#Kazosa

[kazosa]

Wildwood Sequel: Interlude

Summary: Jensen and the reader are in a soft, blissful part of their relationship before reality fully kicks in. They go back to Y|N’s house, with the touches she added with Jensen in mind, to slowly ease back into the swing of their lives. They have a lot to do before they go to Texas, like breaking the news to Y|N’s mother and brother. Jensen still has some secrets to reveal.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x female reader

Word count: 18429

Warnings: really covers the gammut... swearing, drinking, yelling, jealousy...

a/n: this is pure fiction in regards to the real life celebrities. They are merely a face-grab for characters of my creation.

Tags: @coffee-obsessed-writer   @leigh70  @sandlee44  @coldhearted93  @djs8891  @magssteenkamp  @babykalika2001  @ladysparkles78​  @supernatural3002

The dog days of summer were ending and it felt more like fall the morning when they left Wildwood. He’d taken care of the cabin the night before and even cleaned out the fireplace. It meant there would be no heat running in the cabin, but he and Y|N had found ways to stay warm. Going back to reality would be an adjustment to both of their lives and he was confident they would figure it out together.

Before Y|N got to the cabin, he’d been so out of sorts. He couldn’t make any sense about what to do about his situation. Then, as time passed, he was beginning to wonder if she would find him. When he finally realized it was her walking down his road, the relief set in. The giant, swirling abyss dissipated. She, somehow, always would show up when he needed her most. Sure, he’d given her a clue, but she showed up. She still cared.

He looked over at the passenger seat where she sat in his truck. She’d only gotten more beautiful as time had passed. He couldn’t stop sneaking glances at her and she’d caught him more than once. Y|N would smile a little, tuck her hair behind her ear and look down. When he would catch her watching him, he knew she still had some kind of feelings for him, too. Even if it was pure lust, or just pent-up years of desire, he would take it because he had been holding them in, too. He really couldn’t get enough of her.

They were basically driving into the sun, but it didn’t bother her too much. She had her head down, writing in the notebook she’d forced him to stop to buy. It was bright enough that she still wore sunglasses as she wrote and the sun gave her hair a halo. His angel. Once in a while, she would whisper two sides of a conversation, or other bits of dialog before putting the pen back to the paper to continue the flurry of writing. She went on like that for a couple hours before she lost some speed.

She turned yet another page in the notebook and wrote something at the top of the page before she finally gave him her attention again.

“Okay, we need to talk about some stuff. I need your opinion on things,” she said.

“God, finally,” he said. “You’ve been so quiet, except for whispering dialog, I thought you forgot me.”

“Oh honey, I could never forget about your fine self. Look at you, you sexy sonofabitch,” she said. She smirked when she saw how pink his ears got. “I was writing so I could get the scene out of my head so I could get to you.”

“Get to me?”

“I’m starting a new book in a series I do and I want your input,” she explained.

“I thought you were never going to use me as your smut muse?” he said. “I think we have a pretty good story going.”

“Oh my sweet boy,” she said, “you really are adorable. Let me ask you this, have you read any good books lately?”

“Not lately, but yeah. It’s this guy, a lawman, who fell from grace, gets a job as sheriff in some backwoods area during prohibition, tries to take down bootleggers and other bad guys…”

“... encounters some weird shit in the woods and has an eye for the lady that runs the diner?” she finished for him.

“Yeah, you know the books?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, it hit him. “Are you telling me you’re Ross Black?”

You laughed, “Yeah. Honestly, I thought you knew. I did kind of make it obvious.” You waited as he thought it over. “It’s basically you and all of the cool western lawmen and broken lead characters. Dean, Clint, you, Longmire. Rolled ‘em all up to make Hobart Gibson. Hell, I even gave him your physical description.”

“Hold on,” he raised his index finger at you as he drove. “I need to process this.”

You patiently waited for him to think it all through.

“So, you’re Nova Scott, who, from what I can tell since I’m not allowed to read the books, is on par with Nicholas Sparks and Danielle Steel, and have published however many of those…”

“...about a dozen,” you answered.

“A handful have been made into major motion pictures. Not only am I not in any of those movies, I’m also not the muse. And yet, every single one had some big name in it and made a shitload of money.”

“Are you telling me you want to do a romance movie?”

“No. …I don’t know… maybe?”

“Well, what do you think of Whiskey Hollow and Bart Gibson?” you asked. You’d spent a lot of time and energy getting the character just right.

Jensen looked at you a moment, “He’s a total badass. I love how salty he is, but is soft for Lill.” He paused, “You ever gonna get them together?”

“Do you think they should?” you already had it in the plans but you wanted to hear his opinion.

“She’s obviously in love with Bart.”

“It’s obvious?”

“Every time Bart goes to the diner, Lill personally makes his favorite sandwich and gives him a cookie. If she didn’t love him…”

“... no cookie?” you grinned.

“No cookie,” he tipped his head, his eyes still on the road. “Sugar was precious in the depression. You don’t just slip random people a cookie.”

“Unless she’s in love?”

“Unless she’s in love.”

“Is that why you give me ring-pops, ‘cause you’re in love with me?”

He looked directly at you before switching back to the road and back to you again, “Are you fucking with me right now?”

“Depends on your answer.”

“Have I given you more than one?”

“Jay, you don’t forget much. I know you remember.” There have been many over the years.

He sighed. “I knew it was a trap,” he muttered. “You already know I love you.”

You nodded, “I know that.”

“Is Bart going to make a move on Lill? Are you getting any movie options offers coming in?” he asked.

“Lillian isn’t going to make the first move, I can tell you that much. If he has any kind of warm fuzzies for her, he has to tell her. Cookies and ring-pops won’t cut it. They’re gestures, she wants to hear him say it.”

“He’s not going to say it just because she wants to hear it. If he’s going to tell her he’s in love with her, he’ll do it when he’s ready.”

“Nearly three decades isn’t enough time to work up the nerve?”

“I knew we weren’t talking about Bart and Lill anymore…” he let out a sound of annoyance.

“Who do you think Hobart and Lillian are, Jay?”

“We were only able to get together a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen you in person in over three years. If we, you and I, are going to be together, I want to do things the right way and that means taking things one step at a time, getting familiar with each other again.”

“Don’t I get a say in this? Relationships are give and take and I feel like I’m doing all the giving. I left my job to come find you. I know I don’t need the job, but that isn’t the point. That’s a burnt bridge.”

“Just like you can’t demand I tell you I’m in love with you. If I want to say it, I will when I’m ready. Individually, you and I have been through too much shit to not try to give us the best shot possible and that’s exactly what I want to do. Are you going to do the same or are you going to keep fucking pushing?”

“Knowitall,” you grumbled.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means you’re the same way. You’re one of the smartest people I know, but you also know you’re smart and don’t leave room for other people’s opinions.”

“Even if they’re wrong?”

“See?” he raised his index finger and wagged it in your direction. “That right there. That’s why it’s an opinion. Just because it’s different from yours, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

“Oh really? You sure were vocal when you thought I was wrong about things,” you countered.

“When?! Examples.”

“Every single guy I dated was either an asshole or a douchebag, as you were all too happy to point out.”

“But they were douchebags and assholes. Knew from the start Grant was a manchild freeloader.”

“That may be true, but in that case, your opinion was irrelevant because he was my choice. And not all of them were bad guys, they just weren’t a good match for me.”

“And that’s what makes them douchebags.”

“You married the one I told you was a stuck-up, snobby-assed bitch. What’s really got a bug up your ass, Jay? Seems like we both made dumb choices in the name of love.”

He went silent. You weren’t entirely sure if you’d really made him mad or not. He had both hands on the wheel and slightly tipped back, the expression on his face was changing from annoyed to resolve over and over again.

“Jesus, I can see you thinking in there. You're gonna say what’s on your mind or do you need to pull over and walk it off?” your tone was still snotty.

He clenched his jaw and you decided, maybe too late, to shut up and cool off, yourself, while you rode in silence. He needed to do the same, you supposed. You forgot that he liked to take time to think things through. You should have known not to push him so hard. He needed the time to consider all options and you were more in the moment and needing immediate action.

“Hey,” you wanted to apologize, but the truck began to slow down. He might have needed to walk it off after all. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t say anything, he only pulled over and stopped the truck, putting it in park. He got out and you watched as he walked around the front and came to your door.

He flung open your door, “I take it back.”

Confused, you asked, “Take what back?”

“When I said we shouldn’t try to be together because of our careers. When I said it wasn’t “our time” I was full of shit then and I knew it. I wanted you. I always wanted you. I knew that Christmas at my parents’ house that I didn’t want to let you go. When you told my mom we were just friends? I didn’t like it. All of those boyfriends you had were douchebags because they weren’t me. No one would ever love you, or treat you as well as me.”

He stepped on the running board, leaned in and unbuckled your seatbelt, then turned your knees toward him as he stepped down.

“I should never have let you get on that airplane. I knew I was in love with you then, just like I’m in love with you still.”

He took off his sunglasses and looked up at you in the truck.

Your hands went to his face and neck, touching him wherever you could reach.

“Promise me one thing?” he asked.

“Anything,” you whispered.

“Never be away more than a couple days,” he said.

You nodded.

“Honey, I need you to say it.”

You slid to the edge of the seat and out of the truck. Jensen kept his hands on you, helping you down to the ground, his arms around your waist.

“My sweet boy, I promise, never to be away more than a couple days,” you managed to say while looking into his beautiful green eyes.

The intensity that Jensen exuded could often be overwhelming or scary depending on the situation. He wasn’t one to throw away words. He said what he meant. He was in love with you. 

His forehead rested on yours as you stroked his head and neck. “I could never give my whole heart to someone because you had it, Jensen, my whole heart, since the day we met. I was so scared I would never see you again. I cried when we left the hotel, just like I did when I got on the airplane. I shouldn’t have left.”

If he hadn’t been holding you so tightly to his body, you might have started crying. As it was, you felt like you could barely breathe. Putting words to feelings you’d held down so firmly and for so long seemed to have robbed you of oxygen. It was amazing to finally be able to say it out loud and to the man you’d loved since he was a boy.

He tipped his head down and to the side, his lips meeting yours with subdued passion. The occasional car driving by reminded you both you were still in public. Jensen had been extremely private in his relationship with Danneel. Making out with him on the side of the road felt somewhat out of character. It wasn’t until the last car that went by and honked their horn that he decided to come up for air.

“We’ll finish this later,” he said.

“Jay,” you stopped him. He came back to you, his hand cupping your face. “I’m sorry for pushing too hard. I didn’t mean to upset you, that was the last thing I wanted. I just get hyper aware of what I want and get too focused on it.”

“Mhm,” he grumbled, “you’re forgiven.” He gave you a quick peck.

“Hey Jay, remember when we did the photobooth?” He nodded, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “I was really glad to have you as a friend, but that’s also when you were more than a friend. No one has ever been good enough since then, because, whether I knew it or not, I was in love with you, too.”

“Now you’re just sucking up so you can see my half of the photo strip.”

“Please, can I see it? I didn’t even know you still had it,” you said. “I didn’t take you for that kind of sentimentality.”

He went to the back of the truck and hopped in with his usual athletic grace that still irritated the crap out of you. He barely put any effort into staying fit. Minimal cardio, minimal weight training, and he was good at everything. He went to the box you hadn’t even noticed he’d put on the truck. It was inside a bungee’d bin and he pulled out the box you’d seen at the cabin with “Nova” written on it. Sliding the box to the end, you were there to open the tailgate and join him when he sat down.

He opened the box for you to see all of the contents loose inside. Most of the letters that he kept were in their envelopes and only a few loose cards and pages. He’d kept a few things you’d given him, including a bottle of sand from the lake trip when you were kids, to the trinket you won at the arcade in Dallas. Something caught your eye at the bottom of the box, though.

“Are you kidding me right now?” you couldn’t believe your eyes. You immediately recognize the white and black material and black nylon straps.

“I guess it wasn’t so bad after all,” he shrugged.

“Now I know why you wouldn’t let me dig in the box at the cabin,” you said. “But why now? And how did you even sneak this out of my apartment? How did you find it?”

“When I was looking for stuff that belonged to fuckface to throw out. I had a moment of weakness. Look inside,” he said.

After you unzipped the main pouch, you looked inside to find a piece of folded paper. Opening it, you saw what might have been the first letter you ever wrote Jensen. You remembered the aquatic stationery that you’d been so happy to find. In the folds of the paper was the bottom half of the photo strip. The edges were worn and some of the edges of the pictures were damaged, but the important parts were still there.”

“I think you were laughing at some dumb face I was making. And that bottom one, that’s my favorite,” he said, shyly. “You still look at me like that, you know.”

It was the picture of your forehead on his that got you, the bottom picture. Your face had a happy smile, your hand on his chest next to his neck and your other arm around his shoulders. The look on his face and the body language of you both spoke volumes. You put the picture down and looked up at him, speechless.

“I thought about it… kissing you… really wished you had tried. I was too shy and scared of your dad to make a move,” he admitted.

You wiped your eyes, “Honestly, I wish I had too, but I was too scared and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing to even attempt it.”

“Me either,” he admitted, “but I was willing to find out, if you were.”

You couldn’t stop looking at the pictures. The top half was in your house and you’d seen them many times, but the bottom half was so different. There was an undeniable shift in the bottom. The top was just two kids having a good time. The bottom was two kids having a very intimate moment.

Jensen started putting things back in the box and gently took the photo strip from you. “Alright, let’s just pretend you didn’t see those.”

“Nope, too late. I already know the truth.”

“What’s that?”

You watched him put the box back in the bin and secure the bungee cords.

“Despite years of blatant denial, you are, in fact, a hopeless romantic, Jensen Ackles.”

He hopped down from the truck bed and stood directly in front of you, pushing your knees apart to stand closer. You locked your legs around him as your fingertips went under his shirt to caress his warm belly. His skin shuddered at your touch, his breath catching.

“Sweetheart… you tryin’a jump my bones on the side of the road?” he asked, not hating it.

“Maybe.”

“How long to your house?”

You eased up on him, but it was hard to not keep going.

“Not sure, but I think we’re at least four hours away, still,” you said.

“Grab on,” he said, then quickly added, “around my neck.”

You did as he asked, then he did the rest and carried you to the passenger side of the truck where he put you down. He did it like it was nothing, not even so much as a grunt. He took a moment to give your ass a smack before moving on to close the tailgate and get back inside the cab of the truck.

When you were back on the highway, your mind went back to Bart and Lill.

“Jay…I do need to talk to you about Whiskey Hollow and…” you trailed off. It wasn’t like one of your books hadn’t been turned into a movie before, but this time was different.

“Shoot,” he replied.

“You do like the series, right? And the characters? I mean, I did write Bart for you, specifically…” you really needed the validation from him.

“Yeah, I really do. Bart isn’t strictly me or any of the people you mentioned, but an amalgamation. I like him a lot. A good man who does the best he can and isn’t perfect. Bart’s backstory is good and it definitely explains why he is the way he is.” He gave you a pointed look, “I’d tell you if I thought it was shit.”

“Okay, good. Please always give me your honest opinion… when it’s work-related.”

“And if it’s not work-related?”

You smiled, “I always look good in whatever outfit I choose.”

He nodded once, “That won’t be a problem.”

“So… my agent was begging me to write a script for Whiskey Hollow rather than have another writer do it. She wants to shop it around to studios and see if anyone will pick it up. But I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve never written a script before and have no clue about what’s important. I want to do a good job and I need your help. I don’t want to embarrass myself, especially on my own story.”

“You won’t embarrass yourself,” he said. “Alright, hit me. How can I help?”

Over the next two hours, you wrote as fast as your brain and hands would allow. Thankfully, you’d adapted a shorthand method that made getting your flow of words out quickly without losing anything. Eventually, Jensen needed to pull over for gas and you both took the opportunity to use the restroom and grab some food for the ride, especially since you were sure there wasn’t anything to eat at your house.

“What’s all this?” he pointed at your purchases on the counter.

“Milk. Bread. Jelly. Peanut butter. Chips,” you said. “Pretty standard stuff.”

“How are we going to make sandwiches in the truck?”

“Very carefully.”

You pointed him in the direction of the paper plates and plastic cutlery to complete your grocery shopping. You paid for all of the food and gas for this stop and were back on the road fairly quickly after. Jensen held out the keys to you and told you he needed a nap. Gladly, you took the keys and got comfy in his truck. It never failed to amaze you at how quickly he could shut off his brain and go to sleep. Before he was totally out, you let him know you needed to make some calls and he gave you a thumbs-up without opening his eyes.

When you got your earbuds in, you pushed a button on your phone, then said, “Call Jen.”

She picked up on the third ring.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

“I told you,” you spoke quietly, “I needed to find Jensen.”

“That was almost a month ago, Y|N.”

“It took a minute.”

