#Julian's just having the most miserable time of his life

[walkingstackofbooks]

5 times Julian watched Miles die (and one time he didn't)

When a bar fight goes horribly wrong, Julian does everything he can to save Miles. It's not enough. Miles dies, and Julian is left bereft and distraught. But this is a time loop fic, so when he wakes up the next day, Julian finds the universe has given him another chance to save his friend... And another... And another. There are many ways for Miles to die on a space station, and however much Julian tries -- furiously repressing his ever-increasing grief and dread to focus on this so-important task -- he just can't seem to stop the endless cycle. It doesn't help that, although his feelings are really too much to deal with, his friends keep pressing him to open up to them. He's fine, he insists, until he really isn't, and discovers that he does need a shoulder to cry on after all. Grief, hope, rage, hurt, comfort, despair, joy... A roller-coaster of emotions accompanies Julian through the most challenging six days of his life, and he is so, so tired.

Sound like your kind of story? Within the next few weeks, my fic 'Vision Awry' - a remix of the DS9 episode 'Visionary' - is going to start updating again, so now's the perfect time to go and read the first half! 😉 (while it's still a manageable 50k... :P )

From the end of September, I'll be resuming my regular posting schedule every week until the story reaches its conclusion - so if you're looking for a feels-y Julian WIP to subscribe to that will have both •definite updates, and •a definite end, may I shamelessly recommend that you give my fic a whirl? I am incredibly proud of it, and am so excited to be on the verge of sharing the rest of it with you all 🥰

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two

TW : Abuse of authority, alpha male, sexual harassment, the word “no” is not in this man’s vocabulary, nsfw, angst, forced proximity

After a hellish 24 hour shift, you’re starting to think you should have taken him up on his offer. Give me a foot rub then get the fuck out. However, it most definitely would not have ended at only a foot rub. You know yourself too well to think you can keep your grubby hands off that man in any sort of private, intimate setting. Yeah, you’re staying the hell away from Ludlow. 

It’s gross, but you don’t even take a shower, and pass out cold on the couch as soon as your rat's nest of hair hits the throw pillow. 

Dark, honey eyes welcome you to the land of unconsciousness. The place where you can’t control your disobedient vagina so easily. And, apparently, she liked Tom Ludlow a lot. Especially his hands. Fuck. Thick fingers, surprisingly gentle and teasing, tucking up inside you, coaxing at that sweet little spot you can’t quite get at on your own. His mouth swallowing your moans, tongue licking urgently against your teeth, practically eating you alive. Something hard and velvet pressed against your thighs. 

A loud knock wakes you up in the same position you started at. Face down on the couch, except now feeling even grosser because of the slick arousal between your legs. You stumble to the door, pull it open. It’s Ms. Higgs, your sweet next door neighbor. 

“Oh, hello, y/n, I heard…. Yelling? Is everything okay?” 

You look at her stupidly. “Yelling….?”

“Yes, it sounded like you were in distress. Sorry, is this a bad time?” She eyes your just-got-hit-by-a-semi-truck appearance, complete with gore and all. 

Oh. The dream. Oh… oh. You feel yourself freeze despite the embarrassed heat warming your skin. “Uh.” Yes, great, make her think you’re out of your mind. You try a terse smile. “Oh. Sorry. I had a long shift and I must have been having a nightmare.” 

How in the hell did you pass nursing school?

Thank God she looks like she wants to leave as soon as possible. “Right. Well.” Clears her throat. “I’m glad you’re okay. Have a good day.” She moves fast for an older woman, shutting herself back into the apartment next door before you can bid goodbye. 

Your neighbor now hates you, and you’re definitely blaming Ludlow for it. 

Shower, eat, masturbate. No, wait. Masturbate, then eat. No. Eat first so then you can masturbate as many times as it takes to get Mr. I’m a Pretty, Dark Eyed Cop With Huge Hands - 

You have to literally pinch yourself to stop this train of thought from turning into a derailed crash. 

Your plans fail miserably, and that is actually Ludlow’s fault, but you refuse to admit it. At least you’re eliminating two steps at once with the handy dandy shower head.

And then again after you eat. And then again in your bed. And, damn, you really need to invest in a vibrator like Sheila told you to do a long time ago. 

You don’t consider yourself a prude by any means; there’s just no time for adult toys or one night stands. Your job, more often than not, consumes your life, and you like it that way. The fast pace, the interesting medical anomalies you get to see, your funny coworkers, cute and oh so nice Dr. Julian who brings you all Starbucks on Sundays. You usually pick up more shifts than you’re scheduled, fueled by rising violent crime rates in the inner cities. There is a satisfaction in bringing someone back from the dead, especially someone young with their whole life ahead of them. Grim Reaper? Psh. Kiss my ass. 

***

Sometimes you need a break, and these next two days you have off are going to be that time away. 

Except, on the second day, you’re bored, so you end up going in for an eight hour shift. 

You have a bad habit of not viewing your patient’s info before you get into their exam room, favoring the ol’ fashioned method of actually looking at the person instead of a computer. As soon as you walk into your next assigned room, however, you vow to change your messy bitch ways. Handsome Cop - the one you refuse to admit you spent two full days rubbing yourself off to - sits on the cot, grinning at you like the cat that caught the mouse. 

You do feel a little bit like a tiny mouse under that hefty stare, scurrying in and going right to the computer so you don’t have to make eye contact longer than necessary - well, long enough for ruined underwear. 

“Hey.” 

“Hello, did your stitches come open?” You try to maintain a strictly professional voice, but you can tell by the sharpening of his grin it’s not working. 

“What? You’re not gonna fight with me today?” 

“Do nurses fight people where you’re from?” Here you are, playing into his game. Stupid. 

“There she is.” 

Your jaw tightens. “What are you being seen for, Mr. Ludlow?”

“Ouch, surnames? Really?”

“Surprised you know what that big word means.”

His gorgeous eyebrow cocks as he looks around the monitor at you, and you tuck yourself further behind the computer to hide. 

“Okay, okay.” He puts his hands up in surrender. Well, he puts his right hand up. His left can only rise so far into the air. “Yeah, I tore them.” 

“Can you show me?” 

He strips his shirt, revealing a long, toned torso that belongs in X-rated cinema instead of bed number 3 at the South Bay General ED. 

“Have you ever heard the phrase, close your mouth or you’ll catch flies?” He asks. 

“It’s actually, shut your mouth or you’ll catch flies.” 

“Okay, how about this one: My eyes are up here, darling.”

First of all, you didn’t even look at his bare chest that much. He’s definitely exaggerating. Second of all, well - ugh - second of all fuck you, Ludlow. 

His stitches are busted open right in the middle. You have to unstick the bloody dressing carefully and then spray the center with some antiseptic. 

“You should be more careful.” Is it just you or does he smell different tonight? Less sweat and copper, more spice and cardamon.

You do your best to shake it off. Plenty of men wear cologne everyday–it doesn’t mean he got cleaned up just for you. 

“I don’t really have anyone to be careful for.”

“Get a dog?” 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

“What why? I don’t know, blue?” 

“So I can pick out a collar you’ll like.” 

He’s joking, but the feral urge to jam your thumb right into his tearing wound is palpable. 

He realizes he fucked up when you don’t have a witty retort. 

“Oh, fuck. I didn’t mean that you’re a bitch.” If you’re giving him credit, he at least looks sorry. And sorry looks far too good on him. The big grinning Doberman turns into a wide eyed puppy dog and it makes your heart squeeze tighter. “I’m sorry. I just meant - hey, hey.” He tips your chin up so you can see the apology in his softened eyes. “I’m an asshole.” 

You flick his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” 

He must be hard of hearing, because he dwarfs your arm in his grip and pulls you closer. “C’Mon, little nurse. Now you have to let me make it up to you. Let me buy you a fancy dinner or something.” 

Pulling away is not an option, so you come up with a better idea. “Okay, fine. I will. If you can answer one question.”

He looks delighted by this. “Try me.”

“What’s my name?” 

You relish the sight of his smile wiping clean. The big grin transfers from his face to yours. 

“Seriously?”

“Well?” It’s your turn to raise a cocky eyebrow.

He tries to flip your badge frontward, but you slap his hand away. He’s quick, catches your wrist, pulls you closer so that your body is pressing into his calves, traps both of your hands in one of his and spins the badge so that he can see your picture and name. He repeats it, first and last, grins back with a vengeance. This little tussle really bruises your ego, because it doesn’t even seem like you made him wince or falter even once.

“Cheater,” you snarl. 

“Takes one to know one.” 

“Let me go.” 

“Make me.” 

“I’ll scream.” 

“Oh yeah you will.” He winks. 

Fucking sexy bastard. 

“Want those stitches worse or better?” You threaten. 

“I don’t really care,” he shrugs, eyes light with humor. “Just did it to come see you anyway.” 

“You tore your own stitches?” 

“No. Someone else did after I insulted their mother.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” 

You put him back together once again (you might have to start calling this man Humpty Dumpty, that will put him in his place) and start to peel off your gloves. “So when can I pick you up?” he asks, those dark eyes shining like high-polished ebony. 

“Half past never?”

“Hey, we had a deal.”

“We did, but then you cheated. Manhandling me at work is a major disqualification.”

“Pretty sure you liked it,” he fires back with a smirk.

You sigh, propping a hand on your hip, because he’s not wrong. You’re more than a little touch starved at the moment, and you’re sure the ease with which he manhandled you will haunt your dreams (your poor neighbor!) and fuel your fantasies for weeks to come. But there’s just something about this guy that warns you not to give in this easily. He feels…a little dangerous. To your physical health, or your personal sanity, you’re not sure. 

“Please try to be more careful with your stitches, Mr. Ludlow. Have a nice day.”

Understanding that he’s being dismissed, he stands, one step in the small room bringing him right in front of you–and boy, does he tower over you. You try to conceal how very much you like that, but fear you betray yourself in the shaky exhale that escapes you. “I’m just going to keep coming back,” he tells you, seeming far too pleased by the idea. 

“For your own health, I certainly hope you don’t.”

“I’m in a dangerous line of work. All sorts of things can happen.”

You pick up what he’s putting down pretty quick, and it annoys the shit out of you. “If you get yourself hurt on purpose, that is not on me.”

“Then save me some pain, sweetheart. Didn’t you take an oath or something? Do no harm?”

“That’s doctors. I took a pledge to practice my profession faithfully–which I’m doing. Didn’t you? What happened to ‘Serve and Protect?’”

“Sure thing. And I keep my oaths too.” The weight with which he looks at you makes something warm and uncomfortable coil in your belly, radiating outwards to your fingers and toes. 

A man who keeps his promises? 

Never heard of him. 

You are too young to be this jaded, but maybe it’s better that you learned the hard lessons quicker than most. Maybe it will save you some pain in the interim. Avoiding this utterly edible man in front of you probably falls into that category. 

You stand silently, waiting for him to leave. He seems to find this funny as hell, and tips an imaginary cap down at you. “See you soon, y/n.” 

You hope not, but you’re afraid that’s a promise he’ll keep. 

[evilspiritweek]

Super quick online activity tier list.

Notes:

Treating "Facebook" as weird catch all. Like- technically you have social media, but it's kinda sort of just there

Some of these characters wouldn't have access to the internet (Plop Plop, Sorcerer, etc.) but if we gave them the internet as a treat, I imagine this is how they would react.

more thoughts underneath

Heidi: Appeals to the masses, so while I thought she wouldn't be super into the going ons of the internet, she's so obsessed with it I think she'd find herself going into rabbit holes. Definitley would have a drama channel on youtube, but any drama there is for chronically online people; if she brought it up IRL, I think ppl would see something wrong with her <3

Theresa: I think all of Der Monster Klub is chronically online to some degree, Theresa's no exception. At the same time, she'd be good at hiding it, mainly because then she'd have people from her school finding out about her tumblr.

Julian: is in the same area, although, I think he would also be surfing tumblr in public.

Levandar: Terminally online, but that's because he more so ego searches and sees what his fans are posting. In turn, he's probably not only seen the deprave stuff his fans would post about himself, but also the other fandoms their in.

Stevens: I think would just be a shitposter. Don't really have a specific niche in mind for him because I think he could go into really any sector of the internet and

Sorcerer: does not have internet access, but I can see the potential, you know? Would send anon hate like it's a living, because when you're trapped under a high school for hundreds of years it probably is. Unrealistic, but I think he would get into weird niche tik tok drama just for the fun of it.

Daves: like,, a normal amount, but that's because he doesn't really interact much? Outside of the Der Monster Klub, I imagine he would just lurk. That being said, he is definitely privy to the weirdest internet rabbit holes

Ignoring how busy he is with being a ninja, Randy would probs be online a regular amount. Definitely posts random youtube videos, but he's like,, trying to be youtuber so uploads are sporadic. Also, this boy does touch grass. He seems to want to be active in the social life of high school and that means hanging out in person rather than blogging on tumblr lol

Howard: Same level as Randy, but I can also see this guy trying his hand at streaming. Sporadically does it with no set schedule and it's only ever Randy and a few other people in chat, but like. It's fun. they're teenagers.

Bash: Normal amount? I don't think I have a lot to say on him, really. posts like,, pictures of all the stuff he owns to flex, but that's what any rich teenager would do. Would say something dumb online, but it never really blows out of proportion.

Brent: I think he'd really only post his work. Would occasionally vent too. Blew up at some random person who left a hate comment, making it his sworn duty of the day to make them just as miserable.

Debbie: I think she's not super social and really would keep up with her friends and like, the school accounts. That being said, I can see her running the social media for the news club too, that's where her passion lies afterall. Thinks about making a news/commentary youtube channel, but just doesn't have the time

Marci: I was initially going to put her down as a Facebook mom, and while she does have one, I also see her almost being like one of those Instagram influencer moms too. She does have the status already, so I think it would just come naturally to her. Thankfully, because she's already rich, she wouldn't try shilling you an MLM. Def follows her son on social media, but doesn't comment because Bash said it's embarrassing.

Flute Girl: Tumblr user, but not in trenches, you know? Runs several aesthetic blogs for each of her interests, but actually is sane enough to just block and move on. Could also see her writing fanfic, but most of it doesn't get posted because she might be a bit self conscious

P: I think bros neat design wise, so while I don't have many thoughts on him, I wanted to include him lol

Plop Plop: if this guy had social media, I think he'd be into the DIY stuff, for some reason? Never really posting his own tutorials, but always there to comment and help others out on forums

Rachel: Normal amount. Pinterest board game goes CRAZY. One of those cute aesthetic tumblrs, but genuinely a nice person. Avoids drama at all costs

Doug: Get the vibe his parents would restrict internet access. That being said, could also see him on Reddit, so..?

McFist: I don't think he would use social but instead pay someone to post McFist posts both for himself and his businesses. Does not understand it and is a very busy man.

Slimovitz: Just has a Facebook. Reposts minion memes and cat photos. He used to post about his car, but then a student found it and turned it into a meme showing the before and after of it's destruction one day. He put a ban on phones for a bit. They never found the culprit.

Bucky: Also probably had restricted internet for a while. Interested in getting a social media, but they say he has to be above 16. I imagine he'd actually want to post band videos, though, so that'd be nice

Jacques: He does have parkour videos, but I don't think he actually likes talking online. Touches grass.

Sorceress: I think she'd be on social media like any "teen" would, but I don't think she'd get it. Posts selfies, but also doesn't really post them enough

Viceroy: I just imagine this guy goes on engineering or science related forums and solves problems, but he'd like,, also be the dude that would message the answer directly to the initial poster so when you find the forum 10 years later for your very specific problem, the answer isn't there. Could also be on tumblr to and while he says he's above it, would start shit online (or at the very least keep tabs on it to watch from afar).

