#Julian’s hair is a bit different but the essence of the him. that’s him

[panismightier]

I stayed up way past my bedtime making the ASR crew in Picrew oops

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

(First things first I'm not a scientist or work/study in this field so if anyone wants to correct me go ahead! ) also disclaimer I COMPLETELY agree that malec is completely different than twilight I just wanted to expand on the Warlock aging thing.

Um a question. Is it confirmed that the brain stops aging? Because that just honestly doesn't sound right. We know that the body stops aging and that hair stops growing but I feel like while the brain will stop aging at some point it would almost have to be 25 for everyone (almost because well this is more of a theory)

But why do u say that? Well that us the age that the brain is fully developed and no matter how smart a teenager is the rational part of the brain isn't developed yet and good judgment isn't going to be something that teens excel at. I mean it may sound harsh but it is the truth. Yes teens are intelligent and can think for themselves BUT especially today we basically view teens as fully capable of ALL the things an adult is capable of and it's just not true and no this is not about experience.

In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.In teens' brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center are still developing—and not always at the same rate. That’s why when teens have overwhelming emotional input, they can’t explain later what they were thinking. They weren’t thinking as much as they were feeling.

-university of Rochester medical centre

What does this have to do with warlocks(and other immortals)? Well this does prove that the brain does age still but differently. Because while everyone makes emotional decisions from time to time immortals are usually the ones described are the wisest or most rational (and literally Magnus is dubbed the wise one in the cards cj made when she made the 7 vices and virtues series I think it was called) and that can't exactly happen in the brain isn't fully developed because while everyone can make emotional AND rational decisions there is still a very big difference. It is literally one of the reasons why teens a criticized so much "why did you do that" " teens these days can't think" etc .

Also an aging brain is when the cognitive parts of the brain start failing. But also for a lot of people they become bitter. One part of the description about warlocks is this

Warlocks are immortal beings. At one point in their lives, they stop aging—which point exactly will depend on their demon parent.At one point, however, after an unspecific but long duration of time, warlocks, like most immortal or long-lived beings such as Silent Brothers, can "fade" and "petrify"—when they grow bored or unsurprised by life and stop looking forward to their years ahead,when the weight of their long lives settle on them, they may begin to lose their minds,and/or stop feeling and living, in all other essences of the word except literally.

So basically what I'm saying is that the brain of a Warlock and other immortals. Like it's WAYYYY slower after the stopping of aging but solitude makes is faster(the codex talks a bit about that in the oldest known warlocks and in the bane chronicles about Nix ). But the point is especially warlocks are big critical thinkers. The magic is basically fused with science. We see Magnus become frustrated with shadowhunters all the time when they are reckless (literally just saw it with Julian and Emma in sobh) and while Magnus himself acts emotionally from time to time too and could be attributed to physically being 19 (like saving ragnor with the swords in tlbotw and jumping to save every bleeding heart at the drop of a hat) but when you compare him to an actual 19 year old he is wayyyy more rational and again that is not JUST experience because it is proven that rationality just isn't something you learn at any age but something that is developed in the brain in the mid 20s. So I guess that when it comes to Magnus in particular I can't say that his brain is or isn't completely developed BUT standing next to the shadowhunters who physically are usually around his age and because of shadowhunter culture are supposed to age quicker so 18 year old act like 30 year olds sometimes these 16-20 year old shadowhunters are still obviously way younger mentally than Magnus.

Maybe only immortal exception is vampires because they are dead and their bodies are literally corpses when you think about it so it is improbable for their brains to age, plus there is that thing that vampires are regarded as the biggest prima donas and the biggest partiers. We can see how they act during the party in tid, the coke craze Magnus had to stop in the bane chronicles, literally the water that the downworlder-shadowhunter alliance was crated was Alec calling Lili out on just being emotional and not bringing actual decisions and important stuff to the table.

Sooo yeah anyway sorry it kind of turned into a big rant...I hope you don't mind

Hello there!

It hasn’t been confirmed that a warlock’s brain stops aging along with the rest of them anywhere in canon, but it’s an easy assumption to make. If a warlock’s brain aged similar to a normal human being’s, it would mean that their brain cells would start dying out as they age and nearly every warlock would have dementia, or at the very least their would degenerate as they grew older, which is obviously not the case.

But after reading this, I agree and- yeah! It makes sense that warlock’s brains would age much slower instead of completely freezing like the rest of them (also, I don’t think hair growth completely stops?? Cause Magnus is mentioned to have stubble a couple of times, most notably in the qoaad proposal scene, and that wouldn’t entirely be possible if hair growth stops?? Or maybe it’s just an inconsistency ksksksk) ANYWAY back to the point - in trsom we see that Magnus creating the Crimson Hand cult was mainly emotionally driven (he’s hurting, he wants to lash out at his father, tsc.) but at the beginning of trsom, he makes it clear that he would never start a cult, even as a joke (and he has no recollection of his memories of the crimson hand, so this isn’t a learning through mistakes situation). There’s clearly some growth in those couple of hundred years 🤔

I think part of Warlock’s ‘petrifying’ also has a lot to do with their mental health tbh. A person living in solitude, especially for several years will obviously have a different mental state than someone who isn’t. And warlocks obviously lead very difficult lives, which can often be detrimental for their mental health.

At the same time, this is very complicated tbh 😂 Magnus is the only warlock that we know for sure who stopped ageing as a teenager (19 counts as a teenager, right???). Everyone else, including Tessa, stopped aging when they were adults, and they all seem more mature than Magnus. (There’s also Hypatia and Malcolm but we don’t know exactly when they stopped ageing, so yeah)((if it was mentioned, then I don’t remember it ksksksks). But Magnus is somehow BOTH mature and wise, and sometimes emotionally driven and reckless. 🤔 I still do think part of his wisdom is all the things he’s seen and experienced, which is all far more than any of us could comprehend.

I feel like I need to a lot of research at this point tbh - go through all the scenes with Magnus and chronologically date them and correlate them with his age and dissect his thought process and shit before I come to a conclusion about how his brain is aging 😭😭😭

Kskskkk this post is all over the place I’m so sorry about that 😅

But you don’t have to be sorry!! I love a good discussion about warlock anatomy :) also, that study about adult brains vs teenage brains sounds very interesting! 👀

[sunflowersseemhappy]

If you're up for it, Imagine the main 6 having a premonition of sorts about the apprentice dying and they do the utmost best to ensure it never happens but when the time comes they realize all their preparations to stop the death actually causes the death of the apprentice. Bonus is if they have to deal with the apprentice dying in front of them and they can’t do anything about it and the apprentice doesn’t look at them with any malic or rage. Just a sad, resignation, but their expression makes it clear that they don’t blame the cast for what happened.

This is probably a bit different from what you’re expecting anon but I hope you like it and crying. I definitely have to be in the mood for angst but I think I needed these to have an essence of hope at the end (especially in these times). Wishing you all well!

There’s mentions of blood but not any detail!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED but here is my Masterlist!

Asra

Asra’s heart in in his throat, he’s screaming at the nightmare so terrifying it feels like it will never end.

No relief comes to Asra when he wakes up.

Only dread, something telling him not to ignore it, maybe he should though. After all it was only a nightmare...

It's the first nightmare he doesn’t tell you about and that is the first of many mistakes he makes.

Asra wants to believe he can fix this, he’s become stuck in the past again, stuck living in a time that doesn’t exist.

If only he had looked forward.

Now he’s living his nightmare, and worst of all he wasn’t there. Just like the Lazaret he’s too late, but he’s not screaming.

He’s begging and crying, telling you this was his fault, telling you to stay, don’t leave him again, he can’t handle it.

As he cradles you in his lap you give him a resigned smile and trace his cheek, and you beg of him back.

“Don’t keep looking back Asra, it’ll only hurt. Move forward and have a life for me, you can tell me about it when we see each other once more.”

Asra’s glad of those final words, he didn’t get them before.

The shop stays empty, but once a year a white haired magician returns to Vesuvia and to the shop laying flowers at the door and the whole of the city knows Asra is living a life but will never forget who he’s living it for.

Nadia

It’s the first vision Nadia has that remains unclear, her intuition warning her yet keeping the knowledge just out of sight.

She knows it has something to do with you and she worries so.

Because she could hear the wailing, see the blood, feel her heart beating chaotically in her chest.

Against all reason she does nothing, not beacuse she doesn’t care but because she does not understand what lies ahead.

She falls into the trap of her own self-doubt, past ghosts coming to haunt her, telling her nothing has happened and not to worry.

And the day comes when that vision comes to pass and it is so much worse than she expected because she understands.

All of it, it was her voice wailing, your blood, her heart beating against her chest in fear and anxiety as she calls for help and wipes the blood from your lips with the sleeve of her dress.

She’s failed you again, ignoring the signs and standing by, she wonders why she ever believed she could be a good ruler, a good partner.

You grip Nadia’s hands and give her a determined look, you still believe in her, your eyes say as much.

“I know this hurts Nadia, but like everything it’s a lesson worth learning. You’re going to be the wisest ruler Vesuvia has ever had...I’m so proud of you, you’re going to be great.”

Nadia would trade all her wisdom to have you back.

The palace is a melancholy place, ruled by a wise Countess who ensures personally that everyone of her subjects is happy and they in turn share their happiness with her but she will never forget her true happiness with a magician's apprentice who gave her the greatest wisdom of all.

Julian

Julian puts all his belief into thinking that was just a nightmare, or his mind running just a little too wild during the boring hours of the night.

But those images, blurred at the sides of his hands covered in blood, hair falling in his face, gritted teeth and harsh breathing enclose him with an icy chill.

No matter how much he drinks that won’t leave him and Julian begins to believe that at some point this will be his fault. He’ll do or say something that causes those images and that pain.

Julian pretends everything is alright, but he’s distancing himself for the time being, maybe that will help.

Julian wishes he had been with you when this happened, there's a startling clarity with that nightmare.

His vision blurred by tears, his hands pressing against the bloody wound, his hair falling maddingly in his face, gritting his teeth and breathing harshly because he can’t fix this...

He’s always been so calm in the face of death but it's different because it's you and he’s not ready and he’s so sorry he pushed you away.

You give him an understanding nod.

“Julian... it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. Just don’t push anyone away anymore please, keep everyone close. You never know when you’ll lose those close to you, it’s important for them to know how much you love them just as I know how much you love me.”

