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resetting37 · 7 months ago

Note

🌻🌿🌲 for oc game, choose three ocs!!

thank you !!

16 oc questions

let's choose heidi, ian, and theo !

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Heidi has soooo much she wants to tell her younger self. "Take the art history course instead of economics" "Apply for an early internship instead of a barista job" "Do not give Whitney your contact info" etc. etc. As for the advice she needs now, maybe be a little patient. Sometimes stories happen naturally, and the ones she desperately seeks don't lead to anything interesting.

Ian would tell his younger self to take more advantage of his position. As a small kid he wasn't the son of an empress yet, but he still could have gotten away with some snooping and exploring. In fact, Ian would want to tell his younger self to specifically seek out certain pictures or documents and store them somewhere safe so his future self could find use to them. Current Ian needs to be told the scariest tales happen right beneath his feet but don't worry, he's going to find that out soon enough :-3

Theo would just remind his younger self that there's no shame in being quiet, he'll learn to eventually embrace it. Idk what current Theo could be told that would be useful. Maybe to remember to pack extra camera film ? He's missed out on some good footage in the past because of that.

noted !

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

Heidi hates that she's not "successful", and while she blames her lack of experience, she also worries she just doesn't have what it takes. but also that ties in with the lies about herself. She's not unsuccessful in her journalism, she's still in her early twenties and hasn't cracked a big case yet, no big deal ! She loves that she's persistent, and that she sees through the lies of the city of Evelow. Sure, it makes her mad, but a hell of a lot better than being clueless.

Ian doesn't dabble too much in self loathing, but I do think he's sometimes insecure about how he turned out given he's the son of the empress. (But I think he's more so critical of the position of his mom, like she didn't have to go and do all that, come on now...) As far as lies, he accepts criticism he faces as being an unsuccessful heir to his mother's reputation. Ian is like "sure idgaf I'm just chilling and having fun" sometimes, but he needs to give himself more credit, as he's smarter and more passionate about his work than he lets on. He loves his horror novel collection, but besides material things, Ian likes that he at least makes an attempt to get along with everyone.

Despite Theo wanting to tell their past self that being shy is okay, they still wish they spoke up more. Theo I don't think Theo has much of a reputation, therefore there aren't any lies for them to believe ? That beside the ones they believe about themself, in that being quiet is a flaw.

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

Kindest thing Heidi has done is admit her fault recognize that lack of criticism isn't a substitute for a compliment, so when she started to compliment others it came as a welcome surprise. I'm not sure if there's a specific action/interaction, but the nicest moment to her was when her big story on the "Ellocast Project" (aka some in-universe lore) got a lot of attention. I guess the nice aspects come from the help she got in uncovering information.

Heidi actually isn't as bad as her deadpan face indicates, but she has been more hurtful than she meant to be, and it's especially a gut punch when its a fight with a friend. I imagine she had one heated argument and said some mean things that felt more honest from an observant person like Heidi.

Kindest thing Ian has done was something I'd imagine an older version of him doing, which is being more active in the city's community, whether it be teacher assisting or putting up education projects. He always loved "talking to others about things" so I'd like to think that would continue as he grew older. Nicest thing someone has done for him was sell the original records of the first sighting of the wailing swallows (more in-universe lore) at a very good price.

worst thing Ian has done to someone is hard to decide. He's never intentionally mean, but I'm thinking he may have accidentally exposed an anonymous identity on his radio show and got that person in trouble.

Ian: "And with us today is an eye witness of the incident, and turns out it's an employee of the institution itself ! Please welcome Pollux Wynn ! ... Or is it Dr. Wynn ?

*Other side of line falls silent*

Ian: "...hello ?"

Theo always goes out of his way to do nice things, I'd say the nicest thing was to wake up at 2am because his best friend Heidi calls him saying she uncovered an entrance into an out-of-commission courthouse and insists the morning would be too late. Theo didn't even ask Heidi to owe him one after getting up out of bed at that time. Nicest thing done for him was when someone anonymously covered his meal at his local diner. Though as nice as this was, it did leave Theo a little upset he couldn't return the favor lmao

Worst thing Theo has done towards someone else was break into someone's house. Look, most of the place Theo's going into aren't residential or are abandoned, but he did learn there's still thriving communities in the edges of Evelow. whoops !

#oc talk #heidi #ian #theo

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animeyanderelover · 4 years ago

Text

Requested from @girliesanjose123

Request: Can I have prompt 68 with Indra Otsutsuki in a soulmate AU?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, harsh behavior, controlling behavior, kidnapping, violence, abuse

Prompt 68: “You’re all I think about. I always think about holding you, kissing you, touching you, making love to you, breeding you...”

"Don't even think about it." You flinched when you heard his cold and voice ringing through the cold air of the night, a wonderful addition to his icy tone. Just as quickly as your eyes had wandered to the forest and the idea of trying to make a run for it as soon as he was asleep, the idea left you again. Instead you just turned around, staring with a scared look in your eyes at the dancing bonfire. "I'm sorry. I won't think about it again.", you muttered quickly out, a habit you had formed due to past experiences with him.

You heard something akin to a dismissing hum from him before ot became silent between you two, the only thing that made this all not too suffocating or awkward were the random noises of the night, the crackling sounds of the fire and the swooshing created by the wind. It wasn't the first time that you two just sat there like this, not speaking to each other. You because you were too intimidated and had no idea on about what you could possibly talk about with him and him because he wasn't the very talkative type. And forcing him into a conversation wasn't very wise either, he got quickly annoyed with you.

Up until this day you had troubles believing that he was really the one you had been born to be with, your soulmate. And yet his name had been engraved on your wrist since your thirteenth year of life, written down in black letters without a chance to ever erase it again. Just like your name was written down on his wrist, he had never told you since when. The most detailed answer you had gotten from him had been that he had the mark on him since quite the long time.

Soulmates were totally romanticized in your opinion even though you understood to a very small degree why people wished to have a soulmate as well. The idea of having someone who was born to be with you and would experience something that could only be described with love at first sight was tempting to imagine. But sadly the dark side of having a soulmate was overshadowed, pushed away since people only wanted to see and hear what added up to the dream relationship in their mind.

There was no other choice than this one person who was your other half, not even if you fell for someone who seemed to fit you much more perfect. This was one of the most common misunderstandings people had about soulmates. They thought they were perfect for each other and loved each other conditionally. It was a lie. You had informed yourself, read a lot of reports and letters about it, even from people who had themselves a soulmate. And in more than a few people had described that their soulmate had been nothing near perfect, they had been lazy, selfish, mean and so much more. Some had even described how their soulmate had cheated even after they had met each other which had ended in a terrible heartbreak for both parts.

Having a soulmate didn't have to mean that they loved you as well, but once this happened, it ended in a terrible pain and depression for both parties and some had even said to die because of a broken heart. What a ridiculous thing to exist. Why would have a innocent who had done nothing wrong suffer because their soulmate had to be a dick without knowing each other even that well except the sudden attraction to each other and the knowledge that they were your soulmate?

So you had never been exactly happy when receiving that mark of yours, but everyone else around you had seemed to make a huge fuss about it. Friends and classmates had envied you for it and your neighbors had started almost gushing about the name written down on your wrist, starting to talk to you about how happy you must be to have one and how cute you would look together with them. You hadn't, but with that opinion you had been sadly alone. Even your parents had sugarcoated it, maybe because they were scared what might happen to you and this Indra if you would reject them.

But you had been completely right and you could bet that everyone in the village had sobered by now up from their delusions. If he would have kidnapped you silently, they would have assumed that you might have gone with him. But you hadn't. Instead you had tried to run away from him after only a few hours of knowing him. And you still remembered how the protests and comments to try to calm you down had died down the moment Indra had started demolishing everything in his way to catch you.