Juggo: I can't see him on social media, but like,, frequent poster in clown related forums and accounts? Would answer weird clown trivia questions and is a respectable member in the historical clown community.

McAffee: Business has a Facebook that hasn't been updated for several years because he keeps forgetting about it. Also would occasionally post on youtube, but I feel he really shines nestled deep within the comments of a random youtube video he got mad at. The comment was about how the Star Wars prequels suck and by the 100th comment, it's moved onto furry discourse.

Morgan: I think she lurks more than anything. Her account has nothing and if you ever see her, it's one of the other members of dancing fish posting and her showing up in the video (I also think I just make Morgan more mysterious than she actually is lol)

Ranginald Bagel: Goofy guy with next to no internet access. If he did, he would sadly

S. Ward Smith: I can't even see this man on any like specfic welding forums online.

Finja: I think even if we gave him internet access, he'd actively avoid it. He's got other shit to do. Doesn't understand the youth's slanguage. Like that one post where that person shows Fortnite to an Ancient Roman that I can't find for the life of me, someone PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME BEGGING

[maries-tales]

WHERE THEY LIKE TO KISS YOU

characters: Julian, Aaron, Adam

warnings: suggestive, mentions of dark content, mdni

JULIAN: Nape 

Of course during his time watching you Julian learned to love every inch of you, every nook and cranny of both your looks and your personality. From your qualities to your worst flaws, he loves it all and takes it all as yet another part of you. 

Exception being those nasty habits you have of neglecting your sleep and your health, those are things Julian likes to think he can change. 

However he always found himself especially attracted to your nape. For many reasons. 

He loves how elegant it is when you wear your hair up, which, to his greatest enjoyment, is most of the time considering your hair is more often than not up in a ballet bun. 

He loves the gentle slope of your nape as well, how soft the skin is and how it always smells of your perfume. All that makes it the perfect spot for him to bury his face in the crook of your neck and bathe in the comfort of your scent. 

The one thing he loves most about it is how sensitive it is though. No matter how many times he’s wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed you there, you always lean into his touch with a sound between a sigh and a gasp. 

You’re sitting up on the bed, tying your hair up to get them out of your way and get yourself ready for the day ahead. Julian groans behind you, shifting in bed and sitting right behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back against his chest. 

A surprised gasp falls from your lips followed by a quiet chuckle. 

“Good morning.” He says, voice deep with remnants of sleep and muffled by your skin. 

You don’t have time to answer, another gasp escaping you as his teeth lightly dig into the flesh of your nape. Julian eases the stinging pain with his tongue and a kiss. Only to continue nibbling at your skin until it blooms purple and red with the mark of his love. 

“Don’t move. I am not done yet.” He says against your skin, pulling you closer and tightening his embrace around you. Wishing the two of you could stay together in bed a bit longer. 

Alas he knows that is impossible. He can still prolong your time together though. 

“But what if someone sees it-”

“Let them.” 

To him, it’s a reminder to you and others that you are his. But also a reminder to himself that his dream of being together with you finally came true thanks to all his hard work. 

And often you find him gazing at the love bite on your nape with fondness and a soft smile. A look that always melts your heart. 

AARON: Hands

One thing Aaron remembers clearly when he was a child is how his father and mother would always hold hands, how his father would kiss the top of his mother’s hand and gently glide his lips over her wrist. 

As a child, Aaron used to think this was the most romantic of gestures and he dreamed of doing this with someone dear to his heart at some point as well, before his dreams of romance were shattered by the accident that had taken his mother’s life. 

After that the world froze over around him and any romantic delusions he had vanished from his thoughts. 

After all Aaron had seen the effects of love on his father, how it had destroyed him from the inside out after Aaron’s mother’s death. How it had made the greatest of man in Aaron’s mind, into a miserable shadow drowned in liquor. 

Aaron never wanted this for himself. He didn’t want to become like his father. 

So he thought that the best option would be to cut the problem at its root. 

Love. Nothing more but a burden, nothing more but the deadliest and most destructive of emotions. Something he could do without. 

And he was doing just fine. Until he met you, that is, and until you flipped his world upside down. 

Suddenly Aaron found himself rekindling old childhood daydreams. Mainly that simple act of holding your hand and kissing the back of it. As stupid as it sounded, it was everything to Aaron.  

Of course he loves how soft your hands are in his own, how small. How smooth your skin is under his lips as he kisses your palm and the inside of your wrist. 

But more than anything he loves all that this simple gesture entails. 

That you trust him, enough to be on intimate terms with him, in spite of how much of an asshole he was to you at the start and in spite of how socially inept he still is. 

That he is not alone anymore, trapped in the cold cage he had crafted for himself after his mother’s death. The simple sight of your intertwined hands a reminder for Aaron of how much brighter the world is by your side, of how happier he is now that he’s with you. 

And more importantly: that Aaron wasn’t his father, and that he’d never allow you to flee away from his grasp like his mother had. If he kept you safe, there was no reason for you to leave, right? 

Thus, hand kisses became to him the symbol of his love and devotion for you. 

Sensibility and vulnerability bleed through his lips onto your hand as his eyes bore into yours. He raises your hand to his lips, his skin warm against yours. And he presses the lightest of kisses to the top of your hand, lips barely gracing your skin. A silent pledge of his devotion, of his trust. 

A silent reminder that his heart has no other master but you. And another way to say “I am yours.”

ADAM: Lips

Adam can’t count the amount of time he’s dreamed of kissing you before the two of you were together, of holding you close and having a taste of happiness on the sore of your lips as the world vanishes around him. 

He imagined it might taste sweet and feel like heaven. Like everything good in this world. He knew it’d be perfect. 

But nothing could have prepared him for just how perfect and addictive kissing you would turn out to be. As nothing could have ever compared to the real thing, to the real you and the real euphoria of his heart bursting in his chest as his lips pressed against yours and his tongue slid inside your mouth. 

The first time he kissed you Adam thought he’d die from how wildly his heart was hammering in his chest. It was just so right. And he could never see himself getting bored of this. 

His arms snake around your waist, pulling you closer and closer, flush against him, desirous for the two of you to melt into one. For you to swallow him whole and cradle him in the universe of your arms. He aches to discover every inch of you, to climb under your skin and map all the details in your body. 

Adam cups your cheek gently, a gesture that contradicts the desperation in his kiss. A man starved for something he can never get enough of, your heart, your touch and your soul. 

He’s eager to rediscover the taste of your lips all over again every time, knowing that each time feels like the first. 

“I never tire of this…” He says, eyes feverish as he looks at you, his lips red and raw, “I’m sorry, please let me kiss you again?” 

And again, and again, and again. Until his lips turn blue and he can’t breathe anymore. Until his lungs burn for air and his head spins. 

[nonotnolan]

Cooperation

Normally, Saturday afternoons were the ideal time for Tobias to hit the gym.  Most of the guys who would have distracted him from his workout were too busy watching football, leaving him free to use the gym alongside people who were just as out of shape.  Occasionally there was a women’s volleyball team who would be here, but athletic women in spandex really wasn’t his thing.  He was a gay man, no matter how much his family wished otherwise.  His family kept pressuring him to settle down and find a nice woman who would pump out some kids to keep the Parker family name going.  He barely had enough confidence to talk to guys his own age-- telling his own family to pound sand was quite beyond him.

He had never been brave enough to try and ask out a man outside of Grindr before.  Tobias was convinced that if he tried to hit on anyone at the gym, they’d make his life miserable... although there was one guy who was making it pretty hard to follow his self-imposed rule of only talking to men via gay dating apps.  Julian, based on what he had overheard at the front desk a few weeks ago.  The entire reason Tobias worked out during odd hours was to avoid offending anyone with his wandering eyes, but Julian seemed to thrive on the attention.  If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Julian had started trying to copy his schedule.

“Slow day, huh?” Julian said, walking past Tobias’s treadmill.  “I think we might be the only two guys here.”

He could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment.  “I... yeah, I guess so,” he said, focusing intently on the console in front of him.

Julian leaned in, close enough to fill Tobias’s nostrils with the scent of his musk.  “Come join me in the locker room,” he whispered.  “I’ve got something that I want to show you.”

He watched as the wall of muscle retreated into the men’s locker room, his shoulders swaying back and forth as he walked.  Tobias could hardly believe what was happening, quickly hopping off the treadmill before Julian changed his mind.  He practically sprinted into the locker room, turning the corner to see the man standing next to his open locker wearing nothing but a jock strap, damp and yellowed with sweat.

“See something you like?” Julian said, pulling at the elastic with his fingers and letting it bounce back with a loud snap.  “Come closer, I bet it tastes better than it looks.”  Tobias said nothing, kneeling down in front of him as he waited for Julian to free his growing manhood from the fabric that strained to keep it held in place.  Instead, Julian grabbed Tobias by the hair, yanking his head close to his thigh.  A sharp needlepoint pinched the back of his neck, and everything went dark.

---------------------------------------------------

“Sorry kid, just following orders.” As Tobias slowly regained consciousness, he found himself slumped against the locker room wall, watching someone who looked exactly like him pack up his things for the day.

“You’re not gonna try and blab, are you?  I won’t lose any sleep if I have to kill you to keep you silent, but I’d rather you didn’t force my hand.  All you have to do is forfeit your current life, and I’ll let you live that one.  Steep cost, sure, but it’s not like you particularly seemed to enjoy being Tobias Parker.”

He looked down at himself, only to find that his pale, scrawny chest had been replaced with massive, bronzed pecs.  “You... swapped our bodies?  Why on earth would you give all of this up just to be me?”

“Well, it’s not like that was my original body,” said the new Tobias.  “But I was hired by your father to take over your life.  You’re about to have a sudden Straight Christian Awakening so that you can marry a nice girl, have some kids, and do whatever else the man is willing to pay for me to do.”

Tobias slowly clambered to his feet, examining his new body in a nearby mirror.  Julian’s beard was lush and thick-- much better than the pathetic hairs that his own body grew.  “That stubborn bastard, I shouldn’t be surprised that he would stoop this low to make me obey him.  Though... I don’t understand why you need my cooperation?”

The new Tobias shrugged.  “I don’t have access to any of your online accounts.  If you tried to fight back, it could give us quite a headache.  All it would take is one well-timed Facebook post, and you could send the house of cards tumbling down.  It’s not enough for me to own your body, I also have to own your life.”

“Pfft, you want my life?  You can have it,” he said, shrugging his newer, wider shoulders.  “I have better things to do than to start a family.  Hell, I’ll even give you passwords and tips on how to be me if you promise to return the favor.  Sound like a deal, Tobias?”

The young man smiled, running his fingers through his new thick head of hair.  “It’s a deal, Julian.”

---------------------------------------------------

The new Julian Verdun checked his phone, eager to see if there were any available twinks in the area.  Normally, Saturdays were the ideal time for Julian to check Grindr.  Most of the guys who might be his competition were too busy watching football, leaving him free to scroll the app alongside twinks and bottoms.  Occasionally there might be a leather daddy online, but hairy men in harnesses weren’t really his thing.  He was a gay man, and his family accepted their son’s new orientation.  His family was content to let Julian live his own life, and that suited him just fine.  He was a confident man, and he never hesitated to put people in their place.

[straycalamities]

for your uhh edfgy oc memes

you can pick the oc/s but 🫴 gimme 4, 6, 10, 17

DONT MAKE ME PICK WThfowieugiu

well not entre because at this point ive answered almost all of those with him uhhh ill do andrew and ace because they're my special boys

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

andrew: i think with him it very much depends on what the thing scaring him IS. if it's dangerous he's gonna flee. if it's scary because he can't understand it, he'd freeze if he's scared but someone he cares about is also under threat, he'd fight. that kinda thing

ace: he flees or fawns. every time. just depends. or like attempts to fawn, it doesnt work, so he flees. he's a wimp and a coward who only has his silver-tongue as a weapon, so. i think if it was really bad though, he'd freeze. because it's unlike him, he always has Something to react with. delicious

6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

andrew: it would be very hard. he's a Good Boy. something/one dear to him would have to be threatened because even if it was just him, he'd just take that bullet (or whatever it was) rather than do what they're trying to make him do though? if he has someone who he's wrapped around the finger of, it'd be a smidge easier. i mean julian had him ruining people's lives lowkey sometimes, but it was fine because he just didn't think about it and it made julian happy

so yeah it depends on WHO is trying to make him do it or just the situation in general but overall? id say its tough and requires specific requirements to be met, the most important being: if he does do this, it's not so black & white Bad. if it's black & white bad or good he's gonna dig his heels in the dirt harder

ace: just give him money. for real. he'll do almost anything for a certain price. otherwise, just threaten to kill him. he'll LITERALLY do anything then. he likes his life too much. however when he becomes close to andrew, all that becomes...less effective because he wants to do right BY andrew <3 or really anyone that managed to worm their way past all his walls and into his heart that's like..a generally good person

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

skipping andrew obviously

for ace hmmm...really just anything that puts him against the wall. really pushes him without quite breaking him. sooo i guess any AU that brings a lot more danger into the equation. because in any AU that's chill or pleasant the interest comes from him being a fucking Clown (both because he can be funny and because his interpersonal issues make a lot of melodrama)

but i personally love seeing how many pieces i can break him into until he stops trying to put himself back together. i don't want him to reach that point because that's boring, but i like pushing it. like i made him so happy and his life so perfect literally so i could ruin it in his...well initial canon universe...

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

andrew: hmmm...julian i guess typically. but moreso because i haven't officially plotted the zombie apocalypse story aka his canon. so i might come up with even worse (better) things to put him through :)

for both: there was one time in an AU where i had a demon possess ace and basically was intentionally trying to ruin his life (namely his relationship with andrew) and that was awful for both of them <3 (this was prior to cult au and probably lowkey inspired it i think)

ace: CANONLY...well in the supernatural/horror story i don't fully know yet because i'm still plotting but in cult au...i think the whole thing is probably the worst thing i've put him through for Now. he hides it but he's absolutely miserable and going Through It at all times. losing his self, his agency, and worse is everyone loves that for him

[ailendolin]

Grace - Chapter 5

Title: Grace [AO3]

Characters: Thomas, Alison, Mike, Baby Cooper, the Ghosts, the Plague Ghosts

Summary: “Mike and I are going to have a baby.”

Baby Cooper’s arrival at Button Houses changes many things, and all for the better - at least at first. Or as Mary once said: babies can see ghosts sometimes but usually only up until they can walk.

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

————

Grace

Chapter 5: The Search

Thomas is gone for three days.

Alison is out of her mind with worry, and she isn’t the only one.

“He was very clearly upset,” Fanny says when Alison finally finds the strength to leave her still crying daughter in Mike’s care and come downstairs the evening everything changed.

All the ghosts are there, even Humphrey’s head, and they turn to her the moment the stairs creak under her feet and alert them to her presence.

“He was crying,” Kitty says, her voice uncharacteristically subdued as she glances at the door Alison assumes Thomas has vanished through. The others nod, wearing matching miserable expressions. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry before. Not like this.”

“What happened, Alison?” the Captain asks, always straight to the point. But not even he can hide his worry behind the strict tone.

Alison takes a deep breath so she won’t start crying again when she explains, “Grace – she can’t see you guys anymore.”

Most of the ghosts’ faces fall – all except for Mary’s. Her eyes light up with sudden, heart-breaking understanding. “Oh! Because she be walking now.”

“Oh no,” Pat murmurs, looking up the stairs from where Grace’s cries still could be heard, though faintly.

“Yeah,” Alison sighs in agreement and falls silent. She doesn’t know what else to say. Her heart feels broken and she wants nothing more than to wrap her family – all of them, alive and dead – into her arms and grieve with them a loss she can’t even begin to fathom. She tries to imagine her life without the ghosts and comes up empty. The mere thought of waking up one morning and not hearing Fanny scream or the Captain call for her to mark his time hurts.

