#Jenkins: Quick Question?

[manias-wordcount]

Soft Squeezes (Howl Jenkins Pendragon)

Kinktober 2023 Day Four: Fondling

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

��𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

It’s always when Howl seems to be at his absolute softest.

  That’s usually when you can expect him to stick his hands underneath the fabric of your dress. 

  Today was one of those days. Not that you were surprised, of course. He was sleepy this morning when you woke him up with the breakfast that you and Calcifer worked to create. He was quiet as he ate, though he answered every one of Markl’s questions with the smallest of smiles on his face. When breakfast was done, he seemed to have floated around the castle. Doing what? You’re not quite sure. There are still parts of Howl that you have to admit as being a mystery still- even to you. 

  But what you do know is that when he crept into your sunroom and picked you up and off the couch to plop you straight down in his lap, you knew you were in for a bit of a distracting reading session. So you didn’t even frown you just barely managed to make it to the end of the chapter. You only settled into him a little more. And you smiled.

  It wasn’t a smile Howl could necessarily see, but you had a feeling he knew it was there. Because all too soon, the long fingers that were tracing the neckline of your dress. Pressing the tips of his nails just barely against any pieces of exposed skin he could get his hands on. Only enough to make you shudder and shiver. And when he noticed the quiet way you fold the top of a page in the book you were trying to read, he didn’t say anymore. He just let out a warm chuckle and let you take your time in placing the book by the side of his lap. And when you finally righted yourself in his lap? Undistracted and oh-so-eager? He finally had the chance to set out and do what he wanted to do ever since wandering in to see you.

  Even so, he started off slow. 

  He still let a finger trace your neckline a few times for good measure. Though his other hand has already just begun gently pressing the pads of each finger just beneath the very top of your dress. At first, the touch was still a little more curious than anything else. But hand tracing your neckline had just wandered down further to cup at your breast from above your clothes. Four fingers had just reacquainted themselves with the size of your chest as they scoped from below and circled around what they could. His thumb came to top it all off as it began to draw small, small circles into you. Something you doubt you would have really noticed if it weren’t for the delicate way he treated you. Even as you fidgeted and squirmed and made all sorts of soft noises as you sat on his lap.

  Speaking of which, you were starting to get a little antsy. And a little bit shy too. A brush against of part of your body that was too sensitive always managed to get a shiver out of you. And the suddenness of a squeeze or a pinch or even a warm kiss to your skin was usually met with a whimper or a gasp pouring freely from your lips. Beneath you, you could feel your lover’s own arousal growing. A stiff, firmness that wasn’t always there is now pressing against your bottom. And if you wonder if it’s because touching you genuinely makes him this excited.

  Or if his body can somehow sense the growing wetness that’s now making a mess of your panties right above him.

  Whatever the reason may be, it doesn’t change the fact that Howl seems more than content with just playing around with your breasts. So content that when his fingers find your nipples hardening from beneath your dress and opts to give it the quickest squeeze that sends you almost jolting out of his lap, he’s quick the grab you with a free hand and keep you rooted in place. 

  “I’m sorry, my dear,” He murmurs into the crook of your neck. His apology is accented by a kiss against your skin as the hand that just grabbed you went from holding at your waist to spreading across the expanse of your tummy and squeezing there as well. The action bunches up your dress a little more than sitting on his lap has already. Not enough to cause major concerns if you were out in public. But just enough to raise some eyebrows now that more of the meat of your thighs was exposed for anyone to lay their eyes upon. But you know that’s now what Howl’s most interested in. Because if he was…. “You know I just couldn’t help it.”

  …then why would he be so focused on pulling down the top of your dress and letting your breasts fall free from the clothes that once confined them?

  And even though you know he’s doing this all for his own enjoyment and pleasure, there’s a certain feeling of embarrassment that overtakes you as you watch your chest become more exposed and bounce freely now that they’ve been revealed to all of the sunroom. But Howl doesn’t allow you for a moment to let that shyness dwell within you. It seems as if not even a part of his agenda or factored into his fantasy. No, because before you can even really blink, the hand that is not grabbing at your body and keeping you pressed against him is now spreading against your chest and grabbing. Squeezing. Feeling. Touching. Anything. Everything.

  And upon his lap, you’re left squirming and shaking. Whimper and whining. Gasping out and breathing deeply as the fabric of your dress pools around you. But behind your every reaction is a man giving into his earthly temptations. A man taking the same hands that once brushed against your pebbled nipples tenderly and turning them into hands that tug and roll the sensitive little point between two nimble fingers. A man taking the same hands that gently cupped and drew shapes along your skin and turning them into hands that give a little lift just to let fall. Or to squeeze just hard enough for him to hear your voice as you sing in surprise. Or to play and play and play with all that he can touch and all that he can feel and all that he can see.

  And he’ll be like this for hours. He’ll sit you on his lap and let your dress hang off your body. Leaving you half naked and all his to play with. He’ll run his fingers against your skin. He’ll be gentle and sweet. And maybe take a quick turn to poke and prod at your limits. But you’ll never have to worry about him being a little too rough with your precious body. Because on the inside and out, you know that the man you’re dealing with is a soft, soft man. A man who just so happens to want only one thing.

  And it just so happens that his hands are the absolute perfect size to enjoy that very thing.

[ofmdrecaps]

09/02-03/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Con O'Neill; Kristian Nairn; Nathan Foad; Leslie Jones; Lindsey Cantrell; Connor Barrett; Dominic Burgess; Sept 2: OFMD Marmalade Day; Trends; Articles; TellTaleTV Final Round; WWDITS 10th Anniversary Blurays; FanSpotlight: FanWeeks: OFMD Sequel Week; Stede Whump Week; Never Left Podcast; Love Notes;

== David Jenkins ==

David's out at the US Open with Kinga!

Source: David Jenkins' Instagram Stories

== Rhys Darby ==

Rhys is EVERYWHERE this week, jeez. He really is causing a stir on every single platform, let me tell you. Below he's having a bit of a drink with some friends, out and about with Rosie!

Source: Facebook

Next up-- there's a new Indy Dramedy that just wrapped called "Song Of The Bigfoot" and Deadline has some new info on it!

Source: Rhys' Instagram Stories

Rhys is also looking to help raise some funds for the Kitten Rescue we all remember well from earlier this year! You can bid on this signed OFMD picture of the cast! To bid, visit here.

Source: Rhys' Twitter

Rhys also shared an older video of him discussing wanting to be Earths Ambassador!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 10,000 Dreams x Fraser Grut (@frasergrut)

Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram

Annnnnd more shots are becoming available from the 100th episode of the Cryptid Factor, Live in London!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Instagram

And finally, Last But CERTAINLY not least, there's a new The Cryptid Factor special episode for the $10 / Tier on Patreon!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Patreon

== Taika Waititi ==

Some more shots of Taika while he was out and about! Also a recipe for the Pispili that he and Andy Hearnden shared on instagram a while back!

Source: Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Andy Cooks (@andyhearnden)

and lastly a quick little tiktok of the Forever Young Rita & Taika!

Source: Rita Ora's Tiktok

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's out at Nickelodeon studios doing some voice over work!

Source: Samba's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn / WJW ==

Surprise #WeeJohnWednesday! 9pm BST (4pm EST, 1pm PST) tomorrow-- Sept 4!

Source: Kristian's Twitter

A huge thank you to @adoptourcrew for getting us the Kristian Nairn OFMD blurb from the latest Popverse Article (it is behind a sign up, but here's the article!)

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Con O'Neill ==

Con taking a nap with Cooper now that he's back from Mexico <3 (and David Fane was a sweetheart and popped his head in as well).

Source: Con's Instagram

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan back at the bedroom selfies again!

Source: Nathan's Instagram Stories

== Linds Cantrell ==

Linds Cantrell did an Ask Me Anything on Instagram today while she was waiting for a plane! She answered several questions, including something regarding OFMD BTS which may be completely out, but she'll be going to LA Comic Con in October! I'm planning on making a post with all her answers when I get a moment, but here's a few!

Source: Lindsey Cantrell's Instagram Stories

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie is out here rocking a workout, and looking bad ass <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

Source: Leslie Jones Instagram

== Dominic Burgess ==

Our dear Jeffrey Fettering, Dominic, blessed us today with some kitties as well as a shot.. of well him getting a shot!

Source: Dominic's Twitter

== September 2, Marmalade Day ==

Several of our crew members continued the September festivities with Marmalade Day on Sept 2!

Source: HSavernake's Twitter

Source: Astroglide Twitter

== Articles ==

Thank you @adoptourcrew for sharing another article talking about OFMD!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

== More Trends ==

Heyyy guess who was trending on Sept 2 on TUMBLR! (I believe it was because of the Sept 1 Dickfuck/Lighthouse day, but could be have been more! let me know if you know something else happened! Thank you to the badass @poison-into-positivity for catching it <3

Source: @poison-into-positivity's Tumblr

== Tell Tale TV Voting Reminders ==

Reminder! Stede and Ed are in the final round of Ship of the Year! Please visit TellTale TV! Thank you @ofmd-ann for the reminder dear!

Source: Ofmd-Ann's Tumblr

== What We Do In The Shadows Bluray ==

Okay so WWDITS is not OFMD but it has Rhys and Taika so gonna send a boost out of this! Thank you to the absolutely spectacular @ jimjim531969 over on twitter for always bringing the latest cool news regarding the cast. You truly are a gem <3

Also per Jim:

Links to pre-order the WWDITS 10th anniversary blu-ray:

Australia & NZ (16 October, 2024)

USA & Canada (November 1st, 2024): Amazon or Barnes & Noble

UK (01/11/2024)

Source: @ jimjim531969 on Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Upcoming Fan Weeks =

* OFMD Sequel Week *

There's a new Fan-Week been announced for Nov 17 - 23, OFMD Sequel Week! Check them out on Twitter and give them a follow to keep up with the latest news!

Source: OFMDSequelWeek Twitter

* Stede Whump Week *

Stede Whump Week will be happening 28 Oct - 3rd Nov, and the bingo cards for that week are now available on Twitter!

Source: Stede Whump Week Twitter

= Never Left Podcast =

There's a new episode of Never Left out, and it's Part 2 of the discussion on Birds! Wanna check it out? Visit their linktr.ee!

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Hoping your week is progressing in an upward direction. I hopefully get to finally talk to my dad tomorrow after over a week of everything going on, so I'll be in and out of things again. I know everyone is dealing with their own level of craziness right now, and I want to remind you that you're doing great no matter what you're dealing with. It could be little, it could be huge, it could be life-changing, or could be making you regress further back than you'd like-- whatever it is, you are getting through the best way you can, and you never have to feel bad about that.