You didn't know until this day what had become of all the people in the village and if some of them were even alive. You hadn't seen much, but the short glances on the place that had used to be your home once had been enough to horrify you before you had passed out after looking in red eyes with three dots spinning inside of them.

You had by now given up asking to see your family again, every begging and pleading had been harshly and coldly shut down by him that by now you had pretty much lost all hopes. You had also given up on cursing whoever had decided to set you two up, there was nothing you could do and you had sadly no one to blame for this either, leading you to wallowing in self-pity.

The most frustrating was that you knew so little about him. He had never told you much and you had long ago lost the guts to ask him. You knew he was from far away, had left due to family issues and was planning to prove something. That was about all you knew about him next to his name and that he was insanely powerful. He could be a mass murder and you wouldn't kno. He on the other hand had wanted to know about everything about you and had forced it out of you. Well, maybe he would become more open over time. He wasn't someone who seemed to warm up quickly to a stranger.

That was probably why he was so distant and cold to you most of the time next to being very strict and controlling. He striked you as someone who viewed love and attraction as a weakness, but still seemed to be sane enough to know what would happen if he would have left you behind back then when he had met you for the first time. You had read that soulmates had gone crazy for their other half after meeting them and having to endure a longer time not touching them.

He was smart enough to fulfill those needs of his which sadly also fulfilled your needs. He hadn't engaged in anything too sexual so far, but even those forced touches of his had been enough to make you feel repulsed and yet also had pulled you closer to him. You blamed the soulmate bond for it. You knew too well that you would most likely not be able to stay like this forever, being already sometimes torn apart between your huge dislike for him and the always remaining attaction for him, the butterflies you felt whenever he seemed to become more nice and softer with you.

It was frustrating enough to make you feel like crying sometimes, you hadn't want any of this, but life had to be a bitch and decide to make him from all people in this world your soulmate. You just wished you had never been born with a soulmate or at the very least never met him. You hated how you always felt a painful stinging in your chest when he ignored you or hissed angrily at you.

You knew he had to feel the same, he had to suffer when avoiding you as well. But he was far more better in handling and hiding it than you were which was another rather hurting and harsh slap in your face. Didn't he care at all? You really just thought he was, the only reason he kept you around was because he didn't want to endure the full package of pain that came with just leaving your soulmate alone. He was just too hard to read.

And yet there were those moments where you almost got the feeling he was seeking for your touches and some sort of affirmation of you, only to push you moments later away from him and look like he had no idea what he had just done either. Such moments confused you greatly and seemed to irritate him just as much. So at the very least he seemed to slowly get pulled to you as well. Was this actually a thing to be glad or terrified over?

"Are you sulking again over the fact that we're soulmates?" His voice brought you out of your thoughtful gaze, noticing with a slight shiver that he was staring at you. You guessed you had stared too long at the mark on your wrist. You didn't know how to answer this, feeling scared that the wrong answer might lead to him getting angry again. You had learned to be careful around him, you felt most of the times like you were walking on eggshells whenever with him.

You opened your mouth shortly, only to close it again after not finding the strength to do as much as uttering a single word out. You had nothing to say if you were honest with yourself. "You're not going to answer me?"

Indra had shifted slightly closer to you, eyes drilling themselves into you with a piercing intensity. He hadn't activated them yet so that meant you were still in a green zone with him, he always activated them when he was pissed off because of something. A short glance at him made you almost believe that he seemed to display genuine curiosity right now.

You hesitated for a bit, not knowing whether to be honest with him or not. Lying was always an option, but a rather stupid one, he noticed always when you lied to him and he disliked it when you lied. "Yes, I am.", you answered for a few seconds of thick silence passing by, observing cautiously his reaction.

You had expected him to either not care or just becoming mad with you, but instead you always imagined for a second something akin to exhaustion flashing over his face. But it was so quickly gone that you weren't even sure if it had been there in the first place. But it had awakened some sort of interest in him, judging from the way his attention was now hooked on you. It made you tense up, playing with your fingers awkwardly.

"You know, I never asked you this before...But what do you think of me? Be honest." This question always made you choke on your own spit, gaping dumbfounded and majorly confused at him. His face gave no emotion away he could possibly feel right now. But from the way he was looking at you, you knew that he expeted an answer, a honest one, from you.

"You're not...what I expected." It was the only true yet subtle enough statement you could think off without saying anything that could offend him too openly.

It didn't seem to satisfy him though, he furrowed his eyebrows slightly at this very vague answer of yours. "Be more specific. I want to know."

If you would tell him, he would be angry with you, you were almost certain about it. Shouldn't it have been obvious from the way you were acting around him that you didn't like him? He couldn't be that oblivious. So if he already knew, why asking? Did he perhaps want to hear it from you personally?

"You're kind of...distant..." It sounded more like a question and you said it extremely slowly, unsureness dripping from every word. You kept by now an eye on Indra so you could react when he seemed to get offended by what you said. But at the moment he appeared to be calm, just listening and watching. "Continue."

"Well, if I'm being honest I feel a bit neglected from you. You're hard to read and I can't seem to understand what you sometimes even want from me. There are those moments where you treat me like I'm just air or some sort of dog you have to punish for bad behavior. And in other moments you are suddenly being all nice and friendly with me and almost act like you care before you snap out of it again and lash out on me. You're a bit confusing to be with and I just feel like you can't stand me at all since I make you acting like this. So emotionally."

There were quite a lot of unspoken things you could have added, but that would have taken a while and were far more offendingly than what you had put in words as politely as possible and told him just now.

He didn’t say anything which you just counted as a good thing, it meant he wasn’t mad at you...At least yet. Who knew with him and his temper. “So I take it that you don’t like me, do you?”

You quirked yourself eyebrow a few millimeters upon hearing the undertone in his voice, scanning his face. He was not angry, you could tell. It was something else right now for which you needed a few moments to look at before you suddenly understood. Was he...Was he poking fun at you?!

This made you stop thinking for a moment, you had in those past few weeks never seen him displaying many emotions except anger, impatience and from time to time those nearly desperate acts of affection. But never, never had you seen him being amused, you had thought that he had been annoyed by all of this. But now he looked like he was almost about to grin which irritated you. Why was he being entertained all of a sudden? You felt a flicker of annoyance and slight anger shooting through you, making you frown a bit.

“No, of course I like you. Why wouldn’t I like my soulmate who kidnapped me, ruined my village and life and treats me like I’m a piece of shit? I’m happy to be ignored and neglected from my soulmate who seems to not like me at all.” You could not help the sarcasm dripping from your voice whilst watching him through narrowed eyes. The last sentence from you was half the truth and half a lie. You were content with him not acknowledging your presence, it saved you from his outbursts or forced affections. On the other hand it also led you to feeling a often a tingling pain of abandonment in your chest which you didn’t like at all. You could only curse at the connection you shared with Indra. You loathed it.

You heard him scoffing, his expression telling you that he was surprised, luckily not too negatively, by your sudden attitude. “You feel neglected?”, he asked you, giving you a somewhat mischievous look which made you even more irritated. “So you want me to give you more affection? Is that it?”

You didn’t like how close he had shifted to you, it made you uncomfortable and you refused to acknowledge the happy and warm tingling this sudden closeness seemed to cause in your body. “Tell me,”, he asked in a deeper voice,”do you think I hate you and you me?”

Against your will you felt your face heating up and your heartbeat increasing, staring almost hypnotized in those deep and black orbs of his in which you, for the first time since he had abducted you, saw the sparkles of emotions. Had they always been there? Granted, it was your first time looking him so directly in his eyes.

