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yuta-nakamots · 4 years ago

Text

Playing Games - n.yt

Pairing - Frat Boy!Yuta x Reader

Genre - College!AU, Fluff, Smut, Slight Angst

Warnings - Safe sex, swearing, alcohol consumption

Summary - Yuta is a notorious frat boy known for sleeping around with tons of girls yet never getting into a relationship. You never would have thought you’d become entangled with him until fate ends up placing both of you in the same beginner guitar class during your spring semester.

Word Count - 11.2k

A/N - i do not condone or promote the behavior or fraternities or sororities, especially during COVID-19, read a bit about it here. i am simply writing about my own fantasy in my own ideal world. with that being said, please remember to wear your masks and stay safe out there. this one shot will be my first work with smut in it so i’m open to pretty much any and all feedback. special thank you to @neocitybynight for helping me work out some of the plot!

Tag List - @jisungismymom @jikooksgirl19 @jungcity @boiolay @yasmini24

Written for the Bingo Collab hosted by @legendnct. Check out the masterlist here.

Prompts;

"Baby, I’m afraid to fall in love. ‘Cause what if it’s not reciprocated?” – Pink Sweat$ - Honesty

“So won’t you say my name, say my name?”– summer walker - playing games

“Don’t follow me, you’ll end up in my arms” – Joji - SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK

“Can you focus on me? Baby can you focus on me?”– H.E.R - focus

“Oh, how I love you. I just feel so lost without you.”– McKay & Jeff Bernat - Angel 2 Me

It’s the first day of your second semester of college and you’re starting to rethink your decision of signing up for Guitar 101 as you step into the classroom. You don’t remember what pushed you to add this course to your schedule other than the fact that it would knock off two off your graduation requirements, though surely there were other courses that could’ve done that as well.

You were quite the beginner to guitar, having only touched one maybe only a few times in your life and you were sure that you absolutely would not have ever thought about taking Guitar 101 if it wasn’t for your friend Mark, who had suggested it to you.

Mark is a sweet guy and you just so happened to have the pleasure of meeting last semester in your math class. He had walked in late on the first day and took the seat next to you as he muttered something about the campus being too big and not having building names displayed clearly.

Your friendship truly started the day he came in without any of his belongings, not even his backpack. “I, uh, woke up late and ran to class. Literally.” You could tell from the way sections of his hair were standing up and how his white t-shirt was inside out, but you didn’t tell him that.

“If it’s okay with you, can you send me your notes later?” He asked, his eyes resembling that of boba. Mark let out an audible sigh of relief when you agreed and handed him your phone to type in his number. As soon as he gave it back to you, you sent him a message to make sure he typed it correctly and it was at that moment that Mark realized, after a whole month of sitting next to you and occasionally working together, he had yet to remember your name.

‘Hey, this is y/n. Still can’t believe you forgot your backpack’

The two of you fit together like puzzle pieces and you always did your work together at any given opportunity, finding that two heads are definitely better than one when it came to calculus. Sometimes working on projects together often led to you and Mark spending more time together and eventually leading both of your guys’ friends to speculate that you were dating, to which you insisted was not true.

Your friends seemed to understand and leave it be, though Mark’s friends were a whole different story. He was part of one of the newest frats on campus which had come to fame due to their good-looking members, not a single one of them falling even a hair short of having god-tier visuals. You recognized a few of them, having been to their frat house a couple of times to work on projects with Mark though most of them were older than you so it came as a surprise to you when you saw one of them in your beginner guitar class.

You didn’t know his name but he was easy to remember with his long black hair and his ever-changing fashion sense. Today, he resembled something out of a motorcycle magazine with his maroon leather jacket, black ripped jeans, and the bandana tied around his head.

You watched as he took a seat in the front of the room though you had enough sense to turn your attention back to the professor who had started class and was displaying a list of names with corresponding locker numbers that housed the guitar you’d be using.

Standing up with the rest of the class, you went to go find your own locker and let out a sigh of relief when you saw it was on the bottom row because that meant less effort to take it in and out rather than if you had one on the top row.

Right as you popped your lock open, a shadow was cast over you and you turned around to see Mark’s friend who was even more stunning up close. He flashed you a quick smile along with an apology as he moved to the side to give you more room and allow you to grab your guitar out from the locker.

You were just slightly irritated at the guy. People with good looks knew how to use them to their advantage and this man obviously knew what he was doing. Had he been sane, he could’ve just waited for you to get your stuff out before getting his own, but instead, he chose to tower over you as you were crouching down on the floor.

Your eyes followed his figure as he made his way back to his seat in the front of the room, sitting down in front of the professor and you rolled your eyes knowing that he’s going to have an ego as tall as a skyscraper.

Aside from your encounter with the nameless e-boy, your first class went pretty okay though you were already having a little trouble remembering which chords were which so you sent a text to Mark asking for tips. He responds a few minutes later with fingering charts and even offers to tutor you, which you gladly accept.

You and Mark had appointed Wednesday afternoons and Sunday mornings as your lesson times and the first time you visit him is on the former. It was February so the weather was still quite cold though it wasn’t cold enough to make you regret not wearing a thicker jacket.

Before you could even text Mark that you’re outside the frat house, the door opens and he pulls you in, visibly shivering due to only being in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. “Not so Canadian are you, huh?” You joke at him, seeing the once thick-skinned boy now struggling to warm himself up as he practically ran up the stairs to his room.

You followed him up, greeting his roommate, Taeil, when you passed him in the hallway. Taeil was the oldest member of the frat and was set to graduate at the end of the semester. He had you absolutely fooled when you first met him. His personality reminded you of a golden meadow or a sunny beach but he was a total animal when it came to parties though Mark had told you that you’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg.

Having seen Taeil out in the hallway, you thought you and Mark would be the only ones in the room so you weren’t expecting to see the same guy from guitar class lying around on Mark’s bed. “Yuta, this is y/n, y/n meet Yuta.”

Yuta gave you that same smile you saw on the first day of class as he told Mark, “oh, I know her, she’s in my guitar class.”

“Dude, that’s so cool. You guys can work together on projects and the playing tests then. Man, that course would’ve been way more fun if I could play with someone I knew.” You shot Mark an awkward smile as if telling him to move on because you highly doubted that you’d ever want to work with Yuta, especially if his ego was as big as you thought it was. He’d call you out left and right for even the tiniest mistakes and you didn’t want to put yourself through that.

Mark cleared his throat while grabbing his guitar and handing it to you, and Taeil’s guitar to Yuta. “Yeah so, uh, anyway, I thought it would be better to teach you guys at the same time since you both are at the same level if that’s okay with you.” Mark’s question was obviously aimed towards you however Yuta answered first without any hesitation.

“Works for me.” Yuta looked over to you, strands of his white locks falling in front of his eyes though it didn’t dampen the intensity of his gaze in the slightest.

You didn’t exactly like the idea of playing with an audience, even if it was just Yuta. But if he was a beginner like you, then theoretically the playing field should be even. It was only because of this did you nod your head, telling Mark, “sure.”

Your first lesson with Mark consisted of his retaught both you and Yuta the fundamentals and basic chords you had already learned, making sure that your hands and fingers were placed the right way. Yuta, who was having a harder time than you, let out an exasperated sigh as he leaned back against the wall next to Mark’s bed while he ripped open a bag of gummy bears. “Whoever gets the fingerings right first gets a gummy bear.”

“Okay, bet.” Not really one for competition, you wanted to refuse his proposal, but this guy was really getting on your nerves. It was as if he had no interest yet all the passion in the world. And that’s aside from the fact that you simply wanted to continue showing him up and proving that you weren’t such a pushover and he can’t simply bend you to his will.

The three of you became so wrapped up in the competition that you didn’t even notice that you were supposed to leave to get to your last class of the day, which was now starting in five minutes. When you glanced over at the clock on Mark’s desk, you practically jumped out of your seat, “holy shit, I’m gonna be late to class.”

“I can drive you if you want.” Yuta offered.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” You weren’t exactly lying but you weren’t entirely telling the truth as you declined him. It was an eight-minute walk away but you could probably make it in six if you did your Black Friday walk and surely your professor wouldn’t mind if you were just a minute late.

Mark helped you gather your belongings and held his door open for you. “Alright, see you y/n. I’ll set an alarm next time so we don’t forget.” He said with a slight laugh in his voice.

As you stepped out of the frat house, you just couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to Yuta. He barely even knew you yet he had offered to drive you to class, even though your campus wasn’t particularly large. There was something about that man that made you want to run for your life but also just stop and stare at him all day.

The second time you had a lesson with Mark is on a Sunday morning and you’re pleasantly surprised to see that Yuta is nowhere to be found as you set foot into Mark’s room. After placing your bag down next to Mark’s desk, you pick up Taeil’s guitar and join him on his bed while he quietly plays a song to himself.

“Yuta’s still knocked out from the party we had yesterday so I doubt he’ll be joining us.” Mark informed you, and his statement rang true as Yuta did not come in during all of the three hours you spent next to Mark, much to your relief. Instead, Taeil had come in, looking terribly hungover.

“Hey, what’s up man.” Is all Taeil got to say before rolling into his bed, putting in a single Airpod before falling asleep, much to both you and Mark’s amusement.

Mark had tried to teach you basic chord sequences and strumming patterns but your brain just wasn’t having it. He kept giggling at seeing you frustrated and you had to repeatedly tell him to shut up in fear of waking Taeil so eventually both of you decided to call it a day as you put the guitars back on their stands.

You got back onto the bed next to Mark as both of you played on your phones for a bit before he turned his off and turned to talk to you. “Hey, y/n, so the guys are throwing this party next week Saturday and I was wondering if you’d want to come.”

“Next Saturday...Valentine’s Day?” You ask as you check your calendar on your phone.

“Yeah. You don’t have to though if you already have other plans.” Mark blurted out.

You laughed at the thought of actually going on a date on Valentine’s Day. “Didn’t have any plans besides ordering take-out and watching Netflix.”

Mark laughed along with you. “So is that a yes?”

“Sure.”

“Do you wanna sleepover too since you’re gonna be here on Sunday morning anyway?” You raised an eyebrow at Mark, wondering if he was actually serious.

“Sounds convenient but then where are you gonna sleep?” You countered.

“Uh, in Taeil’s bed.” Mark said, the gears in his head almost visibly turning.

“And where is he going to sleep?” You ask, not wanting to cause the kind senior any extra stress from having to deal with Mark as a roommate on top of his impending graduation.

Mark reached up and scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know, probably somewhere on the floor downstairs.” Your eyes grew wide at his statement. “Okay wait, before you yell at me, Taeil always gets too hammered to make it back up to the room until like, Sunday afternoon as you clearly just saw.” He explained, gesturing to his sleeping body on the other side of the room.

“Okay, then. But if he gets mad, it’s your fault, your idea, not mine.”

By the time Valentine’s Day came around, you were more than ready for it to end, having been annoyed by all the lovey-dovey advertisement and the couples posting on Instagram and holding hands and kissing wherever you went. You had always heard that love finds its way to those who are least expecting it, which is why you gave up the thought of ever pining over a guy who was likely to reject you anyway. Though, sure enough, love really did find a way of messing with your life in more than one way.

When you arrived at the party, you had first gone up to Mark’s room to drop off your bag that held your change of clothes and personal hygiene supplies. You don’t know what you were expecting to see when you entered his room, but you certainly weren’t expecting to see Mark’s bare ass while he was fucking into a girl in his bed, the same bed you were supposed to sleep in at the end of the night. “Oh, shit, fuck, sorry y/n, can you just uh, come back in a bit-”

You were pretty sure you were just as embarrassed as Mark, shouting “alright, have fun dude” as you closed the door. You turned around to search for somewhere else to go, pondering on the idea of just going back to your dorm after the party and walked right into Taeil.

“Should I not go in there?” He asked, having seen the way you backed out of the room and closed the door.

“Not unless you wanna see Mark’s butt.”

“Eh, I see it from time to time, can’t be any worse than usual.”

“Taeil, no” you exclaim, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him away before he could open the door.

“Oh, you mean to see his butt while he’s doing that kind of thing, I get it now.” He said with a playful glint in his eyes. “Were you planning on sleeping over?” He asked, having noticed the duffel bag hanging from your shoulder.

You let out a sigh before answering. “Yeah, I was gonna sleep in Mark’s bed and he was gonna sleep in yours since he said you apparently get too fucked up to make it back to the room.” At which Taeil laughs as he nodded his head, acknowledging the statement.

“He’s certainly not wrong,” Taeil confirmed, “did you want to put that down somewhere? I can let you keep it in our lounge room during the party. It’s a members-only room so you can just ask one of the guys to open it for you later in case I’m already out.”

You can’t help but giggle at Taeil’s joke as you accept his offer, following him down the hallway to a door where he punches in some numbers onto a keypad before opening it. Your jaw dropped when you looked inside, being met with a huge U-shaped couch facing the back wall where a large TV was mounted. “What do you guys even do in here?”

“Usually just gaming, sometimes watching big sports matches. Just normal guys stuff. We agreed to no sex, drugs, or alcohol in here so it’s like a safe room of sorts I guess.” Taeil explained to you.

“Huh, didn’t think you guys would have something like this.” You told him as you placed your duffle bag against the wall near the door.

“Frat life isn’t just all about getting high and drunk you know, y/n,” he said, playfully scoffing at you, “but speaking of, would you like to get a drink downstairs?” You nod your head before walking alongside Taeil as he places an arm around your shoulders, guiding you down to the party.

As you pass by Mark’s room along the way to the stairs, both you and Taeil share a laugh as you could hear the faint noises of sex through the door, though you really just wanted to erase the image of Mark’s ass from your head. Taeil seems to understand this much as he takes you to the kitchen and tells Doyoung, the frat’s resident entrepreneur with a side hobby for mixology, to get you something strong.

You’ve met Doyoung a couple of times, though you only exchanged short greetings since you were always doing something with Mark. “Where’s your boyfriend?” He inquired.

“Who?”

“Mark.”

“Oh, we’re not dating. He’s in his room though.”

“Sure seems like you’re dating. Why isn’t he here with you?”

Taeil responds, saving you from having to explain to Doyoung. “He’s getting lucky with some other girl.”

Doyoung’s eyes go wide as he responds, “that’s a first for him.”

You were about to ask what he meant by that but you’re interrupted by loud yells coming from the living room, causing you to turn around and see what was going on. You spot Yuta standing up on the makeshift DJ booth in the corner of the room with Johnny, who you recognized as your TA in your English class, as he grabbed the microphone and shouted “let’s get fucking drunk” before Johnny could manage to yank it out of his grasp and turn it off.

“What’s with that guy?” You mumble to yourself, not really expecting Doyoung to overhear you.

“Oh, Yuta? He’s just like that sometimes.” Doyoung states, shrugging his shoulders as he wiped the kitchen counter with a towel. “He’s that one friend who does really questionable things but you can’t get rid of them because deep down they’re actually pretty nice.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You think he’s nice?”

“He is once you get to know him.”

You look at Taeil for reaffirmation only to find that said man is long gone, the only evidence of him ever being there is his yellow phone left lying on the counter next to Doyoung’s own drink. “I’ve gotten to know him and I wouldn’t say he’s nice, per se.”

Doyoung shakes his head at you, “you just haven’t cracked him open yet.”

“Why do you talk as if he’s an egg or something?” You joke laughing to yourself and watching as Doyoung fights back a smile.

“He is, in a sense. He’s got a tougher exterior along with his own inner issues that come tumbling out once he trusts you.”

“Like?”

Doyoung hums in thought before speaking. “I’m not gonna say too much because it’s his life and his own story to tell, but let me just ask you this one question. Don’t you ever wonder why he constantly sleeps around with girls yet never gets into a relationship with any of them?”

You ponder on the question before asking one back. “So are the rumors true?” Yuta’s reputation did precede him and you had, in fact, heard from other girls who had their own stories and adventures with Yuta but you didn’t necessarily believe them completely, not wanting to assume anything about Yuta.

“Some, not all...but yes, most of the ones I have heard were true, but maybe that’s just because people know I live with him so there’s no sense in trying to lie around me.” Doyoung responds to which you nod your head, acknowledging the accuracy behind his statement.

Three shots later of whatever Doyoung was making you, you were already starting to feel hot and lightheaded so you went back upstairs, as per Doyoung’s advice, and made your way to Mark’s room hoping he’d be done by now. You cracked his door open and peeked around it, grumbling to yourself as you saw your best friend and the same girl from earlier wrapped up in his blanket. You weren’t too sure where you were going to sleep tonight and you weren’t too keen on walking back to your dorm this late at night, especially when you were already starting to feel tipsy.

Closing the door quietly, not wanting to disturb the two people inside, you step away from the room, only to run into someone behind you. You spun around, ready to apologize until you realized who it was. Yuta, a quite drunk Yuta too.

“Taeil told me Mark got lucky-” he stopped to hiccup, “but I didn’t fully believe it so I came to-” he hiccuped again, “see for myself, but I think your action speak-” he reached up to briefly rub his eyes, “louder than words” he finished, letting out a yawn at the end. “Need somewhere to stay?”

“How did you know I was sleeping over?” You ask, wary of the man and his intentions.

He waves his hands as if dismissing your preconceived notions. “Taeil told me that too. Makes sense anyway since you’re here on Sunday’s as well.”

You sighed, not wanting to let yourself give in to Yuta yet again and give him another thing to hold over you, but it wasn’t as if you had many other options. “Taeil let me leave my bag in the lounge, can you unlock the door for me? I think I’ll just ask Doyoung to drive me back to my dorm or something.”

Yuta hummed as he grabbed your wrist and led you down the hallway to the lounge. He unlocked the door for you and held it open, but once both of you were inside, he closed the door behind him and turned on the mood lighting and watched as the room began to glow purple.

You picked up your bag as Yuta threw himself over the backrest of the sofa and tumbled onto the cushions. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?”

“Well, yeah?” You stuttered, taken aback by his sudden comment.

“Damn, I wanted to be the first.”

“Okay?” You said, questioning his antics as Doyoung’s words floated through your head about Yuta and his trysts with girls, not wanting to become another victim.

As if Yuta could hear you thinking, he sat up and peered over the couch just enough to make eye contact with you, his eyes mischievously shining in the low lighting. “Were you gonna sleep with Mark?” He asked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

“What? No,” you exclaim, “he’s my best friend, I would never do that.”

“Not like that you sicko,” Yuta said as he chuckled at your flustered state.

“Oh,” realization dawning upon you, “uh, yeah, I was planning to just sleep in his bed and he was gonna take Taeil’s but now I’m pretty sure that’s not happening tonight.”

“You can stay in my room if you want.” Now it was your turn to raise a suggestive eyebrow at him. “No, it’s not what you’re thinking. My roommate is away in China so his side is open. You can sleep in my bed if you’re not comfortable being in a stranger’s bed.” You were surprised he made it through such a long statement without any hiccups.

“Uh, thanks, I guess I’ll take you up on that offer.” You say, finally unrooting yourself from the floor and making your way towards the door.

Yuta begins haphazardly pulling himself over the back of the couch seeing as how you were ready to leave the room. “I’ll show you to the bathroom.” He would’ve face planted straight into the floor if it weren’t for you standing right in his path of destruction, barely catching him before he nearly sent both of you to the ground. “Sorry” he giggled as he regained his balance and pushed open the door.

You couldn’t mistake the way his body felt against yours, how warm and comforting it was. He smelled nice too, which was odd for someone who partied like an animal and lived with god knows how many other guys. You shook yourself out of your thoughts and grabbed your bag, following Yuta out of the lounge.

He led you to the bathroom and instructed you on how to use the shower and lock the door before telling you how to get to his room once you were done. The bathroom was surprisingly neat but you were sure it was thanks to Doyoung and Taeyong, the only two people you thought had their heads on straight in this house. Even if you had only briefly met both of them, it was enough to let you know that those men were the reason why the house somehow looked presentable within just a few hours after a raging party.

You showered quickly, the effect of Doyoung’s drinks really hitting you now, making you want to just pass out. Once you were done showering you threw on one of Mark’s shirts that you had previously stolen, intending on giving it back to him tonight, but you weren’t comfortable wearing your normal beat up sleepwear in front of Yuta, so you opted to wear Mark’s shirt instead.

Not quite wanting to have another incident like the one you had earlier with Mark, you knocked on Yuta’s door just to be safe. You heard him laugh from the inside as he called out “it’s unlocked, just come in.” As you let yourself in, he got off his bed telling you “I’m going to shower now. Just make yourself comfortable in whichever bed you want. I’ll sleep in whatever one you don’t choose.”

After he left the room, you looked between the two beds. One was neatly made and had pictures strung up on the wall next to it, the blankets and sheets folded nicely and placed alongside a few pillows near the foot of the bed. The other, which Yuta had just rolled out of, had wrinkled sheets with the blanket half falling off the bed, not a single pillow within a whole six-foot radius of his bed.

You didn’t really want to mess up the organization of whoever his roommate was, so instead, you just took one of the pillows and plopped it onto Yuta’s bed as you grabbed the blanket from the floor and pulled it over your head, allowing his scent to flood your nose. Just as you were about to drift into sleep, you heard the door open and close followed by rapid footsteps coming your way.

Before you even had time to react, Yuta was flinging himself on top of you and laughing as you gasped for air under his weight. “Somebody looks comfortable.” He teased as you continued squirming, trying to push him off you.

You wouldn’t take him to be a clingy drunk after seeing how rowdy he was during the party, but you suppose this is the side of him that managed to charm so many other girls into thinking they’d be that one lucky girl to finally win over Nakamoto Yuta’s heart. “Get off of me.” You uttered forcefully as you tried to make him move over and relieve the pressure on your chest and stomach.

“You silly, this is my bed” he cooed, letting another round of giggles leave his lips before rolling off you towards the wall, leaving you on the outside of the bed. He threw the blanket over himself, humming as he felt the warmth of it, that you had made, on his freshly showered skin.

Yuta kept his distance as he laid on his back with his eyes closed, his hands reaching up to ruffle his damp hair, speaking of which, “you know people say you can get sick if you go to sleep with damp hair?” You asked him quizzically.

“Yeah, but I’ve never gotten sick from it so I don’t really care.” He said dismissively.

A few moments passed before either one of you spoke again. “Didn’t you say that you were going to sleep in the other bed?” You questioned, remembering your conversation from not too long ago.

“Yeah, but I’m too lazy to unfold everything and put it back in the morning so here I am.” Yuta beamed, smiling over at you. You rolled your eyes at him, scoffing as he continued playing with his hair, making it stick up in different directions. “I can sleep somewhere else if you’re not comfortable with me being here.”

You wanted to say ‘yes, please move’ but you didn’t have enough strength in you to tell him to get out, not when you enjoyed his presence next to you so instead you simply told him “it’s fine” before tugging over more of his blanket and turning to face away from him.

He let out a whine as now half of his body was uncovered and exposed to the cold winter air and he yanked his blanket back, inadvertently pulling you with it, causing you to face him with your forehead nearly resting against his chest. “Why are you hogging my blanket?” Yuta whined.

“I’m not hogging it, you just keep trying to take more than your fair share of it.” You fired back at him.

“This is my room and my blanket.”

“You’re the one who offered to let me stay here, and might I add, you said you were going to sleep in the bed that I didn’t choose.”

“I can always retract my offer, you know.” You shook your head, the idea of asking Doyoung to drive you back to your dorm at 3am wasn’t exactly appealing to you. “Okay then come closer so we can actually share the blanket instead of leaving one of us to freeze.”

You let out a huff and scooted closer to Yuta. “Are you happy now?” Yuta let out a hum as he smiled down at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling underneath the strands of bleached white hair that had fallen in front of his face.

Closing your eyes again, you tried to fall asleep, hoping that you wouldn’t have any further interruptions from Yuta, but you couldn’t seem to fully relax with the main light of the room still on. “Yuta can you turn off the light?” He looked over you, clearly unhappy. “Please?”

“You’re closer.”

“God, why are you so difficult.” You remarked as you slid out from under the blanket, walking over to flip the light switch.

“I’m not difficult, you’re difficult.” He fired at you as the room became dark, illuminated only from the light of the moon. “You’re always so uptight and on edge about getting to class on time and being prepared.”

“Because that’s what a good student does, and unlike you, I actually want to graduate from college in four years.” You spit back as you rolled back into the bed next to him.

“Hey, not everyone graduates within four years, some of us just have a different path in life. And what makes you think that I’m not trying to graduate soon?”

“Your attitude and your seemingly nonexistent care to even make it to class on time.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t do my work though.”

“But you totally miss the instructions that the professors give at the beginning of class.”

“It’s not hard to figure things out when you’ve got a brain as big as mine.”

“You’re so annoying, just let me sleep.” You grumbled as you moved closer to him, wanting more of the blanket.

Silence falls upon both of you again but you let out a huff when Yuta starts talking again. He sure was annoying as hell when he was drunk. “Do you have feelings for Mark, or like, any other guys...like at all?”

You stared up at him, praying he’d feel the daggers coming from your eyes, “no.”

“Good, I was hoping you didn’t so I could do this.”

“Do wha-”

You hadn’t even finished your sentence before Yuta tilted your chin up and brought his lips to yours, eagerly molding his to fit the shape of yours.

You didn’t know what you were thinking when you started to kiss him back, in fact, you probably weren’t thinking at all. Yuta took it as a green light and let the hand that was against your chin find its way to the back of your neck to pull you in closer. You didn’t realize your body had shifted until you were now completely pressed up against him. It soon became all too hot and suffocating, forcing you to pull away and break the kiss.

Your eyes met his and held his gaze as you came to your senses. “Yuta, I’m not here to have sex with you.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” He replied almost nonchalantly.

You rolled your eyes at him, “no, I mean, like ever.”

“Okay. Who says I can’t just kiss a pretty girl because I want to?” He asked, the attitude in his voice was almost enough to make you want to slap him.

“I do?” You quipped. “I didn’t tell you that you could kiss me either-”

“Says the person who was definitely not kissing me back.” Yuta teased as he cocked an eyebrow at you, daring you to continue.

You flung the blanket off of you, not wanting to put up with any more of his antics. “Don’t use your fuckboy charms on me, I’m not here to become another one of your girls.”

“Y/n, wait, that’s not what I meant to do,” he whined, grabbing your wrist before you could fully get out of the bed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off that way and for your information, I am not attached any of the ‘girls’ you are alluding to.”

“You attached yourself to them the moment you put your dick inside them and gave them something to talk about.”

“That's not what I intended to do.”

“Then what is it that you intend to do, Yuta?”

He paused with his mouth slightly open and you took this moment to separate your wrist from his grasp before he spoke again. “I don’t try to ‘charm’ them or whatever you call it. I’m not even looking for a relationship, trust me.”

“And why should I trust you when you have girls practically throwing themselves at you?”

Yuta let out a groan as he flopped onto his back. “Look, I never wanted to be this blunt with you but I’m not looking for a relationship because the last one I was in ended with me getting cheated on.” He paused as if letting his words sink in. “I don’t want to fall in love again because I don’t want to risk going through that same pain another time. I’m scared to fall in love because what if it’s not reciprocated? Is that enough to make you believe me?”

You stare at him in shock, barely managing to stutter out “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s fine, let’s just go to sleep, I said too much already.” He interrupted, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you back under the blanket. Once you were close enough for his liking, Yuta let go of you, retracting his arm back to his half of the bed though he stopped when he felt your hand on his forearm. He looked up at you with wide eyes as you pulled his arm back over you and allowed your forehead to rest against his chest.

Yuta stayed like that until you fell asleep, finding it hard to do the same. It took him awhile to find himself in the familiar lull due to his thoughts running rampant in his mind as his eyes traced over your features. If only you could read his mind, you’d know of the dilemma he realized he had wrapped himself into that he was too scared to admit on his own.

You woke up with a pounding headache, to say the least. Reaching up to massage your forehead, you tried to roll onto your back only to find that you weren’t able to. You jerked around, finding Yuta’s sleeping body as you remembered the events and conversations that took place just hours prior. You stilled as you took a moment to admire the way the golden rays of sun seeped in through the window, falling across his face and causing him to have an ethereal glow. He’d be quite attractive if it wasn’t for his attitude.

However, his face alone wasn’t enough to distract you from the fact that he was practically spooning you and you weren’t confident that you could get out without waking him though what really irked you was the fact that part of you didn’t want to leave from his warm embrace.

You stayed in his arms for a few minutes longer until your headache became unbearable and your throat was begging for something to drink. You tried your best to gently extract yourself from Yuta but much to your distaste, he woke up. He caused you even more displeasure when he pulled you back towards himself and whined “where are you going?”

“I’m thirsty and I have a headache.” You stated plainly, your voice void of energy.

Yuta whined once more before trying to reason with you. “But it’s cold, it’s cuddle weather.”

“I didn’t say that I wanted to cuddle with you.” You pointed out, at which Yuta finally forced his eyes open as he yawned and stretched before sighing.

“I’ll get you water and some ibuprofen if you stay for a little longer.”

“Fine, but that’s only because I don’t have anywhere else to go.” You were trying to convince him of this as much as you were trying to convince yourself of the statement while he gave you one of the brightest smiles you’ve seen from a full-time college student as he climbed over you and let himself out of the room.

You took this time as an opportunity to use the bathroom and peek into Mark’s room as you made your way back. You were surprised to see there was no one in the room and nearly jumped when an arm wrapped around your waist from the back. “Are we spying on Mark?” Yuta whispered into your ear.

Scoffing, you answer “he’s not even in there, you idiot.”

“Huh, I wonder where he went,” Yuta contemplated, “might as well grab the guitars while we’re here.” He handed you the glass of water and pills he was carrying as he walked into Mark’s room and picked up the two guitars from their stands.

“What are we supposed to do without Mark?”

“Practice? What else are we supposed to do?” The man in front of you asked rhetorically.

You shook your head at him, not liking the sound of his idea. “We won’t know if we’re doing anything right, we’re literally both beginners.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t help each other.” Yuta countered.

“Ugh, whatever, you’re so irritating.” And with that, you down the pills and turn to walk back to his room.

Playing guitar with Yuta wasn’t actually all that terrible. He knew more than he let on during your shared sessions with Mark and he offered you some tips every so often as he led both of you through the chord progression sheet. The whole scene of it was quite surreal, the way you and Yuta were both simply clothed in plain t-shirts, hair still roused from sleep, the way the sun gently lit the room and warmed it up.

You were genuinely enjoying yourself and didn’t even notice when Mark came into the room. “You guys started without me?” He whined cutely.

Yuta looked at you and you gestured at him to respond. “Y/n went to go spy on you in your room but you weren’t there so we decided to steal the guitars and have fun on our own.” You shot Yuta a look, hoping he understood the ‘I will strangle you’ glare you were giving him.

