#Karl the Krampus
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HEY THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT IS I, SANTA CLARK! Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps this festive slice of cheer from the Clarktoons will!
Let's make like The Ghost of Christmas Past and rewind back to 2014. Folks were suffering from Frozen Fever, both as a result of the movie and the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. That year also saw Jimmy Fallon take over The Tonight Show after Leno stepped away for real this time, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 swung low while the Guardians of the Galaxy aimed high, people still cared about Kanye and Kim's relationship as if either people are worth your attention, Bill Cosby was outed as the horrible monster that he is, and most importantly of all, I initiated the 12 Days of Christmas event. Yes, clearly that's as major a moment as those other things I mentioned. Starting December 14th I would post a new pic or comic everyday leading up 'til Christmas. Our first year saw the Pizza Bites writing their oddball letters to Santa (with help from Mr-Herp-Derp), Crocie visualizing his perfect yuletide, and even a full length action comic starring me as a seasonal superhero. And in case anybody asks: no, the Holiday Knight isn't coming back. Sadly, neither will the 12 Days at this rate. Despite my continued best efforts, this festive event hasn't been able to return ever since 2020. Blame that on the last four months of every year becoming an increasingly busy time for. Should the choice arise, I will always pick spending the season with my family over drawing. Weird to hear, I know. Still, that's not to say I haven't been hard at work. You can tell I have considering this giant page of sketches I found lingering in Clarktoon Christmas limbo. Thus we have Dumpster DUDELZ: Regifted Edition! Let's take a peak to what's waiting under the tree?
[1] KARL THE KRAMPUS People credit that crummy 2015 horror movie for introducing Krampus into the popular culture. To that I say; you're all wrong! Clearly I did that a year earlier with my own character, Karl. Being a Clarktoon take on a German folk monster, naturally he became a big, bumbling goofball envisioned to have the voice of Richard Kind. It also meant he encountered Croc's Swamp Gang the most, Xena and Bumper especially. After years of the two (or at least Xena) tormenting the fluffy demon, it was time for a facelift. Honestly this design is a drastic upgrade over the original, making Karl more monstrous while not losing his approachability. Cuz only in the Clarktooniverse will you meet a cuddly monster who drags naughty children of to hell. XD
[2] NUTCRACKER: REB00TED CAST Nutcracker freak'n sucks! I have made my opinions regarding this boring ballet no secret over the years. For crying out loud, I compared going to see it to the Five Stages of Death. Nothing against anybody who does enjoy it, just don't count me among your masses. Getting me to like adaptations lacking Mickey and Minnie is a challenge. Then again, I enjoy a good challenge. While contemplating what I would do with the story one year, an ad for Matrix: Resurrections dropped onto YouTube. After seeing it I thought: what if the world of Nutcracker was set within the Matrix? Hence we have Nutracker: REB00TED! I plan to diverge more plot details later, but for now you can at least meet our cast. Starting from left to right we have Prince Leon, the Nutcracker Prince who's grasp on reality is slipping. Helping to guide him is the Count Drosselmyer, turned into Love-A-Lot Larry Beary. Don't let his cuddly facade fool you, he will whoop yo' @$$! Alongside his niece Clara, the badass ballerina determined to rescue her beloved and free the kingdom from the evil Rat King! What does the king look like? Good things come to those who wait...
[3] ROSIE MEETS THE HOGFATHER Any excuse to draw Rosie Stardust is an awesome one! Even if the sketch is last minute like this one. During the Holiday season last year this random little idea sprung into mind of Rosie exploring Christmas contemporaries across the multiverse. This would include Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Hearth's Warming Eve, Life Day, and of course Hogswatch. Anyone familiar to the works of Terry Pratchett will recognize the name. Just like those esteemed few will also recognize the mini-Claus counterpart the Cosmic Cutie's encountered. It's not the Hogfather she was expecting, but she will gladly take it!
[4] WILBUR'S PLASTIC TREE You'd think a collection of coupons would be the easiest to complete. Just like you'd think the monkeys would stop flying out of my butt at some point. Nope, that ain't happening. Blame it on my nitpicky attention to details, otherwise Wilbur's White Elephants coupons are already a third of the way done. In fact, the sketch here is already fully colored just waiting to be posted. Being the cheap sonuv'a bush he is, Wilbur naturally won't go for a natural Christmas tree, instead opting for plastic. No, the other kind of plastic. The kind that'll guarantee some poor tree manufacturer in Hoboken will get an angry phone call from an irate store manager. And in case you're wondering what he sounds like, my ideal voice actor is Daran Norris doing his Jameson voice from Spectacular Spider-Man!
[5-7] REDESIGNS FOR RANDOLF, CUPID, AND ZED My, here's a jolly trio that haven't been seen in a good while. Probably because I keep wanting to give them better designs! This is an itch I can't ever seem to scratch! Since I've listed all three of them together, let's go over each character:
RANDOLF: The cocky but caring step-brother of a certain red-nosed reindeer, Randolf hosts the famous North Pole 1 radio show alongside his bear buddy Zed whenever not hosting the even more famous Reindeer Games. Out of all the characters, Randolf is the one who's design if the toughest to crack. I want him to look young, but not super young. Think early to mid 30s if you will. It'd probably help if I could pin down a potential voice for him. Sam Rockwell is the top contender in my mind.
CUPID: Following some messy drama between princessofDisney27 of Disney and I, the original version of Cupid was thrown out and reworked from the top down. With an extreme hairstyle I 'borrowed' from MLP and an athlete's need for speed, Cupid lives up to her namesake who first pulled Santa's sleigh years ago. No idea on who would voice her if I could afford it.
ZED: Raised by gay penguins on a diet of Polar Cola and smooth jazz, Zed is a laid back bear with a beach comber's attitude. So long as wherever he is has a heater and is populated by his buddies, Zed will go with wherever the flow will take him. His design is the easiest, being a polar bear in a Hawaiian shirt. One of these days I wanna draw him with his two penguin papas too, but for now we at least have the bear. Again, not sure who I'd have voice him.
[8] BUMPER'S A STAR! A sad truth about my Christmas tree is that I can never put a star on top of it. Everything we've tried is too top heavy. For the longest time I meant to make one featuring everybody's favorite floating marshmallow, finally following through on this desire this year. I made a shape template in Illustrator, drew the front and back of Bumper around it, colored it all in Illustrator, printed both sides out and glued them together. I would've just printed both sides on one sheet of paper, but printers are evil devices meant to torture mankind as a whole. I hate them! But I love this tree topper! ^^
[9] PANICKED TURKEY It's a shame Panicked Turkey didn't get to come out of hibernation this year. Especially when I had some good ideas for tips involving Canon Events, certain cartoon rodents, time traveling, dragons, and Rosie. Chances are I'll be able to use these ideas again in the future, but for now I just wanted to post something with the cowardly bird. So here's the sketch detailing his redesign from last year. Like Karl, this is another change I really like, PT feeling more expressive than he previously was. Hopefully we'll get to see this design in action again next year!
[10] I'll Have a BOO Christmas Without You ...I'm not even sorry! XD
[11] ALIENS OF THE ROCKAPOCALYPSE! Hey look, more characters you haven't seen in forever! This is Phil, the Clarktooniverse's resident one-eyed rockstar from outer space. Back in the day I used to do mock album covers for Christmas, Phil's girlfriend Yezzi standing in for Mariah Carey on one particularly great one that still holds up. Sadly there's only so many iconic Holiday CD covers you can do that aren't just the same generic 'things coming out of a box' design. Heck, it's why the last one of these I did was based on a Manowar album. That following year would've seen an all-new, totally original creation depicting Phil and Yezzi rocking around a dried out Christmas tree in a Nuclear Winter Wonderland. Sadly the full sketch was never realized, save for Phil's rocker gear here. Worse still, these characters have been retired until I can iron out the finer details of their story. Once I do, expect the ultimate comeback tour from the Aliens of the Rock! Just in time for the yuletide / end of the world!
[12] PANICKED WHO? What turkey? I don't see any turkey. All I see is this friendly induvial with a mustache! One who was just drawn randomly with no other intent behind it. Totally. XD
[13] KREEPY KRAMPUS Once upon a time I was able to complete entire comic storylines before Christmas. That couldn't be said for this one comic where Bumper and Xena both try to buy each other Christmas gifts, each of them going after different notable Christmas creatures to pay for them. Bumper would've gone after the wild Nog while Xena would've picked a more frightful foe: the Krampus! This image of the German monster is what she'd find while searching for information online, my intent to be truer to the original folklore than my usual interpretation. It would've made Karl's inevitable appearance that much funnier. Part of me still wants to see this comic fully realized someday. Until then; let this haunt your nightmares!
[14] ANGELICIA, THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON Remember earlier when I mentioned a comic centered around me as a Holiday hero? The one I will never bring back? Part of that idea involved a literal spirit of the season named Angelicia, an adopted sister of sorts to Finjix's own character Aklamos. Both of us have tweaked and upgraded her overall appearance over the years, this being her last for an intended Sketch BOOM that was scrapped. I really should use this character again, the question is for what?
[15] A TURKEY DINNER TO GO! Like I said, there was once a Holiday Sketch BOOM that was never completed. This Panicked Turkey sketch is one of the few things to survive from it. Ignoring how this design was pre-2022 makeover, I still think this silly little pic is hilarious! Next Thanksgiving I'll make sure to remake this in full color!
[16] THE NOG Along with Karl, the Nog has become a seasonal staple of the Clarktooniverse. For years mankind has wondered where the eggs for Eggnog have come from. Some silly saps think they come out of chickens, but we all know that's a lie! Obviously the eggs come courtesy of the wild, North American Nog! These rambunctious creatures hail in the colder climates, sticking primarily to the North States where they graze on wild berries, tree bark, and rare flowers. Whenever it's not foraging for food it's fending off wild predators, displaying its tusks for potential mates, running for Congress, or raising their young. That is, the young that actually get to hatch. Good luck drinking that next ice-cold cup knowing the Nog is 100% real and you're feasting on what could've been one of its young you sick monster!
[17-18] TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE DOVES Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Doves! Heroes for the Holidays! BIRDY POWER! Back in 2019 I made a silly little parody of the Ninja Turtles based on the beloved Christmas carol "The 12 Days of Christmas". Was it an extremally obvious joke to make? Yes. Does my earlier pun prove I will stoop to such lows? Heck yes! Thus these two goofy characters were born and eventually given the names Currier and Ives by AnimatedTigerGirl. Currier is the one with the bo staff on the left. At home he's a easy-going party animal, but in the field he's a dedicated leader fighting to keep his family safe. Next to him is the nunchuck-wielding Ives, a hot-tempered brainiac with a big heart. Together the two must save their mother, face the 10 Evils of Christmas, and help out their new human friend Ash.