“I-I-umm...” That was about how you sounded right now, slapping yourself mentally out of embarrassment. Why were you all of a sudden so bashful? No, you refused to let him win this. You took a deep and shaky breath to come back to your senses. “Give me a reason to not think you would hate me despite those short moments where you fulfill the basic needs every soulmate feels when with his other half. And why wouldn’t I hate you?! You dragged me in this whole mess and because of you I-“

You were forcefully silenced in a way that made your heart nearly jump out of your chest. He kissed you, surprisingly warm lips moving in a firm way against yours. And you really should have done something against it. But the moment you felt his lips against yours for the first time since you had seen him, it was like a bomb exploded in your head and all of a sudden everything inside of you seemed to slow wonderfully down, no numb stinging, no unnecessary thoughts, only you and him.

Just for a short moment you seemed to forget what he had done, letting the overwhelming feelings of the special bond between you two get the better of you. And all of a sudden you found your arms around his neck, your body screaming to be closer to him. This didn’t go unnoticed by him and you felt something that would have been a smirk if your lips wouldn’t have affectionate-starved moved against his own. At the very least he seemed to share the same hunger for touches from you like the other way around because you felt his arms suddenly sliding around you and lifting you with surprisingly much carefulness yet also eagerness closer to him, chest pressed against chest so that you two could feel each other’s heartbeat beating in sync. It was such a blissful experience for you, suddenly having so much intimacy with the man who had refused to give you what you had always wanted despite refusing to admit so.

You almost whined when he suddenly pulled away, probably because he had realized that you were running short on air which you hadn’t even realized until you panted quickly for air, body still refusing to leave his sudden embrace.

“Are you sure that you hate me? Your actions just right now seemed to tell the opposite.” He himself seemed to be out of air, you hearing his slight panting, warm air hitting your neck and causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

You felt shame washing over you the moment you heard his questions, refusing to look him into his eyes. Your lips had pressed into an angry line, the feeling of his mouth on yours still lingering and you cussed yourself when catching yourself wishing to just slam your lips against his once again.

“What was that for right now? Did you want to torture me by showing me how pathetic this rebellious act of mine really is?” Your voice was a hushed hissing, but the bitterness laced in it was clearly audible.

“That was one of the reasons, though not the main one.” You gnashed your teeth when hearing the smugness in his voice, obviously content with what he had just seen and felt. But you also found yourself being once again confused. Not the main one? What was that supposed to mean?

You didn’t even have to ask this, he answered it without you even having to question him. “I don’t hate you. Much more on the contrary. You’re all I think about. I always think about holding you, kissing you, touching you, making love to you, breeding you...”

You felt a disturbing feeling starting to make it’s way up your throat, forming a lump on which you almost choked. By now his eyes seemed to blaze with a sudden storm of emotion which could be put together in a few simple yet terrifying words. Twisted and sick obsession.

“You will love me. You have no choice, but to do so. You can try to neglect your feelings for as long as you want, I can guarantee you that I’ll make sure that you’ll melt in my touches. We’re soulmates (y/n). You’ll come around sooner or later.”

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere indra #yandere indra otsutsuki

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theglitterypages · 3 years ago

Text

Title: Sweetheart Part 2

Pairings: Armin x fem! reader

Part One

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2000+

••••••

“Fix your postures!” you commanded, your hands are on your back as you walk in front of the Cadets. Levi stood behind you with a smirk on his face, he's been a little gentle with the Cadets these days but now that you're back to kick ass with him this would be so fun.

“Kirstein! Straighten up your back!”

Jean immediately obeyed while Connie was staring at you with wide eyes, this was not how they remembered you few days ago, you were soft spoken then, all sweet and all smiles but now they are seeing the tigress that Levi was talking about.

Levi was even more gentle in handling them because Levi rarely shouts yet his words carries heavy emotions but you, you can do both.

“She's the sister of the commander that's why she has the guts but I bet she's all cry and whine if she faced a Titan.”

You have a good sense of hearing and you heard what the Cadet has said about you, it wasn't the first time that someone underestimated you because of your gender and because you're Erwin's sister, it's one of the stereotypes, you don't actually mind but what you heard next took every single strand of patience inside you.

“Bet she's a good screamer in bed.”

Levi balled his hand into a fist, he may call you brat and have endless argumentd with you but he treats you like a sister and hearing the Cadets say those filthy words to you makes his blood boil but then when he saw how you tilted your head in both sides and how your eyes went blank he already knew that you can handle it yourself, you're not a simple girl after all so he let you do what you want.

Your eyes wandered around the Cadets, you were hurt by those comments, you hated being looked down just because they think you had it easy because of your brother when in fact you almost die a lot of times in the past and those wounds from Titan attacks heals in time but those words that serves as daggers stabbing your heart won't.

After a minute of searching you found the pair that you heard, the two men were standing beside Armin Arlert, it would've been a great view if the assholes weren't standing beside him, Armin Arlert's face screams peace, those blue eyes are calming.

“I bet she's been sleeping with the Captain.”

That was the last straw, Armin immediately threw hard punches towards the two guys who are both taller, and probably a couple of years older than him, he had enough of their dirty mouths, he knew that he's not suppose to do that but he couldn't stand them talking shits about you like that, his knuckles got red because of the impact and when he looked down at the two fellow Cadets, both their nose were broken as they lay flat on the ground.

Levi was shocked to see Armin straight up punch his fellow Cadets but he secretly smiled, he knew that the kid is promising. Everybody just need a little push to unleash their demons, seems like Armin Arlert has been unleashed just now.

Eren and Mikasa immediately went beside Armin to put a hand on his shoulders trying to calm him down silently, the blonde teen was heavily breathing, “I was taught by my grandfather to treat women right, you don't talk dirty shits about them like that, respect a woman the way you respect your Mother.” Armin growled through gritted teeth, he's surprised of the damage that he had done to the two men, those broken and bleeding nose gives him some sort of satisfaction but as he tore his blue eyes away from the two, he met your eyes.

You were frozen on your position, you were planning to do punch them first but Armin's action made you stop, you see the blonde guy as a soft one, the type of person who wouldn't even dare hurt a fly but here he is proving that he knows how to throw a good punch, when your gaze met, the anger on his eyes vanished, his face softened as his cheeks turned bright red including both of his ears.

With a small smile you made your way towards them, Connie, Jean and Sasha were standing behind Armin now too, checking up on him, you've deduced that he's like the baby in the group, suits him, he does look like a baby.

You looked down at the Cadets lying on the floor and grabbed their collars so you could lift them off the ground.

Everybody gasped at your action but no one dared to interfere. “I would love to have you two on our squad next expedition but we're the one leading the whole team which means...we're the first one to encounter titans and if we're unfortunate we'll be the first ones to get eaten too. I'll show you how I cry in front of the Titans then.” you let go both of their collars and let them land butt first on the ground.

You turned to Armin and smiled at him genuinely, “I appreciate your efforts for breaking their nose for me, Cadet. Thank you.” you smiled as you pat his head, Armin looked up at you with a smile, his cheeks flaming red, “It's natural human decency, M-Ma'am. No need to thank me.” you smiled at him and pursed your lips before walking away so you could go back to the center of the scouts.

“Captain Levi would take over now.”

Levi stood beside you and the Scouts saluted at him, “Take care of some written reports for me, brat.” he ordered and you nodded as a response as you walked away from the training grounds but before you could even went further, you heard grunts and gasps behind you.

You saw how the sole of Levi's boots collided with the face of the Cadets, you winced and bit your lower lip as you see how Levi kicked them hard.

“I'll make sure you two would learn how to respect your superiors now and women in general.”