“Does that mean you found his fine ass?” Jen asked.

“I sure did,” you still kept your voice low. “About three weeks ago.”

“Three weeks ago?! So you found him almost right away? What the hell were you doing? Were you doing him?”

“Shh! Yes, we were making up for lost time. I’m with him right now, in his truck, and we’re going to my house. I know I don’t have to remind you, but please keep this quiet. We’re going to need to go to Texas at some point.”

Jen was only just beginning to process what you’d told her. “How was the sex? Was he any good? Did you scream?”

“Jen!”

“I can hear your friend,” Jensen said, quietly.

“Oh my god, he can hear you,” the blush quickly rose to your cheeks.

“No, go ahead, tell her. I want to hear your answer,” he paused. “Tell the truth,” he cracked open an eye.

“I’ll talk to you later, Jen,” you were mortified. “I need to call Janice, too.”

You disconnected the call and turned down the volume in your earbuds. You were about to call your manager, but Jensen was curious.

“Well?” he asked.

“Do you really want me to tell you?” you countered, hoping he would drop it.

“I can take constructive criticism,” he said.

You decided to just say it. “You are the only person to crack the code. A few have gotten close, but you… are masterful,” you couldn’t bear to look at him.

He gave a sleepy little fist pump and grin before crossing his arms over his chest again and closing his eyes. You waited a good twenty minutes before you attempted to call your agent, Jan. The two of you discussed the books you had going and what you’d been doing, then caught her up to the details about the script she wanted you to write.

“Sweetie,” she began, “you know I love that you have two secret identities, but you need to give me more to do. You have phenomenal numbers in BOTH fan bases. When will you let me get you on TV for some promotion? We really need an author reveal. Also, I have a big-wig on the hook for your script, really need you to get that to me as soon as you can, sweets.”

“I promise, I’m making progress. I bought the software. I have a consultant. I just need a few moments peace to crank the sucker out,” you liked Jan a lot, but there were times you wanted to kick her, not super, hard, but enough to leave a bruise.

“What would it take to get you out on a promotion circuit?”

“A miracle.” 

“Pretend I’m a magic genie. If we’re gonna do a reveal, let’s go big,” she said.

“I have conditions,” you said.

“Lay ‘em on me, sweetie. Genie Jan is ready,” she said.

“If you manage to sucker someone into buying the script… if the studio or producers give the green light… I will do TV with whomever is cast as Bart. I want it noted with emphasis that Jensen Ackles should be strongly considered for Bart. He is, after all, whom I was thinking of when writing Bart. I will do Seth Meyers with Jensen.”

“Jensen Ackles? Are you sure? Isn’t he kind of imploding right now? Aren’t they still looking for him?” Jan asked.

“He’s on my wishlist, Jan. He is the one who should play Bart,” you reiterated.

“Sweetie, I understand. I just want the best possible outcome.”

“Anyway, I’m sure he’ll be found soon. That woman’s story isn’t ringing true, either. I think she was just trying to scam money out of him.”

“And you want Seth Meyers? Why not one of the Jimmy’s?” she asked.

“I’m a fan and I dated a Jimmy, It didn’t go well. Besides, Seth is funny and the only late night show I’ll watch,” you explained.

“If I can get you on Seth’s show, you’ll do it and not back out?”

“My conditions are simple. I will do it, but it must be like that.”

“Alright, I can work with that,” she said.

You ended the call shortly after that and felt a lot better about things moving forward, not just with your career, but also with Jensen. When you did get home, you were going to look into that “hussy”, as Donna called her, and see what you could find out, maybe enlist the help of Shelley. You just wanted to ask the woman why she was targeting Jensen. You drove on in silence thinking of all the things you wanted and needed to do when you got to the house. Before you knew it, you were driving 25 mph down the main drag of your hometown and Jensen stirred awake at the speed change.

As you got closer to your old apartment, you looked up and noted the light was on in the living room.

“Mom is still up,” you looked at the clock, 10:09 PM.

Jensen looked up at the windows as you stopped for the stop light. “It’s weird not going to your apartment.”

“I know. Before today, now, it didn’t bother me, but it does feel strange.” The light changed and you drove on toward the bridge. “I hope you like my house, though. I did a couple things with you in mind.”

“You did?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s for me, too, but I thought you’d find them appealing,” you said.

“You didn’t have to do that. Your apartment was great though,” he said. Curiosity got the better of him, “What things?”

“I’ll give you a tour when we get there,” you said, crossing the bridge that went over the river. “I’ve had to buy a lot of stuff just to maintain the land, it’s ridiculous, and I had to have out buildings built. I’m a proper adult.”

He snorted, “Do you use the equipment?”

Sometimes it was annoying how he could see through your bullshit so easily. “Sometimes. Shut up!” you laughed. “I hired a guy I went to school with to come out to mow and plow once a week and as needed. I use the mower to keep my trail growth down and the snowblower is hella cool.”

Jensen just stared at you as you turned onto your road.

“Stop looking at me like that, weirdo,” you pulled up to the gate and entered the, very particular to you and Jensen, code. You’d embraced your secret life, the one where you were a notable author with a hot and famous best friend, who had become your boyfriend. It was something like your own inside joke. If anyone had ever guessed how you were able to buy land and build a house, no one ever said anything to you. You found most people didn’t ask questions if they got paid well for their work and you were a generous tipper. Every little bit helps.

The gate came to life and rolled open, enhancing the anticipation. You really wanted him to like what you had created. When it opened and you pulled ahead and stopped for it to close before moving on. The driveway to your house was lit with small lights to lead the way. The house itself wasn’t visible from the road and you followed the driveway to the left and through the trees around a small hill. After the trees, the land opened up into a clearing where your house stood. Every time you drove through the trees and the house appeared, it struck you that the modern appearance of the home was so well complimented by its surroundings.

“Whoa. That’s… I don’t even know what…” Jensen sputtered.

“Good, though, right?” you were quite proud of your home.

“Yeah, I like it. I honestly didn’t know what to expect.”

You pulled around to the side where the garage doors were and parked in front of the middle door. When you hopped out and went to the hidden keypad by the door, Jensen crawled into the driver’s seat and pulled into the open garage space when the door fully opened. You went to the inside control panel to close the garage and turn on the lights.

The stark white interior was nearly blinding from driving in the dark for so long. Jensen had gotten out of the truck by then and was looking all around the inside of the garage. It didn’t take long for his eyes to land on the classic car in the third stall.

“What have we here?” he said, admiring the car.

He was about to cup his hands around his eyes to peek in the window when you said, “My dad’s car.”

Jensen immediately stood up straight without touching the car in the third stall. “Your dad’s?”

You nodded, “Mhm. I started looking for it before the pandemic. It was a bitch to do, but my aunt works in the treasurer’s office and hooked me up with the VIN. Made it a lot easier to track down.”

“Wait, this is his actual car?” You nodded. “How long was it gone? And what condition was it in when you got it?”

You sighed heavily. “It was in pretty bad shape. Dad sold it before I was even born. He loved it.” It was impossible to not be a little sad and a lot mad. You had put these details in letters you’d sent to Jensen in Austin. “She kept a lot more from you than I thought… I put all of this in the mail, Jay.” You tried to keep the anger out of your voice, but you knew it seeped in. If anything, you understood why she did it. You and Jensen were so close, but it still made you mad since you both had tried so hard to stay platonic.

He stood silent for a few moments, “Alright. Can we go inside and talk about this?”

He grabbed the bags out of the truck and followed you inside. You led him through the laundry room and into the main house. You noticed he looked around to take everything in. The house itself wasn’t huge, but you’d also gotten creative with the design. Hidden spaces, secret doors, everything you’d ever wanted in a house when you were a kid. 

Jensen put the bags on the counter in the kitchen and started putting things away. You got out a couple plates and started making the two of you something to eat. Silently, you handed him a plate with a pb&j on it.

He sighed loudly, “I asked her if she – misplaced anything from you. She denied it. It wasn’t just her jealousy. It was the lying and manipulation that hurt the most. I’m ashamed to say that I started to believe it. There was a lot more I wasn’t even aware of.” He took a bite of the sandwich. “I asked what her relationship with Dan was,” he continued. “She insisted nothing was going on and that he was stalking her.”

“Did you believe her?”

“At that point, I didn’t know what was real and what was a lie. After that, I knew not to trust her word.”

“I wouldn’t believe a single word that comes out of her mouth in the future, either.” Jensen looked at you with an expression that told you he was done for the moment.

“Finish up and I’ll show you around the house,” you told him.

He took another bite and talked with his mouth full, “All I’m interested in is the bedroom.”

“Your mother will be shocked at your table manners, sir,” you said. “Also, you’re a perv.”

“Stop. You’re the perv. I was sweet and innocent until I met you,” he countered.

“So now it’s my fault you’re like this?”

“I said what I said,” he smirked, looking you over, his eyes resting on his favorite places.

You didn’t know what to say either to his words, or his scrutiny. “Alright then,” was all you could muster.

Jensen woke you up in the morning in the most pleasant way. Eventually, you both made use of your extra large, spa shower. You couldn’t help but stare at him. You stood in the shower and stretched as the hot water ran over your body. You could see the reflection of Jensen behind you at the 2nd separate shower. He was already looking at you like you were his next meal…again. You turned to face him and returned the gaze. He’d always been fit, but the muscle he’d put on for The Boys, and the work on the mountain had maintained it, was something to behold. He stood staring back at you as he washed his torso, a little, pleased smile on his face.

“You’re staring,” he noticed.

You rinsed your hair, “It’s like looking at a marble statue.” You stepped across the stall to where he stood, reaching out to trace the lines of the muscles on his arms, shoulders, and torso. “Are you going to keep these?”

He stepped backwards into the water to rinse the soap. Stepping forward again, he flexed a little, “You like ‘em?”

“I don’t mind ‘em. It’s kinda hot, but you’re just hot anyway,” you said. Your fingers traced the ‘V’ that formed at his waist, loving the sounds it elicited from him. “Love the hair and beard, too. The beard needs a bit of a trim, but still, dirty hot look for you definitely works for me.”

“Depends on the next role, but the beard is driving me crazy. Takes too much damn time to maintain. Same with this mop,” he said finishing up his routine. He suspected if he didn’t get out of the shower soon, they would need to wash up again.

“Such little butt, though. Nice shape. Not flat, but little,” you observed.

You turned to grab your conditioner and Jensen shut off the water on his side.

“Do you want me to keep it?” he asked.

“It’s good for ‘sports’ but I would have climbed that scrawny kid I knew way back in the day,” you said. “That sounds terrible.”

“Not everyone can have a perfect ass like you,” he said and gave your butt a solid smack, the sound amplified by your surroundings.

Reeling, not only from the stinging of your buttock, but also from the rush of heat to your lady parts. Rubbing the now hot skin on your butt, you called after him, “I still have you!”

He just laughed and added, “Touche!” as he wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom. Almost as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, something felt off. His clothes were in the bedroom and needed to grab the bag. Brushing the feeling aside, he walked through her closet into the bedroom. His peripheral vision caught the small dark figure near the door at the same time as a soft gasp met his ears, making him freeze in his tracks. His hand immediately went to his towel to make sure it didn’t go anywhere.

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my daughter’s house?” the woman asked.

He pushed his shaggy hair back off his forehead with his free hand and turned to look at Y|N’s tiny mother.

“Hi Deb,” he said, feeling very, very self-aware as it took her a moment to recognize him.

“J-Jensen?! Oh my god!” She quickly covered her eyes. “I didn’t know you kids were back in town. I was just coming over to check on the house, water the mail and check the plants. Oh god, you know what I mean! Where’s Y|N?”

If it had been happening to anyone else, he might have found it funny how Y|N clearly got some of her more amusing traits from her mother. Instead, he was beyond mortified that her mother had now seen him nearly naked and obviously sleeping with her daughter. “Finishing up in the shower,” he hated the awkward pause. Pointing back toward the bathroom, he said, “I’m just going to go…” he trailed off and took long strides back through the closet to the bathroom.

Y|N was out of the shower in a robe and was putting her hair up in a towel when he walked in.

“Babe,” he waited for her to look up. “Your mom is here,” he pointed, “IN your room.”

You looked at Jensen and how pink he looked and nearly naked. One plush towel was the only thing saving his modesty. The image of your disheveled bed flashed into your mind’s eye and you’d obviously just gotten out of the shower right after Jensen.

“I guess I don’t have to tell her we’re together,” you chuckled.

“Do you have another one of those robes?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I’ll be right back,” you told him and gave him a quick kiss. “Don’t worry, Mom loves you.”

Quickly, you went to your room and gave your mom the “one second” hand signal, grabbed Jensen’s bag and took it to the bathroom for him. He mouthed a relieved “thank you” and took the bag from you. Back out in your room, your mom was still standing by the door waiting for you to return.

“Oh my god, honey, I didn’t know you were both here. I came in through the front door, I didn’t even know you were home. What happened out there? Is he okay? I think we were both pretty shocked,” she said all at once.

Your mom was well aware of what had been going on in Jensen’s personal life. Donna and she still talked fairly regularly. “It’s okay, Mom, he’ll live,” you chuckled. Your mom had a funny smile on her face. “How about you? Are you okay? Did you get an eyeful?” you teased.

She put her hand on your arm, “Honey.”

“I know,” you chuckled again.

“So you two got together finally?” She looked hopeful.

You smirked and thought of all the inappropriate things to say. “Yeah, we’re finally going to give ‘us’ a try. Please, don’t make a thing of it. I don’t want to jinx anything.”

“Y|N!” she smacked your arm. Her eyes went wide then a little teary. 

“You’re making it weird,” you told her. “He wants me to go with him to Texas and wherever else he needs to go. Guess I can quit the grocery store now.”

“You could have anyway. You don’t need that job at all,” she reminded you.

“I like the structure,” you told her.

“You know, I tried to call you.”

“I know. Soldier Boy threw me in the river and it was in my pocket,” you explained. “I made him buy me a new one.”

“Soldier Boy?”

“The reason he looks Hulked out. He was at his batcave and the physical work kept the muscle. It’s kinda hot.”

“I’ll say,” she mumbled.

“I’m telling him you said that.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Okay,” you laughed. “We’ll meet you downstairs, okay?”

You shuffled her out the door and gently closed it behind her. When you heard her on the steps, you went back to your bathroom. Jensen stood in there, fully dressed, looking like he was finding stuff to do until it was safe for him to step out.

“Smells expensive in here. Did you try all of my products, or just the ones that you thought smelled nice?” you asked.

He was studying the bottles of perfume. Finding the one he was looking for, he picked it up and showed it to you saying, “This one is my favorite. Warm and spicy, like you.”

“That’s my favorite, too,” you admitted. It was one you had found in one of the little shops near your hotel when you visited him in Rome. “I told my mom we would come down to talk with her. She’s going to want to know what the plan is for Texas and after.” You took the bottle of perfume from him and opened your robe to spray it on your body and put it back on the vanity.

“If we make it out of this room,” he said, snaking his hands inside the robe and pulling you to him. His hands moved over your bare skin.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Ackles,” you warned him.

His full lips met yours, parting for his tongue to gently mingle with yours, stoking the embers that seemed to always be threatening to ignite around him. His right hand went up your back between your shoulder blades while his left reached down to grasp your ‘perfect’ flesh. Your heart raced in your chest despite the somewhat tender moment. He broke the kiss, but held you still, not wanting to fully break the moment.

“Love you like crazy, Nova,” his eyes were closed, forehead touching yours.

Despite the heat from your body and his, his deep voice and breath on your face gave you goosebumps. “Love you so much, my sweet boy.” You smiled with your eyes closed as your hand went up the back of his neck.

“You better put some clothes on before we go down,” he said, sounding a little like Dean, his lips brushing your forehead before he kissed you.

He left you standing there in a little daze to collect yourself and get ready as quickly as you could to meet with your mother.

Mercifully, by the time you and Jensen went down to the kitchen, your mother had rallied and was pretending like she hadn’t just seen Jensen nearly naked. She was looking through the cupboards for something.

“Honey, where’s your Keurig pods?” she asked after hearing you enter the kitchen, but she still kept opening cupboard doors.

You went to the pantry and showed her what you had for your selections.

“You don’t have any coffee?” she asked.

“I only keep that around for you. When you were here last, you used the last one. We only got here last night, so I haven’t gone to the store yet.”

You thought you heard a grumble from behind you.

“I didn’t know you would be here either,” you said over your shoulder to Jensen.

“Well, how long are you kids going to be in town? Do you want to put in an order at the store? I could go pick it up for you,” she offered.

You moved to the end of the island to stand next to where Jensen was sitting.

“We haven’t really talked about how long we will be here. Jensen needs to go back to Texas to deal with some stuff and I want to go with him. We’re not in a huge rush to get down there, but we do need to go, soonish.”

