#John Ratz

[gvtted-ratz]

List of Fics/Drabbles/Headcanons We Made (all links go to our ao3)

Works: 25

@gvtted-ratz is the main writer and owner of the ao3

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Homestuck:

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Correct Ending - John Doe/M!It/Its!Reader (complete)

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Feel free to send in some requests. Or just brainstorm in our box. We are happy to listen and try out sometimes. If we're uncomfy with something, we'll tell you.

Edit: Usually, we use it/its if it’s self-indulgent, since we're a dude who uses them and we have never seen them in fics. We make sure to put that in the tags if those pronouns are used.

[liz-has-no-life]

15 Questions, but Whom should I tag?

I was tagged by @copperexception and @k00kiecrumbler !

Nicknames: ass john is the only nickname I can think of right now

Height: 170 cm/5’7

Last thing I googled: besides “170 cm in feet”, I googled Ferrari (2023) because I’ve recently watched that Lamborghini movie and then I found out Michael Mann is directing a similar one but with Ferrari (I’m very excited for this because he directed one of my favorite movies, Collateral)

Song stuck in my head: “all the things she said” by t.A.T.u (where did this come from and why is it stuck in my head ??)

Numbers of followers: 113

Amount of sleep: around 8 all the time

My dream job: no idea tbh

Wearing: t shirt and sweatpants

Book/Movie that summarize me: any Ryan Gosling movie (he’s literally me) (joking)

Favorite Song: I don’t think I have a favorite song atm but a song I’ve liked for years is To my enemies by Saint Motel

Aesthetic: I don’t think I have an aesthetic ?

Favorite Author: I do love reading but I don’t have a favorite author :(

Fun fact: uhhh I swear I’m a fun guy but I simply cannot think of any fun fact about myself-

tags: anyone can join but here I’ll tag someone: @my-chemical-ratz and @1dkreally (no pressure I just felt bad leaving the tag thing empty)

[jarsfullofstarrs]

thank you for the tag @lacyohlacyyy <33

five songs ive been obsessed with lately:

1. the long and winding road - the beatles (ive been trying to find this ONE take of it with george on the guitar that i heard on a documentary)

2. happiness is a warm gun - the beatles

3. long long long - the beatles

4. all things must pass - george harrison

5. working class hero - john lennon

tagging @bratz-ratz & @crackerboxpal no pressure :) <3

five songs i've been obsessed with lately!

thank you so much for the tag @pfhwrittes ily 💖💖

1. Blue Jeans (Gesaffelstein Remix) - Lana Del Rey

2. Angel - NewDad

3. Go - Meg Myers

4. Save Me - Vintage Culture & Adam K Feat. MKLA

5. Jealousy - Pale Waves

no pressure tags 💖: @stellewriites @kyletogaz @eiraeths @forsaire @honestlyhiswife

[buttonpoetry]

I’ve watched my sister lose so much, all of my sacrifices feel small.

John Ratz, “Dad and I Return to the Disease”

[thereplacementnotebook]

We live in a time of miracles. Medicine is the science of forcing your body to work whether it wants to or not. It is forcing you, the body, to bow down to you, the mind, because the brain is the only organ that is afraid of dying.

John Ratz

[omnybus]

Pixar should open its own hamburger restaurant with Remy the rat as its mascot, and call it “John’s Ratz n’ Burgers”

[sapphickaliprasad-blog]

Wasn’t He Recently Elected As President?