Julian wonders if he loved you enough.

The good doctor does as he’s told, he keeps his friends and family close to his heart and loves them endlessly. Julian never pushes anyone away again, their love lies in his heart next to the memory of a magician who never once gave up on him.

Muriel

Muriel is no stranger to nightmares, especially ones of him losing you but this one definitely feels too real.

Bodies pressed together, something damp on his cheeks, probably tears, and he’s shaking with rage, terror, pain?

Muriel wonders if there's anything he can do but maybe that’s the point, his subconscious telling him he’s worrying too much.

Or not worrying enough.

Muriel feels himself falling down that rabbit hole, trusting only himself to do things properly to make things okay to keep you from harm.

Keeping you from doing the things you say you need to do and it becomes too much one day and then it happens and...

It’s his fault, Muriel has tried so hard to keep you safe that his actions have caused this.

His body hunched over yours as if he could still protect you, and that’s blood damp on his cheek not just tears and he’s shaking in remorse as he whimpers against you.

He doesn’t want to be without this, you. Muriel can see the regret in your eyes that you’re leaving him but also a dear smile.

“You are so strong Muriel, I’m so glad I got to see that. Keep being strong, protect others and know you can protect and love yourself. Our friends need that, the world needs that.”

Muriel’s so sure the last of his strength would be buried with you.

But if anything it grows stronger, the hermit becoming a hermit no longer, being strong and loving and honest. The meadow outside the hut is filled with laughter and people who enjoy his company, never alone. Even when they all leave for the evening Muriel is never alone, carrying the strength of a magician who taught him what true strength really is.

Portia

Portia is already crying when she escapes the vision, shaken to her core recalling the hopelessness, the loss of her own thought.

Her head was pressed against something at one point, she could see the eyes but the world was grey, silent all around her, fabric bunched in her hands as tears streamed down her face.

She’s never known such terror.

For a moment the world felt devoid of joy.

She tells you as much as you hold her, and as you hush her and bring joy to Portia’s face once again Portia realizes...

There would be no joy in the world if you were not here.

Portia becomes worrisome, she thinks less of adventure and fun and more about knowing you’re safe.

She’s frantic and sleepless, placing herself in harm's way before even thinking just to keep you safe.

And when that day comes, the one that had felt unavoidable the world truly does feel joyless.

Her head is pressed up against yours looking into those eyes, they were grey in her vision she didn’t want to believe they belonged to you and the world is deadly silent in her ears as she sniffles into your clothes.

The last few weeks she’s lost so much joy and here goes the last piece, you smooth out her curls with a wide smile.

“Oh Portia, I really loved our adventures I wish we could have gone on more. I know... how about you go and have more without me? You’d be a great pirate queen. I’m sure you’ll make lots of people very happy, you always made me so happy. Always.”

And for a little while Portia forgets what joy feels like.

But one day a spark finds her and Portia’s been chasing it ever since, traveling the world and bringing joy to all and there are lots of adventures. There are many whisperings in Vesuvia of what became of Portia Devorak, only a few know the truth, she’s living every adventure before her and tells the greatest stories about the magician at her side.

Lucio

Lucio’s been though and seen a lot of terrifying things but that vision is by far the worst, he very suddenly feels dread build in his chest.

And he doesn’t know what seemed worse the feeling of a limp body in his arms, the fluttering heartbeat against his chest or the vision of himself reflected in a pool of crimson.

His defences are up, Lucio spends nights staying awake watching over you with hesitation in his muscles.

No one gets near you under his protective glare.

Lucio begins to think it was just his mind wandering, it's not going to happen he decides one day he’s sure of it.

He’s protected you and shielded you and that night he decides to celebrate with you (although you’re sure to be curious what you’re celebrating.

But celebration never comes.

Only Lucio carrying you unsteady in his arms, your body limp and heartbeat fluttering against his chest, Lucio’s own heart feels dead in his chest as he stares down at his reflection in the pool of blood.

He was so adamant he could shoulder this burden himself, but that was yet another mistake he’s made.

You should be angry, you have every right to look at him that way but instead your eyes hold admiration and hope.

“You’re so different now, I almost don’t recognize you. You’ve changed for the better Lucio, don’t let that go okay? Don’t be afraid to make your mistakes, but please learn from them, accept them. You’ll be a better person for it, a hero, my hero.”

Lucio never wanted to be anyone's hero but yours.

Each of his day’s the former count of Vesuvia travels across the land, he can be brash and roguish but tales are told about his heroics of slaying monsters and tilling fields to help the farmers. He lives each day learning from mistakes and wondering if his cute magician is proud of him and they are.

[wearecounterfeit]

Rolling Stone Russia interviewed Jamie before Counterfeit. headed on over for their gigs. You can find the interview in Russian here.

We have a rough translation for you below:

"I apologize for the late call," Jamie begins politely, carcassing one cigarette and pulling out a new one from the pack. Behind the back of a 28-year-old actor and musician, he can see a room lit by a floor lamp with a window almost to the wall. The atmosphere is very cozy, even in the absence of curtains. - Lately, a lot has happened. On Friday, I need to be at the funeral of my friend's father - we've known each other since I was eight, and before that I rehearsed a lot. The whole group now lives together in a country house, but because of the circumstances, I had to come to London for a short time. " Jamie's hair is combed back, with a black denim jacket that reveals a light blue shirt unbuttoned over his chest. The leader of Counterfeit is visibly enlivened when I tell him that I have just returned from a short but exhausting tour with Machine Gun Kelly. "I know Kelly! - with a smile of recognition, exclaims Bower, a handsome guy with delicate features. The earring glitters in his nose. - We had dinner with him somehow, and we have a lot of common friends. He is awesome!"

How do you, the musicians, survive on long tours? I was exhausted even four days.

It always happens - you just have to go through this state. The first week is always the heaviest, your body is shocked, and then you are drawn. I always thought that the most important thing for the band is the performances, so you need to make sure that everything that happens on the tour does not interfere with them. I love touring - it's on the road that I feel most comfortable. When the tour comes to an end, I try not to notice that this is the last concert - I do not want to stop. When it all ends, it takes me about a week for a kind of decompression - I understand that I'm exhausted, and I plan to spend this time in bed eating pizza and in every way imitating a sloth. However, at some point I get an incredible itch - the same happens when we get a day off during the tour - wake up at five in the morning and realize that you do not need to play any concert - you can rest. In any case, the end of the tour always causes mixed feelings - touring is exhausting, but on the other hand, you are on the road with friends, with the family that you chose yourself - this is a bonus. We've known my guitarist Tristan from the age of eight, so we perfectly understand when we start to enrage each other. The same goes for the other members of the group, the tour manager and the technicians - they are like a family, we have known each other for a very long time, and we understand when it is necessary to shut up.

Have you watched the TV series "The Tourists "?

Kelly was in it, was he not? I read that it was closed after the first season, but did not see it. We have one guy among the staff, whose name is Peter. So, Peter is a bloody pocket rocket! You know, we are always involved in the process of loading equipment onto the site. One day I went off to smoke one cigarette, and when I came back in a couple of minutes, all my shit - and it's a lot of it - was already on the stage. Peemar - that's what we call him, - a very short guy, and I do not know how he gets up such things. The guys from our team work very hard, and without them we just could not do it. I consider it very important to maintain friendly relations with them - often you see terrible examples when the group conducts between themselves and the staff a line dividing the guys into "them" and "us". For me, it's dog shit - we all work for the same purpose.

An hour ago I spoke on the phone with Isaac Holman of Slaves , and asked if he knew your group. He said he knew the name, but he had never heard your music. What, in turn, can you say about Slaves ?

I like Slaves ! I recently discovered this band for myself, and was impressed with how just two guys with a guitar and drums can create such a dense sound. They sound very cool and damp - I like it! They also have an incredible cover on " Shutdown " Skeptics - grime is perfectly combined with punk rock. For me, so generally now there is more punk in pimp than in punk rock - they send everyone to hell and talk about real shit. That cover simply blew up the airwaves when it sounded on BBC Radio 1.

Since we're talking about Skept, then how do you like his joint track with Mick Jagger?

I have not heard yet, but in general it's very cool: Skepta and Mick Jagger, two absolute icons of different generations, together! Skept in England is indeed a cultural phenomenon - he is at the forefront of the grime scene, working with Drake, directed by Boy Better Know .

What kind of music do you like lately?

I really liked the new album [Marilyn] Manson. Amazing record - he seemed to be back in those days when I first met his work - then only the track " Fight Song " came out . And after a softer, in my opinion, " Pale Emperor " - I'm a fan of Manson, but I listened to that album a couple of times and put it aside. When I really like music - like " Heaven Upside Down " - I lose it again and again without stopping until I'm already sick of it. This is an incredibly clever record, and I really like her deep aggression.

Also recently, I was mentally returning to the time when I was fifteen - then only came "The First Impressions of Earth " The Strokes , an album that summed up my teenage period - when I first heard it, it just gave me a brain. Recently I sat down and listened to their first three albums. " Is This It " and " Room On Fire " are quite similar, but in spite of this, both there and there are great songs. The third plate of The Strokes is just gloomy - Julian Casablancas, they say, he decided then to send everything to hell - so he was tired of everything.

In addition to The Strokes and Manson, there are many friendly bands that I like, for example, The Xcerts - I'm their longtime fan. Soon the guys have a new album; they play a melodic pop-rockin 'pop-pop, but without any reproduced shit. I like the latest release of The Story So Far ; The new single The Architects , which was released a couple of months ago, is simply amazing! I'm repeating these records, but, you know, when you're doing your music and you're very involved in it, then you start missing something new - I force myself to listen to new bands and be aware of what is happening in the music world.

A really cool service for such researches is Spotify with its section "similar artists". God, is he really inaccessible in Russia? It's terrible! We also have an excellent DJ Dan Karty on BBC Radio 1, he conducts a Sunday rock show and always tries to promote new bands, which is very cool - I learned about many newcomers thanks to him. I also have a brother Sam, who listens to heavier teams. This scene is very self-contained and full of cool projects, for example, thanks to him I recently discovered for myself Worthwhile - they play something like melodic hardcore. Hell, there are so many names of genres that I'm always confused in terms!

It's very cool when you find a group at a stage when they have very few followers - listen to them, go to concerts, and when they become popular, you are "Yes, hell! I have long loved them! "

Your latest video for the song You Can’t Rely turned out pretty halloweeny. Do you celebrate this holiday?

