#Kate would also probably die in the process of all this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hellokittyyyysblog · 5 months ago

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𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷/ part 3

Pairing: vampire!𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

- - -- -- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -- -- - -

The shock of your supervisor's cruel death had settled into your bones, gnawing at your conscience. The mere thought that you were teetering on the brink of becoming the very person you despised—a bystander in the face of injustice—was almost too much to bear. Edward Davis was more than just a hard worker; he was a mentor who valued your contributions, always expressing gratitude for the extra hours you put in. Despite the extra workload he entrusted to you all the time, he never took your efforts for granted. —You couldn’t shake the thought of his wife, whom he had married less than a year ago discovering that he was gone. A man’s life had been brutally cut short, and you were grappling with the horrifying possibility that you might stand by and do nothing. The guilt was a heavy shroud, suffocating you. Yet, the thought of speaking out, of risking everything for the truth, was equally paralyzing. Would anyone even believe your story? and if they did, was the truth worth dying for? you knew Natasha was going to keep her side of the deal.

Natasha’s cautionary words of the night before echoed in your mind—was this knowledge a blessing or a curse? would it consume you, driving you to unravel more mysteries and risk your safety in the process? You had always prided yourself on valuing reason and pragmatism, but now you stood at a crossroads where the allure of uncovering secrets clashed with the very real threat of danger. You needed to believe that you could navigate this treacherous path without succumbing to paranoia or becoming a casualty of the unknown.

Maybe Natasha was right after all—Were you letting this truth about the supernatural world consume you, clouding your judgment and leading you down a perilous road? More importantly, were you willing to die because of it? You valued your life too much to throw it away, just because the situation seemed impossible to handle and the reality too harsh to bear. The decision loomed heavy as you contemplated the upcoming police inquiry—would you dare to lie to protect yourself!? you knew it was a necessary step for your own survival. You needed to protect yourself from the ramifications of this newfound knowledge, even if it meant veering from the path of truth. You were going to lie.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The early morning light filtered faintly through your half-drawn curtains, casting a soft glow on the room as your phone erupted into insistent ringing. Kate's name flashed on the screen—your best friend—whose calls you had been avoiding since the day before. You knew you should confide in her—as you always had. Your friendship thrived on honesty. But the weight of the recent discoveries held you back. You couldn't risk involving her, not while you navigated this dangerous reality—You would never do that to her.

She had been in Bali for a week now, celebrating her mother getting engaged. The thought of Kate, carefree and enjoying the tropical paradise, was a stark contrast to your current reality. Maybe you should’ve accepted her offer on going to Bali with them, you probably would’ve been enjoying the sun whilst reading a good book and maybe you would’ve also got the tan your skin so obviously needed, out of it—the shear, rose of your skin not complimenting your bright, light hair enough. Or so you thought. That seemed far more thrilling to you, than having to dwell between truth and death.

Kate wasn’t exactly thriving about the vacation, but she knew better than to say no to her mother.

Kate's mother was a striking woman with an air of elegance that masked an underlying fragility. She had a commanding presence, always impeccably dressed, with elegant, manicured hands and a natural grace that drew attention wherever she went. Despite her outward poise, she harbored a protective streak towards Kate that often bordered on overbearing. She had raised Kate single-handedly since her husband's premature death when Kate was just a child, leaving her fiercely devoted but also overwhelmed by the responsibility.

Kate often envied the physical distance you had from your own family, admiring how supportive, trustworthy and loving your mother was, despite you living on the other side of the world. You reassured her countless times that her mother’s love for her was equal, if not greater, but tempered by grief and overprotection.

You would lie if you said you didn’t miss kate—even if it had only been a week. Kate practically lived at your place due to her tumultuous relationship with her mother. Not like you were against it. You loved her pecan pie on Sundays.

You and Kate had been best friends since college, where you had been roommates. Both of you were naïve, young, and foolish, but in the best possible way. You complemented each other perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle that clicked together effortlessly.

Your friendship was a sanctuary of purest loyalty and understanding, untainted by judgment or betrayal, that’s why lying to her was extremely hard for you. However you couldn’t avoid her anymore, you needed to talk to her; so you finally conceived yourself accepting her call.

As you finally answered, Kate's voice erupted from the other end in a mix of worry and frustration. "Why the hell haven't you been picking up uh? You piece of shit!" Her words were sharp, filled with concern beneath the anger.

“Kate,calm down” you replied trying to keep your voice steady.

"I'm sorry…yesterday was…rough— someone... someone was found dead at the law firm….It's probably Davis, my supervisor; I don’t know much but it seems serious” you took a breath before continuing to talk “also my boss is MIA” you finished, choosing your words careful to not reveal too much. For the first time in your friendship, you were keeping something significant from her, not out of deceit but out of necessity.

The line was silent for a moment before Kate responded, her tone softening slightly. "Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“yeah I’m alright…just uh still in shock..but I’ll let you know when they tell us more; probably this morning”

“Eait you’re going to work after what happened?”

“Yeah, we all have to, but don’t worry kate, I’m okay now” you remarked, sensing the need for a change of topic—“anyway, how are you? how’s Bali?”

“Bali’s..okay…I mean don’t get me wrong, the beaches are gorgeous, but I miss New York”

“Oh Kate, not again! there’s only one week left..enjoy yourself, get a gorgeous tan, drink as much as you want, flirt with the boyzzz” you say enthusiastically.

“I feel like you need this vacation more than me” she says with a sigh.

“Maybe I do” you said—a weak attempt at humor.

"Seriously, you okay? You don’t sound like yourself" Kate pressed, her concern palpable even through the phone.

“yes, kate I’m fine” you hesitated—the words had caught in your throat for a brief moment.

How could you explain the surreal encounter with Natasha, the death of your supervisor, you almost getting killed by your boss, and the existential dread that followed?—Kate had always been your rock, grounding you in reality, but this situation felt too dangerous. The thought of dragging Kate into this nightmare felt selfish, yet the need for her unwavering support was almost overwhelming. "Just…a lot on my mind. Work stuff too" you finally said, the half-truth sitting heavy on your conscience.

Kate's voice softened, the concern not fading but shifting into a familiar tone of support. "You know I'm here for you, right? Whatever it is, you don’t have to go through it alone."

Her words brought a lump to your throat, the sincerity piercing through your defenses. Despite the distance, despite the different realities you were living right now, Kate’s unwavering friendship was a beacon of hope. Maybe you couldn’t tell her everything— no, not yet—but knowing she was there for you was enough for now.

After assuring Kate that you were fine, (which you obviously weren’t) you talked for a few more minutes while you were having breakfast. You probed about her vacation in Bali, sensing her reluctance to share details, knowing the grim circumstances you were facing. Kate didn't want to seem insensitive or like she was boasting about her trip while you were dealing with such a heavy situation. Eventually, you both agreed to end the call—she needed to have breakfast with her mom and her mom's fiancé, and you needed to mentally prepare for the day ahead.

Hanging up, you couldn't shake the feeling that things were only going to get more complicated from here on.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The morning air was crisp as you made your way to the office, a gnawing sense of dread accompanying each step. As you entered the building, the usual hum of activity felt heavier, more subdued. You nodded at a few colleagues but kept your head down, avoiding prolonged interactions. Today, your goal was to blend into the background as much as possible.

As you approached your desk, you noticed a murmur spreading through the office. Small clusters of employees huddled together, their voices low but animated. The news had spread: Edward Davis had been found dead.

The office was alive with hushed conversations, speculations about what had happened, and what it meant for all of you.

As you were about to reach your desk, you found Ava already buried in her work. Her eyes were red-rimmed, a clear sign she hadn't slept well either. You exchanged a brief, weary smile before settling in.

"Hey" Ava said softly, breaking the silence. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm managing" you replied, trying to muster a convincing smile. "I was thinking of going through some of Davis's projects, see if I can pick up where he left off. Maybe it will help keep my mind off…things."

Ava approached with a look of concern etched across her face. "So, you've heard too?" she asked softly.

You met her gaze, a heavy sigh escaping your lips. "Yeah, I've been hearing whispers about it everywhere in here."

Ava nodded understandingly, her expression mirroring your solemnity. "It's unsettling, isn't it?"

You nodded in agreement, struggling to find words that could capture the mix of emotions swirling inside you. "It's just...hard to process.”

Ava nodded, her expression somber. "It's strange, isn't it? One moment he's here, the next... anyway, if you need any help, just let me know."

"Thanks, Ava" you said, appreciating her offer. —You turned your attention to the stack of files on Edward's desk, each one representing hours of his meticulous work.

Just as you were starting to immerse yourself in Edward's notes, the door to the office main door swung open.

You looked up to see the remaining CEO, James Anderson, entering with Emily at his side. Their faces were grave, adding to the already tense atmosphere.

"Attention, everyone" James called out, his voice carrying a note of urgency—"The police are in the building, and they will be questioning all employees. When you're called, please cooperate fully. I figure you’ve all heard the sad news; we need to get to the bottom of this, for Edward's sake and for the safety of everyone here."

Murmurs spread through the office as people exchanged worried glances. Your heart raced, knowing that you would soon have to face the authorities. You glanced at Ava, who gave you a supportive nod.

"Let's try to stay focused" Ava whispered, attempting to bring some normalcy back to the moment. "We'll get through this."

You took a deep breath and returned to the files in front of you. The work provided a small distraction, but your mind kept wandering back to the inevitable police interview—you needed to be prepared, not just to answer their questions, but to protect the secrets you had uncovered.

As you tried to concentrate, the words on the page blurred; the office felt stifling, the air heavy with unspoken fears. Edward's absence was palpable, a void that couldn't be filled with work or routine. And now, with the police involved, the stakes were higher than ever.

After what seemed like an eternity, though, in reality, only about twenty minutes had passed, Emily approached your desk carefully, her expression a mix of concern and weariness. She touched your shoulder, leaning in slightly. "You're up next" she said softly. "The police are ready to question you."

You felt a jolt of anxiety but nodded, trying to keep your composure. "Okay" you replied—your voice steady despite the turmoil inside.

Before you could move, Emily continued, her voice a touch more personal. "I also told the police that you were looking for Davis and that he had been looking for you. They suspect that Bowman had something to do with it, since he's MIA and was the last one to see Edward."

Her words hit you like a ton of bricks. Emily seemed heartbroken and incredulous, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I can't believe this is happening" she continued, shaking her head. "Edward was a good man, and now... this.”— She paused taking a deep breath. “But don't worry, you have nothing to fear. Just tell them what you know."

You reached out, squeezing her hand in silent support. "We'll get through this" you said, echoing Ava's earlier words of encouragement. But inside, the turmoil churned more heavily.

With a final glance at Ava, you stood up and made your way to the conference room, where the police were waiting. Each step felt like walking on a tightrope, with the abyss of uncertainty yawning below. This was it—the moment where everything could change.

You could lose everything; you couldn’t afford to make a single mistake.

Emily's small smile as she gestured toward the conference room door was both reassuring and laden with unspoken concern. Her eyes, usually bright and determined, now held a glint of worry, reflecting the gravity of the situation you were all living in. You nodded in acknowledgement, grateful for her silent encouragement, and took a deep breath to steady yourself before stepping into the room.

You entered the conference room, feeling the weight of the investigation settle heavily on your shoulders. The atmosphere was charged with tension, each moment stretching taut as you braced yourself for the probing questions ahead. Thankfully, you had spent the night rehearsing what to say, each word carefully chosen and mentally cataloged. The hours of restless tossing and turning in your bed had given you ample time to prepare, ensuring that your story was airtight. Or at least you hoped it would be.

Two detectives were seated at the table, their serious expressions making your stomach churn. One of them, a middle-aged man with graying hair and a stern face, nodded at you. "Good morning, Miss (y/n y/ln), please have a seat" he said. "I'm Detective Mitchell, and this is Detective Harris." He gestured to his partner, a younger woman with sharp eyes and a no-nonsense demeanor.

"Good morning" you replied, taking a seat and clasping your hands in your lap to hide their slight tremor.

"We understand this is a difficult time" Detective Mitchell began, his tone somewhat gentle. "But we need to ask you some questions about Edward Davis and your interactions with him before his death."

You nodded, doing your best to appear composed. "Of course" you said, keeping your voice steady— "I'll help in any way I can."

"Emily mentioned that you had been looking for Davis the night he was found dead" Detective Harris said, leaning forward slightly. "Can you explain why?"

"Yes" you said, taking a deep breath. "Edward is…was my supervisor, and I needed him to review the work on a case I had finished. I went looking for him, but Emily had told me that he was in a late meeting with Bowman. I went to his office and knocked, but no one answered I made sure no one was there. However, I knew better than to disturb the CEO during a meeting—so I left."

The detectives exchanged a glance before continuing their line of questioning. You answered as truthfully as you could, omitting the supernatural elements and focusing on the mundane aspects of your interactions. The weight of your concealed knowledge pressed heavily on your conscience, but you couldn't afford to let it slip.

"Did Edward ever mention any concerns or threats?" Detective Mitchell asked, leaning forward slightly.

"Not directly" you said, frowning in concentration. "But he did seem more on edge recently. I just thought it was the pressure from the projects we were handling."

They nodded, noting your responses. Detective Harris flipped through her notes before asking—"Were you aware of any conflicts between Edward Davis and Mr Bowman?"