Anticipation ran high as the clock ticked closer to midnight on Water Street in St. John’s. Home-owners invest in high intensity strobing light machines not only to deter rats, but other rodents as well, like squirrels. I like to keep our spending in check anyway, and it’s not hard to scan and email bills. Can anyone tell me how to block up the holes, and keep them from eating the door? Policy provisions, benefit restrictions, and reinsurance can be used to help alleviate problems to the extent they exist. The credit cannot exceed the taxable disability benefit actually received. A problem for the employer is how to verify an employee's disability. No Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) filing and reporting requirement as long as the master contract is issued to a trust and as long as there are no employer contributions for the cost of coverage. 37. Submit syndromic surveillance data - The Stage 1 menu set requirement was a single transaction. 22. Patient specific educational resources - Stage 1 requires this for 10% of patients. 1500 (whichever is less) per year with prior approval from supervisor and human resources for job related courses. In a disaster, they'll look to you and other adults for help. Illicit online pharmacies are a growing global public health concern. Canadian Pharmacies are almost synonymous for online pharmacies. Two daily flights from Miami to Port of Spain are available on American Airlines. There are dealers for nearly all Japanese and Korean brands and an increasing number of European models. While employers expect employees to miss a few days of work from time to time, online pharmacies canada there is often a tendency to underestimate both the frequency and severity of disabilities that last for longer periods. I kept our dog in our bedroom with closed door while we slept so we could put a few open area traps out at night. Most of the time she was here, I had very few ratz. With the cryptocurrency market being so volatile, it’s not uncommon to hear about massive gains over a short period of time. Most of us have sold something online at some point, but it’s seller beware. Then, when they have needs, they first must meet an “annual unshared amount” (similar to a deductible) before their expenses are eligible for sharing. OSHA has not added these types of conditions to the first aid list because the list includes treatments rather than conditions. If a chiropractor provides observation, counseling, diagnostic procedures, or first aid procedures for a work-related injury or illness, the case would not be recordable. These treatments will be considered first aid whether they are provided by a lay person or a licensed health care professional. Did the person have any money at home to be stolen? Counseling may be provided on a short-term basis by either a licensed health care professional or an unlicensed person with limited training. We liked what we saw with the medical cost sharing model instead. Whenever you attain pain medicine given by an internet drugstore, you don't get to pay any additional cost which is generally charged by the physician/doctor for getting you a prescription. How did steroids get contaminated? For years, and especially more so since about 2006, there has been a major surge in emailed spam for so-called 'Canadian Pharmacies'. This is quite challenging because there are many factors that can affect the BG. This undigested fat can then pass naturally through your body and leave via bowel movements. Drip up to to 4-5 drops on a cotton ball, then place it in those spots where rats appear more often. Rats are attracted to dog poo. Does peppermint oil repel rats? As Governor, I will work with school districts to make this a reality for more teachers, and will work with the legislature to incentivize districts to provide affordable childcare before and after the bell. Packages over 2 Kilos usually take 4 weeks or more. One lady had cautions introduced on the entryways of her home to alarm her family in the event that she endeavored to go out while dozing. Trinidad and Tobago's agricultural sector is still dominated by sugar, which was introduced in colonial times. Some other clubs include the Horticultural Society, Trinidad and Tobago German Club, the Orchid Society, the Field Naturalists Society, Living Waters Christian Community, an informal Jewish community, and other groups. Trinidad has no school bus system. A judicial system which has a Court of Appeals as its highest level in the country. Click here to see a sample list from one of our many suppliers.

[gvtted-ratz]

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Romantic Dreams

Karkat Vantas x Dave Strider

Last Edited: 08/09/2024

TW: Foul Language

Drabble Prompt: A drabble maybe? Maybe a tiny bit of touching? Where Dave explains that a fist-bump is not declaring they become mates. But Karkat really, really does want to have him fill that matesprite quadrant. And then forces him to sit down and watch some god-damn troll films.

Word Count: 560

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes from gvtted-ratz (writer/creator): Title is from the song Romantic Dreams by Deftones. Can you tell we heavily enjoy Deftones? They inspire us and keep up afloat with their songs. Hope you enjoy the prompt for these two. This was supposed to only be a maximum of 500 words.

Notes from @rppik (editor/co-writer): in which watching a movie with bae is meant to be educational

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SHIT, FUCK ASS. IS YOUR FUCKING PUZZLE SPONGE ROTTING INSIDE YOUR NUGBONE?” Dave stares at Karkat in silence, listening to his moirail’s words. His arms flail around as he talks in his yelling-but-not-really way. The Texan just lowers his shades a miniscule amount to show the mutant-blood that he’s listening but finding Karkat’s words “uncool.”

“Karbro, how is a fist bump connected to getting down and dirty?” Dave’s freckle-speckled arms cross over his chest, his expression ever unchanging. If it was physically possible for trolls, Dave is sure Karkat would burst a few blood vessels in rage.

