#Karen Ingala Smith

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

FACTS AND STATISTICS ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT-A-GLANCE

Spon.sored by the peer-reviewed journal Partner Abuse https://www.springerpub.com/partner-abuse.html 

and the Association of Domestic Violence Intervention Providers https://domesticviolenceintervention.net/

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Facts and Statistics on Prevalence of Partner Abuse

Victimization

Overall, 22% of individuals assaulted by a partner at least once in their lifetime (23% for females and 19.3% for  males)

Higher overall rates among dating students

Higher victimization for male than female high school students

Lifetime rates higher among women than men

Past year rates somewhat higher among men

Higher rates of intimate partner violence (IPV) among younger, dating populations “highlights the need for school-based IPV prevention and intervention efforts”

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Perpetration

Overall, 25.3% of individuals have perpetrated IPV

Rates of female-perpetrated violence higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%)

Wide range in perpetration rates:  1.0% to 61.6% for males; 2.4% to 68.9% for women,

Range of findings due to variety of samples and operational definitions of PV

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Emotional Abuse and Control

80% of individuals have perpetrated emotional abuse

Emotional abuse categorized as either expressive (in response to a provocation) or coercive (intended to monitor, control and/or threaten)

Across studies, 40% of women and 32% of men reported expressive abuse; 41% of women and 43% of men reported coercive abuse

According to national samples, 0.2% of men and 4.5% of women have been forced to have sexual intercourse by a partner

4.1% to 8% of women and 0.5% to 2% of men report at least one incident of stalking during their lifetime

Intimate stalkers comprise somewhere between one-third and one half of all stalkers.

Within studies of stalking and obsessive behaviors, gender differences are much less when all types of obsessive pursuit behaviors are considered, but more skewed toward female victims when the focus is on physical stalking

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Facts and Statistics on Context

Bi-directional vs. Uni-directional

Among large population samples, 57.9% of IPV reported was bi-directional, 42% unidirectional; 13.8% of the unidirectional violence was male to female (MFPV), 28.3% was female to male (FMPV)

Among school and college samples, percentage of  bidirectional violence was 51.9%; 16.2% was MFPV and 31.9% was FMPV

Among respondents reporting IPV in legal or female-oriented clinical/treatment seeking samples not associated with the military, 72.3% was bi-directional; 13.3% was MFPV, 14.4% was FMPV

Within military and male treatment samples, only 39% of IPV was bi-directional; 43.4% was MFPV and 17.3% FMPV

Unweighted rates:  bidirectional rates ranged from 49.2% (legal/female treatment) to 69.7% (legal/male treatment)

Extent of bi-directionality in IPV comparable between heterosexual and LGBT populations

50.9% of IPV among Whites bilateral; 49% among Latinos; 61.8% among African-Americans

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Motivation

Male and female IPV perpetrated from similar motives – primarily to get back at a partner for emotionally hurting them, because of stress or jealousy, to express anger and other feelings that they could not put into words or communicate, and to get their partner��s attention.

Eight studies directly compared men and women in the power/control motive and subjected their findings to statistical analyses. Three reported no significant gender differences and one had mixed findings. One paper found that women were more motivated to perpetrate violence as a result of power/control than were men, and three found that men were more motivated; however, gender differences were weak

Of the ten papers containing gender-specific statistical analyses, five indicated that women were significantly more likely to report self-defense as a motive for perpetration than men. Four papers did not find statistically significant gender differences, and one paper reported that men were more likely to report this motive than women.  Authors point out that it might be particularly difficult for highly masculine males to admit to perpetrating violence in self-defense, as this admission implies vulnerability.

Self-defense was endorsed in most samples by only a minority of respondents, male and female.  For non-perpetrator samples, the rates of self-defense reported by men ranged from 0% to 21%, and for women the range was 5% to 35%.  The highest rates of reported self-defense motives (50% for men, 65.4% for women) came from samples of perpetrators, who may have reasons to overestimate this motive.

None of the studies reported that anger/retaliation was significantly more of a motive for men than women’s violence; instead, two papers indicated that anger was more likely to be a motive for women’s violence as compared to men.

Jealousy/partner cheating seems to be a motive to perpetrate violence for both men and women.

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Facts and Statistics on Risk Factors

Demographic risk factors predictive of IPV:  younger age, low income/unemployment, minority group membership

Low to moderate correlations between childhood-of-origin exposure to abuse and IPV

Protective factors against dating violence:  Positive, involved parenting during adolescence, encouragement of nonviolent behavior; supportive peers

Negative peer involvement predictive of teen dating violence

Conduct disorder/anti-social personality risk factors for IPV

Weak association between depression and IPV, strongest for women

Weak association overall between alcohol and IPV, but stronger association for drug use

Alcohol use more strongly associated with female-perpetrated than male-perpetrated IPV

Married couples at lower risk than dating couples; separated women the most vulnerable

Low relationship satisfaction and high conflict predictive of IPV, especially high conflict

With few exception, IPV risk factors the same for men and women

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Facts and Statistics on Impact on Victims, Children and Families

Impact on Partners

Victims of physical abuse experience more physical injuries, poorer physical functioning and health outcomes, higher rates of psychological symptoms and disorders, and poorer cognitive functioning compared to non-victims.  These findings were consistent regardless of the nature of the sample, and, with some exceptions were generally greater for female victims compared to male victims.

Physical abuse significantly decreases female victims’ psychological well-being, increases the probability of suffering from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and substance abuse; and victimized women more likely to report visits to mental health professionals and to take medications including painkillers and tranquilizers.

Few studies have examined the consequences of physical victimization in men, and the studies that have been conducted have focused primarily on sex differences in injury rates.

When severe aggression has been perpetrated (e.g., punching, kicking, using a weapon), rates of injury are much higher among female victims than male victims, and those injuries are more likely to be life-threatening and require a visit to an emergency room or hospital. However, when mild-to-moderate aggression is perpetrated (e.g., shoving, pushing, slapping), men and women tend to report similar rates of injury.

Physically abused women have been found to engage in poorer health behaviors and risky sexual behaviors. They are more likely to miss work, have fewer social and emotional support networks are also less likely to be able to take care of their children and perform household duties.

Similarly, psychological victimization among women is significantly associated with poorer occupational functioning and social functioning.

Psychological victimization is strongly associated with symptoms of depression and suicidal ideation, anxiety, self-reported fear and increased perceived stress, insomnia and poor self-esteem

Psychological victimization is at least as strongly related as physical victimization to depression, PTSD, and alcohol use as is physical victimization, and effects of psychological victimization remain even after accounting for the effects of physical victimization.

Because research on the psychological consequences of abuse on male victims is very limited and has yielded mixed findings (some studies find comparable effects of psychological abuse across gender, while others do not) it is premature to draw any firm conclusions about this issue.

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Effects of Partner Violence and Conflict on Children

Significant correlation between witnessing mutual PV and both internalizing (e.g., anxiety, depression) and externalizing outcomes (e.g., school problems, aggression) for children and adolescents

Exposure to male-perpetrated PV:  Worse outcomes in internalizing and externalizing problems, including higher rates of aggression toward family members and dating partners, compared to no exposure

Children and teens exposed to female-perpetrated PV significantly more likely to aggress against peers, family members and dating partners compared to those not so exposed

Results mixed regarding additive effect of exposure to PV and experiencing direct child abuse

Witnessing PV in childhood correlated with trauma symptoms and depression in adulthood

Child abuse correlated with family violence perpetration in adulthood

Children more impacted by exposure to conflict characterized by contempt, hostility and withdrawal compared to those characterized only by anger

Greater impact when topic discussed concerns the child (e.g., disagreements over child rearing, blaming the child)

High inter-parental conflict/emotional abuse leads to a decrease in parental sensitivity, warmth and consistent discipline; and an increase in harsh discipline and psychological control

Neurobiological and physical functioning mediate relationship between inter-parental conflict and negative child outcomes

Maternal behaviors somewhat more affected than paternal behaviors, but findings are equivocal, given difficulty in disaggregating male and female perpetrated conflict from couple level operationalizations

Greater effects found for mother-child relationships and child outcomes through the toddler years; greater effects found for father-child relationships and child outcomes during the school-age years

Family systems theory useful in understanding how discord in one part of the family can impact functioning in the family as a whole, even if it poses some methodological and explanatory challenges

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Facts and Statistics on Partner Abuse in Other Populations

Partner Abuse in Ethnic Minority and LGBT Populations

African-Americans:  Older studies found higher rates of male-to-female partner violence (MFPV); recent studies have found higher rates of female-to-male partner violence (FMPV)

Psychological aggression reported at significantly higher rates than physical aggression

As with White populations, minor/moderate aggression far more prevalent among Black couples than severe aggression

In dating studies, no gender differences found in rates of physical or psychological victimization, but women reported higher rates of physical aggression than men

Latinos:  Mutual and minor/moderate PV most prevalent, but not as much as psychological aggression

No gender differences for physical or psychological aggression, except among migrant farm workers where MFPV was highest

Asian Americans:  The one general population study found percentage of mutual violence perpetration to be one-third of total

Overall rates of PV comparable across gender in large population, community and dating samples

Lowest rates found among Vietnamese, compared to respondents who identified as Filipino, Chinese or others of Asian descent

Native Americans:  Only three studies found; women reported higher rates of victimization than men, and reported higher levels of injuries incurred

Risk factors for ethnic minority PV include:  substance abuse, low SES, and violence exposure and victimization in childhood

LGBT populations:  Higher overall rates compared to heterosexual populations

Inconsistent findings regarding PV differences between same-sex subgroups

Risk factors for LGBT groups include discrimination and internalized homophobia

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Partner Abuse Worldwide

A total of 162 articles reporting on over 200 studies met the inclusion criteria and were summarized in the online tables for Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, and Europe and the Caucasus.

A total of 40 articles (73 studies) in 49 countries contained data on both male and female IPV, with a total of 117 direct comparisons across gender for physical PV.

Rates of physical PV were higher for female perpetration /male victimization compared to male perpetration/female victimization, or were the same, in 73 of those comparisons, or 62%.

There were 54 comparisons made for psychological abuse including controlling behaviors and dominance, with higher rates found for female perpetration /male victimization, in 36 comparisons (67%).

Of the 19 direct comparisons made for sexual PV, rates were found to be higher for female perpetration /male victimization in 7comparisons (37%).