I know it can feel like there's never an end to the chaos-- but remember that there are pockets of joy and love there in this life too, and however you need to cope with your daily struggles, don't feel bad in taking solace in that. Enjoy the little things, no matter how small. Rest up lovelies, breathe in, breathe out, drink some water, and keep going. Below is a very appropriate love note (for me personally but for so many others as well), courtesy of the amazing The Latest Kate. Not everything is clear right now, but it'll get there, just stay with us, and don't give up. Sending you so much love, crew <3

Source: The Latest Kate's Tumblr

[ladyluscinia]

Ok, I think I might be exiting the "are you fucking kidding me?" period and ready to make a real argument, so lets talk about Three Act Structure!

Is OFMD S2 just the "Darkest Hour"?

A very common explanation I've been seeing for some of the... controversial... aspects of S2 is that it's meant to be that way. That the middle act is where the protagonists hit their lowest point. Where we get the big failure point. Where everything looks kind of shit.

S2 is supposedly just that point. It's The Empire Strikes Back. People have been making that comparison since before the first episodes even dropped, telling everyone to expect something that could be disappointing or unsatisfying - it's just a matter of needing to wait for S3 to pull it all together.

It's not a baseless framework to consider the show through - I'm pretty sure David Jenkins has mentioned it in interviews (or at least mentioned he planned for three acts / seasons) so it's certainly worth asking how he's doing at the 2/3rd mark.

So - quick summary of Three Act Structure:

Act 1 introduces our characters and world. It includes the inciting incident of the story and the first plot point, where a) the protagonist loses the ability to return to their normal life, and b) the story raises whatever dramatic question will drive the entire plot. Act 2 is rising action and usually most of the story. The protagonist tries to fix things and fucks them up worse, in the process learning new skills and character developing to overcome their flaws. Act 3 is the protagonist taking one more shot, but this time they are ready. We get the climax of the story, the dramatic question gets an answer, and then the story closes.

If you want examples, the Star Wars Original Trilogy is a very popular template. And, hell, he said it was a pirate story... the main Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy also does a solid job with their three acts.

Let's compare. (Spoiler: I'm not impressed 🤨)

---

First thing I need to establish... Wait. Two things. First is that Three Act Structure is flexible, so we can't really analyze success or failure by pulling up a list of necessary plot beats that should have been hit in X order. Second is that if you tell me you are writing a romance with a Three Act Structure - where "the relationship is the story" - the first thing I'm going to do is ask you how you are adapting it. Because while there's not necessarily anything preventing you from applying this to a character driven plot, most people are familiar with it as plot structure for externally driven conflict.

Unless there's a reason the status of the main relationship is intrinsically tied up in the current status of the war against the evil empire, a standard Three Act Structure is going to entail either an antagonistic force that absolutely wants your main couple apart being the main relationship obstacle OR the romance aspect being a subplot to the protagonist's narrative adventure. None of those sound like how the show has been described.

So how is OFMD adapting it?

---

Act 1

(Can't figure out how well Act 2 is doing if we don't start at setup.)

Right out the gate, OFMD breaks one of the main "rules" for a story where the Acts are delivered in three parts. Namely the one where the first Act is treated as an acceptable standalone story, with it's own satisfying yet open ended conclusion.

In Star Wars, A New Hope ends with the princess rescued, Luke finding the Force, Han finding his loyalty, and the Death Star destroyed. The Empire isn't defeated, the antagonists still live... the story is not over, but this one movie doesn't feel unfinished.

Similarly, Curse of the Black Pearl gives Jack his ship back, Elizabeth and Will get together, and Norrington has the English Navy let them all off the hook and give Jack and the pirates one day's head start.

OFMD's final beat of S1 being Kraken Arc starting is not that, even if Stede returning to sea is still a pretty hopeful note. Now... I don't necessarily think this was a bad call. At least, not if the story is the relationship. It's easy to close on a happy ending and then fuck it up next movie if the conflict is external and coming for them. Not so much if you're driving the story with your protagonists' flaws, in part because it should be really obvious at the end of setup that your main characters need development and can't run off together right now. I actually like that they were risk-takers and let S1 look at the situation clearly vs doing a fragile happy end, because it takes into account the difference between a character-driven and plot-driven narrative.

I think OFMD's Act 1 actually ends at maybe the Act of Grace? Well, there through the kiss on the beach, counting as our "first plot point" before everything goes wrong, basically.

At that point, they have setup the story and characters. We've been introduced to Edward and Stede's current issues. Signing the Act of Grace does make the intertwined arcs between them real - it's no longer a situation that either one of them could just walk away from like it was in 1x07 - and we narrow in on the (alleged) driving question of the show:

It's not about "Will Stede become a great pirate?" or "Will we develop a better kind of piracy for the crew?" - the show is the relationship and the big question is "What is Stede and Edward's happy ending?"

Act 1 ends on their first solution, being together and making each other happy and admitting it's more than just friendship. Act 2 starts, appropriately, by saying both of them are currently too flawed for that to go anywhere but crashing and burning.

Now... looking back, what does Act 1 do well vs poorly?

I think it's really strong on giving us the foundation for BlackBonnet's characters and flaws. We aren't surprised Stede goes home or Edward goes Kraken (or at least... we weren't supposed to be surprised. There are still a lot of holdouts blaming Izzy for interrupting Edward's "healing" despite how at this point in the story it doesn't make sense for Edward to have the skills to heal... but I digress). The relationship question is compelling at the end of S1, the cliffhanger hooks, and the fandom explosion of fics did not come from nowhere - the audience was invested.

I also think Act 1 does a great job of settling us in the universe. We understand the rules it abides by, from how gay pirates are just a fact of life to how there's no important organs on the left side of the body. Stede has a muppety force field. Rowboats have homing devices, and port is always as close as you want it to be. Scurvy is a joke. The overblown violence of pirate life is mostly a joke, but we are going to take the violence of childhood trauma seriously.

Lucius's fake-out death, while technically part of Act 2, works well because Act 1 did a good job of priming everyone to go "obviously this show wouldn't kill a crew member for shock value, and we're 100% supposed to suspend disbelief about how he could have survived getting flung into the sea in the middle of the night." And we do. And we get rewarded for it.

Regarding antagonists - a big focus of any setup - the show is deliberately weak. The one with the most screentime is Izzy, and he's purposefully ineffective at separating our main couple. Every antagonist is keyed to a particular character, and they function mostly to inform us of that character's flaws and development requirements. The Badmintons tell us about Stede's repression and feelings of inadequacy, and Izzy tells us about Edward's directionless discontent and tendency to avoid his problems. Effectively - the show is taking the stance this will be a character driven narrative where Stede and Edward's flaws are the source of problems and development the solution. No person or empire (or social homophobia) is separating them...

...which leads me to something not present - there nothing really about the struggle of piracy against the Empire. Looking at Curse of the Black Pearl... we see piracy is in danger. The Black Pearl itself is described as the last great pirate threat the British Navy needs to conquer. Hangings are omnipresent - Jack is sentenced to die by one almost as soon as he's introduced to the story, when his only act so far had been to wander around and save Elizabeth from drowning. OFMD tries to invoke this kind of struggle in 2x08, but there's no foundation. Our Navy antagonists are Stede's childhood bullies, and so focused on Stede the crew isn't even in danger when they get caught. The Republic of Pirates is getting jokes about being gentrified, not besieged.

Even the capture of Blackbeard by the Navy is treated as a feather in Wellington's cap but not a huge symbolic blow against piracy... because we just do not have that grand struggle woven into Act 1. You only know the "Golden Age of Piracy" is ending if you google it, or have watched a bunch of pirate shows.

Overall, a solid Act 1, well adapted to the kind of story they've said they were looking to tell - a romance in the (silly-fied) age of piracy, instead of a pirate adventure with a romantic subplot.

---

Now, Sidebar - Where is the story going?

The thing about the dramatic question - in OFMD's case: "What is Stede and Edward's happy ending?" - is that a) there's normally more than one question bundled up in that one + sideplots, and b) while you aren't supposed to have the answer yet, you can usually guess what needs to happen to give you the answer.

Back to our examples... Luke's driving question is "Will the Empire be defeated?" Simple. Straightforward. Also: "Will Luke become a Jedi?" The eventual climax of our story from there is pretty obvious... the story is over when Luke wins the war for the Rebellion in a Jedi way. That's the goal that they are working toward.

Pirates of the Caribbean is a bit more complicated. We're juggling more characters and have a less defined heroic journey, but there are driving questions like "Is Jack Sparrow a good man?" and "Is Will Turner a pirate / what does that mean?" and even "Will the British Navy defeat piracy?" They get basic answers in Curse of the Black Pearl, and far more defined ones in At World's End. Still, this is another plot-driven narrative. They've laid the foundations for the Pirates vs Empire struggle, and when that final battle turns into the trilogy climax then you know what's happening.

OFMD is not doing a plot-driven narrative. To judge how they are doing at their goals, we have to ask what they think a happy ending entails in a character sense.

Clearly it's not the classic romantic sideplot, where the climax is the first kiss / acknowledgement of feelings. They've teased a wedding in Word of God comments a lot, so that's probably our better endpoint. Specifically, though, a wedding where both of our protagonists aren't ready to flee from the altar (big ask) and where they've both grown enough that their flaws / mutual tendencies to run away from life problems won't tank the relationship.

In Stede's case it's still massive feelings of inadequacy and being too repressed to talk about his problems. Also he ran away from his family to chase a lifelong dream of being a pirate - "Is Stede going to find fulfillment in being a pirate captain, or will the real answer be love?" Edward meanwhile expresses a desire to quit piracy and retire Blackbeard, but we also find out he's struggling with massive self-loathing and guilt from killing his father - "Is retiring what Edward wants to do, or is he just running away?"

If they are going to get to a satisfying wedding beat at the climax of their story, what character beats do we need to hit in advance?

Off the top of my head - both characters need to self-realize their flaws (a pretty necessary demand of anyone who runs away from problems). They are set up to balance each other well, but also to miscommunicate easily. They have to tell each other about or verbally acknowledge that self-realization so it can be resolved. Stede has to decide how much being a pirate means to him. Edward has to decide if he's retiring and what he wants to do. They both need to show something to do with getting past their childhood traumas given all the flashbacks. Through all this, they also need to hit the normal romance beats that convince the audience they are romantically attracted to each other and like... want to get married.

Oh, and this is more of a genre-specific sideplot, but once they demonstrate a behavior that hurts the people who work for them, they need to then demonstrate later how it won't happen again. Proof of growth, which is kind of important in a comedy where a lot of the humor is based in them being massively self-centered assholes. Stede doesn't earn his acceptance in the community until he kicks Calico Jack off the ship, making up for causing the situation with Nigel in the first episode. A workplace comedy can get a lot of material from the boss as the worker's antagonist, but if you want the bosses to stay sympathetic you have got to throw them some opportunities to earn it.

All that sounds like a lot, but like - the relationship is the story, right? If we spend so much time on establishing flaws big enough to drive a story, we also have to spend time on fixing them. Which is where the turning point hits.

