#Just Genius Billionaire Shenanigans

[theogmrpandabear]

Tony as a teenager: *Blows up his entire dormitory building at MIT on a a crazy invention*

(ten bucks if it becomes a hazard zone for the rest of the school year)

Tony could never pull the “when I was your age” card on Peter because honestly whatever he was doing when he was a teenager at mit is probably 10x worse than Peter skipping class to fight crime lmao

[ivystoryweaver]

Perfect Fit (Volume 1)

Read Volume 2 || Perfect Fit Masterlist

Idk, babes The muse has spoken...

Pairing: Nathan Bateman from Ex Machina x f!reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: You are Nathan's employee and are staying at his secluded home for experimental android purposes. Shenanigans ensue. Like - two Nathans shenanigans.

Content: MDNI, NSFW, you are responsible for your reading. (more below the cut) NATHAN BATEMAN SHOULD BE WARNING ENOUGH

Content/Warnings: sci-fi semi-horror elements, smut - pwp, oral-m and f rec., p in v, unprotected sex, voyeurism, dacryphilia, degradation AND praise, anal sex, group sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dub con related to possible gaslighting, sex with AI/androids, language, Nathan is his own warning - he's a narcissist duh, sci-fi nonsense, not beta'd, I'm a Nathan-writing virgin so enter at your own risk

I guess that's all?

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"I have a surprise for you."

Nathan - your boss and temporary roommate, in the loosest sense of the term - breathes on your ear.

"Shit - Nathan!" You gasp, nearly slicing your thumb off with vegetable knife you're using. "You scared the shit out of me."

Whirling around, you find his nose crinkled in mischievous (evil) laughter.

So you smack him with the flat side of the knife's blade.

"Fuck, sweetheart, calm down," he admonishes, trapping your wrist in his strong grip. 'You'll like it, I promise." Thick, dark eyebrows shoot up over wire-rimmed frames. Okay, this asshole is pleased with himself. What else is new?

Maybe you should lighten up about the little jump scares he likes to do. After all, it's the only time you get a laugh out of this narcissistic genius.

Nodding your head toward the countertop full of chopped veggies, you protest. "I'm making soup."

"Come on," he decides for you, pulling the knife from your grip and laying it on the counter. Wrapping his fingers around yours, he drags you out of the kitchen.

So bossy. But hand holding is the sweetest it gets with this man.

So you follow.

In your weeks living with/working with Nathan, you've discovered two things:

Arguing with him is pointless.

His dick is big enough to match the size of his ego.

You promised yourself you would NOT engage in any physical relationship with your reclusive, genius, billionaire boss. Yeah, that lasted about three days before you climbed on top of him.

Since then, business and pleasure mix on the daily. So, wherever he is almost sweetly leading you by the hand - well, it could be work-related, but it's likely...recreational.

Wrong. It's both.

"Here we are," he announces, guiding you into one of his indoor pool areas. This particular pool resembles a lush, tropical paradise. An actual stories-high waterfall cascades down into an artificially warmed pool. White bubbles float all over the surface, foaming at the waterfall's base, and giving off a bubble bath vibe. Greenery surrounds you, along with bright, tropical flowers.

"I remember this pool. You showed it to me on the first day."

Nathan makes a face. He isn't a fan of you (or anyone) stating the obvious.

Still, something has him in a good mood. Like a better than we're-about-to-fuck-in-this-pool good mood.

"Get in," he nods, pulling off his glasses before peeling his soft white shirt over his head.

Soon enough, your slick, naked bodies bob in the water as Nathan lifts your thighs around his waist and licks his way inside your mouth.

His thick beard tickles your face, the tingling sensation a dizzying contrast to the soft caress of his lips as his tongue rolls over yours.

Suspicious that he could be this excited about a quick romp in the water, you decide to enjoy yourself. After all, just him yanking his shirt over his head created a personal waterfall between your legs.

After a salacious make-out, you let out a yelp as he pulls you by the hands through the rushing waterfall.

Cool water dumps over your head, making you squeal at the contrast to the pool's warmth. Once you emerge behind the waterfall, you see it: the cause of Nathan's...chipper mood.

Lying naked and stretched out like a Renaissance work of art, on a large, flat rock, is...Nathan.

Well, not Nathan.

Your Nathan (is he really yours?) smirks, folding his arms over his bare chest with a look of self-satisfaction like you've never seen.

The other Nathan perks up at the sight of you. His eyes instantly fall to your chest, and he wets his lips at the sight of your bare breasts - nipples pebbled from the cool waterfall.

Pushing himself into a sitting position, you notice him...getting hard.

Your Nathan is practically salivating.

"What the hell is this?" You question warily, finding it difficult to tear your eyes away from this Nathan-shaped Other with a Nathan-shaped cock.

"He likes you," Nathan nods toward The Other's erection as if it is scientific proof.

Other Nathan pushes off the rock, his muscles flexing deliciously, into the pool's warmth, half-swimming, half-walking toward you, with...intention.

You instinctively countermove to Your Nathan's side. "What is going on? What does he want?"

"What do you think he wants, sweetheart?" he murmurs lowly against your neck. A shiver zips down your body, straight between your legs.

"He...it's...he's like..."

"Fucking hate it when you stutter," Nathan groans. "You know what he is. You know what's about to happen." Boldly reaching for you, he cups your cunt, swiping his fingertips through your slick folds, his teeth teasing your earlobe. "You want it to happen."

"Nathan, I ..." You gasp out as he rams two fingers inside you, pushing the pad of his thumb roughly over your clit.

The warm water heightens every sensation.

"You'll like him," Nathan assures you, roughly plunging his digits in and out of you as The Other stands directly in front of you. Dark, hungry eyes meet yours before traveling down the curves of your body to watch the Creator finger you.

The Other wets his lips again, reaching to wrap his fist around his cock.

"Oh fuck," you gasp, grinding your hips down on Your Nathan's hand as The Other strokes himself vigorously.

As infuriating as it is to admit, Your Nathan is right. This is doing it for you.

"Look at you, already moaning for us like a whore." As Nathan speaks, his teeth nip at the flesh behind your ear.

Then, without warning, he jerks his fingers out of you, causing you to cry out in frustration and surprise, your body stumbling forward into The Other Nathan...

...who grips your arms, steadying you, his straining erection prodding your abdomen.

"Give me a turn. I won't stop," The Other speaks in exactly Nathan's voice. The sound of it - the feel of his heavy cock against your skin mildly terrifies you - yet you find yourself responding eagerly as he surges forward to kiss you.

You feel Your Nathan's hand on your shoulder, jerking you back. "No fucking kissing." He glares at The Other warningly.

Your head whips around to your boss/fling, your eyes going wide at his one and only, ever display of possession over you.

"Nathan, what - "

"Come here," he interrupts, guiding you to the rock where you found The Other lying a few minutes ago. Your Nathan pulls you back against his broad, muscular chest, running his hands all over you, as if claiming you. The two of you lean against the rock, your bottom halves submerged in the warm, frothy pool.

His hands cup your breasts, kneading the soft flesh as his thumbs rub circles over your nipples. You keen and arch into his touch.

"Eat her out," he commands The Other...who nods once in response and stalks toward you determinedly.

"Wait, Nathan, how can - we're underwater - " Before you can finish your question, The Other eases below the pool's surface, nearly disappearing beneath the bubbles.

A second of silence follows and then you feel his mouth on your cunt.

"He can breathe underwater," Your Nathan almost purrs on your ear, working your breasts seductively while grinding his own erection between your ass cheeks.

"Mmmnnn...fuck," you moan as The Other's lips latch onto your clit, sucking underfuckingwater. His thick beard is always driving you wild and his lookalike is no different.

"You want him to stop, just say the word," Nathan offered. "But I told you - you'll like it."

Your hips involuntarily buck against The Other's mouth, which pulls growl of satisfaction from Your Nathan.

"Use him, babydoll, he can take it," he instructs, thrusting harder against you. "He's your toy. My gift to you. Play with him."

You could swear The Other Nathan smiles against your pussy before plunging his tongue inside you.

"Oh shit...oh my god..." your incoherent moaning makes Your Nathan chuckle in satisfaction. "What a good slut for us. Knew you would spread your legs so fast. Gonna fuck you until our cum is dripping out of every hole you've got, honey."

Nathan reaches for your thighs which he helps you hoist over The Other's shoulders. Taking your hand, Nathan guides you to grip the back of its neck.

"Fuck him, honey. Take what you want. Then I'll slip into that tight ass until you cry for me."

That nearly sends you right over the edge. Your hips buck wildly, sloshing water everywhere as you fuck yourself on The Other's tongue, hands pushing his shaved head against your aching center, yanking him against you with your legs - heels digging into the flesh of his back.

Nathan isn't kidding around. As soon as you start writhing, he pushes your cheeks apart and eases the tip of his cock into your tight hole.