Of course! On this day everyone seems to dress the way we look every day.

What about horror movies?

I've always loved this genre - I like even bad horror movies. In general, I like all genres, because in the end it all depends on how interesting the story is. I think that I like horrors because, including them, you know roughly in advance that you will find out: there will necessarily be a protagonist who will be saved from the devil's wicked entity, or if you are on the side of this most evil essence, you just wait, when it will all dunk.

I also like science fiction, but again, the story should emotionally entice me. This succeeds in the production of the studio Blumhouse , as well as the authorship of James Wang - this guy is just a genius. The genre of horrors, having begun the way from a distant shelf, has strongly advanced in that to force spectators to perceive it seriously.

I have not seen the new " Blade Runner " yet, but I've heard a lot of good things about it. Did you like the movie? I'm a fan of the first part and I understand the general tension that arises every time a remake or a continuation of the classics is shot. Imagine that someone decided to remake your favorite record twenty years later in the spirit of "The album is excellent, but I want to write down my version." A natural reaction to this will be: "Wait, do you really think that this is a hell of a need? Maybe we'll leave it as it is? "This approach has to be resisted internally, and I'm looking forward to the moment when I can see" Blade Runner 2049 "- after all, it's a sequel, not a remake.

In one of the interviews you said that the engine of your creativity - both texts and music - is anger and aggression. With age, people usually become a bit calmer - what do you think will move you in the future?

You know, I once suppressed aggression - in the period from fifteen to twenty-five, but then I realized how it happens to many, that all these emotions are equally necessary in life - they are needed for the senses. In our first album, the malice I mentioned is not a reflection of my current state at that time, but rather there is my retrospective view of life. I believe that most of the art is born out of pain, and for me, as an artist, the pain is a powerful moving force - it concerns both songs and poems and some artistic scribbles (I'm not an artist, but I tried to draw). I do not know what will inspire me in the future - now we are starting to quietly work on a new album, and a lot of ideas are in the air. Usually I take as a basis one idea or written down on a line and build music around it - from this everything is born. It is important to establish an inner connection with yourself and pull out the words that you want to express, and also surround yourself with inspiring people. The new album will definitely have a lot of pain again - I do not know what will inspire me this time, but something definitely should - otherwise the record will turn out to be damn boring!

Say, and your name was never pronounced as "Bowie"?

Damn, no! Although I'm fucking waiting for such a case - I would like that when you check into the hotel, someone thinks I'm his son. By the way, my father's name is David - he will have to ask this question.

[crocodilenialledfics]

Their love shouldn't have been so intense. Niall shouldn't have been able to bring her to her knees like this. Niall wasn't quite sure what he did to deserve her but there's nothing in the world he wouldn't do for her.

flashback to where it all started, Soren or Ren for short was 26. she was a journalist at The Rolling stone- in fact the youngest yet. she was incredibly proud of where she was and she definitely didn't take it for granted.

Ren prided herself in capturing the real essence of what music should be. She covered the section on Music reviews- Ren's Review. the name alone made her sick but it's what made her money.

Ren, however hated phonies, and that was exactly what Niall was. the music industry grew up without him. it was now 2017 and he was still whining about a girl that so clearly broke his heart. how many times could one person write about it? it worked for the classics but as Niall overused the same four chords and same sad lyrics, Ren thought her head would explode.

It wasn't anything personal- except for the fact that he was a complete douche to his fans and barely gave anyone an ounce of respect- also, he refused an interview with her. refused. Ren was both annoyed and angry and feeling lots of resentment towards the male race when she wrote the article. did she mean everything she said? of bloody course she did. would she take it back? absolutely not.

when Niall’s management called her, Ren was already not in the mood. Niall was washed up, plain and simple. as if her opinion changed the worlds opinion of him? probably not but he was whiny anyways. she'd even sent an early copy before publishing it.

With unbridled ambition and stubbornness, Ren agreed to meet with some people on the behalf of Niall. Ren internally scoffed because if he was so upset why couldn't he meet with her instead.

"hello, i'm Janice," the woman introduced herself. "i'm the media head. this is Dane, Mr. Horan’s image consultant."

"nice to meet you both," she smiled, shaking their hands. they sat down at the table and ordered drinks.

"so i've heard Mr. Horan has an issue with the article i've written?" Ren asked, glazing over the menu.

"yes we were actually hoping you could make a few changes," Janice said. "just so it doesn't totally ruin his career."

"look," Ren closed her menu. "it's the truth. I guess it's not blatantly clear but then again your management team has yet to master what promo really means. Niall’s image, as hard as you've tried to preserve it, has gone to shite. until his music is real and meaningful, my opinion won't be changed and i will still publish the article."

"is there any price?" Dane asked, pulling his check book out. "you name it and-"

"save it Dale," she picked her menu up. "i'm thinking about the steak, what about you?"

"oh-uh it's Dane actually," he replied meekly.

"right," she nodded, looking him up and down.

Niall was livid. he read the article. he reread it, even. everything was a lie. Anger coursed through him the more he read the word.  

washed up pop star

the same three chords used over & over again

unoriginal lyrics derived from horrible writers

how long can he use the same worn down archetypes without people noticing?

does he even care about his fans who have done nothing but support him through thick and thin times?

Niall was already on the phone with Janice as he went out the door. He headed straight to the main office ready to tear this Soren Maude a new one.

Janice advised him to keep calm, to let it blow over except he was insulted and pissed off. Soren had absolutely no right to criticize him when he didn't even know the half of it.

Niall marched right into the office of Rolling stone ready to butt heads with someone.

"i need to speak with a Soren Maude, please," he demanded, arms crossed over his face.

"I'm sorry Soren isn't available right now," the receptionist said. he looked right past Niall as if he didn't even exist.

"i need to speak to him now," Niall insisted.

exasperated, he sighed. the bloke picked up the phone. "Ren, Niall Horan is here to see you. he won't go away."

the receptionist hung up the phone and went back to his computer. impatient was what Niall was.

"so?" he asked, getting angrier by the second.

"so you better lose your attitude real quick," he looked up at Niall. "Ren will knock ya head off. first second on the left."

Niall shook his head and grunted. he couldn't wait to meet this Soren. He sauntered down the hall with everything he had to say on the the tip of his tongue.

"I need to speak with a Soren Maude," Noah said as he approached the open door.

"that's me," a small brunette with glasses said. she only came up to niall's nose and well, how could he yell at her? "can i help you with something?"

"i uh- um yes," he faltered. "you- you wrote that article about me?"

"yeah," she nodded. "is there a problem?"

"yeah," he nodded, eyebrows furrowed. "what's wrong is that it's complete slander!"

"it's not slander if it's true," she closed a folder in front of her. "and everything i wrote was true. your lyrics are weak. they're overused and repetitive. four albums with the same thing over and over again. your fans are disappointed, Niall."

"you have no right!" he exclaimed. "you don't know anything about my fans!"

"I did research before publishing it," she stood up. "I talked to your fans. i talked to music majors. do you know what makes song great?"

"relatableness and a good hook- my songs have great hooks!"

"no Niall," she closed her door. "a good song makes you feel, it makes you think- you can see yourself in a good song."

"and what makes you so qualified?" Niall asked, eyebrow raised.

"i went to school for this," she looked him up and down. "are you trying to discredit my credentials to make yourself feel better?"

"well I just don't see how someone like you gets to decide what's good and bad," he crossed his arms over his chest.

"someone like me?" she asked. "like a young woman?" she asked. "like my opinion is invalid- tell me, Niall. if this Soren you came looking for was in fact a dude how would you react? very different i presume."

"no that's- that's not true," he stuttered, taking a step back.

"like hell it isn't," she leaned on her desk. "besides you don't even write your own songs anymore so why is it such a big deal? i know it isn't your fault. your team is sticking you with the same image you've been with since you were eighteen but the least you could do is put a little heart into it. put real feelings, emotions. songs are supposed to be relatable but not so much that every song sounds like a boring top forties."

"it's not as easy as you think," he turned away. "it's not like you know anything about the industry anyways. thanks for the bloody great review, i really appreciate it".

"Niall-"

Niall shook his head, heading for the door, slamming the door behind him. the worst part was that everything she said, Niall knew was true.

As Niall mulled over Ren's so boisterous opinion, he found that accepting it was harder than he originally thought.

Niall came to his conclusion a week later. he cried a bit, got angry, got proper pissed drunk and then his mind was clear and made up. he needed to see her.

This time, Niall waited patiently for Ren to return from her lunch break. she came walking in with a tall brown haired lad. they looked awfully close and somewhere deep within Niall, he felt jealous.

"Niall... hi," she greeted here. "who are you here to see?"

"uh you, actually," he stood up. "i was hoping we could talk."

"yeah sure," she nodded. "i actually have some running to do for my boss. want to come?"

"uh i guess," he nodded, a little confused.

"great," she smiled. "let me get my coat."

Ren returned a few minutes later carrying a box. she handed it to Niall and took a bag from the receptionist, who Niall learned was named Jamie.

"let's go," she told him, already waiting for him in the elevator.

Niall noticed how fast Ren was. she was always moving so fast, Niall almost couldn't keep up. almost. he was taken aback by it. she was like a flurry of brown curls and papers. she was a hurricane, personified.

"where are we going?" Niall asked, getting into the passenger seat. he was mildly impressed by the Mercedes she drove.

"we need to go to the post office to drop that box off- bloody Tomlinson can't meet deadlines to save his arse- there's people to do this you know?" she shook her head. "sorry that's off topic- you wanted to talk?"

"right yeah," he nodded, sitting up. "so i wanted to talk about the article you wrote."

"look Niall i won't unpublished it or change it or make a statement," she sigh exasperated. "i meant it and i just refuse to take it back."

"no i know i don't- i don't want you too," he shook his head. "i wanted to talk to you about how i could write better songs? like tips i guess?"

"my opinion shouldn't change what you think about yourself," she furrowed her eyebrows.

"i know it doesn't but like i've been feeling this way for a while, you know? like i've been in this mental block- my music is nothing i'd ever listen to. it's cringy. i want to write meaningful music."

"you don't have substance," she told him. the car pulled to a stop. "you need feelings, emotions. take a word and run with it. brain storm. really dig deep. your biggest fears. a feeling you've had. something that is real- i cant stress that enough. stop singing about the girl you couldn't get and start singing about the way that girl makes you feel. like gut wrenching heart break or love so deep it'll bring tears to your eyes."