Jensen nodded. “We didn’t get much of a chance to talk about it on the way here. I was thinking we could ease into it. Take care of as much as we can here, then go down, maybe in a week or less.”

“I think it’s going to be crazy once we get into the full swing of your career,” you looked at him.

“Um, your career is doing pretty well. I’ll probably be the one keeping up with you,” he said.

Your mom looked at you with wide eyes. “Are you going to go public? You, Y|N, with who you really are? I mean about your writing.”

You nodded. “At some point. That’ll make my manager and agent very happy…and publisher.”

Your mom clasped her hands together. “Oh thank god. Please do it soon! It has been so hard to keep this a secret for so long, especially from your brother. I think he suspects something but I don’t know what.”

“Drug dealer,” you joked.

Jensen perked up, “You didn’t tell him that, did you?”

“No,” you admitted, “but he probably thinks that.”

“No, he doesn’t,” your mom admonished, “but he will draw that conclusion soon if you don’t tell him soon. He wondered how you were able to build this house. So far, he’s buying your NRC cover.”

“The government pays well,” you noted.

“Be that as it may, you’ve got to at least tell your brother the truth,” she said.

“So he can ask for even more money?” you grumbled. “It would be one thing if it weren’t so frequent.”

“I’ll handle him, even if you don’t tell him. His feelings will be hurt if you don’t tell him before you go public.”

You looked at Jensen. He shrugged, “Deb has a point.”

“Yeah, I know,” you admitted. It had been a long time since it all began. He didn’t really ‘deserve’ to know, in your opinion, but he should know, you supposed. “I guess I better make a to-do list of shit to get done while we’re here.”

“I know, and he’s terrible about keeping a secret. Anyway, I should go,” your mom said. “You two probably have a lot to take care of while you’re here.” She picked up her purse. “Let me know if you need me to run any errands for you.”

“Thanks, Mom,” you said.

She patted Jensen’s shoulder, “I was always rooting for you kiddo. I’m happy for you both.”

Your mom was going to leave it at that, but Jensen turned toward her. “Thanks, Deb,” he said and hugged her. “I feel like we’ve gotten closer today.”

They parted and your mom was blushing again.

“I’m so sorry, I was just so surprised,” she said.

Jensen chuckled, “Don’t worry about it. It was good to see you.”

“It was good to see you, too,” she said innocently. Then the realization of the double meaning washed over her features before she practically ran to the door.

“Now I understand where you get it,” Jensen smiled.

“She’s my mom, not blind. She’s always appreciated a hot guy,” you told him. You reached out to touch his neck. “This grizzly look is working, big time.”

“I don’t know if I can wait for Texas to get this cut. Do you have any scissors, razors, clippers or anything?” he asked.

“I do, but you’re getting the dullest ones I have,” you told him. You sighed, “We can probably get some at the store when we get groceries.” 

You could feel the cosmic pressure to get back to work coming from your agent, publisher, and manager. You gave Jensen a quick tour of the house but you eventually ended up at your desk in your office. You tapped the ctrl button a few times to wake up your system. Jensen left for a few moments while you opened your emails. You knew he’d noticed your secret, but you waited and kept reading.

After you answered a couple emails, Jensen reappeared to ask, “What’s with this wall?”

You tried to look confused, “It’s a bookshelf? I think I need one of those cool rolling ladder things.”

“You should definitely do that,” he pointed a finger at you for emphasis, but turned back toward the wall of shelves. “But…something is off…”

“What do you mean? Is something out of place?” you got up to join him. He was so close to discovering your secret.

Jensen scanned the shelves until his eyes fell on a book that seemed out of place from the others.

“Nova, you are the coolest chick I’ve ever known.” He stepped forward and tipped his head to the side to read the spine of one of the books. “Aerospace Engineering. Now I know you do a lot of research, and are smart as hell, but I read all of the Whiskey Hollow books and Bart wasn’t engineering shit.”

“Okay, smartass. How about you check the inside cover. It’s inscribed to me,” you gave him a playful shove.

Jensen reached for the top of the book to pull it off the shelf. When he grasped the top corner of the book and began to pull, there was a soft click and the bookshelf moved.

“No you did not do a secret library door! Where does it go? Can I go in? There isn’t a trapdoor for me to fall through is there? I can’t believe you Scooby-Doo’d your office.”

You went to the bookcase and pushed on the right side while pulling on the left. The bookcase moved easily and quietly opened like a regular door. It locked into the open position and the lights inside the room turned on to reveal both a spiral staircase going down and a room you had turned into a quiet office for your zoom meetings. It worked great for the meetings where you needed to focus and not get distracted, looking out the window.

It was cute to watch him. He looked like a kid in a candy store. The walls in the open space of the room were covered in a mural of muted greens and grays, displaying a misty forest scene and the lighting was adjustable to your mood.

Jensen stuck his head inside the booth and poked around looking at the mic and camera, but his eyes kept going toward the staircase.

“There is a trapdoor next to the staircase, but it isn’t a drop door,” you said as you motioned to the stairs, “After you, sir.”

Jensen went to the spiral staircase and looked down into the darkness.

“Make sure you use the handrail,” you told him.

Eager to discover more surprises, he rested his hand on the rail and began the descent. The lights turned on and got brighter as he went down each step. He immediately stopped, lifted his hands and took another stop to test his theory. He then ran his hands up and down the rails and the lights dimmed or brightened with the motions.

“Coo-ooo-ool,” he said then ambled all the way down the stairs which ended facing directly into the big surprise you’d incorporated into your house, just for him. “You did this for me?”

He went to look at each guitar, instrument and piece of equipment you had gathered for his in-home recording studio.

“How? Why? Babe… this is too much,” he said, though his voice was still far away, exploring and marveling at the gift.

“I hoped,” you began, “I hoped, that someday, you would be here and could use it. And… that you and I would be where we are now… You probably don’t even know you sing along to the radio, like, all the time. If you’re not singing, it’s humming. I wanted you to have a place like this where you could be creative if you wanted to. You never know when inspiration might hit.”

He was still quiet looking at things, “I tried to involve you in this, but I called some guys you know and they helped me pick out the right pieces and equipment,” you explained. “I didn’t mean for this to be a surprise. I just wanted you to be happy here. Happy to come visit.”

Jensen put down the acoustic guitar he’d been strumming and crossed the floor to where you stood watching him. He stood over you looking down into your eyes. You saw they had gone a deep green color as he looked into yours. His hands cupped your face and neck as he spoke softly to you.

“I want you to hear me and take this to heart, my Nova, as long as you’re with me, I’m a happy guy. I hope I never made you feel like I didn’t want to be around you. Hell, I even asked you to move closer to me,” he pulled you to him, his lips pressing to yours, one arm around you, the other touching your face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around when you needed me, but I promise, I’m all yours.” He turned his head to the side, leaning down to kiss you again.

He broke the kiss but didn’t pull away. You were still floating somewhere close to heaven with your eyes still closed.

“It was Steve, wasn’t it?” his voice rumbled, breath on your face. His fingertip traced your lower lip.

“Steve who?” you were in a love daze.

“Carlson,” he kissed your jaw near your ear.

“Mhm,” you ran your hand through his hair, “and Jason, too.”

He moved to your neck and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “You’re mine.”

“They really liked helping me,” you prodded. “They’ve even been here before you. …and stayed overnight.”

“Never again,” he said against your neck, his beard scratching your skin.

“You’re not jealous, are you?” you asked, playfully.

The way he rocked and swayed with your body, it almost felt like you were dancing.

“You’ll never have to wonder where I am, or how much I love you, ever again,” he said.

“Why are you so sweet to me?”

“I give back what I receive,” he said simply, kissing you softly. “You set a high bar.”

You composed yourself and remembered you needed to get back to work.

“Hey, give it all a try and the amps. I won’t be able to hear a thing with the soundproofing,” you went back toward the stairs. “I really need to get back to work.”

He gave you a look of longing, but also a thumbs-up as a signal that he heard you and was already looking at his options. When you got upstairs, you left open the bookcase so you could hear him anyway. He could sing the alphabet and you would want to hear him. Steve and Jason had both been at your house at the same time for one visit and they had their own little jam session down there to test out all of the equipment. With all of the soundproofing, being in the basement, and closing the bookcase, you’d forgotten they were even there until they emerged several hours later.

Once you’d gotten resettled at your desk, you were disappointed to find that your unread emails and open documents were still there, unread and unfinished. Resolving to at least get through your emails, you trained your focus to your computer screen.

When the emails were all read and responses sent, you decided to take a break at your desk and listen to the music coming from below. You heard the last of “The Sounds of Someday” before he started “City Grown Willow”.

The lyrics to “City Grown Willow” had always resonated with you and you didn’t know why. It just felt like it was mean for your ears. It just hit differently now. The video he and Steve had done… the lyrics… it was almost like he’d been calling out to you with the song. You passed off the notion as wishful thinking and got back to work on the screenplay. It would be the introduction of Hobart and Lillian to the viewers who may not be familiar with the books, but also, you wanted to stay somewhat true to the first book, while assuming the viewers half-way know what’s going on in the universe.

The software package you bought was a life-saver and you were flying through pages and pages of script. Dialog had always been easy for you. Hearing the character’s voices had always been very clear for you. Thankfully, describing setting didn’t need to be wildly descriptive and it was the content of the scenes that were more important.

Whiskey Hollow had lived in your mind for years, but it was somewhat difficult to reintroduce the characters because they had come so far since the beginning. Thankfully, you still had your written notes and outlines from your original book and that was an incredible help. With your notes handy, you wouldn’t reveal too much, too soon.

It wasn’t until Jensen arrived with a bowl of cereal and a drink that you realized how much time had passed or that he’d even left the studio.

“Figured you might need that,” he said, pulling up a chair to eat with you.

“I’m sorry, Jay, I got in a groove and I had to go with it,” you explained.

“No worries,” he waved you off. “I got carried away down there, too. You did great with it. Whole thing,” he waved his hand in a circle, “A plus.”

“Well, you can thank Jason and Steve. They were a big help.”

“It was your idea. So I’m thanking you. I can’t believe you did that.”

You only shrugged. It didn’t seem extreme to you. You’d only wanted a space for Jensen to be creative in a way you knew he would love and not be held back by anything it could be lacking…but you did realize the truth of it.

“I think that, though my brain knew we were not a couple, my heart didn’t listen and wanted…to express my love for you,” you couldn’t believe you admitted it out loud. “Some people’s love language is touch, mine is outlandish gifts.”

He nodded as he chewed his cereal. “I know you don’t love people touching you, pretty much ever, but I love that you let me. Touch is my language and… it makes me feel important, special, that you shower me with your attention.” He took another bite of cereal, “I put a lot of what’s going on in here,” he tapped his temple, “into the songs I write with Steve. It’s not a love language, exactly, but… it also is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’ve heard me perform. I’ve seen your vinyls of mine…” he was getting shy. “Do you have a favorite song?”

“Off My Mind,” you answered quickly.

Jensen smiled, “Yeah, that’s a good one. We ran with that one. I was feeling a certain kind of way with that one.” 

“Did you write that?”

“It was mostly Steve, but I put in my two cents. Any others, maybe off volume 2?” he asked.

““City Grown Willow”,” you answered.

“"City Grown Willow" is about you,” he said simply. 

“What?”

“Us,” he said, pointing back and forth between you and himself.

When you just sat staring at him in confusion and disbelief, he continued, “That video call, that one in December 2019.”

“The one where you didn’t get my spot on Edna Mode impression?”

“I know who she is now. Good movie.”

“I know…”

“Can I tell you this or not?”

“I’m sorry, please, go on,” you chuckled.

“After that call, it kicked things in motion. You were on my mind a lot and I needed time to process. Wrote the song to kind of push things out and into being.”

You remembered that call quite well and what he’d just said made you ask, “So talking to me made you realize that you had love feelings for me. You tried to stay with Dee, ultimately divorcing. Then you write the song. Then you go out and shag everything with boobs. Get into a situation. Text me the most cryptic text you’ve ever sent, and that’s saying something, and went into hiding hoping I would come find you.”

“When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound as good. We can edit that when our grandkids ask us about our story.”

“We’re having grandkids?”

Jensen shrugged and took a drink of the milk in his bowl. “We’ve been ‘shagging’ like rabbits for weeks…I know I wasn’t using anything, were you?”

“Holy crap,” you said. “I didn’t even think about it. I’m getting a little – seasoned. We better get to the store and pick up some tests, just in case. I didn’t think you wanted kids, Jay.”

“I didn’t think I did. I didn’t think it would be a good idea until now,” he said.

“What changed your mind?” you wanted to know.

“The right partner,” he answered. He seemed apprehensive, “I want you to know it’s okay if we don’t. I know you went through stuff with Dan…”

“For the record, before you say more, you came for me when I needed you, too. And while I was very sad to lose that pregnancy, I didn’t want to have a child with him. I felt really guilty about that for a long time, but I knew he wasn’t the one.”

“--are we doing this?” he asked.

“I don’t know. This is kind of out of nowhere, Jay. I don’t even know if my body can handle it at this point. What if I decide you’re a douchebag and kick you to the curb? What if I’m not the best thing since sliced bread and you decide you want soup?”

“Sweetheart, I’m a sandwich guy and that’s not gonna change. Not now, not ever,” he said with finality.

“You’re such a dork, though! Oh my god. What if I’m pregnant right now and this kid gets your sense of humor? I don’t know if I could take it from two of you!” 

“You’d love it,” he said playfully.

You avoided his gaze for a few moments, feeling a little overwhelmed. You hadn’t even thought about your cycle since before you left. You didn’t even know if you could have kids at this point in your life. It was possible, of course, but risky. “Jay, let’s not rush things, okay? I… I’m a little skittish after everything. Dan and Grant and all of the other disasters, I just… they all cheated on me and treated me like shit, used me for whatever reason… As my friend, I trust you implicitly…”

“I understand,” he raised a hand, as though to indicate, ‘say no more’. “I don’t want to rush either. I’m just saying if it happens, I’m going to be happy about it, and if it doesn’t, I’m good, too. I love what we have going on right now, too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Babe. I promise. You can trust me. Always.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go get some groceries,” he said.

“Hold on now,” you said, finishing your cereal and milk. “How long do you plan on being here? I don’t want to buy a bunch of food only to throw it out.”

He leaned back in his chair, extending his legs to go across your lap. Absently, your hands rested on his legs. Jensen stretched his whole body shit his hands clasped on top of his head.

“How does staying the week and leaving on Saturday morning sound? IF we drive all day, we’d get there Saturday night.”

“Do you have your own place down there, or did you get to keep the house?” you asked.

“I let her keep the house,” he said. “It was never really mine. She picked just about everything. I got a little place on Lake Austin. It’s small, but it is secure, has a good view and access to the lake.”

“What did you do with the Impala,” you were suddenly fearful. “You still have it, right? Tell me she didn’t try to take it from you.”

“No, I made it clear there would be pushback if she tried. Clif is looking after it for me, for now. Also, she wanted a prenup and I signed it. I don’t go after her stuff, nor she mine. Another reason I didn’t want to have kids with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“If we’d had a kid, she could get half of my shit and alimony and child support.”

A thought sprung to your mind and you didn’t know if you should ask it or not.

“I can see your wheels spinning. Just ask.”

“Is there any-thing that is going to come back and bite you in the ass?” you asked.

“No?” he pulled his legs from your lap.

“Jay… I don’t trust her. I just get the feeling this isn’t over with her. She’s going to lose her mind when she finds out about us.”

“She can be mad all she wants. Divorce was final four months ago.”

“Okay, let’s go get some food,” you said, not wanting to discuss it any further. You just couldn’t shake that feeling of dread regarding anything to do with his ex wife. She didn’t strike you as one to give up on someone she wanted, or let go of a goal. She played the long-con for years and did what she could to keep you away from Jensen during that time.

“Can we make your pasta?” he asked.

You grabbed your bowl. “I told you you’d get hooked on it.”

Jensen drove you both into town to the local grocery store. Your little town has changed a lot over the years, including the grocery store. When you were growing up, there were two stores. Nowe there was only one and it was in a brand new building and location.

Jensen wore jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and a trucker hat. He looked funny with his hair smashed down and his beard sticking out. It was the little things that mattered though. He took your hand when you walked through the parking lot. Little touches as you shopped. The need to be separate, to hide your feelings, was gone.

People said hello to you both. Jensen got some second looks, but nothing to make them stop and ask questions. A few of the people you worked with stopped to chat and Jensen continued on shipping. When he found you again, your former boss, former classmate, and former neighbor, Brian was chatting you up.

“You look great, Y|N. You look really happy. What have you been doing?” he asked.

Apparently, Brian hadn’t noticed Jensen approaching. You turned at the sound of the cart and Jensen making noise as he got closer. Somehow, he’d taken on a rougher version of Dean, one who’d seen too much and he looked quite imposing.