When only adult samples from large population and community surveys were considered, the overall percentage of partner abuse that was higher for female perpetration /male victimization compared to male perpetration/female victimization, or were the same, was found to be 44% for adult IPV, although in many comparisons, the differences were slight.

Studies reporting on female victimization only found the lowest rates for physical abuse victimization in a large population study in Georgia (2%, past year), and the highest in a community survey in Ethiopia (72.5% past year) On the higher end, rates of physical PV far exceed the average found in the United States.

The lowest rates of psychological victimization were found in large population study in Haiti (10.8% past year); highest was 98.7% in Bangkok, Thailand (past year).

Unlike physical IPV, the highest rates of psychological abuse throughout the world are about the same as those found in the United States (80%).

Rates of sexual abuse victimization differed widely across regions, with rates as low as 1% in Georgia (past year); highest rates were found in a study of secondary school students in Ethiopia (68%, lifetime)

Physical injuries were compared across gender in two studies.  As expected, abused women were found to experience higher rates of physical injuries compared to men.

Far more frequently mentioned were the psychological and behavioral effects of abuse, and these included PTSD symptomology, stress, depression, irritability, feelings of shame and guilt, poor self-esteem, flashbacks, sexual dissatisfaction and unwanted sexual behavior, changes in eating behavior, and aggression.

Two studies compared mental health symptoms across gender.  In Botswana, women were found to evidence significantly more of these than men; whereas in a clinical study in Pakistan male and female IPV victims suffered equally (60% of men and women reported depression, 67% anxiety.)

A variety of health-related outcomes were also found to be associated with IPV victimization, including overall poor physical health, more long-term illnesses, having to take a larger number of prescribed drugs, STDs, and disturbed sleeping patterns.  Abused mothers experienced poorer reproductive health, respiratory infections, induced abortion and complications during pregnancy; and in a few studies their children were found to experience diarrhea, fever and prolonged coughing.

The most common risk factors found in this review of IPV in Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Latin America and Europe have also been found to be significant risk factors in the U.S. and other English-speaking industrialized nations.

Most often cited are the risk factors related to low income household income and victim/perpetrator unemployment, at 36.  An almost equally high number of studies (35) reported victim’s low education level.  Alcohol and substance abuse by the perpetrator was a risk factor in 26 studies.  Family of origin abuse, whether directly experienced or witnessed, was cited in 18 studies.  Victim’s younger age was also a major risk factor, mentioned in 17 studies, and perpetrator’s low education level was mentioned in 16.

In contrast to the U.S., there is a much higher tolerance by both men and women for IPV in other parts of the world, with rates of approval depending on the country and the type of justification.

Regression analyses indicated that a country’s level of human development (as measured by HDI)  was not a significant predictor of male or female physical partner abuse perpetration.

Additional regression analyses indicated that a nation’s gender inequality level, as measured by the Gender Inequality Index (GII), was not predictive of either male or female perpetrated physical partner abuse or female-only victimization in studies conducted with general population or community samples.

Separate regression analyses on data from the IDVS with dating samples indicate that higher gender inequality levels significantly predict higher prevalence of male and female physical partner abuse perpetration. GII level explained the variance for 17% of male partner abuse and 19% of female partner abuse perpetration.

A final analysis examined the association between dominance by one partner and partner violence perpetrated against a partner in dating samples using data from the IDVS. Male dominance scores were not found to be predictive of male partner violence perpetration; however, female dominance scores explained 47% of the variance of female partner violence perpetration.

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Facts and Statistics on The Role of Law Enforcement and the Criminal Justice System

The Crime Control Effects of Criminal Sanctions

Possible causal mechanisms for the effectiveness of arrest and prosecution:  fear of sanctions and victim empowerment; however, because none of the reviewed studies adequately measure such mechanisms, review assumes a general crime control effect that is neutral about causal mechanisms

“Based upon the analyses and conclusions produced by these studies, we find that the most frequent outcome reported is that sanctions that follow an arrest for IPV have no effect on the prevalence of subsequent offending.  Among the minority of reported analyses that do report a statistically significant effect, two-thirds of the published findings show sanctions are associated with reductions in repeat offending and one third show sanctions are associated with increased repeat offending.”

Wide range of recidivism from 3.1% to 65.5% , due to high variability in measures of repeat offending (e.g., follow-up time frame)

Studies unclear about then exact nature of the sentence imposed, and what constitutes a “prosecution” or “conviction”

Diversity of analytic methods hinder analysis of effect sizes

Sample selection bias:  None of the studies address this issue; for instance, if a small number of low-risk cases are prosecuted, prosecuted offenders are more likely to re-offend compared to those not prosecuted, because of the selection process

Missing data:  Often leads to cases being dropped from a study, which in turns creates sample bias

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Gender and Racial/Ethnic Differences in Criminal Justice Decision Making

Female arrests affected by high SES, presence of weapons and witnesses

Women more likely than men to be cited rather than be taken into custody, but the gender discrepancy is less when a decision is made on whether to file charges as misdemeanors or felonies

Men are more likely than women to be convicted and to be given harsher sentences

“Males were consistently treated more severely at every stage of the prosecution process, particularly regarding the decision to prosecute, even when controlling for other variables (e.g., the presence of physical injuries) and when examined under different conditions.”

No conclusive evidence of discrimination against ethnic minority groups in either arrest, prosecution and sentencing

Dual arrests were more likely in same-sex couples compared to heterosexual couples, perhaps due to incorrect assumption by police that same-sex couples more likely to engage in mutual violence.

Protective orders far more likely to be granted, and with more restrictions to women than to men (particularly in cases involving less severe abuse histories)

Mock juries more likely to assign blame responsibility to male perpetrators in contrast to female perpetrators, even when presented with identical scenarios

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Effectiveness, Victim Safety, Characteristics and Enforcement of Protective Orders

A large percentage of women who are issued protective orders (POs) tend to be unemployed or under-employed as income ranged between $10,000 to $15,000, and almost 50% of women are financially dependent on their partners.

At least half of women obtaining POs are married, and married women are more likely to stay with their abusers and be pregnant.

Women who are issued POs tend to have more mental health issues (i.e., depression, PTSD) and rural women tend to experience more abuse and mental health issues than urban women

Only a few studies have examined characteristics of men seeking a PO

 “Effectiveness” defined as violations of protective orders (POs) and/or re-victimization

Some studies have found POs to reduce violence against victims, with an almost 80% reduction in violence reported to police

Victims report feeling safer and having greater psychological well-being after obtaining a protective order; still, POs violated at a rate of between 44% to 70%

Nearly 60% of women who had secured a PO reported to have subsequently been stalked

Severity of criminal charges on the offender, as well as previous violations, best predictors of new PO violations

Although there is no significant difference in the amount of abuse suffered by married and unmarried victims, married victims less likely to seek final protective orders, perhaps because they are more likely to be re-victimized

Women granted POs at significantly higher rates than men, especially in cases involving lower level violence

No gender differences in the enforcement of POs, and no differences in rates of recidivism 

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Facts and Statistics on Assessment and Treatment

Risk Assessment

Little agreement in the literature with regard to the most appropriate approach (actuarial, structured clinical judgment) nor which specific measure has the strongest empirical validation behind it, leaving clinicians and policy makers with little clear guidance

Review yielded studies reporting on the validity and reliability of eight IPV specific actuarial instruments and three general actuarial risk assessment measures.

Range of area under the curve (AUC) values reported for the validity of the Ontario Domestic Assault Risk Assessment (ODARA) predicting recidivism was good to excellent (0.64 – 0.77)

The single study that reported on the Domestic Violence Risk Appraisal Guide (DVRAG) reported an AUC = 0.70 (p < .001). The inter-rater reliability for both instruments was excellent

The Domestic Violence Screening Inventory (DVSI) and Domestic Violence Screening Inventory – Revised (DVSI-R) were found to be good predictors of new family violence incidents and IPV recurrence (AUC range 0.61 – 0.71)

Three studies examined the Psychopathy Checklist – Revised (PCL-R) and Violence Risk Appraisal Guide (VRAG), neither of which are IPV specific, reporting AUCs ranging from 0.66 – 0.71 and 0.67 – 0.75, respectively.

The Level of Service Inventory – Revised (LSI-R) and Level of Service Inventory – Ontario Revision (LSI-OR) were discussed in four articles, reporting two AUC values of 0.50 and 0.73, both of which were predicting IPV recidivism

Two structured professional judgment instruments were included in the review, the Spousal Assault Risk Assessment guide (SARA) and the Brief Spousal Assault Form for the Evaluation of Risk (B-SAFER. The SARA research reports nine AUCs ranging from 0.52-0.65. The interrater reliability (IRR) for the SARA was excellent for total scores, good for the summary risk ratings, and poor for the critical items. Although neither of the articles examining the B-SAFER reported the predictive validity of the instrument one did report the IRR based on 12 cases with a mean interclass coefficient (ICC) of 0.57.

The Danger Assessment (DA) has the largest body of literature behind it, but there are limitations in the research that inhibit a clear determination of the psychometric properties of the measure, thus far. Victim appraisals of the risk of future IPV show some evidence of predictive accuracy; however, further research is needed to determine the best means with which to collect the victim’s reports and determining the conditions (e.g., stalking) and characteristics of victims that should be considered (e.g., PTSD, substance use).

Overall, the literature reveals moderate postdictive/predictive accuracy across measures with little evidence to support one as being highly superior to others, particularly given the heterogeneity of perpetrators and victims, study limitations, and the small body of empirical literature to date.

Several themes emerged when we examined the synthesized literature: (1) There is a relatively small body of empirical evidence evaluating IPV violence risk assessment measures. (2) The need for continued advancements in the methodological rigor of the research including prospective studies, research that compares multiple measures within single studies, and research that uses large samples and appropriate outcome indicators. In terms of clinical implications, the review demonstrates the considerable promise of several IPV risk assessment measures but generally reveals modest postdictive/predictive accuracy for most measures.

Victim appraisals, while the research has a considerable ways to go, were found to have clinical relevance. However, preliminary evidence suggests that clinicians may want to be particularly cautious when working with some sub-groups when taking into account victims’ perceptions (e.g., PTSD symptoms, substance use, stalking and severe abuse experienced) and supplement the woman’s input with an additional structured assessment.

When clinicians and administrators are faced with the challenge of determining which measure(s) to use to assess risk of IPV they should carefully consider the purpose of the assessment (Heilbrun, 2009). Assessors also should take into account the context, setting, and resources when evaluating which measure best suits their needs.

