#KING HENRY VIII

[thatsbelievable]

[emma-ofnormandy]

“King Henry, renowned shit head that he was…”

I think more history books need to open with this line.

[mysharona1987]

But Prince Harry saying to Meghan: “Fuck it, we’re outta here!” now sounds like the best decision a royal family person ever made since the Italian princess turned down King Henry VIII’s marriage proposal because he had beheaded his former wife.

When you are getting bad vibes.

[haroldhearsawho]

Obsessed with Damian serving cunt on set behind the scenes of all of his projects

[starlightsuffered]

Make Her Finish (Hal)

Info - possessive Hal, horny Hal, discussing waiting till marriage to have sex, high sex drive, Hal being insecure, discussing faking orgasms, Hal not being verbal during sex, knife play, carving initials in skin, cutting away clothing, spitting in mouth, demanding praise, unprotected sex, accusing someone of faking an orgasm, ass slapping, slapping cock on body, injury, licking blood

"It is so good to see you sister," I said smiling.

"Yes, I was gone a long time, but it was well worth it. Edward is the love of my life. You must thank Hal for introducing us," she smiled.

"That's wonderful. I know you were waiting for your wedding night," I said. With how voracious Hal's sex drive was that hadn't been a possibility for us and I was happier for it. My sister had saved herself. "Was it all you dreamed?"

Her expression soured and she looked out the window. The grip on her tea cup tightened.

"He has, he has yet to me make me finish," she said dismally.

"What have you done?" | asked in genuine fascination. Hal never had this issue. I wondered what he would do if I didn't?

"I've been faking," she sighed.

"Faking? How would one even do that?"

"You moan and say you feel good and make your walls contract, it seems to work well," she said sheepishly.

"You need to tell him!" | urged.

"Why?" She asked. "He'll only be upset."

"Or he would try to get better," | offered.

"But, can you get better?"

"Absolutely, I've told Hal everything I like and he's given into my requests. I'm not sure what the monarch would do if he had found l'd faked an orgasm," | chuckled.

Very soon after my last sentence my husband came stalking into the room. I knew the lust filled look in his eyes.

"Do you need me your highness?" | asked immediately.

"Yes!" He said, and dragged me from the room. My sister seemed astonished but Hal was like this. He wasn't used to having his desires ignored. If he wanted something, he went and got it.

Once in his chambers I was thrown against the wall. He was always rough with me and I adored it. He kissed me hard and I gave him the same force. He lifted my skirts and harshly pressed my clit. He swallowed my whimper.

He broke our kiss to get his sword.

"You know, one day you'll empty the crown's treasury with all the dresses of mine you need to replace," ! chuckled. He loved cutting my clothing away instead of dealing with the skirts and lacing.

I could finally breath properly with the corset slit. Sure a little more belly protruded, but Hal often went on and on about my natural form. He was disrobing quickly.

He threw me over his shoulder, landing a smack to my ass. I adored it when he threw me down and was over me in an instant. His eyes were darker than I'd ever seen.

He grabbed my jaw, forcing open my mouth. He spat into my mouth, but kept it open so he could speak his words into it.

"Im going to fuck you, and all the the while you will tell me how good I feel," he said darkly into my mouth. I nodded obediently. He let go and I swallowed his saliva.

"Yes my King," I swore. He sheathed himself inside me after slapping both my thighs with my cock.

"Hal, you're so deep," | whined as he began to rut into me at a nearly unimaginable speed. He plunged in and out of my hurriedly. I heard his little grunt of effort and traced his popping veins. He was really pushing himself.

"You're so good at this. You were made for sex my lord, the length and girth of your cock, the speed you always have, the selflessness of the pleasure you provide," | praised him.

"Oh, fuck, your cock is the only thing that could make the Queen swear," I moaned as I writhed. He pulled out with a wet sound and I whined.

"Hal, what's going on?" I asked. He got his dagger. His eyes looked wild, he was in a different mind frame than me obviously. He was all desperation. He didn't even have the foresight to use the handle, instead he gripped the blade of the dagger, and without pushing too hard, carved his initials into my upper thigh. It only stung a little and his possessiveness made it worth it. He threw the dagger away and plunged back into me.

