#K Missing Kings The Stage

[itsuki-minamy]

Hi!^^ I'm looking for Japanese translators for the "Missing Kings" and "Return of Kings" stages. Those who can and/or want to help, do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you very much!^^

[hwashotcheeto]

𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒖𝒎 𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔

Part One: VIP Access

Park Seonghwa X gn!afab!reader

Summary: Once again, you get railed by your boyfriend while he's still in his stage persona. This time, at Coachella.

WC: 4.8k

CW: (Filthy) smut with fluffy aftercare (teeth rotting fluff I got carried away)

Names used on the reader: Sweetheart, sweetie, gorgeous, whore, slut, bitch, baby (Please let me know if I missed anything)

Smut warnings: Voice/auralism kink, glove kink(?), kissing, marking (reader receiving), hair pulling (reader and idol receiving), grinding, oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected PIV sex, nipple play (idol receiving), degradation, dumbification(?), overstimulation, creampie, reader experiences sub drop (Please let me know if I missed anything)

AN: I mean, come on, how could I not write about Seonghwa at Coachella?

It's not really a literal part two of VIP Access, but it is set in the same timeline (is that the right word?), so...I guess we're calling it part two, why not. I hope you all enjoy the (very self indulgent) filth I've cooked up. 💜

And @malldreamprincess helped with some of Hwa's especially filthy lines, so everyone say thank you to her. 💜

Tag List: @cherrycel @mxnsxngie @malldreamprincess @asjkdk

First it was the beginning of their world tour. 

Now it's Coachella. 

When Seonghwa told you months before that Ateez would be performing at the festival, you were over the moon for them. 

Your boyfriend and his group were the first K-Pop boy group to perform at Coachella.

The pride you felt was immense. They'd come so far in their career, and they’d only grow bigger and go higher from here. 

You were incredibly grateful to join them for their time at Coachella, being able to sneak in as one of their staff members to get premium access to see your boys on the big stage. 

And God, did they kill it. 

Every single one, brimming with confidence and raw brutal energy, walking, talking, dancing, singing, and rapping like the kings they were. 

From the outfits to the stage to the props to the set list, everything was as it should've been: Electrifying. 

But through it all, your eyes went back to Seonghwa. 

From his long wavy hair that looked like a lion's mane blowing in the wind, to his outfit showing off his chest, to the confidence that dripped from every word and movement, he'd never looked hotter. 

And that's saying a lot, because Seonghwa looks good and hot in every performance. 

You should've been focused on the music and the vibes. The screams of the crowd, the bass blaring from the speakers. 

But in the back of your mind, you were thinking about how badly you wanted Seonghwa to take you against a wall. 

Against a table, the floor, fuck, anyway he wanted, you'd take it. 

When Arriba came on, you started imagining being bent over that bar by him. 

Especially after their shots, God, could he ever be hotter than this? 

(Probably)

But Seonghwa’s voice?

You already adored his voice, you could listen to him talk about anything and everything forever. But his accent when he spoke English made you feel things. 

That coupled with his confidence and stage persona, you were thoroughly soaked by the end. 

When they finally concluded their set, you took off running to get backstage to see them. You frantically flashed your badge to anyone who tried to stop you as you made your way through the crowds around the equipment. 

Until your eyes finally landed on your boyfriend, who was also looking around for you as he was wiping the sweat off of his face. When you two made eye contact, Seonghwa’s face shifted into a sinister smirk that sent shivers all over your body. 

You ran the rest of the way to him and threw your arms around him to trap him in a tight hug. He returned it instantly, even if he was drenched in sweat and still out of breath. 

Honestly, the shine of his skin from the sweat made him look even hotter. 

“You liked the show, sweetheart?” Seonghwa asked you, reaching up to brush your hair back. You nodded as you looked up at him. 

“I loved it! You were amazing! You all were! I'm so proud of you!” 

And every word was genuine as you smiled up at Seonghwa. He shared it, as he too felt pride in his chest from the performance. It was a huge achievement to perform at a festival like this, and to have it go as well as it did? Even better. 

“Thank you.” Seonghwa kissed your forehead as his hand trailed down to your waist. He pulled you against his side as he began to walk offstage, bringing you with him. “I had so much fun, that was amazing.” 

“I could tell.” You leaned your head on him as you gazed up at him. All those sinful thoughts from before rushed back into your head. 

Especially as his gloved hand was holding onto your waist, your face right next to his exposed chest. Your heart skipped a beat as you imagined your face pressed right in the center- 

“I can’t wait to do it all again next week.” Seonghwa’s voice abruptly dragged you out of your fantasy, making you shake your head to erase the thoughts from your head. But Seonghwa saw how red your face is, and he knew it wasn’t just from the heat. 

You’d seen his outfit before he went on stage, and Seonghwa delighted in seeing your face flush bright red, even seeing it creep down your neck. 

He knew exactly how this night was going to end from the start. 

“My eyes are up here, you know.” Your face turned red as you snapped your head up to look at him. Seonghwa’s lips curled up in that damn smirk again as he held you tighter, pulling your face closer to his chest. “How rude, sweetheart.” 

You had no words as you looked at the ground, your whole body heating up and your stomach filling with butterflies. Seonghwa used his other gloved hand to hold your chin and tilt your head back up to look at him. 

“Let’s get back to the hotel quickly then, since you can’t seem to wait.” 

You nodded wordlessly, the lust and greed beginning to take over your brain. Seonghwa’s tongue ran over his lips as his thumb ran over your own. 

Even as you felt incredibly small and embarrassed next to him, this is exactly what you wanted. 

To have Seonghwa possessed by his stage persona and have his way with you. 

You walked into Seonghwa’s room first, leaving him to lock the door behind you. And as you turned around to look at him, he was staring at you like a predator who cornered their prey, with that devilish smirk still on his lips. 

You watched him as he slowly slid his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms, tossing it onto the bed behind you, all as he stalked up to you in an almost feline way. Slow, calculated, elegant. 

Just like Seonghwa. 

His arms looped around your waist and pulled you against his body, and already, you felt his half hard dick pressing against his pants and up against you. 

Your arms shot up to hold onto his arms as he leaned down to capture your lips in a needy, bruising kiss. One of Seonghwa’s hands went up to hold the back of your head to pull you in more and keep you in place. 

As if you’d ever pull away. 

You happily let his tongue slip inside your mouth and lick all over, pushing his way around, letting you swallow up all his deep, animalistic groans. 

When you dug your nails into Seonghwa’s skin, a growl came from deep inside his chest, and you’d snapped the thin leash that was holding him back. 

He reached down and grabbed the backs of your thighs to pick you up and drop you down on the bed, wrapping your legs around his waist as he leaned over you, giving him premium access to grind down against your sopping core. 

“Fuck, sweetie, you’re soaked,” Seonghwa groaned against your lips. “Is that all because of me? All for me?” 

You eagerly nodded, but Seonghwa clicked his tongue and gripped onto your hair, giving it a sharp tug. “Use your words, come on, tell me.” He leaned close until his nose was pressing against yours and his breath was against your lips. “Are you this wet because of me?”

“Yes, yes Seonghwa, it’s because of you,” you moaned out, still digging your nails into his biceps. You had a death grip on his waist to keep him where you needed him most. 

“Oh, it better be,” he mumbled as he leaned into your neck to suck a mark into your skin. Fire ran over your skin as his mouth worked to put purple blooms all over your neck. His claiming mark that you were his, all his. 

Your head was spinning as the pressure continued to build between your thighs from the constant friction on your clothed clit. You let out a strangled whimper as you reached up to pull on Seonghwa’s hair, forcing a groan out of him, along with an eye roll you couldn’t see. 

“Seonghwa, please, touch me,” you whined out desperately, trying to grind up with him for more. Seonghwa pulled back to look at you, his arms beside your head as he hovered above you. 

“But I am touching you.” His voice was low and breathy as he spoke, bordering on primal. Shivers ran across your skin again as his words invaded you and the feeling spread all over your body. 

“Seonghwa, I need you in my cunt.” 

“Isn’t that where I am already?” 

And he just ground into you harder, forcing even filthier noises out of both of you. A broken whimper shot from your lips as you pulled on Seonghwa’s hair again, throwing your head back into the plush hotel comforter. 

The pressure was only continuing to build, and it was slowly turning painful. Seonghwa knew it, because he was just as needy as you were. He was as hard as a rock, soaking his own pants through with pre cum, his whole body screaming with the desire to fuck you into the mattress. 

But Seonghwa wanted to hear you say it. He wanted you to beg. He wanted to hear how badly you needed him. 

“Please, take it off, fuck me, I don’t care, I need you so bad!” 

There it was. 

Seonghwa stood back up and gladly pulled your bottoms off, and before you knew it was happening, literally ripping your underwear off your body. 

At first, you wanted to tell him off for ruining your clothes, but at the same time, you couldn’t deny that it was incredibly hot that he was so desperate to have you, he ripped your clothes to get to you. 

And just like that, you were left bare before him. You nearly fainted when he looked at your cunt like it was the first meal he’d had in weeks, his eyes lighting up like stars and his tongue falling out of his mouth like a dog. 

God, you were so lucky to have a boyfriend who loved your cunt this much. 

You watched him sink to his knees in front of you, and he began to take off his velvet gloves, but you shook your head. 

“Keep them on,” you blurted, making him look up at you in surprise. 

“What?” He asked, not really believing what he was hearing. Your cheeks burned hot again as you looked off to the side. 

“Keep them on. I like them.” You mumbled the last part, but it was still clear enough for Seonghwa to hear. He still couldn’t really believe it, but at the same time, he didn’t mind it. 

“Alright, but you have to explain this to the stylists.” 

Seonghwa pulled the gloves on tighter before he wrapped his arms around your thighs. He yanked you forward so you were on the very edge of the bed, as close as he could get you. 

“Look at you,” Seonghwa murmured, “so beautiful. Aren’t I blessed to have such a pretty pussy for myself.” 

You could only whimper out his name as he licked from your entrance to your clit, taking his time to collect all your sweetness. His eyes rolled back into his head as he swallowed it, and tightened his hold on your thighs. 

“So delicious.” He went in for another long lick, closing his eyes as he did. “So sweet.” Another lick, this time focusing on your entrance to take in more. He groaned into your cunt before he swallowed again. “Fucking heavenly.” 

Even with the teasing licks, his voice was sending you to cloud nine. All his words, the tone of his voice, the breathy moans and groans, it was only making you even more needy for him. 

You reached down and gripped onto his hair at the roots, tugging gently, forcing another groan out of him as his eyes flicked up to you. Those damn siren eyes of his as his tongue was all in your cunt was enough to make you melt into a puddle. 

“Please, baby, don’t tease.” 

“Aww, am I making you wait too long, sweetie?” Seonghwa asked, almost in a mocking tone. Not quite, because you both wanted him to devour you as much as the other, but again, he loved to make you beg. 

You nodded shyly as you spread your legs wider. A silent invitation, and one that threw Seonghwa’s composure out the window. 

His gloved hands gripped onto you tighter as he dove back into your cunt, his mouth latching onto your clit and sucking harshly. A cry left your lips as you clung onto his hair and squeezed his head. 

He sucked like the last bit of air on Earth was inside you, desperately moaning into your cunt as he did. Just as your thighs began to shake, Seonghwa let go to use his tongue instead, flicking his tongue against your clit, watching your face as you clenched around nothing. 

You were crying out his name so loud, the members in the other rooms could hear you. He’d get an earful from them tomorrow, but that was for him to worry about later. 

Seonghwa let go of one of your thighs to reach up and slowly rub your entrance. The velvet against your core made fire race through your bones, and you clenched down instinctively. Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk as he continued to rub up against you, going back to suck on your clit again, only making you clench down harder. 

“Seonghwa,” you whined, almost in frustration. Seonghwa let out a soft “hmm?” as he looked up at you, blinking at you innocently. You nearly wanted to smack that look off his face, but all you could do was give him your best puppy eyes. 

You were lucky he’d do anything for you. 

Seonghwa released your clit and slowly sunk two fingers into your cunt, taking his time to make his way in and stretch you out. The feeling of the velvet inside you made you melt, your head and eyes rolling back in tandem. 

“Aww, maybe I do need to keep these,” Seonghwa mused, admiring your face for a moment before he looked back at your hole that was choking his fingers. “If you like it this much, my little slut.” 

A weak groan left your throat as your thighs trembled again. You were clenched down so tight on him. His cock twitched in his pants as he craved for that to be inside you instead. His pants were nearly completely soaked through, almost making him feel bad for whoever would be washing his clothes. 

Seonghwa slowly moved his fingers inside you, watching your face and body for any resistance or hesitation. But when all he got was your soft needy moans, he gladly went back to where he was prior. 

His tongue went back to attacking your clit as his fingers sped up inside you, reaching back and curling up into that sweet spot inside you. He found it in no time, and when he did, he latched back onto your clit and smirked. 

Over and over, his name fell from your lips as you clung onto his hair like you’d disappear if you let go. “Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Seonghwa!” as he sucked and licked at your clit, his fingers pumping inside you, slowly increasing his pace until your thighs were shaking around his head again. 

God, did he love that. His eyes fell closed as he worked on your cunt, savoring the taste of you, moaning at every tug of his hair and cry of his name. He could’ve stayed there all night, he could probably come just from devouring your delicious cunt. 

But Seonghwa couldn’t deny his precious little whore his cock. 

“Seonghwa,” you choked out, pulling him out of his thoughts. He flicked his siren eyes back up to you, not slowing down for a second. You opened your mouth to try and speak, but another tremor ran through you and cut you off with another cry. 

But you didn’t need to say anything, Seonghwa already knew what you were trying to tell him. He didn’t answer, he just kept at his pace to make you come all over his face. 

And in his head, he was saying everything he wanted to but couldn’t. 

Come for me, sweetheart, come on. Just for me, you can do it, drown me, pull my hair, hold me in, anything to make you come. Come on my face, gorgeous, please please please-

With one loud cry of his name, you squeezed his head as you came on his fingers, clenching down even tighter than before, pulling on his hair and keeping him where you needed him most. 

Seonghwa melted into your cunt with a whiny moan, fucking you through your orgasm, slowing down his movements until you came back down to Earth. 

He slowly pulled his fingers out and begrudgingly pulled away from your cunt. Part of him wanted to stay on his knees until they ached, making you come with his mouth and fingers until you saw stars and begged for the end. 

He’d done it many times before, after all. 

But he could feel the tiredness creeping up on him, and by the look on your face, you were feeling it too. 

So he’d save it for another day. 

Seonghwa slowly got up from the floor, and as you looked at him, shivers ran all over your body again. His mouth and chin were covered in your sweetness, glistening in the soft golden light of the lamps, his pupils blown out and his chest heaving. 

And as he looked down at you, his cock twitched with aching desire. You’re all spread out for him, your hair a mess, your face red, your pretty lips swollen. 

In that moment, you both got a sudden surge of energy, and you were back where you started. 

Seonghwa dove on top of you and smashed his lips onto yours, crawling onto the bed with you, one hand going up to cup the side of your neck and face, the other grabbing onto your waist and urging you up the bed. 

You grabbed onto the back of his neck as you kissed him back, moving up the bed like he wanted until your head was laid on the pillows. 

The kisses were pure desperation, teeth clinking against one another, spit all over your cheeks and chins, tongues wildly pushing and pulling against each other. With the savagery between you two, you couldn’t even call whatever you were doing kisses. 

All this while you were helping Seonghwa undo his belt and yank his pants down, just enough to free his cock, which was covered in pre cum with the tip an angry red. Seonghwa let out a soft whimper as the cool air hit him, his eyebrows furrowing in near pain. 

He pushed you back into the bed with a more firm kiss this time before he slowly sunk his cock into you, and you both let out cries of need as he did. 

Your eyes fluttered as your head hit the pillows, and Seonghwa’s face was nothing but relief as he slid all the way into the hilt, unsurprisingly, without resistance. 

“So fucking perfect,” he muttered as he leaned his forehead on yours. You nodded wordlessly before you reached up to press your lips to his again. Seonghwa moaned as he returned the kiss, his hands locking around your hips as he slowly began to move his hips. 

Your arms went up and wrapped around his neck, holding him as close as you could get him. Seonghwa gladly melted into all your touches, and for those first few moments, you were thinking he’d be going easy on you. 

Oh, how wrong you were. 

It didn’t take long before Seonghwa increased his pace, making sure he hit your sweet spot when he did. You broke off the kiss with a strangled cry and gripped onto his hair. Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk as he looked down at you, letting out a breathless laugh. 

“That feels good?” He panted out. “Yeah? Tell me, sweetheart.” Seonghwa took one hand off your hip and propped himself up beside your head, leaning as close as he could so he could stare into your eyes. “Come on, I want to hear you tell me how much of a whore you are for my cock.” 

The sudden change in tone makes you choke on nothing as your eyes flick back to him. All words left your head, which only made Seonghwa want to fuck you harder. 

Seeing you confused, at a loss for words, or better yet, unable to answer him because the pleasure is too much, was such a delightful sight. 

Just to make it harder, Seonghwa took his other hand and grabbed the back of your head again and pulled your face into his chest, holding you right where you imagined being because of his goddamn outfit. 

And you melted right into him, one of your arms instead wrapping around his shoulder to keep your face right between his tits. 

“Aww, look at that,” Seonghwa panted, tilting his head back, his eyes rolling back into his head. “There’s my little whore, you-Oh shit!” 

He cried out when he felt your mouth on one of his nipples, licking and sucking on it, his shirt pulled to the side for access. His dick twitched as he looked down at you with your eyes closed and brows pulled together, moaning and whining as you did. 

“Fuck, you are just a little whore, aren’t you?” You looked up at Seonghwa as he spoke, and it took everything in him to not melt right there on the spot. You hummed in answer, swirling your tongue around the sensitive spot before going back to sucking on it. “God, you’ll be the death of me.” 

Seonghwa gripped your head tighter and fucked you faster, desperately trying to keep up his rhythm through this thick cloud of pleasure he’d wrapped himself in, whiny moans falling from his pretty plush lips. 

But he was a little too quiet for your taste. 

You pulled back with a soft whine, which prompted him to look back at you in confusion. “Talk to me,” you whined, digging your nails into the fabric of his shirt. “Please, I love your voice.” 

Seonghwa knew that good and damn well. You could never get enough of his voice, you were always asking him to say the filthiest shit to you while he was ramming his cock deep inside you. 

Especially tonight, something about his accent when he spoke English was special. 

And like the good boyfriend he was, he provided. 

Seonghwa leaned close to your ear and made his voice low, coming from deep in his chest: “My desperate little whore really wants to hear my voice?” Chills ran over your skin just from that, and you were about to answer when he continued. 

“Did all that fucking talking on stage get to you that much? Oh, I got myself a slutty little bitch who turns into a puddle when she hears me talk. Lucky me.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t help but smirk when he saw your brain turn to mush from his words. He was about to mock you and comment on it when your started babbling back: 

“I do! I do, baby, I’m a slut for your voice! Everything you say, fuck-” And you were about to continue when Seonghwa leaned his forehead back on yours, staring back into your soul with a harder gaze than before. A cry left your lips as he began to ram his cock into you harder. 

“Yeah? You’re a slut period,” he ground out, letting go over your head to reach down to rub your clit. The velvet makes you yelp and jerk, but he keeps his thumb rubbing in circles. “A little whore for me, yeah?” 

“Yes,” you choked out, both your hands clinging onto his shoulders as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you. Seonghwa pressed his forehead into yours harder, pushing you further into the mattress, pinning you down. 

“You're a disgusting cheap whore,” he spat, rubbing your clit faster. “A dumb fucking whore that only thinks about my cock and nothing else. Only wanting to milk me dry, yeah?” 

Your vision was growing blurry from tears of overstimulation, but you found a way to nod and cry out “yes” through it all. Seonghwa was panting heavily now, his words breathy and his hips starting to stutter. You were both growing closer, but you were closer. 

Just a little more and you’d tip over that edge, that sweet relief that was right there. From all your squeaks and cries, and the way your cunt was gripping him like a goddamn iron vice, he knew it too. Just a few more words, just a few more seconds. 

“You just want me to stuff you full until you break,” Seonghwa breathed, “making you a goddamn mess for me to watch. A pretty little fucked out mess.”

