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blaacknoir · 1 year

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Hey, same curious butthead from before.

Thank you for the answer, I think it's a fair point of view. I must admit with utmost guilt I want to add to it, reply in a way I suppose but I am shy, hence another ask.

And also. Goddamn you for mentioning the Madelyn milk pumping scene. I was aware and did not need that, I already think about the weird milk shit way too much so thanks for that... I just thought the scene between him and Starlight was interesting and in some ways, he kind of was robbed of his humanity by Vought so I wouldn't be surprised if that had been part of the list too (maybe not).

But I also did want to clarify about what I meant by 'humanized' because it can mean several things in context when it comes to Homelander I guess is what I'm getting at?

There's definitely a negative side that can come with that too... (At least in context with Homelander... ugh). There's been some discussion I've seen about that, and most can recognize the name 'John' is used specifically to 'humanize'--'The Homelander'.

By this I mean, and yes, you're right in there likely being negative attachment to the emotional trauma he went through as a child connected to that name and time period in his life. But I (and I know this may sound crazy but this is Homelander we're talking about...) think that bothers him less than how these people used it. They convinced him he was supposed to be or become a god. But then they would turn around and constantly use this name to 'humanize' him or bring him 'back down to earth', and that's bound to cause a lot of conflicting feelings and unrest.

(An argument could also be made that it's possible Vought had dehumanizing names for him as well, such as calling him things like 'the subject' or others along those lines, especially depending on how Vogelbaum would want him to react. No one ever thinks of this, but the implication was there in the Diabolical series. He reacted very intensely to people calling him a monster. How much you wanna bet baby John superheard scientists calling him a 'thing' or 'monster' all the time, and used 'john' when they wanted something from him...)

At the same time, Vogelbaum did mention that John used to be a sweet boy who curled up next to him and loved certain ideas. But that this wasn't who he needed him to be (fuck you Vogelbaum). And i think it could even be argued that Homelander didn't even really get to 'pick' being The Homelander.

Even if he did get to pick the name, he didn't get to pick 'what' he was supposed to be from the very beginning, it was always going to be what Vought 'needed' him to be, and even now he's still struggling with that without realizing just how out of sorts Vought made him as they continue to demand he be a god, and then tell him he has to be human, while reinforcing that he isn't good enough to be a god. There would be a different kind of trauma attached to being Homelander too, but a trauma nonetheless.

In his specific situation, the only thing he ever had was the 'illusion of choice'. Vought was going to control him no matter what in the end.

And that leads into the other part I mentioned. There is a part of Homelander that wants to be humanized. Not in the sense of a 'god' being made to feel 'mortal'. But in the sense of being heard, seen, wanted, and loved. In the sense that everybody wants to be humanized. To be recognized as a person with value inherent simply in living, that your existence is valid and worth something without any strings attached. And we see that Homelander doesn't just legitimately want this, there is a huge part of him that desperately needs it.

The kicker comes into play with that his name was often used with veiled intent, and false promises. And always with fear still behind it. I think it's a little more like this.

(Side note, another positive attachment to consider may be American movies with typical white guy American heroes. We do know he loved those and even mentioned John Wayne.)

He knows for a fact he is never going to get this feeling from being 'Homelander', the god among men. People just won't view him in a sense where he just gets to be. He is there and loved only because they need him. The problem is that the name John was used almost like a dangled carrot. It was the way they humanized him, but never the way he needed, so it's more likely he's resigned himself to never having what he truly wants in hearing that name, so he instead focuses on the other 'dangled carrot' from his childhood.

(Another side note, I do think this could explain his slight obsession with Maeve as she was likely the closest he ever got to this in a genuine form.)

'Homelander', the god that gets to feel superior to everyone else and is needed. Something is better than nothing, right? And he would prefer to be that revered 'god' than the man who he believes will never be loved. It's sorta like... Taking the extra step to dehumanize himself so others can't do it to him... (I say as I am aware I am describing a very common trait of behavior within certain personality disorders and even just human behavior).

But that doesn't mean the 'man' just stops existing either. I know I know, it's a lot of psychoanalysis and can definitely be confusing and up to interpretation, but I know a little about trying to find yourself while navigating what others expect you to be and how badly that can break you down before you realize it. So maybe a little bit is even projection, but the thing is that the personas we often build up to protect ourselves from being hurt? They're never really the real us... And 'Homelander' is definitely what he uses to protect himself.

I think it's more likely 'Homelander' became a sort of shield to protect and empower the little boy who never got to be loved or wanted as anyone needs. But that doesn't mean the boy ever left. He just gets deeply buried under all the other shit. (Same with Billy in a way, it's what makes them so similar and their stories so compelling, and I definitely don't think that lady from the group therapy was just there to point out flaws in Butcher, this show is smarter than that.)

Apart from all that, I... see no issues with his last name and think it's a really... Really silly thing to gripe over. And I'm sorry, but it is! It's more absurd to laugh about it like high school bullies, like c'mon. Gillman. Why, because 'Gill'? Because 'fish' and that they make The Deep so pathetic in the show?? I don't see the problem. What is wrong with fish? Sharks and badass deep ocean terrors of all kinds have gills too, and that ain't nothing to laugh about let me tell you (ANGLER FISH). But It's not that deep.

Pun intended. (But also, seriously consider why that would even bother you as if you wouldn't be all over that shit with no qualms if he were a gorgeous merman instead.)

And also... Billy Butcher is definitely an adorable tea addicted British baked bean and absolute tsun tsun. BUT HE IS NOT INNOCENT AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR LUCY.

(guuuhhhh, sorry for how long this was... And how inconsistent I am tired... I thought you wouldn't answer and I got excited, thanks again though)

Buddy I am not even gonna be able to address all of this 😭

Except.

#JusticeForLucy2023🐳

#asks #Anonymous #homelander #the boys #long post #JusticeForLucy #we'll just add that to the list of sea life that needs avenging #JusticeForTimothy

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