"Oh yes my king I'm yours, brand me if you like," I said bringing his injured hand to me. I let my tongue flick over the two parallel bloody lines. He let out a whimper at the sight.

'So good to me Hal, how do you outdo yourself every time?" | asked and he began to come, his expression bliss filled. I felt my eyes roll back into my head as his cock hit my g spot over and over. My walls clenched him. I sucked on his bloody hand as I came undone, my walls convulsing uncontrollably.

"That was amazing my King, but I do wish you would have talked more, I love your voice. I must ask though, it seemed like you were trying to prove something. Is there something on your mind?" I asked.

"You told your sister you faked an orgasm with me," he said softly.

"I did not!"

"You said you didn't know what l'd do if I knew," he countered.

"That was hypothetical. I've never NEVER had to fake with you. Every one is incredibly real. Her husband wasn't pleasing her and I was in wonder because you always do it perfectly," I said.

"Oh, sorry about your leg then," he said and bent to kiss the spot he'd cut.

"I don't mind," I smirked. "I like being marked as yours."

"I love you," he moaned.

[anneboleynqueen]

Natalie Dormer and Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII in The Tudors (2007-2010)

[jischw]

1. Catherine of Aragon (married 1509-1533)

motto: HUMBLE AND LOYAL

Even allowing for tactful hyperbole, it is clear that Catherine, […] did have the kind of youthful prettiness and freshness of appearance that charmed observers, not only the family into which she would marry. It was partly a question of her complexion: her naturally pink cheeks and white skin were much admired in an age when make-up was clumsy in execution, easy to detect and much scorned. Ambassadors abroad, describing princesses to their masters, generally emphasized the tint of the skin, carefully noting whether it was 'painted' or not. A fair complexion like Catherine's was thought to indicate a more serene and cheerful temperament than a 'brown' one. Then Catherine's hair was also fair and thick, with a reddish-gold tint, her features neat and regular in a pleasingly shaped oval face.

Perhaps Catherine's fair colouring, so far from the conventional picture of a dark-visaged Spaniard, reminded onlookers of her one-eighth of English blood: […] 'there is nothing wanting in her that the most beautiful girl should have. '

If her complexion was her chief beauty, Catherine's chief disadvantage was her lack of height. All the grace of her bearing, inculcated over many years at the Castilian court, could not conceal the fact that she was extremely short, even tiny. Years later a loyal defender had to admit that she was 'in stature somewhat mean', while adding quickly 'but bonarly [bonnie] withal'. She was also on the plump side - but then a pleasant roundness in youth was considered to be desirable at this period, a pointer to future fertility. In contrast Catherine's voice was surprisingly low and 'big-sounding' for a woman; and that no doubt contributed to the impression of gracious dignity she left on all observers, making up for the lack of inches.

2. Anne Boleyn (married 1533-1536)

motto: THE MOST HAPPY

Anne Boleyn was not a great beauty. The Venetian ambassador […] pronounced her 'not one of the handsomest women in the world'. […] Anne Boleyn was only moderately pretty.

Some of this lukewarm praise may have been due to the fact that her looks did not accord with the fair-haired, blue-eyed ideal of the time. In theory, dark looks were regarded with suspicion and Anne Boleyn's looks were conspicuously dark: she was 'Brunet' […] Anne Boleyn's olive complexion’ […] her colouring 'rather dark' or sallow 'as if troubled with jaundice', or 'not so whitely as ... above all we may esteem.' She did have a few moles, although she was hardly disfigured by them on the contrary they acted as beauty-spots. Her hair, thick and lustrous as it might be, was extremely dark […] And her eyes were so dark as to be almost black. But then the theory of public admiration was one thing - blondes were supposed to be of cheerful temperament - and the practice of physical attraction was quite another. Clearly in adulthood Anne Boleyn exercised a kind of sexual fascination over most men who met her; whether it aroused desire or hostility, the fascination was there.

