#Just finished the book and thought not only that this parting line went hard as fuck

[saints-who-never-existed]

"In Moby Dick, Ishmael tells of seeing the skeleton of a sperm whale assembled in a grove of palm trees on a South Pacific island. "How vain and foolish," He says, "for timid untraveled man to try to comprehend aright this wondrous whale, by merely poring over his dead attenuated skeleton... Only in the heart of quickest perils; only when within the eddyings of his angry flukes; only on the profound unbounded sea can the fully invested whale be truly and livingly found out."

But, as the survivors of the Essex came to know, once the end has been reached and all hope, passion, and force of will have been expended, the bones may be all that are left.

- In the Heart of the Sea, Nathaniel Philbrick.

[osachiyo]

"JUST THE TIP, BABY ! "

❐ content warnings ➩ nsfw (mdni), penetrative sex, teasing, somnophilia, petnames, established relationship, dom!character & sub!reader, full nelson (toji), prone bone (suguru), semi public sex (satoru), unprotected sex (don't do this), whiney satoru etc

❐ author's note ➩ I've been going feral for jjk men, and I find this trope so sexy. anyway, happy reading 'n hope y'all enjoy this <3

❐ summary ➩ your lover promises to only put in just the tip, but will he keep it?

≛ MINORS DNI OR I'LL KICK YO ASS ! ≛

๑ satoru ๑

"please baby− need ya s'bad," your boyfriend whined, rutting his hips into your clothed pussy. You two were on a mission, to defeat some special grade curses. "satoru− we can't! we're outside and on a mi−!" you couldn't even finish your sentence before he was sliding your panties to the side, stroking himself before lining up with your entrance. "please, just the tip− I promise, yeah?" he panted out, desperate to be inside you, staring at you with those ocean blue eyes as he waited for your permission. Once you reluctantly gave him the go-ahead, he slapped the tip of his cock against your clit before slowly pushing into you with a wet 'pop!' Your fingernails dug into his broad shoulders, strong arms propping you against the cold brick wall. "sh-shiit baby, fuuuck," he drawled, resting the urge to just slam into you without warning and fuck your brains out. But he couldn't− he promised he wouldn't.

All thoughts of resistance went out the drain when he looked at your face. Your pretty little face; mouth slightly agape as soft moans and hums escape your glossed lips, brows furrowed slightly as you looked up at him with those hazy eyes of yours. I mean, could you really blame him for slamming into you when you look at him like that? He could feel his eyes slightly roll back as your pussy engulfed him fully, loud and lewd squelching and skin against skin noises bounced off the walls of the alley. Your juices ran down your legs and his balls. God, he was insatiable when it came to you. "you− you said just the− mmh!− tip!" you babbled, hands reaching up to grip and tug at his white hair, some of it sticking to his sweaty forehead. "so sorry, pretty− this pussy's just too fuckin' goood−" he slurred, hips slamming into you as his lips smashed into yours for a messy kiss.

Really, you should've known this would happen.

๑ suguru ๑

His smiles slyly before nodding, knowing from the start that it won't take long before you crumble and beg him to fuck you silly. Snickering when you shyly ask him to put more of it in, impatient and needy for his throbbing cock inside you. He wouldn't admit it, but he's glad, he doesn't think he could stand another minute without fully plunging inside your gummy walls.

You could feel his bangs tickling your back as he presses soft kisses on the dip of your back, all the way to your shoulders before biting hard and slamming all the way into your awaiting cunt. He groaned as his hips were flush against your ass, pulling your head back by the roots of your hair before kissing you roughly. The headboard slammed against the wall with each harsh snap of his hips, abs clenching everytime a filthy noise escaped your parted lips as tears gathered on your lashes. his ravened hair cascaded down his muscular and scarred back, "thought you wanted− haah− just the tip, princess? can't even go by your own− mm yes fuck! juust like that−!" he groaned, rolling his hips against your ass with even more vigour, "can't even go by your own words, princess?" you could hear the grin in his voice, so damn smug, but you were in no position to complain, were you?

๑ toji ๑

you were peacefully reading a book, laying on your stomach− when your giant of a husband laid on top of you, his crotch right against your ass. "whatcha' readin', mama?" he questioned, breath low and gravelly against your ear. "jus' an erotic novel," you hummed, neck snapping to look at him when you felt him grinding shamelessly on your ass, "boooring, and whatcha' need erotic novels for? I'm right fuckin' here," he scoffed, making your eyes roll. "yeah okay, toji. only reading it for the male lead, he's like this god at sex−" you got cut off by your own gasp, as his large hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it lightly, "oh yeah? betcha' 20 bucks I could do better." You pouted, excitement already pooling in your panties, "but, I reaaaally wanna read this." Toji only rolled his eyes, "c'mon baby, y'know I'm more fun than a goddamn book?" "okay, fine... but only the tip, alright?"

Toji was not happy, only getting to feel your pussy clenching on his tip, god you were so stingy! He figures he could just fold you and fuck the living daylights out of you− wait, why isn't he doing that right now?

You could feel him in your throat from how deep he was, a small bulge forming on your lower tummy everytime he thrusted into you ruthlessly. He had you in a full nelson in front of the full view mirror you loved and decorated with your cute little stickers. Heavy breaths of 'atta girl' and 'so fuckin' tight f'me, mama,' slipped out of his scarred lips, your face heating up from the desire in his voice. A palm reached down to smack your pretty pussy, your eyes opening as your gaze landed on his face in the mirror. He was smirking triumphantly, strong arms holding you up with ease, "heh, guess ya owe me 20 bucks now, sweet girl."

๑ kento ๑

Your husband, Nanami questioned his morals when he found himself hiking your nightgown up your thighs in the middle of the night, moonlight seeping in through the opened window, illuminating your features with a gentle glow, and it made him fucking feral.

That's why he had your skimpy little gown bunched up at your waist right now, he already prepped you, eating your pussy out until you gushed in his mouth, he felt too guilty not to, even if you reassured him beforehand that it was okay. He only planned to put the tip in, not wanting to wake you up at 2 am just because he couldn't keep it in his pants− even if he knew that you didn't mind, you never did. But fuck, your walls were clenching and unclenching around him so deliciously and... the next thing he knew, he was ramming into your drooling pussy, jaw clenched as he muttered soft applogies. He buried his face into your neck when you woke with a yelp, moaning and sputtering as you try to process the situation. your pussy was practically drooling and sucking him in eagerly, back arching offt he bed as his thick fingers found your clit, giving it some attention to make you cum on his cock. He smelt like cologne, and still had his work clothes on− letting you know that he came home not too long ago. His cock was hitting your sweet spot with each snap of his hips, gooey cunt swallowing him whole as he let out the most guttural noises, "fuck− sorry for the rude awakening, dear− I couldn't help myself.."

©sachiyoh — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡

[prettyfastcars]

As sweet as blood-red jam | Mob!Lando

Summary: Lando could be many things given the nature of his job. Mean, commandeering, a control freak. But when he came home to you and the kids, he was the sweetest man you’d ever met. Your marriage to him was arranged of course, because that’s how things worked in the world you were both from. But love eventually grew between the two of you, and it did not stop growing. 

Themes: dad!Lando, fluff, smut, arranged marriage, domestic!mob!Lando, mild mommy/daddy kink (nicknames only), praise kink, housewife!reader, breeding kink

��They’re sleeping.” 

He announced cheerfully, shutting the door behind him as he walked into your library where you had been reading in silence for the past half an hour. 

You were a stay-at-home mom so the twins, your son and daughter, were under your care all day. And so Lando insisted that you get the evening off the moment he got home. He read to them and tucked them in for the night each night. It was part of his routine and he loved it. 

You placed your wine glass down and picked up the drink you made for him, handing it to him as he came over to sit down next to you on the large sofa. 

His eyes lit up at the sight of the well-deserved drink. “Oh you’re perfect, baby.” He kissed your forehead before getting comfortable next to you, sighing as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes for a brief moment. 

“They’ve been running around all day, they went to see the horses,” You said, thinking about how energetic your kids had been during the day, “I thought they would pass out after dinner but they wanted to wait for daddy.” 

Your husband smiled, looking a little tired as he took a sip of his drink. You caressed his cheek with a gentle hand as he turned to give you a soft look with those gorgeous eyes of his. 

He looked more relaxed and comfortable like this, wearing nothing but dark sweatpants. As opposed to the authoritative figure he is during the day in his expensive, dark suits. Him in casual clothing like this made you realise that he was in fact just a young man, barely 25, who shouldered a lot of weight alone. 

Responsibilities, expectations, risks, reputation, legacy, and now his own family. You’d come a long way, the two of you. Only a couple years ago you were just strangers being introduced at a gala. And now you were young parents. 

You still remember the night you met him for the first time. How gently he held your hand and danced with you. How your engagement was announced only a few months after and the wedding happened quicker than you thought. 

You always thought that you would forever be strangers living under the same roof. Especially given his reputation of being a workaholic which made him such an influential figure in his line of work. 

But Lando proved you wrong. He actually took the time to get to know you early on in your marriage, he cared, he listened. He was good to you. Then a year later, you had the twins and Lando had been perfect. Perfect partner, perfect dad. 

“What are you thinking about, mama?” He asked softly, his hand leisurely caressing your exposed thigh. That golden chain on his neck shining in the dimmed lights of the library. No shirt so you shamelessly ogled his defined abs and muscles. He let you, with a smirk on his handsome face. 

You put the book aside and leaned a little closer to him, cupping his rough chin in your hand. He’d been growing facial hair lately and you liked it. “You work too hard,” You said softly. 

He smiled, leaning into the warmth of your hand as he said, “Just wanna give you and the kids everything you want and need. You deserve it.” 

He had given you everything. Houses, cars, chauffeurs, chefs, private planes, private trainers, cards with no spending limits, vacations. You and the kids were well taken care of. 

You sighed, sliding over and ending up perfectly on his lap. Lando finished his drink, placed the glass aside and grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer. “But we have everything we could ever want or need.” You suggested, “Take a day off. Or two. I’m taking the kids shopping tomorrow, come spend the day with us.” 

Lando gave you a faint smile, “Can’t right now, baby. Some important shipments are about to come in. I can’t afford a day off until it gets here.” 

You rolled your eyes, making him chuckle and pull you closer. “But I barely see you.” You murmured. “The last time we had a date night was like, weeks ago.” 

Your face got really hot just thinking about it. Not just the date, but what happened after in the car on the way home… 

Lando smirked, surely also thinking about the same thing, grabbing you by the hips and gently moving you on his lap, rubbing you against his growing erection. You hissed in pleasure as he did. The soft, silky night dress you were wearing bunched up around your upper thighs, allowing you to feel everything. The shape of him, the warmth. 

“If you wanted a lovesick romeo who writes you love notes every morning then you shouldn’t have agreed to marry a man like me.” He taunted, teasing you and pinching your thigh. 

You reached out and grabbed his gold chain, tugging on it playfully, knowing how much he liked it when you did. “Unfortunately I like my men a little more corrupted,” You whispered, “Bonus points if they work all the time and don’t have time for me.” You sassed. 

Lando chuckled, leaning in to kiss along your jaw. “Aww, what is it?” He cooed, “You miss daddy? Hmm? Does mommy need some extra love from daddy tonight?” 

You nodded. 

“Come here, baby,” He pressed his mouth to yours as his hands caressed your inner thighs. He kissed you like he was starving, while your hands reached down in between your bodies and eagerly lowered his sweatpants to free his cock. 

You whimpered into the kiss, against his lips as you wrapped your hand around him, stroking his hard cock, making him groan into the kiss before he pulled away and said, “Daddy missed you too.” He murmured, looking down to watch how your hand touched him just how he liked it. “Fuck,” He sighed, “That feels good, baby…” 

His praise gave you enough confidence to stroke him harder, making him groan and moan. You loved the sounds he made. And you wanted to keep hearing those moans so you carefully lifted your lower body off his, pulled your underwear to the side and slowly lowered yourself down on his cock, earning louder moans out of his sinful mouth as you sank down on him. 

You were wet enough for his cock to slide in, but your body still resisted just a little bit, enough for him to have to thrust up the tiniest bit to fully fill you up. You cried out as he did. 

His soft lips parted just a little, and you couldn’t resist leaning in and sliding your tongue into his mouth. You whimpered against his lips, stroking the top of his mouth as you lifted up and sank back down on his cock, making him growl into the messy kiss. 

“That’s it, baby… fuck yourself on daddy’s cock…” Lando’s hands rubbed up and down your thighs again as he gently thrust his hips up each time, setting a pace that had you both moaning and wanting more of each other. 

Your fingers slid into his hair, scratching his scalp and down his neck as the tip of his cock reached sensitive places inside you. 

Lando chuckled when he felt you clench around him. “We’re not using protection again, mama…” He spoke against your open mouth, breathless as you were, “You’re gonna give me another kid, huh?” He sounded cocky as he said it, like it filled him with pride. “Gonna let me fill you up again till you walk around all nice and swollen with my baby in you, hmm?” 

You whined, feeling him stretch you out each time you moved up and down his cock. “Lando… please,” You gasped as his hand slipped between the two of you and found your clit, he rubbed it lazily. 

“Answer me,” He demanded, “You’re gonna carry another one for me?” His voice sent chills down your back. 

“Yes,” You whimpered, moving faster, impaling yourself down on his cock and whimpering shamelessly as you felt him filling you up completely each time, feeling him reach deeper into you with each thrust. Your lips brushed against his each time you moved up and down his cock, feeling him stretch you out as you stared into his ridiculously pretty eyes. You couldn’t help but speak the thoughts of your lust-drunk mind, “I want you to fill me up again,” You mumbled, feeling yourself getting high up there gradually. 

Lando laughed, also lust-drunk, “I can’t wait…” He said, “Can’t wait to come home and find you dripping wet for me.” His voice gave away that he was thinking back to how needy you were for him all throughout your previous pregnancy. 

You whimpered, thinking about it as well. Some evenings he’d come home and you dragged him to the bedroom immediately. Some days you even called him and asked him if he could come home for an hour or two. Lando happily agreed each time of course. 

“Remember how sensitive you’d get? How needy?” He teased, holding you close. “How you almost cried each time I made you come?” He smirked, male pride all over his face. “Some of the best months of my life those were.” 

You whined, “Please…” You stared into his pretty eyes. 

“Come for me.” He growled in that cold, menacing, erotic voice. “Come for daddy…” 

And you did. Whimpering, squirming and whining. You didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, and Lando kept thrusting his hips up into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out loud as you came hard, feeling your walls squeezing and clenching around him.

Lando came right after you, moaning and spilling inside of you, filling you up as you trembled and squirmed on his lap. You leaned forward, pushing your face into his neck to catch your breath while he held you against him, kissing the side of your face softly. 

“You okay, baby?” He asked after a few minutes of you two just cuddling there on the sofa. 

You nodded, “Mhmm, don’t wanna get up.” You murmured, sighing in bliss as you snuggled into his warm chest. 

He chuckled, “Okay.” He kissed the stop of your head. “I love you,” He whispered.

[reiderwriter]

She's a Silver Lining

Chapter Nine of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Spencer comes to terms with your abduction.

Warnings: ANGST, Suicidal ideation, kidnapping, mentions of fetal abduction and murder of pregnant women, descriptions of abuse, descriptions of prenatal care, typical case details. Spencer is depressed.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is a day late, I literally saw God this weekend (I saw Taemin perform live), and really, all that's been on my mind is how God is Good (Taemin is hot), and so I haven't been able to write anything as depressing as this chapter. I hope you enjoy (?) it anyway~♡

Masterlist || tags are currently broken, I'm sorry ♡

Eight days. It had been eight days since Spencer had last seen you. Eight days since he'd screwed up his one job so massively that he'd lost you. 

He'd lost people before. He'd lost people on cases. Victims, unsubs, bystanders, and family members who didn't stand a chance at recovering from their own loss. He'd lost Maeve, which was a little too similar to his current circumstances to think about too hard. He'd been losing his mother since he was born, and he'd really lost her again a few months ago. He'd lost Gideon. He'd lost Elle, too, before that. He'd lost Emily, and though she'd come back too, it wasn't the same. He'd lost Morgan, and then Hotch. He'd lost Alex Blake.

He'd lost nearly everyone in his life. Some of them had come back, most of them hadn't. 

He'd thought himself immune to the pain of losing someone at last. 

He'd certainly lost enough of himself in prison. 

It may have only been 84 days, but whatever was left in him of hope before was gone. He'd emerged completely empty. 

He supposed that's why he'd accepted the role at the university. There was nothing left for him to give to the BAU, but he couldn't be the one to leave. 

As it was, he'd already been unsettled enough by leaving you behind when he'd finished up his time there. 

It felt weird to him, saying goodbye. Not that he'd actually said goodbye. He'd kissed your forehead as he slipped out of your bed, sure, but you'd been neither conscious, nor fond of him in anyway. It was a parting gesture just for him  and he hadn't been quite sure why he'd done it. 

It was just a gesture and one he'd repeated multiple times after getting you back. You didn't know, of course. How could you? 

He'd either woken up before you and kissed your forehead, or climbed into bed beside you late at night and greeted you then. 

You'd lain side by side, drifting to sleep slowly, when he realized it had become a daily habit. 

He hadn't any idea of what he'd do when you left. 

And now you had. And it was his fault. 

In the eight days since you'd been kidnapped, Spencer had come to terms with a few facts.

He knew 64,956 women were currently declared missing in the United States. He knew that 77% of adults reported missing were found in 24 hours. You weren't. He knew 4% were found in 48 hours. You weren't. Only 3% were usually missing still after a week. 

You were somehow in that small minority, even though there was an entire team of FBI agents working around the clock to find you. 

He'd had faith in his coworkers before. Before, he'd begged for their help, and they'd succeeded in 24 hours, even if the outcome wasn't preferable. 

This time, he didn't beg. He had no faith. He just hoped to be present with a gun, loaded with two bullets, if this time went the way of the last. 