---

Act 2: How it Starts

This is where the full story reality-checks your protagonist. Glad you saved your boyfriend and embraced new love in Act 1, but his repressed guilt means he's about to completely ghost you, and your own abandonment issues and self-loathing are about to make his dick move into everyone else's problem.

Again, it's a non-conventional choice OFMD has this start at the very end of S1 rather than with a sudden dark turn in the S2 premiere, but it's still pretty clearly that point in the Three Act Structure.

In Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back opens with a timeskip to our Rebellion getting absolutely crushed and hiding on a miserable frozen planet. The Empire finds them as the plot is kicking off and they have to desperately flee. They get separated. Han and Leia try to go to an ally for help and end up in Vader's clutches. It's a sharp turn from the victorious note that A New Hope ended on.

Pirates of the Caribbean's Act 2 starts dark. Dead Man's Chest opens with our happy couple Will and Elizabeth getting arrested on their wedding day for the "happy end" escape of the last movie. Jack has not been having success since reclaiming his ship, and we'll soon find out he's being hunted by dark forces. As for the general state of piracy, we get a horrifying prison where pirates are being eaten alive by crows, and a new Lord Beckett making the dying state of piracy even more textual. "Jack Sparrow is a dying breed... The world is shrinking."

The key here is making a point that our heroes aren't ready. This is the struggles part - things they try? Fail. The odds do not look to be in their favor.

Now, OFMD apparently decided to go all-in on flaw exploration, especially with Edward. The first 3 episodes of S2 are brutally efficient in outlining Edward's backslide. In S1 you could see he had issues with guilt and feeling like a bad person. S2 devolves that into a destructive, suicidal spiral where Edward forces his crew into three months of consecutive raids, repeats his shocking act of cruelty with Izzy's toe offscreen (more than once!), escalates it with his leg, and finally they state directly that Edward hates himself for killing his dad so much that he fears he's fundamentally unlovable and better off dead.

Stede's struggles are subtler, but most definitely still there. He's deliberately turning a blind eye to tales of Edward's rampage, half from simply being too self-centered to care about the harms Edward causes others, and half from being unable to face or fathom that he had the ability to hurt Edward that much. Upon reunion he wants to put the whole thing behind them, not addressing why he left in the first place. Very "love magically fixes everything" of him, except Stede is no golden merman.

Interestingly, here, BlackBonnet's relationship dysfunction has very clearly been having a negative impact on the surrounding characters we care about. Make sense, since it's the driving force of the story, but that also adds a lot more relationships we need to make right. Like... Edward is the villain to his crew. The show focuses on their trauma and poisoned relationships with him. And then draws our attention even more to Stede taking his side to overrule their objections to him.

For a story where the conflict and required resolutions are primarily character based, and the setup had already given the main couple a good amount to work with, dedicating a lot of S2 to adding more ground to cover was... a choice. Potentially very compelling on the character end, certainly challenging on the writing end... but not a complete break with the structure.

Bold, but not damning.

---

Act 2: How it Ends

Now it is true that Act 2 tends to end on a loss. Luke is defeated by Vader and loses his hand, and Han has been sent away in carbonite. Jack Sparrow for all his efforts cannot escape his fate, and he and the Pearl are dragged to the locker.

But the loss is not the point. The loss is incidental to the point.

Act 2 is about struggles and failure, but it's also about lessons learned. There's a change that occurs, and our cast - defeated but not broken - enters the final act with the essential skills, motivation, knowledge, etc. that they lacked in the beginning.

Luke Skywalker could not have defeated the Empire in Return of the Jedi until he'd learned the truth about his father and resisted the Dark Side in The Empire Strikes Back. (Ok, confession, I'm using Star Wars as an example because literally everyone is doing so, but frankly it's a better example of formulaic Three Act Structure repeating within each movie because on a trilogy level - relevant to this comparison - it is a super basic hero's journey in a very recognized outfit and as such the Act 2 relevance is also... super basic "the hero tries to fight the antagonist too early" beat where he learns humility. Not really a lot going on. So, for the better example...)

Dead Man's Chest has a downer ending with the closing moment of the survivors regaining hope and a plan against an enemy now on the verge of total victory - a classic Act 2. But in that first loss against Davy Jones we get Will's personal motivation and oath to stab the heart, Jack finally overcoming not knowing what he wanted and returning to save them from the Kraken (being a good man), Elizabeth betraying Jack (being a pirate), Barbossa's return, and Norrington's choice to bargain for his prior life back. The mission to retrieve Jack from the World's End is the final movie's plot, but things are already on track to turn the tables back around as we enter the finale.

Now, relevant sidenote - one major difference between Three Act Structure within a single work vs across three parts is that Act 2 continues into Part 3, and only tips over into Act 3 about midway through. This is because obviously your final movie or season cannot just be the climax. That's why both movie examples start with a rescue mission. They have to still be missing something so they can get the plot of their third part accelerating while they go get whatever that something is.

But if you wait until the 3rd movie / season to get the development going at all - you're fucked.

Jack's decision in the climax of At World's End to make Elizabeth into the Pirate King goes back to the development we saw in the Pearl vs Kraken fight in Dead Man's Chest. So does Elizabeth's leadership arc. Will's whole arc about becoming Captain of the Dutchman gets built upon in the third movie, but it starts in the second. Not just as an idle thought - he's actively pursuing it. Already consciously weighing saving his father vs getting back to Elizabeth as soon as he makes the oath. Everyone is moving forward in Act 2. Their remaining development might stumble for drama, or they might be a bit reluctant, but I know that they know better than to let it stick, because they already faced their true crisis points.

I'm not sure we can say the same about OFMD.

S2 does a good job of adding problems, yeah, but there's not really any movement on fixing them. Our main couple stagnates in some ways, and regresses in others.

Stede opened Act 2 by running away in the middle of the night back to his wife without telling Edward anything. We know he did it because of feeling guilty and his core childhood trauma of his dad calling him a weak and inadequate failure. Now in S1 he actually speedruns a realization of his shitty behavior with Mary, but what about S2? Well...

He continues to not talk to Edward about... pretty much anything. My guy practiced love confessions galore but Edward only finds out about going back to his wife via Anne, and it gets brushed aside with a love confession. He seems to think Edward wants him to be a dashing pirate, or maybe he just thinks he should be a dashing pirate. Idk, it doesn't get examined. Regarding his captaincy, they give him an episode plot about Izzy teaching him to respect the crew's beliefs, but this is sideplot to a larger arc of him completely overruling their traumas and concerns (and shushing their objections) to keep his boyfriend on the ship so. That.

Stede kills a man for reasons related to his issues, shoves that down inside and has sex with Edward instead of acknowledging any bad feelings. At least this time Edward was there and knows it happened? Neither Chauncey's death nor his dad have been mentioned to anyone. He gets a day of piracy fame that goes to his head, gets dumped, and ends on a complete beat down by Zheng where he learns... idk. Being a boor is bad? He's still wildly callous to her in the finale, and spends the whole time seeking validation of his pirate skills. He reunites with Edward, kisses, and quotes Han Solo.

Where S1 ended on a great fuckery, his S2 naval uniform plan after they regroup is ill defined except to call it a suicide mission - and we don't get to see what it would have been because it devolves into a very straightforward fight and flee. And gets Izzy killed. Quick cut funeral (no acknowledgement of his S2 bonding with Izzy), quick cut to wedding (foreshadowing), quick cut to... innkeeper retirement? Unclear when or even if BlackBonnet discussed Stede's whole driving dream to be a pirate and live a life at sea, but I guess that got a big priority downgrade. Despite the fact he was literally looking to Zheng for pirate-based compliments in the post-funeral scene.

I guess he's borderline-delusionally dogged in his pursuit of love now - so unlikely to bolt again - but he's also got at least a decade of experience mentally checking out in a state of repression when he's unhappy. And he's stopped being as supportive and caring toward the crew in that dogged pursuit, while arguably demonstrating a loss in leadership skills, so, um, good thing someone else is in charge?

And if Stede is a mess, Edward's arc is so much worse.

As established, they devote the Kraken to making Edward worse. He literally wants to kill himself and destroy everyone around him in the process because Stede left, and this is fixed by... Stede coming back. That's it. The crew tries to murder him and then exiles him from the ship (and Izzy takes the lead on both, indicating exactly how isolated Edward has become), but it's resolved in half a day by Stede just forcing them to put up with his boyfriend again. Like they think he murdered Buttons and still have to move him back in???

The show consistently depicts Kraken Era as a transgression against the crew, but they also avoid showing Edward acting with genuine contrition. He admits he historically doesn't apologize for anything, and then mostly still doesn't. It's a joke that he's approaching probation as a performance (CEO apology), and then the only person he genuinely talks to is Fang - the one guy cool with him - and the only person who gets a basic "sorry" is Izzy - the guy he really needs to be talking to. Edward's primary trauma is guilt, but apparently he only feels it abstractly after all that? He's only concerned with fixing things with Stede, despite Stede being about the only person around who hurt him instead of the reverse.

Speaking of primary traumas, Edward hating himself doesn't really go anywhere after the beat of self-realization. Apparently Stede still loving him is enough of a bandaid to end the suicide chasing, but he doesn't like. Acknowledge that. Edward is maybe sorta trying to go slow so he doesn't hang all his self-worth on Stede again (you can speculate), but they a) absolutely fail to go slow, and b) he doesn't make any attempt to develop himself or another support structure. Just basically... "let's be friends a bit before hooking back up." And then we get the whiplash that is Blackbeard and/or retirement.

Kraken Era is Blackbeard but way worse, like no one who has known Blackbeard has ever seen him. In the Gravy Basket Edward claims he might like being an innkeeper, before destroying his own fantasy by having the spectre of Hornigold confront him over killing his dad. The BlackBonnet to Anne & Mary parallel says running away to China / retiring makes you want to kill each other - burn it all down and go back to piracy. Stede rightfully points out prior retirement plans were whims. Edward gets sick of the penance sack after a day and puts his leathers back on to go try "poison into positivity". But also claims to be an innkeeper (look - two whole mentions!) when trying not to send children to be pirates after teaching them important knife skills.

Killing Ned Low is a serious, bad thing that prompts ill-advised sex and then going hardcore into retirement mode - leathers overboard, talk about mermaid fantasy, get retirement blessings from Izzy, end up dumping Stede for a fishing job instead of talking about how he's enjoying piracy. The fishing job, however, is also a bad thing and a stupid decision because Edward is a lazy freeloader fantasizing about being a better person. We have an uncomfortable, extended scene of "Pop-Pop" weirdly echoing his abusive dad and then sending Edward to go do what he's good at - disassociate, brutally murder two guys, fish up the leathers, rise as the Kraken from the sea. He continues with comically efficient murder but also he's reading Stede's love letters and seeking to reunite with him so... wait, is this a good thing? Post makeout / mass slaughter he's trading compliments on his kills with Zheng so. Yeah. Looks like it. Murder is fine.

