#Just repeat it like a mantra
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the call-and-response feel of @mrvelocipede’s same flavor! post kind of got me thinking about both doing that on purpose (you could bat the same post back and forth til it got too long! watch two different knitting styles and projects go! I think it’d be neat), and also (o no) about playing the exquisite corpse game with a sweater.
On one hand, o no, that’s like. The worst medium for the game; each addition takes hours. The end result might not be wearable. And sure, the whole premise is artsy, but it’d be nice if the finished work was exciting and you could wear it. You’d have to have a certain number of participants for it to work. It’d be silly, but it’d involve spreadsheets. Lot of postage. I’d have to have them come back to me at a random stage, because starting a project’s really easy compared to continuing it and I dunno, man, the more I think about it the worse the idea seems, and the more I want to do it.
So we got:
The fan art knit project (not actual fan art, but like, fan art aimed at people. so like, knitting stuff for people but ~fancy~ and ostensibly (heck yeah) with a sort of metatexual* element, in that it involves making things for people about making things for people)
The ongoing call-and-response idea (the most low-key, because that’s just tumblr, although I woukdn’t be able to start any for a while)
Exquisite Corpse Project which dude, dude, you cannot organize that for this year with just 6 days til October and so many other commitments, you don’t network, you don’t have what you need for this—but—here you are trying to publicly set out a weird little foundation for the idea anyway
exquisite corpse but in person, because in my experience most people can knit or crochet at least a little bit** and that would be kinda interesting, and the results would be very different from what you’d get by successfully hitting up tumblr-famous knitters (the audacity!)—it’d be less curated and more of a chaos project— but i would like this to get more traffic than i am comfortable with having like, in front of my house. so you could build something like a tiny free library to house it, but you’d need it hosted someplace more public.
so aside from everything else, I need a lot more creative breathing room and a PO box.
*have I still got it? I can’t even tell ** big element of this for me is when someone doesn’t but then crochets a perfect chain for you like a party trick and you can kinda see when he was six years old, hanging out with his crafty hip 70s grandma, etc. i dunno man, there’s something in me that grates against the poetic little tumblr essays about the connection and history. but when I see it done, it is incredibly moving somehow.
#knit#knitting#knitblr#~art~#O right i forgot: i’m a cool artsy pretentious guy#Just repeat it like a mantra
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Lightsaber Theory: Obi-Wan "Sith Lords are Our Specialty" Kenobi consistently loses duels to Dooku not for any reason of technical form mismatch or lack of ability, but because Dooku is not even pretending to try to kill him. Resultantly, Obi-Wan can’t figure out what the fuck is going on when they fight.Â
Obi-Wan: (preparing to defend an expected lethal strike) You’ll answer for your enormities, Count!
Dooku: (giving him the lightest love tap on the leg) Don’t be so sure, my special good lineage baby boy, so perfect in my eyes.Â
Obi-Wan: …What?
Dooku: What?
Which Dooku and Obi-Wan proud lineage moment is even the most unhinged? There are so many to choose from! Is it Dooku’s frequent inability, both in AotC and TCW, to keep from spontaneously gushing about Sidious’s plans and even his own dark secrets to Obi-Wan?? Is it the time in Labyrinth of Evil where Dooku drags a long-suffering, bored Grievous over to watch a holorecording of Anakin and Obi-Wan thwarting his plans yet again, to point out how beautifully they’re working together as a team and how much he likes watching their lightsaber work evolve? Is it in the recent Brotherhood novel, where Obi-Wan just has to casually namedrop Qui-Gon to get Dooku to do exactly what he wants?
Obi-Wan is a big problem for Sidious in his mission to destabilize and corrupt Anakin, and Sidious knows it. He needs him out of the picture to do the same isolating, evil bullshit that worked so well when ensnaring Dooku himself. But the war has been going on for years now, and guess who remains inconveniently alive? And whose job was that to take care of? Oh yeah. I remember. His useless, Padawan assassin-collecting apprentice: fucking Count Dooku. By the time of RotS, Sidious has specifically ordered Dooku to make fucking sure Obi-Wan is dead only for him to completely ignore the command about a half-dozen times.
