapi attempts to force the brush through your curls.
Ingrid's eyes widen in shock.
She hadn't ever considered Mapi brushed your hair dry.
It doesn't look to be working well either, not with how distressed both you and Mapi appear to be.
Your hair has always been dry for as long as Ingrid's known you but now she wonders if it's like that naturally or something else.
It's a bit bad to be snooping but Ingrid can't help herself as she slips into the bathroom to have a look.
You're still sobbing by the time she comes back and Mapi's broken down in tears too.
Ingrid sits, gently stopping Mapi's brushing with a soft hand.
You wiggle away quickly, shuffling all the way to the other side of the room by your toys.
"Mapi?"
"It's fine." Mapi furiously swipes the tears from her eyes. "We're fine. Just having a bit of trouble with her hair."
"Is it usually like this?"
"We get through it."
Mapi's putting on a brave face but Ingrid can tell it's all fake. She's in tears. You're in tears.
You're both treating this like it's normal.
"New plan," She says," Leave her hair as it is. We're going to get her some things."
"For her hair? Ingrid, I have-"
"Mapi, I can tell you're trying hard but none of that stuff in your bathroom is suited to her hair."
"My Mama said-"
"Does your mum have straight hair?"
"Yes."
"Trust me, Mapi. Curly hair needs more looking after. Come on. Get her dressed and I'll show you."
Mapi wasn't quite convinced at first but upon seeing just how large the range of curly haired products was, she firmly shut up unless it was to translate Ingrid's words to the store attendant.
Together, they manage to fill the basket with things Mapi's never even seen before and suddenly she's sitting in her own living room again watching Ingrid wrangle you back into position on the floor.
Hair brushing is your least favourite time of the day combined with saying goodbye to Bagheera and being put down for bed.
Eventually though, with the promise of baking later on in the day, you sit nicely for Ingrid with some documentary about cats playing on the tv.
"Okay."
Ingrid pulls out a bottle of spray.
"Don't brush her hair if it's dry." Ingrid sprays liberally until your hair is suitably wet and is no longer big and bushy. "So we've got a wide-toothed comb which I think we should use for more everyday kind of brushing but we're going to use this-" She holds up the new detangling brush "-To get all the knots out."
Mapi watches attentively as Ingrid separates a chunk of your hair and starts at the bottom rather than the top.
It's a bit weird to you as Ingrid glides the brush through your hair. She doesn't tug or pull like usually happens so it's a bit strange for you.
Hair brushing has always been a very bad experience for you and Mami. There's usually a lot of tears and screaming and crying but it's still a lot better than when Abuela did your hair once.
She complained a lot when it happened and said mean things like your hair was 'untameable' and 'horrible to brush'. You think she meant it in a joking way because she and Abuelo were laughing and teasing each other but you can still remember the way she said that she might tell your Mami to 'cut it all off and start again'.
You know she was joking around and she wasn't actually going to tell Mami that but she still said it and you still remembered it.
She said that if you were any older than she would sit you in front of her and just straighten it all.
You love your mane though, even though it hurts to brush and it's bushy and big.
Mami loves your mane too, she's told you so lots of times. She says it's very beautiful and makes you look fierce like a real life lion.
You think Ingrid must love your hair too because she's being so gentle and so nice with it. Her hands are soft and the brush doesn't pull or snag much.
You like the feeling of her brushing your hair and your eyes droop a little.
It's almost as nice as getting back scratches.
Mapi sits in awe behind you as Ingrid massages some moisturising product into your now tamed hair.
"We could probably just put her hair up in braids to help protect it when she's going about her day," Ingrid says," It'll keep it nice and neat and no knots until we get home."
"You're good at this," Mapi says. She's still slightly in shock at how well Ingrid's doing with this all.
"I..." Ingrid's face turns red. "I did a lot of research. Her hair is so nice. I want her to love it."
Mapi laughs a little, looking down at where you're fast asleep, leaning back against Ingrid's legs.
"If you keep sending her to sleep every time you brush it then I'm sure she will."
#woso x reader#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Pros and Cons of Midnight Snacks (Part 3; final part)
Pairing: Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Civilian!Reader
Summary: Just minutes after discovering his secret identity, it’s time for you and Jason to clear the air about how the two of you actually met.
Word count: 3.4k
Your heart is racing a hundred miles a minute when you make it back to your apartment. And not just because of the five sets of stairs you have to walk up, although that's pretty bad.
You make sure that your roommate isn't home, then usher your cat out of your bedroom and open the window. You sit on the edge of your bed, nerves twisting in your stomach.
No, you can't stay still.
Also, your cat's scratching at the door, furious that he's been locked away.
You decide to wait in the living room instead.
His approach is soundless. You don’t hear him come through the window, or when he opens your bedroom door, but your cat meows happily and you turn around to see your six-foot-two lying boyfriend looming in your apartment.
“Is your roommate here?” he growls through the mask. Your cat yowls at his feet, wondering why Jason—the Red Hood—hasn’t begun to lavish him with attention yet.
“No, so you can take that off.”
You’re a little pleased with yourself for figuring out his identity so quickly. Unfortunately, you’re much less pleased with him for messing with you. You’re not mad that he didn’t tell you his vigilante identity; you’ve known each other about a month, which is nothing in the grand span of a lifetime. You’re not a pessimist, but you are realistic, and you’re not sure if your relationship is going to work out yet after a week and a half of dating. Any disgruntled ex-girlfriend could reveal his secret identity to the press—not that you’re that type of person.
No, it’s smart to be cautious with his identity.
So wearing a costume that displays one of his most unique features isn’t the brightest.
Also, now that you think about it, Jason wandered into the library the day after the Red Hood walked you home.
So you’re not exactly worried, but you are a bit cautious. You’ve seen that Netflix show You, where that perfectly charming man kills every woman he’s in a relationship with. If it came down to that, you wouldn’t be able to beat Jason in a fight.
Also, you don’t want to fight in front of the cat.