Wait, no, skip ahead and Izzy is dying and Edward suddenly cares a whole lot as Izzy makes his death scene about freeing Edward from Blackbeard. Now being a pirate was "encouraging the darkness" because Izzy - a guy who had little to no influence over Edward's behavior - just couldn't let Blackbeard go. Murder is bad again, and he is freed. Minus the little detail that the murder he explicitly hates himself over was not related to Blackbeard or piracy whatsoever, so presumably haunts "just Ed" still. Anyway he's retiring to run an inn with Stede now, as the "loving family" Izzy comforted him with in his dying moments sails away from the couple that can best be described as the antagonists of their S2 arc. Also Edward implicitly wants to get married. It's been 3 days since making out was "too fast". He's still wearing the leathers.

So most of the way through Act 2 and Edward's barely on speaking terms with anyone but Stede, who he has once again hung his entire life on really fast? Crushing guilt leads to self-hatred leads to mass murder and suicide, but only if he's upset so just avoid that. He's still regularly idealizing Stede as a non-fucked up golden mermaid person (that maybe he personally ruined a bit) because he barely knows the guy. His only progress on his future is "pirate" crossed out / rewritten / crossed out again a few times, "fisherman" crossed out, and "innkeeper ?"

Just.

Where is the forward movement?

It's not just that the inn will undoubtedly fall apart - it's that the inn will fall apart for the near-exact same reasons that China was going to at the beginning of Act 2, and I can't point to anything they've learned in the time since that will help them. I guess Stede realized he loved Edward enough to chase after him, but that was in S1! They should be further than this by now. You can't cram another crisis backslide, all the Act 2 development, and the full Act 3 climax into one season. Certainly not without it feeling like the characters magically fix themselves.

If they just fail and keep blindly stumbling into the same issues because they don't change their behavior, then Act 2 doesn't work. You're just repeating the turning point between Act 1 & Act 2 on a loop.

---

Where Did They Fuck Up?

Actually... lets start on what they did right.

The one consistent aspect of S2 that I praised and still think was done well in a vacuum (despite being mostly left out of the finale) was the crew's union-building arc.

With only 8 episodes and more to do in them than S1, side characters were going to get pinched even if the main plot was absolutely flawless. That was unavoidable. With budget cuts / scheduling issues, we regularly have crew members simply vanish offscreen outside of one scene, meaning cohesive arcs for your faves was not likely. Not to say they couldn't have done better - my benefit of the doubt for the TealOranges breakup and Oluwande x Zheng dried up about when I realized he was literally just her Stede stand-in for the parallel - but something like Jim's revenge plot from S1 was realistically not on the table without, like, turning half the crew into seagulls to afford it.

The union building works around this constraint really well. They turn "the crew" into the side arc, and then weave Izzy's beats in so that they aren't just about Izzy. The breakup boat crew working together to comfort each other and protect him turns them into a unit, and Stede's crew taking it upon themselves to address the trauma vibes while the captains aren't in the way solidifies it across all our side characters. The crew goes to war with Stede's cursed coat and wins, they Calypso their boss to throw a party, and they capitalize on a chance to make bank with an efficiency Stede could only dream of.

We don't get specific arcs, but Frenchie, Jim, and Oluwande are defaulted to as leaders in just about every situation, and Roach is constantly shown sharing his inventions with different characters. Individuals can dip in and out without feeling like the sideplots stutter. Any sense of community in S2 is coming from this arc - even if there are cracks at the points where it joins to other storylines (Stede and Edward, Zheng, etc.)

So why does it work? Well, because it's a workplace comedy, and you can tell they are familiar with working on those. They know where the beats are. They know where to find the humor. They know how to build off of S1 because they made sure the bones were already there - an eclectic group of individuals that start as just coworkers, but bond over time in the face of their struggle against an inept boss who they grow to care for and support while maintaining an increasingly friendly antagonism because, you know, inept boss.

OFMD does its best work in S2 when it's being true to its original concept... and its worst work when it seemingly loses confidence in its own premise.

"The show is the relationship," right? It's a romance set in a workplace comedy. The setup of Act 1 was all about creating a character-driven narrative. So given that... where the hell are we getting the dying of piracy and a war against the English Navy?

That's not a character-driven romcom backdrop, it's an action-adventure plot from Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails. It's plot-driven, creating an antagonistic force that results in your characters' problems. Once the story is about the fight against the Empire, the dramatic question becomes the same as those adventure stories - "Will the British Navy defeat piracy, and will our protagonists come out the other side of the battle?"

Forget the wedding. The wedding is no longer the climax of the story, its back to the happy ending flash our romantic subplot gets after winning this fight.

Except, of course, trying to pivot your story to a contradictory dramatic question near the end of Act 2 can be nothing short of a disaster, because either you were writing the wrong story until now, or you've completely lost the plot of the real one. I shouldn't even be trying to figure out if they are doing this, because it should be so obvious that they wouldn't.

And yet.

What do the Zheng and Ricky plots add to the story if not this? Neither of these characters have anything emotionally to contribute to Stede and Edward - they truly are plot elements. It's a hard break from the S1 antagonist model, but it also takes up a lot of valuable screentime. This was considered important, but still Zheng's personality and motivation only gets explored so far as it's an Edward-Stede-Izzy parallel with Oluwande and Auntie, and they only need the parallel for Izzy's genre-jumping death scene. Which follows a thematically out-of-left-field speech about how piracy is about belonging to something good (workable) and how Ricky could never destroy their spirits (um...?). And then David Jenkins is pointing to it and saying things about "the symbolic death of piracy" and speculating S3 might be about the crew getting "payback"??? An idea floated by Zheng right before our temporary retirement, btw.

Fuck, the final episode of S2 didn't have time for our main couple to talk to each other because it was so busy dealing with the mass explosion of Zheng's fleet and Ricky's victory gloat. We get lethal violence associated with traumatic flashbacks until they need to cut down enemy mooks like it's nothing, at which point we get jokes with Zheng. The Republic of Pirates is destroyed outright, and it feels like they only did it because they got insecure about their "pirate story" not having the right kind of stakes. Don't even get me started on killing a major character because "Piracy’s a dangerous occupation, and some characters should die," as if suspending disbelief on this aspect makes the story somehow lesser, instead of just being a fairly standard genre convention in comedy. Nobody complains about Kermit the Frog having an improbably good survival record.

Did someone tell them that the heroes have to lose a battle near the end of Act 2, so they scrambled to give them one?

Just... compare the wholly plot-driven struggle in 2x08 to Stede and Edward's character-focused storylines in 1x10 and tell me how 2x08 is providing anything nearly as valuable to the story. Because I can't fucking find it.

At best they wasted a bunch of time on a poorly integrated adventure plot as, like, Zheng's backstory or something, and just fucked it up horribly by trying to "step up" the kind of plot they did for Jim. In which case the whole thing will be awkwardly dropped but damage is done. Otherwise, they actually thought they could just casually add a subplot like this because they've done something wildly stupid like think "pirate" is a genre on the same level as "workplace comedy" and can just trample in-universe coherency while you draw on other media to shore up their unsupported beats.

Bringing us to the most infuriating bit...

---

"...end the second season in a kinder spot."

If this was the goal, the entire season was written to work actively against it in way that is baffling and incompetent.

The really ironic thing is that the reason that the Act 2 part typically gets a downer ending is because of the evil empire that OFMD did not have to deal with until they pointlessly added it. A plot-driven story has an antagonistic force - a villain - that the heroes need to defeat. Something external working against them. The story ends when they beat the thing, and it's not much of a climax if they do most of the defeating before you get there. Ergo, they have to be outmatched up to the climax. Ergo, the second part cannot end on them feeling pretty comfortable and confident going into the third.

The same rules do not apply in the same way to a character-driven arc.

We already established Edward and Stede declaring their love is not the end of the story. Nor, necessarily, is both of them confidently entering a relationship. Even once they've developed a bunch they will have to show that development by running into the kinds of problems that would have broken them up before and resolving them better.

David Jenkins keeps talking about this idea that S2 is getting a hopeful open ending and S3 will get into potential problems, and like... I don't see any reason why they couldn't have done that successfully. They didn't, but they could've.

If S2 grew them enough as characters and then had them agree to try again in the last minute of the finale, they absolutely could have had a kind and hopeful ending where you were confident they could do it. And then a potential S3 can show that. It's a bit rockier than they were counting on, but they have learned enough lessons to not break up. And then the overall plot can build to proposal (start of Act 3) and wedding (the romantic climax). It doesn't have to be a blow out fight to be emotionally cathartic.

(Hell, the main rockier bit that they overcome in the S3 Act 2 portions could be marriage baggage. I'm sure they both have some. It would work.)

In the same way focusing on our character's long term flaws and character-driven conflict makes an Act 1 "happy ending" more difficult, I suspect it makes an Act 2 "happy ending" easier.

Instead they wrote an Act 2 that failed to convincingly start development and got confused on its direction, and then presented a rushed finale ending in a copy of the predictable disaster from S1 as though it's a good thing. They yanked the story at least temporarily into an awkward place where a romcom is trying to sell me on a bunch of serious drama / adventure beats that it has not put the work into, and inviting comparisons to better versions of those same beats in other, more suited media that make it look worse. The need to portray everyone as reaching happy closure overrules sitting with a major character death and using it for any narrative significance, while still letting it overshadow those happy endings because a romcom just sloppily killed a major character with a wound they've literally looked into the camera and said was harmless.

If I'm being entirely honest, Dead Man's Chest ends effectively at Jack Sparrow's funeral and then cuts to the British Navy obtaining a weapon of mass destruction, and it still feels kinder and more hopeful just because I leave with more faith the characters are actively capable of and working toward solving their problems.

OFMD S2, in contrast, has half-convinced me our main couple would live in a mutually obsessed, miscommunication-ridden horror story until they die.

---

Additional Reading

Normally I link stuff like this in the post, but that requires more excitement than I'm feeling right now. Here's my alternative:

Where I thought they were going with Edward - really outlines the mountain of character development they still have unaddressed

Where I thought they were going with Izzy - touches on a lot of themes that might be dead in the water & also context that's still probably relevant to why Izzy got a lot of focus in S2

My scattershot 2x08 reactions

An ask where I sketched out the bones of this argument, and another where I was mostly venting about the fandom response

This one, this other one, and this last one (read the link in op's post too) about genre shifts and failure to pull them off

The trauma goes in the box but it never opens back up - the whole point of Act 2 is that they needed to start opening shit like that - and also they focus so much on needed character growth and so little on following through

They can't even carry through on character growth that we got last season???

Why Izzy's death feels like Bury Your Gays ran smack into shitty writing

EDIT: Oh and this post is REALLY good for outlining the lack of change in way less words than I did

[jaidens]

i have a request for daniel larusso!! so i just got done gossiping with my friend 💞 and i was thinking… what abt gossiping with daniel? like maybe reader and daniel and having a sleepover and they’re like gossiping with eacher 😭😭 while doing like makeup or skincare 😭💞??