“Wow y/n, why were you spying on me man?” Mark asked dejectedly.

“I was just checking to see if your girl was still with you because I didn’t want to barge in on anything, again.” You tease.

Mark groans and covers his face out of embarrassment. “Oh gosh, don’t remind me.”

“Wait, wait, you saw Mark naked?” Yuta questioned with his eyes wide. “He has a big butt doesn’t he?” He added, smirking, at which both you and Mark yell at him to shut up. “Just saying facts.” He claims, raising his hands up in defense.

“Anyways,” Mark said a little too aggressively, “are you guys doing okay on your own? Or did you want me to join?”

Again, Yuta turned to you for a response, though this time you really hated yourself for what you answered with. “No, I think we’re fine, thanks though.”

“Better go wash your sheets bro, you were wild last night.” Yuta called out as Mark left the room.

“Dude,” Mark exclaimed, “don’t ever say that again, please bro.” And just like that, I was only you and Yuta again.

“Speaking of parties,” Yuta began, “we’re thinking of holding another one in March before spring break. Wanna come?”

“I can’t believe you guys are already planning another one not even a whole day after getting drunk out of your mind.” You joke, the disbelief obvious in your expression.

“Hey, you have to let loose every once in a while,” he states, “but my offer still stands.”

You hum, faking getting lost in thought, “ask me again in a month and I’ll let you know.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” you tilted your head to the side, the look on your face clearly ridiculing him, “for now.” He adds on.

You went back to looking over the chord progression sheet and tried again to go through the one you were on before Mark came in. You almost succeed this time until you place your fingers one fret away from where they were supposed to be. “Yikes” Yuta comments as he reaches out and shifts your hand over for you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him.

It seemed only reasonable that when the guys continued having parties every so often, that you were invited to every single one of them whether it be through Mark or Yuta, and the one time Johnny had hit you up not knowing your involvement with the frat already, or even when Taeil invited you though it was really because Mark needed help sorting out his relationship issues.

Everyone except you was surprised that Mark had found himself a girlfriend, especially one that wasn’t you. You were happy for him, even if it meant having to respond to his panicked texts at 2am asking what something meant in ‘girl language’ accompanied by numerous screenshots.

Mark often ended up leaving you and Yuta on your own on Sundays because that was the only day when both he and his girlfriend were free. You certainly didn’t mind spending more time with Yuta now that he stopped being such a cocky asshole all the time. Whatever absence Mark had left, Yuta was there to make up for it whether it be his lingering touches, shy kisses, and even the offering of his clothes to you when you accidentally ended up sleeping over again, though this time you voluntarily shared a bed with him.

Yuta was becoming a necessary presence in your life, though you didn’t mind. You didn’t mind it when he moved to sit next to you during class. You didn’t mind when he asked to work with you for the upcoming playing test. You didn’t mind when he found you during parties swept you away from the dance floor to take you elsewhere.

You especially didn’t mind when taking you elsewhere resulted in your current situation, your hands tangled in Yuta’s now orange-colored hair, as you lay under him while he kissed you breathless.

“You look so fucking hot, you had all of them staring at you.” Yuta growls out between kisses.

You bite his bottom lip, causing him to groan slightly. “Mmm, you like that though. You like it when I look like this.”

“Not when other men get to look at you the way I do.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re mine.”

The use of the word caused you to stop in your tracks, Yuta pulling back as your lips stopped moving against his. “What are we?” You ask him, your voice shaking.

“What do you mean?”

“Like, this relationship?” You say, gesturing between the two of you, “What is our relationship to each other?”

“We’re friends.”

“But are we just friends? Because I don’t think friends kiss each other like this.”

“They don’t, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.” Yuta interjected as he leaned in to reattach his lips to yours.

“No, Yuta, stop,” you declare, pulling away from him, “I told you I’m not someone you can just play around with. If you want to keep me as a friend, then that’s all we will be. No kissing, no flirting, none of that.”

“I’m not playing around with you-”

“Then why is it so hard for you to place a label on us?” You questioned him, unintentionally raising your voice ever so slightly.

He rolled off of you, throwing an arm up to cover his eyes as he let out a sigh of exasperation. “I...I don’t know.”

“We’re clearly more than just friends but if you’re not willing to commit to being something more, then I’ll leave it at that.”

“Y/n, I- fuck, I don’t know what I even want-”

“And that’s okay,” you interrupt, “I’ll just give you time to think then, but for now,” you pause as you stand up from his bed, “just friends.” And with that you let yourself out of his room and ventured back downstairs to the party without turning back, finding comfort in the common sight of Johnny manning the boards, Doyoung in the kitchen with the drinks, even down to Taeyong and Taeil drunkenly swaying with each other on the dance floor.

“Here, something sweet to get rid of that sour look on your face.” Doyoung joked as he slid a drink across the counter.

You let out a chuckle as you raised the glass to your lips. “That obvious huh?”

“It is when I know whose room you just came from and who you’ve been spending all your time with.” He was really too intelligent to be stuck with these idiots.

You could only sigh as you took a large swig of whatever it is Doyoung made for you, relishing in the burn it gave you as it went down your throat, wishing for the alcohol-induced pain to overtake the one in your mind caused by the one and only Nakamoto Yuta.

Needless to say, you and Yuta ended up changing songs for the playing test and performing alone. Yuta moved back to his previous seat in the front of the room, though you still felt the way his eyes practically pierced through you as you played your chosen song, which albeit, was on the easier side since you wanted to give yourself a break.

Unbeknownst to you, Yuta wished so badly to be the person you were singing about. “Can you focus on me? Baby can you focus on me?” You sang, and he mentally beat himself to the ground.

Yuta still wanted to give you the world more than anything but he didn’t trust himself to do so, not when he’s already hurt you more than he should have. He became so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice you finished playing until he heard the applause coming from your classmates.

You actually did end up going to their spring party, but it was due to a request made by Johnny as he told you about Mark’s current post-breakup state near the end of your English class together. “He’s pretty much been in his room all the time. Not like the normal kind where he just prefers to chill in his room, but like, the kind where he doesn’t even come down to eat with us and Taeil has to bring food up to him.”

“Did Mark say anything about the breakup? Like why or how it happened?” You questioned, not wanting to have to ask Mark himself in case it was still too sensitive a subject to talk about.

Johnny hummed in thought, cocking his head to the side. “He didn’t say much to me, but he told Taeil that she wasn’t looking for anything serious but he thought that she was.” Johnny paused to take a sip from the Starbucks cup on his desk. “In my opinion, he should’ve waited to get to know her instead of just fucking her and deciding to date her y’know? But, I mean, that’s on him, so as they say, not my problem.” He shrugged his shoulder before taking another sip of his drink.

“Literally who says that?” You joke, enjoying poking fun at the older guy.

Johnny turned to you, a mock look of offense plastered onto his face. “Y/n! You don’t know? The famous Johnny Suh says it all the time.” You rolled your eyes at him as you packed up your belongings, promising to be at the party later that night, not exactly fancying the thought of running into a certain someone at the party as well.

Mark’s fiery whirlwind of a romance had left him to become a mess of all sorts and you spent your time with him at the party in his bed, watching tik toks and animal video compilations to get his mind off of things. You felt a sense of relief as you heard one of his faint snores, realizing that he was asleep, allowing you to slip out of his room and head downstairs to grab a drink from Doyoung.

Right as you were about to head back up, you saw the all too familiar head of orange hair glowing under the dim lighting as he looked down across the party from the bottom of the staircase. He didn’t seem to notice you as you made your way towards him until a small “hey” left your lips.

His eyes darted over to your face, offering a simple nod of his head to you to acknowledge your presence. You stood next to him, leaning against the wall until you broke the silence “how have you been?”

“Fine. You?”

“Pretty good I guess.” You could tell he didn’t want to talk to you, but you didn’t want to leave him, just feeling so drawn to him. Finding comfort in his presence, you closed your eyes and let your head fall against the wall as you lost yourself in the music that Johnny had going.

“I’ll get going, this party isn’t as exciting as normal.” Yuta stated as he turned to go back upstairs. Starting up the stairs after him, wanting to check in on Mark again, but when Yuta heard you following him, he turned around and called out to you. ”Don’t follow me, you’ll end up in my arms.” You froze as he turned back around and continued his way up while you processed his words, allowing him to escape from you yet again.

You watched from an outsider's perspective and through the narratives of the other guys as over the next few days, Yuta replaced Mark as the resident vegetable. He fell into the same state Mark was previously in, said boy having slowly come back to his senses with your constant nurturing and care.

Party after party, Yuta was no longer down on the dance floor with one hand holding a red solo cup, another around the waist of a girl he had just met. You wanted so badly to speak to him, but whenever you spotted him off to the edges of the crowd, he’d disappear seconds later like he knew you were watching him. As much as it was nice to have Mark back and go back to your normal best friend activities, Yuta had lodged himself in your heart without you knowing it.

Countless parties more and it was already nearing the end of spring semester. Yuta had stopped showing up to class, appearing once or twice a week, at most. Even at parties, he no longer came out of his room, according to Taeil. You had been meaning to talk to Yuta for a while now, but with finals looming right around the corner and his ability to hole himself up in his room, it was nearly impossible to find the time and place for it.

You were sick of worrying about him and if he was eating and sleeping okay, often finding yourself wondering what he was currently doing while you were studying or eating your own meals. You hated how often he occupied your mind. You truly wanted to believe that you were different to him, that someday he’d come around ready to commit to something but you ridiculed yourself for thinking that you’d have enough power to change someone as stubborn as Yuta. Little did you know, you were more than capable of doing so.

You had just entered the last week before finals and your school was generous enough to allot students a two day period to study before finals started. Of course, the frats and sororities took it as a last-ditch opportunity to party before their seniors graduated. You attended the party thrown to celebrate the graduating Taeil, Johnny, and Taeyong, but you were there for a different reason.

Throwing a quick greeting to Doyoung in the kitchen as you entered, he offered you a drink, which you told him to save for later before storming up the stairs. You were tired of all the hours you spent thinking about Yuta. If he wasn’t going to do anything about this, then you were whether it ended your friendship with him or not. You were done thinking about all the what-ifs, you wanted a definitive answer and you wanted it now.

Stopping in front of Yuta’s door, having enough manners to think about knocking before entering, you raised your hand to knock. Though before you were able to, you heard the music coming from inside. It didn’t take a genius to recognize that it was his voice singing the words. You froze with your hand against the door as you continued to listen to him. “Oh, how I love you. I just feel so lost without you.”

You opened his door slowly, knowing fully well that he wouldn’t be able to hear you knock over the loud noise coming from the party and his own blue-toned song. Both of you stood there in shock as your eyes met. Yuta was sitting on his bed with Taeil’s guitar in his lap and a notebook laid open next to him while you stood in the middle of his doorway, hand still on the knob.

Oh, how you missed the sight of him, even when he was dressed as simply as he was right now with just a grey t-shirt and black shorts sporting the logo of his favorite soccer team. “Yuta, we need to talk” you blurted out, stopping yourself from ogling him any further.

“Alright.” He complied, closing the notebook as you sat at the foot of his bed.

You take in a deep breath before starting. “I’m pretty sure you know this already, but I like you,” pausing to regather yourself and push through the rest of the speech you practiced in your head, “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you recently and I just want to settle this whole thing once and for all.”

Yuta nodded while picking at his fingers which you could see were now raw from playing the guitar so much, making you wonder just how often he was on it. “I’ve been thinking about you too...a lot,” he said as he looked up at you, “and I think I have an answer for you.”

You plant your hand down next to you on his bed, resting your weight on it and letting your head loll to the side as you raise an eyebrow at him asking him to continue. “I like you too, and I know the way I’ve been acting doesn’t really show that but I’m just scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of getting hurt again.” Yuta said, letting his head rest in his hands.

“Yuta, you know I would never cheat on you.”

“That’s what she told me too, but people can be deceiving.”

“Look, I’m not her,” you pointed out to him, “and I’m telling you right now that I would not even think about cheating on you.”

“Yeah, well, things can change.” Yuta let out exasperatedly.

“So you should change with them. You’re not going to grow unless you accept those changes.”

He went silent for a bit before looking up at you. “Teach me how to accept them, then.”

“What do you mean by that?” You ask him, your eyes meeting his.

“Show me that you’re different. Prove to me that not all change is bad.”

You moved closer to him as he spoke, swinging a leg over his lap and straddling him. “I will.”

Yuta’s eyes fluttered shut and you felt as he shakily exhaled before he reopened his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, and this time it was your eyes that closed as Yuta connected his lips to yours. Within a few seconds, you felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip, asking for entrance, which you allowed and gave him a sense of dominance before letting your tongue dance with his while gently pushing him down onto the bed.

He whined as he broke the kiss and rolled both of you over, switching your positions, preferring to smother your body with his, making you giggle at his actions. “Thank you for asking this time.” You told him, referencing the first time he had kissed you.

“I was drunk, okay? I wasn’t thinking straight and I just wanted to kiss you so badly.” Yuta groaned, grinding his growing erection on your hip at the last part.

“Oh you wanna kiss me so bad huh?” You teased.

You could’ve sworn he let out a growl right then before responding “fuck yeah I do” and reconnecting your lips to his. After fighting your tongue yet again, he pulled away and slowly opened his now lust-filled eyes. “Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes,” you let out breathlessly, “I want it.”

“Who do you want?” He questioned as he slipped his hands under your shirt, gently kneading your breasts while kissing along your jaw and down your neck.

“You.”

“Baby, say my name.”

“Yuta, I want you.”

“Fuck, I love it when you say my name.” He said as he pulled his shirt off, throwing it down to the floor as you sat up and did the same.

The second your shirt was off, Yuta’s hands were already undoing the clasp of your bra, tossing it to the side as well before pushing you back down and running his hands over your breasts. His mouth latched onto one of your nipples as his hand played with the other.

You let out a whine as he pushed his erection against your clit, making you feel your own arousal that had started leaking out onto your underwear. Yuta glanced up at you, smirking, as he heard the sound you made. “Someone’s getting needy.” He kissed his way down your abdomen, sitting back once he reached the waistband of your pants, pulling them off along with your underwear.

He groaned as he took in all of your naked beauty, telling you “you’re so fucking hot” as he spread your legs and brought his face down to your folds and licking a long strip upwards. He repeated this motion a few times before you let out a frustrated moan at his teasing.

Yuta laughed at your desperation until your hand wove it’s way into his hair and pushed him closer to where you wanted him most. He seemed to get the message as he dove in, allowing you to get lost in the feeling of his tongue swirling around and pressing at your entrance.

You weren’t expecting it when you suddenly felt him pressing a finger into you, though you enjoyed the sensation of it and raised your hips to feel more, only to be met with Yuta’s free hand coming down on your stomach, holding you down. He waited for you to relax before inserting a second digit, then a third as he started to speed up and finger fuck you open.

He was reaching places inside of you that you had never reached before but you still wanted more. “Yuta,” you breathed out, “just fuck me already.”

“Well when you say it like that, there’s no way I can resist” he said, a sly smile creeping onto his face as he sat up, his erection bobbing as he tugged off his ripped jeans, freeing it from its confines.

“Condom” you tell him.

“Oh, you’re one of those girls,” he snickered, earning him a smack on the arm from you, “I’m just kidding, jeez, I don’t want to have to be responsible for a child just yet.” He defended as he reached over and stuck his hand into one of the drawers of his nightstand.

“I’m not risking getting pregnant when I can barely pay my tuition.” You quipped back at him.

“Fair enough.” Yuta remarked as he ripped open the package and rolled the condom over his already leaking cock.

He crawled over you, his elbows coming to rest next to either side of your head. “Are you sure you want this?” He asked as he lined himself up with your entrance.

“Are you sure want this?” You countered to him, both of you knowing fully well what you meant since once he went through with this, there was no turning back. Yuta was promising himself to you just as you had done to him.

You watched as his eyes found yours, “I want this, I want you, I want us.” With that he pushed himself into you, both of you letting out sinful moans as he bottomed out.

He barely gave you time to adjust before he started slowly rocking his hips as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer while your hands found their way into his brightly colored locks. Just as he began to accelerate his movements, thrusting harder and faster, his door swung open.

Mark walked in casually, “hey, Yuta have you seen Taeil’s- holy shit i’m so sorry” he exclaimed once he realized the situation.

Yuta didn’t even pause as he told Mark “it’s on the floor.”

If you weren’t struggling to hold back your lewd sounds in the presence of your best friend, you would’ve laughed at how Mark snatched up the guitar and bolted out of the room, muttering “guess we’re even now, y/n” as he shut the door.

You let out a whimper as Yuta hit your spot the second the door closed. “Fuck, right there.”

He pushed himself into you a few more times before suddenly rolling over, bringing you to straddle him. “Ride me” he commanded, one of his hands coming to rub your clit. You began bouncing on his lap and clenched around him, drawing a moan from him. “I won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

“Good, I'm not going to either.” You informed him, already feeling the knot in your stomach begging to be released.

Your thighs were starting to become sore though you didn’t want to stop. Yuta noticed your change of pace, bringing both his hands up to your hips as he began thrusting up into you. You let out a cry as he managed to brush against your most sensitive areas, causing an orgasm to wash over you.

His movements slowly only for a bit as he let you take control, riding out your high before firmly grasping your hips again and bouncing you on himself, relishing in the feeling of your tight walls fluttering around him.

Staying true to his word, Yuta came shortly after you, filling the condom with his cum. He continued to push himself up into you until it became too much and he pulled out with a hiss. Yuta gently you down on his bed before getting up to dispose of the condom in the trash bin next to his nightstand.

You welcomed him with open arms as he climbed back into bed, his own arms wrapping around your waist as he began pressing light kisses across your collarbone as he broke the silence. “So does this make us a thing?”

“Depends on what you mean by that.” You tell him, wanting him to clearly voice his thoughts.

“Are we official?” He clarified.

“Only if you want us to be.”

Yuta smiled up at you. “y/n, Yuta’s girl, I like the sound of that.” You leaned down to press a kiss to his lips before he spoke again. “That song was about you, by the way”

“I figured that much.” You stated as you pushed his hair out of his face.

He giggled as he told you “I wrote it after jacking off to the thought of you.”

“Okay, you didn’t have to tell me that.” He let out a full laugh this time as he rolled both of you onto your sides and brought his forehead to rest against yours.

“Gosh, as if you weren’t clingy enough before this.” You joke, playfully kissing his nose.

“I’m all yours now.” Yuta cooed, his arms pulling your still naked body impossibly closer to his.

804 notes · View notes

taelme · 5 years ago

Text

Don’t Need Your Love Club - Recruiting Now! (Welcome, Na Jaemin!)

genre: high school!au, community service club president!jaemin (LMAO) (fluff, mild angst w a happy ending!!)

pairing/s: Jaemin / Reader (ft majority of nct dream, nct Doyoung, Astro Sanha and Stray Kids Seungmin and Hyunjin!)

word count: 16k+

tw: none! mild tension between Jaemin and his parents

a/n: happy valentines day~~~ happy Jaehyun day~~~~ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ hope you enjoy this! Donghyuck’s chapter will be coming soon so please look forward to it!

"Y/N," your friend called over her shoulder, "what do you think? Chocolates or balloons?" she asked you.

“Huh?”

Your lips parted in confusion, though you realised what she said quickly, shrugging in response to her question.

“I don’t know,” you hummed.

You glanced at the display of items nearest to you, eyeing the pretty roses laid out on the table.

"I like the flowers," you offered, a hint of teasing in your tone, knowing very well her boyfriend didn’t like flowers.

You heard your friend tut her tongue at you. "For my boyfriend, not you," she told you, making you giggle, making you shoot her a patronising look, dodging when she tried to swat at your shoulder.

“I don’t know why he doesn’t like flowers, he’s pretty convinced they attract bees no matter how much I try to convince him,” she elaborated, making you wince.

“I hate bees, though. I get what he means,” you pulled your lips into a frown, almost eliciting a giggle from Jaemin, who had to turn his head away and cover his mouth in an attempt to stifle his endearment.

“Just—” She groaned. “—help me pick between the chocolates or balloons,” your friend shook her head, directing your attention back to the topic at hand.

You hummed in thought, oblivious to the way Jaemin was listening in on your conversation as he pretended to arrange the chocolate boxes next to the roses, catching your attention.

"Chocolates," you muttered, letting your gaze wander down the set-up of the booth, noticing the pretty posters and banners they'd pasted up.

"Wow, whoever designed the banners this year should get a pay raise..." you commented, inspecting the banner but feeling like there was something off with the spelling.

"Right? I thought so too,” your friend murmured, though you didn't know whether she was referring to the chocolates or the banners. Turning to Jaemin, she gestured towards the boxes of chocolates.

"Can I get one box of that, please?"

You looked up at who she was talking to, recognizing him to be Na Jaemin, your senior who you'd first seen during the club fair in your school, looking away immediately because you weren't used to seeing him so up-close, not realizing what a nice smile he had until now.

Noticing your distress, your friend eyed you suspiciously, deciding she would put her suspicions to the test.

"Are you getting anything for anyone?" she turned to you, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively as she had successfully directed Jaemin's attention towards you, making you shake your head vigorously.

"Nope," you replied, shifting your weight on your feet, “don’t give me that look...it’s just that, you know, my Valentine's day this year's looking pretty.....uneventful," you huffed with a nervous laugh, making Jaemin frown.

Though he was well aware that the custom he was used to was that Valentine's day was for girls to give guys gifts, he figured a little 'chivalry' as Jaemin liked to put it, may just be the right thing for this situation. Before he lost the sudden surge of confidence, Jaemin recalled what you'd mentioned about liking the flowers.

Packing the box of chocolates into a bag for your friend, Jaemin swiftly handed her the bag along with her change, and you were about to leave when you saw a flash of red almost being shoved against your face.

"Here," you heard his voice.

You leant back, staring at the rose in front of you in surprise, your gaze flickering between the rose and Jaemin who was holding it out for you.

“From me. Happy Valentine's day." Jaemin tilted his head at you ever so slightly, giving you a small close-lipped smile.

You weren't sure whether your mind was registering your movements when you took the flower from him gently, a short silence falling between the both of you (well, and your friend too).

Jaemin opened his mouth to speak again, “What's your na—”

"Y/N!" your head snapped around when you heard the unmistakeable voice of that menace sound in the school's foyer, Jaemin’s question going unnoticed.

"Your 'church brother' is here..." your friend trailed off and you felt a weight on your shoulder, turning to spot Donghyuck next to you, hand pressing down on your shoulder harshly.

Jaemin's eyes widened at the sight of his friend, narrowing his eyes at Donghyuck, "Yo...Lee Donghyuck," he called in a slightly louder voice, making Donghyuck's head snap around to face him quickly.

"Ohh! Right, I forgot you’d be here. You two haven't been introduced yet, right?" Donghyuck gestured between you and Jaemin, earning a shake of the head from Jaemin.

"Well I was about to before you came out of nowhere," Jaemin muttered bitterly, going ignored by Donghyuck, who fiddled with his tie with one hand, gesturing back to you with his other hand.

"Jaemin, this is Y/N, a family friend of mine. Y/N, this is Jaemin." Donghyuck let go of his tie quickly, bringing his hands to yours and Jaemin's wrists, forcefully pulling your hands closer.

"C'mon. Shake hands, make friends," he told the both of you in a tone that fearfully resembled the way he spoke to his pet turtles (whether they were still alive or not, Jaemin was scared to find out).

You hesitated only momentarily, but tensed when you felt Jaemin close the gap and grasp your hand in his, dismissing all those knowledge from etiquette classes and his parents on a firm handshake, choosing to simply squeeze your hand reassuringly before letting go.

Donghyuck, looking satisfied, had let his gaze fall on the rose in your hands, a confused sound falling from his lips.

"Who'd you get this for?" he frowned, and you'd looked at Jaemin in panic, unsure whether you should tell Donghyuck you weren't getting it for anyone.

Looking at Donghyuck with wide eyes, you pointed a finger at Jaemin, making Donghyuck mirror your expression.

"You got it for him?!"

Donghyuck's tone rose, unmistakably about to kick up a fuss since he knew Jaemin’s horrible track record when it came to professions of love from girls in school, but Jaemin intervened before he could do so.

"I gave it to her," Jaemin blurted, looking elsewhere once Donghyuck had directed his wide eyes towards Jaemin.

Narrowing his eyes at the both of them, a realization struck Donghyuck, making him nod slowly, casting a knowing look at your friend.

"Oh....interesting....I'll uh....good for you, bro” Donghyuck shrugged, pulling your friend aside under the pretence of heading to class first so you and Jaemin would be able to have some time alone together.

You glanced nervously between Jaemin and the other members at the booth, seeing him smooth down the sides of his hair, shaking his head to adjust his hair, his slightly curly hair bouncing with the movement.

"So uh....you're a first year, right?" you heard Jaemin clear his throat, his voice coming out a lot more confidently than you'd expected.

Not trusting the pitch of your voice, you nodded in response, seeing his lips curve into a smile, showing off his (very straight) teeth, his head tilting slightly as he looked at you curiously.

"That's cool," he smiled, the conversation falling silent between the both of you before Jaemin spoke up again, wanting to continue your conversation in the hopes of finding out more about you, "are you in any clubs?"

You shook your head, "I put my name down for a few but they're mostly event-based ‘cause I was scared I wouldn't be able to like...cope and stuff," you explained, twirling your rose between your fingers.

"Ahhh...I get it," he hummed, sounding fairly empathetic, though he knew his choices were rather different, seeing as he was used to biting off more than he could chew when it came to commitments.

Jaemin's gaze flickered to your hands, and you wondered why he was glaring so intently at your rose, almost jumping in shock when he'd held a hand out.

"Sorry, can you hand me the rose for a minute?"

You frowned, your panic making you react with a joke.

"You're taking it back?" you asked, handing him the rose anyway.

Jaemin simply gave you a soft smile, shaking his head and turning away from you. You watched as he picked up a pair of cutters, clipping off a thorn on the stem that you were surprised you hadn't cut yourself with from how much you were twirling it.

"There, all better," he smiled, handing the rose back to you.

"Oh.....thanks," you felt your cheeks heat up, "I better uh...head back to class and shit—I mean. Yes. Bye," you waved quickly, not waiting for him to respond before you walked off.

===

That same day, Jaemin had met Jeno on his way back from school, said boy looking very tired after playing for ungodly hours at the computer cafe.

"Do you have dinner at home?" Jeno asked Jaemin, nudging the frame of his glasses up his nose bridge, shaking his head slightly to get his hair away from his eyes.

Jaemin shot Jeno a knowing look, narrowing his eyes at Jeno, “you told your mom you were staying over today again, didn't you?"

Jeno scoffed, “I didn’t—” Jeno sucked in a breath, “okay, maybe I did, but hey, are you trying to fault me for wanting to spend time with you?” Jeno raised his eyebrows, challenging Jaemin.

Jeno relaxed when he saw the way Jaemin broke into a grin, shaking his head good-naturedly at his friend.

“It’s fine, my mom’s been asking me to invite you for dinner anyway,” Jaemin sighed, tucking his thumbs behind the straps of his bag, looking up and letting out another sigh when he saw the way the sun was setting, the sky beginning to get darker.

Jaemin directed his gaze away from the sky, glancing at Jeno.

“So, we haven’t had a good time to chat in a while,” he began.

Jeno snickered at the unnatural wording Jaemin used, making Jaemin tut his tongue in annoyance at Jeno.

“As I was saying, how have things been for you?”

Jeno’s lips pursed, looking as though he were contemplating as he spun his phone in his hand like it was a fidget spinner, letting out a small sigh and shrugging, “I don’t know, I guess I met this girl at the computer cafe the other day when Chenle bailed on me,” he started, ignoring the smirk that Jaemin was giving him.

“You ‘guess’ you met her?” Jaemin laughed, raising his hands in defence when Jeno gave him an exaggerated glare, “okay, sorry. Please, continue.”

“At first I was just looking to kill boredom so I just invited her to play a game of battleground with me since she looked pretty bored too, but then after that she just- okay. Long story short, she played a lot better than I thought she would.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows raised, pressing his lips together in a poor attempt to conceal his amusement, “mmhmm,” Jaemin prompted Jeno to continue.

“‘Mmhmm’ what? That’s it, that’s all that happened,” Jeno responded defensively, making Jaemin roll his eyes.

“You wouldn’t be telling me about her if you didn’t have more to say, Jeno. You can’t fool me, idiot.”

Jeno inhaled, letting out a tired sigh, eyes lighting up when he saw Jaemin’s house in sight, “I can’t wait to eat your mom’s food again,” Jeno frowned, rubbing his stomach.

“Don’t dodge the question. Spill,” Jaemin’s tone was firm, making Jeno slump his shoulders in resignation.

“I don’t know, I guess it bothered me? That I just kept thinking about her? Like, I wanted to know more about her, you know what I mean?” Jeno looked at Jaemin for affirmation.

Jaemin’s eyebrows raised, a thoughtful pout on his lips. His lips soon curving into a knowing smirk.

“So you were attracted to her, basically,” he commented dryly, making Jeno tut his tongue at him.

“You make me sound so stupid,” Jeno sighed, their pace quickening as they walked down Jaemin’s driveway, Jaemin already fishing out his keys from his bag to unlock the door.

“Am I wrong?” Jaemin scrunched his nose up in amusement, a groan of pain leaving his lips when Jeno smacked him across the arm. “Is she from our school?”

Jeno hummed in affirmation. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen her before. She’s friends with Yoon Sanha and Seungmin.”

“Oh, Seungmin’s friend! Yeah, I think I know who you’re talking about,” Jaemin nodded, recalling seeing Seungmin with this said girl-space-friend before in school.

Opening the door (with his good arm), Jaemin caught a whiff of his mom’s cooking when he stepped into the threshold.

“Jaemin, honey, you’re back? Come, let’s eat,” he heard his mother call.

“Hi, Aunty!” Jeno called out loudly, tossing his bag aside next to the sofa and entering the kitchen, sounds of Jaemin’s mother cooing over Jeno echoing to where Jaemin stood in the living room, taking his time to put down his things.

Checking his phone for notifications, he let his bag drop off his shoulder as he scanned through the messages from the teacher in charge of the Community Service Club and the group chat, talking about upcoming preparations or proposals they were waiting for Jaemin to send to them.

“Home from school so early?” Jaemin heard his dad’s voice.

“Huh?” Looking up from his phone, Jaemin made eye contact with his father who was standing near the entrance of the kitchen, waving Jaemin over.

“Put your bag down, let’s eat,” he told Jaemin, who obediently did so, following wordlessly behind his dad into the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to see that Jeno was already seated opposite his mother.