With a click and a hiss, the mask—more a muzzle—comes off, and there appears your handsome boyfriend, a little disheveled and sweaty from the five-story climb to your window after stowing his bike. He’s still beautiful, and it’s such a shame. He could have been the one, had he not stalked and lied to you.
You think.
You’re going to find out.
Jason’s eyes dart to your dominant hand, which is hidden behind your back with your trusty pepper spray ready to go at the slightest sign of aggression. “I take it I’m in trouble,” he says, light, almost joking, and bends to pick your cat up. The little bastard squirms every time you do that, but he settles right down in Jason's arms and gets to purring.
“Jason—” You start, then falter, because you don’t actually know his last name. Or his middle. “Jason,” you say again through gritted teeth, trying to make it as menacing as possible. “I think we have something to talk about, don’t you?”
“Y/N,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, I am the Red Hood. I couldn’t tell you bec—”
“I don’t give a shit that you’re the Red Hood,” you interrupt.
Jason’s mouth clicks shut. He gives you an odd look.
“Well, that you didn’t tell me,” you amend. “We’ve known each other a month. It would be pretty pathetic if you couldn’t keep the secret that long. Everyone in the city would know by now.”
“Okay,” he says slowly. “So what are you mad about, exactly?”
“That I was right!” You exclaim. “You were stalking me! I thought you just liked coffee and reading, but you were following me the whole time. You even offered to beat yourself up. What else about you is a lie?”
“Okay, whoa,” he says, holding his hand up, and if you weren’t mad before, you’re getting there now. He has no right for you to motion to calm down. “Okay, I’ll admit it. I guess I kind of did start this all out by following you.”
Your hands fall limply to your sides. Now that he’s admitted it, all the wind is out of your sails. You’ve never been so disappointed to be right. Secretly, you were hoping he would write it all off as a freak coincidence so thoroughly that you’d have no choice to believe it, all the way up until he strangled you. “Okay,” you say calmly. You hear your own voice, but it’s from very far away. “Are you going to hurt me now?”
“What?” He looks aghast at the very thought. “No, no, I won’t—why would I—No.” He’s so firm in the reply, so utterly certain, that your grip loosens on the pepper spray. He might be a really good liar… or he might be telling the truth. “No, Y/N, I really like you, which is why I asked you out, and even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t hurt you anyway because you’re my friend. And you’re a good person. The Red Hood punishes criminals; he’s not some crazy serial killer.”
“I mean, you kind of are,” you mumble. You’ve seen the statistics. He ruled through fear for several years. But, like he’d said earlier, he’s reformed himself. He still kills people, though, but you find that it doesn’t bother you as much as it should.
“I am not—” Jason stresses, looking you right in the eyes— “the kind of man that hits women.”
There’s a story there, in the way he says it, but it’s not the time to ask. You’re not sure that your fledging relationship is ready for it, either, but you’re still curious. You’re also curious about why he killed so many people when he started out. You’re curious about everything about him. You think you could listen to him talk for hours about himself and you still would only touch the surface of everything that makes up Jason.
“Okay,” you say. His eyes track your hand as you set the pepper spray down on the counter.
He repeats it like a question. You’re a little surprised, too, but— “Jason, I wouldn’t have agreed to be your girlfriend if I wasn’t sure that you’re a good person. But I need you to tell me about how we met.”
“You mean the robbery?” He looks confused. “That really was just a coincidence. I heard that something was going down and stopped by. I had no idea who you were before that night, I swear.”
“Okay. So why did you follow me to the library?”
“Oh.” Jason coughs. “Yeah. Okay, well, the first day, I actually was following you.”
You slap the counter with an open palm, triumphant. Your cat hisses at the sound. "I knew it!"
"Wait, wait, just hear me out. I was following you to make sure that you didn't die of blood loss. Or sepsis. Or gangrene. Or—"
"So you were stalking me... because you cared?"
"It's how my family shows love," he shrugs.
Your eyes widen. Because you hadn't considered it, but if he's a Bat—and he is, judging by the red shape on his chest—then his family is the Batclan. "Oh, my God. Batman is your dad."
Jason folds his arms over his chest like he's self-conscious about the symbol. "Yeah, and I've got the weird attachment style to show for it."
"Wait," you blurt out. "The brother you were supposed to meet in the coffee shop—were you supposed to meet Red Robin?"
"Um..."
You can't believe you were almost in the same place as the actual Red Robin. "Wow. Is his civilian identity as cool as his superhero one?"
"Please don't tell me you're a Red Robin fan," Jason says, his voice pained. "We might actually need to break up."
"Do you think I could meet him sometime?" you whisper.
"He's a huge loser," Jason tells you. "He's short and scrawny and actually pretty ugly beneath the mask. He looks like a troll. Also, I think he watches Andrew Tate videos and moderates Reddit forums in his free time. You really don't want to meet him."
You can't stop grinning. "There's no need to be jealous, Jason. Red Robin's way too young for me, but I think it's cool that he uses his brain to fight crime."
"What, and I don't?" he scoffs.
"Okay." You hold up a hand, determined to get the conversation back on track. "So you wanted to make sure that I wasn't actively dying. Why'd you keep coming back?"
"Well, then I thought you might be a supervillain," he said casually, like that's a normal thing to spring on someone.
You just gape at him.
"You treated a gunshot wound like it was nothing!" he defended himself shrilly. "Most civilians would be a little more concerned about an open wound in their side."
"I'm a medical student. Doctors make the worst patients."
"Yeah, well, Gotham has a pretty bad track record of doctors becoming supervillains, so excuse me for trying to curb a new one before she had the chance to turn."
You cross your arms. "What did you think would happen, Jason? I'd accidentally take a dip in Gotham River and the bacteria in there would travel from my side to my brain and make me go crazy?"
"I mean, yeah. That's pretty much exactly what happened with Harley Quinn."
Well, shit. He's got you there.
