#Jorjais

[violent-kurumi]

Some highlights from recent matches~

That was my first match with this new blaster- it's very fun!

HELP I DON'T LIKE THE EXPLOSHER 😭

Okay so there were a couple of defeats but I felt like I played alright 😅

[miraruinada]

Jorjais Elmo Cuauhcoatl Granja

ALIAS: Mystic Killer, Foolish Sage, Old Youth OCCUPATION: Philosopher, Teacher, Social Critic AGE: 73 BIRTHDAY: January 27 HEIGHT: 6'1’’ WEIGHT: Worldwide EYE COLOR: Gray HAIR COLOR: Gray FAVORITE FOOD: Cahuamanta, maguey liquor, high tar cigarettes FAVORITE COLOR: Red LIKES: Spending time in his study, reading, people DISLIKES: Spending time in his study, reading, people

PERSONALITY:

“Pity the nation that needs a hero.”

Contradictory to the extreme, Granja appears at first glance as a sour, tired, grumpy loner. Which is true, but Granja is also proud, arrogant, and convinced of his own importance. At the same time, he is a severe introvert, racked with social anxiety at the thought of even talking to others for extended periods of time.

Holing up in his study smoking and drinking while continuing his lifelong project of mapping out the mechanism of all reality and unreality, he also doesn't like spending much time alone and holds a form of neurotic distance with the very philosophy he set forth that gained him fame.

As strange as it seems, he both loves and hates everything that surrounds him and who he is: he genuinely loves his work as a philosopher, genuinely enjoys his hobbies, and genuinely hopes that people learn from his teachings. At the same time, his own philosophical pursuits are what caused him multiple nervous breakdowns and caused him to receive scorn and derision from the wider academic world in his lifetime, leading to an equal amount of shame and hatred of everything he's done.

All his years trying to teach but being brushed off as nothing but a madwoman has left him bitter at people, despite his goal always having been to bring philosophy to people. He's now a pessimist bordering on misanthropic tendencies.

He uses provocative language to make his points. He won't spend time with people he doesn't find worth being around. He detests the classic plucky hero.

BACKGROUND:

A philosopher.

TRIVIA:

Smoking and drinking are habits he picked up to calm his social anxiety.

While cahuamanta is his favorite dish, he doesn't like seafood much. He prefers eating grilled meats.

He spends more time in his study than in his bedroom.

His physique is pretty weak due to age and lack of exercise.

[adiariomx]

Las compañías seleccionadas son: Bethlem Teatro, Escena 4, Grupo de Títeres Cachiripa, Jorjais, Contrastez, Marvolo, North Vibes, La Parvada, Frontera...

[t-for-tempestuous]

The Mugiwara's are really taking a toll on Trafalgar Law..🤣

[joudeventuredrawin]

[youabandonedthem]

Slick dog ownership history and detailed breakdown

this is a story about a few of slicks dogs that he captures from various sources and takes home and how long they get to live before droog has had it and cooks them and serves them for dinner (based on a true story)

there is a timelapse of a few months between each dog but the time may vary. the photos represent the approximate appearance matching the breed

Mikey Fags

Slick found it in an alley and took it to the hideout where deuce named it Mikey and it began humping droog’s leg so slick christened it Mikey Fags. he calls it “he” and kept the name even after boxcars checked and found out that it is "actually a bitch." Boxcars actually respects it and calls it she and deuce interchangeably uses he or she or sometimes they when he cant remember .

it lives chained to a wallpost outside their house and subsists on a nutritionally complete (for dogs) diet of slicks leftovers because he has a jordan Peterson diet. He lets it inside sometimes but droog HATES this and resolves to cook it around the 3rd time it enters and he finds a singular dog hair on his tie. Deuce also built a "nice doghouse" but the chain doesnt reach and whenever it rains she curls up outside the entrance sad and whet.

Slick sees this scene one day when he goes to feed it during a storm and lets it inside where it proceeds to shake off all the mud and wet onto their furniture and walls. Then droog walks in and just stares and the dog is so excited to see him and runs up tracking mud and dripping and jumps up and puts its muddy paws on his shoulders. it possibly licks his face. that moment seals her fate as tomorrows dinner. Mikey Fags is cooked by the next day. slick wonders where he went and Droog says it must have gotten lost in the rain...