The black eyes were sparkling and expressive; and they were set off by those 'dark, silky and well-marked eyebrows' […] on the subject: she knew well how 'to use [her eyes] with effect', whether deliberately leaving them in repose or using them to send a silent message which carried ‘the secret testimony of the heart'. As a result many became obedient to their power. More prosaically, the Venetian ambassador called her eyes "black and beautiful'. Her mouth, described by him as 'wide' (another theoretical disadvantage by the standards of the time), was recorded by Sander as pretty. […] Anne Boleyn was 'of middling stature' (which made her of course a great deal taller than Queen Catherine). She seems to have been quite slight or at any rate not full-breasted - the Venetian ambassador remarked that her bosom was 'not much raised' […]. But a much more important aspect of her appearance when she first came to court was her elegant long neck; this, with the deportment she had learned in France […] gave her a special grace, especially when dancing, which no one denied.

The fresh young damsel had other qualities, some more obvious than others at the moment of her arrival back in England. She had 'a very good wit', wrote Cavendish in his Life of Wolsey, another source not prejudiced in Anne Boleyn's favour? The phrase, going beyond mere intelligence, carried with it connotations of spirit and adventurousness; in other words, Anne Boleyn was good company. Like many spirited people, she had another more impatient side to her: she would display on occasion a quick temper and a sharp tongue. But of these characteristics, deplored in a woman as much as skill at singing and dancing was prized, there was as yet no sign.

3. Jane Seymour (married 1536-1537)

motto: BOUND TO OBEY AND SERVE

From other sources, it seems likely that the charm of her character considerably outweighed the charm of her appearance: […] of middle statute and no great beauty. Her most distinctive aspect was her famously pure white complexion. Holbein gives her a long nose, and firm mouth, with the lips slighty compressed, although her face son a pleasing oval shape with the high forehead then admired (enhanced sometimes by discret plucking of the hairline) and set off by the headdresses of the time. Altogether, if Anne

Boleyn conveys the fascination of the new, there is a dignified but slightly stolid look to Jane Seymour, appropriately reminiscent of English medieval consorts.

But the predominant impression given by her portrait - at the hands of a master of artistic realism - is a young woman of calm good sense. And contemporaries all commented on Jane Seymour's intelligence: in this she was clearly more like her cautious brother Edward than her dashing brother Tom. She was also naturally sweet-natured (no angry words or tantrums here) and virtuous - her virtue was another topic on which there was general agreement. There was a story that she had been attached to the son of Sir Robert and Lady Dormer, a country neighbour, but was thought of too modest a rank to marry him; even if true, the tale brought with it no slur on Jane's maidenly honour. It was told more as a Cinderella story, where the unfairly slighted girl would go on to be raised triumphantly to far greater heights. Her survival as a lady-in-waiting to two Queens at the Tudor court still with a spotless reputation may indeed be seen as a testament to both Jane Seymour's salient characteristics - virtue and common good sense. A Bessie Blount or Madge Shelton might fool around, Anne Boleyn might listen or even accede to the seductive wooings of Lord Percy: but Jane Seymour was unquestionably virginal.

In short, Jane Seymour was exactly the kind of female praised by the contemporary handbooks to correct conduct; just as Anne Boleyn had been the sort they warned against. There was certainly no threatening sexuality about her. Nor is it necessary to believe that her 'virtue' was in some way hypocritically assumed, in order to intrigue the King […]. On the contrary, Jane Seymour was simply fulfilling the expectations for a female of her time and class: it was Anne Boleyn who was - or rather who had been - the fascinating outsider.

4. Anne of Cleves (married 1540-1540)

motto: GOD SEND ME WELL TO KEEP

Let us take the actual appearance of Anna of Cleves first: for this we are fortunate in having a first-hand description, written only a few days later by the French ambassador, Charles de Marillac, who was not prejudiced in either direction, towards her beauty or her ugliness. Anna of Cleves looked about thirty, he wrote (she was in fact twenty-four), tall and thin, 'of middling beauty, with a determined and resolute countenance.' The Lady was not as handsome as people had affirmed she was, nor as young […], but there was a steadiness of purpose in her face to counteract her want of beauty.

