#June 2019 Favorites

[rabbitcruiser]

Madagascar! opened on June 20, 2008.

[raven]

Whatever... Persona 5 manga time. its still ongoing so its the only additional media to do royal ive heard, which is wild i wonder how theyre dealing with maruki. they could add in sumire later and still make sense and akechi was popular enough that they couldve seen the signs and put in more scenes with him early on, but maruki is definitely someone who needed to be there asap

[onlyswan]

summary: in which jungkook is giving up on you but you have so much love left to give.

> idol!jungkook x f!reader / angst, fluff, suggestive / wc: 8.3k

> warnings: mention of infidelity (no one did u can breathe ily), mention of a classmate slipping their number in oc’s pocket and oc feeling unsafe, mention of puking, mentions & allusion to s/x, alcohol consumption, making out, boob!e fondle, gr*nding kinda? jungkook is hard™️ they’re so in love it’s sickening

> in which masterlist!

playlist! and if/or when - ruel / hate everything - jungkook cover (gsoul) / hits different - taylor swift / statue - lil’ eddie / i wouldn’t ask you - clairo (i had to get in the zone & this is so oc-coded i need u to listen i’m so srs)

next: in which you don’t want to give up jungkook (even when he gave you reasons to, even if they give you reasons to).

note: this was a journey. happened back in june 2019.!! i’m ripping off the bandaid <3 deep sigh writing this made me realize how my babies have come so far. hopefully will follow up with a fluffy fluff lowkey inspired by the underwear live soonest lols i’m excited for it 2 stay tuned 🫂 reblogs & feedback are much appreciated <3

—

you forgot the walls of the apartment building you’re living in are thin. a small portion of the white paint has been chipped off, it looks like a birth mark, you note — except it’s not, and you’re the one who caused the irregularity.

your favorite glass is scattered across the kitchen floor, reduced to shards and to sparkling pieces almost as miniscule as dust. you don’t know what came over you. you don’t know why you threw it at the wall instead of filling it with cold water to only drink three sips like you usually do.

just when you thought you’ve been faring well in holding yourself together today, a fresh wave of sorrow overwhelms you. your knees buckle as you begin weeping, the loudest you’ve been since this nightmare has started. it swallows the knocking sounds at your door, but it’s still not loud enough to quell jungkook’s quivering voice playing like a broken record on loop inside your head.

“we should end this… i think it’s for the best, before we get drained.”

the rain is coming down fiercely and you’re freezing inside his car, parked outside your apartment. after all, his balenciaga windbreaker can only do so much against the blasted airconditioner. your throat is painfully dry, and your hands and face are numb from the piercing cold. but those are the least of your concerns because you feel like your head had just been dunked in ice water. the sting in your eyes are burning warmer as the seconds fly by and the muffled sounds of the torrential raindrops drum frantically in your ears. they’re clouding the car windows, mirroring jungkook’s tear-stained cheeks.

“i’m leaving again in three weeks. and i’m leaving again next year… and i’ll be gone again soon after that for a long time. i-i don’t know when i’m coming home, ___.” he pauses. the heel of palms press against his eyes, as if that could possibly barricade the saltwater leaking from them. “i never know where my life is taking me and you have your own… there’s too much-too much going on. i think that i’m just wasting your time, that this isn’t- it’s not going anywhere.”

“open the door! hello?! ___!”

“what do you want?!” you seeth in annoyance, swinging the door open to reveal your pesky neighbor.

he scratches the top of his head awkwardly at the sight of the mess that you greeted him with, having not bothered to pretend that you weren’t wailing your heart out.

”hey, i know you’re going through something…” his lips remain parted as he struggles to find the correct word, his right eye twitching voluntarily. “soul-crushing? right now. but i heard glass breaking and i was concerned that you, uhm, might’ve hurt yourself.”

the apparent nervousness and sincerity in his actions pull you out from the isolating disassociation you’ve imprisoned yourself in. you feel humiliated, presenting yourself in your most pitiful form infront of a kid two years younger than you. you envy him for having it together after storming out of his parents’ house while you-

“i’m not hurt. it was just an accident.”

you’re shamelessly lying infront of his face because the truth makes you feel too ashamed of yourself.

he only nods, smiling in relief. “i don’t know how to help make you feel better, so i just brought honey like i used to do before.”

you sigh, the familiar jar of honey and its red checkered lid waving at you like an old friend. has it been a year?

“bro, i told you i can’t accept this anymore.”

“you and your boyfriend already broke up. what’s the big deal?”

you have never wanted to smack someone more, the genuine confusion painted on his face feels like an infuriatingly harsh slap to yours.

“he wasn’t threatened by your honey, you dipshit. we just found out my blood sugar was getting a bit high!”

“oh- i’m so-”

you angrily slam the door shut. the silence you’re left with is suffocating, and you find yourself breaking down again.

he jumps in surprise when you open the door again, yelling- “and we’re not broken up!” before ripping away the jar of honey from his sweaty palms. he’s left completely flabbergasted, an inexplicable heaviness weighing on his chest when he hears your sniffling from the other side of the hard-wood.

“does that mean i can deliver again next week? i have too much in my kitchen…”

he doesn’t receive a snarky answer, surprisingly, so he continues talking.

“and f-y-i, your left cheek is bleeding! you might want to check on that!”

—

“you didn’t even give me any signs…”

you inhale a deep, shaky breath in a fragile attempt of keeping your composure. you want to scream, rip apart this thick tension with your bare hands, and force him to admit that this is just some kind of sick joke. you finally see him in person after months and all he has for you is a gift bag filled to the brim with heartbreak. this is too casually cruel, not something you would’ve expected from your jungkook.

“do you really mean that? or is there something else you’re not saying…? look at me.” you plead, weakly tugging at the hem of his long-sleeved shirt. the horrors of long-distance relationship stories claw their way out of your skin, adding fuel to the fire of your deepest fear. “you didn’t cheat on me, right? that can’t be it. we- we always-”

after you ended your last relationship, you cried at the parking lot of your university and continued living your life the next morning as if nothing happened at all. you did it all for yourself, anyway. he was gradually tearing down your confidence and your dignity; and you didn’t want to become a person the future you would despise for not being wiser, stronger.

and here you are at present day: spending the cozy sunday night solving chemistry problems on your desk. you have a blue bandaid plastered on your face and a cheek full of fruit and honey. and you would say you’re fine, but jungkook wasn’t here to sweetly dote on you while treating your wound. he isn’t here to taste the honey from your lips with that coquettish smirk of his. he isn’t laying on your bed, fighting to stay awake because he wants to fall asleep with you as his pillow.

no matter how hard you try to shut out this thought, it keeps knocking on the door. he’s going to be doing these sweet nothings for a different person when he finally reaches a more stable place in his life. you want to kneel on the ground, beg the heavens to meddle with destiny and never let you hear about it.

because that means he will never set foot in your apartment again, and the personal belongings you left in his room will be thrown out to erase the traces you left behind.

so this is how it begins.

the ugliest parts of you are swimming to the surface, tying themselves around your ankles because jungkook took away the ground from beneath your feet after unearthing your soul and… nothing makes sense to you anymore. if you wake up every morning to tend to your garden, and you look outside the window to learn that the sun has stopped burning, what do you have left?

your lips inevitably curve into a frown, but you inhale a sharp breath, patting your eyes dry before they can smudge the black ink on your notepad. and then you dip a strawberry in honey for the third time.

—

“no, baby, no- that’s not it.”

the dread and insecurity weaved into the cracks of your voice fill him with nausea and panic. he captures your frigid hand with haste, firmly holding it to his pounding chest.

“i would never do that to you. just the thought alone fucking disgusts me… you’re the only one. you’ve ruined me for everybody else.”

“then why are you giving up on me? am i becoming a burden?”

jungkook feels painfully numb, mind floating as the buildings outside the window get left behind him as a mere, passing blur.

“yah, jungkook-ah. are you crying?”

a torturous moment of silence passes as he struggles to find his voice. his tongue is tied, and his lost eyes are betraying the nights he spent practicing how to explain himself to you. back then, the reasoning he curated made sense. but faced with the consequences of his actions, the love of his life’s brain running a thousand miles per hour, recording a tale of woe and heartache on his passenger seat — he has never felt this much loathing for himself and his weaknesses.

you release a shaky breath, patting his rosy cheeks dry with your sleeves. you smile at him kindly, and he watches you in sheer disbelief. he can’t fathom the perpetual luck he’s been blessed with that he met, who he believes to be, the purest soul to grace this corrupted world. they’re damp with your tears, so it’s practically useless, but the sweet gesture is a stray beam of sunlight in the midst of the dull gray clouds.

the comforting rubs on his shoulder extracts him from his torturous thoughts, and only then does he feel the wetness on his face.

“you’ve been holding it back for the past week. just cry it out.”

he nods wordlessly, hiding himself in the fleece blanket from his lap. yoongi can feel a lump forming in his throat as he witnesses his youngest brother breaking down, jungkook’s pain also being his pain. as a group who’s been living together for the past decade, no one will be able to empathize with them as well each other. especially during times like this.

“___ hasn’t called?”

jungkook shakes his head wistfully, wiping away the tears that slid down his nose. he is dying to send you a text message, worried sick, and still used to hearing about your day the same way he is used to sleeping on his stomach.

“hyung,” the sound of the word borders on a sob. “it’s over. this is killing me… it’s all my fault.”

“but isn’t that what you wanted?”

“exactly. so why am i crying?” his hands ball into closed fists. “i’m an asshole.”

“enough of that!” yoongi loudly whines out his scolding. ”we all know you had your reason.”

“but, hyung, i fucked up!” he tenses up, blurting out the acknowledgement that’s been haunting him day and night. “she told me the most romantic thing and i felt so… fuck, i’m so angry at myself. i ruined everything. and i’m scared that i’d end up making things worse if i try fixing it.”

“stop beating yourself up. we can’t solve things this way.” yoongi grabs a bottle of water from the cupholder between them, twisting the cap open before handing it to jungkook. “drink first.”

once he starts drinking, he realizes that his throat has been awfully dry and sore. it’s most probably best for him to rest his voice. he can already foresee the concert rehearsal being absolute hell tomorrow. if he can’t sing, he doesn’t know how else he’s supposed to keep himself sane.

“talk to me. what did she say?”

“you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, do you know that?”

and with that revelation, he loses the warmth of your touch, and he comes crashing down like a wingless aircraft.

“i also need time to think about it. that’s only fair, right? that i get to decide, too…?” you swallow thickly, lips parting as if the words are resisting to come out of your mouth.

he looks at you with an emotion you can’t name, a push and pull between longing and trepidation.

if this was a movie, he would brave the rain and somehow perfectly deliver a poetically romantic speech that would sway your heart. if this was a movie, you would take a warm bath together, make out in the bathtub, and make love on your bed. if this was a movie, the day would end with the two of you tangled up, peacefully asleep and rhythmic breathing in sync. but he knows you. apparently not as well as he thought, but to some extent, he knows you. if he pulls you closer in the heat of the moment, you would feel suffocated and defensive and you would push him away; and he would lose you for good. that much he knows. so he lets you leave and he stays in the car— heartbroken, crestfallen, and regretful, because he might’ve just recklessly thrown away the best gift the universe has ever given him.

“i was thinking about how she never would’ve made this much sacrifices and efforts for anyone else and i feel like… i- it’s all going to waste because our future is uncertain. i can’t be committed to her as much as she is committed to me. and, and i felt like the guilt was eating away at me, you know? i wasn’t thinking straight.” jungkook chews on his bottom lip, a last ditch effort to prevent himself from sobbing. “it just… consumed me? like i was drowning… and all i could smell and taste was the saltwater.”

“i see,” yoongi sighs, crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers infront of his stomach as he finds the right words to say. “that’s a normal response. our brain is a very complex friend… but you know, everything i’ve been through as myself and as a part of our team, hmmm, they taught me that there are times when a problem doesn’t necessarily need a solution per se. you just keep going until the fog clears up and then you move past it.”

fuck, jungkook needs a glass of whiskey. or two. or twelve. he listens intently despite seeming like he’s spacing out.

“this won’t last forever and time slips away from us without us even noticing. you should do what you want to do. if we’re going to deprive ourselves of good things, what will we have left after everything is over? money we can’t spend in one lifetime? there’s no happiness in that.”

yoongi frowns, wishing he could do more to alleviate the weight hanging on jungkook’s shoulders.

“you deserve love outside all the noise, too. focus on the present which you can still control and deal with the future when it arrives. if you do otherwise, you’ll just be tormenting yourself… and i know it’s easier said than done but! do you want to hear something i’ve had on my mind lately?”

with a flushed face and swollen eyes, he tilts his head to curiously spy on his hyung.

“what is it?”

“your motivation to work out after our shows is so you can stay awake and spend time with her. that’s why you fall asleep everywhere else. do you know how scary and endearing it is to watch that? is that what you call ‘not being committed enough’?”

yoongi fails to hide his gummy smile, body vibrating with silent laughter as pictures of jungkook falling asleep standing up flash before his eyes.

“seriously, you punk! you scare me! i just pass out and die straight after while you- really, you’re really unbelievable. i envy you. for being able to love with everything you have until they break your heart. i mean it!”

“but i’m the one who broke their heart this time.” jungkook somberly utters in defeat, bottom lip jutting out and chin quivering.

yoongi encouragingly pats his shoulder, shaking his body lightly. ”you can make it up to her. she’ll reach out before we leave. have some more patience.”

jungkook’s eyes turn into slits, suspiciously squinting at the man sitting beside him. “why do you sound so sure?”

“because she loves you. why else?”

—

you automatically pause from eating cup ramyeon when your phone lights up on top of the journals you’ve been reviewing for the past hour.

“ah, shit! shit!”

you abruptly cover your mouth with your hand, exhausted eyes watering because you accidentally bit your tongue after reading the name of the sender of your newest text notification. you take sips of cold water, peering at your phone as you do so. your hands itch to type out a response, but the screen dies and turns black, another of yoongi’s messages in the same pile of unanswered ones from your friends checking up on you tonight. you can’t talk to anyone right now; you need to get shit done.

after eating your dinner at the convenience store, you come home to a plastic of fried chicken hanging on the doorknob of your front door.

