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Bugs + Prostitution : the New "Left-Wing"(Looooool !) Tumblr Choices
Message of a few days ago (without answer yet) to Tumblr : Hello, it's again about the new posts' editor.
I have started back posting new images on my main Tumblr (and don't tell me to contact you from there, the account is linked to a mailbox which has a technical problem) after 2 months of reblogs because I didn't want to use this new editor (see our previous exchanges).
The new problem is that I want to post with titles in medium size and the rest small size. It's extremely hard, sometimes it functions sometimes not.
I spend 20 minutes making one post, easily double the normal time.
Please don't tell me that I don't do things well. Many people told you this new editor is problematic, even passing the arrow on something to highlight an item, or to copy-paste one, is not normal and you know it.
I'd like a solution for this size problem at least, and the easiest one is that we have the right to USE THE OLD EDITOR which was flawless. ---
Addendum of today 05/09/23 : and there is even more : EVERYTHING BUGS and it's unbelievable to launch a new toy - to replace a PERFECTLY FUNCTIONING ONE - without having made it functional. There is this, and there are the bitches on top of our dashboards, selling their fucking charms.
i know you need money. I know you wanna reverse - without telling that Basile Pesso had warned you ten times in public about the exact reason of this D'onofrio choice - the catastrophic Muslim-oriented policy on nudes implemented by D'onofrio almost five years ago, that almost made your - and therefore, our - ship sink like a Titanic of the web. You just chose prostitution. And artists will go away. BP.
#basile pesso#tumblr#writers#writers on tumblr#journalists#bugs#technicl problems#yes we are magazine#journalists on tumblr#independant journalists on tumblr#original content#society topics
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scrub & rinse: the dilemma of situationships
It’s 11:30 and I can’t sleep and I’m thinking of the most hated word of the 2020s: situationship. There’s no doubt that if you use TikTok most of the day (like me), or if you have a friend that’s always having “boy problems,” that you haven’t heard this word.
It’s a fickle one, too. Situationship is defined by Urban Dictionary as “let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused on the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.” That sounds god-awful. And, I guess I’m writing this because I’ve stumbled into a situationship myself. Kind of. We’ve never had sex. I don’t know if that’s a defining character of a situationship, but he lives about 500 miles away from me in Iowa of all places. Do people in Iowa even have sex? I guess that’s for me to find out, hopefully, eventually. It’s barely a situationship. He only texts me at, like, 11 P.M. and I’m seriously starting to wonder what he does at school all day. I don’t even remember his major, am I a bad situationship? I think it’s justifiable to want to be texted before 11 P.M. And, also, I think it’s justifiable to want to be asked to FaceTime before 11 P.M. Because chances are, I’m high, tucked in, and watching a little TV show by that time. My pants are probably off.
Of course, if he manages to respond to me in a “timely” manner, he’s always apologizing for taking so much time. A part of me wonders if he’s as invested in our very real and profound situationship as I am. It’s not even a label. We’re not even a thing. That’s what’s so stupid about the whole thing – I want definition in a place where it’s clearly not needed. We’ve been “talking” in the way that makes elementary school girls chatter for about two weeks after he responded to an Instagram story in which I vague a certain singer of a certain pop punk band (who actually ended up viewing the story in question, which added to the whole faux-conundrum). He’s an April Taurus. That’s what the vague was about, in case you were wondering. I can’t tell if an April Taurus is a red flag or not. My mom is one, and I hate her but also, I don’t know what I’d do without her. Maybe that’s the whole mother thing, though.
Back to the situationship: is it normal to look for reassurance when it’s an undefined relationship? Because, I’ll have texted him at three in the afternoon and by the time I get a text back, it’s turned well into night. I want to know what he’s been up to and, maybe, if he’s talking to any other girls. Not that he’d tell me that. It’s not like I don’t talk to other guys. There’s Tinder guy, who calls me gorgeous and goes to local shows with me. He’s kind of another situationship, but I think I may have fumbled it. No, actually, I definitely fumbled it. Anyway, haha!!!!!! Current situationship is so loosely defined by that word. His band put out an EP and he didn’t even tell me. I had to find out on Instagram.
I’ve been kind of an Insta-whore recently, I might need an intervention. I’ve posted slutty pictures in hopes one guy will see it and then show it to other guy who I kind of want. And, that plan, did not include the situationship from Iowa who is an April Taurus. Kind-of-crush from Boston who’s a May Taurus, maybe. Don’t tell him I said that. My slutty attention-whore posts might definitely become Situationship-April-Taurus aimed, though. I crave the validation of his story like. Maybe he’ll even respond to it! The thrill of being young and not in love or friendship but a secret third thing.
The bottom line is, I think, that situationships are dumb. They’re a stupid concept and an almost cowardly solution to commitment issues. Because, at what point do you step out of the situationship and turn it into a relationship? And, will I ever find that out with this current guy? Much to think about.
#scrub & rinse#blog#zine#relationship column#idk if tumblr is the right place to put this tbh#journalism#journalists on tumblr#??#strawberry shampoo
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PLEASE I BEG YOU <3 Drew x Journalist Reader. Got this idea based off just seeing Drew having a short interview by a girl at the Newport beach event who was a bit nervous and asked him a question twice. Maybe you can base it off that. Reader is not the most confident, a bit shy snd awkward sometimes. She messes up for her short interview with him and feels so embarressed but Drew found it adorable since it just shows that she's human and ''real'' in a sense. Maybe Drew tries to lock eyes with her throughout the event, from him being on stage, standing in the audience listening to others, but she is like ¨''Ain't no way. It's just a coincidence ''.......but you know....he tries further to make contact
ALL EYES ON YOU! ⸻ drew starkey
notes / BIG YES!! I saw that interview too and it was just too cute not to write about, so this request definitely came in handy. So thank you 🎀
content / drew starkey x fem!reader, actor!drew, journalist!reader, reader is kinda awkward, drew being a sweetheart as usual, reader is in her mid 20’s, stangers to lovers kinda trope
summary / interviewing your celebrity crush and embarrassing yourself infront of him definitely wasn’t on your 2024 bingo card, and neither was him being unable to take his eyes off of you
The crowd buzzed with excitement as you stood near the edge of the red carpet, clutching your microphone and a notepad filled with carefully prepared questions. The premiere of Outer Banks Season 4 was a major event, and the energy in the air was electric.