The 'daughter of Cleves' was solemn, or at any rate by English standards she was, and she looked old for her age. She was solemn because she had not been trained to be anything else and the German fashions did little to give an impression of youthful charm in a court in love as ever with things French, or at any rate associating them with fun and delight. […] Turning to Holbein's picture, one finds this solemnity well captured: a critic might indeed term it stolidity. Besides Wotton, in his report, had confirmed that Holbein, generally regarded as the master of the 'lively' or lifelike (not the flattering) in his own time, had indeed captured Anna's "image' very well.

Of course a beautiful young woman, however stolid or badly dressed, would still have been acceptable. Anna of Cleves was not beautiful, and those reports which declared she was were egregious exaggerations in the interests of diplomats […]. But was Anna of Cleves actually hideous? Holbein, painting her full-face, as was the custom, does not make her so to the modern eye, with her high forehead, wide-apart, heavy-lidded eyes and pointed chin.

There is indirect evidence that Anna of Cleves was perfectly pleasant-looking from the later years of Henry VIII. When Chapuys reported Anna of Cleves as rating her contemporary, Catherine Parr, 'not nearly as beautiful' as herself, this expert observer did not choose to contradict her; so that the boast was presumably true, or at least true enough not to be ridiculous.

5. Katherine Howard (married 1540-1542)

motto: NO OTHER WILL BUT HIS

No confirmed authentic picture of Katherine Howard survives. The fact that Katherine Howard is the only one of Henry VIII’s wives for whose appearance we must rely properly on contemporary descriptions, gives her career an appropriately evanescent quality. The same mistiness surrounds her date of birth. She was eighteen or nineteen when the King’s roving eye first fell upon her: that is, roughly thirty years younger than he was. […] Katherine was not only small, as Catherine of Aragon had been, but diminutive: parvissima puella – a really tiny girl. If King Henry was about thirty years older than Katherine, he must have been well over a foot taller. We need not speculate further about their respective weights. The French ambassador rated her beauty as only middling (the same phrase he had used for Anna of Cleves, incidentally), but he did praise her gracefulness, and he found much sweetness in her expression; her habit of dressing à la française (as opposed to Anna of Cleves’ Germanic fashions) no doubt commended itself to him.

Even if Katherine Howard was not a beauty, she must have had considerable prettiness and obvious sex appeal (as well as – or perhaps because of – her youth) since we know that she captivated the King instantly.

6. Catherine Parr (married 1543-1547)

motto: TO BE USEFUL IN ALL I DO

The woman who brought about this cheerfulness, the new Queen Catherine Parr, was herself never described by anyone as a beauty: even the term ‘of middling beauty’ used for both Anna of Cleves and Jane Seymour by Marillac was not applied in this case. ‘Pleasing’ and ‘lively’, ‘kind’ and ‘gracious’ were the most flattering epithets ascribed to her. It is true that a difference of age and status may have been responsible for this lack – widows of over thirty were not expected to be beauties – but when Anna of Cleves indignantly exclaimed that the new Queen was ‘not nearly as beautiful as she’, Chapuys, passing on the comment, did not see fit to contradict it.

Queen Catherine Parr’s only known authentic likeness, attributed to William Scrots, shows an amiable face rather than an intriguing one; the nose is short, the mouth small, and the forehead broad rather than domed in the way that contemporaries admired. Her hair was rather similar in colour to that of Catherine of Aragon: light auburn, tinged with what Agnes Strickland in the nineteenth century would call ‘threads of burnished gold’.

But if the new Queen Catherine was not a beauty, she was neither dull nor austere. She enjoyed dancing. […] She was well set up – the tallest of King Henry’s wives – and her height would have enabled her to cut a regal figure since her conception of her role as queen consort also included a great deal of ornate dressing-up.

Bibliography:

- Fraser, Antonia. The Six Wives of Henry VIII. New York Knopf, 1993.

[thepastisalreadywritten]

By Leslie Patrick

1 August 2023

Anne Boleyn (c. 1501 or 1507 – 19 May 1536), King Henry VIII's second queen, is often portrayed as a seductress and ultimately the woman responsible for changing the face of religion in England.