You shook your head. "Nothing out of the ordinary. They had disagreements, sure, but nothing that seemed serious."

After what felt like an eternity, the questioning finally concluded. The officers thanked you for your cooperation and told you that you were free to go. You stood up, your legs feeling unsteady beneath you.

Returning to your desk, you found it difficult to concentrate on the work in front of you. The office buzzed with nervous energy, the tension palpable. You knew that the day's events were far from over, and the real challenge lay in maintaining the facade you had carefully constructed.

Ava gave you a reassuring smile as you passed her desk, but the worry in her eyes mirrored your own. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever came next.

What if the security cameras had captured your hurried departure from Bowman's office, or worse, your flustered demeanor? Would the detectives interpret it as suspicious behavior? —You couldn't shake the feeling that every move you made was under scrutiny, every word you spoke weighed against yourself.

The day unfolded beneath the weight of palpable tension that seemed to seep into every corner of the office. Thoughts of Davis, his sudden absence and the unsettling whispers that flitted around occupied your mind, making it impossible to focus on your task. It was a stark reminder of how swiftly people's perceptions could shift; just days ago, your colleagues might have grumbled about Davis behind closed doors, yet now they were engaged in feigned sympathy and outreach to his grieving family—It struck a chord within you, this human inclination to reassess and sometimes sanctify individuals once they're no longer present.

Amidst the murmurs a middle-aged woman, who you remembered her name to be Lilian and two other women who you did not recognize, walked from desk to desk, discussing plans for a gathering to commemorate Davis's life on Monday. Their sudden shift in demeanor, from casual office gossip to earnest condolences, wasn't lost on you. It was a performance of respect that contrasted sharply with their previous feelings and opinion.

Oh the irony of it all, you thought as you sought quickly “refuge” in Ava's office. "Are we still on for those cocktails?" you blurted out almost desperately as Ava greeted you with a knowing look. Without hesitation, she nodded, understanding the urgency in your request. You quickly made plans and escaped the suffocating atmosphere of the office.

Walking through the busy streets of New York, the chill air nipped at your skin despite the layers you wore—you could almost hear your mother's voice admonishing you for not wearing a scarf and hat, which you despised for they seemed to always irritate your skin. The click of your high heels on the pavement echoed in the bustling cityscape, a reminder of the relentless pace of urban life, as you and Ava walked side by side.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Stepping into the cocktail bar felt like entering a different world. Soft lighting enveloped the room, casting a cozy glow over the polished wooden bar, the scent of cigar lingered in the air— the aroma mingled with the soft jazz playing in the background, creating an ambiance that made you feel at peace for an instant. If that was even possible. Peace.

The clink of glasses and the murmur of conversations created a soothing backdrop as you both settled into a corner booth. You found yourself drawn to observing the people around you, each clad in their work attire. You wondered what was hidden beneath their professional exteriors, surely it couldn’t have been as worse as the secrets you were hiding—still you couldn't help but speculate about their lives. What were their aspirations, fears, and burdens? —That’s what kept your mind occupied as Ava recounted the intricate beginnings of her relationship with Louis.

She spoke with a mixture of sarcasm and affection, making you laugh as she mimicked his deep voice and exaggerated mannerisms. “So then he says, ‘Ava, you're like no one I've ever met’ "and I'm thinking, 'Oh great, here comes the line that'll get him slapped.' But instead, I laugh and then I kiss him, and there we are, two idiots laug..” Ava paused mid-sentence, noticing your distant expression.

“Hellooo!? earth to (y/n)" she called out, waving a hand in front of your face. "You still with me?"

You snapped back, managing a weak smile. "Yeah, sorry, just a lot on my mind today" —Ava gave you a knowing look and flagged down the bartender. "Two of your strongest, please.”

As the drinks arrived, Ava slid one over to you. "Here, this'll do the trick. She said grinning at you. Ava raised her glass "To us handling this shit together." "To us" you echoed, clinking your glass against hers.

"So," Ava began, taking a sip, "what's eating you so bad?"

You sighed, swirling the amber liquid in your glass. "It's just... everything that happened today. The whole office buzzing about Davis, people suddenly acting like they cared."

Ava rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Half of them probably couldn't stand him when he was alive. Now they're all 'Poor Davis this' and 'Poor Davis that.' Hypocrites."

"Right?" you said, feeling a bit lighter. "It's like they forgot everything they said about him just a few days ago."

"They always do" Ava replied with a smirk. "But you know what? Screw them. Tonight is about us. No work talk, no office drama.Just you, me, and these kickass cocktails." —You couldn't help but laugh at Ava's attempt to lighten the mood as she quickly swallowed her drink. Taking a deep breath, you decided to follow her lead, setting aside the weight of the day for the moment. Ava leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Now, tell me. Have you seen that bartender? Total eye candy. And he seems interested, given that he hasn't taken his eyes off us for a second, if I might add."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Only you would come to a bar to pick up the bartender"

"Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do" Ava replied, winking. "And...you know that I’m very into Louis right now, however, I think you two could churn out awesome babies”

You rolled your eyes, laughing despite yourself. "Please, like I need that kind of drama in my life"

Ava grinned. "Come on, you know I'm right. You two would have the cutest kids. Besides, it’s not like you’re seeing anyone else..."

You sighed, taking a sip of your cocktail. "Yeah, well, it’s not exactly at the top of my to-do list, Ava”

Ava raised an eyebrow, a sly grin creeping across her face. "Or is there someone else on your mind?"

"No, there's no one" you replied quickly, too quickly. The image of a certain redhead had flashed through your mind. You brushed it off, convincing yourself that you were just inebriated by her charm—You vaguely remembered reading something about vampires being able to enchant people. Probably just a myth, but it was a convenient enough excuse to ease your mind.

"Uh-huh" Ava said, clearly not buying it. "I know that look”

You smirked, shaking your head. "There's really no one." Ava leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "Sure, sure. But if there was someone, you'd tell me, right?"

“Of course" you lied smoothly, taking another sip to avoid her piercing gaze.

She laughed, nudging you with her elbow. "Alright, I'll let it slide for now. But I expect details the minute you find someone interesting. Deal?"

"Deal" you agreed, feeling the tension in your shoulders loosen slightly. —Ava's playful banter was exactly what you needed to distract yourself, just only for a moment.

"Good. Now, back to Louis" Ava continued excitedly.

Watching Ava talking about Louis, you couldn't help but notice the way her eyes twinkled with genuine excitement and affection. It was clear that she was really into him, perhaps more than she even realized. You started wondering if you were ever going to feel that way about someone, if you were destined for that kind of connection—Would you ever find someone who made your heart race just by walking into the room? Someone whose mere presence could light up your world the way Louis did for Ava?—Or were you doomed to be an observer, always on the outside looking in, marveling at the happiness of others while your own heart remained untouched?

A part of you couldn't help but hope that one day, you'd experience that kind of love too— A love that doesn’t need to be asked or prayed for, a love that makes you feel whole without demanding pieces of yourself.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

As you stumbled through your flat's gate, each uneven step echoing in the quiet corridor, the faint optimism from your evening with Ava helped alleviate the weight on your shoulders—though it might have been the lingering effects of the alcohol.

With each precarious ascent up the stairs, your feet begged for respite—the unforgiving heels a torment that briefly sharpened your focus as you aimed the keys at the lock.

Finally inside, you shut the door behind you with a sense of relief—the world outside momentarily silenced as you kicked off your heels—the cool floor a welcome contrast to the ache in your feet.

"Enjoyed yourself?" a warm, mellifluous voice broke through the silence of your apartment. —Had you imagined it? —You had enough alcohol in your veins to rival your blood supply. But this voice, you knew well enough this voice, for your mind had replayed it endlessly for the past two days for it to stick in your mind permanently.

Turning carefully around, your eyes caught a figure perched on your couch, bathed in the gentle moonlight filtering through the partly-open window. Recognition washed over you, followed by a wave of relief.

"Natasha?" you asked, your voice tinged with surprise and a hint of annoyance as you reached for the light switch, flooding the room with a warm glow.

"That would be me, yes" she replied, her lips curling into a mischievous grin.

"What are you doing here?" you demanded, unimpressed by her ability to break into your apartment for the second time. The how of it no longer seemed relevant; you knew she wouldn't explain anyway.

"Looking for you, obviously. But you were taking too long, so I thought I’d entertain myself with a book. Hope you don't mind" she said, casually indicating the open book on her lap.

"I—uh..." you began, but she interrupted before you could form a coherent thought.

"By the way, I found your little notes on the book very amusing" she remarked, her smirk widening.

"Amusing?" you echoed, confusion coloring your tone.

"Yes, amusing" she confirmed. "However,as much as compelling that would be, I’m not here to discuss your insightful marginalia."

"Then why are you here?" you responded, maybe too quickly for the vampire’s liking— your curiosity tinged with apprehension.

"Is my presence here disturbing you in any way?" she asked, setting the book aside and rising gracefully from the couch.

"No, no..." you blurted out almost too quickly. "I'm just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, they say" she murmured, taking slow, deliberate steps towards you, her eyes glinting with amusement.

You flinched at her response, your mind racing. Was she here to kill you? Is that what she had meant? Had her intentions changed?

"Are you saying you’re here to..." you gulped, your voice barely a whisper, "kill me?"

"Darling, relax. I can feel how stiff you are. I'm not here to kill you" she assured—her tone soothing your paranoid thoughts.

"Thanks" you mumbled, her smile rendering you momentarily speechless. It was embarrassing how easily she affected you.

"So...you still haven’t replied to my question" she prompted, her patience seemingly endless.

"Yeah, your question, right..." you stammered, trying to recall what she'd asked. The alcohol hadn’t entirely worn off, and her unexpected presence scrambled your thoughts further. — What had she asked again? Her mere presence seemed to erase your memory, leaving you in a daze.

She smiled softly, clearly amused by your struggle to remember.

"How much have you had?" she inquired—her voice pulling you back to reality.

"Uh, what?" you asked, still disoriented.

"Alcohol. I could smell it on you since you opened the door" she said— her smirk softening into a more genuine smile.

"Uh, just enough to forget about everything" you admitted, your words tumbling out in a ramble.

Natasha's expression shifted, a flicker of concern crossing her features. "So you have come to reason; you wish to forget."

"No, that's not what I meant... I, uh, I kept thinking about Davis, and then…and then the detectives questioning us all, my colleagues... It was just overwhelming, I felt like I needed a night out with a friend" you confessed, your voice tinged with the day's accumulated stress and worry.

"Detectives, you say?" Her concern deepened, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Yeah, they questioned us all this morning" you explained—the memory of the interrogation fresh in your mind.

As you spoke, your movements were restless, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your blouse, your eyes darting around the room. — Natasha's gaze followed your every move, her eyes darkening with a mix of curiosity and something else you couldn’t quite place—Despite the day's events, or perhaps because of them, her presence had a grounding effect on you.

Natasha’s brow furrowed slightly, her gaze steady on yours, as she leaned closer. “What did you tell them?”

“The thruth”

- - -- -- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -- -- - -

Note:

hello:)

I've been tinkering with this chapter for weeks now, trying to get it just right. In the meantime, I've already started working on the next one. But, I have to be honest—I'm not sure when I'll get around to posting it because I've got exams coming up soon.

I'll do my best to get the next chapter out to you as soon as possible!

160 notes · View notes

crushedsweets · 1 year ago

Note

How would the other pastas/proxies react if Toby died during a mission?

Writing on my phone in the car 10 mins before my shift forgive me… finished during my lunch break…

Tim would try really really fucking hard to pretend he doesn’t care all that much. He’s already lost plenty of friends/colleagues (directly or indirectly) to the operator and slenderman, and he always treated Toby like he was a pain in the ass, but like. Him and Brian took Toby in when he was just 17-18, he tried to make him a better man, the two of them have done abhorrent shit together and had to return to the cabin like nothing happened. He’d cry, spend long hours thinking about Toby, thinking about how much of a dick he was to the kid. But he’s strong . Kinda

Brian wouldn’t try to pretend he doesn’t care, although he is in a very similar boat to Tim. Took him in, guided him, hurt him - he would probably be the one to set up a grave of some sort for Toby, whether or not they even have his body to bury. The rest of them wouldn’t be able to do it

It’s possible that Kate wouldn’t even find out for a long fucking while. But she would cry, and mourn, and she would start going back to the cabin and she would sleep in the attic (Toby’s room) and it would be shitty. Toby was the only proxy to treat her like a person and they were both outcasts in their own right, both being the closest to perfect vessels slenderman/the operator could get . So it would suck ass.

I think Natalie would just die too. Ok not really but he was the first person to really just. Take care of her. And she really trusted that he would never ever leave her, not like everyone else . She would be angry, pissed beyond belief and she would cry and scream and throw around any of the gifts he’s ever gotten her and smash some shit he’s made her - and it wouldn’t be fair, and she would regret it, and hopefully someone would be there to pull her back before she legitimately fucks it all up, but she can’t get rid of that anger. Like Kate, she would go to the cabin. Being there too long gets her really bad slender sickness, she’s not immune like the others, but she doesn’t really care. Everything hurt so bad anyway, the screaming and crying already brought her nausea and migraines. Her and Kate would just silently lounge around his bedroom for hours everyday. Natalie is a tattoo artist with little to no tattoos bc commitment issues is a big thing for her, but she would get a little something to honor Toby

Jack would mourn . Toby used to bring flowers to his mom for Mother’s Day, because Jack couldn’t bare to be in a 10 mile radius of his family. He would try to host something for people, just invite them over and make some food and try to talk and have comfort. Only Natalie and Nina would come by choice, not because the rest don’t care but it’s just something they can’t handle to do. Kate might get dragged along. It would be painful and uncomfortable and probably just result in an argument of sorts, depending on how far along Natalie is in the grieving process . He would visit the grave Brian made for toby quite often.