Standing in for their April O'Neal is Ash, one of their few human friends who helps her fine-feathered friends move about New York. Since this story is set during the 90s, she's naturally a skate-boarding tomboy ready to prove to her dad that she's more capable than given credit for. That chance comes suddenly when her father is abducted by the Partridge Crime Family and their ten specifically themed assassins. Now Ash must rescue her dad alongside these two magically enhanced bird-themed ninjas. Y'know, that old chestnut!
[19] SHORT-E AND SHER-I Dang, it's been a while since these two were seen either. I'm sensing a pattern here. At leas these designs have held up the best. Heck, they look especially good in their winter ensemble. SHORT-E wears basic gloves and a jamaica while SHER-I went shopping with EMIL-E to get fancier gloves and a beret! SLAY, QUEEN!
[20] SNOW CONIE MEETS THE NOG Yes, another refuge from the scrapped Sketch BOOM. This one featuring the unofficial mascot of the Sketch BOOMs, the Snow Conies! Or at least one, facing down the angry snout of a mother Nog. I envision these creatures having the temperament of wild hogs, much to the misfortune of this innocent sentient dessert!
[21] SIR PANICKED TURKEY, THE CANADIAN! Along with redesigning this cowardly bird, I also made a special bonus Panicked Turkey tip for Canadian Thanksgiving. It was very last second, going through a few iterations before settling on the final idea. Before then the plan was to either have PT surrounded by angry canucks with guns in a style similar to the John Wick posters or the giant chicken disguising himself as a Mounty, not yet realizing he'll find no peace in the Great White North. Ultimately both were dropped in favor or one menacing Mounty looming over the frightened fowl, which I thought wouldn't work until I saw the final product. Funny how that works, innit? Still, what about the entre in shining armor? That has to do with an idea I mentioned earlier, but I dare not spoil the surprise further than that. Like I mentioned, said idea can be reused for next year. So when Turkey Day rears its ugly head, Sir Turkey turned tail and fled!
[22] UGLY SWEATERS, TROPICAL WEATHER Yet again another idea I hope to bring back, though slightly modified. Originally the plan was to make Ugly Sweater pin-ups for the couples (or friends) of 3K with my friends Finjix and @burningthrucelluloid. This one was the only one sketched before Alec lost his Adobe art programs that would've allowed him to help in this project. Even then, my nitpicky attention to details got the better of me again and too much time was wasted attempting to draw the other pics. All we got out of this failed collaboration were Nerva and her buddy Weed Eater in their Hawaiian-style sweaters, the latter not happy about his situation. He was even depicted eating the sweater and partridge at one point. Who would've guessed the living Christmas tree would be a humbug?
[23-24] CROCZILLA VS TURDUCKEN When I released by Terror of the Turducken posters back in 2020, peeps said they would totally pay to see that movie. Hopefully the same can be said for its sequel, an epic clash between the titular Turducken and the colossal Croczilla! Why are they fighting? Who cares, it's two giant monsters beating the stuffing out'a each other! No doubt the posted to go with this creature feature would've been a legendary one! At least had it not been for my nitpicky attention to details. Plenty of poster designs were drawn up, including this one that was inspired by the then-current Godzillva vs Kong posters. Perhaps I can recycle this idea next year when the sequel comes out and the two fight another giant monkey. Until then, feel free to place your bets on which of these festive Kaijus come out on top!
And if you're rooting for the Turducken, enjoy this redesign of the character where each of its heads feel more distinct. Hey, if nothing else it's cooler to look at than another freak'n ape.
MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!
#ClarktoonCrossing#Clarktoons#original characters#ai art sucks#say no to ai art#Rosie Stardust#Hogfather#Terry Pratchett#Discworld#Krampus#Karl the Krampus#Panicked Turkey#Turducken#Kaiju#Christmas#Christmas 2023#aliens#ghosts#Bumper#Crocs Swamp Gang#Nerva#Weed Eater#3K#robots#future#white elephant#reindeer#polar bear#Nog
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Krampus Heisenberg preview!
Full version is available on my Patreon (must be 18+)! This'll be made into prints down the road!
Reblogs are greatly appreciated! <3 <3
#karl heisenberg fanart#karl heisenberg#resident evil 8#resident evil#heisenberg#lord heisenberg#krampus#christmas#artists on tumblr#artists on patreon
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It’s my own personal belief/theory that the village does not celebrate Christmas or the typical American holidays and instead have their own built around the lords and Mother Miranda so here’s
Reader introducing the Lords to Christmas
* all are treated as romantic
Alcina Dimitrescu
Alcina is the only one of the lords (canonically, as far as we know) that isn’t from the village and is most likely from America or somewhere else in Europe so she certainly knows about Christmas it’s not anything new to her. She’s probably even done a Christmas Jazz album from her singing days. But it’s been years since she celebrated it.
So when you bring up the idea of celebrating Christmas with your love, she is surprisingly into the idea. Granted it will be no different from the typical winter festival in the village and castle but what’s a few decorated firs and extra ribbon gonna hurt.
Alcina is a horrifically wonderful gift giver. She pays close attention to you whether you know it or not and always knows the perfect gift for any occasion. She gives big and sentimentally in ways that you yourself didn’t even know you liked something. Plus it’s expensive.
When you teach her daughters about Christmas they are all into the idea. Krampus and Dirty Santa/White Elephant being their favorite Christmas traditions. Plus hot cocoa. They’d kill for it. Just… don’t get your mug mixed with theirs… they add blood as an extra ingredient.
Alcina’s favorite thing is playing Christmas songs remembers on the piano for you with you humming or singing along. She’s still very much musical and loves sharing her hobby with you. A little holiday twist makes it even more special.
Donna Beneviento
Donna is a little apprehensive when you first mention Christmas to her. She doesn’t understand it entirely but she’s willing to learn. And once she figures it out? She becomes a huge Christmas freak.
She loves to create things and is very crafty besides doll work so Donna has her house decked to the nines in pretty garland, lights, cranberry and popcorn strings, paper chains, her dolls even have festive dresses. Angie is a huge fan of the glitter. She loves whenever she can get her hands on it and will sprinkle it throughout the house.
So I hope you like glitter.
Donna is eager for you to teach her everything about Christmas. She thinks it’s such a beautiful holiday and loves all the decorations. Doing up a tree is her favorite part. Especially to do with you. Handmade and special ornaments with your names on them.
Her second activity is baking different dishes with you. Sweet, savory, her favorite recipes, your favorites- everything! Christmas is her new favorite holiday.
Salvatore Moreau
Once again, Sal is a Christmas newbie. He’s apprehensive similar to Donna but rather because he’s so loyal to the village’s holidays that he was raised on rather than it being so unknown.
But! You’ve celebrated all his favorite things with him in the past so he decides to give this Christmas thing a shot.
He may not be into the decorations or the cooking but he loves all the fun songs that you teach to him. The silly ones about this Santa Claus man and the reindeer, especially the red nosed one.
His ultimate favorite is the porcelain light up Christmas village.
Sal starts to collect (and even try his hand at making his own) porcelain houses and people. He’ll ask for your thoughts on it and different ideas on what to do with it.
Karl Heisenberg
Karl does not give you a chance to tell him about Christmas. He asks you before you can bring it up. He’s so desperate to know about things outside of the village, he’s just barely picked up radio stations, read books, and seen a few movies before mentioning Christmas. Not to mention a few of the other big holidays as well. So Karl asks you about them all.
Christmas rolls around and he’s more or less all in. He’s not as ooohed and awed by the decorations or cooking (but he’s happy to step back and let you so that if you want and he’d certainly participate if you asked him to, he’d do anything for you).
However- he is wildly into light displays.
Especially if he can make them himself.
Yeah he’s big into lights on your home (or the factory), full Christmas Vacation Clark Griswold esc, so many lights your power supply is going to be straining…
But he likes the 2D (sometimes 3D) light displays that he can make himself and attach lights to make cool pictures and animations. With you as his creative muse of course. He doesn’t know as much about Christmas so he’s relying on you and your expertise to direct him. And it’s another way to spend time with you while he works.
Mother Miranda
While Mother Miranda is from the village, she’s existed long before the lords and was part of the time when the village still celebrated national holidays. She’s only somewhat familiar with modern traditions due to seeking out further technology and help in her experiments so she’s spent time outside the village.
She’s not exactly thrilled when you bring it up. She cares for you dearly but Christmas? It’s been so long, she barely partakes in the new celebrations the villagers made up for her and her lords, Christmas was Eva’s favorite….
You have your ways and convince her regardless, just at least to take a small break from working so tirelessly. Compromise is a huge thing in a relationship with Miranda, often meeting in the middle between something and nothing at all.
Miranda no longer cares for holiday specific tradition or decorations or food or games- a silently left (simple yet surprisingly heartfelt) gift being left behind on a table for you one morning is more her speed.
Her secret favorite Christmas activity is sharing stories with you that she grew up on- Christmas folk tales that floated around the village every year over a century ago. A history that she’s likely the last to remember. It’s very special to her to get to share it with you.
#resident evil#re8#x reader#alcina dimitrecu#donna beneviento#karl heisenberg#salvatore moreau#mother Miranda#Alcina dimitrescu x reader#karl Heisenberg x reader#Donna beneviento x reader#Salvatore Moreau x reader#Christmas#re8 imagine#Christmas imagine#headcanon
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Karl, in response to a simple request: "Do I look like fucking Santa Claus to you?"
#staff shoulda never gave me polls#karl heisenberg#heisenberg#heisenberg x reader#heisenberg x you#karl heisenberg x you#karl heisenberg x reader#daddy heisenberg
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Happy Holidays Lovelies!
Heisenberg as Krampus, and Juniper in some traditional German dress
#happy holidays#karl heisenberg#resident evil village#re8 oc#heisenberg x oc#in the steel steeds heart#heisenberg#art#oc art#krampus#background is digital
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Hi, it me!! So, uh, remember what we talked about with Urias? I'd love your take on it, and maybe other people do too? (For people who don't know, Urias is the big floofy Krampus hammer lycan and there was the abandoned concept of him being Karl's dad and maybe he underwent an Ethan-style adventure to save his son but failed and Miranda implanted him with the cadou but due to the Heisenberg gene he just became a super lycan, and Karl doesn't know he's his dad so just assumes Miranda killed him, when in actuality Urias' fate is worse as her puppet)
Something vaguely familiar....
#I DO ADORE THIS IDEA THOUGH#I'VE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT BEFORE BUT GOD....IT HAS SUCH POTENTIAL#THE ANGST POTENTIAL IS IMMENSE#urias#karl heisenberg#resident evil 8#resident evil village#my art#fanart#answered#doodles
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Krampus, height 30 cm, glazed ceramics, 2019, Galerie Karl Pfefferle Munich
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The Creatures of Yuletide: The Companions of Saint Nicholas
Do you know what Santa has in common with Batman? They don’t work alone, but adaptations what you to believe they do
Art by Spearhafoc on Deviantart
A common motif in European Christmas lore is that when old St. Nick goes to deliver gifts to well-behave children he often doesn’t go alone. The Companions are the figures who would assist him in his role as a gift-giver, and they change a lot depending on the time period and local.