On the eighth day after your abduction, Spencer finally returned home.

The damage from your abduction was still apparent. 

Not that your captor had left many clues. In fact, they'd left none. Not even a fingerprint or a good angle on the CCTV. But he hadn't taken returning to an empty apartment well.

He slashed through the crime scene tape quickly, letting in hang in the doorway as he entered. The bookshelves he'd attacked were limping, leaning on each other for support after he'd ripped books off so violently he'd set them askew. 

He'd kicked and ripped and punched the wall so hard he'd needed stitches that he'd absolutely refused to get. 

He'd cried and sobbed into his bloodied and bruised hands until Emily had arrived, and then he'd cried some more, leaning on his friend, his sister, for her support. 

Returning now, there wasn't a single tear left.

In the hospital, they'd addressed his flesh wounds, but the emotional ones would never hear. 

You were gone. And now there was only a 3% chance he'd ever see you again. 

Emily hadn't allowed him to stick around to make their jobs harder. She's placed him on house arrest - funnily enough, her house, where you should've been if he wasn't such a selfish ass - and assigned a watch. 

She’d said it was for protection, but what she'd meant was it was to protect him from himself.

The rest of the team had avoided the topic entirely. They didn't know how to deal with whatever stage of grief he was going through. Many of them had comforted him the first time. They didn't know how to do it a second. They didn't know if they could. 

After eight days, Spencer had left Emily’s apartment. He'd dodged the Agent she'd stationed alongside him, got into a taxi, and gone home. 

Surveying the damage, he was surprised how deep the hurt had already cut to not feel much anymore. 

He looked at the books splayed on the floor. It was a title that you'd been reading that week. One he remembered you using at the office, one that had been on both of your courses reading lists. He picked each of them up and put them back on the shelf. He righted each shelf and organised them neatly, how he thought you'd like them. 

He picked pillows up and rearranged them. He vacuumed the debris from the floor, the thin layer of dust that had gathered since he'd left, the splinters pf bookcase that had crumbled off, the shards of wall that were speckled with his blood. 

He wept the entire time, though silent, until there were no tears left to cry. 

Then he'd come across a tiny package underneath his coffee table, a single corner of plastic peaking out, begging for attention. 

He'd picked it up and wept again as he found depths of sadness to reach further down than what he'd assumed to be rock bottom. 

Aa he lay in a pool of his own despair, a new, haunting fact crashed from his brain to his heart. Since 1987, there had been 21 foetal abductions in the USA. 19 of them had ended in homicide, with the mother dying. 

You made 22. 

In the two months since you'd been abducted, you'd learned three things. 

The first was that you absolutely loved Spencer Reid. You'd spent enough time sitting introspectively about everything in your life to realize you had to stop being so stubborn and admit just that. You'd been about there before all of this, but now you knew for sure. 

You should be cursing the man that inspired your horror show of a life, after all. But instead, you thought about him and held back tears. 

She gave you updates these days, testing your reactions to his name, waiting to see you crack, to see you cry, and sob and break down completely. 

Today, Spencer had been to see his mother, she said. He'd broken down in her arms and caused her to have an episode. She'd hit him so hard, his face had already been bruised by the time she saw him. 

The second thing you knew was that your baby was going to be born healthy. You had no plans of having a home birth, but now, at seven months pregnant, and large enough that you almost thought about doing your conception math again, you knew you were on track for giving birth in the room you'd been in for the last 58 days. 

You hadn't counted. 

She’d been good enough to tell you the date, the day, and her plans every morning when she visited you. She checked your vitals, your blood pressure, the position of the baby, your temperature, your heart rate, and recorded everything in her chart. She asked you how the pregnancy was going, almost as if she was the nurse she'd been training to be. 

Her bedside manner was so good some days. You forgot entirely that you were tied down to the bed, ankle clamped down. 

She let you walk for an hour a day, but recommended bedrest after that for health reasons. You didn't complain or talk back because she didn't like that. 

She let you read, and she was even curious about your reading, asking you questions and taking notes as if this were just part of her regular college schedule, an office hour that had taken over her life. 

You shuddered sometimes as she stared up at you with those big eyes, so wide, and young, and naive, and full of hatred, and evil, and you wanted to claw them out and scream for help, and stab her with the pencil she wrote notes with, and stab, and stab, and stab, and-

The third thing you knew was that you'd never hold your baby in your arms because you'd be dead moments after they breathed their first breath.

You knew, because she had told you as much everyday since you'd woken up. 

In two months, Spencer had become more manic and self-destructive than he'd ever been in his entire life. 

His world centred around you, and finding you, even as his 3% slipped to 1%, slipped to 0.1%, and he knew deep inside that he'd never see you again. 

He hadn't returned to the BAU but had instead turned his home into an investigation room, emptying the walls so he could pin up information, evidence, pictures of you, everything he could find. It wasn't that he'd regained hope, but he'd grown so desperate that he suddenly gripped hard onto the only slither of it that he had left and refused to drop it. He was a dog that didn't know the game of fetch only conti he'd if he dropped the ball. His life would not go on without you.

So he searched. He knew how far along you were. He knew how far along a woman had to be for a c section, professionally performed or not. 

He barricaded himself into his house and paced for days as his friends pounded down his door. He let none in. He didn't go out. He wasn't sure what he ate, or drank, or if he slept, but he knew he paced, and he thought, and he came up with theories. 

After two months, Emily was tired of knocking. 

“Spencer Reid, I am coming in,” she shouted from behind the door. 

He usually ignored her. She couldn't pass the bookshelves he'd moved in front of the door anyway, even if his superintendent had given her a key. 

This time though, he heard a banging, a creak and a crash as the bookshelves went down and Emily, who had left him and returned, made her way inside his apartment. 

“You barricaded the door?” she said, looking at him. 

He took a shaky breath and tried to answer as she surveyed his apartment, the mess of papers, books, string on the wall. He saw her stare down at the pile of sheets on the floor where he'd been sleeping, the bag of your things he had dragged to be closer to him. 

He saw her look at the baby shoes, and baby grows he'd laid out neatly on the floor, and he saw the pitying look she turned on him. 

“She's pregnant,” he finally said out loud, though you must've been 7 months along by then. “I'm going to be a father.”

“Spencer,” Emily said, grasping his hand, voice cracking from the strain of emotion that coated her tongue, making her voice thick. “You would've been an amazing father.” 

“No. No-” he said, breaking away and moving back to his wall. “No past tense, I won't let you… I won't let you give up on them.” 

“It's been two months.” 

“So she's only seven months pregnant. I have two more months to find her, Emily. Two more. At least allow me that.” 

The tears in his eyes streamed freely now as she nodded. 

“We will…. you know we'll help you. We'll do everything we can, so come to the office.” 

He didn't want to give up his space. His reminders of you, the baby grows, the information he'd gathered.

Equally, he didn't like Emily being in this space. She thought you were already dead, and he couldn't even look her in the eye. 

Reluctantly, he nodded, lifting himself up on legs weakened by insurmountable grief, and he followed her to Quantico. 

By the end of your third trimester, you wondered how you could ever have gotten so big. When you gave birth, the child inside of you would only be the size of a small pumpkin. You felt like you'd swallowed five regular size pumpkins whole, and you felt you were still expanding. 

The point worried her. She'd broken two glasses in tantrums this last week alone, measuring you every day. 

The closer you got to birth, the more agitated she grew. 

“This demon inside of you is going to kill you. I won't even have to do it myself,” she'd whispered to herself, or to you, as she took your vitals that morning. 

“Please don't say that.” 

“Why not? You're a whore, and you're going to give birth to a devil. You have seduced my soul mate, because you are a jezebel and the Lord is punishing you.” 

You'd needed all the strength you could get for these conversations. Even one tear, and she'd erupt and put a knife at your neck. With only a few weeks left, there was no saying whether she'd speed her plan along. 

“I did not seduce your soul mate,” you said as calmly as you could muster, taking deep breaths, hoping that she would mirror them and calm down. 

“Do we have to watch the fucking video again?” she spat at you, stomping around to the side of your bed and pulling out her phone. She queued up the video quickly and you averted your eyes. 

She turned them back quickly, holding your head in place as she forced you to watch your own office space. She showed you the videos of you and Spencer talking, teasing each other. She showed you the video of you insisting you were not attractive to him. She showed you the video of Spencer fucking you on the sofa, though she screamed and cut her fingernails into her skin the entire way through. 

She even showed you the video of her attempting to seduce Spencer during their office hour. It was the first video in her collection, the first time she'd set up the camera. She used your entrance as proof that you were breaking her apart from her soul mate. From Spencer. 

You were a whore who had thrown herself at him in anyway you could, and you had trapped him with a baby. 

She was going to free him from all responsibility so he could be with her. 

“My baby will be your devil,” she said as the video ended, and you forced your heart to settle. 

“It is not your baby.”

“Spencer won't know that. He doesn't know it's your baby either, and who are the authorities going to believe when I show up with his child. One paternity test later, and I'll have him, and we can be a happy family together, and we can live happily. I'll take in your devil  and raise it as my own, and we'll forget about the whore who almost ruined it all.”

The psychosis was so clearly written on her face, you were surprised no one had caught onto her state yet. She was devolving. She'd been calm, and contemplative the first week. She'd laid out her plans still, her insane plans, and seemed somewhat coherent. 

Then she'd began rambling about the devil and soul mates, and you'd pitied her, even in your fear. 

Now you were just glad she counted your office tryst as your conception date, and you'd never corrected her. 

She still believed there was a month left until your death. You knew it was days. 

You just prayed your baby could buy you some time.

“Professor?” she said as she carried away the tray of items she'd checked your vitals with

“Yes.” 

“You are not in love with Spencer Reid,” she said, as if trying to convince you. 

“No,” you said, trying to convince yourself  though it was hopeless. “I am not in love with Spencer Reid.”

The first lead in the case came on your due date. Patient confidentiality was, happily, overlooked by a few doctors when he pressed the issue, needing to know until when he was counting down. 

He'd done the rough math himself, but he needed a professional opinion. 

The lead came in the form of an email. The university was cleaning out your office to make way for a new professor, despite his insistence that you'd return, and they needed him to collect things. 

And though he knew you'd be giving birth that day, and he had run out of time, something compelled him to go and do this menial task on today of all days. 

Luke had joined him, and then so had JJ and Emily, and Penelope and Tara. Rossi had even arrived to watch you pile books into boxes that were supposed to have lived on these shelves for a long career. Everyone in the room was so busy watching him, waiting for him to crack, that it had to be him to find it. 

At first, he thought it was a hole in the couch. It was so dark and black, its curved corners giving the illusion of introversion. Then he'd touched it and felt the rough bump. 

“Penelope, here, now,” he breathed out, gasping for air as he finally pulled the tiny spy camera free and thrust it into his friends hands. 

He had a lead. He had you now. 

The first hour of labour was inconvenient only because you weren't alone. She'd been tending to you all morning, fussing over your food, trying to maintain the right amount of prenatal vitamins as she usually did, but she'd ran out of two bottles, and the pharmacy wasn't open. 

You sat still and uncomfortable, trying to not even flinch as your water broke, too afraid of death to be thinking about the life you were bringing into this world. 

The second hour ticked by much the same until she left. 

The third came, and you ceased your screams of pain, even as your hands bore holes into your sheets. She returned, and you knew there wasn't much longer until she knew. 

By hour four, she had your legs spread and was watching you deliver your baby, and you knew the same blade that would sever your umbilical cord would also end your life. 

By hour five, you were so delirious with pain that you thought you saw Spencer. You heard his voice cooing to you as you pushed. You felt his hands wipe away your sweat, smooth the hair from your eyes. You heard his voice announce your daughters birth, and you felt his lips against your skin as you finally gave up fighting and drifted into oblivion. 

[drdemonprince]

When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend

they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.

i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?

because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.

and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.

and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.

[not-neverland06]

haunted past

Mike Schmidt x fem!reader

a/n: WARNING: loose recollection of the movie bc I don’t have the energy to rewatch it lol. I’m not planning on following games/book lore bc I don’t have the time to rewatch the eight-hour YouTube video covering it all. So, forgive me if I take some creative liberty. (Dark subjects following the themes of the movie/games below the cut, including the murder of children)

Summary: You'd thought you'd left the past behind. You never thought you'd be back at this place. It's the source of your every waking nightmare and the worst day of your life. Freddy Fazbear's is the catalyst of where your life went wrong, but when Abby's life is on the line, you have no other choice. Can you survive another night at Freddy's? (Part of my Halloween Palooza)

The door creaks open, one eye peeking through the crack. Mike taps his foot impatiently. He glances briefly down at Abby. She’s practically giddy with excitement as she waits for you to open the door. He knows it's only because you’ll let her watch whatever she wants on TV and don’t enforce bedtime. 

He hates having to resort to bugging you about this. It’s not like he can pay you for all the times you’ve watched his sister. Relying on you for free labor isn’t exactly the best lead into asking you out—not that he thinks you’d actually give him a chance. 

“Christ,” you prop the door open, just barely wide enough for your frame to fit in. You’re not especially welcoming. “What do you want now?”

Abby breaks free from his hold. She shoves through you and rushes into your house. You scoff, turning slightly to watch her. Mike rubs the back of his neck and grimaces. “Don’t tell me,” you stop him before he even gets a chance to start. “You’re back for unpaid labor?”

Mike’s face screwed up, even if it’s true, it still stings to hear. “Look, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t-”

“Do this if you didn’t have to,” you finish for him. With a brief sigh, you close the door and step outside with him. You’re in some of the skimpiest shorts he’s ever seen and an inappropriately flattering tank top. He’s struggling, as he usually does, not to just bolt. 

He finds you hard to talk to. Not just because of his usual aversion to the general public, but simply because of how intimidating you are. Besides your already blunt personality, he’s rarely ever had a crush this intense before. It’s hard to stomach these feelings, especially when he knows there’s nothing to be done about it. 

“I’ve heard the spiel before, Mike.” His face screws up at the bluntness of your words. You’re normally like this but you seem especially annoyed tonight. You take a seat on the rocking chair on your tiny porch and nod towards the other one. He takes it as a win that you’re not just kicking him to the curb.

You’ve made this place a home more than he’s bothered to. You’ve got a few potted plants littered around the porch, chairs, and your little glass table with an ashtray he’s never even seen you use. You don’t seem like a plant kind of girl, but they're doing better than any he’s ever attempted to take care of. 

“What is it this time, anyway? And what happened to your other babysitter?”

He rolls his eyes at the mention of Max. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with her all day. She just left Abby home alone the other night.” Your eyes narrow with anger and you let out a loud huff. 

“What a bitch,” you mutter, tucking your legs into your chest. 

Mike shrugs and picks at the hem of his sweatshirt. He hates talking to you, he doesn’t know how to. He never knows if what he’s saying is irritating you or not, you’re so hard to read. He barely knows anything about you, yet you’re the closest thing to a friend he’s ever got. 

“I’ve got a new job-”

“You didn’t tell me that,” you interrupt, and you almost sound… hurt? He doesn’t want to read too much into it, but he still offers you a whispered apology anyway. 

“I’ve been pretty busy, all this shit with my aunt and rent,” he gestures vaguely to his house across from yours and lets out a tired sigh. His head falls into his hands and he scrubs his hands down his face. He hates burdening you with his problems. It’s not on you to be his on-call babysitter and therapist. 

You place a light hand on his arm and for a moment he thinks he might be dreaming. You lean forward, forcing him to meet your eye. “Rent? Look,” your face screws up awkwardly and you force the next words out, “I’ve got money.”

“No,” he immediately interrupts, jerking away from your touch as his face sets in anger. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a beggar. He’s not telling you this to get a handout. “No, I don’t want your money.”

You scoff and cross your arms, glaring at him. “I’m not offering it freely. Consider it a loan, alright?” He opens his mouth and you cut him off with a pissed-off look. “Just shut up and wait here.” You get up, slipping back inside your home. He hears you through the open window as you greet Abby. 

“How’s school?” You ask, rummaging through something. 

“I don’t know, fine,” she answers vaguely. 

He can hear you scoff in amusement, “Yeah, I hated school too.”

“Mac and cheese later?”

The door opens and you call a, “Sure, kid,” over your shoulder. It’s another reason he likes bringing Abby over to your place. You seem to be the only person she’s willing to give more than two words to. Besides, you can actually get her to eat somehow. 

You approach him with a slip of paper in your hand. You shove it into his unwilling hands and he lets out a rough sigh when he sees it’s a check. “Don’t argue,” you snap, sitting back in your chair and refusing to make eye contact with him. “You’ll pay me back.”

He says your name and you shake your head, clearly uncomfortable. “Forget it, just tell me about the new job.”

He scratches the back of his head, debating whether or not he should thank you for the help. It’s not a lot, he knows you’ve got about as much to spare as he does, and he’ll still need to finish this job. However, it is enough to put some food on the table without worrying about every penny. 

Still, you look incredibly disturbed by your own generosity, so he pockets the check and figures he’ll think of a different way to thank you. “It’s a security gig.”

“Really?” You smirk and turn towards him. “Someone hired you after what happened at the mall?” You give him a disbelieving look and he can feel the way his face heats up in embarrassment. 

“Yeah, well it’s pretty creepy. It’s at the old abandoned pizza place. Freddy Fazbear’s.”

Any amusement on your face is drained and you give him a horror-struck look. “What’d you say?” You whisper, voice stricken by something he can’t decipher. For a moment, he doesn’t even want to answer you. 

You’re completely unrecognizable, the usual stoicism he faces is replaced with absolute terror. “Um,” his brows scrunch in confusion and he clears his throat awkwardly, “Freddy Fazbear’s.”

Abruptly, you jump up from your seat and rush away from him. He watches as you run back to the door, his confusion only rising. He calls out your name but you just shake your head. “I gotta head inside, watch the kid.” It’s a rushed excuse and one he sees right through. “You should go.”