“HAVE YOU NOT SEEN ANY OF THE FUCKING MOVIES I RECOMMENDED YOU? THEY CLEARLY EXPLAIN WHY BUMPING PRONGS IS JUST ANOTHER FUCKING WAY TO LINK POINT STUBS. YOU’RE PRACTICALLY DECLARING YOU WANT TO FILL MY MATESPRITESHIP QUADRANT.” Karkat’s cheeks darken a bit at his last sentence before he turns away to click away on his husktop.

The way Karkat speaks tends to make Dave think slowly over his words, placing his own vocabulary in the areas that make no sense; no one ever said he didn’t have some critical thinking and couldn't piece things together from the context clues in any given text— that includes Karkat’s wall of words.

“How can I sit and watch all that when there’s more bulge and nooks in there than one of Bro’s smuppet films,” the Texan argues, earning him a grossed-out look from Karkat. It makes Dave backtrack a little bit, a small dust of pink dancing over his ears. “I mean… C’mon… There’s just so much sexual stuff that I really don’t want to see it. Not like I‘ve seen a smuppet film. John thought it was a good idea to check out Bro’s stuff, is all… And I heard some things. Wasn’t very cool of him to pry,” the last part is said a bit quieter as he starts to shut down at the thought of his Bro.

“WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU FUCKING SAY SOME SHIT EARLIER, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. I COULD HAVE FOUND YOU SOME OTHER MATERIAL THAT DOESN’T FOCUS ON THE SEX PART,” the troll looks a little hurt at Dave’s words. They were in a moirailegiance for a reason, and to see his moirail not want to disclose something that made him uncomfortable disquieted the mutant-blood.

“Didn’t want to ruin your snappy mood. You know how it is, Karbro,” Dave’s earlier unease seems to disappear as he gets his “Strider Mask” in place; Striders are too cool for emotions, so it’s best to keep that mask on to remain composed.

“YEAH, SURE. WHATEVER YOU FUCKING SAY. NOW SIT YOUR SPINAL CREVICE DOWN. I’LL PUT ON ONE THAT DOESN’T HAVE ALL THE SEX SHIT YOU HATE.” Karkart starts to rummage around in one of his many bins of collected movies. The Texan’s stature seems to loosen up at his friend’s words, sitting down on the couch.

“As long as its title isn’t stupid,” Dave teases, watching Karkat immediately snap his head towards him at the jab.

“YOUR HUMAN MOVIE TITLES ARE STUPID. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT GOES ON WITH JUST A TITLE CALLED JOHN WICK? THAT EXPLAINS NOTHING.” Dave lets the troll’s rant wash over him, having riled Karkat up to let his passion for romcom-based films drown out any negative emotions the Strider felt previously.

[don-lichterman]

Food security, Moldova in focus at G7 foreign minister meeting | U.S. & World

Food security, Moldova in focus at G7 foreign minister meeting | U.S. & World

By Alexander Ratz and John Irish WEISSENHAUS, Germany (Reuters) – Foreign ministers from the G7 group of rich nations will discuss how to alleviate food security concerns when they meet in Germany on Friday as fears mount that the war between Russia and Ukraine could further destabilise Moldova. The annual meeting running until Saturday brings together top diplomats from Britain, Canada, Germany,…

[jarsfullofstarrs]

thank you for the tag :D @taurus-spacecraft <33

guess which band is my favourite (level impossible ‼️‼️)

tagging @bratz-ratz @lacyohlacyyy @m8tchalatte & @crackerboxpal no pressure ofc + anyone who wants to join :)

tag game: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most

I was tagged by @poneystoney and I'm tagging @chrysochromulina @itbe1964 @harlequinhovers @balladofsallyrose @rodeoromeo and @desertsquiet + anyone who wants to join in

[finalvlog-a]

i heard this rumor that you like john seed. - anon.

@gcdsaved  // [ always accepting asks ]

    This is the first time he’s heard from John Seed sincehe managed to escape. It had been precarious and a lot of people were dead in a tunnel because of him, but he hadbeen doing his best to try and make up for their deaths by causing havoc in HOLLAND VALLEY. To say he was startled by the sudden voice of his former tormentor would be putting it mildly. He jumps, body lifting off the driver’s seatbriefly before his hand darts out to pick up the walkie-talkie so he can stareat it. Was that really John Seed hejust heard? And had he actually saidthat – with a ‘signed’ sender and everything? No, maybe? He knows he shouldn’ttake the bait. Alex knows he shouldn’trise to the taunting tone of voice that crackles through the walkie-talkie. Inspite of knowing all this he can’t help but hold tighter the small device he’dbeen given by the good people of Fall’s End and swipe his thumb over the pushto talk button.