Nina would be constantly crying, all the time. She’s had shitty men after shitty men in her life, the only good guys she’s had were her father and brother and she went ahead and left them behind to go seek out Jeff - but Toby was good(to a point, obviously). He was rough around the edges but he was protective, he took care of her, he defended her even if she didn’t deserve it. She and Natalie would probably have a few intense arguments because they’re two sides of the same coin in their grieving , with Natalie having constant explosive anger and Nina having long, drawn out grieving and sobbing. It would be a bit much for both of them. She would mope around her apartment for a long while.

BEN would also be pretty sad, but not nearly as much as the rest. He would talk it out with Jeff but wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t mourn , would just keep going. Jeff wouldn’t give a shit, would say it was bound to happen and to move on

Ann and Lulu would be pretty bummed out too, but Ann moves on pretty quickly. For Ann it’s more so a sad “Aw but he was fun”… lulu is too lost in her own head to spend too much time on it, but she’s undeniably sad when she’s reminded

Sally would also be sad, but similarly to BEN, she would move on. Cry to Jane about it and cope. Jane would think it’s sad, but she wouldn’t dwell on it either - she wasn’t close to him, she only knew him in passing whenever Sally got lost in the forest.

Liu doesn’t know Toby well so he wouldn’t think much, but Nina would cry to Liu about it a lot and it would be pretty depressing for him too. Just by watching how it affects Nina

#creepypasta #ticci toby #toby rogers #Masky #hoody #creeped #clockwork #natalie oullette #natalie ouellette #Nina the killer #Kate the chaser #I don’t think I wanna tag everyone I’m lazy #asks

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kathonydaily · 3 years ago

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It’s my humble opinion that ‘marrying Kate’ was part of the ‘new perspective’ Anthony had after talking to Benedict at his art school in ep7. He wanted to court her properly, and then, after the scandal died down, he would have asked her to marry him. That’s also why he tried to talk to her about their kiss at the art gallery, mentioning that he was wishing for a moment alone with her. He wanted to talk about them, about their future.

He tried again later in the episode when they were alone in that gazebo, but then they began bickering, the frustration mounting, the emotions running high, and like always in her presence his mind stopped working properly. And well, we all know what happened next. And of course, he didn’t regret a thing, he was happy for the first time in a long time, actually SLEEPING (we never saw Anthony sleeping until that moment) peacefully next to the woman he loved, and wished to marry.

But then he woke up and she was gone. He knew in that moment that he kinda fucked up, because he didn’t tell her his true intentions, and she deserved so much more than being seduced in his family’s gazebo. So he went inside and took the ring. His plan wasn’t exactly going how he had envisioned, she deserved to be courted, cherished, and the scandal wasn’t definitely going to die down anytime soon, but who cared at that point. He loved her and wanted her to be his wife as soon as possible.

Then she almost died, and his plan weavered again, because his trauma returned with a force of a thousand suns. But after talking with his mother, he knew what he had to. He wasn’t going to lose her. So he took up the courage and went to see her. He apologized for what happened because well, in his mind she did deserve more, and he didn’t want their first time to happen like that (also she was literally running away the morning after, almost ending up killing herself in the process, so he thought an apology was in order). But...she didn’t respond to his proposal as he wished. She didn’t want to marry him. Anthony was able to immediately tell why: she was running away, like she ran away after their first time together. And he got it because, well, he did run away too. He spent 6 episodes running away from his feelings, hiding behind duty because he was scared of love. And he couldn’t force her to accept his proposal as much as he couldn’t force her to love him. So he didn’t push and let her go.

Until that night at the Featherington’s ball. He couldn’t stop looking at her, he was so relieved that she was enjoying herself, that her and her sister seemed to have find some common ground, after everything that happened. Then, since he couldn’t stay away from long, he took up the courage to go to her. And they flirted, and they danced, maybe for the last time. And when she left him after their dance, he knew what he had to do. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Probably she would have left him either way, but she deserved to know that there was a man in England who loved her deeply and always will. So he told her, and suprisingly a miracle: she loved him too. In that moment he understood what really went wrong with the first proposal: he was so focused on everything that went wrong with his original plan, that he forgot the most important thing: to be honest and open his heart to her. And this time he got it right.

#bridgerton #kathony #kanthony #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #s2 #text

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altsvu · 3 years ago

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left in the dark

pairing: jj x kate callahan x bau!fem!reader, aaron hotchner x bau!fem!reader

wc: 1.6k

summary: you find out you’re pregnant with Hotch’s baby (in the most unexpected way) and you go to JJ and Kate about it since they’re also pregnant, but their only advice is to tell Hotch about it.

tw: pregnancy, fluff, mentions of blood/injury, breeding kink??

a/n: at first this was super hard for me to write, mostly because this is different than what i’m used to, but i think it turned out okay! enjoy my lovelies!!

criminal minds masterlist! ✯ taglist!

✯✯✯✯

“JJ! When were you gonna tell me?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted to wait till things played out.”

You smiled. “Well, I’m super happy for you regardless.”

“Thank you.” JJ smiled, pulling you into a hug. “So, how are things going with you and Hotch?”

You bit your lip. Hotch was the sweetest to you. He took you to romantic dates on off days and you always checked up on each via text messages and FaceTime when one of you were away.

Not to mention that your sex life was immaculate.

“Things are going pretty well, to be honest. We’re actually going to rent out the AMC movie theater in Arlington this weekend and watch our favorite throwback movies.”

“Oh, that sounds super romantic, I’m actually super glad that you two finally decided to get together after he was pining for you for years.”

You snorted. “We were both pining for each other. For a very very long time.”

“Yeah, the team had their suspicions.” JJ agreed. “You ready to head to the jet?”

You nodded and followed JJ out to the tarmac.

✯✯✯✯

You and Hotch had to go check out the crime scene, and it was a gruesome one. A family of 5 were bludgeoned in their home late at night, and the wife... well she had multiple knife cuts on her abdomen.

Out of nowhere, you felt sick to your stomach. This was unusual, especially for you since you got used to seeing many different types of crime scenes. You tried your hardest to breathe calmly but you felt yourself about to throw up.

“... he hurts them before finally killing them. Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just probably ate something bad-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence when you found yourself running outside and throwing up. You wiped your mouth and took deep breaths, trying to process what just happened.

“Sweetheart?” Hotch whispered. You turned around and he held you by your arms. “What’s going on? This is very unlike you.”

“I- I don’t know what’s going on.” you replied. “This never happens.”

He pulled you into a hug. “Do you want me to take you back to the field office?” He murmured into your hair.

“No, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay.”

You caught Hotch still staring you down with a concerned look on his face.

“Damn it Aaron. Don’t worry about me. I don’t want to be the reason we don’t find this unsub in a timely manner.”

“Okay, you’re right. But can you please let me know if you don’t feel well?”

“Yes sir.” You smiled, pressing a kiss on his cheek and walking back to the crime scene.

✯✯✯✯

When you got back to the field office, Hotch had to talk to the field agent on the case in his office, and you had to go to the conference room to look over some case files.

Hunger then struck over you, so you headed to the vending machine you noticed earlier to find a snack to hold you over until lunch. The options that were there weren’t appealing to you, so it looked like you weren’t gonna be eating for about a few more hours. To your luck, Kate and JJ were in the conference room when you got back.

“Girls, I swear I’m gonna die if I don’t have anything in my system.”

“You want some saltines? It’s all I have.” JJ asked.

“Oh yes, please.” You nodded. JJ handed you a fresh pack.

You were so indulged in them that you almost finished the pack. JJ and Kate caught on

extremely fast.

“Are you pregnant too?” Spencer asked, walking in.

“What? What makes you think I’m pregnant?”

Kate sat next to you. “Well, for starters, you’re eating saltines.”

“Because I didn’t want anything at the vending machine.”

“There’s a pattern here. Kate ate saltines, I caught JJ eating saltines, and now you’re eating them.”

You sighed, putting the rest of the pack down. “Look, pretty boy, I think I would know if I were pregnant.”

“If you say so,” Reid answered with a smile on his face.

The rest of the team came in, and all thoughts of you being pregnant dissipated.

✯✯✯✯

Over the next few days, you had some of the same symptoms and you started to wonder if you were actually pregnant. You wanted to buy a test but it would be hard to do so when your job came first.

Soon enough, the case was closed and you were heading back home. Everyone on the jet was asleep except you and Hotch.

“Hey,” he said softly. “How you feeling?”

“Like eating a 5 course meal and throwing it back up.” you moaned, curling up closer to him for comfort.

“I’ll take you home and cook you a nice meal, okay?”

You nodded, mumbling “I love you” and he kissed your lips in response.

Finally getting home, Hotch did as he promised and you spent the night cuddling and comforting each other.

The next morning you felt yourself throwing up again so you decided it was time to get a pregnancy test. Hotch had already left to go back to Quantico to do some paperwork but the rest of the team was off. You dragged yourself to a nearby store to get a test and took it immediately.

Two lines.

How would Hotch react?

He always talked about having kids, in fact he almost got turned on at the thought of you with a baby bump. But the only thing was that he wanted things to be planned out.

You figured he was pretty busy at the moment so you called JJ and Kate and asked to come over to one of their homes. Ultimately, JJ invited you and Kate over.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kate asked when you arrived.

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered. Both of the women hugged you and congratulated you. They then sat you down at JJ’s dining room table.

“Does Hotch know?”

You bit your lip. “That’s the thing. He doesn’t really know yet. I don’t really know what to do.”

“Well I think the best thing to do is tell him. There’s no way that he would get mad. He loves you too much.” JJ suggested.

You nodded in agreement.

“Also, he’s gonna find out soon enough, so it would be better to just let him know so he expects it,” Kate added.

“You ladies are so right. I’ll let you know how things go!”

✯✯✯✯

When you got back home, Hotch was at the couch watching a show, but it looked more like he was about to fall asleep.

“Hi baby,” you murmured against his skin after ridding yourself of your outerwear and shoes.

“Y/N...” he whispered. He sat up and held you by your waist. “I missed you when I came in.”

“Yeah, I just went over JJ’s for a bit.”

Hotch nodded. There was a bit of silence between you two.

“You look like there’s something bothering you.” he then said.

You shut your eyes, trying to think of the right way to tell him. “Aaron, I’m pregnant.” you said so very quietly.

His eyes widened in excitement. “Y/N! Oh my gosh, I’m ecstatic! This is amazing!”

You smiled and laughed in joy with him as one of his hands sneaked under your shirt and rubbed your belly. He was now sitting upright with you on his lap.

“God, I don’t think you know how long I’ve thought about this.” Hotch hummed, kissing your bare skin. “All those times filling you up with my seed in the bedroom paid off big time. I can’t wait to see your belly grow and grow.”

You leaned down and kissed his lips. “Mmm, I can’t wait either.”

✯✯✯✯

It was just a matter of time before the rest of the team found out. You did not hear the end of it from Spencer when he figured that he was right the whole time.

Hotch, on the other hand, didn’t waste any time serenading and whispering sweet nothings about how you looked so beautiful with your ever growing baby bump to you every day after work, even sometimes during work too. He’d always say that he was just super excited that you were pregnant with his baby every time you asked.

Your pregnancy was so special to the team that Kate and JJ threw a surprise baby shower, in which everyone found out you and Hotch were having a little girl.

In a few short months, your due date was inching closer and closer, and Hotch was there by your side through everything, from when your water broke in the briefing room to when you were being rushed to a hospital room to have the baby delivered.

And finally.

You welcomed a baby girl into the world.

“She’s so beautiful. Just like you.” Hotch smiled and kissed your lips after you were able to hold your baby again.

You nodded in agreement, tears escaping your eyes. You thought about what your life was going to be like now, since you had a precious little one to take care of.

During your maternity leave, each member of the team came to visit you at home, some bearing small gifts for your baby.

“Hey,” Hotch came up to you one night after putting your baby to bed. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed the skin behind it. “Can I tell you something?”

“Mhmm, anything.”

“I’m really glad that we have a baby to take care of. I’ve wanted this for such a long time, and having it with you just makes it even better.”

You smiled in response. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I love you so much, Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @storiesofsvu @averyhotchner @ssaic-jareau @blackbeautifulqueen @virgo-gf @mstrinnyb @mrshadeelgibson @ssahotchswifemain @anxiousblanketqueen @hotchsbabygirl @willowrose99 @ssa-sarahsunshine @deiondraaa

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iamnmbr3 · 3 years ago

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Another day. Another questionable interview from someone involved with the production. This time the Director (who to her credit at least is better than Mike Waldron in that she is able to say she likes Loki’s character whereas his interviews drip with open disdain and disrespect and he can’t even pretend otherwise). (x)

Kate Herron: But Loki doesn't have many friends, you know? He builds this friendship with Mobius across the second episode.