He doesn’t get a chance to question you as you slam the door closed. He gets up, but the lock clicks, and the window slams shut. Mike stands in front of your house, absolutely shocked by what just happened. He’s too confused to be concerned, wondering how what he just told you could have elicited that reaction. 

With a low exhale he turns on his heel and walks back to his car. He throws one last glance over his shoulder at your house, but you’ve clicked off the porch light, completely blocking him out. 

He shakes his head in astonishment, getting in the car and driving off to the pizza place. What the hell was wrong with you?

You’re glad Abby is in the bathroom as you catch your breath. Your back is plastered to your door, chest heaving as you fight off the oncoming panic attack. The last thing you need right now is her pestering you about what’s wrong. 

You clench your eyes shut, but when you do all you see is a golden back and the sharp glint of a knife. Your hand drifts towards your abdomen, subconsciously lingering over the scar. Your eyes shoot open and you shake your head, trying to force the memories of the night away. 

You haven’t heard that name in years, haven’t thought of it. You’d thought you’d gotten rid of it entirely. You should have known better, it was always going to haunt you. If you were less of a coward you would have moved away years ago and let the past be buried entirely. But you just couldn’t fully let him go, could you? 

The sink runs and the door is thrown open as Abby comes back to the living room. You force yourself away from the door and offer her a tense smile. Her eyes narrow in suspicion and it’s the first time you’ve despised how clever she is. 

“What’re you drawing?” You rush the words out, voice tight and panicked. You just need to distract yourself. You need to think about anything but that damn place. 

Her suspicion gives way to her typical eagerness to shove her sketches in your face. You don’t know much about kids, but you know she’s not what people consider normal. Not that you mind. However, you’ve never been a big fan of children in general, they bring about bad memories for you. Watching Abby so regularly was happenstance when you greeted Mike as they moved in. 

You’d never been the type to have freshly baked cookies and a welcome wagon for everyone in the neighborhood. For the most part, you all pretty much steered clear of each other. But Mike was cute and you felt like flirting for a little bit. 

You hadn’t expected him to be quite so awkward, or for there to be a kid. In a desperate attempt to end the conversation and escape how stilted the whole thing was, you offered help if he ever needed it. And he needed a lot. 

Now, your weekends have turned from one-night stands and hanging out with people you barely consider friends, to watching cartoons with a kid. You don’t mind it, but you’d prefer it if her brother were there to join you both. His stunted personality has a certain charm you find yourself drawn to. 

“Here,” Abby takes a seat on the floor and you join her. You tap your fingers against your thigh, trying to soothe your heartbeat back to a normal rate. Your mind is racing in a million different directions as you take the picture from her. 

It doesn’t help, if anything, you feel even worse. Bile and terror make for a bad combination as you stare down at her crudely drawn “friend.”

“That’s Freddy,” she tells you. “Chica, and Bonnie,” she’s all smiles as she points to the different caricatures. All you can do is nod, eyes peeled on the blue bunny. 

“You’ve been with Mike to the new job, huh?” Your voice is airy as you flip the paper over and shove it away. Abby frowns, snatching it back from you and smoothing out the wrinkles your grip left behind. 

“No. These are my friends.” 

Terror makes way for concern as you slowly turn towards her. “What?” You ask quietly, not wanting to believe what you’re hearing.

“They’re my friends,” she repeats slowly, giving you a disbelieving look. She turns away from you, huffing and picking up her crayons again. You scramble to your feet, rushing to get away from her. You grab your phone book and run to the landline. You go over the F’s a million times, but you can’t find Fazbear’s number anywhere. 

The entire night is turned into one long, agonizing wait for Mike to return home. You find yourself unable to eat or sleep. You move like you’re walking through a fog. Make Abby dinner, wait for her to pass out, and put her to bed. Then you sit and stare at the blank screen of the TV, just waiting for a knock on your door. 

At 5:30, you finally hear it. You shoot off the couch, rushing towards the door and throwing it open. You know you must look insane, eyes wide and face drained of blood as you drag Mike inside. 

He stumbles from your grip, giving you an affronted look as you slam the door closed behind him. He glances over his shoulder, making sure Abby isn’t woken up by the noise. “You need to quit!” You shove the words out in one rushed jumble. 

His brows furrow and he shakes his head, not quite understanding you. “What?” He asks, scoffing and looking away from you. He glances towards the messy couch and then back at you. “Have you been awake the whole night?”

“Mike,” you grab him by the shoulders, squeezing until he winces from your touch. “I need you to fucking listen to me, you cannot go back. You can’t go back.”

He places his hands over yours, threading his fingers through yours and trying to ease your grip off of him. Neither of you pays attention to the fact that he doesn’t let go. “What are you talking about? I can’t just quit.”

“Mike,” your voice carries a desperation you rarely let yourself show. You know that it’s difficult for people to read you. You’re aloof on purpose, anything to keep people away. But right now, you need him to recognize how vulnerable you’re being. You need him to see the fear and panic on your face and just fucking listen to you. 

“You need to leave that place behind and not look back, okay?”

He takes a step back from you and you know you’ve gone too far. You should have played it cool and approached the subject like a normal person would. But there’s nothing normal about Freddy Fazbear’s and you need him to know that. 

Instead, all you’ve done is properly terrify him away from you. He releases your hands like they’re hot irons and stumbles a few steps away from you. He has a placating smile on his face as he nods his head shallowly. “Alright, sure,” he mutters, not meaning a word of what he says. “I’m gonna get Abby. Need to get her to school soon.”

He rushes down the hall and you let yourself fall into your kitchen chair. Your head drops into your hands and a hollow pit of despair opens up inside you. You did this all wrong. You always do. Every time you try and help someone it turns back around on you. No one believed you the first time, why would they now?

You hear him walk past you, Abby’s grumpy voice demanding to know why she can’t stay longer. “Now,” he snaps, opening the door and pushing her out. It closes and you finally lift your head, expecting them both to be gone. 

Instead, Mike lingers by the door, he has a concerned look on his face as he approaches you. He kneels and opens his mouth with a low huff of breath, “Look,” his hands hover over yours like he wants to hold them. You tuck them away before he can, not willing to make eye contact with him. He shakes his head, stopping himself from whatever he was going to say. 

He stands back up, glancing down at you with a frown. “Just try and get some sleep.”

That’s rich coming from him, but you don’t bother saying anything. You only nod your head, willing him to just get the hell out of your house and take his sister with him. You tried, you can’t say that you didn’t. 

The door slams closed and you flinch at the noise, a flash of blue darting across your vision. You know it’s not real, it’s just a product of your lack of sleep. You can’t help searching for a pair of blue bunny ears, though. 

Dread sinks deep in your gut as you think of losing the closest thing to a friend you’ve had in years. Preemptive grief weighs heavy on you as you get up and throw yourself onto your couch. You imagine the pain of losing Mike and let it be what lulls you into a restless sleep. 

As insane as you were behaving yesterday, Mike still has little choice but to ask you to babysit once more. He hesitates, something is clearly going on with you. He’s never witnessed anything beyond vague disinterest in your interactions. 

How you acted yesterday would be out of character for anyone, but coming from you, he’s worried that there might be something seriously wrong with you. He doesn’t need to burden you further with his sister, but he needs this job. He’s backed between a rock and a hard place. 

He decides to come over without Abby, just to try and gauge how stressed you might be. Your porch light is on as he approaches the house, but he doesn’t see your car anywhere. He’s hoping it’s parked down the street. 

He didn’t give you much notice that he was coming over, but you rarely leave the house. When he first moved in, you were gone every night and there was a new car besides yours every other week. 

Nowadays though, you seem content to be a homebody most of the time. He’s about to knock on your door when he notices something pink shoved under the ashtray on your table. He frowns, his confusion only deepens when he sees his name scrawled in your unusually messy handwriting. 

He unfolds the paper, eyes roving over the words in disbelief. 

Mike, 

In case you need my unpaid services again, call someone else. I’ve got a date tonight that I’m not gonna reschedule to deal with a kid that isn’t even mine. Maybe you’re right, you really should just give her up to her aunt. God knows you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re a bad friend, but you’re a worse brother. Stop dragging me into your mess and just sort your life out. 

The further he reads, the more angry he gets. The paper is crumpled under his tight grip and he cusses as he tosses it into your rosebush. He doesn’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with it tonight. 

As angry as he is, that you could throw something like that in his face, he still can’t help but worry about you. There’s something very wrong with you, lately. But it’s not his problem to solve, you’ve made that abundantly clear. 

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers, gnawing on your lip as your eyes dart out the window of your beat-up car. The longer you sit in this parking lot, the more guilt you feel. You know you wrote what you did for the best, but it doesn’t ease the sting of regret. 

You wrote some nasty shit to Mike, throwing his deepest insecurities back at him like it meant nothing. But you needed to make sure he didn’t come looking for you. You needed insurance that after all this he wouldn’t want anything to do with you. 

Freddy Fazbear’s dilapidated sign looms over you and you could almost cry looking up at it. You’ve run from this moment for so long. You’ve kept your back stubbornly to the past and refused to look. 

Surging memories have been buried in alcohol and sex. Remembrances of the past have been erased. You cut off your family, friends, and anyone who knew what happened to you. Yet, you couldn’t leave this town. You could never leave him behind, not when you know he’s still in there. 

The taste of bile has laid thick on your tongue since last night. You haven’t had a moment of true rest since hearing that name again, since seeing Abby’s picture. Never, have you labeled yourself as selfless or a hero. The whole reason you’re in this mess is because you’re a coward, through and through. 

Now, in an ironic twist of fate, you sit in the parking lot of your childhood and you wait to sacrifice yourself to some higher entity so Abby might have a chance of surviving. You know that what you’re hoping to accomplish tonight is a pipe dream, that you’re more likely going to die than you are to achieve anything fruitful. But you’re never going to be able to live with yourself if something happens to Mike and Abby and you don’t do anything. 

You can’t have someone else's blood on your hands again. You left Jeremy behind. You’re not going to do the same to them. You check the clock on your radio and suck in a deep breath. Adrenaline rushes through you as the sun slowly sets behind the pizza place. 

Your blood is tingling with the anticipation of being spilled. There’s a phantom twinge of pain from the scar on your stomach. You wince through it, turning off the car and throwing the door open. You’re praying that you’ve left Mike without a babysitter and he won’t show up to his shift tonight. 

You round the back of the pizzeria, frowning at the chain on the handle of the door. You brought bolt cutters for a reason, but you were hoping you might be granted a silent entrance. You cut through the chains and they clatter to the pavement, the noise echoes through the quickly darkening sky. 

You roll your eyes, pushing the rusted door open and slipping inside. So much for the element of surprise. The hinges creak behind you and you whirl around, grasping for the handle. The door slams shut with a loud slam before you can stop it. 

You shrink into yourself, glancing over your shoulder, already expecting someone to be standing at the other end of the hall. Instead, it remains empty. You don’t know if that's better or worse than what you were expecting. 

You pull your flashlight out of your back pocket, shine it down the hall, and step silently over the tipped-over filing cabinets. The place is nothing like you remember it. Gone are the bright neon lights and the sound of children’s laughter. 

Instead, it’s replaced by cobwebs, flickering lights, and a haunting silence that has chills rising along your arms. You keep one hand along the wall, ignoring the way dust seeps into the cracks of your palms. Your light darts between the ground and the cavernous dark before you. 

There’s a suspicious shadow at the end of this hall that you don’t trust. It’s too dark, and you swear you feel eyes following you. But you can’t tell which direction they’re coming from. Something loud cranks at the end of the hall, the sound of gears grinding together stops you where you are. 

You freeze, breath coming in short bursts of air as you slowly tilt the light towards the shadow. Before you can see what it is, a shrill, childish scream rips through the air. “Abby!” You shout, rushing towards the noise, ignoring the noises following quickly behind you. You burst through the door at the other end of the hall and freeze when you see Mike fighting off the cupcake. 

You rush towards him, slamming the bolt cutters through the faux frosting before it rips his fucking arm off. He stares up at you in shock, he’s already covered in blood and bandages and you can’t even begin to wonder what happened to him. 

He mutters your name in disbelief and you stumble back from him, letting the bolt cutters and animatronic drop to the ground. “Mike, what the hell are you doing here?”

He jumps to his feet, speaking to you with an accusatory tone, “What are you doing here? I thought you had a date,” you don’t miss the jealousy in his tone and you scoff. 

“You almost had your arm gnawed off by an animatronic, do you really think this is the time for that?”

He opens his mouth, to argue or concede you’re not sure, and another scream rips through you both. You turn towards the side door and your face screws up in fear. “Tell me I’m wrong, tell me that’s not Abby.”

His answer is shoving past you, shouting his sister’s name. You follow after him, barreling through another door and stumbling back as you watch the scene before you. Foxy paces across the room, dragging his hook along the old arcade games. 

Mike dives to the right, ducking behind a booth. You see his head begin to tilt towards you and you rush towards the stage, hiding behind it while you look around for Abby. You can’t see her anywhere and you don’t know if you should be relieved or throwing up. 

Something loud clanks above you and the walls of the stage tremor under your hands. You clamp your lips together, swallowing down a whimper as you slink further down the stage. The wood vibrates again and you can’t help the slight gasp you let out. 

Something clamps down on your shoulder, fuzzy and blue. You feel the metal pushing against the plush of the suit and he squeezes until you hear your shoulder cracking. There’s nothing that can stop the scream from ripping out of you as your bone shatters under his grip. Mike turns just as you're dragged onto the stage. 

You’ve only got one arm you can feel now. The other drags along the wood, longer than it should be. You can’t even feel the pain, your blood is pumping so hard you’re blind to it. You lash out at the hand holding you, groping for wires and pulling the second you feel them. 

It makes his grip loosen just enough for you to wiggle away from him. You’ve got oil coating your hand, blood drips down your arm. You can’t look, you know if you do, you’ll see your bones poking through your skin. If you look, you’ll pass out and there’s no telling what they’ll do to you then. 

His eyes narrow in on you and you scramble weakly on your one good arm. Freddy’s disappeared, and you don’t know where to. You can only look on in horror as Bonnie stalks towards you. Dying at the hands of the friend you’d left behind. It seems poetic, in a way. But you know this isn’t him. This is what that bastard has twisted him into. 

His good hand reaches out towards you and you do the only thing you can think of. “Jeremy!” He pauses, the orange light illuminating his plastic eyes flickering out only for a second. For a brief moment, you can see the frightened child within him once more. 

Then, something latches onto the back of your hair and slams your head down until the world goes dark. 

You glance around the pizzaplex, smiling as Jeremy blows out his candles. His parents hover behind him, bickering silently between each other. Jeremy looks at them, his big smile fading when he sees them fighting again. 

“Hey,” you grab his arm as the other kids dart greedily towards the cake. “Wanna play hide and seek again?” He looks at his cake, but he’s never had a sweet tooth. You know he just wants to keep playing, his parents practically had to drag him away from the stage for this. Only to be too busy fighting to wish him an actual happy birthday.

Jeremy nods eagerly, jumping off the bench and following after you. You laugh, darting underneath the balloon arch Mr. Afton had brought out for him. 

You and Jeremy come here every weekend, you’re practically best friends with his daughter Vanessa. She’s kind of weird, but you don’t hold it against her. Besides, being nice means Mr. Afton gives you both free pizza. 

The only reason Jeremy’s parents could afford to rent this place for his birthday was because Mr. Afton had offered them a big discount. You dart past the stage and hover at the edge of the ball pit. “One-two-three, not it!” You press your finger to your nose, laughing as Jeremy is just a second too late. “You’re looking first,” you command, shoving him slightly away from you. 

“Come on,” he whines, “it’s my birthday.”

“No cheating,” you tell him, practically stomping your foot. The big 8 on the paper crown he wears goes ignored as you point towards the booth behind you both. He lets out a loud sigh, stomping his way towards it and turning his back to you. He starts counting, loudly and skipping a few numbers. 

You narrow your eyes at his back but don’t hold it against him. Someone hisses behind you and you frown, turning to see Vanessa peeking out from behind a curtain on the stage. She gives you a weak smile, waving you forward. 

You look to your parents but they’re not paying attention as they talk to the other adults. You clamber on stage beside her, smiling up at Freddy and Bonnie. She grabs your wrist, not saying anything as she takes you to the back. 

“Vanessa?” You whisper, growing a little scared at the darkness of the room. It’s a stark contrast to the bright lights outside. 

“Shh,” she instructs, holding a finger to her lips and smiling. “Just wait here, okay? My dad says he’s got a surprise for you.” You watch as she leaves the room, you hear the lock click as the door closes and jump in surprise. 

“Vanessa?” You call out again, hoping this is just a stupid prank and she’s coming back. Loud, clambering footsteps ring through the hall outside the front door of the room and you gasp. You look around for a hiding spot, something sick twisting in your stomach. You know Vanessa said it’s all a surprise, but you’re scared. 

There’s nothing but empty animatronics around you. Mr. Afton told you to stay away from them, that the springlocks could hurt you. But you have nowhere else to go. You pop open the stomach of Sparky and curl yourself inside her, your eyes just barely looking through the top. 

“This way, birthday boy,” Mr. Afton’s voice croons outside. He opens the door, motioning Jeremy inside and you can almost see his smile through the golden bunny suit he wears. You’re starting to feel a little silly. Mr. Afton’s always been nice to you, why are you so afraid all of a sudden?

Jeremy walks in, a bright smile on his face as he looks around the repair room. He stops in front of a run-down Bonnie and looks back at Mr. Afton. He’s in your blind spot, covered by a shelving unit. You can’t see what he’s doing, but you see the way Jeremy’s face drops. 

“Mr. Afton-”

A golden hand shoves Jeremy’s face back. His brown eyes widen in surprise, the whites of them the only thing you can see. You can hear his muffled scream against Mr. Afton's paw.