Going by the Stover RotS novelization, in the same scene where Dooku also literally refers to Obi-Wan as his fucking grandson actually, add that to our earlier list, Sidious reiterates that KILL OBI-WAN is the plan (over the sound of Dooku’s loud complaining) moments before that final duel. I kind of wish we’d gotten a shot of Sidious's incredulous, enraged expression as Dooku knocks Obi-Wan unconscious and pins him safely out of the way. He is, once again, going out of his way to not kill Obi-Wan in that duel, and this time directly disobeying his Master to his face after they just had a conversation about it. You just know exactly what Sidious must be thinking at that moment. Oh, Dooku. You are so fucking fired.
#count dooku#obi wan kenobi#darth sidious#disaster lineage#lightsaber nerd stuff#the clone wars#revenge of the sith#star wars books#Sidious is so done#you know he had to wake up every morning of Dooku's apprenticeship and just repeat a calming mantra about not killing him yet#oh no the notoriously defiant rule breaker Jedi I corrupted is acting like a notoriously defiant rule breaker#but really#I love that Dooku was secretly (not so secretly) proud of Obi-Wan
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#finally just clipped this myself so i could just have it instead of just repeating to myself like an auspicious mantra#youve got no PRINCIPLES! just like allll the rest#kvetching
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i'm going to beat dark souls 3* tonight
#peter posts#*code name for this writing project. it's not a very clever one#however repeating this to myself like a mantra is just goofy enough maybe it'll work????
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Sticker page of stickers by @chick-it-out!!!
#stickers#sticker book#chicken stickers#chicken#all time favorite sticker#i cannot express just how much i love this one in particular#like. i am always at any given moment rotating all aspects of this chart in my mind#theres something about all of the little parts to it that make it perfectly suited to repeat in my mind#it is a chant#chants chants chants#it is a pun#chants chickin pants#it is CHICKENS#it is cute#it is animals in pants#it is a phrase to hype myself up a mantra if you will#take a chants! take a chants!#chants to self to take a chants (chance) (chicken pants) as chickens strut around in various styles of pants cheering me on
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The Winged Servant - 13
content warnings: brainwashed whumpee, non-human (angel) whumpee, some weird angel discrimination, let me know if I missed anything!
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Badly, actually, was how I felt about crepes.
It wasn’t the crepes that were the problem. It wasn’t the sloppiness that required eating them, not even how unprofessional I had to be to eat them in front of someone.
No, mostly the problem was the people. And maybe the fact that I’d slept sitting up against a wall for four hours total the night before, and I was starting to feel a pinch between my eyes.
Kieran led me up a staircase, back to the ground level of the castle. I had been there the night before, when I had been too focused to look around. It felt more like a pavilion than an entire floor of the castle. There were a few walls, a few separations of rooms, but it was mainly held up by columns and pillars. There were tables all over, going past the ends of the columns and all the way outside. Two guards stood by a table together on the edges. I wondered if they were standing in the place where the royal family had killed a guard the night before.
“We hold breakfast and dinner here every day for anyone that wants it,” Kieran was saying as we walked past empty tables. “It’s not usually super popular, because there aren’t always a lot of different options of food, but it’s nice for people to have a place where they’re guaranteed a meal. Crepes are usually a hit, because they’re so customizable, but most everyone’s cleared out by now.”
It didn’t look to me like most everyone was cleared out. I counted four tables outside and two inside with people sitting at them. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see how many people attended during actual meal times.
And we walked into a kitchen, and it was so loud. I must’ve been around large groups of people at least a few times before I gave my memories to the royal family, but not since becoming a servant. And for the more recent years of it, I hadn’t even served families of nobility. The sound echoed and bounced around, getting stuck in my head like peanut butter on the roof of my mouth.
“What do you want on your crepe?” Kieran asked as we walked into the kitchen, and I swallowed. There had to be at least forty people working here.
“Whatever you see fit, sir.”
He grinned at me, looking slightly confused. “It’s a crepe for you, Onyx. Not me.”
“I don’t…” I glanced to the side. Enunciate, don’t mumble, don’t trail off in the middle of a sentence. I knew how to do this, knew how to answer questions the way that the royal family liked, even when I was tired. “I’ve never had a crepe, sir,” I admitted.
“Really? Never? Do you know what they are?”