Eat lots and stay healthy! I’m feeding Jungkook well too. Don’t worry. — Yoongi

you peel off the blue handwritten note, sticking it on the cover of one of your books. you carefully carry the food using your free hand, and you can feel it radiating on your skin, the heat of a freshly-cooked meal. you were always worried of being a bother when you occasionally ask him how jungkook is doing on tour, but this made your heart significantly lighter. gaining a good friend after losing your lover, perhaps life can show a smidge of mercy when it wants to.

too bad you’ve always been one to be greedy.

—

“ah, seriously. why did you have to break up with ___?”

“we’ve been through this a million times!” jungkook exclaims in exasperation as he fiddles with the controller, bumping his knee with taehyung’s. “focus. you’re supposed to be helping me forget.”

“i don’t remember agreeing to that.” taehyung responds with a shrug, smirking when he picks up a booster and runs past his friend’s character. “you finally found someone who could put up with you and you let them go? i won’t let you forget.”

jungkook scoffs, eyes rolling upwards. “bro, i should be the least of your problems.”

“nuh-uh.” taehyung tuts with a grin, belly aching with laughter when jungkook’s car jumps over his to steal the lead. he didn’t even know that was possible. he plans on using the same trick against him later. “i’m making you my biggest problem so i don’t have to deal with mine.”

“they’re not married yet. you still have a chance, you know?”

“yah!” he gapes at jungkook in shock, entirely forgetting about the game. “take that back!”

“don’t act like you haven’t thought of it!”

“yeah, but i don’t say it out loud. it sounds too wrong! i still have my morals left!” he cries out, stomping his feet on the floor.

jungkook lightly punches his arm, eyebrows pinched in confusion. “i meant you have a chance if they break up. i have morals too! what do you think of me?!”

“oh…” taehyung blinks. “you know who else have probably thought of that too, though?”

“who?” jungkook boredly questions as he scrolls through the game collection, contemplating about which one to play next.

“all the other people waiting in line for ___.”

the realization renders him motionless, stirring up the possessiveness coursing through his veins. for the love of god, he doesn’t want to be petty but that struck a nerve. he wants to storm out of the house and look for you, beg on his knees for you to take him back.

“aish, hyung, you’re driving me crazy! why would you tell me that? are we torturing each other?!”

“are you crying? yah, jungkook-ah.” taehyung watches his hunched figure with a guilty wince, hesitant hands rubbing the expanse of his back. “i’m sorry- i’m sorry… do you want a hug?”

jungkook stays quiet, head hanging low to hide his face crumpling with anguish. the loose but affectionate hug that he gets pulled into prompts him to fall apart, catharsis blossoming in his ribcage and turning his bones into jelly.

he hears obnoxiously loud sniffles, and he abandons taehyung’s shoulder to look at his face. “are you crying, too?”

“stop ruining the moment.” taehyung groans, forcefully pushing down his head again.

namjoon comes out from his bedroom in search for another extension cord, still sipping on the half-empty iced americano he took from the fridge only ten minutes ago. the heartfelt scene on the couch causes him to halt on his tracks. how did they go from playing games to crying together? he silently observes the two members for a moment before deciding to approach them.

“what am i going to do with the two of you?” he grunts, ruffling his hair in frustration. “shall we go out for drinks to disinfect your wounded hearts?”

the mention of alcohol makes them perk up, jungkook’s tearful doe eyes sparkling at the prospect of temporarily erasing the pain that has uncontrollably spread throughout his system. he wants to drink until he forgets that he has hands, until he forgets what it feels like to touch you.

“thanks, monie-hyung. i’ll have my appetizer.”

and the iced americano gets snatched away from namjoon’s unsuspecting hand within the blink of an eye.

—

“this is not a barbecue restaurant.” you stare blankly at the orange neon lights spelling out the name of the night club your friends secretly conspired to bring you to.

“___, loosen up! the fastest way to move on is to find someone else. this is the best place for that.” aera turns around from the passenger seat of the taxi, her red lips painting a thrilled smile. “just forget about jungkook. we all knew this shit was going to happen. i’m surprised you even lasted that long!”

“i don’t know what you’re trying to imply but i don’t appreciate your tone.” you warn her with a sharp, threatening look. “and the ‘someone else’ that i found at a bar before turned out to be biggest fucking jerk i’ve ever met. i’m not doing this again.”

“things might be different this ti-” mi-ran aids in persuading you, but it only adds fuel to the fire.

“oh my god! fuck off!” you yell in irritation, aggressively getting off the car and slamming the door shut on their faces.

you never look back, ignoring the shouts of your name and half-assed apologies. you don’t have the slightest idea about where you’re going — your feet have a mind of their own and they chose to go the opposite way of home. this isn’t how you envisioned your night. you just wanted to listen to the sound of the meat grill and complain about life giving you a taste of true love just to cut your tongue with it until you bled. was that too much to ask?

you’re about ninety percent certain that you just lost two of whom you treated to be your closest friends. you think of ah-young, and you briefly consider crashing at your best friend’s band practice, but you’re too exhausted to travel to the other end of the city.

with eleven seconds left in the timer, you cross the street with swift and long strides alongside a crowd consisting mostly of employees wearing the same navy blue uniform. at last, you’re among the bright and lively restaurants, the inviting smell of good food making your stomach sting with hunger.

it’s only taehyung who recognizes you when you unknowingly pass by, almost choking on his glass of somaek, the combination of soju and beer. with his career on the line, he is confident that he can recognize that balenciaga windbreaker anywhere and anytime. meanwhile, instead of talking about you, the youngest is drunkenly reminiscing about the alleged ghost encounters he had in their old dorms. their leader is tragically left to tend to the grill alone. he deeply regrets not dragging any of the older members with them.

“everyone, i think i just saw __-”

a grimace of cluelessness is plastered on taehyung’s face when jungkook claps once, enthusiastically pointing at him as if he just announced something inspiring and life-changing.

“you’re right, you’re right! that’s it! what i’m kind of trying to say here is…” he pauses, facial muscles relaxing into a gloomy expression. he sniffles and rubs his nose, making it a brighter shade of red. “when we move houses again, i won’t have stories like these to bring with me. the new ghosts will be my memories with ___.”

none of the other two dares to speak after that, the oddly satisfying sound of meat being grilled and the chattering from other tables occupy the uneasy and heavy silence. instead, they begin filling their own shot glasses with pure soju. namjoon is the first one to spill it down his throat, slamming it on the table before dishing out his phone from his pocket. by this time, all of them are already drunk, double vision blurry and speech a little slurred. they gave up on counting the green bottles and cans of beer a long while ago.

“shit, that was a good metaphor. i need to write that down.”

“namjoon-hyung, he’s crying again!”

jungkook’s head slumps on the table with a thud, hot tears escaping down to his temple as he laments. “i miss her so much. why did i have to break up with her the second we got home? why…? am i so impulsive? what do i do if… if she agrees that we- h-how am i supposed to live with myself after that…? i’m never going to love again.”

they shuffle apprehensively on their seats, but still, they tell jungkook what he needs to hear since he won’t remember tonight’s events, anyway.

that’s not going happen. she just needs some more time. i’m sure she’s missing you too. everything will be okay.

but it’s been almost two weeks of radio silence. their flight is in nine days, drawing nearer and nearer as if it’s purposely taunting jungkook. everyone is thinking the same thing, and everyone is afraid to say it out loud.

—

it’s 7am when his work alarm goes off. with a disgruntled noise, a hungover jungkook drowsily drags himself out of bed, eyes still closed as he swings the bedroom door open.

“oing?” he creates a noise of confusion when his arm bumps against an object. he blinks at the brown paper bag hanging on his doorknob, removing one of the handles to peek at its contents.

he buffers for a moment, staring blankly at his belongings safely tucked inside. there’s his black mini bluetooth speaker, tinted lipbalm, wired earphones, bucket hat, facial cleanser, moisturizer, and shampoo. these are everything he left on top of your study desk and in your bathroom. neatly folded on the side is his windbreaker, which he recalls as clear as daylight, how you reveled in its comfort the last time that you were together. the fabric softener you use has replaced his perfume, the cherry scent forming a rain cloud of nostalgia and longing above his head.

if this is a nightmare, he is begging for somebody, anybody, to break into the room and to bring him someplace where hope is not desolate.

his wounded heart, as his namjoon-hyung described, is experiencing an excruciating pain he never even imagined was possible. he now understands, why the broken heart syndrome is a real thing.

he can’t read you. is this your way of ‘reaching out’? have you kicked him out of your house, out of your life? for good?

the dread of losing you forever is gnawing at his insides. nausea almost succeeds in knocking him off his feet. his brain hisses with static. he panics at the disgustingly familiar sensation brewing in his digestive system, sprinting to the bathroom to spill out his guts.

they say that you don’t realize what you have until you lose it. that early morning, jungkook realizes that he’s only a human being after all.

—

“when did i put that there?”

you’re sorting out your dirty laundry after showering when you notice a tissue paper tucked in the front pocket of your denim jeans. you huff out a sigh, ripping it apart into tiny pieces over the trash bin with raging vexation. you will never understand how men thinks that these kind of stupid tricks are supposed to compel you into seeing them anywhere near attractive and desirable in your eyes. if anything, they make you feel unsafe and if your paths cross again, you will run the other way. great. another person in the lecture room to avoid. just fucking great.

at this point, you want to mockingly laugh at your own misery. just when you thought your day couldn’t possibly get worse, it fucking does.

you tuck yourself in bed by midnight, texting a friend about your joint presentation next week, and then rereading your conversation with namjoon from this morning for the nth time. you’ve been hoping it will shine light on the right path to take, because you’re still lost and hurt.

Namjoon:

he’s been devastated since

can’t this be sorted out?

stuff’s just been overwhelming and honestly i’m as anxious as him

i'm not trying to force you into getting back together with him ofc but please talk for closure atleast..

you’re also my friend. i think you need it too..

you scroll a bit further down afterwards, and your heart drops to your stomach when you see the three dots under the contact name ‘my jungkook’. you click on it as it beckons you to, only to allow time to flow like a river with no sea to kiss, idly watching the bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear. almost everyday, you catch a glimpse of him at the very least, typing a message and never sending it.

the same goes for tonight, it seems.

his silence is torturing you. in the car, in your inbox, in your call history. a person knocks on the door and a part of you foolishly predicts that it’s jungkook not using his copy of the key out of respect.

you succumb to the yearning, heading to your shared media and files that you’ve been actively resisting for the past three weeks… for this exact reason.

you randomly click a video sent by jungkook three months ago.

“i know you’re in class but i’m too excited to show what i got you today!” he beams at the front camera, bunny teeth cutely showing. he picks up the first item from the hotel bed with his free hand. “you already own this book but this one got a different cover, see? it’s hardback? they say it’s a limited edition.”

he eyes it fleetingly, obvious that there is something else he is dying to mention.

“i won’t show it too close. you can look at it when i go home. there’s a little surprise inside.”

he scrunches his nose before teasingly sticking his tongue out.

“and then here we haaave-”

following that, he shows you an adorable fluffy white bunny with red eyes. it occupies more than half the screen, and without a doubt, it is soft and huggable.

“cooky’s new sibling! we found it at a gift shop and hobi-hyung said it looks like me.”

he presses his cheek to the bunny’s. “i accept. we do look alike, but my eyes are so much bigger.”

in the upcoming seconds, the video is muted except for his breathing. he plops down on the bed while ruffling his dark hair, staring at the camera wordlessly, evocative of when you catch him dreamily watching you study while you’re on a videocall.

“i miss you.” he smiles sadly, deep dimples appearing on his cheeks. “don’t forget to text me when you’re on your way home.”

he drops on his back, the firm mattress breaking his fall.

“mmmwah!“ he kisses the camera, and your screen freezes on the final frame.

the silence in the aftermath is defeaning. you tear your glasses off your face, burying your face in the pillows. you arrive at your final decision then and there. you don’t care. you don’t care. you don’t care anymore. you cannot bear to spend more of your days like this. his things that used to live here might be gone, but you look for him everywhere. you look for his car in the parking lot. you look for his hair when you see flowers. you wait for his name to be called in the coffee shop. on your way home, you linger at the playground where you used to usually meet.

because if your relationship with jungkook is truly doomed to fail, you want to watch its foundation collapse on the ground, burnt down to gray and black ashes that disintegrate when you try to grasp them in your hands… with good grace, it’s the only way for you to believe that there’s no more home to come home to.

with a trembling hand, you press the call button and for the very first time, you beg someone to stay.

—

jungkook’s breathing ceases, heartbeat violently racing in his chest. the ‘chimes’ ringtone tickle his ears, his phone vibrating incessantly in his hands. the two features he specifically customized in your contact settings so he will immediately recognize that it’s you who’s calling.

it’s been four days since you dropped off his things. and here he was, laying on his bed and struggling to find the right words to say because he refuses to believe that this is how it ends. the paper bag is still hanging on the doorknob. he hasn’t touched it since the first time. he doesn’t have the courage to do so.

fuck giving you space. he wants drown himself in you and never come up for air. he’s more than willing to suffer your anger or your coldness. he’s prepared to prove himself worthy of a second chance every second of every day. he wants to occupy half of your desk and half of your closet again. he selfishly wishes to be the first and the last person you fall in love with.

but until the very end, you’re the braver one.

“love?” your voice is quiet, barely audible, but it’s there, and he hears the affectionate term of endearment distinctly. “i’m sorry. i tried, i really did, but i couldn’t do it…”

“baby,” he falters breathlessly, half of him in disbelief, convinced that he has officially lost his goddamn mind and delusion is bleeding into reality.

