#Kazuha is supposed to die

[honeykaes]

Reminder no age indicator and you interact with me, I will block you

And secondly, not all of my stories will have happy ends and that’s okay. My Kazuha fic, I intended it NOT to be a happy end. I wanted you to feel the anigush and angst that comes with it, that what angst is suppose to do.

Please don’t expect angst to be hurt/comfort because it isn’t.

And please stop asking for a part 2 for this. It’s not from lack of ideas, it’s from I ended it how I wanted it to end. And no I do not give permission for anyone to use AI to make their “part 2” for this.

[shanieveh]

dangerously yours !

— genshin men as the villain, you're the hero and throw some love in the mix

sacrifices the world to save you— ALHAITHAM, scaramouche, diluc, THOMA, childe, chongyun

He knew you planned to sacrifice yourself. He saw it coming. And he was ready to prevent every bit of it. He loved you. Once from afar, once from a different identity, a falsehood, a lie. He did all of that to see you, to know you and he fell. Hard.

You were a saint, the embodiment of good morality. A hope for the future. The opposite of him. And as you brace yourself for the moment your soul leaves for a new world, all for his arms to be wrapped in your body. You open your eyes and found a new world, the sound of bombs from where you once were. But that didn't matter. Not when his eyes sparkle more than crystals.

let's you defeat them— kaveh, VENTI, arataki itto, AYATO, albedo, xingqiu, cyno, aether, zhongli, tartaglia, heizou

As your blade came so close to slashing his neck you were finally hailed as a hero. A champion, a winner. But that void in your heart, a trophy can't fill that piece of your heart. He told you it was okay, as both of you staged a fight. Now he was tortured, punished for his crimes. He made you defeat him so you'll be once again called a hero.

You visit him almost everyday, always with an anonymous identity. He still smiled even with his tortured frame, one from lashes, some from his couple inmates. How can he sacrifice all his of career for you? It was easy really. No amount of punishment could exceed your cries, and that beautiful pained face he can't bear to see.

you join the darkside— kaeya, AYATO, albedo, pantalone, scaramouche, pierro, dainsleif, tartaglia

He lured you right to his trap. It all started when you met him, it was like Eve drawing closer to the sneaky snake. But just like it, your first meeting was destiny. Your family always wanted you to be a kind loving child. And you grew up as one. But as you learned more about the other side, you realized how wrong the "morally right" actually is.

It started off with a petty theft, to some injuries and then violence. With him at your side, it felt like pure adrenaline rushed to your veins. He taught you reality, away from the fairy tale built by the stupid legends of heroes. He made you feel that pain and hatred all came from love. You made him feel that loving was never enough to show just how much he adores you. Bang.

he becomes good— scaramouche, THOMA kazuha, VENTI, kaveh, tighnari, zhongli, bennett, xiao

He was never really evil. He was hurt. And when you feel him, and touch and be with him you learn how he actually is. How he was supposed to be. He used his power to see you often, maybe battle with you, but with the many chances to defeat you he chose not to. The many chances to destroy your plans, he left.

On quiet nights, away from the prying eyes and evil plans. There lies both of you, one asleep, one awake. He looks at the person lying on the grass and stares at the peaceful sky and saw no difference. You were the shooting star. His wish. He can't be evil, and he never was. And just for you, he never will. He can't stand to lose you, and he would give everything he built for that.

BONUS: he sacrifices himself— thoma, KAZUHA, alhaitham, childe, albedo, diluc, KAEYA

No... it can't be. He cant die like that. Not for you. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. Pleas of you wanting to wake him up. He was supposed to be a foe. But how he loved you so. He made you feel like you had a purpose, that you were more than just a weapon of justice. He made you feel alive and in doing so it killed him.

The war was over. But was it worth it? It wasn't. Killing him, destroyed you, tore you to pieces. He planned all of this. He knew he was... and in the palm of his hand lie the letter. A plan? A story? No.. it only stated three words you were so scared told him. A feeling you now regret.

"I love you."

[actiniumwrites]

love amidst loss

synopsis: in the height of the moment, you nearly die and they can’t deal with the thought of losing you

characters: baizhu, scaramouche, kazuha, and cyno x gn!reader (separately)

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, near death accidents, not proofread (sorry)

notes: uh so i wrote this a while ago and didn’t finish it up until recently, so sorry of this contains some errors or if any of the game lore has changed or been updated and doesn’t match what i wrote :) lyney was also supposed to be in this but i gave up on his part…sorry 😭

Baizhu:

“Qiqi. Bandages, now!” Baizhu yells desperately. Your heart rate was lowering by the second, while his was rising exponentially.

Qiqi slowly passes the small bin of various bandages to the doctor, “Yes, Dr. Baizhu.”

He can feel his hands shaking, tremoring as they work as fast as they can to close up all your wounds. Even throughout all his strange adventures and experiments attempting to achieve immortality, he’s never felt more afraid and anxious than in this moment. He could care less about hurting himself, but you? You meant the world to him.

“Baizhu…?” your eyes flutter open weakly while your elbows move behind you to sit up. A speedy hand pushes you back down in an instant.

“No, don’t,” Baizhu says, his heart beating out of his chest at the sight of your consciousness, “you shouldn’t be awake right now. I haven’t finished operating.”

Your hands feel fragile and your breathing is weak, but somehow you’re able to reach into your pocket and pull out a small bottle. It’s halfway full and a gentle lavender in color. It’s the concoction he had given you a while ago, in case of emergencies — an elixir of sorts.

“What about this?” you drop it into his hands. He shivers against your touch. What if this is the last time he’ll get to feel it?

Baizhu adjusts his glasses, analyzing the bottle in this hand, “Is this…? You still have this?”

You nod gently, careful not to move too much, “I saved what was left of it. I know you said you couldn’t make anymore, so I used it sparingly. Is it enough?”

Baizhu quickly prepares a bowl and some other ingredients to mix it with, “Yes, of course. I’ll make it worth a thousand lives over, I promise.”

A tender smile pulls at your lips while life beats back into your heart. Baizhu sighs of relief, resting his elbow against the edge of your bed with his pinky outstretched, “Please don’t scare me like that again.”

Your pinky wraps weakly around his, “Promise.”

Scaramouche:

“What’s going to happen to them?” Scaramouche presses, leaning by the side of the bed Nahida had prepared for you.

Eagerly, he places his hand in yours with a tight so grip you’d think he was scared. And he is. Scaramouche is terrified out of his mind. “You idiot,” he mumbles against your hand, “why would you jump into danger for me?”

Your eyes are shut tightly and your skin is so cold. He hates the way it feels like he’s going to lose you at any second, despite Nahida reassuring him countless times he wouldn’t. He still has so much love to give you. And god, what if he never gets to admit that to you? To finally say that he loves you out loud?

His eyebrows furrow and his lips fall into a sad frown. Amidst it all, a weak tone that he can’t be bothered to disguise falls from his mouth, “Please just tell me they’ll be okay?”

Nahida fights the urge to smile as she stands by the doorway of the room, ready to leave and give you both space. She nods firmly, “I promise you they’ll be okay. You have nothing to worry about.”

He nods back silently, loosening his grip a bit on your hand but not quite letting you go. And as soon as the archon slips away from the room, a small and vulnerable, “I love you,” falls from his lips.

And he swears he feels your hand grip his back a little tighter when he does.

Kazuha:

“Man, I drank wayyyy too much,” Kazuha slurs his words as he eyes begin to droop shut. You push his shoulder lightly to keep him conscious, a small laugh echoes amidst the waves of the ocean.

You feel it too — the buzz of the alcohol. The entire crew of the Alcor had been celebrating all night with big lights, tons of food, and an endless supply of drinks. Kazuha and you had already had more than enough, and it wasn’t until Beidou forced you guys to sit out for awhile that you realized just how much you had drank.

As you both sit on the edge of the boat with your legs dangling over the edge, Kazuha nudges you back. Only, it’s a little too forceful and you aren’t sober enough to stop yourself from sliding off. Desperately you reach for the wooden rails, but it isn’t enough to save you as you fall into the icy water below with a terrifying scream.

The water thrashes around you as you so eagerly attempt to stay afloat despite your lack of swimming skills. “Kazuha!” you scream before the water enters your mouth and begins to send you under.

In an instant he dives in, both of you now sobered up and well aware of the fact that a moment of fun had just turned darkly serious. All he can think about his how stupid he was for forgetting you can’t swim that well and that he shouldn’t have pushed you, even if it was a joke.

Kazuha finds you quickly and pulls you up fast. By the time he does, the rest of the crew joins around and helps you both back up and onto the boat.

His heart pounds a million miles per second as he watches you painfully cough out a bunch of water. Your skin is freezing to the touch and there are even a few small tears in your eyes.

“Hey,” Kazuha moves to hold your hand tightly, not only to comfort you, but also himself, “you’re okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

You only nod and lean back against the wood of the boat. He joins you quickly and you take it as a sign to rest your head against him. Gentle, but deep breathes leave his chest periodically and he can’t help but feel shaky all over. Kazuha had lost so many people in his life, and he’d have no idea what to do with himself if he lost you too.

“You won’t,” you whisper against his chest.

“Huh? Did I say that out loud?” Kazuha’s bright red eyes widen as they turn towards your resting figure.

You smile gently, “No, but I know what you’re thinking. You won’t lose me. I won’t let you.”

Kazuha hums contently to himself. He wouldn’t let himself lose you either.

Cyno:

“Is it just me or does something seem off?” you pause quickly, halting your footsteps at the slightest rumble of the complex structure you and Cyno had wandered into. You draw your sword quickly while Cyno swings his polearm from around his back.

His garnet eyes dart around the various hallways and statues, scowling as he comes to a realization, “It must’ve been those eremites we ran into earlier. I should have known they weren’t just ‘camping out.’”

Neither of you move as the structure continues to shake. Panicked, your arm grabs onto his as your eyes widen, “What do we do? If we don’t get out of here in time, this whole thing is gonna collapse!”

“Calm down!” Cyno shouts over the crashing sounds of rocks and statues slamming against the floor, “I’ll get us out of here!”

Within seconds later, a giant head of a statue falls from above and crashes just feet away. It happens so fast you lose your balance, feet stumbling as your arm slams against the wall. Suddenly, the panel you’re standing on slides away and sends you flying downward.

“No!” Cyno yells desperately, grabbing your arm just in time before you can fall hundreds of feet to your death.

Your hand barely holds on as you gasp, “I can’t hold on, Cyno! I’m sorry. Oh god, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to touch anything.”

His eyes widen in fear as you continue to speak. It’s the most scared you’ve ever seen him, but he can’t let you die. Not yet. “Don’t let go, please!” His arms hurt as he struggles to hold on, just barely keeping his balance against the sand covered floor, “I’m not going to let you fall.”

“I’m sorry,” you continue to apologize, eyes welling with panicked tears. Despite it sounding like a confession before death, you continue to hold on as best you can.

As if the dendro archon could hear both your pleas, the shaking stops suddenly. Cyno’s head shoots up and his arm grips your hand even tighter. With all the strength he can possibly muster, he pulls you up to safety.

Unable to comprehend what just happened, you quietly sob and fall against his chest. Cyno doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you as tightly as possible. Afraid that if he didn’t, you’d fall again and he’d lose you for good.

“Are you…are you alright?” He mumbles against the crook of your neck.

You nod silently in response, “I’m okay.”

[bluexiao]

#second lead syndrome… or is it really?

–when they couldn’t confess their love for you, thinking you love someone else / seeing you with someone, looking in love, how would they react?

CHARACTERS. Albedo, Al-Haitham, Ayato, Cyno, Heizou, Kazuha, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer / Scaramouche, Xiao, Zhongli; gn! Reader

THEMES. Some angst, some crack, and some fluff, (pick your fighter); non-established relationship (yall are not together, just friends)

NOTES. first ever multi hc for this year! yayy happy new year everyone~

ZHONGLI knew he was a god, and you weren’t. And even still, a part of him dreaded—desired you in a way that he never thought he would in a human. You were supposed to be one of his people.

But now he loves you more than that. And there only lies the question if you love him too.

Yet despite the dread to hold you in his arms and to proclaim of such mortal feelings he had attained for you, he holds back and forces himself to watch from afar. For a god like him has no reason to meddle with the fate of humans like you—no matter how he claims to be a mortal himself with the name he bears now.

And so, all he could do was watch you from afar, eyes fixed as if he was watching a theatre play unfoldon a stage that he chose to be an audience to, whereas the main lovers fall for each other, and all he could do was watch.

But then your eyes suddenly met, your smile like the sun that scorched his being, a gentle wave with your haand as you cal his name; “Zhongli! Can you come over here, will you?” It wasn’t even his real name, merely an identity he had chosen to keep as a result of wanting to live a mortal life.

A mortal life.

Maybe he should try living more with that—with you, he hopes.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

XIAO has no use for love. Such a measly thing it is—to devote oneself to another with just mere feelings and empty words of promises.

And so Xiao stands on the top of the inn, looking down, his spear nowhere to be found, arms folded over his chest, and gaze directly focused–your way.

You were talking and laughing at a certain human, looking ever so comfortable as you usually do with him–or maybe you were always like this to others, and that includes him.

Then, as if you had sensed his presence, you looked up to where he was, but he was far gone, disappearing as if he was never there. If he had only stayed and seen the frown on your face, he wouldn’t have had to waste his time hiding away from you.

Xiao, he soon realizes, does have a use for love, as this ache inside his chest is something he cannot quell just by merely equipping his spear and defeating monsters.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

WANDERER was never such a patient man. And besides, he isn’t even human.

It took a while to accept his… circumstances, and once he does, he will be very obvious with his so-called “feelings”, usually sticking to your side most of the time and glaring at practically anyone who would so much as dare to glance your way.

And as much as he is always near you, he will eventually notice whoever you will pay attention to–especially ones that would be constantly haggling over your sight. But he doesn’t do anything about it–doesn’t confess, doesn’t try to talk and ask to confirm his suspicions. Does he need to? No. He does not need affirmations because he is perfect enough to not need one–a perfect being who did not need such things as “love”, or “partner”s.

The words will die down in his mind when he sees you with someone else, however, form already right beside you as he finds himself glaring at whoever it was, “Oh realy? I can do that ten times better than you can,” he’d bark, already mocking at everything that the person does or claims themselves to be. Don’t misunderstand the Wanderer, he just thinks that this stranger is just too useless, you don’t need to waste your time over them.

‘But they’re human, unlike you,’ a voice inside his mind would say, but bites his lips, not letting that slip through his mouth.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

VENTI sings praises and is full of love. He is the god of freedom and the wind. He is a bard for goodness’ sake.

“I am but a simple bard, how in Teyvat would they even see a person such as I am worthy of them?” he cried theatrically as he took a chug of his wine–or whatever it was in the bottle in his hand. But no matter how much he looks, the weight in his heart was very much real nonetheless, the memory of you with someone else plaguing his mind.

A god such as him losing to a mortal over your love. What could anyone possibly say if they hear of such a tale? Perhaps he may just end up writing a song of his broken heart to somehow ease the pain. At least thatw ay, he could Mora…

But one must never underestimate a god’s love… as eh might find himself crawling back to your arms tomorrow morning.

He has a lifetime to win your heart, after all.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

TIGHNARI felt his feelings of care for you were normal. Of course, maybe he only favors you among the rest, even against his fellow rangers.

And something so normal is not supposed to bother him even in times when he’s supposed to be focusing. The forest is an unpredictable and dangerous place.

“What seems to be bothering you, Master?”

He halts from his tracks and turns to the other, “It’s nothing, Collei.”

But it’s not really “nothing” if he ends up walking away after reprimanding you and one of the other rangers for “lazing around”. And yes, that same one who had been lurking around near you lately, especialy when he’s not around.

Clearly, there must be something going on between that person and you. Of course, he could not possibly let anyone be so lax with this work, even if it’s you.

“You’re probably jealous, aren't you, Master? Aren’t you and Y/n dating?”

Colei can see and atone to how the other freezes—his tail and ears as well, and all he could do was watch as Collei giggles at him while nudging him with her elbows.

“Master and Y/n look very good together, and don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret if that’s what you want!”

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

For once, KAZUHA was out of words.

Peace can be associated with silence, but silence is not always at peace–and now, the wind was completely silent.

“Not going to Y/n, kid?” Beidou stands next to him with crossed arms as they both have eyes focused your way. She sighs while she shakes her head, “Are you letting them go that easily?”

He feels his stomach drop, but the ghost of a smile on his lips masks the feelings he has inside. “They don’t belong to anyone but themselves, and that includes me,” he looks away and turns around, the breeze slapping his face just as much as reality does, “they are free to love, even if it will not be me.”

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

HEIZOU knows everything.

But this one he just found out is probably one of the things he just wished he didn’t find out.

Well, technically, it was a good thing!, he says to himself. After all… he always teased you and now, he probably did the right thing instead of… telling the truth.

Ah, by all means, he is no hypocrite. But, he does wonder when you had liked another person, and why? Surely, he had made himself known to you, with your daily meetups and banters, and you were even his “partner” in a case once. Perhaps he relied in his ability far too much that he forgot purpose for all of his efforts.

The least he could do was to support you in the sidelines… right? Surely he doesn’t like you that much to remain helpless in this situation.

When he saw you with that person the next day, he knew his resolve was far gone.

He must definitely find out what made you fall in love with this person…

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

CYNO does not know what he was going to do. And so, what does he do?

He hides in the corner and observes.

Of course, he can just walk right past both you and the person who you’ve been eating lunch with for the past hour, but for some reason, he can’t. Something about the scene right in front of him makes him want to interrogate the person; what their job was, who their family are, what other things they do—they cannot possibly hang with you if they have a bad record. All the more, what if they have bad intentions towards you?

And so, with his mind made up, that was what he does. At least, intends to do until you saw him and he met your eyes.

“Cyno! There you are, I’ve been waiting for you!” Once you had caled him oevr, the person scrambles up an excuse and runs away as soon as they can, even stumbling over a few times.

All Cyno could do was watch as the perosn runs away and sighs, sitting right beside you and crosses his arms.

“Who was that? What do they do? Are they from the Akademiya? I haven’t seen them before.”

“Oh, I don’t know, they just came here and sat in front of me.”

He is definitely hunting down that person until his questions are diminished.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

What AYATO wants, Ayato gets.

Of course, that does not mean that he treats everything or everyone lightly, on the contrary, he does what he can to attain anything or anyone that he sees as valuable. With someone of his caliber, it would not be too difficult to get people to turn his way.

You, however, was someone who piqued his interest. Yet despite this, he lets you be, not doing anything… until he had seen you with someone else—a retainer of another Commissioner.

He reasons with himself that he only stepped beside you and piped in to the conversation out of being wary towards the other retainer—eh coudl not possibly have you, his friend, to be too exposed with the works of the Tri-Commision now, right?—and with his position and words, the retainer soon walks away.

“Now that they are gone, what do you say about having tea with me this afternoon, Y/n? Unless you have a scheduled date with that… retainer.” He tries to mask his disbelief, and thankfuly, you didn’t notice.

He ignores how you looked away, seemingly flustered for a moment as you mumble a small “Sure… and we’re not dating, master Ayato… it’s not like that.”

He looks away with a smile. Certainly, this is far better.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

ALHAITHAM is rational. Most of the time.

“O-Of course, The Scribe must be very knowledgeable, compared to a lowly person like me,” says the other person that Al-Haitham did not really catch the name of right after he just questioned the person’s intelligence (very subtly at that).

“Oh come on, you’re not lowly-“

“This is why it is important to raise our knowledge, even to the little things, as we do not know what we might encounter. If you want, I can even refer you to the Akademiya, you don’t need to thank me.”

“I-I’ll think about it… thank… I mean, see you later, Y/n… and Scribe Al-Haitham,” the person sooner leaves without any more fight.