Mr. Afton shoves Jeremy back, pressing him against Bonnie. Something silver flashes under the dim lights and you peek your head up. You watch as Mr. Afton runs a knife through Jeremy’s stomach and he shoves him into Bonnie's open chest. You clamp your hand over your mouth, dropping back down into Sparky. 

Your knee knocks into one of the metal springlocks and you have to fight everything in you not to surge forward as it digs through your intestines. You squeeze your hand over your nose and lips until you feel like you can’t breathe so you don’t scream. 

Blazing hot pain shoots through your stomach and legs, blood pools thickly down your dress and you can feel tears building along your waterline. Mr. Afton looks around the room, he rips the bunny head off and frowns. A vein bulges in his forehead as he calls out your name. 

He wipes the knife off and hides it behind his back. He places Bonnie’s head over Jeremy, “Vanessa?”

A moment later the door creaks open and a sheepish Vanessa pokes her head inside. She looks around the room, frowning when she doesn’t see either of her friends. “Where is she?” Mr. Afton demands. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I left her in here.” Her eyes narrow and she looks close to tears. “What was the surprise, Daddy?”

Mr. Afton lets out an irritated sigh and waves his non-blooded paw. “Forget that, we need to get back outside.” He rushes towards her, dragging the bunny head behind him, and shoves her back through the door. 

The second he’s gone, you’re openly sobbing. Hot tears pour down your cheeks as putrid bile shoves against the walls of your throat. You push Sparky’s stomach open and gasp when you see the large hole in your stomach. 

The other springlocks twitch threateningly as you tug at the one buried inside you. You take in a deep breath and rip it out, forcing yourself to leap away just as the others close. Your blood is dragged along the concrete as you crawl towards Bonnie. 

“Jeremy?” You call out, head swimming so much you can’t even feel pain anymore. Your fingers are cold as you dig fruitlessly at Bonnie’s stomach. You tug and tug, falling back as the panel swings open. 

You can’t see Jeremy’s head, you only see the springlocks digging into his small body. “Jeremy!” You scream, you scream so loud, Mr. Afton can’t even stop the parents from finding you before he does. 

You pass out from blood loss before they reach you. In that time he manages to paint you as two misbehaving children. You snuck backstage and messed with animatronics you had no business being around. He said you both must have tried to wear the old suits and there was no way of proving him wrong. 

So much damage was done to Jeremy’s body, that they wouldn’t be able to find a knife wound even if they knew to look for one. No one would believe you when you told them he killed him. They just thought you were trying to avoid getting in trouble. 

Mr. Afton only managed to keep the pizzeria open for a few more years. But you never went back. You couldn’t. You never forgave him and you never forgot your friend. 

The smell of cleaning products and the familiarity of a sterile hospital room greet you as you wake up. Your vision is slow to come back. Eyes foggy and blinded by the bright lights of the room you’re in. 

Your fingers twitch at your side and you’re relieved to find your arm still works, even after it was practically shattered by a haunted puppet. You groan, squeezing your eyes shut and forcing them to focus. A messy head of brown hair lays at your side. 

Mike is draped across the hospital bed, completely passed out. You find yourself smiling slightly at the sight. You slowly bring yourself into a sitting position and poke at him. “Mike,” you whisper, voice hoarse from lack of use. 

There’s a throbbing in your head that pulses along your optic nerve. Your face screws up as you reach towards the bandages wrapped around your temple. You’re honestly just happy to even be alive. You can deal with migraines for a few weeks. 

He jolts up, slightly disoriented as he stares at you. You offer him a weak smile and he lets out a sigh of relief. “You’re awake.”

“Apparently,” you mutter. You glance around him, a frown forming on your face. 

“She’s getting some snacks,” he tells you before you can even ask. “Abby’s fine.”

You let out a breath of relief, sinking back into the pillows. Maybe it wasn’t all for nothing, then. “You knew them,” he says. “Or, the bunny, at least.”

You nod your head weakly, any energy you had has been sapped out of you from the relief that both Mike and Abby are okay. “Yeah, I used to.”

“Are you going to tell me how you knew them?”

You take his hand in your own, surprising the both of you. “Some other time, alright? I think I want a date first before we start trading childhood trauma.”

He stutters and stumbles over his words, brows furrowing as he gives you a disbelieving look. “Did you just ask me out? While you’re still concussed?”

“Are you saying no?”

He opens his mouth but quickly closes it. He lets out a low chuckle and shakes his head. “You’re impossible.”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Abby comes rushing back into the room before either of you can say anything else. She smiles at you when she sees you’re awake. She jumps onto the bed, uncaring of the way her knees dig into your legs. 

“Careful, Abs,” Mike scolds. You wave him off and he rolls his eyes. 

“I made you something,” Abby tells you. She hands you a picture and you let out a sharp breath. 

It’s you and Jeremy. Granted, crayon versions of the two of you. But it’s him all the same, as the boy you knew, no longer the monster he was turned into. You feel tears building in your eyes as you tug Abby into a fierce hug. “Thank you,” you whisper, holding the drawing close to your heart. 

You’d like to pretend that you’ve gotten closure from all of this. Jeremy’s been put to rest and you can move on with your life now. Now, you can have a family again, have friends again. But that would be a lie.

You still feel him, as you always have. He’s a shadow clinging to your back, a haunted past you’ll never be able to let go of. He always comes back. 

end. — I do not own the characters or the games/movie Five Nights at Freddy's (FNAF), but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[kivedreams]

I WANT YOU. part. I knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. f. is latina poc.

genre. falling in love, established relationship, romance, marriage

warnings. +18 racism and colorism discussed [this part does not contain smut, but the story is not made for a minor audience] this super delulu coded [pls tell me if i missed anything ]

synopsis; you make my life shine, and I think I also make yours shine or you didn't know how hard a relationship with a famous person would be

word count: 4.7k

A/N: i let my delusions run free with this one, i think ill be four parts.

next part.

Just a the moment you thought the party was dying down they arrived, is not like you hated the idea of having a party, but this week has been hard on you, nothing went exactly as you planned, having your thesis send back two times in a row, draw you down, that thesis was the last thing between you and your PhD, you knew it was going to be hard, but God it really was testing you, of course you were happy for Namjoon today was a big day for him, he was finally releasing the book that he always wanted to publish a full guide on The Joseon era art and its influence in today's korean artwork, Namjoon was really proud of korean artists, so being able to pay homage to them was a big thing for him and for you, because Namjoon happiness was part of your own. 

The tight red dress that you were wearing might have been a bit too much, but it was Namjoon’s gift. It might have been tighter because you had put on some weight due to the stress of these months. Going to the gym or doing any type of exercise was the last thing on your mind. You would have been lying if you did not admit that, it was one of the things that were making you feel insecure tonight, your relationship was already hard, nobody believed that Namjoon the first born child of a korean family, the leader of the most successful kpop group and now Namjoon the writer would settle for you, a latin woman of color, that did not appeal to a single one of the korean standards, you weren't insecure by Namjoon’s feelings, but you were insecure on how everyone else feelings and prejudices might influence his decisions, is not like you were desperate for the ring, you really didn't need it, nor were you prepared for marriage, but sometimes it feel like the only thing that could silenced all the voices in your head, all the social media talk, and of course everyone around you. 

“Y/N?” He called for you. You were still in the balcony of the apartment, seated in the light brown handmade chair you purchased for the space, with a glass of wine enjoying the Seoul night, a slight breeze, and of course the beauty of the balcony Namjoon and you have crafted together, a lot of plants were everywhere accompanied by artworks and souvenirs that you both had collected through the years, some on your travels together, some alone.

“Yes, darling” you responded looking at him, Namjoon was an extremely handsome man, you loved that haircut in him, and his choice of clothing today was a masterpiece, that beige suit with a purple turtle neck top was a perfect mix. He looked at you with confusion in his eyes, he quickly brushed that look a way and sais,

“My parents are here, they're asking for you” Are they? was the only thing in your mind

You walked to him with a smile taking his hand, to greet them and most of the guest that have arrived since you little rendezvous to the balcony, you were begging that nobody would notice your weight, your thighs were clearly giving a show in that dress, god I hope the concealer is strong enough to cover the sleep bags in my eyes, do I still have lipstick on?

“Y/N!” His father greeted you “You look so beautiful tonight! How is your thesis going? Are you close to the finish line?” His father always looked happy to see you, but was he?

“Mr. Kim! Thank you! And yes I'm close to the finish line, if everything goes as planned, I will be able to present it in a few weeks” You responded with a smile giving him a hug and doing the same with his mother. She always looked at you, at your hair with curiosity?  Of course 4B coils were not the norm in Korea, but Korean beauty standards weren't going to pressure you into hating your beautiful hair.

After polite talks and greetings for a whole night with people that were close to both of you, in professional and personal level, the night was over, Namjoon and you finished saying good bye to the last guest and his agent, the night was a success, as you knew it would be, Namjoon never fails to amaze you, you saw him the whole night , moving around and enchanting everyone, you get it, you too were enchanted by him.

Finally being able to get rid of the uncomfortable shoes and the red lace around your waist that made the dress even tighter and letting Namjoon in the living room talking with the service that was in charge of getting everything clean up and tidy again, walking straight to your room, dreaming of the comfort of your bed, you forgot all the things that were placed on top of it, because you didn't trust any of the frail art pieces to be in the open while everybody drank and mingle, with not other option, you moved to the balcony, walking down to the kitchen first taking a glass of wine with you and politely smiling to the service, Namjoon was out of your sight.

Sitting on the cold floor of the balcony letting your hair free from the detailed bun that it was made into, enjoying the silence and peace of the night. You felt empty, maybe too much stress plus the insecurities in your relationship were passing you the bills, in a few months you would be 30, and if you get your PhD granted, working as a full time curator in the national art museum of Seoul, just what you wanted, but was Namjoon on your side for it? you didn't know.

“Babe” He called, putting a blanket on top of you, you did not realize how cold you were until he did so “ Tired? they are almost finishing, our room is ready, lets go” 

You looked at him from the floor with your face resting on the wooden bench, giving him a little nod, but your body was not responding to the idea of standing up, maybe you were too tired, maybe it was that third glass of wine, reminding you that alcohol was not your forte.

“Too tired? “ He said lifting you up, you hugged him, getting flooded by his strong musky scent.

Before you could realize it you were already on the bedroom, headlight turn off, the only light in the room coming from the bed stands, Namjoon sat you on the edge of the bed looking at you with curious eyes, his hands on you waist, you could feel his breathing, warmth, “Can we talk in the morning?” you ask, with almost no energy to spare.

“Is everything ok?” he asked back, now with a worried look on his face.

“Yes, I am exhausted, let's talk tomorrow please” you said standing up making your way to the bathroom, trying to unzip the dress off and failing. 

“Ok” He said, hugging you from the back, there it was again his scent, it made you feel so calm, at peace.

He started to remove the dress from you, leaving you there exposed to his eyes, and to yours. You could see the reflection in the mirror, how he was hugging you even harder, tighter, Namjoon loved you, you knew that.  He started to remove his own clothes, making you move the other side of the sink to remove your makeup.

You heard the water running in the tub, namjoon got close to you naked, “Want to take a bath?” 

“No, I’ll take a quick shower and go to bed”

“Ok darling “ He said, kissing your neck. Making you move.

He flicked due to the inspected action “I'm not in the mood to have sex” You said, before he could say anything.

“Is ok, I just want to feel you…” he said with a hurt look, you took a step back using the shower as an excuse. Namjoon was even more confused, because you never rejected physical touch, so it felt as if you were rejecting him, but you weren’t, you just wanted to reject the feeling that you had for him, because it felt like you had everything to lose.

It was around 2AM when you two were in bed together, Namjoon pulled you close, and you couldn't say no, you couldn't do that to him again. Nighttime passed through your eyes seeing the sun rise that sunday morning, you weren't able to sleep just thinking about all the possibilities, weighing your options, you could finish your phd and go back to your country, even though it was useless, jobs for a art history doctor, were not easy to find everywhere, you didn't think that you would be able to continue to live in korea after breaking up with him… the thought made you sob, you couldn't stay in bed anymore, so you quietly stood up, walking to your safe place the balcony.

The living room was like it always use to be everything clean up and in its place, you saw the blanket that namjoon used on you last night perfectly folded, taking it to the balcony with you, a cup of tea to clean your mind and a lonely space for you to cry in peace, and there you were cuddling up in the chair, with the cold morning breeze it was 6AM, but you were crying, because there were no other options for you, you knew, Namjoon would not settle for you, you'll never live up to the standard needed to be his wife, so it was better to finish it now, than wait for later.

Only your cries and the mobile hanging in the side could be heard, so that was it, like that, it was going to be over.

“Y/N?!” He called, and you used all your strength to hide your tears, but of course he noticed.

“Are you ok honey? Talk to me” You could hear the worry in his voice, you really tried to pull back the tears, but seeing him did not help

And there, both of you were, him hugging you and giving you solace, until your crying stopped, and all you could feel was his heartbeat, his hand going up and down comforting you. There he was for you, and you were about to end a 4 year old relationship.

You meet namjoon 7 months into arriving in seoul, while you were doing your master your favorite professor suggested you to pursue a doctorate in Korea, she knew people, she could get you a internship in Seoul’s national museum while you studied, and of course she knew people in HanYang university, you knew she was an important woman in the area, but you sub estimated her contacts and power, and there you were a year later accepted into Hanyang university with a full scholarship and paid internship, you didn't know how, but the rumor that you were there due to nepotism spread all over your department reaching your workplace, while it was true that your professor helped you, the scholarship was won fairly due to your grades and the ingenuity of your master's thesis. It made your work and student life harder, as if the racism and colorism wasn't enough, but of course you weren't there to make friends, you were there to finish your studies and make a name for yourself. 

That just made everyone hated you more, your coworkers thought it would be great for you, a newly hire to conduct a private view of a new exposition for a VIP, at that point you did not know if it was the racism, the nepotism rumor or because they did not want to make it themselves; but at the end that's how you met namjoon, of course you knew who he was, you might not been his fan, but you knew what his impact was, the quality of his music, and the power he had. His whole presence made you nervous, but you weren't going to risk your job nor lose the professionalism. He ended up being there because the director invited him to look at the new collection that you direct boss had picked, but he wanted it to be private, he wanted to enjoy it, and that's how the both of you ended up there, sitting on the floor of the museum admiring the work behind the main art piece.

“Now I understand, why he wanted me to look at it in person” he said with a smile “it is magnific, it was worthy escaping from the studio for this”

“I know, art can free you, it's like the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe” you said, genuinely happy, because he was really calm and easy to talk to, so you weren't nervous anymore, it was a success.

“Indeed” he said looking at you, you felt the warm in your face because of the way he was looking at you, he stood up and helped you too “It has been a pleasure Y/N, meeting you and the collection, I think now I am supposed to take a photo” You got frozen en place, his voice was deep and raspy, it got you flustered, you came back to your senses

“Y-yes, you do, gimme a minute to look for the camera” You said moving quickly.

You took various photos of him, he looked great in every single one, Namjoon was a handsome man, and on top of that he was so humble and easy, maybe you expectatives where in the low as soon as you heard the world VIP or maybe Namjoon was just different, he made your heart move faster.

While you were tidying up he approached you with a question,

“Y/N would you like to take a photo with me?” it surprised you , but you did not have the ability to say no.

He pulled you close, you didn't know what to do, and he noticed, so he just told you to smile, you did so, but only god knows how you ended up looking in that picture. After that he said his farewell, and you could see his bodyguards getting closer than they were before.

It was such an experience it shaked your life for the next days, you could only think of him and his strong scents, it was so good, like a forest, as the freshness of the summer, Namjoon really did a number on you, you googled half of his life in those days, and started to listing to his music, it was really good, now you understood even more his fame. At the moment that you thought that you were forgetting the flustered feeling that he led on you, he posted it, he posted the photo that he took with you, you had a start sticker on your face, and his caption left you thinking about him even more,

art can free you, the whole world shut down for a minute and you can breathe

Did he post that because of you? Did he?

====================================

It was a normal thursday, you were in the subway on your way to work, thinking about the essay you had due this sunday, it was almost done, but you felt it was missing something, moonchild playing on your airpods. The day promised to be rainy, it always rained in seoul, but not in the sad depressing way it rained in London, Seoul’s rain was calm and nostalgic, sometimes it was full of rage. 

You didn't have much to do at work that day, the inauguration of the exposition was a success, you replied to the emails you had, sent some codes and updated the maintenance date of some artworks.

“Miss. Y/N, Mr. Park is asking to see you, if you could go to his office please” the voice caught you by surprise, it came from Mr. Shin, executive assistant of the museum director, the surprise was more in him coming directly to see you instead of sending you an email. Have something happened, did you mess up something…

You colleagues gave you strange and curious looks, it wasn't a normal situation, and their looks worked as a further confirmation. 

Walking through the administration hallways behind Mr. Shin, got you nervous, what could've gone wrong why are they calling you, are you fired? no, R.R.H.H would’ve called for that. Mr. Shin led you to the office door and retired, you could not bring yourself to knock at the door scared, but there was no other way of escaping it. You knocked on the door twice, until you heard a deep voice say, “Come in”

You opened the door using all your strength and calm “Good morning Mr. Park, how may I help-

You stopped on your word when you saw Namjoon sitting in the middle of the room, Mr. Park's office was big, two mauve sofas facing each other in front of the big brown desk, and Namjoon was seated in one of them looking at you with a smile.

“Hello ‘Y/N” his deep voice filling the room, “Please sit down’” he said signaling the sofa in front of him

You were frozen in your step, why was Namjoon there? you quickly got back to your senses, and greeted him sitting in front of him, you didn't know if the nervousness was visible, your hands were sweaty, while they rested on your knees.

“I know you got up here thinking you were going to see YoungJo, I am sorry for that, but I did not wanted to make a fuss, hope you understand” you nodded in comprehension, of course it was going to be worse if Kim Nam Joon came calling for you, it was already weird Mr. Park doing so.