In reality, she was a fiercely intelligent and pious woman dedicated to education and religious reform.

But after her arrest and execution on false charges of adultery and incest in May 1536, Henry VIII was determined to forget her memory.

Her royal emblems were removed from palace walls, her sparkling jewels tucked away in dark coffers, and her precious books disappeared from the pages of time.

One of Boleyn’s books that has reappeared is the Book of Hours, a stunning prayer book, printed around 1527 with devotional texts designed to be read throughout the day, features hand-painted woodcuts — as well as a rare example of the queen’s own writing.

In the margins of one of the beautifully decorated pages, she penned a rhyming couplet followed by her signature:

“Remember me when you do pray, that hope doth lead from day to day, Anne Boleyn.”

The book vanished with Boleyn’s execution in 1536, then resurfaced around 1903 when it was acquired by the American millionaire William Waldorf Astor (31 March 1848 – 18 October 1919) after he purchased Hever Castle, Anne Boleyn’s childhood home in the English countryside.

The hiding place of the disgraced queen’s devotional tome had been a mystery for centuries, until recent research by a university student uncovered hidden signatures that helped trace its path through history.

The discovery

The book’s whereabouts in the 367 years between Boleyn’s death and its reemergence remained puzzling until 2020 when Kate McCaffrey, then a graduate student at the University of Kent working on her master’s thesis about Anne Boleyn’s Book of Hours, found something unexpected in the margins of the book.

“I noticed what appeared to be smudges to the naked eye,” recalls McCaffrey, assistant curator at Hever Castle since 2021.

Intrigued, she borrowed an industrial-strength ultraviolet light and set it up in the darkest room of Hever Castle.

Ultraviolet light is often used to examine historical documents because ink absorbs the ultraviolet wavelength, causing it to appear darker against the page when exposed.

“The words just came through. It was incredible to see them underneath the light, they were completely illuminated,” the curator recalls.

McCaffrey’s theory is that the words were erased during the late Victorian era when it was popular to cleanse marginalia from books or manuscripts.

But thanks to her extraordinary detective work, these erased words turned out to be the key that unlocked the tale of the book’s secret journey from certain destruction at the royal court to safety in the hands of a dedicated group of Boleyn’s supporters.

The guardians

Indeed, various pages throughout the text reveal the names and notations of a string of Kentish women — Elizabeth Hill, Elizabeth Shirley, Mary Cheke, Philippa Gage, and Mary West — who banded together to safeguard Anne's precious book and keep her memory alive.

While it’s unclear how the book was initially passed to these women, Anne Boleyn expert Natalie Grueninger suggests it was gifted by Anne to a woman named Elizabeth Hill.

Elizabeth grew up near Hever Castle, and her husband, Richard Hill, was sergeant of the King’s Cellar at Henry VIII’s court.

There are records of the Hill’s playing cards with the king, and there may have been a friendship between Elizabeth and the queen that prompted Boleyn to pass her prayer book on before her execution.

“This extended Kentish family kept the book safe following Anne’s demise, which was an incredibly brave and bold act considering it could have been considered treasonous,” says Grueninger, podcaster and author of the book The Final Year of Anne Boleyn.

Anne’s Book of Hours was passed between mothers, daughters, sisters, and nieces until the late sixteenth century, when the last name makes its appearance in its margins.

“This story is an example of the women in the family prioritizing loyalty, friendship, fidelity, and a personal connection to Anne,” says McCaffrey.

“The fact that the women have kept it safe is a really beautiful story of solidarity, community, and bravery.”

The book, currently on display at Hever Castle, is a touchstone of the enigma that was Anne Boleyn.

Castle historian and assistant curator Owen Emmerson points out that the book contains Anne’s DNA on the pages from where she touched and kissed it during her daily devotions.

“This was a really beloved possession of hers,” says Emmerson.

“Because of what happened to Anne Boleyn, we don’t have a vast amount of information in Anne’s own words. But the physical remnants of her use of the book, and the construction of that beautiful little couplet, have her identity in them.”