Consideration must be given to the characteristics of the population to be assessed (e.g., age, gender, ethnicity, socio-economic status) and the extent to which a measure has been cross-validated in similar samples is required

Assessors need to be clear about the outcome of concern (verbal abuse, physical abuse, severe violence, stalking, femicide) and knowledgeable about relevant base rates

Based on the available literature, we are also unable to provide guidance on the clinical relevance and utility of these instruments with female perpetrators, male victims, and in same-sex relationships due to the lack of studies using relevant populations.

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Effectiveness of Primary Prevention Efforts

All studies incorporated a curriculum-based intervention, with the primary goal of lowering rates of PV

Schools provided the setting for two-thirds of the interventions; the rest were conducted in community settings

Of the five most methodologically-sound school based studies, only one, the Safe Dates Program, found a clear-cut positive outcome on PV behavior (emotional abuse, mild physical abuse and sexual coercion)

In contrast, each of the five most methodologically-sound community-based studies was deemed effective in reducing PV; among them were two interventions targeting couples and one family-based intervention involving parents and their adolescent children

Although outcomes are mixed, especially for the school-based studies, and no studies were replicated, the authors suggest that “because prevention is generally cost-effective, programming is badly needed to prevent IPV before it begins.”

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Effectiveness of Intervention Programs for Perpetrators and Victims

Authors reviewed studies all utilized either a randomized or quasi-experimental design

Mixed evidence for the effectiveness of perpetrator interventions

Evidence that group or couples format can be effective, but many studies flawed

More promising results for programs with alternative content (e.g., programs that encourage a strong therapist-client relationship and group cohesion, use some form of Motivational Interviewing technique)

Inconsistent effects for brief interventions

Structured interventions found to reduce rates of re-victimization compared to no-treatment controls when they include supportive advocacy

Cognitive-behavioral treatment (CBT) most effective in reducing the deleterious effects of PV on victims and enhancing their emotional functioning

Little evidence to indicate the superiority of one type of intervention over another. Thus, there is no empirical justification for agencies, state organizations, judges, mental health professionals, or others involved in improving the lives of those impacted by IPV to limit the type of services offered to clients, or to restrict the theoretical and ideological underpinnings of such methods.

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Despite mentally-ill, fanatical ideologues claiming otherwise, domestic violence is not gendered. And they have literally no evidence to the contrary.

[ukrfeminism]

At least 350 women have been killed by a man since the murder of Sarah Everard – the equivalent of one woman dying every three days, The Independent can reveal.

Frustrated experts said the government is still failing to protect women as the sobering new figures came to light on the third anniversary of Ms Everard’s kidnap and murder by a serving police officer.

Her death was hailed as a watershed moment which sparked an outpouring of anger over women’s safety and shone a light on the epidemic of violence against women and girls.

But campaigners have said promises to tackle the crisis were “empty words” as they warned: “So much more needs to be done.”

The figures, shared with The Independent by the Femicide Census, showed at least 350 women have died with a man responsible or a principal suspect since Ms Everard’s death on 3 March 2021.

“That’s an average of one woman dead at the hands of a man every three days,” executive director Dr Karen Ingala Smith said.

Of these, eight in ten had a relationship with their killer, with 43 per cent killed by a former or current partner, 12 per cent by a family member, 15 per cent by a man who knew them.

Around 28 women – which accounts for eight per cent of cases – were killed by a stranger, like Ms Everard.

She added: “The figure of eight per cent of women killed by men in the UK being killed by a stranger is consistent with the average since our records began in 2009. So ask me whether anything has changed since Sarah’s murder, and my answer is no.”

The figures come after an inquiry into Ms Everard’s killer Wayne Couzens uncovered an astonishing string of blunders in the recruitment of the predator to the Metropolitan Police and eight missed opportunities to stop him in his tracks.

The 33-year-old marketing executive was walking home in Clapham, south London, when she was tricked by Couzens, who falsely arrested her before driving to Kent where he raped and strangled before dumping her burnt body in a woodland.

In the aftermath of her death, thousands of grieving women gathered for a vigil at Clapham Common calling for action to prevent to male violence against women and, simply, the right to walk home safely.

Anna Birley, co-founder of vigil organisers Reclaim These Streets, told The Independent: “We were promised that tackling violence against women and girls would be a priority for this government, but these figures show that this was all empty words.

“Women are still being murdered by men, demand for domestic violence services remains at record highs and rapes are still going unprosecuted.

“By failing to grasp the scale of the problem and failing to take meaningful action to keep us safe, this Government is failing women.”

Andrea Simon, director of the End Violence Against Women Coalition (EVAW), said each of the 350 women who have lost their lives in the last three years have been failed by society.

“While we’ve heard lots of promises and seen top level commitments to tackling violence against women in the last three years, there is so much more that needs to be done,” she told The Independent.

“There is a failure to prioritise preventing violence in all the work promised to tackle it. We need to see the police response to all forms of abuse improve, with better detection, early intervention, and protective steps taken when women report violence to reduce the risk of femicide.

“Police and justice agencies must take action to stop known perpetrators from frequently re-offending against women and girls.

“We must also see work to shift attitudes across society, including the sexism and male entitlement that drives violence against women and sees it normalised and trivialised.”

This starts with high quality education and well-funded public information campaigns, she said, adding: “Until we tackle harmful attitudes and the inequality that puts women and girls in harm’s way, we won’t be able to improve women’s feelings of safety and freedom.”

The calls come after this week Labour MP Jess Phillips read out the names of every woman killed last year in House of Commons, warning the “epidemic of violence against women and girls has not abated”.

She said: “All of these women mattered, they need to matter much more to politics. And I urge again, as I have for years, for the Government to have a strategy for reducing femicide. Warm words and no political priority will never make this list shorter.”

It is the ninth year that the MP has read victims’ names to the chamber, adding each life lost was a testament to failure to prioritise women’s safety.

She added: “I am tired that women’s safety matters so much less in this place than small boats. I am tired of fighting for systematic change and being given table scraps.

“Never again do I want to hear a politician say that lessons will be learned from abject failure - it is not true.

“This list is no longer just a testament to these women’s lives, it is a testament to our collective failure.”

Jhiselle Feanny, co-founder of Killed Women - a campaign group of families bereaved by male violence against women, described the latest figures as “devastating”.

She said: “Each represents a life brutally taken. And a family facing the unimaginable, their whole world destroyed.  “Three years, so many lives, endless announcements, headlines, reviews, reports and lessons learned. And yet here we are, listening to the latest death toll read out in Parliament.”

She said attacks on women were “preventable crimes” after a survey of bereaved families last year found almost seven in ten believed their loved ones’ death was preventable, while two thirds said the killer had a prior history of violence.

“These deaths and injustices are not inevitable. The murders of women are not unavoidable tragedies, but preventable crimes,” Ms Feanny added.

“We urgently need decision and policy makers to act, so women can live free from fear, threat and violence.”

A government spokesperson said: “We are committed to tackling violence against women and improving the police response to these vile crimes. We have classified it as national threat alongside other threats such as terrorism and introduced the first ever dedicated national policing lead.

“The Angiolini inquiry has looked into issues around police culture and the government will continue to work with police partners to ensure that proper standards are upheld at all times.”

[majchic]

[coochiequeens]

"The Femicide Census, co-founded by Clarrie O’Callaghan and Karen Ingala Smith, records the death of every woman killed by a man in England and Wales. The number of women killed by sons has shown a steady and alarming rise since 2016, after decades of remaining stable. The number of grandmothers killed by grandsons has also risen. While younger women are more at risk of being killed by a partner or ex-partner, it is women in their 60s and older who are risk from their older sons and grandsons.

In the census’s 10-year report (2009-2018) 109 (8%) of the total of 1,435 women killed by men were mothers killed by sons while 11 grandmothers were killed by grandsons over the decade. In the latest Femicide Census statistics shared exclusively with the Observer, which is campaigning to end femicide, in 2020, the figure for matricide is 15% – 14 killings of mothers and five of grandmothers in a single year with 28 cases in which the relationship is not yet known."

Wonderful news!

Here's the link:

[there-are-4-lights]

So Eventbrite pulled the event for the book launch of Karen Ingala Smith's book "Defending Women's Spaces" .

Proving the point lol.

New sign up link

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

Exciting news from Karen Ingala-Smith - who you might know as the woman who keeps the UK’s femicide census.

[coochiequeens]

Finally a parent of a trans person has written a column about how the trans cult embraces a victim mentality

Over the past two years, as the entire world became paralysed by a deadly new pandemic, an altogether different ‘epidemic’ was silently ripping through one of the West’s most marginalised communities. Last year, we’re told, was the ‘deadliest’ year for transgender people since records began. With the situation so grave, is it any surprise that last November, on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, a long list of public and private organisations in the UK lined up to pay homage to trans murder victims?

As the mother of a son who identifies as part of the transgender community,1 the prospect of there being an epidemic of trans murders holds an added weight: is my son’s life in danger? Should I be beside myself with worry when he travels to work, let alone when goes out to a gig at a weekend? Suffice it to say that this is not an issue that I can afford to take lightly.

Facts always matter — but they take on a particular importance when they’re being used to claim that your child could be murdered. So I decided to delve into the research used to inform these claims. For me, it was personal.

The Government doesn’t publish data on the number of transgender people in the UK, though in 2018 it “tentatively” estimated that the figure stood between “approximately 200,000-500,000”. What proportion of that number must have been killed to warrant today’s warnings of trans murder epidemic? 10? 100? 1,000?

To find out, I analysed data collected by the trans-led organisation Transgender Europe, which has received more than a million dollars from the Arcus Foundation, who are based in the US and take a keen interest in transgender issues. As well as donating almost $150,000 to Stonewall, in 2015 the Arcus Foundation handed $312,000 to Transgender Europe specifically to supply reliable global data on transgender murders. The website it created provides an interactive map and links to documents naming the transgender victims.

Looking at Transgender Europe’s list of cases, it became clear — to my relief — that  the total murders reported for the United Kingdom since 2008 amounted to 11. This translates as a murder rate of around 0.165%.

Now, that is still significantly higher than the murder rate for the UK as a whole: the ONS reports that the homicide rate in the UK for the year ending March 2020 was 11.7 per million people, rising to 17 per million among men. But look a bit closer at the list of trans murder victims, and that figure of 11 becomes increasingly suspect.