“How’s school, baby?” His mother asked, “Jeno told me your overseas trip is coming soon.”

Nodding in response, Jaemin swallowed his mouthful of food.

“Yeah,” he answered, hearing his dad chime in with a sound of approval.

“You’re signing up, right? I’m sure you don’t need me to remind you that you need all those specs to look good on your school applications,” he said matter-of-factly.

Jeno scrunched his nose up in distaste, bowing his head in the hopes that Jaemin’s father wouldn’t notice his dissatisfaction with where the conversation seemed to be heading.

“Is it really a must for you to go?” Jaemin’s mother cut in, making him raise his eyebrows in question.

“It’s....a volunteer trip......” Jaemin murmured, spooning his last spoonful of food into his mouth, already feeling full.

“Yeah, I know, honey. But why do you want to do all these things, isn’t it tiring? I’m sure if you just donate the money they can get people to do it, right? Why don’t you ask your teacher for other alternatives that won’t be so physically taxing?”

Jaemin’s father shrugged, “True. All these people want is the money at the end of the day.”

Jeno winced, knowing this was a particularly sensitive topic for Jaemin, looking at his friend furtively to gauge his reaction, a wave of concern washing over him when he saw the way Jaemin scoffed slightly, his fists clenching around his cutlery, directing a very harsh stare to the salt and pepper shakers at the centre of the table.

“That’s not true....these people deserve help, and I’d be happy to be the one to help them.” Jaemin muttered, trying to calm himself down so as not to act out rudely to his parents (as much as he wasn’t agreeing with what they were saying now).

“Jae, it’s great that you have this perspective of it but...you know it’s just an excuse for your school to show that they care about the community…right?” His father laughed, picking up his glass of wine and bringing it to his lips.

“Is that such a bad thing? That I’m offering help to people that need it more than me?” Jaemin tilted his head, letting go of his cutlery, a soft thud sounding from the metal hitting the placemat. Jeno watched with wide eyes as Jaemin’s mother picked up the rest of the meat on the serving plate, placing it on Jaemin’s plate.

“Here, eat some more. I don’t want to keep the leftovers.”

Jaemin wanted to tell her off, to ask her to just throw it away like she always does, but in his anger thinking about the wastefulness of the action, he jabbed at the meat with his knife, bringing it to his mouth and eating it despite how full he was, Jeno’s gaze at Jaemin’s plate as pitiful as it could get.

Standing up abruptly, Jaemin spoke over the last bits of food in his mouth, desperate to leave the kitchen, “I’m done with my food. Thank you for the meal,” he murmured, storming off upstairs after grabbing both his and Jeno’s bags from the living room.

Jeno sighed, bowing slightly as he thanked Jaemin’s parents for the meal, walking upstairs after Jaemin, seeing his bedroom door ajar when he reached the top of the stairs. Jeno shrugged off his jacket, hanging it on the back of Jaemin’s desk chair, watching as Jaemin rummaged loudly through his cupboard, pulling out the spare set of clothes and underwear Jeno kept here for the days he stayed over.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Jeno heard Jaemin say from behind the door of his closet, soon seeing his head of (very dishevelled) hair when he shut the door, handing Jeno his clothes.

Jeno shook his head, knowing that it was common, it not having been the first time he witnessed- or heard -Jaemin’s parents views on Jaemin’s schooling situation.

“Don’t worry about it, man. Just go take a shower, cool down. We can talk about it later if you want, alright?” Jeno looked at Jaemin whose eyes began to gloss over, and Jeno swore he saw Jaemin’s lips quiver slightly.

Jaemin nodded, thankful that at times like this he still had Jeno to keep him sane. Nodding wordlessly, he left to shower, hoping the time alone would let him calm down like it usually did.

===

You'd failed to spot Jaemin around in school much after Valentine's Day, and even now as you walked into the mass hall for morning flag raising, you couldn't help but search for him among the crowd of 2nd Years, but obviously not finding him.

Taking your seat next to your friend, you went with the normal proceedings, practically ready to leave the hall after the announcements sounded as if they were about to end, until your friend had tapped your thigh rapidly.

"Dude, dude look who's on the stage," she told you hurriedly, excitement laced in her tone.

Frowning, you lifted your head only to see Jaemin standing at the podium. Microphone and cue cards grasped in one hand as the other adjusted his collar.

"Good morning, teachers and students. My name is Na Jaemin, a member of the Community Service club." he began, and you saw powerpoint slides being flashed on the screen hanging next to him.

"I’ll try to keep this short but I'm up here today to talk about the upcoming overseas community service trip that the school will be having." You watched as the screen showed a video titled 'CSP-2018'.

Glancing at the screen, Jaemin smiled, "here's a video to let you know more about the purpose of the trip as well as the types of activities we do on the trip. Since this is a cultural experience trip as well, there will be various activities planned for students to incorporate both work and play in the trip,“ he said, nodding to signal to the people in the control room.

Watching the video, you noticed how Jaemin had gone for the trip last year as well, seeing many shots showing him playing with the children from the orphanage or showing them building a room for the children. A part of you felt strangely touched by the video, appreciating the effort they put into bringing a positive impact to the lives of the people there, making you feel more spurred on to sign-up for the trip.

"Are you gonna go?" your friend nudged you, gesturing to the video.

You nodded, ”I mean...I want to but I gotta know the details first.."

The video had ended, and Jaemin had picked up the mic again, "This year's trip will be at the same location, and the dates of the trip can be found on the screen," he stated, “sign- ups are currently open, and there are about 20 slots that are yet to be filled so we hope you can join us on this trip..."

Nothing but silence could be heard around the hall.

"Oh, and extra-curricular points will be awarded, of course," Jaemin added as an afterthought, only then sparking murmurs and whispers around the hall.

"I'm free on those dates.." you hummed, after mentally going through your schedule, you made a mental note that the trip would be less than 2 weeks from now. "What about you?" you asked your friend.

She shook her head, “I can’t, I’m going overseas with my family during that time, but I mean…there's no harm in you still going. Maybe you can make some friends," she shrugged.

You winced, giving her a hesitant look.

Jaemin unconsciously searched for you in the crowd as he signalled the club members at the back of the hall to give out the details to the teachers.

"If you have any questions, feel free to approach any of the members of the club, including myself," Jaemin almost smiled when he found you in the crowd, squinting at the screen.

Turning your head back to face the front only to make what you thought was eye contact with Jaemin, he spoke, "Thank you for your time today, and I hope to see you there," he smiled, giving a small bow before exiting the stage.

===

"What did you send me? I'm literally sitting next to you," you told Donghyuck as you sat next to him in the church pews.

"Sign-up link," he murmured, and you could just about hear him over the sound of the priest's voice giving announcements.

"Sign-up link for what?" you frowned, genuinely confused at what he was sending you.

"The overseas community service thing," he told you, choosing not to add the part about Jaemin asking him to send it to you.

"I want to go but like...my friend can't make it so if I go there's literally no one I know there!" you shrugged, hoping Donghyuck could sense your stress about having to be in an overseas environment with people you didn't know.

"Who knows? Maybe this'll be a good chance for you to make friends! I know some of them, they're really nice people."

You hummed, "Lemme ask my parents first...when do sign-ups close?"

Donghyuck hummed in thought, "Monday."

"That's tomorrow!"

"Precisely. Which is why you gotta make your mind up soon," he threw his hands up in a shrug, giving you an unapologetic look.

You'd left it at that, and you were glad Donghyuck hadn't mentioned it after that. And a part of you hoped that would be the last time you would have to think about it, since you didn’t think the chance of you going was very high.

But being confronted by Jaemin about it on Monday morning when you were trying to buy your lunch didn’t make your dilemma any more solved. (well, not confronted but it might as well have been to you)

"Are there any more of this one?" you pointed at the empty section of bread, asking the lady operating the shop.

Shaking her head at you with a sad smile, "sorry, sweetie, we're all sold out."

You frowned. “Oh man,” the frown almost audible in your tone.

"Hey, Y/N,” your attention was taken away from choosing what alternative bun to get when you heard someone call your name, turning in the direction of the voice only to see Jaemin standing next to you, wearing the school sweater this time instead of the usual sweater vest.

He already bought his food, the plastic bag hanging from his wrist, but you were still stuck deciding what to get among the selection.

"Oh, hi," you smiled, diverting your attention to the bread before you. "Why d'you look so sad?" He asked you, an amused smile on his face.

"There's no more of the bread I always get," you frowned.

“S’this your lunch?" he pointed at the bread, earning a nod from you. Jaemin had noticed you looking rather sadly at the empty section of bread, glancing in his plastic bag to see that he'd bought the last few for him and the guys in the dnyl club.

"Oh, right, Donghyuck told me you were thinking of signing up for the trip?" you grasped the packaging of the bun you were holding tighter, suddenly feeling like eating more.

Picking up another bun, you glanced again at Jaemin's plastic bag, wondering if he was going to eat all those by himself.

"Did your parents agree to it?" you nodded.

“Yeah, they agreed. It’s just me...I’m just kind of hesitant since I don't really...know anyone in the club?"

Jaemin gave you a hurt expression, "Aren’t we friends?"

You opened and closed your mouth, not being able to defend yourself as he took the buns from your hands, paying for you while you were distracted trying to formulate a reply.

"I mean, yeah, we...are," you gave him a smile, still feeling unbearably shy at the thought of it, feeling him hand the plastic bag with your buns back to you, not noticing that he'd dropped one of his buns into your plastic bag.

"Then you have nothing to worry about! I know all of them, they won't bully you, they're really nice."

"Wait, you-" you glanced at the cashier, back to the bag of buns in your hand, turning back to look at Jaemin in shock, "you shouldn't have.."

Jaemin grinned, shaking his head at you as he led you away from the crowd at the bakery, "you don't have to pay me back. This isn't a bribe, I promise."

"Anyway, I have to go, got a...um...meeting. See you around?" Jaemin wished he hadn’t agreed to Harvey’s idea of joining the ‘don’t need your love club’, since that meeting was the only thing that was currently the only thing standing in between him being able to spend more time with you.

You stared at him blankly, nodding, mentally deciding that you would sign up for the trip.

“Uh-huh....see you around."

When Jaemin returned to the club room, the boys had immediately noticed the giddy smile he had on his face while he distributed their buns to them, Renjun eyeing him suspiciously.

"What's got you looking so stupid?" Renjun spoke up.

Jaemin shook his head dismissively, leaning back in his chair and trying to conceal the smile from his face, never remembering feeling like this in a long while.

"Aren't you eating? Where's your food?" Jeno asked, and Jaemin could practically hear the frown in his voice.

Jaemin let out a loud sigh, “I think I’m already fed enough to last the week.”

“....Do I even wanna ask..?” Donghyuck murmured, chewing on his bread while giving Jaemin a questioning stare.

Jaemin lifted his head, casting Donghyuck a satisfied smile. “I’m so glad you have friends,” Jaemin told him, making Donghyuck scoff, having a feeling he knew what was going on with Jaemin.

“I’d like to solve the puzzle” Donghyuck raised his hand, his tone similar to that of a gameshow contestant, earning an expectant look from Renjun and Jeno.

Staring at them in silence, Jeno nodded slowly, unsure why Donghyuck had kept silent despite the green light.

“Go on??” He prompted again.

“Jaemin has a crush,” Donghyuck’s tone was firm and decisive. This made Jeno and Renjun’s eyes widen.

“Huh? Since when?”

“No way.” The boys chimed in simultaneously.

“Valentine’s Day,” Jaemin sighed when Donghyuck brought up the day.

“I don’t believe in love at first sight, but she was really cute...and all my interactions with her have been pleasant...but that’s it.” Just like that, it was as if Jaemin had snapped out of his giddy daze, brought back to earth by his many responsibilities he should be busy with instead of being lovesick.

Renjun was sceptical, “Then what’s got you looking as though she asked you to marry her?”

“Last I heard, she was considering signing up for the overseas trip,” Jaemin explained, making Jeno nod, a hum of understanding leaving his lips.

“But you don’t actually know if she’s going, do you?” Renjun shot him a look, his question sounding more like a statement, making Donghyuck brush Renjun off.

“Hey, let the boy dream. It’s the first time I’m seeing him actually like someone and it’s a lot more entertaining than I thought it would be,” he snickered, taking another big bite out of his bread as though he were attempting to fit the whole thing in his mouth, his cheeks puffing out from the action.

“When’s the next time you’re gonna see her?” Jeno asked, curious about who you were.

“The pre-departure briefing’s on Wednesday. But that’s if she signs up, of course,” Jaemin gave Donghyuck an pointed look, knowing he’d sent Donghyuck the sign-up link to forward to you.

Donghyuck raised his hands defensively, “I swear I sent it to her.”

Jeno on the other hand simply nodded, figuring he should be supporting Jaemin since it was rare to see Jaemin care about anything other than his oh-so-many responsibilities, and maybe—just maybe, it was a change of scenery that Jaemin needed.

“Keep us updated.”

“Yeah, you better.”

When Wednesday came, Donghyuck assumed you’d shown up to the briefing when he’d received a flood of messages in the chat group.

jaemin 1:55pm- oh my god she’s here she’s actually here for the briefing- 1:55pm - r u guys SEEING these messages- 1:56pm - o I’m stupid I was the one that checked the groupings but I didn’t even realise she was in the same grp as me- 1:56pm - wait she’s in the same grp as me omg- 1:56pm -ok the meeting is starting bye wish me luck-

“Hi guys, so for starters can you take a look at the board and see which groups you belong to, and assemble yourselves accordingly around the room? With group 1 here and group 4 here?” You heard the young teacher instruct, their tone sounding fairly urgent, so you quickly searched for your name among the names on the board, not wanting to end up as the last one standing.

You were quick to spot your name, but you felt a strange wave of relief wash over you when you saw Jaemin’s name under the same group as yours, turning around and spotting him at the side, already sitting with a few other people.

Making your way over to the group, you saw Jaemin look up from the sheets of paper he was analysing, giving you a wave when he saw you. It seemed to you that the people here already knew each other, but only upon reaching your group and sitting down you felt their gaze on you when Jaemin had greeted you.

“So, I see you decided to sign up in the end?” He leaned back, resting his weight on his hands behind him, giving you a smile.

Nodding and reciprocating his smile, you tried to peek at the papers he had arranged neatly in front of him but failed when he'd reached his hand forward to fiddle with the side of the papers, shielding the words from your vision.

"I'm glad," he let out a small content sigh, glancing at the direction of the teacher before nodding, "sorry, I’ll be right back."

You gave him a small smile, eyes widening when you looked back at the rest of the group, realizing they were all looking directly at you.

"What's your name?" one of them spoke up to ask, her tone fairly eager, making you unconsciously try to match her level of energy.

“Y/N,” you replied as cheerfully as you could, scanning the faces in the group and recognizing some of them to be from your cohort.

"Oh, is it the same Y/N?” you saw one of the girls turn to whisper, earning a sharp nudge from whoever was sitting next to them.

"I don't know about you, but I’ve never seen the pres act so comfortably with people other than his group of friends," you heard the girl next to you murmur, making your eyebrows raise.

"Much less a girl," the boy sitting next to her had agreed.

"So.... is it your first time coming for one of our events?" a boy with light brown hair asked you, taking your attention from the girls, eyebrows lifting in question. "I'm Seungmin, by the way."

You nodded, "Yeah, uh... Jaemin was asking if I wanted to go the other day so i figured like... why not, and stuff.." you trailed off, nervous huff of laughter leaving your lips.

"Are you and the pres dating?" a girl that you recognized to be from your class had interrupted, narrowing her eyes at you in disbelief.

"Who? I'm not dating anyone right now," you replied, confused as to why they were accusing you of dating their president, whoever it was.

"But wasn't he the one that gave you the rose on Valentine's day?" the girl sitting next to you had cut in.

"Wait, I always thought he was gay. He’s not gay?” A boy sitting in the other group next to you had turned to join the conversation.

You laughed, more confused than anything, "Oh, that? The rose thing- that was Jaemin."

You saw Seungmin press his lips together in an amused smile, "You don't know who the pres is, do you?"

You were about to defend yourself, pretending as if you knew before giving up, slouching in your seat and shaking your head at Seungmin, seeing him point at the front of the room, and you followed his gaze to where Jaemin was standing, discussing something with the teacher and what you assumed was the travel agent at the front of the room.

"That," Seungmin said, "is our pres."

Your mouth formed an 'o' shape in realization, eyebrows raising in surprise at the unexpected discovery, turning back to Seungmin with a determined expression on your face. "Wait, is he really gay?”

Seungmin scrunched his nose up at the question, shrugging innocently, “It’s kind of unknown...personally, I’ve never thought that way, but he has always seemed pretty uninterested in dating. You’d be surprised at the amount of love confessions he’d refused from just this Valentine’s Day period alone,”

You frowned in confusion, "then why'd he give me the flower?"

"You see that's what all of us are wondering. But from what we know, the pres is a massive flirt," Seungmin divulged, smirk playing at his lips as he watched your eyes widen.

You were about to ask something else when you heard the sound of Jaemin getting everyone's attention.

Introducing the travel agent to the group, Jaemin let him take over and came back to sit with your group, (conveniently) placing himself next to you. As the travel agent briefed you guys about the details of the trip, you noticed how Jaemin was silently double checking whatever he had on his paper with what the agent was showing on the screen, nodding along as he talked.

Halfway through the briefing you heard the travel agent start to wrap up, inviting Jaemin to carry on with the rest of the briefing, seeing the boy next to you make his way over to the front of the room.

“You guys are already split into your assigned groupings, right?" you heard the teacher speak, feeling Seungmin lean over to inform you who the teacher was.

"That's the teacher in charge of the community service club, his name is Doyoung." You made a face of realisation, recalling hearing Donghyuck mention him many times (and the fact that he was a ‘major pain in the ass’) before.

“Basically, now that you know the itinerary, each of your groups will be assigned with an activity that we will be doing during the trip, some will be preparing gifts for the visits and others will be planning things like games or designs for the mural.”

Doyoung had walked over to the centre of the room, directing his instructions to a particular group sitting on his right.

“For the groups in charge of the murals, please come back to me with your designs preferably latest by the day of the flight itself, because we need to confirm it with the orphanage for the approval of the design.”

You frowned, unsure why he was directing such a stern gaze towards the group next to him, only realising afterwards that it was because one of them was very obviously falling asleep right in front of him.

“Jaemin, your group is doing the gifts, right?” Doyoung turned to ask Jaemin, who stood at the front of the room, with his back leaning against the whiteboard, arms crossed in front of his chest as he nodded.

“Alright, then the rest of the session will be for you guys to prepare your activities, group leaders please take charge, check with Jaemin or me if you need any clarification about the visits.”

“How come Jaemin does so much of the planning?” You turned to ask Seungmin, not realising that Jaemin was already making his way back to where your group was.

Seungmin’s gaze darting between yours and Jaemin’s approaching figure, he lowered his voice to a mere murmur, “Honestly, I think it’s just always kind of been like that...our last teacher before Doyoung was crap at organising, so Jaemin just took the lead, but now I guess the habit kind of stuck, so Doyoung just lets him carry on and just oversees it and stuff,” he explained to you, making small gestures as he spoke, turning around to face the circle promptly once Jaemin had returned.

You almost jumped when you felt Seungmin lean over to tell you, “don’t let this scare you but... another factor is because Jaemin has always been pretty strict about the club activities. Not saying that we don’t have fun—we definitely do have fun. But to put it simply....if you’re not really..genuine about it, he can usually tell right off the bat, and he won’t really be silent about it either, so....I would suggest treading a little more carefully around him, especially if you’re just...in it for the points or as a one-time thing.”

You nodded slowly, turning back to see Jaemin looking at you with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, “did you hear what I said, Y/N?” He asked, a teasing lilt to his tone, not to mention the hint of a smile at his lips.

You opened your mouth to reply, almost nodding, only to remember that in fact you didn’t hear him, deciding on giving him a sheepish smile instead, shaking your head slowly, “uh...sorry, I didn’t um... hear that,” you admitted, seeing him visibly relax, letting out what was a mix of a sigh and an amused huff.

“It’s alright, what I asked was whether you guys had any suggestions for gifts that we could make for the children at the orphanage we’ll be visiting.”

“Should we give them something more educational? You know, since they probably don’t have as many resources as we do,” you heard one girl from the group speak up, earning various nods from the group, including yourself.

Jaemin jut out his lower lip in a pout, nodding, “we could do that, did you have anything specific in mind?” He asked her.

The girl’s eyes widened, shaking her head and shrugging, “I’m not very sure..”

“What about like those stationery sets? We could buy them online and I’m pretty sure it can ship in before the day of the trip,” another girl offered, and you nodded, figuring it was a pretty good idea.

“Hey, Jaemin, do we still have leftover stuff from the bracelets we made for the fundraiser?” Seungmin spoke up from next to you, catching your interest.

“Bracelets?” You turned to him and asked, glancing back at Jaemin when you heard him let out an affirmative hum.

“Yeah, we have a lot left over from the last event we did, I can bring them and we can make some, since the trip is in less than a week,” Jaemin murmured, turning to the rest of the group, “do any of you think you can meet before the trip to make the bracelets? I could pass them to you if you guys are free,” Jaemin suggested.

You’d wanted to mention that you were available, opening your mouth and nodding at Jaemin, but your enthusiasm subsided quickly as you succumbed to the majority when you saw many of them shaking their heads, commenting about how they had yet to pack for the trip.

“Then, it’s alright, then. I don't think I’ll have time to make any beforehand anyway. We can just make them during the trip on one of the nights, after all, the trip isn’t very long.”

===

“You totally missed your chance, dude, you could’ve just asked her to make the bracelets with you, you know?”

Jaemin let out a resigned huff at Jeno’s chiding followed by the sound of the rapid-fire gunshots from Jeno’s game. Shaking his head as he shoved the last of his shirts into his luggage, staring at the bag full of beads and string tucked in his luggage.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m literally flying off in a few hours,” Jaemin shrugged, letting out a grunt as he heaved his luggage from his desk chair to his bed, making Jeno yelp and shift to the left before getting crushed, not without casting a glare in Jaemin’s direction.

“So do you have a plan?” Jeno asked, hissing loudly before setting his phone down next to him, bringing his other hand behind his head to support it as he lay on Jaemin’s bed.

“What plan? Plan for what?” Jaemin frowned, neatly folding his jacket and fitting it nicely into the corner of his suitcase.

Jeno shot him an unamused look, “for Y/N, dude.”

Jaemin’s movements halted for barely a second, shaking his head dismissively.

“There’s no plan. I shouldn’t pursue it,” he said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself.

“What do you mean you ‘shouldn’t pursue it’? You were the one that gave her that rose on Valentine’s Day and freaked out just because you gave her bread so what are you going on about saying you have no plan?”

Jeno’s tone was exasperated, “rule number one of gaming dude, doesn’t matter if u have a plan or not- just go with your gut. We die like men.”

Rolling his eyes, Jaemin walked into his bathroom, fishing out his toiletries as he replied Jeno, his voice echoing from the bathroom, “this isn't battleground, Jen.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. Game or not, you can’t close this case so quickly. At least try to get to know her first, before you totally write it off.”

Jaemin didn’t reply, letting a pensive silence fall between the two boys as he zipped up his luggage loudly, moving to double check if he had whatever he needed in his carry-on bag, going to the bulleted list in his phone and checking the items off as he went.

Jeno knew why Jaemin was so averse to the idea of pursuing you or even thinking about a relationship with you, the Jaemin that Jeno knew never would have let himself get into a relationship if he knew he wasn’t ready to commit and set aside time to make it work. Jaemin was one of the most romantic people he knew, but refusing a chance at love was just something he’d been forcing himself to do, until now at least. Which was why Jeno was determined (but mostly hopeful) to see this through.

“You know how I feel about these things...” Jaemin’s tone was warning, but it wasn’t like Jeno cared.

“Yes, I do,” Jeno replied confidently, “I’ve known you for like....ever, and don’t fight me when I say this because you know it’s true. But what I know....is that you love love.”

Jaemin opened his mouth to protest, only to close it back shut, his brain going against him by imagining all the possibilities of what kind of person you would be once he got to know you, curiosity getting the better of him, but more-so the hope that the vibe he was getting about you was correct.

Slinging his bag across his chest, he waved Jeno off.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just send me to the airport.”

===

"C'mon, don't look so disappointed, you're making me feel bad that our seats are assigned," Seungmin joked, noticing the way you kept glancing at where Jaemin and Doyoung were sitting on the aeroplane.

You flushed at how you were caught staring, shaking your head hurriedly so Seungmin wouldn't get the wrong idea, "no, no, no! Don't feel bad! You're a great seat buddy!”

Seungmin shot you a look of disbelief, eyebrows raising and lips parting, "wow, your tone was so reassuring," he murmured, shaking his head, "but that doesn't hide the fact that you were staring so spill."

Your eyes widened. "Spill?"

Seungmin nodded, leaning back in his seat, "we've got the whole flight for you to tell me about your ‘pres-agenda’," he waggled his eyebrows, a serene smile on his face.

Not being able to help the gasp that left your lips, you made a disgruntled sound, "what makes you think there even is a ‘pres-agenda’?"

Seungmin gave you a wide eyed look.

"No...don't tell me... it's a doyoung-agenda?!" he joked, making you roll your eyes, swatting at him with the sleeve of your jacket.

"Look, I know as much as you do, okay? At this point I still can’t tell if his flirting is to hit on me or if it's really cause it's second-nature to him," you huffed, recalling your annoyance at how he helped so many girls put their luggages in the cabin while you fumbled with yours.

"Well," Seungmin shrugged, "you have the whole trip to find out, if you think about it."

"Yeah, but how is a whole other story."

Seungmin shook his head dismissively, glancing at Jaemin's direction only to see Jaemin look away quickly, having been caught looking your way as well.

"Trust me, with someone like Jaemin...I don't think it's gonna be that hard."

And maybe Seungmin was right.

Once you'd landed, you barely had time to rest before Doyoung had announced that you were about to visit a university in the country, asking everyone to hurry and get on the bus so you wouldn't be late.

Jaemin got into the bus with the rest of the members, while you stayed at the door after being assigned by Doyoung to do a headcount. Only after you were done counting and had trudged up the bus, you realized that the numbers were uneven because Doyoung had occupied the seat next to him with the bags of snacks for the gifts. This meant that Jaemin had to find another seat, and Seungmin was sitting alone as well, making you wonder why no one had sat with Jaemin.

About to approach the empty seat next to Seungmin, you saw him lift the big bag of gifts from the floor to plop it on the empty seat next to him, mouthing something to you while gesturing wildly with his head at Jaemin's direction.

‘sit with him’ you managed to decipher.

To Jaemin, you clearly looked like you were having a dilemma regarding where to sit, and he took the liberty to glance around the bus, seeing that the only seat left was next to him.

"Y/N!" he called, waving his hand to get your attention, "you can sit here," he offered with a smile (though it didn't really seem like you had a choice). Feeling the bus start to move, you decided you'd better hurry up and sit before you fell over.

Landing on the seat next to him with a thud, you felt him take the things you were holding from your hands.

"Seatbelt," he murmured gently.

Mouth forming an 'o' shape in realization, you quickly did the buckle, taking your things back from him with a murmur of thanks.

You noticed Jaemin was scrolling through something on his phone that you thought resembled an itinerary, your curiosity getting the better of you.

"What's that?"

Jaemin turned to you, "huh? oh this, this is just the proposal the university sent to me."

"Proposal? What are they sending you a proposal for?" you frowned in confusion, making Jaemin have to look away lest his smile grow any bigger.

"It's kind of just like a formality, 'cause we're planning on working with them to like give like support to the orphanage we're visiting and all," Jaemin shrugged, and you hummed in understanding.

"Wow...that's really nice, that it's not just like a one-time thing but that we can actually give them like... continuous support," you smiled, and unconsciously, so did Jaemin, who nodded at you in agreement.

“Yeah, that’s what I told Doyoung, since we’ve been to that orphanage before I felt like it was a good opportunity for us to help them,” he murmured, and you couldn’t help but notice the way he looked so happy talking about it, tugging at your heartstrings (just a little).

“Also,” you added, a hint of playfulness in your tone, “you never told me you were the president of this club,” you accused, seeing him huff in amusement, fiddling with the papers in his hands.

Leaning against the window so he could face you better, Jaemin looked at you and shrugged.

"Didn't think it was important information, I guess."

"Is that why you kept trying to recruit me to sign up?" you laughed, feeling like you shouldn't have been laughing when you saw how seriously he shook his head.

"I asked you to sign up because I wanted to," he murmured, his voice almost getting drowned out by noise from the rest of the club members.

Flushing at the implications of the statement, you shoved his shoulder lightly, “Didn’t peg you to be such a flirt,” you laughed, your heart almost stopping when you saw the smile he gave you, only serving to draw you in further to wanting to find out just who Na Jaemin was.

“Seems like there’s still lots of things I don’t know about you, huh,” you huffed, feeling strangely confident talking to him (contrary to how you’d imagined yourself fumbling over your words in your head).

Jaemin shrugged, unbuckling his seatbelt and that was when you realised you’d already reached your first venue which was some university, if you remembered Seungmin telling you correctly on the plane.

“You’ve got the whole trip to find out,” he winked, standing up and briefing the class when Doyoung called for him. His words reminding you of what Seungmin had said on the plane.

You stared, dumbfounded at Jaemin’s behaviour even after he’d finished briefing the group in charge of the university visit, letting your limbs move mindlessly to manoeuvre yourself out of the bus and to where Seungmin was, the said boy wiggling his eyebrows at you as he spotted you approaching him.

“So? What’s the update?”

You shook your head, still at a loss of words from Jaemin’s sheer confidence. You heard Doyoung briefing the group on the details of the university visit, saying that the first agenda was to meet with the heads of whatever department you were visiting.

Following the group, you were led into this room where you saw various students dressed in blazers standing at the sides of the room, offering you bottled water and snacks as you walked past.

You took your seat next to Seungmin, as Jaemin spoke with Doyoung at the front of the room, introducing themselves to the heads of the department.

You watched as Jaemin had taken a seat at the tables near the front of the room with Doyoung, setting his bag down onto the chair before turning around to glance around the room.

Doyoung had stood up to set up the powerpoint slides at the computer, whereas you simply watched as Jaemin scanned the room, raising his hands to beckon one of the blazer-clad students, who rushed over to Jaemin, letting him whisper something to them before they’d promptly went to the table of refreshments, taking a few water bottles and bringing them to the corner section of the room who you were only realising now hadn’t received the gifts.