“Hey…. What is it with you? Something ruined your morning or something?” You npeered at him and he merely looks away whilst clearing his throat.

‘We were losing our time. I wanted to eat our lunch as soon as possible. Why? Are you suposed to be on a date with that… person?”

“What? What on Teyvat are you saying?” Your reply makes him crack a smirk. Of course, he was right. How could he even think that you were dating that person… at least, he won’t let that happen.

┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

ALBEDO respects you a lot. A whole lot.

Yet that respect comes with admiration, and sooner, he realizes that this admiration might have been stronger than he had thought the moment he saw you with someone else.

He does not engage, however, merely waiting until you had finished your conversation with that certain someone, looking quite joyful than any time else, more than the times you had spent with him, actually.

“Albedo! There you are,” you grinned at him after walking away, even looking back at the figure of the person you had talked to.

His eyes peers at you like a hawk, taking note of everything; with the brightness of your smile, to the shine in your eyes, and to the giggle that erupts from your lips.

Had he ever seen such qualities in your face before? He couldn’t help but question himself as you send him one as well.

“Sorry, just got immersed in the topic… shall we go?”

He forces out a smile—which seemed real nonetheless, “Of course.”

“Hm?” You tilt your head to the side, “Is something the matter?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he immediately answers, thinking that you probably had noticed his staring. He raises his hand and smiles, “shall we?”

He squeezes your hand when you willingly took his. Ah, maybe he could be greedy… just this time, he thinks.

comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated! ♡

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[anantaru]

— sleeping over for the first time

including scaramouche, heizou, kazuha, xiao x gn! reader

genre: fluff, they‘re nervous, kissing, loads of cuddling

— scaramouche

with absolute certainty, the moment you had asked scaramouche if you could sleep over at his place for the first time, his mind threatened to black out in front of your eyes.

obviously in your relationship, things were destined to be quite behind time, it was important for the both of you to take things slow and without rush so no one would end up feeling overwhelmed.

as luck would have it, it was clear you both were ready to take it a further level up.

naturally, it was one thing to meet each other and go on a date, but another to sleep over and spend the night, most importantly, wake up encircled in your arms the following day.

so for quite a while, it rattled an undeniable horror in his unruly thoughts, clearly scaramouche desired to have all ready and set for you but how was he possibly supposed to sleep while you're next to him?

what if the awkwardness would suddenly become so overbearing that one of you would die off suffocation?

mindlessly rehearsing the lines he had set in his brain, you at last, had come to sleep over at his place with his arms already greeting you.

"this is my bed, if you don't fancy it that's on you."

primarily calm, he had now turned back to his usual self, scaramouche found comfort in just being himself and he was thoroughly filled with joy that you did not mind his sense of wording.

"it looks very comfortable, i love it." he took in a second to indulge in your small compliment before snapping himself back to reality. "if you say so."

after a nice dinner the both of you shared, night already approached with you getting ready to sleep.

followed by putting on your sleeping garments, scaramouche and you lowered your bodies into the comfortable cushions together.

the contrast between your slightly nervous, but still composed being and him absolutely not knowing what to do with himself was somewhat hilarious in your eyes.

he could be especially adorable whenever he got flustered by small things like that, might remind him sometimes that that‘s one of the things that made you fall for him in the first place.

taking matters into your own hand, you slowly drew yourself to his body before cautiously looping one arm over his body to rest your head close to him.

scaramouche lightly flinched at your touch, just a bit, it took him off guard but he did not complain, in truth he was delighted that it was you who took the first step because he was sure he wouldn't be able to move a muscle all night.

breathing out relaxingly through your mouth, you voiced your last words to your boyfriend.

"goodnight kuni." to add to it, you made sure to leave a small but memorable kiss on his soft cheek before gathering yourself back on his cold chest.

barely, he was barely able to say anything back. But you sure oughta give him some slack for not saying anything snarky back, at this point he was more nervous than you were.

how do you seem so calm when he's literally dying next to you?

he very much rambled on about this in silence as he turned his body towards your own at last, to of course, embrace you back and get on with this.

his hand was until now shaking but gingerly stilled completely upon placing it on your warm hips.

"goodnight to you too."

— heizou

ah, well, you're mistakenly aware of your boyfriend and his infamous tendencies of being bold in your relationship.

lets say, the both of you shared a nice date together, strolling through the ever so ravishing inazuma city, hand in hand, before he decided to walk you home at last— as heizou tends to do quite often.

by the end of it you beckoned him to come inside for a couple more rounds of cuddling and sweet talks about your days.

but especially after all of that, heizou will become quite tired, he'd rub his blurry eyes ever so often and hug himself closer to your chest before just blurting it out to you.

"i'm sleeping here tonight, okay? okay."

his words were hazy and low now, they broke a little towards the end by how drowsy he had gotten, with that it was only a matter of time before he was fully gone.

"aren't you uncomfortable like this?"

it's as if he didn't even need an answer from you as well, heizou was extra sleepy and wasn't capable of moving a muscle, even if you denied his request, you'd be the one who’d have to walk him home instead.

his whole play with you was a hot take, but you did not mind. Clearly your relationship was very much fresh but it was going to happen sooner or later before you'd sleep over at his place, or vice versa.

especially since you preferred to sleep in your own bed, it was a lot more comfortable for you.

mindlessly, you slipped out of his grasp before he whined for you to come back. You rolled your eyes at him and struggled to piece the words he had thrown towards you together, at this point your boyfriend was simply muttering nonsense to himself.

the most important necessity in your eyes was to get a few extra blankets, in truth, you were quite nervous about all of this but the excitement deep within you took over.

the connection you shared with heizou was already strong on its own but to share a bed with him and wake up the next day was something deemed as romantically intimate in the beginning of each relationship.

before throwing a blanket over your boyfriend, you quickly slipped out of your clothes to put the garments you were sleeping in on, strolling back at last.

frankly then, you got a glance of heizou grimacing a loving grin at you through his sleepy face.

swiftly his arms flew up in the air towards your body to motion you back at him, whining like a puppy when you of course, obliged to his pleas.

"finally, i thought you'd never come back to me."

who knew heizou could be so dramatic when he was sleepy? "i was barely gone." at the last giggle, you closed your eyes to slumber away, this time with your boyfriend by your side.

heizou‘s natural body heat melted into you and at this, you felt secured, safe and were certainly ready to fall asleep.

— kazuha

as were most situations with your boyfriend kazuha, this too, was the result of a spontaneous effect taking place.

he truly couldn't keep his hands off you, they'd either have to be entangled with your own or carefully clasped around the entirety of your body.

after all, kazuha wanted you to be snug and warm at all times, ever so often rubbing calming circles on your back while you were telling him all about yet another boring day which somehow sounded exciting to him.

you see, kazuha was a great listener, and there was nothing he treasured more than you fully trusting him and talking about whatever crossed your mind.

so he figured, maybe, he should just ask if you want to sleep over tonight? it was already appeared to be quite the night, the scent of rain was laced around the cold air and he didn't want you to catch a cold either.

"what do you think of the idea to sleeping over at my place?"

he approached you slowly, noticeably he took baby steps to voice his question, whispering it against the shell of your ear while you were still locked in his sweet embrace.

"sure, if it's really fine by you."

deep within your core, you had anticipated this for a fine while, so you're naturally excited to finally fill a new sense of innocent intimacy in your relationship.

at this, you can be sure about it that kazuha will prepare everything himself, he wants you to feel just like home and doesn‘t require any help from you.

because you, in his heart, were his home so obviously he desired to awaken the same emotion in you. If his place became like a second secure home to you, he'd be more than delighted and filled with sheer bliss.

the thought alone of having his arms around you while dozing off to sleep together made his heart swell heavily, bubbling with excitement.

all the greater was the experience as he got back with an extra pair of blankets and a soft pillow, gently placing it where it belonged before draping the cover over your bodies.

"come here."

the next gesture of his was easy to decipher, kazuha wanted you near and spread his arms apart so you could properly find a homely spot to sleep on, embracing him back.

"are you comfortable?" he gingerly kissed your forehead, once, twice, before lowering his head to meet your glowing eyes, "i am."

the soft hums of his voice were relaxing like a silent sea on a calm night, helping you doze off.

furthermore, the once nervous emotion had soon gone missing and the anticipation of waking up next to your boyfriend the following day had you fancy all the future memories greeting you.

— xiao

it was clear as day that xiao was exceedingly more anxious and nervous than you were.

on top of that he wasn't certain on why he'd become so tense at something so ordinary than sharing a bed with each other.

of course, he wasn't the most experienced in the relationship department, but his mind would still spin uncontrollably within his lost thoughts.

at one particular point xiao's muscles would become so stiff, you'd actually have to ask him again if he was okay with you sleeping over tonight.

to add to his already embarrassing display, he now had to make sure he isn't scaring you off.

"of course you can stay, why wouldn't you?"

coughing right after answering, xiao repeated the same sentence in a much lighter, smoother voice.

"just asking, i want you to be comfortable."

you're certainly no stranger to your boyfriends personality, but unexpectedly to you, he did agree on spending the night together.

you could've bet on it that he would simply switch topics, which of course, wouldn't be a problem either.

"i‘m always comfortable with you by my side."

with someone as xiao, patience was key, you were ready to wait as much as needed for him to warm up to all of this, after all he hadn't encountered relationships like this before, meaning you were his first in many things.

xiao wasn't showing any signs of real emotions anymore, he simply laid flat and waited for you to be done in the bathroom.

you gradually lowered yourself to the snuggly bed afterwards with xiao sharply watching your every move.

from there on, you scooted closer to place your arm on him so he could lay his head on your chest, if he so desired it, you would never force anything on him.

"goodnight xiao, sleep well."

knowing full on well that xiao could become quite embarrassed by you simply looking at him, you closed your tired eyes and appeared to have been dozing off, not fully but almost.

it was then when he slipped himself towards you, closing the gap of your bodies to nuzzle himself in your chest, just a tiny bit, so featherlight he was almost unable to be perceived if it wasn't for his warm breath coating your collarbones.

tired of his own jagged breathing, he bit back his lip to force himself to calm his nerves before letting go of his tender muscles.

as his lips were carefully grazing over your tender skin— not to mention how he thought you were already long sleeping, he added a quick kiss on your collarbone.

you could discern that particular motion of his as a way to show worship and appreciation towards you.

obviously xiao was never full asleep, he honestly couldn't be, even if he tried.

if there was something to happen he had to be full on awake and face the so called enemies and protect you in the process.

but being directly confronted with a newly found emotion like this surely was scary at first, not because he was scared of you, but because he did not encounter a situation like this before.

at one point he debated what was harder to pass, a bloodthirsty fight or this.

yet for you, the fact that he had shown you slight factors of his own vulnerability was surreal, after all, there was nothing better than xiao showing you the undying trust he held towards your person.

©2022 anantaru do not share, copy, translate

[yanfeisty]

— Voicelines about Creator!Reader (Inazuma) ♡ ！

⊹ [ characters ] — Ayaka, Ayato, Ei, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kazuha, Kokomi, Sara, Sayu, Shinobu, Thoma, Yae Miko & Yoimiya. ◞

⊹ [ synopsis ] — let's see what they think about you. ◞

⊹ [ cw ] — religious themes. ◞

⠀‣ Ayaka

About The Creator: Divine Presence

"It's always a pleasure to have Our God blessing the festivities we prepared with their presence, the sun and moon appear to shine brighter when they're here, and the people happier. It surely makes me happy to see them enjoying the festival..."

About The Creator: Consort

"As an Acolyte and a member of the Kamisato clan, it is a great honor to be Their Grace's consort... But if I may tell my more personal feelings, I feel at ease with Y/n, like I can be myself, I don't feel like people want to know more about us beyond our positions, but when we're together we don't have any titles separating us. Have you seen the beautiful scenery of the sun at dawn dazzling on Inazuma? Their smile are alike."

⠀

⠀‣ Ayato

About The Creator: Divine Ceremonies

"It is the duty of the Yashiro Commission to held festivities in Their Grace's name, such as welcoming parties, the day of their descent, and birthday of course, while trying to fit their taste. With all due respect, I have to say their opinions are quite interesting... You see, playing tcg wouldn't be the first idea I'd have for an official ceremony."

About The Creator: Consort

"Hm... So you wish to know more about our union? I suppose I can share with you a few things. We sadly don't have much time for each other as we're quite busy with our own matters, therefore I try to express my feelings in letters and presents. They did tell me it was useless to spoil them with such 'overexpensive' gifts, but... the sight of their lovely face trying to suppress a smile won't ever stop to amuse me... Besides, no price comes close to my love for Y/n."

⠀

⠀‣ Raiden Shogun

About The Creator: Remaining Soul

"Their body may have perished, but their creations never have once forgot about them. Now, they have been reincarnated into this fragile body, but they are slowly regaining their power as it has remained into the memory of the land. This is eternity at its purest form."

⠀‣ Ei

About The Creator: Consort

"Ah, my exceptional lover. In many ways they have changed my daily routine, I tried things I would never have done before, that I considered futile for my quest of pursuing eternity. But they made me realized even the smallest actions, no matter if they last for long or not, can bring an eternal feeling to one, for exemple the pleasure of eating a dessert is temporary, but the memory of its delicious taste will always be unchanging and bring happiness to the one remembering it. I accepted their proposal as a promise that by my side they shall remain joyful forevermore."

⠀

⠀‣ Gorou

About The Creator: Prayers

"I have heard few of my soldiers praying that none of their comrades or themselves would die before any serious battles or missions, I'm not really a religious person but I can't blame them, if this help them to have courage then why not?"

About The Creator: Consort

"They have brought a lot of help to Watatsumi Island, and that was even before we get together! What I love about them is that they're always so caring with whoever, they're so kind-hearted... They have lots of others qualities too, they're beautiful, funny, cunning, and the list goes on. They also must have some sort of magic in their hands, always finding my best spot to rub... H-hm, that st-stay between us, of cou-rse, I don't want them to tease me about it..."

⠀

⠀‣ Heizou

About The Creator: An interesting Case

"Quite the intriguing person, aren't they? I'm not really into godly affairs but I have to admit that them waking up with not only no memories of their past life but new ones from another world is quite...hm, intriguing."

About The Creator: Consort

"They truly have no shame for playing and stealing the heart of a member of the Tenryou Commission, they used my own tricks to make me fall over heels for them and now I don't think I can recover. Sadly their title make it impossible for me to arrest them and make them face justice, but that doesn't mean I can't teach them a lesson with my own ways..."

⠀

⠀‣ Itto

About The Creator: Ultimate Battle

"I didn't think much of them before they challenged me to a duel of tcg! Of course, I accepted it, I'm not the one to run away from a challenge and people from everywhere knows them, winning against them means that everyone will know the name of Arataki 'The Ultimate TCG Champion' Itto, ha! The one who defeated The Creator with no fear, people would never dare to fight me again, as the simple mention of my name strikes fear into my opponents, hehe... Huh? Did I actually beat them? Well... not yet, but it's only a matter of time before glory fall upon me!"

About The Creator: Consort

"The wha-? Oh yeah, sorry, I'm not used to call them that, I mostly use 'My ultimate bro', 'My one and oni', 'My onikaboo-boo', 'Cutie-sweetie-you-wish-you-had-them-ie-but-you-can't-because-this-lovely-is-the-lover-of-this-oni'. But yeah, they're fantastic, they help me to get out of jail, though sometimes they say I deserve it and leave me there... But besides that, they're an excellent cuddle buddy, always knowing how to brush my hair and horns not too delicately but not too rou-... Hey! What are you laughing at? Oh... So you think that's funny that the fierce leader of the Arataki gang have a cuddle buddy? Pff... I don't care what you think and I'm sure you're just jealous."

⠀

⠀‣ Kazuha

About The Creator: Independence

"Everywhere I go their name is on everyone's lips, I have heard they were kind and thoughtful, but what I recall best is their free spirit and wish to explore all of Teyvat, including the people but the responsibilities they have to shoulder prevent them from realizing their ambitions... Like a bird in a cage."

About The Creator: Consort

"To be truthful with you, I was hesitant of this offer, I love them with all my heart more than anything else, but what does being a consort means? I wanted to continue my life with the loving carefree spirit I fell in love with not The Creator, I was concerned that we would be tied by others' expectations and wouldn't be able to live our life freely. But... they know me best and reassured me that none of this would happen. I'll be forever grateful that our paths met, they know how to comfort me."

⠀

⠀‣ Kokomi

About The Creator

"It is difficult to know whom can you put your trust in, and if so how much amount. The Creator have proven we can trust them to help Watatsumi Island, and as its Divine Priestess I'm deeply thankful to what they have done for us. But I started to fully trust them when I discussed with them, their help didn't have any other intention than just being an act of kindness... I'm slightly concerned that others will abuse of their sympathy, but I'll be there in case that happens."

⠀

⠀‣ Sara

About The Creator

"The Raiden Shogun and myself are both Acolytes of The Creator, and since The Shogun worships them I shall give them my undying loyalty and forever assist them. Even if... their casual personality and peculiar behavior during official ceremonies is quite questionable for a God..."

⠀

⠀‣ Sayu

About The Creator

"I heard about them but only saw them once, I saw their hand going towards my head so I quickly avoided it, turned out they wanted to ruffle my hair, unlike head pats I don't think it will stop me from growing so I let them, but that made me feel even more sleepy."

⠀

⠀‣ Shinobu

About The Creator

"I have to thank them for saving us from difficult situations which even I couldn't do anything. The gang really love them especially the Boss, they're easy going and it's easy to forget they're the most superior being in all of Teyvat, they could have been one of us but of course their position doesn't allow them, but like the Boss said they're an official-but-not-really-member-of-The-Arataki-gang."

⠀

⠀‣ Thoma

About The Creator: Fun Activities

"They're very different from The Shogun, they don't really seek for an ideal like the Archons, they just simply want to enjoy life in Teyvat, haha... They've surprised me with asking if they could play the hotpot game, and I can tell you it was very fun, though I really need to pay attention to what ingredients I put... The others would probably kill me if Y/n even just has a small brain freeze, hehe..."

About The Creator: Consort

"Yes, I've heard people saying 'how can they marry a simple housekeeper?' and I have to say I wonder the same, ahaha... They're so lovely and a kind-hearted soul, I still can't believe they proposed to me, it feels like a dream when I'm with them. And we're partners in crimes when it comes to feeding and petting every stray animals in Inazuma, if you saw how easily they attract animals, it took me days to explain to every pet owners why did their pet suddenly disappeared..."

⠀

⠀‣ Yae Miko

About The Creator: Divine inspiration

"Ah yes, they're a great inspiration and pretty much all of our books related to them sell like hotcakes, we're currently on the 3rd volume of 'Divine Expressions for Dummies', we also do novels that are loosely based on them, 'Next thing I knew... I was a Deity', 'Me and My 100 Spouses' and one of my favorites is 'The Fake God' it is quite the tragedy and not the happiest book, but the end where the main character has their revenge is... satisfying."

About The Creator: Consort

"My, my, curious, aren't you? I can't really blame you, an individual like Y/n is quite the partner, a boring moment doesn't last long with them, they're just so fun to tease and their hands are very soft a perfect recommendation for everyone with fur. Hm? Everyone keeps telling you about how good they pet them? Oh well, I guess I can't blame those people, but I'll have to discuss this with Y/n when I see them..."

⠀

⠀‣ Yoimiya

About The Creator: A Shared Enthusiasm

"Y/n! Have you seen them? They're always so busy... Sometimes they come to buy me fireworks whenever if they want to keep it as a souvenir of Inazuma or asking me if we can use them together. Fireworks don't need to wait for festivals to be used, and what is cool is that with Y/n no one dares to contradict them and tell us when and where we can't do fireworks, ahh... I hope I'll see them again soon."