For instance, two of the listed victims, Vikki Thompson and Jacqueline Cowdry, appear to have been erroneously included. Thompson died by suicide while incarcerated in HMP Leeds, while Cowdry’s death was ultimately ruled as non-suspicious. This reduces the total to nine unlawful deaths, all of whom were born male. (By contrast, the number of homicidescommitted by transgender people between 2008 and 2017 was 12.) For context, the number of women killed by men during the same period was 1800. So much for our alleged “cis-privilege”.

Searching for more information led me to the work of Karen Ingala-Smith, who founded the Counting Dead Women project in 2012 after she realised that there was no central record of the extent of femicide here in the UK; thanks to her, a list of murdered women is read out in the House of Commons each year to imprint the rate of femicide on the minds our political class. Ingala-Smith’s tireless work focusses on female victims of, predominantly, male violence, though she made an exception to highlight the discrepancy between the mass hysteria about transgender victims of homicide compared to the treatment of woman-killing as mere background noise. (There is still no equivalent to the Trans Day of Remembrance for the much greater number of women killed by male violence.)

Crucially, her research sheds a vital spotlight on the nine remaining victims identified by the Trans Murder Monitoring report. Reading it, two things become clear. The first is that it is not entirely certain that all the victims themselves identified with the label “transgender”. The second is that the motives behind these crimes are more complex than straightforward “transphobia”.

Three of the nine victims were murdered by a violent punter while working as prostitutes; another was killed by their husband, who lived on her earnings from prostitution. Another of the victims died at the hands of someone who was also trans-identifying. Another was a gay man who cross-dressed occasionally, and the motive for the murder has been ascribed to both transphobia and homophobia. Two of the murders were linked to drug use.

In other words, despite the way their deaths are often framed in the media and by activists, the large majority of these trans victims were not killed simply for being trans. Almost half appear to involve prostitution — a fact that has been quietly brushed under the carpet.

Nor is this wilful misunderstanding confined to the UK: according to global statistics, 58% of transgender murder victims were born male and work in prostitution. It seems remarkable, then, that “Trans women are women” and “Sex work is work” remain two of the most heavily promoted mantras in trans-activist circles. Indeed, a number of role models in the trans community go as far to claim that it was only because of prostitution that they were able to afford their treatment and surgeries.

Take, for example, trans activist Janet Mock, who has described how the “sex trade becomes a road well-travelled, helping trans women alleviate financial woes while also making many of us feel desired as women”. To be fair to Mock, she has also spoken publicly about the dangers of engaging in prostitution, emphasising the impacts of economic coercion, sexual abuse and trafficking on the trans community. She has also highlighted how prostitution is heavily racialised, with black and Latino communities making up a disproportionate number of transgender “sex workers”.

For reasons of sexual politics, I do not use the phrase “sex work” on the basis that the inside of our bodies, be they male or female, is not a legitimate place of work. That isn’t to say that I believe we should reprimand former prostitutes, or those still engaged in prostitution, for using this phrase. I know of former prostituted women who say this description was a survival strategy and allowed them to distance themselves from their experience.

But that doesn’t make the phrase helpful — especially when used to describe transgender people. In recent years, the fetishisation of the transgender body has come increasingly into focus: PornHub’s annualreport for 2021 — yes, they do an annual report! — showed there had been a 126% increase for porn searches using “trans”. There is clearly a “market” for trans-identified sex acts; and paired with the vulnerability of trans people to violence and murder while engaged in prostitution, the association of trans activism with “sex work” becomes even more dangerous.

Presented in this light, it seems obvious to me that we need to rethink the accepted narrative around transgender murder rates, regurgitated with monotonous regularity by both politicians and the media. For example, rather than holding vigils, those concerned with the tragic deaths of transgender people would do better to watch The Sex Map of Britain, a BBC documentary that follows two young men who were both homosexual and rejected by their family. In one of the most heart-breaking scenes, Mia, now a transgender escort, is brought to tears when talking about maternal rejection for the crime of being gay. Later Mia seeks reassurance from a client that they enjoy each other’s company. The punter answers that he does not want to cause offence, but he is only there because of the sex on offer. In another scene, Mia talks about hoping to find love in sex filmed for pornography.

It pains me to say it, but I see my son in Mia, and of one thing I am certain: looking for love, validation and self-worth in porn and prostitution won’t help him. Likewise, pretending that there’s a trans murder epidemic, when incidents are isolated and largely confined to prostitution, is equally unhelpful and even dangerous — not just to people like my son, but to the women whose murders are quietly forgotten in favour of performative headlines about an ‘epidemic’ that doesn’t exist.

FOOTNOTES My son uses the pronouns associated with his sex. I have chosen to remain anonymous to protect his identity.

[monkeyspawnskydiamond]

Stream of Consciousness: Gender  by V

“It's about men preserving the power imbalance.”

Comment by Mancheeze  on “Thomas Mulcair & the NDP respond to open letter about Bill C-36”  by Meghan Murphy - Feminist Current

“All oppressed people must be controlled. Since open force and economic coercion are practical only part of the time, ideology--that is, internalized oppression, the voice in the head--is brought in to fill the gap.”

Joanna Russ, “Power and Helplessness in the Women's Movement” - feminist reprise

“What those in power ‘like’ to see are the characteristics of willing slaves.”

Dumby, “Blackface & Drag” - A FreudianNightmare

“The game is rigged against us — it’s designed to control us.”

 Jindi Mehat, Let yourself go - Feminist Current

“I think that most people are ignorant of the system of male-supremacy, because it’s like how a fish is ignorant of the existence of water. We’re just swimming in it.”

MaryLou Singleton in an interview, “Are we women or are we incubators? An interview with MaryLou Singleton” - Feminist Current 

“our understanding of ‘sex’ is extremely heteronormative”

Meghan Murphy, “Can 'maintenance sex' ever be gender neutral?” - Feminist Current

“Gender is the rulebook of femininity and masculinity.”

Antilla Dean, Trying to understand radfems - Antilla Dean Tumblr

“a synthetic ideology cruelly imposed on sex”

Aoife, Who’s Afraid of Germaine Greer - aoifeschatology

“part of the systematic socialization process that defines what it means to be women and men in our society.”

Laura Kamienski, For Us: Feminism in Defense of Women-only Spaces - kicks4women

 “it is one of patriarchy’s best tools for maintaining inequality and the illusion that inequality between the sexes is natural and inevitable.”

Karen Ingala Smith, “Feminism: Nope, it’s still neither for nor about men” - Karen Ingala Smith

By definition there can be no such thing as “gender equality” because gender is a construct which divides human beings into a hierarchy where men are superior and women are inferior. ... that’s the function it serves in society: to classify human beings into two categories, one which is active, aggressive, empowered, and another which is passive, surrendering and disempowered.

Francois Tremblay, “What the fuck is ‘gender equality’?” - The Prime Directive

“Gender equality is an oxymoron, gender is inequality.”

Karen Ingala Smith, “Feminism: Nope, it’s still neither for nor about men” - Karen Ingala Smith

“From the beginning of patriarchy, every philosophical system has defined women as inferior and marginal.”

Anna Djinn, The Creation of Feminist Consciousness by Gerda Lerner - The Feministahood

“The emotional, sexual and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says ‘It’s a girl.”

Shirley Chisholm

“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.”

Stevie Nicks

“the Feminine Imperative allows of no self-help at all”

Joanna Russ, “Power and Helplessness in the Women's Movement” - feminist reprise

 “It’s always supposed to be women who care – who do those labours of love”

 Sarah Ditum, “Expanded bumholes, unexpanded minds” - Paperhouse

“we are confronted, bombarded! with an insidious cultural narrative that assures us that ‘She’ exists for the pleasure of others.”

katedrury, “There are things we can do to help STOP THE VIOLENCE”. - REAL for women 

“We’re so uncomfortable with female power that we fight it on the smallest scales.”

 Monica Potts, “Why Women's Colleges Still Matter in the Age of Trans Activism” - New Republic

“women are socialized through gender to be docile, to put everyone else’s needs first, to not trust ourselves”

MaryLou Singleton in an interview, “Are we women or are we incubators? An interview with MaryLou Singleton” - Feminist Current

“women judge success in women to be the worst sin, women force women to be "unselfish," women would rather be dead than strong, rather helpless than happy.”

Joanna Russ, “Power and Helplessness in the Women's Movement” - feminist reprise

“Compliance and obedience became virtues for women while for men, who took charge of all aspects of life, both within and outside of the home, masculinity itself was the virtue.”

 SueVeneer, “Real men. Really?” - hrimfaxi

“If you've been forbidden the use of your own power for your own self, you can give up your power or you can give up your self. If you're effective, you must be so for others but never for yourself (that would be ‘selfish’). If you're allowed to feel and express needs, you must be powerless to do anything about them and can only wait for someone else--a man, an institution, a strong woman--to do it for you.”

Joanna Russ, “Power and Helplessness in the Women's Movement” - feminist reprise

“In fairytales, the savior is always male and the distressed is always female.”

Nafiza, “Beauty and The Brave... ~ from Nafiza” - The Book Rat

“Being ‘feminine’ supposedly means hiding behind a man and ‘letting him handle things.”

Comment by sepultura13 on “Part 2: Healing from Abuse Is Unfeminine (So You Must Really Be a Man” by lovinglilystevens  -  loving lily

“There's a phenomena of ‘keeping women down on a pedestal’: you will see a lot of ‘reverence’ for women who fulfill their roles as subservient to males well ...I've never seen that translate into treating women like equals or human beings, especially if she does such "unwomanly" things as protest against abuse.”

C.K.Egbert to Jessica on “A 'war' on the police? How about the war on women and other marginalized groups?” - Feminist Current 

“Men have fought to maintain the status quo and have resisted women’s attempts to correct the imbalance.”

Anna Djinn, The Creation of Feminist Consciousness by Gerda Lerner - The Feministahood

“Women who do not perform femininity correctly themselves, as well as women who dare to suggest that femininity is in and of itself an expression of the hatred of women, face repercussions.”

Dumby, “Blackface & Drag” - A FreudianNightmare

“Femininity is ritualized submission, a set of culturally enforced behaviors created by men to make obvious the division of power in society.”

Jonah Mix (lonesomeyoghurt), Sorry, Dudes: Exclusion from Femininity is Privilege, Not Oppression - Gender Detective

“The reason that femininity is held in contempt is because it was engineered to make females seem contemptible, justifying male dominance.”

Aurora Linnea, “Reclaiming femininity, crippling feminism” - Feminist Current

“It was in men’s interest to keep women in the place they defined for them. Men understood this. Men needed women to believe in their inferiority.”