    “That’s – that’snot how the internet works anymoreyou know. Even if it did, that’s nothow it works on walkie-talkies. How long have you been without actual access to technology?”

    More importantly, who else might have overheard that?Alex spares a quick look at the knob to see what channel he’s on. Not the usualfor the resistance, and he realizes it must’ve gotten turned to the wrong onesometime between his drive from the town to a river where he’d gotten rid ofthe Bliss barrels they’d scouted out earlier that day. Did John Seed know he had a walkie-talkie now?

    Alex looks around where he’s parked in the truck,paranoia ramping up. Did John know where he was; that he had a walkie-talkie and what channel it was on? Okay no thatwas crazy. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that maybe he was dreaming because there was no way he’djust heard that over the walkie-fucking-talkie.Nonetheless he does a full swivel in his seat, checking every possible anglebefore he presses the button for a second time.

    “Also that rumoris bull. Im hayu samim et hamo'ach shelcha b'tarnegol, hu haya ratz yasharl'shochet.” Not wanting to give John the chance to get in afinal say he grasps the channel knob between his thumb and forefinger andtwists it back to the right channel. He then sets it in the cup holder of thetruck and runs his hands over his face. It might not be a bad idea to driveback to Fall’s End and hole up in the church for a little while. Not because John Seed scared him.

    Maybe he did a little,

    BUT he would rather be somewhere he felt safethan isolated and alone. John Seed’s voice, even when saying such bullshitmanaged to worm under his skin and leech into his veins. The cold fear had a straightshot to his heart that thudded heavy in his chest.

   He wouldn’t go back.

[hmratking]

Introducing: Rabbit

(Continued from HERE)

“Welcome to the Kingdom,” the undead said.

The large bull walked cautiously behind the Flea. His blue eyes gazed at the hungry-stricken creatures who were staring at him from behind buildings and along the side of the path. “Um…why…why are they looking at me as if I were their next meal?” Lighthoof asked the Flea.

With a chuckle, the undead said, “Well, you very well could be, but that depends on whether you impress the right people or not.” He waggled a finger and smiled. “The last few chefs I’ve brought home didn’t quite make it, and considering your build, well, you can feed a large amount of Ratz if things go sour for you.”

“Ratz?” Lighthoof mumbled and he turned to look at some of the creatures looking at him. They looked like skeletal creatures ready to attack and yet, they were waiting for something: a sign, a signal, something. The continued walking to the end of the small village where a large building sat. A blonde man stood at the top of the stone steps accompanied by a tall night elf with short violet hair and a pale elf with rose gold hair. She clung to the man possessively and whispered something to him as they approached him. The man smiled and chuckled before he moved away from the woman.

“What is this?” the blonde man asked loudly.

The undead bowed and said, “This is our new cook.” He smiled and slowly turned back to Lighthoof. “You can cook, right?” he asked in a softer voice.

Lighthoof blinked at the Flea and shook his head. ‘Yes… Yea I can. I mean, I think I can.” The Flea sighed and nodded.

“You can read, right?” he asked. The tauren nodded and the Flea turned back. “Our new cook,” he said loudly to be heard.

“Then make us something.” The Flea bowed his head and began to lead Lighthoof away from the steps. “And Flea, if he poisons me, my Doll will kill you. No, really.” He chuckled a bit and the blonde female elf quietly mouthed a no before winking at the Flea. However, the undead was aware how his ruler worked, so he had to make sure Lighthoof was going to do his very best.

“I have some cookbooks,” the Flea said as he led Lighthoof to a building. The doorway was slim and his large tauren frame was not going to make it past the front. The Flea sighed and shook his head. “Just…break through. It’ll make you look good. I promise.” Lighthoof looked back at the blonde man and then rammed through the doorway, breaking it, debris falling all around him. “Well then,” the Flea said, smiling, “let’s see what ingredients we have.” They both walked into the building and the Flea looked in a half-frozen icebox. He grumbled. “I haven’t eaten in years, but this doesn’t look appealing.”