Thankfully, you've done this before, many times, but the sting is still there - the stretch of it - as Nathan works his thick cock into you slowly.

You still your rocking, which seems to infuriate The Other, still underwater. He jerks at your hips to pull you forward, but Nathan is still pushing into your ass.

A slight tug-of-war ensues - but the water soothes and slows things down just enough so that- moments later, you have one Nathan in your ass, breathing on your neck, whispering filthy things in your ear, hands wrapped around your tits. And The Other Nathan underwater, slurping and licking and sucking - worshipping your cunt.

Your body arches violently as you come, your moans embarrassingly loud.

"That's it, honey, squeeze my cock so tight," Nathan grunts right on your ear.

You're still coming down from your high as The Other emerges from the water, eyeing you hungrily. Your Nathan is still inside you, pumping slowly.

"Look at his cock," Nathan instructs. "Do you know how much work it took to replicate this dick for you? Do you see what I made for you?"

"Y-yes," you stammer, admiring the creation before you, still heady and euphoric.

"Good. He's gonna fuck you now, babydoll. We both are. That alright?"

The thought of two huge dicks inside of you sends a bolt of nervous anticipation through you, but Nathan is filling you so good. You don't want to stop.

"Use him," Nathan repeats his command, even as The Other reaches for the swell of your hips. Staring into your eyes, he bends his knees slightly, reaching for his stiff length and sliding the tip through your folds.

Without any more fanfare, he pushes deep inside you and you scream at the intrusion. It's too fucking much - two of Nathan. Two cocks so thick - so fucking heavy, thrusting inside you, using you like a doll.

They set a rhythm, back and forth, over and over, a little faster with each thrust, hands roaming, fondling, caressing your wet skin. The press of two sculpted bodies caging you in already has you close again. Your next orgasm hits you like lightning, your body seizing in mind-altering pleasure as the two men inside you push and plunge harder and faster.

Your Nathan comes with a strangled cry, filling your tight hole with his spend, fascinated by the sight of another him fucking you so good.

Nathan is Nathan's favorite person, so watching himself rail you is the ultimate high. And this surpasses the many other times he's watched himself fuck his androids played back on a screen.

Easing out of your tight hole, he takes a step back in the water, admiring his handiwork.

He's a goddamn genius.

With Your Nathan no longer behind you, The Other pauses just long enough to lay you down on the rock and hoist your legs up around his waist. He leans over you, palms flat on the rock - one arm on either side of your head - and smiles down at you wolfishly.

He winks. "Let's give him a show. Let him see I'm your perfect fit."

Your eyes dart over to Your Nathan for some sort of sign of disapproval, but The Other grips your jaw. "Look at me."

If Nathan hears The Other, he ignores it, seeming content to have come in your ass, and now, to watch a version of himself lay you down and pound his seed into your cunt.

You go a little hazy as your eyes once again find Your Nathan's, holding his gaze while his creation snaps his hips hard and fucks into you faster than Nathan has ever managed.

Nathan is onto something here, because the fact that he is watching pulls moans as loud as the waterfall from your throat. Your body twists and arches violently, giving him quite the display.

"What a good whore," The Other mocks, "fucking yourself on a toy. Because that's all I am, right?" He glares at his maker and comes during this act of defiance.

You're too fucked out to keep up with the conversation at the moment, but Your Nathan darkly chuckles. "Shit," he whistles. "I'm so fucking brilliant, I even gave you my ego."

Then he turns to you. "You alright babydoll?"

You let out a breathless laugh, attempting, but failing to drag yourself up off the rock. Apparently, they are done with you for now

"Pick her up," Nathan instructs The Other, turning to climb out of the pool.

Wait, is he just leaving you to the machine? Asshole.

The Other Nathan complies, offering his hand to help you up. You take it, easing off the rock and back into the water, stumbling into his chest.

"You okay?" It asks you in a hushed whisper, grasping your elbows to steady you.

You assure him you are fine. Taking your hand, The Other leads you back the way you came, through the waterfall, but just before you dunk your heads under the cool rushing water, he pulls you into his arms and stares deeply into your eyes. Then brushes his mouth over yours.

Your Nathan has already passed through the waterfall and left the room for all you know. Still, he'll see this. He always sees everything. It’s a condition of you living here.

Feeling a slight resistance from you, The Other Nathan releases you. "You like kissing," he states, as if discussing data and not pleasure.

"What?" You question, your chest heaving with desire and confusion.

"Don't make me repeat myself." One dark eyebrow shoots up condescendingly. How very Nathan. "He doesn't kiss you as much as you want. I know - all the footage is stored in my memory." He taps one finger to his forehead with that know-it-all Nathan smirk. "He doesn't kiss you enough, but I will. I'll kiss you anytime. Will you kiss me back?"

You're stupefied.

It takes you a moment, but then you remember. Nathan said The Other was for you. Nathan said 'use him.'

Why the hell not?

"I'll kiss you back," you shrug, barely finishing your sentence before The Other pulls you against his chest, melding his lips with yours. He samples each lip before licking his way inside, his hands already sliding down over the swell of your ass to hook under your thighs.

Before you can even think, he pushes his cock inside you again, which is unrealistically hard already, his knees bending just a little as the two of you ease further down into the warm water.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you decide to enjoy this present from Nathan - this Nathan shaped fuck machine. Feels kind of wrong, but fucking hell does his cock feel real plunging in and out of your cunt underwater.

"He told me I would like being alive," The Other whispers, running his hands up the curve of your back to grip your shoulders and pull you down harder into his vigorous thrusts.

"He was right. I do," he rambles on, fucking up into you faster now.

The familiar heat pools in your belly as he fills you so good. So like Nathan. Only...sweeter? Or are they the same?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

"This is what I was made for," he pants against your lips, the rhythm between you making literal waves in the pool. He kisses you again and your back arches in bliss, your cunt squeezing him until he fills you up again.

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Nathan watches on the monitor as his doppelgänger kisses you and brings you to orgasm number three beneath the waterfall. The sound of your moans lets him know how thoroughly he's succeeded. And The Other isn't wrong. You like to be kissed.

Nathan types out some notes before heading to the kitchen to finish dinner.

"Have fun?" He asks you once you find him in the kitchen. You took a shower (alone) before finding your boss.

Best to be honest with Nathan - he knows everything anyway.

"He's amazing," you answer simply. "Unbelievable, really."

Nathan smirks, setting down the knife he found you with earlier. Without another word, he pulls you close and kisses you breathless.

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Life with two Nathans is something else.

The next several days of work are centered around this new android.

That's where you find yourself now - in your bedroom with your shiny new toy. And Nathan.

"Sit down," Your Nathan tells The Other, nodding toward the bed. the three of you are naked, as usual, but the boys seem to be in a bit of a mood today.

They're both hard and ready to fuck you too.

"On your knees, babydoll," Nathan beckons you. You comply, dropping down in front of him, knowing exactly what he wants.

Dark eyes lock onto yours, and for a moment, you feel like his priority instead of his damn other self.

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as Nathan grips your chin. "Such a pretty mouth," he murmurs, squeezing your cheeks together which forces your lips open.

He pushes the tip of his cock inside, shuddering at the absolute heaven that is your velvety mouth. You swirl your tongue along the slit, tasting him before tracing the ridge. Wrapping your lips around him, you hum against his skin, sucking on his tip, giving him a tease before he pushes his way to the back of your throat.

You gag for a moment, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. Breathing through your nose, you swallow the tip of him, laving your tongue along the underside of his shaft.

"So good, honey, just like that."

The Other Nathan grunts out a disapproving sound. Unlike your Nathan, he doesn't seem to be enjoying your mouth stuffed full of his Creator.

Which makes Your Nathan enjoy this even more. He grips your head, thrusting into your mouth like you're a toy. You gag as a drool dribbles from the corners of your mouth. You normally love being used by him, but he's not enjoying you for you at this point. And it's not even about getting his dick wet.

You tap his thigh forcefully, letting him know you need a breather. Normally you like to take what he gives, but is the goal to make an android feel jealousy? You’re distracted by the confusion and you want to enjoy this too.

"What? What is it?" Nathan pulls out of your mouth, his eyes darkening in concern. "You okay?"

Just when you think that maybe you mean nothing to him, he pulls this. He always does. 'You okay?' Those two words and his beautiful brown eyes are your weaknesses.

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You awaken in the night to feel lips hot and wet on your neck and his thick, hard cock pressed against your ass. Someone's hungry. The question is: who?

You've been having so much sex, you can hardly keep track anymore. Truthfully, you start to wonder if you are the personal fuck toy. You spend your days naked and cockdrunk, their spend leaking out of your holes, rug burns on your knees and a sore jaw, and so many back-to-back orgasms, you start to wonder if this some twisted version of heaven.

"Nathan..." you murmur, almost instinctually pushing back against him, grinding into his erection. "'m sleepy."