“I'm going to be direct, would you like to work for me?” The shock was painted in your face “I want someone to curate some art pieces for my parents house, and for my house too, since our conversation last week, I feel that you would be perfect for it, we share the same art vision”

You couldn't say a word, he was waiting for your response, but since you stood there in silence he continue “Money is not the problem, nor is the time, please name your price and tell me when we can start working together”

“I-I, are you sure? wouldn't you like someone more professional for this? someone with more experience in the area” you muttered, still lacking the words.

“No” he said solemnly “I am not looking for experience or somebody with a name in this, I want you and your fresh views, I read your master thesis, and I know your working in your doctorate, as I said your vision is what I want, it amuse me”

“Can I think about it?” You said, but what was there to think.

“Of course” he said “Here look, this is my personal number, you can call me or add me to Kakao, and my agent number in case I don't respond, but it is unlikely” he handed you both of the cards, looking at your shocked face with a smile. “If someone asks, just tell them that YoungJo confused you with someone else, ok?”

You nodded, still feeling out of place, looking at his almond shaped eyes, he said goodbye and left, letting you there. You slowly stood up, and walked to your department, art acquisitions, as soon as you arrived your coworkers started whispering. You sat down keeping face, when you were about to start working, Anja, who seated next to you asked,

“Hey Y/N what was that about?” with curiosity flooding her face, you smile and said loud enough,

“It was nothing, looks like they were calling someone else and somehow they got to me” you said shrugging your shoulders, resting importance to it, with you saying that the whispering and the looks finished.

The rest of the day was normal, but you still could feel the nervousness in your gut, he read your thesis, and wanted you to help him curate art for his family house and his home, it feel surreal, to good to be truth, but if it was, the opportunity was amazing, Namjoon would become your first private client, the scholarship money was decent, and you pay wasn’t that bad, but you knew that whatever Namjoon would pay you would be enough to pay rent until you found a space in the campus dorms. You weren't sure yet, there wasn't a big reason to say no, but you felt insecure. What if your work does not live up to his expectations?

You arrived home putting those thoughts to rest, working on your assignments and studying your lectures, before you could realize it, it was already past midnight and you knew what you were going to say.

Hello Mr. Kim,

I would love to work with you, please let’s discuss terms and conditions.

Have a great day, “Y/N”

12:51 am

Looking at your phone screen maybe it was too short? but it didn't need any more it was concise, you hit sent, without realizing, that you did not programmed the text message to be sent at 9 in the morning, panicking looking at the screen, until those 3 hell looking dots started blinking,

Amazing, and yes I’ll have a great day ;)

knj

12:52 am

===========================================

And there you were the next day, in front of Namjoon’s workplace building, he asked you to come the next day to discuss the job requirements and pay, you set a 3PM meeting with him, going to the big doors of HYBE ent. you were nervous hand sweating approaching the reception, you'd feel the looks, but is not like you cared anymore, but maybe you should had hided your hair today, everyone at work was already use to it, but this was a new environment, the comfort of your usual places made you forget where you were.

“Hello good evening, I have a meeting” You say approaching one of the well groomed ladies in front of you, she looked you up and down, and say,

“Excuse you?” Your korean might not be the best, but it wasn't bad, now being here for almost 8 months it had clearly improved, you repeated yourself, and then she ‘understood’

“Ok, May I know the name of the person and their department please?” she said with a smirk in her face,

“I don't know his department, the name is Kim Nam Joon” she and the two ladies at her side looked at you like you were a rare species. 

“Are you sure of that?” She said with a shuckle, she wanted to laugh, it was clearly on her face.

“Yes I am sure, I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't” you said annoyed.

“Miss please, don't shame yourself in here, please go, or I'll be obligated to call security” the disgusted expression on her face saying everything you needed to know.

“Could you at least call him to verify?” keeping the last strand of politeness you asked.

“No. Please leave or I'll call security” she said standing up signaling the big crystal doors.

You were mad, not knowing what to do walking down to the doors, hearing his laughs and the looks of the people around, until of course your brain reacted, you were a smart girl after all,

Hello Mr. Kim I am already here

2:58 pm 

Ok, amazing please come to my studio they'll tell you the floor ;p

2:59 am

I am not being allowed, I went to the front desk and they asked me to go, should I?

3:00 pm

What? why? please dont leave, youre in the lobby right ill come to you

3:00 pm

You read the last text, still being mad but now you knew that namjoon actually wanted you there, you stood close to the door still with some of the looks in you, but they couldn't send you out, you haven't done anything and you could easily say you were going to the store. 5 minutes passed and you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket Namjoon was calling you.

“Hi Y/N? on what side are you?” his voice sounded agitated, as if he had run.

“Hello, yes, I’m close to the doors, I have a white cardigan and a brown plaid scarf” 

“I think I see you” and when he said that, you heard the commotion, there he was, his hair looking frizzy, like he had been passing his fingers through it. He had a pale green sweatshirt, a dark brown jacket and light brown trousers.

You heard the call finish, and he was getting closer to you, the people in the lobby were looking at him, and you were too but not with the same eyes. Namjoon looked so hot, he smiled at you, he was happy to see you and that calmed your heart.

“Hello Y/N, I thought you would leave” he said, extending his hand to you, you shaked hands with him.

“I almost did” you said, trying to conceal the discomfort in your voice.

“What happened, why couldn't you come in? it was just a call away” he said smiling to the people around you, you started walking with him and two bodyguards started walking at the sides.

“I explained that to the lady but she did not care to confirm that”

“Who?” the demanding tone clearly in his voice he stopped to look at you, his eyes waiting for an answer

“T-he lady with the ponytail” you mutter, namjoon’s eyes intimidate you.

“Is ok” he said, dragging you to the front desk, “Can I have a visitors pass for MY guest” he was clearly annoyed, and you were too, the face in the lady was priceless, she was between shock and disbelief, until she actually needed to talk,

“C-can I have some form of ID? " she asked, you opened your purse to take your passport, going directly to your work visa.

=========================================

Namjoon drove you to his studio, scanning his face on the door. The hallway to it was beautifully decorated with small and big art pieces, Namjoon really had a great taste, his studio was small but cozy, you could feel how he crafted every space himself, it screamed his whole personality. 

“Please sit down” he said and you did so “Before we begin I am obligated to made you sign a NDA, is just protocol” he said sitting in from of you handing you a folder

“Yes, I understand” you said, giving a quick read to the NDA, you signed because it was ok and handed it to him.

“Ok, perfect. Do you want something to drink? I’m making myself a coffee” he stood up waiting for your answer.

“Water would be fine”

“I don't like to beat around the bush Y/N, I want you to pick beautiful and meaningful pieces for me, I would do it myself” he brought a glass of water for you, while holding a cup of smoking coffee “But I am pretty busy right now and I like you, and your style. Your thesis in Seurat, was an enjoyable read, and I feel that your fresh vision would be perfect for what I want” He sat down in front of you taking a sip, you did the same, Namjoon made you nervous, his aura was intoxicating.

“I get it, still, I don't have a full experience curating, I might have the theory but I stick lack the practice” you said being honest

“I'm giving the practice to you, what about 15% for every piece you pick for me? " he said with a smile that made his dimples show up.

You smiled at him “What about 20%?” You smirked.

“25%, do we have a deal?” he put down his cup to look you directly in the eyes.

“W-we do.” you smiled at him nervously due to his gaze.

“You could've said 50% and I would have said yes. I just want you.” He said standing up, giving you his hand, his words made you lose your breath.

=======================

from delululand with love, kive &lt;3

[jinnie-ret]

MY YOUTH | SKZ NINTH AU

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

<---------- back to my youth

<---------- back to main masterlist

chapter 3

genre: fluff, angst content warnings: bullying, implied death

word count: 1.2k

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Worried about who was on the other side of the door, Lou braced herself. Whatever happens, we take it with a pinch of salt, she thought, expecting it to be someone that wouldn't take too kindly to her.

She was right to expect that exact kind of person.

"So, finally decided to stop whoring around our oppas?" one girl asked as she barged into Lou's studio.

"Look, poor baby can't go anywhere without a teddy," another girl mocked as she held up a plushie of a little ginger cat.

Lou could only helplessly look around as another headache came on.

"Ouch," she said quietly to herself as she held onto her head.

"Mina-unnie, Sora-Unnie, maybe we should leave this for another time..." a girl who hovered by the doorway said, looking around in case someone appeared.

Lou shut her eyes as she saw something else in her head.

"Promise me, Louisa, that you won't stop yourself from reaching your dreams, okay? Don't do it just because of me," a woman in a hospital bed held Lou's hand as she cried.

"I promise, Mum," Lou wiped her eyes, holding on so tightly to a hand that slipped away from hers, as a machine started beeping.

"Guys, it's gone quiet in the next room, I think we need to go," the younger girl scratched her head awkwardly, watching as Mina and Sora noises around Lou's belongings.

"Hey, Lou-ser, guess you won't mind if we take these. Yah! Don't ignore us!" Sora prodded at Lou who was holding onto the wall for balance and her head in pain. Meanwhile Mina was holding onto that very plushie, sensing it meant something, and onto Lou's purse too.

"Hey look at Lou's plushie, so cute," the members of SKZ cooed as they looked around her room as part of a house tour they were doing in a vlog.

"Guys why are you all in my room?" Lou burst out laughing in her vision.

"Who got you this, so so cute," Felix held up the plushie.

"Ah, my, my mum, my eomma got it for me," Lou sadly smiled, Lee Know going up to her and giving her a hug noticing her slight discomfort around the subject.

Lou blinked her eyes seeing Mina flipping through her notebook too.

"Hey, give that back!" Lou went over to take back her own things. It felt like a big thing for her because in the normal way in her home reality she hated confrontation, but something within her now was bubbling.

"Jiah! Don't just stand there, don't let her win!" Sora hissed at the younger girl who clearly didn't want to be there. She didn't understand why her unnies chose to harass an idol, they were still trainees. This would not look good for them.

"Jiah!"

And so the girl went behind Lou and pulled her back, stopping her from snatching her own items from Mina.

"Stupid girl actually writes some decent songs, mine now," Mina tore out the most recent pages from Lou's book, nodding her head towards the door as she held onto the money and toy.

"Guys, leave her like that."

And so they left, Lou beginning to feel a horrible choked feeling in her chest. She didn't know her mum in this universe, yet she still felt the heartache of her loss and the last thing her mum must have gotten for her being taken away. She couldn't imagine losing her actual mum so having to be forced to live through a life where that was the reality wasn't all too ideal.

Wiping her tears away after doing some deep breathing to get rid of the horrible feeling, she stood up and went back to her notebook, trying to remember as many of the words she had written to 'She Plays Bass' as she could. There was a new found determination to finish the song, before any of those girls could claim it as their own and take all the credit for her hard work.

"Ah! For fuck's sake!" Lou slammed her pencil down, rubbing her temples as the next lines, which already existed, weren't flowing out as they should be.

"Woah, this a bad time?" Seungmin had popped his head through, but was clearly regretting it now as he saw the rarely angry Lou.

"No, it's just, ah maybe..." Lou stared at her notebook tiredly.

"Hey, where did Garfield go?" Seungmin said, pointing at the little seat where the plushie usually sat, shocked at it not being there.

"Ah, I lost it."

"Really? You ok?" he tiptoed around the obvious as he asked Lou, standing next to her now to gage her reaction.

"Yeah, I'll find it, I'm sure, I probably left it at the dorms earlier," Lou hummed in thought.

"Ok well, come on then, let's have some fun," Seungmin had a mischievous grin on his face.

Soon they snuck into the 3RACHA studio, seeing Changbin and Han had fallen asleep and Chan was deep into the zone with his headphones on.

"Okay, so on the count of 3, you press play," Seungmin instructed Lou as they hovered around the doorway.

3

2

1

'Shoot Me' by DAY6 came blasting through the Bluetooth speaker that Seungmin was holding and the two of them started crazily jumping around and dancing as Changbin and Han's screams shocked Chan out of his creative mode.

"YAH"

"AHHHHHH!"

"Guys what the f-"

"Bang bang!" Seungmin and Lou sang along whilst trying to fit the Miroh choreo to the song.

"Turn it off!"

"So loud!"

"Guys I'm on live!" Chan shouted over them, which quickly froze the two mischief makers, Lou rushing to stop the music from her phone as Seungmin did the same trying to find the off button on the speaker.

Lou slowly walked to where Chan was sat and looked over his shoulder at the screen,

"You're live?"

The comments came rushing in:

Hahaha Flo looks so confused

The way Binnie and Han jumped out of their skin 😂😂😂

Seungmin definitely made Lou do this ahahaha

How did Chan not notice ahhhhh

"Yeah, how didn't you see us?" Lou poked Chan's shoulder.

"I was too invested in showing stays how I produce," Chan rubbed his head tiredly.

"Today isn't even Sunday?" Lou carried on confused.

Han burst out laughing, "Yah, Lou doesn't know the days of the week!"

"What day did you think it was?" Seungmin laughed from his spot on the sofa next to Changbin and Han.

"Tuesday?"

Chan shook his head fondly. "We'll leave it there stays, Lou needs to go back to school!"

As Chan was doing his outro, Lou facepalmed and went off camera.

"That was so embarrassing."

"And you don't think it's not embarrassing in the normal way," Changbin joked as he sat back with his arms folded.

"I'm just going to lay here and never move again," Lou laid across all three of them, her head resting in Han's lap who automatically played with her hair. This was sort of Lou's kryptonite because she was already feeling tired.

"Hey don't make her sleepy we haven't had dinner yet," Chan turned around in his chair.

"What's for dinner?" Lou sleepily muttered.

"Bulgogi, kimchi-"

"I'm up. I'm awake!"

<-- previous chapter next chapter -->

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @lixie-phoria

[ashilrak]

Hi! So sorry to bother you! I just finished 'If you ask me for my fire' and I really enjoyed it! However, it brought up a question that has been nagging me for some time when I read any Perpollo or Percy x god with a similar premise, and I thought what better to ask someone who has written a few fics with that theme - IF Percy got with a god and took the immortality route (whether forced or not) would that god be loyal? In the case of your fic would Apollo stay by Percy's side for all eternity, really? Would he never stray at all? - I know it's not the easiest question and I apologise but I'd love to hear some insight, especially since the fic I chose is so ambiguous in the end like yeah he absolutely forced him to immortality but only to have him by his side for eternity, to me the more important question is now Apollo has got what he wanted does he stay loyal? If forever is all that he has, then would he really spend it with Percy? At the end of the day he is a god - a Greek one at that - and they aren't known for Loyalty and pure singular devotion for their spouses.

Again, sorry about this question! I know its more nuanced than I'm making this poorly worded Tumblr ask to be, and I mean in general not just for your fic, but your fic is really good and a good example for the question cause in the case of your fic Percy says he doesn't know but loyalty is so important to him, he would probably stay out of that (and fear and sadness) and never ever stray but say it's a different situation where someone like maybe Hephaestus did something similar maybe forced, or maybe Percy chose it doesn't matter but would Hephaestus then stay loyal?

Honestly would love to hear the insight, your own biased answer not a generalisation, if you know anyone else that can give their own unique answers, please pass this along! I know you're close to mrthology and other big Perpollo writers, so all answers are good, but you don't have to! Sorry, that's kind of rude of me to ask.

Also, the second part of this question would be, If they do stay loyal through everything, what kind of message does that send? Is Percy really that more important that he could stop the biggest serial adulterers to stop completely? That's he can do what countless others have tried to do, and he wasn't even trying that hard. That he was enough when others weren't? - BUT that's not important, ignore that, I'm just being insane this is a children's book series.

I'm glad you enjoyed the fic!

So, if Percy were to become immortal and enter a relationship with a God, would that God stay loyal? You're right in that there's a lot of nuance to the question and that everyone is going to look at it differently. It's definitely a question I like playing around a lot with in my fics.

I get pretty long-winded in my response, but I have a feeling you won't mind lol

For the purposes of this conversation, we're going to assume loyal = monogamous (I could see Percy being polyamorous in a closed way, like percy/annabeth/apollo or the 7 or something, but not in a way where one or more partners are having casual sex with people Percy doesn't know, but that's not that important here). This point will be addressed later.

My gut instinct is no. With perpollo specifically, I do think there might be a short period of time where Apollo is loyal to Percy. But, I think that loyalty would be more incidental than anything. For a while, Apollo would be absolutely obsessed with Percy and during that time Apollo might be monogamous. But it's the same way he might become obsessed with some shiny new instrument and only play that for a short period of time. How long this era of loyalty/obsession might last is somewhere a lot of people might differ.

But, as time went on, their story would fall in line with every other pairing among the Gods. There might be a sort of constancy there, but there will always be dallying. Hell, within the PJO verse specifically, Demigods serve a purpose and Apollo's cabin is full to bursting at any given moment. I don't think it becoming empty would be something that's easily accepted, and to get demigods, you need infidelity.

Apollo staying loyal is something I've explored, specifically in Electing Strange Perfections. In that fic, Apollo tricks Percy into immortality and Percy becomes the God of Loyalty. Through Hera and a series of events, Apollo marries Percy. Consequently, Apollo cannot stray due to Percy's domain/powers/influence. In other words, it takes an outside influence.

Part of why I think this is due to how I see and write the Gods for the fics. They are inhuman, ancient beings who have lived on a scale the human mind cannot comprehend. I like to see the Greek Gods as feeling everything so intensely, with human emotion being watered down. It's fun to play with the idea of humans lives, love, and feelings being more valuable for being so short-lived rather than for their intensity. Rarity increasing value sorta thing. Also the idea that the Gods simply are their domains and what that makes myths look like in the context of human experience. Like of course Hades took Demeter's daughter, that's what death does (I'm referencing a tumblr post here I can't find to link).