Lighthoof looked inside and pulled out wet vegetables and a piece of meat. “It’s salvageable.” He took the ingredients to a table and took the cleaver that was already deep in the wood. “So, who is that guy?”

The Flea laughed softly. “That ‘guy’ is the Rat King; your new owner. The one who will eat tonight. Now, what will he be eating, I don’t know yet.”

“I’m making a simple stew.”

“Cute, but I meant, will he be eating the stew or you?” The tauren stopped and stared at the Flea, who only smiled at him. “A lot of the ingredients you add to your red stew come from the King himself.”

Lighthoof returned to his work and simply said, “Ah.” He looked at the piece of meat began to chop it. He mixed the meat with the vegetables into a pot with water. Seasoning it and stirring while the Flea waited, Lighthoof wondered if this would be impressive for this so-called Rat King fellow. After an hour passed, he nodded and looked at the Flea. The stew was done.

The Flea led Lighthoof as he held the small bowl of stew. The bowl was minute within the tauren’s hands and he was grateful to be light on his hooves to avoid spilling the stew. They approached the Rat King, who was sitting on the steps to his home, and the other Ratz surrounded them, curious as to what fate was in store for the tauren.

The tauren cautiously approached the steps and gave the bowl to the Rat King, who grinned wickedly at the man. Lighthoof cautiously took a step back, but he felt the Flea’s hand on his arm, so he stopped moving.

“What’s in this shit?” the King called out as he poked at the stew with the spoon.

“Vegetables. Rabbit meat.”

Sarinna had her arms ready in case she had to kill the tauren while Mora watched eagerly, as well as hungrily. The King ignored the spoon in the bowl and slurped from the side of the bowl. He stared at the stew and then his eyes slowly glanced up to the tauren.

He suddenly began to cough and Sarinna’s gun was suddenly pointed at the tauren. Lighthoof’s eyes widened and the Flea was the only one who didn’t react. The coughing turned into laughter and the King slapped his lap. “You almost died!” the King yelled. He passed the bowl over to Mora, who cautiously looked at it, slowly reaching for the spoon. She took a bite and she smiled, continuing to devour the meal. Sarinna put her gun away and the King looked at her. “He will make more, my pet.”

Lighthoof looked at the Flea and the undead man smiled at him. “You’re in.”

“What’s his name?” the King called out, leaning his elbows on his knees.

With a nudge from the undead, the tauren said, “Lighthoof.”

“Hmm…Rabbit. That’s what we’ll call you.”

The tauren grimaced and asked, “If I had served you minnow, you would have called me Minnow?”

“No, I would have called you Fish. Mark him. He will be cooking for the entire village.” He turned to Mora and caressed her face. “He will feed my Doll.” He gestured for them to leave and the tauren looked around as the Ratz stared at him.

“Why are they looking at me like that?” he asked.

“Aside from the King and his queen, you are the next most loved creature in this village.” The Flea chuckled. “You’re going to feed them.” Lighthoof looked around and gulped. He returned to the place where he had cooked and the Flea clapped his hands together. “Very well. Your room will be that one over there. We’ll get you…something to sleep on. I put your stick and your blanket over there. FIx this place the way you would like. If you need anything, more chairs, tables, utensils, let me know and we’ll get them for you. Don’t fail. Never fail.” He snapped his fingers and stepped outside for a moment. Lighthoof looked around and smiled a bit. This might actually be a good thing, he thought to himself. Then, the Flea walked in with a piece of iron in his hands. Lighthoof stared for a moment.

“What’s that?”

“He did say mark you. I’ll let you decide. Where do you want your mark? Be glad it’s me and not him.”

Lighthoof pointed to his upper arm and the Flea threw the piece of iron onto the fire. “It’s the mark we all get when we belong to the Kingdom. It means you’re protected. Remember that. We take care of each other. We’re family.” He grabbed the rod and pulled the iron from the fire. “Alright, give me your arm.” The undead grinned as he pressed the bright orange iron on the tauren’s arm. Lighthoof’s jaw tightened as did his eyes, and grunted. When the Flea pulled his arm back, Lighthoof opened his eyes and turned to look at his arm and the R imprinted on it.