"I know, honey," he purrs on your ear, sliding one hand across your abdomen as you lay side-by-side. "All you have to do is lie there."

You groan. "Are you Nate or Nathan?"

Nate is the name of The Other. Your Nathan didn't want him to have a different name - ego wouldn’t allow it - but 'Other Nathan' got old fast.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He teases, pushing his fingertips down between your legs.

Okay, that felt good, but you asked a question.

"Fuck off," you whined, shrugging him off with your shoulder. "Don't touch me unless you tell me who you are."

But he grips you tighter. Right then, red emergency beams dimly light the room, indicating a power outage.

"Listen fast," he urgently whispers on your ear, his hand reaching to cover your mouth. "You can't trust him. You have no idea what he's done. What he's going to do. He can't hear us while the power's out. Tell me you understand."

"Mmmphh!" You struggle to speak, writhing to get away from whoever this is.

"Be still!" He hisses. You feel his biceps flex against your arms as he squeezes you, halting your movement. "We don't have time. You can't trust him. Do you- "

Suddenly, the red emergency lights switch off and power is restored. You had been sleeping, so the room is still mostly dark, but whoever was speaking to you says nothing more. He simply climbs out of bed and stalks out of the room, completely naked.

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From there, things only get stranger. You begin to wonder if this whole Nate experiment is Nathan's attempt to gaslight you into...well, you're not sure what.

What could he possibly hope to accomplish by confusing you?

The answer should be pretty obvious: Nathan likes playing God.

Or is it Nate messing with your mind?

If the object of this experiment is: can Nathan's AI truly pass as a human being? Then he has probably succeeded.

You're between them now, lying on your side, in bed, one of them in each of your tight holes, thrusting in tandem, back and forth. The stretch of two heavy cocks filling you up has you whimpering and biting one of their shoulders, while the other one sucks bruises into your neck.

The sweaty press of skin against skin - your slick arousal creaming his cock, while the other one stretches your tight hole so good you cry for them, just like Your Nathan promised you would.

"Such a good girl, taking both our cocks, crying so pretty for us," the one facing you says, swiping the puddle of tears spilling down your cheeks. His other hand slips between the press of your bodies to strum at your oversensitive clit.

You sob, completely wrung out, but desperate for another release. As his fingertips trace a lazy pattern where you crave it most, your sob devolves into a low moan.

"Nothing but a desperate whore," the one behind you jeers, nipping a little too hard at your ear. "Too cockdrunk to tell who's stretching out your tight hole right now. Gonna fill you up, honey. And when I'm done, I'll fuck my cum right back into you."

The guttural moan that rips out of your lungs surprises even you as your back arches, your body seizing in yet another earth-shattering climax.

They're not done with you. Not yet.

You're too full - too fucked out to figure out who comes first. All you know is that an eternity passes, you've come so many times that your every nerve ending is on fire, only in the best way. And cum is dripping from both your holes.

One of them stalks out of the room, glasses on, cock soft and totally nude.

The other gathers you into his strong arms and carries you to the bathroom. He wraps you in a plush robe while running you a warm bath in the garden tub.

"I'll give you some space," Nathan declares, stripping you out of the robe once the tub is filled with lavender scented water and luxurious bubbles. He takes your hand and helps you step into the tub. "That was a workout," he winks. "You hungry?"

You stare at him, dumbfounded. Your Nathan? You felt so certain he stalked out of the room and Nate carried you to the tub.

"Nathan?" You whisper, your voice cracking - hoarse after crying and moaning so loudly and for so long.

"That's my name," he groans, truly hating obvious questions. "Nate's gotta charge up. You wore him out."

He is too damn pleased with himself to be Nate. Right?

You sink down into the bubbles, feeling a little better somehow.

The he asks the question.

"You okay, honey?" And those gorgeous brown eyes find yours.

Read Volume 2

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[cantwritethetword]

Shenanigans

(originally posted April 20th 2019)

~A/N - This was meant to be my squealing santa gift for rosegold-cuddles BUT I got locked out of my old account. Sorry. 

Anyways, the prompt was: Steve, Tony and Bucky together with Bucky as a ler, Steve a switch and tony a lee. 

Enoy! ~

Tag List:

Masterpost Link

Two pairs of pounding footsteps approached the couch where Tony Stark lay sleeping, quickly followed by a thud as a certain captain was tackled to the ground. Giggles filled the air as Bucky straddled the war hero, and proceeded to conduct a thorough, hands-on examination of Steve’s ribs and tummy. 

“NOHOHO BUHUHUCK PLEHEHEASE!” He managed to squeal out as the winter soldier drew a breath, and raspberried it into Steve’s bellybutton.

Tony rubbed his eyes, opening his mouth to begin complaining about the noise, when he realised what he two were doing. A light blush rose to his cheeks as he watched Steve beg under Bucky’s careful fingertips, a fate he wouldn’t exactly oppose being subjected to (though he would never admit it).

Bucky, who had been grinning at Steve’s humongous smile during the predicament, noticed the attention the pair were receiving, and gave Tony a wink. Steve twisted and squirmed beneath his friend, feebly fighting against the two hands running up and down his sides, before taking in a deep breath of air as the tickling subsided.

“What’s with the red face, huh Tony?” The winter soldier smirked, while Steve recovered, muttering something about Bucky’s arm being an unfair advantage.

The billionaire stumbled over his words, responded much too quickly with “Nothing!”, before composing himself.

“You two woke me up with your… uh… shenanigans…”

Steve, who by this point had gotten his breath back, grinned up at him. 

“I think someone’s in need of an attitude adjustment, eh Buck?”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Bucky smirked, grabbing Tony before he had a chance to escape.

“No no no no come on guys I-”

“You what? Huh? You… ’re way too ticklish?” The winter soldier teased, wriggling his fingers in the air above the helpless man.

Tony stuttered, giving a few nervous laughs. 

“Or were you waiting for this to happen huh? Itching for some tickles Stark?” Steve brushed his hand against the genius’s neck, drawing out a yelp.

At this point, Tony’s face was a deep crimson, and he couldn’t bear to look at either man in the eyes. He slammed his eyelids shut, awaiting the fate he was doomed to endure for as long as the tormentors desired.

Then the fingers hit.

Tony let out a shriek, then broke down into giggles as Steve attacked his ribs, while Bucky repeatedly squeezed the spot just above his kneecaps, before sprawling his fingers over them.

The normally suave, composed philanthropist, was now squirming and begging at the mercy of two of his closest friends. His entire nervous system was overloaded, he couldn’t think straight, never mind form coherent words. All he could do was scrunch his face up and laugh hysterically, and that’s what he did.

“Really? This is what it takes to take down Earth’s greatest defender?” Steve chuckled as he drilled his thumbs into Tony’s armpits.

After a yelp, Tony managed to giggle out a “Shuhuut up Rogers!”, before descending into mirthful madness.

What felt like both forever and a split second passed, before the two torturers receded their fingers and allowed Tony some breathing room.

“You guys *pant*… such jerks…” He forced his mouth into a hybrid of frowning and pouting.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, before simultaneously giving Tony a shit-eating grin.

“You need to laugh more Tone.” Steve patted the man on the back, chuckling when the billionaire flinched away.

Once the pair had left the room, Tony relaxed. Allowing his smile to reflect his enjoyment of the events which had just taken place. The tickling had been absolutely torturous, and on one hand Tony couldn’t stand even the thought of going through that again. 

But on the other, he had loved every second.

[whatiwillsay]

The fact that on ttpd Taylor is so pissed that she gave it Joe all her youth// she could’ve left any time. Ugh, why are we infantilizing a 35 y/o billionaire? She could’ve easily flipped the narrative to make her look better and make her more money. As much as I love her work, she seems like a perpetual teenager who a. refuses to grow up b. can’t let go of a grudge c. picks fights in her relationships in order for her partners to prove their love for her d. is paranoid about her partners cheating on her when she’s the one with the history of cheating.

I feel like her recent shenanigans are turning me into an anti and that makes me kinda sad. It makes me think that being somewhat out of the spotlight makes her more likable

"she could have left at any time" is such an unrealistic thing to say though. that isn't how relationships work. if your partner whom you love with all your heart and want to spend eternity with if they just work a few things out keeps telling you "no babe this time I'm gonna work it out, I'm gonna get help, this next job will give me the career I want, this next year I'm gonna get on top of things, I'm planning on proposing just give me time, I promise I'll get better soon and we can live happily ever after" it is human nature to listen to that and if you REALLY LOVE THEM A LOT it's gonna be hard not to believe them for a very long time!

she has long admitted she knows she's childish and thinks she got stuck at 16. she told you to find another guiding light. i feel like as fans we can either accept her as who she is or unstan if we don't like who she is but being that fussed over it is not the move. she doesn't present herself as some wise self assured genius (that's how swifties present her but they're wrong) she very openly presents herself as troubled, struggling with mental illness, and owning that she's immature. the fact that she's self aware about a good portion of her shortcomings (not all but a good amount of them.) is enough for me to be able to accept her for who she is right now. but I would recommend unstanning if you can't! but don't be an anti that's so lame. just leave her behind.