Niall nodded, "i think i know what you mean."

"get with some good writers," she encouraged him. "like Julian. he's sick to work in the studio with. he's a friend. i'll ask him about you. don't be afraid to be vulnerable, yeah?"

"okay," Niall nodded. "i'll try.“

hey it's Niall.. i had some lyrics i wanted to run by you, if you're willing?

Ren bit her lip, setting her phone down on the table. did she really wanna get into this?

come by my office around two Ren wrote back hesitantly. she clicked send and held her breath.

"so what are we going for?" Ren asked, sitting up.

"dunno," he chuckled, scratching his neck nervously. "i just wrote down some things."

'Lips so good i forget my name. i swear i could give you everything.'

'i don't need my love baby you can take it. you can break it...'

"i didn't quite finish that thought though," he pointed at the last one.

"s'good," she nodded.

'if tomorrow won't be mine, baby won't you give it to me one last time?'

'I ain't up for debating, Ain't enough for the taking, you got the whole world shaking'

'I keep on holding tight now, cause your body's telling me don't let go'

"these are all really good," Ren nodded, handing him the crumpled piece of paper back. "i really mean it- they could really be something."

"you think?" he asked nervously.

"for sure," she nodded. "i really mean it," she repeated. "here let me- i'll send these to Julian."

"think he'll help?" Niall asked.

Ren nodded with a smile. "his producer Liam is aces."

to Niall: scheduled a session with Julian & a few writers be there or be square

Niall chuckled, shoving his phone back into his pocket. a square was what he wouldn't be.

Wolves. wolves came the easiest. the more he read the lyrics, the more he fell in love with it. recording in the studio was the best feeling in the world. it was coming so easy to him.

as Niall ran through the melody one more time, Jamie called him in to record it one last time. he was certain this would be the best one.

as niall poured his heart out, he hadn't even noticed Ren walk in. only when he stepped out did he notice her. she wasn't in her usual work clothes. she wore a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt but somehow it made her even more irresistible.

"that was amazing," she smiled. "those lyrics are really good- when'd you guys finish?"

"a little while ago," Julian answered. "niall's killing it in here!"

"i got chills!" Ren laughed. she shook Niall by his shoulders. "you gave me chills!"

"so i made you feel then?" he asked, amused.

"yes!" she laughed.

Niall felt pride wash over him. he made her feel.

Niall couldn't stay away no matter how hard he tried because well... after she saw him record, something changed. something within Niall changed. he didn't see her as the girl that wrecked his career, more as the one that opened his eyes.

it seemed that Ren couldn't stay away either. she showed up more and more often at the studio. she encouraged niall and acted like she really wanted to help him. Harry Styles had also popped in quite frequently, helping Niall out. They met while Niall recorded wolves and he offered his advice. Ren and her were good friends through the business. She considered him to be a good friend.

"harry," Ren whispered as Niall recorded the guitar parts.

"hm?" he hummed, sitting back. "what's wrong?"

"i um," she coughed, nervously adjusting her glasses. "i think... i think i may fancy Niall just like a tiny bit."

"you think?" harry asked, eyeing her cautiously.

"like a little bit," she nodded.

"what are we gonna do about this?" harry asked with a chuckle.

"well like he seeked me out for help, you know?" Ren mumbled. she sighed. "he's like billionaire popstar- shags upteen girls a month. he wouldn't-"

"don't finish that sentence," harry warned.

"he wouldn't want a girl like me," she rushed out.

"ren!" he shouted, shoving her.

Niall emerged from the recording room just as Ren laughed against harry. he set his guitar up and sat down next to harry. "what's so funny?"

"Ren is being intolerable," harry rolled his eyes. "see, she fancies this bloke-"

"h, no," she whined, covering her face with her hands.

"she fancies him and doesn't think the feelings are mutual- isn't that a load?" Harry asked.

"definitely," Niall nodded. he looked Ren up and down.  

Ren's face burned red. she shook her head, grabbing her purse off of the table. "right well i've to go- early meeting."

"i'll walk you out," Niall offered, standing up.

the elevator ride down to the first floor was silent Ren felt anxious the whole time. it probably had to do with harry's transparency and her inability to control her embarrassment.

"so i hope you get the whole bloke* thing sorted," Niall told her as they walked towards the doors.

"yeah," she coughed awkwardly. "thanks. me too."

"so big meeting," he commented, nodding.

"right, yeah," she nodded. "you sounded great today."

he smiled, "thanks."

Ren shuffled around her apartment. she balanced a glass of wine in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other. she tucked her phone under her chin, heading for the living room. the buzzer rang maker her curse.

she set her things down and pushed the intercom. "yeah?"

muffled, "its Niall."

Ren, furrowed her eyebrows and unlocked the door. "come on up."

Ren paused the television and unlocked her door. when Niall knocked, she took a moment to breath. she opened the door with a smile. "hey."

"oh am i- am i interrupting?" Niall asked, eyes widening like he hadn't even thought of it.

"no no just r and r, come in," Ren opened the door for him to come in.

"want some wine?" she asked, offering him her glass.

"ah no," Niall chuckled. "i drove.. but um i was- have you been online lately?"

"as in..." Ren trailed off.

"as in have you googled either me or you in the last *hm twenty four hours?" he asked, sitting down across from her.

"um no," she raised an eyebrow. "should i?"

"no uh definitely not!" he rushed out. "just- there have been a few reports of things between us as more than just colleagues."

colleagues. ouch.

"oh," she replied quietly.

"i didn't want you to get freaked out or anything my PR. they needed a story i guess," he shrugged. "i just wanted to clear things up and i hope this didn't mess anything up with that bloke of yours."

"oh no..." she trailed off. "it didn't quite work out."

"that's shite," he frowned empathetically.

"yeah..." she sighed, sitting up. "so was there something else or..."

"no that's it," he smiled. "sorry for dropping by so late i was just worried."

"yeah s'fine," she nodded. "i've a show to watch so."

"right yeah," he nodded. "and thanks so much for hooking me up with Julian and Harry. they're brill."

"yeah," she forced out a smile.

and something about it sounded suspiciously like a goodbye which maybe she wasn't exactly ready for. she frowned as he left. how could a person be so oblivious?

it was the American Music Awards. this was important- for The Rolling Stone. they sent Ren on the red carpet to snag some words from a few newer faces. it was fun. it gave Ren an excuse to dress up and drink champagne that was way too expensive.

Ren saw Niall down the other end of the carpet. he looked amazing. Ren frowned, looking away. Louis nudged her and scolded her with a look. she sighed. "sorry."

"look there's Andra Day," he pointed to her. "she'd have a few words to say."

Ren approached her with a warm smile and a hand shake. "I'm Ren and this is Louis. we're from rolling stone mag and i was wondering...."

Niall was making his way through the interviews and photos. he saw Ren when he least expected it. all train of thought was lost. Ren laughed, squeezing Charlie Puth's shoulder. he narrowed his eyes. of all people.

Charlie pulled Ren in for a hug. he rubbed her back in a way that wasn't exactly as platonic as he'd hoped. Niall remembers the charlie puth article well. she raved about his melodies and the riffs- the riffs. she just loved his riffs. if you asked Niall, his music was only alright.

Janice nudged Niall and shook her head disapprovingly. "Niall cut it out."

"just look at them!" he scoffed. Niall shook his head. "disgusting- he's always jumping on the next girl."

"it doesn't matter," Janice, told him, voice stern. "you can't date. especially not her."

"and what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed. the fact that Ren has a higher IQ than most of the girls he's dated said a lot to Niall. she was different.

"she's got virtually no status, babe," Janice shook her head. "you don't need that."

"so all you care about is what makes money?" Niall asked. "really? it's been five years and you can't-can't even throw me this bone."

"money is first- always," she fluffed his hair and sent him down to the next interviewer that was waiting.

Ren was sat two tables to the left of Niall. the table was handpicked because no way would Liam, Harry and Niall have been put together by chance.

Ren shook her head. Louis laughed, handing her his glass of champagne. "y'alright?"

"look at him, Louis. flirting with Selena gomez," she shook her head again.

"it's called being friendly," Louis told her, sitting up. "and don't freak out. nothing's certain."

"except the fact that they're leaving together tonight," Ren scoffed, putting her phone down.

Louis continued to watch Selena and Niall. it looked friendly. if there was some sort of attraction, you could tell. Louis shrugged. he stirred his water, watching the rest of Niall's table. Liam was talking on the phone completely ignoring everything.

“Let’s go say hi,” Louis suggested. He’d worked with each of them two so they were well acquainted.

Harry greeted Ren with a kiss on the cheek and shook Louis’s hand. He immediately dove into a story about who he’d seen with way too much detail.

"ren," a voice interrupted them. ren internally rolled her eyes.

she looked up and smiled. "hi."

"you look amazing," Niall said, standing up. he hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

"thanks," she replied, stepping back. "anyways harry are we still on for brunch tomorrow?" Ren asked.

"of course," he grinned.

"Harry and i always have brunch after these things. he helps me do best and worst dressed for my blog," Ren smiled. "actually Louis you should come. it's hilarious. We've made bets on who it'd be. I say Taylor momden but Harry says Gaga- but she looks amazing in everything- even the meat dress."

"Right," harry laughed. "who do you say?"

"i gotta say my girl Mariah," Louis shook his head. "she's my queen but no."

"brunch tomorrow?" Niall asked.

"wanna come?" Harry asked him. "it's a lot of fun."

"sounds ace," he smiled. Ren cringed.

Ren dreaded brunch. she purposely invited louis because she knew harry and Louis got on well and he was an absolute riot. now she felt like harry was plotting against her and Ren didn't quite like that feeling.

Ren and Louis were the first ones there. She ordered a coffee, and shifted in her seat. “god i hate harry," Ren shook her head. "Niall just dropped me you know? as soon as i gave him the smallest info he was like great thanks but i don't really need to talk to you anymore- if he even tries it i swear."

"what are you gonna do?" louis asked. "blush and look away- don't fool yourself Ren."

Ren rolled her eyes at Louis. She pulled her ipad out as Harry sat down. Harry sent Ren a bright smile. she rolled her eyes at him.

"cheer up, buttercup," harry grinned.

"i'm angry at you," she muttered.

"why?" he laughed.

"you invited Niall!" she cried. "you know my feelings on that situation."

