#Jesus I'm not mentally prepared for this movie at all

[r-i-03-17]

Hey everybody, I'm back. Sorry for not being on for a bit, but I wasn't really sure what to write, since my writing isn't THAT good, and I can look back at my other Yaz and Sammy headcanons and cringe, it's taken me a lil bit to figure out exactly what to write. But either way, I hope you guys enjoyed my other headcanons, and I hope you enjoy this one. Peace out, see y'all later 🙂. (WARNING: If you're not aware some of my headcanons/stories have more "mature" elements, nothing blatantly NSFW, but definitely implied things, so if that's something your fine with, then be free to enjoy, I'll always give a warning when my posts have "implied" elements, like this one does.)

It was their daughter's 4th birthday, and Yaz and Sammy had spent the entire morning preparing. They've had other parties sure, but this one was special, they had a surprise for their daughter that was sure to make this one of her best birthdays yet.

Sammy was making the food, humming to herself while sunlight beamed through the window above the oven. She took a deep inhale and exhaled out happily. She was happy with herself, she had a family, her daughter, her wife, her friends, and her dog. After the car accident she had right before her child was born messed up her hip pretty bad, so she couldn't move as fast as she used to, but that was ok . Yaz's job helped financially cover what the farm couldn't, she worked long hours and was always so helpful. When Sammy had to do physical therapy, when she had surgery, Yaz was always right there, helping her, helping get to the shower when she had a hard time walking, giving her cuddles when she was in pain, and always making her food when she felt too sick to make any herself, and Sammy appreciated it, probably more than she could ever express.

Speaking of, Yazmina was outside cutting up firewood for a fire they were going to have when it got dark, she was about twenty feet away, axe in hand, and a decent pile of wood already stacked. She was wearing a white tank top, exposing her six pack, that was gleaming with sweat from the hot sun. Yaz's jet black hair was hanging down over her shoulders, while she dumped a bottle of water over her head and on her tan arms to cool off. She didn't notice Sammy staring out the window, watching her like a teenager staring at her crush, thinking to herself how lucky she was, that not only did she have an amazing life with an amazing wife, but also that wife happened to be super hot, literally and figuratively, she made a mental note to herself to bring her out a a new bottle of water once she put her pie in the oven that she was making. Sammy felt a hand grab her shoulder and it made her jump, when she flipped around, Brooklyn was standing there, a birthday card in her hands.

S: Jesus Brook, don't sneak up on someone like that, you just about gave me a heart attack.

B: Sorry Sammy, didn't mean to interrupt you checking out your wife 😏.

S: 😳. I wasn't.....I didn't....I was just....

B: 😏😏.

S: 😑.

Brooklyn laughed, she loved teasing Sammy about that kinda stuff, even after all these years, she still gets super flustered, it didn't bother Yaz at all when she teased her, so Brooks main target was usually Sammy.

Brooklyn opened the window, and yelled out to Yaz.

B: Hey Yazmina, you didn't notice your wife checking you out? She's been staring at you for the past 10 minutes.

Y: 😏. Good, means I must be doing something right 😉.

Sammy blushed while Yaz and Brooklyn started laughing, to be completely honest Sammy never minded the teasing or anything like that, if anything she loved it. In some weird way it made her feel all bubbly and happy inside, like she felt when the first started dating. Whenever Yaz grabbed her by the hips and lifted her up to kiss her, or when they would just lay on a couch late at night watching a movie, or when they would sit on the front porch swing with Koda (Sammy's Rottweiler) after they put their daughter to bed, talking about their days, and when they their friends we're going to visit again.

Suddenly Darius, Kenji, and Ben pulled up the driveway with a big trailer towing behind them. Sammy called their daughter downstairs and revealed the surprise to her, her very own Shetland Pony, named Tucker. Yaz and Sammy's daughter loved him, hugged her parents, and led her new horse to the barn. As the two of them looked on, Sammy's head resting on Yaz's shoulder, they both thought to themselves " I'm so lucky".

Ok guys I hope you enjoyed this one, idk when I'll make another, but I probably will eventually.

[treevore]

tag game!!

tagged by my darling @pregnancykink

Do you make your bed? i'll at least straighten it out, in large part because my cat loves sleeping on the bed and she prefers when it's made

What's your favorite number? multiples of 5 always make my brain go brrrr but also for some reason i really like the number 37

What is your job? i hang out with animals

If you could go back to school, would you? like college yeah maybe if i could afford it without it being a financial stressor sort of thing lmfao

Can you parallel park? yuuuup, i don't have to do it very often but i can absolutely do it

A job you had that would surprise people? i legit worked at a mine, doing gold mining stuff (preparing/photoing core samples, printing sample bags, weeding the core warehouse)

Do you think aliens are real? oh absolutely. with the size of the universe being what it is, there is no doubt in my mind that there are living beings elsewhere

Can you drive a manual car? yeeeeee, i've got a little '81 toyota sr5

What's your guilty pleasure? as prev said, i do not feel guilty about pleasure

Tattoos? i've got 10 i love getting tattooed

Favorite color? greens, but specifically very yellow-grey leaning greens, i like the swampy dusty colors

Favorite type of music? see, the thing is i kinda listen to everything/i don't really delineate by genre??? and my favorite changes by season because i'm really out here going based on the vibes. recently it's been a lot of the pop-punk i listened to in high school tho so like mid-late '00s pop punk but i listen to a lot of metal and ambient and pop and hip hop, it's more "does it fuck?"

Do you like puzzles? i do, and like p much all of them i love games that are really puzzle based especially

Any phobias? yea for sure but i'm not going to list them here though where somebody can use them against me lol (spike im just keeping ur answer bc same)

Favorite childhood sport? i am deeply uncoordinated and unathletic and well i ended up playing golf in high school and that's about it. i was less a sports kid and more a going outside and being a gross menace kid

Do you talk to yourself? oh absolutely, on the regular

What movies do you adore? the way my brain screams ANNIHILATION every time this movie comes up lmfao, but some others are mandy, dinner in america, the mummy, the second lotr specifically, and jesus christ superstar which i do rewatch at least once every year. i like movies they're fun

Coffee or tea? generally more tea but that's because most roasts of coffee give me hellish stomach cramps and not a lot of places have white coffee which is the only one that consistently doesn't fuck my guts up something fierce

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a vet, but i am not mentally/emotionally strong enough for that and i am not nearly good enough at math to do all the sciences required lmfao ive just always really loved animals

for tagging i'll hit @rmilkies @wetusb @kennyyomega @ashes-acedia and @saltbind

[destinyc1020]

I will agree with that last anon about how we sometimes don’t even support our own and can do so much more. And we as audiences members are sometimes the root of the issue because we don’t put our support where our mouth is. There’s a weird thing where I’ve seen POC give a lot of grace and leeway to white mediocrity and hold impossible standards sometimes for our own. It’s disheartening when we’re the ones perpetuating the work twice as hard and get half as much motif ourselves. When it comes to both actors and even directors. Shows and films. We say we want one thing and then don’t even support it when it comes out. Shows like Saturdays and Swagger could’ve used the support. So many great films that no one is supporting but everyone is always talking about the same five film twitter films. Where’s the talk about Thousand and One, Rye Lane, All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt, They Cloned Tyrone, Rustin, Earth Mama to name a few. Last year we had Nanny, Master, Till, Honk for Jesus to also name a few. American Fiction came out this weekend. There’s been plenty of Black women directors making great films this year and last but no one talks about them the way they rave about Greta, Sofia or Emerald as if they’re the only women directors ever. Even the way we’re constantly talking about male actors like Timothee, JE or Austin and leaving out people like Jerome, Kelvin, Caleb to name a few. We can always do self checks on how we’re feeding into the vicious cycle and seek out works from Black actors and directors ourselves if we want more of it.