The universal trait of these dogs that slick picks up is that they are drooglet loving animals even though he grabs them by the neck to shove them away from him and does not indulge them with any treats or attention. when he is sitting reading his newspaper the dog will trot up to him and he keeps angling his newspaper to block it out. the dog inserts its head onto his lap and he will put his hand on its face and slowly push it away. The dog will climb onto his lap and he pushes it off. the scene is like when patriarches are against getting a puppy until it arrives and it's so loving and cute that he becomes its biggest fan but instead of smiling and laughing and falling in love for the first time as it licks his face with soppy tongue he just snaps its neck.

Jorje

mexican hairless that lived in a pet shop in a big money district. slick has been eyeing it in the windows for weeks and convinced the crew to rob the store but while they're getting the cash he just takes the dog and says some shit about oh they can hold it for ransom or sell it off on the dark web since it's a rare exotic breed theyll get fat cash. then it ends up staying at the hideout for excessively long before droog deals with it. This one also managed to evade his wrath for longer due to not having hair (aside from the mohawk) to get onto his clothes but enough is enough...

When they bring it home these are the crew's reactions: Deuce says aww he's so cute it's sad we havta sell em awww can we keep em boss awww. Boxcars comments on how a dog could be worth so much it's just a dog. Droog has narrowed eyes and saw through slick since the beginning (not that boxcars didn't but droog is the one to be offended over this) but all he says is that he should get rid of it quickly and find people who will buy it. Slick is debating over what to name it shortly afterwards and whinging to droog, what do i name it, it's a MEXICAN... Droog does not look up from his paper and says give it a mexican name. why are you naming it when we're selling it soon. Slick is already researching mexican names and remembers the name of the last hispanic person he talked to and christens it Jorje except he pronounces it JorJay. Deuce interprets this as georgie. Boxcars knows the name is supposed to be jorje but when he refers to it he just says ...georgie. Droog does not refer to it or any of the other dogs by name.

It is obvious slick will not look for any prospective buyers himself so droog does this and tells him he's contacted so and so about the dog and they seem interested... Slick's eyes go wide for a second and he almost says WHATT?!? but he says Yeah, of course, good. Droog begins to arrange meetups with the possible buyers that slick thwarts without fail so that they'll always back out. it is like a little game they play with each other without talking about it once even though they both know the other knows exactly what theyre doing. Slick will be the one supposed to bring it to the meeting and he comes half an hour late lumbering by with the dog on a pink leash with heartpattern and yelling AAWWWAAW AAUUHH HHH AWAWAWW making a show of it nipping his arm with its teeth and then he gets there and it immediately pisses and then bites a buyers arm. droog is staring. Slick launches into a story hysterically fake laughing and says aww this one time, this is such a great story I love this fucking thing, this one time it shat all over the new couch...and before i could even clean it up, it tore the whole thing to SHREDS so i didnt even have to!!! classic JOR-JAYYY

When the buyers obviously reject they're both walking home. droog is silent and slick is laughing going AWW that went HORRIBLY!!! did you see the look on their faces when i told them about the special texture of its shits hahaha i guess we have to keep this thing now until the next masochist comes up i mean what, a, shame. hahaha!!! Then he begins open mouth kissing the

Anyway the teaching of these aggressive tactics eventually lead to jorje chewing or pissing on droog's hat or one of his jackets which signals the end for him. Droog says the felt killed it and it was very unfortunate because it was such an expensive dog.

of corpse there are a lot more doglets that slick finds and droog cooks but the basic idea is conveyed and there can be addendums in the future. although a lot of them probably have a similar story to mikey fags so any outliers can be the ones to be noted. There are a few more potential dogs for slick:

^^^General way that they look when slick plucks them from the street

[doteuamigosecreto]

Uma grande equipa hoje nasceu

Longa vida aos Jorjais!

[komokokaymenta-blog]

Mi papá con sus perras!! Mis hermosas y apestosas y castrosas criaturitas. Cada una con una historia singular de llegada a casa, cada con una personalidad inconfundible. Tan hermosas. #AtaquePerruno #Zooka #TiaBerrinches #Jorjais #Piña #Ñuky #Piñuky #Colada #Chilindrina #Chili #Chiliwilli Bodoques en el horno aaaa <3 Si hay una gorda, una obesa y una embarazada en esas fotos ho y mi papá @mr.ateidnem

[worderlandpage]

Como envidio a esas personas que usan gorro y se ven bien, yo me pongo gorro y me parezco al jorjais.

[miraruinada]

"Death!….belongs to the dimension of faith! …Your belief that you will die is correct… It sustains you! If you did not believe!…could you bear the life you have? If we could not totally rely on this certainty…that it will end!…how could we bear all this? …If we didn’t believe we were going to die!...we wouldn’t act!…we couldn’t bear the suffering of life! The fact that we have a finite time on this planet is what drives us!…to do anything. Nevertheless, it is but a leap of faith! …And to top it all, you're not even sure! But even so…that's where the act of belief becomes so strong."