“i tried living without you like you wanted- but i can’t-” you hiccup in between small sobs on the other line. “i love you, jungkook. i can’t live carrying around all this love with me. it’s too heavy…”

exploding and breaking apart, jungkook’s heart is a meteor that has entered the planet’s atmosphere, and he doesn’t know where to begin digging for the fragments so he can piece himself together again.

“we are too young and we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing and i love you too much. you don’t have to protect me… i’ll take my fair share of the responsibility, so just-” he hangs on your every word, and then you pause, your following words eliciting a powerful punch to his gut. “just let me love you and let me learn my lesson the hard way… let’s do that, okay?”

the walls of him room ebbs and flows in like the sea. he rests his forearm over his eyes, his skin gradually dampening with tears. he once promised himself that he would never put you in this position. he should be the one begging for forgiveness, repenting and crawling on his knees. but rather than wasting his time with surfing through another tsunami of self-blame, he reminds himself: i want to be a better man.

“okay, baby. let’s do that, hmm? let’s do that. it’s what i want too.” he coos softly with a hoarse voice. “are you at your apartment?”

you hum in confirmation, sniffling. “come home.”

—

a half-naked jungkook abruptly opens the door to yoongi’s room, wearing gray sweatpants with his left arm awkwardly inserted in one of the black t-shirt’s armhole.

“hyung! can i borrow your car? mine’s getting a check-up.”

yoongi tears his eyes away from the computer, hanging the black headphones on the nape of his neck. he merely shrugs before throwing the car key, and jungkook catches it in one hand with ease.

he sighs in relief, politely bowing his upper body to express his gratitude. “thank you, hyung.”

“what are you doing?!” yoongi half-smiles with fondness, jokingly waving him off. “just go- go. leave!”

—

jungkook nervously stands before your front door, head woozy with anticipation and fear. what if things have changed? what if your relationship never goes back to the way it was?

“oh. you’re back together?”

he whips his head back to find your neighbor arriving home from his part-time job. huh, he just realized that he has never really learned what his name is. the only information he has on him is that his sister owns a bee farm.

“how did you even know?” he asks with knitted eyebrows. “you haven’t been giving out honey again, have you?”

“she only accepted it once.” the stranger puts his arms up in surrender with a roll of his eyes. “and don’t make her cry again, will you? she blasts sad songs late at night.”

and with an unpleasantly forceful shut of the door, jungkook is left alone in the hallway. his jaw clenches as he glares at the next apartment, but he rubs his face to release his frustration before he goes to meet you.

“we need to move in together.” he grumbles to himself as he enters your unit, relocking the door behind him. he removes his sneakers, neatly setting them down beside your pairs of shoes by the doormat.

he pads on the wooden floor with his white toe socks, looking around the dark and quiet living room. a faint orange light is seeping under the gap between the floor and the bedroom door, which he recognizes to be your favorite mode on your multi-colored nightstand lamp. he cautiously cracks the door open, and he is instantly greeted by your curled up figure, peacefully sleeping.

it’s muscle memory when he hangs his backpack on the backrest of your study chair before anything else. he also brought the paper bag you sent, putting it down on the floor.

he squats down infront of you, lightly prying away the phone you’re hugging to your chest and placing the device on the bedside table. the light is shining over your skin, and there are a thousand of photos and videos organized into the most treasured folder in his gallery, but not a single one of them will ever do you justice.

god, he missed you so much. it hasn’t been two years, but the life he had before he met you feels like an extremely distant memory.

he sighs, talking in hopes that he appears in your dreams. “how do you do this? you make it impossible not to love you.”

he unconsciously frowns at the sight of your puffy eyes. never again. never again. never again. he chants inside his head. he plants a kiss on each of your eyelids, taking his time to bask in the feeling of your weight under his lips.

he climbs on the opposite side of the bed, tucking you underneath the blanket before securely holding you from behind with his thigh hanging over yours. the warmth of your body and the scent of your shampoo cures the headache that’s been bothering him the whole day. he drifts off to sleep soon after.

—

the feather-light brushes through the silky locks of his hair pulls him out of his slumber half an hour later. he can make out your silhouette through his half-open eyes, the little-mermaid-like scene feels too vivid for a dream.

“why didn’t you wake me up?” you whine, sulking with a pout.

“i’m sorry.” he answers quietly, sitting up to engulf you in a tight embrace as endless apologies tumble from his tongue. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i gave up. i’m sorry that i hurt you. i’m so sorry… are you angry at me?”

“i’m upset.” you admit after a few beats, not seeing the point in sugarcoating it. “it hurts when i remember you saying that. and i understand you but… but i don’t like that you decided alone for us. if you do that again… then it will be over between us.”

he has an arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand firmly holding the back of your head. it’s a little hard to breathe, but it’s so reassuring to feel that he doesn’t want to let you out of his embrace. because you hated it — hated how it felt like letting you go was so easy.

“i regret everything. i’m sorry.” he whispers, concealing his tears by nuzzling his face on your neck. “and you’re not a burden. that’s not true.”

he knows that you mean your every word, so he lifts up his head to gaze directly into your eyes, showing that he is as sincere and true to his.

“from now on, all i’ll think about is what i can do to make you happy and safe without compromising our relationship… i’ll do better. i’ll love you better. i promise that i’ll be stronger for us. i won’t make the same mistake twice.”

you wish jungkook could be kinder to himself, treat himself with the same gentleness that comes so naturally with you. why is it that humans find loving themselves so laborious? why does being have to come with such a curse?

taking glimpses at the past, you should’ve been reminding him of these affirmations everyday.

“you don’t have to be strong all the time. i’m not asking for that.” you shake your head, voicing out yourself in a tone so soothing and illuminating. “i don’t want to go anywhere far away from you so think of yourself, too. i told you before, it’s okay to hold on to me. i’m also strong.”

jungkook feels so safe at home. he doesn’t remember what he was so worried of anymore.

“and you know what? if you really see it that way, then i’m telling you now. i want to waste my time on you. you can’t stop me.” your threatening eyes widen in conviction, provoking a sheepish smile to tug at the corners of his lips. “i always get what i want.”

“and you want me?” he innocently points at himself.

“love you.”

“i love you.” he replies, nosing at your neck before leaving a chaste kiss on your skin. “so much.”

“then put yourself in my shoes.” you hum, combing his hair with your fingers, lightly tugging to initiate eye-contact. “i want to take care of you just like how you want to take care of me. i think we have something rare and beautiful…” you pause, self-conscious about coming across as too needy now that you’re face-to-face, but an epiphany shatters your apprehension with a bow and an arrow.

this is what he needed to hear from you that day.

“so stay with me.”

jungkook’s vision becomes unfocused. he’s speechless; the only sound in the room is the humming of the airconditioner, but it’s almost as if you can hear the gears of his brain working their hardest. the pain that glossed his enchanting doe eyes has been replaced with a devotion you’ve never seen expressed so passionately in them before.

“all the time i own is yours.” he declares, cupping your face, the pad of his thumb daintily stroking your cheek. “all of it. we can do anything you want to do. let me make it up to you.”

“anything?” your face lights up with joy and mischief, and the butterflies in jungkook’s stomach come alive. he wants to make it his life’s mission to make you smile everyday; and that, he will do. “then i want you to kiss me.”

the sultriness of your enticing voice makes him go haywire. it’s been too damn long. he has forgotten what it feels like to kiss you. he slowly inches closer, his lips brushing against your lips before he pulls you in deeper, a fervent display of his yearning and apologies. he swallows the needy moan that escapes you as he slowly lays you down on the mattress, stripping off his shirt and mindlessly tossing it somewhere when you impatiently tug at it with another whimper. you cage his face in your hands, bringing back his lips on yours as if he’s the air that you breathe.

he wants to grieve for all the wasted time because everyday, he craved for this. to be honest, he forgets his name when he’s kissing you. outside, the crowds scream his name for being the best at what he does best, and he happily lives for the euphoria of it all. but in this room, there is only you and him. you communicate using the unspoken language of love with your lips. you bare the soft animal in yourselves with your teeth sinking in the other’s skin. you allow your rawest desires and truths to unravel with a slip of the tongue. he exists beyond his name, becomes an indecipherable enigma even to himself. what is the use of an explanation if there is no meaning anyway? all he knows is that he loves you despite all the reasons, against all the reasons.

he sneaks under your shirt, fingertips teasingly exploring your skin as if he’s drawing a map. he feels you quiver when he finally reaches your chest, gently kneading the soft flesh in his palm. this makes you mewl in pleasure, arching your back as your hand unconsciously curls around his wrist, the cotton fabric separating the two of you. the action electrifies jungkook, makes him lose himself a little more, which he didn’t think was still possible.

“touch me, please- jungkook. need you-” you choke out a desperate whimper, nearly sobbing as you guide his hand between your thighs. you can’t bear to spend another second untouched; the last time you made love feels like an eternity ago. he slips past the waistband of your underwear, the only article of clothing you’re wearing below. but to your disappointment, he gently caresses your hip bone instead of dipping his long fingers into your wetness.

“shh, hold on, baby-” he forces himself to break away from the kiss, swollen and red lips glistening with spit. “baby, look at me. you didn’t drink, right? i don’t want to take advantage.”

you gape at him with your chest heaving up and down, dumbfounded. “how could you even think of that right now?”

his eyes widen in panic, worried that he might’ve offended you. “no, no, no-” his palms skim your thighs, guiding them to wrap around his slim waist. you gasp when he presses up on you and his hard length rubs on your folds, sending jolts of electricity up your spine. a gush of arousal dampens the thin material covering your center.

“i want you so fucking bad that it hurts.” he gingerly wipes away the tears that you didn’t even notice streamed down to your temples. you can’t remember the last time you cried before today, they must’ve gotten tired of asking for your permission. “but you were crying when you called, baby. i had to make sure.”

“oh, my boyfriend is such a gentleman.” you muse dreamily. pepper his face with delicate kisses, lips curving upward with an adoring smile. “look at him enjoying my kisses.”

you playfully squeeze his cheeks together, making his pillowy lips pucker.

“you really wanted to break up with me in this case, huh? you wanted to live without me and my kisses? no way.”

his eyelids flutter open, and he shakes his head as he dips down to kiss you. “it was hell without you…” his teeth captures your bottom lip, nipping at the supple flesh. “going to build a life with you. i’ll build furniture, and they’re going to be ours.”

“good. you better.” your high-pitched giggles bounce off the walls as his lips trail down to your neck, licking a bold stripe over your ticklish spots. “i don’t have the patience for it, but i’ll be your trusty assistant.”

it’s ridiculous, how even the sound of your laughter turns him on even more.

—

jungkook learned that you finished your exams yesterday, having spent majority of the past two weeks pulling all-nighters to prepare for them. you seem to be confident about the results, the way you talked about it without concern. he never once doubted that you’re resolute and persevering, but acing your exams in the middle of a breakup is beyond what he can digest. it must’ve been a grueling experience, he can only imagine.

he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, and then your lips, before dragging the blanket higher over your naked figure, a thicker one he brought out from the cabinet. poor thing, you fell asleep on his lap while he was drying your hair, incoherently murmuring about how tired you are.

he walks to your study space, fixing the loosening towel wrapped around his waist. one by one, he pulls out the items from the paper bag, returning them to their old places on your desk. he toothily grins at the windbreaker, ecstatic due to his plan on wearing it at work today. he wants to give it back to you smelling like him again.

an index card lands on the ground when he unfolds it, making him peer down in curiosity.

“what’s this?” he mumbles, bending down to pick it up.

jumbled thoughts. a letter shoved at the back of the mailbox. a hesitant confession. a bittersweet reminder that says: a wound does not magically disappear overnight. it requires the proper treatment to heal correctly, and even then, it might still leave a scar.

These are only a few of many. Why is this the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? I’m usually the more logical one. Was it really so bad that we weren’t going anywhere?

and messily crossed out at the end,

I miss you.

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[dayslynthesix]

bad idea, right? | max verstappen x female!oc [part 1]

the one when max verstappen got back to his ex girlfriend

an: i swear part 2 is funnier please don't give up part 2

amayamedina

liked by itsmegigi, thstsanneg_, beabee, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina i wish i was still blond to be on my merliah summers era. see you next year, spain, i had a lovely time here 🩷🇪🇸

itsmegigi the only certain i have in my life is that we're gonna be together next summer

amayamedina obviously girl, its us to the end of the world duuuhhh

thstsanneg_ i love you and i will definitely miss you during the year 😭😭

amayamedina stoppp you'll have to came to see mee 😭😭

beabee i think this was the best summer we ever had

amayamedina i know right?? this one felt more special

maxverstappen1 ⛱️🧡 liked by amayamedina

charles_leclerc it was lovely to meet you and the gang

amayamedina it was super nice to mee you, my mom will love to hear i watch the race from ferrari garage, shes a big fan

user1 so this is the girl we saw with max during the barcelona gp?

user2 idk maybe? she looks pretty

user3 she's a beach volleyball player i think

user6 how did you already found out her social media??

user1 she's a beach volleyball player (was, idk) and she's also a sports influencer

may 13th, 2019

amayamedina

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, itsmegigi, maxverstappen1, thstsanneg_ and others

amayamedina interlagos was alway my favorite track 🇧🇷

maxverstappen1 your my favorite ❤️

amayamedina i love youuuu

thstsanneg_ i still cant believe you're dating a playboy who's job is literally racing in circles

amayamedina i know right??

user83 i hate the way they talk about max career like it's nothing

user92 girl it's not that deep they're joking

itsmegigi you're kinda cute

maxverstappen1 are you considering redbull as your next team?

itsmegigi im with ferrari until the day i die

beabee mom and dad 🥰

amayamedina no

charles_leclerc gross

amayamedina no one invited you here and if i recall you and max are not on speaking terms so plese fix that!

charles_leclerc no

user1 SO SHE IS THE GIRL

user93 she was pretty much at every gp and was seen with him at least four times guys, it's obvious

user1 we're happy they announced, that's all

user33 she's so gorgeous

user83 i meet them last night and she was very polite AND she was the one who took the photo i have with max

november 19th, 2019

amayamedina

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, charlottesiine, itsmegigi, thstsanneg_ and others

amayamedina me and my girls (and the boys), italy trip you'll aways be famous! 🇮🇹

maxverstappen1 🧡🧡🧡

charles_leclerc the trip is always famous untill someone end up in the hospital with a food poisoning

amayamedina i told you to take it easy with the shrimp...