"he wanted to come," harry defended himself. "would you have told him no?"

"yes," ren huffed. "louis here is special so i invited him. he's got sass and i feel like i need to write something with sass."

"everything you write has sass," Harry snorted. "and that's not an exaggeration."

"figures he'd be late, though." Ren rolled her eyes. "typical snobby pop star."

"heyyy," harry frowned.

"no you're different," Ren promised him. "your a nice genuine human being that didn't lose himself in fame. you're you. it's refreshing."

"what's refreshing?" Niall asked, greeting them. he smiled brightly.

"harry," Ren shrugged. "he's a genuine human being. it's refreshing to meet one of those."

"yeah i know what you mean," Niall agreed. "it is refreshing."

Ren looked away, smiling at louis. she breathed out a sigh feeling the tension settle over them.

"right so best dressed?" Louis asked, setting them all back on to the task at hand.

"right," ren nodded. "so you've all got best dressed people?"

Niall nodded as did harry. "what if they're not celebrities per say?"

"then what are they?" Ren asked, leaning forward.

"well i mean..." he trailed off, setting his phone on the table.

It was a photo of Ren from the back. her head was turned only slightly. her dress flowed down effortlessly much like her brunette curls.

Ren sat back, shock settling in. "me?"

Niall nodded. "yeah."

Louis and harry exchanged a look. Niall stared into Ren's eyes. she looked away too quick for him to read her eyes.

"right well i can't exactly vote meself as best dressed," she chuckled nervously, looking away.

Niall smiled watching as she became flustered. she nervously tapped on the ipad until Louis offered his opinion.

Ren would totally take the piss for this later from louis.

"Niall Horan has had a rough couple of months. Rolling stone magazines, Soren Maude tore him a new one right after his newest album, Take Me home was released. According to a source Soren and Niall continued to work together especially on this song. here's your exclusive first listen to Niall Horan's newest single! here's his newest sound, Wolves."

Ren's eyes widened as the first riff came across the radio. she was shook. Niall's voice was clear and bright and everything she didn't know she needed. Niall's new sound was transforming right before her eyes and the thing was, it was all because of her.

Ren'a phone rang making her jump. she grabbed it off of the table, answering. "hello?"

"Ren!" a voice shouted. "Turn on the radio!"

"i am i am!" she yelled.

"doesn't he sound amazing!" harry exclaimed.

he really does, ren thought and it was the purest thought she's had all day. Ren smiled to herself. she was proud of Niall.

Niall opened his door. the delivery man handed him a large basket filled with fruit, cheese, wine, and a t-shirt. it had a card stuck to it: congratulations!! he furrowed his eyebrows. "who's this from?"

the delivery man looked down at his sheet. "uh it says The Rolling Stone!”

Niall smiled. "thanks a lot."

Ren had just returned back to the office after meeting up with Charlie Puth. they first met a few months ago and he offered to take her out for lunch. how could she resist?

it's like Niall just knew. he knew when Ren was moved on. it was the only reasonable explanation why he was even there. media caught wind and Niall had to be the first one to tell her why it's a bad idea.

"is the boy Charlie?" Niall asked, following Ren into her office.

"no," she replied hesitantly. "why?"

"because you went to lunch with him," Niall stated plainly. "i don't think you should hang out with him."

"and why not?" ren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"because he's... he's got a record, Ren. he talks to like a million girls and he's not quiet about it. you'll end up plastered on his twitter page by the time you wake up."

"you don't even know what you're talking about," Ren huffed. "it was business and i told you the thing with the bloke fizzled out."

"yeah but i know you don't give up that easily," he smiled. "besides i just- Charlie Puth?"

"What i hate more than someone telling me who i can't see is someone that thinks they're entitled to dictate my life," Ren turned around. "Niall don't start with me."

"i'm just looking out for you!" he cried, sitting down, exasperated.

"no," Ren shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "if you can parade Selena Gomez around than i can do whatever the hell with whoever the hell i want."

"Ren that's not even- it's not the same," he shook his head. "you don't understand."

"you're right i don't!" she laughed humorlessly. "i don't understand why you think you have a right to tell me who i can or can't date or see or whatever."

"fine but don't say i didn't warn you," Niall stood up.

'spotted! Charlie Puth and writer Soren Maude getting cozy in a sweet NYC cafe. Bye Bye Bella! Could Soren be Charlie's next GF?'

a source close to soren says that the two have been getting pretty close after she wrote an article about him last fall. the source also says that Soren expects this to get really serious really soon! Now nothing's confirmed but if Charlie's tweets are anything to go by, we should expect a confirmation soon! we look forward to seeing more of these two!

Ren clenched her jaw, tossing her phone down onto her bed. this had Niall written all over it.

so niall was called into his managements office early the next morning. he was a bit weary granted he leaked some information to the media- it wasn't exactly true but nonetheless.

Niall hesitantly sat down. Janice and Dane, along with the rest of his team stared at him as he situated himself.

"glad you could join us," Janice raised an eyebrow. "so you've been busy, huh?"

"look it wasn't- i didn't plan on doing it," he mumbled.

"i could care less about that bloody article," she huffed. "the real problem is that we miscalculated- big time."

"erm what?" Niall asked, confused as to what was going on.

"it seems that soren is a very prominent figure in the media world- her social media has nearly sixty thousand followers and she tweets about real stuff like the syrian refugees and- and global news. she's socially aware and as we try to strengthen your image, Soren is the way to go."

"Janice is right," Dane nodded. "you don't have many friends or even people you could say are on your side so an in with Rolling Stone would do wonders for you."

"soren and i aren't really talking right now," Niall told them. he shook his head becoming frustrated with himself all over again.

"make it work, do you hear me?" Janice warned. "your image is vital for your next album coming up. your single was perceived well but it was the one that would make the most money. if Soren writes a good review than we're set."

"but she won't," niall corrected her. "no matter if we're friends or not, she cares about music. if my music sucks she won't tell the world it's good. she isn't like that."

"then we'll just have to make her do it," Janice shrugged.

"you're gonna pay me how much to write a good review on him?" Ren asked, eyes wide.

"Niall's image is important. you write this review and the media will get off your back, simple as that," Janice shrugged.

holy hell, ren thought. desperateness lingered in the air. Ren momentarily thought about abandoning her values for that lump sum. Ren left undecided and distraught. what was more important?

Ren set her tablet down on the table and anxiously clicked her pen. needless to say, Ren's boss all but forced her into it. She threatened to give Louis Ren's job.

Niall sat down across from her. he smiled. "hey."

"i'm still pissed at you," Ren told him. "but i'm being forced to do this so it's whatever. let's just get this over with."

"okay," he nodded, shifting in his seat.

Ren clicked the voice recorder on and propped it on the table. she sighed heavily, rereading the questions that were  prewritten for her.

"so with a new album coming out, you've also decided on a new sound. how do you describe this new sound?" Ren asked.

"Well a good friend of mine pushed me to really challenge myself with the writing. she inspired me to use my real emotions not just the ones i thought people wanted to hear. I really owe it all to her because over the years i'd lost my love for writing almost giving up completely and now i have a lot to be thankful for."

Ren sat up and clicked the recorder off. "seriously cut the crap."

"it's not crap. it's the truth," he replied, tone biting.

"you do talk some shit don't you Horan," she shook her head. ren turned the recorder back on and sighed.

"so fans have been dying to know about the inspiration behind these songs? are they just from feelings or real life experiences or what's going on there?" Ren asked.

"quite a few of them are based on real situations i've been in though i can't reveal any names yet. I think the biggest inspiration behind this album is the concept of home, you know? like as i travel and move from place to place there's no where that really feels like home anymore and thorough these songs i don't know they just- they feel like home."

and wow. Ren wasn't expecting that. she begrudgingly felt herself become more and more captivated by him. Ren mentally cursed himself because this wasn't supposed to happen.

"right," she breathed out. "so how do you think your fans- or really anyone that listens to the album will react?"

"good hopefully," Niall chuckled. "i've poured everything into this album so i'm really nervous to see how people respond."

Ren rolled her eyes as she read the next question to herself. "fans have been going crazy over photos of you and Selena gomez last month. any juicy details you wanna share?"

"no," he chuckled. "Sel and i are good friends. we collabed last year and got to know each other. she's a really great singer- amazing vocals."

Ren sighed again. "so there's been a small leak with a few of your songs how d'you feel?"

"i actually had no idea," he laughed. "but wow first i'd like to know how?"

ren shook her head. "really couldn't tell ya."

Niall reached forward and clicked he voice recorded off. he raised an eyebrow at her. "what's wrong?"

"these questions are shite!" she exclaimed. "this is clearly only a pr stunt. i cant- i'm sorry i cant write this."

"it's not that bad," he shrugged.

"i write for the rolling stone, Niall," she shook her head. "if this gets published like it's a gossip magazine then everyone's in trouble."

"well it is a Pr stunt," he clarified. "and this falls back on both of our managers."

"no," she sat up. ren turned the voice recorder on and opened a new page in her notebook. "in a past interview you mentioned that a lot of your music was inspired by classics like The eagles, Fleetewood mack, sinatra- why do you sing pop which is clearly the opposite of them?"

Niall chuckled wryly. "right so those are really who i grew up listening to and i guess i've always had dreams of becoming someone like them not necessarily being exactly who they are and i guess Pop is where i can succeed."

"okay," Ren smiled. "so do you have any advice for someone just starting out?"

Niall smiled. "the Industry is hard to break into so the most important thing to remember is don't give up. someone believes in you even if it doesn't seem like it. usually it gets harder before it gets better but it's all worth it when you get to do what you love."

"is this what you love?" ren asked. "i mean there have been times where you've felt discouraged? where it almost seemed like you'd give up?"

"yeah, actually," he cleared his throat. he sat up. "this happened about two years ago my mum she lost her battle to leukemia and it was probably the hardest thing i've ever gone through," he shook his head. "when she was gone it seemed like there wasn't a reason. for life. she was my world, you know? but as time went on i found that life got easier."

"you never- songs never came from that?" Ren asked.

Niall gave her a look. "my team said it wouldn't sell."

"so most of your career has been dictated by what would sell?" Ren asked.

Niall sighed, "you know you can't publish any of this right?"

ren shrugged. "just maybe i will. now answer the question."

"then yes. i'd say the sound i have now is mine- like properly mine. i wrote with some really amazing people and i guess basically i've produced this on my own without my team breathing down the neck. from the singles to-to the artwork, it's all really mine."