As the words left his hips, you tip over and fell head first into your orgasm, clawing his back as it washed over you, screaming his name loud enough for people on the other floors to hear you. 

Seonghwa choked as you somehow clenched down even tighter. That mixed with your desperate, animalistic clawing of his back and cries of his name as the tears finally spilled down your cheeks, he was done for. 

“Oh sweetheart, yes, oh yes! That’s my love, oh fuck!” He babbled out, his voice growing more and more choked until he finally came deep inside you, crying out your name as he buried his face in your neck. 

You locked your arms around him and hugged him tightly, rubbing his back as he slowed down to an eventual stop. 

And as your orgasm faded, so did the euphoria of the moment, and you crashed back down to normal. 

Tears quickly filled your eyes and a sob left your lips, and before you could stop it, you were crying into Seonghwa’s shirt. 

Your loving boyfriend quickly took you in his arms and held you tightly against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you clung onto him like a small kitten, crying for it’s mother. 

“I got you, sweetie,” Seonghwa whispered, one of his hands slowly rubbing your back while the other held your head against him. “You did so good for me. You’re the best baby I could ever ask for.” 

The praise made you smile, and the tears began to slow. “Thank you,” you whispered back. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” He kissed your head again, this one longer than the last. A more loving kiss. You just smiled bigger as you nuzzled into his chest. 

You both stayed silent then, basking in the afterglow, slowly letting your bodies recover and come back down to Earth. Seonghwa’s hand still rubbed your back, and you played with his long, wavy, gorgeous hair. 

Outside your room window, the city was still buzzing with activity. Coachella, in the distance, was still going strong. 

But for those few minutes, you two were the only people in the world. Just you two, in that little hotel room, in each other's arms. 

For those brief moments, life was perfect. 

Seonghwa eventually broke the silence as he pulled away from you. “I'm so happy you came to this with me.” He pulled you up and helped you out of bed, helping you stand on your still weak legs. “It wouldn't have been the same without you.” 

You smiled up at him, and you saw a flush in Seonghwa’s cheeks. He couldn’t help it when you were looking at him like that. 

Like you held the whole universe in your eyes. Like he hung all the stars and moons in the sky himself. 

He was truly, irreversibly, madly in love with you. 

You both helped each other clean up and get changed before you turned out the lights and crawled back into bed. 

You couldn’t think of anywhere else you’d rather be. In your Seonghwa’s arms, your wonderful boyfriend’s arms. The boyfriend who loved you more than anything else in this life, the boyfriend who dreamed about you being his forever. 

And you thought the same about him. As you rested your head on his chest and closed your eyes, you thanked whatever higher power there was out there, the universe, whatever brought you to Seonghwa, for this life. 

“I love you, Seonghwa,” you whispered, hugging him tighter. Seonghwa smiled and kissed the top of your head again, squeezing you back just as tight. 

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

And again, everything else faded out, and you two were the only ones in existence. 

You were home. With him.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[demigoddessqueens]

Lucifer SFW

Just some A-Z SFW for the occasional adorkable King of Hell

Here on masterlist 10

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Super affectionate!! Peppers you with kisses and everything

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Chances are Luci would meet you if he’s ever visiting Charlie at the new hotel and sees you as one of the sinners living there

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’s the cuddle bug master, just holding onto you like glue

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I’d imagine as King of Hell has others for domestic tasks, but he enjoys the domestic life and wants that peace and love with it

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh he will NOT be handling breaking up well AT ALL 💔 like we’re talking tears and asking “did I do something wrong?”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Man’s still wears his wedding ring after a seven years divorce/separation, he makes good on his commitments

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Very gentle and loving, there’s an air of love to his aura around you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Those anaconda squeeze type of hugs and burying his head in your neck/hair.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Oh he wants to say it first so bad, but it all depends on when and how YOU want to say it, and Luci respects that

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Short fuse jealousy! Anyone so much as looks at you if you’re together and they’re getting smoted

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Passionate, deep kisses or quick little pecks

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Has a bit of an awkward charm to him that may be hit or miss with some kids

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are total “let’s just lounge in bed” all day type of thing

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are intimate and sweet, spending time together over a glass of wine

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I’d feel Luci would open up faster to you than you would, part of his loneliness, but he respects your boundaries

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’ll only be “angry” if someone tries to pull anything with you, but has considerable patience with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Luci can rattle off facts about you like it’s nobody business, just speaking about you adorably and what he loves about you

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you said “i love you” to him, he said it first a while back in the early stage

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Given how he is with Charlie, you are also important and incredibly precious to him and wants to protect you

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

You’re getting the full Royal Treatment from him. Gifts, candies, conjured flowers and trinkets and whatnot

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Maybe being a bit overly jealous or possessive of someone

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Well he is in charge of the Ring of Pride so he has to look good, especially if you’re coming over

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

In a way, yes. Lonely and a bit like “do you not like me anymore?”

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

If you’re a cooking type, I’d imagine Luci has a bit of a sweet tooth and loves all your baked goods

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Maybe like an overly nonchalant person or one who doesn’t communicate or open up themselves as he does

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleep starts off with cuddles, maybe some spooning, you as the big spoon most of the time

[ratskcoreddie]

finish what you started

(bully!eddie x fem!reader)

introduction: eddie had always been so mean to you growing up and had been getting progressivly worse with the coming years. now a senior you celebrated your last homecoming at a party you unwilling attended. you just hoped you wouldn't run into the man you dreaded most. [WC: 10k] this started as a request but developed into this monster. it wasn't really proof read and is all over the place but i really love it. check out the request @honeybelle99 sent here!

tropes: enemies to lovers. porn with plot. oblivious to love.

warnings & tags: 18+, bully!eddie, fem!reader, slight angst, self doubt, strong language, suggestive language, swearing, drinking, teasing, smoking, sexual tension, dominance, eddie is mean in a teasing way, nicknames, eddie being a simp, confessions, intoxicated sex, unprotected sex, this isn't proof read.

parings: bully!eddie x fem!reader.

you shouldn’t be here. you didn’t like parties in the first place. it was your boyfriend that had convinced you that you deserved a night out after a successful homecoming at hawkins high. it had been a long busy week for all the students and apparently now it was time to “let loose”. there were parties being hosted everywhere throughout the small town but the real rager was being thrown at steve harrington’s. anyone who knew someone, who knew steve, got in. it was why you had an invite. 

you yourself didn’t know steve much, but you had been a victim of his long time best friend, eddie munson. that awful man doubled as your sworn enemy. 

class of ‘86 had grown up together from pre-k to senior year. eddie had always been a year ahead of you until recently when he was held back. you dreaded that he had been pulled from graduating. the first three years of your high school career the asshole would pick on you. you thought you would’ve been free by now but you had underestimated his laziness and his determination to make every day for you living hell. you hated eddie munson. you hated how he treated you and his peers, how loud he was, how confident, you despised him. you couldn’t believe you still had an entire semester to go. and in the spring? you would be required to walk the same gradation stage as him. 

his sadistic personality towards you was awful. each of his actions had become a blur but you loathed the recurring events the most. between classes he would slam your locker shut in your face just to hear you let out a pathetic whine at him. he’d pick on you at lunch time by pulling you to the side and saying the most vulgar things in your ear. after a few sentences you would lose your appetite and he’d steal your lunch. always casually walking away with a statement of “love that i can count on you, babe”. in shared classes he would steal your answers or convince you to let him borrow your notes (only because he needed to copy them for a test).

besides the thought of his looming presence, the party was grand. there were jocks running up and down the stairs with paint on their bare chest, girls were on the kitchen counter letting strangers do body shots off of them, trashy red solo cups littered the halls, and you heard someone announce that ‘king steve’ was about to take on an entire keg by himself. grand it was, the environment was still to busy for you. further deducting you to someone who absolutely did not like parties. to make things worse the taste of liquor on your tongue wasn’t muffling the impact of the overstimulation one bit. 

you took another shot before you moved to the back door of steve’s home. you made an exit hoping to catch some fresh november air. regain your composure before going back inside to bum a ride off of anyone. your boyfriend had been missing in action for over an hour. pulling open the door gave you a sense of relief, as you pushed it shut the sounds of the crowd muffled. you took a step out onto the grass. it helped that this new environment was quiet, better yet, it lessened the chances of bumping into eddie. 

so you thought.

you should’ve known you would’ve found him there. eddie wasn’t a fan of parties either due to his social class. he was sitting under a tree across the yard with a freshly lit joint in his mouth. you watched him from a few feet away. his sudden presence had made you wish to turn and run from him. he lifted his head slightly at you and gave you a sick grin. you could only stare. it was just the two of you in the dark yard. how reserved you both were from the rest of the student body made chills run up your spine. rumors weren’t sparse when it came to the devilish boy and he was always such an asshole to you at school. because of his behavior, a feeling of dread always sat at the bottom of your stomach. you couldn’t help but wonder if what you overheard was true. you had to face that reality being alone with him. part of you grew excited at the thought of being able to lash out at him now that he didn’t have his friends or a crowd of onlookers to perform for. the idea of giving him a taste of his own medicine pumping adrenaline through your body. 

he grinned like a cheshire cat. his eyes sparkled at you under the moonlight. eddie continued playing with the joint between his teeth, rolling it with his tongue every once in a while. “what are you doin’ out here, sweetheart?” he laughed at you. “get lost looking for someone..?” he paused, “or were you looking for some trouble”. the lighter he must’ve used to light his smoke was dancing between his fingers. light from the moon was reflecting off of the silver as it sparkled. the object looked so small in his big hands.

you were quiet on your feet as you walked closer. you watched as the once seated tall dark figure moved to stand. he was just a shadow when you spotted him from the backdoor but as he moved the light of the house illuminated him. it wasn’t on purpose that you found him, it was more like fate. your curiosity urged you to find out what he was doing at the far end of the backyard. your mind raced as you began to think of what to say to him while you both slowly inched closer. before you even had time to think he was in front of you. he crossed his arms and snapped his lighter shut. you jumped. the action made him chuckle at you. the sound was low and from the depths of his chest. he puffed out his chest. 

you puffed your chest back and glared at his nonverbal teasing. you thought you had caught a glimpse of nervousness on his face at your actions but that couldn’t be true. the two of you stared at each other for a bit. you couldn’t tell because of his hard exterior but eddie’s heart began to race. he had been drinking throughout the night too and being intoxicated always made his brain a little hazy. “hi, eddie”, you barked at him. 

he liked the way you said his name in that tone. it was why he always pried and picked on you. you noticed his suggestive glance as he looked you up and down. a predatorial glint was swimming in his eyes. he wouldn’t ever admit it but he was hoping he would see you tonight, and god he was so glad the stars aligned. you were wearing a cute outfit. a swallowing brown patterned sweater on your frame, and hip hugging blue wide cut jeans. a jacket that was lined with fleece to keep you warm sat rested on your shoulders while your big boots tied the look together. eddie never understood what came over him when you were around but it was almost like you boosted his testosterone levels. the need to have dominance over you was astounding. he felt overly confident.

his adrenaline mixing with the alcohol in his body was dangerous. 

“hi, pretty girl..” eddie bent slightly down to your eye level with his words. as he moved he puffed smoke out of the corner of his lip at you. you swatted it out of your face and coughed away from his direction to shield your embarrassment. after you had regained your posture you looked up to find the man leaning over your frame and laughing.

“hey!” you jabbed him in the chest with your finger to warn him to back up. he didn’t move an inch. “you’re such an ass, eddie. i wasn’t going to run away from you and give you the satisfaction this time. i wanted to be nice”. he giggled, “oh, baby i'm so so sooo sorry i’ve ruined your plans of being nice to me” he teased. “you wanna start over, doll? we can try again. promise ill be good for ya this time”. he smiled stupidly while standing up straight and waiting for your next greeting. his irises were dark and shielded by his eyelashes as he stared.

“i.. what are you doing out here?” you questioned him instead of offering a greeting like he thought you would. “oh, now you’re interrogating me? can i remind you that you were the one that walked out here and to me? i didn’t even have to whistle you over here”. he said the last statement as if you were some pet to him. “no, i'm not interrogating you, eddie. unless there’s something you shouldn’t be doing out h-...”, your words slowly died on your tongue as he raised an eyebrow and pulled the lit joint away from his damp lips. he laughed at your speechlessness, your body tensed. 

“mhm”, he let the lit smoke fall to his side as his fingers pinched it tight. “wanna know a secret?” you slightly nodded. “i think you wandered out here to me because you’re nosey… you wanna know what the town's misfit gets up to when he’s not picking on his favorite girl, baby?” he gave you a wolfish smirk. you sent him a death stare at his gross pet names. “oh, don’t look at me like that, you know i love when you’re all pouty for me..” eddie lifted his hand to take his third or fourth drag of the night. 

“god, you’re so gross. i'm so glad i won't have to hear your stupid insults when you leave next semester..” you tone was a whisper though you meant it. eddie acted overly insulted. “oww, words hurt, you know? it’s really rude to say something like that to someone that’s been such a constant in your life”, he smiled. you pushed a flat palm into his chest with as much force as you could muster. “oh so it’s fine for you to call me names?? but as soon as i do it your act crumbles?” you knew he was being sarcastic with his comment but it set you off, you continued, “i hear it almost everyday, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘doll’, and what about your favorites huh? ‘whore’, ‘slut’. what about those words, eddie?” each vowel you said was a blow to his chest. he stepped back from you but not before he grabbed your wrist to stop your assaults. he pulled you into a close proximity with his burning grip. 

eddie had subtly and secretly pulled his hand holding his joint away from you, careful not to inflict a burn on your delicate skin. he would hate himself if he caused an accident like that but he didn't let his tenderness for you shine through his knives of assertion. “hey! you watch it!”, eddie growled at you. his tone almost shut your body down. you could tell he was mad now. “i only call you a whore because you deserve it. always fucking sucking face with your piece of shit boyfriend. i think you need the judgment. maybe if i keep it up i’ll see it less and less, hmm?” you cowered under his gaze and trembled in his grip. “oh i know why you came to find me now, you wanted to get me alone so you could take it all out on me didn’t you? wanted to give me a taste of my own medicine”. eddie read your mind. his grip loosened on you but you didn’t dare move. “whatever … an- and.. he can’t fucking kiss you anyways, such a slob with you”. he mumbles.

eddie didn’t elaborate his statement but he let it linger. it hung in the air over the both of you as he glanced at your lips. you caught him but he didn’t care, he studied them. they were damp with your hot breaths in the cold, almost winter air. he was breathing in what you were exhaling. he could smell your pretty perfume and shampoo. you felt your heart begin to race and your cheeks heated up the space between your bodies. he couldn’t shy away from his own doing the same. you wiggled against him to shift your body weight onto your other foot. he didn’t like your struggle. you felt him move his own feet with yours, eddie’s big boots boxing you in even more. you felt his hard metal belt buckle dig into the side of your hip. his cuff of his leather jacket was cold on the exposed skin of your wrist he continued to hold.

eddie smiled childishly at you. the new expression was something you hadn’t seen from him before. you moved your chin down to avoid his stare but as you pulled away, he just as easily let your wrist go and instead gripped your chin. with his thumb and pointer finger he held you. you fought to keep your eyes away from him to the best of your ability. eddie huffed, he pinched your face harder. “look at me”, as soon as you did you wished you hadn’t. his look was determined and sultry. his bangs framed his face messily. you had never been this close and his features were easy to get lost in. he was pretty, which was such a huge inconvenience for you to realize now that you were alone, it was dark, and he was this close. “don’t go shy on me after having that burst of attitude. c’mon you wanna give it to me? then give it to me, baby”. 

your thoughts raced back to your boyfriend. you shouldn’t have been talking with eddie like this. you pulled away from him and turned your head back to the sliding glass doors of steve’s house. they looked so far away. when you looked back at eddie your eyes were wide. you noticed his tongue twirling the joint between his lips. waiting for a response from you. you dared to indulge. his gaze fell to your lips again. his cheeks burned red when he felt your stomach slightly bumping into his own. you stole a look at his lips like he had moments ago. you watched him nervously wet his lips. your cheeks blushed even deeper. eddie smirked at you and tested the waters of your new expression. he stuck out his tongue further and licked his sharpest canine tooth. you were mesmerized.

your stomach flipped. you wondered what he was thinking. “what do you know about kissing?” you blurted out without thinking. eddie coo’d at you “i know far more than your stupid boyfriend, i guarantee it.” eddie said with confidence. he crossed his hands over his chest, now that space was granted between you. you mirrored his actions and your forearms grazed his. you shrugged his suggestive gesture off. you were certain he was just bluffing. his rough exterior surely scared any girls he tried to smooth talk away, as he had tried many times with you. 

but now you weren’t scared, now you were looking to pick a fight. you decided to ignore his comment about his kissing skills to avoid yourself from growing more hot. this conversation could easily take a more suggestive turn if you urged him on, and you weren’t going to let him win the stand off. you wracked your brain for ways to shut him down before speaking again. your next sentence tried to change the subject, but it definitely fell short.

“you’re right. he’s a shit kisser, but that’s none of your business and you don’t have to be mean about it.” the drinks you had doubled as truth serum. he whined pathetically at you, “wasn’t trying to be mean. if anything you’re being mean to me for a change.” you frowned, “seriously?”. “yeah, you told me i'm ‘such an ass’ and then started hitting me.. don’t think i deserved that. you’re so cold hearted, you know?” he giggled.

the playful banter you shared made you both smile. the absurdity of your dynamic was so dramatic. the buzz was hitting your system hard and he was right there with you. you watched eddie as he bent down at the waist to grab his almost empty beer off of the ground. he must’ve been babysitting that while outside by himself. when he raised back up he tilted his head back and drank the rest of the can. you watched his adam’s apple bob up and down while he chugged the golden liquid. a bit fell from the corner of his lips and down his throat. you watched as it dripped down to his shirt collar. when you reached the edge of the garment you noticed a tear. under the rip was his sharp collar bones. his pale skin contrasted against the darkness. you noticed a dark inky black line through the split of the aged t-shirt. it peeked at you. when he was done eddie dropped the can. 

when he connected your eyes to his quicker than you could register, eddie noticed you watching him intently. the fresh liquor in his system gave him another boost of confidence. he stepped to you. the distance between you two closed just mere inches between your bodies in a now comfortable silence. his frame was large, his body casted a shadow that consumed you. you had always thought there wasn’t much of a height difference between you two, but now you weren’t as sure. no matter the inches and centimeters you tried to think about, the numbers didn't help to busy your brain. you knew even if there was a large difference, eddie was sure to make you feel small under him in anyway. that's how it has been your entire life.

you watched his left hand raise between your bodies and to his lips. still holding onto his darling joint. he submitted to placing it once again between his teeth. the hot cherry on the end was slowly dying because of the icy outdoors. you blushed as he caught you stealing another glance at his lips. you seemed so intrigued by him now, not angry or upset. eddie realized you weren’t just looking at his lips for no reason. the tension he craved was there. the tension he thought he would never be a witness to snap. he was always so desperate for you to see how badly he wanted your attention but it was hard for him to express his feelings and he knew it was even harder for you to catch onto his rude ass behavior translating to him flirting. he didn’t blame you for hating him after all these years, he hated himself for it.

your attentiveness caused his body to ignite. you wanted something more now, and he so desperately wanted to provide anything to you. he wished he could read your mind to know what you were thinking. his eye contact didn’t budge from yours as he slowly pulled his lighter back out of his pocket. when his fingers couldn’t quite grab a hold of it his eyes trailed away from yours and down to his jeans.