“Me. She’s been doing me, Brian,” he said reading his nametag. 

The blush in your face was rising. He could never just be cool when a guy was talking to you.

“Brian, this is Jay. Jay, this is Brian, whom I just told I quit. I’ve also known him since we were kids,” you introduced your guy to your friend.

“Huh. Me too,” Jensen said. “Good to meet you, Brian.” He extended his hand to the other man. “Baby, I got us set for the week. Are you ready to go home?” his voice was full Dean and half an octave lower.

Dominance Asserted.

“Yes, hon, I’m ready. Did you find what you wanted?” you replied.

“Sure did,” he planted a kiss on you. He pulled you and the cart with him, leaving Brian behind you.

The two of you went to the register and a high school kid you didn’t know rang up your selections. She was quick and friendly and barely gave Jensen any attention. You paid and thanked her and left with Jensen pushing the cart to the truck.

“Jay? You good?” you were putting bags into the back of the truck.

“Do you know everyone here?” he asked.

You nodded, “Kinda. It’s a pretty small town and I did work here… Didn’t like Brian, huh?”

He shook his head, “Nope. He was looking at you like you were a full meal after being half-starved.”

“Seriously? I’ve known him since his family came to town. Literally my next-door neighbor.”

“Yep, dead serious. Maybe he didn’t ‘see’ you then, but he does now. Does Br-i-an know how you wrecked your friend’s bike when you were seven?”

Jensen put the cart away with emphasis. It crashed to a stop in the coral.

“Jay!” he stopped in front of you. “Only my immediate family, Lance’s family, and you know about that accident. My love,” you patted his chest, “wild horses couldn’t take me from you, you know that, right?”

He grumbled, “Nova, I don’t think you realize how hot you are. You could wear a burlap sack and I’d still want to do dirty things with you. People are always drawn to you. Friggin Glen practically ran to talk to you.”

“Glen is an old man,” you laughed, “and you were being an aloof mountain man. I think he was worried for me.”

“Old, not dead,” he said.

“Ooookay, I think you’re blowing things out of proportion. I know who I’m going home with and it sure as shit isn’t Brian…who is a total douche, by the way. Constantly cheats on his wife. And definitely not with crusty Glen. I’m the one who is supposed to be neurotic, not you.”

He sighed heavily, “It’s just that… I’ll tell you later. Let’s get out of here.”

At your house, you and Jensen got the groceries put away and he’d gotten back to his normal self. You hadn’t forgotten what he’d said and your curiosity was killing you. It had gotten close enough to dinner that the two of you could start preparing food.

Jensen helped cut the tomatoes while Y|N did the rest of the food prep. She hated cutting the tomatoes and it was the least he could do to help out if she was willing to do the rest. By the time the water was boiling, he had half of the tomatoes done and in the bowl where she was steadily adding the green onions and other ingredients. When the tomatoes were added to the bowl, he excused himself to get cleaned up for dinner and grabbed the bag that held his purchases from the pharmacy.

Upstairs in the bathroom he pulled the boxes out of the bag and saw the pregnancy tests at the bottom. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to be a father, but if Y|N was pregnant, he was happy to be a parent with her. Seeing them also reminded him of things he didn’t want to remember. He had to tell himself that Y|N was not at all like Dee and wouldn’t do what she had done. Normally, he was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but the last few years had severely tested his resolve.

He set up the clippers and got to work. He didn’t take off too much since he didn’t know what the next job would need… if he got another job. He just hoped there would be a next job. Tomorrow, he would start making calls. Hopefully his career was salvageable. 

Y|N had asked him if he wanted to retire. He supposed she asked because she already knew the answer. He didn’t want to retire and she had already pulled him out of headspace that had been quickly going down that path. It was hard being around her again and not think about all of the things Dee had been trying to brainwash him with. Despite knowing Y|N so well and trusting her, Dee had managed to cast doubt inside him.

“Everything is going to work out,” Y|N had told him. “Tomorrow, I’m going to show you how to use everything and you’re going to get back on track. Maybe you can finally start that production company you’ve always wanted to do, too. Maybe quietly start developing shows, actively look for new ideas and writers who are also in love with you.”

Dee had never said anything like that to him, never been so encouraging. He should have known not to doubt Y|N. She was always in his corner and had never waivered. He flipped on the clippers and set about taming his overgrown beard. There was no denying she made him happy. Hell, he couldn’t get enough of her. All he wanted to do was be around her, to touch her, to love her. It was nice to shower affection on her and have it returned rather than withheld. After all she had been through, it seemed like she needed it, too. Maybe they just needed it from one another. 

You took the candle stick holders from the mantle and put them on the table in the dining room. The pasta definitely wasn’t a romantic dinner, but you wanted to make it special somehow. Jensen was probably going to be very busy in the lead up to going back to Texas and you had a lot of writing you needed to get done. That morning was a good start, but there was so much more to do.

You were busy getting the candles set up and the bowls dished when Jensen reappeared, looking very over-dressed for a simple home meal. And yet, also slightly casual. He was rolling up the sleeves on a white, button down shirt, which was neatly tucked into black dress pants. No belt. No socks. Somehow, he’d managed to tame his glorious mane of hair and had it brushed back from his face. His tan skin enhancing his good looks and green eyes.

“Whoa,” you heard yourself say.

He looked up with his eyes and gave you a wry smile as he finished cuffing his sleeve.

“I am wildly underdressed…It’s really not fair that you make this whole combo look so fucking hot. Absolutely ridiculous.”

“You can take your clothes off,” he put his hands in his pockets, not moving from the dining room entry. He could see you thinking about going to change your clothes. “No. Not change. Off. Or as you are.”

Goddaaaaaamn. He raised an eyebrow in question at you. “I choose my modesty, I guess.”

“Hmm.” He entered the room and pulled a chair out for you to sit at the head of the table. He pulled the palm of your hand to his lips, your fingers touching his beard, which felt softer.

The man made you feel giddy inside. Of course, you’d been friends forever and he’d always given your heart a rush, but your relationship had shifted dramatically the day you found him at his cabin. 

“Jay – you don’t have to try to be someone else for me, you know that, right?” you asked. “You don’t have to be Dean, or anyone else. I just want my friend and confidant.

Jensen seated himself to your right. “I’m not trying to be anyone else. Now that you and I are together, I get to show you all sides of me…the ones I couldn’t show you until you found me on that mountain.”

You took a bit of food and reached for his hand. He took it and held it on the table. “You held back?”

He nodded, “Mhm, big time.” His thumb stroked the top of your hand.

“Me, too,” you admitted. “Like every time. Was it like that for you, too?”

He nodded again, taking a smaller bite, “Had to.”

A couple of bites passed with him holding your hand on the table top. “Were you –in love–with me–the whole time, too? Cuz–I was–with you.”

Jensen let go of your hand, used his napkin, then leaned way over to kiss you. “Mhm.”

It took you a few moments to collect yourself after that. You knew you would never get tired of hearing him say things like that to you. When your heart and stomach stopped jittering, you got out your phone  and told your sound system to play music. You and Jensen chatted over your meal and you were using your elbow and the palm of your hand to hold up your head. You couldn’t help but stare at him. His skin was tan, hair somewhat lightened due to being in the sun, his green eyes shining. White button down shirt highlighting his already ridiculously good looks. The music was playing and invading your thoughts while you appreciated the view.

“Can you dance like John Travolta?” you asked.

His fork stopped before reaching his lips, “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Only John Travolta can dance like John Travolta.”

“Hmm,” you smirked. “Stayin’ Alive’ was playing when it finally hit you who Jensen had been reminding you of with his glorious mane. “Barry Fucking Gibb!”

“Maurice Gibb,” he said confused. “The hell are we doing, naming BeeGees?”

You sat staring at him, both shocked and proud of yourself for finally pin-pointing who he’d been reminding you of.

“Oh my god!” you laughed and clapped your hands over your mouth. “No! You’re reminding me of Barry Gibb!”

“That’s not funny.”

“Yes it fucking is!’ you laughed. “Oh god, do I think Barry Gibb is hot?”

“That’s it, it’s coming off tomorrow,” he grumped.

You sat considering his thick hair. You’d really gotten to like running your fingers through it. “We could really complete the look with a spectacular blowout.”

“Woman, if you come near me with a blow dryer, I swear…”

“You’ll spank me?”

He put his fork down and wiped his mouth. “You’re filthy. You’ve spent too much time around ex-cops and ex-military.”

“No, I’ve always been like this, I just couldn’t say it before. You always had a lady on your arm,” you paused, “Does it bother you?”

He smirked, “No. I guess not. Guess we need to get to know each other again.”

“In a new way,” you agreed.

When you woke the next morning, it was not to Jensen’s kisses. He wasn’t even in the bed with you. You’d reached to touch the spot where he had lain and it was cold. Still waking up. Your brain wasn’t processing information. You looked around trying to figure out where he’d gone. Only briefly, you wondered if you’d dreamed it all. Then the sound of a song softly sung reached your ears. It wasn’t quite the deeper tone of Steve’s voice, but you recognized “Off My Mind” right away. 

Getting out of bed, you went into your bathroom and found Jensen in front of the mirror with the trashcan on the counter under him. He hummed the song when he was on his neck, then would vocalize the lyrics when he cleaned the counter of the bits that missed the trash.

Catching you watching, he said, “Good morning, Sunshine.”

You thought maybe you grunted in response. Jensen asked, “You gonna miss it?” He was taking off what was left of the beard. He turned the clippers back on and another soft plop of beard landed in the bin.

Moving to where he stood, you leaned against the counter with your back to the mirror. You’d caught a glimpse of yourself and were not impressed. You shrugged slightly, “It’ll be nice to see your face again. Are you taking it all off?”

“I was thinking I’d leave some. Dean still looks back at me sometimes,” he said. “I should have just taken it all off last night. Thought I’d be able to stand it a little longer.”

“Do you miss him?” you asked.

He nodded and continued taking the beard down to a thin layer. 

“I miss him, too. It’s okay with me if he shows up once in a while. It was really hard watching that last episode,” you paused, remembering. “I probably won’t ever watch it again, though.”

“That bad?”

“That traumatizing,” you said. You could feel yourself getting emotional. “Not only did I have to watch Dean die, I felt like I was watching you die, too. You and Dean are so intertwined, it felt so real. To have Dean go out like that… the writers did you dirty. I get why they did it, but I hate it! Dean deserved to be happy and have a life, too.” The tears were welling up. “If you ever bring him back, please, let someone love him. Someone who loves him for exactly who he is.” The tears broke over your cheeks.

He took a step to the side to hold you, “Baby, I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I know!” you mumbled into his chest, still crying. “You had me on radio silence and I had to suffer alone.”

“He had to die sometime,” he rubbed your back.

“Not like that! Not so young! They barely left room for you guys to come back. And don’t give me that bullshit about COVID and needing to make changes. They did not need to kill Dean in a dirty BARN with a random piece of absurdly large rebar in shitty lighting. Give me Dabb’s phone number.”

He squeezed you once more before letting you go and resuming shaving.

“I’m not giving you his number,” he said.

“Well…okay,” you sputtered, “but I’m going to fix it. I’m gonna plot out a whole thing and my sweet Dean will live.”

“Like fan fiction?” he asked, still shaving. Large clumps of beard falling into the trash can.

“No, not like fan fiction, butthole. Like a fully plotted out, written scripts that will fucking resolve that bullshit.”

“Don’t you have a whole movie to write?” he asked.

“Listen, Ackles,” you gave him tone and he grinned knowing he zinged you. “O’ll make it happen. Just you wait.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “You do that. Can I help plot it out with you?”

“Of course!” you were feeling better now and excited about the prospect of potentially bringing your favorite character back to life.

Jensen put the final guard on the clippers and ran it over his face. He made sure he got any long pieces he may have missed, then cleaned up the mess he’d made on the counter. You were patiently waiting for him to show you his face. It still surprised you how long his hair had gotten, though.

“How long were you growing out your hair, for real?” you asked. “You were up there a couple months, but this grow out is a good six months or more.”

“About that,” he agreed.

“Do you want me to take some length off? I have scissors somewhere,” you offered. “Can’t guarantee it’ll look good, but I’ll leave enough a pro can fix it.”

“Knock yourself out,” he agreed and sat on your vanity chair.

Grabbing a towel, all of your hair clips, brush and comb, you got ready to cut Jensen’s hair. You draped the towel around his shoulders and reached around from behind to clip the towel together in front of him.

She brushed his hair, running her fingers through with each pass. Her nails scratched his scalp as she seemingly massaged his head.

“Mm. Your scalp is tense. How is your scalp tense?” 

“Might be because I have a nearly naked woman dancing around and touching me all over,” he remarked.

She looked down at her bare legs under his shirt. “So…if I lifted my arms above my head like this,” she flashed him, “that do anything for ya?”

It really did. He didn’t know why it was so hot when women wear their partner’s clothes, but it was. The shape of her ass just barely concealed.

“Yep. Like it. Like it a lot,” he was trying not to think about it.

“Oh…okay,” she said, and he knew she would tease him the whole time she cut his hair.

She brushed it back and tried his hair in different styles. He just let her do her thing until she could picture the style she wanted.

“Too bad, Barry Gibb is pretty hot on you,” she teased and got to sectioning his hair.

When she was done, he’d gotten his face full of her at least three times, and two views of her butt in the mirror. She took off about three inches of hair from all over his head. She brushed it again and checked her work, looking for missed, long hairs. She then got out the clippers and shaved his neck and evened out the line of hair. He was then given a mirror so she could check the final product while she cleaned up the floor gracing him with one luxurious view of her backside.

“That’s a lot of hair, hon,” she said, putting the clippings in the trash. “So?”

“Actually, not bad.”

“Really, or are you trying not to hurt my feelings?” she asked.

“Baby, I would tell you,” he assured her.

“Alright, let’s get some breakfast going. Then I can show you how to use all of the equipment,” she said.

After breakfast, you showed Jensen all of the things and where you kept your cheat sheets for him to use if needed. He seemed to catch on fairly quickly and you left him to it so you could get your own work done. Almost as soon as you got on your computer, you got a zoom call from your manager, Eleanor Mitchellhill.

“It’s very early in the day, Eleanor,” you answered the phone. An icy chill flowed through your screen.

“It’s not early here Y|N,” she snipped in her British accent. “Where the hell have you been? It took you longer than a couple weeks.”

“I was in an undisclosed location spending time with my friend who needed me,” you explained.

“Does this friend have a name?” she pressed.

“Elle…,” you stalled, “I don’t think you need his name yet.”

“Oh, I see,” she drew out the word. “It’s a he. Is this man the reason you’re practically glowing?” she wanted to know.

“You could say that,” you nodded.

“Well, whatever fuels your fire, I suppose,” she acquiesced. “We will come back to this soon enough.”

“I don’t need a background check, Elle,” you said, “but you’re right, we will need to talk about him later. I need a week. He needs to go to Texas.”

“And you need to go with him?” she guessed.

You sighed, “Elle, it’s complicated and yes, I’m going with him.”

“Can’t wait to hear about it in a week,” she said, dryly. “Right, let’s talk. For the love of all that is holy, when are we going to get you in the public eye? You’re cute as a button and the people will just eat you up. And my god, when they know about the mystery series…” she kissed her fingertips. “Perfection.”

“About that, I want to go public with the mystery series pen name first. The romance one, I don’t want to do yet. And I want to go public with the mystery one when the movie is about to release. Like, on the promotion circuit.”

“I suppose you’ve already talked to Jan about this?” she asked.

You nodded, “She’s aware. I also told her that when I get this script done, I want Jensen Ackles to get a shot at playing Hobart. So if he does, you’re gonna be okay with it.”

Eleanor leaned back in her chair, “Why would I need to do that?”

“He’s my friend, Elle, and I based the character on him. There really isn’t anyone better to play him.”

Eleanor sat quietly, just staring at you while she thought. “Alright. Now get that script done. And as soon as you get to Texas, I expect a call, immediately, Y|N.”

“Understood,” you confirmed.

After a few more calls and answered emails, you were able to get in some steady work and the words flew from your fingertips into the script. It was like you were putting what you could see so clearly in your head into the script. You still had the notes from when you wrote the first book so it flowed really well. The story of Whiskey Hollow was precious to you and it would have been hard for you to let anyone take over writing the script for the movie adaptation. You just hoped that what you were creating would be appealing to whichever studio wanted the script. Jan, your agent, would be working hard to find takers and you wanted to give it your best effort.

A few days later, you and Jensen had put in three very long days doing all manner of work on your script and getting his affairs in order. You had written a ton in the script and were nearing completion, but something had come up that needed to be dealt with. Your brother and mom were coming over and you were not looking forward to finally telling him your big secret.