About The Creator: Consort

"Unbelievable, right? If we have told me I would marry a God one day I would've laugh at them. When I met Y/n I didn't even know about their true identity, but lemme tell you, them creating Teyvat and all is the least interesting part about them, they're sweet and fun, they always tell stories about their other world and the kids and I love them so much. And they share my passion for fireworks! We're planning to do the biggest fireworks show that can be seen in all of Teyvat at the same time, even if they're lots of things we didn't consider but the thought is beautiful, isn't it? Aha... Also when I told pops about me and Y/n he couldn't stop smiling for the whole week! Though, I'm not sure if he understood the part that I told it was 'The Creator'."

© ་ ׅ : pls don't translate or copy this | don't reblog with yand3r3/cult tags or if you’re a yand3r3 blog/reblog account.

@ ་ ׅ : @haileyo0ostuff

[faru-itsok]

PART 2 PEOPLE

So now the angst!

We have seen kaito kinda sad under the rain and all. BUT INSPECTOR NAKAMORI GETTING SHOT?!

I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON?!

How am I supposed to live with that?! I love the dynamic between Kaito and the Inspector, but seeing them get hurt?! Nooooo I need to see that they are ok, I know for certain that they will be, but I NEED to see them with my own eyes ASAP!

My god and Kaito shooting the sniper?! I love him

And now finally the cute scenery

Not just everything around is beautiful, this scene between Hattori and Kazuha?! I’m going to die people

And now the bad part

WHERE THE FUCK IS AOKO!

My girl my sun ray I will be waiting for you I have faith that you will be there!

Well that’s about it, thanks for coming to see my post where I can let out my excitement without getting myself kicked out of my house.

I hope my organ/soul selling goes well and I can be there in April. If it goes right, does anyone want to go with me to a movie where we just have to guest what they are saying?

Lots of love to you my people!

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Idk if you're still taking requests but imagine one day Kazuha finds Creator's death note diary and finds a bunch of names. Realizing those are the people who killed the Creator before, he went "Ykw, I'm giving Our Holy One some therapy with the help of my friends" and kidnaps grabs Fischl, Mona, Xinyan, and finally you for an adventure-therapy or something something-

*cutely inserts Tomo breakdancing in Celestia*

PFFT that would be obviously hilarious and adorable.

I can definitely see the group having so much fun, probably telling stories of their lives that aren't mentioned in game. Maybe the creator also gaining information on how these specific characters views others. Like Mona's views of Fontaine or something.

Bonus if where they went was towards those summertime event islands.

But if we're considering Death Seeking Creator (I should probably make it known if those who send in asks don't want me to talk about Death Seeking please just tell me cause otherwise I'll just assume and we know what happens when assuming) though I don't think it would be possible considering he also was someone who killed the creator. Now I don't think he did it out of pure religious reasons, he's more level headed than that. He's someone who only kills "imposters" out of mercy, like Kaeya actually.

He makes it as quick and painless as possible, sometimes having done sneak attacks (so in the diary, the entries would only mention what the day as like before they write about them suddenly seeing darkness and then waking up in another nation). Not too mention the creator would use every single opportunity to experience another death.

They definitely would question Kazuha on why he's doing this, maybe even have some small breakthrough of where they're screaming at him and hurling insults that were thrown their way. Just absolutely trying to beat a dead horse essentially of why they have to die and that they don't understand why everyone is suddenly saying the opposite.

Tbh this makes me think of how confusing any therapy would be for Death Seeking Creator, because I can imagine them as this childishly stubborn person who refuses to see it as any other way purely because everything they did, they tried to do to change the outcome, always resulted in death no matter what. Peaceful talks? They couldn't get a word in before being sliced down. Fighting like a wild animal? Like they could defeat a god with their bare hands. Hiding and never greeting another person? They're always found out somehow, it's like the characters are drawn to them. Disguises? Even that doesn't work. Nothing they did work. So it had to be destiny right? They had to have this role of constant death? Why? Who fucking knows? They're not a god, they were never supposed to be a god. Why question the ways of a being they have no comprehension of how they think? It would be better to just play the role given, to be the the target every hunter wants. To be that white rabbit that gets chased by Alice throughout the story. But how they go? Well that'll be up to them, if the gods want some sick entertainment, why not make it more interesting?

[koiir]

IM SUPER SHY, SUPER SHY!

In which you/he starts to realize his feelings

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Characters: xiao, Scaramouche, ayato, kazuha x gn!reader

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Genre/content : fluff | Drabbles based on “super shy”

A/n: I’m super shy super shyy | not proofread

But wait a minute while I make you mine, make you mine

Xiao doesn’t know how long he will keep this up, how long will he admire you from the sidelines as you chat away with others? What if someone takes their chance and whisk you away? Xiao feels like a fool for not doing anything about these feelings, he can only sigh as he looks out the window.

Xiao really wishes he can die in this moment, cause after hearing venti’s words he thinks he just might pass out.

“I asked out [name] for you! You two will have a cute little date xiao aren’t you happy?!” Xiao gives an annoyed expression as he scoffs, he doesn’t…you agreed? Why would you agree? Xiao doesn’t know what to make of this, but maybe he’s a little happy at venti and what he did—cause now xiao has a chance, a chance to make you fall for him.

It’s the day of supposed “date” that you and xiao have, you seem to be calm unlike xiao who is trembling as he walks up to the table you sit at in the cafe. He has the smell of cafe and sweets in his nose and he sits down seeing you so up close like never before.

“Hi xiao!” You say with a warm tone, he replies back. “Hey” it’s short but he makes sure he isn’t blunt like he always is, hoping not to make you nervous or unpleased. To his surprise, you and xiao get along quite well, being able to make the conversation flow. He feels his heart thump as he makes you laugh, this is a good start…

It’s a while after you xiao and leave the cafe, for you two to stroll through the park nearby. He feels like this is a dream, being so close to you and almost being able to hold your hand. Maybe in the future, he tells himself.

Maybe xiao is glad venti has done this, maybe now he can spend the rest of his weekends like this because as you two sit down you ask him a question.

“Do you want to hang out another time xiao? I really enjoyed today.”

It’s like you have something over xiao, cause he can’t stop stuttering even after he tried to calm down. “O-Oh, yeah yeah that’s fine…when?” He hopes you don’t notice his voice shake, but you only laugh as you hand him your phone.

The move was the last straw for xiao as he can’t handle his heart thumping, he swears you can probably hear it…. As he takes your phone, his face is blushed realizing the karma he gets for keeping in these feelings for this long. It’s like he’s only falling deeper and deeper into you.

Trembling even now, you’re on my mind all the time

Scaramouche taps his foot as he grumbles and mumbles, recalling the words from that idiot he hates so much. “Bro it’s so obvious you’re jealous stop staring at them like that…”

Why would he be jealous? How they hell does Childe know about his feelings?

Scaramouche thinks back when he saw you talking with that guy that was clearly flirting with you….how could you not see it? You kept talking to that dude, why?! He felt so…frustrated knowing you were just ordering something clearly not having noticed Scaramouche with Childe in the same cafe as you.

He watches your figure as you walk back to your table as you study, he sees you go on your phone and wonders. Are you alone? Is someone else coming? Do you have a study date…with someone?

“Ayy scara, stop staring.”

Ugh, he’s back. Childe walks back looking over at where you are seated at, noticing Scaramouche has his gaze locked onto you. He can only look away with a faint blush on his face as he realizes he can truly never take his eyes off you.

“Shut up Childe before I get up and leave.”

He snickers at the indigo’s response, knowing he worked up Scaramouche gets when it comes to you. Childe can’t help it though, does Scaramouche not really understand his own feelings? Well, it doesn’t surprise him much since it is him.

“Look, it’s clear that you like [name] it’s not like you don’t watch their ever move or do anything in your power to get closer to them.” Childes words for once seem to affect Scaramouche as he ponders the question.

“After so many months….I still can’t get you off my mind.”

He thinks back onto when you two started talking, and wonders what more could come if he does something. What more could become of you two is he takes control over the situation?

“And what is it to you if I like [name]? Huh?”

Childe can only grin as he hears the words come out of Scaramouche, finally being able to come to terms with feelings for once. For you.

And I wanna go out with you / Where you wanna go?

Knock. You hear the knocking and you immediately open the door to see Ayato standing there with a bouquet in hand as he gives you that charming smile of his. You sigh as you look away feeling flustered seeing him like this, but it’s not the first time ayato has done this. You don’t know how long it’s been since ayato has started to pursue you, not like you’re complaining though.

Ayato has always been a gentleman, that’s what others tell you when they see you two interact.

“He’s clearly head over heels for you, do you see all the little things he has done for you?”

Maybe you have, but at the time you thought it was Ayato just being caring. Guess not. Cause he definitely…wouldn’t act like this with anyone else, the way he holds your hand is intimate that it makes you feel safe almost as if he is protecting you.

You two take a walk around the city, the citizens definitely not expecting ayato to be in the public eye like this. Holding your hand as you two make it clear that you are his and he is yours.

It’s the way his voice is smooth like honey whenever he does an act of service for you, it’s the way ayato seems to do anything for you. It certainly doesn’t help how easily flustered you are getting by his actions, it almost makes you forget the day is coming to an end.

The stars are in view as you look up, feeling the presence of ayato next to you as the wind moves through his hair—you can’t help but be memorized by ayato with the way his skin is almost glowing under the moonlight. You shiver slightly since the night is becoming colder as the seconds pass.

Ayato sees this as he already has his eyes on you, he makes another move out of the many he has today and takes of the jacket he usually always wears and drapes it over your shivering body.

“There…that should help.” You feel him so close as he says those words to you in your ear, pulling you closer to him so you can feel his warmth.

Your eyes widened at his action and you feel yourself gasp slightly, it’s almost like you’re stuck in a daze as ayato holds you. You don’t know what to do or say, you only snuggle closer and hold his jacket close to your body feeling the warmth from his jacket.

Ayato smiles, he can’t help but feel happiness in his heart at it seems to only grow more and more stronger for you. It’s almost like you understand what he is feeling, cause in that moment you feel your heart thump making it clear that he’s the reason. The reason for your fluttering heart and growing feelings for him.

Can you see my eyes suddenly shine / When you say I’m your dream

Kazuha feels glad to have you here next to him, he watches you skim through the documents as you stare with so much focus. He knows how you work, you tend to work alone and be independent without the help or presence of others until it is needed—so Kazuha feels special knowing you came to him.

He doesn’t mind the solitude of this moment, he doesn’t care if no words are spoken between you two—because all Kazuha craves is to be like this with you forever.

He smiles, seeing your brows furrow as you mouth something while trying solve the problem and come up with the solution for this.

“Thinking?” He asks you, you nod while looking away from the files and back to him. You see the soft smile on his face, you can’t help but feel a sense of relief knowing he’s here with you.

“You know, you can leave Kazu and do other things.

Isn’t it boring watching me for this long?”

Kazuha knows that no matter what he will never get bored, not if it’s with you. He thinks hard for the best words to tell you, wanting to tell you only the truth and make you realize how deep he feels for you.

“You say that but know I’ve always stayed by your side even if you’re working and no words are exchanged.

I like this, you give me the comfort I need whenever I think of home [name]. It’s almost like…you’re my home.”

Kazuha doesn’t usually see you get surprised so easily, but the way your eyes widened tells a different story.

You look away, feeling his words impact you with your feelings overtaking you. You feel your heart thump, you feel yourself become flustered at his words. You were scared this was only chaining him down, but it’s not Kazuha has ever done anything to make this theory true.

You know he is saying the truth, Kazuha has only ever been truthful with the words he says. And with the way he took time to think about his words, you know he views it as a fact.

Kazuha knows he’ll follow you wherever, he will always look for a new adventure with you. He can’t imagine going alone anymore without you by his side.

“What do you say [name]? Tell me, I’m all ears.” Kazuha and his smile make you look back at him, he now has his hand placed over yours as he awaits your answer.

“I’ll go wherever you want Kazuha, I’ll be your home.”

[dilucsfav]

OH EM GEE HIIIIII !! FOR THE SUB THINGY COULD I REQUEST XIAO, SCARA, GOROU AND KAZUHA IF YOU CAN???? ABSOLUTELY NO RUSH AT ALL, TAKE YOUR TIME RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

omg HIIII!!!

HELL YES I WAS PRAYING SOMEBODY WOULD REQUEST THIS

this is gonna be so fun to write!! i had a lot of fun with dom genshin men acting like subs, it’s time to do sub men acting like doms😻TEHEHEHSHS THIS EXCITES ME

…. i have never written for some of these characters (gorou, scara, ALBEDO!!!, etc etc) but i’m so excited omg

i’m so sorry i’ve been so absent HELPPPP my energy has been so low and shit but i’m really trying to write more i promise I HAVE SO MANY FUN REQUESTS I WANNA WRITE AHHH

there were so many men i wanted to write for this so i’m sorry it took a while </3 but yes here you all go!!

Dom!genshin men x sub!reader (ft. scaramouche, xiao, kazuha, gorou, albedo, tighnari, childe)

warning(s): nsfw, slight? knife play, blood, marks and bruises, choking, spanking… yeah all the good shit, put ur big boy panties on😩

scaramouche

im sorry but he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about your pleasure when he’s being dom-

would force you to choke on his dick with no mercy ong, just making you take it all deep and hard and mhmmm

IM SORRY LMAO IM JUST IMAGINING HIS SMALL ASS BEING DOM AND TRYING TO BOSS YOU AROUND AND ITS MAKING ME GIGGLE-

IMAGINE CALLING HIS FUCKING 4 FOOT 3 ASS “DADDY” OR “MASTER”- IM SORRY I 😭😭

sorry these are supposed to be good hcs mb

anywho he’d be a very mean & stubborn dom, and low key kinda abusive-

WOULD slap you if you’re a brat/didn’t do something right that he asked of you. like NOT SPANKING but like SLAPPING

would absolutely get off to seeing you bleed/using a knife on you💀

^^AND CRYING TOO??? yeah he’d probably hit you so hard or fuck you too much until you’re a crying mess cuz he’s into that and we all fuckin know it

“Say it again, (Y/N). You wanna be stuffed with cock so fucking bad, huh? Admit it.”

would call you dirty slut, whore, yada yada all that shit

IM SORRY YALL LMAO I DONT VIBE W SCARA IN THAT WAY BUT HOPEFULLY ITS SOMEWHAT ACCURATE 💔💔💔

Xiao

xiao please fuck me

anyways

so mean but such a soft dom at the same time, you get me?

when hes thrusting n shit, he’d totally go slower and harder rather than quicker and not-as-hard

…. cuz let’s be honest… if he went FAST… literally would be digging your fucking grave cuz his inner demons would definitely conquer the fuck out of your tushy

IM SORRY IMAGINE HIM GOING EXTREMELY FAST AND JUST GOING “EVIL CONQUERING” DURING IT-

i’m sorry please laugh at my jokes

honestly there isn’t really any kinks that i can think of that’d he’d be into?

in general, i think sex with him would be EXTREMELY intimate & sweet. like throughout it he’d pleasure you but he’d be so careful about it and so sweet💔💔 he’d have moments where he’d get carried away but it never goes too far

his teeth latching onto your neck while he’s fucking you HELLO!!!!!! CONQUER ME PLS

“You’ve been so, so good for me. Do you think you can take it all, (Y/N)?”

dude his dick would be to die for- cuz it’s not super big, in fact it’s pretty average size, BUT ITS SUCH GOOD DICK LIKE HE GIVES SUCH GOOD DICK AND WE ALL KNOW IT. LIKE HE KNOWS HOW TO MOVE IT IN ALL THE GOOFY FEEL GOOD AREAS N SWEET SPOTS N EVERYTHING

^^imagining his body all sweaty while he’s towering over you, fucking you, watching your expression and panting, brushing this thumb over your face and praising you but in a way that he’s asserting that he’s in control?

PLEASEEE

dude i’m sorry i’m sorry but i need to write just regular hcs & scenarios w xiao SO I CAN WRITE ABOUT RIDING HIS DICK CUZ GODDD

anyways i’m getting too carried away with xiao, next friend to write about-

Kazuha Kaedehara

soft dom. one hundred fucking percent. no way in HELL anybody can convince me he’d be a mean dom.

ngh ngh ngh THATS THE SOUNDS HE’D MAKE, THATS THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE HIS WHIMPER/MOAN WHEN HES GIVING DICK

tbh he’s just so gentle but so teasing to you too- he’d absolutely embarrass you and get you all flustered and have no regrets about it

“Mm… feels good here, (Y/N)? Look me on the eyes and tell me, my flower.”

would hit ALL the sweet spots and we all know it

pls pls he’d intertwine yours and his fingers and squeeze your hands super tight while he’s doing it with you, god god while also asking if you’re comfortable? omfgggg

…… do i think kazuha kaedehara likes seeing you tied up? ………. kinda

IDK CAN YALL SEE IT??? CUZ IDK I FEEL LIKE HE’D JUST ENJOY IT, OR AT LEAST HOLDING YOUR HANDS ABOVE UR HEAD?? PLS with that little innocent look of his /////////…

he’d do this awfully attractive chuckle during it I CAN JUST FUCKING PICTURE IT

oh holy shit he’d absolutely lift your legs onto his shoulders so he can kiss your thighs and just hold your legs cuz cuz coz UHHSHSHSHSH

legs legs what’s on the menu? legs legs what’s on the menu? legs legs what’s on the menu? *clap clap clap clap* LEGS!!!!

(please tell me i don’t sound like a dumbass and that somebody gets that song reference)

honestly kazu is totally a pro with his fingers… i don’t make the rules, i just write them

that made no fucking sense anyways

Gorou

IVE ACTUALKY NEVER WRITTEN FOR GOROU IVE BEEN WANTING TO FOR SO LONG HES SO MS HINA BBG

i’m sorry i’m cackling at the idea of gorou being dom but

ok but if he’s the dom one, it’s probably if he’s… in heat

^^YOU KNEW IT HAD TO BE SAID CMON CUS WHEN ELSE IS THIS MF PUPPY ENERGY MAN GONNA BE DOM? exactly.

so with that being said, we all know what “puppy energy” is like… puppies are very fast therefore Gorou go vroom vroom in that hole-

am i making too many dog jokes?? this is going to make me sound disgusting im going insane

so anyways … yeah so he’d go super fast and he wouldn’t really talk too much dirty he would just be VERYYY vocal and would pant and whine and grunt and all that shit

imagine him whispering “yes yes yes…” as he’s yknow GOD SAVE ME FROM MY HORRENDOUS SINS

he would hold your face as he’s going absolutely feral stop and then give you sloppy little kisses all around cuz he loves you 💔💔

i don’t think he’d bite & leave hickeys to “mark his territory” or whatever… that’d be a different character in heat 🌝 (that character comes later in these headcanons hehe get it because this text is green get it and anyways nvm)

so anywho he’d definitely leave smooches all over you and would just make you feel so loved and would give you ALLL the fucking attention

instead of being the type of dude to say that shit like “good girl/boy” “good job” “you’re doing well”… i can’t really see that idk maybe that’s just me??

^^ i think he’d probably say more things like “you’re so beautiful when you do that” “i’m so grateful to have somebody like you” yknow???