“fuck.” he grunted.

you felt frozen. the vulgar word was said in just a breathy whisper, it gave you goosebumps. not in a bad way like before, just different. he grabbed his lighter and put it between the two of you. his tone was gentler because of how close he was. making sure that you would know he wasn’t directing the term towards you and instead the inconvenience his overly tight pants were causing him.  his hot breath brushed over the sparked flame putting it out and in its path you felt it on your cheek. he clumsily tried to light it again. 

after the constant spin of the wheel and the strain of his hands, his actions snapped you out of your daze. when you realized he was trying to spark a flame. you let out a sweet giggle. eddie looked at you before watching you take the lighter away from him. he gave you a glare while you continued to laugh at him softly. it was directed at him but he didn’t feel spiteful like he usually did when people laughed at him. eddie craved to have you laugh at him, craved to be the sole reason he heard that sound fall from your lips. 

he was so soaked up in each of your expression  as you moved in front of him with his lighter in your hands. eddie left out a small grunt when his fingers lightly brushed against yours. he wouldn’t have caught it himself if you hadn’t pointed it out, “stop whining, let me help you”. he willingly let you take it into your hands. he was quite possessive over his belongings so him letting you just snag his lighter was a very big deal to him. the contact of your hands made shivers go down his spine. 

his hands were warm compared to yours. the only contrast was his cold rings. in one motion your small thumb sparked the flame of the lighter. he looked back up and your eyes met once again. eddie motioned his hand to take it away from you as he nodded appreciatively, but gave you a confused look when you wouldn’t give it back. you swatted his hands away. you held the lighter in your right hand. the flame burned. you moved your vacant left hand onto his lips slowly. your palm touched the bottom of his chin while your cold fingers pinched the joint out of his mouth. your fingers lingered on his lips longer than they should have.

in an instant eddie’s confidence shattered. he let your motions continue as he was stuck watching you. his cheeks burned a brighter red then the flame. you gave him a smirk as you placed his joint between your lips. successfully stealing it from him. you tasted eddie, the damp end was sweet but there was a touch of beer that laced the end of it. your hands cupped the flame while relighting the smoke for him.

you snapped the zippo shut. his jaw dropped. 

eddie watched you spark a bright red cherry between your lips with your lungs. you inhaled the smoke easily, and pulled it away from your lips. eddie turned away from you to avoid your eyes, he was flustered. his jeans tightened around his groin. he tried to not think about your soft, plush, lips that stole his joint. he felt you pull his chin back to face you with your index and thumb, just like he had previously. your hand on his face startled him, your touch was cold. he almost let a sigh leave his chest, but he held it back. you moved in just a bit closer before a big cloud of smoke left your throat and puffed into eddie’s face. the boy began coughing while you laughed. when the cloud cleared you noticed eddie hadn’t really moved away from where he stood. he liked how close he was. you pulled the joint away from your mouth while looking into his eyes. you spoke in a sultry whisper, eddie barely heard you.

“you know, you really shouldn’t be smoking these. kills your brain cells.” you said softly. “oh, yeah? and what do you know about smoking?” he teased. “far more than you’d imagine, munson. I guarantee it.” you mocked his earlier jab at you about your boyfriend.

your comment reminded eddie of the conversation you previously shared. he gulped, lost in thought while he watched your hand raise back up to your face. you inhaled deeply, the musky taste of the plant covered your tastebuds. when you exhaled you turned your face away from him. eddie was in a daze. his eyes trailed up and down your features. you turned your face back to his, luckily you didn’t catch him that time, he would’ve died of embarrassment. your faces were a little more than inches apart. 

he wished he could have the strength to get closer. to really close the distance. this wasn’t like him. he never dared to come onto you intimately, scared of rejection, and he definitely never expected you to have the courage to stay so near. after he had been tearing you down for years it was surprising. he always knew you were strong willed but this was another level. he didn’t know if you wanted to get to know this eddie munson. the eddie he hid from everyone, the eddie that he acted like a hardhead because he had to. now he couldn’t be mean as he melted at your soft gaze. the poor boy had imagined what he would do if he ever ended up in a position like this with you. on several occasions it was after a long week of classes, in his own bed with his hand between his sweaty thighs. 

his blissful stare gave you the confidence to speak again. you had no clue what came over you but you decided to be alluding. it could’ve been the mood that you two found yourselves wrapped up in. or the unspoken tension. you knew this was bad. your boyfriend that hated eddie more than you was only ten or so feet away, partying in the house behind you. you weren’t the only victim to his constant bullying and degrading speech. and in the stance you were both in if anyone caught you it could be horrific. 

you threw your cares to the wind and continued.

“i like smoking. keeps my mouth busy.” you whispered looking at his lips and taking a puff. eddie paused. all of the blood in his body rushed south. you watched him try to gather himself. his stomach was in knots at your words. he almost short circuited when he realized you were being even more suggestive than before. you were blatantly flirting with him. a growl left his throat. his head lolled to the side. his neck was exposed again. 

your eyes traced his neck with curiosity. you wondered if he was sensitive there. what it would be like to lick your tongue up and down the veins bulging out. he looked down at his hands to avoid your glance. you eyes followed. you watched him clench his fist till his knuckles went white. his sparkly rings glistened under the light the moon supplied. he quickly shoved his hands in his pockets. fighting the urge to reach out and grab you. that's when you saw how his already bulge hugging jeans were swollen. you averted your gaze embarrassingly. you didn’t know he was this easy to get worked up. when you looked back up at him. his shoulders trembled and he let out a deep breath. the whites of his eyes glowing as he closes off more distance between you and him. his voice was drawn out in a low mumble, almost strained. his whispered in the vicinity of your ear. chills rushed down your spine as his grunts made your tummy turn.

“you’re fucking killing me, sweetheart”, he almost moaned. “i bet i could keep your pretty mouth busy all night. even better than your boyfriend”. eddie coo’d. “...you think I'm supposed to believe you know a lot about girls and their mouths, munson?” you mumbled around the smoke. “i’d love it if you’d let me show you…” he paused for a brief moment.

eddie moved his right hand and opened his palm to touch you. his fingers wrapped around to your jawline. his hand was massive when it fully surrounded your face. his touch was slow and deliberate. his rings were cold, the metal almost stung your face. his fingers danced across your features with purpose. eddie’s thumb touched the bottom of your face. your movements followed his direction. his index finger met your top lip and his middle tugged on the corner of your mouth. your lips stayed closed anticipating his next move before you realized he was pinching the smoke out of your mouth just like you had done to him moments ago. you were stunned. 

eddie was tugging at the joint with his delicate fingers. he giggled at how easy you were, but before letting go of the joint with your lips you stared up at him with your eyes. he watched you intently. your cheeks went hollow as you sucked on it and inhaled one more hit. eddie had never been so jealous of a joint in his life. you watched eddie’s eyes slowly roll into the back of his head at your actions before he closed them. he shamelessly moaned. your chest tightened at the noise. the cherry of the joint burned a bright red as he released it from you. 

eddie rushed to inhale the remnants of your taste with his own hit. you both had reached the last of it. he turned his head away kindly to exhale the smoke but his eyes stayed fixed on you and your lips. his fingers flicked the ash of the smoke onto the ground and stopped it out. your eyes sparkled at him. you hummed a soft note innocently before he reached his hand back up to your face. his grip was stronger this time, like how it had been when he was mad at you. eddie moved his fingers from your cheek to the bottom of your lip rudely. his thumb pulled at your bottom lip. you drooled onto his fingers as he blew smoke into your throat. 

he exhaled, you inhaled. 

it tasted like eddie. he felt your spit on his fingertips before he released you. your bottom lip wetly snapped back in place as he dragged his thumb downwards. his eyes stayed fixed on your plump slobbery lips as his irises burned with the smoke rising. he could think of thousands of things he wanted to do to you and your pretty face. his fingers remained on your chin. holding your face towards him.

“oh, you're gonna get me in a lot of trouble. i just know it.” he purred. “why’s that?” you questioned.“...don’t tell me you forgot about your boyfriend already, baby?” he paused.

you heart stopped. the way he called you baby now made your thighs clench together. he smirked as your cheeks glowed red. the strain you two had been sharing always calmed eddie down. it seemed to have the opposite effect on you. all your senses were heightened as it buzzed in your body. your mind was on overdrive. you wanted eddie bad. but as quick as you realized you needed him his hand left your chin. the touch lingered. it was electric. you lost yourself in the moment. your eye’s closed before you let out another soft hum and giggle. the strain turning all your nervousness into making you loopy. eddie raised his eyebrow at you, questioning your motives. you realized you hadn’t answered him. 

“y– yeah. you’re uhm…”, a pause, “right. i should get back to him. don’t want him finding out about this.” you whimpered. “uh-huh, that's right, baby”. eddie laughed at you.

your body stayed still. he brushed some of your hair out of your face to get one last look at you. the quick movement brought you back down to earth. he stared, no, began glaring into your eyes as you looked at him with a fucked out expression. he was leering at the sight of you. his gaze was filthy. you gasped as he experimentally traced his fingers on your skin. his touch started at your lips where he had played before, but he didn’t stop there. he moved his big heavy hand down to your jawline, and then your neck, and onto the collar of your sweater. his touch barely danced on your skin. he listened as you whimpered when he moved one finger down the center of your chest and then it was snuggled onto your hip. 

his grip was needy and harsh. it resembled how your lousy boyfriend would paw at your hips when he wanted something from you. the difference was your body willingly moved with eddie’s grip. you were basically throwing yourself at him. his hand moved under your sweater. his touch was cold on your warm sides. half of his hand stayed fixed on your skin, the other on the waistband of your cute jeans. he didn’t want to seem too eager, but his grip was tight and aggressive. he pulled you into his chest by your waist and your arm gripped onto his big shoulder that was guarded by his leather jacket. his head was almost buried in your neck at the soft sudden embrace he whispered in your ear.

“you should really get back to him. i think it would be better for both of us if i left. what do you think?” he whispered. you couldn’t think. the only thing that was on your mind was eddie and how he was holding you. he infiltrated your thoughts. you arm tightened around his frame. physically begging him to keep you here. he listened to you whimper into his chest at his question. you felt his jeans tighten on your thigh. he whispered into your ear again, 

“fuckkk, sweetheart… you making those pretty sounds for me? barely even touched you”, he teased. things were moving too fast. you slowly broke away from his grasp to ground yourself. he looked down at you with consolidating eyes. if this continued on you wouldn’t know what could come of it. you both weren’t very sober either. your cheeks were almost purple as you looked up at him with a hazy stare. he smiled. you just nodded. scared of what you might say next. 

he figured you pulling away was his cue to leave, so he started to walk back towards the house. the foot of distance that was put between you two helped cut the tension. you couldn’t tell but under his skin he was a mess. eddie was secretly glad that he had a few too many drinks and a joint. he wouldn’t have been able to face you like that otherwise. he heard you let out a small sigh with your exhale. your hand that was holding him fell to your side. 

truthfully he tried walking away. but he felt your eyes watching his back and the idea of moving forward without acting on his fantasies was enough for him to suddenly still. your eyes followed his movements as he turned around. the next actions were fast. his big arm moved past your head and grabbed the back of it. with you in his control it allowed his other hand to wrap around your throat and constrict. the feeling of the tingles caused by the weed mixed with the overstimulation from his touch made you delusional. he listened to you whimpering in fear as he imposed on your personal space again. he let out a devilish chuckle. he opened his mouth slowly to say his next words. they came quickly but you spoke before he could.

“you’re s–” he was cut off. “do you want to kiss me?” you choked out.

eddie paused, the soft question seemed so innocent. he knew that if he did kiss you he wouldn’t be able to stop himself soon after. it would be long and messy. he also couldn’t promise that he could fight off the urge to do more to you. he put some reasoning into his own head. it was totally irresponsible to kiss you right now. you both were standing in a vast open yard, intoxicated, and not in the best headspace. it was the drugs and liquor talking, not you, no way you wanted this. he had to shamefully admit, if he was gonna kiss you and make it count now would be the best moment. 

he felt his cock stiffen as he watched you purse your lips. his mind wandered to how you would feel wrapped around him like that with a pretty pout and puff kissed lips. he wanted to know what you would do if he pushed you up against his body and embraced you fully. he wanted to sloppily lick up and down your neck and hear the noises he could spawn from your throat. his eyes consumed your mouth as he processed what his next move would be. he had thought about this moment just hours before steve’s party. your eyes looked so sparkly as a blush crawled up your neck and onto your cheek bones as you waited for his answer. you wet your lips with your tongue. knots were in his stomach. 

he grunted, “shit.. it doesn’t matter how bad i wanna kiss you”, he paused, “and it doesn’t matter that i think you're the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen. this wouldn’t work. i’ve been such a dick to you. you deserve better than someone like me”. you thought that was funny coming from him considering how much eddie hated your boyfriend.

his eyes continued watching the mouth he desperately wanted to kiss before you started to speak. “tha-..”, he glared at you before raising his index finger onto your lips. he applied a little pressure. he watched as they pushed out and around his finger. he smirked while shushing you. he thought back to how you looked with your cheeks hollowed out sucking on his joint again. his soft hands felt so good on your face. you weren’t going to fight him on this, you never wanted this moment to end. 

before you could stop yourself your lips opened slightly, inviting him in to play with your tongue. he groaned as he felt you kitten lick his finger gently. he didn’t pull away. his dick was sore with how much you two had been teasing each other back and forth. he fought every urge to shove his index down your throat to really feel it. he continued talking to you. his tone was mean and messy, laced with dominance. you loved this eddie, you didn’t care that he was mean. 

“.. shhh… you really do love keeping that mouth busy don't you…”, he teased, “i was right about you being a little whore..  hmm?” eddie raised his eyebrow at you. pulling his wet finger back onto your lips. he played with your top and bottom lip slowly before he adjusted his hand. his thumb was pushing at your bottom lip, testing if you were gonna welcome the other digit into your mouth. you stuck your tongue out fully at him. he placed the pad of his finger onto the wet warm muscle and you took it into your mouth. you looked at him with eyes that put him in a trance. you were successfully distracting him from pulling away from you. he tasted like all the things you loved about a man, but it was uniquely eddie. warm, salty, and a hint of beer he must’ve spilled on his hand earlier. sucking on him slowly he moaned. 

“oh. fuck. me.” whining between words. he watched you for a second before trying to speak again. “do you… do you really want this as bad as i do?” his face was so close. you watched his chest rise and fall as his breath invaded your space. you smelled the musky combination of liquor and smoke on his tongue. he looked longingly into your eyes waiting for you to say something. you continued to play with him. you must have stood in silence for far too long because eddie spoke for you. his tone was heavy. you watched his lips move with his words. while his fingers toyed with yours.

“baby?’ he asked. you just nodded and sucked harder.

he giggled while rotating his soaked thumb on your tongue. “hmm, what’s the matter, that sweet mouth of yours doesn’t wanna be so mean anymore does she? poor thing. how devastating, i love hearing your pretty noises.. and whines… and pouts. you just need something to fill you up, don’t you?”. eddie clicked his teeth in dissatisfaction as your tongue continued to play with his salty finger. you shook your head at him like a child. telling him you didn’t wanna talk and would rather do this. you were scared of what you would say anyways. the man smirked at you before moving closer to whisper something in your ear. as he spoke softly you reminded yourself this was your sworn enemy. never did you think he could make you so hot. never did you think you would let something like this happen.

eddie was fully in control as he spoke to your empty mind. when his lips barely touched your earlobe you could hear his breath. it made your head spin. that was the closest he had been to you. you felt his hot exhale on your neck. his tone when he said his next words were laced with evil. “tell me, what is it that you want out of this? i can tell you’re touched starved.” his breath grazed your ear again, his lips fell to your jaw and he kissed you there. “mhm,” eddie groaned. “your boyfriend isn’t taking good care of you and your mouth is he?” eddie paused. “because if he was, i bet you’d have way less of an attitude with me all the time.”

this was a dangerous game you two were playing.

you moved your hands between your bodies. the tip of your finger grazed the hem of his shirt and slightly pulled it up. you felt the path of hair that guided you into his pants. eddie winced at the action. he pulled away from you slightly to give your hand room to slip into his waistline. you looked down at his jeans, realizing he was about to pop the zipper on them. you wished it was a bit brighter so you could see exactly what he was packing. there was really no need because you could feel him in your hand. he groaned into the skin of your neck and started leaving messy open mouth kisses in his wake. when you curved your hand just right he whined. “ohh… fuckk”. 

eddie grabbed your hand away from his body and instead rushed to pick you up. you yelped and giggled as he drug you back to his bestfriends house. “what.. what are you doing, eddie?” he let out a gruff laugh. “finishing what you started”. his boots stomped on the ground as the pitter patter of your own soles tried to keep up with his. when you both had arrived back inside the party was in its last stage. he rushed you through the doorway and then into the kitchen. bodies were passed out on the livingroom floor. cans were both empty and spilled all over the stairs that eddie was leading you up. there was a door that had a sock on the doorknob in the hall that led to the guest bedrooms of the large home steve and his absent family stayed in.  

he threw open a door to a room he knew wouldn’t be occupied because steve always kept a room reserved for eddie and robin when they stayed over. as he manhandled you he slammed the previously open door and pushed you against it. he looked into your eyes. “..this okay, yeah?” he huffed. his chest raised quickly anticipating your answer. “ye-..”, the reassuring words hadn’t even left you before he was swallowing them down. 

eddie forced the searing kiss onto your lips while he groaned. it was all tongue and teeth as you both fought to taste each other. he grabbed you cheeks to keep you steady while he studied each curve and imperfection of the lips he had always wished to kiss. he traced his tongue though your crevices. you were everything to him. he had secretly been starving for this very moment since he had a sample of your taste from his damp joint you bummed. your spit teasing him. 

though he was rough with you his hands were gentle. he held your face softly and pawed at your hips. it was easy for him to maneuver around you and unbutton your jeans. you were both so desperate, but eddie was pathetic. he was whining and moaning while grinding against your thigh. he pulled away with a soft bite on your bottom lip. he lifted you up by the waist and carried you from the door and further into the room till your back was met with the guest bed. he grabbed your ankles as you fell back and pulled your pants down just enough to where he could see the tiniest bit of your panties.

eddie bites his lip softly, smiling to himself. he had been wanting to get you into this position since the beginning of his toments. eddie crawls up your frame as he slowly pulls your jeans completely down. his arms wrap around and spread your thighs. your head unwillingly fell backwards. the muscles of your neck strained. you felt him leave a gentle kiss on your covered clit. it wasn’t much, but it was enough to drive you insane. he laughed with his face close to your center. his hot breath so close gave you another sensation of how crazy this was. eddie teased you with his fingers over the fabric making your thighs clench together around his head. blocking his view and slowing his moments. 

“ah.. you keep those legs open or we’re stopping… been thinking ‘bout this too long.” he hooks his strong arms around your calves. he forces you into the position easily. eddie wasn’t being dramatic. he had been dreaming about this for years and now he wasn’t gonna let you move an inch. you let him hold you. 

you hated him. you loved this. 

you cupped your hand around your mouth to try to stay quiet. as soon as you did, eddie raised over you and pulled it away harshly. he laid your palm flat and open over your head. “none of that either.. talk to me, doll. let me hear you…” he demanded with a sultry tone. “yes, eddie..” you nodded and then he kissed you. the kiss this time was softer and laced with feeling. 

“that’s a good girl… such a good girl”, he murmurs the words to himself as he makes his way back down. “your boyfriend ever do this for you baby…?” eddie possessively played with the hem of your panties while purposely teasing your lips. you answer him with a small whine. “..no..”, you lean forward to watch him. he grins at you like a devil. eddie slides his fingers under your panties, rubbing your slick around your mess. “oh god.. you.. you were this wet for me while we were out there talking weren’t you?” all you could do was nod. he slowly hooks his fingers onto the straps of your panties and pulls them off to expose you to him fully. his breath hitched, you heard it. the damp fabric moving from your hips down to your thighs and past your ankles makes you roll your eyes back and instinctively buck your hips towards him. as your panties had moved down, his lips now moved up. a kiss on your ankle, a harsh bite on your inner knee, a wet suck and pop of his lips on your inner thigh. 

“gonna make you feel so good, you’re gonna feel so good cause of me, baby. no one else, m��kay?” eddie opens your legs wide again so he can indulge himself. he grunts as he gets a good look at you. he kisses your exposed clit and sucks deeply. his eyes roll back at the taste. soft, messy sounds start to fill the room from your dripping wet pussy and his sloppy tongue. you could subtly hear the grind of his hips against the spring mattress. his tongue worked in firm circles on your sensitive nub, followed by gentle slides of his up your tummy in tender touches.