The cast was expected to arrive any minute, and you felt your nerves ramp up as you thought of meeting Drew Starkey. Your Drew Starkey. Well, not exactly yours, but you'd been a fan for years, and he'd long since occupied a special place in your heart as your celebrity crush.
Taking a deep breath, you repeated your questions silently, hoping it would ground you. But just as you started to calm down, you spotted him. Drew Starkey, looking effortlessly handsome and radiating that natural charm that seemed to captivate everyone around him. He was posing for photographers, his smile warm and his energy magnetic.
He felt good—excited, proud, and ready to talk about the new season. But he was also looking forward to something else tonight: connecting with people who genuinely loved the show. Sometimes, he missed that raw, unscripted connection during events like this.
'Come on, y/n. You can do this',
you reminded yourself. You usually felt so confident in these situations, but Drew seemed to have a unique effect on you, making you feel like a nervous wreck. Your cheeks were already heating up, and your heart beat faster as you raised a hand and gave him a small wave once he was finished with photos.
Drew spotted you and smiled, giving a nod before making his way over. There was something different about you. While others looked focused and polished, you seemed caught between excitement and nerves, like you were trying to psych yourself up. Drew grinned to himself, charmed by your genuine energy. Your mind raced, and you frantically tried to remember your opening question, but it seemed to have vanished as soon as he was close enough to hear you.
"Uh, hi! Drew... Starkey..." you stammered, mentally kicking yourself as your cheeks flushed even redder. Drew had to hold back a chuckle as you stammered. "Sorry, I—I mean, obviously you're Drew. So, uh, how—how does it feel to, um, be here?"
A small smile played on Drew's lips as he tilted his head, clearly amused and a little charmed. "It feels pretty amazing," he answered gently, giving you his full attention. "I think you might be the first person to be nervous to talk to me tonight, though."
You felt yourself relax, if only a bit. He didn't seem to mind your awkwardness, and his laid-back attitude made it easier for you to laugh at herself. "I guess I don't usually get this flustered," you admitted, "but, uh, meeting your favorite actor is a little... intimidating."
Drew's eyebrows lifted slightly. Favorite actor? He felt a warmth spread through him, more flattered than he'd expected, his blue eyes sparkling with warmth. "Well, now you're just making me feel special," he teased gently, leaning just a touch closer. "But don't worry, I'm not here to judge. Actually, it's refreshing to meet someone who isn't just asking the same scripted questions."
You couldn't help but smile at his words. He was down-to-earth and easygoing, making you feel at ease despite your earlier awkwardness. It almost felt like you were old friends catching up rather than journalist and actor.
"Okay," you said, determined to pull it together. "So, if you could sum up Season 4 in just three words, what would they be?"
Drew thought for a moment, letting his mind go back to the season they'd just wrapped. "Adventurous, intense... and wild," he said, grinning. "I think the fans are going to love it."
You nodded, managing to regain some of your confidence. "Thank you, Drew. And just so you know, Outer Banks fans will always be here for every wild ride you give us."
The way you said it, with that sincerity, had him smiling from ear to ear. "I'll keep that in mind," he said, meeting your eyes. "It's good to know there are people who care about the story as much as we do."
As he moved on, Drew felt lighter, the encounter lingering in his thoughts. There was something refreshing about you—authentic, unpolished, and kind. It was exactly the kind of conversation that reminded him why he loved doing what he did.
While he walked further away from you, you couldn't help but replay the interview with Drew in your mind as you drifted through the rest of the event. You had been a little starstruck, sure, but he'd been so warm and kind that it had made you feel strangely comfortable, almost like you'd got to know each other for more than just a few brief minutes.
And just like you had trouble forgetting about your encounter, Drew couldn't shake the memory of you either—the way your cheeks flushed, the slight tremor in your voice, the way you'd looked up at him with a mix of awe and genuine warmth. Drew couldn't quite explain it, but there was something that pulled him back toward you, something he hadn't felt with anyone in a long time.
When he stepped up onto the stage with the rest of the Outer Banks cast, ready for the Q&A session, his gaze instinctively drifted back into the crowd, scanning the sea of faces. Then he found you, standing off to the side with your notepad tucked under your arm, looking just as captivated as before. You were listening intently to the panel, your attention riveted on the cast's every word—Drew was as charismatic as ever, grinning and laughing alongside his castmates.
But several times, you could have sworn he was looking directly at you, but you brushed it off, refusing to entertain the thought that he might actually be looking at you. He's just scanning the crowd, you thought. There's no way he'd be singling me out.
Yet, each glance felt so intentional, his gaze warm and lingering. Each time you looked his way, Drew caught himself holding your gaze just a little longer than he should, his eyes following you with a subtle, warm curiosity, until you had to look away before you got lost in his eyes again. Still, you convinced yourself that you were being silly. There was no reason that Drew Starkey was staring at her.
But Drew was. He could see the way you tried to hide your reactions, the way you would quickly look away whenever your eyes met, almost as if you were embarrassed by the attention. He thought it was adorable. The more he saw you, the more he knew he wanted to get to know you better.
His gaze followed you even as he answered the crowd's questions, and the small, knowing smile he wore didn't go unnoticed by his castmates, who exchanged teasing glances with each other. They could sense something different about Drew's mood tonight.
After the Q&A ended, Drew made his way through the post-panel mingling, still keeping an eye out for you while you hung back. A couple of times, he seemed to be moving in your direction, and your heart thudded loudly, hope and disbelief mixing in your chest. But then, just as quickly, someone would intercept him for a quick photo or handshake, and he'd be pulled away. You shook your head, convincing yourself it was nothing, just your own wishful thinking.