In your silent admiration, you hadn’t noticed that Jaemin had caught your gaze, his eyebrows quirking upwards ever so slightly and his hand raising in an ‘ok’ gesture to ask if everything was alright, earning a delayed nod from you.

Smiling, he’d turned back around, which Doyoung took as his queue to pick up the mic, introducing your school and saying a few words before passing the mic over to the group that was in charge of the university visit, and you’d let yourself zone out temporarily.

You noticed that there was one person in particular that had been very nice to you and Seungmin, which you were very appreciative of, giving you the impression that the students there were really friendly.

This friendliness had only increased when you had gone to sit in in one of their classes, and that student had taken a seat next to you, introducing himself to you and trying to make conversation, but your attention was rather unevenly split since Jaemin had been invited to introduce the school in front of the entire class.

Jaemin’s eyes narrowed at the student that was speaking to you, unbeknownst to you but going very much noticed by Seungmin, who gave Jaemin a shrug. Jaemin figured he would let it slide, consoling himself with the thought that ‘hey, maybe the students here were a little on the friendlier side, but that’s okay, at least they were welcoming instead of unwelcoming’.

You’d been led to another room where the group of you had sat in a circle together with the blazer-clad students, and you’d taken your seat next to Seungmin again, Jaemin sitting next to Seungmin. The blazer-clad students had initiated a discussion with the students from your school, talking about what they were and what their committee did, and inviting some of the students from your school to share about your experiences in the country so far, typical overseas-trip stuff, you figured.

You were pretty attentive to the discussion, until you heard the student next to you speak up, “so, uh...do you guys study this department as well?”

You turned to him, a hum of confusion leaving your lips, realising then he had directed his question towards you.

“No, actually, we don’t,” Seungmin answered, though you felt a little awkward under the student’s unwavering gaze.

“Ohh... cool, how old are you?” He asked, earning a hum from Seungmin, who didn’t know whether to laugh or be scared at the dagger eyes Jaemin was directing towards the student.

“Oh, uh..he’s 19, I’m 18,” you murmured, hearing the boy hum.

“Oh, I’m actually one of the oldest members of the committee, I’m like 22 this year,” he told you, making your eyes widen, not having expected him to be so much older than you.  

“Oh....” You laughed nervously, directing your attention elsewhere, pretending to fiddle with the badges on Seungmin’s bag.

“What kind of messaging apps do they use in your country?” You furrowed your eyebrows, naming the few that you used frequently, not understanding why he would ask you that.

“Ohhh,” Seungmin swore he heard disappointment in the boy’s tone, “over here we mostly use other apps, we don’t use those,” you scrunched your nose at his reply, looking back down at Seungmin’s badges.

You hoped the conversation would end there, afraid that he would ask for your number since you weren’t sure where this was heading, but it seemed as though he’d read your mind when you heard him open his mouth to speak again.

“Hey, you know maybe we can ex—”

Your attention was diverted when you heard their teacher’s voice sound through the microphone, asking for volunteers from your school to say a few words about how their experience has been in the school so far, everyone in the club immediately turning to Jaemin, hoping he would save the rest of the members from having to go up there and talk.

You felt the boy nudge you, gesturing for you to volunteer, making you wave your hand dismissively, “no, no, please.”

You missed how Jaemin glanced around at the club members (his gaze lingering on you and the blazer-wearing boy for a little longer than appropriate), seeming to have gotten the hint when he raised his hand lightly, giving the teacher a courteous smile as he got up to accept the microphone from her.

“Hi, my name is Jaemin and I’m the president of our club. Firstly I would like to say a big thank you to the people here such as the committee members and the teachers for being so...” Jaemin had to withhold himself from glaring at the boy seated next to you, “welcoming,” he drawled, narrowing his eyes at the boy next to you.

“But nonetheless, my experiences here have been pleasant so far, and I hope that our school has a chance to continue partnership with you in the future after this project that we embark on this trip,” you nodded, flashing an encouraging smile to Jaemin, which he returned sweetly, before handing the microphone back to the teacher.

After Doyoung and Jaemin had presented the gifts from the school to the university department head, you had all been called in for a group picture, Jaemin finding his way next to you (totally not just so that the boy couldn’t stand next to you), draping his hand over your shoulder casually as you all squeezed together for a photo.

“We’ll be heading for lunch after this, so let’s be quick so our itinerary doesn’t get delayed,” you heard Doyoung tell a group of the club members, and you and Seungmin had quickly made your way out of the room, the boy waving goodbye to you with a smile as you walked past him.

Seungmin couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, making you raise your eyebrows in confusion.

“Hmm?” you hummed.

“Nothing,” Seungmin smiled innocently.

The restaurant you were eating at for lunch was within walking distance, and you were eager to sit down and eat once the aroma of the food had hit you when you entered the restaurant, Jaemin beckoning you over to sit with him.

Taking a seat opposite Jaemin but next to Seungmin, you glanced up to see Jaemin turning around to scan the room again, and you could vaguely hear him muttering numbers under his breath.

“Does everyone have a drink?” He stood up slightly to ask, his hand resting on the back of his chair to support his weight, receiving murmurs of acknowledgement and affirmation, Jaemin invited everyone to start eating.

You took that as your queue to reach over to grab the bowl of rice just as Jaemin was about to take it to distribute the rice to the people sitting around him, not knowing that you had similar intentions.

“It’s okay, let me,” you insisted, beginning to scoop the rice onto Seungmin’s plate, seeing Jaemin withdraw his hand quickly, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks as he tilted his head down.

“Thanks,” he murmured once you had scooped the rice onto his plate, followed by the guy sitting next to you and lastly onto your own plate.

"How'd you guys find the university visit just now? Fun? Boring?" you heard Jaemin begin, glancing at the few of you expectantly as he chewed his food.

“You spent quite a while talking to one of the committee members, right?” The guy next to you had asked you, his name was Hyunjin if you remembered correctly.

You recognised him to be one of the guys on the school’s dance team, since you remembered going with Donghyuck to one of their performances before.

“I mean,” you laughed nervously, your gaze on your plate unwavering, “he was just being really friendly so I guess-”

Seungmin made a sound of disbelief, “you’re really too nice, he was totally hitting on you!” Seungmin pointed out, turning to Jaemin in his excitement, the latter letting his spoon linger between his lips as he pretended to be uninvested in the conversation.

“Don’t you think so? You saw it too, right?” Seungmin asked Jaemin, making Jaemin turn his head ever so slightly in Seungmin’s direction, his gaze moving to yours, before giving you a small nod.

“Yeah, I may have...heard a little bit of the conversation,” Jaemin shrugged, making your eyes widen, embarrassed for some reason that Jaemin had noticed and you hadn’t.

Jaemin set his cutlery down on his plate neatly, leaning back in his seat to dab at his mouth with a tissue.

“Thoughts?” Hyunjin held his fist out in front of Jaemin’s mouth to act as a microphone, earning a shrug from Jaemin.

“Wouldn’t have made it far with whatever strategy he had,” Jaemin shrugged.

You pursed your lips at his comment, unsure what to make of it, and you’d only wanted to sink into your seat even further when you heard Hyunjin make a low impressed noise.

“Ohhh...what’s this... is there some tension I feel here?”

Seungmin took that as his queue to join in, narrowing his eyes at Jaemin as Hyunjin continued, “Is our pres perhaps.... threatened?”

Jaemin scoffed, standing up, which the other members took as their queue to finish up and start heading back to the bus as well. Turning to glance at you before he turned back to Hyunjin to shake his head, “you wish.”

===

You hadn’t noticed you’d fallen asleep on the bus, being nudged awake by a particularly hard bump in the road the bus drove over, making you groan slightly, your jacket covering you snugly which added to the list of factors that may have lulled you to sleep without knowing. You only realised then that you were leaning on something, making your eyes widen, getting up slowly because you had assumed Jaemin was asleep, not wanting to wake him.

Turning your head to look around the bus, (as much as you could because falling asleep in that position was starting to kill your neck), you noticed that almost everyone had fallen asleep, even Doyoung and the tour guide.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” You were startled when you heard Jaemin murmur softly, turning your head as fast as you could without straining your neck, seeing him with his phone in hand, looking at you with a sheepish expression.

You opened your mouth to speak, shaking your head, “oh, no, don’t worry you didn’t,” you assured him, not being able to help but glance at his shoulder that you had fallen asleep on, a rush of heat going to your cheeks. “Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep without knowing, sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

Jaemin gave you a tired smile, shaking his head, making the hood on his head shift slightly, “It’s fine, I wasn’t uncomfortable. Did you manage to get some rest?” he asked, and his tone was so reassuring that you almost actually believed him.

Nodding at him, you sunk back down into your seat, hearing him yawn. “Did you?”

Jaemin shook his head, “couldn’t sleep,” he let out a soulless huff of laughter, holding his phone up, “was working on my uni applications.”

“So early? I thought you were only graduating next year?” You asked, your ignorance making Jaemin feel a strange sense of relief.

“I’m doing early applications...” he sighed, “so I’ve got to kind of get a few things ready like my essay and like testimonials from teachers and stuff like that,” he murmured. Making you think of Donghyuck, who you knew usually left things to a little later since he would have to discuss with his parents before making any big decisions.

“Oh, so you’ve like already like discussed with your parents and stuff?” You asked, spilling out whatever information you knew that you could relate to this situation, seeing Jaemin press his lips together in a tight line, frowning slightly before he eventually shrugged.

“They uh.. don’t really care as long as it’s the top 2 universities,” you couldn’t help but sense something sad in his tone, urging you to prompt him but at the same time rendering you unsure if it was a sensitive topic for him.

“Oh...um, so like... you’re more on the science side?” You asked, recalling Donghyuck telling you that he would never be able to find a course that suited him in the top 2 universities since he was more inclined towards pursuing music.

Jaemin shrugged, “I guess it’s kind of what I have to pursue to get ahead. Like...money wise and stuff, I guess,” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t sound very convinced,” you laughed, feeling yourself relax when you saw Jaemin give you a smile, shaking his head.

“No, you’re right. I’m not.” Jaemin told you, fiddling with his phone in his hands as you hugged your jacket closer to yourself.

“Would I be reading too much into it if I take this as you would choose a different course if it weren’t for your parents?”

Jaemin’s smile dropped, something in your words resonating with him, since he wasn’t used to talking about this with someone other than Jeno, and even when he did talk about it with Jeno, Jeno wasn’t as straightforward about it with him as you were, but something in Jaemin felt as though he needed to hear it.

Jaemin gave you a firm nod.

“I wanted to do photography, or like...social work” he told you, a hint of yearning in the way he spoke, his choice of words making you feel as though he didn’t consider it to be an option anymore.

“But I chose to do medicine instead, figured that it was the only way I could appease both my parents...and myself,” he shrugged.

“Wow,” you murmured, admiration at Jaemin’s consideration hitting you, thinking about how different he was from Donghyuck.

“My friend Donghyuck, he would never. Even now since he wants to do music, he was planning on just choosing it for his uni application and dealing with the aftermath from his parents,” you told him, seeing Jaemin’s lips quirk up in a smirk at the mention of Donghyuck.

Jaemin shook his head, “that’s just Donghyuck for you,” he laughed. “My parents....have pretty strongopinions. And I guess it’s just always been like that since I was young?” Jaemin searched your expression for any sign that he was oversharing, but your attention only prompted him to continue.

“And I kind of...I think there was a point of time when I realised I had my own strong opinions??...and most of the time they didn’t line up with what my parents wanted for me or what they thought was right so I just...had to find other ways to be a few steps ahead of them, you know? So I could do things that I actually wanted to do,” he explained, though still in a very vague way.

You felt a billion thoughts rush through your head, thoughts ranging from how Jaemin’s interests were in social work, and how Seungmin had told you that the club meant a lot to him, followed by the way he even sacrificed things like a simple nap on the bus to work on his university application essay.

You were starting to realise just what an angel Na Jaemin was, thinking about how he mentioned that he had to be a few steps ahead, to do things that he wanted to do.

“Like this?” You asked, referring to the overseas trip.

Your question seemed to have caught him off guard, and you ignored how everyone else had already started to wake up, since you were already reaching the destination.

Jaemin gave you a smile, and you made a mental note: this was one of his more genuine smiles, and you could feel it.

“Yeah, like this.”

Throughout the rest of the day, when you were having dinner, you noticed the way Jaemin would bring his hands up to massage his neck and shoulder, wincing every so often, and you didn’t have to think twice to know this was because he’d sat in the same position for too long.

Taking it upon yourself to text him to ask for his room number that night as everyone was getting ready to go to sleep, you took a few of your muscle ache relief patches, resolutely making your way to his hotel room and knocking on the door.

Jaemin had opened the door, dressed in a simple white t-shirt and pajama pants, a small towel draped over his wet hair.

“Hey, what happened? Is there anything you need?” He asked, and you shook your head, an embarrassed smile on your face.

Holding out the pain relief patches to him, you saw his eyes widen, before looking back from the patches to you with an incredulous look on his face.

“Wh-...how did you...”

“I noticed,” you told him simply, and he reached his hands away from the door to accept the patches from you, bringing one of his hands up to cover his growing smile, shaking his head at you.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Make sure you get a good rest tonight, goodnight,” you told him.

Jaemin was still at a loss for words, inhaling before letting out a short sigh, nodding at you with a smile, “I will. Goodnight.”

===

The next day was more tiring than you had initially expected it to be, and you were thankful you’d given Jaemin the pain relief patches, since painting the mural required a lot of arm movement.

You’d sat next to him on the bus again today but you were too tired to talk, falling asleep quicker than you would’ve liked, since your discussion from the day before was just left hanging in the air like that, a part of you still curious as to know more about Jaemin.

You had gone to the orphanage to paint a mural with the children, and if you weren’t already head over heels for Jaemin before you went to the orphanage you sure were now.

You weren’t sure where he got all his energy from to interact and be so lively with the children, not seeming to mind when they’d gotten paint on him and his clothes, or even the way they kept trying to jump onto his back for a piggyback ride. You were glad the children had taken a liking to you as well, the feeling strangely bittersweet to you, since you would love to interact more with them from the sheer happiness it brought both you and them, but you knew this was a rare occasion for them to do activities like this.

You were too busy interacting with the children to notice the way a few of the club members had already started coughing and some were beginning to feel unwell. Only when you’d returned to the bus did you realise that Seungmin was one of them, huddled in his seat desperate to get some rest because of how horrible his throat was feeling.

Jaemin had gone to a convenience store nearby and bought vitamin supplements for the club members, not to mention a coffee for himself, passing the energy drinks and vitamins around when you were all taking a break after completing the mural and it was almost dinnertime, handing it to you last before sitting down next to you on the pavement.

You watched as you were eating the vitamin as Doyoung had walked over to where you and Jaemin were, giving you a small smile before turning to Jaemin, “you guys haven’t done the gifts for the orphanage children yet, right? I heard who was it telling me just now you guys had planned on making bracelets, right?”

Jaemin’s eyes widened, nodding, biting on his straw absently as he pulled his phone from his pocket, “right, almost forgot, I was planning on texting the group to ask if they would be alright to do it tonight.”

You saw your phone light up with a notification, glancing down to see Jaemin’s message he had just sent to the group of you that were in charge of the orphanage visit.

jaemin 6:15pm - hey guys! just a reminder that we still have to make the bracelets for the kids at the orphanage so I was thinking we could meet tonight to do them? we can meet in my room to do it since my room has a little more space -

You saw a few of them acknowledge the message, so you figured those were the club members that were still feeling well enough.

Jaemin stood up when Doyoung had announced that the bus had arrived to take you to the dinner location, and you’d all boarded the bus quickly, using your phone and looking at social media to kill time as Jaemin was busy with his phone.

Jeno 6:20pm - any updates??? -

Jaemin typed out a reply quickly to the dnyl groupchat

Jaemin 6:20pm - we just finished painting the mural, heading to dinner now. the kids were so cute :( -

Jeno 6:20pm - thanks for telling me but I meant updates about HER -

Jaemin shot you a furtive glance, suddenly hyper aware that you were seated next to him

Jaemin 6:20pm - honestly, shes really nice, like...rly rly nice -

Jeno 6:21pm - ANDDD???? omg ure so frustrating ure just like Renjun -

Donghyuck 6:21pm - truth -

6:22pm - and nothing! idk what ure expecting –

Donghyuck 6:22pm - do u get the sense whether she likes u or not at least?? –

This made Jaemin wonder, was your niceness caused by your like towards him? Or did you even like him? At this point, Jaemin wasn’t sure which answer he wanted more.

6:24pm - idk I can’t tell u guys r stressing me out -

Donghyuck 6:24pm - please u’d be stressed even if we didn’t bring it up -

Jaemin locked his phone when he felt you tap him.

“Hey, we just reached,” you told him, grabbing your water bottle as he stood up, holding his hand above your head so you wouldn’t hit your head on the overhead cabin as you straightened up.

You noticed that Jaemin hadn’t left his jacket on the bus, instead, he’d kept his hoodie on, the hood draped over his head as he walked next to you to enter the restaurant, taking his seat next to you this time, which earned many looks from the club members—unbeknownst to you.

Seungmin had taken a seat in front of you, looking very tired, making you frown in concern.

“Hey, are you feeling alright?”

Seungmin shook his head, “I really just wanna go back to the hotel room and pass out, I feel a fever coming on,” he told you, earning a disgruntled noise from Jaemin.

“You should, you don’t have to join us to make the bracelets. Get as much rest as you can so you don’t get more sick,” Jaemin told him, earning an appreciative nod from Seungmin.

“Thanks pres. Sorry, I really wanted to help, but at this rate I don’t know if I can stay awake.”

Jaemin shook his head, and you took the liberty of distributing the food as he spoke, “it’s really fine, your health is more important.” (How ironic, Jaemin knew if Renjun heard this he’d be giving an earful to Jaemin about hypocrisy).

You knew that there were many bracelets to be made, but you were hoping that if enough of you showed up tonight you would be able to get it done quickly, and you were just as eager to get it done so you could go to sleep.

When you’d gone back to the hotel, you took your time to shower and get changed since you knew the meeting time was a little later, coming out and seeing your roommate already getting ready to sleep on her bed.

“Hope you don’t mind, I’m really tired,” she told you, giving you an apologetic smile.

You shook your head reassuringly, taking a seat on the edge of your bed as you dried your hair, checking your phone as you did so, seeing a flood of texts in the group chat saying that majority of them were feeling unwell, with some of them even puking and others running a fever.

Your heart sank, though a part of you questioned if they were really sick or not, since you remembered a few of them to have been perfectly fine during dinner but you figured you should give them the benefit of the doubt.

Coming out from the group chat, you saw that Jaemin had messaged you privately

Jaemin 9:56pm - looks like its just both of us left, are you alright to make the bracelets? you can just come up to my room when you’re ready -

You’d sent him a message saying you were on your way, thankful that his room was on the same floor as yours, telling your roommate you would go make the bracelets, receiving her tired hum of acknowledgement before you left.

Upon reaching Jaemin’s room you entered, you could hear some upbeat Ariana Grande song faintly playing from the inside of the room. His hair was messy, dressed in a pink hoodie and black sweatpants, waving at you in greeting before letting you enter the room.

You pointed a finger in question at the upbeat music he was playing at this time of the night, an eyebrow raising in question.

“How are you feeling?” you asked him.

“Feeling great! That coffee I drank just now really got me awake.” you shot him a look, clearly not having asked about his coffee, wanting to know about whether he was feeling unwell instead.

“Sorry, I really wasn’t expecting so many of them to fall sick,” he told you, making you laugh, raising your eyebrows at him in amusement.

“Why are you apologising? It’s not your fault,” you told him, seeing him close his mouth abruptly, taking a seat on his bed where he already had the beads and string laid out.

“Can’t help but feel responsible for them,” he admitted, making you let out a dissatisfied hum.

Looking at him with a firm gaze, you took a seat on his bed next to him, “you don’t have to be. They can take care of themselves, you know,” you huffed.

Jaemin shrugged, though he would never admit your words made his heart skip a beat, keeping his gaze averted as he handed you a string and picked one up for himself, starting to string beads in as he pleased, and you heard the song change.

You were almost done with your first bracelet when you heard Jaemin’s phone start ringing, the music stopping. Picking up his phone and holding it up to his ear with one hand, clasping his bracelet tightly between his fingers in his other hand, he answered the call.

“Hello?” Jaemin spoke.

“Hey, I just saw your texts, so are you making bracelets with her now?” Renjun’s teasing tone was heard through the phone, and Jaemin was thankful he hadn’t decided to put the call on speaker mode.

“Uh-huh,” Jaemin answered.

“Anything else been happening? I heard from Jeno that heard from Felix that heard from Hyunjin that there’s some sort of virus going around there?”

Jaemin sighed, “yeah, it’s pretty bad, but it’s alright I guess, I mean, I’m not sick yet so I guess I’m fine,” you wondered who it was that Jaemin was talking to, a part of you wondering who it was that could warrant such an affectionate tone from him, your first thought being maybe this was somebody he was interested in.

You needed to make sure your bracelet was big enough, so you reached over, asking Jaemin silently if he could lend you his wrist, which he offered wordlessly, letting you wrap the bracelet around his wrist, smiling in satisfaction when you found it was long enough, pulling it away from his wrist and tying a knot to secure the beads.

“Can you please drink more water? Please take more care of yourself,” Renjun reminded, making Jaemin nod.

“Yeah, my throats been feeling pretty scratchy, but it’s fine, I promise.”

“You always say that but you still end up getting sick,” Renjun’s tone was warning, making Jaemin giggle.

“I’m touched, you’re always so concerned about my health,” Jaemin teased, making Renjun scoff.

“Yeah, and from what I’m hearing from Jeno, you’re giving me reason to be concerned about your love life as well.”

“I’ll be fine, trust me. Okay I gotta go now, bye,” “Bye, Jaemin.”

“Love you,” Jaemin drawled, teasing lilt to his tone, earning a gagging noise from Renjun before the latter had hung up.

Jaemin set his phone down next to him, continuing to string his beads as you looked at him curiously.

“Umm...girlfriend?” You blurted, shocked when you saw Jaemin choke, coughing and patting his chest as he calmed down, shaking his head at you profusely.

“No, no, friend. No girlfriend,” Jaemin said clearly, making you hum, feeling him lean over to wrap his bracelet around your wrist, pulling it away and tying a knot.

“That’s interesting...you’re pretty popular in our school, you know,” you told him, seeing him flush, shaking his head at you in dismissal.

“Please, I’m flattered but...,” he sighed, making you tilt your head in confusion, tying the knot on your third bracelet.

“But?” You prompted.

Jaemin knew his reason for not wanting to get into a relationship—mostly his fear of not being able to commit, not wanting to lead whoever it was on if he knew he had too many other commitments that would keep him from being invested in the relationship.

“Nothing,” Jaemin shrugged, and if you were dissatisfied with his answer, you didn’t show it.

You continued making bracelets in the relative silence, the silence only broken when Jaemin had let out an excited sound when he glanced at the bracelet you were making.

“I like this one! It’s pretty,” he complimented, making you smile.

“Thanks, do you want it? We have more than enough beads left for the kids,” you offered, wrapping it around his wrist to measure it.

He gave you a surprised look, “can I, really?”

You nodded, “yeah, sure why not?”

Jaemin smiled, his childlike demeanour making you awfully want to squeeze his cheeks.

“Nice. I should make one for you too! Then we can have matching ones,” he beamed, making you laugh.

“Whatever makes you happy, Jaemin.”

He took the bracelet from your hands, following the colour scheme closely so he could make one identical to yours, and you took the time to make the remaining bracelets, seeing as you only had a few left. By the time you were done, so was he, and he held it up for you to see, one hand reaching over to pull your wrist towards him, slipping the bracelet onto your wrist, smiling in content as he wore his.

“Are we all done?” he asked, earning a nod from you.

Jaemin picked the bracelets up again to count them just to be sure, he knew he wouldn’t completely be at ease until he double-checked that things were in order.

“...42, 44, 45! Nice,” he grinned. Setting the bracelets down, Jaemin leaned back on his bed, supporting his weight with his hands. “Thanks so much for helping me, by the way.”

You noticed Jaemin’s voice sounded more strained, making you recall what he told his friend previously about how his throat felt scratchy.

You shook your head, “it’s really nothing, I’m glad I could help.”

A silence fell between the both of you, making you feel a sort of tension that you couldn’t place an emotion behind, figuring you should leave before you did anything stupid, especially when you had Jaemin looking absolutely angelic just sitting there, messy hair and boyish smile, practically begging you to kiss him.

Standing up abruptly, you stretched your arms over your head, yawning slightly as your arms fell limp at your sides.

“God, my throat feels horrible,” Jaemin sighed, standing up and walking over to the desk in the room, picking up the kettle to pour a cup of water for himself.

“Are you falling sick?” You asked him.

Though you knew the answer was pretty obvious, you weren’t surprised when you saw him shake his head, “no, I mean like, there’s so many other people that are way sicker than me, I think-“ he stopped to cough, wincing from the pain. “I’ll probably get up earlier tomorrow morning with Doyoung and see if I can get some medicine for them or something,” he told you, feeling guilty under your hard gaze.

“Hey, don’t give me that look, I’ll be fine, I promise,” he opened the door for you, and you were about to step out when you turned around so you were barely inches away from him, bringing your hand up to press the back of your hand against his forehead, frowning at how he’d felt as though he was running a fever.

Jaemin gave you a reassuring smile, pulling your hand away from his forehead by your wrist, his thumb running over the beads on your bracelet.

“I’m responsible for the club members, I have to try my best to make sure they’re okay, I can’t just let my own sickness get in the way of making sure they’re okay,” he answered your unspoken question, making you sigh.

“Okay fine, but Jaemin, let me…be ‘responsible’ for you, then, alright? I’m perfectly fine, but you’re falling sick. And I know for a fact that with this attitude you’re not gonna be paying much attention to yourself,” you told him, seeing him open his mouth to speak but you shook your head.

“You don’t need any more worries,” you told him, and just like that, Jaemin started to think that maybe he should be taking Jeno’s advice, not sure when the next time he would be able to find a girl like you was gonna come along, if ever.

You noticed it too, the way how now when Jaemin was looking at you, there was something different about the way he was looking at you, it was...almost affectionate.

Jaemin nodded, squeezing your wrist gently before letting go, his hand rubbing your shoulder soothingly, “goodnight.”

The next day, while Jaemin was busy making sure the club members drank enough water or were taking their vitamins, your job was the same, making sure Jaemin was drinking enough water, getting rest on the bus and eating his vitamins, you were glad you’d realized you brought throat soothing lozenges that you’d given to Jaemin (who thought they were a Godsend).

You made a mental note of things Jaemin did or how he behaved when he was unwell, his demeanour surprisingly cute to you.

1. Jaemin didn’t mind the taste of medicine, his tastes tended to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum

After you’d given Jaemin something to drink to soothe his cough on the bus, you started to feel as though you wouldn’t mind doing this forever from the way he leant his head against the seat, looking down at you with a soft tired smile on his face, murmuring a soft ‘thank you’ to you.

You knew it wasn’t as if your actions went unnoticed, but you just didn’t expect it to be noticed by Doyoung of all people.

It was evening time when you were already at the airport departure terminal, waiting for those who had gone to the toilet to come back so you could get ready to board the plane.

“You and Jaemin seem pretty close,” your eyes widened, turning around to make sure that it was Doyoung who was talking to you.

Shrugging, you let out a nervous laugh, “uh...I guess? What makes you think that?” You glanced at Jaemin, who was currently sitting at a bench next to the big glass windows, not having the energy to stand for so long.

Doyoung almost snorted, folding his arms over his chest as he spoke, “Literally no one in the club other than you dares to do what you’ve been doing for the past few hours, much less actually have a conversation with him about community service.”

You couldn’t help the confused hum that left you. “Why? He’s so nice.”

Doyoung shrugged, a fatherly smile on his face as he glanced over at Jaemin.

“Not many people get to see that. He tends to trust very few people,” Doyoung glanced around as he spoke, giving him a distracted look, “but I guess he trusts you, from the looks of it.”

You watched as the students had started coming out from the washroom, Jaemin coming back from the big glass panes to where you were, shocking you when he’d linked arms with you, and you had to pretend you weren’t affected by it as you walked into the plane.

Jaemin looked almost disappointed to sit next to Doyoung, making the older boy agree to letting Jaemin and Seungmin swap seats (not without an eye-roll from Doyoung of course). You added to your mental list of all things Jaemin related.

2. Jaemin wasn’t used to being taken care of,

And you knew this because you could sense how shocked he was whenever you did simple things like drape his jacket over him or adjust his head so his neck wouldn’t be sore.

New findings, 3. Jaemin gets more affectionate when he is sick

You knew this when you felt his head fall onto your shoulder gently after the plane had taken off. Little did you know, this was Jaemin’s way of letting his walls down to you, finally comfortable enough around you to let himself stop being so on-edge all the time. The sight was one to behold, Jaemin with his hood draped over his head, snuggled against your side with his arms tightly hugging the small pillow they’d given, but at the same time, the both of you could so get used to how it felt.

===

The next night, when Jaemin returned home and worked on his university application, he’d started to feel the anxiousness getting to him, thoughts of what would happen to the community service club once he graduated littering his mind, together with other thoughts like how he was going to portray himself in a way the university would find worthy of accepting him, to thoughts of whether he’d done a good enough job in planning the community service trip.

Did I even do that good of a job? Half of them fell sick, so there must’ve been something wrong with the catering—

Jaemin’s thoughts were interrupted when he glanced at his phone, suddenly getting the urge to call you.

“Hello?” he found his body moving faster than his mind could process, hearing your voice on the phone.

“Hey, it’s really late. What’s up? Did something happen?” your tone was concerned, calm. Something Jaemin never knew he needed to hear as much as he was realizing he did now.

“Nothing just…wanted to check on you, see how you were doing after the trip,” Jaemin lied, his heart swelling with butterflies when he heard you laugh.

“I should be the one checking on you, I’m fine. How are you? Have you been resting?”

Jaemin hummed, “yeah…I mean, no, not really.” Jaemin wasn’t sure what was taking over him when he murmured again. “I was kind of feeling a little shitty…but honestly..I’m feeling a little better now.”

You’d assumed he was referring to his sore throat and fever, “that’s great! Make sure you drink a lot of water and sleep early, alright?”

Jaemin smiled, resting his arm on his table and leaning his head against his arm, nodding even though you couldn’t see him, “Uh-huh, I will. You’d better go to sleep too, sorry for calling you so late. Thanks,Y/N.”

You made a sound of confusion, “thanks? For what?”

“Picking up.” Jaemin hated how breathy his voice sounded, hoping he didn’t sound too whipped.

You huffed, not being able to help your smile as well, “Anytime.”