Yes, you've brought up some very good points Anon. 👏🏾👏🏾

This is so true!

Part of it is obviously of course because films with a predominant black cast are just seen as a "black movie" (unless, it's the MCU's "Black Panther" of course lol 😵‍💫).... We live in a very Eurocentric world unfortunately. So it's sad how we as poc always have to see ourselves in white-dominated films and are able to do so, but others can't do the same when it comes to black films. 😕

Another thing is just the fact that some films are smaller, and some people just don't watch indie/smaller films just in general.... black OR white. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Idk about others, but I know for me too that I have to be in a certain mindset and frame of mind in order to watch certain films.... especially if it deals with slavery, racial inequality, or the mistreatment of black people. 😔 It just hits so close to home sometimes, and it hurts my spirit, so I have to mentally prepare myself for those films to watch.

Sometimes, you just want to watch smthg lighthearted, you know? I already deal with racial injustice in my real life....I like movies to escape lol. So sometimes, it's just nice to watch smthg a little more lighthearted. Or, if it's going to address racial injustice, sometimes it's nice to see it presented in a way like "The Other Black Girl" (which I'm currently watching on Hulu 😊).

I like black filmmakers who can make films that aren't JUST about struggle in Black America... ykwim? Like, sometimes it's just nice to see a Sci-fi film with a predominantly black cast, or a horror film with a predominantly black cast, or a lighthearted comedy or adventure film, ykwim?

Anyway, very good points Anon 👍🏾

[iholli]

working through the ROTTMNT movie today and y'all I am. not ready to cry but I know I'm going to

spoilers in the tags bc I'm processing rn so far it's. a lot. my heart

[syubub]

BTS cuddle habits

Hi guys! I wanted to have a fun little silly read on what their cuddle habits are! It's cute and light and soft so I thought it might be nice!

Disclaimer: this is entertainment only and not to be taken as fact. This is only my interpretation!

Oki let's begin

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Seokjin

The first thing I thought of when I saw this is that he's not a strong grip cuddle kinda guy

He's more of the "if you're there and need cuddles I'll do it I guess" kinda guy

I think too he's very vigilant and whomever he is cuddling he is very aware of how to maximize the other person's comfort?

Like it almost seems for him, he'd be fine without cuddles

It's just not important to him as much as it is for others

But he knows that some people feel good when they get cuddles

So

All this to say

He doesn't preticularly seek out cuddles and prefers to be the one doing the cuddling

He knows that it's a way to give others comfort

It's definitely a low energy kinda thing for him too

I think any kinda pseudo cuddle would be preferable

Like, "I'm laying next to you and tapping your head, does that count"

Lol

It's a way to show comfort and to show that he's there for the person.

Definitely takes that time to learn more about why the person might be sad or in need of cuddles

It's a perfect time to talk it out

Definitely platonic cuddles wouldn't faze him at all

10/10

Very comforting

He'd give advice if needed or prompted

Wouldn't particularly tangle himself up with the other person

More like comforting "I'm here for you" back rubs and taps

Playing with hair

Yoongi

STOP

Yoongi no

Okay

So

He's definitely more cuddly with his s.o than he his with friends

His cuddle style is very balanced

Probably likes to mirror his cuddle buddy

So like, facing each other

Probably holding hands

Also spooning and he'd be down for little spoon or big spoon depending on how he's feeling

Let me get a bit honest here

Cuddling for yoon is like holding the entire world

Sounds dramatic lol

It's a super intimate thing to share personal space like that

Even more than sex for him because the only objective is comfort and holding space for him and his person

Kinda. Intimacy in any form that it takes is really special and intense for him when it regards someone he truly cares for

This is about cuddles and not about how yoongi regards the act of bumping uglies

So

Platonic cuddles are a little less... wanted for him

Not that he hates it or anything. He just likes his space and would actively search for platonic cuddles often if every (if he knew a more physically affectionate person really needed to be held and comforted he wouldn't mind providing that but its just not something he typically looks for)

Because the thought of sharing such close personal space with someone is quite.. daunting? He feels a bit flustered

This is all heavily focused on yoongi preferring to have his cuddles with the people that he has the utmost respect for and trusts with his life

Definitely most comfortable with a romantic partner though

Definitely would love to have his hair played with and would reciprocate the favor

When things get rough in his head I think he would prefer to be held

Or like

I heard "held together"

Oof yoobi

Overall it's seems to be an act of trust and love and respect and anyone who gets a yoongi cuddle should feel honored

You guys

Just look at this cards

I CANT

Hoseok

Yo

Hobi Is definitely an enthusiastic cuddle buddy

Probs prefers to hold the other person

Definitely loves platonic cuddles all the way

Very much physical affection

Also very light and fun and giggly

Like, yoons is a more emotionally heavy feel

But hobis is so light and fun and recharging

It's not the destination

Like its not an event to have cuddles for him

It's almost as natural and fluid as just going in for a hug?

It's a continuation of a hug

Hobi snuggles more than cuddles?

Like any burst of affection he just goes in for a snuggle squeeze

I think as a human his body temperature is just always warm too

Versatile cuddles

Kinda octopus-esque

Can be kinda like a quick little battery charge for him

A good solid hobi cuddle would be like transporting to a new world where there are no worries

Very nice and secure

Would probably like sunshine cuddles or outdoor cuddles (without bugs)

I think sometimes he just likes to share his space with other people

Very warm friendly lovely I love it

Namjoon

Joon

Joo

Bb

Soft

Talk about tension release lol

Cuddles for him aren't something he seeks out often but when he does...

It's like taking the cap off of a soda

Definitely a daydream type

Idk why but I think he cuddles himself? Like when he's super stressed

He probably hugs himself

Or maybe he has a weighted blanket?

He definitely has a calm way to sooth himself

But with other people

I think he likes more mellow, soft type cuddles

Definitely a repetitive movement type of person

Like gently tapping/patting or making shapes

I can't tell of he would like that or if that's what he does

Probably drifts to sleep if cuddling for a longer time lol

It's very seren and lovely energy tbh

A sleepy morning type of cuddle would probably help him calmly sort his thoughts and plans for the day

Just time to exist

Platonic cuddles y e s

Like I said, it wouldn't be something that I would see him searching for often at all

But its very helpful for him when he does

This makes me think of one time I went to a park with my friend

we found a nice patch of soft grass and had a nice little cuddle just existing in each others presence and feeling a nice soft breeze bring in the sweet summer smell

It was just kinda like time stopped and I could daydream and look at my priorities without feeling overwhelmed by them??

Like having a person physically with you to anchor you to reality and provide comfort

Idk it's just such a nice lovely type of thing that is really special when those moments come around

Jimin

Definitely loves cuddles

We know this

But this is really sweet

It's very emotionally fulfilling and I think it's an easy way for him to show his love and appreciation for someone

This sounds dumb but I think he physically tries to morph his body to other people?

Like cling film?

It's really cute?