You started to feel bad because you're damn sure their jaws would be dislocated because of Levi's signature kick but you remembered that they're assholes and they deserved it so you proceeded to go on and take care of the written reports instead of watching their ass get beaten.

°°°°

It was already dark when you've decided to take a walk to try and breathe some fresh air, you looked up at the dark sky, the moon was shining brightly.

Your eyes settled on the mysterious moon, you've always been fascinated of the moon, when you were a kid you often cry to tell Erwin that the moon is a creep because it keeps on following you, your brother would always hold back his laughter and would assure you that he'll protect you from the moon.

A part of you wishes that you two should've stayed as kids then, your brother has been seeking to find out the truth and as he gets closer to that truth, you're slowly losing him. You immediately wiped a tear away, you should just be happy for your brother and make sure he'll be safe, that would be enough.

You lifted your arms towards the sky as if reaching the moon, it is beautiful yet awfully frightening but the stars cast out those fears, as the stars shine brightly in the night sky you felt at ease and you smiled to yourself before putting your hands back to your pocket. It's getting colder now.

The cold wind embraced your whole and you shivered strands of your hair escaped from your messy hair bun. When the cold was too much for you to handle, wearing thin clothes is not a wise decision so you've decided to go back inside just to hear a hissing nearby, if you're right the hissing comes from the tree nearby.

Out of curiosity you slowly made your way towards the tree, you just silently prayed that it's not Cadets that are making out outside because you've witness a pair making out behind trees before and you wouldn't want it to happen again.

But as you got closer to the tree you confirmed that it wasn't a couple doing something nasty outside, it is an angel silently sitting down.

“Aren't you suppose to be sleeping by this time now?”

Armin's eyes widened as his head snapped on your direction, his mouth gaped open as while his brows raised in surprise. "I c-can't sleep Ma'am.” he stammered and looked away from you, not that he doesn't want to see you, it's just that the thin material that you're wearing is revealing your cleavage. He had to gulp and remind himself that it's not appropriate to look at women like that.

“Mind if I sit down beside you? I couldn't sleep either.”

“I-I don't really mind.”

When your arms accidentally brushed, Armin wanted to flinch but he didn't because he wouldn't want to offend you and when you looked at him you can still see how red his cheeks were even if it's dark. “Thank you for what you did, earlier. I don't really mind such comments anymore, it wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be my last either.” you chuckled bitterly, you've worked hard to be a skilled fighter so you could prove to everyone that you're not a woman living as your brother's shadows.

But sometimes life is fucked up, actually most of the time it is fucked up.

“You should inform Commander Erwin about it. I mean they're crossing the line, they're talking as if they know you.”

“How about you, do you know me?”

“It feels like...I do.” he silently whispered as he looked down on his hands, you followed his gaze and your mout gaped open when you saw that there's a bandage covering his knuckles. “By the walls, Armin...w-what happened? You shouldn't have done it, I could've taken care of them myself.” you grabbed his hand and examined it, not that you can see through those bandages but you just feel like doing so.

Armin could've taken away his hands from you but he didn't, feeling your soft skin against his is comforting, he's forgotten that he shed a tear when Mikasa put those bandages around his knuckles, he didn't break any bone but it's red and sore, he's not really cut out for scenarios like that but it was worth it because he was able to defend you at some way, in the little way that he could.

“It's just sore. I'm not really good at punching, you know. I used to get beaten up as a kid, they'll steal my food and Eren and Mikasa would come to rescue me but now, I finally...I finally get to do something for someone.”

“Why didn't you fight back before?”

“Because I can't and I'm not as brave. You know, when I came face to face with a Titan, I—I was frozen. Eren got eaten and it was fortunate that he's alive.”

You didn't notice that you stared caressing his knuckles as you listened but it seems ljke he doesn't notice too so you let it be, “But look at you now, I've heard from Erwin that you're a smart one. You've figured out who is the female titan right?” Armin looked at you and his blue eyes widened in shock as he saw how close you two were.

He knew that in one wrong move he can finally know how would it feel to have your lips press against his, if he'll move his head forward maybe he can feel how soft those lips are.

But he stayed back, he respects you. He's attracted to you but he knows his boundaries, his grandfather told him to grow up as a gentleman and all that and he thinks of Mikasa, if Mikasa would be treated so inappropriate by a man he wouldn't like that, he wouldn't like that to happen to his sister.

That's why he would behave himself around you and he'll choose to be contented of just staring at you, it's more than enough.

“W-Well it was a gamble and I was already late...it was—”

You kissed his cheek to shut him up. The poor guy looked at you as his whole face reddened, both his ears flaming up.

“W-Why d-did you do that?” he whispered as he looked away.

“I just want to. Can you promise me one thing?” you asked as you leaned away, Armin looked at you with curiosity before he opened his mouth to respond, “It depends, make me promise something that I can fulfill.” he told you. When he promised someone, he'll always make sure that he can fulfill because he hates it when promises are broken and he wouldn't want to break any promise to anyone, especially to you.

“Each one of us has our own expertise, I want you to focus on yours and if you find yourself in a fucked up situation, don't hesitate to go to me, call out my name or somethin', I have your back now, Armin.”

“Then call out my name too if you need me.” Armin told you bravely, he doesn't have any idea why he felt this way but the moment he saw you after bumping into you, he already know that he's attracted, he told Eren about it, Eren teased him and he's not amused, not that he hates it but he's afraid that you'll hear.

He often watch you from afar, most of the times you are found with the Captain, probably why some thinks the two of you are in a relationship but as you sat beside him under the moonlight, his heart was filled of hope.

“Good night then, sweetheart.” you whispered as you gently press your lips on his cheeks again, as usual, he was frozen and you stood up to walk away so you could go back inside already.

Armin followed you with his gaze as a sweet smile made its way across his lips, his eyes sparking with glee.

“Good night, sweetheart.” he whispered.

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th3-z0diac · 3 years ago

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How I Make Aesthetics.

Long post ahead, sorry :(

In the past, I've been asked multiple times how I create my aesthetics and where do I get the best pictures for them, so I figured I'd make this master post of what exactly I do. Btw this is coming from a person who has studied graphic design for 4 years and had about 4 years of experience in making zodiac collages here on tumblr. Do what you want with that information.

A few disclaimers

There are different types of aesthetics and in this post, I'm going to be specifically talking about a certain type that I like to make. Here, examples:

My most used format is 6 pictures in 3 rows, but I've also tried 4 pictures, like here for example:

There are other types such as minimalistic photos, dark academia, grunge, and SO many more. Please keep in mind that I'm not hating on these types and when I mention a rule such as don't use photos that are too minimalistic, I am not saying that minimalistic aesthetics are wrong or ugly or anything of that sort!

Just because I don't choose a certain photo doesn't mean I don't like it, it just means that the photo is not exactly what I'm looking for. By me showing you the examples below, I'm just trying to paint a picture. No hate here, okay?

I don't own any of the pictures I use (I've only used like one or two of my own photos in the past) but then again this is just for entertainment, I don't make money doing this or anything. If I ever get a message from an owner of any of these photos and they want me to delete it, I will delete it.

Where to get the photos

Pinterest! Period. AHAHAHA

No but seriously, pinterest and tumblr are my two favorite sources and you will find pretty much exactly what you need there. pinterest specifically.

On tumblr, I usually search for hipster, grunge, indie, and nature, but it also helps to just find specific blogs that focus on photography, follow them and then just download anything from your dashboard that you fancy.

I'll share what I search for on pinterest below👇. My secret tip would be to not always go for the first photo you find but rather to open a picture that sorta has what you like in it and then scroll down, because pinterest is going to recommend you similar, sometimes better fitting photos. On tumblr, I sometimes go to the blog of the person whose one photo I like, and there I tend to find many more of the same kind (since these bloggers usually post a specific kind of aesthetic).