===

“Jeno, I think I’m in love,” Jaemin buried his head in his pillow, earning a groan from Jeno who had just woken up from his slumber on Jaemin’s bed.

“Dude, it’s 4am, can this discussion wait a few hours.”

“It can’t! It’s gonna be white day in a few hours! Okay, technically it’s already white day but it’s gonna be white day in school!”

Jeno sighed, sitting up on Jaemin’s bed to look at the distressed boy, “what’s stopping you?” Jeno murmured, fatigue laced in his tone, his eyes shut as he spoke to his friend.

“What if like...I have so much.......shit going on in my life that I can’t like fully give her the attention she deserves?” Jaemin’s voice lowered to a murmur, and Jeno opened his eyes, knowing that this was something that always held Jaemin back.

“Okay, why not...I give you some situations and you tell me how you would deal with it.” Jaemin nodded, sombre expression on his face as Jeno began his quick fire.

“Let’s say...what if you had a date with her and then suddenly Doyoung texts you asking for a proposal due the next morning,” knowing Jaemin’s usual reaction would be to cancel the date and finish the proposal that night.

Jaemin answered in a heartbeat, “I’d go on the date, then just stay up to rush the proposal or something. Doyoung can wait.”

Jeno’s eyes widened in surprise, “okay next, what about...um...okay! What if you had a volunteer event but it coincides with like her award ceremony or something.”

Jeno asked, recalling a similar incident when Jaemin had skipped his cousin’s award ceremony to go for a volunteer event with the club.

“She doesn’t receive awards every day, I’d go for the award ceremony,” Jeno shot him a knowing look which Jaemin promptly ignored.

“Your parents don’t like her,” Jeno shot at Jaemin, seeing the latter shake his head.

“Don’t care, it’s my girlfriend, not theirs.”

Jeno almost squealed, taking the pillow nearest to him and shoving it at Jaemin. “I’m pretty sure you already solved your dilemma for yourself.”

Jaemin sighed, knowing that Jeno was right, again.

Jaemin’s heart was at unease after that, leaving the house early to buy chocolates for you, preparing his speech in his head for when he would tell you how he felt.

You’d already figured your White day would be just as uneventful as Valentine’s Day, seeing your classmates gushing about what their boyfriends had gotten them, some even walking in with big teddy bears that they struggled to fit in their lockers. So you didn’t think much of it when Jaemin had texted you when you were in the middle of your project meeting.

Jaemin 12:31pm - hey, r u free to meet? -

You frowned, knowing your consultation wasn’t going to be ending anytime soon, but still wanting to see Jaemin nonetheless.

12:31pm - sorry :(( im in a project meeting right now, but i can meet you after school? At like 6? -

Jaemin’s reply came in quickly,

Jaemin 12:31pm - sure!! 6 at the football field -

You thought nothing of it, almost forgetting what day it was as you went about the rest of your lessons, whereas Jaemin, who was done with his lessons earlier than you were, was already waiting at the football field, starting to get restless with his chocolates and balloons, not to mention oblivious to the fact that he was drawing attention from other students because no one could believe that Na Jaemin of all people had prepared to give someone things on White day.

“Do you think she’s actually gonna show up?” Donghyuck asked from where he and the rest of the dnyl boys were sat on the bleachers.

This earned him a (harsh) nudge from Renjun, “of course she’s gonna come, she’s really nice.”

“You say it like you actually know her,” Jeno snickered, making Renjun sigh.

“I hope she comes soon so I don’t have to listen to you guys any longer.”

Lying on the fake grass of the football field, Jaemin was momentarily distracted by the pretty colours the sunset cast in the sky, not noticing that you had already showed up.

“He kind of looks like a supply crate in battleground, should we ask him to sit instead of lie down?” Jeno wondered.

Renjun let out a strangled scream, “oh my god, too late. I think she’s here.” He nudged Donghyuck, the three boys’ attention turning to the girl walking towards where Jaemin lay on the field.

You’d walked to the field, a part of you growing very amused when you spotted the balloons next to a figure lying down in the middle of the field, walking closer until you were standing over him, seeing him furrow his eyebrows before his eyes widened, sitting up quickly and almost bumping heads with you if you hadn’t moved back quick enough.

“Wow, what’s all this? Got swarmed with gifts again today?” You laughed, seeing Jaemin get up off the floor, holding the box of chocolates with the balloons tied around them in his hands.

“Um...not quite,” he murmured, a shy tint of pink making its way onto his cheeks.

“What’d you wanna meet me for?” You asked.

Jaemin had his whole speech rehearsed in his head, but it seemed as though his body thought otherwise, holding the box of chocolates out for you.

“Here,” he murmured, this time, a lot more confident than he was on Valentine’s Day.

You tilted your head at him, an amused smile playing at your lips.

“How do you think it’s going?” Jeno whispered, “she looks more amused than flattered.”

“I don’t know why you’re whispering, I could shout and he wouldn’t be able to hear me. I’m sure they’re doing fine,” Renjun shrugged.

You hummed, laughter bubbling from your lips, “is this gonna become a tradition of yours? Giving me things on special occasions?”

Jaemin pursed his lips, pretending to be in thought.

“Only if you let me,” he smiled.

Your eyes widened, unable to help yourself from the implications of his statement, making him nod at you in affirmation.

“I kinda asked you here to like...yeah, ask you if you uh...wanna like go out with me?” He asked, and you fiddled with the ribbon of the balloon, your breath suddenly getting caught in your throat.

“Like...date?”

Jaemin nodded.

“For real?” You blurted in your panic, seeing him nod again, suddenly exuding a confidence you weren’t used to.

“Yeah...like date. For real,” he smiled, bringing a hand up to run through his hair, and you couldn’t find a better reaction in you than to nod dumbly.

Jaemin smiled, pushing the balloons aside, leaning closer to you. “I really wanna kiss you right now,” he murmured, frowning.

You glanced around nervously, embarrassed that there were students watching, not wanting to kiss Jaemin in front of the school.

“Jaemin, there are people watching,” you muttered, embarrassment creeping up on you, seeing Jaemin straighten up to glance around, shooting a grin at the dnyl boys before looking back at you.

You grasped the box tighter in your hands, feeling Jaemin bring his head down so his lips were next to your ear, “I think I have a better idea.”

Reaching his hand around to grasp the strings of the balloons, he pulled them down so that the balloons would shield the both of you from view.

“May I?” He asked, his voice gentle and smooth, enough to make your head spin.

Nodding, “of course,” you huffed, closing your eyes when you felt his lips press against yours, sweetly and so, so much like Jaemin.

One of his hands went up to tuck your hair behind your ear, going to the back of your neck and grasping it gently, feeling him smile into the kiss, enough to make more excitement bubble in the pit of your stomach. Your hand going to grasp gently at his waist, your other hand going up to cup the side of his face gently, feeling him smile into the kiss when you did so.

Pulling away before you got carried away, you heard the faint sound of cheering, turning to see 3 boys sitting on the bleachers shouting what sounded like cheers for you and Jaemin.

Squatting and covering your face in embarrassment, you couldn’t help but laugh, “Jaemin! Who are they?”

Jaemin turned casually, gesturing at the bleachers with his thumb, “oh them? They’re my dnyl club members!”

“Dnyl?”

“Yeah, it’s a ‘don’t need your love’ club one of the exchange students started, something like those lonely hearts club things,” Jaemin shrugged, earning a confused hum from you.

“Why are you in the club?” You found the whole idea pretty amusing, to have someone as flirtatious as Jaemin be part of some anti-love club.

Jaemin shrugged, giving you a small smirk, “come to think of it, I won’t be needing the club meetings so much now, will I?”

===

“Woah, who gave you those?” You and Jaemin were stopped by Doyoung on your way out of school afterwards, the teacher gesturing to your balloons with his iPad.

You cupped your hand around your mouth, looking around to make sure no one was listening, “Jaemin” you whispered, earning a wide eyed look from Doyoung, who looked at the grinning Jaemin as though he’d just told Doyoung he adopted a child.

Shaking his head with a good-natured smile, Doyoung sighed wistfully, “can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Congrats on your um...whatever young people call it now,” he waved the both of you off, making you laugh.

“Thank’s Doyoung!” Jaemin called, turning to you, smiling giddily.

“What are you smiling about,” you scoffed, seeing him shake his head, linking arms with you.   Jaemin looked away to hide his blush, shaking his head as he led you out of the school, for the first time, leaving school without his mind filled with worries, instead, it was filled with thoughts of you, and oh, how Jaemin loved the way it made him feel.

“Nothing, just...happy.”

470 notes · View notes

godwithwethands · 4 years ago

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lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would 🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!!

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit 🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting 😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob 🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i��m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me 👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn:

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji] 😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.)

5. Sam’s kindness

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord.

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her 🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.”

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,, 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side 🤔

Miscellaneous:

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act.

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light? 🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done:

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too 😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!!

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay)

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao 😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!!

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/

#stargate sg1 #baalsam #samantha carter #baal #my thoughts #that was long but fun #i dont think im bringing anything new to this part of the fandom but heyyyyyyyy #*daniel voice* anyway i'm sorry but that's how i feel about it!!!!! what do you think?????#in conclusion: THEY ARE HILARIOUS. that's it #i could have just said that #but i didnt #me*baalsam

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immortalcoelacanth · 5 years ago

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HLVRAI Oneshot: A Goodnight (Kiss) Passport Check

*kicks down door*

FUCK I HAVE FALLEN INTO ANOTHER FANDOM AND CANNOT GET OUT! I would like to blame my friends (you know who you are) for dragging me into this pit and causing me to get inspired to write things, so BEHOLD!

A FLUFF ONESHOT BASED ON THE ABSCOND AU CREATED BY @godros(not that you really need to know about that AU for context as it’s just... fluff, but check it out if you’re interested!)

Word count: 1412

Summary: Even in his dreams, Benrey just had to check Gordon’s passport.

Gordon was, to put it bluntly, exhausted.

Aside from his typical work, he had also been more involved in the lives of his… friends.

Could he call them that? Friends? Technically they were nothing more than data and code, but they felt real. They engaged with him, spoke with him, and acted like they all cared about him in their own way.

Even Bubby, who never failed to point out how much he dragged the Science Team down at times, expressed his own concern when he faltered or got “hurt”.

Always with a near excessive amount of cursing, but it was concern nonetheless!

And then there was Benrey.

The asshole troll who was always asking about his passport or playing games with him on the Playstation. His snide comments and quips were intermingled with jokes, making it challenging to read his emotions and figure out how he actually felt about things.

Benrey was an enigma of sorts, someone who enraged and intrigued Gordon. As such it was all the more emotionally draining when interacting with the AI, leaving him mentally and physically exhausted.

Hey, moving your arms around a bunch might be great for building up muscle, but doing such a thing for a long period of time made them feel like led. Plus, there was the struggle of trying to get his gear off after every session and clean up any messes he made, he still needed to replace that lamp after one of his earlier sessions...

So, it was no surprise when Gordon passed out at his desk, head buried in his arms as he snored away. The monitor in front of him was shut off, all computing tasks done for the day. His VR gear was strewn around the desk here and there, and all was silent in the room.

Silent, that is, until the monitor slowly turned back on.

The screen glowed with a faint light, showing nothing but a grey expanse. Movement happened somewhere beyond it, causing the screen to ripple as though it were made of water. A disturbing sight made all the more worrisome as a pair of hands appeared.

First poking at the fluid barrier, causing it to ripple further before eventually reaching through to the sleeping man beyond. Gordon was still snoring away, completely unaware of what was going on as one of the hands poked at his face while the other picked up a lock of his hair and gently felt it.

Seeing that the man did not wake up from the touch, the owner of the hands decided to kick things up a notch. Both of Gordon’s forearms were gripped, not too tightly, and he was yanked through the screen.

Nothing broke or tore, there were no sounds of pain of electrical malfunctions. All was as silent and peaceful as it had previously been.

On this side of the screen, that is, but on the other side things were not quite as calm. Benrey stood over the still sleeping leader of the Science Team, arms crossed and grinning to himself as he took in the humorous sight before him.

Gordon was crumpled over and somewhat folded in half as he continued to sleep, oblivious to everything that had happened. Suppressing a snicker, Benrey gently booted the slumbering man in the side and spoke.

“nice landing, feetman.”

Funnily enough, it was the butchering of his last name that caused Gordon’s eyes to snap open. He immediately noticed his predicament and flailed, resulting in him falling onto his side while Benrey started laughing loudly, smacking a hand against the front of his helmet as a smile took over his face.

It was always Gordon who made him smile…

A faint chill ran down his spine, Benrey’s good mood evaporating in an instant while the panicked man finally managed to detangle himself and stand up. He brushed off his clothes and looked at the empty space they were both in, a sea of grey. His brows narrowed in confusion.

“Benrey? You-what happened? Where the hell is this?!”

“you’re… uh... dreaming, bro.” Benrey lazily waved his hands in the air while he spoke, as if to emphasize his point. “that’s pretty gay, you… you gaydon feetman now or somethin’?”

“DREAM-stOP TALKING ABOUT MY FEET!” If he was dreaming, Gordon was certain he would pop a blood vessel in no time if this conversation kept up. “And the only kind of dream I’d have with you in it would be a nightmare!”

“ouch, bro… that’s kinda mean.” Despite the words, Benrey’s tone continued to be void of any emotion other than mild amusement, and it only continued to set Gordon off.

“YOU’RE KIND OF MEAN! You keep harassing me for my passport and you KILLED all those other scientists and guards-”

“yeah well they… uh… suck at their jobs. i… i gotta fire bad employees bro-”

“WITH A GUN?!”

“ya it’s-it’s standard procedure and… uh… stuff. ask tommy about it later or whatever.”

Gordon pressed the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb, exhaling sharply as he felt a headache begin to build behind his eyes. “Okay, wonderful, lovely. Are there any other morally grey questions I need to ask?”

“nah but you uhhhh gotta show me your passport.”

And now Gordon was squatting on the ground, not able to fully process the request. “Well I told you I didn’t have it! And I’m apparently dreaming anyways! Do-do I need a dream passport or something?!”

“ya.”

His legs gave out under him, resulting in the exasperated man now sitting on the ground and staring up at Benrey in pure befuddlement and rage. “You-I don’t have it! When will you get that through your thick skull?”

“nah, you do.”

“I-WHAT?”

As Gordon contemplated everything leading up to this moment, and why in the world his mind had decided to torment him tonight, Benrey made his move.

“i’ll, uh, check it for you. cause we’re… uh... bros’n stuff.”

Before he could ask what this checking would entail, and what Benrey was even checking in the first place, the security guard leaned down and pressed a quick kiss against Gordon’s lips.

He was speechless.

“mhm, everything’s… uh… up to code there.” Benrey noted, nodding to himself before sitting down beside the stunned man. An eternity seemed to pass before Gordon managed to speak up.

“W-What was that?”

“i checked your passport, man. nothin’ special.”

“I…” Gordon sighed and buried his face in his hands. “I’m gonna stop questioning things because you never answer anything I ask and you’re the most obnoxious, unreliable person I’ve ever met-”

“you say somethin’ dude?”

“... No.” He muttered, thoroughly fed up with the situation. “I’m gonna go back to sleep and wake up back at my desk and everything’s gonna be perfectly fine and I won’t have you tormenting me. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“aw, lame. i thought we were gonna… uh, play some games.”

“Nope, sleeping now.”

“brooooooo i can’t believe you’re leaving me hanging like thiiiiiiiiis.”

“I’m not leaving you hanging since I never agreed to anything.”

“bro,” Benrey let out his own sigh, a stream of blue escaping his mouth and causing Gordon to yawn due to how close he was to the other man.

Actually, had he gotten closer to him? Previously there had been some space between them, but now they were both shoulder to shoulder. Gordon blinked and tried to speak, but found a yawn escaping his mouth when he opened it.

Damn, of course he felt like passing out when he wanted to ask questions. Stupid sweet voice…

As if somehow knowing what Gordon was thinking about, Benrey let out a short laugh as the other man started leaning against him due to his growing exhaustion.

“sweet dreams, gaydon feetman.”

When Gordon next awoke, he found himself seated in front of his computer as usual. The monitor was still off, everything was exactly where he had put it, and there was no sign of anything being disturbed. He stretched a bit, feeling his back pop as his bones cracked, before scratching his chin.

“Huh, maybe it was a dream…”

Of course, during his next encounter with Benrey later on in the day he did notice a faint redness to the other’s cheeks and wondered all over again if that “passport check” had been real or not.

And a much quieter part of him wanted to ask whether he had passed or not.

#my story #fanfiction #hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai benrey #gordon and benrey are wholesome gay #fluff #benrey is smooth as fuck #gordon is just confused #hlvrai au #abscond au

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softboywriting · 5 years ago

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Stay | Shawn Mendes | Werewolf AU

Summary: You’re a single mom to a newborn werewolf son. Shawn is your friend, crush, and neighbor who happens to be a werewolf as well. You have no idea how to raise a baby, but Shawn is more than willing to help. [fluff] [baby fic] [werewolf au] [I know I've used Milo before but I really love the name]

Word Count: 2.8k

|Masterlist in Bio|

You're at your limits. For three days your son, Milo, has been crying his little head off. It seems nothing you do is enough to quell the sobbing for more than an hour or two at a time. Even when he's asleep he isn't resting, waking up every so often to scream relentlessly. No one prepared you for life with a newborn werewolf, but here you are, with a three month old little menace. It was hell going through your pregnancy primarily alone, only receiving support from a close friend who had a child two years ago. You were never supposed to go through it alone but...your ex just left one day, walked out and ghosted, the piece of shit.

None of that matters now, nearly a year later. You've moved on, pushed the heartache away and focused on the here and now. On your new life as a mother to a small very complicated child that you love unconditionally.

"Need some help?"

You turn your head and look to where the voice came from beside you. Sure enough it's your cute, really sweet and complete crush of a neighbor, Shawn, walking out of the doorway to the stairwell of your apartment building. "Help?"

Shawn gestures to Milo crying in your arms. "The crying?"

"Oh." You're a bit embarrassed. You feel horrible when other people have to deal with his crying. It's like you're less of a parent because you can't console him. "No, he'll stop eventually."

"He's a werewolf right?"

"Yes." You shift Milo up your shoulder and pat his back. He continues to cry, that weak strained new baby cry. "How'd you know?"

Shawn grins big and lets out a soft laugh. "I'm a werewolf too, remember? And you told me he was when you brought him home."

"Oh, right. Sorry, my brain is a little scrambled lately."

"Can I try something? I totally understand if you don't want to though."

You sigh. At this point you're willing to try anything, and it wasn't as if you didn't know Shawn. He's your neighbor and you'd even consider him a friend. He's a nice guy and you'd love to get to know him a lot better, but a baby puts a damper on things like that. "Sure, good luck." You slide Milo down your shoulder and hand him carefully to Shawn.

"Hey bud, hey, shh." Shawn coos, putting Milo up on his chest against his shoulder. He cradles the back of his head and rubs down his back. "Easy, shhh, yeah. It's okay little guy, it's okay."

To your utmost surprise, Milo begins to settle down. You'd be lying if you said it didn't make you a little bit upset that Shawn is able to calm him down so quickly. Milo didn't even know him. You watch as Shawn massages the back of Milo's neck in almost a pinching motion.

"What are you doing?"

Shawn sways back and forth. "It's a comforting tactic. My mom used it on me and my little sister as a baby. It's almost like when you see wolves pick up their young by the scruff of their neck. It's a sensitive spot for us."

"Oh...Does that usually work?"

Shawn nods. "In my experience, yes, if the crying isn't for hunger or bathroom needs."

You flush, embarrassed you didn't know that. How could you? No one has a handbook on how to raise a werewolf. Not to your knowledge anyways.

"You have a lot of experience with baby werewolves?"

"A bit. My sister has a kid and so do some of my friends. I don't mind helping out."

"Thank you," you say as the elevator dings and the doors open. A line of people file out and you pick up Milo's car seat and your grocery bags. "Are you going back up?"

"Mmm." Shawn steps in with you, hand on Milo's back. "I was heading out but I think I'll wait."

"Oh, no, please. I can handle Milo, you have stuff to do."

"Nah, it's nothing. I was just going to grab some coffee." He rubs his cheek against Milo's fine dark hair. "I can hang out for a few minutes if you want to get your groceries put away and stuff."

"Really?" You ask, searching Shawn's eyes for some sign that he is joking. "I mean, you don't have to do that. It's okay, you don't have to keep holding him."

Shawn chuckles softly. "I love babies, I really don't mind sitting with him for a few minutes."

The elevator dings for you and Shawn's floor. "Alright, but just a few minutes. I don't want to make you feel like you need to stay okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he says with a smile as he follows you to your door.

_____________________

A few minutes turned into two hours very quickly.

Shawn took a seat with Milo on the couch and laid back with the small baby on his chest. You didn't notice they were both asleep until you had finished putting away groceries and cleaning up the kitchen, something you rarely got done these days. You walked into the living room, expecting to take Milo and put him in his crib when you found the two passed out with the TV on the news station. Your first instinct was to wake them up, to take Milo and send Shawn on his way, but you stopped yourself. What would a few more minutes hurt? You could clean the bathroom, put on laundry, make your bed. The possibilities of a few more minutes were endless.

Two hours later and you find yourself entirely done with the house work, caught up on laundry and you even got a shower without worrying about Milo crying from the other room. Is it selfish that you wish Shawn could stay longer? You've never had help like this, and he wasn't even doing anything but sleeping.

Shawn stirs, eyes opening slowly, blinking away sleep. He's got his hand over Milo's back, holding him securely to his chest. "Mmm, must have fallen asleep. What's that smell?"

"Smell?" You ask, raising your eyebrows. "I don't smell anything? Did Milo poop?"

Shawn shakes his head. "It's not poop. It smells like...roses? It's so good." He yawns, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

You touch your damp hair. "I showered? My shampoo is rose water and strawberries."

"It's nice." He shifts, sitting up carefully while supporting Milo. "How long was I asleep?"

"Two hours maybe?" You say sheepishly and he smiles slowly. He's truly beautiful and that smile makes your heart skip.

"Did you get a lot done?" He chuckles and stands up.

"Yes. Is that selfish? I didn't really ask you to stay, and I didn't wake you up but I should have."

Shawn shakes his head. "I don't mind. Seriously, I'm glad I could help. You seemed pretty tense when you were waiting for the elevator."

You reach for Milo and take him into your arms. "I was stressed. It's hard, and his crying lately has been making it harder."

"Well, anything I can do to help, I'm only a knock away."

"Thank you." You rock Milo and he yawns big in his sleep. "I'll keep that in mind."

Shawn rubs the back of his neck. "Right, well, I should go? You've probably gotta change him and put him down for a nap. Well, a longer nap. Anyway, just stop by? I'm home a lot since I work from my laptop mostly so, yeah."

You smile and he sees himself out while you go to lay Milo down in his crib. It's strange, having that giddy feeling for a guy who may be just as interested as well. It's been a long while.

_____________________

You don't ask Shawn for help again. You just can't bring yourself to go bother him, even though he offered. Coming off as the needy single mother next door wasn't attractive. You don't want to ruin what may still be a hint of a chance at more than a casual friendship with Shawn. Hell, you don't even know if he's single. For all you know he could just be being polite with the offer to help with Milo. That's it. He's just being polite.

It's been two weeks since Shawn was over and Milo has been doing a lot better. You see Shawn in the elevator sometimes, and you make polite conversation as always, but you never ask for help or mention your woes with Milo. You refuse to come off as desperate.

Until midnight one night, you wake up and Milo is wailing. It's not a normal cry. He sounds like he's in pain, like the whole world is collapsing around him. It scares you and when you lift him from the crib, he doesn't relent. He screams and cries with such force that his tiny body quakes in your arms. It's enough to make you cry too.

For half an hour you walk around the apartment with Milo. You bounce, rock, pat and massage his neck like Shawn had. Nothing is working. He keeps screaming and screaming. You're ready to break down, put aside your pride and go to Shawn's apartment.

A knock on your door startles you, sending your heart racing. You go and look out the peephole, seeing Shawn standing there in his sleep pants and no shirt. Your stomach sinks. Milo's cries must have woken him up. Great. You feel like a total jerk.

You unlock the deadbolt and turn the knob lock to open the door. Shawn looks tired. He's got red eyes, his hair is a mess, he may be fit as hell, an absolute Adonis of a being, but the dude looks rough.

"I'm so sorry," you say softly, barely audible over Milo's cries.

Shawn doesn't look angry, he doesn't look annoyed. He looks, if anything, concerned and tired. He steps inside and you close the door, waiting for him to say something.

"I-"

Shawn makes grabby motions with his hands. "Give him to me."

"He won't stop. I tried the comfort trick you showed me already."

"Pup," Shawn says quietly but firmly as he takes the baby to his chest and for a moment Milo's screams falter. "You're causing so much grief little man. You are just fine, I promise."

You wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly self conscious of your pajama shorts and a tank top. You've still got some pregnancy tummy going on and it's not your favorite part of yourself right now. "Shawn...you don't have to-"

"I don't, but he needs me."

"W-what?"

Shawn cradles Milo's head as he starts to hiccup, cries dying off. "It's the full moon, he's not old enough to shift, but he wants to. It's like growing pains. He's dealing with a lot right now, even though we can't see it. He needs to know he'll be alright, that he doesn't have to be scared and only another wolf can bring him that comfort."

"O-oh. I didn't know. There's a lot I don't know. I'm not a very good mom I guess." You look down, tears welling up in your eyes and Shawn reaches over, tilting your chin back up to look at him.

"You're doing your best, don't underestimate yourself." He sways with Milo, humming, no, growling softly. "Why haven't you come to ask for help?"

You swallow hard and walk with him over to the couch but neither if you sit down just yet. "I couldn't. I just...couldn't."

"Are you embarrassed?"

You nod, eyes stinging with the tears you are forcing back. "I couldn't ask for help, I feel like such a failure and I really like you, so I don't want to make Milo feel like he's your problem. I don't want to ruin everything but I am and it sucks and I'm a bad mom and I-"

Shawn pulls you against him, his one arm wrapping around your shoulders while he supports Milo on his chest with his other hand. "Hey, no, shh. You are doing great. Milo is alive, he's healthy and loved. You're not a bad mom because you don't know everything. Not a single new mom knows everything and you're definitely having a harder time since Milo isn't even a fully human baby. Don't beat yourself up okay?"

You sniff and nod against his chest. He's so warm and inviting, he smells really good too. "I try so hard."

"I know." He puts a hand in your hair. "And it's okay to ask for help."

"But..."

"No, no buts. I told you I would be there if you needed help."

"But why?"

"Why? Because I like you, I really really like you. I think you're beautiful and smart and funny. You're a friend and I care about you and I care about Milo."

"Oh." You pull away, looking at him. "I guess I didn't really think that you thought of me like that."

Shawn smiles softly. "I've wanted to ask you out since we first met."

"What? No. When I was pregnant? That's weird, isn't it?"

"No? Maybe? I don't know. I just know the first time when we talked in the elevator for a few minutes, I couldn't wait to do it again and again. I seriously never wanted to stop talking with you because you are just so...God, I don't know. You're addictive."

You flush and shake your head, crossing your arms. "I guess this is a good time to admit that I really like you too and I'd absolutely love to go out with you?"

Shawn grins, leaning his head on Milo's. "Can I ask you out?"

"I don't have anyone to babysit."

"We can stay in." He sways back and forth. "We can watch a movie, I'll make dinner, we can get cozy on the couch."

"But Milo?"

"Mmhmm? He'll be there too. I don't mind."

You bite your lip. "When can we have this date?"

"As soon as you like. I'm here."

"What about tonight?"

"At almost two in the morning? Okay. We can put Milo down since he's asleep now I'm sure."

Shawn follows you to the nursery. "Easy big guy," he says as he lays down Milo into the crib and he begins to fuss a little bit.

The two of you leave the door open a crack and Shawn stops you in the hall on your way to the living room.

"Yeah? What?"

"Are you sure you want to stay up? You look exhausted, and I mean this in the sweetest way, but you need to sleep."

"But are you going to leave then? What if Milo wakes up?"

"I can crash on the couch."

You glance past him into your bedroom. There's a very big, very empty bed in there that has only been slept in on one side. It'd be a shame to waste the whole other side. "I have a king size bed."

"Yeah?"

"And it's really big."

A smile spreads across his face. "Uh huh?"

You bite your lip as you continue. "I think we could both fit?"

"Oh yeah?" He asks, hands going to your waist. "You're just gonna invite me to sleep with you just like that? All I had to do was admit my feelings?"

"Shut up, you make it sound bad like that."

"Hey, I'm down for whatever you're down for. If you want me to stay and sleep in your bed, I'm here. Just say the word."

You run your hand up over his pec to his shoulder. His skin is so soft, he's almost perfect. For a moment you wonder why you never made a move before now. This was so easy, getting what you've always dreamed of just like that. Now all you have to do is say the word and he's yours. It was about time something went right in life. "I want you to stay."

"Yes ma'am." He lifts you up and you stifle a little squeal.

"Shawn!"

"Shh, you'll wake the baby." He smirks and carries you like you weigh nothing and drops you on your bed before crawling onto it beside you.

You get comfortable, snuggling down under the covers and Shawn settles in beside you. "Thanks for staying over, and thanks for helping me with Milo tonight."

Shawn rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his hand. "You're welcome. I hope it can become a regular thing."

"Maybe a very regular thing?"

"I told you, I'm down for whatever."

You grab his hand on the bed beside you. "I guess this is where we start then."

He smiles and threads his finger between yours. "So it is."