“(Y/N), don’t stop that, please… you should just look at how amazing you look right now.”

he’s so cute though definitely a soft dom that would make you feel all good n happy n loved and hhhhhhhhhhhh

Albedo

FINALLY I CAN WRITE FOR ALFREDO SAUCE HOLY FUCKING SHIT

please IVE WANTED TO WRITE FOR HIM SO LONG PLEASE YALL DONT EVEN KNOW HES LITERALLY MY FAV GENSHIN CHARACTER YALL PLS

anyways

jesus omfg he’s such a hot dom GUYS GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING TO RANT TO SOMEBODY (besides my magnificent partner they are so amazing for listening to my bullshit) ABOUT HOW DOM ALBEDO WOULD BE IN BED

for starters he’d tie you up. not just wrists but fucking ankles too

also while he’s fucking you he’d give you this look of like?? as if he’s studying you?? yk like examining you for a test or some shit yess me next master ngh🌝

would also have this look of just DISINTEREST while he’s going ham with you, like almost like he’s bored??😭😭 just so unphased

^^ just imagine him staring at you blankly PLEASE THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY FUNNY TO ME CUZ ITS SO TRUE IDK (and it’s hot)

absolutely he’d tame your attitude so fucking fast. such a big tease omg help

honestly he’s totally a giver- like he’s kinda not human so bro prolly dgaf about some of that shit anyways but imagining this scrumptious man slightly creasing his brows before releasing? eye and ear candy

(guys i promise i don’t just like him cuz of his massive fucking cock i actually just like him cuz his lore i swear-)

“Oh… did that feel nice, (Y/N), hm? Right there, was it?”

let me be your test subject pls

would rub your head?? afterwards?? THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM BUT IT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD TOO LIKE ITS HIS FORM OF PRAISE OR SOME SHIT

his aftercare is literally “ok put ur pants back on, let’s get back to work”

why am i attracted to emotionally dismissive gentlemen?

Tighnari

ah yes, i missed writing for tighnari

shit he’s so he’s so

unlike gorou (when he’s in heat), tighnari doesn’t necessarily have to be in heat to be dom…

god he’s such a fucking tease, he’d EMBARRASS THE FUCK out of you and would just laugh

another man that just takes it slow but OH HO HOOO IS HE FUCKING GOOD AT IT

teaser whilst also he’s twirling your hair with a finger, rubbing your lip with his thumb, smirking at you, voice low, hand rubbing sweet but suggestive circles all over you YESS PLS SIR

“Tsk… so needy, aren’t you, (Y/N)? You can’t wait very long at all for it, can you? Go ahead and ask me for it then, little slut.”

he has such attitude 💔💔💔

sex with him is the definition of “breeding you” cuz it’s just that… intense… just hot n sweaty and mhmm we all know fs

would bite your back, stomach, chest, legs… would leave bruises n hickeys ALL over you omfg with no shame at all

he wouldn’t give you anything unless you asked or begged for it NICELY ofc

^^would rub your head with a small “good girl/boy” praise too YUMMYYYY

even though he’s a big tease, he’d also make sure you’re okay with everywhere he’s touching you and would make sure to give you a nice lil aftercare session right after <333

Childe

jesus yall i had a childe phase-

i mean he’s cool n shit but like idk i don’t vibe with him much anymore🙁 HES SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE FOR THOUGH!!!!

he’d spank you, tie you up, shove your face into the sheets and make you take it, would laugh at you if you cried… yeah he’s fucking mean in bed

^^ he’d know what’s too far n shit but yeah

^^^ ALSO IS IT JUST ME WHOS ALWAYS GOTTEN HUGE VIBES THAT CHILDE IS DEFINITELY INTO SPANKING YOU?? like there’s definitely other characters BUT ESPECIALLY HIM LIKE???!?!?!?!?

sex with him is so hot help, probably hurts so fucking bad because his dick is probably massive but it’d feel so good and would be so worth it

i’m going to rot in hell for being such a whore

this is so foul to say but he’d make you wear a skirt while he… yeahhh from the back 🤰

I MEAN AM I WRONG??

^^ mf probably wants to see you in a maid dress & cat ears n shit too he seems like he’d be so down fucking bad

he’d totally grab your face and make you look at him while he’s doing his shit

“Feels nice, yeah? You want me to keep going?”

no matter how dom he may act, he will never not whimper

^^^I CANT SEE HIM GROANING LMFAOSO HES TOTALLY A WHIMPERER

…. and he’d get off to seeing you cry. or rather wants to see you cry

^^ CUZ HE’D BE ALL “aww does it hurt that bad? I’m sorry…” AND ACT ALL CHILDISH

nasty man smh

[sereneres]

sick. (sort of) ⁰

k. chaewon & m. sakura x 6th member!reader / 0.7k

summary. — in which you’re sick enough to have one (1) bead of sweat roll down the side of your face.

warnings. — eunchae pops in and then disappears / i wrote a majority of this at midnight lol, i am not sick.

you’re sick.

so sick that you felt like you were going to die in the next few seconds if a doctor didn’t come and–

“you don’t feel warm.” chaewon murmured, her hand placed on your forehead. “you’re also not red, nor are you sweating.” she then moved her hand to the side of your neck, her brows furrowed as she stared at you. “are you sure you’re sick?”

okay, well, maybe you weren’t that sick—at least, you weren’t so sick that you needed a doctor to come and fix you—but it wasn’t like you weren’t not sick either.

“i don’feel okay.” you slur, wincing when you feel your head pound. “everythin’ hurts.”

chaewon, frowning, sighs and moves to remove her hand from your throat, only for you to take it and press your cheek against her palm.

“‘nnie, you’re s’warm…” you mutter, eyes drifting shut oh so slowly. “‘rey’sureyou’n’sick?”

the older girl purses her lips, her frown deepening as she gently shook you awake, causing you to whine. “yn, please try and stay awake. you can’t take medicine if you aren’t.”

“medicine?” just hearing the word is enough to make you snap awake. “wh’ch medicine? ‘s it the one tha’ tastes goo’ or the one that tastes supa’ bitta’?”

“neither of them taste good or bitter, yn.” she says, sighing. “both of them are supposed to be sweet just so that kids can eat it without whining, but–”

“what’s going on here?”

the two of you turned your heads to the door—well, more like chaewon did. you had just slowly spun in your chair until you were somewhat facing the door—where the oldest of the six of you stood.

“hi ‘nnie!” you greeted, slugishly waving your hand at the older girl. “wh’nd yu’ge’here?”

she blinks, making you blink back at her, if not a little bit slowly. “what?”

“she’s asking, ‘when did you get here?’” chaewon translated, giving you a weirded-out look when you let out a not-so-quiet giggle at the thought of needing a translator to translate your perfectly understandable—and definitely not slurred—words. “and to answer your question, ynnie is sick. sort of.”

“sort of?” eunchae—where the hell did she come from?—asked, popping out from behind sakura—oh.—with an unimpressed look on her face. “how is someone ‘sort of sick’?”

“have you taken her temperature yet?” sakura asked, her lips pursed.

chaewon shook her head, her brows furrowed. “i haven’t, but she doesn’t feel all that warm, she isn’t red, and she isn’t sweating.”

“but ‘m sweating.” you pouted, pointing at what you’re pretty sure is a bead of sweat on the side of your face. “see?”

“yn isn’t warm, she isn’t red, but she is sweating.” chaewon amended. satisfied by the correction, you give your leader a gummy smile and, to your delight, she returns it with a small smile of her own.

“…let’s just bring her to the kitchen.” sakura decided with a sigh. “the thermometer should be in a drawer somewhere in there and if she is actually sick, she’ll take some medicine and go straight back to bed.”

“and if she isn’t?”

“y’h!” you slur, opening your eyes as wide as you could. “wh’if ‘m n’sick?”

“then we’ll make her breakfast and hope that her ‘sort of’ sickness doesn’t make her throw up.” sakura said, her lips pressed into a thin line. “and in the event that she does throw up, we’ll hope that she throws up on anywhere—the toilet would be more preferable but we both know she’s not going to make it there—but herself.”

“th’s hr’sh.” you mutter sulkily. “‘can to’ally m’ke ‘t t’th’toil’t.”

chaewon sighs in exasperation, though the amused smile on her lips gives her away. “yn, we have no idea what you’re saying.”

“hmph!”

(spoiler: you ended up kneeling in front of the toilet an hour or so later with kazuha holding your hair up and yunjin cooing in your ear. sakura and chaewon were busy cleaning up your throw up on the floor—thankfully tiled—while eunchae was in her room, having been sent away after nearly throwing up herself after seeing you throw up.)

masterlist.

[aettuddae]

hole in one. — 141. it'll be heaven.

⌕ synopsis: at one of the most prestigious universities in the country, where everyone is battling to be the center of attention, yu jimin is just a regular. people want her because of her beauty, but all she cares about is sharing her freaky stuff with her friends and passing her subjects. although there's one thing that might push her out of her comfort zone, revenge. when nakamura kazuha, one of the richest and most well-known students of NCU, starts to spread gossip about her for thousands of followers to see, jimin decides to get back by taking away the thing kazuha cares about the most: her perfect girlfriend, the young golf star, kwon haru.

masterlist | prev

[written chapter]

"guys, i ran out of battery on my phone." reported seungkwan from his seat.

"i told you to charge it before you left." reproached yunjin.

"i got distracted by leveling up in candy crush and forgot." defended the boy.

"how many students are there?" questioned minhyuk with an irritated tone. "i'm hungry."

"me too, i didn't have breakfast." shared juyeon.

"why didn't you have breakfast?" asked ningning.

"i didn't have time." explained the older keeping her eyes on the stage where students continued to pass by to receive their graduation diplomas. "minhyuk was supposed to go wake me up, but the bastard showed up fifteen minutes before we had to leave." she reminisced in frustration.

"at least i remembered to come get you." said the jock.

"no, it's okay, i already know you, i should have predicted it." dismissed.

"excuse me? we're all entitled to one last chance." he lashed out with mock offense.

"you never got anywhere early in your whole life, you're not starting now." replied eunseo.

"i can change..."

"... uchinaga aeri." the voice of an older teacher echoed through the auditorium where the graduation ceremony was taking place, grabbing the attention of the entire group of friends and thus interrupting their conversation.

"up, up!" commanded juyeon.

everyone stood up and began to applaud their friend as she was taking her diploma. haru, minhyuk and juyeon with their phones held high recording the whole process as if they were three proud parents, the last two even shouting some chants of pride and love to the japanese girl, who wanted to die of embarrassment and made countenances at them telling them to shut their mouths. they were genuinely happy for their best friend.

aeri received her certificate, had her picture taken with it and then proceeded to walk off the stage towards her spot again and let the event continue with the next students.

haru was in a good mood that day, of course she was. her best friend was graduating, and in the same class was the girl she loved, who she would finally have in the flesh next to her after agreeing that they were going to be fine. it was a good day.

the golfer followed giselle with her eyes until she was in her chair, and then she tried to locate jimin among her classmates, but it was such a large group that even if she tried to look for them alphabetically, she wasn't being able to find her.

as her eyes wandered around the place in search of her favorite human, she came across someone she hadn't expected to see at all,

nakamura kazuha.

the girl was standing next to an empty seat, presumably hers, at the edge of the small aisle that formed between the student area and the guest's, trying to get a better view of the proceedings.

it had been almost as long since she had last seen kazuha as it had been since she had seen karina before the wedding, so the girl was a particular sighting, to say the least.

kazuha was still living in seoul and playing golf at the rottary club, as usual. the last kwon had heard, she had joined a professional team.

kazuha possibly felt the watchful eye on her, as she turned to look for the reason why she felt observed, finding her ex with a dumbfounded and slightly goofy expression. as they made eye contact, they both gave each other a shy smile and the younger girl raised her hand, waving it and greeting haru.

the sudden feeling of familiarity came over her, and the eldest began to walk past her friends until she could step out of the small place where their seats were and approach the girl.

"hey." greeted her, somewhat hesitantly.

"hey." returned the chestnut with a big smile on her face.

"hey." repeated letting out a nervous giggle, then looking to the side and giving a nod to sakura and eunchae, the japanese girl's mates, who were accompanying her.

"i didn't imagine you'd come over." she shrugged.

"how can i not approach when i haven't seen you in years?" she settled in next to her, both of them with their eyes towards the scenario.

"well, it's not like we were splendidly two years ago." she remarked. "how have you been?" she wondered looking sideways at her.

"bad," kwon went silent, contemplating her answer, eliciting a frown of concern from the girl. "but i'm fine now." she assured her.

"are you sure?" she put her hand on her back to show reassurance. "what happened?"

"don't worry, i'm serious." she nodded her head, reinforcing her words. "i don't know if you know i moved..."

"of course i know, haru." she cut in, her tone carrying a hint of sadness.

"well, it was the moving, the new town," it was obvious she wasn't going to mention the main reason for her pain to her former girlfriend. "i couldn't play golf for a long time." she added, downplaying her words. "you know, it was hard." she concluded. "but i'm fine now, really, how have you been?" she rested her gaze on her, expectant for an answer.

"i've been fine." she assured calmly, removing her touch from haru's body. "i'm on a team, my teammates are good, they are talented. we will prepare to participate in the championship next year." she said defiantly.

"oh, then we'll be rivals." she cocked her head confidently and stretched out her hand for kazuha to shake. "may the best one win."

"you say that because you're the best." she narrowed her eyes, judging her. "and aside from golf..." she folded her arms, thinking. "i don't know, not much has happened." she sighed not knowing what to tell. "i graduated last week." she commented. "you didn't come." chastised kazuha, as an innocent comment.

"sorry." haru lowered her head, an ashamed smile on her lips. "you went to mine even when we had been broken up for months, i should have go since i was in town."

"don't worry, haru, just kidding." she gave her a gentle nudge with her elbow. "you didn't have to come." she understood. "it's enough that you came over to talk to me now." she brought her hand to the back of her neck and squeezed from both sides playfully to comfort her, causing them both to laugh. "you came to see aeri?" she changed topics, returning to the situation they were in.

"yes, obviously, we all came." she took a glance at where her friend was sitting. "and well, jimin too." she admitted, feeling out the younger girl's reaction.

"oh." her mouth hung slightly open and her eyebrows raised as she processed what she had just been told. "so, you two...?" she raised her index finger to point at her, then wagged it around as if trying to finish her sentence with her gestures.

"it's complicated." she sentenced. "we met again recently." she didn't want to give away too much information.

"sure." she took a moment. "i hope you two do well." she encouraged, seemingly sincere.

"thank you, zuha."

"tell her that..." she took a big breath of air, gathering courage to let her pride go. "that i'm so sorry."

both pairs of eyes met for the first time in the entire talk, and haru saw in her a glimmer of the kazuha she once loved. a kazuha who could become tender and sensitive, a kazuha only she seemed to have known.

"i know it's not going to change anything." her hands danced in the air illustrating her attempt to explain herself. "or maybe after all this time it doesn't matter anymore." she closed her eyes for a second, recomposing herself. "but if you can, and want, tell her i'm really sorry." she lifted her eyelids, letting her guard down.

"i will."

haru felt something inside her stir, the memories. seeing kazuha in that place felt surreal to her, but apart from that talking to her brought back a feeling that mixed both the familiar and the unfamiliar. she could never hate her, after all, haru had always been one of the few people who couldn't do that at all. seeing her there, being a bit of who she once was, blinded something in her brain, and her first instinct was to lean in and hug her.

"it's good to see you." she whispered, her chin resting lightly on her shoulder. "and it's good to hear you're sorry." she moved her hand along her back.

"i want to apologize to you too, haru." at that moment, she finally dared to raise her arms and reciprocate the woman's gesture. "sorry for ruining that nice thing we had." her voice sounded a little shaky.

"i don't need you to apologize to me." she shook her head even if the girl wouldn't see it. "i chose long ago to keep only the good parts of your time in my life."

the older girl stood up straight, breaking the hold they had on each other. she arranged her locks behind her ears and connected their gazes, which were flooded with nostalgia and affection. between the two of them, there was no more romance, but there would always remain the deep adoration you have for someone who was once your confidante and security.

"... yu jimin." this time it was a female professor's voice that announced the name, interrupting the moment. again kwon had not heard the introduction.

"oh shit." exclaimed kazuha in surprise. "your girlfriend." she centered her focus on the student body area. "go!" she put her hands on her arm and began to push her back into her seat.

"kazuha, it was good to see you-"

"yeah, yeah, we'll meet again when we compete, now go, jimin is graduating." she didn't let her finish, rushing her.

"wow, you've changed."

"go!" she insisted, ending in both of them letting out a few laughs at the interaction and haru returning to her seat.

the athlete took out her cellphone as she had done with aeri, and pointed it at jimin, who was walking up to the stage. with great joy on her face she took a few photos of her as she received her diploma, then locked the device and put it away so she could applaud her and watch her personally.

when karina stood for her picture with the certificate that she had finished her studies, by coincidence, or a bit because she was looking for it, she found haru in the audience, and couldn't help but stop and admire her as she was happy for her. so in the final image she was not even looking at the camera, but to the side, full of love.

the ceremony was over and the group of friends had ventured out in search of the new graduates, parting in each other's close circle.

minhyuk, eunseo and haru were with giselle and her parents, showering the girl with hugs, affection, congratulations, and taking pictures of her. each one posed with her individually for the camera, and then they did it all together, then with the parents. they would have enough documentation of that moment to fill an album so they would have to forget the picture they had taken of her earlier where she was begging her friends to keep quiet.

minhyuk even cried, claiming he couldn't believe that the youngest of the group had already finished her college years. they had met when they were just teenagers, and now they all had degrees and their futures planned.

jimin was first greeted by her family, who warmly congratulated her on her achievement, and then her friends arrived, who, of course, started a magazine-worthy photo session in the middle of the auditorium. seungkwan even lifted up ningning, who was holding a phone with the flashlight on, in order to properly illuminate the picture that winter was taking of yunjin and jimin.

after, they became involved in a hyped conversation, but the girl could not stop diverting her interest to the group surrounding the uchinagas.

she had already been welcomed and showered with compliments for what she had accomplished, she just wanted to run to haru and have her close finally. but over there, they kept crying and hugging each other sentimentally.

it was while her loved ones were talking about the different job offers karina had on the table for her future, that she turned to see what was going on in the other gathering of people and noticed a bored haru, as they were not doing anything in particular, she was distracted scanning what was going on in her surroundings.

she took the opportunity as her own and excitedly ran towards the oldest, who noticed her approaching her euphorically and opened her arms waiting. jimin's body crashed into haru's, with enough intensity that the latter slightly lost her balance and had to take a few steps backward, dragging yu.

"how is my favorite graduate?"

she wrapped her arms around jimin, with one holding her body tightly and one hand wandering through her hair subtly. the younger clinging to her waist as if there was a hurricane around and the girl was the only thing she could hold on to.

"actually, that offended me." giselle's voice was heard from behind.

"you're my favorite too." she detached her hand from the blackhaired's back to point her finger at her friend.

"you can't have two favorites." aeri held her waist and brought all her weight to one leg as she judged with her gaze.

"later you discuss it." karina made a rambunctious gesture indicating for them to be quiet. "hello." she whispered, as she pressed her forehead together with the haru's.

"hello." she replied in the same volume, just for her to hear, showing all her teeth from the joy she felt. "i'm so proud of you, princess."

"thank you, baby." they stared at each other stupidly for a few moments. "i missed you." she added, finally being able to say it to her face.

"i missed you too." she lifted herself up a little, getting to the height to leave a delicate kiss on her nose. "you look good." she exclaimed in amusement taking a few steps back so she could observe her full body, their hands enlaced.

"don't i?" she took one foot off the ground giving a short hop and cocked her head to one side with a cheeky expression. "i'm the most adorable economist." she ran her hair making it fly back, continuing the joke.

haru's smile spread even wider and her eyes, or what could be seen from between those cavities that formed moons as they narrowed, sparkled as they followed karina. the girl could no longer contain the wave of beautiful emotions beating against her chest, and she walked briskly to catch the younger girl again and lift her into the air, spinning around, accompanied by her giggles.

the golfer slowly stopped, but before she set her down, jimin took the chance to use the hold on her neck and the closeness to her ear to murmur to her, in a tone that mixed melancholy and absolute happiness: "being like this with you seems like a dream."