“god, you soaked through your panties, pretty girl”. you whined above him, unable to answer his statements. you watched him as he collapsed your worn garment into a bundle in his free hand, he stuffed it deeply in his back jean pocket. “gotta save that for later so i know i'm not dreaming…” eddie growled from deep in his throat. the overwhelming and confusing feelings made you reach for him. he giggled and stuffed a finger into you while continuing to lick his flat tongue up your center to savor your dripping arousal. 

the air was filled with the smell of sex and the sloppy sounds of him drinking you down. he worked you open for him. he was silent as he catered towards his own needs and fantasies, still not fully comprehending that you were wincing under him in pleasure.  when he felt your walls clench around his fingers and your pants grow even shorter, eddie began to talk you through your finish. “does that feel good, sweetheart?” his hips rutted into the mattress, hard. the prospects of getting you off was getting him harder than he had ever been before.

though eddie was so fucked out, his mean demonor didn’t stray far away. he slowed his movements just to hear you cry out for him. when you looked for an answer to why he was slowing down, he smirked at you. you watched through your lashes as he flicked his tongue just right and in a dreadfully slow curve. “taste so.. fucking.. good”, he said to himself. then he harshly slapped your clit after your hand had fallen back over your mouth to muffle your moans. “ahha!” you cried. “what did i say? answer me.. feels good, doesn’t it?”. “yes.. yes feels…ah… really good.. don’t stop. please. don’t stop.” you whimpered for him. his chest grew warm, his tummy turned. 

he whispered his words while kissing your clit “mhm… wasn’t hard was it? all i needed to hear, baby.” he continued his faux attitude while you cried for him. he was close to falling apart. he had to be dreaming. eddie moved his fingers over you in an agonizingly slow manner, while he day dreamed. as he mindlessly day dreamed of all the things he could do to you tonight he heard you cry out for him to give you more. you didn’t have to tell him twice. he picked up his pace once again. you trembled, a moan stuck in your throat threatening to rip through you. you couldn’t hold on anymore. your entire body shakes for him as your breath leaves your lungs. his name is a constant curse of how good he could make you really feel. the way you moaned for him was making his cock unbelievably hard. you can feel his devilish smile againsts you as he furthers his torture and fucks you through your first orgasm, not daring to slow down for you to catch your breath. his hips continue to chase friction from the mattress.

a massive tidal wave washes over you. the sounds of your hot cunt leaking for him and down his fingers make him leak through his pants and onto the bed with his own pre. the relief you feel brings tears to your eyes as you cum harder than you thought was possible for a person to. your dripping hole clenched around him like a vice. it continues to suck him back in, he’s not ashamed to give your greedy pussy more.

“eddie! ahhha.. eddie!” you scream out from overstimulation. your needy tone surprises him so he quickly slows down his pace. he calms you. eddie places hot kisses on the hollow spot between your hip and thigh. after he sucks your skin a deep purple eddie sits up a little. he’s letting go of your legs, and placing both of his hands on the top of your thighs. he grips the doughy skin gently to ease your tingly body. the tenderness of his actions allows you to come back down to earth. you look up at him over you. as you made eye contact eddie pulled his shirt off of his chest. his hands worked on loosening his belt buckle. he was so handsome like this. “you’re handsome..” you mumbled in a drowsy state. 

“you.. you really think so..?” he blushed a deep maroon while you hummed when he collapsed onto you. he raised slightly to help you take your own shirt off. he moved desperately. “need to feel you..” he pulls you into a searing hug. skin on skin. eddie raises your back to arch for him before he pops the back of your bra undone. you whine at how efficient he was with it. “eddie..” you whimper. he pulled the garment off of you as he raised himself up. he threw it somewhere into the room with the rest of the now growing pile of clothes. 

then he was working on his jeans. he clumsily moved his knees back and forth to rock out of the tight restricting pants. your hand must’ve made it’s way to his lower tummy while he undressed. he pulled the band of his boxers down and he let his swollen cock bounce free. it slapped the back of your hand. you both moaned at the contact. his tip was bright red and dripping. eddie whined as he grabbed his base. he got a serious glint in his eyes as he let you take it and guided it down to you.  “you think it’s handsome?” "y-yeah," you nodded, sounding a little hoarse. 

you sighed a little at the feeling of him letting you run it through your folds. he was huge and bigger than anything you had ever taken. he grabbed your hips to keep your body from running from him, or worse pushing him into you when he wasn’t composed at all and risking hurting you. he insulted your past experiences to make himself feel better about the fact that he was forsure going to bust early. “never had a dick this big?” he teased shyly. his false confidence died when you looked at him with need. oh, he was so fucked. he had already been so on edge while playing with you using his fingers.

he bent at the waist and kissed you again, right when you least expected it. you felt his hips pull away from your slightly. he whispered “..you.. shit.. are you ready?" he asked you, but it sounded like he was stalling.

karma's a bitch and you were tired of waiting. you were going to win this standoff. the break between your last orgasm and now allowed you to catch your breath. with a huff and a whisper into the shell of his ear, you teased, “are you?”. you broke down all his walls with those two words. "baby… oh baby.. fuck i've been ready for this for years," he choked the confession out breathlessly before plunging forward and filling you with his cock in one smooth motion. eddie shivered as he pressed his hips up to yours, moaning weakly and so completely in love. his eyes were shut tight and his head tossed back in concentration.

when he regained his composure he fucked into you like he was crazed. he grabbed the back of your thighs and threw you into his cock. back and forth. his pace was relentless as he started moving his mouth a mile per minute. just like his hips. “i don’t deserve this. always been… so mean to you and.. you still wanna give me this sweet pussy? god, you’re gonna make me cum, sweetheart. i’m sorry i'm already gonna cum.” he was rambling while he lost his tempo. eddie pulled your legs onto his shoulders as he rotated his hips deeper. he popped his finger in his mouth and licked the digit before he laced it between your bodies and started working on your clit. “it would be really mean.. of me to not let you.. cum again. and.. ahha- fuck.. i need to feel you cum on me. please”. 

your legs trembled, your walls sucking him in deeper. “yes! yes! just like that, baby”, he grunted in your ear. “eddie ohh.. god.. im gonna cum. im gonna cum!” you felt him shake over you while his hot breath painted your neck in a allowed dampness. he bit your neck to suppress his needy whines. he chanted your name but not before dropping an absolute bomb on you. 

“fuck… i love you, always loved you. and i love this pussy shit..” you hardly caught his confession as your orgasms both teetered on the edge. “gonna fucking fill you up, fill my good girl up.. you want that? fuck give it to me… i need it. i need you...” you nodded your head with haste. “give it to me, eddie. please.. you can cum inside me..” both of you crossed the finish line together as the waves washed over you. eddie’s entire body shuddered. his grip his rough hands had on you was so tight there was sure to be evidence that this wasn’t just some sick dream tomorrow. the way your nails had clawed against his back and forearms branding him in the same way. he felt both of your liquids gush around his cock as he slowed his pace and grunted. he didn’t wanna pull away. eddie was too scared of what your reaction would be to his afterglow of the best orgasm he had ever had. not to mention the embarrassment of his loose tongue.

after a few moments of silence he slightly moved so he could look into your eyes. you had a dumb smile on your face. eddie accepted the humiliation and grinned back. he stayed buried inside of you. only adjusting to see you better in certain moments. you allowed his words from earlier to ring in your ears. he looked at you with pure devotion wondering who was going to address what he said first. 

“so-“ he started. 

“we-“ you said at the same time. 

“you.. uh.. you go first.. please?” he nervously bit his lip while adjusting the warm blanket you two had found yourselves wrapped up in. he moved his face to yours. “no.. how about you finish what you started”. 

the boy could only slowly blink at you. oh how the tables had turned.

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[sharkorok]

“did you drink water?” (enha)

or where enhypen reacts to their idol!s/o passing out

cw/genre: fainting, mostly fluff but reader is hard on themself

requested: yassss :D

a/n: why does it feel like a year since I last posted lolol srry but papa sharkie’s home now

•-•-•-•-•-•

heeseung

-ok so it happened at a music festival you both were attending, n after his performances were done he decided to visit you !!

-you looked pale and he was worried but he understood how both of your careers work, until you missed a step and fell down, slumping on the floor

-he had to fight every single nerve in his body, he wanted to run to you and check on you, he was so nervous :(

-the second you were backstage and no cameras were around he was all over you, he got you water and some snacks from food vendors, laying you down and playing with your hair while some medical staff made sure you’re alright

-kisses you all over and takes ur phone so you can’t look at twitter so you don’t see any posts being mean or u get embarrassed

-he’s so so so comforting and he refuses to leave ur side until staff pries him off

-expect him to visit your hotel and hold you until you fall asleep, esp if u were nauseous !

-ur members gush that he stayed with u the whole night until his manager found him

jay

-awards show rehearsals and stage prep, groups were mingling around the venue, while your’s was getting their mics checked and stuff

-you want to put your full effort in, even if it was just rehearsals and mic checks, especially to impress ur boyfie lol <3

-but you served too hard and you stumbled, falling over as your members rushed to catch you, Jay practically jumping from where he was sitting

-he runs backstage and he’s taking care of u, chilled water bottle and a cold towel around your neck, making sure staff is checking on you and asking every few seconds about what happened exactly

-and if u try to say something? “shhh baby, don’t talk right now.”

-gets so >:[ if you even try to suggest you continuing to perform!

-“jay, I feel better, I can take a ten minute stage.” “nuh-uh.” and ur just like omfg this boy

-so begrudgingly you stay behind during the live performance, and jay promises you that you didn’t let anyone down, your health is the top priority

jake

-nearly exposes your relationship with his reaction (I’m gonna be honest I’m out of scenarios so sorry)

-he practically jumps out of his seat the second you collapse on stage, jay grabbing his wrist and gesturing towards the cameras focused on them

-“I can’t just not see them!” “I know, but staff will take care of y/n. Let’s just wait for attendees to leave.” jay reassured, but jake still wasn’t happy

-he was gripping the seats trying not to run to you immediately

-and the second he can see you again?? he makes sure to ask staff what he can do to help you, and if you’re alright and he’s constantly kissing the back of your hand

-“no baby, don’t get up just yet, wait until we get the clear from staff ok?”

-you’re so EMBARRASSED!! so ur like hiding in his shoulder, trying not to cry

-he’s hyping you up tho and trying to bring some light to the situation like, “wow you performed so well that even ur own body couldn’t handle it babe”

-sneaks into ur company van so he can make sure ur okay on the way home LMAO

sunghoon

-there’s a fancam out there of his reaction to you fainting on stage where you can clearly see him saying “oh shit”

-nervously looking at his members w an evident side eye as if he’s asking if he should pull a k drama moment and run up there to hold you or if he should keep his job

-so so so nervous that it might be something more serious, or you could’ve fallen in a way that got you a head injury, or maybe it just so embarrassed that you’ll faint again once u wake up who knows

-my king of overthinking

-but doesn’t want to worry you or make it a big deal because he understands how that can make someone feel worse LMAO

-“omg y/n you fainted?? I didn’t even notice ong you’re so professional babe 😍😍”

-doesn’t really know how to help you so he’s awkwardly standing around staff while offering the occasional “whooo you can do it y/n!!” tryna be supportive 💀

-once ur better he feels more comfortable taking you out for some comfort food and supplies a ton of kisses

sunoo

-ok this has been on my mind the entire time while I was writing this but he’d def argue w people online if “lazy” or “unprofessional” accusations started popping up

-he probably already has a fan acc he uses to stalk posts pertaining him or you, n he’s pressed when he sees a tabloid accusing you of being lazy

-you come home after a quick check up to see him furiously typing on the couch b4 he looks up to you and gets all smiley again

-so so so supportive and also distracts you from the situation so you don’t have to think about it :>

-“shhh don’t look at Twitter let’s just watch this cute little show together ok? :)”

-keeps an extra close eye on ur Twitter feed for the next few days

-and an even closer eye on ur health! switches out any dietary supplements u take for multivitamins n fights w staff if they try to continue a restrictive diet on you

-ensures you’ll never faint again to the best of his ability

jungwon

-literally the second u woke up it was “did you drink enough water today??”

-you thought u died and ascended to heaven and you were looking at an angel but it was just jungwon worriedly staring at you

-doesn’t want to seem immature by hounding staff to ask questions, but truthfully, he wants to grab them by the shoulders and freak out

-but he wants to be strong for u!! and so he grabs you the best water bottle, some snacks for your blood sugar, and a fan in order to help you recover

-is so comforting about it, reassures you that this is going to happen to basically every idol, he’s so sweet I’m going to cry.

-sends a bouquet to the dorms later on with a “hope you feel better!” card T^T

niki

-he’s so worried about you but he could tell with the recent dating rumors between you two he has to stay as calm as possible, in case fans were trying to film his reaction

-another idol tried to invite him to the after party but he’s nowhere to be found, practically sprinting backstage to check on you

-“babe omg u literally fell for me…” <- the first thing he says upon seeing you -_- lolol

-doesn’t really know how to act in front of management and staff, so once you two are in a more private space he’s all over you

-checking your temp, elevating your head, googling how to help someone recovery from fainting LMAO

-“trust I’ll report every single fancam I see” <- him if u say ur embarrassed about passing out on stage

-sweet boy flies off of the couch you’re laying on the second ur manager comes in tho lol, expect him to visit later tonight to properly make sure ur ok! <3

[misguidedasgardian]

The Winter Sun (24)

24. SnowStorm

MASTERLIST

Summary: An unknown ray of hope

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Fem!Targaryen Reader 

Warnings: Cursing, medieval and asoiaf customs, AGE GAP, Cregan is 12 years OLDER than reader), arranged marriage, war, and all that comes with it, implied forced imprisonment, and implied non-con, pregnancy, angst, might miss some warnings

+18, MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 3 k

Notes: I don't know what is gotten inside of me, I'm inspired hehehe, remember that the timing on this has been paced by x3 haha

Nobody talked to you, nobody told you anything, but you could tell something was wrong, very, very wrong.

People seemed nervous and skittish, Aemond was gone for most part of the day, and night, he left you alone, and you took the opportunity to relax in your bed

You were grieving, but it was so hard, you had no process, no nothing, Cregan was far away, and suddenly he was dead, but you couldn’t process it, you couldn’t even think about it

A single tear fell down your eye as you touched your belly

Was it Cregan’s? or was it Aemond’s?

You couldn’t possibly know

Yes you had bled, but the maester said it was common having a little spotting in early stages of pregnancy… but still… you were showing up quite early if you were to believe it was Aemond’s 

But you couldn’t help but wonder…

You guessed you had to wait until it was born.

You hoped it was a girl but… if it was Cregan’s you doubted Aemond was going to let you keep it, you could only pray that he would take the time to take it to Winterfell where she or he could be safe… but if it was his…

You cried louder

Once you stopped crying and were laying on your bed, Aemond entered the room

“I have news”, he said, his voice sounded strangled, you sat on the bed and looked at him wide-eyed

“What?”, you asked

“I will take you out of here”, he said, like it was good news, perhaps they were

“Are we going to King’s Landing?”, you asked, your voice plain

“No, I’m taking you to your home in the Vale”, that really surprised you

“What?”, you asked, not believing him

“I’m already making the arrangements”, he said, he was serious, but not like always, he did not have that superiority demeanor that always accompanied him

“And King’s Landing?”

“No”, he answered sharply, he wouldn’t tell you anything, a war had broken outside these walls and you didn’t even know what was happening, but one thing soothed you… If Aemond was here, he was not in the field, possibly killing members of your family.

The love of your life and father to your babies might be dead, but at least, at least, with your personal sacrifice, you could help your family in gathering and preparing, distracting the man with the biggest dragon in the world

it was a consolation

But not knowing what was going on outside those wretched walls did make you feel uneasy, the fact that Aemond was here the entire time made you believe that rather things were going terribly well with the Greens, or he was out of it completely

Aemond after looking deep into your face, prepared to leave

“What happened?”, you asked him, and then he looked at you, his eye then fell to your belly

“You are with my child, this is a terrible and dark place, you need to be in a more nicer place, if we want the child and you to thrive”, he said so seriously, like he was talking about a political arrangement 

You wanted to remind him that it was Cregan’s baby, but you stopped yourself, one because you didn’t want him to… “get rid of it” as he threatened you he would do, and two, you weren’t even sure.

“When?”, you asked

“Tomorrow”, he said shortly, and then he abandoned your room.

You were almost blinded when you took a step outside, having seen the sunlight directly in months. You almost had forgotten what the clear, pure air smelt like, being trapped in that hellish room. Some days you thought you had lost your mind.

But here you were

You should be happy that you are going back to your own home, some place you had the advantage in, but then… the advantage for what exactly?

Trying to kill him again?

That would backfire terribly

Trying to escape?

And where would you go? back to Winterfell? your loved ones would pay the price of your actions, you knew it.

And if it was Aemond’s baby?

You whimpered when you realized… there was no way out of this, of him…

Vhagar roared in front of you both to prove it, in a greeting, and she made you tremble. Aemond grabbed your hand and led you towards her, your own dragon wasn’t even in sight, Aemond helped you up the ropes first and then he followed you closely.

Under normal circumstances you would be on the other side of the castle away from this wretched beast, but you didn’t want to fight, you didn’t want to upset him. 

You accommodate yourself in the saddle, and Aemond arranged the leather straps around your thighs carefully and then he chained himself to the saddle, you felt him at your back his hand surrounded you to take the reins 

You didn’t miss his fingers ghosting over your belly.

Vhagar was heavy and slow and yet, she took flight easily. Soon you were in the skies, the last time you had done so, was when you surrender yourself to Aemond

You leaned back, your body fully pressed against Aemond, trying to push up your own body was making you have a cramp, and you didn’t have the strength to endure one, not right now.

Aemond smiled, he took to the skies, with you in his arms, your body leaning completely on his, his baby in your belly, he felt like the King of the world, and how could he not?

“When I’m in the skies… it feels that this is where I belong”, he whispered in your ear, “specially with you in my arms”

And the funny thing is, you also felt the same when you were in the skies.

“This is why they say Targaryen are closest to gods than to men”, you said back, wanting to avoid the subject

The flight was longer than you had expected, Vhagar being slow. Or perhaps it was the company that made it dreadfully tiring

You were glad the wind made it difficult to sustain a conversation.

You wondered how Aemond knew exactly where your home was, but you tried not to dwell on it too much, for your own peace of mind.

Vhagar landed heavily on the ground, right in front of it. It was just like you remembered, from four years ago when you escaped the Red Keep when… When Aemond tried to pressure you into giving him your maidenhead

People started coming out of the castle, to your surprise, they didn’t even seem surprised to see Vhagar there, they had been expecting you… although… The people, your own people, seemed scared to see you, you remembered some of them, specially from when you escaped the Red Keep and spend here a couple of months, but they even dare to look at you

Perhaps this what Aemond had meant when he said “he had already made the arrangements”, meaning terrorize the servants of the castle out of their loyalty to you

The Vale was loyal to Rhaenyra, he surely needed to make sure nobody was going to open their mouths about you being here.

“It is quite beautiful”, Aemond said, placing his hands on your hips, encouraging you to enter your childhood home, where your father had raised you with his kindness and his love. You were sad it had to be tainted by Aemond, and what he was going to keep doing to you

You entered your home slowly, drinking everything in, you had missed it, it had huge windows and wide, colorful, sunlit rooms. It wasn’t as big as the seven great castles, but… it was a castle nonetheless 

He walked the halls as he knew them, perhaps he had been here in your absence, and that made you even more scared, about how deranged Aemond was

You wanted to go towards your room, but Aemond continued down the corridor towards what it was your father’s old room

“Aemond”, you called, “that is…”

“The master bedroom of this castle I took”, he said, opening the double doors, signaling for you to enter behind him.

You weren’t fazed to enter the room, your father’s things had been taken away years ago, and.. you don't quite remember it from your childhood when he was alive.

The room had huge windows, a balcony, a huge bed freshly made, you could tell, a table with chairs in one corner, and nightstands on each side of the huge bed with a wood canopy. 

“I could get accustomed to this”, Aemond said, you didn’t look at his face, but you could picture perfectly his smug face, “you, and me, reigning our small castle, with an army of silver haired children”, you sighed, already tired of his fantasy, you walked towards the windows and looked over at the sea and the risks of the Vale. You placed your hand on the window, longing for freedom, even though you wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Cregan was gone.