End

_____________________

Thank you so much for reading my work! This is just a short piece and an idea I had to get out. I don’t plan on adding anymore and yes, I know it’s sort of reminiscent of Ours but I’ve been in a baby/dad shawn/werewolf mood and this is what came out. So, again thank you for enjoying and I hope to be uploading some more pieces soon. :) -A

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 4 years ago

Note

It's so nice to see someone from the GG fandom who likes Vanessa! It's a shame she didn't have a storyline that was only hers (she was always only a prop on someone else's). I really wanted her and Blair to become friends because I think they are a weirdly good match. They could've bonded trough their love of art and even have been roommates on s3. I would love if you could throw some headcanons about that relationship, but feel free to use this ask just to say nice things about Vanessa.

oh agreed with you re: vanessa never having her own storyline! i remember seeing someone on here mention that after a while - specifically in s4 - they stopped viewing vanessa as a character and saw her as a plot device, which is why she was always conveniently in the right place at the right time eavesdropping on people. it’s incredibly depressing.

i loved the fact that vanessa was such a radical marxist (she’s never used these words for herself that i remember, but those are her vibes.) it was so refreshing in like... this gloomy complicated WASPy environment where everyone was so obsessed with class and reputation

this meta does a better job at explaining it than i ever can

vanessa was just: badass, confident, outspoken, unashamed & unapologetic of being who she was, intelligent, cynical but also a ray of light. this remains one of my favourite caps of her. look at her smile!

i wish vanessa had gotten to make films and stuff - we saw a lot of dan’s creative success, i wish we’d gotten that much focus on vanessa.

one of my.. headcanons... i think i was gonna write fic about this, even, is that vanessa makes a documentary starring nate. they’re both joking around and just doing it for the lols, but it actually blows up, and ... nate & vanessa being nate & vanessa, the documentary isn’t superficial at all.

obviously, vanessa doesn’t need nate to be successful though, i just really loved nate x vanessa and am incredibly self-indulgent

vanessa & dan should’ve started a podcast together in college!!!

also yeah, i do think vanessa had character flaws, but everyone on this show is morally skewed one way or the other, and i wish her storyline had been better + i wish her flaws had been handled more gently, if that makes sense to say.

i also wish we’d gotten to see vanessa’s sister ruby + her lesbian punk band + her apartment, where vanessa also lived. i’m so curious about like.... how vanessa would decorate her room in her house, etc etc.

more under the cut (because this got SO long!)

re: her relationship with blair:

i feel the same as you abt that! i was talking to solange about this and apparently all of that ...happened? in the books??? blair & vanessa did become best friends and roommates. i love them being best friends -i’m not going to say too much about my platonic headcanons for these 2, because it’s kind of central to my s3 dair AU, which i’m writing right now! there’s going to be so much vanessa, istg.

i found this response by accident about the show being shitty to her, and i think “mix of racism and laziness” on part of the writers hits the nail on the head.

i wish blair & vanessa had become friends in s2 over rescuing nate from that duchess. i find it really annoying that dan & blair could become friends due to their mutual love for serena, but blair & vanessa couldn’t become friends from their mutual love for nate?? that’s the tv storyline we were robbed of, seriously.

i got distracted & started talking about my vanessa ships, so take that, too:

i actually highkey ship blair/vanessa either as much as i ship dair, or more. this post does a pretty good job at explaining it. my tags on this post basically say “the dair dynamic minus all the melancholy” --> i love dan, but he tends to stew in sad feelings a lot of the time, and neither blair nor vanessa does that, so i think blairnessa as a relationship would be MUCH less angsty than dair was at initial stages.

serenessa is such a good ship too. i was telling nads, “serenessa photojournalists who travel around the world AU lives in my head rent free.” i think serena & vanessa both have like.. a very free spirit thing going for them, and i feel that neither of them would be happy doing the standard ‘get married, raise kids, white picket fence’ future kind of thing (which, well, dan and nate probably would. which is why i think they should get married to each other.)

i liked early season natessa, before things got weird. nate & vanessa genuinely supported each other + believed in each other + learnt things from each other and grew as people from it. nate encouraged her to write her SATs and give college a shot, and during most of nate’s s2 arc w/ his grandfather, vanessa was the only person who TRULY believed in him and believed that nate could break out from the influence of his family.

i wrote nate & vanessa on their first date from vanessa’s POV if that’s something you’re interested in reading.

i’m also... pretty sure this wasn’t deliberate, but the way that matthew settle & jessica szhor played rufus and vanessa gave me weirdly intense romantic vibes? vanessa always has the brightest & biggest smiles for rufus, and rufus is considerate and caring and respectful to vanessa much more than dan, her actual best friend, is.

i wrote this fic abt vanessa dealing w/ guilt over having a crush on rufus, and talking to nate about it, which was an interesting thing to write, lmao.

even keeping that aside, i think it’s interesting that vanessa was better friends with rufus than she was with dan!! i regard it mostly the same way i regard lily being a better mother to chuck than to serena & eric - “lmao, what is this show. how tragic and awful but also how hilarious.”

#meta #vanessa abrams #long post #i put this in word just in case tumblr crashed and my response is 945 words long?!?!?#anon #i love vanessa #and i think she gets an unfair amount of hate #a lot of which is just badly hidden racism and classism from what ive seen

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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 5 years ago

Text

{1} Sorry, there goes your image >> S.C.

Scenario: *BREAKING* Youtuber couple Seo Changbin and Y/n Y/l/n are going viral! And that all because our favourite gamer girl has exposed her dark rapper boyfriend to be an actual softie! Type of content: Headcanons AU: Youtubers!AU || Dark Rapper Youtuber!Changbin || Wholesome gamer Youtuber!Reader || Tropes: Best friends to Lovers Genre: Fluff/ Humour Pairing: Seo Changbin X Female Reader Word count: 4K Special Credit: Shout out to @klynvan for helping me setting up the story

Introduction <> Next

AU Masterlist

“AAAH!”

ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

“WHAT?” Changbin yelled

As he hurried into her room

“I GOT AN ISLAND WITH PEACH TREES!” SHE SQEUALED

⊂( ・ ̫・)⊃

Whilst waving her Nintendo switch

(❀｣╹□╹)｣*･

In her best friend’s face

He sighed

And shook his head

Whilst smiling fondly

Y/n and Changbin had known each other for years

They went to school together

And people could always see

A huge aesthetic gap between the two

Changbin loved to wear black

(;¬_¬)

Sometimes there would be a bit of red

or any other dark tinted colour peeking through his outfits

But the dark aesthetic matched his image as rapper

He never talked to anyone

And he always seemed to have a frown

Plastered on his face

He was pretty much an outcast

And people were bothered by that

Y/n on the other hand

♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

Was known as the lovable girl

who everyone seemed to be crushing on when she started to

hang out with Changbin

Before that

She was quite geeky

She still is

But back then

Nobody seemed to be actually interested in her

She was usually alone

Y/n was known to be shy besides

People thought she had ‘weird’ interests such as

Her huge love for flowers and plants

Video games were also something Y/n had always loved

And now

Boys loved the fact that she was obsessed with video games

She especially loves Mario games,

Minecraft,

animal crossing,

the sims series and many others

They would ask her to play games together

But no one seemed to be actually interested

to approach her

Mostly because her best friend

Changbin

wouldn’t let them

People just couldn’t wrap it around their finger

the fact that

a girl like Y/n was spending most of her time

with a guy like Changbin

Girls were jealous of Y/n

Thinking that she acted the way she acted

to get Bin’s attention

Changbin was hot

No one could deny that

Boys envied Changbin’s muscles

He was often seen at the gym

Where he would be working on his biceps

Making the girls swoon who were there at the scene

Y/n would be there sometimes as well

Usually she was cheering him on

And holding onto his water

She admits that she looked kind of goofy

But Bin loved having her around

And she loved being around him

He would have her try to pick up one of the dumbbells

She was quite strong

(ง •̀_•́)ง

And was able to lift weights

But she couldn’t compete with the muscles Changbin had created

They both remember

It clear as day:

The day when and how they met

Changbin was strolling through the halls

Minding his own business as usual

He heard some voices echoing through the place

But he shrugged it off since he was in a public area

He recognised the voices

They were the jocks of the school

And if Changbin heard it clearly

They were bothering someone

“Can I go through?” A small voice was to be heard

“Oh she can talk! Such a pretty voice, you should talk more for us sweetheart.”

One of them smirks as they caressed Y/n’s cheek

“Please leave me alone.”

“But we want to get to know you better-“

“She asked to be left alone.” Changbin had interrupted

as he decided to interfere

“And who the hell do you think you are?”

“Someone who doesn’t harass other people.”

Changbin replied smartly,

Catching the jocks off guard.

Y/n in the meantime was shaking and

on the brim of tears

The jocks eventually scoffed and walked off

Leaving Changbin with an overwhelmed Y/n

“Are you alright?” He asked her carefully

o(╥﹏╥)o

“N-NO DON’T CRY!”

“HNNG I’M SORRY!”

｡･ﾟ(ﾟ⊃ω⊂ﾟ)ﾟ･｡w

Changbin couldn’t hold up his act as dark and mysterious

As soon as he came in contact with her

He was taken back when she pulled him into an embrace

As she continued to cry

And he didn’t know

What else to do

Except patting her back comfortingly

And that was the very beginning of Bin realising that he

Indeed had a soft spot

And that spot was specially reserved for

Y/n and Y/n ONLY

(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉﾐ ┸━┸

Time passed and

Their time at school sooner but later had ended

They two had graduated together

Around that time

When they had their finals

And basically had to decide

what they wanted to do with their lives

the two had been joking about beginning a YouTube channel

People around them would laugh at them

And were certain of the fact that they would fail

That they shouldn’t even bother to try

The inseparable pair would share a look

And often shrug other people’s comments

About their new shared dream

This made people think even more differently of them

The two outsiders

Who want to do something with their life

That hasn’t have a guarantee of having a stable financial state

Later on in their life

They all just thought they were insane

Changbin’s parents thought so too

His older sister joked and told him to do it

(￣ω￣)

Mostly so she could be the ‘success’ of their family

She never meant it in a harmful way

She loved Y/n

So did the rest of the Seo family

Y/n had a very sweet and wholesome effect on Changbin

Which was something they hadn’t witnessed

Ever since he turned 14

His sister supported him through thick and thin

And eventually helped their parents support him as well

Y/n hadn’t had any difficulties talking to her grandmother

About her change in career path

Her grandmother,

who she grew up living with,

wanted Y/n to be happy

To enjoy the little things as long as it last

She would always tell Y/n that

even if she wanted to simply

a dog walker for the rest of her life

because she likes it

she wouldn’t dare to stop supporting her

she loved her too much for that

｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡

And so

Y/n and Changbin’s journey began as youtubers

The beginning of their career

Was quite awkward and tricky

As they didn’t own any big platforms yet

One day

Changbin had decided to put his rapping skills aside

For one video

To cover a song

He didn’t think too much of it

But sooner enough the video went viral

“Dark rapper with multiple talents”

He couldn’t believe it

And Y/n couldn’t be happier for him

♥｡･ﾟ(ﾟ⊃ω⊂ﾟ)ﾟ･｡♥

Not much later

As Y/n was streaming whilst gaming

He appeared into her room

To check up on her

“CAN YOU STOP FUCKING SCREAMING-“

( #`⌂´)/┌┛

“HDHBAF DON’T SWEAR I’M STREAMING-“

(((ง’ω’)و三 ง’ω’)ڡ≡

“WELL STOP SCREAMING THEN”

“BUT THEY’RE KILLING ME!”

“THEN KILL THEM BACK!”

“IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”

“I’M PLAYING MINECRAFT!”

“OH!”

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

…

“and did you kill him?”

“no I had to respawn”

｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡

“MOVE I GOT THIS!”

y/n: (づ￣ ³￣)づ

A couple days later yet another article about them was written

As this time

Y/n’s stream went viral

To people loving their banter

They saw the clove in between their aesthetics

And the public became obsessed

And that was only the start of their success

Y/n had gained thousands of followers and subscribers

Changbin did as well

People now were actually appreciating

And cheering onto Changbin’s music

He felt happy that there now were finally others

Beside his family and Y/n who loved the music he produced

Y/n was also gaining attention

Due to her lovable personality and sweet interactions with her fans

She loved talking to them as she streamed

or whenever she catches them on social media

People felt included

and they loved that about her

And because so many people had requested

To Y/n and Bin to make videos together

They started their shared channel

Where they actually rarely uploaded on

“GIVE US A VIDEO TOGETHER”

“WE NEED MORE BINXY/N VIDEOS”

“DO Y’ALL ACTUALLY LIVE TOGETHER?!?

BECAUSE IT SURE ENOUGH DOESN’T LOOK LIKE IT”

….

Y/n:

Bin:

*A-cup-of-Y/n notification*: Watch me look for my favourite animal crossing villagers!

*Seo Changbin notification*: Trying to produce a rap in an hour *STRESSFUL*

Fans: (」ﾟДﾟ)」

They loved the content anyway

“Y/N! WE’RE OUT OF COFFEE!”

┻━┻ミ＼（≧ロ≦＼）

“SEO CHANGBIN PUT THAT TABLE BACK ON HIS PLACE!”

“BUT COFFEE-“

“CHANGBIN!”

‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

Bin: (つ﹏<。)

Y/n: =͟͟͞͞ =͟͟͞͞ ﾍ( ´Д`)ﾉ

“AAAH YOU BIG BABY WE’LL GET YOUR DARNED COFFEE THEN”

Bin: ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

And so the two of them went to their closest café

To give Bin his addition to his caffeine addiction

Bin was smiling like crazy

As he waited impatiently for his best friend

To get her stuff

“CAN YOU BE ANY SLOWER?!”

(˃̥̥ω˂̥̥̥)

“CAN YOU BE ANY BRATTIER?”

(((c=(°ロ°;q

(」゜ロ゜)」

“HUSH I NEED CAFFEINE”

“WELL IF YOU DIDN’T CHUCK THE ENTIRE THING LAST NIGHT

TO PRODUCE ON YOUR STREAM

WE WOULDN’T BE IN THIS POSITION RIGHT NOW!”

@(。・0・)@

“HEY THE SONG TURNED OUT TO BE A BOP!”

((งง •̀•̀__•́•́))งง

“AND YOU WOKE UP SO LATE TODAY I THOUGHT YOU DIED!”

o(╥﹏╥)o

“ENOUGH TALKING LET’S GET COFFEE!”

There was one thing Bin forgot

Since it was 2am in the morning

And there was almost certainly not any coffee made at this hour at most café

They had to travel half across the city

To finally stumble upon an unknown café

Changbin stormed in and didn’t hesitate to order his usual:

An iced americano

Y/n chuckled slightly to herself

As she watched her friend

Who couldn’t be more delighted with his coffee

“Wait? Y/n?” A sudden voice called out

Snapping Y/n out of her thoughts

She made eye contact with the barista

and recognised the old classmate

“Hey! I didn’t notice you!

How are you?

Aren’t you tired?

It’s almost like three o’clock!”

Y/n bombarded him with questions as she smiled brightly

Changbin looked up from his phone

And looked back and fort

between Y/n and the guy behind the display

Changbin also recognised the guy

And recalls a sudden memory of him as well

He was one of the people who dared to call out

his and Y/n future failures

he was one of the few people as well who

liked to pester them

with the idea back then that they wouldn’t be able

to make a career out of it

Changbin wanted to shove it in his dirty little face

‘HA LOOK WHERE WE ARE AND WHERE YOU CERTAINLY AREN’T

WE’RE OVER HERE BEING LOVED BY THE WORLD! SUCCESFUL AS EVER

AND YET HERE YOU ARE STANDING SADLY BEHIND A COUNTER,

DOING PROBABLY NOT MUCH WITH YOUR LIFE!’

ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ´Д`)ノ

Is what Changbin would have loved to yell into his face

But the universe had something else in mind.

“Look, I don’t know if you remember, but I was a dick back in high school. I said some terrible things to you guys and I wanted to apologise. I hope you can forgive me for my unthoughtful and foolish acts back then.”

He said.

Changbin didn’t buy it

But Y/n felt like everyone deserved a second chance

Her heart was simply too big

And too willing to forgive

“That’s okay, we were all young once,

we all made mistakes and if you learned something from it

and if you cringe when you think back about it,

that only means you’ve grown.”

(＾▽＾ʃƪ)

Barista:

╥﹏╥

“WHY ARE YOU SO NICE!?!?”

(」｡≧□≦)」

“doesn’t everyone deserve a little act of kindness?”

Barista pt2:

ಥ_ಥ

In the meantime Bin was watching his friend comforting

Their old classmate

He shook his head slightly

‘You’re too good for this world.’

He said to himself

“(>ლ)”

But he was sure that many people knew as well

That Y/n had a heart of gold

The barista had told them to wait for a little longer and sooner enough came back with a hot cup of hot chocolate for Y/n

“It’s on the house, I’m sorry once again.”

“Hey you were mean to me too back then? Don’t I get a free drink?”

Bin asked with his head cocked to the side.

“Y-you already paid for you drink.”

(´ ˙○˙ `)

He stuttered

Still clearly intimidated by Changbin

“I can give you a cupcake?”

“Will do.”

The pair were setting up their equipment

To shoot a QNA that had been highly requested

They realised that they never really had sat down

And talked about their school years together

So they went on their Instagram and asked their fans

What they wanted to know about them

Sooner enough the two were sat in front of the camera

And laughing at the questions they received

‘What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?’

“WAIT WAIT”

（〇o〇；）！！

Y/n started

Bin looked at her in horror as he knew what she was going to say

He had his face already hidden in his hands as she began to speak

Or well more rant

“this one time

When we were still in school

And we were on our winter break

This bean was too lazy to go out

And get a hair cut

And he didn’t wanted anyone to do it for him

Because he was too scared that someone would mess it up

So instead, he grew it out.

It grew so long in such a short time that he could wear it in a ponytail.

This kid,

He put his hair in a ponytail and I watched him do it

And it looks so stupid

Like why do we bend over so far to do it

It looks idiotic

AND THEN

He comes out of the shower with his pants on and his towel wrapped

On his head

Like most girls or other people with long hair will do, but

I realised how dumb we actually look

It’s honestly even funnier when you see him do it-

Wait I might have pictures-“

“JAFDJGBKF ENOUGH, NEXT!”

（三・o・）

“BUT I-“

“YEAH YOU’VE EMBARRESED ME ENOUGH AND NEVER AGAIN.”

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

‘What is your best high school memory together?’

Y/n thought for a while before sharing a look with Changbin

They smiled at each other as they exactly knew

“Okay this is another story

Our year was obsessed with the idea of having a prom

And since we live in South Korea

It isn’t much of a thing over here

So, we all saved up and had a prom in some rich kid’s backyard

Because he didn’t live in an apartment like most of us do.

The ‘prom’ was quite fun to be honest.

People looked gorgeous and everyone seemed to be having a great time.”

“Yet we weren’t.” Bin chuckled

“Yup, we weren’t really enjoying ourselves.

As you guys know,

we were pretty much the outcasts.

Nobody was talking to us

Or even looking at us

We were fine and trying to enjoy ourselves

But we decided to get out early

Even though we put our own money into the event.

Bin and I would’ve gone to the nearest subway and took it to the park

Where we just sat in our formal wear

We laughed

We ate

And we just had a great time

With just us being together as a pair

We got some weird looks from bystanders

But we didn’t care

I think big crowds were never really something meant for us

We just enjoy each other’s company the best

And that’s what made that night so memorable.”

‘Who is the bigger foodie?’

“Have you seen this muscle pig-“

三ヾ(ヽ*ω*)┌┛★

“EXCUSE ME”

“BOI HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF

YOU NEED FOOD TO GROW-“

“STOP INSULTING MY HEIGHT-“

“I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR BICEPS!’

ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ

The video went on with some more questions

And even a small promotion of Changbin’s rap/ produce unit

3RACHA

He would tell the viewers to check out his livestream

that he was planning on streaming later this weak

after the QNA had uploaded

The day it came out

There were thousands of people watching him

produce new music for the unit

He was deeply concentrated

And asked people for their opinion

as he was carried away in the process

Until Y/n suddenly bardged through the door

with a hot plate of cookies in her hand

That she had made for her own channel

“Y/n, I’m busy- are those COOKIES?”

(*⌒ڡ⌒*)

She laughed as she set the plate in front of him

Before taking a seat closely next to him

She asked what he was up to

And he proudly showed off what he had up to now

As he was showing off

A coupe of fans’ true colour shined through

As they began to send toxic words into the comment section of the stream

Sooner enough Changbin had noticed and read them

(WARNING: VILE WORDS AHEAD PURELY FOR FICTION PURPOSE ONLY)

‘Such an attention seeking whore, why is she even living with him? I bet she’s just doing it for clout.’

‘Pathetic bitch, are your views low lately? Is that why you appear in our Binnie’s streams?’

‘Gtfo we’re not here to see your ugly pathetic face, you’re lucky Bin outshines you, or else everyone would be gagging.’

‘So pathetic to see someone act innocent and cute when she in reality manipulates everyone for clout and views. She’s doing this all for the fame people, don’t be fooled!’

Changbin had enough and couldn’t read anymore

He had sat back and wrapped an arm around Y/n

“Alright, we’re going to stop right now with the fucking hate comments.

I will report them all and ban you from this site.

Leave her the fuck alone, am I understood?”

Bin’s tone was deep and intimidating

and immediately stopped the toxic.

Fortunately there weren’t just toxic people watching the stream

But there were many people

Who loved Changbin’s and Y/n’s dynamic

They loved the contrast between the two

And they admired Changbin’s passion for music

And Y/n sweet, soft and supporting personality

They complimented each other so well

And the fans couldn’t get enough of them

Fans were also quick to defend Y/n

And her kind image

Spreading loving words to her

As they had noticed the sadness in her eyes

They knew she had read the comments

Bin knew she had read the comments

｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

“Don’t listen to them, you know you’re worth so much more.”

He whispered into her hair a he hugged her from the side

Making the comment section freak out

At their bond

The stream would end soon after

Since Changbin didn’t had the concentration anymore

And he felt like he needed to be comforting Y/n right now

She had moved to the couch and sat there sulking

Bin felt his heart ache a little

He’s so used to see Y/n in a glee

That he rarely saw her upset

He tried to cheer her up by teasing her a little

Squishing her cheeks

Ruffling her hair

Doing funny faces

You name it

But nothing seemed to work

But then he knew it

“You want to go out for dinner?”

Her head shot to his directions

(;•͈́༚•͈̀)

As she looked at him with big glossy eyes

Cutely nodding yes

Before they walked out the door

Not much later they were sat at a nice restaurant

Munching on some dumplings

Y/n had her face stuffed with them

Making Bin laugh cutely at her

“You want some more dumplings, Dumpling?”

Y/n almost choked at the sound of her old nickname

Making her lean back and whine cutely

(⊃‿⊂)

“NOOOO~”

(((ೕ( ･ㅂ･)و )))

“YESSSSS~”

They would fall into a fit of laughter again

(ノ＞▽＜。)ノ(ノ＞▽＜。)ノ

Before they continued to eat

He was relieved that she felt a little better

But he knew that her mind was still on the toxicity

that the comments had left

After dinner

She assumed that the two would go home

But instead

(。･o･｡)

Changbin had grabbed her wrist

And pulled her to their favourite arcade hall

She shot him a smile

And hugged him

Whispering a ‘thank you’ before they ran off to have some more fun

The two would kill it at a dancing game

They would drum their ears off at Taiko no Tatsujin

Changbin also won themselves a price by getting a new high score

As he tested his strength

They also spend half of the money they brought on claw machines

Y/n won something as well

Which she was super excited about

♪((└|o^▽^o|┐))

“I WON!”

“at what cost? You spend like 20 bucks on that thing, we could’ve gotten that in a store for 15-“

ヽ(*´∀`)ﾉ┌┛

“BUT WHAT’S THE POINT I EARNED THIS.”

“Whatever you say.”

He chuckled

The two would walk on and Y/n’s attention was caught

By a big duck that was laid in an extra-large claw machine

Changbin had noticed her staring

And he knew that she wanted the duck

But the two were quite tired after a long day

And he also was aware of her not having enough money on her

To actually be able to win it

“Y/n, can you get us a drink?”

He asked as he almost shoved the money into her hands

( ¬_¬)

“What is there something wrong with your feet?”

She sassed back

“No, but I don’t want to interact with other humans~” He whined

Making Y/n roll her eyes

“Fine.”

She took the money and left to find a vending machine

As soon as she was out of view

Changbin took out his card

He swiped it on the machine

And got ready to play

But to his surprise

He got the duck in one go

(ﾉﾟοﾟ)ﾉ

He just stared at the shining ‘winner’ sign

And laughed loudly to himself

Before he quickly took out the huge duck that costed him less than 5 bucks.

Y/n was back

But sooner enough greeted by not Changbin

But a big fluffy duck that almost hid Changbin entirely behind itself

“Hey sorry, I went to the toilet as well,

I just had to post this cute win on Instagra-DAJADGA BIN?”

She squealed out in surprise when she met eyes with a big ass duck

“Behind it!” He said with a muffled scream

Before he turned

So they could look each other in the eye

ლ(^o^ლ)

…..

“WHAT EVEN-“

“I saw you looking at it, I knew you wanted it.”

‧˚₊*̥(∗*⁰͈꒨⁰͈)‧˚₊*̥

“YOU WON THIS FOR ME?”

“of course, why would I want a duck?”

‧˚₊*̥(* ⁰̷̴͈꒨⁰̷̴͈)‧˚₊*̥

“KJFHGDFBGSFDJGDNFGD”

“Was that a thank you?”

ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

“JKGTHANK YOU YOU’RE THE BEST HNNNNG!”

She squealed before she ran up to him to side-hug him

‘Everything for you.’

´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊

Gifs aren’t mine

Introduction <> Next

AU Masterlist

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pettrichore · 5 years ago

Text

dunno if i’ll be able to finish this. but so like dabihawks au where like. dabi does his research aka when he was touya he was with his dad once during the whole takami thief thing and met keigo. flash forward he doesnt believe a thing about this hero hawks. sees him for the fabricated person he has become. and eventually hawks sees dabi for who he really is and was and like vigilante-ish dabihawks. bits about the au and the snippet i wrote under the cut.

cause this shit gets LONG af

hawks feels fake. doesnt rlly know who he has even become

the commission kinda forced a lotta habits out of him and completely molded him into who they want him to be

he barely even finds his name to be anything more than a stranger’s name at this point.

anyway so dabi p much knows who he is. does his own digging. and kinda puts some pieces together and sees how fake hawks is

hawks barely even knows if he shows any genuine emotions at this point. he’s kinda at a breaking point where he cant recognize himself and separate keigo from hawks. feeling like hawks has just swallowed him whole

he does show genuine things though. sometimes says or does shit out of line but he tends to have obedience beat into him even if he sometimes has a bit of a mouth on him. it’s mild tho

at the start of dabi working w hawks, hawks was very careful

it kinda progressed into keigo coming out more around dabi even though it was in bits and pieces

anyway dabi puts two and two together and realizes him and hawks are pretty similar and instead of seeing him as a traitor (though he’s sure that he’s not 100% on their side) he sees him as someone who can fit in with the misfits and he can p much fully convince hawks to ditch the bs

so the confrontation happens (see ending snippet) and hawks is like wtf just happened

and p much eventually there’s some tender moments between dabi and hawks and hawks ends up explaining how used he’s felt

he has been molded into the perfect obedient soldier; maybe sorta kinda explains that the commission is having him do double agent duties and instead of reacting badly dabi is p receptive and doesnt just try to kill him. instead he can see how badly hawks wants to break out of his cage and fly free and he deeply feels for that and knows how that can feel and is like aight well fuck them

so hawks kinda double agents on the commission??

and he does end up meeting the LoV and like sees how human they are

but also he’s like damn son but okay i dont agree w everything

and dabi is like yeahhh same ??? idk they are a means to an ends for me but also not lmao

and then there’s some dabi spilling his guts as they get closer and get more intimate and very much boyfriends

and hawks is so livid and he cant help but fuck around with endeavor the next time he sees him. and like he’s just so much more distant to him. he can’t begin to wrap his head around it. and he’s so broken that like.. the one person that he saw as his true hero. that “saved him” is a horrible person behind closed doors

the one person who he was inspired by and agreed to join the commission’s forces for is just horrible

there’s just a lotta solidarity between hawks and dabi and a lotta shared anger and hurt

and they’re boyfriends and it’s great but also like hawks isn’t a horrible person

neither is dabi ??? i mean listen they’ve both killed ppl. they probs will continue to kinda do it. but it’s always just horrible ppl

like listen killing ?? not great folks??? but also like idk man..

they also def leave kids outta this 10000%

anyway p much they end up ditching the LoV too. try to get some of them outta that shit. like toga who has become like a sorta lil sister for dabi in a way

they both just feel so horrible and gross seeing kids get into that shit

also like the girl needs some HELP. some therapy and rehabilitation idk

idk i love the morality shit with the LoV but might not play with it too much here

anyway they end up doing their own thing and the commission is quick to denounce him and just ruin his image

and try to kill him lmao they made him a perfect hero which could be a perfect villain and if he isn’t working for them he’s working against them (i mean he is) and needs to be Stopped Permanently

anyway here’s the snippet. my single brain cell that helped write this has left my body:

At this point, Hawks wasn’t so sure he was even real. His existence felt fabricated. Each smile or joke carefully placed. Each movement was calculated. He didn’t act out of line. His interviews were carefully thought out months in advance if not lies that he himself began to believe after years of telling them. His penthouse had just enough “personal” touches that when he had a spare moment to invite someone over it actually seemed like it could be a home. Hawks’ original motivations were squashed and were pushed aside unless they created an interesting story. His natural mannerisms that came with his mutation quirk were learned to be suppressed. Hell his own name sounded like a stranger’s to his ears. That is if anyone even knew it.

“Is there anything real about you, hero,” Dabi spoke. His back wasn’t fully to Hawks, left side presented to him as he set a framed graduation photo down and fully faced the winged hero. Dabi stuffed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the side some, waiting for an answer. Hawks snorted and gave him an unamused look.

“I’m as real as they get, hot stuff.” He kept a casual air about his words, hands spreading out in surrender. “Not sure what else you expect.”

Hawks was on edge, but he wouldn’t let the villain know it. They were supposed to be meeting soon, but once again the villain pulled something unexpected and had been waiting for Hawks in his own apartment. Hawks’ feathers twitched slightly, sharpened edges ready for the command if it came. Dabi leveled him with an unimpressed stare. There was a moment where their gazes met in an intense battle, though Dabi’s look softened as he broke out in a lazy grin.

“Y’know... You might be just as much of a mystery as I am, Pretty Bird.”

“I think I’m a pretty open book myself.”

“I think you like to let people think that.”

“And I think you’re just trying to fuck with me. Can we just get to what you came here for? I had a looong day and kinda wanna get some food and some sleep.” Hawks punctuated his words by stretching his arms up high before shedding off his coat, goggles, and headphones. He tossed the coat over the back of his couch and dropped the gear onto the end table. He hoped Dabi would just drop this whole line of thought, take this as some sort of submission, and be satisfied enough to leave.

Wrong.

“Oh, we can get to that later… You, on the other hand, are much more interesting.” He moved closer, hands coming out of his pockets as he crossed the room to stand a few feet from Hawks.

“I’d love to be a great host and entertain you, but unfortunately I wasn’t expecting any guests today.” Hawks crossed his arms and watched Dabi carefully, eyes narrowing some in challenge.