Riordan's Gods are very humanized. I personally like to play with the idea of that being a result of changing with the times, but their core still being the same. Sure, they might soften themselves for modern demigods due to time and cultures changing expectations, but that doesn't erase the thousands of years that very much wasn't the case. It's a fun dichotomy to play with in fic where you can do whatever you want. I like the Gods being Gods tag.

In the world of Percy Jackson, myths are history. The morals of Greek mythology are different from what we're used to seeing, but that doesn't mean they're not there. The myths depict cruelties and horrors, but often these same cruelties were justified to the Gods enacting them. And those are the Gods we're reading and writing about when you're playing with PJO.

I do love reading and writing the softer moments between the Demigods and the Gods. Whether that's parental, friendships, or romantic. But Apollo helping someone heal doesn't erase the fact that he is also the God of plague; like the black plague, the spanish influenza, covid-19, cancer -- that's all him. With these softer moments, that doesn't erase everything else the Gods do and have done, and that they will forever look at their actions in a different way. I think there's a sort of obligation there too, as part of their domains. Ares will always be war.

And I think this obligation extends to their affairs. Ares has children with soldiers, Athena has kids with academics -- they're falling for their own domains. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but how can you fault the god of thieves for falling for a thief? And I do think there's love, it just looks so very different from what we might be used to.

All this to say, long-term monogamy is not in Apollo's wheelhouse. He's married to the muses by some accounts. Apollo is the God of so many things: music and healing just to name the few. I don't think he'll permanently change millennia of behavior for Percy, no matter how romantic that sounds. A musician who performs for the love of the song is going to catch Apollo's eye because that is to perform for the love of Apollo, even if the musician in question doesn't know that.

Earlier, I said for the purposes of this question we'll define loyal as monogamous, and I think that's part of the crux of the matter. I think Percy would see affairs and demigods as a sign of disloyalty. I don't think Apollo would if Apollo always comes back to Percy. This is a much more understandable difference in view point and one we see between people on the daily.

And definitely reach out to a few others; it's a super fascinating conversation! These questions are part of why I love reading and writing the Demigod/God fics so much -- Demigods have a better idea of what they're getting into, which makes all of these things stand out so much more when the God doesn't have to hide. I know @mrthology and I are definitely aligned regarding the Apollo and loyalty question, but I can't speak for anyone else!

[spadesolace]

can i request reader being someone’s older sibling and haerin is like into the reader but people think she’s into her friend 🥹

i can see haerin just observing the reader while she has friends over and being such a sunshine

my best friend's sister : non idol! kang haerin x fem!reader

synopsis: you don't know if haerin hates you or she's just super shy whenever you're around

words: 1k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

haerin knew this was bad.

she’s been best friends with danielle for who knows how long, they could all see the way the pair act all lovey dovey, something that sparked the rumors of them dating. all of their time is spent right next to each other, both families know of their presence, and even you, danielle’s older sister, know of haerin’s presence.

who wouldn’t fall for danielle, she’s top of her class, part of the cheer team, and has a voice of an angel. why settle for less, right?

well, having a crush on her best friend’s older sister was going to be a problem, let alone people thought that danielle and her are dating. the assumptions people make that kang haerin is thinking about love because of her best friend who is secretly seeing someone. partially, yes, she’s helping danielle in courting jang wonyoung who’s in a different class, and she’s no help when she’s being all flustered and blushing when you’re nearby.

personality wise, y/n marsh, is the complete opposite of danielle marsh.

you’re chaotic, loud, playful, but you deeply care for danielle, one of the first traits that haerin found endearing about you. just like danielle, you’re part of the top students in your university, an officer in multiple organizations that shows how dedicated you are in improving your leadership skills, but also you play instruments and sing bass to support danielle in her hobbies.

haerin has always kept an eye on you, and she wonders if you do the same thing to her.

it was no surprise that you and danielle go everywhere together during the weekends, probably because her sister who is older by 2 years is the only person she can drag anywhere, aside from haerin. 

it was already a problem trying to avoid you at school when you would drop danielle off and keep her safe. or how when you two are left alone, you become quiet and try to do some sort of small talk but fail miserably because haerin is too flustered to even talk to you.

she’s trying her best, but something about you just makes her freak out, panic, blush, and overall just lose her mind. even when danielle has her entire friend group over, haerin has a hard time conversing with you, minji and hanni do it with ease, hyein tends to keep close as you baby her, and most of the time she’s next to danielle.

“hey, jihye.” danielle hums, not looking at you as she continues reading her book.

“does haerin not like me?” that line made danielle stop and look at you with, ‘are you that dense?’

“why…? do you want her to like you?” you raised your hands up in a defensive way, it just felt weird that you’re close with all of danielle’s friends except for her best friend. even wonyoung talks to you, so you simply question it.

“well, yeah. haerin’s your best friend after all. you’re close with yuna, and sometimes i feel like you two are best friends.” danielle only laughed at your face as she reassured you that haerin does not hate you or anything along those lines.

the next time haerin came to visit, you weren’t there to greet her like you usually do. a smile on your face ready to hug her and check up on her then going back to doing whatever you were initially doing. maybe she missed her chance, you’re a college student and probably in the middle of finishing some requirements. benefit of the doubt.

danielle took notice of how haerin’s eyes kept lingering at the door or the stairs, she could only laugh at her best friend. you just went out to buy some snacks because yuna was gonna come by to do some allnighters for your midterms. not because haerin was also coming over and you wanted to buy them snacks as well and think of a way to talk to the girl.

so when haerin heard your footsteps that somehow always have a rhythm going through the front porch and humming something. you opened the door to see haerin looking at you as soon as you entered, carry two bags filled with snacks and some ramen, you gave her a shy smile.

“haerin-ssi, hi. where’s danielle?” you removed your shoes and let haerin carry one of the bags to help you sort them in the kitchen.

“she went to the bathroom.” you hummed, placing the bag on the counter, turning to haerin and hugging her as your usual greeting. she wanted to stay within your arms, you’re taller than hyein, the perfect height according to her, the warmth you give off. i’ll never get tired of this.

“how’d you been?” you let go first, giving a small smile at her and went on to sorting the snacks you bought.

“good. you?” she helped you sort it out, passing the chips and biscuits to your side as you handed her the ramens.

“quite alright, wondering if you hate me.” that took haerin by surprise, another trait of yours that she just admires is the way you confront people with no fear. danielle still has that fear of hurting people emotionally but with you, if there’s a problem why let it linger?

how does she say that she doesn’t hate you, that she actually likes you a lot, and not in a way where she looks up to you but wishes to be a part of your daily life.

“i don’t hate you, its quite the opposite really. i’m just…”

��shy?” haerin nodded as you fold the eco bags and place them under the sink along with the other bags and plastic bags.

“... would it be weird if i ask you out on a date?”

“what?!”

you stopped what you were doing, looking at haerin directly in the eye. it would be lie if you said you don’t like her, heck danielle knew of your crush on her best friend and simply didn’t wish to intervene.

“JUST SAY YES!” danielle shouted by the stairs, making you and haerin stop and look towards that direction.

“DANI!” to say the least, you did manage to get that date with haerin after chasing danielle around the house. haerin is lucky that her best friend’s sister looks her way.

[neufer]

An analysis of Darry and Ponyboy

I think my favorite change the musical makes from the book/movie is that Darry went to school but had to drop out when his parents died. It obviously creates this great parallel between him and Ponyboy, but I’d never really thought about it in-depth until now.

Yes, Darry’s situation makes him push Pony even harder when it comes to his school work. Yes, there is that looming sense of ‘my older brother had to sacrifice his opportunity for me so now it’s up to me to do what he was unable to do’ for Ponyboy. But what I think is really interesting is what comes next for both of them post-canon. Granted, I have not seen the musical so all of this is from what I’ve gotten from the songs and seen online.

It’s very easy to only think about Johnny’s interpretation of the poem and Stay Gold in terms of how it relates to Ponyboy. But how does it relate to Darry? Darry was dealt a terrible hand and is rightfully upset. That’s another great part of the musical that I would say wasn’t a huge part of the book/movie. Because we have his point of the view in Runs in the Family, the reprise, and Throwing in the Towel we get so much more of his struggles and how hard of a time he’s been having. We see him express his frustration in a way that’s more than just cracking down on Ponyboy. He, like Ponyboy, is upset with his situation and the world around him. But, he, like Ponyboy, post-canon will maybe start looking for the beauty in the fold and realizing that the good he has around him can outweigh the bad if he lets it. His story is not over. He can still make a life for himself even though he doesn’t finish school. It will just be a different way than he originally planned. I think we get an inkling of this in the book when, right before the rumble, Ponyboy says “I looked at Darry. He wasn’t going to be any hood when got old. He was going to get somewhere. Living the way we do would only make him more determined to get somewhere. That’s why he’s better than the rest of us, I thought. He’s going somewhere. And I was going to be like him. I wasn’t going to live in a lousy neighborhood all my life.”

!!! Christ that is a good passage.

On a similar note, just based on those last two sentences and some other stuff in canon it’s clear that Ponyboy starts to have a better understanding of why Darry is so hard on him, and maybe Darry eases up in some ways. But I can definitely see it still being somewhat of an issue further down the line. Like maybe when Darry is more optimistic about everything, Ponyboy starts to talk about how he’ll still be okay even if he doesn’t get good grades or go as far as everyone tells him he can, because Darry didn’t do that and he’s still making something of himself. But then Darry is there to tell him that even though that may be the case, that doesn’t mean Ponyboy shouldn’t try. He’s got to try until he makes it or until life makes him change his plans. Either way, he’s going to be okay.

[skyfallscotland]

Variation, by Rebecca Yarros 🩰

"Messy is good, love. Messy is where the best parts of life happen. You don’t have to be in control at all times. It’s okay if you fall apart. I promise I will be right here to put you back together if you just let me."

This was an interesting one for me. I picked it because it was available on KU as dual e-book and audio, so I could listen while I went about my day. I didn't mean to finish it in one day alone, but it sucked me right in.

I'm in two minds about it. If you'd asked me in the first 75% what I thought of it, I would have said it was great and recommended it, but the train quickly derailed for me. I still enjoyed it and I liked the story, but we all know I'm not capable of reading for just 'vibes' and there were a couple of plot twists that I felt came out of nowhere, for no reason, and weren't executed very well at all (their mother, Juniper's father, what really happened ten years ago). None of this really added to the story, in my opinion and the execution fell flat.

Still, there were a lot of gems in there for me. Having experienced a very similar injury in real life, one super common in ballerinas (three surgeries, constant pain, having to learn to walk on it again), I could relate a lot to everything Allie went through, and obviously the depression too.

Each time the pressure drove me to the surface for oxygen, it not only reminded me that my lung capacity was shit after going months without training, but also drove home the inescapable truth that I still wanted to live. Thirty-seven. For a couple of terrifying months, I hadn’t been entirely sure.

Fatigue won. Seems like it always does.

Sleep had become my greatest friend, and maybe, if I was being honest, a coping mechanism that was quickly turning into addiction. In unconsciousness, there were no ankle injuries, no rehabs, no decisions to be made about how hard to push myself and when. There were endless possibilities and zero consequences.

Speaking of Allie—and Hudson—I really liked them, their relationship was sweet and Hudson was obviously an (almost) perfect man (he went back for the dog!!).

"I told you I want you. I’m done hiding from it. Public. Private. Don’t care. This is real for me. It’s about to get messy."

“It’s already real. What do you need to feel safe?”

And Allie herself was a lovely, well-rounded character in general, I really liked her.

“You deserve someone who thinks you’re the world.”

However...

(There's always a however with me)

They very much felt to me like Xaden Riorson and Violet Sorrengail in a different font. Maybe it's just because I'm so entrenched in this fandom, maybe not, it's hard to tell being that it's my first contemporary of hers, but it felt like Rebecca has a type and that's cookie cutter versions of the same person, and also the same problems, same arguments, same conversations, even down to some lines.

I had a good chuckle at some of this:

“I want all of you. No masks. No walls. No more pretending what’s between us is fake when we both know it’s excruciating, and terrifying, and amazingly real. I want more than five minutes.” Panic shot into my blood like ice, but it quickly melted in the overwhelming heat coursing through me. “That’s not going to happen.” I’d never be foolish enough to let him in all the way again, not when he had a track record of leaving. “It is.” The certainty in his gaze didn’t stop me from lifting my hand to my other shoulder. “And I wish I was above using sex as a way to get you, to keep you. But I’m not.”

Oh God. If he stopped, I’d die. I’d simply combust right here and cease to exist.

“There’s no one else.” His lips ghosted across my stomach and his hands slipped under my shins. “Never was. Not for either of us.”

Hudson never lies to Allie...except by omission, in a big way. I had a little laugh at that. I also didn't really like Allie's sisters at all, or Hudson's, they're kind of terrible to them. I liked her best friend though: Rhiannon Kenna, and his brother Garrick Gavin, LOL.

All in all, I would recommend it, it was a good book, I'm just put off by the twists in the final 25% because I thought it was all going to tie together in a neat little bow, and it was anything but neat. A very strange ending and I'm left wondering why any of the book even happened. I don't know, those are my thoughts fresh off the final page 🤷‍♀️

If you've read it or any of her other contemporaries, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

[knightyoomyoui]

Tzuyu x M/F Reader - "A Depressing Resemblance"

I'm back for the nth time lmao. Yeah, college life is SO stressful and tiring. I couldn't get to build up interest on writing on my free time because anytime I would just rather use my day off by taking a long rest from all the hectic school tasks to accomplish. Anyways, I know I said from the previous Chaeyoung fic that it would be the last one-shot for Set 5 lineup? I changed my mind. THIS is the last one. I had to make it... uhh organized, I guess? Like, you know... I don't want to just end it off right away to Chaeyoung for Set 5 unlike what I've been doing from the previous line-ups where Tzuyu who is the last member based on their age order (yeah, i'm depending my line-up pattern from their age order) should originally be the last one to close the line-up. So yeah, the Set 5 INDEED ENDS HERE. For Set 6, I'm scrapping off the Tzuyu fic of my idea and I 'm going to move Cry For Me PART 3 after Momo's (which means PART 3 and 4 will be next at each other) so that would make me start the line-up with Nayeon's in usual. Basically, there's gonna be only one Tzuyu solo fic for Set 6 and that will be the "Red Thread Of Fate" which was suggested by ShaShaSha029. Again, I deeply apologize that I'm uploading very slow now for this book. Being a college/engineering student is very difficult, guys. I can't promise anymore that I'm going to do better on releasing works, but I can assure yall that I will not stop and I will finish this book in the future. Enjoy reading guys!

Walking back and locking yourself alone inside your office on campus was a typical habit of yours to do every day. You couldn't help it either, as long as you found all of the professors who taught the subjects, especially the major ones, to be lame.

Brilliance might be a curse for you to possess, but you wouldn't deny at least that it does save you at a point where you need to escape from something you wouldn't be in.

Your hand stopped from rotating the doorknob, just as your heart ached as you had that thought again.

The thought belongs to one of the biggest what-ifs you will ever carry for the rest of your life.

What would you be right now if that brilliance of yours had assisted you to make on time and save someone rather than yourself?

Exhaling deeply to regain your composure, you unlocked the door and stepped in immediately.

You dropped your bag on the couch and went near the bulletin board of your club's room.

It was clean; there were not many cases you had to check to place yourself in enjoyment and impress everybody with your remarkable deductive skills.

But there was always a thing that would distract you amongst the rest—nothing to seem care about anything once you got a glimpse of it.

It happens everytime, whether you do it intentionally or not.

No matter what, it still remains the same.

It's hard to look.

You stared at the display of a photo of your club featuring you, who seemed completely united, even facing the other direction instead of the camera with your grumpy face.

To your side was a girl. She was your co-member... Well, technically, your only partner and member of your "club" since you were known to be a terror, cold individual around the campus, all of the students except her had the interest to join alongside your student-detective role. But most importantly... she was the one you adored a lot. She was the only exception, and truly did prove you right from the day you met her.

Her smile was very bright; it could've been like her future if it weren't for that to happen. She could've still been here with you, ready to solve mysterious cases and chasing culprits with you.

You flinched as the reality of it tugged at your heart painfully again.

That was the last photo you've taken with her, and that was on the same day you'd lost her afterwards.

To quit hurting yourself too much, you went on to be preoccupied with other things to get busy with. In your desk were some papers to finish, including the main case you're currently investigating which seems like the truth is about to set free sooner now that you've captured the mastermind's greatest ally.

As you were reviewing all the photos and other informations regarding the case, your door was received with knocks.

"Come in." You yelled from the inside.

The door opens, revealing someone that put you again in pleading for mercy.

Mercy that she would stop bothering you anymore.

"What is it this time, Sally?" You asked her without much of energy in your voice.

"Any updates within my application? It's been like days now since I applied." She said as she plants down her bag on your couch as if she owned the place with you.

"Wh- huh?" You clenched your face in confusion. "Did you really listened to what I've said for the past days or you're just doing it all intentionally to mess around with me?"

"What did I do? I was just asking."

"Sally..." You paused as you slammed your papers on the table to try holding your temper down as you were about to get mad again. "For how many times, I already told you that your application is rejected. What's in there that's so hard for you to understand?!"

"Ohhhh..." Sally reacted, gasping her mouth in fascination. It was then her expression transformed back into a serious one. "Wait, you sure?"

You slumped your back on the chair in defeat. Rubbing your hands on your face in frustration, you squinted your eyes and furrowed your eyebrows as you stare at her fiercely.

"Just... what do you want? What you need for me to make you stop?" You said wearily. "I have no time to play with your games, Sally."

"Nothing more. I just want to be on your detective club. That's it." Sally shrugged as she looked around the room. Her smile became forced for a while at something before she returns her focus at you.

"Well guess what, Sally. Hate to break it to you but whatever you do, even if you wont stop annoying me with your application, I won't give it to you." You make things clear to her. "You are not qualified to be in this club. Now please, I'm begging you. Get out."