beabee ok that was amazing!! can't wait for next years

amayamedina we'l be here!

itsmegigi all the pottery it was me! i need people to know that ams and bea are shitty at it

amayamedina anne helped... a little

charles_leclerc no she didn't, she was BUSY TRYING TO GUIDE THE BOAT SINCE MAX AND AMAYA KEPT ARGUING!! comment have been deleted

charles_leclerc no she didn't 🤪

thstsanneg_ i love you guys

redbullracing take care of max, he's our precious driver and we need him!

amayamedinaif he was here i would! comment have been deleted

amayamedina sure adm! 😌

may 28th, 2021

amayamedina and maxverstappen1

liked by itsmegigi, georgerussell63. charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina after two and a half years together with max, we decided to go separate paths, i will be forever grateful for the time we spent together 🩷

maxverstappen1 thank you for allowing me to be your partner, i will hold those memories close to my heart. wish you all the best 🧡

comments on this post have been restricted

june 10th, 2021

amayamedina

liked by itsmegigi, charles_leclerc, thstsanneg_, beabee and others

amayamedina birthday me with the people i love the most in the place im the happiest, thank you so much for being here with me and to celebrate my life with me, i will hold those memories close to my heart ❤️‍🩹 happy cancer season everyone ♋️🦀 | 📍 positano, italy

itsmegigi i love you and i love to spend your day with you, you're my best friend in the world and your happiness means a lot to me 💛

amayamedina you mean a lot to me! 💛

thstsanneg_ happy happy happy birthday my friend, you're the best, you deserve your friends with you today

amayamedina don't make me cry again 😭 i love you and im super grateful to have you in my life

beabee im crying again, i love you! it you and me (and gi, and annie) that's my whole world until the end

amayamedina my world is only whole when im with you, annie and gigi, i love you ❤️

charles_leclerc happy birthday, ames, you deserve all the best

amayamedina thank you charlie, thank you for being here 💖

charlottesiine it was amazing to celebrate with you, i hope you have a great year!

amayamedina it was amazing c! thank you for coming 💖

user13 don't you guys think that's strange that amaya and max broke up like 10 days ago and charles is celebrating her birthday with her?

user83 not at all, they seemed very friendly with each other and charlotte and her became very close

user89 people can't have friends anymore

madalenamedina_ happy birthday my beautiful girl, i still remember the day i found out that i was going to be a mom and the day i listened to your heart for the first time, i love you dearly and immeasurably ❤️❤️❤️

amayamedina thank you mom, i love you! you're the best mom i could have asked for and i want to be your daughter in every life after this one

user82 HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAYA!!!

lewishamilton happy birthday, amaya! wishing yoi all the best 🙏🏻

amayamedina thank you, lewis! 💖

june 30th, 2021

maxverstappen1

liked by redbullracing, f1, pierregasly and others

maxverstappen1 🏆😄

redbullracing our world champ!

kellypiquet ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo congrats mate

landonorris 💥💥

user92 goat

user193 i mean congrats i guess

user82 the fia is now giving world championships like it's candy lol

user95 it was supposed to be amaya with him 😭😭

user33 move on they broke up hes happy with kelly

december 16th, 2021

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, f1, redbullracing and others

maxverstappen1 after 2 years together, kelly and i decided to go different ways, i ask you, please, for privacy during this moment and respect to her and her personal life.

november 17th, 2023

comments on this post have been restricted

amayamedina just added a story

november 23rd, 2023

maxverstappen1 has answered this story

maxverstappen1 can we talk? it's been a while

amayamedina i don't know if i still had anything to talk to you

maxverstappen1 kelly and i we broke up

amayamedina im sorry

maxverstappen1 no you're not haha

amayamedina yeah im not lol but i guess a talk won't do harm so sure

maxverstappen1 can i pick you up?

amayamedina sure, give me 10min

[sommerbueckers]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬⁴

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

November 1st, 2019

MYLA TAPPED HER DESIGNATED note taking pen against the table, the table that she sat at every Physics class, the table that she usually shared with Paige. However today, the blonde seemed to be missing. Myla knew for a fact that she was here, she had shamelessly watched her talk with her friends from behind the safety of her locker just a few moments before the bell rang.

She scoffed at the thought of her skipping class.

'Whatever, it's her grade,' the curly head thought.

Myla was jealous. In the three years she had been attending Hopkins, she hadn't found a solid group of friends. She had never gotten a text from from anyone in the middle of class to meet in the bathroom, she had never been brought her favorite coffee order in the morning and was never invited to go get food after school. She was an afterthought in every friendship she had ever had, and her 'friendship' with Paige was no different. In fact, the word 'afterthought' was quite generous.

She often wondered what the blonde talked about with her friends, what kind of things made her laugh, what kind of things about other people intrigued her.

Was there anything about herself that Paige liked?

Her ears perked up at the familiar sound of the blonde's voice in the front of the classroom. She was quietly handing a note to the teacher, a fading smile on her face, the aftermath of whatever she had finished before coming inside. Myla's stomach felt queasy, and she diverted her eyes down to her empty page of notes in an attempt to distract herself from the now approaching girl.

Paige breathed out a sigh as she sat down, pulling out her own notebook and pencil case. She leaned back in her chair, using the edge of the table to pull herself back in before she repeated the action.

"Do you mind?" Myla whispered, glancing behind her.

Paige smiled cheekily, "Sorry, is this bothering you?"

"Yes actually, it is," the girl grumbled in response.

Paige raised her eyebrows in surprise at Myla's sudden and unusually bitter tone. She pulled herself back into the table and leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the other girl's face. Avoiding her eyes, the curly head kept her gaze steadily on her notebook, knowing that if she made eye contact with Paige, she'd fold instantly.

"What bit you in the butt?" the blonde smirked.

"Excuse me?"

"You seem irritated," she shrugged, "and you usually aren't."

'Well you usually don't skip class so I guess we're all trying something new,' is what Myla would have said if it wouldn't have completely ruined everything she had been building since the first day of school. So instead, she bit her lip and shrugged silently.

"'M just hungry, I haven't eaten anything yet."

"You didn't eat breakfast?" Paige asked, to which Myla shook her head. "Why not?"

"I wasn't hungry this morning."

"Hm," the two fell silent again, and Paige found herself hating how awkward it felt. It felt like the first two weeks all over again: her and Myla talking for the first time ever after having gone to school together for three years. She'd commit crimes just to not have to go back to those first couple of weeks. Being paired with someone you didn't know was bad enough, but being paired with someone you didn't know and didn't like was lamentable. "Well now look at you, hungry ass," the blonde nudged her arm jokingly.

Myla failed to stop the smile that crept onto her face, and although the action didn't seem that bad once she had finally done it, Paige's next words made her wish she hadn't.

...

June 17th, 2024

"There's that pretty smile," Paige spoke into the phone.

"Hi," Myla laughed shyly, "are you busy right now?"

"Never too busy for you, you look like you're kinda busy though..." Paige blue eyes narrowed slightly and she brought the phone closer to her face, "Are you in your towel right now?"

"Yeah," the curly head snorted, "it was getting late and I wanted to make sure I caught you before you went to bed."

"Sureee."

"What?"

"I think you jus' wanted me to see you like this," she said honestly. Paige had just sat back down on the couch after getting her DoorDash, her show ready to be resumed on the tv. But now, in the short few steps that it had taken her to get her food and get situated, she had forgotten all about it.

"Well if that was the case, I would've propped my phone up..." Myla explained, setting the phone up against a tissue box that sat upon her bathroom counter. "Like this."

Water droplets fell from the ends of Myla's curls, the entirety of her hair appearing darker after the shower. The girl proceeded to brush her teeth, and from where the towel had been wrapped, Paige could see the swell of her breasts as she bent over to spit into the sink. Wiping the excess toothpaste from her lip with her thumb, Myla smiled coyly into the camera.

Paige readjusted herself in her seat, unexpectedly growing more nervous than she would've thought. Her grip on her phone tightened, and she watched with an unwillingly clenched jaw as Myla finished off by brushing her tongue and rinsing her mouth.

"What pajamas should I wear tonight?" Myla asked, breaking Paige out of whatever trance she had fallen into.

She cleared her throat, "What are the options?"

"Well..." her voice trailed off as she set her phone down to browse through her drawers. "It's between these leopard shorts and the matching shirt, or these gray shorts and a white tank."

"Definitely not the leopard, you 'bouta' be lookin' like somebody grandma," the blonde laughed.

"Fuck you!" Myla gasped into the phone, "leopard is cute, you just don't have style like I do."

"Oh I got style, trust me," Paige argued, amused.

"Gray sweatpants and a white tee is not style, that's something you wear to an airport on the off chance that a real person might see you."

"So that means it's not a bad fit!"

"I didn't say it was! All I said was that it wasn't style, and you didn't disagree."

Shaking her head Paige responded, "If that helps you sleep at night."

After rolling her shorts to the length she liked, Myla wrapped her hair in a towel and climbed into bed with her phone. Roxie quickly joined her, her tiny feet pitter pattering against the hardwood floors as she hurried into the room and to the side of the bed. Scooping her into her arms, she gently placed her in front of the phone.

"She heard my voice," Paige smiled.

"She's not even looking at the camera, she's looking at her mommy," Myla said, ruffling her puppy's ears.

"Hm, so am I."

Paige and Myla made eye contact through the phone, both of their smiles growing in the tense silence they had created. Roxie, frustrated with the lack of attention she was getting, climbed into Myla's lap and let out a tiny bark. Myla diverted her eyes down for a moment, thankful for the distraction.

There had been a little voice in the back of her mind that told her that she and Paige were just friends, that their reserved dinner at a high class restaurant in the heart of New York City had just been two friends catching up. For a while, that had been a plausible explanation, at least that's what she told herself. But with the way their recent phone calls had sounded, and from the obvious flirting that Paige was doing right now, there was no way she could possibly still believe that.

Here she was again, lost in thought during an encounter that seventeen year old her could only dream of having. She placed a small peck on Roxie's head, choosing not to respond to the blonde. She leaned back against the headboard as Paige began to talk once more, allowing herself to be carried away by her voice.

"So about me coming up there..." she started carefully. "I was tryna figure out which hotel i'm gonna stay at, but I figured I'd ask you 'cus you'd know which one is closest to you."

Paige knew exactly what she was doing. She didn't stay in a hotel, she wanted to stay with Myla, and she knew Myla wanted that too. But she wanted, no, needed to hear her say it. Manicured hands adjusted the towel on her head before she had finally gathered the courage to speak up. This very topic had been on her mind since this morning when Paige mentioned coming here next weekend.

Why would she make Paige pay to stay in a hotel when she was coming up here specifically to see her? It wasn't like she didn't have the space, she certainly did. Myla had friends stay over all the time and not one of them had struggled to fit in the bed with her, Paige would be no different. Besides, if things went south there's always a perfectly good couch waiting just outside the bedroom.

Despite her mind being made up, Myla wasn't a fool. She could see right through Paige's attempt in cracking her, and she wasn't planning on giving in that easily.

"There are a few really good ones around. There's one that's like a five minute walk from me, and then the subway is five minutes in the opposite direction so that one is pretty popular. I know the Marriott is around all the good food spots..."

Myla paused when she looked at the phone again, Paige's narrowed eyes and unimpressed face staring back at her. The girl burst into laughter, not even noticing the way Roxie jumped at the sudden sound. Paige's facade cracked as well, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she watched Myla shake with laughter.

"You really think i'm gonna make you get a hotel?" she asked after finally calming down.

"Nah I didn't at first but -- you had me there for a second," Paige admitted.

"Good, that was the goal."

"You're a lil sneaky, I peep it," she nodded her head and tapped her finger against her temple.

"Oh please, I practically wear my feelings on my face," Myla frowned.

Paige would've liked to argue that, but after thinking back to the twinkle in Myla's eyes that night at dinner, she knew the girl was right. The blonde sighed tiredly, glancing at her clock on her nightstand. It was nearing midnight and she had to be up early in the morning. As much as she hated to see Myla's face disappear from her phone screen, it had to happen.

'I need some self control,' she shook her thoughts away.

"Ion wanna fall asleep on you so, imma jus' hangup," Paige breathed out, tilting her head.

"Okay then, well I hope you sleep well."

"I hope you do too."

Myla subtly moved out of the camera to hide her smile, "Goodnight Paige."

Paige shook her head with a smile, "Goodnight Myla."

The call disconnected and Myla grabbed her charger from the floor, humming in satisfaction when the lighting bolt appeared on the battery. She switched her lamp off and turned the other way, cuddling up with Roxie who was staring up at her with big eyes.

Myla had been more tired than she realized, and she became delirious quite quickly. So when her phone buzzed and lit up the small corner of the room, she couldn't decipher whether she had imagined it or not.

___________________________________________________________

i have smth cooking, and as much as i hate conflict, i think this story needs it...

love yall ! not proofread btw...

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch

Long story short, I owe the BL gods, so I'll be watching TWO series from my Petty List during the month of June. This list includes shows I haven't watched for purely petty reasons, so I'm asking the crowd to pick the two shows I will watch from all the MAME series, some censored Chinese bromances, a few sexual tension-filled Korean bromances, and one wild card.

I'm making my first ever poll, so whichever two series get the highest numbers will be the two I watch. And for all the kind people in the crowd, this is not the time to think about me. Pick your favorite. And for all the people who I annoy on the daily with my wild ass takes that piss you off, pick TharnType. But there is a possibility of a secret thirteenth option that would hurt me much worse . . .

The petty ass reasons are below the poll.

Disclaimer: If you're going to read the petty ass reasons, I need you to understand these are PETTY ASS REASONS, so don't try to hit me with 2,000 words about why me not watching censored bromances is a problem or why me not liking your fave hurts your feelings. Nah. Pick a show!