"Okay, well then why approach me at the coffee shop?"
Jason raises his eyebrow. "You were the only one there and I had a spare coffee. Am I not allowed to do nice things?"
"It was right after I told the Red Hood that I thought I was getting stalked. Did you do that on purpose?" you accuse.
"No, I swear. I didn't even know that you liked that place. Red Robin mentioned liking it.” Oh, my God, you and Red Robin like the same coffee shop. “I just… kept showing up after I saw you there the first time." He must be scratching your cat too hard, because he wiggles out of Jason's arms and runs over to his food bowl, looking at you pleadingly like he's been starving for a hundred years, even though your roommate texted you earlier saying that he'd already fed him. "I was planning on disappearing from your life and telling you as Hood that I'd, I don't know, threatened the dude or whatever, but..."
"But what?"
He shrugs. "You're pretty, Y/N. You're smart. And you were funny when I talked to you as Hood. Is it a crime for me to want to make a friend?"
"Just a friend?" You squint at him.
"Yeah. Just a friend." Jason tousles his hair again, and this time you let yourself admire the way the muscles of his shoulders and upper arms flex at the motion. "Believe it or not, I've never been in a relationship before. This wasn't what I was expecting—I never expected anything—but I'm happy. You're happy... aren't you?" He's pleading now, and it tugs on your heartstrings.
You sigh, but take a step closer to him. "Yes, I'm happy, Jason." It's definitely not the most conventional way to start a relationship, and most other people would be running for the hills by now, but this is Gotham. You moved here and stayed here because you fit in with the crazy. "I just need you to tell me one thing." Step. "One honest thing."
"Of course," he says immediately. Big green eyes pleading for you to bridge the gap between your bodies, to forgive him.
"What's your last name? I can't date someone whose last name I don't know."
For some reason, he grimaces. "Uh... my full name is Jason... Peter... Todd." His voice gets quieter with every word, until you're straining to hear his surname.
That rings familiar with something in your memory. You frown. "Jason Todd... not like Jason Todd Memorial Library?" Usually with memorials, the person they're named after is dead, but Jason's real and in front of you. Also, wasn't Jason Todd the kid that Bruce Wayne adopted several years ago?
The corners of Jason's lips turn down. "Yeah, I wasn't thrilled with your choice of study locations at first. But it is quieter than my apartment. B adopted too many fuckin' kids, and they always find my place, even when I move—"
"Does Red Robin hang out at your apartment a lot?" you ask, just to see him scowl.
"No, he's never there, and I'm going to dropkick him off a roof the next time I see him unless you stop talking about him."
"Okay," you say. You're close enough now to put a hand on his forearm, so you do. "I'll stop talking." You have to get on your tiptoes and pull the back of his head a bit, but you kiss him, and somehow it's even better than the first time.
Jason's lips are a little dry, but not chapped, soft and pillowy. He blinks when you rest back on your heels, looking dazed like someone hit him over the head with a frying pan. "Am I forgiven now?"
"Mmm..." You pretend to think it over. His hands snake around your back and pull you flush against him, stomach to stomach. "I think so," you say through a gasp, which might be embarrassing if he didn't bend to kiss you before the words had fully left your lips.
You kiss for a little while after that, shivering when his hands slip beneath your jacket. Not quite up your shirt, but getting there. He's got huge hands, and he grips your waist firmly, using his thumbs to gently rub at your hipbones as he pulls you even closer. That small contact, so gentle yet also a little greedy, heats your body from the inside like an inferno.
You're starting to bend backwards now, and the hand on the back of his neck is less there to pull him down and more there to keep you up. Are you lightheaded? You might be. You breathe in through your nose, but it doesn't help.
Jason may be inexperienced, according to his own testimony, but he doesn't kiss like it. He kisses with his whole body. He keeps leaning forward, moving his lips against yours with the single-minded intensity that took you by pleasant surprise the first time you kissed. Soft but firm, pressing against you, in a way that makes you think he'd really like to crowd you against a wall and cage you in. Not that you want to escape.
When you're bent over, you take Jason's chin in your hand and slowly push his head back. He resists at first, eyes fluttering as he chases after your lips, but you're about to fall over, so you murmur, "What's the plan here, babe?"
"No plan," he says, voice low and gravely in a way you've never heard before. Jason looks at you from beneath his long lashes. A heat flashes in his eyes. Something flutters in your stomach, bigger than butterflies. Maybe birds? Maybe robins.
And then you feel his hands on the bare skin of your back when they slip beneath the hem of your shirt. You gasp and jerk away on instinct because his hands are so warm, so calloused, but he's got a good grip on you; you're not falling anytime soon.
Then your entire world shifts as Jason yanks you upright, at the same time pulling the hem of your jacket and shirt up enough so he can see your wound.
"Oh, my God," you groan, embarrassed and a little amused. "You little pervert, were you doing all that to distract me?"
"No." Jason's voice is still gravely. He looks at your hip, then stares at your mouth like he's making a decision. He kisses you again, a firm press, and nips at your bottom lip before he leans back to squint at the scar. "Is it still bruised?"
"Yes," you sigh, covering your eyes. You're embarrassed for reasons you can't quite explain. Maybe because he's pulling your shirt up and you're not quite as firm everywhere as he is. You're pretty sure champion bodybuilders aren't as firm as he is. "It's gotten much better, though. See? No infections or anything like that."
He measures the scar against his hand: it's about two fingers wide, and one finger long. It scabbed over a while ago, and now that the scab's gone, it's just a shiny pink patch of skin.
"You could have stitched it anyway," he sighs.
"I don't care." You grab him by the chin and force him to meet your eyes. "I don't care about scars. Mine or yours. Most of the time, they're sexy. And apart from me, you're the only one seeing it." His hands clench your waist at the words, then loosen. He sends you an apologetic look. You continue, "So as long as you don't mind it, then nobody does."
"I wish it had never happened to you," he sighs.
"Well, it did. But it wasn't your fault and we can't change the past."