"don't worry." she released the girl once her feet were on the ground. "it's not." she caressed her cheek tenderly. "i'm really here, and i'm happy to be." she reassured, comforting the girl.

jimin stopped to admire her. even with her words, she found it hard to understand that she was real. she felt like it was an angel in front of her. she loved her, in such an overwhelming way that jimin thought it escaped from her heart and took over her whole body, leaving no room for her blood, organs or veins. she loved her with all that she was.

"come!" the younger girl exclaimed abruptly after remembering something, startling the sportswoman with her sudden change of attitude. she took her hand and then started walking quickly.

they approached where jimin's acquaintances were standing, stopping short in front of them. haru felt a little shy since she had never met the girl's parents. off to the side, her friends watched the scene proudly, after all they had accompanied her through in those two years.

"mom, dad, this is my girlfriend." she held out her hand to the girl, who bowed as a greeting of respect to the elders, but looked a little puzzled. seeing her reaction, yu realized the label she had used and felt nervous. "my thing." that wasn't good either. "my haru." she corrected herself. "this is haru."

"so you are haru..." the man said, taking in the person in front of him.

"the golfer!" the lady recalled.

"that's what people know me for." agreed kwon, extending her hand to the couple.

"jimin used to make us watch your matches when she was at home." commented the father, causing the named one to cover her embarrassed face. "you know, i really like golf too..."

to no one's surprise, everyone got along well. haru was incredibly likeable after all, and it filled jimin's soul to see the most important people in her life excitedly engaged in conversation.

a few minutes later, giselle approached them to remind that they were all going to eat at a restaurant later to celebrate. there was a reception for all the graduates, but they preferred to go with their best friends.

they had been there for at least two hours, but they had only started eating. although everyone had been drinking and chatting since they arrived.

it was amazing how the two groups had found each other and managed to get along, despite the things that had happened between them.

at one end of the table were seungkwan and minhyuk, the latter had his arm around the back of the other's chair, wrapping it around him. they were distracted in a debate about whether fries tasted better with ketchup or cheese, and it was endearing to see how the chef never stopped laughing at anything that came out of his boyfriend's mouth, while the golfer gets fascinated listening to the things he told. they had a nice relationship, they understood each other in humor, and had similar tastes, they were boyfriends and friends at the same time.

the rest of the girls were sitting one on each side, across the table. it wasn't an abysmal distance, but they were still carrying on an almost shouting conversation, laughing uproariously, with eunseo leading the chatter they were engaged in, which was largely gossip. to one side of the oldest redhead, minjeong was quiet and smiling, drinking her beer and stealing loving glances at her now wife.

and in one corner, haru and karina were in their chairs next to each other. the older one's hand rested comfortably on the graduate's leg, who was brushing her fingers along the other's body in search of contact. both were attentively listening to what the others were saying and would let out a giggle when someone made a funny comment. sometimes starting short exchanges of words only between them, but mostly just enjoying the moment.

juyeon was trying to explain something to yunjin, who was looking at the others with bewilderment as she didn't understand what she was hearing. the girl's expression was funny to her friends, even to jimin, who burst out laughing when she saw her and leaned on haru for support. once it passed, she stayed in that position, with her head on the golfer's shoulder, and after a moment, she wrapped the arm that the girl had holding her with her own, clinging completely to her.

"i love you." said the blackhaired, leaving a kiss on haru's cheek.

"i love you." she reciprocated, turning her head so she could look at her face.

"sorry for introducing you as my girlfriend to my parents today." she casually mentioned.

"no worries, i guess i will be at some point anyway." she shrugged with plenty of attitude.

"oh? so that's how you think..." she gave her a playful pinch. "if so, then why aren't you right now?" she bit her lip expectantly, embarrassed that her heart was pounding at the inquisitions of what she had said.

"you haven't asked me yet." haru explained without giving it much thought and then leaned over to pick up her glass and take a swig of her drink.

"do i have to ask you? i was waiting for you to ask me." she pointed a finger at herself.

"no, clearly you have to ask me." she sipped again, looking defiantly at her over the glass.

"would you be my girlfriend?" karina asked hurriedly, so fast the words were barely understood. her eyes painted with anticipation.

"you're asking me here? with minhyuk present?" she exclaimed ironically.

"what did i do now?" questioned the boy across the table.

"you don't care." the girl dismissed him without even turning to look at him, getting him to throw his hands up in the air in disbelief.

"you must have done something." eunseo accused him, triggering one of their silly arguments.

"come with me." jimin got up from her seat and started walking. haru obeyed and went after her.

"where are you going?" the sportsman vociferated.

"you don't care." repeated her best friend.

"kwon haru, i'm not liking your antics!" he complained offended.

the two girls continued on their way, jimin sure of where she was leading and haru, a little lost, behind her. they arrived at an almost completely unoccupied side of the restaurant, from the main hall of the place you couldn't see clearly and there were few tables, at the end of it, a double glass door that the now economist opened to pass through, the one who was following her also passing by it.

behind it, there was a rather small backyard, which was blocked by trees and bushes. beyond the decorative forestation, there was a concrete wall that could not even be seen among so many leaves and trunks. lights hung from the tops and branches, and there was even a small bench on one side. haru presumed that this place was specially designed for smokers, but at that moment it was empty.

"how did you find this place?" kwon inquired, her eyes on the small lamps above her.

"when i went to the bathroom i got the wrong direction and ended up here." she laughed shyly.

"it's pretty." she lowered her eyes, turning back to jimin.

"like you." she returned witty.

"and you." she added roguishly. "and you brought me here to...?" she raised an eyebrow mischievously.

"kwon haru," she put her hands behind her back, feet together and puffed out her chest, pretending to look like a prince about to make an announcement. "would you do me the honor..."

she paused to search her pockets for something, observe her fingers, and then surveyed her surroundings. she dropped her gaze to the ground, turning only with her upper body so that she could analyze behind her back. she leaned over and held a cigarette butt between her fingers, then extended it toward haru.

"is it antiromantic if i ask you to be my girlfriend with a cigarette butt?" she pouted. "i don't have a ring to give you."

"wait." haru was now the one digging through every crevice of her clothes looking for something that would work. she picked up her wallet and checked it. "is it any use proposing to me with a bill?"

"that's even less romantic than the cigarette." she dropped her arms on either side of her body listlessly.

"a picture of my mom?"

"haru."

"my id?" she continued without stopping checking.

"put that down, put that down." she approached her and pushed down the girl's hands holding her billfold.

"i didn't find anything either, sorry." she put the object away and made a regretful grimace.

"would you like to be my girlfriend?" she said again, unexpectedly.

"don't you need a ring, then?" the woman caught her face between her palms, creating an eye contact that exuded sweetness.

"i'll buy you one for our first anniversary." she promised, her voice soft, only dedicated to her. "and on the next one, and the one after that, and when i ask you to marry me." she held haru's waist. "although i'm so sure you're the love of my life that i might ask you to marry me before any anniversary."

"one step at a time, princess, we're here now." stopped the older one, laughing adoringly at such ideas.

"be my girlfriend." she asked again. "i love you, i don't want to not have you by my side, and i swear i will never ever again do anything to take you away from me. my place is with you."

"of course i will be your girlfriend." haru accepted.

upon hearing the answer, karina bounced on her feet on the spot because of the exhilaration that exploded inside her. she fleetingly pulled the girl from the back of her neck so they could join in a kiss to seal the pact.

it was the first kiss they had shared in two years that carried no pain behind it. all it brought was new beginnings and love. it was safety, and light. the promise that from now on, they both had a place to return to and a refuge for when everything got rough.

jimin's lips caressed haru's with affability, taking the exchange calmly, wanting to express all the stunning chaos she unleashed within herself through that gesture. the opposite held her figure gently, holding her as close to herself as possible as if trying to keep her from leaving again.

they broke the union carefully, still remaining over each other, their noses touching, their lips no more than an inch apart, "haru, let's move to busan." she suggested suddenly.

"what?" she frowned in surprise after hearing what the younger girl had just said.

"or come back to seoul." she added without thinking about what she was saying. she didn't have to as it had been on her mind for days.

"what are you talking about?" she let the girl go and walked a bit away.

"or i can move to incheon." she continued.

"wow, stop right there." she pointed her finger at her signaling to calm down. "what?" she reiterated.

"is that," she gulped in a breath of air, her grimace turning desperate. "you don't live here." she burst the bubble. "and i know we've been avoiding the subject voluntarily, but in two days you go back home, and then we'll be apart again." she began biting her nails.

haru was silent. she knew that what karina was telling her was the inevitable reality, and that they would soon have to part ways one more time, but she had chosen not to worry about it and somehow managed to forget.

"haru, i love you." she affirmed again. "and i'm tired of losing you, so if you tell me that in incheon you're happy, i wouldn't hesitate for a second to move there so i could be with you." she was sure of what she was saying. "but tell me the truth, is incheon for you? do you live the life you want there?"

the golfer knew she didn't. she had two friends in that city, one of whom was juyeon. she played on a team with people she didn't care about. she didn't feel full on her drive in the mornings to go to her training, she didn't even go for a walk in the streets like she often used to do in seoul.

what was there in Incheon for her? what was there in incheon that was hers?

she left seoul because it generated sadness in her, but if she had to be honest, thinking about incheon also made her feel miserable.

"busan?" she blurted out hesitantly after a moment in silence.

"weren't we happy when we were in busan?"

yes. the answer was clearly yes. depending on how you wanted to look at it, it was the place where it all started. where they admitted they felt things for each other and gave those emotions a place to be explored. despite being surrounded by people, it had felt like only they had been there. together. their own universe.

"just you and me?" she hesitated.

"well, we can take juyeon if you want, but she won't live with us." she said jokingly. "oh, and a cat." she finished seriously.

"you, me and a cat?" a smile began to tug at the corner of her mouth.

"what do you say?" she inquired hopefully, unable to hide that she was already excited.

"busan." she shook her head up and down, saying yes. "you and me."

karina let out the highest pitched squeal she had ever projected in her life, she ran towards haru almost as if flying, not even noticing how she came to be held to her girlfriend like a koala bear, her legs clinging to her waist, haru holding her tightly, contentment present in every part of their beings.

"and a cat." she stated again.

"yes, my princess, us and a cat." she guaranteed.

"and we will never separate again." jimin pulled away a little so she could look into her eyes.

"never." haru backed up her words, then moved closer and joined in a kiss.

— the end.

#

[a/n: thanks to everyone who read, 141 chapters wouldn't have happened without the support this story had. ♡]

(!)

— taglist: @runawaymazola @chaenniefirst @livelaughchoerry @rinapomu @jeindall777 @petruchiosstuff @sewiouslyz @yvesismywife @vvyuqi @aeriniee @chaewoni3

[chigirisprincess]

⠀ ︶︶ 　 ˚ ᡴꪫ Is it Casual Now?

⊹ Details. 18+ minors dni, gn!afab!reader, unhealthy relationship with your ex, slightly toxic and ooc kazuha, ex sex, jealousy, miscommunication, reader and kazuha are bad for each other, dubious consent due to alcohol consumption, fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, all hurt no comfort, ill time loved confessions. ⊹ Run time. 6.6k ⊹ Note. This has been rotting in my drafts since january so enjoy! <3

The frigid evening air prickles your skin as you push through the throngs of sweat dabbled bodies toward the backdoor. Beneath your boot clad feet, the worn wood of the porch groans in agony as you shuffle onto it. You vaguely register the frantic call of your name before the door slips shut behind you. It must have been one of your friends, the ones who dragged you away from your laptop and insisted that you spend some time outside your bedroom. 

A gust of cold air ripples through your blouse, leaving a trail of raised flesh in its wake but you don’t have it in you to shiver in response.

The weight which presses down upon your chest dulls any other sensations, numbing you to the chill and  wet drizzle that seeps through the stagnant air. A sigh passes your lips as you plop down to sit on the stairs that lead out to the backyard. The slick layer of days past rain soaks into your jeans from the porch wood.

Slipping your phone out from your back pocket, you slide your thumb upward until the blank screen lights up. Two smiling faces look back at you in mockery, reminding you that while you sat alone, submerged in the dark of night, he was inside with his arm wrapped around someone else. Scoffing at your phone, the thought to toss it into the abyss that was a stranger's backyard crosses your mind. Tucking it between your thighs, you squash the urge before your ill conceived judgement gets the better and you condemn yourself to an evening of searching fruitlessly in the dark.

Jealousy bubbles in your stomach, uncomfortably stirring inside you the longer you sit in silence. 

Your phone vibrates and with a wet sniff, you have half a mind to check it. 

It’s him.

You don’t have to look to know that it’s him, texting you in earnest after your disappearing act. Guilt makes its home alongside the jealousy. You’re lucky you don’t keel over and die with the weight of discomfort that crushes your windpipe. It was supposed to be easy, casual even. There was nothing casual about the tinge of red that coated your vision as your gaze swept across the living room and landed onto your very comfortably perched ex boyfriend. You supposed this was your punishment for believing that the two of you could remain friends after your very amicable breakup.

Though, you never considered that one day, Kazuha Kaedehara would no longer be yours. It was a rather startling realisation that being broken up meant the tether which bound the two of you together would eventually fray. It was inevitable. The visits with your family would end, he’d stop coming over late at night to join you as you walked your dog, Tofu, and the amount of hour-long phone calls would dwindle to a text once a year on your birthday. It’d be weird otherwise to be tethered to another yet so entangled with a past lover. Most of your friends already considered it strange, how close you and he remained, it would just be bizarre if he moved on whilst you remained stranded at an impasse of whether or not you still loved him. Of course, you did. You loved him the way you loved your very best friends. That would never change, it couldn’t. Kazuha was far too endearing a man to ever be incapable of loving, but, did you love him the same way you did before?

You think you might.

You might have still been in love with him.

But, that was unfair.

The breakup was as amicable as breakups can be. You were in different places in life– Kazuha was too much of a free spirit, and you were too firmly rooted in the garden you planted your dreams in. Things shouldn’t have worked for as long as they did, you were both grateful that they did but you both knew you were better off as friends. So why, did you feel as though your guts were to spill across the back porch the longer you thought of him and her. 

Casual, your friendship was supposed to be casual. 

That was the promise you and he made to one another. It was rather laughable to think either you or he could do casual. Even without the mountain of history between you, there was nothing you despised more than casual. You wanted all or nothing. And Kazuha liked devotion. He was hopelessly devoted to you and only you. Casual was not a word in either of your vocabularies. But he told you that he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it, so you promised. No attachments, no emotions, no romance, none of the things that made a relationship complicated.

And those rare nights where you and he caved into your carnal desires? Well, by morning you’d wipe the memories of skin rubbing against skin in the blanket of night where it belonged. Sex with your ex wasn’t casual. Kissing your ex like your very existence depended on the passage of air between you and he, surely wasn’t either.

Tossing your head back, you release a curse towards the sky. The moon in its omnipotent glory mockingly gleams back at you in silence. Reminding you that this web which twisted around your heart was of your own design. 

“Stupid,” you murmur, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes, “I am so stupid.”

“And just what makes you say that?”

Stifling the urge to turn around, your shoulders slump at the voice you know all too well.

“I thought we agreed you weren’t allowed to talk down to yourself,” Kazuha says, slipping into the space next to you. His knees knock against yours as he settles on the staircase,“So what’s going on? Why’d you disappear, did something happen?”

The concern that laces his voice makes you nauseous. You didn’t feel like you deserved it.

Your finger nails dig into the splintering wood of the porch, “I just needed some air, it was getting stuffy in there,” you shrug your shoulders in nonchalance as if it would banish the rigidity that forced your body stiff, “I’m fine, seriously, you should go back inside. Wouldn’t want anyone to miss you.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Kazuha laughs a bit to disguise his confusion.

“You hate the cold,” he states, turning to look at you, “You hate it even more than you hate the dark, so why should I believe that you’d willingly come sit out here alone in the cold, dark, night.”

Between his nimble fingers sits a clear plastic cup. It’s filled to the brim with ice and something pink coloured. If you had to guess it was strawberry lemonade, your favourite. Kazuha nudges your elbow with his, offering the cup to you. Wordlessly you take it, swirling it around before taking a small sip and offering him a smile of thanks.

The juice is tangy on your tongue, a bit too bitter than you typically preferred but it's easier to gulp down the lemonade than to explain your irrationality. The frosty condensation numbs your fingers but if you put the cup down you’d forget it later. Staring into the remaining drops of lemonade and melting ice cubes you will your demeanour to be as cool as your beverage. It’s quite the lame attempt. You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve, even if Kazuha didn’t know you at all, he’d still be able to read each delicate emotion that crossed your face.

Shrugging your shoulders, you steel your gaze on the sway branches of the tree across the yard, “Yoimiya, Hu Tao, and Xinyan forced me to come out tonight,” you say, allowing yourself a frown, “I’m tired and don’t want to be here, okay?”

You look over your shoulder, peering at Kazuha through your lashes. He remains unconvinced though he knows all too well of the moods you occasionally slipped into. Somehow able to deduce the root of your evasiveness by the way your lip quivers in shame, Kazuha releases a sigh. You don’t have to see his expression to know he’s disappointed. Sometimes you wish he didn’t care as much, that he could be the awful, evil, ex-boyfriend who treated you like garbage so that you could move on or maybe even hate him. Then, maybe lying to him didn’t have to feel like twisting a knife between your rib cage. 

“Grab your coat, I’ll drive you home,” he says, his voice soft and barely above a whisper, “I’ll tell your friends that I convinced you to leave so we could talk.”

His hand slips from his lap to rest on your knee, his fingers slipping into the small hole in your jeans to touch your bare skin with his. Giving your flesh a squeeze, Kazuha offers you a small smile.

“No thanks.”

Your fingers twitch against the porch, itching to move away his hand. You enjoy the warmth of his touch far more than you should. If you didn’t peel away from him soon, you’d lean in and accept his out, ignoring the stinging bile that lined your throat.

“You’ll be missed,” You stutter out, turning your body away from him, “ And I wouldn’t want to get in the way of you and your date.”

Kazuha cocks his head to the side, “Date? What are you talking about?” He questions, his face marred by confusion, “I came here with- Are you talking about Beidou?”

“If that's the name of the girl you were cosying up with on the sofa, then yes that’s who I’m talking about.”

Your elbow digs into the tender flesh of your thigh as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand, pouting like a petulant child. Kazuha laughs a bit, smacking his hand over his mouth with a guilty expression when your head whips around to stare at him. You blink in shock as he giggles behind his palm.

“Oh, so you think it’s funny?” You probe with a roll of your eyes, “Haha, I’m jealous!”

Pushing his hand away from your leg, you release a watery huff, “No, no …” he murmurs, shifting closer so he could cup your cheeks, “Don’t cry, I’m not laughing at you, it’s just …”

The sincerity in his vermillion eyes makes you feel worse. You feel the tears that quickly pooled in your eyes drip down your waterline and wet your cheeks. Kazuha’s calloused thumb is quick to brush them away. His hands warm the frigid skin of your face that’s nearly gone numb.

“Just what?” You whine, exasperated.

Kazuha chews on his bottom lip, appearing hesitant, “It’s just that … Not only is Beidou just a friend but … she’s a lesbian,” he winces, waiting for the groan of embarrassment that tears through your chest, “She gets extra affectionate when drunk and her girlfriend was in the bathroom so we cuddled a bit, platonically of course!”

Burrowing your face into your arms, you let out a garbled noise of distress.

“Gods, I’m so stupid!”

You feel his hand press against the small of your back, rubbing a smoothing circle into your skin, “You’re not stupid,” he says, shifting close enough for you to feel his breath blow across your lips, “Honestly, I think it was kinda cute how worked up you got.”