In theory, these companions are local variants of the same guy, a somber and darker figure that would punish the bad kids, while Nicholas himself would reward the good ones. Krampus, who I talked about in my last post, is one of these, and his characterization as a half-goat demon comes from the context of the alpine region. The context of the place in question and the way the legends about St. Nicholas are told there shape the form of the sidekick that comes with him. In some places the companion assumed the form of a terrifying old man, in others, he stays in the middle ground with Krampus, as scary man with horns.
Some of them came to a more positive light is recent times and are considered now the Robin to St. Nick’s Batman.
I will talk about three of them today.
Quick note, where’s my Christmas movie where Santa is a (Batman voice) “I work alone” type of hero and then a young wide-eyed sidekick comes in and says, “Teach me in the ways of Christmas, Santa!”. I would watch it
Knecht Ruprecht
“From out the forest I now appear;
To proclaim that Christmastime is here!
now speak, what is there here to be had?
Are there good children, are there bad?”
“Knecht Ruprecht”, Theodor Storm
In my last posts I made a mistake. I associate Krampus with Germany, but now, it seems like he’s more from the Austria and the Alpine region as a whole. Germans have the Knecht Ruprecht, and instead of being a half-goat demon from Hell, he’s a sinister man with a black beard bearing a black furry robe, a chain and bells along with a bundle of birch sticks to punish the naughty children. The word Knecht in German means servant or farmhand, so in English his name would be Servant Ruprecht or Farmhand Ruprecht, and you can even get a Rupert or Robert if you anglicized his name.
It seems that in traditional German Christmas lore, it’s the Christkind, a magical version of baby Jesus, who brings gifts on Christmas Eve. However, Saint Nicholas do appear, but only on December 5th, the eve of his feast, bringing along Ruprecht. St Nicholas would open the big book to see if the devil had written anything bad about the children. Then Knecht Ruprecht would ask them if they knew their prayers. Kids who had been good and could recite the Lord’s prayer would be given apples or nuts by Nicholas as a treat. Bad children would receive sticks, coal, or could even be stuffed in Ruprecht’s sack and be dragged away to never be seen again.
I don’t know if this is true, but during my research I learned that some German parents went to great lengths to teach their misbehaving kids a lesson. They actually had someone to take them away, and some even remember being taken out to the woods. Don’t mess around with Germans!
His backstory is nebulous. Remember what I told, variants of the same guy. In some tellings he is closer to Krampus, with horns in his head as a result. In others he is a wounded foundling that St Nicholas rescued and raised. And in others he is told to be the butcher from St. Nicholas’ lore, that would inspire our next companion.
Père Fouettard
French for, “Father Whipper”. One of the darkest and most vicious companions.
There’s a very dark legend about St. Nicholas. A butcher (in some versions an innkeeper) kills three children that were on their way to enroll in a religious boarding school. In some versions he and his wife drugged the kids, sliced their throats, cut them into pieces and put them in a salting tub. When St. Nicholas turned up at the door the butcher attempted to ingratiate himself to his visitor by offering him his best meat, the children. St Nicholas immediately discovered the horrible crime and brought the boys back to life and punished the butcher by forcing him to work alongside him for all eternity.
In France, it is Père Noël, Father Christmas, who distributes gifts to good children, generally on Christmas Eve, except in eastern France where St. Nicholas Day and the night of December 5th still are observed. He is traditionally accompanied by Père Fouettard.
Pere Fouettard is portrayed as a man with a creepy face, disheveled, messy hair, and a long white beard. He is often described as clothed in murky robes, covered in soot, wearing a scruffy hat and buckled shoes. He follows Père Noël/St. Nicholas from house to house, acting as his punisher, dispensing coal, and beatings to the naughty. In some tellings, he carries a wicker back-pack to carry naughty children away. It is also believed that Pere Fouettard tells St. Nicholas, which children misbehaved during the year, and consequently, they are deprived of the treat. Some even say that, he cuts out tongues of children who are caught lying.
Why in the world St. Nick would trust a cannibal child killer to be near children is beyond me.
Zwarte Piet, “Black Pete”
Oh boy! You know where this is going!
Zwarte Piet is that type of character that the more you research, the worse it gets
Sinterklaas is the form that Saint Nicholas assumes in the Netherlands and Belgium, and he is the main source for the American Santa Claus.
In the first Saturday after 11 November, he arrives by a steamboat at a designated seaside town, coming from Spain. In the Netherlands this takes place in a different port each year, whereas in Belgium it always takes place in the city of Antwerp. The steamboat anchors, then Sinterklaas disembarks and parades through the streets on his white horse, welcomed by children cheering and singing traditional Sinterklaas songs. He then parades through schools, hospitals, and shopping centers until the evening of December 5th, where he would deliver gifts to the children.
I will admit, this sounds so much cooler and more fun than modern day Santa.
Sinterklaas has a sidekick, a moor from Spain, Zwarte Piet, the Black Pete, usually portrayed as a blackface caricature, wearing a colorful Renaissance attire in addition to curly wigs and bright red lipstick. His role is to be Nicholas’ servant, a rascal and a prankster, amusing children and distributing traditional sweets during parades and public events. In older lore he was said to act just like the other companions, punishing bad children with coal in their shoes and threatening to kidnap them.
Some older traditional Sinterklaas songs claim that he and Sinterklaas could even drag the naughty kids to their home in Spain, were they would force them to work in their workshop for an entire season or longer. They essentially used slave labor! 😬
Some link him and Sinterklaas to Odin, and Huggin and Munnin. Huginn and Muninn would often fly through the Nine Realms, bringing a report of who was good and who was bad back to Odin. So, the black guy's role may have come from Odin’s crows 😬
Others link him to Krampus and Krampus-like figures, evil demons who were show to be under the control of Saint Nicholas and the power of God. According to a theory firstly proposed by Karl Meisen, Zwarte Piet and many other companions, like Krampus, were inspired by these enslaved demons.
Zwarte Piet and many modern traditions about him and Sinterklaas came from a children's book written school teacher Jan Schenkman, in 1850. The book was titled Sint Nikolaas en zijn Knecht, "Saint Nicholas and his Servant". In Schenkman's version, the devil figure that followed St. Nicholas was changed to a Moorish helper.
More modern lore presents him as a more of a Robin-like figure, a more heroic and charismatic sidekick. He is said to be a Turkish orphan rescued by St Nick, or an Ethiopian slave freed by him. Or he is just completely whitewashed, and the dark skin is explained as the ashes and ambers from the chimneys.
He is very controversial, and said to be a remnant of colonialism, slavery and racism. Some say he may be even inspired by a slave brought by one member of Dutch Royal family in market in Cairo in the mid-19th century.
As far as I know, Netherlands is very divided into those who want to keep the tradition, and others who see him as racist stereotype. A lot of protests and acts of violence had come from this simple problematic character. It’s very common for neo-nazi groups who want to keep him as he is to brutally attack and threw racial slurs on those who want a revised version of the character or his removal from the holiday tradition altogether.
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#5yrsago David Nickle and Karl Schroeder's "The Toy Mill"
"His hair was whiter than his flesh. Thick whorls of ice embedded his beard in icicles like a January cataract; more separated the thick hairs of his eyebrows into individual daggers, pushed back by the yuletide winds of the stratosphere so that they swept down to meet at the bridge of his narrow, blue-tinged nose."
"Wisps of pale hair scattered from beneath his red cap, over his small pink ears. His eyesbwere tiny too, pink-rimmed and black at their iris; and looking, searching the eaves troughs, the darkened windows, the empty playground three streets down, questing hungrily and never blinking once in an endless quest for girls and boys."
-The first sighting ot Santa Claus, from “The Toy Mill” by David Nickle and Karl Schroeder
David Nickle writes,
It was 20 years ago (or so) today that we first sat down to write a story about Santa Claus and the freezing-cold arctic Toy Mill, where he employed non-union elves to make awful toys for undeserving brats... erm, girls and boys everywhere. The result was “The Toy Mill,” a blackly comic, holiday-themed novelette about Emily, an ambitious little girl whose wish to be one of Santa's elves comes unfortunately true.
As often happens, the story became a novel, The Claus Effect. Along with the still-deranged Claus, it incorporated some additional trappings—the Cold War, Big Box retail, Ontario cottage country, and Krampus—and appeared in limited release from Tesseract Books, in 1997.
There never was an e-book. Not until now. We are delighted to pull on your coat about an all-new, expanded edition of the 1997 novel (which includes “The Toy Mill”) with a brand-new cover from ChiZine Publications, in electronic versions to suit every conceivable e-reader. Just in time for the holidays.
The Claus Effect
https://boingboing.net/2014/12/15/david-nickle-and-karl-schroede.html
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Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184: Mecha Combat #1157 -August 3354 Point Mech Panic
(By Sten Hugo Hiller - 627184)
Mountain Climbing Mecha Combat #1157
Brought to you by ANN
Highlighting the August 3354 Point Mech Panic
The Gaming authorities gave us what we expected at the end of the war, -a Point Mech event.
As always, determining what Mech to use and how to equip/arm it was a hard decision. leaning on Bruno, my chief Tech, we finally decided to use a Humbaba.
We went for the Freeze/Slow/Crit combo, having 100% Freeze, some slow and about 25% inbuilt crit.
Armament consisted mainly of top crit weapons, so any blow landed would have nearly 50% odds of ending the fight right there. Top Dodge and Precision were also present, but as a result the speed was no higher than 120.
Once on the Mountains, on K4 this time, we headed for the top. As it happens, as the scramble became more heated the top contenders all came from my current clan; The Bouncing Blue Berserkers.
This posed a problem for me as the blue on blue inhibitors had to be manually unlocked for each attack, and in the fast-paced environment who you had planned to attack a few moments ago might now be a nonvalid target.
My hatorades disappeared fast, and I decided to pace myself for a while, say only attack if I were thrown to the foothiils or there were less than five minutes left.
Admiring myself for this restraint I sat back and got some footage, then less than 90 seconds later the light flashed and it was over.
At least I knew the winners this time had been:
Div 1 426+ (14 Commanders): Terry Cole, Winter`s Coing...FW (Pike)(5s)
2: Claude Poirier
3: Dexter Berry
4: Ben Rail
5: Jeff Haas
6: Sal Vezzosi Jr
7: Daniel Scott
8: Chad Leon Baker
9: Bernard Johnson
10: Gary Muenzel
Div 2 -425 (23 Commanders): Jaime Beltran, Winter`s Coming… FW (Revenant)(13s)
Div 3 -318 (13 Commanders): George Warren, Abominable (Fext)(19s)
Div 4 -237 (25 Commanders): Darren Jackson, B.B.B. (Guardian)(<1s)
Div 5 -178 (37 Commanders): Karl Kash, Pandemic Legion FW (Boreas)(14s)
Div 6 -124 (31 Commanders): Mike Slowenski, Emerald Dragons (Fext)(8s)
Div 7 -94 (45 Commanders): Naehan Montales, M&L A.R.S.E. (Antithesis)(1m,3s)
Div 8 -59 (15 Commanders): Nick Walter, The Grinch Grenadiers (Dilophos)(1h,6m)
Div 9 -40 (22 Commanders): colehatesme, I.N.A. (Krampus)(1d,17h)
Div 10 -24 (23 Commanders): Sensori Lykos (Commissar)(45m,19s)
Div 11 -11 (14 Commanders): Gayuti Moonreal (Axe Bot)(13m,54s)
Total Contestants: 262
Total medals claimed: 161 (of 165 possible)
The Commanders just kept piling on. Even compared to the recent Xmas event, thirty-three more managed to squeeze in for this fastpaced event.