Sally stared at you for a moment before she pouted and picked up her bag. "Guess you need some more convincing. I'll you show then."

"Wait, hey!-"

She closed the door and left the room, rudely interrupting your complaint that was about to come. You groaned in irritation as you ran out of ways to get rid of that woman.

It's kind of ironic that you both don't even know why she is so desperate to join your team and why she introduced herself when it was during the time that you were still grieving.

The scenarios have made you feel like this isn't even a coincidence anymore. Something strange must be behind all of this.

Later at night, you were reporting all of the insights you'd constructed to your senior police inspector, who is assigned to your campus' main security and protection team, when you received a call from an anonymous number.

"Hello hello, have I interrupted you with your silly job, YN?" The voice of a violent cruel person has got your attention to be in complete alert.

You quickly stood up from your seat and made a distance to excuse yourself.

"Yishin? What's with the sudden call?"

"Just wanna show you something~" he turned the call into a video one, and what showed into your screen had you tremble in fear.

"No. W-what are you doing there? W-why are you spying on h-"

"Karma is a bitch, YN. Look's like this girl's been so interested in joining your rotten club that already lost its charm ever since your precious charming girlfriend gone forever that she couldn't stop coming in your office."

He said as the video continues to record Sally who seemed like she was writing something on her notes while sitting down on one of the steps in front of the building.

"You took out my informant, and I'll give it you. You probably did that in return for what I've done to you, but here's what I had understand very clear about you. You're stupid and dumb, YN. This fight between us is far from over. It's like a cycle, on and on and on, and payback's going to be on repeat not until one of us gives up and simply drop dead.

So... what do you say, should we play a game by losing your next partner in justice?"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH, LEAVE HER ALONE ON THIS!" You clenched your fist tighter on your phone as your screamed, shocking everyone on the police station.

"Oh yeah, you're going to succumb to her desperation right, hmm?" He laughed maniacally as he watches her start to fix up her bag. "Oh come on, don't tell me you won't! You've always been so soft whenever it comes to her."

"I'm going to go there, so I can finally end this once in for all, you fucker." You blatantly warned him. "It's time that you finally came out of your hiding, but I expected better from you to face me rather than putting innocent life here at stake."

"Well, that's what you've been so wrong about me, YN." He teased you. "I never play fair." He ended the call, leaving you in a panic state as you hurriedly returned to the desk.

"INSPECTOR, WE HAVE TO MOVE FAST AND GO BACK TO THE SCHOOL. SOME STUDENT THERE IS ON DANGER BECAUSE OF STRYKER. PLEASE, CALL SOME BACK UPS NOW."

"On it."

You went into your car and drove fast into the campus where you searched for the building that you've last seen Sally at.

Fortunately, you got there pretty much on time for you to locate Sally, but in your surprise, what you've seen had you in suspicion.

Sally was stomping Yishin also known as Stryker on the stomach as his hands were tied in the back using a duct tape. His face were beaten up badly, but his craziness won't allow him to stop laughing at his pain and defeat.

"I knew it, I knew there's something interesting about you! But this wasn't what I have in mind-"

Stryker was shut up by Sally who punched him back and forth in the face. "Then now you know, because you deserve this. I hold vengeance, I'm going to hit you with it and have you feel my wrath of punishment."

Sally plastered another duct tape into his mouth before she turned around and see you standing, watching her in disbelief.

"What's going on..." You breathily said. "How could you do this by yourself?"

"Hey YN! Look what I have here. How's my performance? Am I qualified now?"

You stepped forward at her and eyed her sharply. "Tell me, who the hell are you?"

"Didn't I gave you my biodata-"

"Quit spinning my words and don't give me any bullshit. Answer me properly, WHY DO YOU KEEP ON PESTERING ME?!"

"Can you please stop yelling? Why are you even so mad about me, I haven't even done anything wrong to you?!" She returned. You turned around face her away as you took some time to breathe out.

"I just wanted to be part of your club, join you on exploring cases, I even helped you finish one, what's your problem?! There's something that's holding you back, why couldn't you just share it to me!"

"IT'S YOU! THE PROBLEM IS YOU!" Your voice cracked as you snapped at Sally and glanced back angrily at her, making her flinch. "I don't even know you and I don't like you being around me, especially when you're... wearing the same face as my friend who passed away months ago!" "On top of that, you also started to act the same way how she applied for my club too!" you revealed to her.

You pulled out your phone and opened it, revealing your wallpaper with a picture of your girl, captured by you when you decided to sneakily take one because she looked so cute thinking deeply while solving cases with you.

You gave it to Sally who hold the phone as she looked at your wallpaper. You began to cry as all the emotions took over you when you felt you had to reminisce the memories she left for you.

"Her name's Chou Tzuyu. She was just like the same age as yours, I don't even know how it's possible that you look exactly like her." you got choked in your words as you traced Sally's figure in bitter amazement. To describe Sally's appearance, she sports a curvy black long hair, a thicker jawline, and more well-built compared to Tzuyu who has straight blonde long hair, round face structure with less visible jawline, and slimmer figure. The rest were literal similarities of them together, speaking of being skillful, beautiful, adorable, tall, smart and lively but can be very intimidating when gets serious and many more.

"She died 7 months ago, because of that bastard." You glared at Stryker who is now unconscious. "I didn't want her to get involved too much about his case knowing how dangerous it is. He killed a lot of students whether a part of his scheme or not.

But she insisted. She wanted to stay and help me, because she didn't want me either to be in danger and get stressed out with this along with the academics. I just... let her because I didn't wanna make her sad but..."

You sobbed between your words as the flashbacks ran into your mind, starting from the time your feelings bloomed for the first time because of Tzuyu's undeniable charm.

"I just wanted to protect her because I love her. I grew in love for my partner. I couldn't help it, she's the exact opposite as me, she's beautiful and very lovely. I never had the courage to tell her because I was scared that she wouldn't like me back."

Going back, she invested herself more on the case, to the point that Stryker and his allies started to target her as she collected too much infos from them.

Then one night, I came into her dorm because I wanted to ask her out to eat with me outside to loosen ourselves a bit with the case,

But I found her instead, her door was slightly opened..."

You recalled as you entered her room and what greeted you was too devastating and sickening of you to endure.

You had to witness the cold dead body of Tzuyu laying down on her bed with her own pool of blood. She had a knife stabbed in her stomach, with a note saying that "she has seen too much.

As the police arrived, you had to help them bring Tzuyu to the ambulance as you joined them there to have her get treated. Unfortunately, your prayers didn't worked as she was pronounced dead on arrival from lost of much blood and organ damage.

You collapsed at the hallway in torment as you witness Tzuyu lost her life forever. You realized that you won't be able to hear her soft voice that keeps you awake everyday, her laughs and smile that brightens up your mood, and her presence that got you moving with enthusiasm.

Tzuyu showed the colors in your personality, and now that she's gone, it's like your entire self had gotten back to dull and dark, even worse than before.

Before ofcourse, she was the love of your life, the girl of your admiration, and the only one who makes you feel alive.

It took you time to heal, even halting your investigations against Stryker organization for 3 months before you returned as all the memories with her you revisited had you encouraged that you will bring her the justice she deserves once you figured out that Stryker is still on the roll on unleashing havoc around the campus.

Your words were cut off when you saw that Sally started to cry too, sniffing as she wiped her tears while she stares at Tzuyu's picture. "What's with the tears?"

"I'm sorry... it m-must've been... very tough for you." She said in her shaky voice. "I know because I went the same as yours. It hurts to lost a loved one. Even now I still couldn't wrapped it up in my head that my only sister is gone."

You sprung up your head as you looked at her in astonishment. Sally was staring at you, with her dreadful eyes.

"What did you just said?"

"Tzuyu is my twin sister. My plans of joining your club were true; I wanted you to believe me, but I hope this time it will get you to consider mine," she said as she began to clear her throat to speak out her explanation. You were trying to process it in your head as the thought of Sally being another replica and a depressing resemblance to Tzuyu turns out it wasn't just like that for the entire time as the revelations led to tie up everything to make sense that the reason was that they were indeed connected and related to each other in blood and flesh.

"I was studying at the other university. One day, she went on my room, giving me a favor. She told me about you and this case of hers that she's been solving with you."

"Oh god."

"She asked me to get to know you someday and in case of what happens, I'll be the one who'll replace her." she said as you shivered. "Do you know why she wanted it to happen, YN?

She wanted me to continue taking care of you. She doesn't want you to be alone. She wanted me to keep on protecting you, YN."

You sobbed heavily on the ground as you fell on your knees and covered your face with your palm. Sally kneeled beside you and hugged you tightly while caressing your back.

"I was worried for her, but I knew I couldn't stop her. And so, I accepted her offer because I always want to do what's best for Tzuyu. As long as my sister is happy. And when the tragedy happened, I had no choice but to transfer here, search for you and come here with my face that resembles a lot like Tzuyu, like the girl you admire. I didn't intend to spook you or hurt you further, I shouldn't have played with you more but I already had the culprit in my hands at that given time too.

You think you're the only one in hellbent taking him down, you're not. I wanted to give my sister justice too, and that's why I want to help you. I'm deeply sorry again, YN."

You wiped your tears away as you looked at Sally closely. "Day and night, I still can't forgive myself for what happened. Tzuyu won't be dead because of me. I failed to save her."

"Stop it, YN, Tzuyu didn't want it either to happen, but now it did and it's unstoppable. It hurts but we have to move on and go forward. Do you think Tzuyu would like seeing you drowning in grief and guilt blaming yourself for something that you haven't caused at all?"

She went to comfort you, wrapping you in her arms for a gentle embrace. "For Tzuyu. We will have each other's backs from now on,. Please, move on. It's harder to stay."

You nodded as you sniffed and eased your heavy breathing. "I-I understand now. I'm sorry if I was being too harsh. I just... couldn't stand doing the same mistake again."

"Don't worry, YN. It's been a rough time for you to contain it all. Let it out on me."

You and Sally stayed for a while, holding each other in solace to finally free yourselves together from the burden of grieving Tzuyu's passing.

"So... am I qualified now?" Sally turned to look at you as she joked.

You chuckled as you nodded your head. "Yes."

"Well, finally I did it." Sally released a long sigh. "Thank you and it's nice to meet you properly this time, YN."

"Me too, Sally."

The police finally came, they arrested Stryker and the inspector congratulated the two of you while he tried to convince himself that it wasn't really Tzuyu that he is seeing, but rather her twin sibling.

You and Sally are sitting at the back of the police car, resting as you observed the police team going around the place as part of the investigation.

"Oh, I forgot." Sally reached out to her pocket, revealing your phone. She handed it to you as she opened it, showing your wallpaper of Tzuyu again.

"Thanks."

Sally watched you look at Tzuyu admirably. She smiled at how mellow your eyes went as you traced Tzuyu's features. You truly did loved her sister a lot. She would probably liked it if she witnessed Tzuyu being with you earlier.

"YN.

"What is it?

Sally roams around the pitch black orbs of your eyes, a simple curve formed within her lips. "Tzuyu loves you too. A lot. The way she mentions your name to me and shares her stories being with you, it's pleasantly different."

"Yeah, now I know."You looked at her as your eyes became watery and nodded with a tightlipped smile. "I just wish I had the chance to tell her mine."

"If your fate did, I bet you two will be fun." Sally guessed as she smirked at you.

You lowered your head and smiled sheepishly as you muttered. "Like you wouldn't imagine." "I look forward to get to know you more, YN." Sally stated as she daggered her sight equal to your level then proceeded to playfully bump your shoulder. "So am I, Sally." You patted her head in which she giggled, exactly like Tzuyu would react at your sweet gesture. It did kinda made you miss her again, but it'll take some time for you to completely heal.

You meant what you said. With Sally to accompany you through everything, no instances that she'll leave you staying in the dark anymore, it's confirmed that you'll learn to maintain yourself to be calm and create a closer relationship beside her.

In return, you'll be there for her while she continues what Tzuyu has always desired to do for you.

[sizzal]

Let me be your muse! Villain Kiri X Reader Pt 1!!!!

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º

   It had been 6 years since you moved from Japan back to the U.S. and called it quits after your first year of being a hero. Turns out it wasn’t for you. It was not hard physically but more mentally. You had finished your first year as a hero. Only did one real year in the leagues before you called it off. Breaking up with your high school sweat heart Kirishima the summer before you went off to college to pursue journalism for first-hand heroism and psychology of heroes as well as everything else to do with heroes. You were wildly successful even publishing 4 books before the end of college. You had a bestseller “The Story of Our Scars” out that had hundreds of interviews with heroes and ex-heroes talking about the mental and physical trauma they go through and the hundreds of legal pursuits they go through. 

      Just behind the behind-the-scenes stuff, they don’t tell you about. You had gained popularity due to the scandal of leaving the most desired passion in society to expose it. You felt it was time to move back to all your friends and family that reside in Japan. You wanted to get their stories for a new book you were working on called “Exposing the Misogyny Behind Both Women and Men in the Hero Force.” Toxic beauty standards for both sides. 

When you arrived you had two days to get your apartment ready for your new life. You had several interviews with the most prominent heroes including a handful of your classmates. It was the second day and you had just enough time to go to your favorite flea market before meeting up and spending a good part of the evening together. 

It was a sunny hot day in late June and it was just about to hit a golden hour. Your hair was done up in a half-up style with a tote. You were shopping for the perfect fruit for your fruit sorbet. The crowds were heavy and thick with smoke and people. That’s when you saw him. Standing at 6,3 and 185 lb. A fiery red Maine with black tugging at his roots staring down at a bag of lychee. His big muscles showed through his shirt. His grey dress pants hide a bulge. He goes for his phone taking a picture of the bag before putting it back and walking away. You watched as a sudden mood of sadness washed over you. It was him you high school sweat heart. The one whose heart you broke when you told him you were leaving for college in the U.S. You two shortly split after that summer. Your heart was just as crushed as his. 

You saw him seemingly sift through the large crowds as he walked stopping at another stand this time selling fish. You debated if you wanted to go up to him and start a conversation. It was worth it, right? Letting him know you were back? Plus you couldn’t get ahold of him before coming to ask for an interview. It’s just business, right? 

“Ejirou is that you how are you how have you been?” you said in a cheery tone making sure not to show your fault lines.

He turned around shocked to see you. Memories flooded back within the second. 

He smiled but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was sad and crooked. Guilty almost.

“Y..-Y/N is that you? Omg it is.” He paused for a moment taking in the sight of you and how you had grown.

“You’re just like you were when I put you down all those years ago, Just as breathtaking. I’ve been; good how’s your writing”?

“I love writing and interviewing people and seeing their side of heroism and hows life”

“It's great, you haven't been keeping up with the news much huh”?

“No, I just got here like two days ago, anyway crazy right? Well me and the gang are going to have dinner tonight you should join it’s gonna be a blast. Also, what’s up with the unkept hair new style?” 

“Yeah it’s just a new trend you know I just thought I’d try something new, you cut your hair”

“Yeah, it’s a long story let’s meet up for coffee or something tomorrow and talk we’ll make a day out of it! Hey can I get your number I want to interview for a book I’m writing, It’s about heroes and yada ya,” You said showing an excited grin and smiling profusely.

He gave you an outdated business card and the number no longer worked. You didnt know that of course.

“well I gotta go but I can’t wait for that coffee date, I dream about you sometimes so this is a sight for sore eyes it’s good to see you again y/n,” he said smiling that same sad smile while turning the other way just before you grabbed his arm pulling him back. You stood there thinking about whether or not you do this. “Fuck it right”. You stood up on your tippy toes a hugged him. Engulfed in his warm embrace once again. His soft aura faded into nothing. He pulled away after a few seconds you cupped his cheek gently in your right hand and kissed his cheek before whispering “Te Veo”. An inside joke meaning I see you in Spanish. Meaning I will always see the good in you and that our love will never quiver. 

You both parted ways. A sad realization that maybe the words tattoed on your shoulder were just words in a sea of memories. A forest of scars 

That night you meet up at a local eatery with Bakugou, Mina, Kamanair, and Sero. 

You talked and talked through the night about life and business. The mood was light and fun.

“I wonder when Kirishinma is going to get here I told him where we were all meeting up. You guys are almost all finished with your mains already” you said checking the time. Everyone stopped talking. They all turned to you as they sat shocked at what you had just uttered.

“What about Kirishima now? ” Mina said frightened 

“Wait what the fuck are you talking about, Kirishima,” Sero said kind of pissed

“Yeah I bumped into him today at a flea market and told him to meet us here if he had time,” You said confused as to why they were wearied out.

“Wait do you not know?” Denki said 

“Know what?” their faces went blank. It was confusing and sad.

“He went missing 2 years ago, they say he went mad and started to freak on people in talk shows and interviews. He went all ape shit and turned on the here stuff. He went full villain. Like starting riots selling guns and drugs and attacking hero shelters. Then he just disappeared like that poof and he was gone. The city was in shambles before he went missing. He tried to kill Bakugou” Denki explained. That’s when Baklugou slammed his fist on the table and stormed out like he just hit a soft note. 

“Bakgou wait come back I had to tell her!” Denki yelled after him while chasing him out of the restaurant

“You would have been the first person to see him in 2 years. He started a Muaftsu and is a huge mafia boss now. He hasn’t even left a trace other than a few cryptic messages around the city.”Mina said as she put her hand on your thigh. 

“I’m so sorry Y/n we should have told you you could have been in danger,” Sero said as he called for the check. 

You sat there realizing why he asked If you kept up with the news. You felt stupid and betrayed but also broken, the love of your life is the very thing that you fought so hard against. You left there sad and disheartened. He wasn’t coming for coffee but most importantly the kind loving boy you knew was gone. The man you loved was only now drowning in all this new information. 

You went home that night and got straight into researching. It was all true he killed and rampaged and killed and rioted. That night you went to sleep confused and still processing all this information.  The next few weeks were endless. Drowning you in work unique stories and hard-to-hear hardships. This was the price to pay for the life you gave up. Maybe if I had been here I could have saved him, you often thought. Throughout the week stuff from your apartment started going missing and things would often be misplaced. You thought you had a ghost but like come on we are not in middle school. 