“Kazuha,” you say his name in warning.

He doesn’t retreat to offer you space or remove his hand. Wispy strands that have fallen from his ponytail tickle your face as he rests his chin atop your head. Being held in his embrace worsen the self loathing that churns in your gut but, what’s worse is the contentment that stirs within you the longer you allow Kazuha to comfort you.

“I didn’t mean anything by it!” he says in reassurance but there’s something laced between his words that tell you he isn’t being entirely truthful.

“It’s fine,” you huff, leaning into him, “Who wouldn’t relish knowing their ex was jealous while they moved on.”

Kazuha’s fingers snake under the fabric of your shirt, gently stroking your bare skin. You rest your hand on his thigh, your nails press into the seams as you use him to ground yourself. Casual, things with Kazuha were supposed to be casual. His lips brush the crown of your head in a quick kiss. Was this casual? Was seeking comfort and reassurance that you were still his one and only as inconsequential as you told yourself it was?  

“I don’t enjoy seeing you hurt, you know this.”

The way he tenderly says your name makes your heart pang painfully. You’re awash with shame as you bury your face into the crook of his neck. Goosebumps erupt across his skin when you press your frost bitten nose to the underside of his jaw.

“Let me take you home,” he pleads, his nails digging into your spine as if to support the urgency in his voice.

You don’t trust yourself to speak, “Okay,” you whisper, clamping your lips shut to keep anything more from spilling out between them.

Kazuha keeps his hand firmly planted on the small of your back as the two of you stand. The plastic solo cup falls from your lap into the dark abyss of the unlit backyard. He reaches down to grab your phone from the step you abandoned it on, sliding it into your back pocket– where you always keep it. Brushing your bangs away from your eyes, you suck in a shaky breath and allow yourself to be led around the house. The sickly fluorescent yellow streetlights cast ghoulish shadows that mock you with each staggered step you take.

His 2007 cherry red Honda Civic sits across the street, the metal gleaming beneath the light. You haven’t been in his car since he drove you home after you broke up with him. It was the one strange boundary you’d managed to uphold. You and he spent far too much time in that rust bucket. From late night trips to the beach, to hour long drives into the country for an afternoon picnic, his car held as much memory as your hair did. That’s why you chopped it off in an effort to feel better after you spiralled into a tizzy of regret– after a year it was just starting to grow back.  

The longer you stare, frozen in place with your feet glued to the sidewalk, you could almost see the image of you and him in the back seat. The glass foggy with a few hand prints here and there to further allude to what tangled the image of two bodies together. Turning your head to the side, you caught a glimpse into the house. The curtains were thrown open, the windows were cracked open to allow a sliver of crisp evening air inside. Beidou was still on the sofa, this time with a pretty blonde girl on her lap. Humiliation lapped at your heels, forcing you to turn back to the car.

“Ah, here we go!” Kazuha exclaimed, triumphantly holding up his car keys for you to see. It still sported the Pompurin keychain you gifted after your first month of dating. His car came to life with two clicks.

Forcing a tight smile to your lips, the two of you hurried across the street. 

Kazuha’s touch slipped from you as he rounded to the passenger to open the door for you. Tears sting the corner of your eyes and discomfort curls around you like a second skin. He held every door open for you and pulled out every seat, he said it was the gentlemanly thing to do. His grandfather always held the door for his grandmother, his father did the same for his mother. In his eyes, it was the little things that kept love alive. Though, a grand gesture here and there didn’t hurt. That’s why he was always writing poetry with you at the centre of it. 

Sliding into the seat, you quickly buckle yourself in. Your phone vibrates but you can’t bring yourself to check. It’d be far too mortifying to admit to your friends that you were going home with Kazuha, but you hated lying to them. They always wormed the truth out of you anyway. The car jostles as Kazuha shuts the door on his side, wasting no time in starting it up and fiddling with the controls. He opens your window less than a centimetre and turns the heat up high, just the way you like it. 

“Thanks,” you murmur, resting your head against the glass of the window.

Kazuha rests his right hand on your thigh, it’s second nature at this point despite how long it’s been since you’ve last shared this space. You say nothing, instead you wait quietly for him to grip the gear stick. It’s a relief when his attention is placed upon pulling out from the curb. He’s wedged between two cars and has to grip the back of your seat to get a good look at the car behind him. Your eyes trail up the length of his forearm without your permission. They drink in the swirling verdant ink that disappears beneath his rolled up sleeve and pensively peer at the flexing tendons beneath his skin.

Forcing your gaze to your lap, you pick at the loose threads that gather at the rips in your jeans. Idle hands and idle minds never lead to anything good. They were what led to you on his living room floor, your clothing scattered, and your skin flushed with the remnants of the empty bottle of pink whitney that lay discarded on the coffee table. Your face grows hot and even the gust of cool air can’t stop you from squeezing your thighs together to alleviate the growing need that festered in your belly. 

“How’s Tofu doing?” Kazuha asks, his eyes flickering to you as he pulls up to a stop sign, “He’s not missing his daddy too much is he?”

You hate the smile that tugs at your lips, “I’ve explained that you’re busy with work and you’re art, so I don’t think he’s missing you too much,” you remark, catching the slight roll of his eyes, “Samoyed’s are a smart breed, I’m certain he understood what I said!”

“And yet he still tries to chew on my shoes every time I come over.”

Kazuha laughs dryly with a shake of his head.

“I think he does that because you call yourself his daddy,” it feels easy to joke with him, too easy, to slip into a banter and forget the bundle of nerves that ate away at you. This was Kazuha, your Kazuha, even after all this time, he’d never hurt you, “You and I both know that Tofu’s favourite person is me!”

“Yeah, Yeah. I know.”

The car rolls to a stop in front of yet another sign. It lingers too long. You will yourself to take another peek at Kazuha. His head is lolled against the headrest. You think there’s a sense of longing in his eyes, a certain fondness reserved only for you. 

“You’re my favourite person too, I guess Tofu and I have that in common.”

You swallow thickly, forcing your gaze away from him. It’s too much to bear. The tender lilt of his that weaves between his words makes your heart flutter like the betrayer it is. 

“Don’t,” you whisper, “Just, stop it. Stop looking at me like that.”

His arm brushes against yours, he leans further over the centre consul. A few strands of his hair tickle your shoulder, when he sits this close you can smell the lingering scent of laundry detergent that clings to his clothes. It’s the one you bought for him. He even wears the cologne you like, the one he gave to you to keep for whenever you missed him.

The quick flash of high beams reflecting in the mirrors singeing your irises snaps you out of it. A car honks, urging Kazuha to keep driving. He offers an apologetic gesture to the other driver before lifting his foot from the brakes and slowly brambles away. The final stretch to your house is only a few minutes, soon your neighbour blurs into focus and you force yourself to figure out where your keys were. Patting your jeans, you search your shallow pockets. Your fingers curl around the My Melody keychain you attached to it. It matched Kazuha’s Pompurin, it was from the same blind bag series.

Your body careens forward as the car pulls to a stop in front of your house.

“Sorry!” Kazuha whispers, his skin pulled taunt over his tightened knuckles.

Flashing him a quick smile, you dismiss him with a wave of your hand, too intent on unbuckling yourself. Your feet haven’t quite caught up to your brain. Though you envision yourself quickly scurrying inside to drown your sorrows, your legs are as stiff and heavy as cement bricks. Kazuha taps his fingers along the steering wheel, his cheeks puffed out in discomfort. 

“Do you wanna come inside for a drink?” You blurt, your eyes focused ahead on the cluster of trees gathered near the end of the street, “It’s the least I can do to thank you for getting me home safely.”

“No thanks needed.”

Your name dribbles off his tongue like mulled wine; warm and rich with all the emotion he keeps loosely concealed.

“Still, you should come in.”

You’re unsure why you offer again, or why you even offered the first time.

“Okay,” he agrees, quickly patting your knee.

The two of you slowly shuffle out of his car, it beeps twice when he locks it. You front door looms menacingly in the distance, “I left Tofu with my parents,” you note, your keys jingle loudly as they dangle between your trembling finger tips, “I was thinking of staying at Yoimiya’s, didn’t want him to be home alone for that long.”

Kazuha presses his hand to the small of your back as he falls into step with you, ushering you closer to your porch.

“I’ll have to stop by another time to see him then.”

You nod in agreement.

Causal.

This was casual.

And good manners. It was only polite to invite someone over to offer your thanks after they’ve done you a favour, that’s what your parents taught you.

A shiver trails down your spine at how utterly routine this display of domestic normalcy is. You toe off your shoes near the door, so does he. When you hang your keys on the hooks near your coat rack, he does the same as if he was coming home rather than visiting. It used to be his home too but it was easy to forget that you once shared space with him.

“I have a new bottle of sake,” you suggest as your sock covered feet carry you over to your kitchen.

The sage green cabinets you fling open was your first ever DIY project that you and Kazuha spent a month perfecting. The gold sun and moon knobs were beginning to tarnish. The image felt oddly apt as you pluck the set of sake cups Kazuha gifted you. They were a matching, hand painted set. He preferred the prussian blue while you favoured the ochre yellow. 

Kazuha pilfers through the fridge the moment you pluck out cups and present them to him with a flourish. You leave him to his own devices in favour of settling down in your living room. Flicking on your faux fireplace, you anxiously sink into the carpeted floor. The warm burst of air that comes from the heater settles your nerves. 

“Daiginjo?” Kazuha questions, you can see his head falling to the side in a tilt as he examines the bottle, “Haven’t had this in a while.”

You can’t remember why you bought it. The past few weeks have blurred together, you’re not sure when you had visited the liquor store. You must have been subconsciously missing Kazuha. Searching him out wherever you could, even if it meant buying his favourite kind of wine knowing you had no reason to drink it.

“You can take the rest home with you,” Kazuha’s knees brush against yours as he settles onto the floor next to you, “Consider it my thanks.”

Though he doesn’t chide you, Kazuha sends you a pointed look as he cracks open the bottle. Digging your nails into your carpet, you unabashedly stare as he takes his first sip. It’s slow– to savour the taste. His throat bobs when he swallows. You swallow too. Kazuha has always been good at savouring the taste and taking his time. His tongue darts out to lap up any wine that dibbled past the flat lip of the cup. A guttural groan sticks to the back of your throat, covering it with a cough, you down your cup of sake as if it were a shot of cheap tequila hastily poured into a plastic shot glass at a house party. You don’t wince as it burns. The sharp edge wakes you right up before the comforting warmth pulls you deeper into fantasy. 

Kazuha pinches his brows together, “Have you already forgotten? Sake is supposed to be sipped.”

He speaks slowly and with the same stern lilt that he uses with his kindergarteners. Taking his cup, he presses it against your bottom lip. Slowly, he tilts the cup until a small dribble of wine hits your tongue. You wordlessly swallow it, blinking a bit as you search for something to say. Nothing in your rolodex of conversation starters seems suitable. Not with how your heart races like a gazelles after a close encounter with a much larger beast. Smoothing his thumb over the corner of your mouth, Kazuha cleans up whatever you didn’t swallow. You feel some of your lipstick smudging as he does so. You can see it on his thumb before he wraps his lips around the appendage.

“Kazuha …”

Tangling your fingers into your carpet, you try to focus on the pain of your nails awkwardly bending out of shape.

“Yes?”

“I-”

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately,” Kazuha smoothly cuts you off as if senses your lose for words, “Even penned a couple new poems about you.” 

You don’t have to look at him to know he’s sliding his phone from his pocket to open up his notes app. Forcing your gaze over to your fireplace, you sigh, “This was a bad idea.”

Kazuha blinks in a pretty display of confusion. His long, thick lashes brush the tops of his cheeks as he peers at you from beneath his messy fringe. He tilts his phone screen towards you in a display of faux discretion, there's about a dozen poems with your name attached to him on his screen.

“Having another drink?” He asks though he knows exactly what you meant, “I’m inclined to agree with you but, I’ll sober up soon enough. So will you.”

“That’s not … That’s not what I meant,” you whisper, “You know what I meant, Kazuha.”

“I don’t get what you mean?”

Resting his cup on the coffee table, Kazuha watches you with an intensity that makes you squirm.

“We broke up for a reason, Kazuha,” you mutter, fixing your gaze on the mantle. There's a photo of you and Kazuha, your stomach rolls in discomfort, “We really should stop meeting like this.”

Resting his elbow on the coffee table behind him, Kazuha purses his lips, “So, do you want us to stop being friends?” He questions, his voice giving away how absurd he seemed to think you were being, “Or, do you want us to stop having sex?”

Both.

It was both.

Even if you stopped having sex, you’d still feel tethered to him. You still felt like his heart belonged between the palms of your hands, gently cradled and possessed– away from itching, nimble fingers that would shred it to bits. But, he wasn’t yours. Not your lover, not your play thing, and certainly not some possession for you to hoard like the greedy dragon you were. He was free to do whatever he pleased. The sooner you both realised it, the better it would be. 

“I don’t know.”

You turn to him, your nerves set ablaze beneath your skin, popping like livewire as you sink your fingers into the flesh of his thighs. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, gnawing away at the skin as you peer at Kazuha. He regards you with little apprehension. Rather, preening under your attention. His ruby colour eyes burn holes into your skin as he stares at you unabashedly, the flesh of his cheeks warmed by the sake. The urge to look away tugs at the sides of your skull as you remain firmly pinned beneath his gaze. A moan of discomfort flies past your lips. Your guilt’s begun to claw at your oesophagus and wishes to spill forth onto your carpet.

“We should get back together then,” he says, with a sly smile, “If you can’t decide what it is that you want.”

You find yourself nodding. The tension that lives in your jaw falls slack and your shoulders slump. It’s not the comforting warmth of sake or even the maroon light spilling onto your skin from your fireplace that answers for you. It was that selfish, pesky little string that kept you and him bound to one another.

“Okay,” you say, leaning closer until your breath begins to linger with his.

This is how it always went.

Your cold feet scared you. The thought of losing him in totality was frightening, far more than the bubble of jealousy that threatened to pop every now and then.

Slipping your hand around the slope of his neck, you brushed your lips against his. Kazuha chuckles beneath his breath, the tip of his nose bumping against yours as he captures your mouth in a kiss. Sake and whatever devilish concoction he’d been sipping on throughout the night lingers on his tongue. It’s sharp and biting. It opposes the inviting embrace you find yourself stumbling into. Kazuha’s hands are laid flat against your sternum, his fingers delicately pressing into your neck.

“So, you’ll be mine?” he asks, between open mouthed pecks to your lips, “Can you tell me you’re mine? I missed hearing you say it.”

Wanting rolls through your stomach, “I’m yours,” you croak, “All yours, only yours.”

“I’ve missed you, baby.”

He nips your bottom lip, tugging on the chapped flesh before planting a quick peck.

“I’m all yours too, you’re the only one for me.”

Kazuha places a lingering kiss on the apples of your cheek, slowly moving from right to left. His hair tickles your face from where it hangs in his eyes. His nose bumps against yours before Kazuha decides to nuzzle it against you. The affection makes your stomach flutter. It wants more, your skin craves more. It practically screams for Kazuha to give you more, to kiss you everywhere. His breath heaves as he giggles, he all but pinches your cheeks.

“You really are so cute,” Kazuha pronounces, his mouth brushing against yours, greedily invading your space, “You know that?”

Slipping your hands beneath the hem of his shirt with a whine, you bury your face in his neck, “Shut up,” you moan, pressing your frigid fingers into his balmy skin, “Just, stop talking and kiss me.”

He kisses the crown of your head and then your forehead before drifting down to your ear. His teeth graze against the flesh as he nips at the lobe. You shiver against his sturdy frame, burrowing further into his arms in need. 

“Here?”

Kazuha whispers against the shell of your ear.

A small noise of discomfort sticks to your lips. He dips his head down, his mouth hot against your neck.

“Here?”

You shake your head. Taking his hand in yours, you slide it down your body and settle it between your legs. You can hardly feel him through the thick material of your jeans. Kazuha presses his thumb along the seam until it’s pulled taut against your cunt. Rocking your hips into his touch, you fumble around with your jeans until the top button flicks open. 

“You’re closer,” you pant, guiding his hand to your waist band, “Touch me here.”

Kazuha grins, his nose nudging against the underside of your jaw. You tremble in anticipation, biting your lip to hold back the harried noise of want that gurgles up your throat and threatens to spill your guts all over your carpet. Skin sliding against skin makes your head spin pathetically. It enraptures your pitiful heart that silently cries for more. His fingertips slip beneath the band of your underwear and carefully graze the unruly thatch of curls that lead down to your cunt.

“Like this?” He asks, though he knows the answer.

He knows your body as well as he knows his. He knows what makes you tick and what makes you keen for more. He doesn’t have to ask if it feels good or how you want it but he does it anyway. You’d never call him smug but you think it lives inside him, burrowed deep down behind his sweet, docile, vermillion eyes, a smugness that enjoys watching you struggle to answer him.

Dipping down to collect some of your arousal, Kazuha uses it to help guide his fingers around your throbbing clit. His fingers are pushed firmly against the bud, drawing tight circles that have you whimpering into his neck. Pleasure thrums through you as he strums your strings with ease. 

“Yes,” you moan, clutching the back of his neck. Most of his hair has escaped his ponytail and is entangled in your grasp. You nails bite into the back of his neck and tug on the root of his ashy blond hair as you grit out a quick, curse.

The throaty groans Kazuha lets reverberates against your ear lobe, “You’re so pretty,” he croons, adoration bleeding into his drawn out syllables, “So pretty, just for me.”

“Only for you.”

It’s been a month since you last hooked up with him. A month since the last time you came. Toys were a bleak substitute for the warm brush of desire between two people and the sweet sounds Kazuha made. You were left high and dry between the months you caved in to him and the months you kept yourself burrowed away. It builds quickly, embarrassingly so. But, he’s struck all the right chords to make you sing for him. Softly, as you cling to his shoulders and neck, your nails biting into his soft flesh. 

You come undone with a startling quickness that fills you with a shy flush. Your chest heaving as a shudder wracks through your feeble body, “Kazuha,” you whine, your jaw nearly locking from how tightly it’s clenched.

Kazuha makes a show of peeling his hand out from your soiled underwear and slipping his fingers into his mouth with a moan.

“Always tastes so good,” he hums, his pink tongue lolling around his digits, “I want more, can I eat you out, honey?”

His forehead knocks against yours as he leans into you, “Yes,” you breathe with a shudder.

You lay flat against the carpeted floor without his asking. The fluid motion of your bodies moving in time with one another is yet another reminder of how much history occupies the space between you. Kazuha’s ravenous grasp swiftly peels your jeans and underwear from your body before you’ve blinked. His touch is searing hot along the length of your thighs and hips, his finger prints imprinted all over your skin as he works your legs open and slots between them. You bunch the fabric of your shirt up between your hands, your tendons nervously flexing beneath your skin. You rest between wanting to touch him, to feel the thrum of his heartbeat that swam along his veins, and keeping yourself curled inward like a pillbug.

“Pretty baby,” Kazuha hums, smoothing his lips along the length of your inner thigh.

Your belly stirs with an unnameable emotion. It’s something close to dread but it’s shrouded with the cloyingly sweet aroma of pleasure; easy to forget and even easier to drown oneself in.

“Please,” you whine, lifting your hips upward, “Touch me, Kazuha.”

His name is like lead on your tongue, your moans are light as a feather.

He blots an open mouthed kiss to your wet slit, his tongue lolling out to lap up your arousal. He too moans, finding some form of bliss in the way you squirm beneath him. Your nails prickle the sensitive skin of your stomach as you grasp at your shirt. Hissing out a curse, you press your eyes closed.

“Please,” you plead again.

Though, you’re unsure what it is you’re asking for.