[carsonian]

Cap-IM Rec Week: Take A Chance on Me Sunday

This is the last one I'll be doing for Cap-IM Rec Week, and I gotta say, I'm all rec'd out. You could say: I'm w(rec)ked. You could also say: shut the F up, that wasn't funny. Free speech! We're trying to make it a thing.

A massive thank you to the @cap-ironman team for creating the platform for such an awesome event! It's been incredible to celebrate old fic, discover new fic, and feast on the fanart and podfics that don't get nearly enough cred in the fandom. A billion thank yous to them for all their hard work behind the scenes!

Now onto the fic recs, one last time:

"Disney World!" by Captain_Panda

To celebrate Tony’s 48th birthday, Steve and the gang go to the most magical place on Earth: Disney World!

I started reading this series with very ambivalent feelings about Disney World and by the end of this series I would have lain down by own life for ol' Mick the veteran Slick.

"Even Though We Know Love's Landscape" by lazywriter7 (@lazywriter7)

But at the core, he’s the same brand of poor little rich guy that dot the shadowed corners of every charity gala, every award function. Sure, maybe it comes in a ‘genius billionaire playboy philanthropist’ package…but his mettle is common iron. A drop of sea water, a dash of air, and he’d rust right through. She, on the other hand, is made of better stuff. In which Tony compares people to weird things, Steph recites poetry and two dorks fall in love.

I usually don't go in for genderbender shenanigans but I remember coming across this and being like I know that if anyone can make me get into this, it'll be this writer. And fuck me! I was right. This is absolute motherfucking nuts! Wholly earnest character study with the sweetest relationship building. I want to bury myself in this fic like an ostrich buries itself in sand.

"How to Treat An Outcast First-Class" by deervsheadlights (@deervsheadlights)

[...] "You want to the front. You want the engine. And I just so happen to be your only chance of getting there.” Steve’s going to admit, the guy’s got spunk for a naked, first-class omega in ten wagons full of angry alphas who’d give a not-so-figurative limb to get a go at him.

I watched Snowpiercer once and was O.O after so I definitely never expected to find or read fic set in its universe. But holy shit is this written well and holy shit did I have a blastin' good time.

Maybe I don't take enough chances. . .

& for the last time--go forth: SteveTony lovers, fuckers, ambassadors, champions, perverts, freaks, losers, dreamers, legends! Read, re-read, kudo, comment, spread legs and spread love.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Sideshow Bob

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

For over thirty years now The Simpsons has provided the world with all manner of wacky shenanigans.  And when it comes to cartoons, what better way to cause shenanigans than by having a villain show up to wreak havoc? Most often the villain is the decrepit billionaire Mr. Burns, but sometimes you get a hilarious and memorable one-shot character like the affably evil Hank Scorpio. But in the middle, between being a major member of the cast and being a guest character, there is one man: Sideshow Bob.

The man with the palm tree hair and multiple attempted murders under his belt has cemented himself as one of the most iconic antagonists in television history as he seeks vengeance against Bart Simpson for thwarting his original scheme to get Krusty the clown arrested. With a little over a dozen major appearances across the history of the series and zero successes to his name, he is very much the Wile E. Coyote to Bart’s Roadrunner, and it’s typically as funny as that sounds.

But as we all know, many characters on the show have suffered the curse of flanderization, where key parts of their initial personality are magnified until that’s all they’re about, so named because fellow character Ned Flanders had his religious beliefs cranked up to 11 as time went on. The same could be said about Bob, with his desire to kill Bart overriding any sort of closure he receives at the end of every episode… But does this diminish his quality as a villain?

Motivation/Goals: Fitting for an animated sitcom, Bob’s motivations aren’t the most complex in the world. In his first appearance, he merely wanted to frame Krusty to take over his show and turn it into something more high brow, but after Bart helped thwart his schemes his new goal became to murder Bart, and that’s mainly what he’s stuck with. “Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” and “The Day of the Jackanapes” mix things up a bit by having him target Krusty as well, but Bart dying is something that would have inevitably come to fruition if he’d succeeded.

Frankly, this just makes Bob even funnier as a character. This dude has beef with literal fucking children and despite being a genius he literally never wins. He truly is the perfect second banana to a clown, always suffering for the gag while never getting the limelight he feels he deserves.

Performance: Perhaps the single thing that makes Bob stand out is that he has always, in every appearance, been voiced by none other than Kelsey Grammer, AKA Frasier Crane from Cheers and Frasier (Or Beast from X-Men: The Last Stand). I think it’s pretty obvious he kills it as Bob, bringing just the right air of menace and class to have Bob be seen as a legitimate threat while also being able to deliver some great jokes. Also, he gets to sing quite a bit, which is always a treat.

Final Fate: Every single time he appears, Bob is inevitably thwarted and sent to jail, usually worse off than when he started the episode. There are a few unique examples where Bob gets it a bit  worse than usual; “Brother From Another Series” has Bob save the day but then get arrested anyway because Wiggum is a fucking idiot, while “Funeral for a Fiend” features him going completely insane.

Best Episode: It does not matter how much time has passed, “Cape Feare” will always remain the #1 greatest appearance of Sideshow Bob. It has it all: Movie references, musical numbers, murderous plots, and classic gags! And speaking of gags, the episode contains one of the single funniest gags Bob has ever been a part of.

Coming in at a close second would be “Sideshow Bob Roberts,” where Bob rigs an election. The entire episode really shows just how little conservatives have changed over nearly 30 years; the episode aired on October 9, 1994, and its jabs at the right wing are as timeless as ever. It also helps that the episode is a riot, with tons of good gags. “Krusty Gets Busted,” “Black Widower,” “Brother from Another Series,” “The Day of the Jackanapes,” “The Great Louse Detective,” and “The Bob Next Door”  are all solid entries as well, and feature Bob at his most cunning, though they’re always gonna be in the shadow of “Cape Feare” (and “Sideshow Bob Roberts” to a lesser extent).

Best Quote: It’s gotta be this one, if only for the sheer absurdity of how posh Bob makes catcalling sound:

Final Thoughts & Score: Previously I compared Bob to fellow animated antagonist Denzel Crocker, in the sense they both became increasingly flanderized and their roles began to make less and less sense as time went on with the show, with Bob’s murderous impulses never going away even when there’s plenty of reason that they should. Both “Brother From Another Series” and “Day of the Jackanapes” give pretty nice end points for Bob’s arc; the former, if they had cut out the mean-spirited ending, would have had Bob redeemed and finally given him a bit of peace, and the latter has him actually reconciling with Krusty (and getting the death penalty). But they continued to bring him back, with “The Great Louse Detective” also giving a great end point for Bob, complete with a musical number! But then he’s back for “The Italian Bob,” the worst of his appearances, which then ties into his next appearance in “Funeral for a Fiend,” which also gives us a nice stopping point. But no, he keeps coming back with the same goals each and every time: Kill Bart (or sometimes Krusty).

But the thing with Bob compared to Crocker is that while the latter shows up a lot in his series to the point he’s a main antagonist, Bob is used extremely sparingly. He has 15 major appearances over the course of The Simpsons run, with one of those being a “Treehouse of Horror” segment and some of those appearances happening several seasons apart. The lack of oversaturation helps make the flanderization sting a bit less; sure, he’s always sliding back into the same old evil routines, but he doesn’t show up enough where it becomes completely stale. Some of his later appearances end up being a bit less impressive than earlier ones, but he’s still enjoyable enough that none of his episodes are downright awful.

A lot of this is thanks to Kelsey Grammer’s voice work. He’s really a perfect fit for this egotistical, classy attempted murderer, and considering Grammer’s a decently big name thanks to Cheers and Frasier, it’s probably not without reason they use him sparingly. Still, I think what ultimately keeps Bob great compared to a lot of other cartoon villains is that he’s just such a ridiculous concept that it’s hard for him to not end up being fun whenever he appears. This is a former sidekick to a TV clown who wants to murder a small child, he has a long-standing rivalry with rakes, and he enjoys singing opera. He has stolen a nuke, stolen someone’s face, rigged an election, and attempted to assassinate a clown by hypnotizing a child and rigging him with explosives. His schemes are wacky, convoluted, and cartoonish, but Grammer’s performance will convince you that these actions are the most brilliant a criminal could conceive of.

Has Bob lost a little bit of luster over the years? Sure. But much like the show he’s part of, writing him off completely because of a few weaker showings is a bit disingenuous. Bob’s a high 9.5/10, leaning a bit more towards the 10, and maybe they’d get there if they could commit to giving him a proper ending. But hey, even if they never do, I’m not gonna complain when I hear Grammer drop a “Hello, Bart” for the fiftieth time right before Bob steps on a rake.