But again, there were imbalances, and pretty big ones at that. The trio of least popular events had a total of 41 Commanders on them, four less than fought on K7 alone.
This resulted in a Quartet of Bronzes ending unclaimed, and after the award ceremony they were returned for resmelting.
Only one Mech managed to win more than one Gold in this event, and to manys shock it was not the Boreas. It was the Fext who rose above the others by winning on K3 and K5.
The sole Crystal Mech to claim a Gold was the 70 ton Krampus.
The last half-hour saw eight Golds in play, six of them not decided until less than a half-minute remained. Of the three others, only one were held for more than two hours, but it was held for more than a day.
Quite furious action on the tops, but was the struggle equally hard for the lesser prizes? To find out, we take a look at the number of medals held for more than 30 minutes in this event:
.............Silvers......Bronzes
Div 1 ....0 of 4.........5 of 9
Div 2 ....0 of 4.........4 of 10
Div 3 ....1 of 4.........5 of 8
Div 4 ....0 of 4.........2 of 10
Div 5 ....0 of 4.........4 of 10
Div 6 ....1 of 4.........6 of 10
Div 7 ....1 of 4.........8 of 10
Div 8 ....4 of 4.......10 of 10
Div 9 ....4 of 4.........8 of 10
Div 10 ..4 of 4.......10 of 10
Div 11 ..3 of 4.........9 of 9
Surprisingly enough, we had two tops (K8 and K10) without any medal attacks, while K11 had a Gold strike and K9 a scuffle among the Bronze holders. K7 saw hard action, and on all the six highest tops most of the medals were redistributed.
Only Winter`s Coming… FW Managed to get more than one Gold this time. They won on Mount Olymus and K2. There were two unaligned winners this time; Sensori Lykos on K10 and Gayuti Moonreal on K11.
This event also saw a trio of repeat winners. Terry Cole from Winter`s Coming… FW on Mount Olympus, Emerald Dragons Mike Slowinski on K6, and the aforementioned Sensori Lykos on K10.
Upcoming event: Triple Rainbow Chrono
We have a rainbow coming up.
That means we are allowed only a set number of mechs from each model in the fornations, here that number is three.
It is also a Chrono, so those who want (good) prizes should start by signing up ASAP.
Event ends December 26 between 2200 and 2230 New York Time
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Nicholas Ofczarek (* 30. Mai 1971 in Wien) ist ein österreichischer Schauspieler und Ensemblemitglied des Wiener Burgtheaters. Er war von 2010 bis 2012 der Jedermann der Salzburger Festspiele.
Seine Eltern Roberta und Klaus Ofczarek waren Opernsänger und er lebte mit ihnen mehrere Jahre in Graz und in der Schweiz. Auf den Hinweis der Eltern, er zeige für das Schauspiel mehr Talent als fürs Singen, entschied er sich für eine Schauspielkarriere.
Nach der Matura und der schauspielerischen Ausbildung an der Konservatorium Wien Privatuniversität spielte er von 1991 bis 1994 in der freien Wiener Theaterszene (Theater Drachengasse, Theater der Jugend), bis ihn Claus Peymann 1994 für eine Rolle an das Burgtheater holte, die er jedoch nie spielte. Erst eineinhalb Jahre und einige kleinere Rollen später wurde Peymann wirklich auf ihn aufmerksam und begann ihn zu fördern.
Neben seinen zahlreichen Bühnen- und Filmengagements unterrichtet er am Max Reinhardt Seminar Sprecherziehung und ist darüber hinaus auch karitativ tätig. So moderierte er zusammen mit Ben Becker den Life Ball 2012, kocht für den Wohltätigkeitsverein Wiener Tafel und ließ sich 2012 bei einem Charity-Abend für die Wiener Sozialmärkte für ein Abendessen ersteigern.
2013 trat er beim jährlich stattfindenden Konzert zum Nationalfeiertag in Wien auf.
Ofczarek ist mit der österreichischen Schauspielerin Tamara Metelka verheiratet und hat eine Tochter.
Seine erste Hauptrolle am Burgtheater spielte er 1995/96 an der Seite von Martin Schwab in Der Messias von Patrick Barlow (R: Felix Benesch). 1999 spielte er die Rolle des Pentheus in Die Bakchen von Euripides, im selben Jahr einen Fremden in Franz Wittenbrinks Pompes Funèbres (1999), 2000 Kilian Blau in Nestroys Der Färber und sein Zwillingsbruder(R: Karlheinz Hackl), Leonce in Georg Büchners Leonce und Lena (R: Sven-Eric Bechtolf, 2001), Mortimer in SchillersMaria Stuart (R: Andrea Breth), Junger Grenzjäger in Karl Schönherrs Der Weibsteufel (Regie: Martin Kušej).
Eine seiner Paraderollen ist die Rolle von Zawisch in der Martin Kušej-Inszenierung König Ottokars Glück und Ende, die 2005 bei den Salzburger Festspielen aufgeführt wurde und im Burgtheater auf dem Programm gestanden ist. Für die Rolle Johanns in Zu ebener Erde und erster Stock oder Die Launen des Glücks von Nestroy wurde Ofczarek für den Nestroy-Theaterpreis 2005 in der Kategorie „Bester Schauspieler“ neben Tobias Moretti und Michael Maertens nominiert und erhielt diesen Preis geteilt mit Michael Maertens.
2006 betätigte er sich auch im Operngenre und stand in der Regie von Karin Beier als Bassa Selim (Sprechrolle) in Die Entführung aus dem Serail auf der Bühne des Burgtheaters. Im Sommer 2009 übernahm er bei den Festspielen Reichenauin Schnitzlers Spiel im Morgengrauen nicht nur die Rolle des Leutnant Greising, sondern gab auch sein Regiedebüt.
Von 2010 bis 2012 spielte er bei den Salzburger Festspielen die Titelrolle im Jedermann von Hugo von Hofmannsthal und hatte auch Gastauftritte im Residenztheater München als Kasimir in Kasimir und Karoline unter der Regie von Frank Castorf und Der Weibsteufel. 2013 feierte er einen großen persönlichen Erfolg als Knieriem in der Salzburger Festspielproduktion des Lumpazivagabundus, einer Koproduktion mit dem Wiener Burgtheater.
Ofczarek spielt auch in zahlreichen Kino- und Fernsehfilmen sowie Fernsehserien. In dem im Juli 2008 erschienenen Film Falco – Verdammt, wir leben noch!spielte er die Rolle des Falco-Entdeckers Markus Spiegel. Im Schweizer Film Sennentuntschi (2010) spielte Ofczarek eine Hauptrolle. 2011 war er in Peter PayersFilm Am Ende des Tages zu sehen und, zusammen mit den Filmkollegen Anna Unterberger und Simon Schwarz, singend mit einer Neuinterpretation von Klaus Pruensters Wunderwelt zu hören.
Im Jahr 2012 war Ofczarek im ORF in der Serie Braunschlag als Discobesitzer Richard Pfeisinger und in der Satiresendung Wir Staatskünstler von und mit Florian Scheuba, Robert Palfrader und Thomas Maurer zu sehen. Bei letzterer wurde in der ersten Staffel Niko Pelinkas angeblich großer Einfluss auf die Inhalte des öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunks parodiert. Pelinka (gespielt von Nicholas Ofczarek) teilte wöchentlich per Videokonferenz seine Verbesserungsvorschläge für die Sendung mit (instruiert von der stets neben ihm sitzenden SPÖ-Bundesgeschäftsführerin Laura Rudas, die von Claudia Kottal dargestellt wurde). In der zweiten Staffel parodierten sie in der von Elizabeth T. Spiras Liebesg’schichten und Heiratssachen inspirierten Reihe Liebesg’schichten und Alltagssachen verschiedene Persönlichkeiten, die von ihnen als Pärchen dargestellt wurden (Michael Häupl und Maria Vassilakou, Alfons Mensdorff-Pouilly und Maria Rauch-Kallat, François Hollande und Angela Merkel, Krampus und Nikolo, Jedermann und Jedermann, sowie Alexander Wrabetz und Richard Grasl). In der komödiantisch-satirischen Sendereihe Bösterreich spielte Ofczarek mit Robert Palfrader in wechselnden Verkleidungen zahlreiche verschiedene Rollen.
"Der Pass" zur GOLDENEN KAMERA als "Beste Serie"! Der Pass ist eine deutsch-österreichische Fernsehserie von Cyrill Boss und Philipp Stennert mit Julia Jentsch und Nicholas Ofczarek in den Hauptrollen. Der Theaterschauspieler Franz Hartwig spielt den Serienmörder Gregor Ansbach. Nach Babylon Berlin und Das Boot ist dies die dritte Eigenproduktion von Sky Deutschland. Die Premiere erfolgte am 21. September 2018 auf dem Tribeca-TV-Festival, die Österreich-Premiere am 15. Jänner 2019 im Urania-Kino in Wien und die Deutschland-Premiere am 16. Januar 2019 im Gloria-Palast in München. Inspiriert wurden die Drehbuchautoren von der dänisch-schwedischen Serie Die Brücke – Transit in den Tod, die Handlung wurde ins deutsch-österreichische Grenzgebiet verlegt. Der Pass zeigt jedoch, neben der Polizeiarbeit, auch die Täterperspektive. Beraten wurden die Autoren dabei vom Fallanalytiker Alexander Horn. Die Erstausstrahlung erfolgte ab dem 25. Januar 2019 auf Sky 1. Am 20. Februar 2019 wurde bekannt, das der Sender neue Folgen für eine zweite Staffel in Auftrag gegeben hat, die im Winter 2019/20 gedreht werden sollen.
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A Blood Red Reindeer Knows -- Part 6: Escape to the Worst
Kung Fu Karl doesn't waste a lot of time with fists. He's got other things in mind, delights to satisfy anger ten years brewing. As such, it isn't long before he sends the other Action Figures to get his "kit."
He tells me, "I've had time to practice. Cheaters, thieves, and the general gutter trash we can't avoid here. But I was always thinking of you."
"I'm flattered."
Karl chuckles, "What'd you think was gonna happen when you got here?"