You Heard The Rumors From Inez

pairing [s] : daniel larusso x reader

warning [s] : good ol’ gossip |

a/n [s] : thank you for the request! also gossiping is good for the soul sometimes.. [requests are open]

Daniel sometimes loved and hated his highschool.

On the good side, you went there and some of his friends did too.

On the bad side, the rumors and gossip spread like wildfire. There was barely any chance to tell anyone you were dating Daniel before it spread to everyone because you were caught holding his hand. It was easier, you told him, that you didn't have to tell people.

He never understood, why people spread rumors whenever he knew the damage of it. Especially when you're the butt of it all. He eventually got used to the rumors and sometimes it was hilarious to listen to.

You're sitting in front of your vanity, taking off your makeup (Daniel assumes) and you let out a loud gasp and turn down the mixtape Daniel made for your year anniversary. You twist around quickly before he questions what happened. “Did I not tell you what Samantha Jenkins told me yesterday?” You ask him to watch him gently shake his head no. “No you didn't baby.”

He's laying on your bed, throwing a trinket you had on your night stand. “Okay, so, basically Jessica Stevens found out that Danielle Cunningham slept with four guys while dating Freddy. And I mean, I couldn't believe it. So, I asked her. And she said, believe it or not, that's not all!” You're talking excitedly and waving your hands around in the air. Daniel sits on your bed and admires you.

“Oh yeah. Fred was air-headed last game. Danielle actually slept with that many guys? She would always go into the locker room to ‘to talk to Freddy’ that's whenever I found her and Ben in the bathroom.” Daniel tells you, pretending to shiver and gag. You laugh at his antics, “What are you putting on your face? It kinda looks like orange juice.” You laughed at his comparison of your Ten-O-Six lotion.

“It combats acne and stuff. I swear on my life by it. Okay, so she slept with Ben too? I only knew about Chase, Leon, and Tommy.” You turn your head to look at him and he nods with a weird look on his face. You close your vanity drawers after sticking everything back and you push your chair in. “You’re finally done now...” Daniel tells you holding his arms out and giving you his grabby hands. “Not can do. I'm gonna go get us face masks!”

You hear him let out a groan and you yell back, “Do it if you love me!” He stops his groaning suddenly and you give a small laugh whenever you grab your face masks from the cabinet. Once you walk back into your room, Daniel is sat up against the wall with pillows stacked up to his head.

He's messing with the channels on your television and scrolling aimlessly through them. You tell him to stop scrolling whenever you see one of your favorite movies, Secret Admirer. “Michael Ryan is so fine.” You whisper under your breath and you see Daniel cock his eye brow and give you a ‘are-you-serious?’ look. You laugh and sit down on your bed and Daniel pulls you into his lap.

His eyes are focused on your face as you get the face mask out of the tube to put it on Daniel's face. Daniel's hands go to your thighs rubbing soft circles whenever you push his hair out of his face. You apply the cold facemask onto his face he lets out a quick breath through his teeth. “Smells like lemons... mmm.”

Daniel's eyes close and you continue applying until your phone rings. You pick it up and Daniel hears a shriek on the other side. You and her talk for a couple seconds before you hang up and turn back to Daniel. “What was that baby?” He asks as he follows your face. “Steph’ just got the scoop on Angela Murphy. Apparently, she was talking smack about her best friend and they rumbled in Clarity Hills.”

You applied your mask while talking, Daniel sat and listened to things she had done to you. “She was always mean to everyone. In freshman year, she picked on me all the time. I never liked her. And hearing what she did to you? Bitchy.” Daniel laughs with you before feeling his face get tight. “The mask is making my face hurt.”

“That means it's ready! I'm gonna go ahead and pull it off okay?” He nods and closes his eyes and your hands go to his face and you start pulling it off. It comes off in one piece and he stares at it. “You pulled my face off!” Daniel jokes and you slap his shoulder gently.

You and Daniel stay there for a bit, laying and watching the movie. At the climax of the movie, you fall into a kiss with Daniel. He holds his lips before slowly deepening. The credits play and you turn the television off. “I love that movie. I saw it in theaters with Jessica and we both cried.”

You and Daniel laugh and he squeezes you tightly. “I love these nights with you. Especially the one we had after the tournament.” He teases in your ear, reminding you of the wild night you enjoyed with him on the warm Reseda night. “You tease.” You mumbled under your breath and kissed him again. “Thanks for coming over. I bet your Mom's happy.”

When you went to go look back up at him, he was asleep. You put the blanket over him and kiss him softly on his nose. “Goodnight, I love you.”

[piratesmyass]

No but Jenkins giving us reasons to love AND hate a character is so good. He challanges your view of them and makes you reevaluate. He changes the characters and adds to their story in ways which make you question if you were wrong about them or were too quick to judge.

Izzy is an angry abusive little shit, who spits and yells and fights with people. Here is him being vulnerable, breaking down from a terribly toxic relationship and undergoing an amputation.

Edward just wants some peace, look at his tragic backstory, he loves Stede so much, he wants to run away with him. Here is him maiming his first mate, being angry and violent and terribly toxic.

Stede is pathetic, he's a terrible pirate, a coward, a little bitch, left his wife and kids for the sea. Here's him gaining control and growing and learning and being actually capable

[cardsagainstthelibrarians]

Under a read more since this is a long post, but these are the cards I have so far for Cards Against the Librarians

Calls

Broaden your_ Harry Quick question Jenkins? _ It's not actually a _ ! Real love is , but that's what makes it When Jake rescued Vikram he was_ Flynn's always been a little _ The Library's newest enemy is _ The Library's latest artifact they need to collect is _ After Flynn and Eve became immortal, the thing they miss the most is _ The Librarians and_ To stop DOSA, Flynn and Eve tricked the LITs with_ Architecture is just_ That makes no sense, that's _ Nobody anticipated that Vikram's first act in the modern world would be _ You are a bad ! The agents at DOSA have grown tired of constantly hearing about My favorite thing they discussed at Electric Con was _

-

Responses

An Exercise in Herding Cats starring Eve Baird Mayor Moriarty Sheriff Baird FBI Agent Ezekiel Eve Baird Flynn Carsen Jenkins Judson Ezekiel Jones Jake Stone Cassandra Cillian Charlene Keeping the receipts Oktoberfest girl Flynn Creating a Tindr Profile for Jenkins Apep Prospero Cicily Cindy Kroeger Vikram Chamberlain Charlie Cornwall Connor Green Lysa Pascal Moriarty bringing the LITs cheesy skillets Still not a selfie

#ElectricCon

Eve in a chef costume Casskins Jassandra Jazekiel Fleve Floriarty Eviarty Fleviarty Trapped in a time bubble Inheriting a castle Trapped in a film noir movie Flynn being a little Wyle A one-sided rivalry between Connor and Ezekiel Ninjas in Oklahoma Letting Santa get to the third "Ho!" Dulaque with Ezekiel's pizza Don't think about it Castrella General Cynthia Rockwell Flynn pretending an ink pen was a deadly weapon Prospero's stripper heels Art we live in Spanish love poetry Vikram's lost love Isaac Stone with strategically placed lamps Librarian Maybe just a bit naughty Isaac Stone Lenore Jones Eve not driving into a swamp DOSA at a wilderness retreat A trainee guardian The 'I Fell Down' Show A fairy with anxiety Cassandra as Prince Charming Jake as The Huntsman Getting a mysterious bird and axe Tacos not helping Ray's fake beard A secret fourth 'Stone Triplet' who isn't even played by Christian Kane Being stunned by Jessica Green's ethereal beauty

[rmd-writes]

nine books

fine, you win @cha-melodius, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @kiwiana-writes, @clottedcreamfudge, @cricketnationrise, @liminalmemories21 @sherryvalli I will share nine favourites books/authors I will read no questions asked (aka Lims' variation), despite the fact that every time I get tagged I forget every book I’ve ever read.

with the somewhat shameful admission that I have read only one actual book in the last 12ish months 🙈 (but many hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic), in no particular order:

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston: no explanation necessary, right? This book is everything to me for so many reasons, not least that it brought me some of the best people I know 💖

Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen: I read this for school in year 9 and fell in love with romance as a genre. I reread it at least once a year for a very long time.

Song of the Lioness Quartet - Tamora Pierce (and all of the books set in Tortall tbh): yes, this is a series. Alanna and her adventures are very dear to my heart, and I love that in recent years, the author has said that if she was writing the books now, she’d probably describe Alanna as non-binary but she didn’t have that language when she wrote the books in the 80s. I’m very excited to introduce this quartet to my eldest soon.

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins: for a while, I devoured pretty much YA dystopian fiction book out there and this is the best of them. I’ve read them many times, and they hold a special place in my heart because they were a familiar, comforting reread at a very difficult time in my life.

The Snail & the Whale - Julia Donaldson: a children’s picture book, yes. But I’ve read it aloud hundreds of times to my kids and it’s just such a beautiful story about seeing the wonders of the world from a new perspective. It’s got such a lovely cadence and rhythm to it too, when read aloud.

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly: aka the one (1) book I’ve read recently. I preordered this because I really enjoyed her other book, Love & Other Disasters, but it sat unread on my kindle for months until a friend mentioned that they’d started it. A quick look at the blurb gave me similar vibes to Fifteen Hundred Miles, one of my all time favourite Schitt’s Creek fics, so I started it and I could barely put it down! I sobbed for the last 60 pages or so - sad and then happy tears and it was wonderful.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid: I loved everything about this. Compelling storytelling, with an imperfect protagonist who you hope succeeds despite her flaws.

and two authors who I’d read anything they published, without question:

Casey McQuiston - they haven’t failed me yet. I didn’t like I Kissed Shara Wheeler as much as RWRB and One Last Stop, but it was a good read and had characters who I love (Smith, my beloved). For a while there, I was convinced that it was going to take CMQ4 to break my book drought.

Alexis Hall - Boyfriend Material was the first book of his that I read, and I quickly read a lot of his back catalogue along with everything he’s published since and there’s nothing I’ve read that I haven’t enjoyed immensely. Plus, when I was on Twitter, I soon learned that Alexis loves to have a conversation almost entirely in Schitt’s Creek gifs and anyone who does that immediately endears themselves to me 😅

no pressure tagging: @pragmatic-optimist @nelsonnicholas @indomitable-love @welcometololaland @celeritas2997 @danieljradcliffe @howtosingit @swearphil @stereopticons (have another tag 😂) @reasonandfaithinharmony @guardian-angle22 @never-blooms

[superectojazzmage]

What was is that Cates was trying to do in his run, but failed at?

So basically, back during the whole Secret Empire period of Marvel, Donny Cates and Al Ewing both pitched ideas for big Hulk runs at the same time. Ewing’s pitch was a horror saga that eventually became Immortal Hulk. Cates’ run was his Smashtronaut story about “the Hulk’s Hulk”/an evil darkness entity and Bruce and Hulk having a super-adversarial relationship where they’re straight up enemies. Editorial basically made a compromise where Ewing could do his pitch first, and once he was done, Cates could do his if he still wanted to. So Ewing did Immortal Hulk, and Cates went off and did his Venom run (where he ended up using a number of ideas from his Hulk pitch; this is suspected to be where Knull originated from).