While Anne’s Book of Hours has finally found its way home, the research into this intriguing historical mystery is not yet over.

McCaffrey continues to chart the book’s provenance through the centuries to find out where it was hiding all this time.

The discovery of the inscriptions illuminates the book’s furtive journey, providing us with a glimpse into the controversy, loyalty, and fascination that Anne Boleyn has engendered for the past 500 years.

[gobbogoo]

Twin Moon Knight Rellana has the best rendition of "boob-armour" I've seen in fiction:

Edit: Why'd Tumblr mark this as mature??

Why The Trope Is Usually Dumb and Bad:

In general, an effective suit of armour needs padding underneath to absorb blows, meaning it shouldn't fit so tightly around the chest as to require a built-in bra, and the common boob-armour divot used to define cleavage only serves to direct attacks directly into the chest. It's impractical to both make and wear. That COULD be used by a smart writer to say something about the character wearing it, but almost always it's just fan-service at the cost of the story's cohesion, with no deeper meaning.

Now let's look at Rellana's armour:

Why Rellana's Armour is Cool and Good:

Rellana's armour was carefully designed to avoid all the common pitfalls. First and foremost, there's no cleavage! Instead, they've taken a cinched-waist breastplate that normally utilizes an hourglass shape (example below), and added subtle definitions that get the point across without sacrificing protective capabilities. Sure, it's still more form-fitting than real armour, but that's standard for From Software's stylized armour designs.

Next, the armour directly aligns with the character and setting it's found in/on. Rellana isn't some standard soldier; she's ex-royalty, which opens up a rarely-accessed avenue of historical precedent. The ceremonial armour of nobility was RIFE with impractical designs made only to show off. Enormous codpieces, crazy skirts, breastplates with sculpted pecs and abs, etc. (also see below)

Now, it's still impractical to FIGHT in ceremonial armour, but Carian Nobility (and ER as a whole) already has a well-established tendency of doing so. Plus, it aligns directly with what we know of Rellana's character: she's a wizard-princess turned warrior that really wants to catch the attention/affection of Messmer. Thus she wears armour that declares her as Knight, Noble, and Woman.

[queencatherineparr]

Jude Law as KING HENRY VIII with Alicia Vikander as QUEEN CATHERINE PARR

(Firebrand Promotional Material)

[radishprincesss]

⊹₊♚₊⊹

[kindercelery]

George IV was 5’4” (Or so i’ve heard)

[troythecatfish]

[haroldhearsawho]

Damian Lewis’ very first scene as King Henry VIII in Wolf Hall is him with Cromwell discussing invading France from Normandy. Tell me the writers didn’t do this on purpose lol

[gulnarsultan]

How would Catherine or Anna boleyn feel when the reader given birth to healthy triplets (2 boys and 1 girl) after she had Elizabeth also what yandere henry reaction to finally having the son he wanted???

Old Catherine is too smart to react too strongly. She feels disappointed and resentful. She is very afraid for his daughter Mary. She's worried about her daughter's throne. She prays that her daughter is not harmed and that she can ascend the throne.

Anne tried to get rid of the reader at first. She has endeavored to eliminate reader and babies without giving birth to babies. She will be very angry. She was jealous of your reader, but now she's too jealous. She will try to do something to get rid of the reader and the babies. But Henry will fail because he is too protective of the reader and his babies. They will soon be executed for their actions.

Henry was frustrated after Elizabeth's birth. Anne became pregnant again but gave birth to a stillborn son. This had exhausted Henry's patience. He was both angry and very angry. He finds happiness in the reader in a short time. Henry makes your reader her legitimate mistress. Henry is overjoyed when the reader becomes pregnant. He protects and cares for your reader throughout her pregnancy. He is very happy and proud when his healthy triplets are born. He had never been this happy in his life now that he had male heirs. He tells the reader how he is proud of her and loves his. He will marry the reader. He will declare the triplets heirs to the throne. No one can stop Henry.

[anneboleynqueen]

Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn in The Tudors (2007-2010)