MAME

Love By Chance

This show came out at the end of 2018, and I watched the first episode, maybe first two, and thought it was boring. Then, in 2019, I saw a GIF of the locker scene, so I recommitted. I made it past the first episode just when the PerthSaint drama started spilling out everywhere, so I chucked the deuces and haven't returned since.

TharnType

For some reason, I couldn't find the first episode when it aired. Then, I found out how the first episode ended. Then, I found out about Type's past. Then, I just kept finding out more awful stuff until eventually the MewGulf shit finally hit the fan, and I was still reeling from the PerthSaint drama (and the emerging ZeeSaint chaos). At this point, I've built this show up so much that I'm afraid to see what it is actually about.

Don't Say No

A story of another GIF of a locker room scene sucking me in! After the first two MAME pairs blew up, I believed her shows were cursed, so I opted out of watching this one even though I thought it would be the one to vibe with me the most. But the biggest reason was because the main characters came from TharnType, so I felt like I would have to watch TharnType to understand this show, which was a big hell nah.

Love in the Air

I watched this through mutuals on my dash, so I feel like I did watch it. It is also the highest rated MAME series, so I had faith in it. However, when I found out about Sky's past, TharnType's ghost popped back up, and I realized this demon of a show is gonna haunt me in every MAME series.

The Wedding Plan

Y'all hated one of the leads so much while it was airing that I now hate him, and I don't think I can let that go, so I'm coming in with pre-hate and TharnType's ghost, but on top of that, some of y'all said it was boring. But what is boring in a MAME series? Consent? Not kidnapping someone? I never got answers, so I'm very conflicted about this show.

Censored Chinese

The Untamed

It's color coded, but FIFTY FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Grey's Anatomy? The fuck! Second, once China pulled Addicted, I was holding grudges for life because it crossed from entertainment censorship into real-world oppression, so I could not bring myself to support media from a country that openly discriminates against the queers when I live in America where our highest court is just one Supreme Court Justice away from making us all live in the damn Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Word of Honor

It's color coded, but THIRTY-SIX FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Supernatural?! The fuck! Second, I don't know the difference between this and The Untamed. Both are color-coded, one of them has a lot of uncles (?), one of them has awful facial hair, and they all have pretty outfits. Every time someone makes a reference about these shows, I just nod the same way I do when people mention Star Wars because none of it makes sense.

Guardian

I spent two years believing Killer and Healer was Guardian. I haven't watched either, but I thought they were the same show. Honestly, if this show wins, I might just watch Killer and Healer because I will forget they are not the same show. Don't they both solve cases? And because it's China, past lives must be involved, no? I'm looking at their MDLs as I write this, and I'm still not convinced they are different.

Stay with Me

It's color coded, but I know how it ends, and word on the street is that IS the ending since a second season seems unlikely. China couldn't just let me be hurt over Addicted, the original. No. Gotta hurt me again with Addicted, the remake. Rude af.

The Spirealm

First off, SEVENTY-EIGHT FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Law & Order: SVU?! The fuck! I know how this ends, and it ain't happy! I don't care how people are trying to spin it, so to sit through SEVENTY-EIGHT DAMN EPISODES just for that ending already has me irate. And don't try telling me Viki combined episodes so it's only thirty-four. That's still a lot. However, everybody who has watched it says it's phenomenal, so is the pain worth it or are these people all lying so they convince themselves it was worth it?

Korean Bromance

Beyond Evil

With most Korean dramas, I feel like I missing something important. Like some part of the story does not click with me and I stay lost for the rest of the show. I suck it up for the queers, but the not-queers-but-it-is-queer shows . . . nah, and especially one about cops . . . (-_-). Also, The Worst of Evil just showed, and it was another reminder that I need these cops to quit their jobs and just screw each other. Embrace "Be Gay. Do Crime"

The Devil Judge

I know enough about Kpop to know GOT7 would not let one of its members kiss a man in this show. I looked at those GIFs of Jeff Satur and Jackson Wang on their show knowing damn well that if Wang got too close to Satur, an entire management team would have ascended from hell and kidnapped both of them, so the promo for this show was so wild because it felt queerbait-adjacent, and I was salty about it.

WILD CARD!

This option will be automatically unlocked IF this stupid little poll gets 216 votes, so I have high hopes this will not happen since I ain't that popular and I hate this wild card which is . . .

SOTUS

This show is my original TharnType. It came out in 2016. I watched it live. I watched the sequel. I remember neither. New was in it? Off was in it?! WHAT?! I have no memory of this show except Krist wiping his mouth, and I have carried that with me for eight damn years. I loved Be My Favorite, so I thought I moved past whatever strange grudge I was holding against this man who doesn't know I exist nor care, but then I saw that trailer for The Ex-Morning, and unlike Elsa, I can't let this shit go, so I'm willing to play Jumanji and go back into the jungle to finish this once and all.

So what it's gonna be, mi gente. Which demons am I facing for Pride and what shows do I get to stay petty about? Help me decide!

[ichorai]

ties that bind ; nanami kento ; june 13th.

pairing ; nanami kento x reader

drabble synopsis ; packed lunches for four!

themes ; fluff, slice of life, established relationship (married), parents au

warnings / includes ; first introduction to baby yuriko :) this is so domestic it makes me sick, again this series is completely disregarding the shibuya incident and will be a lot of slice of life fluffy filler kind of vibes

series masterlist.

13th june, 2019

“I made lunch,” you told Nanami, handing him the sealed bento box with a warm smile. Your husband mirrored your expression, one of his hands cradling the back of your head to pull you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Thank you,” he said. Then, his keen eyes darted down to the counter, where there were three other bento boxes stacked on top of one another. “And these are for…?”

Your features turned sheepish. “I was going to bring Yuriko to come visit the school—so I made lunches for the second-year kids, as well. No doubt they haven’t had anything home-cooked in a long time.”

Something in Kento’s eyes softened. You were so painfully good and kind it made his chest ache. 

“You spoil them,” he whispered, nose nudging over the crown of your head. 

You made a noise of amusement at that. “They deserve to be spoiled.” Then, you glanced over at the round clock hanging in the kitchen. “I’ll see you in a couple hours? I think I’ll drop by around 11 or so.”

“Mhm. Try to avoid running into Gojo this time. Yuriko hates him.”

Your daughter, nearing six months old now, still burst into a fit of panicked tears every time Gojo tried to hold her, much to the excited man’s chagrin. Nanami would often proudly remark that she was his daughter. 

“I can’t promise anything. It feels like Satoru has eyes and ears everywhere,” you replied with a laugh in your voice.

Nanami frowned at the thought, but it was quick to dissipate when you leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I love you,” he said in farewell, eliciting a fond I love you, too, right back. 

With that, he whisked out of the kitchen and made his way to the door. It saddened him to leave for work before Yuriko could wake up, but he felt better knowing she was coming to visit the school with you. 

“What’s inside?” Nobara queried when you handed the three students their respective packed lunches.

“White rice with some steamed fish and veggies. There’s also watermelon chunks in the other container. You guys need to have a balanced diet, you know.” You reached out to fondly ruffle Yuji’s disheveled pink hair, knowing the boy had terrible eating habits. “You still have a lot of growing to do.”

Megumi, polite as ever, bowed his head and thanked you with a quiet tone. Nobara’s eyes had lit up at the mention of watermelon, eagerly chiming in her appreciation, as well. You grinned, and gestured for them to start eating. 

“Won’t you be eating with us?” Yuji asked, more as a request than an actual question. He was poking fingers at baby Yuriko in her stroller, pulling funny faces so that she would coo with laughter. Yuji had always been her favorite out of the three.

“I would, but I’m dropping off Nanami’s lunch, as well,” you told them, earning a pout of disappointment from Yuji and Nobara. 

The three of them began opening up their lunches. 

“Make sure to eat all of it, okay?” you told them in a mothering tone, laughing slightly when Nobara went straight for the watermelon rather than the rice. “I’ll see all of you this weekend—I was thinking we could all go to the beach. The weather calls for it, you know?”

It’d been nothing but sunshine and wispy clouds for the past week. 

Yuji tickled Yuriko’s wriggling feet within her stroller, excitedly nodding in agreement. “Sounds good with me! We could play volleyball!”

“Okay, I really should get going,” you said, waving goodbye. Before you could step away, Yuji pulled away from the baby stroller to envelop you in a warm hug, his arms wrapped tightly over your upper body. It surprised you at first, but you were quick to affectionately return the embrace. 

“Thank you for the food, and for being so considerate of us!” he said once he pulled away, saluting you with a nod. You laughed at how serious he sounded.

Swallowing her last bite of watermelon (she was definitely going to nick some from the other two), Nobara barked out, “Hey! Stop trying to be Y/N’s favorite, you suck-up!”

[astonmartingf]

YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND —

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

SPECIAL ★ ALES AND YNLONSO

amgf after that chapter, this is your gift ig enjoy it because it'll only get better (worse) from here 😀👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

ALEJANDRO ALONSO (ALES)

born on June 2019, 5 years of age

likes dinosaurs, toy cars, legos, and construction work

likes to eat ice cream, alonso's special tacos, and a specific pizza that yn makes

likes long walks on the beach with his father and mother

likes to add grass in his lego builds

currently raising a succulent with his father, they named it avi

has his own id at the hospital yn works at due to his frequency in visiting

started pre-school recently and spends most of his time in school

his favorite places are the aston martin office and anywhere with his mother and father

playmates with lewis and nico's daughters

his godfather is lance, yn's cousin

YNLONSO — FORMATIVE YEARS

met through lawrence stroll back when yn was volunteering in the medical bay at a few races

alonso would fake injuries just to go to the medical bay whenever he can, and often skipped meetings just to take a few peeks at yn

alonso became extremely jealous when someone else crashed and was brought to the medical bay, so he began to pray for everyone's safety so they don't have to meet yn

when called for mandatory check ups, alonso would always look for yn and hog her for the whole day

the grid became increasingly curious about alonso's relationship with you, despite your attempts in keeping the relationship private

broke up once after a nasty crash in 2016, yn couldn't bear seeing alonso in pain especially since she was the one treating him

yn is a date to marry type, and found a future in alonso when they got engaged in 2018

their first date was in a parking lot outside the hospital when yn was still an intern for residency, and alonso surprised yn with tacos during a night shift

once, alonso planned on surprising yn but she was stuck in a long surgery, so he fell asleep waiting for her

alonso would always stop by the hospital after races and meetings just to see yn and talk to her even if it's just a few seconds

yn prefers it when alonso was in wec due to less racing schedules, also because alonso won the year she gave birth to ales

had a mutual split much to alonso's pleas after he came out from retirement in 2021

started co-parenting at the beginning of 2022 when ales and yn moved back to spain

frequently drives to each other's house and has a spare key of each other's front door and gate

alonso kept yn as his emergency contact even after their split, so she was still getting updates from alonso

yn and alonso both use lance to get updates about each other, and use him to play messenger, which lance didn't really like at the beginning, but now he's holding a lot of their secrets

their weekly routine with ales includes walking to the beach, having one lunch outing, one dinner date and a trip to the grocery

speaking of groceries, they go buy groceries together so ales has the same food in both households

it's also customary for them to invite the other for a meal when picking up ales, but really it's alonso being a mastermind to spend more time with yn

currently, alonso is trying to make it work with yn, and is contemplating on leaving after the 2023 season to be with them

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol

[fiftiefive]

spamlikes; cl16

social media/instagram/mobile au, charles leclerc x reader

charles spam liking y/n instagram account and some fans reacting to it

yourusername_

Liked by charles_leclerc and 1,091 others

yourusername_ officially my favorite cafe

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hardincruise price range?

June 23, 2017

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yourusername_ <33

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claire_poetry pretty!

December 2, 2019

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yourusername_ sunny day today

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meghan00_ book title?

March 17, 2022

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yoursername_ two years doing crime with the best partner ever (ps. stop stalking my account charles_leclerc)

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charles_leclerc I'm on my way stalking your facebook now

yourusername_ NO

wanderingwizard omg f1 twt will be a disaster after this

44 minutes ago

[bl-bracket]

Mini-Bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL

So, as many of y'all may have heard, as of June 18, 2024 the marriage equality bill just got passed in Thailand, making it the first Southeast Asian country to legalize same sex marriage and also only one of three countries in all of Asia to legalize it (Taiwan legalized it 2019 and Nepal legalized it in 2024 as well). While technically it won't fully go into effect for another 120 days, I've planning to do something to celebrate it for a while so with great pleasure I introduce the first mini-bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL!!!

What's a mini-bracket? Well since we are currently still in the Most Unhinged Bracket (currently in the finals and about halfway through the loser bracket) and I have a planned hiatus coming up due to traveling, what it really means is that there will be a shorter submission time, no prelims, all one-day long polls, and will be running at the same time as everything else. This is just supposed to be a little fun thing to celebrate marriage equality!

Same base rules apply (which you can read in the form and in the pinned post) EXCEPT this time I'm going to open it up to all QLs! While GLs are still in the early stages of becoming an established industry compared to BLs (and thus it still feels kinda unfair to them if I were to say that that the brackets were for all qls but would still be like 90% bl at least), it didn't feel right to not include them in this one!

Also there's some extra rules this time!

For the purposes of this poll, the proposal MUST be for a queer couple (mlm or wlw)

While this is to celebrate gay marriage being legalized in Thailand, any East Asian live action bl is eligible

It must be a legitimate marriage proposal, not just an offhand comment about wanting to get married in the future or making some other type of serious commitment as a couple that isn't marriage (like moving in together). Those are all good, but not what I'm wanting to highlight here. 

Submissions Close on June, 22 @ 7 PM GMT

Submit your favorite marriage proposals in a QL Here!

@tournament-announcer

[nicolereallyhot]

TOP 8 WLW MOVIES OF ALL TIME

For this pride month I've made this list, I hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimers: It's just my opinion, and not in any particular order except for number one. I still have some classic movies to watch like Persona, Desert Hearts, Bound and Mulholland Drive. And no, Carol and Disobedience are not in my top 10.