Eventually, you decided to call it a night, making your way out of the bustling venue with a small, satisfied smile. Meeting Drew had been more than you'd expected, a little moment you'd treasure, even if he'd likely never think of her again.
When Drew finally broke away, he glanced back to where you'd been standing, but you were gone, and his heart sank a little. He hadn't even gotten your last name or which media outlet you were with. All he knew was your first name and that undeniable connection he'd felt.
Drew had plenty of interactions with fans and journalists over the years, but there was something about you that was different, something he wasn't ready to let go of so easily. There had to be a way to reach out to you again, and he was determined to find it.
He could already picture himself talking to his publicist, describing you—the journalist with the kind smile, the one who didn't ask the usual questions. He would find you, he decided. He wasn't about to let this connection slip through his fingers.
The morning after the premiere, you arrived at work feeling the usual post-event blend of exhaustion and lingering excitement. Meeting Drew had been the highlight of your night, and although you'd convinced yourself he was just being friendly, your mind kept replaying the way his eyes had seemed to find yours in the crowd. But now, back in the real world, it was just a fun memory you'd carry with you as you returned to your daily routine.
You set down your coffee, flipped open your laptop, and began your morning tasks: drafting a few responses, diving into some research for your next article and sorting through emails. The office was buzzing as usual, your coworkers catching up on coffee breaks and deadlines. Just another ordinary day—until your eyes caught an email with an unknown addressee.
The message was short and to the point:
Hi y/n,
Drew's Team had a couple of follow-up questions about last night's interview. Would you mind getting in touch with us? The number is below if it's easier for you to reach us directly.
Your heart skipped as you read the last line over and over, your eyes glued to the phone number listed at the bottom of the email. Your hands trembled slightly, your mind racing with possibilities. You felt a small jolt of anxiety—had you messed up somehow? You told yourself to stay calm, to stay professional—but something told you this was more than just a follow-up. You quickly picked up your phone, dialing the number as you took a sip of coffee to calm your nerves.
The line rang a couple of times before a familiar voice answered on the other end, smooth and unmistakably warm. "Hello? Y/n? This is Drew."
You choked, your coffee going down the wrong way as you coughed in shock, barely managing to keep your composure. Drew? She hadn't expected this in the slightest.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" he asked, a gentle laugh in his voice that only made your face heat up more.
"Y-yes! I'm fine," you stammered, quickly setting your coffee aside as you tried to regain your balance. "Sorry, I just—didn't realize it would be you answering."
Drew chuckled, sounding completely at ease. "Sorry about the surprise. I wasn't sure how to reach out to you and if you'd even pick up if you knew it was me," he teased lightly. "I just wanted to follow up about our conversation last night. And, well...I'm still around today, so I hoped we could grab a coffee later?"
Your heart raced, unable to believe this was happening. You managed to swallow back your surprise and keep your voice steady, even as a smile tugged at your lips. "I... I'd like that," you replied softly, realizing this conversation could lead to more than you'd ever imagined.
feedback and requests are greatly appreciated !!
tags 🏷️ @gibson-g1rl @starkeysprincess @starkeydolly @seasons-of-death @httpsdrewstarkey @rafescokewhore @rafesweetie @rafecameroninterlude @drewspinkbunny @drewsarms @t6urusmoon @dolcekissy @doll-face222 @wearemadeofstardust0 @beausling @supernatural-wolfie
#writers on tumblr#drew starkey x reader#drew x reader#drew starkey#drew starkey fluff#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey one shot#drew fluff#outer banks#obx4#obx#journalist!reader#actor!drew
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list of writing software i use (in order) (they're all free!!)
Reedsy (rough draft writing; editing)
world anvil (organizing information and rough draft posting)
lulu (final draft publishing)
#writeblr#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#writing#writing aesthetic#author#creative writing#journalist aesthetic#writerscommunity#writing tips#writing community#writing inspiration#writing advice#writer#writing software
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The Industrial Workers of the World is One Big Union for everyone--and that includes freelancers!
The IWW Freelance Journalists Union--or the FJU--is open to all freelancers in news media, including journalists, bloggers, writers, photographers, filmmakers, and illustrators! Join today!
Join the IWW About the FJU
#originals#iww#iww fju#freelance journalists union#iww freelance journalists union#the iww#industrial workers of the world#the industrial workers of the world#unionize#union strong#writers of tumblr#authors of tumblr#journalists of tumblr#journalism#freelancers of tumblr#freelance#freelancer
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Original Video. | @haniaburezeq
A very belated work for @fairuzfan 's call for art in solidarity with Palestine.
#Palestine#Free Palestine#Palestinian Genocide#digital painting#my art#digital artist#realism#i/p#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#Presented without comment. I just had to share the heartbreak I felt when I saw this. That two months have passed is crushing.#please keep calling your reps and protesting#digital art#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#small artist#politics#I don't have an instagram but I should make one to tag the journalist#art for palestine
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simple bisan portrait because i love bisan !
#palestine#bisan#bisan owda#wizard bisan#bisan gaza#free palestine#i stand with palestine#journalists#palestinians#free gaza#gaza strip#artists on tumblr#raespberrie#my art#ceasefire#support palestine
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the new story mode huh
#identity v#idv fanart#ashes of memory#ashes of memory spoilers#alice deross#orpheus deross#frederick kreiburg#composer idv#journalist idv#novelist idv#artists on tumblr
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Welcome back my bravest Nightingale
#digital art#artists on tumblr#identity v#idv fanart#idv journalist#idv orpheus#idv nightmare#idv fool's gold
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💋💋
Follow my tg channel pls.. 😔: ribcage
#identity v#orpheus idv#art#illustration#sketch#digital painting#digital art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#artwork#small artist#alice deross#norton campbell#idv fanart#idv#identity 5#fanart#melly plinius#frederick kreiburg#idv prospector#idv entomologist#idv journalist#idv novelist
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I am learning day after day more elements on the nightmare that has happened to my wife and collaborator Anne Pangolin Guéno and me since her disappearance the 28/08/2 021. I have explained all the new elements on my Fb, among which one text in English, the rest being in French. The start of the shit comes from long ago. To spare Anne I probably won't explain exactly what happened to her. I just want to say here again that the about 100 pages of adulation, satanism and porn/love I found in October 2 021 concerning the at-right intellectual from Atlanta Oliver Perrin (Semiogogue / Read the Signs) are fantasies of Anne : they never spoke to each other. Strangely he never read anything of what I wrote here and on Fb, and no one told him ! This is what I learned about two weeks ago, from Anne, who is in the French city of Nantes under guardianship (she's now 33 years-old) and trying to get rid of this status and to come back to me and our careers. She confirmed to me the about 7 months of sequestration close to Nantes in the house of her parents (October 2 021 > May 2 022).