“That’s too bad. You know, I’ve been doing some research on you. I don’t quite think you are who you say you are, Hawks.” The winged-hero tensed just ever so slightly before forcing his muscles to relax some. He didn’t like the way things were going. While Dabi’s fire was his ultimate weakness, he’s sure that he’s fast enough to put a sharpened feather to his throat and end this all here and now than Dabi would be if he wanted to put the spy to an end.

“And who do you think I am then, Dabi?” He raised an unruly eyebrow. His primaries ached to shoot out and end this, poised at the ready.

Dabi blinked slowly, bright turquoise eyes disappearing for a moment before shining under heavily lidded eyes. His grin stretched a bit wider, tugging on where healthy skin met the grafts.

“I think you aren’t the hero you put out there… Or the person you say you are. You like to say a lotta nothin’ don’t you?” Dabi stepped closer and Hawks’ fingers twitched but his arms remained crossed.

“I think you like to pretend to be this airhead bird. Like to use that name. Like to look like you’re the perfect little hero... You’re good at it, too. You aren’t though, are you… Takami Keigo.”

Hawks had a primary feather in each hand, on pressed to Dabi’s throat. It pressed in just enough to draw some blood from the marred skin grafts. He could feel the heat radiating from Dabi’s skin and particularly from the small flames in each of his palms, but the villain made no move to use it against him. He just continued to grin.

“What’s the look of surprise there, Birdie?” Dabi purred.

“How do you know that name?” He demanded, crowding further into Dabi’s space.

“Like I said, I did my research. Now unless you want to end up on the crispy side of cooked, I’d ease the fuck up,” Dabi’s voice took on a slight bite towards the end and his grin lessened. “And here I was going to tell you that you can meet the boss finally. Thought you might be real League material.”

Hawks instincts and mind screamed to press the sharp feather further or at least hold his position, demand answers. His judgment told him to ease off and soften the feathers once more. Hawks didn’t move too far from Dabi, though the primary feathers in his hands softened and returned to his wings. The heat radiating off Dabi died down along with the flames in his hands. Steam left his skin as he killed the flames.

“Much better… We don’t want any incidents like that when you get to meet the boss, right? You’re lucky I’m a lot more patient.” Hawks wasn’t sure what this was all about but didn’t argue with him on that point.

“Glad to see your fake little hero persona is starting to crack.”

#long post #dabihawks #dabi #hawks #todoroki touya #takami keigo #dabi is a todoroki #dabi is touya #my writing #speaks #bnha au #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia

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doctorguilty · 5 years ago

Text

ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation” opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first.

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either.

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing.

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!!

anyway but enough of that au

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know?

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise!

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that!

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game?

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!!

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like YESSSSSSS tails looks really great!

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted!

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss!��

#seth speaks

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coeurxdor · 6 years ago

Note

✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played♫ ━ a small playlist for a muse of your choiceღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?

✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played

dorcas is one of my favs lmao but her aside…. uhhh… honestly i’m someone who generally creates a character for LIFE ( i’ve been writing some characters for nearly a decade now ) so… this isn’t easy. i’ll say neal brar (oc), kitsey greyson (oc, i never get to write her and it’s such a shame), and valentina salgado (oc) ok fuck also tiberius ogden (oc) and malena bedford (oc) i can’t leave either of them out.

✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?

[here]

ღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?

dorcas with any of the marauders like………………………. no thanks. never, thanks. ( MAYBE with james or peter in some au, but it’s a pretty massive maybe ). or like ships with death eaters that are completely random and have zero solid/logical foundations.

otherwise, i’m super open with ships. i’m primarily plot based, even with my ships to be honest. i’ve been in situations where dorcas had chemistry with another character but the plots me and the other player came up, ship-wise, just didn’t speak to me at all so even though we were supposed to “ship” because our characters had chemistry or w/e, i wasn’t really up for it.

i’ve had some nice ships with ocs from historical verses, modern royalty, and x-men verses.

in the harry potter universe, i’ve had ships with a bunch of ocs and minor canons. think it, i’ve probably done it. i’ve had ships with muggle characters, death eaters (members or leaning), order members, journalists, diplomats, hit wizards, inventors, celebrities, etc.

all of these are old as shit and i haven’t talked to my partners in ages but thus far my most well plotted out + favourite ships/ship plots have been with:

gideon prewett - it was a friends turned lovers ship, but it was very complicated as it developed over the course of a solid 5 years and with the war gideon developed a drinking problem and there were many other mini sub-plots… it was… great, but MY kind of great with lots of character development and slow burn and it ended with them going “ok we can figure this out we’ll make a proper effort” and then gideon died like a week later lmao. ( we had a star wars au for this too )

evan rosier - met at school. they were just kids. he stopped talking to her when he was 12 because he found out she was a halfblood and she absolutely didn’t put up with his nonsense. two years later they had the chance to talk about it… and they were unable to stop talking since then, behind doors that is. they always had a very peculiar dynamic, meeting in the middle in certain aspects, being ruled by their education and backgrounds in others, and above all showing each other two very different perspectives of what would become a war ( and, in their own ways, they used the knowledge they got from each other as a sort of leverage later on - knowledge is power, so it goes ). after graduation they grew apart, then close again, then he tried to pull some really stupid things after he got married and their dynamic deteriorated considerably after that and as the war progressed. there was always going to be something there even if only given to how much they shared with each other, but i was very open about dorcas not having romantic feelings for him anymore ( and gd knows having them in the first place was an identity crisis as it was ) but my partner at the time told me he would continue to have feelings for her which made the whole dynamic even more interesting. there was always tension, and angst, and power dynamics and one time they did exchange war related information once ( they never said where their affiliations lied, but they didn’t need to at that point, to either of them it was blatantly clear ) but it was on a very particular case concerning the murder of a diplomat where both the order and the death eaters were being blamed when neither side had been involved.

an oc auror AND I APOLOGIZE BUT YOU’LL ALL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME WITH THIS ONE BC IT WAS ONE OF MY FAV DYNAMICS AND I LOVE AND MISS IT DEARLY. they met while she was still studying to be a healer, he asked her out she said yes but then life happened and they never did get to go on that date. fast-forward a year she’s working at the ministry as a secretary like five desks away from him, huffing at aurors and hit wizards for not filling their reports correctly and no she’s not going to bloody write them for you. he was awkward and self-conscious about it but there were no hard feelings about the failed date (dorcas had literally just joined the order so she had a lot on her plate anyway). very gradually they got talking, hooked up, it turned into a “oh no don’t worry about it it was nothing serious we were just blowing off some steam” which turned into “oh crap im falling in love” and eventually they started dating and it was the most wonderful thing in the world… and then like 6 months into it dorcas broke up with him because it was, like, early 1979 and every time they got together he ended up talking poorly of the order ( they broke up when, one day, he was trashing the order after, unbeknownst to him, the order had saved his ass and his partner’s ass and dorcas was just sitting there with the damn take out he had brought thinking “i really did this to myself huh fuck my entire life i have to end this”. they ended things abruptly and still very much in love. ) fast-forward some months he ends up reaching out to her somewhat awkwardly because he doesn’t know who to talk to ( he was a person of strong convictions but very private and he had grown very used to being able/feeling comfortable talking to her ). what did he want to get off his chest? that he had just discovered he had child. some 3 year old girl. the mother kept him in the dark about their daughter ( her reasons were that she didn’t think he was ever going to make a good father due to how much of a workaholic he was ) and he stumbled on the information. he ended up admitting to dorcas he desperately wanted to have a relationship with the child but didn’t know how to and long story short they started dating again, so painfully gradually and casually. dorcas wasn’t always present when he was with his daughter, but she was far from a stranger to the little girl. however, by mid 1980 the war was at its peak and dorcas was leading like 4 parallel lives and going to too many funerals - she was running on fumes and she did have an emotional breakdown once in front of him one time but it was after his daughter caught dragon pox and he assumed she was just overwhelmed and being sensitive ( he was so thrown off that while he was anxious himself he even went as far as cracking a joke about how she was the one who usually kept it together ). in early 1981 he started seeing his daughter more regularly, there was an unofficially joint custody thing going, and he wanted to take their relationship to the next level. not marriage by any means just, something more tangible and sure and clear, primarily because he didn’t want to have someone in his daughter’s life who would just not be in it for the long run. so they sat down and he told her everything that was going on inside his head, he said that it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her to be around he just needed to have the conversation with her… and dorcas was sitting there thinking “yes, this is something i want, this doesn’t scare me, this makes me happy, i love this person and i love that little girl like she was mine and i want to grow to love her and her father even more.” so she said she didn’t. she said she wasn’t interested; that he had read her wrong. she thought of the two broken ribs she had some weeks prior and how edgar and his wife and their children were six feet under. they parted away, never spoke again, and she was murdered like 5 months later in july/august. i shared ideas and hcs, but, as an active contributing writer, the story ended here for me. however, the way my former roleplay partner wrote what happened after dorcas’ death goes like this:years later, he ended up marrying the mother of his child ( they were able to reconnect in a healthy way because of how much character development he experienced while dating dorcas ). they had two other children. around twenty years later, the dust of the second war settling and previously private information about both wars was gradually becoming public. one morning his eldest daughter was reading the newspaper and she casually asked mom and dad, sitting at the table with her, if they knew anyone who fought in the first war. they both mentioned a handful of hit wizards and aurors, and that was that - she closed the newspaper dismissively and left to meet with friends. it was summer. i can’t remember if it was later that day or the day after, but he asked her what had prompted her to ask such question and she said there was a face in the newspaper that seemed familiar. he asked her the name of the person, she couldn’t remember only that it was “funny but familiar”, and as she went to get the newspaper she continued that that neither he nor mom had said it. he got his glasses, she opened the newspaper for him in the multi-page article about new information from the first war and pointed at one of the several small moving photographs - the penny dropped as he recognized the face right away.a lot of things made sense after he found out dorcas was a member of the order, it was, in a way a relief for him to discover it because it filled in a lot of blanks ( and it made him feel better in the sense that no, he hadn’t been the problem in their relationship )… but on the other hand it was also highly bittersweet and conflicting, and he had more questions and about a thousand new feelings and emotions to process. the worst part was she had been dead for two decades so it wasn’t as thought he could talk to her about it. i think that ( i can’t remember ) at some point, in anger and frustration, he thought that she should have told him, and then he remembered what he was like and what his views of the order were and he was forced to admit to himself that if she had said anything to him, if she had trusted him with that information, his self from twenty years ago would have been highly judgmental and ended things immediately ( we had an au where this happened and it was the most horrible thing - it was right after an attack and they hadn’t even showered yet and dusted themselves off and he just told her to leave, didn’t even look her in the eye ). eventually he came to terms with her decisions and understood why she had made them and was able to tell his eldest daughter why the women in the photo looked familiar.

i don’t think i’ve had a single ship for dorcas, in any universe, where she ends up happy lmao bottoms up i don’t know how to write happy endings (unless it’s in aus) cheers.

♫ ━ a small playlist

ok so im really really really realllly bad at playlists and i’ve already done one for dorcas here and i don’t want to make another lmao so can i make two mini ones for two of your characters instead?

for robb stark

kids - mgmt

fire - kasabian

everybody’s watching me - the neighbourhood

seven nation army - the white stripes

howl - florence and the machine

afterlife - arcade fire

bonus: heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs // pretty fly for a white guy - the offspring

for rose tyler

perfect places - lorde

run away with me - carly rae jepsen

the last of the real ones - fall out boy

drops of jupiter - train

adventure of a lifetime - coldplayp

#bonfierhearts #id say sorry about the bonus ones buT lmao #ty so much for asking and im sorry i got a lil carried away #[🌻] answered

1 note · View note

winetae · 7 years ago

Text

⇾ money shot (m)

↳ in a pornographic movie, refers to the sequence in which the male actor ejaculates onto his partner’s body.

⇁ female reader x yoongi

⇁ smut || pornstar!au

⇁ dom!yoongi, submissive!reader, verbal humiliation, spanking, roleplay, rough sex, cum play, dirty talk, this is porn ok and everything is consensual

⇁10.9k pwp

. . .

“Don’t look so put off. Min Yoongi’s indisputably one of the best in the industry. He’s extremely professional and experienced—and handsome to boot. You’ll be in the very best hands. He rarely works with newbies, so consider yourself special.”

↳ or ; the author just really wanted to write a pornstar!au but got carried away;;

a/n; in no way is this story meant to depict the real life working conditions of adult film stars. contains inaccuracies ! + i couldn’t have written The smut scene w/o my #1 perv ilu

(!!) pls re-read the warnings !! may contain triggering content. roleplay includes portrayal of a not so ethical or appropriate relationship (teacher/student) and the verbal humiliation makes use of degrading names/slut shaming, so please don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable !!

(!!) if your name is mj stay away from this fic !! also if ur jordan’s sister stop reading smut khkjh

In front of you, a manila folder was slammed down onto the table's wooden surface, the sudden movement making your cup of coffee wobble dangerously. You cupped the drink between your cold hands, intent on not letting a drop of your 5.79 dollar purchase go to waste. Only once the liquid had stopped sloshing around did you bother to greet your agent with a cordial nod.

Dressed in an all black, pressed suit and with his hair combed back, he seemed ready to head off into a business meeting, not discuss your next adult film project over a cup of coffee. Choosing to skip over the small talk, he leaned forward on his elbows and waited for you to take the folder and peer into its contents.

You spared it a cursory glance, not expecting much from its uninteresting appearance. Still, you decided to humor him—after all, Seokjin wouldn’t have called you out to meet in person if it wasn’t urgent. Unless legal paperwork was involved, your usual means of communication with the self-proclaimed Important Man was limited to phone calls and e-mails.

“Your first big movie,” was what he said in lieu of greeting, a proud smile pulling at his lips. You relaxed somewhat. He looked visibly pleased with himself which could only mean good news for you. “Now, no need to thank me...but I did pull a few strings to land you this job.”

“Uh-oh.” You stared hard at him, trying to detect the underlying message behind his words. Knowing him, ‘pulling a few strings’ could mean anything from calling in a favor to giving the director a blowjob in the back of his car between shoots. He was that kind of agent.

Seokjin shrugged, choosing not to put your worries to rest. “I know the casting director well—we were in the same frat. We catch up from time to time and when he mentioned he was looking for a fresh face, I immediately recommended you. They reviewed your portfolio and really liked those test shots we took of you two weeks ago.”

Your mind drifted back to the two hour long photoshoot that had taken place in Seokjin’s friend’s villa. Judging by the way the place was decked out to look like a pimp crib, you were half convinced that it was owned by a seedy nightclub owner or something of the sort. You were probably not too far off from the truth but all talks of shady property owners aside, the house served as a spacious and luxurious backdrop for your swimwear shoot. The concept of the day was ‘slutty trophy wife’. No added photo filters or retouching had been needed to make your skin look perfectly slick and shiny; your body had been waxed smooth and slicked down with baby oil—your tiny bikini basically just an accessory.

At the time, you had grumbled and complained about the set-up, cursing the burnt-red color that had appeared on your skin after posing provocatively by the poolside in the blistering heat. Your skin had needed a week to recover from all of the consequent peeling and redness and you had been obliged to cancel some of your schedules. Some things just couldn’t be fixed with makeup... And no one would pay money to see a girl with a bright red, flaky nose giving head. But all of that trouble had been well worth it if the finished pictures had gotten you such a coveted job in the end.

He gestured to the file in your hands, “You’ll be working with Min Yoongi.”

“Eh? Min Yoongi?”

Certain you had misunderstood, there was no use concealing your incredulity. Min Yoongi’s name held so much power on its own—the mere mention of it was enough to have you straighten your back. Surely this had to be a joke of some kind, right? The entire thing was just so absurd; it felt too good to be true. Frankly speaking, Yoongi was way out of your league. You hadn’t even been in the industry for very long...yet someone deemed you fit enough to work with a big gun?

You eyed the corners of the quaint coffee shop with suspicion. You tried to spot any hidden cameras, fully expecting a crew from MTV to bust out from the shadows at any moment and unveil the prank.

Seokjin let out a sigh, disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm. “Don’t look so put off. This time, you—or rather I—struck gold. Min Yoongi’s indisputably one of the best in the industry. He’s extremely professional and experienced—and handsome to boot. You’ll be in the very best hands. He rarely works with newbies, so consider yourself special.”

“I’m not put off,” you were quick to defend. “I’m just... I’m having a hard time believing any of this is real right now. Can you blame me?”

“Well believe it. Why do you look so surprised? There’s a reason people would open their wallets to see you on film. You’re very photogenic, you look great on film. Lots of people have hot bodies and pretty faces, but not many give off the same energy as you.”

You watched him plop in a third cube of sugar into his black coffee, not thinking much of his compliments. The thing about Seokjin was that he knew exactly what to say—the well-timed flattery basically second nature to him. At first, you couldn’t help but be charmed, however you soon came to realize that you were just one of the many people his sweet-talk had an effect on. Seokjin had absolutely no qualms using the same lines and buttery tone with anyone he met, and after seeing the way he operated, everything about him seemed too rehearsed and contrived to be genuine.

Seokjin waited until all the sweetness had dissolved into his drink before continuing, “You know that we always advise against filming anal and DP scenes right away for a reason. It's hard to make a living off of porn because people naturally tend to lose interest once they’ve seen everything you have to offer. Over time, talents tend to lose their shine. Being in the industry changes you. Doesn’t matter if they’re the best actor out there, the dead fish eyes will always give them away... It’s like they’re not really present during the scene, you know what I mean? If the performer is bored, so is their audience. If the audience is bored, no one will be willing to hire them anymore.”

“Well isn’t that lovely,” you intoned drily, silently contemplating your own fate. How long would it take before you eventually became that jaded? What a bleak future to look forward to.

“I’m just being honest,” he raised his shoulders, his ever-present smile dimming a little. “It’s better to be honest about this. I don’t have any time to be spewing any inspirational bullshit. And you shouldn’t listen to anyone who tries to feed you that crap, either. You should always know what you’re signing up for.”

You supposed there was some merit to his words. Even if he was heavy-handed with his praises, he had never painted you an idyllic picture of the adult film industry. Before signing the contract with your agency, they had made sure that you had known exactly what you were putting on the line, what you were risking. You had never ventured into this world with false hopes; they had made it quite clear that if you didn’t make it big within the first few years, it would be hard to find your footing in an industry that was constantly on the lookout for new talents. Considering how the average span of a porn star’s career was less than three years, you understood the pressure to cement your name before your time was up. Building a solid fanbase was crucial if you wanted to survive as a porn star.

With this thought weighing on your conscious, you regretted not showing more gratitude to your agent... Without him, you probably would still be filming low quality videos that you tried to pass off as artsy. Seokjin had been a huge help in launching your career. He was basically fetching you deals left and right that no rookie without connections could ever get. In the past, you had been eager to seize these chances before they slipped away.

This time, however, you couldn’t shake off the mix of feelings that churned in the pit of your stomach as your eyes skimmed over Min Yoongi’s long list of impressive credentials and accolades. On the one hand, you were excited about being granted this huge opportunity right off the bat because being partnered with a renowned porn star meant that you got to ride off his fame. It meant getting more exposure, which was something you certainly wouldn’t refuse. (Only a fool would turn this offer down!)

On paper, it wasn’t that all different from any of your previous jobs—show up, get your makeup done, take your clothes off, get fucked, maybe fake an orgasm or two. Yet, for some ridiculous reason, you couldn’t help but feel strangely inadequate for the job. Nervousness crept up your spine the longer you let your gaze sweep over his lengthy résumé. Shooting with someone with this kind of reputation also meant that if you fucked up, everyone else would know about it the next day. The industry was a lot smaller than it appeared to be from the outside. One mishap could have you spending the rest of your career trying to erase the label you had inadvertently earned on set.

It wasn’t that you lacked confidence in your skills. You gave a mean blowjob and your pussy was nice to look at. Because your body was your bread and butter, you dieted and worked out daily in order to ensure you stayed in the best shape. Maybe it was vain of you to proclaim, but you looked good on camera, especially with your clothes off. And it wasn’t like you lacked any experience, either. You had filmed your fair share of pornography, so you knew you were able to keep the public interested, if the rising views during the weekly cam sessions were any indication of your popularity. But the stakes wouldn’t be the same this time and that was what scared you.

Perhaps Seokjin sensed your distress because he offered you an encouraging smile, his whitened teeth on display. “You’ll do great. If I didn’t think you would make it big, I wouldn’t waste my time on you. I always put my eggs in the right basket so I’m confident that this will go well. This isn’t going to be some seedy shoot filmed on a three hundred dollar budget. They’re pulling out all the stops for this one... The director is hoping this will win him another AVN award this year but we’ll see. Don’t mention it if you see him, by the way. He’s a bit sensitive and it’s best not to step on his toes too much.”

All you could do was nod, distracted by other, more worrying thoughts. Were you ready to actually go through with this? Would you be able to do a good job? What if you somehow messed up? You stopped yourself from continuing this line of thought. That would be counter-productive. It really wasn’t like you to doubt yourself this much but the minute your agent had dropped Min Yoongi’s name, you had been putting everything into question.

Seokjin held your gaze, his eyebrow raised expectantly as he waited for your inner ramblings to cease.

“Now, if you could just review the terms of the contract before signing and we’ll be all set.”

You stared at the dotted line, pen in hand. Seokjin hadn’t hired a fool. It didn’t take very long to finish signing all the legal paperwork.

Despite your initial fretting, you were excited to finally be part of something so big. The production cost for this movie was noticeably more significant than any of your past works put together. That meant better filming equipment, better filming locations, better actors. The more you thought about it, the more convinced you were that this would be your breakthrough role. This movie could potentially change your life and help you make a name for yourself.

It became all the more apparent that your key to success would be working with Min Yoongi.

Before this, you had only heard about him in passing—his name one you had overheard whispered by the gossiping hair and makeup staff, one that you saw plastered on the covers of glossy magazines and online news articles. You had seen printouts of his face on the front of a handful of film posters that lined up the walls of your agency’s building. He was someone you knew of, someone you knew about, but you had never experienced this burning curiosity to know about him before today.

With so much at stake, you decided to do your homework. You did your research, watching his interviews on YouTube and searching his name up on various web portals. Through the pieces of information you had gathered by watching his interviews, he seemed like a calm, collected man—completely different from the image you initially had of him. His cockiness wasn’t showcased through self-praises and obvious boasting; but rather by the way he coolly and confidently answered the blunt questions hurled at him from prejudiced interviewers. Never had he flinched or faltered; never had he let anyone intimidate him with twisted questions intended to cause controversy.

It was his cold, no-nonsense kind of behavior which led you to wonder: what sort of person was he like to work with? Without the firsthand experience, the only way you could find out was by personally purchasing a movie he starred in. Which you did—for research purposes only, of course. There was no shame in wondering what your partner looked like in action or how he worked once the camera started rolling, right?

Watching his movie meant that you were taking your job seriously, you reasoned Seokjin had assured you over and over again that you would be in good hands, but what weight did his words have when he wasn’t the one getting spanked in front of a filming crew? You just wanted to know what sex with this man would be like. What was it exactly that you had to look forward to?

You set up your laptop and made sure everything was plugged in properly (the last thing you wanted was for your computer screen to black out during the good bits). Pillows propped behind you, you wriggled around beneath your fleece blanket until you found a comfortable position.

The movie you had picked out was supposed to be on the tamer side of his porn filmography. You had selected it in the hope that it would ease you into things. It was a typical let's-fuck-the-babysitter scenario so you didn't really expect much. Scenarios like these were predictable because they had been done so many times before. How much would you be willing to bet that it followed the cunnilingus+sex on the couch+blowjob formula? But with how popular he was, you didn’t really know what to expect anymore... What made him so different from the rest? A part of you was worried he had a monster dick or something equally impossible to recover from. Guys with huge dicks always made it difficult to keep up your filming schedule and a good fuck was never worth that setback.

Laptop nestled in your lap, you pressed play. The screen of your laptop lit up, signaling the start of the movie, and you held your breath as you finally got to see what all the fuss was about.

The first thing you were immediately struck by was how incredibly handsome he was. Even though his female partner was no less attractive, your eyes couldn’t help but stay glued on him. You could tell just by the way he carried himself and the way he spoke that he was very confident and self-assured. He never looked away from his partner, his lids heavy and eyes dark with the promise of more to come. You couldn't look away; his simple presence demanded you pay him attention.

The more you watched, the more you understood why people when wild for him; his charisma coupled with his experience had evidently made his career long-lasting and successful. Surprisingly, any line he delivered sounded convincing. He made a cheesy, over-the-top porn script sound hot. How the hell? You put the volume up, your earphones picking up the slightest noise—every rustle of the sheets, every sigh of pleasure from the girl, and every slick and obscene noise coming from her pussy as Yoongi thrust into her were loud enough for you to believe you were there as it happened.

You weren’t exactly sure when, but your eyes had fallen closed somewhere along the way. The audio in your ears helped fuel the lewd scenarios you conjured up in your mind; it wasn’t hard to imagine yourself in the place of his female counterpart, Yoongi working his hips against yours, his heavy breathing tickling your ears as you moaned out his name. Sliding your hand beneath the waistband of your panties, you were barely surprised to find yourself already damp with arousal. You carefully circled a finger around your entrance, coating the digit with your fluids until it was lubricated enough to slip in.

Quickly, you built up a steady rhythm. Your finger tried to mimic the pace he had set—each thrust inside your wet pussy a weak imitation of what his hardened length would feel like inside of you. One finger wasn't nearly enough to satisfy the growing need that pulsed between your legs. You eased in a second digit next to the first, feeling your walls stretch to accommodate the newest intrusion. Breathing out a sigh, you kicked your head back as you worked yourself to a frenzy, letting the loud sounds flowing through your earbuds lull you into a trance.

“Such a good pussy.” The wet, squelching noises almost drowned out his groan of appreciation. You mewled in response and spread your legs wider as if to urge him deeper, but it was no use. Your fingers couldn’t bring you the same satisfaction that his thick cock would. Squeezing in a third finger, you tried to imagine him working his hips against yours, his lean body sticky with sweat as he filled you up to the brim with every thrust. “Hear that? You take my cock so well, baby.”

"So fucking—tight." He growled out, the primal sound loud in your ears. Lust coursed through your veins and you could feel it burn, melting away any of your inhibitions. Sucked deep in your fantasy, you could vividly picture his pink lips curling into a smirk as he watched you slowly start to unravel before him.

Tears stung your eyes. You arched your back, hips rutting against your hand, as you tried to alleviate the burning ache within you. Your fingers twisted around, rubbing your walls, searching for that sensitive spot inside of you. But your efforts were futile—from the angle you were sitting in, your fingers couldn’t quite reach it, no matter how much you tried. Forehead shiny with perspiration, you keened in frustration, too wound up to continue. You wanted to cum so badly that it hurt. Desperately horny, you changed your course action, circling at your swollen clit instead with renewed determination.

The first slide against your nub was electrifying and your entire body shuddered, overcome with pleasure. The obscene sounds from the video blended in with your own soundtrack. Breathless and dizzy with want, you failed to register that the moans spilling from your mouth were echoes of Yoongi’s name. Your pleas for release grew louder as the fire inside your lower belly erupted into an inferno.

"I can feel you around me, fuck, you gonna cum soon, baby? Yeah? Gonna cum all over my cock?" Yoongi whispered harshly into the crook of your ear, his heavy breathing sending shivers down your back. “Fucking cum.”

His name on your lips, you threw your head back as the band inside you snapped, your body his to command. Trembling all over from the force of your orgasm, you clenched your eyes closed as you tried to prolong your trance. If you imagined hard enough, you could feel his hot breath fan your skin, his fingers bruise your hips as he kept you still.

Yoongi’s voice echoed inside of your head long after the aftershocks of your orgasm had waned, haunting and promising all at once.

It took another useless glance at the clock to confirm that you were early. You were filming the second sex scene today. The first scene had been filmed already and you hadn’t run into any complications. Your male co-star’s dirty talk could have been better, but his handsome face and skilled tongue had made up for it. You could still remember the delicious stretch of his long fingers inside of you, and how his deep baritone voice growled in your ear as he fucked you pressed up against a window. Off camera, he had been nice and easy-going, cracking the occasional joke between takes.

With how great things had turned out yesterday, you were anticipating today’s scene almost as much as your character was. Today you were filming the scene with Min Yoongi—the grand finale, the climax of all climaxes. The Big Nut. Makeup and hair done, you had already filmed your intro video and were now killing time before the actual shoot began.

Better early than late, you tried to console yourself. Waiting around like this made you jittery; the amount of caffeine pumping through your veins filled you with a burst of energy you found hard to keep under control. It wasn’t even noon and your daily dose of coffee had already been exceeded. You bounced your leg up and down, the constant fidgeting giving away how nervous you really were.

You tried to distract yourself by reading over the film script, ignoring how your fingers trembled slightly like a chronic smoker who hadn’t gotten their fix.

The movie was scheduled to run for one hour or so, with two sex scenes filmed in two different locations with different actors. The scenario was your cliché go-to porn plot in which you would be playing the role of a naughty student who gets caught fucking someone after school hours by her teacher. Punishment ensues. You fuck your feelings out. The end.

Well, that was definitely something you could handle, you thought to yourself as you leafed through the script. Although there had been more lines to memorize than you were used to, you had confidently assured your agent that you would be able to do it. You were glad that your two years hanging out in the theater club back in high school wouldn’t be for nothing... It was a shame that you could only showcase your acting skills in a porn movie because you knew a lot of people would skip over the plot and jump straight to the filth. During the last few days, the mediocre porn dialogue had become your bible, your bedside book that you read religiously before going to sleep. You had read it over so often, you were confident that you could recite every line in your sleep.

A polite cough interrupted your pre-show pep talk.

You looked up, not expecting to meet Min Yoongi’s gaze. Blinking, you took in his features, not realizing that you were blatantly staring. Who could blame you, though? There was something so virile about Yoongi that had you doing a double take. He exuded masculinity with every step he took towards you. Something inside you clenched.

“____?” He called your name, gaze flicking over your features in turn. He took a seat opposite of you and holding out a hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you smiled as sweetly as you could. His grip was strong and secure, his touch cold.

“Hm.” He let out a noncommittal sound while he perused a file on his lap. You recognized the papers Seokjin had typed up beforehand, your name headlining one of them, but your attention was quickly diverted.

Your eyes were instantly drawn to his long and elegant looking fingers, the veins in his hands prominent whenever he flipped a page over absentmindedly. It was strange seeing them in person... Just the other night, you had been salivating over the thought of them inside you, thrusting and curling with expert precision and unwavering focus, every movement intended to coax a moan of pleasure from your lips. You had seen how lethal they could be through the screen of your laptop... Now you were going to be experiencing those skills firsthand. The thought sent a rush of excitement through your body.