Immortal Hulk, of course, went on to be a massive hit and one of the greatest runs on Hulk ever, a series-defining run on the level of Peter David and Greg Pak’s work. It completely upended the status quo of Hulk and went in bold and insane new directions that really reinvigorated a series that had been badly stagnating. Ewing left the book hailed as one of the best Hulk writers ever.

So Cates had a pretty high bar to clear. And instead of reworking his old pitch to account for the changes brought on by Immortal… he just said “fuck it” and tried to do his pitch EXACTLY as he originally planned it, without regard for anything that happened in Immortal, and when he rarely did acknowledge Ewing’s work, is was in a very quick and dirty way that didn’t jive at all with how Immortal ended.

More than that, Cates’ run was SUPPOSED to be, apparently, a very dark and edgy sci-fi adventure kind of story that essentially raised questions about which personality was the real monster, Hulk or Banner, while also taking Hulk on a crazy cosmic journey. Cates seemed to really think he was breaking new ground. But he wasn’t. His run, particularly coming off the truly daring Immortal Hulk, was extremely derivative of better prior runs (an evil Hulk personality just like Paul Jenkins, going to space like Greg Pak, etc.) and showed a deep misunderstanding of the characters and prior lore, sometimes in deeply uncomfortable ways (Bruce’s especially vicious relationship with Savage Hulk in Cates’ run was clearly written without realizing that the previous runs REALLY drove home that Savage is LITERALLY a kid; turning Cates’ Bruce from a man at the end of his rope into a horrific abuser exploiting his power to torment an innocent child who — in the very previous run — had made peace with Bruce and risked his life to save him). It was an attempt to do something crazy and new that instead felt like a massive step backwards for the book. And that was before Cates’ crumbling personal life led to him struggling to keep writing and eventually having to step away early.

Philip Kennedy Johnson’s new run seems to be doing a vaguely similarish premise to Cates’ — Bruce and Hulk as enemies — but is doing it in a radically different and much more well-written way while being much more thematically and continuity-wise linked to Immortal Hulk, not only returning to the horror vibe of Immortal and picking up that run’s hanging threads and sequel hooks, but also all but ignoring Cates’ run. PKJ is essentially doing what Cates should’ve done and just picking up where Immortal Hulk left off while telling a genuinely new and unique story unlike anything Hulk has done before.

[literaticat]

Is it better to include an elevator pitch or not in a query? As an example, if the query is three paragraphs plus a bio, should it also have a one sentence elevator pitch at the top - do you recommend that or is it optional/doesn't matter either way? Which is better - elevator pitch, 3 paragraphs describing book, then bio, sign off or 3 paragraphs describing book (or 2 in some cases), bio, sign off, no one sentence pitch at top? I feel an agent might just read the first line then decide?

I have no questions in the inbox, but this was sitting in drafts for like -- a year? Haha. Sorry, original asker! I'm going to put this in the FAQ under Querying, as it's sort of the definitive "this is what you put in a query" answer, I think.

To answer your question: There are a lot of people who have a lot of rules and tips for queries, and here's what they DON'T usually tell you:

It doesn't really matter what order you put the elements of your query in, or three paragraphs vs two, or whatever whatever. Just include all the information we ask for and make it short enough to fit on a page. These are the ONLY two "technical" rules. Other than that - we just want it to be compelling. We want it to make us want to read the book. So make it how you like it! What sounds good to YOU?

Now. What you are calling the "elevator pitch", I'd call a log-line actually. I consider an elevator pitch to be something you are delivering in person - like if somebody asks, "hey what is your book about", your answer is nutshell elevator pitch. A log-line is a little shorter -- just the very top-of-the-treeline description about what we are about to look at.

Personally, if I were writing a query letter, I'd probably go like this:

Salutation: Dear so-and-so,

Short intro paragraph: I'm querying you for A REASON / I met you at A PLACE, etc. I'm delighted to share TITLE, a CATEGORY complete at WORDCOUNT about LOGLINE.

About the Book: 1 to 3 paragraphs. Mine would probably be two paragraphs: ONE paragraph about the book, expanding the log-line, ANOTHER short paragraph to wrap up the first paragraph as necessary.

Bio: Previous publications if applicable, if not just a little something about yourself.

Sign off: With social media handles, etc.

For example:

#1 - Salutation

#2 - Intro

I have such fun listening to your podcast, and when I saw on social media that you are a sloth fan, I figured it was kismet and I should send this your way! SLOTH COPS is a twisty MG whodunit complete at 60,000 words, about two polar opposite sloth police detectives who must team up if they are to have a hope of catching the mysterious tortoise murderer plaguing their city.

#3, flesh that logline out:

Captain of the Sloth Squad Callisto Jenkins is an experienced veteran on the force; she's seen it all in her day, and has the gallows humor to prove it. Officer Stormy McNair is a rookie on the beat, desperate to make his bones as detective and prove to every doubter that so-called "bad sloths" like him CAN solve crimes. A foolish mistake during an investigation causes Callisto to take Stormy's badge and gun away and consign him to desk duty, but the hothead rookie can't stand being benched and figures out a way to get involved with Callisto's last case before retirement -- the case of the Tortoiseville Strangler.

#3.5, close out the pitch part:

The strangler doesn't take kindly to sloth cops on his turf, and Stormy and Callisto soon find themselves embroiled in a case that is much bigger and more sinister than they could have imagined. It will take Callisto's patience and dedication to the hunt combined with Stormy's brazen attitude and quick wit to get them out of the Strangler's lair with their necks intact, and put the shadowy tortoise killer behind bars where he belongs.

#4 Bio :

I'm Fiona Q Whittlestone, and I'm a professional private detective, which sadly, is a lot less exciting day-to-day than movies would have you believe! I live in Palm Springs, CA, with a 100 year old Desert Tortoise named Ambrose who, as far as I know, has never committed a crime. SLOTH COPS is my first novel.

#5: Sign-Off

--

Now - 1 and 5 obviously have to stay where they are. In my opinion, 2/3/4 make the most sense in that order, and that's about the right amount of room for them. But if you wanna do a hooky log-line, then the about, then the nuts-and-bolts -- that's fine! If you'd rather introduce yourself THEN put the description of the book and then the nuts and bolts -- or you need only one paragraph for the book -- or you need three paragraphs for the book but it still fits on one page -- that's fine! We just need all the info, and we need it on one page. That's it.

[angelxxx444]

Senses - Sid Jenkins x Reader (Oneshot)

“Sid, pass me the spliff” You beg, as your words fall on deaf ears. It feels like minutes fly by before you try again. .

“Sid!” You shout again, an urgency in your voice as you snap your fingers in his face a couple of times to redirect his attention to you. 

“Oh, yeah, here,” he says, his eyes flickering to you for one moment as he carelessly hands it over to you before redirecting his attention elsewhere again. You roll your eyes at him (it's not like he's paying enough attention to notice anyway).

“Are you ogling at Michelle again?” You sneer at him, slight jealousy laced in your voice. 

“I'm not googling; it's not like that,” he defends, yet he still does not turn his gaze towards you. 

You give him a swift punch to his shoulder before getting up from the bar stool you were previously lounged on.

“I'm going to dance; you're welcome to come or continue your staring,” you say, the last part being merely a whisper. You place the spliff on the table and are quick to join the others on the dancefloor, not even sparing Sid another glance. 

You soon forget all about the previous interaction as you dance around the room, bumping and grinding with whoever is closest to you, occasionally stealing sips of people's drinks (and praying this wouldn't give you Mono). Eventually, you were tipsy enough to the point that everything was starting to become pixelated. All you could feel was your body swaying with the music as all senses were collapsing around you. 

“Hey, maybe you should take a break for a little” You knocked back into reality as Sid grabs a hold of your forearm, causing you to stop your dancing.

“Oh so now you're paying attention to me?” You questioned, rolling your eyes at him (which this time he noticed. 

“I'm just trying to be your friend here” He argues back.

“Well, have you considered that maybe that's not what I want?” You reply sharply before turning away from him again and making your way over to the smaller group of Chris, Anwar, Maxxie, and Jal. 

“Can one of you please just dance with me so I can pretend that didn't just happen?” You hurriedly ask, trying to avoid looking back at Sid.

“Hey, no problem by me Y/N,” Chris says with a wink as he quickly places both hands on your lower back (one being slightly closer to your as than the other). You lock your arms behind his neck as the both of you begin to just sway and grind onto each other. The music blares in your ears as you look around the room, searching for a certain someone. Your eyes meet the prize as Sid is in the corner sipping a beer, staring as you dance with Chris. You smirk at him before conjuring up your little plan ‘If I couldn't before, this might finally get your attention’. As the music changes you swiftly turn your back to Chris as you began to grind your ass into him, hearing him give a loud wolf whistle before running his hands all over your body. You throw your head back as he continues, locking eyes with Sid again, this time, you know you've caught his attention. He throws his beer can off to the side before he makes his way over to the both of you. You are whisked away as he takes you by the arm and pulls you apart from Chris.

“Hey! What gives?” Chris yells over the music, sending a glare towards Sid.

“I just need to borrow her” Sid replies before dragging you away from the rest of the group to where he previously resided. 

“Ok, so you got my attention, now what?” He questions you, clearly frustrated. 

“Oh sorry, I didn't realize you had stopped ogling Michelle?” You innocently reply, a slight smirk finding its way to your face.

“What is your problem?” He asks with an exasperated sigh, both hands gripping your shoulders.

“My problem is that you are so oblivious it hurts!” You shout at him, holding your head in your hands with anger.

“Well I'm sorry I just don't understand women,” he shrugs.

“That's not the point Sid” You reply with a sigh. “I just wanted you to pay attention to someone other than Michelle for once”

He opens his mouth to reply but then quickly stops himself, he looks down and sighs before returning his gaze to you with his stupid puppy dog eyes.

“I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am. With the whole situation between Tony and Michelle breaking up again, I've just been sort of occupied.” He responds, taking your hands in his.

“Look Sid, I'm not mad, it's just hard when the only person's attention I truly want is giving it to someone who won't even look their way” You regard, taking a slight dig at Sid (definitely deserved).

“How about we get out of here then? Go do something, just the two of us?” He (awkwardly) inquires, a shy smile spread across his face, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“I'd rather enjoy that” You reply, a deeper blush spreading across your own. He drags you out of the bar, neither of you even sparing a glance back to anyone else. The rest of the night is filled with delight as the two of you roam the streets, hand in hand. Eventually, the two of you end up sitting on a random park bench, chatting idly with each other. 