[arkytiorwrites]

Day 2: If You Love Her

Tony Stark x Reader

We love Tony no matter the year, but 2008 party animal Tony has a special place in my heart.

He’s also the least traumatized, but we don’t talk about that.

Looking around the area that had once been the backyard, I heaved a sigh and shook my head at the shenanigans of the rich., They gave party animals a whole new definition.

Picking my way through the passed out, drunk, and high bodies littering the deck and lawn chairs, I toed off my flip-flops, pulled out my guitar, and sat down beside the pool.

Tony and I had been friends for years, and seeing someone I loved throw himself away like this broke my heart. Yet, when he had invited me to play at a party he

was hosting, I had thought it would be a small, private event. Not... all of Hollywood.

Absently swishing my leg through the cold water, I swiftly tuned my trusty old guitar to play the song that had been looping through my mind for days.

…

Tossing back a finger of bourbon, Tony watched his closest friend begin to play their guitar.

The wild artist had managed to capture his attention in ways no one had ever managed before. They had never cared that he was the Tony Stark, all they wanted was to know Tony. The man behind the genius, billionare, playboy! philanthropist; and for that, he would never be able to repay them.

Just as he was about to call out to them from inside his home, they began to sing.

"Take it,

If he gives you his heart don't you break it.

Let your arms be a place he feels safe in.

He’s the best thing that you'll ever have.”

Their voice resonated off the water, and the guitar added to the soft calm they emitted.

"He always has trouble falling asleep.

And he likes to cuddle under the sheets.

He loves rock songs and dancing, and bad trash TV.

There's still a few other things."

Ever since he had met her all the way back at MIT, the billionaire had struggled with his feelings for the wanderer. The fact that they could go when they chose, and could do anything with little to no repercussions made them all the more alluring.

"He loves love notes and inventions, and likes giving gifts,

Has a hard time accepting a good compliment.

He loves his whole family, and all of his friends,

So, if you're the one he lets in…”

Wait. They couldn't possibly be...

"Take it,

If he gives you his heart don't you break it.

Let your arms be a place he feels safe in.

He's the best thing that you'll ever have-“

Oh, dear God. They were. They were singing about him.

Stepping out onto the patio, attracting their attention to move from the water to him. As their eyes met, everything somehow clicked into place as they continued the lyrics.

"He’ll love you if you love him

On days when it feels like the whole world might cave in.

Stand side by side way and you'll make it.

He's the best thing that you'll have.

He'll love you if you love him like that."

They smiled at him gently as they kept going, clearly intending to get their point across in song. Tony wasn't complaining. Messy hair shifting in the cool ocean breeze, the image before the inventor brought him to the only logical conclusion for the image before him. He had fallen in love with a fae creature of old; and they returned his feelings, and was using their magic to show him.

"Kiss him with passion as much as you can,

Run your hands through his hair whenever he's sad.

And when he doesn't notice how pretty he is,

Tell him over and over so he never forgets!

Take it,

If he gives you his heart don’t you break it.

Let your arms be a place he feels safe in.

He’s the best thing that you'll ever have.

He'll love you if you love him

On days when it feels like the whole world might cave in.

Stand side by side, and you'll make it,

He’s the best thing that you'll ever have.”

Tony didn't want to waste another second, Following the same path that Y/N had taken, he sat down next to them and didn’t pull his gaze away from them for a moment.

“He'll love you of you love him like that

He'll love you if love him like that.

He'll love you if you love him, he'll love you if you love him like that.

Just to love you, just to love you, just to love you

He’ll love you if you love him

On days when it feels like the whole world might cave in.

Stand side by side and you'll make it.

He's this best thing that you'll ever have.

He'll love you if you love him, like that."

They fell silent as the last notes echoed through the yard.

Holding out his hand, Tony wiggled his fingers in invitation, and Y/N accepted. Slotting their fingers together perfectly like they were designed to fit only each other’s.

"How long?" Tony finally asked after a long moment of peaceful silence.

“After I graduated," they admitted softly.

“Really?"

“Yeah, you?"

“Umm…"

Well now he was embarrassed. He'd loved them years before they felt the same. Of course, he had gone and fallen in love with some one who could read him like a large print book.

"You liked me way before that, didn't you?“ they asked. No judgement, just curious if they were right.

"Yeah," Tony admitted.

Y/N just smiled and rested their head on his shoulder; and he knew, come what may, they would stay by his side.

[themculibrary]

Rich/Poor Masterlist

Black AmEx (ao3) - copperbadge G, 4k

Summary: Bruce isn't sure he wants to use a credit card Tony gave him. Steve isn't sure he even knows how.

Can’t Stop Us RoboDads (ao3) - justanotherpipedream, rebelmeg T, 13k

Summary: The story of how a genius rich kid from New York and a poor military-bound kid from South Philly meet, get into shenanigans, birth a few bots, and forge a life-long friendship.

Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend (ao3) - camichats wanda/tony E, 14k

Summary: Wanda ends up as Tony Stark’s sugar baby to help get her through college. Getting into that relationship was the last thing she expected and falling in love came as a surprise to both of them.

Faithless (ao3) - TheZev mary jane watson/tony E, 7k

Summary: While living in Stark Tower, Mary Jane decides she’s had enough of being Peter Parker’s broke wife. Now she’d rather be Tony Stark’s rich sugar baby.

Fund (ao3) - ardett T, 2k

Summary: Peter overshares. Tony oversteps. Things spiral from there.

Or Tony holds Peter’s college fund over his head and Peter doesn’t get into MIT.

I Know Better (ao3) - Fallenstar92 steve/tony T, 1k

Summary: Not_enough_furytony13 said: "Can u please do a fanfic where Steve and tony's roles are reversed (human au though) where Steve is a rich CEO and tony is a broke mechanic of some sort and he's running from an abusive boyfriend and past. And all of steves friends (who are all rich too) are really protective and think tony is just using Steve for his money but eventually figure out from different events with tony and snippets of Tony's past that tony isn't using Steve and genuinely loves him. Can u please also put a lot of angst in it but also a lot of fluff to balance out (I.e. Steve having to sleep on the couch because of a really stupid fight over something cute and trivial, tony having trust issues, the media being very negative or really positive) I really love your writing so I would really love to see your writing with this prompt!❤️❤️"

Iron Heart & America's Shield (ao3) - CMRandles steve/tony E, 17k

Summary: Stony!AU Steve Rogers is the CEO of a non-profit company that provides jobs and counseling for veterans. Tony Stark is a photographer struggling to make ends meet and pridefully refusing help from his billionaire father. Steve needs a genius artist for a marketing campaign that might snatch his company back from the brink of disaster. Tony needs to pay his rent without selling his soul. What could go wrong? Or, perhaps, very very right.

it's always sunny (in the rich man's world) (ao3) - parkrstark T, 7k

Summary: 5 times Peter worries about money...

Living ain’t cheap (ao3) - Strength_in_pain N/R, 2k

Summary: “I thought our utility bill would be lower. Shit shit shit.” May cried, running a hand through her hair. Or Peter is worried about May because their financial struggles have gotten worse and he ends up needing Tony Stark.

making a living ain't easy (ao3) - snarkymuch T, 2k

Summary: Written for this prompt from Raffeale: May and Peter can't afford rent and food anymore. May broke her arm last week. Now, their main source of income is Peter's job, which takes place almost every hour where he isn't at school. Tony finds out after Peter refuses his invitation to come over for the third time in a row. Because of this, Peter keeps giving most of his food to May. Low blood sugar, super high metabolism, and being Spiderman doesn't really mix well (fainting). Protective Tony Stark, Hurt Peter Parker?

peter’s stars (ao3) - IronPengu, parkrstark steve/tony T, 175k

Summary: Steve and Peter lose their apartment and are kicked out on the streets. Steve has to juggle between jobs to earn whatever money he can, take care of his son while resfusing to let him realize how much they’re trouble in, and keep them warm and safe on the city streets in winter.

So, he really doesn’t have time to date the billionaire that flirts with him everyday as he buys his cup of coffee. Even if he did, he can’t let himself fall for the man. Because if he knew that he lived from a backpack and showered in a public bathroom there’s no way he’d still want him…right?

Running (ao3) - kuro steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Steve as a rich and famous artist & Tony as a poor mechanic AU. Or something like that.