You sat on the couch in your living room with a notebook and pen, jotting down a few words here and there as Jensen looked around while he waited. He liked to look at your things. He did it a lot when he would visit in the past. You supposed he just liked to get to know you by the items you kept, as well.

He turned toward the mantle. The light from outside shone on some glass pieces that had caught his eye. Stepping closer he realized the sparkle came from one of the crystal candlestick holders he’d sent her as a housewarming gift from himself and Danneel. Dee hadn’t wanted to sign the card, but he’d insisted. With one candlestick was the glass orb his mom had gifted her years ago and the Swarovski star he’d left for her at her apartment. Behind the glass art was a picture frame that held multiple pictures.

He needed to step closer to get a better look.

“Need my glasses?”  Y|N asked from the couch.

“Hush,” he returned. The pictures were of his family on various occasions through the years. He didn’t remember some of them.

“Where was I for this one?” he pointed to the picture in the top right location.

She put down her pen and paper to join him.

“Oh, I think you were in …shit…wherever Dawson’s Creek filmed… North Carolina?” she put her hand on his back. “Your mom said I was welcome to come by anytime I was in Dallas, so I did.”

“You did? How often did you go?” he was surprised she would go to his parents’ house without him also being there.

“Maybe once every two or three years. It was usually for work when you weren’t there. You knew when I was there for the conventions.”

He looked down at her, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Well, I wasn’t there to see you,” she smiled. “I went to see your mom and dad…and have your mom’s cooking.” She got on her tiptoes for a quick kiss. “You’re hot as hell, but even my world doesn’t revolve around you.”

She moved to go back to the couch and her notebook. He put his arm around her to keep her close. “Hey,” he waited for her gaze to meet his, “you know I don’t think that, right?”

“I wondered sometimes,” she admitted.

“When?”

Her demeanor changed and she looked uncomfortable.

“You can tell me,” he tried to reassure her.

“That time you asked me to move to Austin, or LA, or Vancouver to be closer to you.” A harsh blush rose to her cheeks. “It felt like it was only to make you happy. You were with Dee and it made me feel like your side-piece, especially when I was sure you knew how I felt about you.”

It shocked him to hear her say it, but it was hard to deny her viewpoint. Neither one of them had been very good at concealing their feelings for each other, he was realizing. It had been selfish of him to ask, but he’d truly just wanted her closer… maybe he’d just been lying to himself a lot longer than he thought.

“I didn’t realize what I was doing. I shouldn’t have asked to put you in such an awkward position,” he held her tight to his chest. “Forgive me?”

“Of course,” she said. Her hand snaked up the back of his t-shirt, her nails scratching the skin of his back. “I was so close to saying, fuckit, but I would totally have tried to be a homewrecker.”

He remembered asking her and he remembered that they had gone to the fair that trip. “I should have done something after you kicked fuckface to the curb. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to make things worse. I thought Danneel and I deserved a shot. I did love her, but not like how I love you. Even she knew. It’s probably why I didn’t get any of the letters you sent to Austin. She kept them from me because she knew how much I looked forward to them, even before we got engaged.”

“You were right though. I didn’t know who I was or what I needed after the Grant situation. I thought about making a move on you, too, but I didn’t know if I just wanted to feel better or if I truly wanted to start something with you.”

“Remember that night I fell asleep on your bed?” he paused when she looked up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Totally watched you change your clothes.”

“Oh my god,” she hid her face on his chest for a moment. “You dirty dog,” she chuckled.

“Worth it.”

“You liked what you saw?”

He nodded. “You were my dream girl before I even knew what that meant. I should never have let you get on that airplane,” he lamented.

He released her from his embrace and watched as she went back to the couch to wait for her brother to take his sweet time arriving. When she bent down to pick up her pen and notebook, he got a good look. She still has a great ass, he thought.

There were a lot of pictures on the mantle. Mostly, they were of their respective families and some convention photo ops. Far too many with Richard, he thought. At the opposite end of the mantle held the matching candlestick and more pictures that included her travels and himself. His eyes fell on the picture of them at the lake on the deck. They’d had such a good time that trip. Young enough to be carefree, old enough to be left to their own devices. They’d gone to the tiny amusement park and rode the rides over and over. Of course, Nova had liked the Ferris Wheel the best because it overlooked the lake. She loved the water, Ferris Wheels, and me, he thought with a smile. 

Finally, a half hour late, your brother, Jarrod, rang the doorbell and you let him into your house. He greeted Jensen and Jensen poured drinks for everyone while Jarrod got settled.

“Mom told me you two finally got together,” he said in his usual loud voice.

“Yeah, Jarrod, it’s true,” you said.

“If you two ever need security, I’m available. You know I’ve got that training…” he said.

You tried not to roll your eyes where Jarrod would notice. Jensen stood behind him for a moment and did it for you before coming around to sit in one of the armchairs and sip on his whiskey.

“Clif has his own guys that Jensen uses, but I will tell Clif that you might be interested if there’s an opening. But the reason I wanted you to come over is because I need to tell you something…”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Jesus Christ, Jarrod. No, I’m definitely not pregnant. I need to tell you that I don’t work for the government and haven’t for years. I did work for the NRC, but I haven’t for years.”

He just looked at you like it was old news. “You’ve been at the grocery store for a while. I assumed you just had a good retirement plan.”

Sometimes it still amazed you that you and he had the same genetic material.

“The government doesn’t pay well enough for me to buy a whole goddamned city block in town, Jarrod.”

“Don’t get pissy with me. So if you didn’t work for the government, who did you work for? You obviously had some serious cash coming in.”

It was all you could do to not attempt to strangle him. “I write books. Lots of them. And I sold a lot. I am Nova Scott and Ross Black.” You waited for it to sink in. All he did was stare at you blankly. Your brother was not known for quiet reflection and was beginning to scare you. A whole new list of worries sprinted through your brain. “I need you to be cool about this, Jarrod, and to keep it quiet.”

“Does Mom know?”

“Yeah, from the start. Like three people in the profession know, Mom, Jay, and my one employee, Jen. Now you.”

“He knew before me?” you could hear the anger rising in his voice.

Jensen said nothing but carefully set down his glass.

“Barely. I only just told him about Ross Black. He knew about Nova Scott a few years ago.”

“What about your dumbshit exes?”

“No, Jarrod. Dan knew I wrote, but he didn’t know what or under what name,” you explained.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner,” his voice boomed despite your plush furniture.

“I had my reasons,” you said simply.

He was obviously angry and hurt. He stood on the opposite end of the mantle from you. The sheer size of him was daunting and he scared the hell out of you when he was mad. Even if you got the upper hand, you knew you couldn’t take him. He was 8 inches taller and 150 pounds heavier, severely skewing your odds of being successful.

“Boy, nobody fucks you like family,” his volume only increasing.

“How the fuck is protecting my privacy about you?! I didn’t tell you for very good reasons.”

“You always thought you were too good for this family. Always smarter than me. The favorite child.”

“For fucks sake, Jarrod. This childish resentment needs to stop. I’m not smarter than you. I just tried harder. You’re mad at me about shit you could have fixed but didn’t and that’s on you.”

You didn’t realize you had so much built up rage.

“How long have you kept this from me?”

“Oh my god,” you were getting a headache. “I don’t have an obligation to tell you jack shit. I’m only telling you now out of courtesy because the press is going to find out about me and Jay and they will dig into who I am.”

“If you’ve been incognito this whole time, why now? You’ve known him forever. Has no one ever approached you?”

You shook your head. “What about you?” Jarrod shook his head. You sighed deeply as you told him about the plan. “If I tell you, I need to know I can trust you not to tell anyone, and I mean anyone. Not even Jenna.”

“What? Why not?”

“I’m not risking this leaking before its time. If you can’t promise me, I can’t tell you and you can leave now. Once it’s public then you can talk.”

Finally, he agreed and you told him everything. Jarrod went from fuming to understanding and back and forth as you told him your plan.

“So let me get this straight. You find out Bob is doing sketchy shit and your ‘source’ agrees to get you evidence of said shit. You find out other methods of embezzlement, not giving Dad a raise for 20 years, dad dies, you flip out at the funeral… I’m guessing that was the tipping point?” You nodded. “Debbie tries to start shit and you said what you said to her… so, are you going to do it soon, or are you just going to hold it over her, or them, or?”

“As long as they mind their own business, we’re cool. If they want to come at me, talk shit, or say any disparaging words about me and/or Jay, I will burn those motherfuckers to the ground.”

“Holy shit,” Jarrod muttered. “Still sounds like you’re the smart one.”

“No, I just hold a grudge and am willing to play the long game,” you told him.

Jarrod turned to Jensen who had been quietly listening to the exchange. “What about you? Are you good with this?”

“I know better than to get in her way. I trust her and the plan and will back her up to the end …not to mention happy to stay in her good graces,” Jensen answered, picking up his whiskey again.

“Guess I better do the same.”

The rest of the week continued to fly by. You were writing like crazy and Jensen was working with his lawyers, and team, to start getting him back into auditions for his various interests. He was collaborating with Steve, sending in voice work for his various cartoons and other voiceover work, calling all sorts of people to get his interests turned into reality. Meanwhile, you were writing, researching, asking Jensen questions and fielding calls from people like your agent, Jan.

“Hello Jan,” you answered. “What’s up? I wasn’t expecting you to call again this week.” You’d sent her what you had of the completed script on Wednesday morning and she had called Thursday morning.

“Sweetie, I don’t know what you put in that script but the studio called back already and they want to have a meeting.”

“A meeting? About what? Is that good?” you asked, worried.

“In all my years, this has only happened a handful of times. You need to get over there so they can ooh and aah over what can only be a masterpiece.”

“Or they want to tell me to my face how it’s total shit and need to redo the whole thing,” you lamented.

“Sweetie, the studio doesn’t fly you out to talk about garbage. When can you be ready?”

“Um…I don’t know…I need to talk to Jensen, but I’m thinking we can go out tonight or tomorrow morning.”

“Is this a package deal?” Jan asked. “If he’s included, I need to know now. I can try to get them to pay for the ticket, but I can’t guarantee it.”

“Book it regardless. He’s coming with me,” you told her. “We can cancel if need be.”

“Please tell me you’re going to get away from that tiny town you live in. You need to either be in LA or New York. You’re killing me with all of these connecting flights.”

You chuckled at her exasperated tone. “It may happen sooner than later. Hang tough, Jan. I want to try out the London West Hollywood this time.”

“Why not the Beverly Wilshire? You love that place and you can walk to the studio, you love that healthy shit.”

“Jan, that’s the Pretty Woman hotel and I’ll be going there with my new boyfriend.”

“So what, put it in one of those books you write. You are a pretty woman and that new guy of yours is a hot piece. You have your Pretty Woman experience, sweetie, you deserve it. And for what it’s worth, I like him and I don’t believe a word of the allegations. Nail that bitch to the wall. I did check around and couldn’t find anyone who had a bad word to say about him.”

“It means a lot, Jan,” you admitted. “I didn’t know you didn’t like the other guys.”

“Sweetie, you’re like family at this point. I tried to like ‘em, but it wasn’t my place to tell you who to love. I’ll get it set up and email you the details.”

“Thanks, Jan,” you signed off.

You got up from your computer to go find Jensen. The last you’d seen him, he’d gone through the bookcase. Inside the room, you’d expected to see him inside the soundproof room, but it was dark inside. You were reasonably sure you hadn’t missed a smoking hot man leave through your office, so you went for the spiral staircase to descend into the basement studio.

Jensen was at the soundboard with headphones on. His eyes were closed and you would have thought he was sleeping if not for his fingers tapping the beat on his chest. Your fingertips touched his shoulder first. He merely tensed his body before relaxing under your touch as your hand moved across and down his body. He held your arm against him then pulled you onto his lap. He reached for the keyboard and touched a button before turning his attention to you and took off his headphones.

“This is a nice surprise,” he held you gently as you settled. “I thought you were working.”

“I could say the same about you,” you returned.

“I took a little break to listen to some tracks and a few caught my ear. What’s going on?” he asked.

“Jan called. There’s interest in the script and one of the studios wants to meet on Friday. She’s going to book us a flight either for tonight or early tomorrow morning.”

“That was quick. Told you they’d love it. You sure you want me to go with you? I’m looking like damaged goods lately,” he said.

You touched his face and noticed the chop job you’d done on his hair. “Diamond in the rough, maybe.” You leaned in to kiss his full lips. “Of course, I want you to come with me. No more than a couple days, remember? Plus, the hotel is across the street and there’s hella good shopping all within walking distance.” You were softly touching his face all over. “Do I have to twist your arm?”

“No, just making sure.”

“My sweet boy, I will always want you. I’ve always had your back, I’m not stopping now, so will you go with me? Did you have your heart set on driving to Texas? I promise your truck will be safe here.” You paused briefly, “We still can, I just didn’t want to rush.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he agreed. “I’m so proud of you.”

His warm hand went under your shirt and up your back, expertly unclasping your bra. You pulled the garment from your body through the arm hole of your shirt.

“You’ve done that more than once,” you noted, kissing him again and feeling his lips smile against yours.

“It hasn’t been worth it til now,” his hand covered your breast, kneading your soft flesh then moving to your nipple. “Have any other hidden rooms down here…with a bed?”

His voice had gotten deeper and quieter.

“I have a sofa in my office,” you offered.

“That’ll do.”

You sat at your desk, both working and waiting for Jan to get back to you with travel plans. You were still adding things to the script and tweaking scenes here and there when the email finally dropped in. Jensen was reading a book on the sofa. You couldn’t really see the cover from where you sat, but you thought it looked vaguely familiar.

“Time to get packed,” you told him.

He closed his book and said, “I think we can go to Texas from California. My truck will be fine here. What hotel’re we staying at, anyway?”

“The Beverly Wilshire,” you mumbled.

“The Beverly Wilshire?” he asked. Reveling in her suddenly shy demeanor.

“I’m gonna tell Jan to change to the London,” you blustered.

He sat up on the couch, “The one from Pretty Woman?”

“You know it is, jerk.”

“Nice hotel.”

“Yes it is.”

“Have you stayed there before?”

“Yes, I’ve been there before,” you told him, “For the romance movie deals.”

He got up and put the book back on the shelf and you saw he was near the section that held your Nova Scott and Ross Black books, but your mind was on other tasks and couldn’t see which one he put back. You didn’t want to assume he was reading anything other than Whiskey Hollow and let it go for the time being.

“Are we going to the mighty SooFoo tonight, or in the morning?”

“Tonight,” you answered. “Jan somehow managed to get us in with only a short layover in Denver.”

You left your office to go up to your room to pack what you would need for a few days and clothes for the meeting. 

Jensen stayed behind, waiting to make sure she had gotten all the way upstairs before he went back to the bookshelf and pulled off the book he’d been reading. It was the first time he’d seen it in a long time, not since he was on set with all of the cast members reading the first #1 seller for Nova Scott. He tucked it into the back of his pants and pulled his shirt over to hide it. He thought he would bust it out on the airplane and take the consequences there rather than asking her to finally let him start reading them. 

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

Tattooed

A/N: A Dean Drabble requested by @wings-of-a-raven to help me write... SOMETHING. Thank you for the prompt baby, ILY

W/C: More than the 200 words requested, but less than 500

@kazosa @lovealways-j @deanwinchesterswitch

Summary: Dean takes you to get ink

“Sweetheart, I promise you, it’s not going to hurt.”

“Doubtful,” you muttered as you looked out the passenger window of the Impala, watching the buildings slowly going by on Main Street.

Dean pondered your response and cleared his throat. “Alright, well… it won’t hurt as bad as a demon using you as a meat suit.”

You turned and gave him a rueful glare before looking back out the window as Dean maneuvered his baby into an empty spot in front of the neon sign that flashed “TATTOOS”.

“Besides, I don’t know why you’re acting so afraid of a little pinch. I’ve seen you get tossed across the room half a dozen times. Watched your bones break and still pulled off beheading a vamp. Hell, last month alone I sewed you up at least five times, and you didn’t flinch. Once.”

“I know… this is just… different.”

Dean turned off the Impala while his gaze continued straight ahead. “That’s crap. There’s a reason you’re scared and I wanna know why.” He turned to look at you. When you didn’t acknowledge him, he gently took your chin between his fingers and guided your face so you would be looking at him. “C’mon, I thought we were past all this and that you trusted us. Trusted me.”

“I do trust you, Dean. This just feels so permanent.”

Dean snorted a laugh and sighed. “Well, yeah. Tattoos are pretty permanent.”

“No… I mean getting this tattoo is a permanent link to hunting; to living this crazy ass life that I don’t know if I am ready to live. Also,” you paused, knowing the ridicule you were about to endure, “I hate needles, a lot.”

"C'mon, I promise you everything will be okay. And ya know, if you ARE in pain afterwards, I have plenty of ways to keep you distracted." Dean paused, a devilish smirk on his lips.