How to choose photos

My number one tip would be to seek texture. Avoid photos that have little going on in them and anything too empty or minimalistic (unless that's what you're aiming for, obviously). Also, don't choose pictures that are very light or very dark, as they tend to stand out in aesthetics and that's not really what you want. At least in the type of aesthetics that I make, I want the final product to be almost a new picture in itself if that makes sense. To show you an example, look at this photo of two sleeping cats:

This photo seems like a good fit; it is well balanced in colours (there are shades of white, beige/ginger as well as some greens) and c'mon, it's two cats, what more do you need!!! However, let's look at it in a complete aesthetic:

While this aesthetic has a nice color scheme to it (well, it doesn't, I threw it together super quickly, but you get the gist), the photo of the two cats just stands out because the khaki background creates this kind of block of color that your eye will automatically go to and it sort of breaks the collage apart. So, by texture, I mean that a picture is filled, for example with trees, flowers, architecture, little people in the background, etc., etc. Furthermore, I prefer when there are more things photographed (for instance, look at the first picture of the aesthetic above; it has a mirror (and a tiny person in it), architecture and leaves all in one picture)

Next, personality. Go to Google Images and search 'Nature Photography' or 'Sunset Photos'. You might get something like this:

Or this:

Look at this absolute angel of a boy💚💚💚💚💚💚Isn't he the cutest freaking thing you've ever seen?????? I just want to give him all the treats and all the pets and — ...ehm, sorry, that's not why we're here.

So I don't quite know how to explain this point, but I guess usually professional photos like this are just so well done that they work perfectly well on their own and you usually don't put them in a set (only with other photos from the same photoshoot maybe). They're obviously well-balanced color-wise and high in quality, but they're just very individual and don't really need any addition in the form of other photos. This point also applies to the previous one (textures, in case you forgot); for example, a bunch of blueberries creates a nice texture, however it might be difficult to pair them with other photos. They have enough personality on their own (and this is not meant in a bad way to the photos I do use).

Related to this, you're looking for a story. Usually, if a photo gives off a certain vibe, tells a story, or just leaves any kind of strong impression, it might be a good indication that this is a good photo to use (given all the other rules as well, of course).

The main themes I search for are:

cities, villages, or abandoned places

related to that — architecture or only parts (details) of it

nature, specifically forests with either road or a body of water nearby, beaches, deserts and so on. plus points for tiny people in the distance

animals, usually with the addition of maybe the texture of a sweater sleeve or some blankets, something of that sort

people, my favorite kind is people turned away from the camera with an interesting background, because by them not having a face, they become a bit more relatable in a sense?

people in a river or some kind of water

museums, sculptures

etc.

Usually, I tend to avoid:

photos with text in it (though as an exception I would mention neon signs or letters/words that are for example above shops, on books, etc.)

heavily filtered pictures

photos with very specific (often bold) colors in them, unless you find multiple photos with that same shade. this again distracts the eye too much

GIFs, animated pictures, illustrations/drawings. also, don't use collages (cause you are creating a collage, duh)

black & white pictures

blurred pictures (or those that are purposely grainy — that goes back to the filters above)

anything obviously photoshopped

When trying to figure out where to put each photo

Squint your eyes. The photos should create a nice harmony, there shouldn't be a corner where it gets too light or dark or where some textures blend together, for example, if using multiple flower patterns, try to place them in different corners.

When to know your aesthetic is done

Actually even before you start, you should be in the mood. I have to admit, there have been times where I've felt pressured into making aesthetics, and now, looking back at them, I'm really ashamed of them. That is why I don't always post aesthetics as soon as I get them requested because I genuinely want them to look good.

Sometimes, it helps to not post the aesthetic straight away but to come back to it later with a fresh look. I'd say go with your gut. You should have a good, satisfying feeling about the aesthetic.

Last note

Rules are meant to be broken. Look at the aesthetic below. I used a minimalistic illustration (two birds with one stone I guess) (and admittedly, that one picture does stand out) and yet the aesthetic still came out pretty nice. So, just play around with your ideas and see what you like the most! I'm just a random person on the internet, you literally don't have to listen to any of the tips I gave you here today.

I know this might seem like a lot (honestly, if you've read this entire thing, you're crazy), but it gets easier and easier with practice, soon you won't even think about it.

Hopefully these tips will help you and please let me know if you decide to make any aesthetics. I would love to see them!! <3

#does anyone even care #this post makes me feel like i forgot how to write in english #also #i was thinking we might do this thing where I like... rate your aesthetics?#idk am I being too confident LMAOOOO #oh well #aesthetic #aesthetics #aesthetic masterpost #masterpost #how to #how i create aesthetics #how to create an aessthetic #aesthetic tips #aesthetic advice #collage #collage art #zodiac #astrology

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jjk-anime-horray · 4 years ago

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Monster: Part Two

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Chapter Summary: The reader finally starts to begin their investigation on why they haven’t bonded with Megumi yet, and why he seems to avoid her, but her new plan maybe more problematic than it would appear at first.

The first step to solving a problem is getting intel on it! Well, that's what your old science teacher had always told you anyway. So, you decided to get more information about Megumi. Unfortunately for you the best person to go to would be Gojo, but not wanting to have to deal with him for opt out of that for Yuji instead with your excuse to yourself i'm saving the "best" for last. You can't lie to yourself you just didn't want to deal with him just yet.

Yuji was a bust. Even though Megumi and Him were friends when you told him what was going on he didn't really know why, just the same as you.

Flashback....

"Maybe you haven't bonded with him because he's really quiet maybe...."

"I've gone out of my way to talk to him Yuji. However, I would've thought it was that at first, but in this case it's not that so what is it.

"Maybe it's because you don't have the same favorite food?"

"Why would not having the same favorite food matter that much?"

"Maybe it's because he's secretly a chef on some really fancy foreign cooking show, you never know."

That one did make you chuckle a little bit, even though you felt a little down on yourself, Yuji's smile and laugh could cheer anyone up even Oscar the grouch. It was nearly impossible to be sad when you're around him.

But when you felt a mysterious energy from behind you, you turned around to meet the cold glare of a certain deep and dark ocean blue eyed boy which left you frozen when he left.

Present time......

With already burning through Nobara, Toge, even Maki and panda, you still had no leads, and you were starting to think your investigation was useless, but you still had on unfortunate card up your sleeve that you were yet to exploit. Just in case you brought a bartering chip with you if you need it.

Your hand went to knock on this person's door, but before your hand could even hit the cut wood the door flung open.

"(YYYYYY/NNNNNNN) what gives me the pleasure of you seeking out my assistance." Damn, you really wanted to punch that pretty blue eyed bastard in the face right now, but he's right, you do need his assistance. "Let me guess, is it with my son Megumi-kun or you need help wooing Yuji-kun or Nobara-chan."

"Megumi isn't your son? Well last time I checked, and why would I go to you for romantic help even if I was looking for it? That literally seems counter productive."

" Tsk Tsk always a stick and no sugar, so I guess it's with my son, and will I be getting anything out of this transaction? Hmmmm?" You sighed and pulled out a box of mini cupcakes from this nice bakery you when to this morning.

"Is this adequate and to your satisfaction?"

"Yes they're perfect come in! come. come." We said while gesturing into his personal space that was his room and office. "I hope you don't mind that Nanami is working in here currently, he needs to finish up with some documents from his last mission, hopefully he won't distract us from your personal Gojo time now will he."

Nanami would be much preferable to Gojo at any given time, lucky he'll be there to help pull down Gojo from whatever la la land he's in.