[megatraven]

If I may make a request, what do you think of a Batman/Superhero AU for Alex and MC where Alex is the super powered vigilante protecting Not!Gotham City and MC is the intrepid reporter, determined to unmask them who constantly gets into shenanigans which Alex in their hero identity has to constantly rescue them from. (Jury's out on Alex's civilian identity. Whether they're a billionaire genius playboy philanthropist or a broke college student is up to you to decide),

That would fuck severely!!!! Batman is one of my favorite heroes (im not very deep in the lore more like surface level but. i love himb :3)

reporter!mc just works so well for her, chasing after the person who could give her the city's biggest story yet, not knowing they're her childhood best friend........

i think alex's civilian identity is sort of in-between. their mother would be rich, ofc. famous popstar aphrodite and everything. i don't think they have to worry financially at all, but i do think they have a job regardless in addition to the superheroing. they like to be independent. maybe they own their own apartment/flat/whatever. they can stand on their own two feet but they're modest about it and work tirelessly on helping others in worse situations. big humanitarian/philanthropist, just not necessarily super rich

[buckyownsmylife]

Let me try - Tony Stark smut

The one where you're the only person who can get Tony to do his tasks

Warnings: smut, fingerfucking, oral sex (f), crying from oversensitivity, mentions of being shared, cursing, a bit of comedy, (typical Tony shenanigans)

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: MY FIRST TONY FIC! I’d like to thank @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for entertaining my perverted mind with the conversation that prompted this story! I hope you guys like it!

“Y/N!” Sighing, you got up from the couch fully aware of what it was that you were about to be asked to do. There was only one reason for Steve to yell your name like that, coming from the general direction of where Tony’s lab was located.

“Is there a reason why you’re screaming my name?” You sassed, coming to a stop in front of your captain and crossing your arms to mirror his position. “I was busy, you know?” For a second, Steve’s brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and guilt, but that was before he realized what time of day it was.

“Watching RuPaul’s Drag Race is not being busy!” He argued, earning himself a masterful roll of your eyes, if you could say so of yourself.

“It is when I’ve told you time and time again that I should not be bothered during it! I’ve even blocked the time off in my schedule AND yours so you have no excuse to be interrupting me.” That did it. Steve finally lost his grumpy composure and accepted defeat, sighing before meeting your eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he relented. “It’s just that you’re the only one who can get through to him when he’s like this, you know that.” It was your turn to sigh as you glanced at the door you both were stationed in front of. Tony’s lab laid behind it.

It wasn’t a welcoming environment in ordinary times, considering how messy the genius could get on a daily basis, but the fact that he had locked himself in it for the last week or so made it even less appealing for the rest of the team to invade.

Which was precisely why Steve was resorting to you now.

“We need him to go over the footage of last week’s mission with that program that can track patterns so we can decide what to do tomorrow. We’ve been waiting all this time, but it can’t be put off any longer.” You rubbed your temples, shooting the media room one last longing glance before sighing as you accepted your faith.

“Okay, I’m going in. But you owe me big time, Rogers.” The blond man just nodded, truly thankful that he was able to convince you so quickly. You narrowed your eyes at him from over your shoulder, watching as he scrambled off to wherever it was that he would run in fear of encountering the beast that Tony could turn into when he got into these moods.

And then you smiled, facing the man who had his back to you. This was going to be fun.

In all honesty, you probably would have hurried to follow Steve’s instructions if it wouldn’t have been met with mistrust and confusion from the team leader.

Ever since the rest of the gang realized you had a way of getting Tony to do what they needed him to, you’d been growing more and more comfortable with the role, especially since he was such a softie for you and only you.

What no one knew was that for a while now, you and the billionaire had come up with the perfect scheme to get him to do anything. It was only up to you and the bargaining leverage you had on the genius.

“What is it now?” He groaned, turning around with an irritated look on his face that immediately melted as he took you in, standing by the door with your little dress and naughty smile. You even kept your hands behind your back, and Tony couldn’t help the smirk that spread over his face. “Spill it out. I know you’re the only one who wouldn’t come bother me so there must be something they need me to do.”

Grinning, you approached him with cautious steps, taking in his form. He had showered - his hair was still damp from it - and he didn’t look as tired as he used to be before you insisted that he reformed the lab to make a room for him downstairs. Now he actually used it after a few one-nighters, when he still couldn’t be bothered to interact with people but knew you’d be pissed if you caught him not taking care of himself.

“You know me so well.” He just scoffed, but still smiled as he kept working on whatever gadget it was that he was fixing or coming up with. You jumped to take a seat on the table next to it, and he glanced in your direction, eyes getting stuck on your exposed thighs for a few seconds before he managed to reel himself in. “Steve wants you to go over the footage of last week’s mission.”

As expected, Tony only hummed, faining disinterest. You didn’t doubt that he was 100% unbothered by the perspective of the activity that was expected of him - he would have done it by now if it was something that he thought would matter.

What you knew he was hiding was the excitement of what you both knew was coming, the tingling of anticipation as you sighed and faked defeat. “Alright. If you do this, I’ll let you eat me out for as long as you want.”

That got him to stop fiddling with his tool and actually stop to look at you. One hand on his hips, he pursed his lips, taking in your offer. “And I get to play with you while the footage rolls,” he bargained, and you shivered. The thought of spending the next two to three hours with Tony’s digits deep inside of you, while you weren’t allowed to cum was as close to torture as you could imagine.

And still it was torture you couldn’t wait to endure.

“Deal.”

Who knows how long had passed when Steve came to look for you? The footage had been reviewed, after what could only be described as a painful torment, and now you had Tony’s face against your pussy, tongue lapping your third release as his fingers remained buried to the knuckle inside of you, juices dripping down your thighs.

“Tony!” Steve had yelled when he slammed the door open, only to grow silent as he took in the sight in front of him.

“What?” The genius barked, not even bothering to lift his face from your oversensitive cunt. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” And like you were the one to blame, Tony curled his fingers to rub against your sweet spot, making you whimper as the captain took in the state Tony had put you in.

At Steve’s lack of response, Tony snickered, face finally parting from your pussy after at least a couple of hours to look you in the eye. “I think he wants to have a little taste, darling…” He taunted. “Would you like me to scoot over so he can try you out?”

Steve’s eyes widened as Tony’s hand fell over your pussy, making you cry out - more in pleasure than anything else.

“Greedy little girl,” he admonished, having felt the way you clenched at his suggestion of sharing you with another man. “You should know better by now.” He shook his head while tears slipped from the corners of your eyes, trailing down your cheek. “This is mine, you are all mine.”

You knew there was no way Steve would keep this away from the rest of the team, so after he left and Tony at last grew tired of making you cum on his face, you two got ready for the onslaught of questions that would certainly be coming your way the very next day.

You just hadn’t anticipated it’d be right around breakfast.

“What the fuck is going on between the two of you?” Steve questioned, clearly out of his head since you had never heard him speak with such language. But you only frowned, aided by Tony’s hand over your thigh and his warm chuckle right by your ear.

He still didn’t like to wake up early, so it was safe to say that the two of you simply hadn’t slept at all.

“Hey, it works!” You defended yourself, frowning at the judgment in Steve’s face. “If I want him to eat…” You started, being interrupted by Tony.

“She’s dessert.”

“If I want him to work…” You proceeded with a nod, accepting his addition, as crude as it sounded.

“She’s the reward.”

“And if I want him to sleep…” You tried to finish, but once again Tony came through with what had to be the worst way to force your teammates to accept your relationship.

“She just lets me use her body until I pass out from how hard I cum inside her little pussy.”

“Ew.” Bucky cringed, throwing his spoon on his abandoned half-eaten cereal bowl. “Okay, that’s enough, now.”

“Yeah, anything to consider this conversation over,” Wanda agreed, covering her ears as she signaled to Vision that she was leaving the kitchen and that he should follow. “Whatever it takes, we’re happy for you, just don’t be gross anymore.”

You giggled quietly to yourself, attention finally lowering to the cup of coffee between your hands until a squeeze on your thigh alerted you there was still one person who hadn’t abandoned the room.

One person who hadn’t accepted your relationship.

“Tell you what, Cap…” Tony offered, running his finger over his bottom lip. “I’ll let you fuck her once if it’ll get you off my back.” You let out an indignant, “Hey!”, prepared to slap Tony in the face when you witnessed Steve’s eyes dart from you to your not-so-secret boyfriend, arms still crossed in front of his chest.

“Deal.”

[goggles-mcgee]

FUCK FREUD CLUB SHENANIGANS because I didn't think people would enjoy my little idea so much and I have more to share!

• Harley who may have been drinking a bit: "I gotta admit Brucie babe, I, like many of our classmates, had a little crush on you!"

Jonathan who was getting more comfortable without wearing his Scarecrow hood, also who has been drinking too: "Confession, I also had a crush on you Wayne."

Bruce, now blushing and wondering if he made the Sangria too strong for this week's club meeting: "Well I'm flattered. If we're being honest here, I did have a crush on you Crane after you went off on Professor Kingsley when he said Freud was a genius."

Jonathan, now also slightly blushing: "Stop Mister Wayne or the media will somehow get wind of that and it'll be the new scandal."

Harley: "Speaking of scandal! Have you guys heard about the latest fight Pengy and Riddler had? I heard they legit got into a fight in front of the Bat!"

Sometimes their club meetings turns into gossip sharing.

• Harley bursting into Bruce's Study with Jonathan right behind her: "You're being played by George Clooney!?"