Tbh any kinds of cuddle is a good cuddle for chim

I think physical touch just in general is really important for him

cuddles make him feel loved bc sometimes he needs to be reminded

Definitely will cuddle or be cuddled

With the 8 of wands I think he just kinda goes with the flow really

The ace of cups makes me almost see it as an exchange of energy?

Like swapping good vibes or recharging your good vibes

It's really sweet

I bet he'd be the type to make it a special event on occasion

Like all the blankets and pillows and a movie or book or album or something

And just be comfy

Comfy is the best way to describe this

Comfy

10000% platonic cuddles

No one is spared

(Some are spared)

It's not like he's attached to them or needs them to breath

But physical touch is really important for him

And this is very optimal

I also think he'd be the type to go for drive by cuddles?

The 8 of wands can be a fast card so

Quick cuddles

Little snuggles

V good

10/10

wouldn't mind face to face cuddles at all

THIS ALL JUST FEELS SO WARM AND NICE

like a freshly washed blanket that's all warm and smells nice

Yes

Taehyung

Jesus

It was hard enough trying to interpret normal cards and you throw me this shit??

Here we go

It's definitely a mental resting point to have some good cuddles

Tae can be quite a physical person too so it doesn't suprise me to see

It almost feels solitary?

But not physically obviously

Kinda like joon he really benefits from having a reality anchor

But

He might be physically resting

And his mind is resting too

But??

It's like he fucking Astral projects or some shit

Hear me out

It's like having a safe and comfortable environment being with someone you trust

He just kinda

Lifts up??

Like this might seem like daydreams to him but it's like... the Astral?

Lol definitely unexpected

It's not like this everytime

He benefits from cuddles when he is having a hard time and needs comfort

Also just because it's something that he finds relaxing

But like, let me explain

Death is like letting go of attachments

Four of swords can be like meditation

Wheel of fortune can be like opportunity or destiny?

And like, we all know tae has his angel and stuff

I think maybe his angel or guides or whatever take any opportunity where he is in a good enough state to just... yank him up to them??

THIS SOUNDS DUMB

But think about it

If he's comfortable and in a mental state where this is possible, it would be the perfect opportunity??

Like?

I want to expand on this later maybe

It doesn't exclusively happen when he's cuddling its just a time where his mind is open to it?

Also yes platonic cuddles yes yes yes

Wtf tae?

Jungkook

These are all the cards that came out and all of them are relevant apparently

So

Firstly let's look at that lovers card and the magician

He's definitely down for a good cuddle and it's a sign of trust for him

Having a nice restful time where he can idly chat with someone probably helps him work through situations in his head

The magician can signify a powerful man...

I think he really enjoys being held and like, holding people tightly

Like it feels more secure like that

Definitely a release of stress and worry

Probably prefers cuddles more in the evening after he's worked hard and done stuff bc then he feels like he's earned the right to relax

Definitely down for platonic cuddles but with people he knows super well

This might sound weird but

I bet if the chance to cuddle arrives and it's not a suprise like "hey come here and cuddle" kinda thing he'd prepare

Like if there was a movie night and he knows it's gonna be nice and comfy he'd probably wear his favorite hoodie or shirt or whatever and pjs or sweatpants or whatever

Whip out the nice body butter

Some good smells

Fresh fabric softener smells

In a 100% not creepy and very platonic way

That sounds sarcastic but its not

Its called self care

Would also be the type to seek out cuddles if he has a bad day

Like the kind to flop down beside someone or put his head in their lap and just non verbally demand cuddles?

Like, have you ever been super frustrated and you just need someone to pet your hair? Or like hold you bc your working out your own shit internally?

Yes

It probably doesn't happen often and not when something really big is bothering him

Just smaller things

Would like repetitive motions/soothing motions

The six of swords make me think soft rocking would put him directly to sleep lol

Kinda like cars too

Very nice very nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was intresting and I didn't really know what it would be like but I didn't think it would be this lol tae was unexpected

Who are you guys most like? I think I'm maybe part jungkook and part yoongi? I'm not the most touchy feely person with friends but I am a lot more with partners. Jungkookie style cuddles is me when I'm around people that I've know for forever and are really good friends. Pull out good blankets, clothes, candles ect. Anything for optimal comfort. Joon style cuddles definitely sound like the most relaxing thing in the planet and makes me a bit nostalgic

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Further prompt; Bill tries to convince Vardy to do sexperiments with him (for science!) But in the most sfw and unsexy way possible? At some points bat mating habits are brought up.

Oh good lord, I have no idea how Alec can ever look this man in the eyes again after a conversation like that.

Warning: talks of bedroom activities and mating

On with the fic!

--

If Hardy could think of any regrets he had in his long life, telling Bill he was a vampire was very high on the list of worst regrets.

After getting over how terrifying it was to be with a monster, Bill went into weird scientist mode, and has been asking Hardy one too many questions. Really, was Hardy's life a fucking horror movie at this point, a vampire and someone who could, in the moment, be considered a mad scientist?

"When you and your ex-wife were together," Bill started, his glasses perched on his nose, a notepad on his lap, "were there any urges to drink from here when you were in bed together?"

"Jesus wept, Masters." Hardy made a face, his mug of hot tea and blood suddenly no longer sounding good.

"I mean, you can't blame me for being curious on that! Isn't it often seen in vampire media that blood drinking is considered a sexual act, or even foreplay?"

"Oh my fucking God..." Hardy buried his face in his hands, he was not ready for this.

"That's not answering the question."

"Why do you even want to know?"

"Well, if we are going to move forward with our relationship, I just want to be prepared if you decide to make me a treat."

Hardy wanted to die, again. He dropped his head on the table with a loud thunk, groaning at how horrible this conversation was. "Stop talking, please, you stupid, stupid man..."

Bill seemed to be ignoring his suffering. "We'll come back to that one then. Next question, does your weird, monster face happen often when you are stimulated or overly emotional, or can you just control that easily?"

"Are you serious!?" He shot his head up, looking offended. "No, my bloody bat face does not come out during- why would you even- God, you are the worst!"

At least Tess never asked him weird questions like this, except one, and it was only if he wanted to drink from her in bed. He never did, it weirded him out too much.

"Alright, that's a no." Bill nodded, writing something down, Hardy wanted to tear the notepad to pieces.

"Are you able to have sex on the ceiling? I'm sure that wall sex is perfectly normal for most anyway, but ceiling sex might be interesting." The doctor commented and Hardy grabbed the notepad and threw it over his shoulder.

Bill just stared at the spot where it had been, then up at the vampire, clearly not amused. "Really? How mature."

"Stop being weird."

"It's for science. I am a sex researcher after all, and this counts as research."

"Please do not bring your weird job into the bedroom."

They glared at one another before Bill leaned back, crossing his arms. "Do you need to drink before engaging in sexual activities?"

"NO! I mean... it helps, sometimes, but shut the fuck up!"

Bill nodded, seeming to be taking mental notes on this. He went quiet for a moment, pondering something. "Have you... ever, as a bat, ever performed acts with another bat?"

Hardy wanted to throttle him.

--

Look, someone was bound to be curious as to how vampires do it, it might as well be Bill. It is his job to research people doing it, yeah?

Hardy is in a personal Hell.

[bimoonchilde]

Stay Gold

(a short continuation of this and this)

She's not evil, no. She just gets sick and imagines committing atrocities. But it's kinda cute, in the very same way peaches is cute when she does the but wiggle before pouncing on a Peggie.

"I swear I'm beginning to.." sneeze "...maybe think Jacob's right."