And now her daughter is going through that very pain Alison’s mind instinctively shies away from, and so are the ghosts.

In the end, it’s Julian who finally breaks the silence.

“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” he says softly. The others murmur in agreement.

“We shall miss spending time with young Grace,” the Captain says. His eyes drop to his swagger stick and he sounds more than a little choked up when he adds, “It was an honour to make her smile.”

Alison feels her own throat close up as one by one, the ghosts share their favourite memories of Grace. Her daughter is so very, very loved, and Alison wants nothing more than to turn back the clock for just a few hours so they can all experience that love together one last time and cherish it as they should have from the beginning on.

She doesn’t even realise she is crying until Fanny steps forward and offers her a sad but understanding smile. “You should probably go and get a handkerchief, my dear.”

“I don’t think one will do,” Alison mumbles and wipes her face on her sleeve instead. Upstairs, Grace’s cries reach new levels in volume. There’s one word she wails over and over: Thomas’s name. Helplessly, Alison looks at the ghosts. “How am I going to explain to her that she’ll never see him again?”

The ghosts are as much at a loss as she is.

“You go be with her,” Robin finally says. “And we go be with Thomas. That all we can do.”

Alison sniffs. “That sucks.”

Robin nods solemnly. “Me know. But it all we can do.”  

With a heavy heart, Alison watches them leave the house before she goes back upstairs to re-join the small, living part of her family. Mike is still holding Grace in his arms, rocking her gently as she hiccups against his shoulder. Her little face is red with exhaustion and as tear-stained as Alison’s is, and Alison’s heart breaks anew when the first thing her daughter asks upon seeing her is, “’Omas?”

“No, baby,” Alison whispers and lets Mike pull her into the hug. “Thomas isn’t here.”

Grace’s lower lip begins to tremble and then her cries resonate through the old house once more. Mike holds her close, holds them both close, and together they move to the bed and settle down for a long night.

————

It takes hours until Grace finally cries herself to sleep. Midnight has come and gone by the time Alison extricates herself from Mike’s arms and tiptoes down to the kitchen to make herself a much needed cup of tea. The house is eerily quiet this time of night, and when she goes back upstairs, warm cup in her hands, and glances through the open door into the Captain’s empty room she realises why.

The ghosts are still not back.

Her heart starts hammering in her chest as she turns to the window, hoping to see their familiar figures out on the lawn. It is a moonless night, though, and the grounds of Button House are shrouded in darkness so impenetrable Alison can’t even make out the fountain, much less anything beyond that.

“They’ll be fine,” she whispers to herself. “There is nothing out there that can hurt them.”

And yet her chest tightens at the thought of all of them out there in the dark searching for one of their own, and even more so at the thought of Thomas hiding himself and his grief away so desperately that he cannot be found.

Alison doesn’t know how long she stands by the window and keeps watch, hoping to see her family come home – all of them. When Mike’s gentle footsteps come up behind her, the tea in her hand has long gone cold.

“Why are you not in bed?” he murmurs against her neck.

“The ghosts are still looking for Thomas,” Alison whispers. She turns around in Mike’s arms and looks up at him. “What are we going to do, Mike?”

She sees her own helplessness reflected in his eyes when he shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, Ali. I don’t know.”

————

“We looked everywhere,” Kitty tells her the next morning, her eyes wide with exhaustion and worry. Next to her, Mary nods and stifles a yawn.

“Perhaps he gots sucked off,” she says.

Alison drops the spoon into Grace’s breakfast bowl as the room falls deadly silent around her.

No, she thinks desperately. Please god, no. She couldn’t bear it if Thomas–

“It not work like that,” Robin says. He is bouncing on the balls of his feet, restless, his eyes straying to the kitchen door every few seconds. He’s itching to leave. “Thomas is sad. You don’t leave when you’re sad.”

“Then where is he?” Julian asks in frustration. “It’s not like he could have hitched a ride into the city, you know?”

Robin shrugs. “He good at hiding.”

“Oh, me too!” Kitty announces excitedly before her eyes glaze over for a moment and her face falls. She looks down at the floor and asks, very quietly, “Do you think he’s scared?”

Like I was. The words go unsaid and yet Kitty might as well have shouted them. A heavy silence fills the kitchen and Alison feels a lump form in her throat.

Of course he’s scared, she thinks. He’s alone and hurt and–

She firmly puts a stop to those thoughts before they can spiral. It won’t help any of them if she lets her worry and frustration get the better of her now, least of all Grace who is finally allowing her to feed her after being fussy about it all morning.

On the other side of the table, the Captain clears his throat. “Well, seeing as Thomas is still MIA I suggest we organise another search.”

Pat nods in agreement. “Yes, let’s split up in pairs. Kitty, you can come with me and–“

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Fanny interrupts him. All eyes turn to her. A little flustered, she continues, “We’ll cover more ground if each of us searches alone and thus double our chances of finding him.”

While the ghosts mull that over, Alison gives her a grateful smile. “Sounds like a good plan to me. Wouldn’t you agree, Captain?”

The Captain’s hold on his swagger stick tightens as he straightens up. “Of course, yes.”

“And we should search the house too,” Fanny adds. “Maybe Thomas has come back last night and we didn’t notice.”

“We could also ask the folks down in the basement for help,” Humphrey suggests from where his head is resting sideways on the table.

Julian makes a face. “Aw no, not that lot.”

Robin elbows him in the side. “Is for Thomas.”

“All right, all right,” Julian grumbles, then pointedly gestures at his ribs and says, “Ow.”

They file out of the kitchen with the Captain deciding on the move who should search where, and Alison watches them go with a heavy heart. She wishes she could help but with Mike already at work and Grace having more of her breakfast on her face and clothes than in her stomach, she knows it will have to wait. She can’t help but glance out the windows when she takes Grace upstairs for a change of clothes, though, or when they come back down. Her eyes seize every opportunity to roam over the forest and every time she gets her hopes up, thinking Thomas will walk out of the trees.

He never does.

Alison eventually joins the search once Mike gets off work and takes Grace off her hands but by the time darkness falls and forces her to trudge back to the house, there is still no sign of Thomas. The others had no luck finding him either and she quietly begins to worry that Mary might have been right, that Thomas had moved on.

The thought is unbearable.

Dinner is a quiet affair that evening and Alison is glad Mike manages to feed Grace at least half of what’s on her plate before the clock chimes nine and she begins to look around the room with teary eyes, clearly waiting for Thomas to appear. Alison heaves a heavy sigh. “Let’s get you to bed.”

She’s about to stand up, only halfway through her own meal, when Mike puts a hand on her shoulder. “Eat up. I’ll go get her changed.”

Alison feels her lips tug up into a tired but grateful smile. She’s not feeling particularly hungry but she manages to eat the full plate anyway. The ghosts watch her silently and Alison knows they expect her to say something, to find a way to make this all okay but she has no idea how she’s supposed to do that. So she keeps her eyes on her plate and only looks up when Grace’s cries for Thomas start to echo down the stairs once more.

“I better go,” Alison murmurs.

“Right,” the Captain says. “Back to work, people.”

Alison stops and turns around. “Wait, you’re going back outside?”

“Well, we haven’t found him yet, have we?” Fanny points out. The others all nod in agreement and suddenly Alison’s chest feels too tight. She looks into the tired faces of her family, at the way Kitty keeps blinking to keep herself awake and Robin fidgets with nervous energy, and her heart aches with more love than she knows what to do with.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourselves, too,” she finally manages to choke out.

The Captain gives her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll just do another sweep along the borders. The ghosts from the basement have offered to take over the night search.” He clears his throat before he adds in a conspiratorial whisper, “They might not be soldiers but they seem to have the heart for the job.”

“I’m sure they do,” Alison whispers. It’s almost too much, seeing all the ghosts of Button House rally together despite their differences to find one of their own and make sure he is okay. She wonders if Thomas knows how loved he truly is, how empty the house feels without him. Alison misses him and she can tell the others do too even if they’re not as vocal about it as Grace is.

Her daughter is still crying her heart out when Alison enters the bedroom and just like the night before, she and Mike curl up on the bed and wait out the storm with soothing words and gentle touches that seem to be no help at all.

When Alison finally falls asleep that night, she dreams of roses weeping in the woods.

————

The next morning bring neither news nor change. The sun rises in the East, Grace is crying and refusing her breakfast and Thomas is still missing. It’s been two days now and even Pat who tried his best to stay positive the whole time can’t hide his growing worry anymore when the plague ghosts shuffle into the kitchen and shake their heads.

“Sorry,” Nigel says in a small voice and looks at his feet. “We haven’t found him.”

Alison’s heart sinks but she manages to give him a trembling smile. “Thank you for trying.”

Nigel and the others nod. “We’ll help you look again after we got some rest.”

Alison watches them go before she turns back to her cereal. She doesn’t feel hungry anymore. In fact, she doesn’t feel much of anything apart from that horrible emptiness inside her that aches for Thomas’s smile and ridiculously flowery words. Grace squirms in her lap, turning her head this way and that as if she’s sensing the ghosts’ presence and trying to find them. For a moment she looks right at Julian – no, right through Julian – making Julian swallow hard and look away. When Robin’s eyes flick to him, he mutters, “I’m fine.”

But he’s not. None of them are. They’re all hurting and have no idea how to stop.

“Well,” the Captain begins, clearing his throat. His fingers are once again wrapped tightly around his swagger stick. “No sense in dawdling. We still have a man missing.”

One by one, they file out of the kitchen but where yesterday they had been eager to start the search, this morning their shoulders are drooping and their heads hanging low. No one is saying it but Alison knows they’re all feeling it: an increasing hopelessness fuelled by the horrible notion of what if. She doesn’t want Thomas or anyone else to move on, selfish as that may be, but even more so she doesn’t want him to move on like this: hurt and alone. Just like he died.

When was the last time she had told him and the others how much she loves them? That they make her life so much better with their noise and chaos and are the best family anyone could ask for? Alison doesn’t know. She looks down at her daughter and holds her close, presses her lips against her dark hair and tries to breathe through the pain that keeps mounting within her.

“I love you, Grace,” she whispers. “Daddy and I love you so much, and so do the ghosts.”

Grace looks up at her, her eyes wide and sad. “’Omas?”

Alison swallows hard. “Thomas loves you too.”

“Then where is he?” Grace’s dark eyes seem to say.

————

By the time dinner rolls around that day Alison has resigned herself to the fact that Thomas will stay missing for another night. The ghosts are still out searching for him, have been the whole day, but Alison can’t get her hopes up anymore. She just can’t, not with Grace demanding her whole attention right now. It’s clear Thomas doesn’t want to be found – if he indeed still can be found, a treacherous voice whispers in the back of her mind. She has to accept that he will come back to them when he’s ready, even if it breaks her heart to know he’s alone.

Mike is in the process of trying to get Grace to eat her mashed potatoes when the sound of running footsteps makes Alison look up from her own dinner. A second later Kitty bursts through the kitchen and breathlessly declares, “We have found him!”

Alison almost topples over her chair in her hurry to get up.

“It’s Thomas!” she explains, already halfway out of the room, when Mike stares at her in confusion. “They found him!”

She rushes after Kitty to the front door and pulls it open. Her heart leaps – because there they are, all of them. Finally. It feels like a puzzle piece quietly slipping into place when she catches sight of Thomas in the middle of the group. Her world, so off-kilter these past few days, rights itself in an instant and she beams at them, feeling almost giddy with relief.

It doesn’t last long.

As the ghosts come closer, Alison starts to notice little things that are off. They have all rallied around Thomas, as if they are trying to shield him from the world, and keep stealing worried glances at him every few seconds. One of Fanny’s arm is linked with his and her hand is gently resting just above the crook of his elbow as she whispers something in his ear Alison can’t make out. It’s Thomas’s lack of response that ultimately makes her smile falter.

Thomas, for lack of a better word, looks like a ghost. Alison knows how ridiculous that thought is but it’s the first thing that comes to her mind when she finally catches sight of his face. There’s an almost deathly pallor to his skin despite the warmth of the setting sun behind him and his eyes are hollow and red from crying. He looks frail in a way none of the ghosts ever had, as if a gust of wind could carry him away.

You stay how you die.

The words echo in Alison’s head as Thomas walks past her without lifting his eyes from the ground, without acknowledging either her presence or Fanny’s still ongoing litany of whispered words, without doing much of anything, really, except setting one foot in front of the other. This is not the Thomas she knows, Alison thinks; the one who can wax poetic for hours but only manages to create something truly beautiful in those rare moments when he isn’t trying to compose anything. The one who loves to listen to music and dances every morning despite constantly being made fun of for it by Julian. The one who patiently sat with her daughter every evening for almost a year and told her a story just so she would fall asleep with a smile on her face.

All of that is gone. The person vanishing through her front door is not the Thomas Alison has known for years and come to love, and it scares her. He’s finally back and yet he isn’t, and somehow that feels even worse than the uncertainty and worry of the last few days.

“He need time.”

Alison jumps and clutches at her chest. Robin gives her an apologizing look.

“Sorry,” he mutters.

“No, it’s … it’s fine,” Alison says. She looks back at the door. “What happened to him, Robin?”

Robin shrugs his shoulders.

“Thomas is hurt. In here.” He points at his chest, right where his heart used to beat. Then he looks up with so much sadness Alison feels her breath catch in her throat and repeats, a little helplessly, “He need time.”

“I think we all do,” Alison whispers.

Robin nods solemnly. “We take care of him. You take care of Grace. When Thomas is ready, he come to you.”

Alison still isn’t happy with that plan but she knows in her heart that Robin is right. She can’t pressure Thomas now, can’t expect him to act like nothing happened just so things can finally go back to a semblance of normalcy. Thomas won’t be joining her for breakfast anymore, won’t sit with her at dinner, won’t be anywhere near Grace, and Robin is asking her to accept that and give Thomas the time he needs to come to terms with his grief.

Alison would be a shitty friend if she couldn’t do that for him.

“Just … let him know he is loved, all right?” she asks, her voice breaking on the last word.

“Will do,” Robin reassures her quietly. His eyes dart to the door.

“Go,” Alison tells him. “I’ll be fine.”

Robin’s lips twitch into a ghost of a smile before he dashes away, leaving her alone in the cold evening air. The first stars are twinkling up in the sky, heralding the beginning of the night, and as Alison looks up and sees the dying light of a shooting star fade away in the glow of the evening sun, she thinks of Thomas and Grace and wishes with all her heart that one day, they’ll be able to see each other again – preferably without her daughter dying in the process.  

It is a silly wish but she closes her eyes and makes it anyway. She knows it won’t come true – miracles only happen in stories – but for Grace and Thomas she’s willing to give it a try. She’s willing to give anything a try just to see them both smile again.

————

That night she finds the ghosts in Thomas’s room.

Grace has finally fallen asleep and Alison is on her way to the kitchen to make herself another late night cup of tea when she walks past Thomas’s door and finds it slightly ajar. Normally, she wouldn’t intrude on his or anyone else’s privacy like this but the last few days have been a far cry from normal and Alison just needs to reassure herself that he is safe and really back with them.

So she pokes her head through the door and the sight that greets her makes her breath catch. They are all there – every single one of them, even the plague ghosts from the basement and little Jemima with her doll clutched tightly to her chest. They sit on the floor, on the windowsill, on the bed, sometimes alone, sometimes in pairs or little groups of three and four. The room is crowded with ghosts and right in the middle of it Thomas lies curled up on his bed with his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling rhythmically in sleep. Fanny is sitting next to him, holding his hand, and Robin has pressed himself against his back. One of his hands is covering Thomas’s ear and Alison has to blink hard against the sudden burn of tears when she realises that Robin is trying to shield him from Grace’s cries.