"so music is obviously your life..." she nodded.

"right," he agreed.

"but will there ever be a day that you just decide this isn't for me anymore? will you ever want to settle down and stay out of the lime light?"

"yeah of course," he nodded. "i probably won't quit altogether because performing is what i really love. i think a quiet life would be nice but only if i've got someone. it'd be nice with someone else but not alone."

"alright," ren breathed out. she turned her recorder off and slipped it into her purse. "thanks- i think i can make a proper article out of this now."

"ren please don't do anything to destroy my career," he gave her a worried look.

"i will consult my boss and he'll let me know what's acceptable. your people didn't blacklist anything so as far i'm concerned, it's their arses i'm burning."

"okay," he laughed. "stay for lunch?"

"i uh can't," she gave him an apologetic smile. "i've prior engagements but by all means let Rolling Stone pick up the tab."

"thats the least of my worries," he chuckled. "but thanks."

Niall's jaw clenched as he saw the photos of Charlie and Soren walking around new york. it wasn't fair. he angrily clicked through the pictures only stopping when he came across one of the two kissing, clearly unaware of the paparazzi snapping photos.

something's gotta give now.

as it turns out the only reason his team set up their interview was to get photos of them together. Niall was almost as mad at Ren.

so now, Ren was caught it this messy love triangle created by the media. Niall's fans boarded her twitter with all sorts of responses. it was then that she decided this wasn't gonna work.

"we have to talk," Ren announced as she walked into the recording studio. Liam, Julian, Harry and Niall all blinked at her like she was crazy.

it wasn't proper recording etiquette to barge in like this. is really messed with the flow which ren could honestly care less about.

"ren we're recording," liam told her. "well about to- you're really disrupting the creative process."

ren set an article from the sun down in front of Niall. "this has got to stop."

"what?" Niall asked.

'Soren Maude has been making waves with all sorts of boys the past month. she's been spotted with both Charlie Puth and Niall Horan in span of two hours. will she be our next Taylor Swift?! We've got our eye on you Soren! Ladies hide you man because she's not stopping now!'

Niall frowned, "well i can see where the problem lies now."

"the fact that i am dating neither of you. the fact that they're using my assumed sexuality as grounds for humiliation?" she cried. "does any of it make sense! no!"

"you're not dating Charlie?" Niall asked.

"no!" she cried. "i've told you over and over. i'm helping him with a song he's working on."

"so let's figure out how to get you out of this then," Niall nodded.

"how about..." Ren pulled her phone out and went straight to twitter.

'just a little disclaimer, i'm not dating. either way it doesn't constitute for scrutiny'

'a female can sleep with as many blokes or women she wants!!! it's not the medias job to scold us!!!!'

ren shoved her phone into her pocket. "there."

"okay well that was very poorly handled," Niall sighed. "my team was using you."

"using me? for what?" Ren asked, affronted.

"they thought that my name circulating with charlie's would be like good for business or something," he shrugged. "and they wanted me to go along with it- i refused but like now they're gonna be pissed."

"this is just unbelievable!" she exclaimed.

"o-okay," Harry stood up. "air?" he asked. "lets go walk it off, yeah?"

Ren shook her head, anger coursing through her. She loathed the industry. it's like being a woman meant being a walking target. being used!! like she's an object!!!

Harry guided Ren out the door. she shook her head, "harry I'm pissed. i'm so pissed. do you understand what's going on? i'm like- i'm * fuming!"

"i know," harry nodded. "i get it. it's frustrating but you can't change it. no one can. you just have to accept it because at the end of the day who you think you are can only be changed by those who affect you."

"okay shut it, harold," Ren huffed, looking away. "what do you know."

"a heck of a lot, actually," he chuckled. "just try to relax."

"i can't relax!" ren shouted.

"why does fake dating Niall hurt so much?" harry asked, confused. "like i don't understand why you're freaking out so much."

"because like- he'd never go for me, Harry," ren shook her head. "and now it just confirms that because i see the way he is. he doesn't want me, Harry. His fans definitely don't either so it being out there is just complete shite."

"you don't know that!" harry cried. "you have to tell him."

"i cant," she pulled away. "no way. ever. Niall can't know i fancy him."

Niall emerged from behind the big black doors of the recording room. He gave Ren a smile. "i talked to janice and things are... what's going on?"

"nothing," ren sighed. "i'm- im going."

"wait no," Niall grabbed Ren's hand. his eyes softened as he looked down at her. "what's wrong?"

"boy troubles," Harry answered for her. he shook his head empathetically.

"anything i can help with?" Niall asked, rubbing his thumb over Ren's knuckles. "you look really upset."

"no it's-it's nothing," Ren breathed out. "i'm fine. i just need some sleep and-and a glass of wine."

Niall nodded, "you'll text me if you need something, yeah?"

"i guess," she nodded, brows furrowed. "why're you being so nice to me? i just ruined your pr stunt and yelled at you."

Niall shrugged, "PR always fixes itself and well... you always yell at me. you don't mean anything by it."

"okay," ren replied quietly. she was still confused because here they were, Niall holding her hand. they were crossing the lines. Ren specifically draws lines and it was completely unfair that he-he just crosses them as if they don't even exist.

"and i think if this bloke, whoever he is doesn't recognize how amazing you are, than he definitely isn't worth it," Niall told her. he dropped her hand and smiled softly.

the irony. ren only hummed in response and muttered a quiet "thanks."

"so text me okay?" Niall asked, taking a couple steps back toward the doors. "i really mean it."

ren nodded, turning away. she let out a heavy sigh, slumping against the wall as Niall disappeared back inside. harry squeezed her hand and frowned empathetically. "text him."

Ren wound up at Louis's tiny apartment in Brooklyn. she was deeply distraught over the weird night she was having. Louis always knew how to cheer her up.

Louis opened the door and greeted her with a big hug. she relaxed against him, breathing out a deep sigh.

"everything okay?" Louis asked, smoothing her hair out. he rubbed her back, letting her hug him.

Ren pulled away only when his cat, Winston rubbed against her leg. she picked him up, kissing him on the head.

"i'm okay," she replied quietly.

"harry texted me," Louis told her, getting two wine glasses out of his cupboard. "says Niall did a number on you today."

"he held my hand, louis," she cried, setting winston down. "what does it mean?"

"like how'd he hold it?" louis asked, pouring her a glass of wine.

"like harry said i had some stuff going on and i said i was fine and then i tried to go but he grabbed my hand he rubbed my knuckles and proceeded to hold my hand for like two whole minutes."

"that's a tough one," louis nodded. "he really did wanna hold your hand, though. i think he was trying to like break the boundaries, you know? like you guys have always been pretty professional so maybe he wanted to show you he was interested without kissing you or something."

"no Louis," she replied quietly. she sipped her wine. "don't give me false hope."

Ren was seated right next to Niall at the showing for Harry's new movie Dunkirk. she was upset about it and somehow she thought it was the workings of Harry himself.

"you look great," Niall told her, looking her up and down.

"thanks," Ren smiled. she looked away. louis squeezed her hand reassuringly.  

"okay?" Louis asked.

"perfect," she replied dryly.

Niall leaned forward, looking at ren. "guess what."

"what?" she asked, crossing her legs. she smoothed her dress out and tried not to focus too much on the way Niall looked at her.

"janice talked to your boss. next year when i tour, you're coming with me," he told her.

"um what?" Ren asked.

"it's part of a miniseries where about me and touring and the fans- it'll be so good," Niall smiled. "i'm really excited."

"no one even thought to consult me?" she asked. "like it's my career not hers, not yours. i don't even get a say?"

"i figured you'd be okay with it," Niall replied quietly. "i mean if you don't want to then we can cancel, i guess."

"that's not the point!" she exclaimed. "it's my life you're messing with. don't you have any consideration. i don't want to work with you, alright? it was a mistake to do it in the first place."

Niall winced. "ouch."

"look i don't think you get it," she sat up. "i cant work with you because... because."

the lights went down and the opening credits started. Ren mentally cursed, sitting back in her seat. she lost her chance.

"ren," Niall whispered, tapping her on the shoulder.

"shhhh!"

ren shook her head. "not now."

instead of focusing on the movie, all Ren could do was think about telling Niall. it was a pure moment of weakness because as the lights came back on she felt fear more than anything as Niall looked at her expectantly.

"no i can't tell you," ren took a step back. "i'm sorry i-"

Ren couldn't do it. she was overwhelmed by Niall's big blue eyes. she shook her head stepping back again. "i'm sorry," she repeated before heading for the door.

Ren really didn't know what she got herself into. She didn't know how much longer she could act normal as she fell for Niall more and more with each passing day.

Ren all but blocked Niall from her life only turning towards his music for comfort which she really wasn't proud of.

the fall rolled around and soon enough Niall's album was out on full display. just listening to it, Ren's heart broke. he sang about heart break and love and home and things he wished he had. some songs brought tears to her eyes because she did that. she inspired that and she pushed that away.

Ren felt the self loathing coming on as she rolled out of bed. all of the thoughts were jumbled around in her head. her migraine was excruciating. the rain pounded down on the windows. Ren frowned, pulling a clean cup out of her cupboard. she turned the kettle on and slumped down in a chair.

Ren clicked through her notifications. she found twitter to be annoying these days. her follower count has gone up but the many of them are just dying for her to tweet someone even remotely related to Niall.

Ren shook her head, setting her phone down. she poured herself a cup of tea and started to get ready for her day. she had meetings lined up from nine up until seven when she could finally leave.

Ren flipped through her wardrobe only settling when she found a t-shirt dress that would come across dressy but in reality she could care less. Ren threw on a jean jacket and a pair of boots and deemed herself presentable.

and so it began.

the lot of Ren's meetings focused upon her image which was annoying. Her boss, Louise wouldn't let it go. especially after her blow up with niall- in front of a lot of important people.

Ren drug her feet all day. she sat through HR meetings and tech meetings and lectures about what good interview etiquette was. apparently co-writers were spotted getting friendly with a few of their sources.

Ren all but cried when she got into her car. it was definitely one of the hardest days of her life for some reason. Louis begged her to come out but Harry had already asked to look over some songs with her.

reluctantly, ren agreed. she brought louis along because really, life is hard without her person with her.