That smile–there was no way you could resist it. You slid closer to him, your fingers lightly stroking the back of his neck and your lips hovering close to his. "Would you even do that thing I love?" You asked softly, raising a seductive brow. 

"God yes."

"Okay," you whispered, then kissed him tenderly. "Let's get this over with so we can get home and you can take care of me."

You glided your hand down his arm, and to the top of his thigh. Just the hint of of what was to come made his jeans snug.

"Heh, yeah… um, why don't you head on in. I'm gonna need a minute."

Unable to hide your amusement, you got out of the car, paused, and bent down to say one last thing before closing the door.

"Just for the record, I'm scared to death of this life, but it's worth every second, long as I do it with you."

With that, you closed the car door and headed in, ready to be branded a hunter for life.

[kimberkingrivers]

I know this was originally posted on Tumblr but I’m not sure who so

Credit to original poster

But sometimes this is important to remember, I’ve tried to be better about posting comments and sending asks. But some days it’s just doesn’t happen, I’m too tired and I just want to read your work in my little corner of the world and pretend no one else exists.

@supernaturalfreewill @supernatural-jackles @supernatural-imagine-oneshot @acreativelydifferentlove @agirlwithdemonblood @becauseofthebowties @babysimpala @bravo-four-seal-team @beansandsprouts @creativepromptsforwriting @covered-byroses @crashdevlin 🤍 @carryonmywaywardwriters @chaoticdean @deanwritings @deanwanddamons @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @deanwinchesterswitch @deansenwackles @enigmalynne @ellen-reincarnated1967 @ejlovespie @fightthefairies-1221 @fangirlingfromdownunder @flufftober @fuckyeahnickburkhardt @holylulusworld @heavenandhellbingo @hintsofhoney @impala-dreamer @idreamofhazel @iprobablyshipit91 @isy-ferrante @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @jay-and-dean @justkending @jawritter @justagirlinafandomworld @kittenofdoomage @kazosa @kaleldobrev @luci-in-trenchcoats @lenavonschweetz @ladywinchester1967 @luvablehand @lucidlivi @mlovesstories @makeadealwithdean @zepskies

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime Sweetheart (Remastered)-Part One

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF) SERIES WARNINGS: (not specific to each chapter): violence, implied sexual assault, drug use, drinking, smut, murder, cursing, age-gap relationships, power dynamics, angst, slight slow burn, cheating... will update warnings as needed. AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is a rewrite! I originally wrote this, which can still be found in my master list, years and years ago and finally have decided to spruce it up a bit. This will be in third person POV and updated to be less... cringy as the original. As of right now there are only two chapters rewritten but if anyone shows interest, I will continue :) Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. I haven't written anything serious in years so this is me dipping my toes back in :) Face credit for OC is Taylor Momsen :) Tag List: @coffee-obsessed-writer @kazosa @lovealways-j @lovetusk @sorenmarie87

“You’re fucking useless, you know that? Like some useless blonde bimbo, I swear.” Anthony growled, advancing towards her menacingly.

“I-I, I’m sorry, something’s been wrong with the washer and I guess something got wrapped around the agitator-” She tried to explain, her voice shaking.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up, you stupid bitch.” Anthony roared, raising his hand back and drawing it forwards across Kylin’s face. A cry of pain escaped her lip and her hand cupped her stinging cheek. She backed against the door of the couple’s bedroom and stumbled as the door fell open behind her, already broken from a previous altercation.

She slammed the door closed in his face, thankful to hear the click of the handle, rushing to lock it and secure it closed. Anthony banged on the door, threatening to break down, while Kyln grabbed her backpack from the closet. She packed up a few things before zipping it up and throwing it out the window closest to the driveway. The door was soon easily broken open by Anthony, and she dove out the window herself. Thankfully, she landed unbruised and quickly made her way to her car with the backpack.

But she wasn’t quite fast enough, unfortunately.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He seethed as his hand found purchase in her hair. He spun her around, pinning her against himself and the car door. His free hand came to wrap around her throat, squeezing her throat closed.

It had to have been pure adrenaline, she would think looking back, because she instinctively  brought her knee to his groin with all the strength she could muster. He dropped her to the ground, stumbling back as he gripped his useless nutsack. She took advantage of the moment and bound to her car, quickly locking it as he tried to stumble his way towards her. 

Before she even registered where she was going, she was already two and a half hours south of DFW on I-35.

_____________________________________

Half an hour later, Kylin pulled into her brother's gated community and gave the security guard the passcode. She followed the GPS through the neighborhood, even though she knew the way by memory. She put the car in park before turning off the engine as anxiety raged in her gut. Why did there have to be so many cars in his driveway at 11 o'clock at night?  A million ‘what if’s’ swam through her head, and she almost lost her nerve completely. 

But then she remembered every sad look her family had given her, how disappointed they were with her, how much it hurt them to see her in that condition... How much they tried to remind her that they weren’t raised to put up with bullshit like what she had endured. 

She rang the doorbell, and a relieved sigh left her when her sister-in-law answered the door.

“Oh my god, Kylin, What are you doing here?” Danneel screeched as she threw her arms around Kylin, not spilling a drop of wine as it sloshed around in the glass that was clutched in her hand. 

Kylin smiled as she returned Danneel’s embrace. She squeezed her tight as relief spread over her and her nerves seemed to immediately release themselves. She had misses her bestfriend SO fucking much. 

“Um, I-I hope I’m not intruding or anything,” Kylin sniffed as she pulled away to wipe the tears that fell without her permission, “ I uh, needed somewhere to go.” 

Danneel’s smile fell immediately. She looked around before pulling her into the empty den.  She gripped Kylin by the side of the head with her free hand as she asked in a whisper, “Did he…?”

Kylin nodded shamefully, “Don’t tell Jens, please. It’s over, and I’m not going back.”

“Stay here as long as you need. I’ll call Dad in the morning so he can deal with getting your stuff. You really drove here from Dallas?” Danneel replied with a hint of snark. She let out a laugh when Kylin answered her question with a shrug.

“Well, you picked a hell of a night to make an appearance.” Dani smirked, taking a sip from her glass of Cabernet, “Somehow everyone managed to be in the same place at the same time for once, so it’s a full house.” 

The girls made their way from the den and into the dining room where everyone else was gathered, Danneel rubbing Kylin’s back soothingly before pulling away to get her husband’s attention. 

“Look who came to see her favorite brother,” Danneel touched Jensen on his back and he whipped around, a smile immediately brightened his face. 

“Ky, what the hell are you doing here?” He whooped, moving quickly to engulf his younger sister in a smothering hug. He squeezed her tight around her ribs and she couldn’t help the shriek of pain that she let out as he lifted her up off the floor. Jensen let her go and gave her a questioning look.

“Err, sorry, Bubs. I, uh, fell off the ladder at Dad’s the other day trying to help him do something, Kinda, uh, bruised my ribs a little bit, I think. No biggie.” She excused as she rubbed the sore area. 

“He should know your clumsiness does not make you helpful,” Jensen joked, throwing his arm around her shoulders as she motioned for Dani to make Kylin a drink.

“Whiskey, please,” Kylin stated when she saw her attempt to reach for the wine. Danneel gave her a look, but obliged nonetheless.

“And who is this beautiful young thing you have yet to introduce me to, Jensen?” A thick drawl came from behind. Kylin turned her head towards the voice. 

‘Holy fuckballs,’ Kylin thought as she was met with the tall length of a man that was Jeffery Dean Morgan, clad in dark washed jeans and a faded band tee.

“This is my sister, Jeff, my baby  sister. She just popped in to surprise me from Dallas.” Jensen replied, his voice lowering with a hint of protectiveness. He wrapped his arm tighter around Kylin’s shoulders and she fought to wince with the tenderness. 

“She looks young enough to be your daughter, J,” Jeffrey chuckled as he let his eyes roam Kylin’s frame.

“Not quite, but she is definitely old enough to be yours, old man.” Jens replied, eyes squinted in annoyance. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Morgan,” Kylin replied as she stuck her hand out towards him, “Ignore my brother, he’s a bitch.” 

She ignored Jensen’s scoff as she smiled up at Jeffrey, who took her hand in both of his much larger ones. 

“Definitely related to you, Ackles. She’s cute.” Jeffrey smiled, letting go of Kylin’s hand after a moment. 

“Ky! How the hell have you been, woman?!” Was heard right before Kylin was scooped up from behind and spun around by Rob Benedict. 

He set her down gently and turned her in his arms to hug her properly. She couldn't help the whimper that escaped her throat as pressure was once again applied to her sore body. Rob brought his head back to give her a knowing look. Kylin simply smiled shyly before she dodged his eyes and looked away. 

She was quickly passed around by Jared, Gen, and Rob, and a sense of comfort graced her as she realized that she was finally surrounded by people who loved her and would protect her. She was safe. For now, at least. 

--------------------------------------

As she enjoyed the company of her friends, family, and warm whiskey, her phone was constantly vibrating in her pocket, Anthony not willing to give up. The alcohol was working its way through her system, and in her drunkenness, her anger started to flare up all over again. With a sigh of frustration, she retreated to the back yard to answer the phone. She lit a cigarette and took a deep drag before pressing “accept” on the screen.

She didn’t even get the chance to say “Hello,” before the verbal attack began.

“Get your stupid ass back to this fucking house, now.” Anthony demanded, his voice low and almost growl-like.

“No,” She replied simply, taking another anxious pull from the cigarette between her fingers. 

“Where the fuck did you even go, huh? Who are you with? You’re at some bar, huh? I’ll beat your ass in the middle of Pearl if I find you, you fucking whore.” He threatened, followed by a loud crashing noise coming from the background. 

“I’m done with this. This is not how you speak to someone, Anthony. Who the fuck raised you?” She hissed, attempting to keep her voice down so as to not draw any attention, “I’m done. Like, done, done.”

“Since when do you get to have a complex, bitch? You ruined my life having to deal with all of your shit, so you don’t get to just walk away from me.” 

“The fuck I don’t!” She barked, her voice raised, “Fuck you, you piece of shit. Fuck. you. My dad will be there by tomorrow to get my shit. I’m done with this conversation.” 

Anthony started on another tirade, but before she could tell what his next slew of curses would be, her phone was snatched out of her hand. She whipped around as Jeffery brought the phone to his ear. 

“I do believe the lady said she was done. Learn your manners, boy.” His drawl was thick and assertive, and he left no time for Anthony to reply before he pressed the “end” button and held the phone out for her to take back.

She hadn’t even realized she had started crying until she brought the forgotten cigarette back to her lips, and the ashes fell across her hand as she took a final drag before tossing it into the yard. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweater, trying to rid her face of the tears and snot. 

Jeffrey took a seat next to her on the bench she had been sitting on and lit up a joint. He took a couple of hits for himself before he passed it to her. 

“Thanks,” She whispered and took a deep drag. She hummed in appreciation as she held the smoke in her lungs for a moment before blowing it out. 

“Anytime, sweetheart. Sounds like you need it.” Jeffrey chuckled as he took it back from her. They sat there for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth without speaking. The sound of the back door opening, followed by Genevieve’s voice broke the comfortable silence. 

“There you are! Oooooh, you have goodies!” Gen giggled as she sat beside Kylin, who was forced to move closer to Jeffrey, their shoulders touching. 

“Rough day?” Gen asked as she plucked the roach from Kylin’s fingers and took a deep drag. She had already been informed of the situation by Danneel.

Kylin simply replied with a huff of a laugh and a shake of her head.

“That boy needs to learn how to speak to a woman,” Jefrey stated simply as he brought a cigarette to his mouth.

“You have no idea,” Kylin replied. She picked up her glass of whiskey and finished it off. 

That earned her a sigh from Gen and a confused look from Jeffrey. She ignored both.

The silence washed over them again while Jeffrey finished his smoke. He tossed the butt in the yard with hers as he stood.

“Well, ladies, I have enjoyed your company, but I am going to hit the hay” He said smoothly, holding both his hands out for each of the girls to take one. He kissed them both, gave a small bow, and retreated back inside the house.

“Jay sent me out here, you know. Didn’t like the way Jeff was ‘looking’ at you.” Gen said, making sarcastic quotation marks with her fingers with a laugh. 

Kylin smirked and shook her head. Of course her brother was being his usual over protective self. 

“So is this the real last time?” Gen asked gently, after a few moments. 

“Yep,” Kylin replied, popping the ‘p’ sound. She dug around in her pocket and found her pack of cigarettes. She lit one and took a drag and then offered it to Gen.

“Good.” Gen nodded simply and brought the smoke to her lips. One of the best things about being best friends with Gen and Dani was that they all knew what the other person was feeling and needing without the use of words.

“Come on, chick,” Gen said suddenly as she grasped Kylin by the thigh and hoisted herself up. She turned and grabbed Ky by the hand and pulled her up with her, “Let’s go take shots until we black out.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Kylin laughed as she threw her arm over Gen’s shoulders and let her guide them inside. 

And black out they did. 

[wings-of-a-raven]

LMAO @coffee-obsessed-writer @kazosa

[jensensgotyoudean]

Thanks for being my trusted Jensen/Dean picture dealer for the last year. You're doing Chucks work. 😉🖤

Awww, thank you so much! It’s a labor of love, as you know :D And the man is addictive!! xo

[the--blackdahlia]

kazosa replied to your photo “Trying to feel pretty”

Cute swimsuit and I like your tattoo!! ������

Thanks!!

[wings-of-a-raven]

@coffee-obsessed-writer @kazosa (someone tag Brina cuz I can’t find her @)

This would be so much better than the unfinished one I have.

Imagine if I made a whole Supernatural Tarot Deck

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime, Sweetheart (Remastered)-Part Three

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)SERIES WARNINGS: (not specific to each chapter): violence, implied sexual assault, drug use, drinking, smut, murder, cursing, age-gap relationships, power dynamics, angst, slight slow burn, cheating... will update warnings as needed. AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is a rewrite! I originally wrote this, which can still be found in my master list, years and years ago and finally have decided to spruce it up a bit. This will be in third person POV and updated to be less... cringy as the original. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. I haven't written anything serious in years so this is me dipping my toes back in :) Face credit for OC is Taylor Momsen :) Tag List: @coffee-obsessed-writer @kazosa @lovealways-j @lovetusk @sorenmarie87 @smoothdogsgirl

Kylin spent the next four weeks in Austin. The first week, she barely left her bed, and barely ate. The second week, after most of the bruises had healed and only a minor scar remained above her right eyebrow, she ventured into the living room and out into the backyard. The third week, she had been so grateful that no one had brought up what happened, that she began to talk again. By the fourth week she felt almost better and decided that it was time for her to go back to Dallas. Jensen had insisted that she could stay, of course, but he also understood her need to move on and get past what had been the last three years of her life. He lent her enough money to find a new loft in one of the sub cities in the metroplex, and by the end of the second month, she had gone back to bartending. She had been in the industry before Anthony had stopped her from working, and the job came naturally to her. She was only working for the gentleman’s club for two months when she was given the promotion to bar manager. Her life was actually somewhat normal, and she felt her start to become a version of her old self again.

“Kylin, hun, I need your help tonight,” John, one of the floor managers, asked with his hands formed in a steeple before him. He was a large man with muscles on top of muscles, who was constantly sweating,  and looked absolutely ridiculous begging her for anything. 

“I’m not dancing again, John, stop asking,” Kylin smirked as she scraped the barcode off another empty bottle before she threw it in the trash.

“What? No. Not that. Well, that would actually help, too…Nevermind, stop distracting me, “ He grinned, walking around the edge of the bar.

“Then what? Kinda busy here, babe.” She replied with a sigh as another ticket appeared from the printer. She started working on the order as she waited for John to continue.

“Lucy called in sick, and there’s supposed to be this huge group of people tonight. Apparently there’s a comic convention or something in town and a few of the celebrities chose here to after party.” John stated as he wiped the never-ending downpour of sweat from his brow, “They literally rented out the entire VIP section.” 

“Okay, so? Don’t give yourself a stroke, big man. I’ll handle it.” Kylin replied with rolled eyes. She gathered the other bartenders and together they came up with a game plan. John stood back with an obvious relieved look on his face. The poor man was constantly a nervous wreck. 

--------------------------------------

The managers had banned together to rearrange the VIP section for more privacy for the special guests while Kylin worked at cleaning and stocking the bar for the interesting night ahead of them. By the time the guests had arrived, though, the wait staff was running around like decapitated chickens and the floor bosses were doing what they could to put out the fires in their wake. John was helping Kylin behind the bar at the same time as attempting to run drinks for Andrea, another one of the bartenders, and was honestly doing more harm than good after his third broken bottle of Scotch.

“God fucking damnit, John. Get from behind my bar! Go find me a real damn barback!” Kylin screamed as she pushed him out from the area with a huff. He quickly ran and hid at Andrea’s well area. He knew better than to be in Kylin’s way when she was overwhelmed. 