She’s never seen the ghosts like this, so united in their love and support for one of them. Even though they must be exhausted after spending the last few days searching for Thomas non-stop, none of them are sleeping. Their eyes are all resting on Thomas, watching over him, and when she sees his eyebrows draw together in muted distress, Alison realises why. Thomas’s hand starts twitching in Fanny’s gentle grasp and a moment later, he lets out a soft whimper that draws everyone’s attention and makes Alison’s heart hurt.

“Easy,” Nigel murmurs from where he’s sitting by the foot of the bed. He reaches up with his hand and lets his fingers rest on top of Thomas’s ankle in quiet reassurance.

A visible shiver runs through Thomas but he settles again. Almost in unison, the ghosts breathe a sigh of relief.

“You should get some rest, dear,” Jean whispers. Alison looks down and sees her gazing up at her with a sad smile on her lips. “It’s too late to be up and about.”

“Yeah,” Alison says hoarsely but she finds it difficult to move. She can’t seem to pull her eyes away from Thomas’s face, from the dark circles beneath his eyes that by any rights shouldn’t be there.

“Come,” Jean says quietly. “I will walk you to your room.”

It’s not necessary, Alison wants to say but when she feels Jean’s ghostly hand hovering above the small of her back, gently steering her away from Thomas’s room, she’s suddenly, stupidly, immensely grateful for her presence. Before she knows what’s happening she feels her breath catch in her throat again and has to stop in the middle of the hallway to press her hand against her mouth to stifle the sounds she can no longer swallow.

“That’s it,” Jean whispers when Alison blindly reaches for the wall behind her and sinks to the floor. “Just let it all out.”

The clock chimes two in the morning downstairs as Alison sits in the cold, dark hallway and sobs her heart out as quietly as she can so neither the ghosts nor Mike or Grace will hear her. She wants to scream and shout and rage against the injustice of it all, wants to tear something apart with her bare hands and challenge Fate herself to a duel to regain what they all lost.

But she knows it won’t do any good. This is something she can’t fix.

“It’s not fair,” she sniffs.

Jean sighs in solemn agreement. “No, it isn’t.”

By the time Alison crawls back into bed, her hands and feet are cold but her mind, at least, is blissfully numb and empty. She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around Mike, holding him close how she wishes she could hold Thomas to comfort him.

“I love you,” she whispers against the soft, sensitive skin behind Mike’s ear.

Mike stirs and murmurs something unintelligible before he relaxes back against his pillow and continues snoring. Alison presses her face into his neck and finally lets the darkness carry her away.

————

She gets two hours of sleep before Grace starts crying again.

[firebuug]

13, 14 and 31 for the uncommon oc questions? for whatever ocs come to mind first

(also A and B for the creator questions for whoever comes to mind too :> )

before i look at the questions UHHH ill choose eva and centi because theyre bouncing in my head (eva bc brainrot centi bc hes my icon).

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

eva was raised as a little nestie boy and in my mind very fancy rich colors are always light and pastel like marble and stuff and my brain always sees him dressed in white. i think he thinks he looks most dapper in white. maybe even gray. monochromes mostly because its hard to coordinate an outfit when your hair is fuckin Blue and you don't want to look like a stupid clown.

i however am in the impression that eva would look nice in red. and golds. and pale greens. and black. i just like eva

centi does NOT CARE in fact he HATES UNNECESSARY HUMAN CONSTRUCTS. what do you MEAN i cant go out to the supermarket in the human's PAJAMAS eva you are an IDIOT a FOOL a DOG to abiding to such STUPID human standards i am CONSERVING MY ENERGY . he doesn't care....but i guess he'd like colors that help him stealth or that he's had on him as a centipede bug

14. What animal do they fear most?

i . have never thought of this. UH. man i feel like animals are weird in PMworld. do they have zoos. obviously they have animals bc a lot of abnos are animal based but like. are they frequent. do people go to the zoos and see lions anymore. man. anyways i think if Eva met a chimp he would be scared. i feel like if he saw a hippo he'd be kinda scared. i dont think he'd be scared of horses he'd think theyre beautiful. i think, to a city dweller, animals arent as scary as the Daily Horrors you face, but at the same time, eva is a nestie what animals is he seeing? birds?? white eye crust dogs??????? lizards????? i think he'd be scared of snakes. oh my god he'd be scared of snakes. OH MY GOD HIS BOYFRIEND DISTORTS INTO A GIANT SNAKE BUG i think he'd be scared of snakes. i don't think he'd like bugs but he is fine with taking bugs out in a cup or throwing a newspaper at them but i think his parents kept his childhood house as bug-free as possible

centi is scared of anything that is scarier than him because it usually means it is a stronger devil than him. he is a predator bug outside of his fiend form and eats other bugs that are weaker and is very scary but he'd know his fucking place in front of Spider Devil or some shit. also he would probably not like dogs and cats. anything that poses a threat to a little centipede. however. as a human somehting like a bird? he laughs at now. dogs and cats? those can still fuck him up and put him in his place (owww scratches)

31. Who are they the most glad to have met? 

theres very obvious answers here. but genuinely even if they annoy him sometimes or make his work harder eva does appreciate meeting his friends and his future bf at lobcorp because, if he had worked here for this long without making friends with ANYONE. no matter what he tells himself he would have been so much more miserable. having friends isnt what he came here for but its what happened and hes grateful that his friends somehow didnt get tired of him and put up with his rocky beginnings because he doesn't know if he wouldve ever found joy in this work without them

he is also, as expected, very glad to have met julian because otherwise after the wing fell he probably would have no other reason to be on this earth other than "maybe make weird art until you run out of money and starve". jules kind of rocked his mindset too and helped him realize the people around him at the corp Arent just dumb npcs who are expendable, they are Human and Mortal and Will Die. they experience emotion just like him. and even if they ar einsufferable they are human and you will ifnd yourself crying when they die even if you only knew them as the guy from info team who made your life worse. he cant fester in hatred and hope someone innocent eats shit because one day theyll die and he'll be stuck with those emotions, and not everyone comes back like jules did

centi.... well. this is mostly just inner oc stuff with my friend and i's ocs hehe. but he is happy to meet another bug devil like him. because well...i like to think theres SOme sort of solidarity in being a scary bug. maybe hes a bit jealous. but then theyre just..homies. he doesnt have to face the isolation of feeling like an eldrich monstrosity living in some dudes apartment and getting yelled at for being an eldritch monstrosity and being Different and being Caged in a Stupid Inferior Human Body God FUcking Damn It alone. he has another bug guy going thru the same. we must imagine the bug fiends happy

also despite how much he despises eva at first he eventually realizes this weird as fuck THing is actually. not killing him. this is a devil hunter yet he's making me a grilled cheese. whats wrong with hinm. i can throw his stuff around and he can get upset but he will still let me sleep in his house and stand up for me. whats wrong with him. eventually he will slowly warm up to him...but he'll still bother him. thats what fiends do

A) Why are you excited about this character?

for eva? I DONT KNOW . I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!! HES JUST SOME DUDE!!!! BUT I GAVE HIM MY LOVE FOR MUSIC MY LOVE FOR FISH AND GAVE HIM MULTIPLE NEUROSES AND NOW I LOVE HIM . THE FUCK. i also really love his distortion. just. grips heart. a lot of my ocs and stories have this theme of isolation, i guess it's something i like to explore a lot, and considering eva is a (count with me) autistic transgender mentally ill born-rich kid who was raised kind of sheltered from the full extent of horrors and Forced to go down a pre-determined path from birth . and not only that but he becomes even more of a fish out of water post-lobcorp and literally experiences the isolation of not even having a true god reach him through the metal walls of the corporation. idk. i think he's pretty isolationcore and neurosispilled and his distortion is fun because YES WE CAN FINALLY GO APESHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! CATHARSIS!!! BUT PAIN AND GRIEF MANIFESTED INTO A PHYSICAL BLIND RAMPAGED BEING!!!!!

centi because he is a fucking BUG!!!!!! AND HES EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HES SILLY!!!!!!!!!!! CARTOONISHLY EVIL FREAK WHO USED TO BE A LEGIT THREAT!!!!!! I LOVE THOSE FUCKERS!!!!!! and not only that HE SHARES A BODY WITH THE POLAR OPPOSITE AND IS A HORRIBLE MONSTER BEING FORCED TO LIVE AMONG HUMA---god damn it its another isolation and not fitting in story. BUG DYSPHORIA

B) What inspired you to create them?

nothing crazy here- eva was randomly generated employee number 2 in my lobcorp facility, i grew attached to him thru keeping him alive and also i liked his grumpy little face. survived to the very end of my playthrough, and juleva started as a crackship but i did like their dynamic a lot..................... things just escalated from there

centi because ummm i made a csm au of my ocs and i wanted julian to be the Centipede Fiend to reference his distortion but i created a whole new personality for the Centipede Devil inside of him and went oh my god i love them, i need them to be a new person, i love them, oh my god

thanks so much for the opportunity to ramble! if you made it this far im marrying you.

[quibbs126]

Alright, here’s today’s batches of characters

Technically Julian and Marilyn have nothing to do with one another, and Marilyn has a different character she’s more connected to, not to mention these three have almost nothing to do with Mercury and co other than living in the same town, but I just wanted to draw them

So let’s get started with Marilyn

She’s from a rich, noble family in the area they live in. Some years ago, there was a change in the government (something I’ll go into full detail with Autumn, since it’s very relevant there), and her family greatly benefited from it, becoming part of the aristocracy

Now Marilyn’s parents are the absolute worst, they’re horrible people and they barely care about their daughter, however Marilyn is not really at an age or has been in a situation where she’s really knows or understands that. In the place of her parents, her main servant (another character I’ll draw but her name is Lauren) basically acts as her parental figure, and to Marilyn everything’s fine

Marilyn is kind of a huge brat, but again, she’s not at an age where she really understands that the way she acts is all that wrong (she’s around 8 or so), and her family’s influence makes her not really deal with the consequences of her actions, so she doesn’t understand that they exist. Also, she tends to mimic her parents, who are again, horrible people, which leads to her not being the best person. But she’s got good in her, and Lauren tries to help her be a better person and not turn out like her parents

I haven’t got it all figured out, but in the distant future, as an adult, she ends up being that better person

But one of the consequences of her actions that she doesn’t realize is Marcus. Well not his existence, but he is a target of them. See, Marilyn’s got a huge crush on Marcus, and will use her family’s influence to spend time with him and force him to go places with her. Her parents indulge her simply because it keeps her away from them. The big problem is, Marcus is around twice her age, and while he has a higher opinion of her than most, seeing she’s not a total brat, he has absolutely no romantic feelings towards her, one large part being because she’s 8 years old. But unfortunately, she keeps dragging him along with her, and she just doesn’t realize how uncomfortable it makes him feel, and that him going out with her might have certain allegations for Marcus, despite Marilyn always being the one initiating things

Originally, I kept this plot point as more a small comedic thing, sort of like what Amy’s obsession with Sonic was considered, but here I feel more like leaning into it as a serious thing, since it’s an interesting angle

Though then again, I also feel like maybe taking that whole thing out, mostly because of Marcus himself. As might be evident from the picture, Marcus is a very happy go lucky guy, pretty popular around town, and he’s pretty happy with his life, seeing little wrong with it. This is supposed to contrast with Julian, whose life is miserable and is an outcast. But something like this would bring Marcus to a similar situation, and the thing is is that Marcus isn’t supposed to understand how Julian feels. This wasn’t a problem when this was just a small thing, but making it bigger does cause issues

I suppose one solution would be to shift Marilyn’s attraction onto Julian, but Marilyn likes Marcus for his confidence and extroverted nature, which Julian has none of. Plus, Julian’s supposed to have been miserable since he was a kid, while Marilyn’s affections are recent

Also, I kind of want to make Marcus and Marilyn friends. Menaces to society together

I dunno what I’m gonna do with it, if you have suggestions, please tell me, but for now I think we’ve covered everything on Marilyn, let’s move on to Marcus and Julian

So Marcus and Julian happen to be twin brothers

If you’re wondering why their fur looks different (and why admittedly Julian’s color combo doesn’t look the best), it’s because they were originally ferrets (I think), and sometime late in my past using of them, I think I found something where I saw half a ferret white with the other half normal patterns, so that’s what they have going on. One half has patterns, and the other half is white. For Marcus, his bottom half is white, and for Julian, his top half is white

I know I drew Marcus with that design, but I don’t think I ever drew Julian with his, and to be honest, it doesn’t look the best. Maybe I should change up the colors, but Marcus looks good with his colors, and I think white still works with those. Hmm, maybe it’ll look better in full

Anyways, so I kind of already explained their personalities above, so I don’t need to repeat myself

I don’t know what caused Julian to become an outcast, I never figured that out, but it was something

Before this, Marcus and Julian were very close. Julian was never the best at making friends, but he had his brother. But after this incident, and after people started shunning Julian, Marcus eventually did too, as he preferred having other friends. Since then, the two have grown increasingly apart, as Marcus grew more popular and Julian less

At some point this would all culminate in Julian feeling so miserable that he decides to leave town, and Marcus and Julian have a huge argument right before he does, spurning him to fully leave, and then later on we’d see his adventures on his own

I never came up with a resolution between them, but I feel like I should

Marcus and Marilyn were never actually big parts of their own stories, they were usually just side characters in others, but I feel like they should have something. It’s just that big things don’t really happen with them

Also another thing, but Marcus and Julian were supposed to have two alive parents, Norma and Julius. However, with Julian’s pariah status and the things with Marilyn (assuming I keep it), I feel like I may have to kill them off. Because Norma’s the kind of lady who would not let these sorts of things stand and would do something about it, yet she can’t for the story

Also one more relevant thing, but their grandfather, whom I’ve decided to rename Jules, was involved in another plot, that being one with secret experiments. This was never elaborated upon, but maybe I should tie it in to them, particularly Julian, so I can give them more to do

Anyways, that’s it for character stuff, I want to talk their designs

Oh I forgot to mention their powers. Marilyn has ice powers, and Marcus and Julian have electricity

Now I’ll say, one thing I think I figured out is that for the hair, I need to give them distinct designs I’ll remember. I think that was why I didn’t like Salt’s design, I just threw hair together. Here I worked to make them distinct, and their designs all got changed a bit

I chopped off Marilyn’s braid, gave Marcus something more resembling a short mullet, and completely changed Julian’s hair to make it look more like his brother’s, as well as make it memorable. I still kept all their original hair colors though

Anyways yeah, I think that’s it

Oh wait also, so each character is based off of a Sonic character, though Marcus is the only one from the games, the other two from the comics. Marcus is probably the closest to his original, the other two being completely different, but I will give one hint: it’s not accidental that Marcus and Julian are twins

[udaberriwrites]

First Ten Lines

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

Tagged by @sliebman10, thank you! No pressure tag to @axolotlsupremacyowo, @thememoryofthatday, @aislinnstanaka, @alpaca-clouds, @hylianjo and open tag, of course!

Without further ado, from most to least recent:

The Match of the Year: Heartstopper/Hogwarts AU, G, gen+canon ships

The sun was rising steadily in the sky, and the day was clear and beautiful by the time the game of the season was set to begin. The stands were fit to burst, and not a single student seemed to be missing when Tao picked the enchanted microphone.

“Welcome to the annual Gryffindor-Slytherin quidditch match, where a bunch of our best and brightest regularly try to push each other off their brooms for fun while they're hundreds of feet up in the air."

There Must Be An Angel: The Good Place, G, Chidi/Eleanor

It was another perfectly hosted party on another night in Paradise, after one more day of nothing but reading in his library, teaching and not having to make one single decision. And yet, as Chidi Anagonye stood there, ignoring the hors d’oeuvres and the mingling humans, he could feel his stomach churning with a familiar and unwelcome intensity.