"You know, (Y/N), you could just go ask him why he doesn't like you, but he would "hate" you even more."

"What's with the air quotes around the hate."

"I have a feeling that my sweet Megumi doesn't actually dislike you at all, it's just a gut feeling I have. Why do you care so much any way?" Leaning forward in your face he said the next few words. "Do you like the quiet boy."

"What?!? No! I just want to know why I haven't been able to bond with him yet."

"Would you really care that much if there wasn't something inside of you that really wanted him to like you?"

That last part daunted on you. Did you like Megumi? I guess you found him a little bit attractive, who wouldn't? He may have been quiet, but he certainly was very capable, and was a big help, he wasn't very judgemental or picky for anything he-

"Come back when you stop lying to yourself (Y/N)."

With that you finally had enough of the sorcerer so you walked out of the room with deep thoughts in your head, and even more questions.

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songofclarity · 4 years ago

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Omg I absolutely agree with your meta about WRH. When I 1st got into the Fandom I used to hate his guts but after I read the novel and watched the donghua I couldn't help but think he was really cool. Something I don't see spoken about often is his competence, not only was his sect the most powerful and richest in his reign but also in the sunshot campaign he was up against the whole cultivation world and they had WWX's demonic cultivation and army of the dead on their side as well as Meng Yao as a spy sneaking them information right from WRH's side and still they couldn't beat him and the war was at stalemate for 3-5 years until WRH was betrayed by Meng Yao whom he trusted and treated like a son and only after they lost WRH's leadership did the Wen sect fall. Also he respects and rewards competence regardless of background and gender etc which makes him look more progressive than most of the cultivation world. I also love how he exudes pure power and self confidence he has that sort of "feline" charisma like how a cat knows 100% and without any doubt that they are the epitome of cathood and that everyone else is beneath them and can never reach their level and also how before you know a cat you think cats are mean tyrannical assholes but then after you get to know them you still believe they are mean tyrannical assholes but also there is far more to them than meets the eye and you can't help but adore them and agree that they are indeed superior and have every right to expect to be worshipped and rule the world. Idk why I went into this cat tangent lol but the point is I believe WRH is very cat-like and maybe that's why I adore him so much because cats are my favorite creatures in the world

Much like a cat, Wen RuoHan sleeps 16 hours a day because an apex predator fears nothing. He wakes up to ask if the Sunshot Campaign is over yet. It's not. He gives a few orders, eats his dinner, throws around a newly gifted catnip toy (he’s quite pleased), and then goes back to sleep near a nice warm fireplace. It's been a long day and he deserves it.

OK, on a serious note, "only after they lost WRH's leadership did the Wen sect fall." 👏👏👏 THANK YOU! The war lasted three years. Wen Chao, Wen ZhuLiu, and Wen Xu all died within days of each other in the first three months. The Qishan Wen Sect is never described as stepping up their game when they realized the Sunshot Campaign was serious. The other sects had Wei WuXian’s demonic cultivation and Meng Yao’s spying.

And STILL the other sects could. not. win.

Jumping back to the top of your ask, it's pretty easy to hate Wen RuoHan at first. The fandom blames him for literally everything even though we see in real time how Wang LingJiao, Wen Chao, and Meng Yao all make their own, terrible choices. The donghua makes Wen RuoHan into a murderous aggressor trying to take over the cultivation world. CQL went with the a more traditional cdrama evil man who doesn't seem to know which way is up.

On a side note, I'm constantly confused when I see people say Wen RuoHan declared the Sunshot Campaign on the other Sects because, like, no? It's literally in the name: the other sects are trying to shoot down the sun! If this was Wen RuoHan's war, it would be more akin to the Scorched Earth Campaign.

So Wen RuoHan being at the head of the Wen Sect with four other great sects trying to take him down and holding steady is such a testament to his competency, you're absolutely right! And at the helm of his competency is his delegation.

Does he delegate to good, responsible people? No, and that’s what gets him into trouble, but I think his delegation is also what makes him popular with his sect and with guest cultivators. He’s powerful and he’s willing to share that power.

What's funny about the Qishan Wen Sect was that it was indeed the most powerful and richest, but Wei WuXian also notes how bad their general cultivators are. That Lan XiChen, Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian, and Jin ZiXuan all ranked in the top four at the archery competition isn't just due to their outstanding skill. It's also because the Wen juniors were just... frankly bad. Wen Ning has stage fright and Wen Chao lacks talent. The Waterborne Abyss was pushed into Gusu territory not as an attack on Gusu, but very likely because the Wen cultivators were not able to destroy it so they just pushed it outside their borders.

So the Wen Sect is really quantity over quality. Yu ZiYuan is a badass lady with a lightning whip and should not have died at Lotus Pier, but Lotus Pier was completely overrun so of course she stood no chance.

And the lack of quality also lies with the guest cultivators. The guest cultivator who threw Nie Dad under the bus, Wang LingJiao, and Meng Yao are all horrible people. Wang LingJiao and Meng Yao are noted for their poor cultivation. Both of them would have been killed before the crucial point if our actual Wen fam, Wen ZhuLiu and Wen RuoHan respectively, did not step in to save them.

Which makes it all the more impressive that Wen RuoHan's leadership held back not just the four sects (perhaps closer to three as the Yunmeng Jiang were recruiting probably rogue cultivators and training a lot from scratch) but also Wei WuXian with his demonic cultivation! Didn't the rumors talk about how Wei WuXian could kill thousands on his own? I don't recall Wei WuXian ever denying it, although at that rate I'd be surprised if there was anyone left to fight after three years, so it’s probably exaggerated lol He’d still be terrifying, however!

Meng Yao's spy work perhaps saved the other four sects from being decimated but his spy work was never enough to give them the upper hand. (Although I have a LOT of thoughts about what that spy work was meant to achieve in general.) Did Wen RuoHan ever know there was a spy? Would it have mattered when it had such little effect??

Wen RuoHan absolutely son-zoned Meng Yao and it's infuriating to me how often Wen RuoHan is treated by fandom as abusing Meng Yao in some capacity. There is no sign that Meng Yao ever suffered in Nightless City. That was always kind of the point of us seeing empathy: Meng Yao was in his stride, he murdered, and he was given a choice and he voted torture.

When we hear about the Fire Palace and how Meng Yao invented all those torture devices, that's Meng Yao being honored for his talent in torture. Wen ZhuLiu changed his name to Wen in order to follow Wen RuoHan and Wen Chao even comments that he can't do anything to punish Wen ZhuLiu because his father thinks Wen ZhuLiu is a rare talent. Talent is protected. Talent is promoted.

Wen RuoHan absolutely rewards talent -- which is, I like to point out, something we only ever see Nie MingJue do when he explains why he promoted Meng Yao. By comparison, Jiang FengMian only praises Wei WuXian, the Gusu Lan bullied Su She out rather than acknowledge he was talented in his own right, and the Jin only ever use their guest cultivators, such as Xue Yang, like tools to be used and thrown away. While Nie MingJue gets closest by raising up Meng Yao, however, he doesn't seek to cultivate Meng Yao's skills and instead sends him on his way when Meng Yao has other goals.

Wen RuoHan not only rewards talent but he also nurtures it. Wen Chao is given opportunities to practice being a leader and organizer. It's said by cultivators later in the novel that Wen RuoHan taught Meng Yao his sword technique--the same technique that Meng Yao likely used to kill him. Note how Nie MingJue observed from the start that Meng Yao's sword skills needed work, but we never see or hear about Meng Yao doing any training with the Nie. So Meng Yao goes from being a terrible swordsman to being good enough to kill Wen RuoHan fast enough that he suffers no backlash.