Drooling blood, I shrug. Black Jack's Cooler is the one spot in the whole North Pole, probably the world, where any person can hide from Big Red. He sees anyone anywhere any time he wants. This place, though, for reasons no one knows, is off the grid. The cops also tend to make this the last place they check. Black Jack pays them to, though whatever crooked deal he's got with Big Red is beyond me.
Kung Fu Karl glances at his watch. Somehow he looks more sour than usual.
He says, "Where are those idiots with my gear?"
I say, "They can take their time."
A sound rumbles down the hall. It sounds familiar, but my brain is too scrambled to make sense of it. Kung Fu Karl recognizes it straight away. He pulls out a gun. The sound comes again. This time I realize it's a shotgun blast.
The door bursts open. An Action Figure staggers inside covered in blood. His eyes roll up into his head. He collapses, but he's dead before he hits the floor, a gaping wound in his back pouring red.
Karl hurries out. The door swings out before him. The moment it does I hear that shotgun blast. When the door swings back there's blood all over it.
I can hear footsteps. The door opens slowly. Roy Glitterspark marches in carrying a pump action shotgun, and wearing a long trench coat.
I don't know if I've lucked out, or am still in serious trouble. Using a key Glitterspark unfastens one of my cuffs.
He snorts, "I don't see why we need you."
"Me neither."
He throws the key at my chest. It lands in my lap. Then, without another word, Glitterspark vanishes out the door.
Unlocking the other cuff takes longer than I care to admit. One eye swollen shut, and my brain not exactly firing on all cylinders -- I've rarely felt more successful than grabbing hold of that tiny key. After popping free I stand, a little too quick.
My body feels like a stick of butter in an oven, slowly softening into a puddle. It's very tempting to go with that feeling. Following it leads to a black pool, a place I can float without pain, or worries. But there's too much to do.
So I push on.
Stumbling into the hall I find Kung Fu Karl. His head is gone. Not far off is an Action Figure. Not far from him is another body. Following them like macabre breadcrumbs I start wondering if the whole damn casino got massacred.
The trail leads to a basement office. The fanciness of the room suggests the rumors are true. Black Jack liked to have two offices in the casino. The one upstairs allowed him to be seen with those who -- let's say -- elevated his status. Politicians, celebrities, rich folks, anyone whom it'd be good to be seen with in public. However, in the casino basement, a second office went into play whenever Black Jack needed to do business with the North Pole's underbelly.
Still, the room is a magnificent setup. Big Red's got to be the only person with a fancier office. The only thing marring the scene is Black Jack in his desk chair.
Just like with Collodi, Glitterspark didn't fool around. There are four holes each about the size of a fist in Black Jack's body. Coming around the desk I find a gun still in his hand. I can't help admiring that.
But now's not the time.
Quick as I can, which isn't quick enough, I go through Black Jack's desk. I take everything that seems even vaguely helpful. That said, might as well be a vacuum sucking up the desk's contents.
Pockets full I make my way out. Unfortunately, I don't know the underground well enough to risk wandering around. So against my better judgment I take an elevator to the casino floor.
I'm expecting the door to open, and cops, or Action Figures to be there. Guns drawn they unload into me, and I don't have to worry about any of this shit anymore. Too bad my luck holds out. When the doors open, the casino is carrying on blissfully unaware of the bloodbath below.
Outside someone comes running at me. My vision is still blurry.
I say, "Sorry, Cari, guess I ain't coming home."
The person coming at me says, "S'cuse me, sir?"
I blink. What looked like a hitman in a blue coat turns out to be the parking valet.
"Never mind," I say. Fishing in my pocket, I can't find the ticket to save my life.
"Rough night?" he asks.
"What gave it away?"
"Maybe just tell me what your car looks like?"
"Thanks," I sigh, "It's a motorcycle."
"We only got one of those tonight." Like lightning he's gone. In a minute my beautiful ride is rumbling in front of me. Getting on slowly, I wonder how many times the valet's seen this kind of exit. Probably a lot.
The valet says, "Hope things are better tomorrow."
"That's always the way ain't it?"
#
A short while later I'm going into Kaye's diner on Rosemary Boulevard. A waitress named Vera almost faints when she sees me.
Jutting a thumb at my bike I say, "Don't ever ride one of those."
She asks, "Sugar, do you need a doctor?"
"Only to get my head examined." Pointing to the back I ask, "Mind if I sit there?"
"Sit anywhere you like."
Shuffling my way I'm glad the place is mostly empty. Still, I worry about whatever glances come my way. In a weird way Karl and Jack did me a favor. My face is too messed up for anyone to recognize from the mug shot popping up on TV screens, and newspapers. Even the trademark red nose is probably getting mistaken for a bloody mess.
By the time I sit Vera is already hovering with a cup of hot chocolate.
Setting it down she gently pats me on the shoulder, "Hope you like cocoa."
I tell her, "You read my mind."
She smiles, "I put in something with a little extra kick."
"I'd wink, but I can't." The joke makes her look sadder, so quickly I add, "Thanks. There aren't enough like you in the world."
Placing a menu on the table she tells me to take my time. So I take a few sips. Whatever she put in the mug definitely kicks. When the cup's half empty I start feeling pretty good. Well enough to get down to business.
Dumping the contents of my pockets on the table I frown. A lot of it appears to be nothing more than business papers. Even the illegal stuff doesn't offer any leads.
In an envelope I find several photos. Most of them are faces I don't recognize. However, the few I do tell me this is what I've been looking for. Vixen is in one of them. Some show people gathering in out of the way places: guys in three piece suits meeting with gutter punks; ladies in fancy cars getting dropped off at shady tenements; anxious clusters of folks huddled under a bridge. The last picture is of some kind of face. Not an elf, or a toy, it looks like a horned goat with a long tongue.
On the back of the photo someone's written, "If we figure this out first that fat bastard will owe us big."
My stomach growls. I can't remember the last time I ate. So I wave Vera over.
"What's good?" I ask.
"Not much, but what is is the best."
"Then bring me the best you got."
"Sure thing."
While I wait I spread out the photos. I let my good eye drift. I keep thinking when I'm not looking that's when I'll see what I need to. Lost in the search I jump when Vera returns, plates clattering onto the table.
She's quick to say, "Sorry, honey, didn't mean to scare ya."
"No worries," I say.
She's brought pancakes, hash browns, and a steaming cup of apple-spice breakfast soup. There isn't much room with the photos all over, so I sweep them to one side. However, one catches her eye.
Pointing at it she says, "You looking for that building?"
It's the photo of the goat face. Near as I can tell this picture was taken under a bridge.
So I ask, "What building?"
Vera replies, "There's a building, not far from here. I pass it on my way to the bus. It's got that on the side."
"What is this?"
She shrugs, "Don't know. Kids call it the Krampus mark."
I ask where the building is. She gives me the address. Then I dig into the meal. It's as delicious as she promised, but over too soon. Afterwards I get the check. Fortunately, I snagged a fat wad of cash from Black Jack's desk, so I leave Vera a rather generous tip. It's the least I can do. Then I head to the building with the Krampus mark.
#wrting#writer#fiction#shortstory#neo-noir#Neopulp#pulpfiction#reindeer#honestyisnotcnotagious#weird#mystery#rudolph the reindeer#krampus#writing
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Fandom List And Ships
Updated: 12/9/18
This is the current list of fandoms and pairings that are requestable. It’s a long list (12+ pages), and I can always add more if the need arises. Bolded fandoms are the ones I am currently in the mood to write for, and I will try to update that as much as I can. Italicized fandoms are something I might consider working on soon and can easily be pushed back into.
Please look at this list before requesting something, it’s in the rules.
Fandoms under the cut!
Adventure Time
Flame Prince/Fionna
Flame Prince/Prince Gumball
Hot Dog Prince/Lumpy Space Prince
Lord Monochromicorn/Cake
Marshall Lee/Flame Prince/Prince Gumball
Marshall Lee/Prince Gumball
As Told By Ginger
Carl Foutley/Blake Gripling
Carl Foutley/Hoodsey Bishop
Assassin’s Creed
Altair Ibn La-Ahad/Malik Al-Sayf