Here again we get out-of-universe confirmation that the narrative framing of Mobius in a positive light is intentional. Mobius is not Loki’s friend. He’s his captor and his torturer. Loki isn’t on equal footing with Mobius. They don’t even have a boss-employee relationship. LOKI WAS MOBIUS’S SLAVE until he escaped. He was being held against his will and coerced under threat of death to work for Mobius and his organization without compensation. That is slavery. And it’s not ok.

Mobius also berated him by telling him that he is inherently evil and monstrous - the very things that drove him to suicide. Mobius is complicit in acts of torture, genocide, murder, privacy violation, and police brutality and shows no signs of having any problem with it. He’s no more Loki’s friend than Thanos or the Black Order are.

When has he ever treated Loki with dignity or respect? Even if we ignore all the horrific stuff, he’s just plain not nice to Loki. He constantly mocks and belittles him and never takes his side. That’s not a how a friend behaves! That’s how a bully behaves! Where is the basis for this friendship??!!

Kate Herron: “And obviously, we're seeing it through Loki and Sylvie's POV. You know, neither of them are good or bad. A complete, pure good hero would probably join the queue and be like, "Well, hopefully we'll get on the train." But they're not those characters. They're going to try and get on it.”

They snuck onto a train??? That’s what she thinks a grey character is? That’s so dull! Loki was a complex and grey character. Larry (as I call the tv show character) and Sylvie...got on a train without a ticket. That’s laughable! That doesn’t make me think about complex morality or issues. And c’mon. All the heroic Avengers have done that level of rule breaking MANY times and they don’t lose their “pure good hero status.” Tony Stark constantly does things like that! I want Loki back. HE is a grey character. But I haven’t seen him in the show so far. Instead I get Larry the watered down clown.

Kate Herron: “When Loki and Mobius are at Pompeii, for example, that's shown through Loki's POV, right? He's joyous and he cracked the case. Pompeii was horrific, but we're seeing it through his perspective and he's in a completely different headspace.”

You know a scene can have more than one emotion right? Like he could be happy about solving the case but also horrified at the destruction of Pompeii? Instead he is laughing at the people who are about to die horrifically and seems to have no compassion for them whatsoever. Sure people can headcanon reasons why he behaved that way (and more power to them. Fixing dumb canon is what fandom is all about!) but the narrative framing is to me pretty clearly lighthearted and the director confirms that intent. There seems to be no awareness that by having Loki behave so callously it makes him come across as incredibly cruel. Far more than he ever was in canon.

In Thor 2011 Thor is laughing while slaughtering Jotnar (as is considered appropriate in his culture) but Loki isn’t. He kills when he has to but he doesn’t enjoy it, something that’s unusual for the culture he was raised in. This Pompeii scene could’ve been a great time to see Loki’s more compassionate side as he looks at the people who are going to die. We could’ve seen some real conflict from him. And it would’ve been a great moment to start introducing the concept that he’s more than just a simple villain to more casual viewers. Instead, although they think they’re “redeeming” Larry over the course of the show they’ve made him far worse and more villainous. I wish they had hired an experienced Director who also understands Loki - like Kenneth Brannaugh!!! - rather than a Director who has never headed up a major project before. Though even the best Director couldn’t fix the abysmal and ooc script and story Mike Waldron came up with.

Kate Herron: “I think that's the thing that's really key for her is that she's a completely original character, completely born out of our writers, and that, for me, was exciting.”

Remember when I said Sylvie is the favored OC? Called it.

Kate Herron: “The train scene I love because Loki doesn't get many wins and it's nice to see him having a nice sing-song. He's just enjoying himself. Because I think that's such a funny way, as well, to show the difference between him and Sylvie is that she's on a mission. She's like, "We're going to get off this moon." And when she's offered a drink, she's like, "No, thank you."

WOW. I hate this SO much. So suddenly Sylvie gets to act more like Loki and Loki suddenly doesn’t know how to be subtle and is just a dumb clown messing everything up. C’mon! This is absolutely ridiculous. This is not Loki silvertongue. This is not the Loki who tried to diffuse the situation on Jotunheim and almost succeeded. This is not the Loki who was always a restraining voice in Thor’s ear. They’ve turned Sylvie into discount Loki without any depth or complexity or vulnerability and they’ve turned Loki into discount Thor ft. dumb clown! Absolutely outrageous.

Kate Herron: “everything is not what it seems and even in our design, people have picked up on certain things. Like the way that they dress, or the posters and that there's something a bit more going on there.”

If the TVA actually turn out to be twist villains I will laugh SO hard; I’d say that twist is too dumb even for Marvel but...it’s really not! Like. Guys. If they’re gonna be TWIST villains you have to not have them do obviously villainous things on screen!!!! BECAUSE THEN IT’S NOT A TWIST!!!!

From the moment we meet them we see them commit acts of police brutality, murder, genocide, trial without due process, enslavement, privacy violation, and torture IN ORDER TO ELIMINATE FREE WILL. Like. They are literally the most evil organization in the MCU. Even Thanos can’t compare. So having them be revealed as villains will fall flat. Because the twist isn’t the audience learning new information or the main character learning it. It’s just the narrative suddenly acknowledging it and treating their atrocities seriously. So the twist is in the real world not the show. And it’ll make Larry look like an even bigger idiot than he already does if he’s suddenly like “Wait the people who tortured and enslaved me are evil?! What?!??!” (I stg if he has to fight miss minutes in the end like I joked about I will lose it).

Also. Why make it a twist?! When you treat the villains as a joke it robs the narrative of tension. Their acts of evil should’ve been acknowledged from the beginning in order to create sympathy for the protagonist and tension in the narrative as we watch him try to escape this situation! Smh. The only funny joke in this series is how badly the writing fails.

#Loki tv series #random musings #Marvel #MCU #loki show #loki series #loki 2021 #loki tv show #Loki Series critical #loki tv series interviews #my post

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newtonsheffield · 3 years ago

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Harry, Dumbledore, can you please explain how I am feeling after Royals?

*continues crying in the bathroom*

I'm so sorry! But of course this is just a stop gap on the road to then being disgustingly happy.

There is an entire future out there of Anthony and Kate of state functions and family events. Of Anthony insisting that his tie and pocket square matches Kate's dress, insisting that they're all embroidered with her crest and initials, and Anthony gets upset when Kate decides last minute to change the dress she was going to wear and he shows up with the wrong pocket square like and idiot Kate! I could have belonged to anyone!

And there's a mad rush of activity because Sophie needs to figure out how the heckers to introduce Princess Katharine's new boyfriend to the public a few short weeks after she was supposed to you know, marry someone else. And they decide a visit to a primary school is the best way to go. An Attractive young couple surrounded by children, What could go wrong? Anthony is too nervous to upset the plans and tell Sophie that his sister Hyacinth goes to that School and so there, in the middle of the procession Hyacinth Sprints forward in front of the entire collective media of the country Hyacinth Bridgerton steps forward and yells out

"When you're the queen can you stop Gregory from flicking peas at me?"

And Kate looks a little surprised for about 2 seconds before she crouches down in front of Hyacinth and says "Probably, yes."

Hyacinth looks very shrewdly between her brother, who looks as though he's going to die of mortification and Kate who simply looks very curious. "You're very pretty in real life. More than in your pictures."

Kate laughs and swats Anthony away as he tries to say "Hyacinth, go back to your teacher, this isn't-"

"Thank you Hyacinth, now take your brothers hand, I have a lot of questions for you about this one."

"Well, I am the smartest of the family, so you were right to come to me."

The country is in love with them before the morning is done.

I would also like to offer up Anthony's Call sign: Originally it was Heartbreaker. The entire palace staff was a little bitter about the way everything went down and Mary honestly did very little to stop bowls of soup from getting dropped in his lap, sprinklers going off as he walked across the lawn, once Anthony was pretty sure he even saw Edwina with a hose before she sprinted away. But the Day they get married, as they get into the carriage, to begin the procession back through the city to the palace as is tradition, Anthony hears Steve mutter

"Corgi one and Mr Corgi are enroute to first checkpoint. Mother hen and baby bird following in the velvet coach."

And he can't stop grinning.

And after they've stood on the steps of the hospital and waved to the assembled crowd, the heir to the throne, proudly in Anthony's arms he can't help but let tears come to his eyes

"Corgi one, Mr Corgi and the Pup are safely in the car, ETA 17 minutes."

Over time, Baby Bird becomes Mother Goose when she marries Gander and Gosling one comes along but that's a story for another time.

#royals #princess diaries au #kathony #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #kate sharma #molly's asks and answers

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

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Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers

There are a lot of character deaths in TWDG... obviously. It a series about the literal dead walkin’ around and eating people, so as you’re playing, one of your favorite characters is bound to meet such a fate. To give this series credit, it does have quite a few well-executed deaths that, while I hate them, they have a purpose in the story that works.

The best example of this is Lee’s death-- we all hate that Lee dies, but it’s well-done. It serves its purpose, it acted as both a shock and a slow-burn for the player, and left us all an emotional mess.

However, we’re not talking about the “good” deaths today. No, we’re talking about the character deaths that are poorly executed, cheap, lazy, and just plain dumb... they’re the deaths that make me side-eye the writing team and wonder what the fuck happened there.

By the way, it was reeeeeeal fun narrowing it down to only five deaths, because it seems like for every great death, there’s at least two bad ones.

5. Mariana and her death that ruined ANF’s potential story

I’ve talked at length about Mariana’s death and how much I hate it. Like, I get it TWDG... you love your sudden deaths and you’re so edgy for killing off a child character because you’ve never done that before... but maybe consider things a little further before pulling the trigger?

Yeah, killing off Mariana the way they did got a reaction outta people when it happened, and we got the burial scene if you stayed with Clementine... but you didn’t consider the future of this storyline? You pretend you did by name dropping Mari when it’s convenient, but then throw it out the window when it comes to characters like David or Gabe.

Listen, I know that ANF is a mess and what’s the point in telling the mess that it’s a mess? Well, I’m still annoyed at the writers for wasting the biggest opportunity for this game’s story, something that could’ve saved it from being a mess.

And I get it, you gotta make a death quota, so instead of killing Mariana off... why not kill Kate off instead? Oh no? We don’t get the stupid love triangle that no one actually enjoys or is engaged in?

Instead of this dumb story about Javi falling in love with his sister-in-law but oh no David’s back.... we could’ve had a story about Javi losing Kate and being left to care for two children by himself. Mariana and Gabe are all he has left, and he going to do whatever he can to keep them safe all while the three of them are mourning Kate.

Then David comes back, and he immediately takes these kids away from Javi.

There is no stupid storyline with Kate, but an actual conflict between two brothers who were never on the same page and two kids caught in the middle.

Plus, Mariana herself as a character really could’ve brought something to the table. She could’ve brought out a lot in David’s character since she seems to be more like Javi.

Her death is just... annoying. It’s frustrating when you know they could’ve told a better story with her alive, something ANF desperately needed.

My side-eye is one of disappointment and annoyance.

4.Luke and his easily preventable drowning

Ugh.... where to even begin?

Luke really just gets butchered as a character throughout the second half of S2, and the writers end up demolishing the set up they placed at the beginning of the season for a Luke vs Kenny thing.

Why? Well, Luke vs Kenny was the initial ending they were gonna go with, but because this season went through all kinds of bullshit, they scrapped that and replaced Luke with Jane... and it’s so dumb.

Hell, it kind of ruins a lot. Not only did it ruin Luke, a character that many players loved, but it forces the new character of Jane, who we only get two episodes to get to know, so they can fade Luke out.

But that’s not all.

His death is so... ugh. It’s stupid, okay? Stupid and easily preventable, but noooo... we gotta kill Luke off for reasons because all we know is that S1 killed off a lot of characters and we’re gonna do that again but worse because we failed to understand what made those deaths impactful in the first place.

Lots of character death and despair = good game.

Yep, uh-huh. Okay.

So we all know that Luke’s leg is hurt, yeah? Great, so you’d think that the group that has an injured man and a new born baby would be extra cautious and go around the frozen lake. Yeah, Arvo says that it’s safe but let’s not take any chances.

But no. We gotta go across like a group of dingdongs and whattya know-- the ice begins to crack beneath Luke’s feet. Now, even here, we coulda got him outta there safely... if Bonnie wasn’t a dingus.

Think about it. If we shot the walkers who were coming towards Luke with all their weight, he could’ve slowly scooted away, even if he’s already fallen through. BUT NO. Bonnie either guilts Clementine into going towards him, adding more weight to the already fragile ice as Luke tells her to stop, or Bonnie will go over there herself... and she’s a full grown woman soooo her weight breaks the ice.

Good job, you dipsticks.

When you have to make your characters into morons in order to move the plot along and kill off characters....maybe do some rethinking, yeah?

3. Mitch and his shock-value death

This death is so dumb... so incredibly, dumb. Even now, I can’t help but give full side-eye to the writers every time one of them tries to justify this death.

I’m sorry, but this death didn’t have the impact you wanted it to have. And because there’s always someone who says, “Mitch didn’t die for shock value, you just can’t tell the difference between a good and bad death” lemme tell you a thing.