“I'm truly sorry again Y/N, i know my attention earlier tonight was elsewhere, but now looking back on it, I regret every second” He states, before turning towards you, making direct eye contact with you.

“I know now where my true attention should have been” He affirms while giving you a shy smile. You gently cup his face with your hand as you draw him in closer, all you can feel is his breath across your face as you both lean in. Your lips meet in a tender and compassionate kiss, mouths moving against each other with pure passion before eventually coming to a halt.

“I'm really glad you came to your senses” You affirm, a smile spreading across both your faces as you share a laugh. Wishing this night would never come to an end.

[ofmdrecaps]

10/29-30/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Con O'Neill; Nathan Foad; David Fane/Rachel House; MCM Comic Con Coverage w/AdoptOurCrew; In Person Events: Calypso's Birthday in Pittsburgh; Fan Spotlight: Gay Pirate News Hour; NeverLeftPodcast; AMuseOfFyre: Badmintons!; Love Notes;

Hey lovelies, my dad is once again trying to come home from the hospital tomorrow, and I am learning how to help with wound care, and tube feeds, so I have been completely and utterly wiped after coming home from that while also working full time (and no sleep because my kiddo had too much candy)-- so to be honest I have been taking some time to rest and doodle because I need it for my mental health! I'm slowly catching up, things are gonna be a bit bare bones while I get back into the groove of things. Hope you're all staying healthy and safe out there!

= David Jenkins =

Just a lovely picture of David and Kinga from earlier this year that Kinga shared a couple days ago.

Source: Kinga's Instagram

Also-- David's been sharing the adorable twerking gif by @smolbus over on twitter!

Source: David Jenkins Instagram

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys is keeping up with his Daily Doodles on his Substack! The last one there is.. uhm, well very specific (I love these goofy doodles btw I hope he never stops, reminds me of the Buttons McGinty illustrations). Check out the Darby Daily Doodles on his Substack!

Source: Rhys Free Substack

There are still tickets available for Rhys's Indianapolis show on Nov 7 at Helium Comedy Club! You can still get tickets here. The St Louis - Nov 8 - Helium Comedy Club is sold out!

If you're going to the IN show-- one of Rhys Buddies is really catering to the Rhys Darby fans and trying to giveaway his red solo cups that have been touched or looked at by Rhys! I'm so glad they know just how feral everyone is for Rhys Lightning.

And a quick clip of one of Rhys's Routines from the 25th anniversary!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Helium Comedy Club Indy (@heliumcomedyind)

Source: Helium Comedy Instagram

= Gizmo & Bumbles Darby =

As you know, I can't resist cat content, especially of Gizmo and Bumbles, so here you are-- Thanks Rosie for keeping us fed!

Source: Rosie's Instagram stories.

= Taika Waititi =

Taika was out at the world series, and the Dodgers won!

Source: Taika's Instagram

= Samba Schutte (and Con) =

Reminder! Samba's Death by Cheese class is one week away! Sat Nov 9th, at 10am PST online with Be Momentus!

Also check out this very goofy video of Samba and con Re: The dish you'll be making!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Samba Schutte (@sambaschutte)

Source: Samba's Instagram

= Nathan Foad =

When Nathan's not interviewing Kristian at cons, he's out with friends!

Source: Michelle Collins Instagram

= David Fane / Rachel House =

Moana2 just broke the 2024 record for most day 1 ticketing presales for an animated feature! Congrats Rachel, David, and Taika! So excited for you!

Source: Fandango's Instagram

= Con O'Neill =

After the recent showing of 'The Men' starring Con at the Alnwick Playhouse in the UK, Con did a Q & A with Rebecca of The Northern Film Blog! Check out the article below!

== MCM Comic Con Coverage ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew and their correspondents were kind enough film and transcribe some of the questions Nathan asked kristian at his panel at MCM Comic Con a couple weekends back! I'm sharing a screencap + the link to their tumblr posts with the videos (tumblr only lets me share one at a time on any given post) so please head over there and check them out! Question 1: "Nathan asks Kristian about his personal style and how the way he presents himself has changed over the years."

Question 2: Regarding Kristian's first time working with Revlon

Conversation About Kristan's Life Part 1

Conversation about Kristian's life PART 2:

== In Person Events: PA ==

It's that time again! Harold's Haunt in Pittsburgh PA will be hosting another Calypso's birthday, this time on Nov 9 at 6 pm!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ringa Sunn (@ringasunn)

Source: Harold's Haunt Instagram

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Gay Pirate News Hour =

It's time for another Gay Pirate News hour! Catch it on Our Flag Means Fanfiction's Youtube at 1PM PT/ 4PM ET!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

= Never Left Podcast =

New episode of Never Left! This time talking about Flags! (Part 1!) Check it out on your favorite listening platform on their linktr.ee!

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

= A Muse Of Fyre =

Our crewmate @amuseoffyre is back -- this time with the Badminton's! The Nigel flicking off the camera one is legit the funniest thing I've seen all week. Love it!

Source: Amuseoffyre's Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies, just a quick one tonight. I feel like TheLatestKate is basically just following me around because she always has new and appropriate love notes each week. Please please please go easy on yourself right now, you're doing so much, I know we all are. Please be kind to yourself, drink some water, and take a few extra moments of rest. You deserve it (whether you did a million things today, or just survived). Take care lovelies. See you soon.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @thelatestkate

Source: The LatestKate Instagram

[philocalistherz]

«──« ⋅ʚ Hi, October ɞ⋅ »──»

➴ october 1, 2024. ₊˚ෆ

M O N T H L Y R E C A P

ೃ⁀➷ monthly goals ༉‧₊

creative:

𖥔 finish the script for hiraeth.

𖥔 re read outsider.

𖥔 finish the chapter revisions.

𖥔 build and finish the chapter.

𖥔 organize a Keep document with ECDLB information.

academic:

𖥔 finish my editing and direction lectures.

𖥔 do the reading tables for each subject.

𖥔 mail the questions to my professors for feedback.

𖥔 ask for this past weeks notes.

𖥔 convince my professors to give me extra hours.

health:

𖥔 follow my med plan.

𖥔 drinking at least 1L of water a day.

𖥔 go to therapy.

𖥔 attend all my neurology appointments.

𖥔 being discharged from the hospital.

𖥔 Had a neutral level of lithium.

ೃ⁀➷ miscellaneous ༉‧₊

𖥔 wash all the damn laundry.

𖥔 organize my dorm when i get back home.

𖥔 have a meeting with my friend for the photographic project.

𖥔 get one permission to go out under supervision.

ೃ⁀➷ october’s routine ༉‧₊

💭 — at the hospital.

𖥔 wake up + brush teeth.

𖥔 breakfast.

𖥔 journaling.

𖥔 talk to the doctors.

𖥔 blood and other tests.

𖥔 workshops.

𖥔 quick shower

𖥔 meds.

𖥔 lunch + snacks.

𖥔 working on the novel.

𖥔 german lesson

𖥔 dinner + meds II

💭— normal life.

𖥔 wake up at 8 am + brush teeth

𖥔 quick shower.

𖥔 breakfast

𖥔 go to the uni library.

𖥔 do my notes and studying for the day’s subject.

𖥔 go to class.

𖥔 lunch + snack.

𖥔 call my mum + my friends.

𖥔 study one or two pomodoros at home.

ೃ⁀➷ october’s specials ༉‧₊

movies:

𖥔 dinner in america [watchlist]

𖥔 suncoast [watchlist]

𖥔 the substance [watchlist]

songs:

𖥔 champagne coast - blood orange

𖥔 small things - ben howard

𖥔 into the grove - madonna

𖥔 watermelon - john + jane

𖥔 angel - massive attack

𖥔 vienna - billy joel

𖥔 give me an answer - low roar

𖥔 her - the american dawn

books:

𖥔 a star is found ; janet hirshenson & jane jenkins - non fiction

𖥔 the art of dramatic writing ; lajos egri - non fiction

ೃ⁀➷ october-specific goals ༉‧₊

𖥔 keep a dump journal.

𖥔 conquer the fear of ruining my notebooks.

𖥔 finishing hiraeth’s first draft

𖥔 be consistent with what i can and what i like too.

𖥔 retake my projects and old activities.

𖥔 take more photos for my art account.

[Last updated october 1, 2024]

[jolikmc-thoughts]

How I ESCAPED a 2-WEEK Logout Trap on 2B2T by SalC1 on YouTube

This video was entertaining, but not for the intended reasons. Basically, it seems fantastical and almost farcical; like it was set up in advance so SalC1 had something "exciting" to post to his YouTube channel after the whole "2b2t v1.19" fiasco. I have further thoughts.

—

While I'm not saying it's "impossible" for this to have exactly as it does in the video, I find it difficult to believe that anyone would have the depravity, desperation, or sheer determination to "trap" a mildly famous YouTuber in a hole with the sole intent of pointlessly "killing" their character, let alone for a continuous two-week period. I'm not even questioning the feasibility of the "rescue operation" aspect. I've had friends who would go to great lengths for each other, but never have I known anyone so eager for a fleeting moment of "glory" that they'd resort to "corpse camping" a well-known individual in the community, all for the chance at a quick "gotcha, lol" and fifteen seconds of fame among like-minded individuals.

Furthermore, the level of cooperation among the campers raises suspicion. If they were truly "taking shifts" to wait for the YouTuber's return just to take the kill, wouldn't each of them want their own opportunity at "trolling" him? Additionally, the absence of the camper's "friends" during the rescue mission is peculiar. One would expect loyal guards to be at the ready in case something went wrong.

Overall, the story seems unrealistic, and my ability to suspend disbelief has its limits. While it's possible that the events occurred as described, it's also conceivable that it was fabricated for entertainment purposes, akin to the "Leeroy Jenkins" incident in World of Warcraft. Admittedly, I may not be fully attuned to the gaming culture of this generation, but even in games like Rust, there are bound to be moments of vulnerability between "guard shifts".

In short: it's hard to imagine the YouTuber logging in for two weeks, only to find someone standing guard at their "death hole" each and every time.

This post was revised by ChatGPT 3.5 for clarify and tone.

[cnadianintegrity]

Kaidan feels bad about Jenkins dying but knows there was nothing that could've been done differently to prevent it as opposed to Ashley dying on Virmire - he has major survivor's guilt over that one because it was preventable. It may have been Shepard's choice, but it doesn't change the fact that she died because he didn't. There's a good while that it bothers him beyond the quick conversation in game. Even more so if romancing Shepard because would the choice have been different if they weren't together?

There's also some semblance of survivor's guilt when Shepard dies from the Collector attack on the Normandy because yes, he followed orders and left to help get everyone else out safe, but there will always be that what if he hadn't, if he stayed to help Shepard instead. He knows the only thing it would probably change would be he'd be dead too, but it doesn't stop it from being a question in the back of his mind for a while after.

[bioticbooty]

Have a little Crosshairs-the-rewrite snippet preview because the next three days are gonna suck so hard at work, so I'm gonna spread a little joy before I do my work thing and get lost in the weeds of negotiations for the rest of the week. Tumbleweeds are about to blow through my blog till Saturday.