Desmond Miles/Shaun Hastings
Ezio Auditore/Leonardo Da Vinci
Federico Auditore/Vieri De Pazzi
Haytham Kenway/Charles Lee
Kanen'tó:kon/William Johnson
Kadar Al-Sayf/Gian ‘Salai’ Giacomo
Petruccio Auditore/Gian ‘Salai’ Giacomo
Ratonhnhaké ton (Connor Kenway)/Thomas Hickey
Rauf/Kadar Al-Sayf
Talal/Malik Al-Sayf
William Johnson/Thomas Hickey
The Babysitter
Bee/Allison
Bee/Sonya
Cole/Melanie
John/Allison
John/Bee
Max/Allison
Max/Bee
Max/Cole
Max/John
Sonya/Allison
Beetlejuice (Both Movie/Cartoon Verses)
Beatleguise/Lydia Deetz
Camp Camp
Max/Daniel
David/Daniel
Max/David
Max/David/Daniel
Nerf/Preston Goodplay
Neil/Harrison
Neil/Nikki
Quartermaster/Daniel
Catherine
Johnathan ‘Johnny’ Ariga/Tobias ‘Toby’ Nebbins
Orlando Haddick/Tobias ‘Toby’ Nebbins
Orlando Haddick/Johnathan ‘Johnny’ Ariga/Tobias ‘Toby’ Nebbins
Thomas Mutton/Astaroth
Vincent Brooks/Catherine
Vincent Brooks/Astaroth
Crossovers
The Bye Bye Man/The Crooked Man (The Bye Bye Man/The Crooked Man Crossover)
Jack/Max (The House That Jack Built/The Babysitter Crossover)
Jason Dean/Firkle Smith (Heathers/South Park Crossover)
Jason Dean/Lucas Ward (Heathers/Dismissed Crossover)
Jason Dean/Victor Criss (Heathers/IT Crossover)
DC
Bane/John Blake
Blackfire/Starfire
Cyborg/Beast Boy
Deadshot/Diablo/Harley Quinn
Francis “Hotstreak” Stone/Richie “Gear” Foley
Joker/Harley Quinn
Killer Croc/Babydoll
Killer Croc/Diablo
Killer Croc/Harley Quinn
Killer Croc/Scarecrow
Poison Ivy/Harley Quinn
Raven/Terra
Red X/Speedy
Robin/Beast Boy
Robin/Red X
Robin/Red X/Speedy
Robin/Speedy
Deadman Wonderland
Ganta Igarashi (Woodpecker)/Shiro
Nagi Kengamine (Owl)/Azuma Genkaku
Senji Kiyomasa (Crow)/Toto Sakigami (Mockingbird)
Tamaki Tsunenaga/Rokuro Bundo
Tamaki Tsunenaga/Yo Takami
Wretched Egg (I refer to her as Sorae after Ganta’s mother)/Minatsuki Takami (Hummingbird)
Yo Takami/Ganta Igarashi (Woodpecker)
Death And Cremation
Stanley/Jarod Leary
Devil’s Carnival
The Devil/Tamara
Scorpion/Tamara
The Twin/Hobo Clown
Digimon
Matt/Tai
Willis/Davis
Dragon Age
Alistair Theirin/Cullen Rutherford
Alistair Theirin/Kallianne Cousland
Anders/Ethan Hawke
Anders/Fenris/Ethan Hawke
Anders/Jowan
Anders/Jowan/Ethan Hawke
Anders/Karl Thekla
Anders/Karl Thekla/Ethan Hawke
Anders/Sebastian Vael
Anders/Sebastian Vael/Ethan Hawke
Arishok/Carver Hawke
Arishok/Ethan Hawke
Ashaad/Ketojan/Saemus Dumar
Ashaad/Saemus Dumar
Bartrand Tethras/Carver Hawke
Bemis Cousland/Lysander Amell (OC Ship)
Blackwall/Carver Hawke
Cole/Dorian Pavus
Cullen Rutherford/Dorian Pavus
Cullen Rutherford/Ethan Hawke
Cullen Rutherford/Illeah Lavellan
Cullen Rutherford/Tempestia Surana
Danarius/Dorian Pavus
Duncan/Cailan Theirin
Fenris/Carver Hawke
Fenris/Ethan Hawke
Fenris/Sahir Nadeer (OC)
Greagoir/Irving
Herren/Wade
Jarvia/Isabela
Jowan/Sister(Mother) Petrice
Justice/Seneschal Bran
Ketojan/Saemus Dumar
Leliana/Josephine MontilyetLoghain Mac Tir/Maric Theirin
Meeran/Carver Hawke
Sebastian Vael/Ethan Hawke
The Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus
The Iron Bull/Solas
Varric Tethras/Ethan Hawke
Varric Tethras/Merrill
Varric Tethras/Solas
Zevran Arainai/Alistair Theirin
Zevran Arainai/Mortine Mahariel
Dreaming Mary
Boaris/Mary(Mari)
Father/Mary(Mari)
Foxanne/Bunnilda
Gwendell (Glenn)/Mary(Mari)
Ed, Edd, ‘n Eddy
Eddy/Edd
Kevin/Edd
Kevin/Rolf
Johnny/Jimmy
Sarah/Jimmy
The Evil Within
Reuben ‘Ruvik’ Victoriano/Leslie Withers
Sebastian Castellanos/Joseph Oda
Fallout Universe
Barrett/Murphy
Benjamin ‘Benji’ Montgomery/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Butch DeLoria/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Charon/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Charon/Iib Townshend(FLW)
Colin Moriarity/Andy Stahl
Desmond Lockheart/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Everett/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Flash/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Karl/Justin
Mercenary/Moira Brown
Sole Survivor/Sole Survivor
Three Dog/Gob
Timebomb/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Vance/Ian West
Wally Mack/Derek Segraves(MLW)
Wally Mack/Paul Hanon
Walter/Leo Stahl
Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest
Zak Young/Pips
Final Fantasy
Balthier/Vaan
Cloud Strife/Kadaj
Fang/Lightning
Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth
Gilliam ‘Gil’ Blat/Angeal Hewley (OC/Canon Ship)
Gippal/Baralai
Layle/Keiss
Loz/Yazoo
Lulu/Yuna
Paine/Rikku
Reeve Tuesti/Vincent Valentine
Rude/Reno
Seifer Almasy/Zell Dincht
Snow/Hope
Squall Leonhart/Irvine Kinneas
Tseng/Rufus ShinRa
Wakka/Tidus
Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Gravity Falls
Mabel Pines/Pacifica
Robbie/Dipper Pines
Thompson/Mabel Pines
Wendy/Tambry
Harry Potter (Movieverse) - ON HIATUS
Blaize Zabini/Saemus Finnegan
Dean Thomas/Saemus Finnegan
Lee Jordan/Saemus Finnegan
Oliver Wood/Marcus Flint
Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy
Severus Snape/Lucius Malfoy
Harry Potter/Hermione Granger
Heathers (Movieverse, Slight Musicalverse)
Jason Dean/Lucas Ward (Dismissed Crossover)
Heather Chandler/Heather Duke
Heather Duke/Veronica Sawyer
Jason Dean/Firkle Smith (South Park Crossover)
Jason Dean/Vernon Sawyer (Male Veronica)
Jason Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Jason Dean/Victor Criss (IT Crossover)
Kurt Kelly/Ram
Veronica Sawyer/Heather McNamara
Veronica Sawyer/Martha Dunstock
Hellboy (Movieverse)
Hellboy/Abe Sapien
Hey Arnold
Helga G. Pataki/Rhonda Wellington Lloyd
Nadine/Rhonda Wellington Lloyd
Stinky Peterson/Sid
Torvald/Stoop Kid
Inception
Dom Cobb/Ariadne
Eames/Arthur
Insidious
Josh Lambert/Parker Crane
Josh Lambert/Specs
Tucker/Specs
Invader Zim
Dib Membrane/Zim
Red/Purple
Tak/Gaz Membrane
The Iron Giant
Dean/Hogarth
IT (2017)
Belch Huggins/Victor Criss
Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh
Bill Denbrough/Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh
Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh
Bill Denbrough/Stan Uris
Butch Bowers/Patrick Hockstetter
Butch Bowers/Victor Criss
Henry Bowers/Belch Huggins
Henry Bowers/Belch Huggins/Victor Criss
Henry Bowers/Victor Criss
Mike Hanlon/Bill Denbrough/Stan Uris
Mike Hanlon/Patrick Hockstetter
Mike Hanlon/Richie Rozier/Stan Uris/Eddie Kaspbrak
Mike Hanlon/Stan Uris
Mike Hanlon/Victor Criss
Patrick Hockstetter/Avery Hockstetter
Patrick Hockstetter/Belch Huggins
Patrick Hockstetter/Belch Huggins/Victor Criss
Patrick Hockstetter/Henry Bowers
Patrick Hockstetter/Henry Bowers/Belch Huggins
Patrick Hockstetter/Henry Bowers/Belch Huggins/Victor Criss
Patrick Hockstetter/Henry Bowers/Victor Criss
Patrick Hockstetter/Victor Criss
Pennywise/Pennywise
Pennywise/Victor Criss
Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak
Richie Tozier/Stan Uris/Eddie Kaspbrak
Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers/Darry
Kick-Ass/2 Movieverse
Todd Haynes/Katarina Dombrovski
Dave Lizewski/Chris D'Amico
Javier/Chris D'Amico
Kingdom Hearts
Axel/Demyx
Axel/Marluxia
Larxene/Namine
Lexaeus/Zexion
Luxord/Demyx
Luxord/Marluxia
Luxord/Xaldin
Pence/Olette
Rai/Fuu
Riku/Sora
Roxas/Xion
Saix/Demyx
Saix/Xemnas
Seifer/Hayner
Vexen/Marluxia
Xigbar/Demyx
Xigbar/Xaldin
Krampus
Howard/Tom Engel
Krampus/Max Engel
Krampus/Tom Engel
Tom Engel/Max Engel
Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler
Claude Faustus/Alois Trancy
Pluto/Grell Sutcliffe
Undertaker/Grell Sutcliffe
Undertaker/William Spears/Grell Sutcliffe
League Of Super Evil
Doomageddon/Doktor Frogg
Red Menace/Doktor Frogg
Left 4 Dead/2
Keith/Dave
Keith/Ellis
Louis/Francis
Nick/Dave
Nick/Ellis
OC/OC
Lollipop Chainsaw
Gideon Starling/Elizabeth Starling
Lewis Legend/Swan
Nick Carlyle/Juliet Starling
Vikke/Josey
Zed/Mariska
Zed/Swan
Mad Max
Angharad/Capable
Dag/Capable
Dag/Cheedo
Dag/Toast
Max Rockatansky/Blood Shed Ted
Max Rockatansky/Imperator Furiosa
Nux/Slit
OC/OC
Rictus Erectus/The Ace
Stank Gum/Scabrous Scrotus
Marvel
Alex Summers/Hank McCoy/Sean Cassidy
Alex Summers/Sean Cassidy
Azazel/Emma Frost
Azazel/Kurt Wagner
Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Erik Lensherr/Charles Xavier
Hank McCoy/Charles Xavier
Hank McCoy/Sean Cassidy
Lance Alvers/Pietro Maximoff
Loki Laufeyson/Tony Stark
Mortimer Toynbee/Emma Frost
St. John Allerdyce/Pietro Maximoff
St. John Allerdyce/Tabitha Smith
Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
The Incredible Hulk/Tony Stark
Todd Tolansky/Kurt Wagner
Todd Tolansky/Pietro Maximoff
Tony Stark/Pepper Pots
Wade Winston Wilson/Bob, Agent Of Hydra
Wanda Maximoff/Anne-Marie (Rogue)
Miraculous Ladybug
Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng
The Mist (2017)
Tyler Denton/Adrian Garf
Monster Prom
Amira Red/Miranda Vanderbilt
Amira Red/Polly Geist
Brian Green/Damien LaVey
Brian Green/Damien LaVey/Liam De Lioncourt/Oz Yellow
Brian Green/Oz Yellow
Damien LaVey/Liam De Lioncourt
Liam De Lioncourt/Oz Yellow
Scott Howl/Football Team
Scott Howl/Liam De Lioncourt
Scott Howl/Vicky Blue
Vera Oberlin/Polly Geist
Vicky Blue/Polly Geist
Monsters University/Inc.