You felt the bed move behind you, and you turned around to see Aemond sitting on the edge of the bed. He taped the mattress by his side

“I want to feel you”, he moaned, and you only walked towards him, surrendering yourself to him, so broken to even fight him on this

What you didn’t know is that the greatest army the North has ever seen, had been gathering, marching from every corner to the coldest realm, already recuperated from the Winter, and ready to eliminate any threat to the reign of Rhaenyra Targaryen.

The Northerner Army met in Caitlin’s Vale, all around the castle of the same name.

Nobody knew who was going to lead said army. They had been called by Lord Roderik, to avenge their Lord, and they had all answered to the call.

For avenging Lord Cregan Stark. 

Cregan 

The huge camp was a sight to behold, each house of the North, the great one and the smaller ones, all of them had come.

And as their leaders met in the middle, to discuss strategy and where they were going to meet the Knights of the Vale, the remains of the Winter Wolves marched into the camp, leading them, as a hooded figure.

Every soldier made way for the huge stallion that led the main leaders of the small army, as they bowed their heads, they didn’t know who it was, but the bare figure demanded respect 

The leaders of the Great army both payed attention to the group approaching, and it was only when they were in front of them, that Cregan removed his hood, revealing himself to the camp amongst gasps and cheers

“CREGAN CREGAN CREGAN!”, they started chanting for their Lord 

“They embushed us!”, he shouted, “they burnt us! and yet… we are here!”, he said, to everyone’s cheers, “Aemond Targaryen, the Kinslayer, has taken my wife, the Lady of Winterfell, his brother the usurper, has taken our Queen’s throne!”, he said and he heard them booing, “For our burnt fathers and brothers, for your lady of winterfell, for the justice for the traitors, WE MARCH!”

With those words the army was fired up to march south, to kill every Green that stands in their way, to recuperate you

Cregan joined the leaders in the main tent.

“This time, we will not be alone”, he said firmly, “Daemon Targaryen and his dragon will meet us in the Crossroads Inn, he said, pointing to a map, but we, before that, we will join the Knights of the Vale, right about there as well”

“And the Rogue Prince will take care of the dragon?”, asked Lord Cerwyn

“That is what is expected, yes”, said Cregan.

“Is the Lady (Y/N) going to be in Harrenhal?”, asked another

“Our job is to take the castle, the real battle will be after we take Harrenhal and march souther still

“This is the greatest army the Seven Kingdoms has ever seen!”, said Lord Roderik, “it is impossible that we are going to march undetected through the Riverlands”

“In that case, the Baratheons and the Royal army of traitors will be there to meet us”, said Cregan, “and that will work to our advantage, it will save us a trip, we end half of the Green forces in one attack, they will have no chance against us”

The determination of their lord inspired all the men, this time, they will not fail

And so they started the slow march, as their number tripled the one of the last time, the pace was three times slower. 

Cregan wanted them to know, he wanted all his enemies in one place, to kill them all at once. You were the only thing on his mind. 

This was going to take him months, much to his dismay, but he knew his Queen held the Capital, he knew his son and his home was safe, and he knew you were alive, that monster might take you, but he wouldn’t harm you or he would have learnt about it by now.

You were waiting for him, he knew it

It was all that kept him sane, the thought of you, waiting for him. 

It was in moments like this he wished he could fly, just like you, he wished to be strong just like you, his beautiful wife, mother of his child.

He wondered if you thought he was dead, he really didn’t hope so, although he knew the Kinslayer would have told you. He wondered if you were pregnant with his baby, he was sure you were when he left you in Winterfell, he had learnt to know you and your beautiful body.

He sighed as he saw his army march from over a hill

The only thing he wanted to do was to have you by his side, cuddling you, and his son on his chest, your pregnant belly pressed against him. 

Soon, he thought 

Aemond looked at you, you yourself were looking at the window, touching your big belly, he could not tell if what he felt in his chest was something good or something bad, it was a crippling feeling, a burn so intense he believed it could burn him whole. 

He had to leave you for a few weeks, having to go to the battlefield, but his return was swiftly. His brother, the King, was missing, his mother was captured, his grandfather executed, and his other brother…

They said he died on his successful campaign as his burning tent fell on top of him, others say he was murdered in his nightshirt by a myrnise. 

Anyways, they were losing this war

The only front that was winning was the seafront on the East, and the Lannister Army on the West, this was not lost yet, but his sister, was also a prisoner of Rhaenyra, he was scared of what they might do to her after the murder of his nephew, 

And rumors had reached them that a huge Northerner army was marching from the North, he was longing to face them on the battlefield, to burn that wretched country once and for all. 

He did not feared them, for they had no one to lead them, the last remaining Stark couldn’t even talk, it was a baby in a crib 

Which led him back to…

“When I fantasized about being with you, I have never picture this”, he said bitterly, you turned to look at him, seriousness in your eyes

“You didn’t expect to kill my husband?, threatened my infant son? rape me? go figure”, you asked, you had become more bold as your pregnancy progressed, Aemond said it was because of the dragon inside of you, he had never been rough with you, he has been rather patient.

“I said you were mine and I was going to do anything to prove it”, of course it was your fault, perhaps if you had accepted the marriage with him in the first place, nothing would have ever happened, maybe Cregan would still be alive, “but there is no point on dwelling of what might have been”, he said, his voice plain.

It was hard to know what was going on inside his head, really

“I want to know what is happening”, you said firmly, looking back at him

“What do you mean?”, he asked

“What is going on with the war that broke out when you killed Lucerys?”, you asked firmly, he chuckled darkly

“What would you know about the intricacies of war?”, he mocked

“Is my family dead?”, you asked firmly

“If it was, do you think we would be hiding here?”, he asked

“Perhaps they all are, your brother regions on his usurped throne”, you bit back. He looked at you, analyzing your face, really wondering if he should tell you about what was going on

Perhaps if you knew Rhaenyra sat the Iron Throne, you would be persuaded to try to get away from him, perhaps you would try to escape him, knowing the blacks were winning

“i don’t know where your cunt of a cousin is, but my brother sits the Iron Throne”, he said bitterly, and you lost your attention off of him and back to look outside the window

He didn’t know if you did that because you didn’t believe him, or rather, if you did and you believed everything was lost, that you were irrevocably his

“I arranged for a short ceremony”, he said then, you turned to face him once more, frowning

“A short ceremony for what?”, you asked, angrily

“We are to be wed”, he said

“No”, you whined

“Yes”, he said firmly, your eyes filled with tears

“NO!”, you screamed, “why?”, you cried, accusing him

“You are a widow, and you are carrying my child, there is no discussion”, and his heart broke when he saw the utter despair and hate in your eyes who looked so much like his own. 

more notes: is the baby Cregan's? Or Aemond's? what do you think?

taglist:

@severewobblerlightdragon @missusnora @stargaryenx @poppyreader @chainsawsangel @court-jester-stuff @batprincess1013 @eddiepicker 

@lyannesworld @arujee @kamisunshine @​​mss-nthng @partypoison00 @grimistangel @elleclairez @may-machin @prettykinkysoul @justagurlwithships @champomiel 

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[xinfinityl0ve17]

Moi dix Mois

Welcome to the Strange Year End Party

Moi dix Mois' annual grand year end party, sandwiched between their signature dark live performances with a spectacular ending! This year as well Seth (Vo) appeared as the character "Umezawa Sesuo" performing the song "Yume Shibai," while Mana (G) displayed his brilliant drum and bass playing.

The evening's feast began with a comedic opening hosted by K (G, Voice) and included highlights such as the anime "Martin Theater," which evoked shouts of "kawaii!" from the audience. Of course when Moi dix Mois performed they swiftly shifted from the fun atmosphere to their signature coolness, impressing as always.

Now witness an entertainment show infused with the dark aesthetics that define Supreme Commander Mana.

Dis inferno Vol. IV LAST YEAR PARTY 2006.12.26, Shibuya O-East

The venue dimmed and the host K appeared on a small stage on the right side of the floor, announcing today's opening act. The band was called MANALEY CRUE (a play on the name Mötley Crüe). As the curtain opened to "Red Hot," Mana appeared first, wearing tight slim pants decorated with mesh and handcuffs in a very Mötley Crüe like outfit. For a moment, you could almost think you were witnessing the LA metal scene of the early '80s. As the other members appeared, their resemblance to the original band was quite impressive, especially Sugiya (G), whose appearance was strikingly similar to Mick Mars. It seemed like Mana's choice for sure.

After playing drums in the past, Mana took the double bass drum kit for this show, setting the tone for this two-year comeback event, Moi dix Mois' Last Year Party under the name Dis inferno. Though usually known for their serious live performances, on this night, it was all about fun, giving fans a rare glimpse into the band members' hidden talents and unique sides. As always, the central figure was Moi dix Mois' leader, Mana.

The band played "Looks That Kill" with enthusiasm continuing the Mötley Crüe tribute and series of covers. The next act saw a dazzling Seth take the stage as "Umezawa Iku," performing Umezawa Tomio's "Yume Shibai." Seth's performance was remarkable, fully immersing himself in the song's world. Hayato dressed as a stagehand, added manual effects like tossing confetti, making it a full-fledged show.

Following the metal and enka (Japanese ballad) performance, Fukuyama Kenji's "Squall" was performed with an acoustic guitar, not by K, but by Keiny-chan. Although casually dressed in a white shirt and jeans, his face was still decked out in the usual death/gothic makeup, with half of his hair braided and the other half spiked—an extreme look that added an eerie touch to the performance. Despite the visual contrast, his voice resonated powerfully.

Next up was "The King of Knowledge" Sugiya, who appeared as "Sugick" to perform... balloon art! Yes, twisting long balloons into shapes like animals and flowers in a street-performer style. In a short time, he created a parrot, leaving the audience exclaiming, "Amazing!"

Afterward, the atmosphere completely shifted as "Now the other side in blood" began, marked by the intense double bass drumming. The live performance by Moi dix Mois proper started, powerfully leading with "Front et Baiser." The band's signature sound, featuring crushing metal riffs, had the audience headbanging enthusiastically, creating an electric atmosphere.

During the break, an animated short, "Martin Theater," featuring Mana as a chibi character, was shown on the screen. The whole band appeared in super-deformed (SD) style in a cute and comical story, delighting the audience with its adorable depiction.

On this night, the setlist was built around particularly aggressive songs, driving the audience into a frenzy. The combination of metal riffs and fierce melodies, like in the nostalgic track "Lamentful Miss," echoed strongly through the venue. Moi dix Mois’ performances, such as "Ange," highlighted their unique style, combining intensity and a haunting beauty that remains true to their essence.

The visual spectacle also included Mana’s new guitar, "Jeune Fille X Bronze -Cross Ray-," which had a glowing blue cross in the center. He concluded his performance by collapsing dramatically on stage, leaving a lasting impression. This glimpse into the recording of their upcoming album, due in March, hinted that intensity would be a major theme.

After the show closed with a powerful and flawless performance, the grand year-end party concluded with the entire Moi dix Mois band plus K performing a massive singalong to "Can't Take My Eyes Off You," with giant balloons floating through the crowd, bringing the festive night to a spectacular finish.

[mari-writes]

Koutarou attends The Nutcracker for his sister, Kai, who's dancing as the Snow Queen. 

This is her second year in the role, but he missed last time, so he’s so excited! He can’t wait to see his big sister dance! 

And then he sees him. 

In the role of the Snow King is a young prodigy named Akaashi Keiji. He’s a year younger than Koutarou, and his sister says Akaashi is “the best dance partner she’s ever had.”

Koutarou is immediately enamored. His eyes follow Akaashi wherever he goes on stage, despite Kai being the focal point of the routine. He’s lean, but obviously so strong, capable of lifting, throwing and catching his sister flawlessly. Effortlessly.

(Also, those tights look so good on him.)

Koutarou pretty much begs his sister to introduce them. “Please! I’ll do anything!” He cries as he unleashes the full force of his pout. “I don’t even care if he’s not available or interested in me! I just want to meet him!”

She finally relents after a week of his hassling. Koutarou attends the show again on closing night. He’s a bit nervous. The Nutcracker has been a huge hit, with critics and audiences alike praising the Snow Queen and King specifically. Akaashi’s name is on everyone’s lips; he's “the next big thing” in the Tokyo dance scene.

“Calm down, Kou,” Kai hisses as she leads him down the hall and towards the theater’s green room. “He’s just a person just like you. Trust me, it’ll be fine.”

Koutarou nods. Swallows. He holds his breath as they finally step into the room.

They find Akaashi casually leaning against the back wall, munching on an apple and swiping through his phone. Koutarou’s eyes roam his form. He’s wearing a cropped, midnight blue hoodie that cuts off at the hem of his black joggers, displaying his slim build. His feet are covered in a pair of beat-up sneakers.

“Keiji dear, do you have a moment?”

Akaashi looks up, and Koutarou sucks in a breath. The man has perhaps the prettiest eyes Koutarou has ever seen. A devastating mix of blue-green-grey, piercing, with heavy lids and long lashes.

Surprisingly, those eyes widen when as they land on Koutarou, and his mouth drops open. “Of course,” he nods, “um, hello.” His voice is like velvet, soft yet with a gravely texture that send a shiver through Koutarou. He also can’t help but notice that Akaashi is a few inches shorter, which forces the man to look up at him as they approach.

Oh my god, he's an actual angel.

Kai pulls her brother forward until the two men are a few paces apart. She squeezes his arm, a gesture she’s been using since they were kids to lend him comfort, encouragement. He leans appreciatively into the warm touch.

“It’s, um, it’s wonderful to finally meet you, Bokuto-san.”

Koutarou blinks, confused. Akaashi is addressing him as if he knows who he is. “Oh! Uh, it’s nice to meet you, too!” He grins sheepishly. “Did Kai tell you I was coming, or..?”

The man shakes his head. Now that they’re so close, Koutarou notices leftover sparkles and flecks of fake snow still clinging to Akaashi’s wavy black hair.

Enchanting. 

“Well, I did know you were her brother… but I didn’t know you would be here tonight.” His eyes narrow at Kai, who chuckles.

“Keiji here is a big fan of volleyball,” she smirks at her brother, who nearly chokes at the new information. "He watched every single one your matches at the last Olympics. Apparently.”

“Really?!” Koutarou can’t believe his ears. Akaashi Keiji, the beautiful man who he’s been obsessing over the last few weeks, is a fan of him, too? It’s a bonafide Christmas miracle!

“Yes,” Akaashi’s lips twitch upward. It’s not quite a smile, but close. “I’ve, ah, been hoping Kai would introduce us someday.”

Koutarou beams. He can’t even be angry at his sister for keeping the secret. He’s just too happy right now. "I'm so glad she did!"

They end up at the closing night after party, sitting side by side in a booth, surrounded by family and friends. Conversation flows easily. Akaashi is rather quiet, but he seems content to just listen to Koutarou talk. He occasionally barks out a dry, sarcastic comment that only enamors Koutarou further.

He also smells nice. Like sandalwood and rose. Koutarou has to restrain himself from taking a big, long whiff.

“Y-you know, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says, words slurring a bit from the whiskey shots he’d just downed. “I actually played a bit volleyball when I was younger.”

Koutarou gasps. “You did?!” 

Akaashi giggles, then hiccups, and it’s the cutest thing Koutarou has ever heard. “I did,” Akaashi nods, “but only into middle school. Dance sort of took over my life after that. I’ve continued to follow the sport, though.”

Koutarou is having trouble containing his excitement. He grips his beer with one hand and reaches to grip Akaashi’s forearm lightly with the other. “You have to play with me someday!”

Akaashi snorts (wait, no, that is the cutest thing Koutarou has ever heard) and shakes his head. “I couldn’t possibly keep up with a pro player like you…”

“And I can’t keep up with your dancing,” Koutarou winks. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do that with you sometime. If you want, that is...”

For a brief moment, Akaashi just stares, and Koutarou wonders if he’s being too forward. But then Akaashi’s lips settle into a sweet smile, and he glances down into his drink. His sharp cheekbones bloom with color. “Are you asking me on a date, Bokuto-san?”

Well then. Koutarou hadn’t expected things to progress this quickly, but sometimes, fate has other plans. “I mean,” he clears his throat, “maybe..?”

Akaashi looks up, and Koutarou is suddenly drowning. He swears his sees an entire future in those stormy eyes, just waiting to pull him under. 

(And Koutarou would go, gladly.)

“I would love to,” Akaashi says, leaning forward to clank their glasses together. “Merry Christmas, Bokuto-san.”

//

A short advert ft. The Nutcracker's snow scene 💙❄️

Thank you for reading this sappy little thing I wrote after working a week straight of Nutcracker performances (eight shows in one week; it was insane). If you enjoyed this, PLEASE reblog! It really helps me out, way more than just a like (though I appreciate those, too). You can also share my post on Twitter! Thanks everyone for your support this year. It’s been rough, for many reasons. I hope you all have a happy holiday season. Here’s to 2024! 🥰

[mixotrophics]

forcing ecology to conform to human squeamishness -- a source of continuing harm

image source - SCOTLAND: the big picture

rewilding -- you may have heard of it. Letting native species (or similar enough ones) do their thing. Bringing back locally-extinct species. letting life, Live but part of nature is also death. Decay. Rot. Blood, gore. Fungus. Maggots. Death breaks apart the Body and lets its nutrients, borrowed during life, re-enter the cycles and nourish more life.

I've heard of a term, I think it was re-dead-ing, but cannot find the post... I do see, now, Death Gives Life , referring to the same thing.

we (broadly) are disgusted by the presence of death. 'Dead stock' -- dead animals, dead plants, so on -- are often removed from the scenery in places like the UK(1). This is often done in the name of disease control, with the idea that dead bodies in nature cause disease(1) even though the work of scavengers & decomposers clear up the germs(2) , -- main concern is, if the animal was very sick before it dies, its carcass may carry that disease. But that is not a corpse problem, that is an animal health problem, which lays in problems like artificially high & concentrated populations (e.g. deer, chronic wasting disease). Just keep them away from waterways and livestock, probably(3).

The carcass(of tree and animal alike) is a node of concentrated nutrients. When left in place, those nutrients return from the ecology from which they came. When the carcass is taken away, those nutrients are gone elsewhere(3). And now, detached from the life that has mechanisms to eat-rot(2), we humans have to do something with it. Like with manure, compartmentalizing these "wastes" away from growing life turns them into a problem(4).

Fallen trees & rotting meat are the homes for so many species, sometimes species only raising their young at particular stages or specializing to particular parts -- fur, bones, meat, bark(2). disallowing the dead & rotting from resting where they lay where we can see&smell them, is disallowing these species to find a place to live.

image source - ARK Rewilding Netherlands

& it's not just bugs. Think vultures, Think scavenger-mammals(2) ; Not only these, but predators fill up on already-dead meat, allowing endangered prey like the capercaillie to nest successfully(3).

and "cleaning up" this "ugly thing" that is the dead may deprive animals of their chance to mourn(1). Not all animals do -- many don't care much, many eat their own babies -- but some do and they should be given that chance.

...

greenwashed environmentalism thrives on the beauty of nature, operating in very narrow definitions of beauty and what is correct ... mud, rot, death, disease, bugs, stench, shit, these are all fundamental aspects of the inbuilt reciprocity+interconnectedness of being alive, and things we reject at the peril of so much.

image source - How death gives life

to all dead things: we, the living, love you, and thank you for giving back to the natural community at the end of your time with us. If only such ideas were not so opposed in the current era.

...

1 ) King, S. How death gives life. Rewilding Britain, 2023. 2 ) Beekers, B.; Meertens, H.; Reiniers, K.; Helmer, W.; Colijn, E.; Krawczynski, R.; and Meissner, R.; trans. Righart, A.; and Allen, D. Circle of life: A new way to support Europe's scavengers. Rewilding Europe & ARK Nature, 2017. 3 ) Ferraro, K. M.; and Hirst, C. Missing carcasses, lost nutrients: Quantifying nutrient losses from deer culling practices in Scotland. Ecological Solutions and Evidence 5(3), 2024. 4 ) Moore Lappé, F.; and Collins, J. World Hunger: 10 Myths. 2015.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Guided

Past =-= Next

Warnings: Nothing that I can think of. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Summary: He's trying to figure out what his next moves are.