Anna Djinn, The Creation of Feminist Consciousness by Gerda Lerner - The Feministahood

“Our society runs on self-aggrandizement for men and self-abasement for women”

Joanna Russ, “Power and Helplessness in the Women's Movement” - feminist reprise

“Social oppression becomes institutionalized when its enforcement is so of social life that it is not easily identified as oppression and does not require conscious prejudice or overt acts of discrimination.”

Michael Laxer, “Part of the problem: Talking about systemic oppression” - Feminist Current

“The real brilliance of patriarchy is right here: it doesn’t just naturalize oppression, it sexualizes acts of oppression. It eroticizes domination and subordination and then institutionalizes them into masculinity and femininity.”

Lierre Keith, “The Girls and the Grasses” - Radfem Repost

“in patriarchal society, both men and women eroticize hierarchy, ‘variously socially coded as heterosexuality’s male/female, lesbian culture’s butch/femme, and sadomasochism’s top/bottom.’26 The hierarchical dynamics of heterosexuality are the easiest of these to see.”

Freya Brown, “Let’s Talk About ‘Consent’ - Anti-Imperialsim.com

 “how to act like a man neatly maps onto how to act like a dom, and how to act like a woman neatly maps onto how to act like a sub. In this way, heterosexual M/f couples (male dominant, female submissive) wherein the man is a sadist (enjoys giving pain), and the female a masochist (enjoys receiving pain) can easily perform their two roles flawlessly at the same time. This is exemplified by the wildly popular Fifty Shades of Grey. “

Dev quoted by maymay, “The BDSM Scene is an abusive social institution; let their world burn (they’re doing it already)”- Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed

“Men become real men by breaking boundaries—the sexual boundaries of women and children, the cultural and political boundaries of indigenous people, the biological boundaries of rivers and forests, the genetic boundaries of other species, and the physical boundaries of the atom itself. The sadist is rewarded with money and power, but he also gets a sexual thrill from dominating. And the end of the world is a mass circle jerk of autoerotic asphyxiation.”

Lierre Keith, “The Girls and the Grasses” - Radfem Repost

“Studies have found that men get anywhere from 10% to 25% of full erection (on average) from seeing non-sexual violence (Earls and Proulx 1987, Barbaree et al. 1979). While rapists show a higher level of arousal, any man can experience it. So men get some sexual charge from the idea of violence against women. This is not an issue of conscious decision (arousal rarely is), but rather an issue of indoctrination.”

Francois Tremblay, “Male entitlement as a cause of mass violence” -  The Prime Directive

“Male dominance is not ‘society,’ and male violence is not ‘human nature.”

Carolyn Gage, ‘Bowling for Columbine-Michael Moore Off-Target’

“So fuck this bullshit BDSM rhetoric”

Meghan Murphy, “The media keeps referring to Ghomeshi's abuse as 'non-consensual' like that's a thing” - Feminist Current 

“One could also argue that patriarchy demands not just "giving into a base nature", but the artificial creation and enforcement of a bad nature to give into”

ThrupennyBit, Nightmare Dystopian Present (Why Lionel Shriver Is Wrong About Rape) Everyday Victim Blaming 

“Threat of male violence alters you whether you want it to or not. Men know this, because we do it to each other. Fear being yourself. Don’t make yourself a target. Women know this very well.”

Miriam Afloat, “Body Acceptance” - Miriam Afloat

“There is a toxic dynamic between male entitlement and masculinity: male entitlement is the carrot, the incentive for men to invest themselves more and more into the gender system, and masculinity is the stick, because it provides the threat of ‘not being a real man’.”

Francois Tremblay, “Male entitlement as a cause of mass violence” -  The Prime Directive

“Men, generally speaking, are afraid of other men thinking they are gay.”

Miriam Afloat, “Restroom Risk: a Patriarchal Reversal” - Miriam Afloat

“The purpose of homophobia is to ensure that gay men are bullied into rejecting any sexual expression that undermines male power.”

Christopher N Kendall, “Little Sisters, LEAF and the Sexism That Is Gay Male Pornography: A Gay Male Defends ‘Equality Now”

“the first rule of masculinity is that whatever he is, women are not”  

Andrea Dworkin, ‘Pornography: Men Possessing Women’

There were many behaviors I censored in childhood when I learned they invoked negative reactions in others 

Miriam Afloat, “The Re-Transing of Male Miriam” - Miriam Afloat 

“there have been so many times I have see a man wanting to weep but  instead beat his heart until it was  unconscious”

Nayyirah Waheed

‘As the status of women was so low, there was nothing as bad as being considered feminine or to display what were considered feminine characteristics, such as tenderness and empathy.’

SueVeneer, “Real men. Really?” - hrimfaxi

“Homosocial bonding through misogyny is a well known behaviour ... Misogyny seems to be the safest way for hetero men to come together since gender forbids them normal relationships.”

House Mouse Queen , “Weekend Open Thread” - Mancheeze

“Fighting is a masculine act which proves one’s ‘manhood,”

Miriam Afloat, “Restroom Risk: a Patriarchal Reversal” - Miriam Afloat 

“Recently, an arms manufacturer ran an advertisement showing an AR-15 rifle jutting out with phallic pride beneath the text, “Consider Your Man Card Reissued.” The message underlies a basic truth about what it means to be a man: You are at once inescapably male, yet in danger of losing your manhood. Life as a man is a struggle to earn what you cannot escape.”

Jonah Mix (lonesomeyoghurt), The Body and the Lie – Queer Theory’s False Promise - Gender Detective

“Do you want your son to kick or be kicked? ... It’s not just men feeling terrified of women and girls are encroaching on “their” space. It’s men knowing that letting go of an immoral, unjustifiable dominance puts them at greater risk of those who are still clinging on to it.”

glosswitch, “Male violence is a greater threat to our sons – so why are we so over-protective with daughters?” - New Statesman

“Young men are socialized to understand power over women is an unspoken but real part of this exchange. “

  Ernesto Aguilar, “Of monsters and men” - Feminist Current

“Rape was used as a means by which to humiliate African men, who were powerless to protect their wives, mothers and daughters.”

Monique, “A Big Butt Girl’s Frustration with Big Butts” - JUST ADD COLOR

“In a world in which so many of us are powerless, I came up among men who believed such hallmarks of manhood made us strong. Yet these things never changed our economic and emotional poverty.”

 Ernesto Aguilar, “Of monsters and men” - Feminist Current

“He seems to see himself as somehow feminised and disempowered. The way he seems to deal with this is to seek to control and abuse women – he's empowered by that and it reasserts his idea of masculinity."

Chris Johnson,  “How Adrian Bayley was transformed from cocky and arrogant to a whimpering, emasculated shell of a man” - The Age 

“hyper-sexualisation and objectification of girls on the one hand, and hyper- masculinisation of boys on the other, perpetuate and reinforce each other.”

 Dr Linda Papadopoulos,  Foreward in “Sexualisation of Young People” (Review)

 “Society doesn’t teach us toxic ideas about manhood. It teaches us a toxic idea called manhood”

Jonah Mix (lonesomeyoghurt), “Mass Shooters Don’t Have a ‘Warped View’ of Masculinity - Liberal Man Do” - Gender Detective 

“sustaining an ‘us against them’ attitude.”

Emma-Li Thompson, “Pornography: The Normalization of Violence and Abuse” - AntiPornography.org 

“manhood isn’t in crisis; it is the crisis”

Zach Stafford, “It's time to do away with the concept of 'manhood' altogether” - The Guardian  http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/29/time-to-do-away-with-manhood

“The men most likely to enact violence are, I strongly suspect, also the ones most likely to be in fear of having their masculinity questioned.”

Miriam Afloat, “Restroom Risk: a Patriarchal Reversal” - Miriam Afloat

“Masculinity ... depends on reducing other people to objects.”

glosswitch, It's extreme masculinity – not love or despair – that drives a father to kill his children - New Statesman

“Objectification is not natural. Men are socialized to sexualize women's bodies and fetishize women's bodies. All you have to do is look at other cultures. In the west, for example, women's breasts and buttocks are sexualized. In China they used to see women's feet as sexual so they practiced foot-binding. In some cultures women's necks are fetishized. There are cultures in which women's breasts are not sexualized and are seen as just a normal non-sexual part of women's bodies”

 Comment by EEU to David on “Ghomeshi played the role of a feminist ally, but in private he was fully enmeshed in porn culture” by Gail Dines - Feminist Current 

“The association of men with lust is as much an artifact of recent times as the association of girls with pink and boys with blue (less than 100 years ago, this system of gendered color-coding was also reversed). Yet even with all this switching-around, some things have stayed suspiciously the same. When women were sexual, their proper place was in the home as caregivers and mothers. When women became passionless, their proper place was still in the home as caregivers and mothers.”

Alyssa Goldstein, “When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men - And how the stereotype flipped”  -  Alternet 

“we are biologically too good, too bad, or too different to do anything other than reproduce and serve men sexually and domestically.”

Andrea Dworkin, “Biological Superiority: The World's Most Dangerous and Deadly Idea”,  ‘Letters From A Warzone: Writings 1976 - 1989‘

“Every patriarchal society has different tools to subjugate women, and every patriarchal society will go out of its way to pretend its favored method is not only acceptable, but positive. Men who mutilate the breasts of preteen girls in Cameroon justify their abuse by recasting it as a measure of protection against lustful suitors. Men who murder their own daughters for having sex will tell you they do so to protect women’s honor. And men who film women’s abuse for other men’s pleasure proudly announce they’re doing their part to end rape.”

Jonah Mix (lonesomeyoghurt), “Does Porn Cause Rape?’ Is a Stupid, Meaningless Question” - Gender Detective

“Gender is malleable, because it is a pretense.”

augustuscarmichael, “Man celebrates death of Women’s Studies Programs” - Hypotaxis

“we live in a society organized around a hierarchy of the sexes, where males violently subordinate females and oppress us on the basis of our female sex.”

Next Years Girl as quoted in “QotD: ‘Part of that oppression is the construction of femininity” - Anti-Porn Feminists

“That we can so little imagine a world without violence against women is the point. It is the very air we breathe. ...Free from that, we stop. We breathe. We embrace freely.  We are more creative.  We name things confidently.

 “A day of truce – imagining freedom” - Reclaim the Night Perth, Australia

“To be a woman, under patriarchy, is to be a mirror. We are raised to reflect, to efface ourselves and accommodate. We are the surface and material upon which men make themselves, winnowing out our subjectivity in the service of others.”