Some moron had managed to get himself stuck in the pickliest of pickles, having gotten himself tangled in some barbed wire in what would have been an epic 'hold my beer' moment had he been wearing a belt, so his pants didn't fall around his ankles... And trip him in said barbed wire.

"These morons can't give me a few mothefuckin days, can they?" She grumbling, growling, and swearing like a sailor, making his eyes widen with every word out of her normally kind and considerate mouth.

"Fuckin cunts." Oh Jesus Christ, he almost blushed tomato red.

Sharky found himself, for once, stunned silent. He didn't know what to say and not risk his most tender of bits. Hell, he'd hear of people getting sick and being crybabies, cuddly, or just plain quiet and sleepy. But never in his near thirty years of life had he ever seen anyone get sick and ready to end everyone's shit.

"If I get my hands on those morons I swear." Another sneeze as she started getting dressed, damn near tripping over her own feet.

"Whoa there, Shorty, you ain't going anywhere." Yeah, he's risking it.

"Eli asked me to help em out, Shark. I gotta go."

"Y'ain't gotta do shit but sit your perky little ass back in bed and get better."

She shot him a look, a glare that would have had him needing to change his underwear, if she didn't look so damn pitiful, the sweat having made her blue baby hairs stick to her forehead, looking like she was about to pass out on him, again.

"Look, if ya go out there in your condition, you're easy pickings for the chosen, I only managed to keep Jacob and a few others inside that place. Please, just stay?" The incident in question got him and Hurk a reaming from her, but Sharky stood firm on it, refusing to apologize for what he did. He was genuinely worried about her well being, unable to imagine what kinda person he'd turn into if she got hurt on his watch.

"Fine, but Eli needs someone out there."

A voice came over the radio, a woman who was cussing like a sailor, fed up with whatever she was doing.

"Hey Dep, ya just sit tight, ain't nobody wanna catch whatever you got, okay? You probably look like shit, too." He watched as the first smile he'd seen from her in days light up her face, feeling himself get all gooey in the inside. Sweet Jesus, he was in love.

"Thanks Jess, I owe ya one."

"Nah, just keep that ick to yourself, Jess out." Bless Jess, bless Jess and her crazy scary, violent little heart.

"See? You ain't the only competent person around here, ya know?" She shot him a look... "Hey, don't give me that look, I only set my pants on fire that one time. And Hurk was the one who spilled gas on me, thank you very much."

She laughed as she wiggled herself back out of her jeans, tucking herself up under his arm. He pressed a kiss to her temple, pulling the blanket around her tiny, give foot five inch form.

"Can I just say, I'd still like to thin out the gene pool. Who fuckin' runs through barbed wire on purpose?"

Sophomore year of highschool. Him, Hurk, and Nick raced each other through it on a hundred dollar pot to the winner, but he decided to keep that little story to himself until it'd get the laugh it deserved.

"Yeah, right? What kinda fucknuts would do that? Anyway, what do ya wanna watch? I got just about everything."

"The Outsiders. I love that movie."

He did too, so he made quick work of turning it in for her, settling back into bed, mentally preparing himself. The movie never failed to make him cry.

Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.

"If you hear me sniffling, you gave me whatever you got, capiche?"

[whiskehorange]

mom. i'm scared. i didn't know who asa was so i did research and jesus christ. i can handle gore but i wasn't mentally prepared for it in this case. all yall asa simps are some kinky hoes and i salute you for it.

Yeah the movies are defiantly a gore lover hub, but honestly his character really was just so like… of course other than attractive he had a very nice professional and determined aspect to him.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually don’t even really care for the movies but they’re better than a lot of the ones I’ve seen (not including whatever the fuck happened in the second one). A lot of the character I write for I actually don’t like their movies 😭😭 honestly, should I do a honest rating of a lot of the character’s movies write for?? Idk of y’all would like my opinions or care 😂

[showmethesneer]

Always and Forever, Lara Jean reactions

I hate Peter Kavinsky in this book series but here i am, finishing off the trilogy

SPOILERS

-i have no hopes for this yet here i am

-their reactions to Leo in Romeo and Juliet is so legit.. i feel them

-"they had such a good meet cute 😢" i LOLd so hard

-GET IT, MS. ROTHSCHILD!!! damn son

-Lara Jean is a Taurus and this all makes so much sense now

-Fight Club costumes!!! I AM OBSESSED and i need to see this in the film version of this book

-"you guys are kinky" trying so hard not to holler at work right now

-i can't believe Peter is holding the kiss with Josh against her when Josh fucking kissed HER and he did it to throw her off and she was in no way prepared for it

-Peter claims that he doesn't care what people think and i call so much bullshit because the entire first book is just him caring specifically about what other people think

-Lara Jean describing New York City is making me so homesick 😭 i miss my home so much and i hate living in Florida where it's 100 fucking degrees and i can't walk anywhere

-she mentioned Jacques Torres! Be still my Nailed It-watching heart

-i thought i could handle this but she's walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and that's my literal happy place and i am sniffling and holding back actual tears at work i did not need this

-it's been 10 whole years since I had to worry about college applications and Lara Jean's struggles are giving me visceral flashbacks even though i applied to my one dream school early decision and got accepted before winter break

-it amazes me how Lara Jean is somehow the only Song girl who doesn't have enormous cojones.. Margot "my boyfriend will stay in my bedroom with me" Covey and Kitty "do they have to have sex that bad?" Covey took all the cojones the family could spare??

-bruh Margot trying to convince Lara Jean to give William and Mary a chance is kinda breaking my heart in a really good way. What a great sister.

-"we live in the age of Hamilton" jesus Margot that doesn't end racism

-"and Peggy" BIIIITCH lmao

-"Daddy doesn't have any friends" why the fuck is Kitty so savage?!

-Lara Jean being resistant to her college situation is legit giving me anxiety. I don't know anything about this experience of not getting into your dream college and i feel so bad for her.

-penis pasta?!?! No no no

-the Peter's beard conversation is crazy hilarious and i cannot stop laughing at work

-did she fucking make Peter read all the Harry Potter books or was it his own idea? I need to know this

-Stormy's memorial service.. I'm not crying at work I'm not crying

-it has occurred to me many times that i am literally engaged to a Lara Jean but never more so than when she says "i just like things to be special" this is basically my exact experience in wedding planning with someone as meticulous as my fiancee

-the prom birthday surprise.. A+ boyfriending from Peter. I am impressed. This is super sweet and i am definitely seeing him in a better light during this book than i have in the previous ones.

-the Sixteen Candles moment.. i love that he did this and i love that the movie grabbed this moment and played with it

-AHHHH!! i wanted her to get into UNC so fucking bad!!! When she got waitlisted i made a mental note that she was gonna get accepted later in the book. I'm so happy for this fictional person 💗

-i'm so excited for this road trip they took and that Lara Jean is having a great time visiting UNC but their phones being dead is giving me such Responsible Adult anxiety.. find a fucking charger!! Buy one if you have to!