Pre-Eden Prime Normandy scene.

-----

Kaidan’s brow is positively dripping with sweat — he hasn’t trained this hard since basic. Poor Jenkins is still flopped on the floor after the end of the session, staring at the ceiling and catching his breath.

Kaidan’s not sure what’s worse — the fact that they have not one, but two N7s in the gym at the same time, or that Shepard doesn’t appear to have even broken a sweat. The XO seems to pull energy from another realm, just sucking it straight through as fuel. She’s relentless. Kaidan had considered himself to be in shape, but it seems to be Shepard’s personal mission to prove none of them were.

Except for her.

And maybe Anderson. The Captain surreptitiously wipes his brow when he thinks no one is looking, but he’s caught by Shepard. She slaps him bracingly across the shoulder and calls him ‘old man.’

Kaidan wipes his own brow. He’s got nothing to prove the way the Captain does. Jenkins is still on the floor, so Kaidan moves to stand above him. “You alright there, kid?”

Jenkins refocuses his eyes on Kaidan. His breath is still coming fast and quick. The kid had tried to keep pace with Shepard for the first half of the session, unaware of the time that had passed and how much longer they still had to go. That bit him in the ass in the second half when they switched to endurance.

“Think I’d rather you toss me across the gym again,” Jenkins says.

Kaidan barks a laugh, then offers the Corporal his hand and pulls him to his feet.

Throwing Jenkins across the room after being goaded by the Corporal — and Shepard — was hilarious. Kaidan thought for sure he’d overdone it, but then Jenkins popped right up off the mat, shouting, ‘that was awesome!’ and looking for a second round. Kaidan had not obliged him.

“You’re young, Jenkins,” Kaidan says as he guides Jenkins towards the water station, arm around his shoulders, “and if I might give you some advice?”

Jenkins nods fervently.

Kaidan leans in close and says, low, “Don’t try to keep pace with Shepard. She’ll knock you on your ass every time.”

Jenkins jerks his head back in surprise, and Kaidan laughs again.

Oh yeah, he’d seen the way the XO’s eyes had flashed deviously when she realized Jenkins was matching her pace for pace. Ramped up her pace slow enough that Jenkins never realized he was caught dead in her crosshairs.

“Did you keep pace?” Jenkins asks.

Kaidan shakes his head before the question is even finished. “I’m not really one for that kind of masochism.”

“Come now, Alenko,” Shepard appears in front of them and hands Jenkins a towel, “Don’t sell yourself short. You could probably give me a run for my money.”

Jenkins accepts the towel in awe.

Even in PT clothes, lounging against the water cooler, Shepard radiates intensity. Like she’s studying the room without even looking at it. Her eyes pierce everyone she looks at, and right now that gaze is laser focused on Kaidan. He feels naked.

He doesn’t want her to see that. “See, you’re just greasing me up so I’ll take the bait.”

Shepard tilts her head to the side in the lazy manner of a predator examining their prey. “Never said you’d win, Lieutenant.”

Despite himself, Kaidan stands straighter. “The bait’s looking a little shinier now, Commander.”

Shepard grins, fills her bottle with water, and saunters away.

After a moment, Jenkins taps his shoulder. “LT, I thought you said you weren’t a masochist?”

“Shepard more than implied she’d mop the floor with me,” Kaidan says by way of explanation.

“She said you’d give her a run for her money.”

“With the inevitable outcome that she’d win.”

“Wouldn’t she?”

Absolutely she would, he thinks. He’d have no chance in hell of coming out on top, despite his biotics. Before Jenkins had entered the gym, Shepard surprised Kaidan by standing in front of him and started the first move in the biotic-and-non-biotic warm up routine. It was the first time he’d not had to teach that one in all his years of service. It was a warm up meant to engender trust and familiarity, so the squad wouldn’t be caught by surprise. Biotic fields rippled outwards, no matter how refined the manipulation of energy. If the squad was caught by surprise by the static electricity and the minor shifts of gravity, it could blow an entire operation.

Shepard had executed every maneuver perfectly, responding to the subtle shifts in the well he created in a way no other marine he’d ever worked with had done. Even those aboard the Adelaide.

“That’s besides the point.”

Kaidan drains the last of his water.

Jenkins studies him for a moment. “I think you might be a little bit of a masochist, LT.”

Kaidan refills his water bottle and heads towards the showers. “Comes with the commission.”

[iviarellereads]

A Wind in the Door, Chapter 1 - Charles Wallace's Dragons

(THIS PROJECT IS SPOILER FREE! No spoilers past the chapter you click on. Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index for the Time Quintet, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which L'Engle lets our imaginations run away with us.

“What, nephew,” said the king, “is the wind in that door?”(1) SIR THOMAS MALORY Le Morte d’Arthur

We pick up our story with Charles telling Meg there are dragons in the vegetable garden. Meg makes a sandwich, ignoring Charles's statement in favour of a snack and evaluating that some bullies roughed him up again today, just like every week in the two months he's been in school

Charles lightly reads Meg's mind and sees that she's doubting him about the dragons. He asks her to finish her sandwich and come with him. Meg knows he must have seen something unusual, but is too grounded to believe in dragons, even after all they've seen together. Charles wonders if Mr. Jenkins has seen a dragon. Meg thinks how Mr. Jenkins wouldn't try to stop the bullies, would he, and says aloud that he "believes in the law of the jungle", at which she questions, also aloud, if there are dragons in jungles. Charles asks that she stop stalling and go see if the dragons are still there.

With Fortinbras, their faithful almost-Labrador, they go to the vegetable patch. Meg trips over a forgotten croquet hoop from their last family game, and then notices that Charles is breathing heavily despite their leisurely walk. She asks if he's alright, and he says their mother was upset when he got home, at more than the kids beating him up. She's noticed that he tires quickly, lately. Meg starts blaming herself for not noticing sooner, and Charles tells her to stop. (2)

Their mother's friend, Dr. Louise, came over for lunch and gave Charles a quick checkup. Charles can't read her well, but she seemed to think Mrs. Murry was right about whatever she thought was wrong.(3)

Finally, they come to the other side of the orchard, and the spot where Charles last saw the dragons. Unfortunately, they've gone. Charles is upset, and Meg asks if he's sure it wasn't just "rocks or shadows or something", but Charles counter-asks if she's ever seen a rock or shadow that looked like dragons. He describes them as a cluster of wings and eyes and spurts of flame. He told them loudly to not set the pasture on fire. The flames stopped, and he stayed there watching them until they seemed to have fallen asleep. That's when he went home to wait for Meg.

Meg asks where they could have gone. Charles is further upset that Meg doesn't believe him. Meg says she knows he saw something, and thinks she's just not sure about it being dragons. She tells him she's going to go get a sweater, and to try to keep the dragons here for her to see if they come back before she does. Charles tells her their mother doesn't want to be disturbed, and she says she's not going to do that.

So, of course, Meg goes right to the laboratory. She lightly harasses Mrs. Murry into telling her as much as she knows, which isn't much. Dr. (Louise) Colubra doesn't know what it is, either, but they should have a better answer in a few days. When Mrs. Murry asks where he is now, Meg says he's just out on the stone wall, waiting for her. Meg grabs a cardigan and rushes back out to him.

Alas, there are still no dragons. Charles asks if Mrs. Murry mentioned mitochondria or farandolae. Meg asks why she would, and isn't that what got Charles in trouble on his first day at school? Charles says he's interested in them, and in the dragons that haven't come back.

While they wait a bit longer, Charles thanks Meg for trying to reason with Mr. Jenkins for him. Meg thought that secret was better buried, and says it didn't do any good. She thinks back to the visit, after the first day of school left him beat up for being so bad at pretending to be a normal child, after several more beatings after that. They couldn't move Charles up, because the kids would be even bigger than him.(4) Meg got off the high school bus in the village to walk the rest of the way to the grade school, an hour before classes would start, to talk to him. Only, he already didn't like her much, and he was thoroughly unhelpful about Charles.

In the present, two months or so later, Charles asks why people mistrust those who are different, and if he's really all that different at all. Meg, with a note about having recently had her orthodontics removed,(5) says she's too close to him to know, unfortunately. She starts checking the wall for the snake that lives there, which the twins named Louise the Larger after Dr. Colubra, because of her last name. Dr. Louise, for her part, was amused and honored. After all, snakes are on the caduceus, the most well-known emblem of doctors.

Meg muses as to how the twins manage to fit in as well as they do in school, when they're not dumb either. She remarks that they talk a little differently at school. Charles says he just thought if he was interested in mitochondria and farandolae, that others might be as well. Meg says that's probably not unusual for the son of two scientists, but most people aren't that. Charles starts talking about farandolae and how tiny they are, even electron microscopes can't show them, but the theory stands that we'd die without them. Meg asks why Charles is so interested in them, and Charles says, because their mother is working on them.

At his sister's insistence, Charles continues explaining that farandolae live in symbiosis with the mitochondria, just like mitochondria live in symbiosis with us. Mitochondria need farandolae as much as we need mitochondria, and if their mother proves they exist, it could win her a Nobel Prize. And, Charles believes Mrs. Murry believes that something's wrong with his mitochondria.

Meg's fear starts to take her over again, as she asks how serious it might be, and if there's a treatment. Charles doesn't know, it's not like their mother really talks to him much, he has to guess from what he can telepath from her.

Before the conversation can continue much further than that, Charles remarks that Louise the snake is coming. He reads from her, and says she saw a very tall man approaching. Sure enough, a tall, dark shape is moving through the brush, and Fort goes running with his joyful, greeting bark for the family, except he stops partway and sniffs around one of the rocks. Charles and Meg go to investigate, and find a small pile of shiny, fancy feathers, such as might actually belong to dragons.(6)

=====

(1) A quote from a story of Sir Gareth. I'm not very skilled at examining really old texts, so I don't know quite what it means, but I can provide its context. It comes just after Gareth and Dame Liones have professed their love for one another. Arthur says this and continues that he won't stand in their way, they have his love and his support. What could that mean for this story? (2) For one, worrying is a good older sister's job. For two, Charles really needs to pick up some telepath ethics. (3) Nothing like a vague lack of explanation to let your mind fill in the blanks with the worst it can imagine, huh? At least until we see the end of the chapter. (4) Bigger, certainly. But, equally as cruel? Well, perhaps even so, since even the adults in this fictional town are cruel about him. (5) As someone who had braces, I can attest that you sort of… forget they're there, until they're gone, and then you remember them and the habits you had with them for quite a long while afterward. But, is there more to the strange asides L'Engle keeps making? Could this be a commentary on something else about the discussion at hand? Genuine question, I feel like it should be, but I'm not seeing how it could be, except as a note of what different places Meg and Charles are at in their young lives. (6) So, who was the figure, and what are the feathers? Who or what did Charles Wallace see?