8. You Can Live Forever

Info: Canada, 2022. Directed by Sarah Watts and Mark Slutsky. Main cast Anwen O'Driscoll and June LaPorte.

7. Summerland

Info: UK, 2020. Directed by Jessica Swale. Main cast Gemma Arterton and Gugu Mbatha-Raw.

6. The Favourite

Info: UK/USA, 2018. Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos. Main cast Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz and Olivia Colman.

5. The Summer of Sangailė

Info: Lithuania, 2015. Directed by Alante Kavaite. Main cast Aistė Diržiūtė and Julija Steponaitytė.

4. The Handmaiden

Info: South Korea, 2016. Director by Chan-wook Park. Main cast Kim Min-hee and Kim Tae-ri.

3. Thelma

Info: Norway, 2017. Directed by Joaquim Trier. Main cast Eili Harboe and Kaya Wilkins.

2. Saving face

Info: USA/China, 2004. Directed by Alice Wu. Main cast Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen.

1. Portrait of a lady on fire

Info: France, 2019. Directed by Céline Scimma. Main cast Adèle Haenel and Noémie Merlant.

Yes, POLOF is my favorite MOVIE of all time. And one day I'm gonna watch a movie who is worth of this list so I can complete number 9 and 10.

[accio-victuuri]

NOVEMBER 19 : The Full Story 📝

oh well sort of, cause this is what is known and shared publicly with tons of filling in the blanks by cpfs. someone made a side by side incidents during this day and time for the past years 2017 to now 2023 and it’s good to see it all laid out. it’s hilarious to see the realization among turtles that we could be wrong about their anniversary date. for years, we always talked about the month of June but now, November is making a great argument 😂

( these freakin masterminds are so naughty! I swear!!! 🤣🤣🤣 )

source of the compilation i’m using to outline is 圣衣雪琳 cause they perfectly summed up the key points very well. I already talked about some of these in my previous post but this is for the “11/19 lore” exclusively and so we can expand on other years.

I’m a sucker for timelines so let’s go 💪🏼

2017: At this time, they already know of each other and depending on who you ask might have already been low key stalking the other. LOL. WYB’s was about Just Dance and ZZ is a selfie and hotpot ; the latter post about going home.

I don’t think that this holds much significance in terms of an actual relationship and stuff happening behind the scenes. However, it feels like fate that they both posted on this day even without that significance being there. We cpfs love to talk about how they are fated and certain things, no matter how mundane, turned out to be a piece that completed the puzzle. There is some push back with some turtles saying this shouldn’t be included cause it seems like the start of this 11/19 is 2018 but again, just leaving this here. I could probably add 2015/2016 if we really wanna back track lol

2018: THIS IS THE KEY CPN IN ALL OF THIS. I have already explained it here. The infamous Japan trip. How both of them seemingly making references to their post from this year vs today (2023) especially XZ who even posted on the same time. There are so many rumors about this timeline, even going as far as saying the next day, they started living together. How this was WYB saying it’s WYB, not LWJ. So the relationship they have now is not between fictional characters but the real one.

I’m eating this candy whole. No one can tell me otherwise. I’m sold 🤣🤣🤣

Have we been wrong? did they officially become together 11/19/2018. Some are even pointing out that one of GG’s photos shared today appears to be him traveling back from IM to Beijing.

and who is in Beijing? His home. Yibo. 🏡

We love to think about them sharing photos to each other and i’m imagining this is ZZ sending something similar to WYB and saying that he is on his way back.

2019: Bazaar video was released, it’s message being a favorite among BXGs. Going by the assumption that this is their anniversary of sorts, it makes sense to have a message like that to be delivered.

how he met his love in a dream ( presumably that summer and playing wwx opposite wyb’s lwj ) and when he woke up, his love is still there. meaning even in reality, he still feels the same. no. it was not scripted, the one who shot it said it was xz’s answer and he was shocked too.

They posted some work related stuff on that day, with WYB’s being audi’s. the part of the caption we are clowning about is : Don’t blame me for not reminding you. Which in the original post and context is about the benefits you will get if you buy an Audi. but in cpn speak it could mean that ZZ probably forget, but he actually didn’t cause that bazaar love confession was clear.

2020: I already talked in detail over here #2 with was going on at the time.

It’s also the start of the whole Thursday is a good day to see you, in reference to WYB’s vogue post. Then it snowballed into a whole CPN of it’s own.

I forgot to add one important thing tho, around this time 11/18 there schedules were public and both are supposed to go back to Beijing. WYB was from Hangzhou and ZZ was from Nanjing. The incident of WYB changing his flight 3x so he can go back to Beijing is this time 11/18. We clowned that he was so eager to be in the same city with ZZ but with what we think now, it could be he wanted them to be together badly because it’s their anniversary the next day 11/19. 🤯

2021: Both of them posting a Douyin video that involves changing clothes. Which is a very common transition trend on the app but seeing it done on the same day was a treat and unusual. GG’s was posted 11/17 and WYB was 11/19.

I wanna remind people too that this is the same month we got the mysterious “voices” both in Shenzhen Vlog ( his husband wang yibo ) and talks of ZZ being at the Luoyang press conference filming. The same month the whole Ximalaya CPN started too. So they were definitely “acting up”.

2022: No actual posts but a parallel. 11/17, Guangdian appeared on the itunes chart because of fan’s effort. 11/18, WYB released a song ( government related ) called Light Chaser. So spotlight = light chaser has similar element and theme of light. Then on 11/20 WYB’s shared a douyin with 👀.

2023: Probably making up for how quiet last year was, they decided to give us a big hint/s of what 11/19 is all about. 😂😂😂

This is all fake and cpn talk. I do enjoy when candies go years back! This journey of trying to piece things together is a bxg’s strength so we’re really thriving today— with all the possibly unrelated events we have managed to stitch together into this! 🙃

[wintfleur]

⚘ ˖˙𓈒ִֶָ☾.˙ ᰋ ── WHERE’D ALL THE TIME GO?

aka ophelia’s timeline

━━━ ❛ it’s starting to fly

ᯓᡣ𐭩 EARLY LIFE & SCHOOLING !

april 11th, 2002: ophelia is born on a bright and sunny Thursday afternoon in Vernon, British Columbia.

may 9th, 2006: ophelia (4) takes her first ballet class

2008 - 2013: early childhood / elementary school

august 2010: ophelia (8) joined the soccer team and met her now best friend Amber Jameson; they have been inseparable since.

october 2013: ophelia (11) got an ankle injury during a soccer game and sadly had to quit the sport. Her love for ballet was stronger and she didn't want to risk not being able to dance again.

She had to stop dancing for the rest of the year so her ankle could heal, it was miserable for her.

2013 - 2016: start of her teenage years / middle school

march 2015: ophelia (12) joined the theater club and helped make the costumes for their play, in turn finding her love for fashion designing.

april 2016: ophelia (13) went to get her photos taken for her ballet portfolio and was approached by a teen modeling agency.

summer 2016: ophelia (14) went to south korea for a ballet summer intensive program.

She was housed by a sweet family, where she met one of her bestest friends seunghan and his younger brother park sunghoon who is her age. Seunghan is a fellow ballet dancer and went to the training camp with her.

Ophelia became very close with the family, only becoming closer with them as the years go by, she's an honorary park! Seunghan’s parents think of her as their own child and his little sister thinks of her as her big sis!

2016 - 2020: teen years / high school / start of her modeling career

december 2016: Ophelia (14) was on the cover of pointe magazine.

june 2017: ophelia (15) won first place in the Helsinki international ballet competition, in juniors for women.

august 2017: ophelia finished her first wedding dress that she made for her cousin's wedding.

may 2018: ophelia (16) won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2018: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

was invited to be on jimmy fallon after her win.

february 2019: ophelia (17) made her debut by walking the catwalk and attending the New York fashion week.

may 29th - june 2, 2019: ophelia walked and attended the miami fashion week

september 2019: ophelia walked and attended the paris fashion week

october 9th 2019: the creation of ophelia's youtube channel

Ophelia created her youtube channel so she could have another way to communicate and become closer with her fans.

She mainly posted vlogs of her days as a model and a ballet dancer, and her just traveling and doing random activities with her friends.

december 2019: ophelia walked and attended the NYFW: December pre-fall and fall-winter, fashion week.

february 2020: ophelia walked and attended london's fashion week, fall-winter.

Ophelia meets Ryan James, a fellow model, they exchanged numbers and Ophelia then got in a relationship with him in may.

June 2020: Ophelia (18) graduated highschool with honors.

july 2020: ophelia moved into her apartment/loft in manhattan, New York. With her best friend seunghan.

Throughout 2016 - 2020 ophelia modeled for many different high end brands, her favorites being Dior, Dolce and Gabbana, and GQ.

She was given the nickname “the next model it girl” for her sudden dominating presence in the modeling world.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 JUILLIARD & JACK !

september 2020: ophelia (18) starts her first year at juilliard

february 23 - march 1st 2020: ophelia walked and attended milan’s fashion week

march 2 - 9th 2020: ophelia walked and attend paris fashion week

Throughout the rest of the year ophelia really focused on her ballet career, putting modeling to the side, and focusing on her studies.

march 2021: ophelia (19) won the Youth America Grand Prix (YAGP)

may 2021: ophelia won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2021: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

for the rest of the year, Ophelia modeled for many different brands, but she really just focused on her ballet career and getting more known in the fashion design world.

2022 : breakup era

april 11th 2022: Ophelia (20) broke up with Ryan after finding out he has been cheating on her for many months.

april, may, june, july 2022: ophelia took a break from anything that evolved with modeling during those months, trying to heal from her breakup. Throwing herself into training, practices, and her studies.

august 2022: ophelia modeled for celine as her comeback into modeling

was invited back on the jimmy fallon show where they talked about what she's been up to, the celine shoot, and her comeback to modeling

october 6-9th 2022: ophelia walked and attended los angeles fashion week

november 2022: ophelia was interviewed by WIRED where she talked about ballet and modeling and her love for fashion design

2023: meeting jack

march 3rd 2023: curtis gets traded to the new jersey devils

march 28th 2023: ophelia and Jack meet for the first time at a club and share a kiss.

april 18th 2023: ophelia joins curtis out at a bar to meet some of his teammates, and she sees jack for the first time since the club.

they keep what happened at the bar to themselves (besides Jack freaking out about it to Luke), and pretend to just meet each other for the first time.

april 25th 2023: ophelia and jack run into each other at a bar, things escalate and jack ends up bringing her back to his place where they hook up for the first time.

the next morning they talk about what happened, and how they need to keep what happened between them a secret. They want to keep seeing each other, so they decide to become friends with benefits.

july 2023: ophelia models for calvin klein

july 17th 2023: jack confesses his feelings to ophelia after 3 months of being friends with benefits.

Ophelia didn't take it well and left his apartment in haste (girly was afraid of her feelings and commitment) and they didn't talk for two weeks.

july 31st 2023: ophelia goes to jack’s apartment where she apologizes and asks him on a date.

august 1st 2023: jack and ophelia have there first date and officially start dating (secretly)

november 6th 2023: curtis holds a dinner at his home for his teammates, curtis finds jack and ophelia kissing in the garage and did not take it well.

curtis gives her an ultimatum ‘him or me’ in a moment of anger and that leads to ophelia not talking to either of them for a week, locking herself in her apartment.

november 14th 2023: curtis comes to see her early in the day to apologize for his reaction and what he said, later in the day jack comes to see her and they have a sweet moment, happy that everything is now okay between them.

january 12th 2024: ophelia and jack said i love you for the first time

january 24-28 2024: ophelia walked and attended miami fashion week

february 9-14th 2024: ophelia attended new york fashion week fall-winter

february 16th 2024: ophelia and jack's relationship is exposed to the media when videos and pictures of them at the njd’s family skate go viral.

february 26th - march 5th 2024: ophelia walked and attended paris fashion week

may 2024: ophelia did the 73 questions with vogue

june 2024: ophelia did the “10 things I can't live without’ with GQ

may 6th 2024: ophelia (22) attended the met gala for the first time

ophelia did a get ready with me / last looks with vogue for the met

june 2024: ophelia did diary of a model with vogue

july 2024: ophelia and jack do a couple quiz with GQ

may 2025: ophelia (23) graduates at juilliard

ᯓᡣ𐭩 WHAT'S TO COME !

aka phia and jacks future

. . . to be added

ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. I didn’t add every detail about her modeling and dance career in the ‘julliard and jack’ section, it would have taken forever for me to do that 😭 I will update the timeline as time goes! I hope this helps give you a better understanding about the AU >.<

au masterlist

˖ ་ feel free to send in any thoughts/requests you have !! And please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist mwah

˖ ་ taglist : @yoontwin @toasttt11 @winterbarnesblog @iceflwers @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs

[mariacallous]

If Benjamin Netanyahu had accepted defeat in June 2021, finally yielding the stage to a coalition of his opponents, he could have retired at the age of 71 with a decent claim to having been one of Israel’s more successful prime ministers.

He had already surpassed the time in office of Israel’s founder, David Ben-Gurion, becoming the country’s longest-serving prime minister in 2019. His second stretch in office, from 2009 to 2021, coincided with perhaps the best 12 years Israel had known since its founding in 1948. The country enjoyed relative security, with no major wars or prolonged Intifadas. The period was one of uninterrupted economic growth and prosperity. Thanks to its early adoption of widespread vaccination, Israel was one of the first countries in the world to emerge from the coronavirus pandemic. And toward the end of that span came three agreements establishing diplomatic relations with Arab countries; more were likely on the way.

Twelve years of Netanyahu’s leadership had seemingly made Israel more secure and prosperous, with deep trade and defense ties across the world. But this wasn’t enough to win him another term. A majority of Israelis had tired of him, and he had been tainted by charges of bribery and fraud in his dealings with billionaires and press barons. In the space of 24 months, Israel held four elections ending in stalemate, with neither Netanyahu nor his rivals winning a majority. Finally, an unlikely alliance of right-wing, centrist, left-wing, and Islamist parties managed to band together and replace him with his former aide Naftali Bennett in June 2021.