Eleanor looked breathtaking today.

Heaven is Other People: The Good Place, G, Simone/Eleanor

There always was a glimmer of sadness hidden behind the Architect's eyes.

Simone watched, champagne glass in hand, as Eleanor easily captured the attention of every soul in the room. She looked radiant tonight. There was a rose pinned to her short blond hair, complimenting her red lipstick perfectly. Eleanor made jokes, talked about the Neighborhood and grinned…

And yet, Simone couldn't help but think that she was miserable.

For I Would Forsake the World: Frankenstein, M, Victor Frankenstein/The Creature

Dear God, but he was beautiful.

Victor had forgotten it, somehow, during those long months when he had foolishly thought he could outrun his sin. The fever had burned away the memory of the daemon's strong hands, the line of his jaw and the way his pitch-black hair curled, framing his eerily symmetrical face. The pearly white smile that hid the twisted, soulless nature of the monster Victor had created.

Sehlat Vie: Star Trek TOS, G, McSpirk

Jim had done something foolhardy again.

Leonard didn't know what and he didn't know where, but as soon as he crossed the threshold, he damn well knew it had happened. Almost thirty years of knowing the man had given him an almost preternatural ability to sense when Jim had been up to one of his hare-brained antics again and that sense was currently blaring a red alert warning impossible to ignore.

As the Seasons Go By: The House in the Cerulean Sea, G, gen+Arthur/Linus

Spring on Marsyas Island is nothing like spring in the city.

Spring is sinking his hands into the moist soil with Talia excitedly giving instructions and silly threats by his side, acting like a little general.

The Bouquiniste: Star Trek DS9, G, Julian /Garak

The first book after the holosuite debacle was a children’s book.

That was a stark deviation from norm, enough that Garak approached the story with a certain degree of trepidation. Though Julian was too much of an idealist to truly be able to manipulate others, that didn’t mean he was incapable of subterfuge, so Garak was inclined to believe that there was a reason for the choice.

House Rules: Hades, G, gen+canon ships, co-written with @alpaca-clouds

The life of a shade wasn’t easy. Of course, living in the House of Hades was better than being out there, in Asphodel, just existing. In the House of Hades a shade had a purpose, something to do. A lot to do, in fact, so that moments like these were rather rare. Moments in which they could just sit here, in the lounge, facing each other.

Nike got out the play board, putting it down. “So, what color are you taking?”

Luminescent: Star Trek TNG, G, Riker/Troi

Night on this old version of Earth is lovely, once she gets past the constant noise and the smell.

Deanna is tipsy and relaxed. The alcohol has dissolved her worries, so the Borg and the fractured timeline feel very far away. Future Deanna can go back to fixing the world, but Today Deanna is happy just where she is.

To punctuate her happiness, she turns and kisses Will on the cheek, giggling when his frown dissolves into a small, stunned smile.

A PSA from Quark's: Star Trek DS9, G, gen

Attention Esteemed Customers:

Due to the large number of concerns raised to Management, and in order to preserve Quark's as the pillar of community it has always been, all board and card games originating on Earth, also known as Terra, are banned until further notice.

[rigginsstreet]

Maybe it’s because you’re a fellow Leyton shipper but I just feel like confessing a few unpopular opinions to you if you’re up for it :-)The first is that I think Haley is a really boring character for about 90% of the series. For most of the first season, she had a personality – snarky and nerdy and prickly yet kind. I loved and related to her! But I don’t buy her wanting to be this big-time singer at all, and then from season three on she just became such a dull character with no defining traits other than being Nathan’s worried but supportive wife. It’s like all her personality traits disappeared somehow! I love the actress but the character just became kind of generic to me. A related UO is that naley doesn’t really move me. Objectively they’re a very good ship but I’m just not personally invested in them and have no real idea why. Another unpopular opinion is that season 6 is my favorite of the series. I LOVED Leyton this season, I think Julian/Brulian was a lot more interesting before they completely and totally rewrote his personality, I love the Sam stuff, I love seeing Peyton so happy yet still very much herself, Nathan announcing that he finally made the NBA is probably the most I personally cared about him since way back in the first couple of seasons, and Haley’s S6 chocolate brown hair is my personal save :) Thanks for listening and hopefully not judging lol! I’m also curious if you think Peyton could have been truly happy with Jake or if she’d only really be happy forever with Lucas. Leyton is my ultimate OTP but I like Jeyton too!

to be fair, i dont think haley ever wanted some big singing career either. it just kind of fell into her lap. plus i love joys voice and the music she brought to the show so im willing to overlook the absurdity of it anyway

and as far as her character becoming dull, they touch a lot on that in the drama queens podcast, how they feel the writers just didnt know what to do with haley once she became a wife and mother because they dont know what to do with women once theyre wives and mothers, and i have to agree. i think a lot of casual misogyny played into haleys lack of storylines in seasons 4 and 5 specifically

i agree about naley being underwhelming and season 6 being a fave, especially for leyton, along with your other points

i dont think peyton wouldve been miserable with jake, but i do think she wouldve eventually down the road started wondering what her life wouldve been like with lucas and all the what ifs and what couldve beens. its like people who settle down and have a nice life, a nice family, are happy, but theres always something nagging in the back of their brain, a hole gone unfilled from choosing one path over another at some point in their life, ya know? you dont necessarily regret your life but... you wonder what the other version of yourself wouldve been

[zianramn]

It's hard for him not to see Julian sitting there and wish he had been a better friend to the younger man. He could have been more upfront with how he was feeling, he could have been more clear before pulling away and putting a clear distance between them, but the rehab's therapist's voice is inside his head all the time, telling him Julian is a bad influence and he can't help but agree, but at the same time, given how miserable Zian had been lately, it was also a clear sign that he couldn't easily shake his best friend off. He didn't want to easily shake his best friend off.

Upon Julian's acceptance, Zian pulled the chair away from the coffee table and sat down, placing his coffee order between them, just like Julian had with his laptop, both creating invisible walls between themselves, all for the sake of nothing. "You're not busy." He told Julian. That small nose twitch his best friend did whenever he lied, once again, presenting itself and proving to both Zian and Julian that no matter how much they tried, there was little they could actually keep from one another. "But..." He sighed, his free hand once more running along his dark strands. At first, while he gathered his thoughts and decided on how to begin his long list of apologies, Zian's big, brown eyes are trained on the coffee mug before him, and then, as he finally feels like he can say something that won't sound stupid leaving his mouth, he averts his gaze up, hoping to God or any celestial being that he gets to meet Julian's crystal clear orbs in the end of his search, as a beacon of light to his darkness. "But... I couldn't stay."

His words are simple and they don't mean exactly what he wants to say, and yet, they're what escape Zian's lips.

"Jules, I'm..." Again, a brief pause. His chest hurts in pure agony, afraid of what Julian might say or how he might react. "I love you. I'm sure that isn't any doubt in how I feel about you by now, man. We've been best friends for the last twenty-years." Another pause. Zian's fingers tapping on the coffee mug as he doesn't know what to do with his hands at the moment. "I love you. It physically hurts to be away from you... but I also want to get clean, man." How did that feel so hard do to? To push those words out, and trying not to get caught up in the way Julian's eyes felt upon him. How to do that when it felt like he might lose the most important person in his life? And... and I can't do that if you're snorting coke in my bathroom sink, or popping pills when I sleep." His words aren't angry as they leave his lips. They feel more like a plea than a lecture. They feel like an invitation rather than goodbye. They are there to let Julian know that Zian knows what has been happening behind his back. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" Pause. His eyes searched for an answer in Julian's, as if his blue orbs could speak words neither men could. "I know it wasn't right to push you away, but... Do you understand why I did what I did?" Even if he didn't, Zian wouldn't have a problem showing him. "I don't want you coming home to a corpse, Julian. And I don't want the same for me. So I had to distance myself... but it hurts, man. It fucking hurts. And it fucking sucks." / @julianthompson

it had only been months since the incident. and months since julian had started feeling things grow cold between him and zian for reasons that have not been explicitly stated, but he's pretty sure he can put two and two together and have things perfectly add up. we, then, feels like a gratuitous backpedaling of what he thinks zian has been trying to achieve which is, as far as julian is concerned, dropping him like a quarter in a drainage. it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, and he pulls a face, like he's tasting it on his tongue, this caustic, chemical-y flavor of petty that dares curse out his best friend.

the gravity with which zian announces his desire to speak to julian is unsettling, and only mildly rattles him, but he is rattled all the same. rolling his eyes, he sighs and gives the chair a nonchalant wave, giving zian permission, albeit begrudgingly, to join him on the table. he pulls his laptop closer towards him, pushes the screen down a little as if zian could even see it from behind, but he does not close it, leaves it open as some sort of barrier between them. like a breakwater, much like the one zian has been building against him these past few months. did he think he was the only one?

once zian is settled in, julian leaves room for silence. just watching zian, arms still folded across his chest, rising and falling rhythmically to his breath. zian is very much alive, and he's sitting here all in one piece, mostly because he is an unbreakable spirit, but also partly because julian made sure of it. and getting ignored for months was the thanks he got, so yeah, he's still feeling a little chafed and maintains heavy eye contact as if to prove that he has the upper ground. that zian came to him, that he was the first to break. not that there's competition to begin with. "spit it out, man. i don't fuckin' got all day," he urges, despite the lie — he does have all day, but nobody needs to know that.

[richincolor]

QPoC YA Books in 2022 (so far) 🌈

This year has wreaked havoc on my to-read pile. It's a good problem to have -- there are just so many exciting YA books by BIPOC authors coming out in 2022. In particular, I'm really happy about all the YA centering LGBTQ characters of color. It's an embarassment of riches! So here's what's been on my to-read list... a (non-comprehensive!) list of YA books starring QPoC characters, in no particular order:

Flip the Script by Lyla Lee

The first rule of watching K-dramas: Never fall in love with the second lead.

As an avid watcher of K-dramas, Hana knows all the tropes to avoid when she finally lands a starring role in a buzzy new drama. And she can totally handle her fake co-star boyfriend who might be falling in love with her. After all, she promised the producers a contract romance, and that’s all they’re going to get from her.

But when showrunners bring on a new girl to challenge Hana’s role as main love interest—and worse, it’s someone Hana knows all too well—can  Hana fight for her position on the show while falling for her on-screen rival in real life?

Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee

Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count. Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?

The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes

Sixteen-year-old Yamilet Flores prefers to be known for her killer eyeliner, not for being one of the only Mexican kids at her new, mostly white, very rich Catholic school. But at least here no one knows she's gay, and Yami intends to keep it that way.

After being outed by her crush and ex-best friend before transferring to Slayton Catholic, Yami has new priorities: keep her brother out of trouble, make her mom proud, and, most importantly, don't fall in love. Granted, she's never been great at any of those things, but that's a problem for Future Yami.

The thing is, it's hard to fake being straight when Bo, the only openly queer girl at school, is so annoyingly perfect. And smart. And talented. And cute. So cute. Either way, Yami isn't going to make the same mistake again. If word got back to her mom, she could face a lot worse than rejection. So she'll have to start asking, WWSGD: What would a straight girl do?

Told in a captivating voice that is by turns hilarious, vulnerable, and searingly honest, The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School explores the joys and heartaches of living your full truth out loud.

Right Where I Left You by Julian Winters

School’s out, senior year is over, and Isaac Martin is ready to kick off summer. His last before heading off to college in the fall where he won’t have his best friend, Diego. Where—despite his social anxiety—he’ll be left to make friends on his own. Knowing his time with Diego is limited, Isaac enacts a foolproof plan: snatch up a pair of badges for the epic comic convention, Legends Con, and attend his first ever Teen Pride. Just him and Diego. The way it should be. But when an unexpected run-in with Davi—Isaac’s old crush—distracts him the day tickets go on sale, suddenly he’s two badges short of a perfect summer. Even worse, now he’s left making it up to Diego by hanging with him and his gamer buddies. Decidedly NOT part of the original plan. It’s not all bad, though. Some of Diego’s friends turn out to be pretty cool, and when things with Davi start heating up, Isaac is almost able to forget about his Legends Con blunder. Almost. Because then Diego finds out what really happened that day with Davi, and their friendship lands on thin ice. Isaac assumes he’s upset about missing the convention, but could Diego have other reasons for avoiding Isaac?

Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore

In this young adult novel by award-winning author Anna-Marie McLemore, two non-binary teens are pulled into a magical world under a lake - but can they keep their worlds above water intact?

Everyone who lives near the lake knows the stories about the world underneath it, an ethereal landscape rumored to be half-air, half-water. But Bastián Silvano and Lore Garcia are the only ones who’ve been there. Bastián grew up both above the lake and in the otherworldly space beneath it. Lore’s only seen the world under the lake once, but that one encounter changed their life and their fate.

Then the lines between air and water begin to blur. The world under the lake drifts above the surface. If Bastián and Lore don’t want it bringing their secrets to the surface with it, they have to stop it, and to do that, they have to work together. There’s just one problem: Bastián and Lore haven’t spoken in seven years, and working together means trusting each other with the very things they’re trying to hide.

The Chandler Legacies by Abdi Nazemian

A novel about the enclosed world of privilege and silence at an elite boarding school and the unlikely group of friends who dare challenge the status quo through their writing.

Beth Kramer is a “townie” who returns to her sophomore year after having endured a year of judgment from her roommate, Sarah.  But Sarah Brunson knows there’s more to that story. Amanda Priya “Spence” Spencer is the privileged daughter of NYC elites, who is reeling from the realization that her family name shielded her from the same fate as Sarah. Ramin Golafshar arrives at Chandler as a transfer student to escape the dangers of being gay in Iran, only to suffer brutal hazing under the guise of tradition in the boys’ dorms. And Freddy Bello is the senior who’s no longer sure of his future but has fallen hard for Spence and knows he has to stand up to his friends after what happened to Ramin.

At Chandler, the elite boarding school, these five teens are brought together in the Circle, a coveted writing group where life-changing friendships are born—and secrets are revealed. Their professor tells them to write their truths. But is the truth enough to change the long-standing culture of abuse at Chandler? And can their friendship survive the fallout?

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

A teen girl navigates friendship drama, the end of high school, and discovering her queerness in Ophelia After All, a hilarious and heartfelt contemporary YA debut by author Racquel Marie. Ophelia Rojas knows what she likes: her best friends, Cuban food, rose-gardening, and boys - way too many boys. Her friends and parents make fun of her endless stream of crushes, but Ophelia is a romantic at heart. She couldn't change, even if she wanted to.

So when she finds herself thinking more about cute, quiet Talia Sanchez than the loss of a perfect prom with her ex-boyfriend, seeds of doubt take root in Ophelia's firm image of herself. Add to that the impending end of high school and the fracturing of her once-solid friend group, and things are spiraling a little out of control. But the course of love--and sexuality--never did run smooth. As her secrets begin to unravel, Ophelia must make a choice between clinging to the fantasy version of herself she's always imagined or upending everyone's expectations to rediscover who she really is, after all.

Spin Me Right Round by David Valdes

From lauded writer David Valdes, a sharp and funny YA novel that's Back to the Future with a twist, as a gay teen travels back to his parents' era to save a closeted classmate's life.

All Luis Gonzalez wants is to go to prom with his boyfriend, something his “progressive” school still doesn't allow. Not after what happened with Chaz Wilson. But that was ages ago, when Luis's parents were in high school; it would never happen today, right? He's determined to find a way to give his LGBTQ friends the respect they deserve (while also not risking his chance to be prom king, just saying…).

When a hit on the head knocks him back in time to 1985 and he meets the doomed young Chaz himself, Luis concocts a new plan-he's going to give this guy his first real kiss. Though it turns out a conservative school in the '80s isn't the safest place to be a gay kid. Especially with homophobes running the campus, including Gordo (aka Luis's estranged father). Luis is in over his head, trying not to make things worse-and hoping he makes it back to present day at all.