Jason's still mulling over your words when you start to work at his belt. He makes a choked noise and grabs your hands. Doesn't push them away, just holds them still right where they are. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I showed you mine." You grin up at him. "It's only fair that you show me yours."
He snorts. "You don't trust your own handiwork?"
"It's a follow-up appointment," you say. "To make sure everything's healing normally. Now take off your shirt, Mr. Todd. This veterinarian's apartment does, after all, moonlight as a strip club."
He undoes his belt buckle with one hand, and you have to make sure that your mouth isn't open. That was probably the hottest thing you've ever seen in your life. "You ready?" he grins, cocky in the way he only gets when he's flirting with you. "One look at me and you'll forget all about Red Robin. Forever."
"God, don't bring up your little brother while we're making out," you groan.
"Good to know that you plan on kissing me some more tonight," he says casually. Then he peels off the skintight gray shirt, and every thought wipes from your mind.
His muscles have muscles. And, somehow, despite your apartment's shitty lighting, he's glowing. His pants sit low on his hips like he's a model or something.
How has no one ever dated him before? He's actually perfect.
The longer you stare without saying anything, the more uncomfortable he looks. Finally he says, "I know I've got a lotta scars," his native Gotham accent bleeding through a little, but you stop him with a hand on his chest. He's warm and firm and soft, just like you thought he would be.
"My God," you whisper. "You're beautiful."
Jason goes beet red.
"And the one I stitched is healing up nicely," you continue, tracing your fingers lightly over the slightly raised line.
His whole body shudders. He swallows almost violently, eyes clenched tight like they're in pain. Then they fly open, and you gasp, because they're glowing green. Not metaphorically glowing. Like, actually glowing.
Jason kisses you again like he's trying to herd you. You don't know where's all right for you to touch, so you cup his face with both your hands and pour everything that he gives you right back at him. Warmth, affection, something bright that you can't name.
Then you lean back. Your lips disconnect with an audible pop.
"Hang on. Is Bruce Wayne Batman?"
Jason's chin drops down to his chest. He groans, deep, and you pretend that warmth doesn't pool in your stomach at the sound. Voice thready, he says, "You know, talking about my dad really kills the mood."
"Oh, my God, he is." You pump your fist in the air. "I'm two for two. Who's the world's greatest detective now, Batsy?"
"If I kiss you again, will you shut up about Batman?" Jason asks.
You grin. "I don't know. Maybe you'll have to find out."
He does.
And you do.
You've decided that the Red Hood is your favorite superhero, anyway.
~~
Forever taglist:
@lemirabitur @annymcervantes @queenmissfit @iksey @thehyperactiveteen @luxmoonlight @andreasworlsboring101
DC taglist:
@evalynanne @mismatchsposts
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Bathtime Headcanons
Just a few headcanons for sharing a bubble bath with the main characters. Enjoy!
Charlie:
oddly enough Charlie doesn’t partake in full baths as much as she favors showers.
She’s busy dealing with the hotel and along with ruling as the Princess of Hell so she much prefers a quick warm spray.
On the occasion, however, she finds herself tired enough that you might just be able to convince her to indulge with you.
You make a point of dredging up any kind of bubble bath, bath bomb, lotion, anything you can find to ensure that you can provide the best bubble bath possible.
Music plays softly over a small speaker, but it’s drowned out the hushed whispers of words of love as you meticulously wash and condition her hair.
Conditioning is your favorite step. Charlie didn’t need it often as her hair somehow stayed so silky, so every now and then when you got to run a soft brush through her hair, twisting it gently to pin atop her head.
She tries to wash you in return but you always push her hand away, insisting on pampering her after a hard day.
Usually ends with you drying her off and carrying her to bed when she inevitably passes out.
Vaggie:
Vaggie loves baths but she’s hard pressed to admit it. Nothing feels better on sore muscles than a nice soak, ideally with lavender. She loves lavender.
The two of you had been dating for about 6 months before she even entertained the idea of going to you with such a request.
She was too embarrassed to ask.
-in the end, how she broaches the subject is by surprising you one night when you return home. A few candles lined the edge of the bathtub that was filled nearly to the brim with bubbles.
”I just thought it would be nice, you’ve been gone all day” And you know better to react calmly should you risk spooking the flustered angel with the scarlet red face.
She’s the one that drags it out in the end. She’d wrap her arms just a little tighter around your waist and mutter about how the water would stay warm for just a little longer.
Vaggie gives sweet towel hugs.
Alastor:
Listen, Alastor takes pride in his hygiene. He takes the utmost care to keep himself and his dress in immaculate condition.
He’ll invest in facial creams, hair creams, body creams, oils, lotions, you name it and he’s used it.
But baths? No. Absolutely not.
You’ve only attempted to convince Alastor to take a bath with you and neither occasion ended particularly well. The radio demon wouldn’t speak to you for a week after the first failed attempt and had all but removed himself from your life with the second so you couldn’t say you were in any hurry for a third.
However, the two of you have come to a happy compromise. Whenever you found yourself in the mood to draw a bath you would sometimes find Alastor pulling a chair up next to the tub with a book tucked under his arm. So would begin a lovely tradition between the both of you.
More than once you’ve found yourself dozing to the soft static of the Alastor’s voice, and in response the demon would lightly tap his cane against the edge of the tub to rouse you.
Don’t fall asleep though, three strikes and he’ll leave you in the tub. No he doesn’t.
Husk:
Not. A. Fan. Considering his entire being consists of fur and feathers, Husk can and will do everything within his power to avoid bathing if he can. Look, it’s just not his idea of a fun night to sit down with a hairdryer and attempt to wring himself out as best he can.
Inevitably he’d miss a spot and end up with stale wet cat smell and no one likes that, especially not our resident grump.