What was the point of killing of Mitch? Well, according to those who worked on TFS, it was to show that Lilly and the delta are serious. This is when shit gets real, and when Lilly is established as a bad bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. We should be scared of her now.

Except no.

This scene doesn’t tell me that Lilly is a bad bitch. It tells me that she has good reflexes, and going off her reaction after killing Mitch.... I’m not fucking scared of this dumbass. If anything, this scene says more about Mitch than it does Lilly. It says that Mitch is also a dumbass for running at her like he did.

Y’know what would’ve been more impactful? If Mitch didn’t immediately get stabbed in the throat, but instead, actually got her on the ground and struggled with Lilly. Then, Lilly gets the upper hand and when you think she’s about to send Mitch to the cart, she fucking murders him in front of everyone to prove a point.

There’s no remorse, it’s slow enough for Lilly to actually process what’s happening and show that she does know what she’s doing. That would scare me. That would show me that these people aren’t fucking around and they’re willing to kill some of them if that means getting the rest for their army.

You still get your shock value death but it actually does something other than kill a character off.

I’m really supposed to believe this is the same Lilly who can order to have Louis’ tongue cut off?

But it doesn’t end there. No, no... there’s another part to Mitch’s death that annoys me, and it’s how insistent everyone was that his death is going to have a greater impact on the second half of the story. It had a purpose within the story, we did it for a reason.

...I mean, it has an impact on Willy and his arc for the second half.

But that’s it.

Oh... oh, what’s that? Oh, you were referring to those throwaway lines about Tenn? “He was screwing up again, just like when he got Mitch killed.”

OOOOOH.... I see, that’s what Mitch’s death was really amounting to... some lines dealing with whether or not AJ shot Tenn. Well, I guess I was wrong. Mitch’s death wasn’t just shock value. It really had a big purpose. In fact, Mitch’s death has the biggest impact on the series. Fuck Marlon and Brody’s deaths, and Lilly and James, and hell, fuck Tenn’s death, too. They’re meaningless compared to Mitch’s death. You did it, guys. You really did it.

....Okay, I’m done. I’m just... salty, I fully admit.

Being serious again, Mitch’s death is probably the worst in TFS as far as unpreventable deaths go and the real reason I side-eye the writers is because they tried to tell us it was going to have this huge impact in the future and it just... didn’t.

2. Nick and his offscreen death.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck happened here? Why- what are you- how the hell did this happen??

I’m actually baffled.

Someone wrote this.

They set up at the end of ep3 that Nick is shot.... then ep4 comes and we find him like this. I just... did someone on the writing staff not wanna do their job that day? Someone was working on the story and at the last minute forgot Nick was a character, so they were like “Eh, he’s not important anyway, and it adds to the shittiness of everything so we’ll pretend this was 100% intentional.”

Nick was one of your more interesting characters and you really thought killing him off like this was the way to go, huh?

Like, his first death is shitty, but in the very least it kind of makes sense.

But this?

This is horrible. If I wrote this, I’d be embarrassed.

I just... I’m so tired of S2 right now.

This is at #2 because it’s just lazy, bad writing. At least with Luke, Mitch, and Mariana, we got to see their deaths and they had some, even if just a little, impact on the story afterward.

But Nick?

Nothin’.

Even Luke, who is the closest person to Nick, name drops him maybe twice? It’s just.... nothing.

And yeah, you can come at me with the “oh well not every death has to have meaning!”

This is a story, okay? This is a story crafted with characters who have arcs by people who wanted it to be a success, and usually that means having satisfying conclusions.... or, intentionally unsatisfying if that acts as a natural conclusion to their story or is a reoccurring theme.

Nick’s death is just the writers falling flat on their faces and hoping no one would notice.

1. Sarah and both of her shitty deaths.

Ugh. UGH.

Okay.

I’m not even side-eyeing anymore-- I’m fully glaring.

I don’t have to tell you how shitty both of Sarah’s deaths are. We all played S2, we all know that no matter what you do, Sarah dies in ep4. You can try to save her, she lives a little bit longer, and then falls to her death... and both deaths have her being devoured alive by walkers.

Now, this is enough to annoy me. First off, I guess my choices don’t really matter. Sure, you can justify this as one of those “sometimes you can’t save someone, no matter how hard you try” ...and fine. Sure, if they had bothered to execute that point well, then great.

But I disagree that the writers had that in mind when they were killing Sarah off.

In fact, I know what what going on in their brains-- “God, can’t wait to kill Sarah off! Give us any reason to do it! She’s so damn annoying!”

The writers have openly admitted that a lot of the team were just waiting to kill Sarah off, waiting for any reason, so when the major part of the community who take everything at surface level because why think? kept complaining about Sarah, they jumped on the opportunity to kill her off.... but the deaths are dumb.

Listen, this isn’t like when the writers planned on killing Lee off. You can plan a death and even be excited about it because you’re excited about the story and execution of it all. You can be excited to see the heartbreaking end of this character’s story that you crafted because you know you put everything you had into it.

These deaths were lazy and the product of a team who didn’t care about the character. Sarah dies and no one cares.

Sure, you leave her to die the first time and Jane does her thing about how you can’t save everyone, she talks about Jaime, and then Luke exposes himself as the fake Luke by agreeing that leaving Sarah behind was probably the right thing. Like what?

Now as much as I hate that first one, the second one is even worse.

For some reason, Sarah is standing in the corner while they’re trying to fight off the walkers instead of being inside with Rebecca... y’know, where she would be if this was logical.

Then the deck breaks and Sarah falls, trapped under a pile of wood. Jane, despite being the one who sees Sarah as a liability, goes down there to try and help her after Clementine begs her to.

But because the writers don’t know what they’re doing, Jane gets hit by a random piece of wood and can’t get Sarah out in time, leaving her to be eaten alive by walkers.

Then AJ is born and no one cares about Sarah ever again.

I just....

Could’ve had an interesting story arc with a character who just lost her father in such a gruesome way, a character that already deals with anxiety and other problems that you never bothered to explain other than “she isn’t like Clementine” and you could’ve had her grow.

But I guess that would’ve taken effort.... and screen time away from Kenny, and god forbid we ever do that.

---

Honorable Mentions

-Ava falling to her death in the most comedic way possible, made even more hilarious by David’s two seconds of mourning. -Omid.... because hope is dead. Do you get it? Hope? is dead? Because Omid means hope? Do you get it?? -Honestly you could put most of S2′s deaths on this list because oh my god. -Ben because I’m still a salty bitch. -I also wanna add Louis and Violet’s deaths on the bridge mostly because they die, Clem is sad for two seconds, Tenn says sorry, and then no one cares. Yeah, yeah, they mourned off screen and I call that lazy bullshit. -Hell, throw Tenn’s death on here, too, for similar reasons-- no one but Louis/Violet and AJ seem to care. Even Clementine is like “whatever” after it happens.

---

Y’know, picking this one seemed like a good idea at the time, but by now I’m just annoyed by all these dumb deaths. So, what are your thoughts? Are there any deaths that make you question the writers that didn’t end up on the list? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Lemme know, we can have a friendly discussion about it.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Favorite Louis Moments

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg javier #twdg kate #twdg mariana #twdg gabe #twdg david #twdg luke #twdg jane #twdg kenny #twdg nick #twdg sarah #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg tenn #after this i need to talk about muh boy #louis content coming next friday

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white-collar-lawmen-and-conmen · 4 years ago

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Cross the Ocean

A/N: Requested by @starry--skies. Sidenote: this may be a good story for a sequel sometime.

Summary: Neal once told you he would cross the ocean to be with you, but when you know he’s in danger, you’ll cross the ocean yourself to save him.

Word Count: 2,955

How could an apartment feel so cold and empty when the same number of people dwelled in its walls? You supposed it had been long enough that all the signs of him had faded. Spare clothes, returned to June, because there was no one else to return them to; the extra toothbrush trashed because no one was using it, anyway, and why have it take up more space? The linens could only go unwashed for so long, the last flowers he had offered died months ago, and his necklace was sitting in your jewelry box, unseen, because it hurt too much to wear it.

The same number of people lived in it, true. But Neal hadn’t needed to live there to leave his mark, and now that mark was gone, jumped on a plane without a goodbye, just like him.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

“Don’t go,” you said, unprompted, staring across the room to the dark shadows covering the wall.

You could feel his movement as Neal picked up his head. “Where would I go?” He asked, confused, sleepiness adorably muddling his voice.

You shrugged halfheartedly, already regretting having said it out loud. He felt your shoulders under his arm and tightened his warm hold on you, tugging you closer to the heat of his chest.

“Just don’t go,” you said again, hugging yourself comfortingly.

The idea that the man beside you could leave – had a history of leaving – without a trace left you feeling cold already. You were a cautious person, but loving someone the way you suspected you were growing to love Neal made you want to let down your guard. It was scary, like taking off the Kevlar vest to assuage someone with a gun; you were reasonably certain that you were safe, but you were also making yourself vulnerable to massive injury.

Neal moved his hand slowly, probably just so you would know that he hadn’t fallen asleep. He didn’t answer right away. The silence and the stroking of your arm sent mixed messages and you had just about settled on reading it as pity, and almost curled up tighter and moved away. Did he think you were clingy? Did he think it was pitiful that you expected him to stay with you? Maybe you had misread everything.

His hand stopped moving and he moved again, just enough to press his lips to your forehead. “Y/N,” he said, softly, his voice clearer. Thinking on it had woken him up more. “I don’t plan to go anywhere. Definitely not anywhere you can’t follow.”

Whew. There was a softness and delicateness to the way he talked to you, but it sure didn’t sound like pity or exasperation. More like… empathy, and maybe apology, for your evident insecurity and any role that his past played in it.

“I guess I just – I keep thinking one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be an ocean away.” Without me, you wanted to add, but figured it was implied. And unnecessary, probably, since he had done it to Kate before, or close enough. He had likely learned the kind of damage that did to a relationship.

Neal resumed his gentle stroking of your arm. “Oceans aren’t a big deal. We’ve got cruises and airplanes now,” he reassured with a playful bit of teasing. More seriously, but very simply and matter-of-factly, he continued, “And if someday we wake up an ocean apart, I’d cross the ocean.”

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

It was easy to be bitter and easy to resent. In the beginning, you had been insecure, nervous that he would leave overnight when an opportunity arose. How could you not? Neal tried to leave forever without so much as a goodbye to anyone, only stopped by a bomb and a lost love. It had irked you then, and it scared you when your rapport deepened. He had fake documents ready to go, an agreed-upon rendezvous point with Mozzie planned for any given time. Neal worked hard to assure you he loved you. You weren’t sure he ever managed to convince you there was no chance of his leaving, but you at least had confidence that he would say goodbye, give you a chance to have closure.

No such luck. Part of you knew it wasn’t out of lack of desire, but rather lack of opportunity. The other part wanted it to shut up. Love him as you did, you knew Neal’s situation was a product of his own choices. He made his bed, and he should have lied in it, but for the family he had found in the city who loved him too much to let him rot in the pocket of a man who’d use him as a tool and throw him back in prison the second he stopped being useful – or, worse, leave him to die when it became too much trouble.

Whenever you embraced the anger, because the sorrow was too overwhelming, you resented Neal for all his stupid choices. Keeping the painting, pulling those stunts on the aerial tramway, and baiting Kramer for months with constant near-misses that could’ve been avoided if he had just stopped breaking the law. It was such a simple solution. And you were angry. The last six months of your relationship had been rocky, because the anger wasn’t new, it wasn’t just because he had gone away. It was because he kept compromising himself, and his coworkers and friends by extension, and yourself by association.

Holding onto anger was never your forte when it came to Neal, though. Sooner or later, usually within a couple of days, you would see or hear or do something that would remind you of the man, and you’d be hit with a wall of all the good memories, all the things he did that made you feel pride and adoration and contentment. Then came the longing and loss, and finally, the blame. The blame that you had just failed to pin on Neal himself, so you embraced the bitterness instead.

Peter had one job and instead, he turned Neal loose. Gave him the green light to run. At least if Neal had gone with Kramer, there was the chance of a happy ending. There was a reasonable chance that, with the WCCD at his back, Kramer wouldn’t be able to keep Neal past the two years left on his original sentence, and when it was over he could have come home. Peter had ruined any chance of that, his silent gesture telling Neal that there was no alternative and that he had the approval of his family here. Most importantly, that nod was a goodbye, and acceptance, and an “I love you, so I’m letting you be free”. You’d never begrudged Neal his close relationship with Peter but you felt cheated that, on top of ruining any slight chance of your partner returning to you, he got to say goodbye while you were left blindsided and heartbroken.

The first time you resorted to bitterness to cope, it lasted several weeks. You avoided Peter and dodged his team. They were worried, and El reached out, but you politely assured her you were fine and just didn’t want to see any of them. She respected your wishes and must have told her husband because he, Diana, and Clinton all stopped trying to find you. Neal’s friends were like salt in your wounds, even the ones who hadn’t told him to go. It was too deep and too fresh to handle the reminders. Hell, you could still barely handle your own apartment. You really didn’t know how deeply in love you were until Neal was gone.