“Yes, sir. I think- I think I might have had them before, but… not any time recently. I don’t remember. My apologies. Regardless, I will be grateful for whatever you wish to provide me with.”
“... Okay.” He stared at me for a bit. “If I tell you a few different toppings, will you tell me which ones you like the best? We could go from there.”
“Sir, I don’t- good servants don’t have likes and dislikes.” He had to know that, right? We were in the kitchen of a castle, surrounded by people that were presumably servants. He had to have been testing me, making sure I knew the rules. I did. I could be good.
“You’re not supposed to have likes and dislikes?” he repeated, and I shook my head. “That’s- um, we’re gonna talk about that later. Once you’ve got food in your stomach. Do you have certain toppings that you might be… more grateful than others about?”
This was dangerous territory. If I let myself think too hard about the toppings, I was veering into likes and dislikes and opinions. If I didn’t, I’d be ignoring direct orders.
“Usually I have Her Majesty The Queen’s leftovers for breakfast, sir,” I said quietly. “And I usually get some toast that she doesn’t always eat, and it has strawberry jam on it.”
“You like strawberries?”
I could be a good servant. No likes or dislikes, but I could be good enough to find a way around it. I didn’t like strawberries, that would’ve been opinionated. But maybe if I worded it differently? More objective? “Strawberries… taste good. Sir. I think.” I wasn’t supposed to think, or at least not like that, so the statement wasn’t quite right. But closer, because Kieran was grinning again. Like he’d discovered a cheat code in a video game.
“Yeah. Okay. Thank you for telling me that, Onyx. We’ve got strawberries. Is whip cream okay?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Great. That’s like, the two most important ingredients for every crepe I eat. Do you have any dietary restrictions?”
Hm.
I knew what dietary restrictions were, of course. I had plenty of restrictions, dietary and otherwise. Of course there were things I couldn’t do, things I couldn’t eat. But they were restrictions imposed by the royal family. There was fruit that made my throat itch, or things that Prince Ryan made sure not to give me, but those weren’t things that I couldn’t eat. Not if someone asked me to.
“I, um. I will eat whatever you see fit, sir. Would you like to know the things that the royal family did not allow me to eat?”
He pursed his lips. Wrong answer, then, but that didn’t make sense. That wasn’t just me trying to think of the right thing to say, that was an exact line from the script that I was always supposed to follow. That was what the royal family had trained me to say.
But Kieran was not the royal family. Of course he had different rules, different uses for his servants. Of course my old script wouldn’t cut it anymore.
“Okay,” he said eventually. “I don’t want to know what the royal family didn’t let you do. I’m going to get you a crepe with strawberries and whip cream. There are other fruits, if you’d like any?”
“... I will eat whatever you see fit, Sir.” I already knew that was wrong, but what the fuck else was I supposed to say?
“Are you at all interested in blueberries? Or mangos?” I hesitated, and he smiled thinly. “I know. Whatever I see fit. Alright, then. I’ll get the other fruit for you too. If you find a seat somewhere, I’ll bring it out in a few minutes. I like eating outside the best, but we can eat wherever you’d like.”
“Of course, sir,” I managed weakly.
Find a seat somewhere.
A daunting task, because the tables meant six tables of people that I didn’t know if I was supposed to bow to or what titles to call. But regardless, it was a task that had been asked of me.
I could manage whatever task I needed to that had been asked of me.
This task was different, though. It was a choice given to me. Choices weren’t given to me. Servants were for orders. And I supposed it wasn’t a real choice—I was picking the one that I thought Kieran would prefer the most—but it was still terrifying.
Outside, first. That’s what he’d said, that he liked the tables outside the best. Four tables with people at them. Three—one group had left in the time since I’d been out here. Three tables of people. And when I was next to a person, of course, all my attention was supposed to be focused on them. Serving them to the best of my abilities. Alone out here, with three tables of people, I was forced to notice the way they stared at me. Or rather, my wings.
This wasn’t new, exactly. Back when noble families were allowed to know about me, the queen had told me to hold still while they felt the texture of the fur on my wings. They’d never felt anything like it, they’d said. Fascinating, they’d called me. They would’ve loved to see me fly, and it was the only time I thought Her Majesty might have regretted breaking my wing.