“Welcome, Rabbit,” the Flea said, swinging the iron rod over his shoulder.

Lighthoof tried not to move his arm as he looked around the place. For a moment, he was happy. He didn’t know what to expect, but he did know that he was important in this so-called kingdom. He walked toward his father’s staff and he closed his eyes as he held it close to his heart.

And Rabbit was born into the Kingdom.

fc: John Bradley (voice and likeness)

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Police Court News - Gets Three Months,” Toronto Star. October 18, 1937. Page 37. ---- ‘He is a petty thief, but he is a gradually getting up in the big stuff.’ declared crown counsel as William McCullough pleaded guilty to stealing a bicycle. ‘He was convicted of stealing a horse collar earlier this year.’

An officer stated accused had been stopped while pushing a bicycle along the street. When questioned he gave a variety of stories as to where he got it, the officer stated. ‘He had been drinking,’ he added.

Three months in jail was the sentence.

Bound to Keep Peace His face covered with cuts and bruises with one eye badly blackened, Tony Sukely was charged with threatening.

Peter Yurrick told the court that after an argument, Sukely pulled a knife and said ‘you are going to die to-night.’

‘You are 40 pounds heavier, you beat him up unmercifully and then run to the police station to lay a charge,’ declared Defence Counsel T. B. Horkins. ‘You were told previously to keep away from him,’ he stated.

Sukely, who did not give evidence, was bound over in the sum of $200 to keep the peace for six months.

Anton Ratz, Sudbury, was remanded for sentence on a charge of obtaining by fraud one bicycle and parts on Sept. 9 from George Middleton. According to complainant, Ratz had obtained a bicycle at his Yonge Street shop and had given him a cheque which was not honored by the bank.

Peter Smith and J. E. Stewart, who appeared before Magistrate Jones with bandages on their heads, were remanded until Oct. 25 in $1,000 bail each on two charges of stealing auto markers.

Young Shopbreakers Two youths, Douglas Sidey and Arthur Le Feuvre, pleaded guilty in No. 1 police court to six charges each, of shopbreaking, and one of housebreaking.

They admitted breaking into a store at 1195 Queen St. E. and removing 23c in coppers; another store at 1378 Queen St. E. for the purpose of theft; a third shop at 329 1/2 Coxwell Ave., from which they removed a quantity of postage stamps; another at 234 Jones Ave., where they admitted stealing $11 cash; a fifth of 196 Coxwell Ave., which netted them $38; and another at 1263 Queen St. E., from which they took $10 in money. They admitted breaking into a house at 5 Brookline Ave.

They were remanded to Oct. 26 for sentence while inquiry is made into their circumstances.

John Lake, Jack Yates, and Robert Halyday, all under 20, pleaded guilty to breaking into a store at 329 1/2 Coxwell Ave., and removing a quantity of postage stamps. It was the same store allegedly entered by the two previous prisoners. They were remanded to Oct. 26 for sentence, pending inquiry.

David French and Herbert Burden were remanded to the same date for sentence when they pleaded guilty to theft of a number bicycles. French faced seven charges and Burden five.

According to Magistrate Jones, inquiry will be made before sentence is pronounced.

Stole Soup, 6 Months ‘Six months. That will keep him to till summer time; the good old summer time,’ ruled Magistrate Jones, after finding John J. Sullivan guilty of theft of 18 cans of soup.

Evidence was that Sullivan went to the docks and spying several cases of soup, broke open one and helped himself.

‘Was he drunk?’ asked his worship of the arrested officer. ‘Yes, your worship,’ he replied. ‘Not drunk on soup,’ smiled Mr. Jones.

After citing a few convictions, Crown Counsel Forsyth stated it was unnecessary to ‘go over the whole list.’

Albert Douglas was charged with theft of two suitcases and a quantity of clothing. His counsel, E. J. Murphy, reserved his plea until he had heard the facts. ‘It was only a sweethearts’ row,’ he said. Douglas was said to have removed the allegedly stolen articles from a girl’s house on October 10.