Author's note: Imhoden's next chapter.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams,

Tagged continued: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k, @ms--lobotomy @bispecsual @thevoidscreams

Tagged continued: @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

He’d requested that if Space Wolves, those vile barbarians were in the area, that he doesn’t have to deal with them. Especially since those bastards destroyed Prospero, unjustly. Imhoden had been one of the Sorcerer Kings of Prospero who rose up in defiance against the Space Wolves hunting. 

Hearing how his father had died at the hands of the Barbarian Wolf King burned a rage fierce in his hearts that had been difficult to quell. But he had managed to calm down enough to not set himself sparking with rage. Using the Warp was very, very difficult now, and the cost of energy was higher than he was used to it being. 

He carefully joins a group of Loyalist Thousand Sons, all of them from various points in the Imperium’s history. They were trying to figure out how they got here, and if there was a way to get back to where they had come from. Even if they did manage to do so, could they, would they remember what they learned when they had come to Ancient Terra. 

Time paradoxes, as well as Time Loops and the potential for setting Alternate Timelines were all discussed among this band of brothers, and their fellow cousins who have the knowledge of learned scholars and mastery of the Warp. 

Hearing of the Ordo that helps manage and maintain the timeline, sending their agents to ensure The Holy Timeline (whatever that means to make sure that things don’t go off course) seems… almost insane. 

Also, while that Ordo hasn’t been formed yet, they could have agents in this time, or nearby monitoring the flow of time and see if there were ‘unholy’ branches that started to bud, and they would destroy that which didn’t fit their narrow world view of What Was  The Right Time Line.

 And some baseline humans called his Legion Arrogant. To think that one could control Time itself and the flow into the Proper Time, sounded absolutely arrogant and the height of stupid foolishness that would only end in tragedy that none would remember and potential tragic hilarity. For all creatures are subjected to Time, for its cruel grasp, that and Death are the only two real certainties. 

One of the times that Imhoden was out gathering some supplies, he hears a voice that he can barely recognize. He turns and sees one of the Chaos Marines- in Colors of post-Heresy Thousand Sons. His hearts sink and his eyes widen when he realizes just who it was that was calling out to him.

One of those who’d survived the burning of Prospero and the Deal with The Chaos God, who’d survived Ahriman’s destruction of the Thousand Sons into ‘curing’ the Flesh Change.

“Janus?” Imhoden gasps out. No- his brother- one of his dearest friends in the Thousand Sons. One of the brothers whom had been with him since the very beginning stages of him becoming a Space Marine of the Thousand Sons was. Had fallen.

“You look just how you did,” Janus says stunned as he peers down at his smaller and now younger brother, “I’m glad that you survived the Burning of Prospero, even though it meant your arrival here.”

“For me, the Burning of Prosper has only been a few months,” Imhoden says.

“For me it’s been nearly ten thousand years,” Janus says, before smirking at him, “You are now the little brother.”

Imhoden groans at that, they had been almost born and started their Aspirant training on the near same day. So arguing over who was older and who was younger was something that they’d teasingly done all throughout their lives.

“Janus, no,” Imhoden says with an annoyed groan.

“Janus, yes.” Janus warbled back with a cackle. “I’ve missed you Odi, so much.”

[absolutebl]

Do you have any bl recs that are very realistic with angst? I'm kinda in the mood for sadness lol

BL That is VERY realistic with ANGST

The "very realistic" is the hard part. All BLs take artistic license in pursuit of some kind of cohesive story. And, you probably mostly want Japan and Taiwan.

Let's see what I can do?

Realistic High Angst From Taiwan

Your Name Engraved Herein (netflix?) - this is the winner, it's an amazing historical piece, painful but beautiful

Also its oft forgotten "sister" piece, Red Balloon , not sure where to find it but very few have seen it, it's worth looking for if this is your thing.

About Youth, Gaga

My Tooth Your Love, Viki - the premise seems odd but it's very endearing and quite complex

Some shorts to consider :

Faded,

Innocent,

Light,

The Immeasurable

Realistic High Angst from Japan

His (movie is my preference but the series might also fit the bill)

Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese

Junjou Pure Heart

Candy Color Paradox

Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (I Only Want to Keep Looking at You)

Life: Love on the Line, Viki (go for the director's cut)

Restart After Come Back Home, Gaga? Viki? (not sure who has this one anymore)

Jack O Frost

Tokyo in April Is... Gaga

Realistic High Angst From Thailand (yes really)

Love of Siam

Love Sick

Dew the Movie (it's your funeral)

Maybe My only 12%?

I Told Sunset About You and the follow up

Present Perfect and Present Still Perfect (this is an intersting one as far as I know it's the first out gay director prestige piece from Thailand.)

Once in Memory (short)

Moonlight Chicken (review here)

Only Friends, YT (not quite BL, very queer messy gays, Thailand's answer to Queer as Folk)

I Am Your King 1 (but it's a pulp)

And weirdly you could throw some aspects of Love By Chance in there.

I still will never recommend Grey Rainbow. Sorry.

You might try tracking down the Saneha stories too.

And a bit from Korea

Although this will always feel a bit staged and arranged. Korea doesn't do much gritty realism, they prefer their pain performative.

To My Star and (more importantly) To My Star 2

Blueming, Viki

The Eighth Sense, Viki

The New Employee, Viki

Unintentional Love Story, iQIYI

And 2 Others

Like In The Movies, Pinoy YT

Goodbye Mother, Vietnam netflix maybe?

Unlike most of my posts none of these recs promise an HEA. You have been warned.

I pretty much fleeced from my prestige BL list (just add angst):

You could always take a risk and try some of these too...

K' that's more an enough to me going on with and I am SURE there are some you haven't seen. I'm equally sure I have missed some since there are ones that often life at the bottoms of my personal list and I have only ever watched one.

(source)

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Mature Rated Fics Masterlist (40)

Part 1- Part 34 / Part 35 / Part 36 / Part 37 / Part 38 / Part 39 / 

Created: March 14th, 2024

Last Checked:------

The Audition-burkygirl (ao3)  Summary: The choices we make and the chances we take define our future. For Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, it all begins with the audition. The Boy and the Mutt-atetheredmind (ao3)  Summary: When Katniss finds it increasingly impossible to perform as the Mockingjay during the rebellion, the unscrupulous Coin takes drastic measures to bring Peeta back to her. But Katniss soon learns there's something not quite right with this Peeta. The Dark Arrow-Alliswell (ao3)  Summary: Inspired by Robert Louis Stevenson’s 1888, Historical Romance: The Black Arrow. Peeta Mellark, orphaned and heir to his family’s estate, land and fortune, befriends and aids strange run-away, John Cattermole. In their adventures Peeta discovers his Guardian, Lord Thread, has pilfered all his wealth and has a sinister scheme to kidnap Miss Katniss Everdeen and force her to marry him to gain access to her inheritance through her marriage to Peeta. With the help of the Dark Daggers Order, Peeta intends on stopping Thread from achieving his nefarious goals and save the newly found love of his life… unless she saves him first. The Escort-HGfanonezillion (ao3)  Summary: "This was such a stupid idea. What was I even thinking? It's not like I'm a freak. I've just never had a sexual encounter with anyone but myself. I should never have said anything to Johanna about it because she knows just which buttons to push to goad me into a bad choice." The Five Stages-annieoakley1 (ao3)  Summary: “Katniss, I’m Peeta. Peeta Mellark. Uh, David’s son. There’s been an accident. You need to come home.” Katniss receives a phone call that will change her life forever. Modern day AU. Written for Prompts in Panem's Round 3, Day 2 challenge. Visual Prompt: The Death of the Virgin The Heir to Panem-DustWriter (ff.net)  Summary: Katniss alone wins the 74th Hunger Games to return to her family and home in District Twelve. But the admiration of a dangerous suitor changes her life and plans forever.  The King and the Huntress-Chele20035 (ao3)  Summary: Two lonely souls have a chance meeting in the forest, unknowing that it will change their lives forever. The Maiden and the Scoundrel-appleblossomgirl (ao3) S ummary: Written for the Everlark Fic Exchange on Tumblr for this prompt: "Prompt #63 Historical AU: Katniss has been engaged to Peeta’s older brother since they were children, but upon meeting a Capitolite, the groom-to-be breaks the engagement, leaving Katniss devastated and feeling rejected. To avoid more scandal and losing K’s dowry, the Mellark’s hurry to offer a new betrothal to their youngest son. Neither P or K are very happy about the new arrangement, P is a known womanizer and K is too puritanical. They gradually fall in love… make it as smutty as you like :)  The Match and the Rock-HGfanonezillion (ao3)  Summary: Katniss and Peeta are doing well co-parenting while separated, but some big changes are coming and being apart may not be so easy anymore. the next morning-angylinni (ao3)  Summary: Katniss wakes up to discover that she really is living the dream. Set in the Finding Home verse

[sjsmith56]

The Fae Elements, Part 1 - Courtship

Summary: The appearance of a mysterious man at Sage’s father’s funeral has her intrigued. When he shows up at her law office and invites her for dinner her curiosity pushes her to accept the invitation.

Length: 6.1 K

Characters: James Barnes, OFC (named but not described other than 31 years of age), assorted other minor characters.

Warnings: I’m not really much into the fae world of literature so this story may not follow traditional fae lore or plots. I have borrowed from other mythologies to build this world. If you’re into fae fiction please forgive me if it doesn’t meet those expectations.

Author notes: The AI image of James Barnes was created by the author using Microsoft Copilot app, in Designer mode. This first part sets the stage for the fae king to appear, realize the importance of the OFC, and to begin the courtship. Although he appears to take no for an answer, it’s not as straightforward as that as the next parts will show. A fae king has a reason for everything he does.

⭐️ 🌕 ☀️

All things have a beginning and an ending. We’re born, we live then we die. It is inevitable for all living things. It didn’t make it any less hard to bear while Matthew Hawthorne, beloved husband and my dear father was being laid to rest in a shady spot of Forest Green Cemetery, on a cool day in the middle of April. Two years of fighting cancer had taken its toll on the family but especially on my mother, Fern, who had nursed him until it was too much even for her. Now he was gone, and she was widowed, after 42 years of marriage, at the relatively young age of 63.

It was me, Sage, their only daughter, and the youngest, who first saw the incredibly beautiful but strange man watching from the edge of the mourners, standing under one of the oldest trees in the cemetery, a gnarled oak rumoured to be hundreds of years old. The man, wearing a dark but expensive suit had long, dark hair that was distinctive, but seemed as if he had always worn his hair this way. That, combined with the strong shape of his jaw, sharp cheekbones and muscular build gave him an aura that was both compelling and mysterious. His deep blue grey eyes were fixed firmly on my mother who had yet to see him. Neither, apparently, had my two older brothers.

I kept watching him surreptitiously until he switched his gaze to me briefly, making me look away in confusion at how his notice made me feel. Perhaps I was staring at him too much in a way that felt too bold. But there was no judgement evident in how he looked at me; rather, it seemed he was surprised and maybe a little intrigued by my interest in him. As the minister finished his closing remarks and our family said goodbye to Dad before the casket was lowered into the ground, I risked another glimpse at the man, who once again, focused his attention on my mother. The other mourners came forward paying their respects to her, and she accepted their words with the grace she had always displayed in both her personal and public lives.

Suddenly the man was there, next in line to speak to Mom, who gasped when she saw him.

“Buck,” she whispered. “How did you know?”

“I do pay attention to the world,” he replied, in a voice that sounded like the softest rainfall. “It was far too long since I last saw you both. He was good to you.”

It was said as a statement, not a question.

“Yes, he made me happy,” she replied. “I’ll miss him, terribly.”

“Of course you will,” he replied. “He was everything to you.”

Then Mom did the strangest thing, touching his bearded cheek with her palm, in a way so gentle that it startled me. I looked at my brothers, but it felt like no one else could see the familiar yet reserved way he accepted her touch. I almost felt ashamed for being witness to something so soft and private. He bent down and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, whispering in her ear so quietly that only she heard. Yet I swear that I heard a sound like the flutter of an unfolding wing as he hugged her. A brief vision of her being enclosed in the gentle embrace of a set of giant wings flashed in my mind as Mom smiled and nodded her head to his words.

“I will miss you,” she whispered back. “Thank you for being here.”

He stepped back then turned to look at me with eyes that felt like they were centuries old. Again, I felt I was being assessed. Perhaps he saw things in me that I was unaware of, even in the space of those few seconds. For a brief moment I could smell the rich fertile petrichor scent of a forest after a rainfall, clean and full of the promise of life.

“You’ve grown since I last saw you,” he said, in that soft voice again, offering me his hand. His gaze was steady on me. “You also appear to have your mother’s gift. Perhaps I will see you again.”

With those words now spoken, he released my hand, leaving us to return to his spot under the oak tree. Other things caught our attention then and when I looked once more at the spot, the man was gone.

“Who was he?” I asked my mother.

“Hmm?” Mom looked at me blankly. “Who was who, dear?”

“The stranger with the long hair,” I replied. “He was watching from under that old oak tree.”

Mom shook her head. “Sage, I don’t know who you’re talking about. We have to get back for the reception.”

I turned to my closest brother to ask if he knew where the man was, and he looked at me strangely.

“What man?”

I wasn’t about to go through that again, so I let it rest and attended to our guests at the reception, receiving more condolences. It was late when I finally arrived home and parked my car in the underground parking of the apartment building, I lived in. On the elevator up, I slipped my shoes off, rubbing my feet with my hand as it was the world’s slowest elevator and my feet hurt after spending the whole day in those awful heels. Holding the shoes in my hand as I walked down the hallway, I dropped them on the carpet outside my door and fished out my keys, sliding them in the lock, then wearily picked up the shoes only to drop them again on the floor in the entryway. Immediately, I could smell that scent of the forest again and I turned on the light, stepping warily into my living room.

“Hello? Is anyone here?”

I felt stupid for asking it, as an intruder wouldn’t answer. That’s when I saw it, an orchid, a pale pink lady slipper, at least that’s what came up on the image search after I took its picture with my phone. Planted in a small pot that was filled with moss, it sat on the coffee table. A small card was next to it, written in the most beautiful writing I had ever seen, saying to take good care of it. It was unsigned but somehow, I knew it had been left there by the mysterious man, an assumption based on the forest smell still lingering in my home. The orchid was unexpected, unsettling, and unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life, but I wasn’t afraid. After seeing how gentle and kind he was with my mother somehow, I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me. So, what did he want?

In the month after the funeral my brothers and I helped my mother with the necessities of settling our father’s estate. He had a will, leaving almost everything to her, except for some disbursements to the grandchildren, my brother’s kids, as I had never married. Each of us children received a part of his legacy, enough that we could clear debts, live better, or just invest for the future. We went through his personal things, taking pieces of his life that meant something to us. I took some flannel shirts to wear when I went camping as it was something I did with my father often, and some photography books showcasing the natural wonders of the world. In many ways my love of the outdoors came from him, as he showed me how precious life was. After all of us kids made our choices, Mom chose her favourites, packed everything else up and gave it to charity. Slowly, we got used to living without my dad around, although the grief we all felt clung to us in varying intensities, some days bearable, other days overwhelming.

I had never been in love, not the type of love that my parents had, something deep and trusting. Perhaps in wanting that kind of love I wasn’t too forgiving of perceived slights. That wasn’t to say that I hadn’t been hurt because I had, several times. But at least, I never had to go through a divorce, having never loved anyone enough to marry them. It led me to believe that I was destined to be the maiden aunt that people always talked about in hushed tones. Most people had at least one such person in their family; either a sorry individual who insinuated themself into the lives of their siblings because their own life was so lonely; or someone who gave every indication of living a free and easy life, unencumbered by the obligations of spouse or children. Since I had an intense job as an environmental lawyer, in a law firm working for various environmental organizations in the never-ending battle of protecting the environment against corporate interests, it was a trade-off that I was willing to make. But a part of me still longed for the gentle touch of at least a caring lover, one who could see past the façade of what I was and instead see the real me.

After a particularly gruelling preliminary appearance in court trying to stop a mining company from polluting a watershed that fed into one of the national parks, I went back to my office to finish some paperwork. Our secretary looked up at me as I entered the reception area.

“You have a visitor, Sage,” she said, motioning to one of the seats across from her. “A Mr. James Barnes.”

I turned to see the man, startled that it was actually Buck, the man who knew my mother, sitting there in his expensive suit, calmly reading an environmental magazine. I could feel my heart beating in my ears but pulled myself together.

“Mr. Barnes?” He looked up and once more those blue grey eyes pierced my soul. “Please, come with me.”

He stood up effortlessly, reminding me of a dancer in how he moved, as if he walked without impacting the surface below him. It was graceful, sensual, and just the physical act of moving sent a waft of that forest scent my way. I was self-conscious as I walked ahead of him, wondering if he was looking at me, at how I moved. When I opened my office door, I stepped aside to let him in first, but he refused so I went in ahead of him and went around to my chair, while he sat in the armchair across from me. For a moment my mouth went dry, and I couldn’t say anything, but he spoke first, in that soft voice that soothed me like a gentle rainfall.

“I apologize for my sudden appearance at your office,” he said. “I was in Washington for a hearing on some applications to drill for oil in the national parks, when I heard your name being mentioned. Since it’s been a little while since I last saw you, I thought we could get reacquainted.”

“I didn’t know you knew my name,” I replied. “Mom never introduced us.”

“That’s true,” he admitted, “but I did meet you several times as you grew up. It was also in the obituary of your father, and on the program at the funeral. It appears we have a common interest in protecting the environment.”

“When did we meet?”

“Several times when your parents took your family camping.” He smiled slightly as if the memories were good ones. “I’m fond of the outdoors. I think the last time I saw you was when you and your family went camping in the Adirondacks on one of your family weekends together. You were swimming so I doubt you noticed me.”

Considering how young he looked I could honestly say I didn’t as he must have been a teenager himself. Before I could ask him more, he spoke.

“I am with Gaia Life. Perhaps you’ve heard of us? It’s named after the Greek goddess of Earth, who was the mother of all life.”

I had heard of them, supposedly funded by a secretive billionaire who wished to remain anonymous. Considering the mystery behind Buck, or James Barnes as my secretary called him, it seemed fitting that he worked for Gaia Life.

“So, what is your name, exactly? Mom called you Buck, but my secretary called you James Barnes.”

“Both,” he said. “To my friends I am Buck, but to the public I use my given name. Gaia Life is my organization, my reason to exist; my contribution to saving the world.”

“You’re the founder?” I almost choked. He was one of the richest people in the world and he sought me out. He was sitting right across from me. “I thought he was an anonymous billionaire, someone older, trying to make himself look good with an environmental angle.”

“I am him, except I’ve only been involved in environmental issues. The making money out of it has been more fortunate than designed.” He grinned. “Not many people make the connection but I’m older than I look. I have … good genes, I guess. For the most part, I live a pretty reclusive life attending to the workings of Gaia Life, but I manage to come to Washington when I’m needed.”

“So, what do you want me for?” I stammered as he made me feel all flustered inside. “I mean, what can I do for you?”

“Would you go for dinner with me? I want to catch up on what your family has been up to.”

My mouth was dry again and I felt warm, too warm. His gaze was level, betraying nothing. It was just a request, nothing more, right?

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I replied.

“Why?”

“I don’t know you.”

He smiled again. “You just don’t remember meeting me. You’re Sage Hawthorne, 31, one of the best environmental lawyers around. I know you work hard and that you’re passionate about your career which is more of a vocation. I know you’re not married, because there was no spouse listed on the program of your father’s funeral and you haven’t dismissed my request for dinner with the information that you’re involved with anyone. I know we have more in common than you think. It will be in a public restaurant, and you can come on your own, leave when you want. Please, indulge a fellow environmentalist and have dinner with me.”

It was a little unsettling that he knew so much about me, considering there was little known about the elusive James Barnes. In fact, I don’t think there were even any pictures of him. The man was a mystery, virtually non-existent in a public sense. Yet, he showed up at my office and my mother knew him, apparently very well … until she didn’t.

“How do you know my mother?”