Ren nearly collapsed on harry's couch. she whined at harry to take her shoes off of her aching feet. harry with a roll of his eyes agreed.

only then did she realize that harry wasn't alone. Niall emerged from the bathroom, greeting her with a bright smile. "long time no see, eh? how's things?"

"fine," ren sat upright. she cleared her throat awkwardly, smoothing her dress out. "and with you?"

"good," Niall nodded. "will i see you at the album release party tomorrow?"

"dunno i might have plans or something," she shrugged.

"lies," louis shook his head. "we'll be there."

"sick!" he grinned. "i'll mark you two down."

Ren knew one day eventually she'd thank louis and harry for their interjections but right now, she was beyond aggravated with them.

"so here's a few songs i've been working on," harry handed her a couple of papers. "let me know what you think."

Ren read them over trying to forget how intensely niall was staring at her. it was distracting and Ren was sure her face was deceiving her as a hot blush made its way over her.

Ren shifted in her seat. Niall watched her.

"so these are good," ren nodded. "i really like the vibe you've got going on- little bit of heartbreak, little bit of john mayer. it works."

"thanks," harry smiled.

and niall thought it was so interesting how everyone around Ren just seeked her approval. he was a little curious and somehow proud because well... he didn't really know why. Niall got her approval sometimes and that made him proud too. with harry it seemed a bit different because he was much more experienced than Niall and he seemed more put together but as it turns out, Ren keeps people put together.

"what'd you study in uni?" Niall asked before he had time to stop himself.

"i studied journalism with a minor in songwriting. i ended up getting my bachelors in it a few years ago," ren nodded. "so i do know a little bit about music."

"i never knew that," he replied quietly. "so like you could potentially have a career song writing?"

"i guess," ren shrugged. "i would never, though. because writing is really what i love."

Niall nodded. "okay."

"so how about some drinks?" Harry asked, standing up.

"i'll have a red!" Ren replied almost immediately.

"do you have any white?" louis asked, sitting up. "red gives me nightmares."

harry laughed, nodding. He went to the kitchen to start the drinks.

"i'll help harry," Ren stood up. "Niall, a drink?"

"a beer is fine," he smiled, nodding. he watched Ren walk away flustered. she shook her head as she walked into the kitchen.

louis laughed, shaking his head. "i swear some things don't change. Ren was a proper nerd in high school. couldn't talk to blokes to save her life. even now."

"so who's the boy?" Niall asked, raising an eyebrow.

"ah," Louis laughed. "the million dollar question. i won't spill her secrets."

"is it someone I know?" Niall asked. "so i can make sure he stays the hell away from her."

louis let out a strangled groan, rubbing his face. "i can't tell. she'll kill me. i'm sorry."

"well if you tell me than i can promise you that you'll have harry wrapped around your little finger by the end of this month," Niall raised an eyebrow.

Louis was torn. he stood up. "a drink, Niall?"

Niall laughed, "come on!"

louis chuckled, sitting down. "Ren is special especially to me. she- she needs to do this on her own because like this bloke she likes is very special to her and her finally saying who it is would be like her overcoming a fear or obstacle or something. Ren needs this to better herself in a way."

"yeah but... she's so vague about it," Niall shrugged. "and i just don't see why it's a big deal if I know. you know and harry knows and even liam knows. i know we're not like best friends but i don't get why it has to be a big secret- oh." Niall's eyes widened.

Louis's eyes widened too- his in fear for what Ren would do to him. "Niall you can't- i didn't tell you! i did not utter those words to you, do you hear me?"

"she..." Niall trailed off. "i didn't think- i didn't think she fancied me. she's so standoffish sometimes and it really messes with me but fuck, louis. do you know what this means?"

"that i'm absolutely dead," Louis cried. "that i'll never get my person. that Ren will kill me before i even get to fall in love!"

"no!" Niall laughed, sitting up. "everything's gonna work out!"

Ren and Harry came back seconds later. Ren handed Niall his drink and sat back down across from him. Harry handed Louis his with a wink. (louis was melting)

"so what did i miss?" Harry asked, settling back in his seat.

"nothing much," Niall shrugged. "louis and i chatted about the album party."

"yeah?" harry asked. "should i bring a present?"

"for what?" Niall laughed.

"dunno," harry shrugged. "congratulations? i like to give gifts."

"gifts aren't necessary but i appreciate the thought," Niall smiled. "just bring yourself and i'll be thrilled."

"are you excited for the party?" louis asked, sitting up. "heard Beyoncé's gonna be there."

"yeah she is," Niall chuckled. "she's a good friend. i stayed with her and drake a few years ago. they're fuckin wild."

Ren finished her glass of wine and stood up, heading back into the kitchen. she came back with the bottle this time and promptly sat back down.

"rough day," harry explained.

Ren shook her head, "you've no idea."

"everything alright?" Niall asked.

"did you know that ignorant newly hired employees have caused lots and lots of pain for our office," Ren shook her head. "because of the habitual flirting, HR has decided that the sexual relations between interviewers and interviewees has been banned and so we sat through a three hour seminar on why it should be banned."

"so like... anyone you've ever interviewed?" Niall asked. "like you couldn't shag someone you interviewed."

"arse if i know," Ren shrugged, pouring another glass of wine. "i was watching netflix as the stupid bloke went over it."

"and apparently my image is hurting magazine sales," ren shook her head. she paused, chugging the glass of wine. "and so i've been put on temporary leave until things settle down."

"i had no idea..." Niall trailed off. "my team... they... it wasn't supposed to hurt you."

"well it did," she shrugged, pouring the last of the wine into her glass. she frowned, shaking her head. "the hell, harry? it's gone."

"i think that's enough anyways," Harry nodded. "remember what we talked about?"

"oh bugger off!" Ren shouted, leaning back.  "i can drink as much as i very well please."

"yes well i was informed that you didn't want to embarrass yourself tonight," harry raised an eyebrow. "or did you just lie?"

"i don't bloody care!" ren cried. "i'm nearly fired, the boy i fancy barely even looks at me, my mum refuses to talk to me, what have i got to lose?"

Harry sighed, "ren."

ren finished her last glass of wine and grabbed her purse off of the table. "lou grab my shoes. i'll drive you home."

"no way in hell are you driving," louis stood up. he took her keys from her and tossed them to harry. "sit down, we're gonna be here for a long time."

"louis!" she whined stomping her feet. "i just wanna go home."

"i'll-i'll drive you," Niall stood up.

"no!" ren whined, trying to push him away.

Niall sighed. he picked Ren up, throwing her over his shoulder. he grabbed her shoes and her purse and headed for the door.

"let me go!" Ren shouted, kicking her feet. "everyone's gonna see me bum!"

Niall shook his head, opening the front door. "i'm taking you home."

"how do i know you won't kidnap me?" ren asked, voice softer.

"i promise," Niall told her. he set her down next to the passenger side of her car. he unlocked the door with an arm wrapped around her waist partly because he didn't trust her, and party because it was way too much fun to make Ren blush.

Niall buckled Ren in and closed the door. she looked angry but maybe it was just because Niall had taken her liberties away for two seconds.

Niall got in the car and sighed. "where do you live?"

"not telling," ren turned away, lips curling into a smile.

Niall laughed, "Ren, tell me."

"i forget," she shrugged, still smiling.

"you're not even drunk enough to forget," he laughed. "tell me."

"just drive and i'll tell you," Ren told him.

"i don't believe you but fine," he laughed, starting the car.

needless to say, ren was hungry so was it really her fault that she got her house and mcdonald's mixed up?

Niall shook his head, laughing. "ren this is mcdonald's."

she gasped, unbuckling her seatbelt. "what? i was almost positive this was my apartment."

"your hungry?" Niall asked.

Ren nodded, sitting up. she smiled so eagerly that like Niall couldn't possibly say no. Niall chuckled. "very well."

for a brief moment it felt like this was what he was meant to be doing. and then Niall felt a pang of sadness hit him because the chances of this happening were slim.

"you have to put your shoes on," Niall told her, handing her shoes.

ren rolled her eyes, begrudgingly taking them. "don't boss me around, alright?"

"whatever you say," Niall chuckled.

Niall and ren walked into Mcdonalds a few moments later. he thought for sure they'd be recognized. then they were.

"can i have two number ones, uh extra fries," Niall ordered. "ren what do you want?"

Ren laughed, leaning against the counter. "funny."

"no," Niall laughed. "uh also a chocolate milkshake, a large soda and hm... ren anything special you'd like?"

"i want a chocolate milk," she straightened up, smiling.

"how old are you," Niall asked, eyebrow raised.

"i'm twenty six!" she cried. "twenty six year olds and everyone can enjoy chocolate milk!"

"whatever you say," he laughed.

"what's this stigma with chocolate milk?" ren asked. "anyone over the age of seven is ostracized?"

Niall laughed, "for a second i was fooled that you were actually sober but now i'm not so sure."

ren rolled her eyes at him. "i need to call Louis."

"why?" Niall asked.

"to tell him where i'm at. i'm sure he's wondering why in the hell you've kidnapped me," ren shook her head. "he's gonna be pissed."

"the only one pissed is you," he laughed, taking her phone. he shoved it into his pocket. "we're gonna eat and then i'll take you home."

"sir, your order is ready," the cashier said, pointing to the food on the counter. "was there anything else you needed?"

"no i think we're good," Niall smiled. "thanks though."

"no problem," he smiled.

"and hey, i uh i saw you taking some photos just- don't post them for a while, yeah?" Niall asked.

"oh i uh- okay," he nodded.

"thanks," Niall smiled, handing ren the empty cup (as she was begging to hold something)

Niall knew he rags would get their hands on this and somehow he really didn't care. he knew ren would but that was just a problem to worry about tomorrow.

sure enough, when Niall woke up the next morning, their faces were plastered on the sun. Niall couldn't find it in himself to be bothered by it.  

Ren looked more drunk than he realized as they walked into the restaurant. there were some good photos, he wouldn't lie. most of them was Ren hanging off of Niall or ren stealing Niall's food or Ren falling as they tried to leave.

ren rolled over, eyebrows furrowed. she smelled like fast food. for a moment she was confused before the events of last night came rushing back to her.

louis sat down next to Ren and chuckled. he leaned over and pulled a french fry out of her hair. "rough night?"

"just tell me how bad it is," Ren mumbled, pulling the sheets up to her chin.

"well," louis pulled her phone out. "i found it to be very endearing- Niall did too however the general public thinks it was hm unclassy? trashy? not cute."