A witness swore that the clothing belonged to him, when it was placed in a heap, before him. ‘What do your wear this for?’ asked Mr. Murphy, tossing a fur neck-piece to the witness who retracted his former statement and said they belonged, not to him, but to a friend of his, a girl.

‘There was keen competition for this lady. When the things were taken, Douglas entered the house in company with her brother. It was only a sweethearts’ row, wasn’t it?’ asked Mr. Murphy. Witness nodded affirmation. ‘Don’t nod your head, it’s rattle,’ remonstrated Mr. Murphy. ‘Tell the court.’

‘I’ll mark it off,’ said Magistrate Jones when the articles were handed back to the complainant.

[mayflydecember]

THAT AD RIGHT BEFORE THE TOY BOX WAS SO CONFUSING WHAT ON EARTH

ive managed to avoid all of the khiii spoilers for two years (aside from some vague "i hate the ending" stuff from a couple friends) so im sitting here going OMG SORA GETS A PHONE OMG RATATOUILLE IS HERE OMG

[pinkuboa]

I need to make a game of the year list since I kinda position my blog as a sorta games news site. But let's see your top games of this year let's gooooo

;asdlfkjfldj

Did I play any new games this year??? I guess I did.  These are all the games I can remember playing this year.  I barely have any RPG Maker games since I haven’t really played many things this year in general, so LET’S TRY AND DO THIS (note: this is half assed and hardly serious, although I did enjoy almost all of these games)

Pinkuboa’s (somewhat real but not really) GOTY List in no particular order aside from 1 which is the best ever:

6 - Cuphead

A great game that’s tightly planed and wonderfully executed.  I was looking forward to this one all the way back in 2013-2014 when I heard it announced, and my goodness it doesn’t disappoint.  I love how unique each boss battle is and can’t help but love every bit of playing the game, even the frustration is the kind of frustration I like.  The details in the sound design are amazing and I love how each boss battle’s theme has unique solos that play out randomly via variables, and I hope more games do cool thing with music like that in the future.  

It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t already been said about this game already, but it really is that good and deserves all the complements it gets. :)

uh shit that’s the only new game i played that came out this year uhhhhh 

5 -  Sonic Adventure 2 & Sonic Adventure DX

I played both of these games this year so it counts.i’m trying ok

  SA2 is still as terrible but fun as I remember it and SA1 is fucking terrifying with it’s mouth movements but the controls suck less than SA2 amazingly enough. 

This game’s graphics aged like fine wine i tell you (with the cork left off).

Both are fun platformers that get hard at the end because sonic hates you and wants you to die, but are still worth playing in my eyes since SA2 is one of those nostalgic games I grew up with. These are both the kind of messes I love and i’m glad they were ported to steam and killed me.

4 - Red Dead Redemption

You play as a cowboy named John Marston who runs around in the desert solving problems, punching people, shooting people, riding horses off cliffs, and getting mauled by cougars

there’s a glitch in the game where you can summon a near endless wave of bears, one of the hardest enemies in the game, once you kill one of them.  One player reported killing 25 bears in one go.

I failed a mission because I decided to run my horse off a cliff and it said “Mission Failed: Your Horse Died” and I couldn’t stop laughing.

The first time I got attacked by a cougar there was a comical cougar noise, and John Marston fell to the ground near-ragdoll like and very casually said, “Damn, I hate these things!” like getting mauled by a murder machine was just a common annoyance here in the desert of New Austin.  I wasn’t able to kill the Cougar unfortunately because my weapon on the weapons wheel was set to “Fist” instead of “any other gun” and it was super funny when he died.

i need more games like this in my life

3 - Stardew Valley

I put 100 hours on this game in a single week what the fuck is wrong with me

2 - Bad Ratz

This game makes me want to wipe out Kongragate and Steam at the same time 10/10

ban sidescrolling physics games 2018

1 - The Entirety of Dream Diary Jam

FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

BONUS Quick list of the worst games I played this year: Neko Para 2 (”thanks” Ebeth), Cat in the Hat (GBA on a dare), Dark Elf (Fuck you @ralphrius)

[buttonpoetry]

There’s no way I would let her die, but I wonder how far I would go to force her to live.

John Ratz, "Love in a Time of Desperation"

Congratulations to John Ratz on topping 100,000 views on this remarkable poem!