-"Why bet on NOT loving a place? Why not take a chance and bet on happiness?" This has been my exact motto for years and i feel so valid

-every time she says that she got into UNC and when she decides that she's going.. i legitimately have tears on my eyes, i am so happy for her

-i am so unspeakably mad that book!Peter gets drunk at the parties he takes her to becuz movie!Peter's decision to stay sober so Lara Jean can enjoy herself is one of his shining moments

-Peter "I'll write you a note everyday" Kavinsky can't figure out what to fucking write in her yearbook smh

-the trip to Korea is an incredible gift (especially the pastry class) but holy fuck, how do you send someone to another country for a whole month without talking about it with them?! She's going to another state for school! Maybe she had plans for her last summer in her hometown

-"we had 18 years together, as many years as you've been alive" i am not crying

-"isn't Dental Dam the unsexiest word you ever heard?" "I think gonorrhea is" i am fucking DEAD

-Peter eyeing the carrot during this whole conversation is giving me life

-"but first, can you put on Frank Ocean?" BITCH!! LMAO a girl after my own heart

-wow Peter has literally been a possessive toolbox this entire fucking book series. Like.. it's legit for him to not be in the mood when she is, but for him to make her feel shitty for getting into a great school, for him to make her feel guilty for choosing to go to a school that makes her heart sing just because it's farther away, and for him to dump this on her when she's finally ready to have sex, i literally cannot understand his selfishness or why Lara Jean finds this acceptable

-as much as i dislike book!Peter, this is my biggest fucking pet peeve. I hate when the parents try to convince their child's partner to break up with them "for their own good." It's so disrespectful and condescending.

-"don't act drunk" *thumbs up* *ACTS DRUNK AS FUUUUCK*

-and THIS is why i fucking hate book!Peter. He KNOWS that his mother worked on Lara Jean to convince her to break it off. But he's still making her feel like shit for doing it. He's making her question her desire to have sex. He is a gaslighting douchenozzle and i hate him. AND he's having this whole conversation while she's drunk.. for the first time in her life. He knows she's not mentally sound and he's having this very serious conversation with her anyway. That's so irresponsible.

-i get that he has abandonment issues and i am very happy that he was determined to make their relationship work because he knew it was what they both wanted... but i still hate him and i’m so sad that she’s not with John Ambrose McClaren or literally anyone else. but i thoroughly enjoyed these books.

[soldierallen]

Married. 5

Summary: you're in love with Sebastian and you're one of his three best friends however he finds a women he loves and marries her.

Featuring: Chris Evans, Alexandra Daddario, Robert Downey Jr, Tom Holland, (Henry Cavill & Anthony Mackie on the phone/ in a flasback) Sebastian Stan.

Warnings: a very villainous Alexandra, probably a few curse words?

Part 4:

÷

"I'm sorry I called I didn't know who else to go to" she paced her living room, the quiet settling in Chris looking at her as she paced and explained

"Its okay I'm always here for you, you know that" he smiled a reassuring smile at her he knew she needed the reassurance when she called.

she hated asking for help she wanted to be independent do everything herself however that wasn't easy for her when she was always shy and an only child she never had anyone growing up until she was 11, met Chris they became the bestest friends then soon met Anthony, a year later they met Henry and Sebastian.

○○○○○○○○

"Okay I've made a big mistake a huge one" she looked at the four boys on the couch pacing back and fourth they followed her with their eyes

"What did you do?" Anthony asked

"I told my grandmother I had a boyfriend so she could stop setting me up on dates with her friends grandsons you gotta help me" she stopped pacing, her knee bounced up and down waiting for someone to stoop in save the day, crickets.

"Oh thanks guys FUCK" she nervously fixed her hair in an angry ponytail

"There's a guy I know that would love to take you" Chris said, the other three not following because well they didn't know who he was talking about

"I have a friend named Tom he owes me a favor" Chris said tapping his fingers on the arm chair

"You're serious? He's human right?" She asked

"Yes I'll ask him when I get home" she hugged Chris

A day had passed and he introduced them

"Y/n this is Tom Holland, Tom this is Y/n y/l/n" they shook hands "it's nice to meet you" "You're even more beautiful in person" Tom blurted out she blushed profusely he was a charmer.

"Whatever you need, I'm ready to do it no excuses" he said, Chris smiled at the interaction between the two they looked really cute together he hopes they make it far.

And from that day forward she knew the lengths Chris would go for her.

○○○○○○○○

"I'm having a mental breakdown"

"Did you tell him about alex?"

"No I couldn't get to that part! I said I'm not going to your fucking wedding and I stormed off - I yelled at him i told him don't answer that fucking phone let me talk to you he answered it and my brain let hell break loose he never chooses me" She finally stopped pacing looking back and fourth as she stood up her nail digging into her skin trying to pull the skin off, a nervous habit she couldn't help it.

"Hey hey hey, you're stressing over nothing okay" he got up quickly to bring her to the couch " y/n You're in love with this man since I can't even remember how long, you can't stop loving him I understand one hundred percent you deserve to be happy" he cuddled into her on the couch her head on his chest his arm around her "but Whatever you think is right for you, do it you know yourself better than anyone else what you decide is purely what you know is good for you"

she closed her eyes and pulled in a breath letting it flow out through her nose "I think it's better if I just stop talking to him all together, I'm delaying it only because I don't want to lose him" he nodded he knows once this all blows over she'll lose him for good.

"I know" he held her stroking her hair "If you think that's good for you do it-" the door was knocked on

"hide" she whispered to Chris he stood up walking to her room closing the door behind him, she stood up fixing her clothes she had one of those chain locks, she opened the door the noise of the lock chain locking the only noise heard she looked out

The devil herself.

She shallowed not ready to face another problem today.

She opened the door fully but not letting her in, "what now?"

"I know what you saw, you seen me at the coffee shop and Henry saw me check in I know both of you know, you're not going to ruin my whole life that I built with one phrase said to Sebastian, we love each other"

"You don't fucking love him, you're cheating on him for God's sake!! you've been lying to him for months we caught you" Y/n was done being scared of her

"Well daddy knows you're CEO, you wouldn't want to loose your job at the company? Right? You're the creative director of the company. You wouldn't want to loose this opportunity all on a bad rep."

"Don't play dumb games like this were old enough to know right from wrong"

"Don't play god and you won't have to play games, Sebastian will find out sooner or later but If it comes out of your mouth you've got a lot coming y/n, if I go down you're going down with me" she said her piercing blue eyes staring right at her, getting closer to her face. this is what she was afraid of Sebastian and her job, Sebastian was going to end things with her whether he likes it or not and Alex was going to get her fired.

"Tell me one thing, why are you leading him on like this why are you... destroying him like this Sebastian could have such a full life"

"It's like playing with toys, you have the one toy you love bring it everywhere with you show it off it means the world to you without it you don't know what would happen, but then you come home and you see that one doll you bought awhile ago it's not the prettiest in the bunch, if anyone knew you liked the old doll better they would call you a hoarder you don't want to be a hoarder so you throw everything out and only have the nice pretty thing in front of you but right behind your closet door sits the doll you've loved your entire life" She said in such a villainous tone, y/n was taken a back

"Go home you nutcase" and she shut the door on her face, y/n held her breath and pulled out her phone clicking the stop voice memo the notification popping up

"new recording saved"

"CHRIS" she yelled out

"What the actual fuck" the door opened to her bed room he looked like nervous wreck, she locked the door behind her

"Is this women a villain from a comic book Jesus Christ" Chris said Clearly distraught from hearing that story

"I recorded the whole thing" she shallowed showing Chris her "New Recording" on voice memos he picked her up and sprung her around "you're a genius how did you know it was her?"