Although is Wen RuoHan the type of person who would harm someone he had son-zoned? The manhua gave us a gift by showing us the shocked and betrayed look on Wen RuoHan's face and the completely unapologetic look on Meng Yao's.

That isn’t to say that Wen RuoHan, as the enemy, didn’t somehow deserve to be taken down, but it does say a lot that the only way to defeat him was through a personal betrayal. And it says a lot that, with Wen RuoHan ruling over a city-sized cultivation sect that welcomed plenty of outsiders, he never felt like he had to watch his back.

#asked from above #anon #mdzs thoughts #wen ruohan #this is kind of a ramble #but you're opening all the doors on my wrh feels lol #included the mentioned wrh meta in the source

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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You ever worry about hearing one side of a story that's been taken out of context and twisted to fit op's narrative, about something you don't have firsthand knowledge about? On tumblr this is a fear I have. Imagine if I'm in some isolated corner learning half truths about some real person who op has personal vendetta against, but I only know their version so I end up hating that person's guts for years? Some isolated Tim fan hating Dick because they only know him through lies?

Yeah, this is an understandable concern to have, especially on tumblr where misinformation can run rampant at times - it happens with everything from fictional characters, celebrities, other posters, etc.

Personally, I tend to go with the ‘trust but verify’ approach. You hear something about someone from a friend, or you see something reblogged from a person you’ve followed for years.....looking into the situation they described yourself, as much as you can, doesn’t necessarily mean that you think they’re lying about it, its just....context is SO SO key, to so many different conversations.

And the thing about context, especially situational context, is its only defined by our personal experiences, thoughts and worldview. Basically I just mean the context for some hearsay you’ve heard secondhand could look totally different to you than it does to someone else, because the context is really just your own personal frame of reference to whatever was said or happened. Its how it looks to you from a perspective or angle you’re already at or are familiar with.

So someone can describe a situation to you but have a totally different interpretation than you get when looking into it yourself, and there doesn’t have to be malicious intent involved for that to happen......the exact same dot on the horizon is going to look different to two different people who are viewing it from different angles, y’know? Where we’re coming from or standing at when we look at a situation often has as much to do with how we interpret it, as the facts of the situation itself.

Which means there’s no real easy answer to a problem like this, because it varies so much from person to person....but the one thing I think can always be said to be true of everyone no matter the situation.......its FAR more beneficial to get more familiar with asking questions than accepting answers.

Questions, after all, whether voiced to someone else or just to ourselves as our reason for looking deeper into a matter.....are ultimately just a request for more information. And a different perspective.....one that DOESN’T come naturally to you, and thus you have to hear from someone else to even kinda conceptualize it because its far enough out of your personal frame of reference you wouldn’t connect those dots without an objective viewpoint unhindered by your own natural biases to kinda....point you to where to look.....

I’m just saying, different perspectives ARE more information. Often the most valuable or relevant information out there.

So ultimately my advice for pretty much every situation similar to what you’re describing is.....making it more natural to you to ask questions about stuff, request MORE information before making up your OWN mind, than just...accepting one single perspective the first time you see it and assuming it knows what its talking about because of the sole fact that you haven’t seen or heard a contrary viewpoint.

Because that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there....just that the person delivering their version of the facts to you isn’t likely to provide them, and if nobody else is stepping up in your vicinity to provide an alternative viewpoint......that just means you might have to go looking for it.

Personally, I’m of the opinion that exposing yourself to viewpoints even radically opposite what you initially believe on a subject is a good thing, because then you have two different ends of a spectrum you can compare and contrast at MULTIPLE points to see just where on that spectrum you and your frame of reference land, the spot that once you look back and forth, you think is most supported by facts rather than conjecture or opinion or bias.

(Note: this does NOT by any means mean that that point is always going to be in the center of two opinions. Not every subject has a middle ground or SHOULD have a middle ground. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t end up landing on one of the two most polarizing viewpoints on that spectrum of possible interpretations, if that’s the one you ultimately feel is right. A LOT of people default to assuming that the most reasonable position is somewhere in the middle of two extremes, but that’s like.....not at all innately true. Given that the very nature of things being EXTREMES, as in, the outermost edge of interpretations or possibilities......literally means its entirely possible that one of those extremes is EXTREMELY BAD. And there is absolutely NOTHING to be gained by seeking a compromise or a middle ground between something EXTREMELY BAD and its polar opposite position....especially if you’re really only taking that middle ground because you’re afraid that taking the polar opposite stance will make you seem as unreasonable and single-minded as those taking the extremely bad position.)

*Shrugs*

Anyway, that’s my take on any situation that’s relevant to your broader question.

1) Ask more questions whenever possible (This doesn’t mean treat whoever brought something to your attention as your personal Ask Jeeves and act like that means they owe it to you to perform the functions of a search engine now. It literally just means ask more questions.....of the internet, of library books, of yourself and your personal sense of right and wrong and your own convictions....or of people you seek out when looking for other people who are already offering up their viewpoints on a matter as a resource).

2) Seek out opposing viewpoints (How can you truly know where you stand on a matter if you’re so uninformed on it you don’t even know what the opposition to that stance thinks and believes? How do you fight for something you’ve decided is a worthy cause to fight for, if you have zero clue what it is you’ve committed yourself to fighting against? You don’t - which is how we so often end up with people paying lip service to the idea of being allies, but then are nowhere to be found when the opposing viewpoint DOES come banging on the door).

3) Make up your own mind on matters and STAND by your convictions....while at the same time not cutting yourself off from being open to changing your mind if NEW information later comes to light. (This isn’t an easy tightrope to walk, but hey, who the fuck ever promised that being your own person was easy, y’know? But basically by this I just mean......don’t pattern your opinion or view on something by osmosis. Don’t just soak in and regurgitate what everyone around you is saying. Going against the grain on something, taking a stance that’s ‘controversial’ even in your friend group, like yeah that can be scary, but who’s to say there aren’t others around you who also hold that stance but are just too afraid to speak out on the matter for the same reasons you’re hesitating.

Sometimes standing by your convictions means you end up standing alone and that can SUCK. But on the flipside, even when you’re the lone person standing there offering up a viewpoint different from everyone else in the vicinity....it can make it a lot easier for other people who hold similar views to SEE you and head in your direction, reach out and connect, allowing you to end up in groups and social circles where the others’ opinions are more in line with what you TRULY believe and feel and stand for.

Sometimes standing by your convictions means you can end up enacting a sea change.....if everyone is secretly holding a stance different from what’s being spoken aloud, just because they’re all afraid of being singled out as ‘against the group’......isn’t it a waste to think of all the HONEST conversations you could all have been having amongst each other the whole time if only someone had gone first, spoken up to say the things that everyone else had already been thinking? There’s no reason you can’t be that first.

And lastly, and most importantly IMO....sometimes standing by your convictions means you’re still just flat out wrong. *Shrugs* Sucks, but its a reality we all have to face. Being super passionate and sure you’re right about something isn’t actually a GUARANTEE that you’re right....

buuuuuuuut.....as long as you keep that in mind, keep being self-aware about that last bit, that ‘hey self, just FYI, I know you’re going superhard for this viewpoint right now, but just remember, we might end up eating a lot of fucking crow because we’re not actually omniscient and could have gotten this one wrong’.....

And then you COMBINE that awareness with a HABIT of always asking questions when first becoming aware of a new topic or situation, of making a note to self to get more information, more PERSPECTIVES, like.....building up that tendency like its a muscle you’re exercising, the more you do it, the easier it becomes, the more natural and ingrained.....