“Fucking hell, I thought that was you.” Came a deep, rough chuckle from the other side of the bar. Kylin’s skin prickled instantly, recognizing the voice. 

She turned slowly around to see the handsome man leaning over with his arms crossed on the bar top, empty glass in front of him. He was wearing a worn leather jacket, black tee, and his thick rimmed glasses. A smirk played on his lips as his eyes danced over her. Her uniform of a small black tank top and itty bitty shorts left little to the imagination. 

She gave a cringey smile of embarrassment and scratched the top of her head, “Err, Hey, Jeff. Uh, sorry about that.” 

“Ha! Hon, that was adorable. You made him run away like a baby!” He barked out a laugh as she walked over to where he was to refill his glass. 

“Still drinking whiskey?” She asked, changing the subject.

“Yup. Get yourself one too, while you're at it.” 

“Thanks, I need it.” She smiled and pulled out a shot glass for herself.

As she filled the glasses, her favorite dancer, Cali, threw herself onto one of the barstools towards the end of the bar. Kylin turned her attention to her after taking the shot. The pretty blonde sighed in exhaustion and laid her head on her arm draped across the bar top. “This place is ridiculous tonight, how is your bar so empty?”

“Pssh, It’s not. You see this printer? Hasn’t stopped.” Kylin nodded in the direction of the computer as the next three receipts emerged. 

Kylin made the orders and dropped them at the well as the waitresses lined up to grab them. She had almost gotten completely caught up when she heard Cali shriek.

“Holy crap, you’re Negan!” 

“Why, yes mam, I am,” was Jeffrey’s reply, and Kylin instantly winced as she faced them. 

“Christ, Cal, reel it in a bit.” Kylin glared as she watched the younger woman make her way over to where Jeff was sitting.

“Holy fucking shit,” Cali said, ignoring her completely as she perched herself on the stool next to the man, “How are you doing tonight, sir?”

“Doing good, how about yourself?” He replied, an amused smirk on his face. He proceeded to entertain her for a few minutes as Kylin got back to work. The constant flow of tickets distracted her until she heard Cali’s high voice pitchup again.

“Kylin! You didn’t tell me you know famous people!” She screeched, leaning over the bar on her elbows with her knees in the stool.

“I know famous people, I guess?” Kylin shrugged, which made Jeff laugh. Kylin refilled Jeffrey’s glass again and gave Cali a redbull. 

“Can I get some vodka in this?” The girl mumbled while she poked a straw through the tab. Kylin glared at her with her hand on her hip. 

“Whatever,” Cali replied as she leaped from the seat and turned to Jeff, an innocent look on her face, “Wanna get some dances?”

“Not tonight dear, sorry,” Jeff replied with a shake of his head, secretly earning him an internal sigh of relief from Kylin. He pulled out a few twenties from his jacket pocket and handed them to her. She smiled widely and looked to Ky, then back to Jeff, then back to Ky again and wiggled her eyebrows with a wink. Kylin replied with a roll of her eyes and went back to work.

Jeffrey stayed at the bar the rest of the evening, making small talk with her when she got a moment to come refill his glass. About thirty minutes before closing, while she was starting to clean up, a second loud voice finally joined the bar.

“There you are, God damn, you fuckin’ disappeared!” Kylin turned to see Norman Reedus clutch Jeff on the shoulder and drunkenly lean against the bar beside him. He looked towards Kylin and purred, “And who do we have here?”

“Norm, this is Kylin. Jensen’s baby sister.” Jeff answered, sarcasm covered the word ‘baby’ with a mocking tone. He gripped Norman’s shoulder a little tighter in warning, “I met her in Austin a few months ago. I told you about her, remember?”

“Oh yeah. Well, that makes sense as to why we haven’t seen you all night.” Norman teased. He winked at Jeffrey and flashed a grin before turning his attention back to Ky.

“You’re a cute little thing, What you weigh? About a buck?” Norman asked as he lit a cigarette.

“Jesus, fucker. Have some couth.” Jeffrey barked with wide eyes and an embarrassed laugh.

“Soaking wet.” Kylin smirked. She cocked her eyebrow as she watched Norman’s eyes roam her frame.

Jeffrey huffed out another laugh as Norman choked on the smoke in his lungs.

“I like you,” Norman replied with narrowed eyes. He pointed to her with the fingers holding his cigarette in a knowing gesture. He nodded to Kylin as he stepped away from the bar and started back towards the small group of people nearest to them. He looked back to Jeff and gave him a knowing look, eyes still squinted. 

Jeffrey shook his head as he turned back to Ky and propped his chin in the palm of his hand and elbow on the bartop, “What are you doing later?”

“It’s two in the morning, babe. I’m cleaning this bar and then going to bed.” Kylin answered, gesturing to the area behind her. 

“Hmm, well, I suppose I’ll let you get to it before I miss my ride,” He glanced over to the group of his friends that were making their way out of the small section and towards the exit. 

He pulled his phone out from his pocket and placed it on the bar in front of him, open on the ‘Add Contact’ screen. Kylin looked at him as she picked up the phone and quickly tapped in her number and name before giving it back to him. He grinned as he opened the camera and gestured for her to take a picture with him. She let out a breathy laugh as she climbed on top of the freezer and leaned over to get into the frame. Jeffrey clicked the button with a big smile on both of their faces. 

“Send that to me?” She asked as she hopped down. 

“Of course,” He replied, a grin still playing on his face as he rose up from his seat.

“It was good seeing you again, girl. Glad to see you’ve been taking care of yourself.” Jeff said as he watched Ky walk around the side of the bar to give him a hug. 

“Thanks, Jeff. That means a lot.” She replied with a squeeze. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight and kissed the top of her head. His scent enveloped her and she breathed deep as the butterflies danced in her stomach.

“Anytime, Sweetheart,” He said as they pulled apart from each other, “Text me when you get home?”

Kylin nodded to him with a smile as he gave her another wave and turned to catch up with his friends. 

‘Holy fucking shit.’ was the only thing she could think.

--------------------------------------

   The next day, Kylin awoke to two new text messages. Both from Jeffrey. One was a picture from the night before, the other asking what she had planned for the day

“Nothing that i know of, today’s my day off FINALLY, lol.” She replied before she crawled out of the comfort of her bed.

“You should come to the con. I can leave you a pass.” Came his response moments later.

“I guess I don’t have anything better to do today ;)” She sent back, hoping he registered her teasing tone. 

“Well good ;) Come hang out with some old men.” 

Kylin shook her head with a laugh as she made her way to the bathroom to ready herself for the day.

Jeffrey sent Kylin the details that were needed while she stood in front of her closet to try and find something to wear. She found herself in a pair of shorts, (even though it was October, it was Texas and still in the 90’s) and a Family Business Beer Co shirt that was cut to hang off her shoulder. She also laced up her converse and tied a flannel shirt around her waist, in case she found herself out late enough that it got chilly. She did some basic makeup of lashes and a dark lip, wanting to avoid the possibility of it getting messed up.

Anxiety and nervousness started to sit in as she pulled into the parking lot of the convention center. Sure, she had hung out with actors before, and had been to numerous cons, but not without the safety blanket that was her brother and his friends. She grinned at the thought of how pissed she knew Jensen was going to be when he found out that she had gone against his obvious wishes and hung out with Jeff. She figured her excuse would be that she was a grown woman and allowed to do as she pleased, and after three years of hell, she deserved to have a little fun. Plus, they were just going to be hanging out as friends, right?

She entered the convention center and found the front desk where Jeff had told her her pass would be. She gave the receptionist her name, who lifted her eyes and asked to see her ID. She showed the lady her card and was handed over the gold pass and itinerary before being pointed to the direction of the lounge. She texted Jeff to let him know she was there, and he responded that he would meet her soon. Once she found where she was supposed to be, she sat herself at the bar and ordered a Bloody Mary while she waited. 

A side door that she hadn’t noticed before opened up and Norman popped his head out, “Psst, Ackles, over here.”

It was obvious that Norman was trying to avoid being seen by the few fans in the vicinity, so Kylin quickly grabbed her drink and scurried over to him. He opened the door wide enough for her to fit though and led her down a small hallway to the green room.

“Jeff got called to a photo op real quick, so he sent me to get ya. I’ve gotta get goin’ myself, though, but just wait here and he should be back in a sec.” Norman explained as they stepped through the door. The small room was filled with couches and tables adorned with snacks and drinks, and Kylin nodded in response while taking a sip of her drink. 

She was scrolling through social media and chewing on her straw when the door opened a few minutes later and his voice was heard, “ Thought you were a whiskey girl.” 

She looked up at him with a snort and shrugged, “Breakfast of champion.” She raised her glass in salutation.

Jeffrey chuckled as she stood up and stepped towards him. He opened his arms and she settled into them in what was only a semi-awkward embrace. 

“Thanks for comin’, hon. It’s good to see you again.” He drawled, looking down at her with his arms still wrapped around her shoulders.

She peered up at him and let a small smile creep across her face, “Good to see you too, Mr. Morgan.” 

They sat on the couch, close, but not uncomfortably so. He put his arm across the back of the sofa, his hand near her shoulder but not touching it, and turned towards her with a grin.

“How’s the con going? I haven’t been to one of these things in a while.” She asked as she drained her glass of the remaining tomatoey drink and placed it on a nearby table. She shifted slightly to look at him better. He was wearing his leather jacket, dark shirt, and glasses again. 

“It’s alright. Not the worst, but still pretty chaotic.” He started with a sigh, “They oversold everything and everyone’s squeezed in here like fuckin’ sardines. The line for autos was so long they had to start going by section because the fire marshal almost had a fit. People are pissed. Norm almost fought someone over a damn cigarette break.” He shook his head and lifted his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Sounds like a shit storm,” Kylin replied, a sympathetic look on her face. She knew how stressful cons could be, and when one thing didn’t go right, a lot of other shit usually didn’t go right either.

Jeff had about an hour break before he had to get back to photo ops and autographs, which the two of them spent catching up some more. He commented again on how he was happy to see that it seemed she was doing better, and she thanked him for it again. The topic then changed to the horror stories that had been his past few conventions, and how he and his most recent girlfriend had called it quits.

“That’s the reason I was at Jensen’s that weekend. Crazy broad followed me all the way down there trying to ‘fix shit’ after I found her in bed with some Estonian male model.” He huffed. He shook his head to rid the memory and mumbled something under his breath that Kylin wasn’t able to make out.

“That’s fucking horrible, dude. I’m sorry.” Kylin sympathized, and reached out to touch his hand that was resting on his knee. He let his eyes linger there for a moment before looking back up to her.

“What are you doing tonight?” He suddenly asked with an intense gaze.

A blush creeped up along her neck and she moved her hand away to fiddle with her phone in her lap, “I don't have anything planned.”

“Come out with me. We’re going to the bar district here and it would be nice to have a tour guide.” He reached over and grabbed her hand back from her phone, returning her attention to him.

She thought about it for a moment before answering. What’s the worst that could happen? “Sure, what time?”

“Prolly around ten-ish. Can you meet us at the hotel? We’re supposed to be within walking distance of the bars.” He asked before telling her what hotel they were all staying at.

“Sure, that’s not that far from me,” She replied, taking her hand back to check the time on her phone. It was near six. 

He looked at his watch before he cleared his throat and rasped, “Damn sugar, it’s time for me to go back to work.” 

He twisted himself off the couch then reached down to give her a hand up, “ You can stay here if you like. No one will fuck with you. Or you can go explore, whatever you wanna do.” 

“I think I’ll go explore a bit before heading home to get ready. Any preference on attire?” She replied, still holding onto his hand that swayed back and forth between them.

“Oooh, sweetheart. I’m sure you’ll still be the most gorgeous girl in the room with anything you wear.” He said smoothly. He ran his tongue over his top teeth and flashed her a wolfish grin. 

She looked away with another blush, “I guess I’ll see what I can do.” 

The handler came in seconds later to escort Jeffrey to his next task. He gave Kylin a tight squeeze and kissed the crown of her head again before he sauntered away and out the door. She stayed in the greenroom for a few minutes while she gathered her thoughts around what had just happened before she slipped out of the room herself. 

--------------------------------------

After walking around the vendor area for a bit and looking at everything, Kylin headed home. She showered and got ready for the night while her anxiety continued to drive her crazy. She had blow dried her hair to perfect straightness and redid her makeup, though this time she added dark eyeshadow and left her lips nude. She slipped herself into a form-fitting black dress with black pumps to match, and adorned her wrists and fingers and neck with various pieces of jewelry. Jeffrey had already sent her the details on where to meet him, and so as soon as she was done she headed back out the door.

She sent him a text when she arrived, and he replied back with his room number. She made her way up the elevator to his floor, nervously fidgeting with a ring on her finger. She wasn’t as nervous once she actually got to his door, and she even smiled as she stepped up and knocked.

Jeffrey answered the door quickly, and his jaw dropped as his eyes took in her appearance. She felt a ping of panic flare again, and it seemed as though her body was having a similar reaction to his. He was wearing a deep blue dress shirt under a black blazer, and nice jeans and nice shoes. He had abandoned his glasses for contacts and his eyes seemed brighter than she remembered.

“God damn, baby girl, look at you.” He breathed, and jokingly clutched his chest as if to stave off a heart attack. He held his hand out for her to take as he escorted her into the suite.

“Everyone, this is Kylin,” He said cheekily, wrapping an arm tight around her waist and pulling her into his side, “She will be our tour guide for this evening.” 

“God bless Texas,” was called, which made Kylin flush in embarrassment.

Jeffrey introduced Kylin to everyone, and they all gave her smiles, waves, and handshakes. She found it relieving to be able to partake in their conversations easily while they waited on a couple members of the group to finish getting ready.

They soon departed from the hotel and walked in a group down the streets of Dallas for the few blocks it took to get to the bar district that was known as Deep Ellum. The guys all admired the graffiti artwork and murals that adorned a few of the buildings and Kylin pointed out all her favorite ones. JEff stayed by her side the entire time, occasionally throwing his arm over her shoulders and reeling her into him. They stole glances back and forth as they walked through the streets. 

They had made it to the fourth small dive bar sometime around one-thirty, and by that time everyone in the group was slightly intoxicated, though some more than others. Kylin was just tipsy enough to be a little more daring and flirt with Jeff. They were sitting in a booth towards the back with everyone, just joking and laughing. She was happy that she fit in so perfectly. 

“Isn’t she fuckin’ beautiful?” Jeffrey rasped as he interrupted Andrew and his tirade of something that Kylin seemed to be listening intently to. She flushed, eyes going wide as she turned to see Jeffrey shamelessly staring at her. He brought the arm behind her around to play with a piece of her hair, and a grin rose to his face as he watched her face continue to redden at his praise.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. J,” Kylin replied slyly, her southern accent peaking through due to the alcohol. He gave her a smirk and a wink as he wrapped himself around her a little more.

She had been so captivated by Jeffrey that she hadn’t even noticed that everyone had turned to look at the both of them. Until, of course, Norman let out a mocking, “awhhhh” and everyone joined in making kissing sounds. Kylin leaned into Jeff’s side and hid her face with an embarrassed grin. Even with the teasing, it was the most comfortable she had felt in such a situation in a long time. The odd sensation of fingertips touching her skin didn’t make her skin crawl, and she felt like she could speak openly without being ridiculed. She didn’t feel the need to make herself seem small. Kyin lifted her head and looked up to Jeff, the whole group distracted back to their original conversation. She could see something in his eyes that oddly looked like adoration. He cupped her face with his hand that wasn’t wrapped around her, and gently stroked her cheek. He let his thumb run over the scar above her eyebrow, and she felt her lips part as she sucked in a small breath of air. She subconsciously leaned into his touch. 

Being the gentleman he was, though, Jeffrey moved his hand away and put a bit of space between them. Kylin was relieved, but also sad at the loss of contact. He cleared his throat as he straightened us both up, moving his arm back to its original place on the back of the bench. Kylin sat upright and took a sip from the glass of water in front of her to wash away the fog in her brain. It was only a few minutes after that the house lights brightened, signaling it was time to pay their tabs and head out. 

With it being two in the morning, the October chill had finally begun to set in, and Kylin shivered as they walked down Pearl Street and back to the hotel. Without her even asking, Jeffrey shrugged off his blazer and placed it over her shoulders.

“Thank you,” She said as she tugged the warmth closer to her. The smell of his expensive cologne mixed with his natural musk flooded her, the scent just as intoxicating as the alcohol in her system. 

“Anytime, Sweetheart,” Jeffrey replied with a deep chuckle when he caught her burying her nose into the collar. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder again as they continued to walk down the street, just a little bit behind the rest of the group. 

When they arrived back at the hotel, Kylin slowed herself down in the parking lot and Jeff told everyone he was going to walk her to her car.