The Loophole by Naz Kutub

Out next week on June 21st, 2022!

Your wish is granted! This YA debut is equal parts broken-hearted love story, epic myth retelling, and a world-journey romp to find home. Sy is a timid seventeen-year-old queer Indian-Muslim boy who placed all his bets at happiness on his boyfriend Farouk...who then left him to try and "fix the world." Sy was too chicken to take the plunge and travel with him and is now stuck in a dead-end coffee shop job. All Sy can do is wish for another chance.... Although he never expects his wish to be granted. When a mysterious girl slams into (and slides down, streaks of make-up in her wake) the front entrance of the coffee shop, Sy helps her up and on her way. But then the girl offers him three wishes in exchange for his help, and after proving she can grant at least one wish with a funds transfer of a million dollars into Sy's pitifully struggling bank account, a whole new world of possibility opens up. Is she magic? Or just rich? And when his father kicks him out after he is outed, does Sy have the courage to make his way from L. A., across the Atlantic Ocean, to lands he'd never even dreamed he could ever visit? Led by his potentially otherworldly new friend, can he track down his missing Farouk for one last, desperate chance at rebuilding his life and re-finding love?

And of course, there are even more queer YA books starring BIPOC characters coming out in the second half of this year! (Godslayers, sequel to Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta, is on my list!) What are you planning on reading this month?

[starfirette]

shadowhunter boys as boyfriends

GENDER NEUTRAL READER | I didn't put the TLH kids (Matthew, James, etc) because the series isn't over yet and as of right now, they're still, for the most part, on the older teenager side. I'll do a Shadowhunter Girls version soon because I need Jessamine and Emma content

Including the Herondales, Lightwoods, Magnus Bane, Jem Carstairs, The Blackthorns, and Kieran.

Herondale

William Herondale is a protective boyfriend, as well as a loudmouth. He thinks he's the best because he's got you. Probably compares you to the other significant others of his friends, in the sense that you're better than everyone else. "Please, you put so-and-so's outfit to SHAME last night" "Oh, so-and-so couldn't kill a sprite if they tried, you've singlehandedly taken down shax" "will, the shax put me in the hospital..." "who the hell took it down, then?" "that was you, dear" "oh, aha, yes that's right. Well, don't feel too bad about it, love". Please just shut him UP

Jace Herondale is the kind of boyfriend who acts like he's totally independent and doesn't need to spend all his time with you, when, in reality, he feels miserable when you aren't around. "Y/n would love this shirt." Alec would tell him to buy it for you. Jace would scoff. "How corny." Alec would say 'Fine, then don't get it.' Jace would keep talking about it until Alec purchased the shirt himself, forcing Jace to gift it to you. Of course, Jace acts like a cool guy about it. "It just reminded me of you, that's all..."

Lightwood

Gideon Lightwood is the childhood bestfriend to lover. You're the one he confides in about everything. He didn't even realize he'd fallen in love with you until your family was on the verge of marrying you off. Gideon would probably stay quiet, letting you go on with the arranged marriage, until everyone around him finally explained how awful that actually is, and you're probably in love with him, too. Once Jem pointed this out, Gideon practically jumped out the window to get to you. Luckily, Jem was right.

Gabriel Lightwood is the childhood enemy to lover. You're the one he hates, and vehemently swore to never be friends with. Well one summer, your family left for a vacation in Idris. You returned for the Autumnal Equinox, all tan and gorgeous, and Gabriel realized you're actually really hot. It all goes down hill from there. He would definitely have been drawn in by your looks at first--but he DOES fall in love with you for real.

Alec Lightwood would never tell you he likes you ever. He'd rather die than confess his crush. You weren't exactly his best friend, but you were more than an acquaintance. Good luck trying to drop hints that you like him, too, because he's too salty and emo to realize that you'd ever like him back.

Carstairs

Jem Carstairs........how can I possibly explain my love for this man? Jem is a perfect gentleman. Probably coerced into marrying you by Charlotte, for his sake of health and safety of status. She truly wants what's best for Jem. And you're a good match for him!!! In this case, arranged marriage but you two fall in love.

Bane

Oh, to be the lover of Magnus Bane. You probably met him in the most absurd of ways, like a crazy meet cute in a rom com. He spoils you, buys you gifts to win your affection; doesn't accept it when you tell him no more gifts. He just wants love. You two probably elope and forget to tell people until a month or so after it's happened. Maybe even a year later. "By the way, we're having a one year anniversary party and you're invited, Tessa."

"???? What?"

"Oh, haha, yeah, we got married one year ago! So we would like, like, a Kuerig or something."

Kieran Kingson

Kieran just straight up asks you to be his mate one day. It's a strange moment. it's the middle of breakfast, you're exhausted, and Julian won't stop bitching about the iPod you supposedly stole and then lost, when really you just borrowed it and broke it during patrol. Kieran comes in, sits down; he says his good mornings to the family. Then, "Oh, by the way Y/n. I'd like you to come out with me for dinner tonight."

The clatter of the morning stops as everyone pauses and waits to hear your response. He'd apologize in private but extend the invitation a second time. He wouldn't have an issue saying he's attracted to you and even has a crush. He's nice about it, and not at all awkward. You, however, are very awkward.

Blackthorn

Mark Blackthorn adores you. He approaches you in private. He's super dramatic about it, too. You thought he was going to tell you someone was dying. But no, he just thinks you are, in his words, "glowing with beauty". Okay dude. Just kiss me already. You would be the couple that's always making out or going at it. He cannot keep his hands off you.

Julian Blackthorn is the opposite. While he adores you just as much, he's calm and doesn't feel the need to go full throttle into marriage, like his brother would be. Julian wants to have one normal experience in his life. He wants to have a movie worthy relationship, with stolen kisses and first dates and awkward hand holding. He feels so comfortable with you.

[watchmegetobsessed]

SAFE AND SOUND

a/n: this one took a little longer to write, but im so happy its finally finished! its not what i originally planned, i started a whole different plot but hated it so started again, but i might go back to the first story, so maybe more bodyguard!harry content is gonna come! anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this one!

pairing: Bodyguard!Harry X Reader

warning: use of weapon (no one dies), mentioning of cancer (no one is sick), sexual content

word count: 9.1k

masterlist

“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. What you are doing and what you are about to achieve soon might upset a lot of people that hold great power. We can’t just assume you’ll be fine, walking around like anyone else in the world.”

Your boss, Julian explains it to you, leaning onto his desk, trying his best to keep his cool about your protest to get you a guard to watch out for you and keep you safe. It’s been an ongoing struggle and fight you two have been having these past weeks and it became a burning situation since you’ve made some major progress in your project.

“I’m not some kind of royalty to have security with me all the time,” you grumble rolling your eyes.

“Not just royalties have guards, Y/N. Just accept it, that you’re valuable, your work is very important not just to our company but to the whole world. Do you not realize how big it is? You are close to having the cure to cancer, Y/N! You can easily get a Nobel-prize for that!”

“I know that it’s important, but no one knows me, no one will see me on the street and know who I am or what I do!”

“It’s not about the people on the street. The world is a dark place, darker than you could imagine. Please, just… I want to know that you’re safe.”

Staring back at him with your arms folded on your chest you contemplate his words. You can see the rationality in his words, it’s just that you don’t want to break your routine, you don’t want people around you all the time, you don’t want to end your privacy like that. But Julian is right, your work is important and there have already been a few attempts to steal your researches, but they miserably failed. However that doesn’t mean they will be stopped the next time as well.

“One guard,” you speak up. “Just one. I’m not gonna have a whole fucking team,” you tell him raising your eyebrows. He lets out a relieved sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Reaching out to the phone he presses the buzzer that signals to his assistant, Monica outside and a few moments later she walks in, accompanied with a tall, suited man, his green eyes immediately falling to you upon entering the room.

“Y/N, I took the courage to pick him out for you myself. This is Harry Styles, the best you can find in the city if not in the country,” Julian introduces him as he pushes himself away from his giant mahogany desk, walking closer to the man as they shake hands firmly. You stand up from the armchair you’ve been sinking into these past ten minutes and unsurely hold out your hand to the man.

“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you,” he introduces himself, a thick British accent lacing through his voice and the way his green irises stare back at you, you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. Mr. Styles is undeniably the most charming and handsome man you’ve ever met, with his perfectly carved cheekbones and chiseled jawline, pink lips and those enchanting green eyes framed by his thick lashes. There’s something in his appearance, something feminine, but still, he holds so much masculinity at the same time, it’s hard not to be enamored by him.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you mumble your name, shaking his hand slightly before letting go of it.

“Details about your cooperation have already been discussed with the security agency and us, but of course, your word is what counts, so we’ll walk over the whole plan with you as well,” Julian explains to you and you nod shortly.

The three of you move to the conference room and the next hour goes by with working those so called details out, some of them are ridiculous, some of them you can get used to, at the end you are left with a somewhat bearable plan, but one thing is for sure. Harry Styles will be a big part of your life from now on.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The tiny pack of sugar tears open in your hands, but you put too much effort into it so the countertop is now covered with the content of the pack instead of ending up in your paper cup.

“Fuck,” you growl, dumping the empty pack into the trash before grabbing another one, hoping it won’t end up the same way.

“Let me help you,” a smooth, male voice speaks up next to you and Harry grabs the pack from your hands as he places his own coffee to the counter. You let him tear the pack open easily, pouring the sugar into your drink without problem before he puts the lid back to your cup.

“Thank you,” you mumble, closing your tired eyes for a split second. You’ve been overworking way too much these past weeks, it’s starting to shut your system down, but you don’t want to rest, not when you’re so close to finishing your project.

The past two weeks have been major, you finally made the progress you’ve been working towards for months now, letting you step into the last phase of your work finally. But it’s been a quite stressful time as you’ve been eager to finish as soon as possible, but that meant little to no time spent outside of your lab.

Harry shoots you a reassuring smile before you both grab your drinks and head out of the café in the direction of your workplace.

The past three months were one hell of a ride when it comes to Harry. You didn’t hide your dislike towards his continuous presence in your life, standing by your side wherever you went. It frustrated you, made you feel like you didn’t have your freedom any longer even though he never did anything to make you hate him. He was considerate, respectful and only wanted to do his job, yet you still gave him a hard time at the beginning, right until the need for his work was proved.

Two months ago someone broke into your apartment while you were out, they searched through the whole place, looking for something. Well, not just something, they were clearly interested in anything connected to your research, but luckily, you’re not dumb enough to just let these stuff lay around your home.

Even though you didn’t encounter the person responsible for it, the incident still shook your up. Knowing that someone could get into your personal space so easily, that they could have come at a time when you were home and vulnerable, it scared you. Harry was the person that eased the worry and fear in you, he took care of everything in an instant and upon his best advice, you moved to a new apartment with a higher security level. He even moved to the place next to yours so he could be as close to you as possible at all times. There was a much needed shift in your relationship after that and you didn’t see him as an intruder any longer in your life, but more as a hero.

“So would you like Italian or Mexican tonight for dinner?” Harry asks as the two of you enter the building, using your IDs you go through the massive security gates, the guards in post nodding in your way.

“Isn’t it your night to choose?” you smile at him sideways as you wait for the elevator.

“Okay, then Thai,” he smirks, making you laugh. “Hope you are not planning on eating it here again,” he gives you a warning look and you purse your lips.

“I have a lot to do, and—“

“Y/N, you need to rest sometimes,” he scolds you as if you were just a child.

“I do rest. Sometimes,” you answer with an innocent look as the elevator’s door slides open and you walk in with Harry following you right behind.

“Like once a week? Do you even sleep when you’re at home?”

“I do! Don’t make me look like I’m some kind of crazy workaholic!”

“I’m just worried about you, is all,” he sighs, giving you a hard look.

“Oh, Mr. Styles. If I didn’t know you better I would think you might have a soft spot for me,” you smirk at him teasingly before the elevator arrives to your floor and you walk out without a word. Harry just stares after you with a small smile tugging on his lips as he thinks about your words. It’s funny, especially because you both know something more than just a professional relationship has been going on between the two of you, only dancing around it as the situation is a little too complicated to address now.

It’s not like any rules are tying you down, but you would rather not mix up work with your private life. You might have feelings for Harry, but you refuse to act up on them until he is out of his duty as your personal guard.

Your days are usually the same. While you lock yourself up in your lab, working with no end, Harry stay either with you in there or he hovers around the door, keeping an eye on everyone and everything. Just the thought of his presence never fails to bring you a sense of comfort, knowing that you don’t have to worry about your safety until he is near. It might seem nerdy, but you can easily get lost in your work. It doesn’t feel like a job, growing up with parents who were excellent doctors and pharmacists themselves, you were doomed to be a science enthusiast yourself from the beginning. Learning has never been a task for you but a gift, as you liked to look at it.

Working overtime happens often because you lose touch with time easily once you get down to work. Nothing exists outside of your lab and you hardly realize how late it is until Harry usually warns you.

“I didn’t joke when I said I didn’t want to have dinner in here,” he steps into your sanctuary while you’re in the middle of running tests for the millionth time today. Pushing your glasses up to the top of your head while the machines are buzzing and whirling, you look up at him with a tired smile.

“Let me just… finish this one last test and then I promise we’ll head out.”

“Alright, but I’m watching you. No more tests,” he warns, sitting on one of the stools while you finish what you started.

Harry never really asked you about your work, for a while you weren’t even sure if he knows what you’re doing and why it’s so important. It was never discussed at the beginning and he never brought it up later either. But judging from the time he spends near you at the lab he must have picked up a few things about it surely.

The machines stop working and the tiny beeping sound signals that the results are out. You grab the long printed paper and start scanning the data, chewing on your bottom lip as you hope to find what you’ve been looking for all day. The numbers are coming in great, but it’s been like this for a while, it’s the end that never matches up with your expectations. So when you get there and see the graphs showing the result that you’ve been dreaming of since the start of the whole project years ago, your mouth falls open in disbelief even though it’s what you’ve been working for all this time.

“Oh my God,” you whisper.

“What?” Harry’s head snaps up in alert, jumping off the stool.

“I… I did it,” you breathe out, glancing up from the paper. “It’s my first time succeeding, Harry!” you start laughing, the shock taking over your whole body that you really did it this time.

“And what does that mean?”

“Come on, let me show you,” you tell him in excitement, pulling him over to the computer where you pull up all the data you’ve been working on. A virtual version of a cell comes up on the screen as you start typing, modelling what you want to show him. “This is a completely healthy cell, it’s what you are made of too, mostly,” you ass with a chuckle before another cell comes up on the screen. “And this is what cells that are affected by cancer look like.”

The difference is a lot more complicated than what you can explain to him in such a short time, but he can see it with his own eyes. The color, the shape, everything is different from the first one. Harry examines the screen and nods shortly, letting you know that he is following.

“I’ve been working on a substance that is able to not just detect the cancerous cells but it can also kill it effectively without hurting the healthy ones.”

You bring up the virtualized version of the substance you’ve been working on, a short animation showing how it can tell the two cells apart and only attack the cancerous one.

“I haven’t been able to get the numbers above 60% when it comes to succeeding in the process of selection so my whole project was about finding a solution to that. I’ve been trying to find the right substance to mix with our already existing one to solve the problem, but I haven’t been successful in it.”

“I assume until now,” Harry hum and you nod smirking.

“Yeah. The last test results came back very good, quite promising. It’s still not the end of the process, but it’s a huge step.”

“That’s great,” he smiles at you and though you know he probably understands just a fracture of the whole process, he can still figure out how important it is. “Congrats, Y/N.” “Thanks,” you breathe out, pride filling your chest as you shut the computer off. “I guess this is my cue to end the day,” you smile at him before packing up everything, getting ready to finally leave.