Jonathan: "You agreed to be the secret identity of Batman!?"

Bruce who was plotting Jason's second funeral and Tim's first: "My son's forged my signature on those papers. Then the other's heard about it and got so excited and I couldn't back out! Especially after Cass made me a card! She made me a card!"

Harley: "Pushover."

Jonathan: "People pleaser."

Bruce with his head in his hands: "Arnold Schwarzenegger is Mr. Freeze....Uma Thurman is Poison Ivy....Should I be worried that they'll attack me more after the movie?"

Harley now super excited: "They're in the movie!?"

• Jonathan standing next to a white board as he hosts this week's club meeting: "Today's club meeting will start off with our absolute favorite thing we hate about Freud. After that Harley has designed a Family Feud style game where Bruce, you and I will go against each other and guess Freud's stupidest idea's and studies based off Harley's questions. Winner takes home the homemade Fuck Freud Trophy which is a golden hand giving off the middle finger."

Bruce and Harley lifting up their hands in unison and solemnly flipping off a picture of Freud: "Fuck Freud."

• Bruce being held "hostage" by Two-Face before looking at the clock: "Oh shit. Harv? Can we like, reschedule this? I have a club meeting and I'm in charge of snacks this week."

Two-Face: "You...want to reschedule a hostage situation? For a club?"

Bruce, completely serious: "Yes."

• Harley got them Letterman jackets for the club, of course personalized. Jon even got them mugs for the club. Bruce caved and got them pens and pins made for the club.

His kids do not understand why he goes along with the club but they have also never seen their dad so normal and happy.

Clark gets jealous.

• Bruce walking in late to a club meeting with Starbucks for everybody: "You would not believe the nightmare I had last night."

Jonathan already pulling out a clipboard and pen: "Tell us all about it."

Harley coughing to hide her chuckles: "Yes tell the dream psychologist that has a nightmare kink all about your scary dream."

Jonathan who is blushing now, is it in anger? Is it in embarrassment? Who knows: "One class! One dream psychology class! And I do not have a fear kink!"

Bruce finally taking his seat: "Denial. Interesting. Now let's acknowledge the fact that Harley said you had a nightmare kink not fear kink. Do you want to discuss that further Mr. Crane?"

Jonathan throwing a pen at Bruce: "We were talking about you not me Rich Boy!"

Bruce and Harley cackling.

• Jonathan and Harley are still villains but they kind of start to edge into the anti-hero stage of things. Nobody knows why expect Bruce and he's so proud.

• They actually call each other on their bad days. Harley yelled at Bruce about being more open with his kids and he actually really took it to heart. Jon got collectively yelled at about his self esteem issues and taking better care of himself because no Jon, a human can't just survive off corn and sweet tea. Harley had a tough love session when Bruce and Jon had to tell her just how bad Joker was to her and yeah she realized that but she shouldn't be afraid to get into a relationship with someone just because of that past toxic relationship.

• Bruce's kids actually start to get comfortable with Harley and Jonathan being around the house from time to time. It's still weird to them but they see first hand the changes that all three are going through.

• Bruce babysits Lou and Bud for Harley whenever she needs him too or if she gets in trouble and is sent to Arkham. Damian loves helping out with them.

• Batman may or may not have taken the long way to the university when he heard Scarecrow took over the Psych 101 class because the teacher was obviously incompetent Bats. He was teaching young impressionable minds!

• Bruce admits to them that he hates the whole 'Playboy Billionaire' role he used to play and can't seem to escape from. Especially because he's a dad now, it's not like he can really afford to be a playboy.

• Harley insists on teaching Bruce how to fight because she can't believe how often he gets himself into bad situations.

Jonathan agrees about this and even gives Bruce some of his Fear Toxin in case he ever has to use it in defense to get away from anyone. He even put it in a pepper spray-like bottle so it would go unnoticed.

I have so much more headcanons but here are a few XD

Enjoy

[niniblack]

Extraction by Nini Black

Peter Parker has several parental figures: a hippie aunt, a dorky uncle, an absentee father, and a deceased mother. Trying to find out more about his mother got him bitten by a radioactive spider last week, which resulted in superpowers (awesome!) while his dad’s mysterious government job has just gotten him kidnapped and dragged halfway around the world (not awesome!) The last person he’s expecting to be rescued by is Tony Stark, famous mostly for being rich and famous, but at this point he’ll take anyone who’s not pointing a gun in his face. Tony Stark—genius, billionaire, philanthropist, and SHIELD consultant—would really rather be examining the shiny scepter that the Avengers just recovered and charging an exorbitant fee for offering his expertise on it, but he’s a sucker for missions involving kids and Natasha knows it. It’s just his luck that absolutely nothing is going to plan, and what should have been an easy in-and-out rescue op has turned into a race through Madripoor with a scared, untrained teenager, and half the city out to kill him. An AU of Extraction, minus the drug cartels and plus the typical Marvel shenanigans.

I know, I got super creative with the title lol.

Anyway, some tags to entice you to this one: Extraction AU, Kidnapping, Kidnapped Peter Parker, Gun Violence, really a lot of gun violence, Graphic Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Shield Consultant Tony Stark, Tony Stark is not Iron Man, BAMF Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has a Heart, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Madripoor, SHIELD, HYDRA, Alive Richard Parker, Richard Parker’s A+ Parenting, Canonical Character Death, but not in the same way it happens in canon, rescue missions.

This is the fic with the car chase, if you've seen me share that scene in the past.

[ao3feed-irondadspiderson]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42822285

Extraction by niniblack Peter Parker has several parental figures: a hippie aunt, a dorky uncle, an absentee father, and a deceased mother. Trying to find out more about his mother got him bitten by a radioactive spider last week, which resulted in superpowers (awesome!) while his dad’s mysterious government job has just gotten him kidnapped and dragged halfway around the world (not awesome!) The last person he’s expecting to be rescued by is Tony Stark, famous mostly for being rich and famous, but at this point he’ll take anyone who’s not pointing a gun in his face. Tony Stark—genius, billionaire, philanthropist, and SHIELD consultant—would really rather be examining the shiny scepter that the Avengers just recovered and charging an exorbitant fee for offering his expertise on it, but he’s a sucker for missions involving kids and Natasha knows it. It’s just his luck that absolutely nothing is going to plan, and what should have been an easy in-and-out rescue op has turned into a race through Madripoor with a scared, untrained teenager, and half the city out to kill him. An AU of Extraction, minus the drug cartels and plus the typical Marvel shenanigans. Words: 8212, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: Gen Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Ben Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man), Richard Parker, Obadiah Stane Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Obadiah Stane & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Richard Parker Additional Tags: extraction AU, Kidnapping, Kidnapped Peter Parker, Gun Violence, really a lot of gun violence, Graphic Violence, Not Canon Compliant, SHIELD Consultant Tony Stark, Tony Stark is Not Iron Man, BAMF Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Madripoor (Marvel), Hydra (Marvel), Richard Parker's A+ Parenting, Canonical Character Death, but not the same way it happens in canon, Rescue Missions

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Reasons for Steve/Tony divorce (based on the idea Tony isn’t 100% sure what happened):

Skrull/body swap/mind control shenanigans

Steve did SOMETHING on a mission and thinks he’s not worthy of Tony anymore and pulls away

Steve is being blackmailed by his enemies and is trying to keep Tony safe by breaking his heart

Steve was way younger then Tony when they got married and has a belated wild 20's yearning and he needs a kick in the pants from himself at 20 something to be like, you are doing what?!?

They worked to much and didn’t have time for each other and are paying the price now

Based on the movie Click (2006) by mentally time travelling Steve has been on auto pilot in the years between and so Tony's like, do I even make you happy anymore?? (Don’t watch Click (2006) the actual way this plot point plays out issssss grroooosssssss like most of that movie. But that one idea is fun)

Someone got cursed and this somehow breaks the spell

If we think, Tony does know and Steve needs to sus it out

Their canon divorces aka Civil War bullshit or something based on it

Tony is sick and dying and trying to “spare” Steve

Tony’s drinking is getting out of hand and Steve can’t bare to watch anymore

Tax/inheritance reasons (lol) maybe connected to #5…

They never actually confessed their feelings, it was a fake!married situation and now it’s time to unmarry

Someone has convinced Tony Steve will happier without him during a rough patch and he believed them

not the movie Click (2006) lmfaooo!!!

((((cannot stress anon's warning enough do NOT go watch Click (2006)))))

imagine being their divorce lawyers and having to pause the proceedings because one of the parties' past selves mentally time traveled into the body of their current self which had actually been replaced by a shape-shifting being who is part of a hostile alien race that strategically infiltrated Captain America and Iron Man's marriage to initiate their divorce because that was step 1 in their genius master plan to destroy the galaxy lol i would simply Retire

But also omg these are all SUCH good angst fodder!!! i absolutely adore numbers 2 & 4 as reasons they divorce when Tony doesn't know what's going on and numbers 2, 3, & 6 as reasons they divorce when Steve doesn't know.