And then add to that just....not being afraid to test or challenge your OWN convictions or viewpoints once you think you’ve settled on one....being willing to pit your stance against even its extreme opposite and see if it actually holds up the way you think it does, or if the other side of things has points that can actually poke holes in what you had previously assumed was pretty solid....

Like, again, there’s no guarantees, nobody’s infallible, everyone gets SOMETHING wrong at some point in their lives and there’s no shame in that unless your reaction to that is to just double down on something you now know is wrong just because change is scary and the unknown intimidates you......

With all that said, personally, I still think that combination (ask a lot of questions, challenge your own convictions, and make up your own mind rather than just settle for whatever mindset seems ‘closest’).....like, IMO, keeping consistent with those three actions just as a general approach to things will serve you MUCH better in life than just taking the first thing you see or hear about a subject that’s new to you and assuming it to be true just because that’s the only view that was offered to you upfront.

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funkymbtifiction · 6 years ago

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I'm maddening to understand what is my instinctual variant. I've read all the possible informations on the Internet,but I don't understand nothing because there are too little good texts about this matter and the majority of them are too nebulous. How to understand that I am sp, sx or so? Or to understand my blind spot? I hope that you can answer to these questions because I don't know where to ask them.

Simpler is better. Don’t over-complicate it. Just go with your gut instinct.

(having enough to eat, enough sleep, nice things in my home so it feels comfy to me, making sure I get down time to recharge, knowing my body’s limitations, saving money, ensuring that I have everything I need to live a comfortable life)

(adapting to what is appropriate, being socially aware and respectful, caring to include and not alienate others, spending a lot of time establishing relationships with a broad variety of people, knowing how to spread your energy around and treat others as equals)

(you need other people and/or intense, stimulating things to draw energy from, you seem to be passionately wildly devoted to that thing for awhile and then wake up one morning and the heat is gone, so you abandon it and find a new source of energy and ‘juice’; you feel incomplete without a significant other)

The order is which one you find relatively easy to do; the second one is something you pay attention to, but don’t do as well as the first; your blind spot is the one you’re aware of, but neglect in favor of the other two (and it seems awkward when you do, do it).

So, the blindspots would act like this if they tried:

sp-blind: suddenly takes an interest in self-care, goes way overboard, doesn’t know what’s reasonable to gather as resources, causing other sp’s to “lol” at them because no, you don’t need a year’s supply of Red Bull, that’s not an actual health food

so-blind: suddenly thinks maybe they should care what other people think, tries to appeal to them, figures out they seem to either have people love or hate them, there’s no in-between, is socially awkward when they try to spread their focus around and aren’t sure how to make friends without ‘crazy energy’ pulling at them to care

sx-blind: thinks they need heat and intensity in their romantic relationship, but has no idea what that’s like, so they try and pretend they have it by being all over their SO and just being super awkward with PDA instead

- ENFP Mod

ETA: Examples:

sp-blind: Dustin in Stranger Things, failing to realize that thing he’s feeding that is sooo cute is actually a monster that is gonna try and eat him and his friends. This is rather an extreme example, but sp-blinds fail to take into account how dangerous the external world is, since their personal health and safety often does not enter their minds. This is literally the person who agrees to let their first date with a person on tinder DRIVE THEM to their destination (cos it’s not like people get murdered or anything, right?).

so-blind: Queen Victoria on Victoria. She is so wrapped up in her own sense of self-care and independence and her intense sx-merging with Albert that every single time she tries to do something “nice” for the public, she majorly misjudges the situation and only makes the public angrier at her. Like her sp thinking it’s a great idea to throw a grand ball to spend money to help the fabric shops of London is a nice thought, just, you know, not really socially appropriate while people are starving outside her gate. ;)

sx-blind: Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl. Her entire on and off again thing with Chuck is an sx-blind nightmare, since he will tell her she doesn’t have any intense chemistry with whatever due she is with (and she doesn’t) ... and that will cause her to react and over-compensate by trying to be sexually aggressive -- which is what she thinks sx-intensity is (it’s not). But basically, all the romantic choices she make (except for Chuck) are for so/sp reasons (so - it looks good, everyone approves, and sp - but we get on so well together and he provides everything that I need... except sx bonding, oops).

#question #instinctual variants #enneagram subtypes #enneagram

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lonely-lady-and-a-foxglove-man · 2 years ago

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Ok so first off this is a long collection of what are basically checkbox diagnoses from someone with no training, and so nothing stated should be taken as fact when it comes to the disorders mentioned.

@one-joe-spoopy so I realized I made a few mistakes. First of all, I realized the anxiety was based on a fanfic I read, and I had forgotten it wasn’t canon, and I would like to drop it for lack of evidence.

Next, I said BPD as in Borderline Personality disorder, but I actually meant DID, or dissociative identity disorder. His deep-set separation between his different identities feels like a maladaptive coping mechanism rather than just wording. The reason why is that he seems to consider these identities completely separate people, rather than some front he puts up. In Man of Glass we see that he can become unable to properly understand the world around him because he doesn’t recognize emotions that are “Nureyev’s” not “Ransom” or “Dupin”[sic]. He says that Nureyev was wronged, not Ransom, and so Nureyev’s feelings don’t matter. He fails to recognize that he is upset at Juno, and so begins blatantly misinterpreting events, such as thinking Juno was flirting on the job because he was having a conversation and that Juno was incompetent for extremely minor mistakes. His separation between identities is impacting his judgment in these instances, and he doesn’t seem to recognize that at all. Furthermore, an argument can be made that we’ve seen him become disassociated when he completely turns off all outside information while trying to get to the globe. (This is weak however, and that seems more like hyper fixation.)

I do think I was right about his PTSD, partially because his personal experiences reflect it being a likely diagnosis, partially because of the aforementioned DID (which tends to relate to PTSD), and also because he seems to have extraordinary difficulty thinking about things which make him uncomfortable or upset no matter what identity he’s using. He files away all negative emotions and seems to have a history of just leaving these emotions completely unaddressed. He does this occasionally with positive emotions as well, and he seems to have a very strong panic response. Finally, and this is just a hunch, his interactions with Buddy seem like a neutral trauma response. He sees her as a parental figure and seeks her approval while also seeming distant and somewhat weary. This mirrors his experiences with Mag, looking in equal parts to recapture that kind of parental love while also dreading it.

I don't think Nureyev would have recognized or treated these issues due to his unwillingness to consider what he terms “irrelevant information.”. He seems likely to rationalize and ignore the more troubling symptoms. He is unwilling to seek help partially because he doesn't recognize the problem. Also, he's hardly in a good position to get help. So far, he has Rita, who’s an absolute angel but not actually trained, Juno, who is worse, and Buddy, who is neither trained nor someone he fully trusts. The only person qualified to prescribe him medications openly hates him and he probably worries would only hate him more if she knew that there was an Issue (never mind the fact that this is completely irrational, if ever there was someone who would get it, it would be Vespa). He’d most likely continue to try and file away his more difficult emotions even as he opens up just because he doesn't know what to do with them. All in all, it seems likely to me that Nureyev’s more unique issues qualify as full-blown disorders. Ultimately, this doesn't mean much other than there are already preexisting treatment options available. Again this is also just me justifying a gut feeling and not something I put too much effort into as far as research, so if I'm wrong about something, please let me know.

Nureyev has full blown BPD, anxiety, and PTSD and literally no idea. Like, he has no comprehension of what is “normal” and just thinks everyone has periods of complete blankness.

#peter nureyev #the penumbra podcast #dissociative identity disorder #ptsd #I’ll be honest #I wrote the original post at about 12:00 at night #so I have very little memory of making it #this is my honest assessment though #I wish I had more energy to actually properly research this but this is what I've got #sorry it's so long #also sorry for misunderstanding your question

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