She spoke to me about several suicide attempts, and several death threats from her parents (hunting rifle).
In the last days I learnt more, and more shit. I'll talk about it later.
BP.
#basile pesso#original content#sadness#madness#writers#writers on tumblr#journalism#journalists#independant journalists#journalists on tumblr#yes we are magazine
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The Annunciation of Naturae
#bugsnax#bugsnax journalist#bugsnax naturae#lizbert megafig#buddy inkguard#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#the fool was i
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John Wesley Cromwell
September 5, 1846 – April 14, 1927
HAPPY BIRTHDAY - Rest in Peace
a lawyer, teacher, civil servant, journalist, historian, and civil rights activist in Washington, D.C. He was among the founders of the Bethel Literary and Historical Society and the American Negro Academy, both based in the capital. He worked for decades in the administration of the US Post Office.
#teacher#black tumblr#black history#educator#journalists#civil rights#activist#black excellence#black literature#black community#black history is american history#civil rights movement#blackexcellence365
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PRICE OF FAME (PART 2/12)
hiii here's these two again, enjoy!!
————
18+ — MINORS DNI
pairing: rockstar!eddie x journalist!reader
summary: eddie still hates you, you're way too nice, and gareth fucked up big time
contains: enemies to lover trope, themes of sexism/misogyny, smoking, drug and alcohol use, reader gets injured (nothing crazy), eddie hooking up with someone that's not reader, mean eddie, sexual themes, a glimpse of needy n sad eddie, mild violence (eddie punches someone), and Eddie being nosey <3
word count: 5.6k
| previous part | next part |
| series masterlist | -main masterlist- |
Eddie can’t do it.
He can’t fucking stand you. He hates that you’re everywhere, always around, always lingering— like a fucking hawk— just silently watching and waiting for one of them to fuck up. And he hates that you carry that fucking journal everywhere, always jotting down notes about whatever bullshit you write about— and he’s sure it isn’t any good either way because most of the time, the band does the same shit every day. There’s nothing for you to write about. They do a show, hang out backstage, catch wind of some party, stay out until they can’t physically walk anymore, and crash as soon as they get to the hotel.
It’s the same shit. Yet, you’re always writing something down as if something new has happened— as if it’s something intriguing and eye-catching.
You barely talk for the first few days; you just watch and observe, and Eddie thinks this must be how animals at the zoo feel— on display and putting up some fascinating show. He hates it.
After the third show, you start to loosen around the edges and start actually talking, like a normal human being. You talk to Jeff the most, laugh at his shitty jokes and ask him questions about songs and lines he’s written in past songs, and Eddie hates that. He hates watching you sit next to Jeff and scribble in your journal as Jeff strums out a new hook.
He hates that whenever he brings you up to Jeff and makes some snide comment about you, Jeff never joins in— just shrugs and says, ‘She’s not too bad, actually.’
As if Eddie would ever believe that.
Gareth hardly pays any mind to you; he's too busy checking out chicks and just… being Gareth, but you’ve talked to him on multiple occasions. Eddie’s caught glimpses of you two chatting at rehearsals or in the green room. You even sat with him at breakfast the other day, and Eddie— Eddie almost blew a gasket because that was his fucking seat.
You’re ruining everything, and nobody seems to notice except for Eddie, and it’s driving him nuts.
“Dude, you’re gonna scare her away if you keep glaring at her like that,” Jeff mumbles, turning back to his guitar as he runs a dust cloth over the neck of the instrument.
They’re in the studio today because there’s no show tonight, and against all of Eddie’s wishes, Richie still invited you to come sit in for their session. Eddie watches through the glass of the sound booth as you settle in on the brown couch, pulling out that stupid journal and a pen, mindlessly clicking it a few times before writing a note. Ridiculous.
Eddie glares at Jeff and works the gum in his mouth as he pulls a face, “Good. She can blow off the face of the earth for all I care.” He grumbles, sitting down in the metal chair beside Jeff.
Jeff looks at him, raises an unimpressed eyebrow, and shakes his head, “She’s not going anywhere, man. You’re gonna fuck it up if you keep being so… hostile toward her.” He points out. Eddie leans back in his chair, pulling out a box of cigarettes and sparking up. “I’m not gonna be the one to fuck it up,” Eddie mumbles through smoke, “You guys are practically feeding her all the information she needs on a silver fucking platter. She’s a goddamn shark.”
Jeff scoffs and says nothing more as he continues cleaning his guitar. Eddie glances at you and watches you talk to the producer, smiling and laughing at something that Eddie can’t hear because the mic is off and the door is closed.
Aside from how annoying and creepishly lurk-y you are, Eddie can admit you’re pretty. You have a pretty face, pretty smile, pretty hair, a bright look in your eyes that Eddie can’t stand because you look at the rest of the band like they hung the fucking moon when they speak. You look at everyone as if they’re so important, and Eddie thinks that’s dumb.
He glances at Jeff, watches him silently for a moment, and glances back at you, takes a hit of his cigarette before speaking, “You like her?” he asks.
Jeff glimpses at Eddie and laughs with a shake of his head, “Isn’t that precisely what you’re pissed about?”