“Sure you don’t wanna come up darlin’? You good to drive?” Jeff asked, a hopeful look in his eyes, once they approached her vehicle.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” She replied with a chuckle as she looked down to fiddle with her keyes, “I’m good to drive.” 

“Well, alright, then.” Jeff said with a disappointed sigh, “I guess text me when  you get home, then. You forgot last time.” 

“I’ll try to remember,” Kylin smirked up at him through her lashes. He gave her a huff of a laugh as a smile filled his face. He opened his arms and she stepped into his embrace. She curled her arms around his waist as he enclosed her shoulders and placed another kiss on the top of her head. She stepped back after a few moments and shrugged his jacket off in an attempt to return it.

“You keep it for now, gives me an excuse to see you again,” He said as he held up his hands in refusal.

“You wanna see me again, Mr. Morgan? Kylin asked, raising an eyebrow as the smirk still played on her lips.

“If you wanna see me, Ms. Ackles,” He answered, raising his own eyebrow at her. 

He opened her car door for her, and she threw his jacket and her purse into the passenger seat before she turned back around to him. She looked at him for a few seconds before she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, “I’d love to.” 

The smile that appeared on his face was the sweetest thing she had seen in a long time, and it actually looked like he was blushing a bit. It was strange for her to watch him bashfully back up with and stuff his hands in his pockets as she climbed inside the car. He had always been known for being smooth with the ladies, and was acting like she made him nervous.

She rolled her window down and smiled up at him, “I had a really nice time, Jeff. Thank you.”

He nodded back at her with a grin, and gave her a small wave before turning back to the front of the hotel.

She remembered to text him when she got home.

[thewhiterabbit42]

Hope my submissions worked! Happy birthday!!

Thank you my lovely!!! I appreciate all the Dick!!!

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

@kazosa

Shout out to all of my fandom mutuals!

[denial-island-spn]

Spent too much time teaching Gad about cuddles. Needed more homework/study time, but Gad time was WAY more enjoyable. He's a natural at "silverwaring."

Gadreel:  I, too, enjoyed the learning process regarding cuddles.  

Ellen:  Silverwaring, huh?  I believe the term you’re looking for is spooning.

Gadreel:  Yes.  Gabriel has since helped clarify the terms for me.  He also said I should ask one of our guests about forking? 

Ellen:  *looks caught between amusement and admonishment as she looks at Gabriel* Of course he did.   

[deansdirtylittlesecretsblog]

Okay, to help bringmesomepie... Donna wants to get a dog. Dean asks why. She says for undying love and affection. Dean says it's a bad idea cuz of dogs being familiars. Dean says he'll give her all the love and affection she can handle.

Cute!

I added it to the list!

Send me Dean x Donna fic ideas?

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

@kazosa one scene less than 500 words with them above dialogue prompt...

Writing Prompt #2761

"You shouldn't love me."

"Well, why not?"

"I'm not worth it. All I'm going to end up doing is hurting you."

"Is that a promise, or are you just afraid?"

[kazosa]

Summary: Dean could see the writing on the wall and he knew what he needed to do. It was what he always did. He protected the ones he cared about, at all costs, and killed monsters. Only, this time, The End, he wasn’t sure he could protect the woman he loved.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, major regret, bad language, terrible choices

Word Count: 2963

Tags: @briagallen​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @squirrelnotsam​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @sorenmarie87​  @his-paradox​

A/N: the above banner was created by the amazingly talented @coffee-obsessed-writer​ She somehow manages to get in my head and see what I am thinking and puts it in an incredible piece of art for me. Many thanks, as usual!

Eight months had passed since the end and Dean hadn’t spent more than two nights in one place the whole time. It wasn’t that he had somewhere to be. In fact, the opposite was true. No one was looking for him, no one missed him. No one needed him. For the first time in his life, he was obligated to no one… and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Everywhere he went, someone, some place, some dirty back road to nowhere made him think of all the people he’d lost and he would need to move on. It was too hard. And, as much as it pained him to sell his car, it hurt far more to not see Sam sitting in the passenger seat. Instead, he roamed the roads on a motorcycle that looked like had been thrown together. He just needed it to go everywhere and get there fast. 

“Hey, pal, last call was twenty minutes ago,” the bartender reminded him.

“Right,” he downed the beer, “don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” He stood up from his barstool, taking out his wallet throwing a few bills down on the bar, then grabbed his helmet, ready to leave. 

“You want me to call you an Uber?”

If Dean hadn’t become a functioning alcoholic, he might have thrown up at the thought. He didn’t do that hipster crap.

“Nope.”

“Can anyone come get you?” the bartender asked again. 

Dean kept walking, “nope.” The only thing he’d managed to do in eight months was become a meandering mess who reeked of some kind of booze, as he rode across the country verifying that everyone he ever loved or cared about had died. The end had been a massacre and he had been the only one to make it out alive. 

“You don’t know that,” the annoying voice at the back of his head chimed in.

Dean yanked his helmet on, his beard prickling against the chin guard. He pulled the scarf up around his neck and made sure the ends stayed tucked inside his leather jacket as he got on his motorcycle. There was one person who had been on his mind. One of the last ones he hadn’t yet checked up on, mostly because he couldn’t bring himself to know one way or the other… yet.

2008

“This place reeks of school,” he said under his breath. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Its a college library Dean.”

“Whatever,” he snorted. “You go do your nerd thing. I’m gonna see what the librarian knows.”

“I hope you’re going to change tactics,” Sam warned.

When Dean gave him a questioning look, he continued. “That ‘tutor’ line never works.”

“When you get more numbers than me, then you can judge,” he scoffed.

Dean still caught a hint of his disapproving look before he left him behind to go talk to the librarian. Unlike Sam, he’d scoped out the library the day before. He knew how to do homework, just not the kind that got good grades. He hoped the one he saw the day before would be working again.

As he rounded the corner, an older woman was behind the counter furiously shelving books to the return cart. She wasn’t the one he was hoping to see; he would have remembered seeing this one. She wore clothes from a few decades before, thick glasses on a chain, and though her hair hadn’t fully grayed, her hair was done in what he assumed was a beehive. 

He sidled up to the counter. “Hey, sweetheart.”

The woman let out an exasperated huff and slammed down the barcode scanner she was using to check in books. She folded her arms in front of her and leaned on the counter to look at her most recent annoyance.

“My name is Gloria, not sweetheart. What do you want?”

Dean cleared his throat and wondered why his obvious charms didn’t work. “Um, I’m looking for a tutor….”

“You really think I’m going to believe you’re a student? Honey, this isn’t my first day.” She unfolded her arms and stood back from the counter, her impatient look not changing. 

“Easy Glo, he’s one of mine,” she suddenly appeared; the one who’d caught his eye.

“You need to quit having your boyfriends come here,” Gloria chided.

The woman looked at her co-worker, “Mm quite right.” She turned to Dean. “Honey, how ‘bout you come down here?”

“Have a lot of boyfriends?” he followed her to the end of the counter. Finally, he saw the name on her tag. (Y/N).

“I you don’t strike me as the exclusive kind,” she teased. “How can I help you?”

I could be, he thought. “I need a tutor,” he leaned on the counter towards her. 

She leaned forward and put her hands on his. “Gloria is watching and I’m usually affectionate with boyfriends.” Her nail traced a line up his wrist making his skin tingle. “What are you really doing here?”

This was not all how he planned on having things go. “I, um, I’m looking…”

“If you’re a student here, I’ll eat my shirt,” she stayed perfectly in character with Gloria watching. “You’re here about that stuff with Jenny and Keith, aren’t you?”

“Just looking into what happened. Not buying what the papers and authorities are saying. Looking to get the truth.”

Somehow, she had a pen and was writing something on his hand. He would have looked at his hand, but he couldn’t draw his gaze from her.

“What’s your name, honey?” she looked him in the eye.

“D-Dean,” he stammered. “Dean Winchester.”

“Well, Dean, I’m off at four and we can talk then,” she said, rubbing the top of his hand. “Better get out of here before Glo turns you into Security.”

Dean sighed heavily as he started the motorcycle. (Y/N) had been a wild card right from the start. He’d been thinking about her a lot lately. She was the only person giving him hope. He couldn’t, or wouldn’t, think of her as anything but alive, but what was he supposed to do? Live on blind faith that she was alive and well? He didn’t have faith in anything. Not after the End, except maybe her… of all people, of all hunters, she being alive would mean he wasn’t alone. And if anyone could cheat death, it was her.

Getting settled before he rolled out, he felt the weight of his gun and knife press against his torso. He knew how to get to Purgatory. In the last eight months it had become a more and more appealing option. Why not just go there and do the only thing he’d ever been good at? ‘Cause (Y|N) won’t be there,’ he answered his own question.

He could just wait for Billie to come get him, but for what? She was there… at The End… she’d said, “This ain’t in your book, honey” as he sat on the ground, covered in blood and screamed into the night at the sorrow and unfairness of it all. He still didn’t understand how living had been his fate…

2013

“Nope,” his heart hammered in his chest as he pulled her into his lap. He took (Y/N)’s hands and held them on her chest. “You’re not going anywhere. We’ll get you fixed up in no time.” In his head, he screamed for Cas to come. 

Sam held pressure on her leg and did the best he could on her abdomen. (Y/N) had been with them in some way for the last five years. She was a natural hunter and her knowledge of the supernatural had bailed them out of tough situations more than once.

“Deuce, c’mon. You gotta stay with me,” he used the nickname he’d thought up for her.

(Y/N) sighed and groaned at the same time. “Ungh, stop calling me Deuce, it sounds like shit.”

Dean looked at Sam, who tipped his head to the side in silent affirmation.

“...wild cards though,” he muttered.

“I don’t want… the last words I hear from you… to include… shit. Clearly… I’m the Ace in the Hole,” she said between labored breaths.

(Y/N) looked up at him and laughed. She went down hill at breakneck speed. Sam couldn’t keep enough pressure on her wounds, even with an extra hand from Dean…

He’d watched her slip away from him once and he didn’t want to do it again. Cas had come, but not in time to heal her before she died. 

“Please, Cas…”

Dean didn’t know if it was he who’d said it, or Sam. Either way, the angel reached out his hands, making (Y/N)’s wounds glow with his healing touch. She’d gasped awake and immediately clung to Dean. ‘Man, she held on tight,’ he thought. And so had he. At that moment, he knew he would never let that kind of harm come to her again.

Rolling on the throttle, the motorcycle carried Dean away from the bar and down the road…

2013

It had been a few months since it happened. Dean sat in the library. His chin resting on his hand on the table. With his other hand, he rolled the tumbler of whiskey between his thumb and middle finger. The light from the above pendant lighting penetrating the amber liquid in the crystal glass.

(Y/N) was in Sam’s room watching some nerd show, or something, and that left him alone to dwell in his thoughts. Nor did he care for the feeling of jealousy that had been rising in him, so he’d decided to have a drink about it.

“Hey,” (Y/N) said, walking into the room. 

Dean didn’t move from his spot at the table. He still looked at the whiskey in his glass and barely raised his hand in greeting. The whiskey had done its job warming his heart and… slightly… numbing his feelings.

(Y/N) pulled out the chair next to him. He rolled his head to the side, resting on his arm to look at her. He almost hated how much he loved her eyes. And he definitely didn’t hate how she was looking at him.

She put her hand on his arm and gave him a little squeeze. “Why’re you out here pouting?”

Called out again, he said what came to mind first. “I’m not pouting, you’re pouting.” Dammit.

“Yeah, okay. It’s funny how you still think I can’t read you like a book,” her voice was soft. She slid a hand down to his wrist, her thumb stroking his skin. It always seemed to tingle when she did that.

Grudgingly, and with more effort than he cared for, he managed to peel himself off the table to sit up. He wondered what she thought she could see written all over him.

He watched her as she stood up, forcing him to lean back a little in his chair. He never knew what she would do next and it both excited and scared the shit out of him, and not ever in a bad way.

Her hands, how he loved when she touched him, went to his face and hair. If he hadn’t already had the whiskey, he might feel drunk off her touch alone. She slowly leaned down further. (Y/N)’s lip touched his and he thought maybe he was dreaming. She kissed him like it had been something they did all the time. He fantasized on it plenty…

Before he knew it, she was gone and looking over her shoulder at him from the doorway, whiskey in hand.

“You coming?”

If he’d ever been drunk, he’d sobered in a hurry and followed her. What resulted was not just an amazing night of love making. It had also resulted in a relationship he hadn’t known she’d wanted… just as much as he had.

The chill of the night air cut through his thin layers. Most of the time, he just ignored it. He’d been through worse. He could withstand anything. He just didn’t know if he could stand living in a world without (Y/N) in it.

The ‘what ifs’ ran through his mind again. If he waited for whatever end was coming to him, there would still be no guarantee he would see her again. There was no way he could go on living in this world if she wasn’t in it…

2019

It was a quiet morning. Sam was somewhere with Eileen and that left him and (Y|N) with the bunker to themselves. These were the mornings that were his favorite. (Y|N) was tucked into his side, her arm draped across him. They didn’t have a case to work. They had nowhere to be. All they needed to do was lie in bed all day. 

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked.

Dean ran his hand over her arm across his chest, “Just about how lucky I am.”

“It’s true,” she kissed his jaw, “you are super lucky.”

Five years. He’d had the love of a good woman for five years. They were a great team. He had everything he ever wanted. Somehow they had managed to balance the hunter life and ‘normal’ life. They worked well together and played well together. 

“What’s the plan for today?” he asked.

“Staying in bed all day sounds good to me,” she answered. “Oh, hold on, I made you something.”

(Y|N) handed him a spiral bound book. Inside were pictures of the two of them, Sam and Eileen, Jody and Donna, Rowena… 

“It’s us. All of us,” she explained, “our story.”

It was mostly the two of them. They were in the bunker, road hotels, in Baby. She never asked him for more than what he could give, but he still found himself wanting to give her more. He wanted to live in a house, have a kid or two. He wanted more. A real life.

Dean kept the small scrapbook with him, always. He didn’t need to bring his father’s journal anymore, the End made sure of that. The journal came with him out of habit now. Dean brought the scrapbook because he needed it, more than he cared to admit. He needed to see their faces, to remember the good times, and to see her… 

Dean slowed the bike to a stop at a red light. Turning right, he would go to her house. To the left, he would take the road to nowhere. Going straight, he would forge ahead. 

The End was coming and, unlike so many times before, they had known it was coming. All Dean could see were all the things that were trying to kill them. He just wanted to make sure she was safe...

“I want you to leave.”

“What? Your room?”

“No, the bunker. I don’t want you here anymore.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“You’re reckless and too unpredictable. You’re either going to get yourself killed or someone else and I can’t have that on my conscience.”

“No, that’s bullshit.”

It didn’t end there. The next day was more of the same, but he’d stood firm on his decision. Break it off clean, get her away and to safety.

“Just promise me you won’t keep hunting.”

“No.”

“Ace.”

“No. You’re being stupid. You know I can help and you know I won’t stop,” she was mad and near tears. “When this is over and you’re done being stupid, come find me. You love me, Dean.” She turned back before she got in her car. “You better not fucking die, ‘cause when this is over, and you come find me, I’ll kick your ass.”

His heart left that day when she tore down the dirt road that led away from the bunker. Maybe that was why he did the things he did at The End, showing no mercy… nothing but brute force brawling…

Dean turned right and continued on. Was he done being stupid? Probably not. What he did know was that the dumbest thing he ever did was force her out of his life and he needed to know, for sure, one way or another, if his life was worth continuing. 

For the first time, in a very long time, he had hope…

He knew where she used to live, it had been a few years since he’d seen her and… he just didn’t know… was she alive? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Married? Hunting? Normal job? If she was still alive, she’d be there.

It was late, the house was dark, too dark for anyone to be awake. He should give a damn that he was about to knock on the door and disturb the residents, but he didn’t. He waited long enough and needed to know… to see her face… to have hope again. He climbed the stairs, feeling lighter with each step he took. His heart raced as he stood at the wood door. gargoyle door knocker seemed to mock him as he stood there, unable to move.

“Shut up,” he grumbled as he grabbed the gargoyle and made it rap loudly, twice, on the door. Dean was about to try again when the porch light flicked on. His eyes rebelled at the sudden glare from above. He shaded his eyes, but didn’t look away from the gargoyle. The sound of the locks turning shifted his gaze to the door’s opening. Time slowed to a crawl. Dean swore he could hear the antique metal rotate as the person on the other side of the door turned the knob.

It all came down to this. Would she be there? Would she be the one to open the door? Would she be happy to see him? What if…

The door cracked open. His heart jumped in his throat as the porch light fell on the face inside.

“Hi.”

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

@kazosa @lovealways-j @wings-of-a-raven

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Jensen Ackles | Radio Company Live Concert | Austin, August 19, 2024 [x]