“I’ll tell you at dinner.” He smiled that enigmatic smile once more. “I knew your father as well. I respected him very much.” His gaze on me was direct and even though I knew I should be listening to my brain in keeping him at arm's length there was something about him that was … intriguing. “I’m no danger to you, Sage. Your secretary has seen me and has my name and contact information as she very professionally vetted me when I showed up here. I just want to have dinner with you.”

That refreshing forest scent was prevalent, and I couldn’t help but breathe it in. It felt like I was transported to the humid environment of a temperate rain forest, like the ones on the west coast; a clean and earthy scent, it seemed full of life and mystery.

“Alright. Where and what time?”

Barnes reached inside his suit and pulled out a business card. Borrowing a pen from my desk he wrote the name and address of the restaurant, Ardian, and the time on the back. It was the same handwriting as the card that came with the orchid, meaning he or someone working for him, had been in my apartment. I should have been angry, or at least concerned, but all I could think about was seeing this through. Then he stood up and offered me his hand. I went to shake his but instead he raised my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. Slowly, I pulled it away, lost in the sensation of his lips on my skin.

“Until later,” he said, then he left; quickly, quietly, taking the scent of the forest with him.

I was aroused, almost literally. When I started thinking about being with him, I couldn’t get the image of him hovering over me out of my head. Especially when my hand reached up and undid a tie holding his long hair back, allowing his tresses to flow over his shoulders like the sensual waterfall I knew it would be. With that vision playing on repeat in my head, I struggled to get through the paperwork before finally finishing. I had two hours before the time I was meeting Buck to get ready.

Much of that time was spent going through my closet to find the right dress to wear. Black was too severe, metallic was too fake, anything in a pastel was too summery and frivolous. I wanted to be taken seriously, not just as a woman, but as someone with a profession and a mind of her own. Then I saw it, a Diane von Furstenberg dress that I recently found in a resale shop, never worn, as it still had the tag on it. It’s presence there had surprised me and after trying it on I bought it. It hugged my curves in the right places, showed just enough cleavage to prove I wasn’t a prude, and the shade of green complimented my coloring. I put it on, smoothing it out over my body as I looked in the mirror, my hand going to the silver necklace with a tree pendant I always wore. Yes, I felt pretty in it, but I also felt empowered, and something told me that James Barnes liked empowered women. With that necklace around my neck, and small white gold hoops in my ears, I slipped on my nude heels then grabbed my purse and jacket.

The doorman hailed a cab for me, and I gave the driver the address of the restaurant. I had never heard of it before and wasn’t sure what to expect but when the car pulled up to it, I was mildly surprised. It was visibly exclusive, but not in a way that exuded wealth or excess, as it was tucked into a small building that seemed dwarfed by the towers around it. Its simple red brick façade was broken by a door and single large window that displayed a cozy ambience inside. Entering, I stood at the entrance, waiting to be greeted. A woman in black came out from the back, smiling kindly at me.

“I’m meeting James Barnes here for dinner.”

“Yes, Ms. Hawthorne, he told us to expect you,” she replied. “He’s been delayed but if you don’t mind waiting at the table, we can provide you with a drink.”

She led me past the other booths, as there were no tables in the open space. Glancing at the other people already there was strange in that many of the patrons reminded me of Buck. Handsome men, all with faces that seemed to come out of a model’s catalog, except I couldn’t even begin to guess their ages. Their dates, some men and some women, were just as beautiful, but in a natural way as if they came into their beauty on their own, and not with the intervention of a surgeon. Their gazes seemed to assess me as I passed, almost like I was being presented to a waiting court. Some of them nodded their heads subtly, as if acknowledging my presence. It was a little unnerving. We went through a door at the back into a conservatory. Filled with plants I noticed several species of orchids, including the same one that ended up in my apartment. Their scent filled the air with a perfume that was exotic. The golden glow from several candle-lit lanterns provided the only illumination, giving it a sense of intimacy. The woman stopped at the only table in the space, holding the chair for me.

“May I get you a glass of wine, Ms. Hawthorne?” she asked.

“White, any kind, please,” I answered.

She disappeared and I was left on my own for a moment to take in this small oasis. Returning quickly with a glass, she placed it on the table, then left me alone again. Nervously, I picked it up and took a sip, savouring the taste. Truly, I had never tasted any wine like it. Although it reminded me of a Chardonnay it’s floral notes indicated it was something else, something I liked.

“My apologies for being late,” said a voice as Buck entered the conservatory. I began to stand, but he put his hand out to stay my movement, slipping into the chair next to me. “Even I’m not immune to a flat tire. Is that the Viognier that you’re drinking?” I shrugged. “It’s a good choice. We own a vineyard in southern France that produces it. It’s all organic, no pesticides or artificial fertilizers of any kind. I think I’ll start with the same.”

The server came out and he gestured to my glass. She nodded, left, coming back quickly with a glass for him. He picked his up then waited for me to do the same.

“Here’s to the beginning of a friendship,” he said. For a moment, it seemed he wanted to say more but he smiled and sipped the wine instead. “I like your dress. It’s a Diane von Furstenberg, isn’t it? One of her signature wrap dresses. Beautiful colour on you and it goes well with your necklace.”

His words flattered me, more than I was willing to admit. A man that knew designers? It was making me feel a little floaty, with the romantic atmosphere, the impressive wine, and the total attention of this beautiful man in front of me. I almost forgot this was supposed to be a platonic dinner then the server came out with a salad for each of us and I realized I hadn’t ordered. With some confusion, I looked at him.

“Oh, it’s a set menu,” he said. “Vegetarian mostly, although we occasionally provide alternative protein if they’re from a sustainable and cruelty-free source.” My mouth must have been hanging open because he looked apologetic again. “I’m sorry, Gaia Life owns this restaurant. Most of our … staff eat here when they’re in Washington. When they’re not we charge exorbitant prices to the politicians we occasionally allow here, who want to court the environmental lobby. If we can’t change their mind, we make them pay one way or another.”

The salad was good, as far as salads go. So was the entrée, a pasta with a wild mushroom sauce that was unlike anything I had ever tasted. A thought came to me as our dishes were cleared and we waited for dessert.

“I’m in the environmental lobby.” We made eye contact. “But I’ve never heard of this place before tonight.”

He nodded. “That’s not unusual. It’s a special place, really. Something to remind us of what’s important.”

“You say us as if you’re something different,” I stated. His look bored into me. “Are you?”

Picking his glass up, he sipped the wine again. “If I said yes, do you promise to stay until I’ve told you everything?”

“As long as you start with how you knew my parents.”

He tilted his head. “That’s not the beginning though. Perhaps, I should start at the beginning.”

It looked like I was going to have to sit through something that was important to him. I nodded and he smiled, then said nothing. A moment later, dessert came out, a vegan chocolate cake with icing that I wanted to take home with me to have at two o’clock in the morning with a glass of milk. I must have said it out loud because Buck laughed, seemingly amused by my declaration. When our dishes were cleared, he looked at the server meaningfully.

“We’d like privacy now, Maria, please.” She nodded and we were finally alone. He breathed in, then out, and picked up my hand, seeming to inspect it. His touch was again gentle and somewhat sensuous. “I guess I could tell you how I know your parents, since you asked so nicely. I first met Fern when she was 21 years old, and on her honeymoon camping trip with your father, Matthew. I fell in love with both of them quickly, but they had already given their heart, body and soul to each other, and there really wasn’t room for me as well.” Wait, he met them 42 years ago? I wanted to ask for clarification, but he put his hand up and kept going. “Still, we became platonic friends and if anything had happened to your father when they were younger, I would have been there to comfort her. Their love stood the test of time, until your father moved on.” He hesitated for a moment. “Your mother will choose to move on with him soon.”

“She’s going to die? How do you know this?”

Buck’s face was sad for a moment. “All things die as all things have their time. Some have longer, some shorter. Humans, mortals have shorter. I have longer.”

Okay, that was cryptic.

“What are you? Please, don’t say vampire.”

I meant it facetiously, but he laughed heartily; a sound so joyous that it sounded like he really needed it. Then he became serious. “I'm part of something much older, more primal, bound to nature by bloodline and time.”

He stopped to gauge my reaction to his declaration. It should have shocked me, but my parents were quite the free spirits in many ways. We grew up being read all sorts of stories that had mythical and magical creatures in them; Minotaurs, fairies, elves, and the like. They were as much a part of my world as human fictional characters were. Except, I think that Buck was something more. When I didn’t get up and run out of the restaurant he continued.

“The forests in this world are all part of my home. I am the king of them, for they are part of the Earth. Those who you passed in the restaurant are some of my princes and their consorts, who can be mortal. One of them was one of my children. In real life and literature, I have been called a demon, or a spirit but we call ourselves fae. We are more than mortal but less than gods. I am the forest, and every forest on the planet is my responsibility but I fight a losing battle and when the last one burns, I’ll fade away. I will have failed because in our greatest time of need, I was unable to find a queen.”

The last part was said with such painful harshness that I saw the sadness laid bare within him. His pain and loneliness were suddenly evident in his voice and his eyes. After all the small but remarkable things I had witnessed connected to him in our short acquaintance I realized he had been preparing me to hear his story. In many ways we fought the same thing only he felt like it was his fault the environment was under assault while I knew it was the fault of others. Tentatively, I reached for his hand, then stopped. He faced me, with darkened eyes, a longing evident on his face.

“What happened to the last one? Why do you need one?”

“Even though I have been here on this earth for a long time I still have only so much time before I move on,” he replied. “My last queen moved on as the pain of what was happening to our kind pierced her soul. You see, not just any mortal woman can join with the one who is king. She must be one descended from the first woman, at least the first one according to most religions and beliefs.”

“Eve?” I asked.

“No, Lilith is what she is most commonly known as.” Buck sipped his wine. “She was before the Eve of Genesis and left the first mortal man who was written about, because he didn’t see her as his equal. He wished to control her as he wished to control nature and rule over it, not with it. Since then, the mortal men who write down the laws of many religions and belief systems have belittled and demonized her. We embraced her as our equal, as we were there before the religions, before the beliefs were ever written down. We just were. They called us evil because we saw the preservation of the natural world as more important than the comforts of ourselves, realizing that you didn’t have to sacrifice one to acquire the other. Although we were powerful our kind weren’t aggressive and we found it necessary to either retreat into nature, or to live as men do, hiding our true appearance. The female descendants of Lilith, had to hide themselves even more, taking mortal men as protectors and mates, which shortened the lifespan of their descendants. At various times they were hunted as evil. The history of this country has its own time darkened with the stain of their spilled blood.”

“Are you talking about Salem?” I watched his face closely as the pain flew over his face again.

“Yes, but every area populated by those who coveted wealth and influence had the madness. Even when refuge was found in certain communities once they came under attack we were forced to leave.” His voice was low and his eyes darkened, as if he had his own memories of the times. “They saw my kind as demons, servants of the dark one, when they were truly the ones with the darkness within. Even now their greed rules them, blinds them to the damage they cause. We are the guardians of the forests, the protectors of nature, and are not meant to serve alone. We’re meant to have a mate with us. But I’ve been alone for so long. My last mate, Daere, lost a sister to the madness, and it broke her. She faded away and I’ve been alone since, hiding my true self because most would see it in another less favourable light. Although I have searched for another queen, many of the current descendants of Lilith are unaware of the power that resides in them, or they choose to deny it, as they’ve been taught it is wicked and unnatural.”

“What do you really look like?”

I was intrigued by what Buck was telling me and although I had an idea in my head I wanted to know if the expectation met reality.

“Not entirely human,” was all he said. “But not as frightening as we have been portrayed in literature and religious texts.”

“Did my parents ever see you as you really are?”

“They did and were not frightened,” he answered. “But they were very open-minded and receptive to something different than them. Even though we didn’t see each other often, every time we did our reunion was full of joy. I watched you and your brothers grow into the people you’ve become now but it wasn’t until you saw me at your father’s funeral that I realized you had the gift, as I kept myself hidden to all there except your mother. You shouldn’t have noticed me, but you did. You have the blood of Lilith running in you.”

“She didn’t remember you,” I said. “After you whispered in Mom’s ear then left, I asked her about you, and she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about.”

He breathed out audibly then appeared somewhat sad and resigned. “I took myself out of her memories. It’s better that way. Her memories should only be of Matthew as she prepares to move on.”

It seemed like an admission of his love for them that he wanted her to think only of my father as she approached her final times. Which still left the question of why he sought me out. It was obvious but I wanted to hear it from his lips.

“What do you want of me?”

The words came out of my throat as my hand ached to touch his cheek. Almost as if he knew what I had just thought he picked my hand up, leaned into it as he placed it on his cheek, then he pressed his lips into my wrist.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he said, in little more than a whisper. He looked so vulnerable in the soft glow of the lanterns, the flicker of the candles sending shadows over his face. “I seek a queen, from the bloodline of Lilith, who is unattached to any other man. I wish to court you, in the hopes that you’ll agree to becoming my mate. I tell you this truthfully so that you know I have no hidden agenda, no desire to conquer you or control you. In exchange, I will give you extended life, longer than other humans, eternal youth while we are together, children who should reap the benefits of both of our bloodlines, and an opportunity to help heal this world of the damage done to it by greed and ignorance.”

Everything Buck offered to me was valuable, and desirable but there was one thing he didn’t say, and I pulled away. He knew immediately what I desired above all else and smiled apologetically.

“I can’t offer you love,” he said truthfully. “I have loved several mortal women in my lifetime and remember each one with great tenderness but also great sadness. Every time I have to say farewell to one of them, as they move on to the next realm, a piece of me goes with them. After Daere, I grieved for a long time and although I eventually accepted that I had to seek a new mate, I hoped not to find one, not wanting to hurt like that again. I should have faded away myself after a time, but I didn’t. If your mother hadn’t been married already, I would have courted her, but finding her too late just reinforced my belief that perhaps I was already too old for this world.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, and I truly was. “I’ve never been in love with any man, not enough to marry one. Still, I’ve been hurt, and I just feel that if it’s not possible to feel love for me, then the relationship is not a true one, not like my parents had. That’s what I’ve been holding out for, and I can’t compromise now, not when you want a commitment for so long.”

He sat back, clearly not expecting this response, as the disappointment was evident on his face. I did feel bad, but it was not something I was willing to work around. If he wanted a marriage that was also a partnership it would have to have an emotional component to it. It would be a lie, otherwise.

“Well,” he finally said, a grim smile on his face. “You are a woman of strong convictions. I admire that about you.”

“You don’t have to take my memories away,” I said. “I will not betray your trust and tell anyone a word of what you’ve told me.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, standing up and offering me his hand. He clasped my hand with both of his. “My sharing of information with you was freely given but your promise of discretion is greatly appreciated. May I offer you a ride home?”

“No, I’ll take a taxi. May I split the bill?”

Buck’s smile was amused and genuine. “No, I invited you as my guest. Thank you for coming, Ms. Hawthorne.”

The formality of his farewell was a little unexpected but, in a way, it was an acknowledgement that a barrier was in place between us. He helped me on with my jacket and watched while I left the conservatory. As I walked through the restaurant there was silence as the people who had been there when I arrived watched me leave. The woman who greeted me when I got there, handed me a small box, a piece of the chocolate cake, then opened the door for me as I stepped out onto the sidewalk. With my hand raised I hailed a taxi and went home, certain that I would never see James Barnes again.

Part 2>>

Series Masterlist

Please support the author by reblogging. Comments are also appreciated.

[myobsessionsspace]

BTS & The Camera

Their Chapter 1

K-Pop Idols have normally had a close relationship with the camera. Being called ‘Idols’ instead of artists or musicians is helpful in itself, as it gives more insight to what they actually are (a long conversation for another day).

They don’t start when they are on stage and stop when they are off. Their work involves a lot more than just the music.

The camera is constantly with them, their behind the scenes, their video live chats with fans, their daily vlogs, their variety show appearances, advertisements etc.

BTS are no different from the majority of kpop groups who have YouTube shows, televised series etc.

BTS have now been active for over 10 years and so it’s unsurprising that they have a long list of television appearances outside of just performing a song or two.

I’ve tried my best to put together a masterlist of just docs shows, series, episodes etc that are from Big Hit and later HYBE for the group or the members.

(Please let me know if I’ve missed something so I can update this)

Pre-debut the members would give insights into who they were and how they spent their days with short logs on YouTube, they also had different formats of keeping connected to fans and sharing their journey through Bangtan Bombs and Bangtan episodes. Starting their formatted series journey off…

Their first televised show ‘Rookie King’ in their debut year 2013

American Hustle Life & Go! BTS (2014)

BTS Memories (from 2014)

BTS Gayo & Run! BTS (from 2015)

Summer Packages & Winter Packages (from 2015)

Bon Voyage (from 2016)

Burn The Stage (2018)

Bring The Soul (2019). There is also a movie version.

Break The Silence (2020). There is also a movie version.

In The Soop (from 2020)

Youtube Shows

Tour DVDs

Tour DVDs with behind the scenes and candid clips

Not to mention their lives on both Vlive & Weverse

Chapter 2…

[chebyreksan]

Weeeell it’s

Feel like you fic (part 2)

————

Not finding him, the girl returned to her room and plopped down on the bed

,,Gosh, why me? no Caine, no answers. It’s F[censorship]G-’’

- come on, M[censorship]R! Ugh!

Shouting into the pillow, she raised her head to the bedside table and saw the box that ringmaster gave

- ..hmm

Taking the box, she sat down more comfortably

,, please, let it not be something dangerous. Please, not something dangerous..’’

She closed her eyes and opened the box.

- one..two.. three!

She opened her eyes abruptly. Inside was a small music box with a pattern of beautiful flowers with the inscription "moon flower".

- wow..- whispered, raising her eyebrows

Jester took out and carefully opened the box, from which music began to play. The melody filled the room, making her forget about many things, holding her breath, afraid to miss this moment. This music. This feeling.

The figure of a grand ballerina was spinning in the box and there was a plastic floor under it, through which someone can see how the mechanisms were spinning. She didn't think about anything, just lay down on the bed listening to music and realizing how much calmer she felt from this, as if she had returned to a place where there were no worries and it was warm. Somewhere far away from this place. Where was home felt

After that incident, everyone noticed Caine's strange behavior. He began to glitch more often, to wonder more often and try to hide it, which did not come out of the word at all. Everyone gathered in a circle when Caine left them again, "for something"

- Maybe he caught a virus?-ragatha asked thoughtfully

- Don't you think it has happened before?-zooble crossed their arms

- Mmm, I don't remember this, although he’s rarely been so thoughtful. Almost never!- said King, which surprised pomni because he sounded much more reasonable

- He's just going crazy, guys. Soon he will go so crazy that he will surpass Kinger- jax smiled-and he will take us to his swamp

- Jax, for God's sake shut up- ragata said with displeasure

- And-and if it's because of his new image?- gangle said softly

Everyone abruptly quieted down, looking at the gangle and she began to nervously rub her hands-ribbons

- w-well, this has never happened before, ri-right? Uh, as soon as he changed his appearance..then he became i-ill

- ..if we think about it like that-beginning of Ragatha - then it is quite possible. It sounds logical, at least

- I also think so now- pomni nodded

- Wow, gangle said something clever for the first time!- Jax laughed and zooble grabbed him by the neck, which made him groan

- D-Do you really think so?- gangle said in surprise

- Yeah, I can't think of much options for such behavior-Ragatha nodded and looked at the stage, not far from which they were sitting - it remains to figure out what to do

Zooble let go of Jax and he cleared his throat. Everyone fell silent, as if they expected someone to make the first move. And someone did.

- ..maybe we should ask him first-Pomni asked uncertainly

- Mh, as if he would just say-zooble rolled their eyes, adjusting their horns

- Hmm, maybe quite, if there is someone to trust-Jax seems to have come up with something- come on, guys , who does he trust most?

- K-Kinger?- gangle looked at the Kinger and he screamed

- What am I?!

- That's another question, who trusts Kinger?-rabbit raised an eyebrow

Except for Jax himself, everyone raised their hand and even Kinger, although he probably didn't know what it was about

- Oh come on? Are you kidding me?

- No one trusts you at all, so be quiet - zooble said with displeasure

Jax remained silent with annoying, clearly upset by such words. Pomni decided to say something so that there would not be a tense pause

- um, shall we ask bubble for help then? Caine trusts him, right?