"I knew it was coming so I've been recording whoever comes to the door since the past four hours" she laughed trying to regain focus

"You're a sneaky little person" he smiled

"I learned from the best" she said his eyebrows furrowed

"Henry" she said nonchalantly

"Oh" he said

÷

"Mr Downey could I speak to you" she knocked on her boss's door she saw him her nerves circulating through her entire body they never truly spoke he asked for the work she did the work designing helping her team approving it and he was given the final approval and if he didn't like it all the work that everyone put since weeks could be thrown in the trash all in 5 seconds.

"You have the designs this early miss y/l/n?" He was confused looking at paperwork on his desk & back up at her

"Uh no not exactly I have to talk about something important" she was at the risk of losing her job if she had the wrong thing.

"If you want a raise I can't give it to you right now" he said "No sir i- it's personal."

"Okay shoot?" He said giving her his now full attention, "sir I've been at this company for three years as the creative director you don't understand how grateful I am to have this job, to be in this community to have you the giving and loving man that you are hire me"

"Y/n You put in a lot of hard work it was a crime not to give you this job you clearly deserved it" he said very seriously.

"Thank you sir, I have made myself an enemy in the higher ups, Mr Daddario's Daugther.."

He nodded "that man does whatever his daugther says it's a dishonor for everyone who works for him" he shallowed fixing his posture a little "she's trying to get me fired, she's going to ask her father to tell you to fire me and find some kind of excuse" she tried swallowing her nerves which wasn't helping "I didn't want to come and do this, however I don't want to lose this" she looked around at his awards for the magizne they produced the awards for articles, a whole segment he did in the New York Times.

"Please don't fire me over a phone call"

He sat back on his expensive leather chair, he loosened his tie.

"I respect you I've always have but this...ive never respected you like this ever before" she tried not to show her smile but her eyes told a different story "you really want this job?" "More than anything sir" she said being very serious

"Well, if mr Daddario tells me to fire my best CD I'll tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine" he smiled standing up "Mr Downey thank you sincerely" she went to go shake his hand "nope this is a hug moment" he said she laughed and gave him a hug, she walked out she's never felt so powerful in her entire life it was only 4 days until the wedding she knew it was over today it was finished.

She laughed in the hallway jumping, she heard someone laughing a man she turned around it was Tom...Holland

"You're back" she said with a smile, they broke up for one reason only he was leaving to another country for a job in entertainment he was a director for movies and tv shows I totally supported him however we knew the long distance wasn't going to last it's been a year.

"You know every time I see you, you have this glow you get more beautiful every time" he smiled getting closer to her her face blushed she wasn't prepared for the compilment

"What are you doing here" she said gesturing to her place of work & trying to weigh down the redness in her cheeks "I came to see you, I know your friends wedding is coming I thought maybe we could possibly...go together" he said still smiling ear to ear finally face to face to a women he did absolutely fall in love with, she fell in love with him to but she knew it wasn't right for her.

"I'm going to ruin the wedding tonight actually" he gave her a questionable look "his bride has been cheating on him for months I didn't have the heart to tell him." "That's horrible" he said "I know, you still have the same number" she laughed "yeah" he said

"Call me tomorrow we'll catch up" they hugged, everything went smoothly the entire day it was great.

It was a late night coming home, it was one of those days where it felt like you want to just be alone sulk she had a mission though..

Stop that god damn wedding.

She changed out of her work clothes into normal clothes which consisted of a sweater jeans and sneakers, she made a conference call to the three boys "Its happening I have the keys in my hand and it's happening im freaking out" "Don't be nervous it'll look suspicious" Henry said "like Henry said chill we're gonna get through this together" Anthony said "I just I'm- I don't want to break his heart.. I never wanted to break his heart"

"His heart was going to get broken anyways" Chris said "Yeah but not by me."

At Sebastian's house

"Why is she not coming why won't she answer my calls" he said to himself as he brushed his teeth

"Babe who are you talking to?" Alex yelled out

"Nobody" he yelled back she came to the door and knocked on it he opened the door she wore a silk lacey nightie it's like she wasn't even wearing clothes..that was the idea I guess

"Baby what's wrong?" She said he spit in the sink "I didn't want to tell you cause I didn't want you to know, she's not coming to the wedding" he was really upset "who" she asked

"Y/n she got angry she was trying to tell me something and I wasn't caring I answered your phone call and she blew up on me when we got here, she screamed I'm not going to your fucking wedding my heart broke she's been with me my entire life I'm getting married to the women I love and she's not coming?"

Alex thought here's her chance to ruin it all.

"Finish I gotta tell you something" she patted his chest and sitting on the bed, he rinsed and sat next to her

"What's up" he said giving her a comforting look his hand on her leg

"I didn't want to tell you this I've been keeping this secret it's been killing me for months, y/n threaten to ruin the wedding because she's in love with you"

Sebastian's stomach turned he felt like he was going to throw up his nerves circulating through out his entire body

"What are you talking about?" He said his voice coming out shaky his nerves getting the better of him, this wasn't what he was expecting.. she's in love with me? He thought...why didn't she tell me why was she doing this

"She told me she's going go ruin the wedding and and - I don't deserve to be with you" her fake tears about to well up "I told her you're trying to ruin our lives at what cost?"

"For him to be with me, she's a psycho I told her if you ruin my wedding he'll never forgive you" her fake tears ran down her face he was soothing her through her "grief"

"I didn't want to tell you because you love her like your sister I wasn't going to ruin it for you I'm so sorry" she cried "Its okay I'm going to fix this" he stood up "what are you going to do?" She said wiping her face "ruin her like she did to you." He called her on the phone he was angry she threatened his wife? What kind of animal does that!

"Where are you" he asked trying to calm his anger

"I was coming over to you?" She said

"Don't I'll be there in 20 minutes" he said

"Seb what is this about?" She said

"Me and you everything" he hung up ready to get into his car and end his friendship with y/n.

Tagged: @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandom @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91

[tbzloonar]

i haven't read any fantasy books help 💀 ah, well maybe this might be a good start. my entrances are in july so i have a lot of free time after that skskks btw tysm for wishing me luck ^_^

girl on the train, well, i don't think you can rely on someone else's opinion about it. while this applies for most of the books out there ( yk, 'don't judge a book by it's cover' both literally and metaphorically lmao ) i think it fits girl on the train a tad bit more

i'm avoiding anything that hints towards the story line, but the book relies heavily on plot twists, offering little to no character development, and in turn leaves a bitter taste about the three main leads ( at first it may seem u have more than 3 leads but in the end, it'll be clear ) i found them stereotypical. if you've watched / read enough thrillers, the plot is actually predictable. the 'psychological' part of it is just another commonly used plot device. yk it feels like the author ran out of reasons for why things are happening and stamped a potentially convincing reasoning. ( see, convincing because it is still a good one. just overused )

tldr; i think you have to read to find out. everything i said is my part of the story and my opinion. it's a good book over all, like 6.5/10 ?? 7/10 ?? yeah ?? better than the movie. the writing style is actually very intricate, which is a good thing

AND HELP I RAMBLED IM SORRY 🙏 i have read a bunch of psychological thrillers so lmk if u need any recs !! and pls if u wish, u can talk about ur other interests, it's rlly fun talking to you ^^

AWW💔💔💔 if you asked anybody that knew me irl a few years ago they'd all tell you they see me mostly reading books and a 90% chance is that book is always a fantasy one. good times. not really actually but i liked when i would just read all the time

i really hate 0 character development as well as a predicted plot, but i do like plot twists so i dont know, might check it out! if i do read it, i'll let you know what i think of it ("yk it feels like the author ran out of reasons for why things are happening and stamped a potentially convincing reasoning" jesus christ gonna need a lot of tea to mentally prepare me for that LMAOO)

no worries for rambling! i really enjoy these long kind of conversations (i enjoy talking to u as well <33) also yes i do need some good recs, im kinda new to the genre and would love to read some of the books that you like

[goaways-stuff]

Christmas Party Spiderman Fanfic

This if for @mexifangorl merry Christmas!