It took longer, but the bitterness and betrayal ran its course and became exhausting, as well. Finally, you cycled back into sadness and mourning, which took so much out of you but demanded so little. Roses made you cry because you thought of the roses Neal would give you. So did your favorite dress, which was only your favorite because it was his favorite, too. Tiny things that you could expect to encounter at least once every few days would make you feel hopeless. You were grieving, as if he had died. Knowing he was alive and well didn’t soothe the pain because the permanence of his decision to flee the authorities put him so out of your reach, he might as well have died.

Every run through the stages hurt a little bit less, wound up a little bit shorter. You were healing, you knew, but the ache in your heart persisted. Learning to function again, learning to be prosperous and content without him, was an option, no matter how impossible it seemed on some days. On those days, you weren’t sure you even wanted to. Neal had earned such a place in your life and in your heart, and even when the things he did made you see red, you still knew in both heart and mind that he loved you and was yours. Some little piece of you wanted to still be his, so that you could keep that connection, that last thing you had of him.

That little piece was such an asshole.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

A deep delve into your professional life helped keep you occupied so you didn’t think too hard. It wasn’t the healthiest way of processing a breakup, no matter how messy or devastating said breakup was. Still, it was better to be productive and helpful than to let yourself continue spiraling and cycling through destructive emotions and patterns. The summer passed agonizingly slowly but when you looked back, it was like the blink of an eye. Suddenly it had been a whole season since you had last seen Neal. The romantic side of you wanted to say that it hurt just as much as it had before, but… it didn’t.

You felt awful thinking it, and then awful for feeling awful for having a life after him. Neal was gone. He had no choice about leaving New York, but he did have a choice about how, and he chose the route that left no possibility of a reunion. Why the hell should you wait around for him, wishing you kept hurting for a man who clearly was more interested in his freedom than in recovering what you had together?