Brock Pearson/Claire Wheeler
James P. “Sulley” Sullivan/Michael “Mike” Wizowski
Johnny J. Worthington III/Randall “Randy” Boggs
Nadia Petrov/Taylor Harbrooke
Night In The Woods
Angus Delaney/Greggory Lee
Bea Santello/Mae Borowski
Casey Hartley/Greggory Lee
Levy/Steve Skriggins
Jeremy “Germ Warfare” Warton/Selma Ann “Selmers” Forrester
Outlast
Edward “Eddie” Gluskin (The Groom)/Terry “Theresa” Harriss (OC)
Portal/2
Adventure Core/Fact Core
Cave Johnson/Caroline
Cave Johnson/Evil Cave Johnson
Chell/GLaDOS
Companion Cube/Turret
Logic Core/Curiosity Core
Weighted Cube/Defective Turret
Wheatley/Space Core
Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time (Movieverse)
Garsiv/Dastan
Princess And The Goblin
Prince Froglip/Princess Irene
Rick And Morty
Abradolf Lincoler/Nancy
Birdperson/Tammy Gueterman
Brad/Morty Smith
Greaser Morty/Punk Morty
Lucius Needful/Summer Smith
Rick Sanchez/Morty Smith (in all/most incarnations)
Summer Smith/Jessica
Regular Show
Don/Rigby
Mordecai/Rigby
Skips/Benson
Rocket Power
Lars Rodriguez/Twister Rodriguez
Otto Rocket/Sam Dullard
Saw
John Kramer/Amanda Young
Lawrence Gordon/Adam Faulkner
Logan Nelson/David (Saw .5)
Lukas Faulkner (OC)/Adam Faulkner
Lukas Faulkner (OC)/David (Saw .5)
Lukas Faulkner (OC)/Scott Tibbs
Lynn Denlon/Amanda Young
Mark Hoffman/Peter Strahm
Scott Tibbs/Adam Faulkner
Scott Tibbs/Lark
Silent Hill
Butcher/Valtiel
Pyramid Head/Alessa Gilespie
Walter Sullivan/Murphey Pendleton
South Park
Bradley (Cartman Sucks)/Leopold “Butters” Stotch
Christophe “Ze Mole”/Firkle
Christophe “Ze Mole”/Kyle Broflovski
Christophe “Ze Mole”/Leopold “Butters” Stotch
Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens
Craig Tucker/Gregory of Yardale/Tweek Tweak
Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Damien Thorn/Firkle
Damien Thorn/Phillip “Pip” Pirrup
Eric Cartman/Bebe Stevens
Eric Cartman/Firkle
Eric Cartman/Wendy Testaburger
Filmore Anderson/Firkle
Gregory of Yardale/Tweek Tweak
Ike Broflovski/Firkle
Kenny McCormick/Bradley (Cartman Sucks)/Leopold “Butters” Stotch
Kenny McCormick/Firkle
Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski
Kenny McCormick/Leopold “Butters” Stotch
Kevin McCormick/Firkle
Michael/Pete
Michael/Firkle
Mike Makowski/Firkle
Mike Makowski/Larry
Nathan/Firkle
Quaid/Filmore Anderson
Quaid/Firkle
Red/Henrietta Biggle
Ryan Ellis/Larry
Scott Malkinson/New Kid
Scott Tenorman/Firkle
Stan Marsh/Firkle
Stan Marsh/Gregory Of Yardale
Stan Marsh/Pete
Stan Marsh/Gary Harrison
Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Trent Boyett/Firkle
Token Black/Clyde Donnovan
Token Black/Clyde Donnovan/Bebe Stevens
Team Fortress 2 (I have OC’s for this)
Demoman/Soldier
Engineer/Medic
Heavy/Medic
Pyro/Medic
Pyro/Scout
Pyro/Sniper
Sniper/Medic
Sniper/Scout
Soldier/Engineer
Spy/Scout
Spy/Sniper/Scout
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Leonardo/Donatello
Raphael/Casey Jones
Raphael/Michelangelo
Until Dawn
Billy Bates/Mike Munroe
Josh Washington/Chris
Josh Washington/Mike Munroe
Matt/Chris
Matt/Mike Munroe
Matt/Mike Munroe/Jessica/Sam/Billy Bates
Mike Munroe/Jessica
Mike Munroe/Sam
The Walking Dead
Glen Rhee/Daryl Dixon
Merle Dixon/Daryl Dixon
Rick Grimes/Daryl Dixon
We’re Back
Louis/Cecilia Nuthatch
Yami No Matsuei/Descendents Of Darkness
Hisoka Kurosaki/Asato Tsuzuki
Seiichiro Tatsumi/Yutaka Watari
Zootopia
Chief Bogo/Benjamin Clawhauser
Finnick/Gideon Grey
Larry/Gary
Nick Wilde/Judy Hopps
Pronk Oryx-Antlerson/Bucky Oryx-Antlerson
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by Kurt Schmidt:
For anyone that loves Christmas, Music, and Travelling Vienna at Christmas is a must see destination.
Christmas Season Officially starts on November 14 with the opening of the first Christmas Markets at "Rat Hall" or translated properly City Hall. Other Christmas Markets open over the next few days and by late November all the Christmas Markets are open.
City Hall Market is by far the largest and most crowded but well work at least one visit. If your more in a family affair you can't beat the Christmas Market at Karls Platz. There is everything for the entire family to enjoy. The Highlight for the youngest in your family will be the Petting zoo with a very Christmas setting.
This Christmas Market might just be the easiest of all to find and get to as it is right at one of the largest subway stations in Vienna.
Make sure to explorer all of Vienna there are a great many Christmas markets. Go out into the "sub-burbs'" which are only 5 minutes from central Vienna via bus or subway. And incase this your first time in Vienna the locals spell it "Wien". See below for our favorite Christmas Markets in Vienna.
Even at Christmas Vienna is a city of music. Christmas is a time between other major events in Vienna because Christmas is the Major event. Even So there are still great musicals, Chamber orchestra, plays, operas and more to see. Before you leave get on the plane make sure you have purchased your tickets to the show you want to see. Most shows are for a small crowd and group tours can some times book them out well in advance.
Besides seeing a show, you must visit Belvedere at night during Christmas and take a picture. The cover photo for this piece is Belvedere Palace at night. During the day is also a great time to go into Belvedere Palace and see the museum.
The one thing no one tells people coming to Vienna is that Vienna is CLOSED on Sundays. Don’t plan on going shopping for anything or Eating out at local eatery on Sunday nothing will be open. If you need a day to recover or want to day to see the city on foot Sunday is the day.
While you’re at the Christmas markets make sure to get some Christmas punch or “Weihnachtspunsch”. Every Market has its own unique cup that you can “rent” or keep. You pay your deposit for your first cup, and just pay for refills. At the end of the night you can keep it or return it for your deposit back. Christmas Punch comes in dozens of flavors so if you don’t like the first one or even the second one there are plenty more to try.
Another must visit location is GRABEN AND KÄRNTNER STRASS there is a Christmas market here but the Lights and Carriage Rids are the must do activity. You will also get a good tour of the local area and may find a great many shops you want to revisit during the day. Did I say? Your first trip here should be after dark so you can see the lights. Due to the Church’s location and the major subway station under it you probable be back here several times.
One of those other activities you should book as soon as you have a date set for Vienne is the Spanish Riding School. You can get tickets the day of, but you will be standing and there will be columns and people in front of you. Best to book the “royal” seats which are the only seats that can see the entire show.
You have plenty of choice were to eat in Vienna but if your expecting sit down service you better make a reservation.
You can get stuffed at the Christmas markets with everything from sweets to full meals.
If you’re not short on time, and you love to ski it is will worth renting a car and driving up to one of the ski resorts neat Salzburg. While you there you should also visit the Castle and the local Christmas market. If your not that great with navigation its no problem, when renting the car make sure to get GPS, have them put the car into English, AND most important of all ensure you are allowed to take it into Germany. That means pay for the vignette aka toll Sticker for Germany, it is a flat rate per day. Salzburg is very close to Germany, if your great at navigation and your not going to Germany you can save the money.
Make sure you go up to the TOP of the castle as there is a museum and Christmas market. You can walk up or take the tram up (if you’re in great shape)
Another great sight to see is Krumpas if you’re going to be in Vienna on December 6 make sure to buy tickets in advance and arrange a car to go the festival outside Vienna, there is no bus or subway service to the Festival. If that is too much there is also a Krampus Parade on December 5 in the heat of Vienna.
For Our list of top markets (in order by which ones you must see if you have limited time)
Viennese Dream Christmas Market
@city hall - family friendly
Christmas Village on Maria-Theresien-Platz
About 200 yards/meters away from City hall. The Best place to find Crafts.
Christmas Market at Spittelberg
Great for Couples or an Adult Crowd. (Kids would get board)
Art Advent - Art & Crafts on Karlsplatz
This is on that the kids would love.
Christmas and New Year's Market at Schönbrunn Palace
If you’re going to Schönbrunn Palace stop by… If your not it is out of your way.
Christmas Village at Belvedere Palace
Old Viennese Christmas Market Freyung
Christmas Village on the University Campus
For a Full list of Christmas markets in Vienna please visit Vienna’s official page.
Read more of A Christmas Blog or Shop Now at Schmidt Christmas Market
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German Folklore
German folklore is the folk tradition which has naturally developed in Germany over the centuries. It shares many characteristics with Scandinavian and English folklore due to their origins in Germanic mythology, reflecting a similar mix of influences: a pre-Christian pantheon and other beings equivalent to those of Norse mythology; magical characters (often pre-Christian) associated with Christian festivals, and various regional stories.
As in Scandinavia, when belief in the old gods disappeared, remnants of the mythos persisted: Holda, a supernatural patron of spinning; the Lorelei, a dangerous Rhein siren derived from 19th century literature; the spirit Berchta (aka Perchta); the Weisse Frauen, a water spirit said to protect children; the Wild Hunt (in German folklore preceded by an old man, Honest Eckart, who warns others of its approach); the giant Rübezahl; changeling legends; and many more generic entities such as the elf, dwarf, kobold, and erlking.
Popular holiday-related folklore includes Krampus and Knecht Ruprecht, a rough companion to Santa Claus; the Lutzelfrau, a Yule witch who must be appeased with small presents, the Osterhase (the original Easter Bunny), and Walpurgisnacht, a spring festival derived from Pagan customs. Character folklore includes the stories of Pied Piper of Hameln, the trickster hero Till Eulenspiegel, the Town Musicians of Bremen, and Faust.
Documentation and preservation of folklore in the German states was initially fostered in the 18th and 19th centuries. The Saxon author Johann Karl August Musäus was an early collector; study was further promoted by Prussian poet and philosopher Johann Gottfried von Herder. His belief in the role of folklore in ethnic nationalism - a folklore of Germany as a nation rather than of disunited German-speaking peoples - inspired the Brothers Grimm, Goethe and others. Folklore elements, such as the Rhine Maidens and the Grimms’ The Story of a Boy Who Went Forth to Learn Fear, formed part of the source material for Richard Wagner’s opera cycle Der Ring des Nibelungen. Some of the works of Washington Irving - notably Rip van Winkle and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - are based on German folktales.
Within Germany, the nationalistic aspect was further emphasized during the National Socialist era. Folklore studies, Volkskunde, were co-opted as a political tool to seek out traditional customs in order to support the idea of historical continuity within a Germanic culture.
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Everything I Read in 2016
For the third year in a row, I logged every novel, short story collection, poetry compilation, graphic novel, and collected edition of monthly comics I read, excluding individual monthly comics (on which I continued to fall catastrophically behind) and anything I read (and reread, and reread again) for my day job. My only big change? A lot of these books were read on my iPad Mini. And a good number were for my gay book club (you can guess which ones).
If you don’t yet keep track of your reading, you should start in 2017. It’s your best bet for hitting a reading goal, and for folks like me who read a ton, it’s a nice way to recall books that otherwise departed your memory.
For the tl;dr crowd, here are my Top 13 for the year, in the order in which I read them:
On Writing, Stephen King
Binti, Nnedi Okorafor
The Girls, Emma Cline
I Am a Hero Vol. 1 & Vol. 2, Kengo Hanazawa
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Saenz
The Hero: Book Two, David Rubín
Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Ocean Vuong
Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders (I read an ARC)
A Choir of Ill Children, Tom Piccirilli
Habitat, Simon Roy
Prez Vol. 1, Mark Russell, Ben Caldwell, Domo Stanton
Bones of the Coast, edited by Shannon Campbell, Jeff Ellis, Kathleen Jacques
(New X-Men Omnibus was a re-read, or it would be up here.)