And it was her right to display me. It was the nobility’s right to stare, to pet my wings and ask how much force it would take to rip the skin that stretched between each bone.
I just wasn’t used to the staring anymore, that was all. If Kieran planned to have me out in public more often, then perhaps I needed to get used to it again.
I eventually chose a table close to the door, so that Kieran would not have to walk far to get to me. So that he would not need to look hard to ensure that I did not run away. I wouldn’t, no matter how many privileges I was given, but it was still odd to give me so many. Outside, alone, picking a seat and waiting for breakfast to be delivered to me. It was wrong. It was not how things were supposed to be.
And yet, it was how Kieran wanted it to be. So I stared at the grain in the wood that the table was made out of and ignored the way that people were staring at me.
~
taglist: @rainydaywhump @kaleidoscope-of-thoughts @toyybox @risk606
#i'm so absolutely obsessed with onyx's script#idk if this is noticeable to everyone but one of my favorite parts is whenever anyone says more than a few sentences to onyx he picks out-#-where the order is and just ignores everything else said#to him it's like. useless small talk. the only thing that matters is what's been asked of him#in this chapter we see it in the 'find a seat somewhere'#but it's also been in a few other places#like the last thing ryan said to onyx- 'do what they tell you. don't get hurt'#and since that one takes precedence (since it came from ryan) onyx has been repeating it like a mantra in other chapters#the winged servant#rainbow's ocs#rainbow's whump#onyx tag#whump#kieran tag#whump writing#angel whumpee#non human whump
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Crazy how some BL fans don't even recognize when they are misogynistic...
The way so many hate on the female part of the audience and creators in general instead of just the ones who are truly garbage. And then say shit like "unfortunately this genre was founded by women". Excuse me, but without them we wouldn't have this very queer media nowadays.
The ironic fact that this genre mainly exists because women tried to escape the patriarchal society + not all of these women were cishete to begin with + some of them were even gay cismen under female pseudonym...
It annoys me so much that even bl fans drag the anti-bl propaganda along. You can post as many academic research and history of the genre but people just don't care and rather sit in self pity or whatever that is these anti-bl-bl-fans do...
Ya know that mindset of "our genre is problematic as a whole but we watch it anyways because we don't care OR not even care enough to fact check if these accusations are even true" vs. "acknowledging this genre has some problems but it also has an interesting and good development and we don't tolerate the bad parts and reflect on them"
When will people understand that women and gay men and queers in general basically sit in the same boat of discrimination and have a few things in common. Stop pitching against each other like that... when we can exist next to each other together.
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The world doesn't need me to write meta comparing and contrasting William de Worde and Moist von Lipwig as examples of writing flawed protagonists
#i am repeating this to myself like a mantra#granny weatherwax could also get in on this except that i haven't read the witches books recently#and i haven't read the watch books in even longer#in general discworld is really good at characters with Qualities#that become strengths or weaknesses based on the situation#i just really like the industrial revolution books#my posts
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reading this book with gritted teeth and trembling hands lying to myself like "it doesn't bother me at all that there's some sort of underlying thing between my boyfriend and this record deal girl"
#live#liv reads foi#I'M TOOORN#i wanna take my time reading it because i wanna spend as much time with him as possible!!!#but ALSO#I DON'T WANNA DRAG THIS OUT#i don't want them to get together and a part of me wants to skip to the end to see if they DO#even if they do though#*flicks myself in the nose* she'd be an ex#i'm endgame i'm endgame i'm endgame#it's just me it's only me i'm his forever girl#*repeats this to myself in the mirror like a mantra*#IT'S FINE I'M FINE
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was actually angry at something kind of minor when i saw that "you are just mad because you are angry" post and it made me laugh so hard i forgot i was in hater mode. god bless the funny bitches of this earth
#liv rambles#gonna repeat this to myself like a mantra when i get needlessly mad. you are just mad because you are angry#if i didn't have laughter in my life i would've perished at a very young age. funney saves the world
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let me stay tender-hearted, despite despite despite
let me stay tender-hearted, despite despite despite
let me stay tender-hearted, despite despite despite
let me stay tender-hearted, despite despite despite
let me…
#my ramblings#my meds aren’t enough for me to handle this#so i’m just going to repeat this like a mantra#let me stay tender-hearted. despite despite despite