He won’t make a fuss if you want to bathe with him though. What he will do is laugh while patting your shoulder. “I’ll wait for ya in the room”
The more comfortable he gets, however, you’ll start to see that eventually Husk begins to find reasons just to ‘wander’ into the bathroom with you. He misses you, you know it, but it’s still sweet to see him making the excuse of looking for his lucky pair of boxers.
”The water’s always warm darlin”
You better get the blow dryer ready, the only way you can convince him is if you’ll deal with it. You don’t mind though, the purrs are worth it
Angel Dust:
You and Angel take turns picking which bath bombs and bubble baths that you’ll throw into whichever potion you’ll be brewing up tonight.
Bathtime with Angel was always a favorite for you, you couldn’t think of anything better than getting to curl up with your cuddle bug in your arms. Although things never really stay that way for long.
It’s hard not to tease while washing each other. A slip of the hand here, just a little rough touch of loofah there, just a sweet little taste of what could be but the restraint comes easy in the relaxed atmosphere. Just in times like these Angel will be patient enough to wait until you can actually make it to the bed.
Angel won’t let you wash his hair. You don’t know why he’s so particular about it but if you interrupt his routine of products then his entire night is ruined so you choose the peaceful route and leave the man be. That doesn’t mean he won’t wash your hair for you if you ask though, those four hands of his do wonders at massaging the scalp.
Angel will 10/10 let you towel dry him every single time and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t use it as an opportunity to make a show at bending this way and that, making sure to get every inch of him.
He looks like a fluffy mess afterwards but hey, he’s your fluffy mess.
Requests open!!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor x reader#alastor headcanons#hazbin hotel headcanon#husk headcanons#husk x reader#angel dust headcanons#angel dust x reader#vaggie x reader
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midnights, 2 * mv1
you were in the middle of eating dinner alone when you got the feeling of getting punched in the gut
pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader
warnings: i specialise in angst and heartbreak so B)
notes: man i shouldve just written this when my breakup was fresh, because when i tell you my heart was BROKE… (i love oversharing)
(prev) // (next)
your eyes are glued to your phone in your hand, as the other works the chopsticks to grab yourself some noodles. the tv is switched on in the background for some background noise.
the deafening silence in your apartment has haunted you for the past weeks since the breakup. to battle it, the tv is always turned on in your presence to keep you grounded.
you’ve been on instagram scrolling for about 5 minutes when a strange sensation hits you in your stomach. your throat feels weird, and your arms slowly start to feel numb.
you put the chopsticks down onto the plate that sat peacefully on your coffee table. you take a deep breath and lay your phone down on the carpet, looking around the emptiness of your apartment.
it’s the sudden realisation that you almost didn’t have a place to stay after the breakup. you had sublet the apartment your sister when you moved into max’s, and since she got engaged to her boyfriend and bought their own place, you’ve thought about putting it back on the market.
good thing you hadn’t.
it’s the weird void you felt in your chest sitting here all by yourself. being alone has never felt so definite until now.
the silence that creeps up on you every waking moment you’re in here miserably haunts you. you miss the sounds of clicking from max’s driving simulator, or the random clangs of things when the cats were in a mood, and the mews that conveyed dissatisfaction from the food bowl being empty.
your apartment is barely a shell of the home you’ve gotten used to.
you come home to nothing every day. no cats with their affectionate head rubs against your feet, and absolutely no loving boyfriend at the door whose hands cup your cheeks while he greets you with a loving kiss to your lips.
“-max verstappen scores at least three points in the sprint on saturday evening in losail, he will be crowned 2023’s champion.”
the mention of the name makes you lift your head to the tv. there’s your ex-boyfriend in all his glory, spraying champagne and having fun.
being this hung up about the breakup feels almost illegal; like you had the least right out of everyone to be so heartbroken, seeing as you did initiate it.
your phone lights up, notifications from alexandra and kika flooding your lock screen. you admire their determination — you haven’t picked up their calls and responded to text messages in almost 4 days.
you sigh and turn your head, eyes landing on the framed picture of you with the cats. you miss them terribly, almost as much as you miss the man himself. but it’s way more complicated than just dropping by into your old home to visit the cats.
victoria has mentioned to you that it’s no problem if you do in the week, since max is away for a race. you just couldn’t handle the thought to even be in that apartment. you’d just miss him way too much, and you would fold immediately.
but the constant fights that occurred towards the end of your relationship keeps reminding you to stay away. it’s unfair to keep holding on when it hurts you both.
your eyes linger on the frame that’s faced down on your entertainment centre. you have the picture in it memorised: you and max in abu dhabi under the fireworks when he won his first championship.
it was when he had first said he loved you.
how did it dwindle down so quickly? you could have sworn max was everything you wanted in a person. how did his little quirks you once loved about him be the same thing that drew you away?
you glance at the tv screen, the reporter moving on to other news. you’re holding your own hands back from chucking the tv remote at it.
“oh, god,” you mutter to yourself. the tv screen blacks out when you press the button on the remote.
you rub your forehead in frustration, feeling a headache creeping up from the back of your head. it’s the result from crying right before dinner.
the doorbell stops you from grabbing the faced down picture frame to hug— a habit you’ve gotten used to when you and max were separated due to work.
you tilt your head, eyebrows furrowing as you scramble to your feet. you push yourself off the floor and basically drag yourself over without asking who it is.
though, there’s a slight hope sparking up in your chest. could it be?
you unlock the door quickly, a small smile still stretching on your face when you realise who it is. it’s alexandra and kika, plastic bags decorating their hands and arms as they smile sadly at you.
“you really didn’t have to,” you frown, stepping aside and gesturing for them to come in.
“we can’t leave you all by yourself,” alexandra smiles, making a sharp turn for the kitchen.
you follow behind the pair, plastic bags laid down on the table slowly. it’s only then you realise the overnight bags on their shoulders, now neatly piled by the couch.
kika pulls out a bottle from a plastic bag, presenting it to you from where she is with a grin. “i am hoping you like red.”