The rest is below the jump!
I don’t really feel like dumping on anything this year. I definitely got burnt out on comic anthologies, and I hated A Little Life, but the good outweighs the bad. Below is the full list, divided by month, followed by a few statistics and an evaluation of my 2016 reading goals as established last January.
[A note on comics: I feel guilty that I’ve left off colorists and inkers, as they contribute so much to a book, but I defaulted to cover credits while logging my reading and don’t have most of these books on-hand to fix it now.]
January
The Amazing World of Gumball: Fairy Tale Trouble, Megan Brennan, Katy Farina, Jeremy Lawson
Adventure Time: Masked Mayhem, Kate Leth, Bridget Underwood, Drew Green, Vaughn Pinpin, Meredith McClaren
Sir Edward Grey: Witchfinder: The Mysteries of Unland, Kim Newman, Maura McHugh, Tyler Crook
On Writing, Stephen King
Binti, Nnedi Okorafor
The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2016, edited by John Joseph Adams & Joe Hill
The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps, Kai Ashante Wilson
February
Planet Hulk, Sam Humphries & Marc Laming
Future Imperfect, Peter David & Greg Land
Hail Hydra, Rick Remender & Roland Boschi
House of M, Dennis Hopeless & Marco Failla
Marvel Zombies, Si Spurrier & Kev Walker
Old Man Logan, Brian Michael Bendis & Andrea Sorrentino
The Girls, Emma Cline
The Gilded Razor, Sam Lansky
March
Civil War, Charles Soule & Leinil Francis Yu
New X-Men Omnibus, Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely, Phil Jimenez, Ethan Van Sciver, Igor Kordey, Marc Silvestri, Keron Grant, Chris Bachalo, John Paul Leon, Bill Sienkiewicz, Leinil Francis Yu
The Eye of the Cat, Elejandro Jodorowsky & Moebius
All the Birds in the Sky, Charlie Jane Anders
Beyond Anthology, edited by Sfé Monster & Taneka Scott
A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara
Balloon Pop Outlaw Black, Patricia Lockwood
April
I Am a Hero Vol. 1, Kengo Hanazawa
The Nameless City Vol. 1, Faith Erin Hicks
Ody-C Vol. 1, Matt Fraction & Christian Ward
Lovecraft Country, Matt Ruff
Husk, Rachel Autumn Deering
New World: An Anthology of Sci-Fi & Fantasy, edited by C. Spike Trotman
Chainmail Bikini: An Anthology of Women Gamers, edited by Hazel Newlevant
Broken Frontier, edited by Frederik Hautain & Tyler Chin-Tanner
Love in All Forms: The Big Book of Growing Up Queer, edited by Serafina Dwyer
Wonder Woman: Earth One Vol. 1, Grant Morrison & Yanick Paquette
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Benjamin Alire Saenz
The Hero: Book Two, David Rubín
The Girl With All the Gifts, M. R. Carey
Regular Show: Noir Means Noir, Buddy, Rachel Connor, Robert Luckett, Wook Jin Clark
Night Air, Ben Sears
Revenger: Children of the Damned, Charles Forsman
Magic for Beginners, Kelly Link
May
Dark Engine Vol. 1, Ryan Burton & John Bivens
Disney Kingdoms: Seekers of the Weird, Brandon Seifert, Karl Moline, Filipe Andrade
The Girl in the Flammable Skirt, Aimee Bender
Every Heart a Doorway, Seanan McGuire
Mr. Splitfoot, Samantha Hunt
Fire Shut Up in My Bones, Charles M. Blow
Revival Vol. 1, Tim Seeley & Mike Norton
The Fireman, Joe Hill
Colder: Toss the Bones, Paul Tobin & Juan Ferreyra
The Fly: Outbreak, Brandon Seifert & Menton3
Faker, Mike Carey & Jock
What If? Infinity, Joshua Williamson, Mike Henderson, Riley Rossmo, Mike Norton, Jason Copeland, Goran Sudžuka
June
Hawkeye vs. Deadpool, Gerry Duggan, Matteo Lolli, Jacopo Camagni
Outcast Vol. 3, Robert Kirkman & Paul Azaceta
Lady Killer Vol. 1, Joelle Jones & Jamie S. Rich
The Fiction, Curt Pires & David Rubín
The Amazing World of Gumball Vol. 2, Frank Gibson, Tyson Hesse, Paulina Ganucheau
Arcadia, Alex Paknadel & Eric Scott Pfeiffer
Black Market, Frank J. Barbiere & Victor Santos
Dream Thief Vol. 2, Jai Nitz, Greg Smallwood, Todd Galusha
Contest of Champions Vol.1, Al Ewing & Paco Medina
The Infinity Gauntlet, Dustin Weaver & Gerry Duggan
The Amulet, Michael McDowell
The Dark Half, Stephen King
The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Steve Moncuse & Art Adams
Steven Universe: Too Cool for School, Ian Jones-Quartey, Jeremy Sorese, Asia Kendrick-Horton, Rachel Dukes, Josceline Fenton
Bob’s Burgers: Medium Rare, overseen by Loren Bouchard
Bob’s Burgers: Well Done, overseen by Loren Bouchard
Zombie, Joyce Carol Oates
Kare-Kare Komiks, Andrew Drilon
Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Ocean Vuong
The Witcher: House of Glass, Paul Tobin & Joe Querio
X-Men: No More Humans, Mike Carey & Salvador Larroca
Cold Moon Over Babylon, Michael McDowell
July
Black Hand Comics, Wes Craig
Disappearance at Devil’s Rock, Paul Tremblay
B.P.R.D.: Hell on Earth: The Devil’s Wings, John Arcudi, Mike Mignola, Lawrence Campbell, Joe Querio, Tyler Crook
B.P.R.D.: Hell on Earth: Flesh & Stone, John Arcudi, Mike Mignola, James Harren
Abe Sapien: Sacred Places, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Sebastian Fiumara, Max Fiumara
Abe Sapien: A Darkness So Great, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Sebastian Fuimara, Max Fiumara
Hellboy & the B.P.R.D. 1952, Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Alex Maleev
Lobster Johnson: Get the Lobster!, Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, Tonči Zonjić
Green River Killer: A True Detective Story, Jeff Jensen & Jonathan Case
The Witcher: Fox Children, Paul Tobin & Joe Querio
Children of the Night, John Blackburn
Frankenstein Underground, Mike Mignola & Ben Stenbeck
My Best Friend’s Exorcism, Grady Hendrix
August
The Well, Jack Cady
Angel Catbird Vol. 1, Margaret Atwood & Johnnie Christmas
Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders
September
Fellside, M. R. Carey
The Twilight Children, Gilbert Hernandez & Darwyn Cooke
Veil, Greg Rucka & Toni Fejzula
Negative Space, Ryan K. Lindsey & Owen Geini
Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 1, Alex De Campi, Chris Peterson, Simon Fraser
Bitch Planet Vol. 1, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Valentine De Landro, Robert Wilson IV
Ody-C Vol. 2, Matt Fraction & Christian Ward
Tampa, Alissa Nutting
Clive Barker’s A-Z of Horror, compiled by Stephen Jones
The Missing, Sarah Langan
Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 2, Alex De Campi, Federica Manfredi, Gary Erskine
Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 3, Alex De Campi, R.M. Guera, Chris Peterson
Grindhouse: Doors Open at Midnight Vol. 4, Alex De Campi, Mulele Jarvis, John Lucas
Audition, Ryu Murakami
Mr. Arashi’s Amazing Freak Show, Suehiro Maruo
In the Miso Soup, Ryu Murakami
October
Ghosts, Raina Telgemeier
Anya’s Ghost, Vera Brosgol
One Week in the Library, W. Maxwell Prince & John Amor
A Choir of Ill Children, Tom Piccirilli
The Bloody Chamber, Angela Carter
I Am a Hero Vol. 2, Kengo Hanazawa
The Beauty Vol. 1, Jeremy Haun & Jason A. Hurley
The Creepy Case Files of Margo Maloo Vol. 1, Drew Weing
November
Gerald’s Game, Stephen King
Call Me By Your Name, André Aciman
Invisible Republic Vol. 1, Gabriel Hardman & Corinne Bechko
Roche Limit Vol. 1, Michael Moreci & Vic Malhorta
What Belongs to You, Garth Greenwell
Roche Limit Vol. 2, Michael Moreci & Kyle Charles
Roche Limit Vol. 3, Michael Moreci & Kyle Charles
One-Punch Man Vol. 9, ONE & Yusuke Murata
One-Punch Man Vol. 10, ONE & Yusuke Murata
Habitat, Simon Roy
December
Beowulf, Santiago García & David Rubín
The Oath, edited by Audrey Redpath
Star Wars: Tales From the Far, Far Away, Michael Moreci, Tim Daniel, Ryan Cady, Phillip Sevy, etc.
Prelude to Bruise, Saeed Jones
Grief is the Thing With Feathers, Max Porter
Tomie Deluxe Edition, Junji Ito
Krampus!, Brian Jones & Dean Kotz
Fantasy Sports Vol. 2, Sam Bosma
The Beauty Vol. 2, Jeremy Haun, Jason A. Hurley, Mike Huddleston, Brett Weldele, Stephen Green
Prez Vol. 1, Mark Russell, Ben Caldwell, Domo Stanton
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe, Ryan Q. North & Erica Henderson
Love is Love, edited by Marc Andreyko
Joe Golem Vol. 1, Mike Mignola, Christopher Golden, Patric Reynolds
Baltimore: Cult of the Red King, Mike Mignola, Christopher Golden, Peter Bergting
Abe Sapien: The Burning Fire, Mike Mignola, Scott Allie, Max Fiumara, Sebastian Fiumara, Tyler Crook
Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House of the Night of Dread Desire, Neil Gaiman & Shane Oakley
Bones of the Coast, edited by Shannon Campbell, Jeff Ellis, Kathleen Jacques
Total:
140 Books (up from 128 in 2015 and 87 in 2014)
Breakdown:
39 Novels or short story collections (down from 43 in 2015 and 44 in 2014)
98 Graphic novels/collected editions of comics (up from 84 in 2015 and a measly 42 in 2014)
3 Books of poetry (triple the 2015 and 2014 counts!)
About 35 Books written or edited by female authors (up from 20 in 2015 and 16 in 2014; note that I’m only counting writers and editors, not artists, and I’m counting books, not unique authors)
Roughly 19 books by (known-to-be) non-white authors (down from 30 last year but up from 9 in 2014...but both this year and last were inflated by multiple entries from manga creators)
...and at least 16 books written or edited by queer and trans authors.
So...any suggestions for 2017?
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