Jane Clare Jones, ‘You Are Killing Me’: On Hate Speech and Feminist Silencing - Trouble and Strife

Heterosexuality is not, as it appears to be, masculinity-and-femininity in opposition: it is masculinity. Within this masculine heterosexuality, women’s desires and the possibility of female resistance are potentially unruly forces to be disciplined and controlled, if necessary by violence.

‘The Male in the Head :young people, heterosexuality and power’ by Janet Holland, Caroline Ramazanoglu, Sue Sharpe, Rachel Thomson  Via  “Sex & Zika: On contraception and the coital imperative” by Meagan Tyler - Feminist Current

“Sexuality for men is conquest of a woman’s body. A woman’s sexuality is something to be ‘taken.” 

Freya Brown, “Let’s Talk About ‘Consent’ - Anti-Imperialism.com 

Women having sex for their own pleasure is rarely portrayed in popular culture, porn or even sex education.

Kasey Edwards, “Teen girls don't need boys to 'protect their character” - Sydney Morning Herald (Daily Life)

To the extent that men are concerned about women’s pleasure, it is because the female orgasm is a man’s ‘trophy,’ a reward for a successful conquering, a validation of masculinity. 

Freya Brown, “Let’s Talk About ‘Consent’ - Anti-Imperialism.com

“A female body remains a thing to use, to own and to look at.  ...In contrast to the female body, the male body is simply allowed to be: to fill the room, legs spread wide, adding its own sounds and scents to the air. ... It expresses an ownership not just of the body, but of the space around it.”

glosswitch, “Why farting is a feminist issue” - New Statesman 

“Moreover, men see women’s submissiveness as ‘sexy,’ while women learn to eroticize male dominance and assertiveness, and to associate their own submission with sexual pleasure. Pornography, nearly ubiquitous and undeniably, overwhelmingly an arena of objectification and dominance ... teaches us all how to ‘fuck’ or ‘be fucked.” 

Freya Brown, “Let’s Talk About ‘Consent’ - Anti-Imperialsim.com

“Women who live in a culture in which they are objectified by others may in turn begin to objectify themselves. This kind of self-objectification may reduce women’s involvement in social activism, according to new research ...Women who were primed to engage in self-objectification showed greater support for the gender status quo and reduced willingness to participate in social action that would challenge gender inequality. ... self-objectification may be part of a wider pattern of behavior that maintains gender inequality.”

“Self-Objectification May Inhibit Women’s Social Activism “- Association for Psychological Science

“It's a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it.”

Yashar Ali A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy" - The Huffington Post (HuffPost Women

[a-room-of-my-own]

A bit of reading : orwomen.()scot/did-you-know/?fbclid=IwAR0H7TqxQNqemZcAGFtvR_HLkbkxmZ4FY6srcgrULWxGPyWuc6QPTmDQfVI

Did you know…

…that 80-95% of people who say they are trans choose to have no medical treatment at all – no surgery, no drugs, not even therapy? Transwomen are just male people who subjectively believe that they are female. That’s it. That is all that’s required.

Despite some commentators describing an “epidemic of violence against trans people“, transwomen are no more likely to be murdered than anyone else, and the best data available shows it’s half as likely. In Scotland, zero have been killed. In fact, transwomen are almost twice as likely to be the perpetrator of a murder than to be murdered in the UK, which is not surprising since a male pattern of violence is retained regardless of any transition or cross-dressing.

The 48% of trans youth have attempted suicide statistic is nonsense too. It was based on just 27 trans people (aged 26 and under), from a self-selecting online survey – which made the data worthless. Yet that hasn’t stopped the TIE Campaign peddling similar in Scottish schools (or is it 27%, they seem confused?), contrary to Samaritans advice on avoiding attributing the cause to any one incident. The NHS Gender Identity Development Service actually says “suicide is extremely rare” and rates of self-harm, distress and suicide ideation are similar to other children seen by CAMHS.

Did you know that 1 in 50 males in prison now self-id as trans according to Ministry of Justice figures? If it is so dangerous to be trans why do so many choose to come out when in jail?

Were you aware that 95% of prisoners are men, and 5% women? That most women in prison are there for financial crime, and most men are in for violent offending. Did you know that men commit 98% of sex offences? That 48% of transwomen prisoners are sex offenders (compared to less than 20% in the general male estate) and would swamp the female estate if they all transferred.

What makes these convicted sex offenders, who were born male, women? Why should female prisoners be locked up with rapists if they say “I am a woman”? Are you willing to be in a prison cell with a male rapist on that basis? And if not, do you think other women should be? Are you aware that women have already been sexually assaulted and raped, in several countries, because of this policy?

Did you know that Scotland already has a policy significantly more liberal than England’s, stating that transgender prisoners must normally be housed according to the “social gender” with which they self-identify? And that this policy was brought in by a senior prison officer, himself now a convicted sex offender? A policy put in place without even talking to women’s groups or considering that there would be any impact on female prisoners at all. Despite warnings of abuse, including from former women’s prison governor Rhona Hotchkiss, the promised policy review has not been forthcoming.

What about women’s refuges, have you considered what it could do to a woman fleeing male violence to encounter a male in that refuge? Read why the CEO of a domestic violence charity, Karen Ingala Smith, considers it imperative that refuges remain women-only, and her speech at the Scottish Parliament.

Did you know that a woman was asked to leave a shelter because, as a rape survivor, she couldn’t sleep in the same room as a strange male, regardless of how he identified? Are you aware that a man used self-id to access a women’s shelter where he sexually assaulted vulnerable women? Are you aware that a rape relief shelter in Canada lost all public funding for insisting they remain women-only, and had a dead rat nailed to their door?

Are you aware that the Scottish Government imposes a transwomen inclusive policy on Scottish Women’s Aid as a condition of funding and that Rape Crisis Scotland refused to guarantee a female counsellor for a traumatised teenager? We know from private meetings that they erroneously believe they cannot provide a single-sex service due to a lack of ‘case law’, despite having previously done so for many years. Did you know there is a male manager of a rape crisis centre, who failed to disclose his sex at interview, and which still claims to be women-led?

Are you aware that despite less than half of changing rooms in swimming pools and sports centres being mixed sex, 90% of sexual assaults have happened in them? Yet mixed-sex, ‘gender-neutral’ facilities are constantly pushed, including in schools – contrary to law and building regulations requiring separate sex provision – when it would be more responsible to increase third space unisex provision for the comfort of those who need it.

That’s before you even get into the issue of how to keep out predatory men who aren’t trans, if you say that any man who ‘identifies as a woman’ can use communal changing/showering areas at will. A man exposing himself in a park commits a crime. A man doing so in a women’s changing room, where you’re also naked, who need not have even told staff he identifies as a woman, may no longer be committing an offence.

Did you know that the Scottish Government funded LGBT Youth Scotland, a spin-off group from Stonewall, to write guidance for schools that breaches children’s rights in at least eleven ways? This includes the unscientific belief in gender identity, which even the Justice Minister is at a loss to define, the promotion of harmful breast binding and the removal of all single-sex spaces and sports. No-one should be surprised at this as Stonewall have long campaigned for the removal of women’s rights, although single issue political pressure groups should have been no-where near schoolchildren.

It took the Government until June 2019 to commit to replacing this guidance, having privately received advice that it was “not legal“. Yet, this new legally compliant guidance is seven months overdue and the Education Minister is refusing to withdraw LGBTYS’s guidance in the interim.

Why should we accept smear tests from any male who feels they have a womanly gender identity – what does that even mean (let’s ask the Justice Minister again)? And yes, it is happening. A rape survivor who wanted a woman to carry out her breast screening found her letter used as an example in hospital trans guidance as ‘unacceptable’ and ‘highly discriminatory’. And a woman in a psychiatric ward who was terrified at being locked in a ward with an “extremely male-bodied” fellow patient was regarded as a transphobic bigot. The truth is that women in mixed-sex hospital wards, particularly psych, have very real reasons to fear men.

Did you know that 35 clinicians have resigned from the Tavistock (children’s gender clinic in London) over their failings, including the Governor? Who later wrote a damning account of the abject failure to heed evidence that their affirmation-only policy is harmful to children, especially to the huge influx in girls who may suffer other complex problems, such as trauma, autism, a history of sexual abuse or discomfort with their developing sexuality. A staggering 48% of children referred to Tavistock have ASD traits, and a BBC Newsnight investigation revealed significant numbers of children seeking transition treatment based on their family’s homophobia.

Are you aware that studies show that puberty blockers result in 100% of children progressing to cross-sex hormones – whereas, if left unmedicated, the Tavistocks’s own research shows over 90%, if supported by counselling, are happy with their sex once they emerge from puberty. Did you know hormone blockers may cause sterility, a large decrease in IQ, bone density loss, and more? An investigation by the Health Review Authority concluded that blockers are really the start of irreversible physical transition and recommended that “Researchers and clinical staff should…avoid referring to puberty suppression as providing a ‘breathing space’, to avoid risk of misunderstanding.” This led to a major overhaul of the NHS UK website which no longer considers blockers to be fully reversible and confirms long-term effects are unknown.

The young person’s gender clinic at Sandyford, Glasgow has recently withdrawn their information booklet and we trust it will be similarly updated. Do you think all the government funded trans organisations will be scrupulous in updating their information too – including LGBT Youth guidance in Dumfries and Galloway, Scottish Trans/NHS guidance, and Stonewall advice, among many more, including of course the already deemed “not legal” school guidance by LGBT Youth?

Are you aware that the number of children referred to Sandyford is rising at a faster rate than the rest of the UK? Yet they don’t actually know how many girls have been referred as children can select what sex they want recorded on medical records – although unofficially, clinicians report similar concerns as elsewhere about the huge proportional rise in young girls seeking to transition. Did you know that bias, and not evidence, dominates the WPATH transgender standard of care followed in Scotland? And it is woefully out-of-date considering the fundamental change in patient make up since it was written in 2011.

Read the speech given by Dr David Bell at the Scottish Parliament and consider why, if his report about issues at the Tavistock prompted the Director to resign, was it not enough for the Health Minister, Jeane Freeman, to instigate an enquiry into identical practices at Sandyford? Perhaps the Government will listen to the outcome of a Judicial Review that is being sought by Keira Bell, a detransitioning woman, who wants to protect other troubled young girls from similar treatment.