Going home the day you had that thought, you looked at the button for the 21st floor and for the first time in a long time, you actually thought about just poking your head in and seeing how Neal’s other friends were doing, and then you realized the anger was running out. You didn’t have the energy or the will to keep deliberately resenting Neal or Peter.

~~~ Cross the Ocean ~~~

By August, you could look back on everything and understand the decisions that were made. You didn’t agree with them, but you understood the desperation fueling them and the fear that Neal must have felt. The moment Neal’s handler, whoever that was, tied his hands and threw him aside, the man was as good as dead, just in a matter of time. Kramer wasn’t above that. If he were free – even just by flight – Neal could protect himself. You could forgive him for leaving, but you weren’t sure he was forgiven for leaving without even a phone call to you as he booked it to the airport.

Later that month, though, your personal grievances didn’t seem to matter all that much. A man approached you while you were at work. You thought he was the man you’d asked to come answer some questions, but no – you were the one being questioned. He was cynical, evasive, and exacting, and clearly after information on Neal.

As soon as he left, you went to the twenty-first floor and beelined for Peter’s office, ignoring the tentative, sympathetic greetings from familiar faces. Peter glanced up when you entered and then did a shocked double-take. It was the first time you had voluntarily approached him in months, after all.

Peter stood up so quickly his chair legs scraped loudly on the floor. “Y/N,” he said right away, but then obviously had no idea where he was trying to go, unable to figure out what to say. You could see the sympathy and sorrow on his face. Not only did you lose your partner, and Peter had lost his friend, but the other agent had encouraged your partner to leave. He knew from your avoidance that you blamed him, at least partially.

With a wave of your hand, you dismissed it. Nothing Peter could say would fix the situation. You knew what he had done was in Neal’s best interests, weighing his wellbeing over your feelings. Where Neal wasn’t forgiven, Peter was, finally, and the avoidance that remained was just about trying to distance yourself from reminders of your blue-eyed artist.

“Someone just came asking questions about Neal,” you said, crossing your arms and peering across the office at Peter. “Agent Collins. He said he’s just tying up loose ends, but he’s not, is he?”

Peter’s openmouthed surprise turned into a grim purse of his lips. He shook his head, looking frustrated, and gestured for you to close the door. You did, and leaned back against it. “He’s the bureau’s version of a bounty hunter,” the agent confided, putting his fists down on his desk and leaning onto it. “Neal was almost commutated, then slipped out under their noses. It makes them look bad. They want to get him back.”

You didn’t miss that Peter was using pronouns that excluded himself, but didn’t comment. It was no surprise – he’d made his stance clear when he encouraged Neal to go. “Why now?” You demanded. “It’s been months, surely the trail’s cold.”

“Best guess?” Peter hazarded, sighing deeply. “They’ve spent this time trying to find him other ways. Now they’re realizing that Neal’s better than they thought and all they want to do is make an example out of him.”

Oh, hell no. “Like they haven’t already?” You asked snidely. Peter tilted his head aside, not explicitly agreeing but getting his point across all the same.

The bureau had your trust – for the most part. When it came to their treatment of Neal, your eyes had been opened to how even organizations seeking justice could be completely unjust in their treatment of people who lacked recourse. Neal was frequently put in life-threatening situations with no training and no choice in the matter except to be put back in prison. Enough people knew Neal was working with the FBI for Sing Sing to be a life-threatening situation, in and of itself. Neal was nothing but a tool to them because he lacked the normal resources of walking away or pursuing litigation.

You looked aside, glowering at the drab office wall. “It gets worse,” Peter wearily told you. “Collins is looking for a win. And at this point, a dead fugitive is just as good of an example as an incarcerated one.”

“Not happening,” you refused furiously. “What the hell happened to proportionality?” Neal may have pissed some people off, Robin Hood-ing from the one percent, but he was never violent. Sending a bounty hunter after him with permission to kill was wildly inappropriate and inhumane.

“I’m afraid proportionality isn’t the first thing on the mind,” Peter warned as you stalked further into his office, toward his desk.

“We have to warn him,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to Peter. Neal was “run at any time” paranoid, not “stay away from windows” paranoid.

“Yes,” Peter nodded, “But we can’t. We don’t know where he is. There is no way of telling him.” The agent wasn’t giving up or resigning himself to being useless. As much as there was disappointment and worry in his face, there was also stubbornness.

“So we find him,” you quietly suggested. “No one knows him better than we do.”

“Y/N.” Peter dropped his voice to match your volume and spoke with a soft, concerned tone. “You have to understand, finding Neal and not turning him in, much less tipping him off about Collins, is outside the law.”

“The law is apparently saying it’s okay to murder a man who has, at worst, taken money that isn’t his.” You fervently stated. That wasn’t your first concern, Neal was, but you needed Peter to know that you weren’t just in this because you were in love with the man in question. There was a principle at stake, and a moral obligation. “The equivalent of chopping off a pickpocket’s hand, coming from the government that supposedly despises cruelty and injustice. I won’t support that, and I sure as hell won’t stand by and let it be done to someone I love.”

While you had been talking, Peter had slowly started to smile. It was the smile he used to always give to Neal when he was proud, when your boyfriend would remind him that Neal was a kind person with a good, loving soul. Having it directed at you reminded you far too much of the smile Neal always gave back and your chest tightened – not just at the memory, but at the decision which meant you were bound to see it again.

“I knew you were going to say that,” Peter admitted with a small, relieved grin, like the shared challenge and conspiracy were washing all the sourness and distance under the bridge. You really thought that maybe it was. His confidence in you and his commitment to your boyfriend reassured you that you weren’t losing your mind and you weren’t alone, no matter how lonely you’d been feeling. “I just need you to understand what you’re putting at stake.”

“Wherever he is, when we find him, I’m coming. No matter what.”

#lawmen and conmen #white collar #white collar x reader #reader insert #neal caffrey #neal caffrey x reader #fanfic #oneshot #cross the ocean #requested #angst #sad #breakup #tw: abandonment #grief

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anxious-ace · 2 years ago

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Ego island shit (this au is probably one of the oldest ones I have, this was before I had any kind of social media or phone for that matter):

Ego island is a nation of different YouTubers' egos and a whole population of non-egos (I'm not talking about non-canon egos, I'm talking about semi-real people)

Semi-real because they're not egos (canon or not), but they're not real people either

This island/nation is like a connective space where all egos live (if you make an ego, they live there)

The main ones are the septics, Ipliers, Sanders sides, and Gierison Guardians (Nate and Ethan's egos are also there)

Rook Island is a separate island that egos can drive to through a tunnel-like system (this is to prevent flooding)

It sucks that they had a war that took 9 years (it ended 3 months ago, they are in the process of cleaning everything)

Angus was gone for the entire time because he was fighting/doing supply runs in the war

(He has flashbacks when fireworks go off because they kinda sound like gunshots but not, poor man's PTSD/anxiety is through the fucking roof right now)

He has been going back to his survival hunter roots and even picked up another job (hitman) since then

(I should make a separate post for Angus things)

They are now an independent nation but the tunnel is still open to ego island residents

There was this force field around Rook Island keeping people in (refugees did get out thanks to Angus destroying the shit after getting his face burned by it)

(It's surprisingly flammable)

The egos can leave the mindscape (or whatever you want to call it) and enter the real world like in Sanders sides or when Schneeplestein walked into Seán's room and started talking to him (I don't remember what video it was but I remember seeing a clip from one of his bloopers videos)

(OOC) I have made my own egos based on the egos, I'll have to show them to you guys at some point but I'll have to dig up old pictures (that I drew by hand), rethink their stories, and explain their relationships with each other and other (let's call them "creators") egos

(Kate created them as well as the Guardians in the au)

"Creator" refers to the YouTubers who have created egos (and Kate I guess)

The word "formed" is used to describe how they came to be in the real world, like fans would say that Anti formed in 2016

The truth would be that he was born in 1985 (or something like that)

(egos are born on ego island and have their own parents/families)

Egos can only "die" if absolutely nobody remembers them

Egos who are canonically dead, like the unus annus bois and Crystal, can still be "alive" if people remember them

(They're alive in the sense that they live in the mindscape with their fellow egos despite being canonically dead)

Soul shards/stones are what house scape dwellers' souls (duh)

Almost every stone is shaped like the thing above sims' heads whereas .01% of them are shaped like 4 spike stars

(There are 200,000 people on Rook Island and 20 of them have star stones, that's how rare it is)

Artificial souls have to be used for transplants because there aren't enough people that can donate

#jacksepticeye egos #markiplier egos #ego islands au

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giffingthingsss · 4 years ago

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J/C, C/7, and Me

Disclaimer: I am not necessarily a J/C shipper. I just have eyeballs and enjoy the show. Long ass post.

In the Beginning

Was a Janeway/Chakotay romantic plot baked in? I tend to think not. At least not at the very start. But this is pure speculation on my part.

If romance is your goal, then it’s much more interesting to have Chakotay not immediately being 100% supportive. (An AU where they never get lost and it’s just Janeway pursuing this Maquis leader and maybe eventually being persuaded and helping him, please.)

I think initially they were flirting with the idea of Janeway/Paris. The character of Tom was described as being a potential love interest for Janeway. That idea doesn’t seem to have made it past the character sketches, but you can see a trace element of it in the very beginning.

The writers played with a number of character combinations. A pretty natural chemistry was cropping up between Captain and First Officer. Little things were dropped into scripts. Performances certainly came across as interested, whether intended or not, who knows.

Ramping Up

Where before there were hints and moments, Resolutions kicks off a series of flashing red sirens.

From this episode on there would be declarations of... ‘you bring me true peace’, and ‘I’m frickin jealous, okay?’ and bawling declarations of ‘you can’t die!’ These developments are not in the shipper’s imagination. They’re building toward something. Clearly. Obviously. Said all the people with eyes.

For the first couple seasons, Janeway being engaged kind of kept this at bay. But now they’re fully playing with it.

Road Block

However, Kate Mulgrew (and maybe others, I dunno) was like, ‘sure. develop the relationship. but no sex. the first female captain isn’t going to be having booty calls in the ready room. not gonna happen. people are going to take this captain seriously.’

So they played with it here and there, but it could only go so far. Kate seemed to want the best of both worlds. A deep, complicated, growing relationship, that never tipped over into the sexual. Her focus was on getting the crew home.

Beltran flat out says (in one of the books I own that I don’t feel like digging out) that Chakotay was in love with her. But Beltran was getting frustrated. When Year of Hell came around, he apparently called up the writers and said, ‘how long is this guy gonna keep throwing himself at a woman who never reciprocates? it’s getting pathetic. either do something with these two or don’t.’

Loner Janeway

Along the way, I think Kate became enamored with the idea of the loneliness of command, the sacrifices it entails. Fell in love with the poignancy of it all.

This is not something that’s out of character for Janeway. Beyond the fact that in the beginning she was engaged, pairing off was a luxury she didn’t think the captain had. So any kind of romantic relationship she might pursue would have to start with her being broken out of that mindset.

That’s basically what Resolutions did. Once they finally pried Voyager out of her fingers, you could see a burgeoning love very clearly. But then Voyager came back. And with it her... resolutions.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

If they had wanted to snip it and move on, they should have had that conflict between Janeway and Chakotay at some point. Perhaps after Beltran called them up and said, ‘hey. Make up your minds.’

Have the characters actually talk about it and reach a conclusion and there ya go. But maybe the writers just didn’t know wtf they wanted to do with it and wanted to leave their options open. And then did nothing at all.

Me, a Non-Shipper

Personally, I tend to agree with the Mulgrew side of things (and can also see why Beltran would be bored with the eternal holding pattern and not mind when they said ‘hey, you can kiss Jeri Ryan.’)

They developed the Tom/B’Elanna romance, which was great. We didn’t need non-stop romantic plots. I think the shippers could understand Kate’s reasoning and were willing to go with the slow burn...if the writers had actually sat down and decided that’s what they were doing. If only they hadn’t dropped the ball at the very end.

Here’s the thing: if you build up a relationship like that, you can’t be upset when people notice. And you can’t give up on it behind the scenes without telling the audience on screen. ‘There are some lines we never cross’ might have been an attempt, but was too late. And was certainly not closure. The audience deserved better.

C/7? WTF!?

Well, if you thought there was no build up for it, it’s because there wasn’t. If you felt like it was whirlwind and came out of nowhere, it’s because it was, and it did. Apparently even in the writer’s room.

Brannon Braga wanted Seven to die in the finale. He was writing her episodes to gear up for that. Human Error, the episode where Seven experiments with romantic ideas with a holographic Chakotay (with a kiss that was apparently the result of a dare Beltran made to Jeri), was written with Seven’s death in mind. It wasn’t supposed to be the opening salvo of an actual relationship.

I think Seven of Nine should have bit the dust. I think there had to be a real sacrifice for this crew getting home, a real blood sacrifice. Seven of Nine was, for me, designed to be a character that was gonna die tragically. I planned that.... There’s an episode called Human Error that I wrote...she's trying to feel emotions. She actually succeeds and then almost dies. She learns there’s a Borg implant, that if she becomes too human, it will kill her. And it was that moment in my mind that would set up the finale, where she realized she can’t live here, she can’t live there. And she dies getting her family home. - Brannon Braga

I’m glad they didn’t go that way for various reasons. I love Endgame as it is. But it’s interesting to know the thought process. They weren’t gearing up for romance, they were aiming for tragedy. At least Braga was.

Human Error was only about six episodes from the end. At the time of that writing, that's what was in at least his head.

Human Error was not written with an eye toward a C/7 future. Without that episode I doubt highly C/7 would have been a thing. And it wasn’t even written to make it a thing.

Endgame obviously didn't go that way. Janeway-palooza instead. So. What do we do now? What to do with Seven? And from here on, all I have is speculation.

Retooling

'Well, we've got this holodeck scenario from the episode we wrote when we were planning to kill her off that hints that she might like Chakotay. So. I guess we'll go with that.'

It appears to me that they retooled recently written story elements to fit their ending, to provide more motivation for that ending.

They picked the three people it would kill Janeway most to lose. Tuvok, obviously. An ongoing torment, visiting him every week. Seven dies (a remnant of plan A) and in a sense takes Chakotay with her.

This is all fuel for Admiral Janeway without making it about saving her lover (unless you’re a J/7 shipper, in which case, hog heaven).

When you think of it only in terms of ‘what can we do to make the finale work’, it’s not terrible. When you think of it in terms of seven preceding years, it doesn’t work at all. They got myopic.

In hindsight I think the writers could probably admit it was a mistake in terms of the show, and they should have resisted the urge to do something that was thrown together and jarring rather than nothing at all with Seven.

Gossip

Apparently neither Mulgrew or Beltran were opposed to C7 in the end. Maybe because they had at points been a bit frustrated with each other behind the scenes. Whether those frustrations were forefront in anyone’s mind at the time, idk.

I tend to think Kate really was over the idea of Janeway’s destiny having much to do with romance at all.

It is interesting that when Seven first arrived on the show, Kate specifically mentioned not wanting the writers to throw her with Chakotay. At that point perhaps feeling a tad possessive. Perhaps didn’t want him ‘sullied’ by the busty blonde.

But this was seasons in the past by the time the finale rolled around, and I doubt highly it had anything to do with anything. Who knows.

Me on Endgame

Personally, I'm glad Endgame was a Janeway palooza. I love 99% of Endgame. I’m glad it was about Janeway vs.Janeway vs. Borg Queen. I wouldn’t have wanted it to be about J/C either.

But if you’re not willing to go there, leave it then to the imagination. It's cruel to basically tell your audience that these two would be together if not for their delta quadrant circumstances, and then rip the rug from under them the second they get to the quadrant where this romance is supposed to be possible. Not cool, man. Not cool.

When I first saw Endgame (as a non-shipper with eyes) C/7 was jarring and weird. But I thought the scene where Seven was distancing herself was well acted and stirred up an emotion or two (even if it was a little histrionic, considering they'd just started dating). So I wasn’t throwing things at my television. Just confused.

I also basically dismissed their future relationship. They got home after like one date, not ten years of marriage. And now their lives will completely change. So I just kind of hand-waved it away. "It did its job for the episode, but the future's changed and they won't last. So whatever."

Headanons on Janeway’s romantic reasoning and original timeline reaction to C/7

Captain Janeway had no idea how long it would take to get back home. Obviously you hope for tomorrow, but it could be twenty years from now. She resigned herself to not pursue romance. Her sole purpose in life was to get the crew safely home.

So I speculate her reaction to C/7 would be quite stoic. She would recognize it’s not fair for him to just pine away, possibly forever. That she has made this choice and he shouldn't have to be alone because of it. Her being alone is just part of the price she must pay, the burden she must bear. Her own wants and needs must take a backseat. She has greater responsibilities.

In fact, I can see her encouraging C/7. She would see it as a form of selfless love. ‘It doesn’t matter that he’s with me; it matters that he’s happy.’ Of course feelings would rear their heads from time to time, but she would quickly corral them into that channel.

Lots of lovely internal martyrdom. She would make it her mission to make sure they were both okay and happy. A bit of a masochistic streak that she buries under a sense of nobility and sacrifice.

This is the kind of angle I think Mulgrew came to prefer. That lovely little tragic pang. She loves drama, if nothing else.

“It’s a lonely thing, but I’m gonna get this crew home.” - Kate Mulgrew

“You always made it hard for yourself. If there was a rocky path and a smooth one, you chose the rocky one every time.” - Coda

This is a woman with a lot of love to give. But finds herself, or perhaps unnecessarily forces herself, depending on your view, in a place where that’s not a possible life choice. So those instincts expand outward, enveloping them all. She finds fulfillment in the well-being of the crew and the ship as a whole.

Post Endgame

Their trip was shortened by a lot because of Endgame. The future is no longer written in stone. So the possibilities are endless, the sky’s the limit. And apparently Seven’s a lesbian (I haven’t seen it, but I hear tell). So. There ya go.

(She is crying here, btw. I never noticed before I did that episode and feel the need to point it out once again. Lest anyone else still not have noticed.)

If you actually read this whole thing, congratulations. Hopefully it made sense. I now continue with my rewatch and probably won’t talk much about this in the future. Unless something new comes up, I’ll just continue to be a non-shipper with eyeballs, enjoying whatever’s around.

#voyager things #long ass post #of fact and probably fiction #my best current take on what went down

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jasperwhitcock · 4 years ago

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Favorite Twilight blogs?

i’m always ready to answer this ask again because i love mentioning everyone i admire hehe. here are my fave blogs, my friends, & why they’re the best. ♡

@bellasredchevy ugh i love kae. do i have the power to appoint a ruler of the renaissance? no. but if i could... it’d be kae bc all her takes are the takes. i think her answers to asks are always either really funny and witty or just really smart. she’s super kind but she’s also a very no bullshit person because she’ll tell it like it is to shitty anons. she also has really cool life experiences that she’ll very casually mention and you’re like i’m sorry what. u worked w... tigers??? why can’t i let that go this is literally not the first time i’ve brought that up lmao. anyways, if kae told me to jump off a cliff (recreationally and recklessly), i’d do it.

@inthemiddleofmymidnight i think kim is the first friend i made on here. she’s wonderful and insanely funny. maybe i’m just easy to make laugh but every story she tells truly makes me laugh out loud... and i’ll laugh again thinking about it later. she is truly a meme queen. her posts... chef’s kiss. also she will put team edward/team jacob shirts in ur animal crossing able’s sisters if u ask. i love u kimmie im ur biggest fan. also like me, kim would be afraid to dive off the cliff if we were cliff diving but then she’d be the one to PUSH me sdhjfhsj i just love her so much. her friendship literally means so much to me!!