At that point, Netanyahu could have sealed his legacy. A plea bargain on offer from the attorney general would have ended his corruption trial with a conviction on reduced charges and no jail time. He would have had to leave politics, probably for good. Over the course of four decades in public life, including 15 years as prime minister and 22 as the Likud party’s leader, he had already left an indelible mark on Israel, dominating the second half of its history. But he couldn’t bear the thought of giving up power.

Within 18 months, he was back as prime minister for the third time. The unwieldy coalition that replaced him had imploded, and this time around, Netanyahu’s camp of far-right and religious parties ran a disciplined campaign, exploiting the weaknesses of their divided rivals to emerge with a small parliamentary majority, despite still being virtually tied in the vote count.

Nine months later, Netanyahu, the man who promised, above everything else, to deliver security for Israel’s citizens, presided over the darkest day in his country’s existence. A total breakdown of the Israeli military and intelligence structure allowed Hamas to breach Israel’s border and embark on a rampage of murder, kidnapping, and rape, killing more than 1,100 Israelis and taking more than 250 hostage. The calamities of that day, the failures of leadership leading up to it, and the traumas it caused will haunt Israel for generations. Even leaving completely aside the war he has prosecuted since that day and its yet-unknown end, October 7 means that Netanyahu will always be remembered as Israel’s worst-ever leader.

How does one measure a prime minister?

There is no broadly accepted ranking of the 13 men and one woman who have led Israel, but most lists would feature David Ben-Gurion at the top. Not only was he the George Washington of the Jewish state, proclaiming its independence just three years after a third of the Jewish people had been exterminated in the Holocaust, but his administration established many of the institutions and policies that define Israel to this day. Other favorites include Levi Eshkol, for his shrewd and prudent leadership in the tense weeks before the Six Day War, and Menachem Begin, for achieving the country’s first peace agreement with an Arab nation, Egypt.

All three of these men had mixed records and detractors, of course. Ben-Gurion had autocratic tendencies and was consumed by party infighting during his later years in office. After the Six Day War, Eshkol failed to deliver a coherent plan for what Israel should do with the new territories it occupied and the Palestinians who have remained under its rule ever since. In Begin’s second term, Israel entered a disastrous war in Lebanon, and his government nearly tanked the economy. But in most Israelis’ minds, these leaders’ positive legacies outweigh the negatives.

Who are the “worst prime ministers”? Until now, most Israelis regarded Golda Meir as the top candidate for that dismal title. The intelligence failure leading to the Yom Kippur War was on her watch. Before the war, she rejected Egyptian overtures toward peace (though some Israeli historians have recently argued that these were less than sincere). And when war was clearly imminent, her administration refrained from launching preemptive attacks that could have saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers.

Other “worst” candidates have included Ehud Olmert, for launching the second Lebanon war and becoming Israel’s first former prime minister to go to prison for corruption; Yitzhak Shamir, for kiboshing an agreement with Jordan’s King Hussein that many believe could have been a significant step toward resolving the Israel-Palestinian conflict; and Ehud Barak, for spectacularly failing to fulfill his extravagant promises to bring peace with both the Palestinians and Syria.

But Benjamin Netanyahu now surpasses these contenders by orders of magnitude. He has brought far-right extremists into the mainstream of government and made himself, and the country, beholden to them. His corruption is flamboyant. And he has made terrible security decisions that brought existential danger to the country he pledged to lead and protect. Above all, his selfishness is without parallel: He has put his own interests ahead of Israel’s at every turn.

Netanyahu has the distinction of being the only Israeli prime minister to make a once reviled movement on the right fringe of the country’s politics into a government stakeholder.

Rabbi Meir Kahane, the founder of a Jewish-supremacist group called Kach, won a lone seat in the Knesset in 1984. He openly called for replacing Israeli democracy with a constitution based on the laws of the Torah and for denying Israel’s Arab citizens equal rights. During Kahane’s single legislative term, the entire Israeli political establishment shunned him. When he got up to speak in the Knesset, all of its members would leave the plenum.

In 1985, Likud joined other parties in changing election law so that those who denied Israel’s democratic identity, denied its Jewish identity, or incited racism could be barred from running for office. Under this provision, Kach was never allowed to compete in another election. Kahane was assassinated in New York in 1990. Four years later, a member of his movement killed 29 Muslims at prayer in Hebron, and the Israeli government proscribed Kach as a terror organization and forced it to disband.

But the Kahanists didn’t go away. With each Israeli election, they tried to rename their movement and adjust its platform to conform with electoral law. They remained ostracized. Then, in 2019, Netanyahu saw a roadblock on his path to reelection that they could help him get around.

Several Israeli parties had pledged not to serve in a government led by an indicted prime minister—quite possibly, enough of them to shut Netanyahu out of power. To prevent that from happening, Netanyahu needed to eke out every possible right-wing and religious vote for his potential coalition. The polls were predicting that the latest Kahanist iteration, the Jewish Power party, which is led by the thuggish but media-savvy Itamar Ben-Gvir, would receive only about 10,000 votes, well below the threshold needed to make the party a player on its own; but Netanyahu believed that if he could persuade the Kahanists and other small right-wing parties to merge their candidates’ lists into a joint slate, together they could win a seat or two for his potential coalition—just what he needed for a majority.

Netanyahu began pressuring the leaders of the small right-wing parties to merge their lists. At first the larger of these were outraged. Netanyahu was meddling in their affairs and, worse, trying to coerce them to accept the Kahanist outcasts. Gradually, he wore down their resistance—employing rabbis to persuade politicians, orchestrating media campaigns in the nationalist press, and promising central roles in future administrations. Media figures close to Netanyahu accused Bezalel Smotrich, a fundamentalist settler and the new leader of the religious Zionist party, of “endangering” the nation by making it easier for the hated left to win the election. Soon enough, Smotrich’s old-school national-religious party merged not only with Ben-Gvir’s Jewish Power but with an even more obscure, proudly homophobic party led by Avi Maoz.

Netanyahu did worry a bit about the optics. Throughout five stalemated election campaigns from 2019 to 2022, Likud coordinated closely with Jewish Power, but Netanyahu refused to be seen in public with Ben-Gvir. During the 2022 campaign, at a religious festival, he even waited backstage for Ben-Gvir to leave the premises before going up to make his speech.

Two weeks later, there was no longer any need to keep up the act. Netanyahu’s strategy succeeded: His coalition, merged into four lists, edged out its squabbling opponents with 64 of the Knesset’s 120 seats.

Netanyahu finally had the “right-wing in full” government he had often promised. But before he could return to the prime minister’s office, his allies demanded a division of the spoils. The ministries with the most influence on Israelis’ daily lives—health, housing, social services, and the interior—went to the ultra-Orthodox parties. Smotrich became finance minister; Maoz was appointed deputy minister in charge of a new “Agency for Jewish Identity,” with power to intervene in educational programs. And Ben-Gvir, the subject of numerous police investigations for violence and incitement over a period of three decades, was put in charge of a newly titled “Ministry of National Security,” with authority over Israel’s police and prison services.

As Netanyahu signed away power to the Kahanists, he told the international news media that he wasn’t forming a far-right government. The Kahanists were joining his government. He would be in control. But Netanyahu hadn’t just given Israel’s most extreme racists unprecedented power and legitimacy. He’d also insinuated them into his own formerly mainstream party: By March 2024, Likud’s candidates for local elections in a handful of towns had merged their slates with those of Jewish Power.

Likud long prided itself on combining staunch Jewish nationalism, even militarism, with a commitment to liberal democracy. But a more radical stream within the party eschewed those liberal values and championed chauvinistic and autocratic positions. For much of the past century, the liberal wing was dominant and provided most of the party’s leadership. Netanyahu himself espoused the values of the liberal wing—until he fell out with all the main liberal figures. By 2019, none was left to oppose the alliance with Ben-Gvir’s Kahanists.

Now more than a third of Likud’s representatives were religious, and those who weren’t preferred to call themselves “traditional” rather than secular. They didn’t object to cooperating with the Kahanists; indeed, many had already worked with them in the past. In fact, many Likud Knesset members by that point were indistinguishable from the Jewish Power ones. Israel’s worst prime minister didn’t just form an alliance of convenience with the country’s most irresponsible extremists; he made them integral to his party and the running of the state.

That Netanyahu is personally corrupt is not altogether novel in the history of the Israeli prime ministership. What makes him worse than others is his open contempt for the rule of law.

By 2018, Netanyahu was the subject of four simultaneous corruption investigations that had been in motion for more than a year. In one, known as Case 4000, Netanyahu stood accused of promising regulatory favors to the owner of Israel’s largest telecom corporation in return for favorable coverage on a popular news site. Three of the prime minister’s closest advisers had agreed to testify against him.

Investigations of prime ministers are not rare in Israel. Netanyahu was the subject of one during his first term. The three prime ministers who served in the decade between his first and second terms—Ehud Barak, Ariel Sharon, and Ehud Olmert—had all been investigated as well. Only in Olmert’s case did police deem the evidence sufficient to mount a prosecution. At the time, in 2008, Netanyahu was the leader of the opposition.

“We’re talking about a prime minister who is up to his neck in investigations and has no public or moral mandate to make fateful decisions for Israel,” Netanyahu said of Olmert. “There is a concern, I have to say real, not without basis, that he will make decisions based on his personal interest of political survival and not on the national interest.”

Ten years later, Netanyahu would be the one snared in multiple investigations. Then he no longer spoke of corruption in high office but of a “witch hunt,” orchestrated by rogue police commanders and left-wing state prosecutors, and egged on by a hostile news media, all with the aim of toppling a right-wing leader.

Netanyahu was determined to politicize the legal procedure and pit his supporters against Israel’s law-enforcement agencies and judiciary. Never mind that the two previous prime ministers who had resigned because of corruption charges were from the center left. Nor did it matter that he had appointed the police commissioner and attorney general himself; both were deeply religious men with impeccable nationalist backgrounds, but he tarred them as perfidious tools of leftist conspiracy.

Rather than contemplate resignation, on May 24, 2020, Netanyahu became the first sitting Israeli prime minister to go on trial. He has denied all wrongdoing (the trial is still under way). In a courthouse corridor before one session, he gave a 15-minute televised speech accusing the legal establishment of “trying to topple me and the right-wing government. For over a decade, the left wing have failed to do this at the ballot box, and in recent years have come up with a new idea. Elements in the police and prosecutor’s office have joined left-wing journalists to concoct delusional charges.”

The law didn’t require Netanyahu to resign while fighting the charges against him in court. But doing so had seemed logical to his predecessors under similar circumstances—and to Israel’s lawmakers, who had never envisaged that a prime minister would so brazenly challenge the justice system, which he had a duty to uphold. For Netanyahu, however, remaining in power was an end in itself, one more important than preserving Israel’s most crucial institutions, to say nothing of Israelis’ trust in them.

Netanyahu placed extremists in positions of power, undermined confidence in the rule of law, and sacrificed principle to power. Little wonder, then, that last summer, tensions over the role of Israel’s judiciary became unmanageable. The crisis underlined all of these reasons that Netanyahu should go down as Israel’s worst prime minister.

For 34 of the past 47 years, Israel’s prime ministers have come from the Likud party. And yet many on the right still grumble that “Likud doesn’t know how to rule” and “you vote right and get left.” Likudniks complain about the lingering power of “the elites,” a left-wing minority that loses at the ballot box but still controls the civil service, the upper echelons of the security establishment, the universities, and the media. A growing anti-judicial wing within Likud demands constitutional change and a clamping-down on the supreme court’s “judicial activism.”

Netanyahu had once minimized these complaints, but his stance on the judiciary changed after he was indicted in 2019. Indeed, at the start of his current term, Likud’s partners demanded commitments to constitutional change, which they received. The ultra-Orthodox parties were anxious to pass a law exempting religious seminary students from military service. Such exemptions had already fallen afoul of the supreme court’s equality standards, so the religious parties wanted the law to include a “court bypass.” Netanyahu acceded to this. To pass the legislation in the Knesset, he appointed Simcha Rothman, a staunch critic of the court, as the chair of the Knesset’s Constitution Committee.

He also appointed Yariv Levin, another fierce critic of the court, as justice minister. Just six days after the new government was sworn in, Levin rolled out a “judicial reform” plan, prepared by a conservative think tank, that called for drastically limiting the court’s powers to review legislation and gave politicians control over the appointment of new justices.

Within days, an extremely efficient counter-campaign pointed out the dangers the plan posed, not just to Israel’s fragile and limited democracy, but to its economy and security. Hundreds of thousands of Israelis protested in the streets. Likud began to drop in the polls, and Netanyahu privately urged the leaders of the coalition parties to delay the vote. They refused to back down, and Levin threatened to resign over any delay.

Netanyahu’s motives, unlike those of his partners, were not ideological. His objective was political survival. He needed to keep his hard-won majority intact and the judges off-balance. But the protests were unrelenting. Netanyahu’s independent-minded defense minister, Yoav Gallant, pointed to the controversy’s dire implications for the Israel Defense Forces as hundreds of volunteer reserve officers threatened to suspend their service rather than “serve a dictatorship.”

Netanyahu wasn’t sure he wanted to go through with the judicial coup, but the idea of one of Likud’s senior ministers breaking ranks in public was unthinkable. On March 25 of last year, Gallant made a public statement that the constitutional legislation was a “clear and major threat to the security of Israel” and he would not be voting for it. The next evening, Netanyahu announced that he was firing Gallant.

In Jerusalem, protesters besieged Netanyahu’s home. In Tel Aviv, they blocked main highways. The next morning, the trade unions announced a general strike, and by that evening, Netanyahu backed down, announcing that he was suspending the legislation and would hold talks with the opposition on finding compromises. Gallant kept his post. The talks collapsed, protests started up again, and Netanyahu once again refused to listen to the warnings coming from the security establishment—not only of anger within the IDF, but that Israel’s enemies were planning to take advantage of the country’s disunity to launch an attack.