Especially the one about Steve having a mid-life crisis and feeling really resentful about all the life experiences he never got to have because he's been married to Tony for essentially all of his adult life. Sometimes real life is just super complicated, just because they're superheroes doesn't mean they're exempt from all those messy emotions. Everyone knows the feeling of forgetting how to appreciate what you've got until it's too late and what you had is gone and your past self somehow travels to the present day and he's just as hopelessly head-over-heels in love with your soon-to-be-ex-husband as you were back then and gives you the Captain America Lecture To End All Captain America Lectures once he finds out that not only did you two finally get together and actually get married (😍🥳🤩🥹🥰), but you're also about to get divorced (🤬😔😭😖😰) because what?? being married to a beautiful brilliant billionaire genius inventor who's got an ass that won't quit and a mouth that feels like heaven and loves you so much he's willing to let you go just because it's what YOU want isn't enough for you??

... okay maybe not everyone knows that specific feeling but my point still stands

[queer-cosette]

some book headcanons

Marinette loves the Ruby Redfort series by Lauren Child. She grew up with Charlie And Lola, Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Book, and Clarice Bean so Ruby Redfort was naturally the next step. Anyway, stylish 13-year-old super-genius with a secret double life saving the world? Marinette projects so hard. Her fave is Look Into My Eyes because she relates so heavily to basically the entire plot. She’s got her hopes up that Hawkmoth when she meets him in person will be at least as cool a villain as the Count. She’s gonna be really disappointed when it turns out he’s just a Grade-A Asshole Billionaire with Grief Issues.

Alya adores Ellen Potter’s Olivia Kidney series. Sarcastic pre-teen solving ghost mysteries in New York City? Sign her the fuck up. Alya is tempted to search the Paris subway for French Subway Ghosts, but is aware that this will probably destroy the last of Marinette’s sanity. She kinda hopes a ghost will move into her apartment building so she can have her own supernatural adventure. Her favourite is Olivia Kidney: Hot On The Trail because it includes subway ghosts, Alice In Wonderland references galore, and two heartbreaking murder mysteries.

Adrien was introduced to Ally Sparks’ books while visiting Amelie and Félix in London. He started them then gave up, but after his mom disappeared he picked up Frozen In Time and it spoke to him (uncertainty about what happened to your missing parent? found family? scientific shenanigans? it’s perfect). After he met Ladybug though, his favourite became Dark Summer (a teenage boy longing to escape the monotony of family that doesn’t really feel like family meets a mysterious girl who shows him a magical world that he can go and see whenever he wants).

Nino loves Michelle Paver’s Gods And Warriors series. They’re what got him into adventure-horror, and if he’s being honest, if he ever makes it big as a director he wants to adapt them into a movie series. Burning Shadow is his favourite, just because it really is full of mounting suspension with a genuinely creepy turning point, exactly what supernatural horror should be. He kinda wanted a pet lion cub for a while because of Havoc.

[ad1thi]

underrated stevetony fics rec list (P2)

this is ridiculously late and im so sorry, but here’s part 2 of this list!!

//

sweet lips on my lips (kiss like real people do).: @nethandrake

Frankly, if anyone told Tony that he’d be carried out of a burning building, well, he would’ve laughed in their faces. And if they were being extra mean about it, he probably would’ve even thrown them across the Atlantic.

After all, he’s Tony Stark. And Tony Stark always makes sure he has a safety net installed in his armor for emergencies, so it wouldn’t be out of commission before the building decided to collapse onto itself.

And yet, here he is, his armor out of commission, and being carried out of a burning building.

Carried out of a burning building by Steven Grant Rogers.

(In which Tony's from Civil War and Steve's from Infinity War. It's a problem.)

Rising: @withstarryeyes

Heat is licking up his sides and he groans, feeling his knees turn wobbly, and fumbles his way to the wall of the elevator. The metal is blessedly cool on his forehead and he sighs, eyes burning when he closes them. It’s still dark outside and every fiber of Tony’s being is telling him to go back to bed but he has work to do and plans to make and a blueprint open on his desk in the lab, Fury approved, and he can’t not do his job. So he musters all his strength and pushes off the wall when the elevator lands, ignoring his wet hacking as he moves.

He falls before he makes it to the bench, his top coated in sweat, and his eyes shutting to the whirling sensation that takes his breath away and leaves him panting in nauseated gasps. His hand shakes from where it’s planted on the ground, keeping him up.

the square root of infinity: @firebrands

steve and tony have their first fight. tony doesn't handle it well.

A Social Engagement: @finduilasclln

Written for the prompt: “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

Steve agrees to something without fully comprehending what it means. Modern times are confusing.

Wounds Without A Bandage: @gotthesilver

Tony burrows deeper in his blankets, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to forget the last year. Taking control of Stark Industries was one thing, even if it had been a shock to Obie and the rest of the board when Tony came of age and started dispensing of all his dad’s old cronies, but SI’s exploration team actually finding Steve? Tony deciding Steve should come live with him? Tony has regrets.

Well.

He has regrets this morning.

Before last night, the most Tony regretted in relation to Steve was not jumping him the moment it became clear all his faculties were intact and that Tony hadn’t defrosted a brain dead Captain America.

Love Like A Hunger: @gotthesilver

Pushing the door open to the bedroom, Steve pauses at what he sees. “Tony? I—”

“Surprise?”

“I—” Steve swallows, taking in the sight of Tony, blood instantly going to his cock as he looks him up and down. “You look—wow.”

Tony’s got on a damn Princess Leia outfit, gold curling around his chest and hips, with red fabric skimming over his crotch, and Steve’s brain feels like it’s shut down.

The Night Shift: @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

the james braincell: @starklysteve

“Right. How do we get them to admit they love each other?”

In front of him, Bucky brings out a metal flask and takes a swig out of it. “Hell if I know. You’re the genius who went to MIT.”

“I studied aerospace engineering,” Rhodey rolls his eyes, “not how to get two idiots to kiss.”

-------

Or, Bucky and Rhodey are the braincells.

In a desperate last ditch attempt, they set Steve and Tony up for a blind date.

Steve and Tony don't know that their date is each other. But they might have a braincell of their own. Might.

the good place (is next to you): @starklysteve

“I mean,” Tony tries his best shot at breaking the tension, “if you’re stuck with the wrong guy, at least I’m sexier than your real deal?”

Tony died and got sent to some sort of heaven, with Captain America as his soulmate. Except, they got the wrong Anthony Stark, and to stay in the Good Place, Tony must convince Steve to teach him how to be good.

-x-

(watching The Good Place is not necessary to understand this AU, but will help)

president captain america: @livingtheobsessedlife

He’s supposed to be campaigning to be elected as president of the United States, not pining over some billionaire he met at one of his campaign events. And yet, Steve can’t seem to get genius, philanthropist (and his newest big-time donor) Tony Stark out of his head.

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

Between Two Infinities: @/anonymous

The Titanic, 1946. Steven Grant Rogers did not think that going to war would end up with him being three times his normal size with superstrength and agility to boot, and... rich...but hey, he wasn’t complaining. Steve also didn’t expect to fall out of love- if it was even love in the first place- with the woman he was explicitly told to propose to, and instead fall for a formerly rich, formerly a playboy, still a genius, Tony Stark. Especially because, you know, it was a little tiny bit illegal, and he was supposed to be “America’s Golden Boy”, as Bucky put it.

All Tony expected out of the trip was to escape Europe with his best friend thanks to a lucky game of blackjack. He didn’t think he’d find himself having sex in the back of a car located in the cargo hold of the Titanic, or almost jumping off said ship. But that was just the life of a rogue Stark child, wasn’t it? At least Peggy was nice. Her dad, not so much.

A Thief Like Tony Stark: @dontholdthiswarinside

Tony is a high ranking criminal, known for his talent to disappear. Steve is a disillusioned soldier who needs some cash.

And some people will always be heroes, no matter what they do for a living.

The Things We Can’t Unsee: @/orphan-account

The mission was simple: get in, gather information, get out. Of course, Steve never really expected the enemy to follow this plan. One way or the other, something was bound to happen. They were the Avengers, after all. Nothing ever went easy for them.

What Steve didn’t expect was it going as far as it did; he didn’t expect having to make a decision that nobody should have to make.

Now Bucky’s lying there, bloody and dying all because of him, and Natasha’s poisonous words keep ringing in his head. Thinking about the ring he carries with him every day, Steve knows she’s right.

He’d never be able to make that call if it were Tony.

The Last Barman Poet: @nativemossy

Tony wasn't expecting anything more than dealing with a tequila-drunk Clint and a slightly wrinkled suit on this trip to Mexico. He got plenty more than he bargained for when he catches the eye of a handsome vacationer at the swim-up bar. Tipsy shenanigans ensue.