@bellaskhakis nayana is the type to go from trashing edward relentlessly to simping for edward in 2 seconds. in real life she’s probably stressing over school but mentally she is in forks, wa in bella & edward’s lil cottage reading fanfiction. if u need recommendations, she’s got u. she’s a great listener & friend & her humor is like wonderfully chaotic. she’ll cry but then she’ll take that energy and drunk liveblog the twilight movies or buy a bunch of plants. if ur friends w her, she will send u all the funny tiktoks & that is LOVE. nay would think she would want to cliff dive but then need to talk herself into it while everyone else goes first and then realize she was the last person up there and freak out but then dive anyways

@cullen-collective omg kaity is such a great person to talk to. she’s like jacob – she’s an easy person to talk to. she listens but also really makes u feel comfortable & like u’ve been friends forever. kaity don’t read the rest of this paragraph i don’t want u to feel self conscious/overly self aware hehe BUT my fave part of kaity’s blogs as i’ve said to her before is like the literal stream of consciousness happening in her tags. why do i feel like kaity would run and JUMP. would she do a cannonball??? i would like to see it

@teamjacobthot my love for dij... unconditional. irrevocable. dee is just like COOL. why did i feel so lame saying that. she just has the best energy and i know i keep calling everyone funny but really dee is FUNNY. like kaity, she’s also the kind of person that i feel like you just automatically get along with & feel comfortable around. obviously we’re all here for fun but i feel like dee’s blog really embodies that fun like no other because either in her posts or notes or answers to asks... it’s the most chaotic unexpected topics that will truly kill u. im thinking of that freaking diarrhea ask she got that she just reblogged again... cursed. but i love her. look i’m not saying she WOULD bc i’m sure it’s probably much scarier once ur actually up there but i feel like dee would also be the instigator with cliff diving and do some kind of trick like a flip idk if she really would but MAYBE

@howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen emma is the ultimate sweetie. always down to talk abt cute dogs or painting or disney channel movies or how jacob is superior to all. she’s just precious and kind but ready to THROW DOWN for u in one second. i literally have been laughing at the same joke for like two weeks but when i said two hurricanes looked like they were coming towards houston she said “good thing i have two fists” shdusdjdkd. emma is the type of friend who would remind u that if u really don't want to jump off the cliff, don’t feel peer pressured bc u don’t have to. but then if u built up the courage, she’d be the one to hold ur hand and jump with u. ok i’m retiring the cliff diving thing i’m sorry i really RAN with that.

@kaquiche man i love taryn. i feel like taryn’s meme usage is always perfect & also she would definitely save ur life. she does ARCHERY ok she would protect us all in the event of a zombie apocalypse. i’m literally fighting the urge to say FUNNY again but it’s not my fault if everyone makes me LAUGH here. taryn’s one of the first people i remember seeing interact w my posts 🥺 she been supporting me since DAY ONE baby. i just love her. she’ll hype u up. she’ll always make u CRY with her twilight video edits. seriously if u want that emo twilight content to make u FEEL SOMETHING... this is who to follow.

@bellas-dumptruck-ass i love elaine and she’s going to laugh at me again but i really think elaine is so smart!!! like a genius... my brain could not process the info that she’s literally studying like it’s no big deal. elaine is so sweet ugh i keep saying that but everyone is just really super kindhearted here ok!! her username KILLS me. like i think this is truly peak comedy. her brand... it’s everything to me. classic memes & great tags.

@phil-dwyer-stan-account addison is SO SO nice and understanding and sensitive. if nayana is in bella & edward’s cottage reading, addison is in there baking bread and cookies and brownies. she’s beautiful and sweet and silly and has the disney channel TEA you didn’t know you needed. she’s another person that will instantly befriend you. she’ll go out of her way to really let you know that she admires you & is excited to be ur friend. the actual definition of a sweetheart. is she the real life esme?? she might be

@volturialice g... i’m lowkey her biggest fan. name a post that didn’t go off...i’ll wait. like literally all of her memes will make u laugh. u know what?? g IS the twilight renaissance. her latest midnight sun posts have especially been making me die and if you’re new here, she’s probably like one of the first blogs u have to follow. every time i see her username in my notifications... my heart is FAT 💗 also she writes fanfics so if ur looking for twilight fanfiction, she has a bunch & also a rec!!

@leahclearwaterdefensesquad kate is so kind & one of my go to people for tag games, but kate is ALWAYS providing the leah content that we NEED. also the lesbian twilight ship moodboards and PLAYLISTS. i also really appreciate how kate & @vampireguarddogs are always some of the first blogs i see that boost a lot of important talking points related to the series on racism. bc if you’re going to be in this fandom, there’s a lot you need to make sure you’re educated on since this series is problematic. like we’re all here to be nostalgic and have fun but we can’t do that whilst ignoring relevant conversations. dee & kae also always have great takes in these discussions too!

@edytheelizabethcullen ok i’m going to try & wrap this up bc i’ve been going on forever and there’s a lot of blogs i really love & admire, but i’ll finish by saying that alex is an actual angel and so intelligent and charming and u will have great conversations about the series with her!!

#sorry for this LONG ASS POST but u asked #ask #anon #faves

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jostenneil · 3 years ago

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Do you have any recommendations for small town romance books? Or found family books? Thank you!

YES. do i ever omg. a good chunk of these will be children's books if that is alright bc that's where my love for this mode of storytelling really birthed itself. well, that and the arthur tv show bc childhood me was positively enthralled by the idea of a group of friends all living within relative walking distance of each other and being able to eat ice cream at the same shop every afternoon. there was an intimacy to it that fascinated me, as silly as it sounds

the penderwicks by jeanne birdsall - this series is a loose, modern retelling of little women that mires itself in the atmosphere of comforting, lively niches and the mountainous landscapes of the american northeast. jeanne birdsall used to do around three to four years of research between writing each book and i think it lent itself so well to what she wrote bc i was pulled effortlessly into the plot each time. the sense of camaraderie between this small collective of people as you follow them across the course of many years is so endearing and it's probably the defining small town book series for me

main street by anne m. martin - most people know anne m. martin bc of the babysitters club. i know her bc of this series! it's about two girls whose parents die in an accident, so they're taken in by their grandmother. she lives in this quiet town where the sense of community is so intimate, esp bc she lives in a row house! there's about eight houses on one street all connected to each other through secret doors in their attics and the neighbors as such are very close. i love the depth of humanity martin develops in the characters, esp bc it really touches upon how each person you know is dealing with their own struggles that you may not be entirely privy to, and then there is a series long plot around the town's history that really helps to illustrate how community prospers and evolves over time

anne of green gables by l. m. montgomery - ok this is a bit of a self evident answer but nonetheless, i feel compelled to include it. this is probably the defining small town story classic, i think? the series builds itself upon anne's imagination and how that not only fleshes out green gables (and her other hometowns) in its simple beauty but also approaches the very real personas of the people she grows up with, as compared to her more romantic and idealized aspirations for herself. it's simultaneously an exploration in romance and realism through the lens of a small but growing community around anne, and montgomery's prose really makes it a magical experience. the romance is also to die for oh my god one of the best slow burns in history, nothing will ever compare to the pure drama that is anne shirley and gilbert blythe's years long love story

beartown by fredrik backman - the tone of this book is pretty drastically different from the other recommendations here but it's nonetheless one i would put forth bc it very closely analyzes the flaws in mindset that can arise from small town living as well. there's a lot of sadness and grief, but it manages to balance this fine line of critiquing narrow mindsets and resistance to change while believing in the ability of a community to come together and mature. it's just. . . very real, and i stayed up listening to it until 4am one night and couldn't stop crying bc the raw emotion of it all really touched me. the random closeness between certain members of the town really got to me, esp in the sequel novel, us against you. just be sure to check out the trigger warnings before reading

aurora county trilogy by deborah wiles - oh my god. ohhhhh my god. you would not believe the memories i have around these books. i remember listening to love, ruby lavender in the car when i was maybe ten or so and positively falling in love with this grieving ten year old girl, and her mom who writes about recipes using zucchini, and her grandmother whom she rescues chickens with. each book in this trilogy centers itself around a child dealing with the death of a loved one, and i think that is a very unique experience to read about, bc children are already dealing with enough at that age. they have to figure out how they're going to fit in, how they're going to navigate the rest of their lives without someone they love so much, and in this small town setting, how to share this grief with a bunch of people they don't want to share that grief with. the books are deeply sad and simply honest, but in a way that's very cathartic to read about at any age

because of winn dixie by kate dicamillo - it's been years and years since i read this book or rewatched the movie but here's another rec that centers itself in a child dealing with grief, albeit not grief over death, but abandonment and isolation. opal's bond with winn-dixie leads her to meet and bond with several people of the new town she moves to with her father, and those building friendships become a way for her to process her grief and move forward from it. i have very vague memories of it now but i remember enjoying how eccentric each of the characters was

beach read by emily henry - this is a much newer rec than everything else on this list but so well deserved! this made me cry my eyes out at 4am it was so crazy. january and gus are two people who knew each other in college and coincidentally meet again as neighbors in a small town, where both have travelled to try to beat their writing slumps and chug out a new book. as a way to challenge themselves, they decide to write a book within the genre that the other person excels at, and doing research along that vein allows them to learn a lot more about each other than they initially thought they did. there's a lot of grief underpinning the story, and the people in the town aren't necessarily a huge focus, but i think the quiet of the setting really allows the emotion to permeate the whole thing and drawn you in, bc sometimes you just have more room to think and dwell and reflect when you're in a quiet corner of the country

i hope these are sufficient for now, but lmk if you'd like recs within other media too! i feel like i have a good chunk of dramas and tv shows that speak to this narrative setting

#asks #mine:recs

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pocketmouse18 · 3 years ago

Text

Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)

(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 2 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,577 if I did my math right!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.

I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.

Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.

Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.

19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?

I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.

I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3

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keep-it-i-resign · 3 years ago

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Fic Writer Asks

tagged by the lovely @vampcoffeegyrl23 I am soooo sorry this has taken over a week! I promise I was just busy away from my computer and using mobile is not the way to go about answering these! 😅

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

6 on AO3 and 6 on ffn.net. I haven't used the ffn.net account in years, i.e 2013 (and therefore my user name isn't even the same) so those 6 stories are different from my AO3 ones. I don't post most of what I write and now that I'm in my mid-20s with a few published papers behind me - I'm much more confident in my ability to write a cohesive and interesting story so expect more posted!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

17,425 words which isn't bad for only 6 fics with two of those stories having additional chapters coming soon.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3? Just 1, which is The Flash and by extension Stargate SG-1 for the crossover I did for Snowells Week this year. Counting ffn.net that's 3 more with Castle, Doctor Who, and Firefly. Over my lifetime of writing fic for myself? I think only 7 more. Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Sanctuary, Harry Potter, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: TNG, and Left 4 Dead. Left 4 Dead isn't much of a fanfic but I did use the zombie types as place holders in an original story until I developed my own.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'll Be Waiting (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

Well... This is Awkward (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry, Frost/Nash, Caitlin/Nash, and Frost/Harry)

Rewind Time (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

Through the Gate (The Flash/Stargate SG-1 - Caitlin/Eowells)

Harvest Season (The Flash - Caitlin/Harry)

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angst much and I haven't posted many stories yet but of the ones posted I guess "I'll Be Waiting" is the angstiest.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

"Well...This is Awkward" has a pretty happy ending with everyone alive and together. Or maybe "Twilight of the Gods" because ReverseSnow/ReverseFrost happens and there is hope of bringing everything lost back and balance the universe again. I guess it depends on your definition of what constitutes as a happy ending. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one - The Flash/Stargate SG-1 crossover. I don't normally think about crossovers just because the shows I watch are so vastly different they can't really work or they are already in the same universe with the canon crossovers. I'm also not always a fan of reading them because they can get chaotic quick and characterization takes a dive in order to fit characters into other universes/situations. I admire anyone who can write it well though!

As a side note: I did have a thought about a Snowells into the Arkham universe fic just because I have been replaying the Batman Arkham video games which I might give a shot at.

8. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

👀I wrote one smutty story years ago and it's terrible because I was young and naïve. I haven't tried recently but I'm not opposed to giving it a shot now. I have a few ideas on a prompt list I have for Snowells already so it's really a matter of when will I get to it!

9. Do you respond to comments. why or why not?

I do when I can! I like to get feedback from my readers and having an open dialogue of what they liked or disliked is important for me! I want to know what my audience enjoyed and what to improve on! Responding to them also shows them I saw that they said and appreciate what they had to say! 🥰

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Surprisingly - no, even on my old and terribly written stuff. I'm perfectly open to criticism but hate? If you don't like it, you don't like it but others might. Why spend the time spreading negativity when the world has enough of it?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

As far as I know - no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but given enough time I could probably translate mine. It would be grammatically atrocious because I rarely translate from English into any of the languages I know. It's normally the other way around! I'd definitely need a Beta who is fluent to correct my mistakes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but it's definitely something I'd try! I co-wrote an original story with a few friends of mine years ago in high school and enjoyed it. I like the idea of getting to talk and bounce ideas off of someone who enjoys the same fandoms and character as me! I haven't really done that since I grew apart from one of my friends from high school who I did that with.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

What kind of question is this? Do people actually have an ultimate ship? Is that even possible? I have ships from several fandoms and sometimes multiple ships within a fandom. Most of the time I have a main ship from a fandom but that doesn't mean I discount any of the other ones that I or others enjoy as well. I'll throw out a few that I still got out and read for in order of what I read most often (either new stuff or re-reads) to what I read occasionally, at least according to my AO3 favorite tags.

Snowells (all variations) - The Flash

Jack O'Neill/Sam Carter - Stargate SG-1

Helen Magnus/Nikola Tesla - Sanctuary

Harry/Hermione - Harry Potter

William Murdoch/Julia Ogden - Murdoch Mysteries

Phil/ Melinda - Agents of SHIELD

Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris - Star Trek: Voyager

Kate Fleming/Steve Arnott - Line of Duty

I will occasionally go check what kind of fics the fandom writes when I start a show just out of curiosity. Sometimes you can tell if there is fandom hate between ships by doing so and I know to steer clear, especially if I ship a lesser ship/non-canon ship. Also - the number of canon-divergence or rewrites will tell you if the shows writers start being ridiculous *cough* The Flash *cough* and whether it's worth getting attached at all.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hoo boy. I have a drive full of them. Most of which aren't even close to being posted. My biggest one right now is a complete re-write of The Flash dealing with a what if scenario of Earth-1 Tess Morgan being pregnant the night that Thawne kills them both and he chooses to birth the kid rather than let it die with her. It's set a few years earlier (so 18/19 years stuck in the past rather than the original 15 that the show has it) so the kid isn't Jesse but it changes how season 1 plays out and definitely how season 2 plays out when Harry finds out about the kid while dealing with the Jesse/Zoom issue. Plus it's Snowells too and I want to deal with Barry's mistakes and the consequences of them better than the show did since the show just kind of brushes them off? For some reason? I wanted things to have a little more consequence because some of the mistakes made are egregious and then they acted like it never happened which bothers me. It's a beast of a project and I'm - unfortunately- a perfectionist and a completionist. I'm thinking an episode per chapter rewrite but right now it's in bits and pieces and a lot of notes on how episodes would play out differently with an added character and dynamic.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and scene positioning. I can write out the dialogue for a story quickly with the bare bones of the scene and movements playing out. After that, it takes me ages to expand the scene and fill in the bits between speaking lines because I can see the piece play out in my head and putting that to paper accurately and engagingly without being overwhelming is a multi-layered process.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Some of this is normal, you know, like grammar and spelling. My brain moves faster than I type so words or bit of phrases end up missing and I later have to fix it. I'm also a Southerner who grew up watching a ton of British shows so a lot of the way I phrase things isn't commonly used anywhere. I have to spend a lot of time double checking things like that. I think my biggest one is not knowing how to end stories satisfactorily. I haven't posted many fics because it's hard to post them when you don't know how to wrap everything up.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It depends on whether it's an established part of a character or story and whether or not I'm comfortable with the language. Like with Sherloque - it's established he'll say something in French and then repeat it in English. I took 3 years of French so I'm comfortable writing it and it fits the character and situation. But take Cisco, we know he speaks Spanish, but it's never really shown in the show. So fics that I've read where he breaks into Spanish can be distracting as we've never seen him do it - even in dire circumstances. I also never took Spanish in school and I only know rudimentary pieces (I took Mandarin and Latin instead), so I'm unlikely to use it in any fic I write unless the circumstances warrant it (say - Cisco is talking to a grandparent or a meta struggling with English).

But again, it depends on the situation, what we know of the character, and how comfortable I am with the language enough to get it correct and in character. Any fic writer who can get the situation and character down while using a secondary language, and not make it distracting deserves applause!

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hit me with a hard one why don't you? 🤣 I think it was Stargate SG-1 or maybe it was Stargate Atlantis. You're asking me to think back over a decade and a half ago to when I started reading and writing fic at the tender age of 7 or 8. I'm fairly certain it was one of those two fandoms and it might've been a crossover. I do remember writing part of it on an old Gateway computer running Windows '98 with a glass monitor that was mine and my sisters. The other half was written on an electric type-writer that I owned because this was before laptops were widely available and affordable.

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

It's a tie between "Twilight of the Gods" and "I'll Be Waiting". "Twilight of the Gods" because I got to show off a few of my degrees (History and Classics, I couldn't shoehorn in my others but they are science related and that doesn't quite fit that story). "I'll Be Waiting" is a favorite because it's a big middle finger to whoever / collective group wrote The Flash season 7. I'm still pissed off at how the Wells plotline was dealt with and let's not get started on the whole Chillblaine/Kramer/Forces as kids of WA plots (ewwwwwww 🤢). I'd need a whole new post to talk about how tired I am of the WA kids showing up (because screw how that'll effect the timeline, right?) and the reliance on the future to drive what decisions are made (because, again, screw how bad that would be for the timeline - it's not like we have seen how much that effects things before right?) 😒

Phew.....That was longer than I expected, honestly, but a lot of fun!

Tagging whoever wants to talk about their works because you are all wonderful people who should get a chance to share!

#20 questions #writer asks #fandom things #fanfic #Snowells

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