The debate over judicial reform pitted two visions of Israel against each other. On one side was a liberal and secular Israel that relied on the supreme court to defend its democratic values; on the other, a religious and conservative Israel that feared that unelected judges would impose incompatible ideas on their Jewish values.

Netanyahu’s government made no attempt to reconcile these two visions. The prime minister had spent too many years, and all those toxic electoral campaigns, exploiting and deepening the rift between them. Even when he belatedly and halfheartedly tried to rein in the radical and fundamentalist demons he had ridden back into office, he found that he could no longer control them.

Whether Netanyahu really meant to eviscerate Israel’s supreme court as part of a plot to weaken the judiciary and intimidate the judges in his own case, or whether he had no choice in the matter and was simply a hostage of his own coalition, is immaterial. What matters is that he appointed Levin as justice minister and permitted the crisis to happen. Ultimately, and despite his professed belief in liberal democracy, Netanyahu allowed Levin and his coalition partners to convince him that they were doing the right thing—because whatever kept him in office was right for Israel. Democracy would remain strong because he would remain in charge.

Trying to diminish the powers of the supreme court isn’t what makes Netanyahu Israel’s worst prime minister. The judicial reform failed anyway. Only one of its elements got through the Knesset before the war with Hamas began, and the court struck it down as unconstitutional six months later. The justices’ ruling to preserve their powers, despite the Knesset’s voting to limit them, could have caused a constitutional crisis if it had happened in peacetime. But by then Israel was facing a much bigger crisis.

Given Israel’s history, the ultimate yardstick of its leaders’ success is the security they deliver for their fellow citizens. In 2017, as I was finishing my unauthorized biography of Netanyahu, I commissioned a data analyst to calculate the average annual casualty rate (Israeli civilians and soldiers) of each prime minister since 1948. The results confirmed what I had already assumed. In the 11 years that Netanyahu had by then been prime minister, the average annual number of Israelis killed in war and terror attacks was lower, by a considerable margin, than under any previous prime minister.

My book on Netanyahu was not admiring. But I felt that it was only fair to include that data point in his favor in the epilogue and the very last footnote. Likud went on to use it in its 2019 campaigns without attributing the source.

The numbers were hard to argue with. Netanyahu was a hard-line prime minister who had done everything in his power to derail the Oslo peace process and prevent any move toward compromise with the Palestinians. Throughout much of his career, he encouraged military action by the West, first against Iraq after 9/11, and then against Iran. But in his years as prime minister, he balked at initiating or being dragged into wars of his own. His risk aversion and preference for covert operations or air strikes rather than ground operations had, in his first two stretches in power, from 1996 to 1999 and 2009 to 2021, kept Israelis relatively safe.

Netanyahu supporters on the right could also argue, on basis of the numbers, that those who brought bloodshed upon Israel, in the form of Palestinian suicide bombings and rocket attacks, were actually Yitzhak Rabin and Shimon Peres, the architects of the Oslo Accords; Ehud Barak, with his rash attempts to bring peace; and Ariel Sharon, who withdrew Israeli soldiers and settlers unilaterally from Gaza in 2005, creating the conditions for Hamas’s electoral victory there the following year. That argument no longer holds.

If future biographers of Israeli prime ministers undertake a similar analysis, Netanyahu will no longer be able to claim the lowest casualty rate. His 16th year in office, 2023, was the third-bloodiest in Israel’s history, surpassed only by 1948 and 1973, Israel’s first year of independence and the year of the Yom Kippur War, respectively.

The first nine months of 2023 had already seen a rise in deadly violence in the West Bank and East Jerusalem, as well as terrorist attacks within Israel’s borders. Then came the Hamas attack on October 7, in which at least 1,145 Israelis were massacred and 253 kidnapped and taken to Gaza. More than 30 hostages are now confirmed dead.

No matter how the war in Gaza ends, what happens in its aftermath, or when Netanyahu’s term finally ends, the prime minister will forever be associated above all with that day and the disastrous war that followed. He will go down as the worst prime minister because he has been catastrophic for Israeli security.

To understand how Netanyahu so drastically failed Israel’s security requires going back at least to 2015, the year his long-term strategic bungling of the Iranian threat came into view. His mishandling didn’t happen in isolation; it is also related to the deprioritization of other threats, including the catastrophe that materialized on October 7.

Netanyahu flew to Washington, D.C., in 2015 to implore U.S. lawmakers to obstruct President Barack Obama’s nuclear deal with Iran. Many view this gambit as extraordinarily damaging to Israel’s most crucial alliance—the relationship with the United States is the very bulwark of its security. Perhaps so; but the stunt didn’t make subsequent U.S. administrations less supportive of Israel. Even Obama would still go on to sign the largest 10-year package of military aid to Israel the year after Netanyahu’s speech. Rather, the damage Netanyahu caused by presuming too much of the United States wasn’t to the relationship, but to Israel itself.

Netanyahu’s strategy regarding Iran was based on his assumption that America would one day launch an attack on Iran’s nuclear program. We know this from his 2022 book, Bibi: My Story, in which he admits to arguing repeatedly with Obama “for an American strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities.” Senior Israeli officials have confirmed that he expected Donald Trump to launch such a strike as well. In fact, Netanyahu was so sure that Trump, unlike Obama, would give the order that he had no strategy in place for dealing with Iran’s nuclear program when Trump decided, at Netanyahu’s own urging, to withdraw from the Iran deal in May 2018.

Israel’s military and intelligence chiefs had been far from enamored with the Iran deal, but they’d seized the opportunity it presented to divert some of the intelligence resources that had been focused on Iran’s nuclear program to other threats, particularly Tehran’s network of proxies across the region. They were caught by surprise when the Trump administration ditched the Iran deal (Netanyahu knew it was coming but didn’t inform them). This unilateral withdrawal effectively removed the limitations on Iran’s nuclear development and required an abrupt reversal of Israeli priorities.

Senior Israeli officials I spoke with had to tread a wary path here. Those who were still in active service couldn’t challenge the prime minister’s strategy directly. But in private some were scathing about the lack of a coherent strategy on Iran. “It takes years to build intelligence capabilities. You can’t just change target priorities overnight,” one told me.

The result was a dissipation of Israeli efforts to stop Iran—which is committed to the destruction of Israel. Iran sped further than ever down the path of uranium enrichment, and its proxies, including the Houthis in Yemen and Hezbollah on Israel’s northern border, grew ever more powerful.

In the months leading up to October 7, Israel’s intelligence community repeatedly warned Netanyahu that Iran and its proxies were plotting a major attack within Israel, though few envisaged something on the scale of October 7. By the fall of 2023, motives were legion: fear that an imminent Israeli diplomatic breakthrough with Saudi Arabia could change the geopolitics of the region; threats that Ben-Gvir would allow Jews greater access to the al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem and worsen conditions for Palestinian prisoners; rumors that the deepening tensions within Israeli society would render any response to an attack slow and disjointed.

Netanyahu chose to ignore the warnings. The senior officers and intelligence chiefs who issued them were, to his mind, conspiring with the law-enforcement agencies and legal establishment that had put him on trial and were trying to obstruct his government’s legislation. None of them had his experience and knowledge of the real threats facing Israel. Hadn’t he been right in the past when he’d refused to listen to leftist officials and so-called experts?

Hamas’s surprise attack on October 7 was the result of a colossal failure at all levels of Israel’s security and intelligence community. They had all seen the warning signals but continued to believe that the main threat came from Hezbollah, the larger and far better-equipped and trained enemy to the north. Israel’s security establishment believed that Hamas was isolated in Gaza, and that it and the other Palestinian organizations had been effectively deterred from attacking Israel.

Netanyahu was the originator of this assumption, and its biggest proponent. He believed that keeping Hamas in power in Gaza, as it had been for nearly two years when he returned to office in 2009, was in Israel’s interest. Periodic rocket attacks on Israeli communities in the south were a price worth paying to keep the Palestinian movement split between the Fatah-dominated Palestinian Authority in the West Bank enclaves and Hamas in Gaza. Such division would push the troublesome two-state solution off the global agenda and allow Israel to focus on regional alliances with like-minded Arab autocracies that also feared Iran. The Palestinian issue would sink into irrelevance.

Netanyahu’s disastrous strategy regarding Gaza and Hamas is part of what makes him Israel’s worst prime minister, but it’s not the only factor. Previous Israeli prime ministers, too, blundered into bloody wars on the basis of misguided strategies and faulty advice from their military and intelligence advisers.

Netanyahu stands out from them for his refusal to accept responsibility, and for his political machinations and smear campaigns since October 7. He blames IDF generals and nourishes the conspiracy theory that they, in alliance with the protest movement, somehow allowed October 7 to happen.

Netanyahu believes that he is the ultimate victim of that tragic day. Convinced by his own campaign slogans, he argues that he is the only one who can deliver Israel from this valley of shadows to the sunlit uplands of “total victory.” He refuses to consider any advice about ending the war and continues to prioritize preserving his coalition, because he appears incapable of distinguishing between his own fate, now tainted by tragic failure, and that of Israel.

Many around the world assume that Israel’s war with Hamas has proceeded according to some plan of Netanyahu’s. This is a mistake. Netanyahu has the last word as prime minister and head of the emergency war cabinet, but he has used his power mainly to prevaricate, procrastinate, and obstruct. He delayed the initial ground offensive into Gaza, hesitated for weeks over the first truce and hostage-release agreement in November, and is now doing the same over another such deal with Hamas. For the past six months, he has prevented any meaningful cabinet discussion of Israel’s strategic goals. He has rejected the proposals of his own security establishment and the Biden administration. He presented vague principles for “the day after Hamas” to the cabinet only in late February, and they have yet to be debated.

However one views the war in Gaza—as a justified war of defense in which Hamas is responsible for the civilian casualties it has cynically hidden behind, or as an intentional genocide of the Palestinian people, or as anything in between—none of it is Netanyahu’s plan. That’s because Netanyahu has no plan for Gaza, only one for remaining in power. His obstructionism, his showdowns with generals, his confrontations with the Biden administration—all are focused on that end, which means preserving his far-right coalition and playing to his hard-core nationalist base.

Meanwhile, he’s doing what he has always done: wearing down and discrediting his political opponents in the hope of proving to an exhausted and traumatized public that he’s the only alternative. So far, he’s failing. Polls show that an overwhelming majority of Israelis want him gone. But Netanyahu is fending off calls to hold an early election until he believes he is within striking distance of winning.

Netanyahu’s ambition has consumed both him and Israel. To regain and remain in office, he has sacrificed his own authority and parceled out power to the most extreme politicians. Since his reelection in 2022, Netanyahu is no longer the center of power but a vacuum, a black hole that has engulfed all of Israel’s political energy. His weakness has given the far right and religious fundamentalists extraordinary control over Israel’s affairs, while other segments of the population are left to pursue the never-ending quest to end his reign.

One man’s pursuit of power has diverted Israel from confronting its most urgent priorities: the threat from Iran, the conflict with the Palestinians, the desire to nurture a Westernized society and economy in the most contested corner of the Middle East, the internal contradictions between democracy and religion, the clash between tribal phobias and high-tech hopes. Netanyahu’s obsession with his own destiny as Israel’s protector has caused his country grievous damage.

Most Israelis already realize that Netanyahu is the worst of the 14 prime ministers their country has had in its 76 years of independence. But in the future, Jews might even remember him as the leader who inflicted the most harm on his people since the squabbling Hasmonean kings brought civil war and Roman occupation to Judea nearly 21 centuries ago. As long as he remains in power, he could yet surpass them.

[yurimother]

'I'm in Love with the Villainess' English Audiobook Announced

On Friday, Seven Seas Entertainment announced that it is publishing an audiobook version of Inori's isekai Yuri romance I'm in Love with the Villainess (Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou). The first volume (6 hours and 54 minutes )will be released on November 16, 2023, and the second (10 hours and 45 minutes) on December 7.

Seven Seas is releasing the audiobook under its recently announced audiobook imprint, Siren. It is narrated by voice actress Courtney Shaw (Maesetsu! Opening Act). It will be sold digitally on major platforms, including Audible, audiobook.com, BookWalker, Chrip, Kobo, Overdrive, and Nook.

Seven Seas Entertainment licenses all five volumes of the light novels in English. They follow office worker Oohashi Rei, who wakes up as Rae Taylor, the protagonist of her favorite otome game, Revolution. However, Rae is not interested in any of the game world's eligible bachelors, only having eyes for Claire Francois - the antagonist! And Rae is determined to save Claire from her destined fate.

Inori began publishing the series as a webnovel on Shousetsuka ni Naro in early 2018. GL Bunko licensed the light novels digitally in Japan and published the first volume in 2019. Hanagata draws the illustrations for the light novel. In 2021, Ichijinsha began publishing the light novels in paperback.

I'm in Love with the Villainess gained popularity in several overseas markets, including Korea and America. Critics and audiences praise it for its focus on LGBTQ+ themes, characters, world-building, and story.

A manga adaptation of I'm in Love with the Villainess began serialization in Comic Yuri Hime in June 2020. Ichijinsha publishes six collected volumes of the manga in Japanese. Inori also launched a spin-off, She's so Cheeky for a Commoner (Heimin no Kuse ni Namaikina!), which retells the the series from Claire's point of view. Gl Bunko licensed the spin-off in Japan.

Seven Seas Entertainment licensees both the I'm in Love with the Villainess manga adaptations and the She's so Cheeky for a Commoner spin-off in English. It will release volume five of the manga on October 24 (October 12 digitally) and volume 2 of the spin-off light novel on April 9, 2024.

I'm in Love with the Villainess is also inspiring a television anime adaptation. Hideaki Oba directs the anime at Platinum Vision. It premieres on October 2 and will stream internationally on Crunchyroll.

Source: Press Release, Seven Seas Official Website (release dates)