"well i had a bad day," ren grumbled.

"fixed it," louis announced with a smile.

'bad days make for even drunker nights LOL soz.'

"wow you handled that with grace and nonchalance," ren snorted, sitting up. "oh bloody hell. niall's party is tonight isn't it?"

"it is," louis laughed. "and we're going now get up you've a meeting today."

"with who?" ren asked. "i got fired."

"you got fired?" louis asked, confused.

"well after last night i'm pretty sure i've been deemed unfit to represent the magazine," Ren shrugged.

"well it's with niall's producer, Liam and the sales director," Louis shrugged. "dunno. the meetings in a couple hours. shower yourself you smell like fast food."

Ren grunted, getting out of bed. "you're a really great friend, Lou."

"thanks peaches," he kissed her on the head. he frowned, pulling another french fry out of her messy curls. "seriously, ren did you bath in them last night?"

Ren laughed, "i wouldn't be surprised, honestly."

"so you are credited with helping Niall with six songs?" Jim, sales director asked.

"yeah i guess," ren nodded.

"yeah there was Wolves, Where do broke hearts go, erm Olivia, Never enough, Girl Almighty, and Better than words."

"right," Ren nodded. "yeah six."

"so here i have your royalties," Jim said, handing her a very large check. "i just need you to sign this paper stating that you've indeed received them and from here on out we can't be held accountable for the money."

"um okay," ren replied dumbly, she sighed the paper hesitantly.

Liam gave her a smile, "ya alright?"

"uh yeah," she chuckled. "i just- i didn't expect this."

"enjoy," Liam smiled. "go on a vacation. treat yourself."

"i think i just might," Ren chuckled. "thanks so much."

"no problem," Liam smiled. "will i see you tonight?"

"uh maybe," she shrugged. "dunno if Niall wants to be seen with me after last night."

"oh please," liam chuckled. "trust me, it's funny more than anything. don't worry about it. people will forget about it by next week. come. it'd mean a lot to niall."

"yeah i might," ren nodded, sitting back in her chair. and she just might have the time of her life tonight.

Louis and Ren showed up together. She wore a blue dress that louis said fit her in all the right places. she wasn't entirely convinced but that wasn't the point. Ren wanted to have some fun and Louis promised her a good time.

as soon as Harry spotted Louis, he dragged him away to talk to everyone. Ren went to the bar, ordering a martini. she sat down and drank it slowly. she was too sober to properly have fun especially with all of these important people around.

Ren spotted Beyoncé dancing with her husband and even Selena. Ren tried not to be jealous as she talked to Niall. he looked very interested in what she had to say.

Ren rolled her eyes, ordering another drink. Charlie sat down next to her with a grin. "drinking all by yourself?"

"yeah," she chuckled. "my friends went off. I think? not sure. i shouldn't have come."

"Niall horan parties are where it's at," Charlie told her.

"i guess," Ren shrugged. she looked around. "i feel like everyone's staring at me."

"oh," he chuckled. "the article?"

"you saw it too?" ren all but cried.

"yes," he laughed. "i can assure you they're all looking at you because of that dress and not that stupid article."

"right," she chuckled, standing up.

"charlie!" a voice shouted. ren cringed. she thought she was ready but really, she wasnt. "glad you could make it."

"wouldn't miss it for the world," charlie grinned.

"ren," Niall greeted her. "feeling better?"

"uh yeah," she forced out a smile. "i suppose."

"good," Niall smiled. "you look, great by the way. new dress?"

"yes actually," Ren played with the hem of her dress. "i seemed to have received quite a bit of money recently? know anything about it?"

"ah," Niall chuckled. "the royalties. they're treating you well i hope?"

"they are," ren nodded. "to a new dress and a fresh manicure," she held her hand up for proof.

"good i'm glad," Niall nodded.

"so..." charlie cleared his throat. "ren wanna dance?"

Niall watched her intently waiting for her answer. he held his breath. Ren looked torn. she frowned, setting her glass down.

"i uh-"

"come on you love this song!" charlie exclaimed. "remember when we-"

"charlie no," she shook her head. "i'm not really in a dancing mood."

"well come find me later," he told her, kissing her on the cheek.

“so you slept with him," Niall commented quietly.

"months ago before I’d ever met you- before I even wrote the article,” Ren told him. "i didn't sleep with him again it was just stupid i don't know why he'd bring it back up i told him it was..."

Niall wondered why Ren was so desperate to get him to believe her. well he knew. Niall wanted Ren to figure it out herself, as Louis had said.

"i believe you," Niall nodded, eyes softening. "charlie's a great guy and if you wanted to dance with him then i think you should."

"no i don't," she shook her head. "he'd just complicate things more. i'm trying to clean my image up, you know?"

Niall nodded, "yeah i get it."

"yeah," ren nodded. "i actually brought you something."

"no you didn't have to..." he trailed off.

Ren waved him off, reaching over the stool to grab the gift. she handed it to him with a smile. "it's nothing big."

Niall opened it carefully he smiled when he finally got all of the paper off. "ren."

"you left some of your notes behind and i was gonna give them back but i figured this was a bit nicer," she shrugged.

Ren framed a few of the lyrics they wrote together. it wasn't anything big but niall's heart swelled because Ren took the time to make it and she was excited to give it to him.

"thank you," he smiled. he pulled her into a tight hug. "this means a lot."

"no problem," she replied quietly.

"you know this album couldn't have happened without you," Niall told her. he set the picture frame down on the bar.

"that's not true," she shook her head.

"no it is, though. you were always there to push me and help me find these things within me. i've written the most vulnerable music because of you. i don't think i can ever repay you for that."

"Niall all of that was in you... you were just too afraid to go against the brand your team made for you," ren shook her head. "but i'm really proud of what you've become."

"thanks," Niall smiled. "so i was hoping you'd consider touring with me."

"i don't know," ren sighed. "there's some things i really have to do... for myself."

"it'd mean a lot..." Niall told her, voice filled with hope.

"at this point i'm not even sure i have a job anymore," ren shook her head. "and i've been doing a lot of thinking. i got a job offer in london to write for the Daily Mirror."

"but... Ren that's a tabloid," Niall furrowed his eyebrows.

"i know," she nodded. "but it's good money and-"

"but you have money," Niall argued. "the royalties- the money keeps coming from them."

"but the money is coming from you, Niall. i cant live a life knowing that where i'm at is just because of a few songs. it's like i owe you something."

"but working for a tabloid is like-is like a slap in the face don't you think? these magazines that have put you through hell, you're gonna go and work for?"

"i don't know what else to do!" she cried.

"take a break," Niall told her. "i can give you a job. a good one."

"but do you understand that you giving me a job is like- it's not what i want," she shook her head. "every time we end up sort of friends you-you always do stuff like this. why can't you just leave things be?"

"because i'm running out of excuses to see you!" he cried. "i try and i try but it's like- it's like you don't even care. i reach out and it's good for two seconds before you just close in on yourself."

"it's not as easy as you think," ren argued. "you're not exactly the easiest person to talk to."

"what's that supposed to mean?" Niall asked, offended.

"you're like- your mister popstar. you've got girls that follow you around and fans that would kill me if they could! you're not approachable and the signals you've sent me are confusing!"

okay. so Niall needed to send her explicit signals, ones that couldn't be confused for friendliness or platonicness. easy enough.

Ren was staring at niall, eyes wide with frustration. she looked like she was ready to burst. niall smiled.

"what are you smiling at?" she asked angrily.

"you," Niall replied softly.

"we are in the middle of a fight!" she yelled. "wipe that smile off of your face and argue back!"

in one swift motion, Niall stepped forward and cupped her face with one hand, her hip in another. she was nervous. Niall smiled one last time before catching her lips in a hesitant kiss. with her back pressed against the bar, Niall kissed ren the way he's imagined it so many times before. their lips moved together in sync and Niall thought this, this is what kisses are meant to be like.

Niall licked into Ren's mouth, tangling his hands through her hair. Niall was almost frantic as he kissed her. it was like the last four months of self control were coming out in full blast. Ren's soft fingers brushed against his neck and then his chin.

Ren pulled away with a blissed smile on her face. she brushed her thumb over niall's lips and kissed him one more time for good measure.

"let me... let me take care of you," Niall whispered. "write my book."

"what?" ren asked, eyebrows raised in confusion. "a book?"

Niall nodded. "i've read your articles and you've got an amazing writing style and my team has been on me about producing something personal that my fans will appreciate and i've been tossing the idea of a book around and- i want you to help me."

ren crossed her arms over her chest. "is this an excuse to see me?"

"yes," he breathed out, pulling her in by the hips. Niall kissed her again, this time more languidly without much purpose but to kiss her.

Liam pulled Niall away from Ren. "Niall."

Niall frowned. "what? i was in the middle of something."

"speech," Liam told him. he gave Ren an apologetic look. "sorry. the people are getting anxious."

Niall kissed Ren chastely on the lips. "this isn't over, understand?"

Ren raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. "are you telling me what to do?"

"yes," he told her. he kissed her again. "i am."

"you're lucky you're cute, you know that?" Ren shook her head.

"stop flirting!" Liam yelled, laughing. he had to physically drag Niall away from Ren because she was such a distraction to Niall.

a few days later, Ren found herself unabashedly at a cafe in new york city. they were sitting outside as the warm september air kept them cool. anyone could see them.

"so i don't know much about book writing," Ren told Niall. the waiter set a cup of coffee down in front of her. she smiled, "thank you."

"just think of it like a big interview," Niall offered. "it'll be easy."

"no it'll be a lot of headaches and a hell of a lot of coffee," Ren chuckled.

"yeah but like there's no deadline so it's finished when it's finished," Niall told her. he opened the menu with such nonchalance that Ren really wanted to kiss him senseless. "so you can come with me on tour."

"why do you want me to tour with you so bad?" Ren asked, leaning forward.

"because i feel guilty," Niall finally admitted. "because where you're at with your career is partly my fault. i mean, my team literally drove you to drink and i feel like i need to repay you for it."

"you don't need you to repay me for anything," Ren chuckled. "trust me. i've given you a lot of shite the past couple of months."

"i don't mind that," Niall shook his head. "but please think about it."

"i will," ren nodded. "but i'm not making any promises."

"and you'll write the book with me?" Niall asked hopefully.

Ren let out a deep sigh. her lips curled into a smile and she rolled her eyes. "fine."