“if you don’t,” alexandra pauses, taking out another bottle from another, “we have white wine.” she puts it down onto the table, slowly taking out bags of chips and tubs of ice cream. “but if you don’t feel like drinking, we have junk food.”
“we can eat our body weight,” kika smiles at you.
you frown, tears welling in your eyes at their thoughtfulness. “thank you,” you manage to huff out as your tears start falling out of your eyes. “this means so much to me.”
asking max for a breakup was never part of the plan that night. you still don’t even know where it came from because you know that you still want to be with him.
but when his silence filled the tiny room, eyes barely being able to meet yours, you knew that you basically had your answer. you didn’t fight for it any more after seeing the lifeless eyes that once used to be so bright.
maybe he had been beating around the bush. maybe he couldn’t bring himself to be the one to ask you for a breakup.
maybe you asking for it brought him relief, freeing him from the shackles of your deteriorating relationship.
in the flight back home, you were afraid that no one could ever love you as much as max did. but here are your friends, coming over unannounced to take care of you, despite the fact that you’ve been ignoring them.
kika and alexandra engulf you in a hug, one hand patting your hair and the other rubbing circles on your back. “we’re always here for you.”
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#f1 x you#f1 x reader#formula 1 fic#f1 fic#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#disneyprincemuke#disneyprincemuke imagines#disneyprincemuke f1
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𐙚 ⋆₊˚ 2:53 ..ᐟ
Suna Rintaro affectionately and unironically calls his grumpy, cold (,and apparently bitchy) girlfriend "sunshine". Even when she's the most standoffish, difficult person you'd ever interact with. he wholeheartedly believes that she is a little bundle of joy, and talks about her like shes an absolute angel to whoever asks.
for instance.
"Theres my girl. shes a little ball of sunshine, isnt she?" rin would say, talking about his girlfriend to a friend of his, with a finger pointed to her by the distance. said girl looking like a feral cat trying to keep a civilized conversation with one of his fangirls.
"morning, sunshine." rin would mutter, approaching his girlfriends desk as the scowl that was etched on her face immediately faded into a soft smile, only ever directed at rin. as she comes up to him and tightly hugs his torso, she nuzzled her face on his neck and catches a smell of his uniforms collar. freshly sprayed cologne. it was that masculine smelling brand that he knew was her favorite on him. she got on her tip toes to kiss her boyfriend on the cheek as he smiled down at her, a big hand on her waist as he patted her head gently.
"hey sunshine" rin would greet, leaning his weight on his girlfriends locker beside his while kissing her head and slipping his hand on her waist, despite her crossed arms and the massive scowl on her features prior to when he approached. he could only assume that something or someone pissed her off...again. upon seeing the look on her face and her obvious frustration, he'd cradle her cheeks with his two big hands to guide her to look at him. and, with the softest voice ever, only for her, he'd coo, "bad day, sweetheart?" while kissing away the heavy scrunch on her brow and caressing her cheek. he could tell from the way she would visibly soften, that she's turned to putty on his hands, once again. he was the only person who could have such an effect on her. at her lack of resistance when it came to him, rin couldn't control the upper quirk of his lips as he smiled softly at her. but before he could bask in the joy of a happy girlfriend once more(happy girlfriend =happy life), said girlfriend furrowed her brows once again. with a red face, she pulled away from rin only to pull on his bicep to keep him close to her as she walked them onto the other side of the hallway, to the cafeteria. She would never admit it, but rin always knew how to calm her down and make her go all soft for him. Yeah, she could be a grump sometimes, but he liked that about her, despite his friends teasing him for his dynamic with his grumpy girlfriend, always commenting about the contrast in how she treats everyone else compared to how she treats him.
something about how he gets special treatment from 'the ice queen' just because he's her boyfriend. in fact, whenever rins friends would catch a girl confessing to him. they always barge in and invite themselves in the conversation only to comment how "you have ta be as cold as y/n to even catch sunarins interest".
later in practice, rin finds himself bringing up how "n/n isnt cold." with the most serious face ever. and with almost everyone strongly disagreeing, he would add, "she can be a grump sometimes, but she isnt an ice queen." i mean, he knew she wasnt exactly the nicest person alive, or the easiest to get along with, but saying she was an ice queen was a bit of a stretch. atleast to him. thats why when atsumu shudders and weakly shares his own encounters and past interactions with the girl, of how difficult it was to get along with her, rin could only scoff in disbelief. "how is she difficult to approach? that must be a you problem because she's literally a ray of sunshine." rin would defend, not catching the sudden dull and stiff tension in the air that enveloped the club room. glancing at his teammates, who all suddenly looked gravely pale, he turned to osamu, who only let out a low whistle as he turned his head to the side. "if y/n's a ray of sunshine, kitas the laziest person in this room." atsumu would speak for everyone, since no one had the guts to say a word, too afraid it would reach sunarins icy girlfriends ears. his statement followed up through by a series of "yup"s, "yeah"s, and overall agreements. rin raises a brow, genuinely confused.
#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu suna#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintaro headcanons#suna rintaro fluff#suna rintaro imagine#suna rintarō#suna rintaro x y/n#suna rintaro haikyuu#suna rintaro x you#rintaro suna x reader#rintaro suna#inarizaki x reader
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Duke Thomas meeting Ra's Al Ghul for the first time.
Duke: SATAN!
Ra's: What?
Duke: Damian, Jason get behind me!
Duke brought his fingers together like a cross.
Duke: Stand back, Satan prince of darkness!
Ra's: I'm not Satan and I'm certainly not a mere Prince!
Duke kicked Ra's in the shin causing the man to grunt in pain.
Duke (crossing his arms): That's for Jason, asshole.
Ra's fell to the ground, groaning in pain.
Duke: Uh huh, that's what the magic goop does to you when you keep swimming in it! I've been wanting to do that for a while, come on y'all.
Duke stepped over the crazy man, Jason and Damian follow. Jason tried to hold his laughter.
Damian (quickly to his grandfather): Sorry grandpa, but you had it coming.