- Probably, but bubble only appears with the help of Caine, and if we ask him to summon, he will suspect something - zooble said calmly

- okay, two things need to be found out: who does he trust and why did he change his appearance - ragatha folded her hands in a lock

- Well, he said to understand people and that it would be more comfortable for all of us..

Everyone looked at pomni in surprise and she herself stared back at them

- what? Isn't that right?

- um well..He didn't tell us the reasons -Ragatha began to explain

- More precisely, he said that it was just to see how we would react -Jax interrupted her

- .. wait, seriously?

- W-why did he say pomni the other reason?- Gangle looked at pomni , as if she could say the answer.

- Obviously, ladies and gentlemen-abruptly Jax stood up and pointed to jester- he trusts her a lot more than us. He told her the truth of his new appearance, which means she must find a way to return it back

Everyone fell silent. Pomni looked at everyone with confusion. She also stood up, showing her displeasure

- w-what? No! You can't claim that it was true. He could have lied to me too!

- Yep, but then why did he tell you another reason, hmm?- Jax chuckled contentedly

- To confuse us, probably

- But he doesn't need to confuse us, y-yes?-gang rubbed her hands-ribbons

Jester has reached a dead end. She wanted to prove something, but she couldn't do anything.

,, but it's true..if it was a game, he would have specifically said different versions, but..That's a f[censorship]r’’

Jax looked pleased and pomni started to get angry from the rabbit's behavior. Before she could do anything, bubble flew up to them, smiling broadly

- hello, friends! Caine asked me to tell you that now I will spend some time with you in adventures. Have you missed me?

- A-and what about Caine?- gangle said uncertainly

- He's fine, but a little busy. And now the adventure! Today we will play , "find a thing"!

Pomni frowned

- What kind of thing?

- You should already find out for yourself- the bubble giggled - this thing is very different from the circus, so you will find. Good luck!

- Wait-

but Bubble disappeared and pomni sighed.

- mmh, in any case, leave the victory to me - Jax put his hands in his pockets and went somewhere

- Mhm sure - doll said softly

Again, everyone has dispersed, they are doing something again. It seemed an endless task, but the ending melody was heard and jester breathed a sigh of relief. At the end of the game, everyone gathered at the stage, where Zooble was already standing and holding something, and next to her was babble

- well, participants, the winner was zooble , who found the very thing! Show them

Zooble lifted something above their and it turned out to be a disco ball

- of all things disco ball?- Jax frowned with displeasure .

- It would be better if it were a collection of bugs- Kinger muttered.

- all well done, you can go eat my gorgeous dish-

- G-GUYS!!

Suddenly, gangle collided with bubble and bubble burst. Gangle was shaking and gasping for breath

- t-there! There! I-

- Calm down, Gangle-Ragatha gently stroked her mask-calm down and tell me what happened-

- I-I found Caine! He's-he’s.. follow me! Follow me q-quickly!!

Gangle tugged on Ragatha's arm

- what? Did you find Caine?- doll looked surprised

- wow! Finally you are useful, Gangle!-zooble slapped jax on the back with all their might- Oh!!!

- f-follow me! Hurry up!

They looked at each other and quickly followed her. They went into the room and stopped. the ceiling of the room was high and glass, the walls were concrete and only a couple of crooked paintings were hanging, and some colorful figures were lying on the floor, but this was not what attracted the guys in the first place

Caine

He was just sitting in the middle of the room, leaning his back against a green figure with a blue screen of death in his eyes. Pomni reminded Ragatha when she was glitching, from which jester swallowed and decided to approach him carefully

- wait, Pomni - ragatha wanted to stop her already, but pomni didn't listen

Jester walked up to Caine and shook him a little by the shoulder. He didn 't react

- is-is-is he dead?- gangle whispered with fear, shedding tears

- It doesn't look like it, probably frozen again-shrugged Jax

- Don't panic, guys, we need to... we need to..- ragatha couldn't find words, trying to collect herself

- Need what? We'll leave him until he wakes up and that's it- zooble said irritably- we can't do anything with him anyway. He's coming back for the next game, so we're not wasting anything but time.

- Also true…Well, I'm off to eat

Jax carelessly left the room and zooble followed him. Gradually, kinger and gangle went out, leaving girls alone. Ragatha smiled awkwardly

- listen, I can see that you are worried..but everything will be fine

Ragatha put her hand on Pomni's shoulder, as if trying to support, but to jester it seemed like a doll's attempt to calm herself. Pomni looked at Caine and back at her friend , nodding

- I know,It's just..that it's all weird

- I understand, this is the nature of this circus

- Heh.. yes.. of this circus..

They were walking, but in her thoughts was somewhere far away from here. Even when they all sat down to eat, it seems everyone was thinking about the same thing, in Pomni’s opinion

If Caine dies, we won't have long to live either

[misguidedasgardian]

I need to (3)

... Set In

MASTERLIST

Summary: like they say, “out of sight, out of mind”, so you wanted to put an entire continent between you and Aemond

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: There are mentions of them being Minors! at some point in their relationship, cursing, cheating, angst, depression, underage drinking (in some countries), might miss some warnings

Wordcount: 3.4 k

Notes: jaja! can’t wait for you to read it!

You didn’t remember life without Aemond or his family in it

And even though you were officially dating for only three years, you had known him for longer than that.

They say there were five stages of grief, and even if you accepted it or not, you were grieving your relationship with a guy you don’t remember living without

In campus and all around it, you lived through the first three

Denial

Anger

And bargaining 

And when you got into the cruise with your godmother, you were hit like a truck by the fourth one

Depression 

One of the two weeks of the cruise you’d spend in your cabin, throwing up, seasick, and crying.

You did your rituals…

You deleted all the pictures, all the messages, and in all social media, all of it

Aemond’s texts started pouring in when he went to look for you in your room and Maris told him unceremoniously that you were gone, for good, went to Winterfell University

There were A LOT of texts 

He was going through something of his own

But you blocked him.

And then his brothers, which also contacted you, and then you just turn off your phone for the rest of the trip, after sending only one to your childhood friend

Jacaerys Velaryon

Telling him you were going to be there in Winterfell next semester, and how you’d love to see him

And then you turned it off

You didn’t believe he was going to answer you back

Jace, had been your best friend, he was your neighbor growing up, but at some point, when you started to date Aemond, he just drifted off away from you. Your relationship with Aemond wasn’t easy and he convinced you Jace was “completely in love with you like a puppy”, so, you cut him off, and he didn’t protest 

You missed him

You hoped he’d forgive you

And then one day, you woke up, and actually joined your godmother and the Lannisters for breakfast, were you ate everything you hadn't in the past week

Waffles with syrup, bananas and strawberries

Small jam and cheese sandwiches

Orange juice from Dorne

Coffee from Ashford

You ate and drank it all

Under the Lannister’s amused gaze

It seemed like each nautical mile you sailed away from Dragonstone and King’s Landing, the better you felt, you were detaching, you were cleansing and you were healing

And it felt good

And you knew what else felt good?

It was election week, the primaries, and the Lannisters, the main supporters of Viserys Targaryen, were in that cruise with you

Your Godmother had convinced them to join you, in support of you, and they were entertained to see “what happens” when they, the famous Lannisters, are not in king’s Landing for the most important political week of the year

You guessed mayhem, concern and worry, and perhaps the liberals taking power finally, without the Lannister’s money to  support the conservatives 

Tyland and Jason were convinced everyone was freaking out, and it was true, their cellphones hadn't stopped ringing all week, the Red Keep was in disarray 

“We are all in this cruise, if this shit sinks, the entire economy of the seven united states of westeros goes to shit”, Tyland laughed, and you laughed as you zipped on your juice

“I’m happy to see the little one up and about”, said Jason, they were idiots, but they meant well, they were your godmother’s family, him, their wives and children, all so blonde they could blind you

“She is a little lioness”, muttered your godmother, arranging a wild lock of your hair behind your ear, “who is paling, darling, you need to take some sun”

“Its winter godmother”, you said, amused

“That is what the winter deck if for sweety”, yes, a covered deck with a heated pool and magnificent glass to bake like an ant under a lens

Your godmother knew what you needed, she had been through some of the same, doubling your age, she had seen and lived things… so she let you

She let you slip shots and then take the stage at the karaoke bar with Jason to horribly sing, butchering your favorite rap songs, until you learned them all

She let you eat as much calories as you needed, chocolate above all, the girls at the chocolate shop of the cruise knew you by name

She let you cry and accompanied you in those beautiful and chaotic movie nights where they only played cheesy rom coms

She let you do the “Sea Snake” bit on the bow of the ship, screaming, “I’m on top of the world”, even though you were at sea level, the lowest point ever

And finally, she online shopped with you to buy you an entire new winter closet, because you were going to need it, you were going North, as cold as it gets

She even looked at Northerners real estate, she wanted to buy a small (huge) cabin, for you and her, you for next year, near campus and a sky center, and for her to visit you

Turns out they were such things as “retail therapy”, or “comfort food”. but your favorite part was when she went with you to the cruise’s “built-a-bear” store, where she made you a wolf plushie, a gray wolf dressing in clothes with the colors of WU, you felt like you just went back a few years, that you were child again

And it felt nice, knowing that you could be taken care of

You needed that

You never felt that way with… the unmentionable 

it was also funny because you took the Lannister’s kids, Tyland’s children and they were just so messy, jumping around, throwing everything in their path, throwing the white stuffing at each other… and seeing the face of your godmother was just so funny and cute 

And the part you felt most guilty for… was that Viserys had lost the primaries.

He was still on the race, he went second

But you knew he wanted the presidential, and as mayor of the most important state, you knew he could do it, those were next year

Anyways, that was not your problem, even though the Lannister were boasting on “what happens when the lion is not in the den”

And the peace of mind that brought you not having your cellphone on you, that you could focus on the important things

You didn’t even know what was happening outside that huge boat

Maybe the world had burnt up, and you wouldn’t tell until you arrived at White Harbor, perhaps Essos attackedWesteros with a nuclear head, and that was it

You couldn’t care less

You didn’t even know that a world was imploding, only not the ENTIRE world as is.

It turns out Maris had the right idea and you did scorch the earth

Only you didn't know 

The week in White Harbor was quick as well, the Lannisters couldn’t keep themselves out of the political career forever and abandoned the trip to go back to King’s Landing, but you and your godmother kept traveling

One week of a big hotel with spas on it, and you went to the Pentosi hot bathrooms so much you were scared your skin was going to peel off

And then…

Suddenly school started in three days and you were on a train to Winterfell

It was the middle of winter, and your godmother couldn’t pry you off of the panoramic windows in the big train, it was all tundra, snowy mountains and frozen lakes, and you loved it, all of it, and then, after one entire day of traveling

There it was

The view was breathtaking

The whole of Winter’s town, the capital of the North, was in a huge valley, rumor has it that underground water thermals ran under it, so it was a big green valley, even in the middle of winter, it was like a microclimate

The train entered the city trough one of the biggest mountains around it, giving you the entire view

You could see the University from where you were

The seven greatest universities in all of Westeros were once castles, castles of the Kings that ruled those lands, preserved for the use of the new generations of students.

It was an honor, for you in particular, for having study, now in two of them

“The truck with your things, the new ones and the old ones is in campus” your godmother muttered beside you, you are going straight to the school”, she said with a reassuring smile

You looked down at yourself

You were using the oversized jersey that Ben gave you, and some jeans and boots, for the cold

“You look… inappropriate, is not proper for you to wear those things, (y/n), the first impression is the most important one, and you have to look presentable, and serious”

You had to look back because you were certain Aemond was whispering things into your ear, like a freaking ghost

You looked at the plushie your godmother had gifted you and you felt silly for getting one, you were eighteen, not a little girl and…

You were so confused 

“You look lovely dear”, she said, waking you up from your stupor, she sometimes could read your mind, “is your first day, moving day, back from winter break, is perfectly fine”, she said sincerely

He was no longer in your life

You needed to remember yourself of that

You were eighteen and your closet looked like the one of a grandmother, you had to hide your jeans from Aemond

He is no longer in your life

He is no longer in your life

He is no longer in your life

You were free to do as you liked and pleased 

You took a long breath

He was not with you, he was not watching you, and even if it was, he didn’t get a saying anymore

He didn’t

Your godmother dropped you off in her rental car and the goodbye was long, but she understood your need to do this on your own, so she went to the headmaster’s office, according to her, it was an old friend of hers, and then, she left you, in front of your dorm building, next to the truck that brought the few boxes of your things in them

When you grabbed the last of the boxes out of the truck, you felt a sense of calm, of tranquility, you felt like finally you could breathe freely, when you turned around and you looked over the campus all dressed in autumn 

You felt the fresh air entering your lungs and you knew you had made the right decision. You couldn’t smell the sea, or the fish, or hear the seagulls, instead, pure fresh air coming from frozen tundra and mountains.

This is where you should be

“Hey you!”, you turned around with a wide smile as you saw Jacaerys Velaryon approaching you

“Jacey!”, you said. It sounds weird but Jace was Aemond’s nephew, son of his way older sister from his father's first marriage. And you were so surprised to see him. You dropped the box and he held to you tight, like no time has passed, like he still was your best friend

And that hug felt so good

You needed it

Apart from your godmother you didn't think you had embraced someone for a long time…

Aemond was jealous, and wouldn’t let anyone near you

You shook your head as you hid in Jace’s neck

“You never answered me back!”, he laughed, and you finally separated as he looked at your teary eyes, you were so happy and excited. “I was so excited when I got that text from you, I answered immediately and you didn’t answer!”

“Sorry, I turned off my phone I was… going through something”, you whispered

“Oh I heard”, he said, and you shared looks, he was entertained, while you were petrified

“What things?”, he laughed, scratching the back of his neck, then he leaned in and picked your box off the ground

“Let me help you with that”, you were such good friends that you had planned, together, to attend Winterfell University back in Highschool, he went on with his plans, wanting to stand out of his family’s shadow and live a little adventure, fly off the nest as it were, just like you wanted to do, he had succeeded first try. 

“That requires a coffee, or maybe a very large drink”, he laughed and you hissed

“How bad is it?”, you asked

“You were brought up a LOT in the family dinners over the holidays, lets just say you are not on the list for a christmas card anymore”, you both started to go inside the building, with a huge cart with all your stuff

“A friend lives in this dorm”, jace said smiling shyly as you looked around, amazed, it was huge, amazing

The campus was great from what you could see, every career had his own department, and the dorms where a few blocks away, all together 

“I’m so happy you are here”, he seemed relieved, he couldn’t stop looking at you, “I love the spirit”, he said signaling to your jersey, you only laughed, “you look different”

“Different how?”, you asked

“Better”, he said, “like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders or something, I guess that’s what happened”

He and Aemond had never gotten along, ever, they hated each other for some reason, maybe because Jace’s mom was like the black sheep of the family and had broken ties with them, money and privilege included, she also followed a career in politics, but as a liberal, that was something, and she married Jace’s father Harwin, someone who didn’t have a membership in King’s Landing country club, and that was saying something. 

You wouldn’t know, perhaps it was because of all the alpha male and all that. 

But he seemed genuinely relieved, that you were here, and you had broken off with Aemond, because you truly cared for one another

“I’m happy to be here too”, you confessed, with a reassuring smile, “just like we planned all those years ago”, you giggled

“Let get you settled in, and afterwards I will take you to meet everyone”, he said, and you nodded enthusiastically

“Since is my first year I have to stay in campus”, you told him, as you started walking, he followed you of course

“That is cool, living here was great! though since is my second semester went to live with a friend a couple of blocks away in a cool apartment”

“That amazing!”, you whispered, and he smiled tenderly at you. “Who is everyone by the way?”

“Well, for starters, my roommate, you are going to like him, he is one of the coolest guys you will ever meet, and then there is Tallheart…”

“Ben?”

“You know him?”, he asked

“Thanks to him that I’m here!”, you cheered and he smiled, and suddenly you were out of the elevator and in front of your new room

“Sarah Snow”, you whispered, reading the name at the door 

Oh this girl had gotten a single from the first semester, and now she was getting a roommate, she was going to HATE you, but you had to suck it up, with Jace here, and the prospect of new friends, you could totally spend more time off your room, you would try to bother her the least you could

You missed the entertained look Jace gave you, he just left the cart and took a step back

So you knocked twice and opened the door slowly, giving her time to react to your arrival, once you could look inside the room, a girl with dark brown hair and beautiful icy blue eyes jumped of the seat in her desk with open arms

“ROOMIE!”, she cheered, and ran towards you and engulfed you in a tight hug, you screeched at the sudden of it all but returned the hug. “I’m so happy you are finally here!”, she said releasing you as quickly as she hugged you, “look, I put everything in order, cleaned your corner!”, she said, showing you around, you indeed had your part of the room, even if it was blank, it was spotless. “I’m Sarah!”, she said looking at you with a huge smile. You introduced yourself back

“I’m happy to be here!”, you offered with a wide smile as you looked at your new room, it had a bigger window, but the size was ultimately the same

“I was so happy when they told me I got a roommate, you know, it gets lonely in this big room you know”, she spoke like ten words per second, but you loved her already, she had such a good vibe about her

You looked back at Jace and he was just looking at Sarah with a shy smile

“Jacey! what are you doing here?”. she giggled, “don’t tell me you are pulling all the stops already with the new girl?”, she teased

“No, we go way back”, he said, and Sarah shrieked

“That is so incredible, such a small world uh?”, she giggled, as she went to Jace and took the box off him

“Now let us have some girls time”, she teased and you smiled widely at him

“See you both at seven then? you’ll meet everyone”, you shook your head, so excited 

“Sure”, you said at the same time, and he left you, scratching the back of his neck, you both looked at each other and smiled

“What’s the story there?”, you asked at the same time and laughed

While she helped you unpack, and hang posters and pictures, you talked about the things you could share and use from the other, and you found yourself thinking Sarah was an old friend, that is how it felt like

The clock turned seven and she grabbed your hand and went to “the tavern”, an amazing underground palace that served from coffees to the coolest drinks and locally made beer 

There he was Jace with a group of friends

Sarah had told you Jace was good friends with his brother, he went to live together, and you loved that for Jacey, and Sarah and him… well… Jace was shy and Sarah was too, at least with guys, and she thought he was flirting, but he was also intimidating by her brother, it was a whole things, so you agreed to help her, to scout the field as it where

“She is my friend from King’s Landing”, introduced Jace

“my roommate!”

You looked around the room and you smiled greatly when you recognized two familiar faces, Baela and Rhaena. They got up and hugged you tightly, they were Aemond’s cousins, Jace’s… aunts? weird family 

“This is my first success story!”, chanted Ben, and he introduced you to his girlfriend, Alysanne Blackwood, a beautiful girl tall as a model, they both were a sophomore 

“Jon Dustin”, he kept introducing

“Where is my annoying brother?”, asked Sarah, looking around

“Oh he had some last minute things to do”, said Jace, “but no matter”. 

You don’t remember a time in which you hadn't had so much fun, continuously

No shady comments about what you said, or did, nor angry, disappointed gazed towards you, you drank beer, and laughed your face off 

Ben was a good representative but you ate ribs, french fries and drank beer.

And it was only the first night ever.

And when you were unsuccessfully trying to wipe barbecue sauce of the edges of your lips, you felt another figure approaching, you looked up and made eye contact with a tall man, dark hair, piercing blue eyes that scanned the table and then looked down at your sauce covered face

“There you are, you bastard!”, mocked Jace, “the semester is not even on yet and you are already to the neck in paperwork”

“what can I say, I like to keep myself busy”, you kept looking up at him, and his eyes never left yours, they were a glacier blue, mesmerizing really, “and who’s this?”, he asked

“I’m (y/n)”, you introduced yourself with your hand all coated in barbecue sauce just as your face

Not your finest moment

more notes: Alright, at first i didn't want Cregan to show up, but then I thought I was just going to be too cruel... so, there it is, not everyone meets trough a "meetcute", sometimes it is when you least expect it... so... there it is...

Its so hard to create out of the tip of my tongue the "ASOIAF" similars with things fromt he real world... like... when reader sang rap songs I imagined her singing "WIthout me" from Eminem jaajja, or I imagined making referenes from Jackie Kennedy and Marilyn, and all... ANYWAYS JAJA i hope it sounded just as cool like that...

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