It’s not the first time Harry is spending the evening at your place. You often have dinner together, or watch a movie whenever you get home early enough to do that. Through the time you’ve spent together because of his job you’ve grown to be friends above everything. Good ones, in fact, which is a big deal for you since making friends has never been an easy task for you.

You bought takeout on the way home and as Harry set the table you poured yourself a glass of wine, knowing well Harry would never drink when he is on duty and he is basically working all the time he is with you, so you’re drinking alone. You both sit to the dining table, starting dinner together in a comfortable silence. It’s another thing you appreciate about Harry. He doesn’t try to talk when it’s not necessary, you hate small talk, you’d rather sit in silence than talk about something nonsense and Harry is a partner in that.

“When do you need to leave work tomorrow to get to the party on time?” he asks breaking the silence and you freeze. His eyes fall on you, examining your features for a moment before he smirks. “You forgot about it?”

“I just… thought it’s going to be next week,” you truthfully admit.

“We talked about it last week,” he smirks at you playfully. “And I told you it would be next week which is… this week.”

“I know how the days work, Harry,” you give him a look of ‘give me a break’ before you turn back to your food. “I just…”

“You just forgot it,” Harry finishes for you, and you just roll your eyes at him.

Glancing at him over the table you wonder if he’ll wear something different than is usual attire he always wears. Black suit with a white shirt underneath, the top two buttons left undone, giving you a tiny peek at the tattoos on his chest. You know those are not the only ones, you’ve seen him with the suit jacket off before, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his whole left arm is covered in ink and you wish you’ve had the chance to take a better look at them.

Harry is such an intriguing person in a lot of different ways. He definitely likes to keep things to himself, not one to ask for attention and it’s not just because of his work, it’s his personality. However he is good with people, interacting with them, being social. A skill you haven’t really mastered yourself yet and you probably never will. He always seems to know what to say, you’ve never seen him even the slightest bit anxious or nervous before, the confidence he holds is unmatched and it makes it hard to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t be.

After dinner he helps you clean up, just like he always does before heading out, but before he could leave he stops and turns back to face you.

“Oh, a friend of mine is visiting from the UK on Sunday. I already mentioned it to you before, but I was hoping I could get the afternoon off,” he wonders and you nod right away.

“Of course! I’ll be just fine at home,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he smiles back before walking out of your place at last.

Because of the party in the evening you are forced to stop working early the next day. It’s weird to leave the office in broad daylight, but you know today can’t be one of those days when you end up seeing the new day in the lab.

Harry was right yesterday, you completely forgot the whole party thing, meaning you didn’t plan anything ahead and you had nothing to wear, so through the day you called your sister, Mara to help you out. She was more than happy to lend you anything you needed. She meets you at the office, beaming to spend some time with you finally. It’s not that you don’t like her company, but you are quite different, is all. Your sister didn’t get sucked into the world of science, though she definitely has the bright mind to take up on any field she would want to explore. But she was more into the world of art, having written her first fantasy novel at the ripe age of twenty, she is now a bestseller author at only twenty-nine with a bubbly personality and basically every trait you never owned yourself.

“Harry! So nice to see you again!” Mara beams at the man as the three of you meet up at the lobby.

“Hi, Mara,” Harry smiles with a tiny nod.

“Alright, I have everything you could need so let’s head to yours!” your sister cheers before you make your way out to your cars.

Arriving to your home Harry splits from the two of you, letting you to get ready in peace and also to get ready himself. Mara didn’t joke when she said she has everything you need, the trunk of her car is basically filled with clothes and shoes, there’s no chance you won’t find something to wear tonight.

She orders you to take a quick shower as she unpacks everything she brought and when you emit from a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around your body and one on your head, Mara gets down to work.

“So do you have a date for today?” she curiously asks while she does your makeup.

“Huh, yeah, sure,” you huff ironically. “It’s just gonna be Harry and me.”

“So Harry is your date?” her ears perk up, but you’re quick to protest.

“Of course not! He comes with me everywhere,” you mumble with your eyes closed as she is doing something on your eyelids.

“But it could be a date,” she offers and you huff in disagreement.

“You know that’s not how it works, Mara.”

“You are making it more complicated than it is! No one would blame you if you just… went for it! Harry is obviously an attractive guy.”

“Then maybe you should date him,” you bite back bitterly. Growing up you weren’t the boys’ favorite, they always paid all the attention to your sister. It’s not that you blame her or them, she always had a more capturing and lively personality that attracted people naturally. But it made you wonder if there was something wrong with you, spending all your time with your nose buried in a book or doing researches for fun while Mara was out with her friends, living her best life. Even her published books were inspired by her personal life experiences.

“Y/N,” she sighs, her hands leaving your face so you open your eyes to look at her disapproving expression. “You obviously like him so I would never do that and besides that, he for sure likes you too.”

“What’s not true,” you deny right away, but then you look at her curiously. “But why would you think that?”

Mara smirks at you tilting her head to the side, seeing right through your act that you’re not interested in Harry. Of course you are, but you choose to keep it at bay for the sake of his job.

“Y/N, I see how that man watches every move you make. It’s written all over his handsome face.”

“Of course he watches my every move, that’s his job!”

“No, it’s different. You’ll see it sooner or later,” she smiles before ordering you to close your eyes again so she can finish your makeup.

Mara does wonders to your looks, the makeup look she does on you already makes a huge difference since you don’t bother to do anything on your every days. But she didn’t stop there, she made your hair look like you just stepped off of the pages of a magazine and the dress the two of you chose was the cherry on the top. The emerald green dress was tight around your curves, showing just enough of your body to be still considered modest, but also have some spice. And though there are a lot of advantages of the dress, your first and most important thought (to you at least) was how well it goes with the color of Harry’s eyes.

“I’m a genius,” Mara sighs satisfied with her work as you slip on the pair of nude heels and put your necessities into the little clutch you’re taking with you. Just when you’re gone with everything, the doorbell rings and your heart jumps in your chest, knowing that Harry is standing on the other side of the door.

“I’ll get it for you,” Mara smiles rushing to the door as you walk into the hallway, standing a few feet behind her so as she opens the front door and Harry comes into view, over Mara’s shoulder his eyes easily find your figure standing there, feeling a little awkward and self-conscious, like you are about to go to prom with your crush. Difference is that you are not a teenager anymore and you aren’t going anywhere together together. Tonight is just work for him.

But as his bright green eyes fall on your frame and you see his lips slightly part, you can’t help but allow yourself to think for a moment that it’s more than just work. That he feels the same way about it as you do. Though you don’t voice your hopes and just smile at him faintly, hoping you don’t look completely ridiculous in your outfit.

“Harry, come on in!” Mara invites him into the apartment and he walks in, wearing his usual black suit with the difference of having a tie on around his neck, his white shirt is appearing neat and crispy and his sometimes unruly curls are now gently combed back a little so his curls are not falling into his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile at him nervously fumbling with your clutch as he takes a few steps closer to you.

“Hi. You look… beautiful,” he smiles back at you a little breathlessly as he takes a respectful look down your body before his green irises meet your gaze again.

“Thank you. You look great too,” you chuckle softly. “Should we… head out?”

“Yeah, sure!” he nods, offering you his arm and you link your arm with his instantly, hoping you won’t trip in your heels. “Lock the door when you leave, Mara, alright?” you call out to your sister who is watching you smiling.

“Sure! Have fun!”

You wave at her one last time before walking out and shutting the door closed behind you.

This party is held every year at Pharma-Z, mostly this is the time when the brain meets the money. Investors and funders like to meet the people behind the million dollars researches from time to time and this is the occasion where both sides show up. Julian always asks you to be social and try to mingle, but the whole thing feels forced and painful for you. You’d rather just be left alone with your researches and projects without having to schmooze to the people who give you the money for your hard work.

It’s held at one of said investors’ luxurious penthouse, that doesn’t even look like someone’s home with the huge outdoors infinity pool, the spacious and modern interiors and the expensive looking decoration that was put up just for the occasion.

“Y/N! I’m so happy you are here!” Julian approaches you with a drink in his hands and you’re happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. You don’t really know others from work, only your little team you directly work with and of course, your boss, Julian.

“It’s not like I had a choice,” you chuckle giving him a short, friendly hug. Julian is far from a nightmare of a boss some people have to face at their job. He is an actually nice and very smart and intellectual person. The pharmaceutical industry can be harsh and dark, the competition between the businesses is way more intent than people think. This is why you need the protection. Some companies profit off of the fact that cancer has no cure yet. They make money from all the treatments that doesn’t even guarantee full recovery. A lot of big fish don’t want the cure, because that would make them lose a good chunk of their income and some of those would even go to the depth of hurting you for being so close to ruining their business with your invention. Pharma-Z is luckily a genuine company that wants to help sick people and that’s why you’re working there.

“You know how important it is for the company,” Julian sighs, but he understands how uncomfortable these events make you feel, though he can do nothing to help you. “Harry, nice to see you again,” he smiles at the man by your side.

“Julian, nice to see you too,” he nods, shaking hands with your boss.

“Mingle a little so people can see and meet you, alright?” Julian requests and you just nod silently before he moves on to the next group of people.

You get yourself a drink to ease your nerves a little as people start approaching you. Some of them you’ve met last year, but there are a lot of new faces. Your project has brought in quite a few new sponsors and investors and now they want to meet you and talk about the research their money is going into.

You try your best to keep a smile plastered across your face as you tell the people the same thing over and over again, receiving praise and compliments on your work before moving onto the next conversation just to start over again.

You can feel your social batteries running out, not sure you can put up with another conversation with a wealthy investor who wants you to know you have a job because they gave money for your project in hopes of you bringing more money to them.

Harry has stayed by your side the whole evening, and you didn’t notice but he kept examining you every few minutes to make sure you were holding up and he noticed how tired you’ve grown from socializing for so long.

“Y/N,” he softly calls out, his palm finding the small of your back. “Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he kindly offers and you immediately understand that he is trying to get you away from the guests and the overwhelming conversations you’ve been dealing with. Nodding you let him usher you outside, finding a spot where the two of you can be a little alone.

“I fucking… hate small talks and being nice to everyone,” you let out a long and heavy sigh, as you lean against the railing, paying just one short glance at the city’s bright lights under your feet. Harry chuckles shortly.

“I figured. You’ve been chewing your lips so hard I was afraid you’d start bleeding.”

Now that he has brought your attention to it, you realize you are doing it again, so you let go of your bottom lip from between your teeth and it brings out another chuckle from Harry.

“I’m just… not good with these… social stuff.”

“I disagree with that,” he hums, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Oh please, if you haven’t realized it, my number of zero friends is a tell, I think.”

“Come on, it’s not zero. You’re friends with Mara.”

“But family doesn’t count, she is kind of forced to be my friend,” you shrug, making him laugh.

“Okay, but I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“You spend time with me because it’s your job.”

His eyes soften on you as he leans against the railing next to you, looking so effortlessly handsome and charming, you almost need to take a deep breath at the sight of him. And the cheeky smile on his pink lips is definitely not helping your case.

“I know you didn’t mean that. You’re a smart woman, Y/N.” Reaching out he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he inches closer a tiny bit. “I think we stepped over the line of just work.”

“So… you consider me your friend?” you ask shyly.

“If you have to ask maybe I’ve been doing something wrong,” he chuckles softly, making you smile too. Folding your arms a shiver runs down your spine from the cold evening breeze. “Are you cold?” Harry asks, but before you could even say a word, he shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders.

“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out shyly.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, I think I might need another one,” you chuckle and nodding he tells you to just stay there until he gets you a new one.

Turning towards the view, you enjoy the lonely moments for a little, not too keen on going back inside and keep up the façade of interest any longer. You’d rather just head home, maybe have another drink with Harry on your couch while you watch a rerun of whatever show is on TV and then fall asleep after a hot shower. You’ve been working way too much lately and it’s just now crashing down on you. Next week you definitely should cut back on your hours at the lab, the project is already going amazing, it won’t hurt if you actually had some rest before you lose your mind.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you think it’s Harry returning, but as you turn around you are faced with a stranger, a man who is staring down at you with bloodshot eyes and… a gun pointed at you.

Your breath hitches, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight and your legs almost give up underneath you.

“What… who are you?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, tears already flooding your eyes as you melt against the railing as if you had anywhere to go, but you have no chance against him.

One glance at the gun allows you to see that it has a silencer on, with the music coming from inside and no one around, if he shoots you, he’ll be able to get away before anyone realizes what happened.

The man doesn’t answer, just holds up the gun, aiming right at your chest and you close your eyes, thinking that this is it. This is how your life ends, in the middle of a posh party with no one around to help you. Your lips are trembling and hands are shaking as you hold onto the railing, waiting for the inevitable to come, keeping your eyes shut, not wanting to see your killer as the last thing you see before you go.

And then you hear the muffled gunshot, making you scream in fear, your knees turning into jelly, but the pain never comes. Instead, you hear grunting and growling as a body falls to the ground in front of you.

Your eyes snap open and you see Harry straddling the man, the gun lying near your attacker’s hand and he is trying to reach it, but before he could, you kick it away as Harry throws a punch at his face that stops him from trying too hard to free himself.

The next few moments are so busy and blurry at the same time. Your legs give up underneath you, making you fall to the ground, your whole body shaking in waves. In the meantime Harry gets the man into a position where he can be easily controlled and people start flooding out at the scene, helping Harry while security working at the party take the man, the police already on its way.

When Harry can finally step back from the attacker, his eyes fall on your figure and he rushes over to you, kneeling down next to your trembling body, cradling you into his arms upon seeing how shaken up you are.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s over, you’re alright,” he murmurs, holding you tight as your fists grab onto his shirt, your breathing is uneven, the oxygen barely makes its way into your lungs as you’re panting and gasping from the shock. “Come on, let’s get you inside, Y/N,” he gently tells you, helping you up from the floor even though your body feels like a pile of brick.

You can feel everyone staring at you, whispering behind your back as you try to hide in Harry’s arms while he walks you back inside, away from the man that tried to take your life. He walks you into one of the bathrooms and closing the lid he sits you down to the toilet while he grabs a towel and wetting it he kneels in front of you, tapping the cloth to your cheeks gently. You haven’t even realized that you’ve been sweating from the shock and the coldness feels amazing against your burning skin.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, but not even you are sure why.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he gently murmurs, giving your hand a squeeze as you shut your eyes closed. He grabs a glass from one of the cabinets and fills it with water handing it over to you.

“Thank you,” you mumble, bringing it to your trembling lips, but before you could drink it, your eyes snap up to meet his gaze. “And thank you for… what you did.” Your voice dies down at the end, the picture of the man pointing the gun at you still living so vividly in your mind.

“No need, it’s my job after all, right?” he chuckles softly, making your lips twitch the slightest bit before you start sipping on the water.

The police show up soon and they arrest the man who refuses to talk. They also request you to give your statement about what happened, but Harry manages to let you just give them the brief story and go in sometime soon to give them your full statement so you don’t have to spend any more time there. They are quite sure the man was hired by someone who doesn’t want you to finish your project, and it’s scary how far some people are willing to go just for the money, just to keep sick people in suffering for their own benefit.

Heading home you stay silent as Harry drives, staring out the window you let the nightlights of the city pass by you while you still see the same face, the face of the man that held a gun at you tonight. The gunshot is still ringing through your ears, it was so close, so real… of course it was real! All of it was real and your life was on the line. If it weren’t for Harry, you wouldn’t be here right now.

Arriving to your home Harry helps you out of the car and you cling onto his hand as you head up to the apartment. He keys the two of you into your home, flicking the lights on and looking around before you go further inside, just to be sure.