Are you aware that women with our views are threatened with violence, rape and death, almost as an everyday occurrence? We are told TERF is not a slur, but I challenge you to find any instances of it being used without abuse or threats attached to it. Do you think it’s in any way acceptable for lesbians to be on the receiving end of these menaces for asserting, or even just trying to be proud of, their right to be same-sex attracted? Do you really think there’s such a thing as a lesbian with a penis?

All that hate is from transactivists, and is aimed at women with our views. I challenge you to find anything remotely equivalent from here, from our recorded talks, or indeed anywhere else. This is NOT a case of two sides as bad as each other. And it’s notable that the hate is not aimed at genuinely transphobic, aggressive men. It’s aimed at women. It’s aimed at us.

And JK Rowling. Read the tweets she posted and look at the replies. Read the essay further explaining her thoughts and ask how anyone could possibly think she deserved such atrocious abuse, or how transactivists thought it in any way acceptable to post penis images in retaliation (don’t worry, it’s been edited!) on a child’s thread about Ickabog art.

Did you know women can be, and often are, fired for believing sex is real, that humans cannot change sex, and women and girls are entitled to privacy when undressing or otherwise vulnerable? And yet poll, after poll, after poll, after poll show that this is the majority view, by at least 80%. You may well wonder why then, is the Scottish Government proposing to bring in Hate Crime legislation that would see even JK Rowling imprisoned for up to seven years for expressing views deemed abusive by transactivists, yet affords women no such protection in law, based on their sex.

Innate gender identity is a belief system. There’s no evidence one exists. If our Government cannot even define it, then it should not be presented as fact to our children. It should not over-ride women’s hard fought for rights.

Do you know that the very word ‘woman’ will change definition, if the trans lobby succeed? If we can’t define what a woman is, how can we accurately capture data? How can we record male violence, the pay gap, our representation in government, business, finance, law, media…anywhere? Police Scotland already record incidences on the basis of gender identity, but can’t seem to recall when, or why that happened, and the census looks to be going the same way, despite the importance of recognising sex being shown quite dramatically by COVID-19.

An influential lobby loudly insisting that they won’t be erased (when trans organisations are heavily state funded and train all major businesses, branches of government, school teachers, universities and NHS boards) are actively campaigning to erase the very definition of what a woman is – best archive it, just in case! Have you noticed how easy it is to define a woman when we’re being aborted, subjected to FGM, married off, denied the vote, raped, murdered, paid less, represented less in every single sector of government and industry, expected to perform most of the world’s unpaid labour, and constituting 71% of the world’s modern slaves? The only places that seem unsure on what a woman is are the places feminism was starting to make inroads. It’s almost like there must be some sort of a connection, isn’t it?

We don’t have any fear, resentment or hatred for trans people. We agree there should be protection in law against discrimination and violence. We just don’t agree that our rights need to be railroaded over in the process. We don’t agree that male people should access women’s spaces, or benefit from women’s provision, at will, without our consent. Our name is WOMEN and our rights matter.

Don’t you agree…?

[moonstarfem]

A Woman’s Place is hosting this event online next week!

Event description:

A Woman's Place is fighting for women's services

We are honoured to host a courageous panel at the forefront of the sector challenging male violence against women. They are creating, providing, developing and defending services for and with women victims and survivors of men's violence. Register to join us online on Thursday 15 April to hear, and ask your questions, about the fight for women's specialist services.

Biographies

Mariam Ahmed is the CEO for Amina a leading organisation in Scotland that supports and empowers Muslim and Ethnic Minority women. Her expertise is on gender-based violence and she has been committed to working with all sectors to end violence against women. She has been committed to highlighting stories of women in destitution and is a vocal advocate of the human rights issues affecting women with immigration control. She is a training specialist on harmful traditional practises, a training associate for SafeLives, a Director for Scottish Women’s Aid and Committee member of EHRC Scotland.

Nicola Benge is a campaigner in defence of women's domestic abuse services. She started Brighton Rise Up! in response to the council decommissioning of RISE (specialist DV services in Brighton and Hove) to generic providers. She is a service user and sees the impact this fragmentation will have on her and other survivors, locally and nationally.

Maureen Connolly is a proud feminist, committed to women for women services as the safest, most appropriate and effective provision for women and children affected by abuse. She has been involved in the specialist, Violence against Women sector for more than 25 years and is Chief Executive of Birmingham and Solihull Woman's Aid. She has been instrumental in leading the development of integrated specialist services, that address VAWG issues including domestic violence, sexual violence, forced marriage, female genital mutilation, child sexual exploitation and the first specialist domestic violence Think Family programme in the UK.

Shonagh Dillon has over 26 years' experience working in the MVAW sector, she is the founder and CEO at Aurora New Dawn working with victims and survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. She is also a doctoral student at the University of Portsmouth and has just submitted her thesis which researches the clash between transgender ideology and women's sex based rights anlaysing the direct impact on the MVAW sector.

Karen Ingala Smith is CEO of nia, a women's sector NGO. She has 30 years experience of providing specialist services to women. She is also the co-founder and director of the Femicide Census and Counting Dead Women (recording and commemorating all UK women killed by men or where a man is the principal suspect/perpetrator).

Donations

Tickets for this event are free. If you are would like to make a donation we encourage you to give to these groups:

Amina

Aurora New Dawn

Birmingham and Solihull Women's Aid

nia

RISE

You can also donate to Woman's Place UK

Register for the event here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-womans-place-is-fighting-for-womens-services-tickets-148108180555?aff=ebdsoporgprofile

[aroomofourownfeministnetwork]

Why don’t women matter?, by @FeministBorgia

Why don’t women matter?, by @FeministBorgia

This morning on the Today program I listened to a very interesting segment regarding deaths of children and young people in the criminal justic system. You can read more about it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26061816 The charity Inquest has worked with the Prison Reform Trust to produce a report (called Fatally Flawed, can be found here) regarding deaths in custody, specifically those of…

[ukrfeminism]

5 minute read - IWD 2023

Labour MP Jess Phillips took more than five minutes to read a list of women killed over the past 12 months where the perpetrator or suspect was a man.

Before entering the Commons chamber on Thursday, she had to add another name to the list in pen – that of Helen Harrison, who was found dead in Yorkshire on Sunday.

Bereaved families, including the newly formed group Killed Women, reacted angrily to the fact that just three male MPs were present for the reading of the names a day after International Women’s Day.

Julie Devey, a co-founder of Killed Women, said she and other families in the group had stood as the names were read out to show solidarity to the women killed, and their families.

“It was very hard to listen to,” said Devey, whose daughter Poppy Devey Waterhouse was stabbed 49 times by her ex-boyfriend in 2018. “And I’m very emotional listening to each of those names knowing what the families now face. And [there were] hardly any politicians there, and three men. So that says a lot, doesn’t it?”

Phillips read out the names of 109 UK women killed by men or where a man is the principal suspect. The youngest victim read out by Phillips was 15; the oldest 92.

She thanked Karen Ingala Smith for her work with Counting Dead Women, which records the names of women killed, where the perpetrator or suspect is a man, and the Femicide Census, saying Ingala Smith fought “every day for killed women to be an issue of major public concern”.

This year a spokesperson for the Femicide Census said that for the first time they had contacted every MP where a female constituent had been killed and had a “handful of supportive replies”, but noted: “We observed that the small numbers listening to Jess read out their names in the chamber has not changed from this year to the last.”

The shadow minister for domestic violence and safeguarding said the time for “warm words” was over, and implored the government to release the “long overdue” sentencing review into domestic homicide. Clare Wade KC was appointed to undertake the review in September 2021. It was originally due for completion in December 2021, but is yet to be published.

“The families of the killed Women Campaign who join us here today would want me to make clear that lessons are not being learned,” said Phillips. “Warm words are no longer enough. We honour these women not by reading out their names, not by doing any of the promises that happen in this place. We honour them with deeds, not with words.”

Phillips paid tribute to the work of Ingala Smith and the families fighting for change. “These amazing campaigners have made sure that killed women are no longer just a name recorded in a local newspaper. They have made sure the issue of femicide and all the failings that lead to an increased risk of a national priority for the people of Britain,” she said.

Ingala Smith said police still often refered to the killing of women as isolated incidents, which minimised the “extent of femicide in the UK and the systemic nature of men’s fatal violence against women”

“Every year over 100 women are killed by men in the UK, in fact of the cases we know, on average a woman is killed by a man every 2.6 days,” she said.

“[The list] should be seen as a roll call of state failure because whilst every man must be held accountable for the violence he chooses to commit, the state could do so much more to end men’s violence against women.”

[fairplayforwomen]

Domestic violence: some men ARE like that

Domestic violence: some men ARE like that

Domestic violence is not an equal-opportunities issue. Women are overwhelmingly murdered by male ex-partners & families. 2 women are murdered every week in the UK by a partner or ex-partner. Every time I hear that particular figure, I think about the women I love. My sisters, my glorious nieces, my friends, my colleagues. Because those two women, that were murdered this week? They were daughters,…

[misandrywatch]

Karen Ingala Smith @K_IngalaSmith

@femicidecensus @countdeadwomen kareningalasmith.com

[coochiequeens]

Susan Dela Cuesta, 57, and her partner, David Crouch, 78, will soon know if they have full custody of their one-year-old granddaughter. The child’s mother, 20-year-old Caroline Crouch, was killed on 11 May this year, by her husband, Charalambos Anagnostopoulos, 33. Initially, he had claimed that intruders had murdered his wife. “One thing that makes me even more sad than her death is the fact that our daughter will grow up without remembering her beautiful mother,” he said, before his arrest, at Crouch’s funeral.

Her diaries revealed that she had been in an abusive, controlling relationship. Now, it seems likely that the little girl will grow up not in Athens but on the island of Alonissos, her maternal grandparents’ retirement home. “There,” her grandmother said, “she will not be known as a killer’s daughter.”

She is one of many children each year, hidden behind headlines about killings, who are left motherless by femicide. Families and friends will struggle to take on the role of carers, hit by a juggernaut of sudden loss and unexpected added responsibility.

Their stories are just some of those now being highlighted by the Observer, as part of its collaboration with the Femicide Census, a database that includes a 10-year review of all female killings. Activist and former solicitor Clarrie O’Callaghan, and Karen Ingala Smith, chief executive of Nia, a sexual and domestic violence charity founded the census. They have been helped by pro bono support from Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer, an international law firm, and consultants Deloitte. The aim of our collaboration is to try to reduce the rate of femicide. One woman is killed by a man every three days, a statistic unchanged for a decade.