You woke up around 4:47 in the morning to your bedside lamp being turned on and the window open. A big vase with large red flowers is placed delicately by your bed.

“What the fuck?” you could have sworn the lamp was off. Just then you saw a sillowet of a man walking through the shadowy walk-in closet. The flowers laced with the scent of his cologne 

“Move and I’ll kill you a thousand pounds of water in tearing your lungs apart,” you said scared of who was in the shadows beyond.

“I don’t think you want that angel,” The voice said. There was only one voice that could belong to. You stopped in shock. Frozen not computing. He walked out of the shadows showing his tall frame and his long messy hair. You saw him. Finally saw him for who he was. This monster. 

“I know what you are thinking “Oh this monster I can’t even stand to look at him,” he said as he walked toward you sitting on the edge of your bed. You still frozen eyes locked and mind blank,

“I thought I could distance myself from you when you left me in the market but good god can you blame me you were just as perfect as you were when we left each other. But when I saw you After seeing you win at life over and over again I knew I had to have you. I missed you and when you uttered those words to me in the market I lost it. I will never love anyone like I did you” he said as he inched toward you. It was sad seeing him like this. You loved him and always would, but this?

“So you followed me and broke into my house, Eii what the fuck! Just talk to me next time” You said as tears started to pour. It just couldn’t be. This was all too much. He grabbed you and held you close to her heart. His hand stroked your hair and you cried into his chest. The warm smell of his expensive cologne. The beautiful dress shoes and pants he was wearing paired with a white dress shirt. You could hear his heart beating memories. 

“You have been taking my stuff and placing this in different spots to make yourself known. Good god Eii why? I mean I found my pantieds wet with, good who knows , like wtf” you said pushing yourself from him and punching his arm. 

“You fucking asshole,” you said after a minute of silence. 

“God princess you can’t blame me, you were in a rush. You stripped in the middle of the window and god I just could not help myself…. you’re like a lily laced with a powerful toxin and I’m addicted” He said while lifting your chin to meet his eyes with yours. 

You looked away, the somber feeling taking over your mind and body.

“Eii….. they said you went mad, starting riots and sold drugs. Are you really a mafia boss?” You asked as he smiled, it was sweet but it was laced with Rohypnol. 

“It’s true I hated being a hero, when you dropped out and Shinso was almost killed that was when I knew I couldn’t do this anymore, plus the insistent need from the public for info on our lost relationship, I just lost it” He muttered between sighs. His arm reached around you and pulled you next to him. His arms are strong and warm. He has grown and matured although this is just a stage. 

“Wow, so that life is gone now huh? What now a criminal for life?”  I asked a little upset he threw away his only chance.

“Do act so surprised you know when you left me I would end up in some sort of rut” 

“I am just hurt, you could have been a great hero I looked forward to writing about you,” I said quietly. He looked at me his brows furrowed with anger. He turned to me and he had rage written in his eyes.

“How fucking dare you say that, you left just as I did You have no right to say that,” He said pissed. 

“I am a different case,”  you said defensively.

“Like fucking hell you are maybe you didnt go my profession but you left the same opportunity just as I!!!!.” He said standing up and yelling at me infuriated.

“No, I left to prove that this is a terrible job not to sell drugs and guns in organized crime!” you had said that when he let you have it. you don’t remember what he said because you disassociated. He said things like he thought you cared and blah blah blah. You were only brought back from your fear and when he stopped. His face turned and silent sobs wept from his eyes.

“Eiii….. I am so sorry I didnt mean it…… please come here….” you said while going over wrapping yourself around his body cradling him. His face now firmly resting in the crook of your neck.

“Look, I know I can’t change what you did and do, but why did you come here, I mean, If you wanted to stalk me like cool… but why? And why show yourself now?” I asked, utterly confused. He lifted his head up. His face glimmers with a smirk. 

“Oh honey, this is not the reunion you think it is, This is not a cute little get-together or a redemption story, no, no, no,” He said, chuckling. You were baffled. What did he want?

“No angel this is a kidnaping! You’re mine, and I won’t let you get away, not as the fun is about to start. I have watched you for a while, and I know that you're almost done with your book, in fact, it's already published! All they need is a yes. I have taken the liberty of giving them a yes for you. So all the ends are tied and you’re officially quitting your job again.” He said his hands running from your shoulders down to your arms. Oh fuck !!!

“Oh fuck…….” That was all you could say and think. He smiled his smile before leading you to the bed. You are visually shocked. You both sat down as you he talked you through the whole plan. As he was babbling off you thought about how you could kill him or put him unconscious but then as you said that….Clink….. Oh fuck!  

“Yes right about now is the time when you were thinking about killing me? Sorry my pretty I had to.” He told you as you looked at your hands cuffed with a special pair of handcuffs that cut off your quirk. 

“You forget I was there for most of your life. Shit, I mean, I know your whole thought process.” He said while running his hand through his red/black locks. A swirl of shock and undigested emotions flew in a frenzy. You were and are completely utterly fucked. He had thought this out with not so much as a crease in the plan. You had no choice but to obey. 

The next four hours were filled with arguing about what was going to happen and what you wanted to bring to his base. What clothes and items meant the most? What was a must, and what was a dud? He had you literally fucked. You just kinda sat there flabbergasted, letting it happen……..Fuck was the last thing you remembered thinking before the lights went out!

Thank you for reading, please, if you want a part two comment! Love you guys!!!!♥️

[chronosh0t]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ「 ༄៎ .*ೃ 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: male x Lee, canon-divergence? perhaps, explicit content if you squint hard enough, my own commandant (Zenas) because using the same pronouns can be confusing. ㅤㅤㅤ〔NO BETA〕ㅤㅤ MDNI！

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: so, you know the horns? well, now it's the back... you need to read the horns one since it's lowkey a continuation of it.

✂…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Zenas was not having it today. Honestly speaking, he's never having it actually, because every day in Babylonia seemed like hell with all the work he has to do no matter what hour of the day, not to mention dealing with dipshits believing they are some superior beings just for having a “title”.

His anger piling up with each passing second and the lack of proper sleep didn't help, not even a bit. Unfortunately, skipping work wasn't part of his options, considering he had already postponed finishing some maintenance and files. But that didn't mean he couldn't have a few minutes of free time in between and relax a bit in the lounge.

Lee's new frame maintenance was over as well. He was now back to Hyperreal however that means he was also having double the jobs to take care of, as the only frame that could fight directly with the virus without getting infected and corrupted, almost every team in Babylonia wanted him. It was definitely not something Zenas was loving. Lee was his.

So, after working for five minutes, he decided it was time for a well deserved break of an hour. Humming a song he couldn't remember when he heard it first, his legs were taking him to his favourite room, where his favourite construct was now either reading a complicated book about maths just for fun or…working. In any case, Zenas wanted to see him.

Reaching the door, he knocked twice and waited for a response, a calm voice that'd let him in. But nothing came. He went for another two knocks, this time, he added more strength, waited again. Silence. Overly anxious and worried that something might have happened to Lee, he rushed inside. The room was clean and not a single book was out of its place. It was too quiet.

He slowly made his way and there he was. Constructs don't need to sleep, they don't feel tired, but Lee was… sleeping? Or you could say he was in some hibernation mode, he would usually do that when his M.I.N.D was overloaded from working outside, on earth. Sitting on a chair, his arms crossed over the table and his head resting on them. His eyelashes would flicker a little, as if he wanted to wake up but couldn't, blond hair a bit messed up. He looked extremely adorable.

Zenas’ eyes roamed around and stopped at his back. Lee's jacket had a back window cutout, so it was exposed. He could see the details of his frame as well as that blue light coming from specific parts. There was an itching sensation on Zenas' fingers, he wanted to touch. His hand was a few centimetres from Lee's back when he suddenly felt a deja vu. Didn't he do something similar before? Oh, right, how could I forget. Palefire's horn…

He thought, and kept thinking. If Palefire's horn were so sensitive, then what about his back? The more he looked at his back, the more he wanted to try and test his theory. Might as well risk it all if it means he would get a similar reaction. So, not restraining himself, Zenas let his mind go free and his hand rested on Lee's back. Fingertips tracing every single line with a delicacy he never had before for anyone else.

There was no reaction, probably because Lee was in that state but when he was already thinking of retracting his hand a soft moan filled the room. Zenas' hand stopped, and then moved his finger again. Another moan. He was smiling, as expected, his back was also sensitive and that single thought started to consume his sanity and left nothing but desire to keep teasing the blond Construct.

ㅤㅤㅤ“What do you think you're doing?”

The voice startled him, Lee was awake, and he was fucking angry.

ㅤㅤㅤ“Fucking hell, you scared the shit out of me.” Zenas answered, giggling at the situation. Because yes, Lee was angry but he also knew the boy would never do anything to him, and if Zenas was brutally honest, Lee looked hot.

ㅤㅤㅤ“You didn't answer my question.” he said, standing from the chair and taking some distance by walking a bit further away from the human, his hands already tapping on a screen.

ㅤㅤㅤ“You're sensitive all over. Just wanted to tease you.”

Denying it was stupid. Besides, he knew Lee very well, and he was completely sure the boy was flustered as hell because he would always resort to work and focus on whatever is in front of him in order to avoid eye contact. That's what he was going now, looking away, pretending to be focused on something else and ignoring Zenas' presence in the room.

But Lee was too fully aware. His cheeks were red and he hated himself for being so damn weak. Zenas was shortening the distance between them, there was nowhere to run or hide, Lee's mechanical heart was beating way too fast for his own good.

He felt shivers the moment the human's fingers touched his back again. Tracing in circles and Lee couldn't avoid remembering that day when he was messing around with Palefire's horn, how he was touching him, how Lee reacted to that and what he said before leaving. No amount of cold water could've subdued the heat climbing up to his body.

ㅤㅤㅤ“Are you thinking about that day?” Zenas whispered in his ears, soft lips touching him, that familiar voice reverberated inside of him, echoing and leaving marks. He gripped tightly the pen he was writing some reports and broke it in pieces.

ㅤㅤㅤ“Shall we continue, babe?” Zenas said, keeping one of his hands on Lee's back, while the other was going into places Lee wished he didn't have.

The human's body was hot, pressed against Lee and the latter was losing it. He could feel his pulse reaching a speed he never experienced, not even when fighting the most difficult and dangerous ascendant out there. It was hard to keep his voice down, especially when Zenas was leaving pepper kisses all over his neck, ears, and one of his hands playfully touching his inner thighs.

Zenas was a bit impatient but he didn't want to rush anything, it was really difficult to hold himself back. He grabbed Lee by his waist and forced him to face him. Eyes locked, the Construct's eyes had tears formed already, his cheeks tinted of the brightest red, parted lips and soft pink marks on his neck. It was an amazing sight indeed. Zenas lowered his body a bit, and in the blink of an eye Lee was sitting on the desk with Zenas between his legs. The light kisses from before were now more aggressive, tongue tracing every single tooth. Muffled moans coming out of Lee, both of his hands firmly grasping Zenas' hair and his legs wrapped around the human's waist.

It was too hot. Lee felt like his frame and M.I.N.D were about to explode due to the excessive heat he was feeling. But he didn't want Zenas to stop. He didn't care if others could hear them, he didn't care if he was losing his cool. Right now he just wanted to get fucked by his favourite human.

────────────── ❁ ──────────────

〔 🎐 〕... 𝚜𝚘, 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 𝚋𝚞𝚝, 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢, 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚒𝚗 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕.

〔 🎐 〕 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙿𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚗(𝚢). 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚠𝚔𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠.

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

Yet another OC introduction post !!! The olba ones will have their dolls for all 4 steps bc I haven't decided on future looks for Freya and Trixie-

ANYWAYZ-

Aurora King !! She is part of my main Baxter line- There's a LOT of posts ab her on my blog with more info, but here's like a basic (?) rundown.

Step one Aurora is (like every version of her), very emotionally driven. She has always drawn her inspiration from fairytails, prefering to stay inside whenever the others go to the beach due to her hatred of sand. She has the nervous preset, and though others call her shy, she's really just cautious and soft-spoken. She gets attached to Cove because he's also quiet, and she thinks he's a lot nicer than he first appears, like some of the people in her stories.

She's willing to put up with the beach for him, enjoying his ideas about mermaids and other mythical possibilities below the waves. She also really likes Shiloh, though she's upset that he always seems to like Lizzie more, when Lizzie isn't even nice all the time like she is. (No offense of course, she adores her sister.)

She has sensory issues, making some things harder than necessary, like the fireworks moment. She thinks rules are important, and though Cove has a bit of a bad influence on her, she mostly sticks to that, keeping close to her moms and sister.

Above all else, she is determined that she can be just as happy as the princesses in her books- She just has to believe.

Step Two pushes her idealism to a hard point. Life was so great, she doesn't understand what went wrong. It's like suddenly her moms are too busy for her, her sister HATES her, and Cove isn't exactly the easiest to talk to. Not that she would want to bother her best friend with something silly like that, though.

She pretends, mostly. Smiles at her mothers and waves happily as her sister ignores her attempts at hanging out for the nth day in a row. She knows now that this anxiety- This knawing feeling in her gut clawing at the back of her throat won't go away. Her meds help, but she's having trouble coping with it. The first time Cove sneaks into her bedroom window, she almost pushes him back OUT in her panic.

She likes Derek a lot- He seems a lot like her, optimistic and loving and just kind in a way she admires. She's not oblivious, she notices the way he treats her compared to Cove. For a bit, she thinks this might be the fairytale she's been wishing for, but they're both so unsure about themselves, and the moment passes.

She enjoys going outside more due to Cove constantly dragging her to the beach, but she swears if he wakes her up before at LEAST 10 one more time, he's getting locked out. She copes with the sand by stubbornly wearing thick stockings under her dresses, insisting she isn't suffering in the california heat.

And then there's another boy- One filled with the same hatred of the world and scorn towards others that Cove had, and he makes Aurora smile. She's done this once before, she wants to help him too. He refuses, but she stays consistent, offering him reassurance until he's walking out of her life.

Life is hard when you're 13- she thinks -but the storybooks always have happy endings.

Alright, she's about done with the waiting now. Highschool flew by easily, and she displays her acomplishments with pride. She's also finished the rough draft of her first official book- The Obsidian Crown.

She's going to college, something that both excites and scares her. It might not be far to most people (a six hour drive north, still in California), but the thought of being that far from the only place she's known makes her feel nauseous.

But she did it- She made it to the age where anything is supposed to be possible. This summer is about celebration and looking forward instead of back.

Of course, life is never that simple.

Whatever forces exist beyond her have apparently decided to take the phrase 'Small World' to the extreme. She has her sister back, which makes her happier than her 13 year old self would've expected. She has Shiloh, who makes her feel bittersweet, but in coming back into her life brought Jeremy back with him.

Aurora latches onto Jeremy immediately, declaring their reunion an act of fate. ("We have the same last name, we're basically siblings!") She calls him almost weekly, insisting that being forced to talk about his day is good for him. His reaction the first time she introduced him to Terry and Miranda over video call as her brother is the most emotion she's ever seen from him, even if it was negative.

Then, to her astonishment, there's Baxter. Her panic fires up when the mystery prince from the dance recognizes her, but she somehow manages to not lose her breakfast on the sidewalk. Cove teases her relentlessly, disappoving in the nicest way he can when the two start dating. At one point, Aurora gifts him the handwritten copy of her book. He requests she sign it, which she does, although embarrassed.

Aurora is happy. She has her big sister, she has her little brother, even if he likes to pretend they don't know each other. Her friends, her parents, her prince. Her story is almost at its happily ever after.

Until it isn't.

She had tried to ignore Baxter's promise of only being with her for the summer. It didn't fit into her fairytale idealism. So it manages to catch her off guard when he dumps her. She leaves him at his door, turning and going not home but to Cove. Cove comforts her in whatever ways he knows how, and looking back, she would say he did a damn good job. But she was vulnerable, and Cove has always had a habit of resorting to humour, so she should've seen it coming when he points out that he said it was a bad idea to get involved with the victorian emo nightmare.

It's the only time she ever actually hit someone.

In the end it's Miranda who gets her out of her room, convincing her to eat and wash her hair after days of surviving off the snacks stashed in her desk.

She turns back to her stories, using her experiences as inspiration for her next two books: "A Still Ocean" and "Shattered Silence: A Poetry Collection".

She goes to her brothers graduation, giggling at the way his face goes red and he makes a quick exit, making sure to stay as far away from her as possible. She meets his best friend- Pran is a nice girl, she thinks, she just needs time.

She gives up dancing- It reminded her of him too much.

She goes to college, where she meets a girl who also had the displeasure of knowing Baxter, and the two laugh, comparing old pictures of him and confirming his fashion sense has never been any less funny.

She smiles, and for now, she decides, that's enough.

The summer of 2021 is... eventful to say the least.

June brings her back to the city, where Derek is, smiles and all. It brings his brothers, who look as adorable as ever. It brings his parents, who fawn over her as if she's one of their own.

July... brings Baxter. It brings heartbreak and anger and messages never sent. It brings the discovery that not only does Baxter STILL HAVE the handwritten draft she gave him, but every other book she's published- Lined up on a shelf in Baxter's apartment that he rushes to explain away. It brings tears. It brings dances years too late. It brings forgivess. It brings NEW promises- Ones to stay in touch, to talk, to tell the truth. To love. It brings another disapproving look from Cove that she sees melt away as he watches them dance.

August brings resolution. It brings her family together. It brings jumping onto Cove out of a taxi, making fun of the fact that he never seems to stop getting taller. It brings Lizzie, who pretends to not know how Shiloh is doing even though Aurora definitely saw a text from him on her sisters' phone. It brings a cool wind, a promise of colder weather to come.

It brings an end, and a beginning.