“It’s all clear, don’t worry,” he murmurs as you nod and make your way into the bedroom. Kicking your heels off your feet you sit on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath, feeling your limbs loosening up a bit for the first time in the past hour.

Harry moves around the place doing whatever before he joins you in the room, kneeling in front of you his hands find your bare knees and your eyes meet his worry-filled green irises.

“Do you want to take a shower?” he softly asks and you nod your head. “Come on, I’ll start the water for you.”

He helps you up from the bed and walks you into the bathroom. You stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do as he starts running the water in the walk in shower before he steps back to you.

“Would you…?” you ask, turning around, needing help with the zipper of your dress. Harry clears his throat as his fingers work on it and a moment later the fabric loosens around your frame as you hold it to your chest with your arms. Turning back around you peek up at Harry and you notice the slight blush on his cheeks.

“I’ll be outside at the door, okay?” He whispers, his fingers delicately touching your cheek as you nod before you watch him walk out and close the door behind him.

The hot water feels freshening, like it could burn away the memories even though it’s still so vivid in your mind. You stand under the running water longer than you intended, but it feels nice and needed. Once you’re done, you wrap yourself into a fluffy towel and walk out of the steamy bathroom only to find Harry sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting like a loyal puppy. When he sees you, he stands from his spot and you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your body that’s barely covered.

“Alright, I’ll go now, but if you—“ “Don’t!” you gasp, panic taking over you at the thought of being left alone. One of your hands grasps his arm to stop him from moving and he freezes in his spot, staring back at your fearful eyes. “Please, stay here,” you plead, voice barely over than just a whisper.

There’s a heartbeat of a pause in him as he is watching you intently and for a moment you think he’ll say no, but then his hand finds yours on his arm and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

“Okay.”

You let out a long, relieved breath as you ease into comfort. He’s staying, he’ll be with you all night, protecting you from everything and everyone.

“Can I take a shower too?” he asks softly and you nod, stepping to your wardrobe to get him a clean towel. “Thank you. I’ll be back shortly,” he tells you before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind him.

You hear the water running again and you find yourself standing at the same spot as you listen to the noises coming from the bathroom. Harry is in there, soaking under the water naked and you can’t take your mind off of how badly you want to be there with him.

It’s not just because of what happened tonight, though it made you realize that you don’t have much time to waste. Nothing can assure that you’ll live another day and you don’t want to deny happiness from yourself. You want to be with Harry and as far as you can make it out, he feels the same way.

Upon a sudden decision, you pad your way over to the bathroom door and open it carefully, the warmth immediately hitting your face as you step inside and close it behind you. The glass of the shower is steamed up, you can only make out the blurry frame of Harry in there and you wonder if he heard you come in, but it doesn’t seem like that. His clothes from the night are lying on the floor in a pile, his watch that he always wears is carefully placed next to the sink.

Your hands grab onto the edge of the towel around your body and you unwrap yourself, hanging it up on the wall before stepping to the shower. Hoping you won’t scare him, you open the door, the steam immediately hugging your naked body warmly and you see him standing there with his back facing you as you step into the spacious walk-in shower.

He notices your presence, you see him freeze mid-movement before he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes falling on you as he slowly turns, facing you completely. Standing in front of him completely bare, you feel more vulnerable than ever in your life. You’re scared that he is going to send you away, that he won’t let you get closer to him and if that happens, you’ll feel humiliated, but he just stands there in his naked glory and doesn’t say anything, so you take it as a chance to shoot your shot.

Reaching up your hands slide to his hard chest, up to the base of his neck as you push your front against his, skin to skin with the hot water running down your bodies. His hands find your waist and you could cry from the feeling of his touch on you. Pushing yourself up to your tiptoes your nose nudges against his as your eyes fall closed.

“Y/N,” he breathes out, stopping you right when your lips could meet. Opening your eyes you see the hesitation in his green irises that appear so much darker than they usually do.

“Do you not want it? You don’t want me?” you whisper.

“I do. It’s not that,” he sighs shaking his head slightly. “But you went through a lot today. I don’t want you to make decisions you might regret in the morning.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips at how considerate and protective he is over you, thinking that this might be just something that crashed over you in the heat of the moment, but it’s been in the making from the first day you met him. Despite all your protesting against him, you knew you needed him and not just as your guard. He is what’s been missing from your life all along, you just never realized it.

“There’s nothing I could regret when it comes to you, Harry. I needed tonight to open my eyes. Our days are counted, I’m done running from my own happiness.”

He lets out a long, shaky breath as his hands hold tighter onto your waist while your hands run up his neck until your fingers tangle into his wet locks.

“I need you. And not just because of tonight. I’ve always needed you.”

“I’m here, Y/N. I’m all yours,” he breathes out before his lips smash against yours all wet and hard, but it’s the most heavenly feeling you’ve ever experienced.

You become a mess, tangled in each other, lips melting together as your hands explore naked limbs and torsos, bodies pressing tightly against each other shamelessly. Harry walks you backwards until your back hits the cold tile and you let out a whimper as you arch your back at the sudden feeling, just as his head dips down, lips attacking your neck, kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Your light leg lifts as his hands wander down your thigh, your hips pressing together and you feel how hard he is, his cock pushed against your other thigh, making you moan at the feeling. Reaching down you blindly wrap a hand around the base, giving him a few slow pumps, earning a guttural growl from him before his lips return to yours, kissing you hard and filled with passion. His hands are all over you, on your thighs, ass, back and chest, as if he was mapping your whole body wanting to remember how every inch feels under his touch.

Without tearing his lips away from yours, he blindly reaches behind him, shutting the water off before urging you to jump into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you out of the shower, placing you to the counter next to the sink as he stands between your legs, his hands once again finding your breasts as they knead them, making you whimper and shake under his touch. It’s euphoric and addictive, you already know you won’t be able to go a day without feeling him against you like this.

“Bed?” he breathes out against your mouth and you nod eagerly. Reaching to the side he grabs a towel, wrapping it around you, tapping and squeezing you to dry you off, throwing fits of giggles when you grab it and wrap it around his body as well.

The towel falls to the floor abandoned and forgotten as he lifts you off the counter and brings you to the bed, laying you down and holding himself up above you with one arm. His other hand cups your cheek and turning your head you kiss his palm gently, eyes glued to his as he settles between your legs.

“Are you sure about this?” he breathes out, his lips dancing against your cheek and the corner of your mouth.

“Yes! Harry, please!” you beg with a whimper, your whole body aching to feel him inside you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” he kisses you as his hand leaves your heated face, runs down your naked body until his fingers reach your throbbing clit.

He slides two digits through your already wet folds, but just to work you up even more he starts drawing circles on your bud, turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your fingers dig into the lean muscles on his back, feeling them twitch from his movements and one hand sliding down to his ass, grabbing a handful of him while pushing him closer to you, his erection pressing against your core.

“Harry, I need you!” you moan, not able to contain yourself any longer. You need to feel him, you need him as close as possible.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab a condom from the drawer, ripping the package open with your teeth before you carefully grab his erection and roll the condom down his length, ready to finally feel him inside you.

He flicks his fingers on your clit one last time before his hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few pumps while his soft lips kiss down your jawline and throat, his face hiding in the crook of his neck. Your arms circle around his shoulders, your chest heaving from the sensation as he positions himself just right, the tip teasing your hole. Harry lifts his head up, his bright eyes finding your gaze just as he sinks into you, filling you up perfectly.

“H-Harry! Fuck—“ you gasp at the feeling, your walls stretching around his thick cock as he stays still for a few moments, letting you adjust to his size.

You draw your legs up, giving you more space to go deeper as he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of you oh so perfectly, inching you closer to your relief with each movement. You cup his face in your hands, staring into his eyes as if you could see his soul in them and for a split second, you feel like you actually do. His lips are parted and the cross pendant is grazing your chest while he fucks into you, never falling out of his rhythm.

You want to beg to him not to stop, to keep moving and moving, but no words can leave your mouth as your back arches, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. You start grinding your hips in sync with his, allowing him to reach deeper into you, making your toes curl from pleasure.

“Harry, I’m gonna—I-I’m gonna—Ah!” You can’t make up one coherent sentence as your legs start shaking, feeling your orgasm taking over your body.

“I know, baby. Let it go. Let me make you feel good,” he pants, his lips kissing you everywhere he can reach, your lips smashing against each other in a messy kiss, your tongue meeting his in the middle just when you reach your high.

You moan and cry out his name, fingers digging into his flesh as you chase your release. Seeing you fall apart underneath him is enough to throw him over the edge, spilling himself into the condom as his mouth hangs agape, your name falling off his tongue as if it was the holiest glorification. Combing your fingers through his hair you hold him to your chest as he collapses on top of you, his head lying on your naked chest as you both try to catch your breath in the sudden silence that came over you without the sounds of your passion.

Rolling off of your body he slips out of you, an empty feeling taking over you right away, but he is quick to cradle you into his arms to keep the intimacy. You lay your head to his chest, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you, but you couldn’t care less. You listen to his steady heartbeat as you draw one of the swallows on his chest with your finger, running it over the lines of the ink. You want to soak in the moment and stay in it for as long as possible, but you can barely keep your eyes open. As Harry’s fingers are gently running up and down your bare back you let your eyes close and the last thing you remember is hearing his soft whisper.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”

You wake up without an alarm in the morning and it’s the first time for that in a long-long time. You stir and groan before you open your eyes, your hands reaching out next to you, looking for the man that was next to you when you fell asleep, but there’s nothing and no one beside you now.

Panic rises in your chest as your eyes pop open and you frantically look around in the room, hoping to see him somewhere near, but you’re alone.

“Harry?” you call you as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest since you’re still naked. No answer comes and you can feel your heart rate rising instantly.

Getting out of bed you grab the nearest clothing item you find which is an old hoodie, and you put on a pair of clean panties before you carefully walk out of the bedroom, afraid of what you might find outside, but it’s completely silent and still, no one is around. Harry has left.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, feeling the lump in your throat growing as tears are forming in your eyes.

Where did he go? Why did he leave? Is he coming back? Is he gone forever?

You can’t stop yourself from going into depth you shouldn’t, just because you don’t find him first thing in the morning, but you still haven’t entirely recovered from last night’s events and before you could stop yourself, you are thinking about the worst possibilities there could be.

And then you hear the lock turning in the front door.

Blood rushes out of your head as you freeze, afraid it’s another attacker and this time you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. But as the door opens Harry walks in with a paper bag in his arm and you can’t help, but start sobbing at the sight of him.

“Harry!” you cry out, launching at him and he barely have time to put the bag down before he catches you, locking you in his strong arms.

“Hey! No need to worry, it’s just me!” he soothes softly, his hands running up and down your back and head. “I’m sorry I scared you, just wanted to get you something to eat, baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as you try your best to hold back your sobs.

“I just woke up alone and I thought…”

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left while you were sleeping. But I’m back and I’m alright.”

You just nod, hugging him a little longer before you loosen your hold around him to lean back and look him in the eyes.

“So… you’re staying? With me?”

“If you want me to, yes,” he nods with a soft smile as he cups your tear-soaked face in his hands. “I’ll keep you safe and sound and I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

“Just be yourself and… be with me,” you shyly ask him and he nods, his smile growing into a wide grin before he leans down and captures your lips in a sweet, intoxicating kiss.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[canonobsessions]

Any NSFW headcanons for Julian (preferably with a fem or nb s/o) from TPB? You're doing the lords work out here, thank you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

a/n: I'm sorry I'm so slow, but here you go! Fandom: Trailer Park Boys

Scenario: Julian with their s/o head-canons!

🥃 Let's just say with you, it was just different. Usually, he's going to be calm, cool, and collected. But with you, everything changed. Your personality and your charm just worked on him in ways it hadn't with other women. You made him flustered in certain moments, with just a look or a shift to your body language, he realized how bad he had it for you. That first meeting was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, after all, he prides himself on being one of the level-headed members of the park. 🥃 Before he actually bites the bullet and asks you out, it's more than a little obvious that he's trying to get in your good favors. Normally, people go to him with their problems or he's trying to do things for himself. But, with you? He's around often, seeing if you need something fixed around the house. He's going to the store, do you want anything while he's out? Is anyone giving you trouble? Julian is going to be a busy body until he finally works up the nerve to actually ask you out. 🥃 It becomes a bit of a problem when Ricky and Bubbles take notice. Naturally, they're going to get involved. Bubbles is reasonable, talking to Julian about you. How he just needs to go on and ask you out. Julian knows that Bubbles is right, but Ricky is ready to go and tell you himself because Julian's acting weird and they have to focus on their current scam, not on how the fuck he's going to approach you. It results in a bit of a fight, just outside of your place. It's an unorthodox way that you might have found out that Julian actually wants to go out with you, but in the end, when you ask him if it's true, he confesses. To say he was relieved that it was out in the open and you accepted those feelings, he's going to mellow back out. 🥃 Now Julian wants you around his place. He wants to talk to you about anything and everything. From the books he's read while in the pen to his dreams for the rest of his life. Dates are going to be a little bit different than before. Oh, he might start with a good date of Chinese food, but there's more to it. He's a bit more thoughtful, he's a bit more in awe of you. He wants better for you, more than he wants it for himself now. Talking to you, being around you, and just hearing your laugh just high-lights how head over heels he is for you. 🥃 There would definitely be some shame the more you learn about him and his past and all of the mistakes he's made. But, he's willing to be a better man with you. Maybe he might cut back on a few things here and there, he might make some exceptions for you he wouldn't make for anyone else. It dawns on him pretty quickly that he wants to better himself for an entirely different reason than usual. He's going to be brimming full of plans on how to actually invest in a future he wants to see you thriving in. 🥃 There's no doubt he'd be physical in his love for you as well. His hands wouldn't stray too far. Arm wrapped around your back and hand on your hip at a party around the park, hand on your thigh as he drives you around town, and when you're home alone those big, rough hands are going to roam wherever you let them. He's partial to coming up behind you and sliding his hands up your sides. Julian can't get enough of figuring out just what places are going to leave you begging for his help. 🥃 Julian is going to want you to move in with him, without a doubt. He's the type of man who wants to provide for you and make sure you're well taken care of in every avenue. It's more convenient and enjoyable if you're right there. There's a certain amount of anxiety that crops up if he hasn't seen you around for a while. He's protective and doesn't want you to end up at the mercy of bottle kids or a stray bullet from an errant gun fight. 🥃 He hates fighting with you. It's a conflict of who he is as a person. Julian hates seeing you stressed or upset, he doesn't like it when you've got a problem and he's the cause of it. But, that doesn't mean he's going to be a pushover either. He's more the type of man who's going to walk away before he says anything

he regrets, telling you he's going for a walk or that you'll both talk about it later. You may need to pursue him on getting any kind of resolution to the issue. If he thinks he's doing something in the best interest for your lives, he's going to go behind your back and either make sure you don't know or he's going to prove how right he was. 🥃 Julian isn't above apologizing to you when he's wrong and he's fucked up. He admits what he's done wrong, he's finally ready to talk it out when he realizes how dumb he was being. Blinded by the prospect of money or doing what he thinks best or solving the many problems in the park, it doesn't matter what it is, because he's going to feel like shit. He's definitely going to be focusing more on spending time with you and making it up to you in whichever way he thinks you'll like best. This man does at least have sense enough to be ashamed of the fight. 🥃 If/When he inevitably gets sent back to jail, he's going to be extra miserable. The letters and calls will be as frequent as they can be. It's definitely a high-light to his bleak time in there to know you're still there and waiting for him. He's going to feel safer, oddly enough, knowing you're there and handling things for him this time around. Visitation is going to be full of his smoky eyes staring you down. Don't be shocked if you receive a letter written with hints of how much he's thinking about you at night and some of the things he can't wait to do when he gets out again.