“The least the government can do is to establish precisely how many children are affected and produce an action plan to meet their needs. Currently, that is not happening,” says O’Callaghan.

She and Ingala Smith estimate that at least 80 children a year in the UK are left motherless by femicide. “Bereavement through violence has a profound impact on children, even more so when the perpetrator is your father,” says Ingala Smith. “In addition to the trauma of loss, there are the questions of identity, loyalty and genetic inheritance.”

Emma Radley of Winston’s Wish, a charity that supports bereaved children, says that many of them “puddle jump’’. “One minute they will be in the depths, crying , wanting to know, ‘Where’s Mummy?’, the next they will be asking if they can go out and play. It can make adults think, ‘It’s OK now’. And it may not be. It can have a domino effect on a child’s entire life.”

In the UK, in what is still the only major study of children affected by one parent killing the other, six-year-old Harry was asked to draw what he saw when his father shot his mother and later killed himself.

“Are you sure you want to see it?” Harry asked. “I can only draw sad faces.” Often, children stay silent in case the pain is too much for their new carer and they are abandoned again.

The study, When Father Kills Mother, was conducted by a team of child and adolescent psychiatrists headed by Dora Black, now retired. In it, the team records how 400 children impacted by domestic homicide, “flotsam in the sea of life”, were helped. Forty per cent (160) were under five at the time of the killing. Some had been returned to the care of the perpetrator, having witnessed the killing. Many suffered from anxiety, nightmares, phobias, post-traumatic stress, aggressive behaviour and an inability to trust –“frozen watchfulness”.

“If they behave as if nothing has happened,” the authors warned, “this should be regarded as a problem.”

The book was first published almost 30 years ago when “psychological first aid”, understanding and practical help were in short supply – so, has there been progress?

Drawing on the Femicide Census database, 80% of mothers (402) in domestic homicides were killed by a current or former partner. For example, Mumtahina Jannat, 29, mother of two, was strangled by her husband, Abdul Kadir, 49, in 2011, six years after they had separated. Five per cent (27) of mothers were killed by strangers.

In 19% of cases it’s unknown if the victims had children under 18. Over 10 years, at least 52 children were killed and, excluding by terrorist attack, 31 were killed by their father. In at least 19 cases, femicide was followed by suicide leaving the child or children orphans.

More than 100 children witnessed a killing or were in the home when it occurred. In one instance, a man murdered his girlfriend and their 10-month-old daughter in a “sustained and fearsome” knife attack, leaving a two-year-old in the house with his dead mother and sibling for over 24 hours.

In 59% of domestic homicides, a history of domestic abuse was identified, “a considerable undercount”, according to the census. So, long before the loss of a mother, many children will have witnessed, if not experienced, violence and coercive control.

Roann Court, 27, appears confident and outgoing but some days, she says, that melts away. In 2009, Benjamin Cooper, 35, stabbed Court’s mother, Clare, 41 times. She had left him after a decade of abuse. Court, then 15, witnessed the attack, grabbed her little sister, ran to a neighbour and returned to try to save her mother. ”My mother’s last words to me were: ‘Look after the girls.’”

She says: “I wouldn’t be here but for my nan, my husband and my two boys. I’ve taught myself how to cope. He [Cooper] is out now after only 10 years; our sentence continues.”

Court’s “brilliant” grandparents, then in their 50s, adopted their three granddaughters. “They picked up the pieces.” Therapy, however, soon stopped. “It was PTSD treatment for veterans. They don’t know how to deal with children. My sister was three but she can remember word for word what happened. It’s so important to ask the child. Instead, the professionals would talk to my nan and grandad but only we can know what we need.”

Court’s sister is now 15. She has good support from school but, “she does ask, ‘What if I turn out like him?’ And some parents of school friends seem to think murder is catching.”

Court says she remembers her mother as someone full of life who, “loved dancing, Elvis Presley and laughter” and “not as a dead woman in the newspapers”, adding: “That matters to me.”

She would like to become a child counsellor if she can find the money. “I didn’t get the support that I needed when I was young so if I can help someone else experiencing what I did, I’ll feel good about myself.”

Hetti Barkworth-Nanton chairs Refuge, a domestic abuse charity and is co-founder of the Joanna Simpson Foundation, set up to help children bereaved by domestic homicide and fund research.

“Is there enough support today? Categorically no,” she says. JSF was established after the killing of her best friend, Jo, in 2010 by her husband, leaving two children. “When support does happen, it’s patchy at best. Victim support is for the adult but the child is invisible.

“Almost half of these children end up in care or, on average, they are moved four or five times, changing schools, not allowed back into homes after a killing so they can retrieve clothes or school work or something to remind them of their mother. They may be bounced between both sides of battling families and end up in limbo when what they desperately need is love and security.”

A domestic homicide review (DHR) investigates a killing to learn lessons and make recommendations. A 2018 report analysed 55 DHRs published between 2011 and 2016 that involved children under 18. Only three had any input from a child; only 11 mentioned ongoing support for the children.

Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse, an extraordinary charity that provides specialist advice and support for families, would like to see children having a voice and many more specially trained child advocates.

Also not considered in the DHRs was how, after separation, the family courts and other agencies continue to insist that “contact is best”, a dangerous man can still be a “good enough father”, even when he is using contact to continue to exercise coercive control.

A Women’s Aid report lists 19 child fatalities from 12 families in the context of post-separation contact. In 2014, Claire Throssell’s sons, Jack,12, and Paul, nine, were burned to death by their father, Darren Sykes, on a contact visit. Now, she campaigns. Belatedly and slowly, reform is underway but some judges still fail to understand the toxicity of coercive control.

What is it like for a child to be returned to the care of a man whom your mother feared? Gemma Graham lectures in forensic psychology. On 1 May 1993, when Graham was six, her mother, Linda, took her own life. “She had left her husband after years of abuse, but he kept tracking her down. She lived in terror. She told my grandmother, ‘If anything happens to me, don’t let him have Gemma’.”

Graham was placed in foster care. “I never lived with my brother again. I thought I’d done something bad.”

Then, her father won custody. He had a new partner. “They were violent, noisy, drunken,” she says. When she was nine, her father abandoned her to his partner who told Graham to leave five years later. “There was no love. She wouldn’t let me eat in the same room. I got accused of bullying at school. Nobody recognised something was wrong. I’m 34 now and I’m still massively impacted. Two years ago, I told my husband, ‘I’m alive but I’m not living. I’m constantly catastrophising about losing my job, my marriage, my friends.’ Anything would trigger those awful feelings I had as a child.”

Graham had a year of trauma therapy. “It was the best and the worst thing I’ve ever done. Eighteen months ago, I couldn’t have had this conversation. Now, I’ve got a mental tool kit that reminds me: ‘You’ll be all right.’”

Outcomes for children after a killing are linked to support for their carers. Many relatives, or kinship carers, have a special guardianship order until the child reaches 18. Some have to share parental responsibility with the perpetrator and allow his family access to his children.

Leeds City Council has a dedicated team to support special guardians (SGs), offering assessment, training, workshops and practical and financial help.

That is rare. A group of organisations, including the charity Kinship, are campaigning to improve the help SGs receive. Income is an issue. If a grandmother gives up work for a second round of parenting, her pension will suffer. She may also face sanctions from the jobcentre, further reducing her income.

“Kinship care and poverty are inextricably linked,” says the charity’s chief executive Lucy Peake.

Unlike fostering, which usually has a minimum allowance of £134 a week, the average weekly allowance for SGs is about £91, although one in four receive no allowance at all. A child may receive a payout from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority but that is generally reserved until they come of age.

On 28 November 2018, George Worgan strangled his wife, Kelly, 33. Their children were aged four and five. He must serve 12 and a half years before he is eligible for parole. Two days after the killing, grandparents Glynis and Paul Holder became the children’s carers. Paul, 57, has disabilities and Glynis, 65, is his full-time carer. Glynis says: “Social workers were here all the time. It was stressful.”

Money is sparse but the community has given strong support. The children were given “a van load” of Christmas presents, their first without their mother. “It’s been very hard,” Glynis says. “As my granddaughter grows up, how she walks, her temperament, is so like her mum.

“They won’t sleep alone. She is having therapy. The other day she made a mask, inside she had written ‘Help’. The father used to say there was something wrong with my grandson. He used to smack him. When the boy started school, he was still in nappies. Now he is doing so well. They know we love them and they are safe.”

This year, for the first time, domestic abuse legislation recognises children as victims of abuse in their own right. The Home Office says it has provided more than £3m for specialist services for children. It is currently undertaking consultation prior to statutory guidance.

In 2018, Italy passed a law for children affected by domestic homicide, “orfani speciali”, based on the work of the late feminist campaigner, Professor Anna Constanza Baldry. Among other elements, it provides money for scholarships, further education, job training, legal aid, medical and psychological care, and funds civil proceedings and a monthly allowance. It also ensures the child receives their dead parent’s pension and the right to change their name. The UK needs a similar model.

Of course, the best outcome of all would be for the killing and abuse to stop.

Care system failings

Children may also become victims of femicide because of statutory neglect. Samantha (Sami) Sykes had known Elisa Frank and her younger sister, Kimberley (Kim) Frank, since primary school in Wakefield, West Yorkshire. Then, the Franks were placed in care.

In a children’s home, Elisa began a relationship with Ahmad Otak, who arrived in Britain in 2007 as a refugee, an unaccompanied minor. After he and Elisa moved in together he would threaten to sew up Elisa’s mouth and kill her relatives if she left him. Sami successfully encouraged Elisa to end the relationship.

“Sami was fearless,” says her mother, Julie Warren-Sykes, an NHS associate director of nursing. “She had a strong sense of right and wrong.”

In March 2012, Elisa, 19, and Kim, 17, were in Elisa’s flat when Otak arrived. He tied up Elisa and stabbed Kim to death and made Elisa call Sami, 18, whom he also killed. He is serving 34 years.

“Looked-after children are also victims of femicide,” Warren-Sykes says. “No one confronted Otak about his abuse except Sami. When vulnerable children do come forward and nothing is done, what kind of message does it send to all women?”

Warren-Sykes and her family established the remarkable Samantha Sykes Foundation Trust, in 2014, to support children in care and care leavers. More than 3,000 young people have been helped with further education, laptops, transport costs and therapy.

“It was important to turn what was so brutal and negative into something positive in Sami’s name,” she says.