I'm really sorry if this sucks- I've been really busy over the holidays and haven't had a lot of time to work on it. I hope you don't absolutely hate it!

"Peter!" You yelled across the flat. "Peter I need your help with this!"

You had spent all morning decorating the Christmas tree for the Christmas party that night- you forgot how much work it could be. The lights, the ornaments, and the big star or whatever on top.

"Peter, please!"

"Ok! Ok! I'm comin', Aly!" He said laughing.

He came out of what ever room he was in fully clothed in his spiderman suit with a Christmas hat and santa beard, hands on his hips in a proud stance.

You looked him up and down and broke into a laughing fit.

"Jesus Christ, Peter now please help me with this," You said giggling.

"Ok fiiiiine," He said in a fake defeated tone. You handed him the ornaments you needed to place higher up and you both put the start on top together.

Once the tree was finished you put decorations around the house; Peter eventually takes off the mask and beard because it was hot in the house. He still had the santa hat on though.

Peter was almost done decorating the house when his spide sense went off for a nearby crime.

"Aly- I have to go. I'm really sorry, I'll be back as soon as possible I promise."

"It's okay! I understand, be safe okay?"

"I will- I promise," He smiled, gave you a hug and left out the back window.

You knew you had to be patient and understanding with him and his other life, especially around the holidays when crime rates went through the roof.

You worried about him a lot. He led a double life and it could be hard sometimes, or, a lot of times. You loved him though and he loved you, you were together and that's what mattered.

You finished decorating and cooking while listening to Christmas music to get into the mood for later. As stressful as they could be sometimes- you loves the holidays. You loved your family and friends and the whole vibe of the season.

You looked around at the house and admired yours and Peter's work. It really looked nice and gave off soft, cozy vibes.

You smiled and turned on a Christmas movie before the party. You took some deep breaths and mentally prepared yourself for seeing everyone coming.

You were getting more excited and antsy for Peter to get back home. You knew he was working hard but you missed him and was hoping he'd be back in time for the party

You tried to stay calm, even if he wasn't back in time for the party, everything would be okay. You reminded yourself that as you stared at the clock and tried to relax yourself by watching the Christmas movie.

You bounced your knee as the time passed more and more quickly as it got closer to the time of the party.

"Deep breaths Aly", you told yourself. "It's going to be okay."

Eventually the time for guests to start arriving.

Now you were even more worried. No guests had arrived yet. You were expecting for at least one to show up early.

"What if no one came?" You thought to yourself. You quickly dismissed the thought and reminded yourself of the very specific RSVPs you got.

You were knocked out of your thoughts as you heard a knock on the door.

"Shit," you thought to yourself. You gathered yourself together as the doorbell rang.

Them right before you opened the door to greet it, Peter walked up behind you with only a small cut on his lip.

You pouted at him, gave him a hug and opened the door to greet the guest.

You took a deep breath and relaxed. You knew things were going to turn out okay this Christmas.

Merry Christmas & Happy holidays. Stay safe and remember you are loved <3

[jontracy]

3. "I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid." With Gordon and Alan? :O I love your writing so much

It was a rare morning that Alan came downstairs to find the living areas of the villa empty. Grandma was almost always up before everyone else, using the time to read or dust or think up new culinary concoctions with which to torture her grandsons. Scott was also an early riser, getting up at an ungodly hour to work out and deal with Tracy Industries or IR business. Even Virgil was known to rise with the sun every once in a while; something about there being some golden hour that was perfect for art.

That morning though, Alan was alone when he stumbled down to the kitchen. It took his sleep-addled brain a long minute to remember that Scott had taken Grandma to her 55th college reunion, Virgil and Brains were at an engineering conference in Switzerland, and Kayo was in Chicago, teaching a self-defense class to two dozen teenage schoolgirls.

Which meant that, for the first time in Tracy family history, the Tinies had the island to themselves.

As the realization dawned, Alan did the only reasonable thing that could be expected: he raced up to Gordon’s room and let himself in, yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Rise and shine, my partner in crime! We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

The Gordon-shaped lump under the mound of blankets on the bed just let out a muffled groan. Alan frowned and turned on the lights. There was a slightly more disgruntled sounding groan. A tuft of messy blond hair was the only sign of Gordon still visible.

“C’mon, this is no day to sleep in!” Alan declared, marching forward to grab the edge of the blankets. “We- Jesus.”

He blinked down at the pitiful sight he’d unearthed. Gordon’s face was the color of moldy milk, save for the bright spots on his cheeks and his inflamed nose. His lips were chapped and slightly parted, his breath audible as an unhealthy whistle. His blue and green pajama shirt was stuck to his torso with sweat.

“Are you dead?” Alan asked.

“Yep.” Geez, even Gordon’s voice sounded like crap. “Throw me a nice funeral.”

“I don’t think people throw funerals.”

“Then they’re clearly not doing it right.” Gordon finally cracked an eye open to peer at Alan. It was bloodshot and watery. “It’s been nice knowing you, bro.”

Alan sighed, mentally shifting gears. Not how he’d expected this day to go, but hey; part of being a member of International Rescue meant that you had to learn to adapt to your situation.

“Don’t go getting mushy on me now,” he said. “If you die, who’s gonna help me switch the labels on all of Virgil’s paint bottles?” He pulled the covers the rest of the way off Gordon. “Come on. If I’m gonna take care of you, it’s not gonna be in this cesspool.”

Gordon’s room always had the unfortunate tendency to smell like feet and seaweed, and that was before you even considered the biohazard disaster that was its actual contents.

“Or you could just leave me here to die,” Gordon suggested.

Alan rolled his eyes. Instead of arguing further, he just leaned in and dug his fingers into the sensitive spot on Gordon’s side. Gordon let out a noise like a drunk ferret getting run over, and toppled out of his bed. Alan grabbed him before he could hit the floor, and dragged him upright and out of the room, grimacing as he realized just how sweaty his brother really was. But he was committed by then, so he persisted in hauling Gordon to the main room, where he deposited him on the couch.

He liked to think that when Gordon opened his mouth, it was for the express purpose of thanking Alan for being the world’s best and most thoughtful little brother, but he would never know, because instead of words coming out, Gordon released the wettest, most violent sneeze that Alan had ever had the misfortune to be standing in front of.

“Ew, dude!” Alan complained, recoiling and wiping at his face with the back of his hand.

“I did tell you to leave me,” Gordon said, grabbing a pillow and curling his body around it, the picture of misery. “Just save yourself. It’s too late for me.”

Alan gazed skyward, searching for strength. They clearly weren’t going to get anywhere without some kind of chemical intervention.

“Stay put, Mr. Melodramatic,” Alan ordered, before setting off for the medical facility buried within Tracy Island.

When he returned with a box of tissues and a bottle of the cold and flu medicine that Scott always gave him when he was sick, it was to find Gordon shivering and sounding for all the world like he was trying to cough up one or both of his lungs.