The Cemanahuacan philosopher Jorjais Granja revolutionized philosophy through a simple slogan: know thyself! But everybody will start fighting as soon as his name is mentioned. Because of his complicated style and his preference for cryptic forms of writing, he is ill-reputed as elitist by many. Others think that this exactly makes him a genius and follow his theories completely.

"He also liked talking slowly and with sudden bursts of energy..."

[reydelchistecom]

No entiendo como le hacen los que se ponen gorros para el frío y se ven muy bien, yo con gorro me parezco al Jorjais de Vecinos https://ift.tt/3cFMhIb

[ruba-swag]

Liked on YouTube: "BIENVENIDOS A Don Jorjais 👨‍🦰" https://youtu.be/XFcHoNH08sw

[jtorresposadas]

Comienza la entrega de uniformes para vectores Orizaba, llegan de avanzada los protectores de pelonas al estilo Jorjais. Gracias por los logros obtenidos para nuestra jurisdicción... (en Jurisdiccion Sanitaria 7 Orizaba) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqQrmTPHKli7TjVkbpi-3PnBYkzwnwweEb5w100/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=iunec4mpi5zn

[miraruinada]

"He's been slamming that thing for an hour."

"When I catch that wizard."

Click click.

"When I catch that wizard."

Click click.

"When I catch that wizard."

Click click.

"Finish your sentence, Jorjais."

[miraruinada]

Tell Gallo to drop a bomb on this shit So many bombs, ring the alarm, like Tollan on this shit So many bars, make Ludriq think he's serving time on this shit One at a time, I line 'em up and gun 'em down just for kicks I'm in a destructive mode if the throne exists I'm important like the pope, I'm a marabout on pork I'm Machiavelli's offspring, the King of Port-A'cole Of Zepacna Coast, one hand, I juggle em both The juggernaut's all in your jugular, you take me for jokes Live in the basement, wood pews, and funeral faces Cartier bracelets for my good friends, I'm in Vegas Who the fuck y'all thought it's supposed to be? If Granja came back, still not mastering me I'm unconquerable, I'm unsociable, fuck y'all clubs! Fuck y'all pictures! Your aesthetics can gobble these nuts! I'm the same man that put the whole world on a crutch This is not for the fan of *****, I'm aiming straight for your pelvis You can't stomach me? You plan on stumping me? I've been shot before you put a gun on me I put one on yours, I'm Sean Connery, judgement to the monarchy James Bonding with none of you, respectfully And I'm gonna get it even if you're in the way And if you're in it, better run for Pete's sake

I heard the rebel groups in great debates all the time Who's the best commander: Iggy, Jehtin, and the rest of y'all New leaders just new leaders, don't get involved And that goes for all of you in my orbit Is what you doing truly for the love of it? Take on the mantle or stay entangled I'm not here to tango, I'm here to strangle Anacaona, Hugo, Zavalla, Lomendja Massimo, Jorjais, know it's wrap when I'm coming for ya Show it's revolutionary before Mondragon spray it up on y'all Prove it's us or the game is up and I run up on y'all I got love for all y'all, but I'm tryna murder all y'all Tryna make sure none of your friends never heard all y'all They don't wanna hear one word or verb from all y'all What is competition? I'm tryna raise the bar high Who's tryna jump and get it? You're better off tryna skydive Out the exit window of five G5s with your grandad as pilot He drunk as fuck, tryna land with the hand full of arthritis Bumpin Hoc in the cockpit so the shit that pops in his head Is an option of violence, someone heard the stewardess said That your parachute is a latex condom hooked to soggy bread

[miraruinada]

Jorjais Granja gives moving speech at UCAT 77DM graduation (standing ovation)

I got the meat musket. I'm strokin' the meat musket goin' crazy. I be shootin' ropes with the meat musket. I started this shit! I shoot nut and I got high off the chlorine smell. Hellcat SRT, this ain't a V6! I travelled through Cemanahuac to get more pussy.

[elderly groaning]

Ferragamo belt on my waist. Goyard pins holdin' down my hair. Smokin' that spice… We smoking Yucatan. Smoking on that Bushwick Salamander Moxie Pack! I ate Five-MeO DMT Frog Nuggets, where am I?

I'm pushin' weight. I'm pushin' weight! I'M PUSHIN' WEIGHT! I'M PUSHIN'!

[elderly groaning again]

[bursts into laughter, then stops]