Kazuha’s fingers pinch the fat of your hips between his hands, pinning you in place as he lavishes you with his tongue and mouth. His hot, heady pants of breath and salvia make a myriad of obscene sounds in his garish display. You wonder briefly if this is his way of conveying how much he misses you, misses this. Pouring all he can into your well and sucking it dry. How apt.

Still sensitive from earlier, your orgasm builds quickly from how he suckles on your puffy clit. Your spend is swallowed whole by Kazuha with a happily, content hum who rocks his crotch against the carpet for some semblance of stimulation.

He pulls off you with a wet pop. His lips and chin glistens in your essence. Kazuha looks too much like a smug kitten as he plops a sloppy kiss to your cheek, his hair tickling your neck.

“Will you fuck me?” You ask, snaking a hand down his torso.

“You want to?”

You nod, fumbling around with his belt until it comes undone with a soft clink. Kazuha is all over you. His cologne fills your senses as he nuzzles into you, you struggle not to choke on it. His skin tastes like all the stupid decisions you’ve ever made. But, you drag your tongue along his sternum, where his shirt falls open to expose his chest, and work your hand along the length of his stiff cock. His weepy head dribbles precum onto your hand and throbs as you firmly tug him.

“Do you want me to get a-”

You cut him off with a quick shake of your head, “It’s fine,” you whisper, pressing his cock closer to your cunt.

“You’re the only one I’ll ever love,” he confesses as he sinks into you, his mouth agape with pleasure as he stretches out your walls.

Tears prickle at the corner of your eyes but hopefully, Kazuha mistakes it for something else and not the weight that cracks open your chest. Pressing your face into his shoulder, you roughly dig your fingers into his torso.

His hips languidly rock into yours, he takes his pleasure in drawing out hiccupy whines from you.

Though, you don’t say it, you think you might feel the same. Kazuha might be the only one you ever love even if you didn’t admit to yourself or him.

It didn’t matter if you did, by morning, Kazuha Kaedehara would be as free as the breeze itself. The next time your loneliness and self loathing peeked, you’d be his once more. The cycle would continue on and on until one or both of you found someone else to fill the void.

Until then, it wasn’t so bad to be split open and meld into Kazuha, playing pretend at a relationship that no longer exists.

© all content belongs to dearbraus. do not modify, repost, or redistribute.

networks: @enchantedforest-network @houseofsolisoccasum

[seakicker]

When pressed on the matter, Scaramouche would, of course, rather die than admit his feelings for milf!reader. If any of his friends were to ask him if he has the hots for his lovely little neighbor lady, he'd act as if the mere notion is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. Him, in love with his hag of a neighbor? He doesn’t find their jokes very funny.

He doesn’t feel anything but disdain for your clumsiness and contempt for your shamelessness, he insists to his inquirers. While some of his friends have playfully argued that his incessant insistence on your supposed undesirability comes off as… overcompensation, Scaramouche has always asserted that he feels absolutely nothing for you. Why would he?

No, there is nothing about you that arouses Scaramouche. Nothing about the soft bounce of your tits as you climb the stairs, the round curve of your plump belly proudly jutting against your tight pencil skirts and pairs of mom jeans, or the ample plumpness of your thighs and ass peeking out from under your skirts gets him going. Why would it? You annoy him, he insists over and over and over again.

And yet, despite his best efforts at convincing his friends that he feels nothing for you, none of them believe him. Kazuha and Heizou are both too inquisitive and intuitive to take anything he says at face value, Venti says he can "absolutely tell when someone's in loooooove," Xiao only remarks that if Scaramouche's claims really were true, he wouldn't be trying so hard to prove them to the others, and Aether only sheepishly adds that somebody who insists they aren't in love with their neighbor wouldn't feel the need to bring every story about them back to their body and how it looks in different outfits. Why aren't any of his friends on his side? Maybe it's a sign to find a new circle.

He'll never stop insisting that nothing about you arouses him, and yet... whenever Venti goes off on a tangent describing the softness of an older woman's body (he appears to speak from experience) and how you look just as soft and desirable as every lady should be, Scaramouche can't help but feel a little... angry? That's probably not it, but there's something about Venti thirsting over Scaramouche's own neighbor that ignites something bitter in the latter. It's not like he should care— he's already said that he feels nothing for his neighbor, so that should give the others free reign to talk about you and lust after you as much as they want with little regard to Scaramouche simply because he's already asserted that he's not actively pursuing her. If Scaramouche isn't gonna take her, then Venti will— and yet, something about that just... irks Scaramouche.

Is it the fact that Scaramouche just cannot understand why Venti would want to get with you after all of the former's best efforts at convincing them that you're nothing special, that you're just some old hag with a loose body and nothing better to do with your time than lounge around the pool in a skimpy bikini that exposes more than it covers? Scaramouche can't believe anyone alive finds your shamelessness attractive— when he catches himself staring at you as you readjust your bikini top for the eightieth time that afternoon, it's not because he's in awe of how dutifully that bikini's clinging to dear life, it's because he's disgusted with your lack of ability to pick out something that actually fits you, alright? Don't get it twisted: he's not staring at your tits and he's certainly not staring at your thighs and he's absolutely not staring at your belly and he's most positively not staring at your ass and—

Hm. If nothing else, maybe Scaramouche should secure you for himself so he doesn't have to put up with the idea of one of his own friends getting with his neighbor. That's all there is to it, alright? It would be exceptionally troublesome for Scaramouche if Venti were to get with his neighbor—imagine how awkward that would be— so the former takes it upon himself to prevent that from happening.

...No other reason at all, nope.

[chainelunaire]

a heart of a jack of clubs

(7,4k words. angst through and through, somehow ambigious ending. slowburn. so slow, it takes them quarter of a century to fuck.)

when you’re almost 8 months pregnant, you meet scaramouche.

it’s pretty awkward, actually - you sit under a tree in a chinju forest, trying to breathe, but you do a pretty bad job at that. everything hurts so much, you hoped no one would hear your crying, but gods like to laugh at you. you close your eyes from time to time, hoping you would never open them again. you never knew that giving birth is such a challenge, you only heard of it, and you thought you’ve prepared yourself. but it was supposed to be a month more untill you meet your child. and now, well, yeah. nothing is ever right in your life.

when you open your eyes again, after getting so tired of screaming and maybe losing your consciousness for a minute, there’s three of them right in front of you: a little girl with soft white hair in a pretty green dress, touching your forehead. a man with a stark red strand in his light grey hair, his gaze is so worried and pained. the third man stays behind those two, and you can’t even comprehend how he looks like.

“i think she’s dying” girls says a little too brightly. the man with white hair looks a little bit bewildered.

“don’t say it like that!”

“does it matter?” the third man says. “open your eyes, kaedehara. she is dying.”

“still, you can hurt her with this even more” the kind man sits in front of you - his touch is blessedly chill against your feverish skin. “lady, can you hear me? can you understand what i say to you?”

you can only blink slowly in response. because of the pain you can’t really scream anymore, but tears start streaming down your face once again. you want to ask them to kill you, because you’ve suffered for god knows how many hours by now. maybe you even do ask them, considering that the girl now frowns, the kind man tries to wipe your tears away and even the third man stiffens because of your cries.

“i am no expert, but i think it’s a preterm birth.” girl says, her tone really sad now “she really might die. we need to move her in some more of a clean space, quickly.”

“we can’t really move her, you know?” girl turns her head and you guess her gaze makes the third man sigh loudly. “okay, okay, don’t look at me like that” you hear his steps and he finally bends in front of you. you can’t really see his face because of how ridiculously big his hat is, but his voice is much softer now when he speaks to you directly “hold on my shoulders, lady, we’re gonna take a quick ride.”

you do as he says, feeling another wave of terrible pain shuttering your body. almost laying on his chest, yet you hear no heartbeat. his skin velvety and cool under your fingertips, when he easily lifts you from the ground, and from now on you don’t remember anything.

***

you took your son outside to play in grass, when scaramouche returns from sumeru. unexpectedly, as always.

here’s the trick: even if you can say now, that kazuha is your friend (and thank god for him, he’s the best human who ever walked this earth), nahida is probably your friend too, even though you don’t see her a lot and she’s much, much more reserved than kazuha (who is a grown man, despite his height), scaramouche is an interesting case. you’ve never ever asked him, who he even was, what he did for life. you felt like you had no right, since you’ve been nobody yourself. he’s just kinda...there. you don’t know what to think of him. you can’t label it, so you just don’t do it.

he visits you regularly. he’s at your house more often, then even kazuha; he has more than enough duties in sea, and scaramouche doesn’t. he just does as he pleases. and it seems like he wants to be near you a lot of the times. you don’t mind, really: he’s a nice company, very useful and not overbearing. he also seems to know a lot about caring for kids, which you find unexpected, but again, you need that guidance. 

even if in the beginning you thought he was the one with a cold heart, now you’re definitely not sure. you gave birth that night and you’ve slept for over two weeks after. nahida told you, that she put you in that state, since she was afraid, you die. your body was so fragile after giving birth, she spent days and nights healing you. kazuha was busy building you new home with the help of the beidou’s crew - you don’t want to know, how nahida learnt, that you were homeless. in that time, scaramouche was the one who cared for your son: he fed him, lulled him to sleep, checked on his health. you’ve learnt that only months after, nahida told you that. but you kinda got the feeling anyway.

you could easily say, scaramouche liked spending time with the kid. he brought him presents anytime he visited. expensive toys from fontaine, liyue and snezhnaya, clothes from natlan, candies and some delicious food from sumeru. he says, he doesn’t care about mora, and it looks like he doesn’t lie, but you still feel uneasy with how much he spends on your son. but again, he helped you. he still helps you a lot. weeks, then months go by, and you’re so used to him at your side, you start to feel a bit lost when he finally leaves again. you know he’ll return, yet you still wonder, what if not.

“look who’s all grown up now” your son squeals in delight when he hears scaramouche’s voice, and you turn your head too, because your son tends to have better sight than you, he also hears a lot more than you. 

scaramouche’s on his way to your little home, and you stand up to greet him. you actually stop, because he stumbles funnily, when you come near him. it’s as if he wanted to hug you, forgetting himself for a second. you see no problem though. you would hug him, if he wanted you to. 

it’s always a happy time, when he’s at your home - playing with your son, while you make dinner, then telling you both his stories. they’re quite endearing, and he has such a nice voice, while telling them, it’s as if he was truly a balladeer. your son loves listening to him, he actually likes to sit on his lap and watching him speak. you usually stand near the kitchenette, cup of tea in your hands, watching them talk.

it brings you somewhere close to longing for something you never had. but you, weakly, love that feeling. and sometimes scaramouche looks at you strangely, like he wants to ask, what are you thinking, but even if he did ask, you don’t know what to tell him. you don’t know what you want of him yourself.

you love when scaramouche comes to your home. that you know for sure.

this time is only slightly different. your son is sleeping soundly in your arms, when you want to bring him to his bed. you hear scaramouche’s voice near your ear:

“lemme hold him. please”

you look at him with wide eyes.

he actually rarely took your son in his arms. it wasn’t like he didn’t want to, more out of his respect for you as your son’s mother. 

he holds your son with such gentleness, caressing his hair through his fingers. you smile, because of how fond you find that gesture. he studies the kid’s face for a minute, and then he looks straight in your eyes:

“you really love him, huh?”

“what? of course i do. i am his mom”

“not every mother loves her child” and you know, there’s a bad, bad story behind those words, yet you say nothing on that matter. 

“you love him too” you say instead. it’s as clear as the sky is blue to you. it’s clear for pretty anybody - read, nahida and kazuha - too.

and yet, for a second, he looks like a kid, who got cought stealing candies before dinner.

“bullshit. i’m just helping you because you’re such a baby and know nothing”

“yeah. that’s why you asked to hold my son”

“exactly”

“okay. give him back to me then”

he actually takes a step back. you think it’s funny how he looks like he will fight you if you try to snatch a baby back in your arms. so you laugh quietely.

“scaramouche” you call him.

“what” he snaps back, but quiet enough not to wake your son. you take one step towards him, then another, untill you can hug him lightly, and he’s so stiff in your arms, like a porcelain doll.

“it’s okay. you can love my son too,” you whisper, feeling how his head falls on your shoulder. “i allow that.”

you stay like that for long, long moments, and you’re actually so surprised that your heart doesn’t beat so fast. it’s just so calm to you, being near him.

“i wanted to say to you that it’s okay to stay here, you know” 

“i always stay, stupid”

“no. i mean for real. i know you don’t want that, probably. but you can always stay with us. for however long”

you hear him laugh bitterly.

“you say you know i don’t want to stay? so funny”

“why?”

“because it means you truly know nothing”

***

your first kiss with scaramouche happens when your son is five and he learns that everyone has a father, except him.

interestingly enough, it’s kazuha, who tells you that. he visited you again, while being in inazuma, as he always did for past years. your bond only grew stronger with years, but you know that it’s nothing, comparing to his bond with scaramouche. they weren’t even that good of a friends. it’s more likely that something tragic bonded them, and you’re partly glad you know nothing about it.

you’ve learned a lot about scaramouche in past years while living with him. he still left sometimes, when nahida needed him or his duties called, but he lived with you for much longer. his trips were much shorter too. you fell into some kind of ruitine, and with that came few things you needed to know about each other.

he never actually hid anything from you, it’s just that you felt uncomfortable being persistent, so you learned thing at a time. you’ve learnt he doesn’t need to eat or drink, but he likes to cook and does this often. you’ve learnt he doesn’t care if it’s hot or cold outside, he’s fine anytime. if listen closely, you can hear how his joints quietely screeching everytime he moves. his skin is slightly velvety to touch, like cold porcelain. he sleeps with his eyes open.

he’s not a human, not really. you thought that would worry you more, with everything you’ve been through, yet you just... don’t care.

“i never thought i would tell you this, but it doesn’t matter. you’ve learned this yourself!” kazuha says, and you stand outside the room, hearing everything they say, hoping, they won’t see you. “you know, how much nahida loves you, and i know you love her - don’t you dare to interrupt me right now. it doesn’t always have to be blood. don’t fool me and say you don’t love the kid.”

“i do” scaramouche says after a long pause “and i’m not his father. there’s no need for a father at all. they’re useless.”

“but he wants one. he wants you to be”

“he has a father, he was born somehow, wasn’t he? do you see him here? me too. so that’s what i’m not. i’m not his father.”

you feel so much pain you can’t breathe.

you don’t even go out to say your goodbye to kazuha. you just sit on a stone near the cliff, watching foxes running and playing around. you hate them with your whole being.

“so you heard everything”

it’s rare now to see scaramouche parading in his hat and fancy outfit. his hair grew a bit longer, he wears no hat, and his shorts and shirt are very simple. his haori is a present from you on his birthday. he wears it religiously.

and you’re pained.

“i have”

“i see. may i sit near you?”

you nod, turning your head away.

he sits silently next to you. he’s still the most pleasant person to just sit next to in complete silence, and you despise yourself for how weak you were. you gave up on being close to him, but your son? what he ever did to him?

“actually, i genuinely hate inazuma” scaramouche says suddenly - your heart clenches, because yeah, of course, why would he love it here? you live in a deep of a chinju forest, in small wooden house with your son. he has an opportunity to visit anywhere he wants. whay would he want to even be there, of all places? “i hate it so fucking much, you can’t imagine.”

“i truly can’t”

“yeah, you can’t” he says again, no mockery in his voice. “this is the place where i was born and left behind. the only thing i ever wanted is to set everything up in flames here. and i felt like that for years. centuries.”

your heart sinks.

“i thought you’re i don’t know? twenty five?” kazuha is around thirty, so you’ve guessed he’s also around his age, even with how young he looks. scaramouche chuckles.

“yeah. slightly older than that” he looks at you with unreadable smile “still, i’m here. any ideas, why?”

“you’re masochistic?”

“no, anything else? come on, you can do better than that” his smile disappears as fastly, as it was brought. “here i thought you would explain me why”

you don’t answer anything to that. he chuckles again - more bitterly this time.

“i meant what i said. kid has a father. a shitty one, i assume. i don’t want to be anything like that. you need to believe me” he takes your hand in his and squeezes it slightly, making you look at him. and he’s so serious and worried right now, you feel your heart might explode. “i wish only the best on you two. i wouldn’t do anything to harm you. and you don’t have to tell me anything. i know a thing or two about how shitty those kitsune bastards can be. in the end, it’s your life, and i’m no one to you, you owe me nothing”

“are you serious right now?!” you almost yell, yanking your hand away. “you’ve lived here for five years! five! you’ve teached my son how to read, you’ve played with him, you brought him gifts, you brought me gifts, and you sleep in my room on a bed that stands next to mine, and you are no one to me?! you fucking selfish little-” you stop only when you hear him laughing. it makes you even more mad, but it disappears the moment you see how glassy his eyes are. and he keeps laughing and laughing and laughing, untill he stops completely.

“i do sound like my mother” he whispers, more to himself than to you. and then he looks at you again, his eyes are so clear and sad for how badly he hurt you. “i shouldn’t have said that”

the worst part is that you don’t feel hurt for yourself. you feel bad for your kid.

you never planned on having kids. your plan was to become a priestess in a great shrine, which is really ironic, considering of course it was a kitsune who made you change your mind. who made you drop everything you planned behind, to run away with him from your hometown, only for him to drop you the second he got what he wanted from you. and maybe he didn’t even want anything at all. probably that, because that’s just how cruel yokais can be. it was all just a fun game, and you kinda lost. you would strongly disagree it was fun at all.

that’s the reason your pregnancy was so difficult. the baby was just too strong for your human body. he keeps getting stronger every day, and you were so thankful to scaramouche because he seemed to know how to handle your son. he’s so strong willed and independent even now, that you need help. because yeah, you do not know how to raise a child.

your son looks like a normal kid, except for his now little dark claws. they showed when he became four, and he cried that night, thinking he’s very ugly now. and you know why he’s thinking that. some might say he’s scary and looks like a demon, but even though your son’s eyes are blood red with a vertical pupil, they remind you strangely of kazuha, of all people. your son is half yokai, yeah, and people might be scared of him, but his gaze holds no malice. he’s the sweetest boy, who loves you deeply, who loves scaramouche, nahida and kazuha. you hope, he’ll be like kazuha, because his kindness and gentleness is seen in him even now, and you don’t want to hate your kid just because for who his father is.

the dinner is very silent - even your son keeps it low, because he somehow sensed that something is wrong between you two. he thanks you for food, kisses you on a cheek while saying goodnight and then turns to his room.

“don’t you wanna say goodnight to me too?” scaramouche asks suddenly. your son turns to him, surprised. ever so gentle, scaramouche rarely openly show affection towards kid, even when your son wanted him to.

“can i?” he asks hesitantly. scaramouche smiles lightly and extends his hand.

“come here, give your dad a hug”

you drop the plate you were holding, and your son literally runs towards scaramouche. you know if it was you he would probably hit you (not intentionally, but he’s that strong at his age), but scaramouche catches him easily, and it reminds you of a day when he brought you here just as easily. you chew your bottom lip, while watching, how happily your son hugs said man, and that man, while smiling, looks you right into the eyes, as if asking for your forgiveness.

you turn away.

scaramouche usually reads after the dinner, yet you’re not surprised to find him in your room. he looks up at you - it’s late in the evening, your son is very much asleep, so it’s quiet and cozy here.

“that was super weird.”

“which part?”

“i’m not his father. i’m not anyone’s father” he frowns “and it felt really weird saying things like that”

“oh, really”

“don’t fucking laugh at me, woman” you think it’s adorable, how his harsh words don’t match the soft tone of his voice. “i’m not-”

“scaramouche”

“what?”

“can i kiss you?”

you’re afraid you broke him for a minute - he looks at you with such a strange expression on his face, you can’t comprehend it. he looks so young and vulnerable and alive, you can’t imagive, how he’s not a human. and how much you want him by your side.