Alan winced in sympathy. Gordon may have been melodramatic, but he also really was miserable.

“Here,” Alan said, holding out the bottle. “This has always helped me. I just need to find the little dose dispenser thing-” he broke off and watched in morbid fascination as Gordon snatched the bottle and chugged half of its contents in a single swig. “Uh…”

Gordon made a face and sneezed again. And again.

“It’s not working,” he said.

Alan snatched the bottle back before Gordon could drink any more of it. He studied the ingredient list, wondering just how likely it was that today was going to involve a flight to the nearest emergency room or poison control center. He couldn’t make sense of any of the active ingredients listed though. Most of them sounded like diseases themselves.

So he retreated to the loft, where he could keep an eye on Gordon without being within earshot, and pulled up his personal comm.

John answered about two microseconds after he called.

“What’s wrong?” he asked before Alan could get so much as a word out. “Scott can be there in less than an hour. There are fire extinguishers in-”

“Whoa, hey,” Alan protested, raising a hand. He glared suspiciously at his brother. “Have you just been sitting around waiting for something to go wrong?”

John flushed slightly, but raised an eyebrow.

“So nothing’s wrong?” he asked, skeptical.

“Well…nothing is on fire,” Alan said. “Geez, I’m not five.”

“No, but historically, when you and Gordon are left to your own devices, there are casualties.”

Alan wanted to argue, but realized that may not have been an unfair assessment. He shook his head, switching tacks.

“Whatever. We’re behaving. Now, don’t let this question alarm you, but hypothetically speaking, how much of that nasty kind of cold medicine is too much?”

John’s eyebrows nearly got lost in his hairline.

“Alan-”

“Hypothetically.”

John just shook his head with a sigh.

“All right, hypothetically, do you see the little cap that comes with the bottle?”

“Yeah.”

“One capful is an adult dose.”

Yeah, Alan had been afraid of that.

John must have read his expression correctly, because he went on.

“But if someone were, hypothetically, to take too much, they wouldn’t be in any real danger. But there would be some side effects that someone keeping a very close eye on them would have to be prepared for.”

“What kind of side effects?”

“Do you remember when Virgil got his wisdom teeth out?”

Alan’s eyes widened.

“Oh, God.”

John smirked.

“Have fun,” he said. “Call me if you need anything. I can be down there in twenty minutes.”

He disappeared. Alan leaned over the loft railing to give Gordon a dubious look. His brother blinked benignly back at him. Alan wondered how long it would take for the medication to take effect.

He returned to the main floor and perched on the edge of one of the couches, facing Gordon.

“Dude, why are you staring at me?” Gordon asked. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, I’m just waiting for you to start crying about the fact that penguins don’t get to know what it’s like to fly, like Virgil did when he was doped up on painkillers.”

“Oh, come on. This stuff isn’t that strong,” Gordon said, grabbing the bottle of medicine from where Alan had left it. He peered down at it for a long moment, thoughtful. “It says it’s Arctic Berry flavored,” he observed. His expression pinched. “Do berries even grow in the arctic? Wouldn’t they need hats? Who makes all the little berry hats, Alan?”

He stared earnestly at Alan, who could do nothing but stare back for a moment. Well, that hadn’t taken long.

When it became clear that Gordon was actually waiting for an answer, Alan managed, “I don’t know, Gords. Maybe they grow them in greenhouses and they don’t need hats at all.”

“Oh. That’s nice. I don’t like the cold.” Gordon looked down at the bottle again. “I wonder what Arctic Berries smell like.”

He raised the bottle to his nose, and a wet gurgling sound commenced. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner trying to suck up wet concrete. Gordon’s face started to turn purple as he continued to try to inhale through nasal passages that were just having none of it.

“Okay, how ‘bout we table that question till you can breathe?” Alan suggested, taking the bottle from Gordon again.

Gordon stared forlornly after it as Alan set it aside.

“I don’t think I would grow well in the arctic,” he decided, the words carrying the weight of a life-altering revelation.

“Well, it doesn’t look like you grew well in the tropics, either.”

Alan wished Gordon were with it enough to appreciate that one. He thought about calling John back just to share, but John would probably just shake his head in disappointment.

Alan looked at his brother critically. He wasn’t used to being on this side of illnesses. Whenever one of the brothers got sick, Scott or Virgil were usually the ones to take care of them. But Alan had been through enough cold and flu seasons to know the drill. He could do this.

“So, Gordon, do you want to go back to sleep?” he asked, hopeful. “It’ll make you feel better.”

Gordon frowned.

“Why, what’s wrong with me?” he asked.

“You mean aside from the fact that you look like Dr. Frankenstein hasn’t gotten around to bringing you back to life yet?”

Gordon clapped his hands to his neck.

“Am I gonna start growing bolts?” he demanded in a horrified whisper.

Alan was utterly nonplussed, until he remembered that Gordon had always been a movie purist, and he liked the original version of the Frankenstein movie, cheesy monster effects and all. Well, Alan could work with that.

“Only if you don’t take a nap,” he said.

Gordon threw himself down at once, shutting his eyes. Alan blinked, surprised that it had worked so quickly. He watched Gordon cautiously for a moment, waiting for…what, he wasn’t quite sure.

When nothing happened, he sat down again a safe distance from Gordon’s cloud of germs and grabbed his tablet from where he’d left it the night before. He pulled up his favorite video game and started playing. He didn’t know what John had looked so amused about; this was gonna be easy.

“Won’t being asleep make it easier for Frankenstein to find me?”

Or not.

Alan sighed and looked up at Gordon, whose eyes were wide open now. He’d managed to curl his body up into a ball that fit on just one sofa cushion, his arms wrapped around his knees in a death grip as if he were afraid that any protruding limbs would be summarily eaten.

“Nope,” Alan told him. “He’s like the reverse Santa Claus. He knows when you’re sleeping, and he doesn’t come then. Your snoring scares him off.”

This only served to petrify Gordon further.

“But I don’t snore, Alan!” he cried. “So he won’t get scared away!”

Alan stared at his brother, dumbfounded.

“Are you serious?” he demanded. “You sound like a category 3 earthquake when you sleep, healthy. You might actually cause an earthquake with your nose all plugged up.”

Gordon looked affronted.

“That’s not true!” he protested, sniffing (or trying to) and turning his head away. But then he froze.

“I told you!” he hissed, barely moving his lips. “He didn’t know, and now he’s here for me!”

“…What?”

Gordon raised a trembling hand to point. Alan followed the direction of his finger. His eyebrow rose.

“Gordon, that’s Scott,” he said, slowly. “His picture has always been there.”

Gordon flashed him a derisive look.

“Yeah, right,” he said. “I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.” He froze again, and then rounded on Alan. “Are you working with him?” he asked, his eyes glistening at the thought of his brother’s betrayal.

“With Scott?” Alan asked. “Depends on the day. Gordon, you’re safe. Dr. Frankenstein isn’t gonna get you. Neither is Scott, for that matter.”

Which, naturally, was the exact moment Scott chose to check on his youngest brothers.

“Hey, Alan, John told me-” Scott’s projected image broke off abruptly as a bloodcurdling scream rent the air.

Scott and Alan watched in varying levels of bemusement as Gordon continued to shriek at the top of his lungs as he scrambled over the back of the couch and went to hide under Dad’s desk.

Wordlessly, Scott turned his eyes on Alan, who felt his face heat.

“So, hypothetically…”