Eddie shakes his head, “No, like,” he kicks the heel of his shoe into the floor, “Do you wanna fuck her?”
Jeff pauses his task and watches as Eddie puffs on his cigarette. “I have a girlfriend, Eddie.” He reminds the boy. Eddie glances at him and scoffs, “That chick from Chicago? Thought that was just for fun.” He responds.
Eddie remembers the girl from a few weeks back, remembers Jeff sneaking her on the bus while they had dinner. He didn’t know they were serious.
Jeff shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing in disbelief, “No, man. She’s come to like every show— and her name is Naomi; she’s not a chick.”
Eddie grunts in response, burning to the end of his cigarette when Jeff stands up and nudges him with his foot, “Just talk to her, dude. She’s not as bad as you think she is, and she asks good questions— actual questions, about the music and shit. None of that,” he waves a hand in gesture, “stupid shit we get from reporters. She’s good. Just try.”
Jeff leaves Eddie to mill about it and finish off cigarette, snuffing it out in the ashtray sitting on the amp. Eddie doesn’t believe Jeff one bit; he thinks you’re a liar who’s mastered the art of manipulation and has weaseled your way into gaining his friends' trust. He doesn’t believe you are here for the music, as Jeff had said; he thinks— knows— that you’re here to find the cracks.
You’re here to find the cuts and bruises and press into them so you can tear them apart piece by piece. A starved monster, preying on his band for some sick and twisted story to feed the media so you can climb the ladder of your industry. Eddie has met and knows people like you, and he can call your bluff from a mile away.
He doesn’t believe Jeff. But he does, however, know how to play your game.
The next day is show day— the fifth show of the residency, and Eddie is in a good mood. He woke up with a girl in his bed, got high, went for a short walk to a nearby cafe, and even signed a few autographs for some lovely fans. On top of that, you haven’t shown up for rehearsals yet, and Eddie thinks the world is working in his favor today if you skip.
He’s playful today. He jumps on Gareth’s back and makes him run down the rows of the arena, screaming and hollering like wild animals. He and Jeff take Richie’s golf cart and go for a spin backstage, giggling when the security chases them and tells them speeding backstage is prohibited. They don’t listen, though; Eddie ignores everyone’s warnings and keeps hauling ass down the nearly empty hallways, swerving around boxes and equipment like a madman.
And Eddie may be mean sometimes; he may push people's buttons for the hell of it and do things he knows he shouldn’t just to get a reaction out of it, but Eddie isn’t cruel. He isn’t a psychopath who likes hurting people, so he doesn’t mean to speed past you and spook you badly enough to stumble into a stack of road cases.
Eddie saw you, and he tried to warn you, yelled out for you to move out of the way, and even honked, but you had a pair of headphones stuffed over your ears so that you couldn’t hear the squealing wheels of the golf cart or Eddie’s warning. He almost took you out. Almost. But he didn’t because he swerved at the last second, and you panicked and stepped back, stumbling on the heel of your shoe and falling onto the cold cement floor, slamming your back against the black boxes.
Eddie curses and comes to a screeching halt, parking the golf cart and following Jeff as he jogs over to you, quickly asking if you’re okay and helping you to sit up. As you speak, your face is twisted in confusion, wincing and sitting up, “I’m fine, I just— I just fell, it’s fine.”
Eddie watches from a few feet back as Jeff helps you stand up, face pinching in an expression of pain when you put your weight onto your ankle, and Eddie doesn’t believe it for a second. “I think you might need to get that checked—” Eddie cuts Jeff off and speaks the first thought that comes to his mind, “Why didn’t you move out of the way?”
You look at him, anger replacing your look of pain as you glare at Eddie. You grip the band of your headphones and wave it at him, “Because I didn’t fucking hear you, jackass.” You snap. “What, you couldn’t see the big ass machine hurling your way?”
“No,” you seethe, “You shouldn’t have been driving that fast anyways; this isn’t my fault. The least you could do is say fucking sorry.” You spat. And Eddie just thinks you’re a brat. Before Eddie can respond with an even bitchier response, Jeff is cutting in with a wave of his hands, “Okay, this is fucking stupid,” he scoffs, “just let me drive you to medic so you can get checked.”
Eddie doesn’t even bother helping Jeff get you to the golf cart; he simply watches as you fake your limp all the way to the vehicle and thank Jeff for helping you get in. Jeff looks back to Eddie and raises an eyebrow, “Are you coming, man?”
Eddie wouldn’t willingly spend a minute with you if someone paid him to do it.
He shakes his head with a scoff and tells them to go on, he’ll meet them at the stage later on, and Jeff takes off without another word.
“Did you try to hit the journalist with a fucking golf cart?”
Eddie’s good mood is long gone.
After the whole golf cart fiasco, Eddie took his time walking around backstage and burning through cigarettes before finding himself in the room filled with snacks and drinks. He’s standing at the table filled with chips and sodas when Richie storms in and starts causing a goddamn scene.
“What—” “You know what I’m talking about.” Richie snaps. Eddie’s face twists in annoyance, “I didn’t try to fucking hit her; she didn’t move out of the goddamn way because she’s an idiot,” Eddie grumbles, returning to his task of sifting through the different brands of chips. Eddie doesn’t believe you’re actually hurt. That pathetic fall was as minor as a fall can get, and he thinks Jeff and anyone else who believes your shitty acting skills is dumber than a rock.
Richie snatches the bag of chips out of Eddie’s hand and tosses them onto the table, ignoring Eddie’s protest as he speaks, “She sprained her fucking ankle, man.”
Eddie scoffs, “She’s faking it, Richie; anybody with brains can see that from a mile away.” He rolls his eyes. Richie looks at Eddie as if he’s lost his mind, as if Eddie is the worst villain to ever grace the goddamn planet, “You’re fucked up,” and Eddie’s stomach twists in some weird way he can’t explain.