“I’ve taken note of your hard limits.” His smooth baritone tone snapped you back to attention. “The scene doesn’t require we go that far anyway, but just in case you get too uncomfortable with anything, your safe word is ‘cobbler’, correct?”

“Yes.” You gave a short nod, your neck stiff as you tried not to break eye contact.

“Have you read through my form?”

“I have, Mr. Min.”

A snort escaped him then, his lips curling into the kind of smile that bordered on a smirk. “No need to be so formal. You can call me by my name outside of a scene.”

“Yoongi, then.” Your hands felt clammy all of a sudden and you wiped your palms on your skirt, hoping that he wouldn’t notice your incessant fidgeting. The glint in his eyes indicated that you weren’t nearly as successful in masking your nervousness as you would have liked. You didn’t even know why you felt so antsy. This wasn’t your first time meeting an attractive porn star. Yesterday’s shoot with Taehyung had gone without a hitch. So why were you getting so worked up now? You weren’t eighteen and impressionable anymore.

His gaze swept over your body, interrupting your line of thought. You felt it brush over your delicate throat, your supple curves, your bare legs. The scrutiny made the surface of your skin heat up, your legs clench together.

“Ah, I’m looking forward to working with you.” A ghost of a smirk crossed his features. For a moment, you believed it to be a product of your imagination, but he shot you a wink as he got up to his feet, the action suggestive enough to have you swallow thickly.

In retrospect, maybe it was a good thing you were nervous—it made your acting a lot more believable. You wrung your hands together, head bowed in a show of contrition.

"While Mr. Jung and I don't see eye to eye on a number of subjects, some of his methods of punishment have been very enlightening—albeit a tad primitive.” He regarded you with detached interest, his eyes sweeping over your figure. His impassive stare made you fidget in your seat, the scratchy material of your skirt rubbing against your thighs. “I could just let you off with a detention slip, but students like you need to be put back in their place."

Yoongi was so good at this, his tone convincing enough to have you believe in his words. For a moment, you let yourself pretend that all of this was real—that you had really acted up when you weren’t supposed to and that he was now going to punish you for your misbehavior. It was so easy to slip into your role when he appeared so serious and forbidding.

"Bend over."

He punctuated his command by tapping his ruler against his wooden desk, his tongue clucking in a show of impatience when you refused to move. You licked your dry lips, silently wishing you could have a glass of cool water to quench your sudden thirst.

"A-are you serious?" you croaked, finally remembering the lines you had memorized.

"I assure you, I am not the type to joke around."

With his arms crossed, he looked every bit like the imposing figure he was playing as. Gulping audibly, you slowly gathered to your feet. You kept your gaze trained on the polished floorboards, making sure to avoid his probing stare.

"I find that corporal punishment works wonders on troublesome students like yourself. Writing lines for an hour hardly has the same impact." Above you, his low chuckle could be heard. Goosebumps raised to attention as your eyes fluttered to a close.

“Skirt up. Let me see that ass.”

“S-sir.”

“You had no qualms flashing me your filthy cunt the other day. Up, now.”

You hurried to obey, his stern tone jolting you into action. Your fingers reached behind you, hiking the material of the skirt high enough so that your skin was exposed to the cool air. Behind you, Yoongi patted your cheek in mock praise before deftly fitting the hem of your skirt into the band of your waistline so as to keep the fabric in place.

Not expecting him to kick your feet wider apart, you barely managed to stifle your yelp of surprise. You attempted to anchor yourself by clutching the sides of the desk, your legs now stretched too widely apart to be considered decent behavior. The position you were in was humiliating, intended to make you feel vulnerable and exposed.

“Good.”

The single word had your pulse race. His praise felt like a physical caress, and you closed you eyes to let the feeling wash over you.

“Now tell me.” Yoongi’s voice was now deceptively smooth and you knew right away that he was toying with you. “How many misdemeanors was that in one night, hmm?”

You blinked, suddenly remembering that you were supposed to be portraying a misbehaving student. Cursing your lack of focus, your mouth opened as you tried to recall the script. When you took too long to answer, Yoongi went on with the scene, sidestepping your blunder.

“Too many,” he supplied with a sigh, sounding disappointed; whether it was with you for forgetting your lines or with your character, you weren’t sure. Either way, the remorseful look on your face wasn’t extremely hard to fake. You felt nervous again, wondering how well you would be able to perform today.

With an easy yank, your panties fell to the ground, leaving you even more indecently exposed than before. As Yoongi crouched down to peel them off of your body completely, any worries you might have had didn’t seem of much importance anymore. What mattered was the touch of his fingers on the backs of your thighs—cold against your burning skin.

"I wish you could see yourself right now." He mocked, voice laced with something akin to smugness. You felt his hot breath tickle the insides of your knee, the sensation almost enough to make them buckle. "Skirt up, legs spread wide open... So wet and ready for a nice cock between your thighs, isn’t that right?”

The bright lights from overhead spotlighted the acute shame and arousal that raged within you. Both coalesced into one intense emotion that reduced you to a big puddle of desire. You weren't sure if it was his husky tone or the shocking amount of filth that spewed from his lips, but you felt the coil in your stomach tighten with each word leaking into your ear. Your heart raced wildly in your chest, your hands hanging uselessly by your head. His words made you want to hide your face behind your arms, but you knew that wasn’t an option—not when a camera was intent on capturing every shift of your expression.

Your lack of response didn’t seem to deter him for he continued on, merciless with his interrogation.

“Is this turning you on? Do you like being reminded how desperate you are to be stuffed full?"

Every question left you short of breath—you felt each of them like physical thrusts that made the crux of your thighs ache with a need to be filled up. A heavy haze muddled your thoughts. All you could focus on was the throbbing in your core; all you could here was his voice crooning obscenities in the crook of your ear.

"I can see your tight hole clench.” Yoongi let out a disbelieving laugh, the derisive sound making your cheeks bloom pink with embarrassment.

The flush that adorned your cheeks only darkened further when you realized the camera probably had a perfect, unobstructed view of your sopping center. You could only imagine what the sight would look like on screen—your inner thighs glistening from your slick, your lower lips slightly swollen and flushed pink from your obvious arousal. With the way you were bent over the desk, presenting yourself willingly to his hungry stare, you had no doubts that you looked like an expensive dessert ready to be devoured.

"Y-Yoongi, please..." Eyes glassy, you felt yourself clench again as you imagined his dark eyes drinking in the sight of you bent over, wet and ready for him.

"Don't talk to me so informally," he scolded, pinching the inside of your thigh as punishment. A yelp escaped your parted lips—not because it was painful but because you felt a sting of pleasure zap straight to your bundle of nerves like an electric shock. “Address me properly.”

It was easy to give in if it meant you would get what you wanted. “Y-yes, sir.”

“Now, let’s start this again.” Holding your breath in anticipation for what was to come, you struggled to stay still in the position he wanted even though your knees ached. How long were you expected to stay like this? It probably hadn’t been very long, maybe five minutes at the most, but you could already feel the muscles in your thighs straining. “When I ask you a question, I expect a verbal response, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” Thankfully your voice was stable this time. He patted one of your exposed cheeks in praise, the little slap enough to have you wanting more.

Your legs were so spread out that you didn’t notice you were making a mess on the floor until Yoongi brought attention to the drops that spotted the wood, "I'm not even touching you and you're making a mess. What? Pretty boy Kim Taehyung fail to get you off?"

"Maybe he would have if you hadn't interrupted," you bit out, true to the script. Frustration seeped into your every word, but it was more directed at yourself for getting so aroused by his words and actions. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so affected; usually you had to play it up a lot more for the cameras but this time you barely registered the filming crew that stood a few feet away.

"I don't need to touch your dirty cunt for you to cum," he huffed. Although you couldn’t see his expression, you could picture his stare hardening and his lips thinning into a straight line. "You’re soiling my office right now and all it took was for you to offer your pussy to me. You’re proving to be quite the slut tonight. I think I’ll leave you like this, legs open, empty and aching for cock, as your punishment.”

"Wait—no, please!” The desperation in your voice was alarmingly real. You could feel your eyes well with tears of frustration because the prospect of being denied release was simply too cruel to fathom. You didn’t know how long you would be able to endure having nothing filling you up. In every one of your past films, the scene had always had minimal foreplay and little to no plot. Normally at the 5 minute mark, you would have already swallowed his dick down your throat... You weren’t used to having this drag on for so long. Never before had you felt this engaged while shooting a porn scene.

"I don't want you to beg. I want you to apologize—no, to grovel."

Shameless, you whimpered, “I'm sorry. I'm so—please, I'm sorry.”

His hand crashed down on your burning skin with a resounding smack. The unexpected force behind the swat ripped a cry from your throat, the sound raw and primal. Your eyes watered as you panted, breath cut short when he brought his hand down on the opposite cheek.

"And what exactly are you sorry for, slut?"

The hands soothing over the sting contrasted with the unforgiving edge in his voice. You suddenly remembered what Seokjin had said, that you were in capable hands. You believed these words, trusting Yoongi to make the right decisions.

"I'm sorry for sneaking out past curfew."

"What else?"

"I'm sorry for... Sorry for behaving indecently with Taehyung."

"Not specific enough," he chided, his rebuke underscored by a harsh slapping noise.

"I'm sorry! Please, ah, I'm sorry we were kissing. Sorry for letting him—nhh—touch me." With every new admission, he delivered a firm spank to your reddening cheeks. The blows weren’t hard enough to really hurt, but the repeated swats onto your sensitive skin would probably leave a blooming bruise. You couldn’t wait to see the visible reminder of your punishment, the red mark from his hand his personal brand of ownership.

"And where did he dare touch you?" Yoongi’s lips curled into a scowl, his voice low and dangerous.

"My breasts. B-but only over my vest," you were quick to add after sensing Yoongi's form tense over you. "And my—my thighs..." You were desperately trying to remember the lines of the script you had practiced so hard to memorize, but the exact wording kept escaping you with every firm swat of his hand against the globes of your ass.

Yoongi's deafening silence urged you to finish your confession. He rubbed circles over your stinging skin with the palms of his hands, squeezing the soft flesh between his fingers as he waited for you to resume talking.

Taking a shuddering breath, you obliged him, "He—he filled my pussy up with his f-fingers..."

"Did he? And did you enjoy that? Did you like having his long fingers fuck your greedy hole?" He reached down and delved a hand between your legs as he spoke. With a skilled index finger, he ran it across your wet lips tentatively to gauge how ready you were for him. Pausing at your entrance, he swirled his finger around, coating it in your copious amount of arousal. Just one finger was not nearly close enough to the friction you craved. You bucked your hips in response, silently beckoning him for more, as if that would somehow convince him to put an end to the teasing.

Immediately, he chastised you by smacking your sopping wet center. Arching your back, you felt all the air leave your lungs with a drawn out whimper. Echoes of pleasure vibrated throughout your body, from your head to your very toes. Your clit throbbed, swollen with arousal. The tingling sensations made your inner walls clamp down and you found yourself wishing not for the first time for his cock to fill you up.

“Answer me.” Yoongi hissed between his teeth—a warning you didn’t dare ignore.

"Y-yes, yes, I did," you finally responded after struggling to remember the initial question.

"Is that all? Was that all he put inside of you?”

“No.” With a swipe of your tongue, you licked your dry lips.

“No?”

The one word question was enough to know that he wasn’t going to let it go until you elaborated your answer. You squirmed in his hold, your heart pounding as you finally admitted what he wanted to know. “He put his cock in-inside me.”

“You let him fuck you?” The incredulity that colored his tone sounded so genuine you almost believed his act. You shuddered. “I should’ve known a dirty little slut like you wouldn’t be able to keep her legs shut.”

“I’m sorry, sir. Please, p-please fu—” You gulped, your throat dry.

“Speak up, girl!” He snapped, slapping the palm of his hand over your slick center. As soon as his fingers hit your clit, you felt your back arching and your sensitive nipples rub up against the hard, wooden surface of the desk. The searing pain hit all of your nerve endings, effectively rendering you speechless. Meanwhile, your hips futilely chased after his punishing touch, hoping to finally get the satisfaction you were craving for. "Tell me, do you like getting humiliated? I'm trying to punish you but you seem to be enjoying this far too much. I thought that a girl like you would need a firm hand to get her act together, but I think that you need more than that, don’t you?"

"Answer me.” Yoongi punctuated his command with another smack to your lower lips, the sudden blow leaving you dizzy and bereft of coherency.

"Yes—ah fuck, sir please!" Gasping, the feeling of the harsh sting shot straight to your swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves like an electric shock. For a short second, your mind felt blissfully blank as the zap of pleasure traveled through your entire body from one extremity to another. "Please touch me, I need to come!"

"I can see that.” He laughed, spreading out your cheeks out so he could have a better look at the proof of your shame. “Your hole keeps clenching, asking for fingers...or perhaps it needs a nice, thick cock? Hm?"

A whimper left your lips before you could think of subduing it. The thought of finally having him buried deep inside of you was nearly too much to bear. From the way you were bent over and spread wide open, you were basically offering yourself to him. All he had to do was take what was his.

“Please fuck me now,” you moaned, hoping that he would douse the fire between your legs. The need for friction was so unbearable you thought that you would burst at the seams. You tried to undulate your hips in a silent plea for more but his left hand kept you pinned down and immobile to the table.

"I thought as much. What makes you think you deserve mine? Do you honestly think you deserve this cock?” As if to tease you even further, he pressed himself against your exposed backside. Your entire body shuddered as it felt the prominent outline of his erect length through the material of his pants. Even through the layers of fabric, you could tell that he was well endowed. Images of him on screen, feeding his cock to his partner as she begged him to fuck her throat, flashed through your mind. Your mouth watered at the prospect of finally having him in the way that you so desired.

“Please, sir.”

Your mouth was so dry that your plea could barely be heard over the thundering of your heart. Somehow, he had understood your dire need, for he spoke, “Little whores like you should know how to beg for a fucking properly.” His voice was full of disappointment as he stepped away from you. Panicking from the loss of proximity, you hurried to placate him.

“Sir! Please fuck my dirty pussy. Fuck Taehyung’s cum out of my pussy. Please, sir, I’m your slut, only yours, please make your slut cum.”

Your watery plea was met with tense silence, and it was then that you realized that you had said the wrong thing.

“Up,” he ordered, finally breaking the stifling stillness.

Your reactions were somewhat delayed, dizziness dulling your senses and slowing you down. Still feeling unstable, you gripped the edge of the desk, your knuckles turning white. Blood rushed to your head and you had to wait for a few seconds before the spots of light that danced in your vision faded away.

"Naughty sluts don't wear clothes, do they?"

Even though it was clearly a rhetorical question, you replied anyway, head bowed in shame, "No, sir."

Without waiting for his verbal command, you began to strip yourself of the cheap, white blouse. Subconsciously, you made sure to face one of the cameras as you slowly undid the buttons of your top one by one. Normally, you would be acutely aware of how everyone's attention was focused on you, but the only thing you could focus on this time was Yoongi's predatory stare. It was the minute changes in his expression that gave him away—his pupils were blown wide with lust, his nostrils flaring slightly as he drank the sight of you in—and, of course, the bulge in his slacks that he didn't bother to hide.

Next came the skirt. It hadn't been covering much to begin with, but with the way it was bunched up useless at your hips, you didn't feel any more exposed than you previously did once it came off.

Left in only your lacy bra, you played coy, your fingers just barely keeping the flimsy material held up. This part of the scene hadn't been explicitly discussed beforehand, but many things had deviated from the original script. And since nobody had interrupted the two of you yet, you figured that you were allowed to take a few liberties. Instead of feeling confused and lost from the unpredictability of the events, a strange feeling of excitement surged through you. It didn't feel like you were going through practiced motions; you felt wholly engaged in the present. You only had a vague idea of where this was headed and the element of surprise kept you on your toes.

Yoongi, ever in character, was not amused by your games. He clucked his tongue and narrowed his eyes in warning. Tilting his head as if silently asking you 'do you really want to play this game?’ you finally cowered. Your hands fell to your side along with your last material scrap of decency. There was not a single thread to cover you any longer—Yoongi was free to scrutinize every inch of exposed skin without a barrier to block his view. By slipping off your last item of clothing, you had bent yourself to his will and surrendered your body to him.

“On the desk, on your hands and knees. Ass up and hold yourself open for me.”

You scrambled to comply, not wanting to test his patience. Maybe if this was another day, in another place...but here, right now, you felt yourself follow his lead as if your body was on automatic.

The position was somehow even more degrading than the previous one. From this angle, Yoongi now had a better view of your drenched pussy. And by holding yourself open for him, you felt like a willing participant to your own humiliation. Perched on all fours atop the piece of furniture, you felt like just another object of decoration—your sole purpose to be used or admired as pleased.

You felt terribly exposed, but there was no denying the resulting spike of arousal in your stomach. But just as quickly as the burst of desire spiked, it disappeared, leaving you even more sexually frustrated than before.

"CUT!" the director yelled from somewhere behind you. The sudden reminder that you weren't alone, that this wasn't real, made you flinch. It felt like someone had yanked you straight back to reality without forewarning and you were left confused and disoriented, stuck between the truth and fantasy. "Good, you guys are doing good. Let's take a short break. We need to fix the lighting.”

Film breaks weren’t uncommon but you had been so immersed in the scene that you were slow to react. "Fix her makeup before we prep for the second part," came the second set of instructions.

Truthfully, you weren't paying attention; too busy steadying your racing heart. A young woman came forward and blotted the sweat at your hairline with a tissue before reapplying a layer of gloss on your lips and retouching your eyeliner. You barely registered her actions, not focused on your surroundings in the least.

"We're going to stick the bulb inside of you now, okay?"

It took several moments for you to understand that they were talking to you. As the words finally registered, you nodded your agreement.

The strange, artificial mixture felt cold inside of your walls. It was probably the usual stuff they used when they shot creampies, you thought distantly, not caring. Every squirt inside of you made your hips twitch in reaction although there was nothing sexy about this; the clinical approach dampened your arousal and gave you time to clear your mind. Your eyebrows knitted together as you patiently waited for the faux semen to fill you up. They made sure not to shoot it deep inside, so you felt it slowly start to ooze out as soon as the assistant stepped away from you.

"Yoongi, we'll restart from your last line, ‘ass up and hold yourself open for me’, got it? Everyone ready? Scene 2, take 2, aand action!"

Silence fell upon the watching crew members. This way, it was easy to erase their presence and give your attention to Yoongi.

"Hold yourself open for me." Softly, he whispered, his voice smooth like liquid silk.

You reached behind you, fingers gripping your now sore skin, and held yourself open so that he could inspect your pussy. His hot breath fanned over your backside, and it took all of your strength not to squirm away from his proximity.

"Look how easy you are. Head down, ass up like a bitch in heat." Every word had you spiraling deeper into submission. You whimpered, low in your throat, the degrading words making you throb, "I bet Taehyung had no trouble at all sliding in this greedy cunt. You probably asked for it, didn't you? Can't live without something filling this hole up."

"Silly slut," he pinched your throbbing clit, ripping a pained yelp from your throat. "Your pussy is mine. Only I get to cum inside. You take my cum, and only when I think you're worthy enough for my seed."

The thought of belonging to him, of having him use you like his own personal plaything, made your body quiver with desire. More than anything, you wanted him to fuck you good, to take what belonged to him. In that moment, you were his. His voice controlled you, his hands disciplined you, his cock would reward you. Every inch of your pleasure belonged to him.

Your mouth watered—a burning thirst raging inside of you. You were more than convinced you would be willing to do anything to douse the ache that ate away at the remaining bits of your sanity. "I only want your cock, sir. No one gives it to me like you, I can only cum with your cum inside of me."

"Get your fingers nice and wet, slut. Get yourself clean and ready for me."

The slippery fluid inside of you felt no different than cold lube. As your fingers pumped in and out of your tight hole, the mixture spilled out of you, staining the insides of your thighs with opaque white. The mess you were making was of little importance—all of your senses were focused instead on your burgeoning orgasm. Yoongi had already wound you up so tightly that you felt the coil inside of you ready to snap at a moment's notice.

Suddenly you remembered that Yoongi was watching your performance with hawk eyes. Afraid of the consequences you would have to face if you came without permission, you slowed down your movements, hoping he would allow you at least this.

But no such mercy came. The sharp sting on the side of your right cheek made you lurch forward, your knees sliding against the sleek and polished surface. Yoongi's hands were instantly by your hips, grounding you in place. His strong grip made your worries ebb away; you trusted him to keep you from toppling over onto the ground.

The stark contrast between Yoongi’s reassuring touch and the hard edge in his tone was startling. "Is all of his cum out yet? No? Then get back to work," he snapped out his command, his hands now spreading your cheeks wide open so that he and the camera could have a perfect view of your messy pussy. “Look how fucking filthy you are, it’s leaking all over. Just how much cock did you take for it to make so much of a mess?”

You could feel your skin heating up again, his lewd commentary setting you aflame with renewed desire. Your fingers worked the cum-colored lube out of your core, every loud squelch picked up by the cameras. Mouth parted; whine after whine escaped from your lips. Your need for release was becoming more unbearable by the second, and you were reaching that point where the consequences of your actions started to matter little.

“Little slut wants to cum?” The mocking lilt in Yoongi’s voice told you he wasn’t going to let you have it easy. Your head lolled forward, resigning yourself to more of what he had in store for you. “You won’t, and want to know why?”

He wound his fingers through your tresses, before yanking hard. Your scalp burned and you had no choice but to tilt your head back and meet his steely stare. From above, he exuded dominance and authority; his icy expression and firm grip in your hair challenging you to not break eye contact.

“No, sir,” you rasped, finding it hard to form the words with the way your head was bent backwards.

“You won’t because dirty whores can only cum with a fat cock inside of them, isn’t that right?” He spat, his features twisting almost as if he was disgusted with you.

But you knew that was far from the truth. After all, you weren’t blind to the way his pupils were dilated—only a thin circle of brown was left, the hunger in his eyes having eclipsed the rest. His nostrils flared when you mewled in response to the humiliation—another visible sign of his arousal. You knew he wanted you, but the problem was that he, unlike you, had perfect control over his desire.

Try as you might, it was impossible to taper the need pulsing between your thighs. You craved it as much as the air you breathed.

“I can only cum if I have you inside me,” you sobbed, giving in completely. Any reservations were gone; you knew you would do anything to please this man. Hand still buried in your cunt, you begged, “My pleasure is yours, sir. I’m want—only want your thick cock inside of me, please take what’s yours. I’m yours, just yours. I’m a dirty slut, please u—use me.”

Shivers wracked through your frame when you heard him slide down his zipper. All of your senses were trained on him, your body reacting to even the slightest rustle of clothes.

“Good slut.” The silken croon made its way to your ears and you closed your eyes, letting the praise wash over you. “Let me see if your cunt’s ready for me.” When Yoongi easily replaced your fingers with his own, you instantly felt the stretch. He crooked his digits inside of you, listening to your needy whimpers with relish. Two fingers quickly became three, the force of his thrusts never slowing down.

“I’m going to fuck you from behind, slut. But that’s how you like it, don’t you?” You sniffled, not trying to refute the claim. To be taken from behind like some animal in heat, forced to submit to the brunt of his passion... When he phrased it like that, it sounded so humiliating, so degrading. Here you were, bent and kneeling on a desk, your naked ass perked up for his viewing pleasure, just like the common slut he was accusing you of being. “Like a good little bitch.”

You didn’t deny his accusations because you knew it to be true. Your breasts only got this sensitive if you were ovulating or if you were really turned on. And there was no use denying the former, not with the way your cunt was shiny and drenched with your own fluids.

“Bend over the desk properly if you want to get fucked.”

Never before had you completed a task with so much enthusiasm. You stretched your limbs out, your feet finding purchase on the ground while your hands gripped the edge of the desk. Excitement pooled in your gut; you had never felt so eager for a fucking before. You were unsure how much time had passed since the start of the shoot, but it somehow felt like lifetimes ago. You had been ready for his cock half a century ago.

It seemed like Yoongi was done dawdling around as well. He eased the tip of his cock inside of you. There was so much of your slick and lube, that it took two, three tries before successfully pushing in. You let out a shaky breath, body shuddering. Above you, Yoongi let out a grunt, his hands kneading your reddened flesh between his fingers. He kept you open for him, his attention fixed on the way your warm walls gripped his head snugly, eager to be fed more. Unable to form coherent words, you clenched around him, attempting to draw him in deeper.

“A perfect plaything, letting me use her up however I want.” His words cut off into a growl as he bottomed out, his balls slapping against you. Your eyes watered, the girth of his hardened shaft stretching you out deliciously. Sweat beaded at your brow as you struggled to stay still for him, wanting him to use you as he pleased.

Yoongi started up an easy rhythm, each of his thrusts making you slide across the surface of the desk. You felt stimulated from all over—you stiff nipples rubbed against the polished wood while his cock worked its way inside of you. Expletives intermingled with the occasional praise; and his grunts of satisfaction coaxed out your moans of pleasure.

“Tell me, can Taehyung fuck you this good?”

Distantly, you recognized this as a line from the script and your body reacted as if on auto-pilot. “No one can fuck me as good as you.”

“Is that right? Then why did you let him inside your cunt?” A deep thrust made you choke out a high-pitched moan, the sound slutty even to your own ears. He stayed buried deep inside of you, but you barely had time to catch your breath before he tightened his fingers around your locks and pulled. Using the grip in your hair to guide you into the position he desired, he yanked you upwards, your shaking arms now propping your upper body up.

“B-because I’m a slut,” you admitted, your head hanging low in shame. You weren’t even sure if it was an act or not, but the words seemed to spur him on even more, his thrusts speeding up once again. “I like having cum inside of me.”

“A cumslut, huh?” You struggled to stay propped up, but every harsh piston of his hips made stability difficult to maintain. “Can’t go without a man’s cum filling you up. You like being a cumdump for men that much?”

“O-only yours, only for you.”

“That’s right. I own this slutty cunt.” Yoongi brought his mouth close to your ear, his teeth biting your lobe before mouthing down the side of your neck. As he left a trail of hot kisses down the column of your neck, he brought his hands up to cup your breasts, feeling them bounce in his hold with every slap of his hips against your own. You felt his breathing becoming ragged, the sound doing things to your insides.

He sunk his fingers in the supple flesh, probably leaving another set of marks to match the ones on your hips and ass, and used his hold as leverage to fuck into you faster. Every thrust inside you knocked the breath out of you—your desire spiraling to new heights with each whispered word into your ear. The pleasure started to become too much to bear and you clenched around his length to signal your approaching orgasm.

“You’re gonna cum already? Should’ve known a slut like you wouldn’t be able to control herself when fed the right cock.” He didn’t slow down at all, his cock impaling you over and over again with no reprieve in sight. You knew if he kept this up, you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself back anymore.

“Please sir, let me cum,” you begged, your plea coming out in short pants. You didn’t know which one would give out first—your legs or your arms. The only thing that kept you upright and standing were Yoongi’s hands kneading your breasts and his hips pinning yours to the desk.

Yoongi released your nipple with a hard tug, the free hand snaking up to your parted mouth. Instinctively, your lips wrapped around the invading digits, sucking it like it would a cock. “So greedy. You don’t get to make the demands here, slut. But I’ll be nice today because you took your spanking so well. Go on then, little slut.”

The fact that you couldn’t even see the fact of the person who was stuffing two of your holes made the fucking so impersonal. A new wave of shame swept over you, and you felt like you could drown in it. Your body thrashed in his hold, a lightning bolt of pleasure zapping through your entire body and making you starry-eyed. Your entire world shrunk, until all you knew was him and the thick cock spearing you open.

Yoongi’s hips stuttered, his own release in reach. You felt his length twitch inside you but he quickly pulled out, his right hand stroking his slick shaft in furious strokes. You barely registered the first spurt of semen land on your well fucked pussy, the rest of his seed painting your lower lips in fields of white.

The force of your orgasm wiped you out and you took a few seconds to regain your bearings, eyes still closed, blocking out the outside world.

It took several moments for you to be brought back to reality, spots of light still dancing in your vision whenever you blinked. Your chest heaved from exertion, your eyes watery. Your body felt incredibly light, like you could float away from the ground at any moment like a hot air balloon.

“____?” Someone repeated your name, trying to snap you out of your daze by shaking your shoulders. “Here’s some water.” A set of arms helped you sit up, and a cold glass of water was pushed into your numbed hands. “You did so well! There was no reason to be nervous, I knew you would do great.”

Belatedly, you realized that it was your agent speaking to you. He wrapped your shoulders in a pink, fluffy bathrobe—the soft fabric a welcome comfort. Seokjin showered you in praises, asking if you need anything more, but his voice faded into white noise. Your eyes flitted around the room, restless, searching.

As if feeling the weight of your gaze on him, Yoongi looked up from his phone and smiled at you. Even if his cheeks were flushed pink and his hair matted with sweat, he looked infinitely more composed than you felt. Biting the inside of your cheek, you wondered how you could possibly approach him.

A faint buzzing pulled you from your train of thought. When you looked down, you saw a message light up the screen of your phone. Your thumb swiped the surface so that the newest message could fill up the entire screen.

[unknown number] : hey. i cant wait to work with you again ;-)

[edit: short continuation.]

Although your body was thoroughly sated, there was still an eagerness that hadn’t been completely quashed. You were still drunk off your high, your body now hooked to Yoongi’s touch. You wanted a repeat. Badly.

After the initial swell of elation had ebbed, you steadied your trembling fingers to type out a hurried reply. Thank God for autocorrect was your first coherent thought. You weren’t sure if your inability to spell the simplest of words was because of your stubby thumbs or because Yoongi had fucked every last feeling out of your body, leaving you numb all over. Did it even matter? The end result was the same, either way.

A minute passed. Your thumbs stumbled across the keyboard in your rushed attempt to correctly type out your response. It took another two tries before you finally succeeded in writing a message that was 1) free of spelling mistakes and 2) simultaneously made your intentions obvious (a flirtatious winky face included for good measure). However right before you were about to hit ‘send’, a new set of vibrations put a halt to your actions.

[unknown number] : i’m jimin btw. :) the 2nd AC.

What?

[unknown number] : you look really pretty on camera :)

[unknown number] : and in real life too! not just on camera.

[unknown number] : sorry if i sound so forward. but it’s been a long time sinc—

Your brain screeched to a halt as more messages flooded in, one right after the other.

Jimin…the second assistant cameraman?

(edit added 12.08)

ɛ sequel here ! ᴈ

#legit not proofread bc i cant look at it anymore dkfljdfk #this was originally supposed to be 6k but idk what happened mY HAND SLIPPED #this is.............#just filth lmao #i have no excuses #bts smut #yoongi smut #yoongi

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