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damn time passes so slowly when you're horribly depressed & nothing interests you & you're bored out of your mind
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mr. e unhinged bits compilation
#what if you knew a magician who wouldn't stop doing bits and trying to kill people. what would happen#phonetic southern accent mr. e isn't real and he can't hurt me (mantra i repeated to myself while making this and ignoring the new 52)#still don't know how i'm tagging this dude#mister e#a few of these are edited for cohesiveness btw. like there's another panel in between the first two and the third in the second to last set#i just cut it out because it wasn't related to his insane bit#long post
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giffing is fun bc sometimes its like i thought about making this set for two weeks i carefully picked each scene and the frames of the scene and overlaid them with this other scene specifically bc of whats happening in the scene and i carefully picked the colors to highlight or change and the composition and i carefully picked this quote that goes with the scene and it took me most of a day to put together and i waited to post it at just the right time and it has optimal tags and then gets 5 reblogs and 50 likes
and sometimes its like i threw this set together in five minutes with minimal recolor and no text and it got 500 reblogs
#i don't mean it to sound like i'm complaining or anything lol#i'm just working on this set thats literally taking me all weekend and i'm trying to brace myself for it doing badly lol#giffing is really a labor of love#i'm doing this bc i want to do it bc its fun bc i like it#white knuckle gripping the edge of my desk as i repeat the mantra#giffing#isabella speaks
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i only think im unlovable because i havent found the right people yet, i only think im unlovable because i havent found the right people yet, i only think im unlovable because i havent found the right people yet, i ONLY THINK IM UNLOVABLE BECAUSE I HAVENT FOUND THE RIGHT PEOPLE YET
#im repeating this mantra for the forseeable future!#imagining making a post that said 'im safe now' and then realising that ha!#im gonna have to detransition anyway#but idk maybe its not so bad when im actively choosing it?#not to detransition but to leave this mess that is going to result in the detransitioning#i dunno whatever fuck it im going to SUCCEED and THRIVE in the face of this bullshit#there is no force stronger on earth than SPITE#ILL BE TRANSITIONING AGAIN SOON#like after i get financial independence and dont have to worry about being homeless#things are bad now but theyre gonna get better!#if i say all this to myself enough times i will believe it!#all my trans joy may have been sucked out but guess! what!#im gonna get it back again!#i fucking will just fucking watch me#personal stuff
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I really hate it when someone says or does something mean and unfair and I try to address how wrong it is, and all they can react as "hey this is just internet and we are also strangers move on why are you getting so worked up about words in the iNtErNeT fRoM sTrAnGeR grow up pls I can be a mean unfair bitch for no reason to StRaNgErS on the InTeRnEt 🥺🥺🥺"
Like, the fact that we are not sharing physical space doesn't cancel the fact that what you just did not only didn't make rational sense, but was mean? And you are not supposed to be a rude bitch to "strangers" either? How are you a mature, secure adult if the only way you can handle the fact of misjudging someone and being rude is to try to gaslight them with that "you're overreacting uwu" thing? I am reacting just right, by pointing out an unfair action for being unfair, I am physically unable to react more rationally.
#/vent#personal#internets#the even dumber part was that they ALSO tried to claim that I could not take the L of being 'rejected'#excuse me what?#I am not addressing it because I am desperate for your attention I am addressing it because it wasn't fair#like you know that one wojack picture with a guy sobbing behind a smug mask?#the whole chat I could not see them as anything but that image. just that image the whole chat.#like if you have to constantly repeat how I am a nobody for you like a mantra are you really secure?#anyway I've finally reached the point of blocking people#I normally don't want to because we're all idiots in the same fandom loving this world#but the problem is.. they aren't#they *admitted* having no passion or knowledge about the source material#and just using bits from the source material to create their own thing#fandom is not a grinding ground for 'platform' or someone's narcissism its for LOVING source material#it is the case of 'just create OCs and original project' but these people never do because-#-fanart and fanfics will always get more attention than original stuff. even if they're not from a fan.#though i am generally apprehensive towards popular creators. they are way too willing to make enemies#same vibe as rich asshole wasting money willy nilly#me and the girls are not spoiled like this because we've known traumatizing levels of loneliness#so we are reluctant to completely cut anyone off let alone being mean just to show off
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