“You have some serious fucking issues, man. That girl did nothing to you, and you treat her like shit.” Richie spits, and Eddie hates how his throat feels tight, like someone shoved a golf ball down his throat. “Get over yourself.”
Richie leaves Eddie in the empty room, silent and, against Eddie’s wishes, feeling like the shittiest man alive.
Eddie’s good mood feels like a dream now.
He’s silent throughout rehearsals. He sings his parts half-assed and plays his solos half-assed, too. You watch from the side of the stage, propped up on one of the road cases to take the weight off your ankle, and Eddie doesn’t even glance in your direction the entire time. He avoids you at all costs, leaving the room when you walk in, going the other direction you’re walking in, and even skipping lunch to avoid crossing paths.
You’ve been like a ghost all day; everywhere Eddie goes, you’re somehow there, walking with a shitty limp as if trying to rub it into Eddie’s face that, ‘You did this. This is your fault.’ and Eddie can’t stand it. By the time the doors open to the arena, Eddie is more than ready to finish the show and steer clear of all traces of you.
You watched the show on the TV in the dressing room, silently snacking on a bag of Ritz crackers with your foot propped up on the coffee table beside the couch. The medic advised you to avoid putting pressure on your ankle for the next few days so you couldn’t have your usual front-row view of the show.
The boys do good; they perform a new song they’re working on, and the crowd seems to have loved it. As usual, they get up to their ritual backstage antics, pregaming for whatever party they’ll attend, loud and obnoxious music, and cheering on whatever drinking game they’ve made up. You’re silently writing in your journal, updating the last entry on what you’ve witnessed today. Interpretations on the new music, drabbles on what you and Gareth briefly discussed about his childhood, and quick notes on whatever comes to mind while writing.
You hardly notice Eddie stumbling through the dressing room door until you hear him bumping into the side table with a curse. You look up, silently watching as he looks around the room, searching for something you’re unsure of. You try to keep your voice level to not scare him, but he is startled either way, “What are you looking for?”
His eyes are low, puffy around the edges from the alcohol he’d tossed back earlier, hair tousled with curly strands clinging to his lips. His lips are slick, swollen, and red, clothes askew on his lean frame. His jeans are unbuttoned, belt clinking as he sways a bit, licking his lips as he stammers, “Uh… my uh, my jacket—” he blinks, stumbling to lean against the door and blinking hard, “M’looking for my jacket.”
Your eyebrows raise as you watch him, the disheveled and captivating mess he is, bleary eyes gazing at you through a cloud of eyeshadow and whiskey. You breathe and point to the chair in front of the vanity, “It’s over there.”
His gaze follows your lead, landing on his strewn jacket, cursing as he walks across the room. You busy yourself with your journal, picking up where you’d left off. You can hear Eddie rustling behind you, and you try to avoid glancing back at him, but you fail, glancing in time to watch as he leans forward into the mirror to tug at misplaced strands of his hair.
He’s silent for a moment before clearing his throat, glancing back at you through the mirror, “I’m uh… I’m sorry about,” he gestures to your elevated foot, forgetting you’re not even facing him, and rubbing the back of his hand to rub his nose and sniffling, “About your foot… Was really shitty of me.”
You glance back at him, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips, “Thank you, Eddie. I appreciate your apology.”
Eddie scoffs, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and shoving a stick between his lips with quivering fingers, “Yeah, well, that’s the first and last apology you’ll ever get from me so…” you silently watch as he lights his cigarette, puffing out a cloud of smoke and glancing at you through the mirror, “cherish it.”
You quietly sigh and shift in your seat, ignoring his remark, “You going out tonight?” You ask.
You watch as he steps away from the vanity and walks over to the couch, plopping down on the farthest side from you with a deep sigh, “That’s the routine.” He mumbles around a cloud of smoke.
You nod, an uncomfortable silence settling over the two of you as you continue writing. Eddie is slumped down in his seat, quietly puffing on his cigarette as he gazes at you through low lids, “What are you writing?”
You look at him; pen paused over the sentence you’d been writing as you tilt your head, “I’m working on my piece… you know, the piece you’re starring in.” Eddie grumbles in response with a single nod of his head, and his eyes are so low you’d almost think he’s falling asleep if it weren’t for his determination to finish his cigarette.
“Why— why haven’t you asked me anything?” Eddie asks.
You look at him, doing your best to keep a neutral expression as you fold your hands over the paper of your notebook, “I wasn’t under the impression you wanted to be… bothered.”
Eddie glances at you, scoffing, and you remind yourself that you’ve already somehow made the man despise you, so it’d be better to hold your tongue, opting not to remind him of the shitty attitude he’s had since you met. “I’m part of the band, aren’t I?” He shrugs, picking at the loose threads of his ripped jeans. “Shouldn’t I have as much coverage as… Jeff?” He mumbles, and you think he might be under the impression that you can’t hear him, but you do either way.
Your eyebrows raise, and you shift in your seat once again, “Well… would you like me to ask you some questions?”
Eddie is more gentle when he is drunk, you think. More pliable, softer. The stone-hard deflective shield he has thrown up for you has withered beneath the alcohol. Where his eyes are usually cold and sharp, they are now softer and telling— of what, you’re not sure yet. He shifts further into the couch and shrugs, and you take a deep breath and flip to a clean page, scribbling Eddie’s name in the corner.
“Okay, Eddie,” you begin, turning ever so slightly to face him. “Tell me about yourself. Tell me about who you are aside from the frontman of Corroded Coffin.” You glance between your notebook and Eddie, patiently waiting as he takes a drag of the burning paper. He looks at you, the majority of his face shielded behind unruly dark curls, and the room is so silent it’s nearly deafening.
Eddie shakes his head so gently you almost don’t notice the movement, “I don’t…” he bounces his leg once, “I thought this was about the music.”
You nod, “It is.”
Eddie gently blinks, like if he blinks too hard, the earth might shatter, and you think it’s beautiful, and you think you might hate that.
“It’s about the music, but I can’t write about the music without knowing the creator, can I?”