---------------------------------------
Duke: Stay away from him.
Duke sprayed Ra's Al Ghul with a spray bottle filled with water.
Duke: Damian don't want you near him.
Ra's: I'm not a cat and he's my grandson!
Duke (spraying the man): Unfortunately y'all are related, but he don't want you near him if you can't keep your promise about no ninjas.
Duke lowered the spray bottle as Ra's s took a step back.
Damian (keep a safe distance): Thanks Duke.
Duke: No problem.
He sprayed Ra's more times when the man tried to attack him.
Duke: Stay back!
Ra's: I don't care for you.
Ra's stormed off, grumbling. Damian grabbed the spray bottle confused.
Duke: It's regular water, but I pretend it's holy water.
Damian (impressed): Huh... Smart.
#batfamily#batfamily chronicles#batman#batfamily shenanigans#ra's al ghul#duke thomas#he ain't the one#batfamily headcanons#batbros#damian wayne#duke thomas will protect his family#dc the signal#dc signal#signal dc#this isnt to say duke is normal#jason todd#microfiction#script fic#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#headcanon batfamily#batfamily microseries#batfamily fanfiction#part of my batfamily flash fiction#batfamily fic#batfamily funny#batfamily fluff#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction#batfamily flash fiction
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One More Earth Animal
Since the only reason our spaceship had a cat was because I’d rescued a family of them from people who had no business keeping any animal, and since a couple of crewmates had helped in that rescue, and everyone was agreed that it was a deed well done, I was very interested when I heard that our newest courier job was transporting another rescued cat.
I was loading supplies on the far end of the ship when I got a message from the captain about this last-minute addition. I was the animal expert — from the same planet as our new cargo, no less — and she requested my presence. The extra info that the cat had been dumped on a colony world by illegal traders who hadn’t been able to sell it just made me hurry through the hallways faster.
As I entered the cargo bay, my thoughts were on whether I should have detoured to grab a medical scanner, and wondering if Telly would want to be friends with the furball in the cage. Where was that cage? Ah, over by the door next to the captain and the customer. Other crewmates were loading boxes while they talked.
“I’m glad you’re going in the right direction,” the customer said while she signed the payment tablet with several red tentacles, while waving two more for emphasis. “This isn’t the first time somebody’s dumped live cargo, and at least this time I know a guy from the right planet who’s eager for a new pet. Sounds like he misses Earth, and would be happy to have anything that reminds him of home. Oh hey, speaking of which!” She waved a tentacle at me as I walked up. “Another Earthling. Good luck all around.”
Captain Sunlight nodded and took the payment tablet back, every inch the dignified lizard alien. “Yes, Robin here has been a big help with animal cargos, cats in particular.”
“My pleasure,” I said with a wave. “Can I get a look?” The cage was the kind with bars on the front and only ventilation holes on the sides; good for animals that needed to feel safely hidden, but not great for trained veterinarians wanting to inspect them without opening the door.
“By all means,” the customer said, scooting the cage forward. “It’s been very calm. It shouldn’t give you any trouble.”
I crouched down from my tall human height and peered into the shadows, hoping the cat was healthy, not calm because of illness. Had they scanned it already? They must have.
A skunk peered back at me.
“Oh jeez!” I fell back and scrambled away, startling everyone in the room. “That’s not a cat! Keep your distance!”
Captain Sunlight immediately stepped away, alarm on her scaly face. “What is it? What’s the danger?” The customer was babbling in surprise, but I ignored her.
“That’s a skunk,” I said, fully aware that the name probably meant nothing here. “They’re a breathing hazard when provoked. They spray a toxic liquid that will ruin the air on our whole ship until it’s properly cleaned. You’re lucky it didn’t do it already.” I aimed that last at the customer.
She flailed her tentacles in distress. “It’s been very calm! Not afraid of anyone! Are you sure it’s not a cat?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. Then something else occurred to me. “Have you scanned it for disease?”
The tentacle movements turned guilty. “My assistant said he did…”
I leapt to my feet and raced down the hall. “Be right back! Don’t touch it!”
They replied, but I was already out of earshot, dodging past crewmates without stopping to explain. Rabies was largely eradicated on Earth, but this wasn’t Earth. And a potentially rabid skunk was infinitely worse than a tame one.
Eggskin was in the medbay; I didn’t pause to see what they were doing. I just grabbed the hand scanner from its spot on the wall and raced back the way I’d come. “Need this, thanks!”
Questions followed me, but I ran faster. Almost plowed into Blip going around a corner, but I ducked under her muscular elbow with an apology and kept going. Blop was right behind her, stepping to the side. The pair also had questions that I ignored.
Back in the cargo bay, Captain Sunlight was questioning the customer on the far side of the room, with Zhee and Paint also standing back. The cage was right where I’d left it.
I activated the scanner, getting as close as I dared. “Please don’t have rabies. Please please please.”
After a moment, the scanner pinged: Free Of Disease. Relief hit me like a wave. “It’s not contagious,” I announced.
The scanner was still processing, and it came up with extra information that made me laugh in deeper relief.
“Its stink gland was removed!” I collapsed onto the floor in front of the cage. “Doubly safe. Everything’s okay.”
Captain Sunlight said, “That is good news.”
The customer pressed several tentacles over where her heart probably was. “I didn’t need that kind of scare today! Clearly I should have words with the assistant who identified the species.”
“They got the planet right, at least,” I said, shutting off the scanner. “But yeah, if there’s a chance there are more skunks wandering around out there, you do NOT want to assume they’ll act like cats.”
Captain Sunlight was thinking ahead. “Will this be a problem for the recipient? Since it’s not the animal he’s expecting?”
The customer spread her tentacles. “He did say that he’d welcome any creature from home that could handle living indoors!”
I waggled my fingers experimentally, and the skunk waddled forward to sniff them. “I think it’ll be okay.”
Captain Sunlight asked, “This is an acceptable companion animal, once the gland is removed?”