“yes” he says quietely, voice not above just a whisper “yes, you can”

***

your son is eleven, when his... father decides to show up.

and you think, why would it end differently? of course there’s always a way to ruin it for you. last few years was the best you ever had in your life, so something needs to change to show you, how are you not actually in charge.

your life became just a little bit too perfect. it consisted of you, scaramouche and your son having a breakfast together, then you stay to study with your son, while scaramouche works in a garden, because you can’t do hard work, so your health won’t worsen. later you usually go for a walk to a shrine or at the seacost. you’ve visited countless festivals and watched fireworks together. in evenings you still listen to scaramouche’s stories, and then you say goodnight to your son, so you can to bed together. years later, you still only sleep together. he likes to kiss you, yeah, but nothing more. you’re fine. you’re not sure your body won’t betray you anyway.

so of course it has to be ruined.

and this prick - you really can’t even bring yourself to call him a father of your beautiful, kind, sweet son - shows up looking exactly like you’ve seen him last time. you know time flies, and you’re fine with you aging, yet it feels like a slap in a face. you’ve never felt this way with scaramouche, even though he too, obviously, doesn’t change a bit.

give me my son, that prick says. you did everything i’ve wanted from you. now it’s time for me to teach my son how he needs to be.

your blood boils with such rage, you think you’ve never been able to feel this much. you remember how one morning he just never returned, and later you found out you were pregnant. how much you cried, feeling horror almost in your bones, and how high priestess said that if you decide to keep the child, best case scenario it’ll take a good half of your life. the decision wasn’t up to you anyway. it was late, and you made peace with the fact that you will probably die soon.

did you really think i’ll just leave my son be with you, he asks, not really wanting you answer. 

fuck you. scaramouche is his father, you think stubbornly. and, also, fuck you again.

he says, he’ll return back when your kid will turn twelve, and he’ll ask if he stays with you or go with him. he will know that man who raised him never was his father, and he’ll hate you for it. 

and maybe if you were stupid young self, you would listen to him. you would dread the date and think a hundred times over how to tell your son that... how to tell him anything. you would cry because your son might turn into his father, hurting more and more people, without the possibility for this cycle to break.

now you’re smarter. 

you see there’s a lot of foxes near your house. your son sits at a table, focused on a book scaramoche presented him just a week ago. it’s a book from nahida, so it’s very special. scaramouche is nowhere to be seen - he’s probably in city, buying stuff you need. your heart aches for how heartbroken he will be.

foxes get closer to your son. be it your young self, you would cry out of horror.

but now you’re smarter. 

so you take your son’s hand and just run.

***

you hide with your son for five years, when you meet nahida.

your son is first to pinpoint her in the crowd. people moving and dancing around you, there’s smell of hot spice and something sweet in the air, the sun is so hot and red. you change regions frequently, you need to, but natlan so far is the least favourite of yours. you hate how loud it is, how hot it is. there’s no serenity in those lands, only war and feasts.

“nahida? nahida!” your son’s voice helps you to snap out of it. you feel something between panic and excitement.

there she is: still so small and young, an adult in a kid’s body. you’r afraid people might hurt her. but she moves right towards you, her gaze stoic and unwavering.

“nahida!” your son kneels so he can hug her and she does immediately hug him back, her little hands look even smaller on his back. your son is not very tall, rather lean and not so broad. he reminds you of a fox - the only one you won’t hate.

“i’m so glad to see you. it’s been so long” you blame yourself for longing in his voice. you took everything from him too.

“how have you been?” she asks him, holding his face with her hands. he smiles widely.

“we’re fine. wanna talk to mom? i thought you like me better” she finally giggles and pats him on a head.

“we’ll have plenty of a time to talk. but yes, i need to talk to your mother”

you can’t let go of your habits that easily - all those years you spend watching your son every moment, so no one would steal him from you. nahida sees that, she was always capable of seeing through people.

“i wonder what it takes to be able to hide from everyone, even from the goddess of wisdom” she starts. 

you sigh.

“you wouldn’t want to know”

“i always wanna know” she argues “i can’t believe i was finally able to find you. we’ve all tried to find you”

“please, don’t torture me like that. please.”

she gets quiet for a moment.

“you look sick” it’s because you are sick. there was no peace in your life, not a second since you were on a run. you don’t age like normal humans, not after given a birth to yokai, yet sometimes you wish you just get grey hair and that’s it. your body hurts all the time, so much, sometimes you can’t sit straight. “i told you years ago, if you don’t watch yourself you will-”

“don’t care”

“but i do. your son does.” you know who else does too, probably. “can you at least tell me, what happened? i can’t help you if-”

“no one can help me.”

“i think we might argue about that” she gets closer to you and takes your hand into hers. you immediately feel strange relief, as if something very heavy was taken off your shoulders. “tell me. we will find a way. i, as an archon of wisdom, will find a way for you”

there’s sunset, and music gets louder, people start dancing again. your son looks at you, his lips trembling. you so, so want to go back to your home in a dark forest. 

“please, mom” he whispers, almost inaudible. “let’s return”

the ghost of his father still haunts you at nights, but with years passing your horror started to fade away. there’s no way somebody was able to make your son someone different. he loved you deeply, yet you knew he judged you for not saying anyone a word. 

he looked so much like scaramouche sometimes, it brought you to a physical pain. he frowned like him, his smile was just as mischievous and fond as his, he liked to read, liked to watch fireworks and work in garden. he was so softspoken even when he was hurt or angry.

there’s no way he could be like anyone but his father.

you blink once, twice, feeling tears sting your eyes. 

and start speaking.

***

you’re with kazuha in mondstadt year later, when scaramouche steps in your rented room.

“there you are” is all he says. you almost jump off the chair, turning to him immediately.

“i’ll leave you two” kazuha stands up and winks at you. “good luck”

traitor.

what you expected to see? scaramouche looks exactly like six years ago, still young and lean, though he looks much, much darker now. his clothes are from the way back, when he dressed in black and turqiuose, but now it has more purple to it. the bells on his veil dangle dangerously.

"let’s summarize what we have here” he says as if nothing happened, as if you haven’t seen him for so long. “instead of talking to me and just saying you need some help, you decided to run away and hide for years, am i right?”

“it wasn’t like that”

“oh? tell me how it was then”

you have no words. you knew he would be mad, that’s why you begged nahida not to tell him anything. nahida said okay. and there was kazuha, who didn’t say anything, when you tried to ask for his promise to stay silent.

he probably did it for your son. he wanted to see him so much, it became hard to keep him low.

“i hear nothing” the venom in his voice almost burns you.

“i couldn’t say anything. he would take my son away”

“he wouldn’t”

you smile sadly. you still feel heavy in your stomach, your back hurts.

“he would” you repeat, and for the first time scaramouche looks less mad. “when i returned home, after i found out i was pregnant, he followed me. i didn’t know that. and when i told my family i needed help, well...”

he looks at you expectantly. you feel so cold in your limbs.

“what did he do?” he asks you, way calmly this time.

“my yonger sister, she... she went out one day and never came back. my parents searched everywhere, nothing. and week later another girl. and another”

he stays silent, yet you see how he clenches his fists so much, you hear that sweet, sweet sound of creaking joints. you can’t smile anymore. 

“i know it was him.” you say simply. “there’s no evidence. i don’t know what he did to them. i hope they hadn’t suffered and died quickly, because he enjoys... he loves to play.”

“i killed him” he says matter-of-factly. you feel cold sweat on your back with how calm and lifeless he looks. “he broke the rules anyway. so i did what i had to do”.

“what rules are you talking about? how did you even found him?”

“i asked my mother” that surprises you. “see, i could, of course, just kill him in silence. but the forest belongs to yokai. there are rules. kitsune can’t really mess with humans that much anymore. apparently, that made everyone’s life difficult, and it was not easy to lure him in... long story short, he’s dead. he won’t bother you anymore.”

“you asked your mother?”

now he looked nervous.

“i had to. i needed help to track him down. this is her land. she knows where he could hide, since she’s yokai herself” you remember all the times he spoke to you about his family, his mothers or his sister. he rarely did this, granted, yet it pains you even more to hear him going through it alone.

“are you okay?”

“you kidding?” he looks at you, bewildered “that’s what you choose to ask me?!”

“i don’t know what else to ask” you asnwer truthfully. 

you see the gnosis on his chest starts to shine - he closes it with his hand, as if his heart hurt. you know he has no heart. you’ve never heard his heartbeat.

suddenly the door slams open.

there’s kazuha with your son, standing in front door. kazuha took him under his wing, helping you hide him, because there’s no such place as the ocean, and though kitsune usually hate water, your son loved it. you’ve seen him only yestersay, thinking he’s already on a ship, which is now under kazuha’s command.

but it seems like everything goes not how you expected today.

you see so much emotions on scaramouche’s face. from surprise and joy to sadness and anger. he’s angry at you, because you’ve stolen him of those years he could spent near you and your kid, like a family that you were. you see, that it’ll take time for him to forgive you for those years he lost, net seeing your son growing up, changing and become who he is now. they’re the same height now, the eyes of your son are still bright red and kind, but not at all naive. he’ll only learn now, how simillar they look, when they get angry, or how their sense of humour is basically the same. they look nothing alike, and yet it was your son and his behaviour who reminded you always of what you’ve left behind. and you’re so sorry too.

you’re so, so sorry you hurt them both.

and then scaramouche smiles - widely, so fond and kind, like years ago.

“so grown up now, you don’t even want to give me a hug?” he says, only half-joking. he’s testing waters, if he could take what was his once back.

your son runs towards him in a second.

kazuha pats your back reassuringly, as if saying that it’s going to be okay now. you’re sure you’ve never seen scaramouche cry. it’s just tears down his face, as he smiles and hugs your son tighter. and you actually now know, what you want to ask.

can you return home?

***

it’s almost twenty five years after you first meet scaramouche, when you finally can say you’ve found peace.

scaramouche chuckles, when you say that to him, as if you said something really funny.

“your standarts are still really low” he says, and you nod thoughtfully.

“yeah. i’m living with you at the end of the day”

he glares at you, but says nothing. you’ve learnt a lot from him in those years, so now he keeps his mouth shut.

when you first returned to your home in a forest, you were too busy bringing it back it’s cozy view. it was still not as abandoned, as you imagined. kazuha told you, scaramouche returned here regularly, hoping to meet you here one day. 

it took him a year to become less paranoid. you could understand that, since you too couldn’t really let go of the feeling that you’re free to do what you want. finally, what you want. not what you need. nahida took your son to sumeru, to help him become more independent, and you? you were truly all for youself, the first time in your life.

“what is going on inside that brain of yours now?” scaramouche asks you impatiently. you only smile in response.

“that’s a secret”

“ugh. disgusting” he holds you closer, eyes sparkling with mischief “tell me”

you look at him and can’t not smile. he’s so beautiful in your eyes. you could never understand, how he switches so easily between being angsty teen brat and a centuries old wise son of a god. you think that that sounds right, because only a god could create someone so endearing and loving and vulnerable and brave-

“you’re doing it again”

“doing what?”

“drifting off” he says seriously. “what’s on your mind?”

what’s on your mind? your son was no longer there, so you couldn’t tell yourself scaramouche was here only for him. however much he loved him, it was stupid to stay in denial. you couldn’t afford that anymore.

“do you love me?” you ask him. he looks surprised for a second, but collects himself very quickly.

“of course not. i just enjoy spending years of my life near somebody i hate”

“you would love that. you easily could do that out of spite, don’t lie.”

“you know me so well” he retorts sarcastically, but stops himself, seeing your face “why you asking stupid questions?”

“because i want more”

he stays silent, and you hate how sometimes you truly can’t say, what he’s thinking right now.

“okay let’s forget-”

“you’ve seen me naked” he starts cautiously. that you did. “i’m not human. i am a puppet at the end of the day.”

“do i look like somebody who would spend years of their life living with a puppet and suddenly find out that yeah, i might actually care that said puppet has no dick?” he coughs, as you quirk your eyebrow. “yeah, exactly”

“but can you imagine my mother designing my dick?” he asks in the most flat tone, his face unreadable. you can’t help but cackle. the corner of his mouth twitches, as if he tries to supress a smile. “that fox bitch definitely could though.”

“maybe it’s for the best she was stopped”

“probably, yeah”

you want to say to him, he’s not a puppet, he should stop thinking of himself like that, but you know it would just anger him, if anything. he was always realistic. he was a puppet. with his own mind, his thoughts, desires, feelings. he was just...like that.

and the thing is, even with your inexperience, you know, that there are definitely more skilled men in a block. maybe you could even snatch one for a good night, but you don’t want to, genuinely. you never did. you want this puppet - you want him - and there all it is to it.

so when he finally gives in and kisses you, rolling on his back so you would be on top of him, you can only sigh. he sits up and puts your hair from your face with quiet, yet so fond smile, you can feel your heart breaking your ribs.

“you’re so beautiful” he whispers, while looking you straight in the eyes “always were and always will be”

you kiss him with desire you refuse to ignore any longer. 

he’s definitely not the most expirienced either, but what he lacks with skill he makes up to with his patience and tenderness. he has to be gentle because of how fragile your health is, so he tries to do that exactly. his smile so innocent, almost angelic, if only it wasn’t for the devilish sparks in his eyes, that lit up when you whine his name. you quickly decide, that you both love that. that, and how cool his skin feels under your touch, especially when he kisses your neck, while telling you to lift yourself a bit. you shiver in anticipation and yet still moan, when you feel the first finger inside. you don’t see his face, but you know that now he must be smiling like a stupid arrogant brat that he is.

and yet, his fingers feel so good, you clench on his shoulders with such force you fear you can break him. he only shushes you, his other hand patting your back, mouth never leaves your neck for long. he fucks you slow and steadily, keeping you in place, so you don’t move and he’s the one deciding the pace. even when you beg him to go faster, he only kisses you lovingly and continues to torture you with slow deep thrusts. you hate him for it, but not really.

you come with his name on your lips, and he keeps fucking you through it, so tenderly you feel tears in your eyes. to your surprise, you feel something wet on your neck too.

“scaramouche?” you ask worriedly, lifting his face with your hands so you can look at him properly. “are you okay?”

his eyes are glassy, and his cheeks are wet with tears, but you’ve learned a long ago that his tears are the only way showing anything of his emotions. and even though he cries, that’s not all to it.

“i’m great” he chuckles and kisses your shoulder, as you ruffle his hair “better than i have ever been”.

***

it’s winter, when you talk to scaramouche abouth death.

you have always dodged this topic elegantly. nahida told you, now decades ago, that your life won’t be long, nor that it would be joyful. scaramouche argued with her on that, but you silently agree with her. your life was on a thread the minute you felt your son in you. you can’t believe he’s so mature now, even though he still looks like a teen boy. and while scaramouche doesn’t visit his mothers ever, your son did visit his mom once. he later stayed in her shrine for about a year, learning from her, since she was, in scaramouche’s words, a knowledgeable bitch. 

but it wasn’t you and your condition, that triggered that talk.

kazuha dies so suddenly, it leaves everyone in shock. of course he was an old man now, but still you hadn’t expect it. you’re sure, if it was up to scaramouche or nahida, they would try to save him, but he just... dies in his sleep, that’s kind of it. the most peaceful, most kind death one could ever imagine. your heart roars in loss when you hear the news, your son cries in his bed when he learns his favourite unckle won’t ever return. he was your friend, the best friend of your small family, his kindness saved you the day you wanted to die - losing him feels worse than losing an arm. even nahida, who, you know, is very, very reserved, can’t help but shed a few tears.

only scaramouche stays stoic. even months after, you don’t really talk about how he lost another human that he loved dearly. 

you lay in bed together, your face in his neck, while he stares at a ceiling, swirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. 

“you're angry” you whisper. you know he is. you know his fears all too well now.

but he surprises you.

“no” he says quietely. “not really”

“huh?!”

“if it was me, say, hundred years ago, i would be so pissed with him” he says with a smile - not his usual arrogant one, something different. “that would make me so mad, i would probably find a way to bring him back alive just to kill him myself for that. but i think i get it now. huh. we really do change through our lives, don’t we?”

you don’t know what to answer to that, so you just lay there silently.

“i asked nahida to turn my head off, when you die”

this is such a shock, you stand up on your elbows to look at him. but he looks back at you - calmly and peaceful.

“what did you just say?”

“i said, i asked nahida to turn me off, when you die.” he scoffs softly and caresses your hand gently. “because you will die, y/n. like i said, i get it know. it’s not something you can’t decide not to do. yet i can decide what to do with myself. and six hundred years is more than enough”

“you can’t just decide to kill yourself” you whisper in shock, “nahida won’t do that, she won’t do that to you” he looks at you in surprise, but then smiles.

“oh, it’s not like that. she just... she’ll change the things in my head, i don’t know. she’s way better with tech, than me. so one day i’ll just stop working, i guess.” it’s impossible to you how he smiles dreamily, how content he looks “huh, i don’t know for how long i’ll walk on this land after you, but i’m looking forward to find it out.”

“what about our son?” and there it is, the only pain he lets himself have.

“nahida will take care of it. and, like i said, i won’t be gone in a blink of an eye. i’ll take care of him myself too. i guess, i’ll just finally have a life i’ve always dreamt about” he again turns to you and smiles fondly “i had a purpose and i fullfilled it. that would be a normal human life. have i ever told you? i once wanted to become a god. now i want nothing, but to become a mortal.”

you know it’s useless to argue with him, but you try to keep in mind that he really is centuries old. you would never know what it feels like to be this old. and to think of it - you don’t really want to find out. you see the example right before your eyes, how lonely it can be.

“you look so worried”

“i feel like i’ve been bamboozeled”

“oh, you definitely have been” he laughs and puts you near himself, so he can kiss your forehead. “but let’s use what we have now yeah?” you nod and he smiles wider, while rolling you on your back, so he can be on top of you. he looks so smug doing it you can’t help but scoff. 

“alright then” he kisses your nose lovingly, and you giggle again. “hold on my shoulders, lady. we’re gonna take a wild ride.”

[throwaway-yandere]

Welcome back to another batch of shtposts for Flawless (Yandere!Scara, Alhaitham, Kaveh, and Kazuha x Reader), except this time it's more Kazuha ending based

Answering @yandematic 's ask (i think what misdirect people a lot is that some take words to face value– like, do you really believe them when they say that? Especially from Kunikuzushi?)

I don't wanna handhold people when it comes to solving things so I'll let you guys just deduce that for yourselves hAHAHHAHAHA

For @lsleepysimpl , have kid!alhaitham lololol (alhaitham 🤝 reader: i don't mind being the cause of the next class trial–). You're so real for that alhaitham comment, bless you 💖

Continuation of @whispereons 's ask:

Scara doesn't go full yan on others because he respects Kazuha a lot. The reader and Kazu are his friends after all (and they joke that he's their son, that's their dynamic). That's why the first line in Scara's end says something about how he has to break that promise he made years ago because he can't hold back anymore.

And as for Childe:

He did die fighting. He fought Albedo AND Amber.

And this was the last words he heard:

I love the triple A murder case so much but shheudueejkskw.

It's basically Albedo and Amber teaming up to duel Ajax and the incentive was "Trinkets From Outside" so people can get clothes, items, or body parts from someone out there. This was supposed to be the murder case if Tighnari won the poll.

Amber gets Eula's gloves. Albedo receives a tiny finger and the shogun refuses to confirm if it's Klee's or not. Tighnari gets Collei's hair, so he was the one most suspect because Collei's hair was in the crime scene.

Ajax gets not one but a crap ton of "trinkets", all whom he knows are parts of his siblings.

It's super fun!! But ultimately irrelevant from the main fic.