Eddie looks at you, eyes almost clear with lips parted around smoke. He blinks again, and you smile in encouragement, situating the pen in your grip. He looks at you, studies you, his gaze dropping to your awaiting hand, and his face twists in some expression you can’t put a finger on.
Before Eddie can speak, the door opens, both of your heads snapping toward the door as a tipsy Gareth pops his head inside, “Eddie, come on man, the car’s here.”
If Gareth had noticed the odd combination of you and Eddie sitting on the same couch, willingly enduring each other's presence, he wouldn’t mention it.
You look back to Eddie, and you almost want to stop him as he gets up because, god, you were so fucking close. So close to finally touching Eddie. But he’s gone quicker than he came, the scent of his cologne and smoke lingering like a ghost, and despite Eddie giving you absolutely nothing to write about, you find yourself writing about him either way with nothing but his scent to aid you.
Eddie is drunk, and he can not, for the life of him, stop thinking about you.
A girl is climbing over him in the back of a taxi, and Eddie can only think about you. The look of pain you had when you stood up after falling, the way you looked at him as if he was the bane of your existence— it makes Eddie’s stomach churn, and he wishes the culprit for his nausea was the alcohol, but it’s not. Eddie knows it’s not because the second he thinks about the way you smiled at him in the dressing room, the way you said his name, the way you spoke so gently despite how much of an asshole he’s been to you, Eddie’s sick stomach settles and erupts in this annoying warm flutter.
Eddie can’t think of anything but the fact that he wants you to smile at him more, wants to hear you say his name again, and talk to him in your gentle way.
His face pinches in frustration, fingers gripping the girl's waist as she mouths at his neck. She moans against his skin, grinding down against his bulge and grinning when she feels him rut up against her. Eddie mumbles something, he’s not sure what he mumbles because his brain is split between worlds of scary feelings and arousal, but the girl laughs, scraping her teeth against his thumping pulse, “That journalist?” She asks.
Eddie blinks away the foggy cloud, “Huh?”
Lany pulls away from his neck and looks at him, biting her lip and tilting her head as she rubs up against him again, Eddie grunting in the back of his throat as his face twists in pleasure. “The journalist. You said her name.” Lany hums, drifting her hands up Eddie’s chest and grappling at the collar of his unbuttoned sheer top. Eddie blinks again and shakes his head, “I didn’t,” he denies.
Lany giggles, “You did, Eddie.”
Eddie glances over her shoulder, making awkward eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and he slightly grimaces and looks back to Lany as she leans in, ghosting her lips over his and tauntingly whispering your name. Eddie grunts in protest, squeezing her hips in a warning. Before he can say something, Lany kisses him with a hum before pulling away to where her lips brush against hers as she speaks, “Did you fuck her?”
Eddie pulls away from Lany, a look of distaste on his face as he glares at her, “Did I— what? No,” Eddie cringes as if it’s the worst thing he’s ever heard— and it’s not, and Eddie… Eddie hates that, he thinks. “No, I didn’t fuck her. Are you serious?” “You want to fuck her then?”
“I want you to stop talking about her,” Eddie counters, dragging his thumb across her bottom lip and watching as he drags the plump flesh down, grinning when Lany nips at his fingertip. “Maybe put these pretty lips to good use, hm?” He taunts, grin widening when she nods and sucks his thumb down to the last knuckle, his jeans tightening at the feeling and sight.
And if Eddie did say your name, he doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t dwell on the fact that he’d been thinking of you for whatever odd, fucked up reason, and he doesn’t try to figure out what that weird flutter feeling is when he thinks about your softness, the softness he’s been depriving himself of.
He doesn’t dwell on any of it because Eddie is drunk, and when Eddie drinks, he thinks of and does stupid things, things that sound good at the moment but will screw him over in the long run.
And Eddie wants nothing to do with you anyway, and it’s not like one half-assed drunken conversation changed that, right?
Eddie’s got a blistering headache and a churning stomach as he stands outside the studio the following day. It’s drizzling, gloomy clouds drooping over the looming buildings of New York, and Eddie always hated this kind of weather; he preferred a full storm over the tease of a shower.
New York has never been Eddie’s favorite place, it’s dirty, and reeks of trash, and the people are shitty, but he likes how easy it is to blend in with the crowd; not many people notice him here, and that’s rare these days.
He’s leaning on the stoop of the building, tiny drops of rain dripping from the portico onto his leather-covered shoulders. A burning cigarette hangs between his fingers as he watches the traffic go by, taking slow puffs to ease his body.
He hardly notices you when you bounce up the stairs until you stand just two steps below him. He glances at you and sees the coffee cups in each of your hands. You extend one out to him, “Would you like one? They accidentally gave me two.” You offer.
And you’re fucking nice. Despite how shitty Eddie has been towards you, you’re still nice to him, and Eddie, for the life of him, can’t stand it. He thinks you’re weird, insane, stupid. Thinks you were probably dropped as a baby more times than anyone can count because there’s no way somebody in their right mind would willingly give him the time of day when he’s treated them as shitty as Eddie has treated you. He nearly ran you over, for Christ's sake.
Still, Eddie doesn’t falter, “No. Probably spit in it on your way here.”
You laugh, and it irks Eddie in a way that makes him want to shiver as if the sound were nails scraping against a chalkboard. He distracts himself with a drag of his cigarette as you say, “I didn’t, but thanks for the idea.”
Eddie grunts in response, focusing on the last of his smoke as you tell him you’ll see him inside before walking up the rest of the stairs. Eddie barely acknowledges you as you pass him, but he acknowledges the sound of something dropping beside his feet. He looks down with pinched eyebrows, eyeing the notebook lying on the wet ground.
It’s your notebook— obviously— he’d know that stupid journal from anywhere. It’s a pale yellow with two leather straps you like to tie in a lousy bow, and Eddie believes it’s an annoying color, but he thinks that has more to do with the fact that you chose it. Mindlessly, Eddie picks it up, shaking off the rainwater before it seeps into the pages, and he turns to give it to you because he’d assumed you realized you dropped it, but you’re gone.