I laughed. “No, they make terrible pets. But people have kept worse. I’ll have a talk with the guy on delivery, and I think it’ll be fine. This little fluffer has probably been raised by hand. And skunks really are adorable, once you get past that whole spraying issue.”
“Good to know,” said Captain Sunlight. She finished the transaction with the customer, who was more than happy to leave the skunk in our possession. Zhee and Paint expressed their own relief and finished moving boxes around. The captain volunteered to put the scanner back while I brought the animal cargo to our quietest storage hold.
I carried the cage very carefully, the polar opposite of my wild dash through the corridors earlier.
It took a while for Eggskin to find me, since apparently Blop had gotten a papercut or something that needed tending to, but after a few minutes the medic entered the storage bay with all the caution of someone approaching a dangerous creature.
Eggskin probably wasn’t expecting to find me holding it and cooing sweet nonsense while it chittered happily in my lap. But it really was friendly, and like I said, skunks are adorable.
~~~
These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.
Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.
The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).
#my writing#The Token Human#humans are weird#haso#hfy#eiad#humans are space orcs#skunks#in spaaace#always an exciting concept
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CAT SCRATCH.
— nothing but a flesh wound.
summary : you're stitching up your best friend. just for continuity sakes', i'll repeat that you're best friends.
note : part three in the "cats and dogs" series that no one asked for but everyone seems to be enjoyîg !!! really trying to keep with the animal theme 😭😭
this wasn't the first time jason had sat before you, shirt and jacket and guns discarded to the side. but, god, it's not what you think!
his torso was bare, but battered up, and you could care less about the view; today, you were playing doctor, preparing to perform surgery (put a plaster) on some very fatal wounds (a few bleeding cuts).
"you're really stupid, you know that?" you scoffed at him as you rummaged around on the sterile metal tray beside you for the correct equipment. "like, really, there was no need for you to run in the way of gunfire."
from further above, from his perch upon the medical bed in the batcave's infirmary, jason shook his head, sighing. "there was a cat in the road." he spoke as if it were a passage of the bible — thou shalt not allow the death of a felin upon thy hands.
dousing a cotton ball in antiseptic fluid, you gave an obvious roll of your eyes. "so you decided to risk you life?" tucking your swivel chair further between jason's legs, you gave a sigh, this time more playful, a smile upon your lips. "what am i going to do with you?" and you caught his eye, your smile contageous.
"probably what you always do," jason chirped back, looking down at you in a way that helped him ignore the throb of shrapnel embedded in his skin. he'd only been nicked a few times, luckily.
"and what's that?" you hummed in return, leaning into his torso to dab at a raging entry wound just missing his abdomen. his skin tensed beneath your touch, but he willed himself to relax. it was you, after all. you could never hurt him, even if you shoved him to the ground and kicked dirt in his eyes.
one of his hands absently came up to your ear, rough fingertips carefully tracing the soft skin of the shell. casual intimacy wasn't unheard of between you, so much so that you were constantly accused of dating, being so bad at hiding it this whole time that it was a miracle neither of you had been sent to jail for lying so poorly to a police officer at least once; that you both have done many-a-times.
the words brushed past his cracked lips like a prayer, but their effect on you was unobvious.
"forgive me."
and, that, you always did.
regardless of how true it was or wasn't, you sent him a glare that failed to meet your lips — a smile upon them, instead — as you moved further up to disinfect a wound just beneath one of his pecs, which were already scarred up and burned.
a comfortable silence consumed the air between you, with your attention focused on picking up the blood from his wound with a clean cotton bud, and his on the shape of your head from this angle.
you'd patched him up many times now, it was like second nature, but with the way your hand lingered on the cold skin of his bare waist to ensure precision, jason could begin to feel himself heat up.
but his temperature regulated again as soon as you pulled away, tossing the last dirty bud in the bin by your feet.
you sprayed your hands with antiseptic once again as you pulled away from his form, wheels of your chair squirming against the ground.
"okay," you quietly began, ripping open a clean pair of tweezers. "i'm going to start taking out the shrapnel. are you okay with that?"
from his perch, jason let out a chuckle, eyes twinkling down at you when you glanced over at him.
"what's so funny?"
jason's half-crescent eyes watched you as you slid back closer to him. "it's just that you say that every time," he laughed, one of those genuine smiles growing on his face; only a smile you saw, and if anyone else ever saw it, it was only ever directed at you. "even though the answer is always yes."
despite thumping a little in your chest, you gave a dismissive shake of your head, smile ever-present around him. "i don't see what's funny about that. consent isn't a laughing matter."
your elbow brushed against the tactical material on the top of his thigh as you positioned yourself to reach that lower entry wound, and jason brought his hand up to place carefully upon the side of your head.
normal friend interactions.
"not saying it is," he breathed, just so below his breath, which brushed against your forehead. "i just like that you care enough to ask." fingers circled careful patterns against your scalp, and your not too sure how you managed to maintain concentration. "if it was alfred, or bruce, or dick, they'd just go for it, because they know i'm okay with it. and i know you know i am, too, but you care enough to ask."
the metal tips of the tweezer latched on to a chunk of shattered bullet, and you carefully inched it out of jason's skin, the area around the entry beginning to calm to a pink as opposed to the previous red.
you leaned back to plop it in the container you'd laid out on the tray, and glanced up at him, his hand retracting from your head and laying upon his lap.
"you're my best friend, jason," you stated, although you couldn't hide the vulnerability in your tone fast enough. "when i'm with you, you're my priority, whether you've been stupid enough to purposely get shot, or not."
and you wheeled yourself back in between his legs, ready to dive in to retrieve another bullet from his skin.
#aangelinakii#dc#dc comics#dc imagines#dc reactions#dc headcanons#dc universe#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd reactions#jason todd fluff#jason todd imagines#jason todd headcanons#red hold#red hood x reader#cats and dogs jason todd#cats and dogs aangelinakii
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