Eddie blinks, eyeing the door and the book in his hands, and Eddie knows he should just follow you and give it back because that’s the right thing to do. Knows he shouldn’t peek inside to see what your mind is like, knows you’d probably kill him because Eddie would do the same if anyone looked into his thousands of journals back home, but his fingers itch, and before he can stop himself, he’s flicking his cigarette bud away, leaning against the building and cracking the front page open.
Eddie’s not sure what he’d expected. Maybe something interesting, like a list of dudes you’ve fucked or some rant about a friend, but Jesus, how much more boring could you get? Grocery lists, reminders to book appointments, dates for work meetings, boring shit that Eddie could care less about. He flicks through nearly half of the book before anything piques his interest, snickering when he comes across a page of you talking about a guy named Danny, “What a sap,” Eddie mumbles to himself, softly chuckling and turning the page.
He flips through a few more pages before halting because Eddie's name is right at the top of the page.
The door opens, and he jumps, fearing you might be searching for your lost journal, but it’s only a staff member. Eddie watches them trot down the steps before returning to the treasure in his hands, eagerly reading as if the book will turn to dust before he gets a chance.
And Eddie thinks he’s fucked up, screwed up in ways he never really wants to address. Despite Eddie’s outwardly attitude of thinking he’s the best at everything and knows all, there are still ugly parts of him that he so badly wants to reach inside and pull like weeds from a garden, crack his chest open, and take it from the root; pieces of him that can make him crumble quicker than a house of cards on a rickety table.
However, the way you write about Eddie— the words you use and the so careful placement of each thought— it makes Eddie feel something he forgot he ever could about himself, and he doesn’t like how it makes his insides twist. He hates it. Eddie hates that you can read him as if he’s a fucking children’s book. Hates that you can see and point out parts of him that have been lost for so long he’d thought it was a dream. He can’t stand it.
But as much as Eddie swears he hates what you’ve written and as much as he hates that it makes him feel something other than disdain, he can’t stop reading. He wants to read all you can say about him and only exist in the imagery you create of him because Eddie, for once in a long time, is someone in your eyes.
You write about Eddie like he is a person, a human being with real feelings and depth and a history of memories you’ve never seen or heard of before, but you still somehow manage to paint him so clearly. Inside your words, Eddie exists as more than the entity that fame has created him to be, and Eddie can’t remember the last time he read something about himself and didn’t feel like a pawn.
It’s… refreshing.
Eddie flips the page, thinking there will be more you’ve written about him, but he’s selfishly disappointed when he realizes it’s just a personal entry. He scans the page, nearly deciding to close it for the day, when he catches a glimpse of a familiar name— Gareth.
It takes Eddie a moment to fully grasp the words you’ve written, the meaning of what exactly you’re explaining that you’d apparently discussed with Gareth. As soon as he lets the words settle into his chest, he’s storming into the building quicker than he can comprehend.
Bursting through the room of Richie's rented studio, Eddie makes a beeline for the sound booth where Gareth is busy tapping out a steady beat.
Eddie barely acknowledges you and the rest of the band in discussion off to the side, but his abrupt appearance has halted all conversation in the room. He storms up to Gareth behind his drum set and wastes no time gripping the man’s collar, gaze lit with fire and words seething as he leans in and glares down at the man. The room goes silent as soon as the question leaves Eddie’s lips, “Did you fuck Chrissy?”
Chrissy Cunningham was Eddie Munson’s high school sweetheart.
As the story goes, Eddie spent the better part of high school crushing on the cute captain of the cheerleading squad. For as long as he can remember, Eddie had been labeled as the school freak— something to do with his love of fantasy games and ‘odd music taste’— so he’d never imagined he would get a chance with Chrissy, but that all changed after a weird spiral of events they experienced together.
Eddie and Chrissy dated for a few years until Corroded Coffin went big. The long-distance trial of their relationship didn’t last long; Eddie rarely called Chrissy, and when he did call, they could only ever find time to argue about whatever Eddie had been photographed doing. Chrissy never came to watch the band once they moved out to LA, and she broke Eddie's heart the one time she did.
So, it’s no surprise that reading the words in your journal has twisted the knife that’d been lodged in Eddie’s chest for so long that he was sure he couldn’t feel it anymore— he was wrong.
Gareth is looking at Eddie as if Eddie has asked him if the sky is blue and Eddie’s mind is a whirling wind of fire. “What are you talking about, man?” Gareth’s eyebrows pinch in confusion.
Eddie sneers and pulls him closer, Gareth leaning so far off his stool that Eddie's grip on his shirt is the only thing keeping him from the ground. Gareth drops his drumsticks to grab Eddie’s wrists as Eddie speaks, “Don’t bullshit me, Gareth. Did you fuck Chrissy, yes or no?”
Eddie looks at his best friend, and he sees lies, something he’s never had to associate with their friendship, and it almost hurts him more than what Chrissy did. Gareth stutters, shaking his head as if he wants to say no, tries to say no and deny that he slept with his best friend's girlfriend, but he can’t.
Gareth whispers Eddie’s name so quietly Eddie nearly misses it, but the quiver in his voice is all Eddie needs to hear to know the truth. Eddie doesn’t take a second to think before he cracks a closed fist down on his best friend's cheek, sending him back, crashing into the symbols in a clatter of noise.
He doesn’t wait to hear Gareth’s spew of apologies, and he doesn’t wait to listen to the pathetic excuses he makes up because he’s marching over to you next, a scowl on his face as he tosses your journal into your lap, and you look up at him in shock, “You dropped this on your way in.”
And if this is the end of Corroded Coffin, then Eddie’s sure you’ll have one hell of a story to write. That’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?
A good story.
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part three
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a/n: AHH U MADE IT TO THE END, PLS LET ME KNOW HOW U LIKED THIS PART I LOVE TO HEAR UR FEEDBACK, ILY BYE
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