#Jeffrey - Joseph - come on

[mindfulldsliving]

Alma 15:16-18 and Matthew 16:24-26: A Deeper Understanding of True Discipleship

When Jesus invites us to take up our cross and follow Him, He is not merely calling for symbolic gestures; He asks for genuine transformation and a life lived in pursuit of righteousness.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash True discipleship is a profound journey of faith that calls for complete surrender and a deep commitment to Christ’s teachings. In both Alma 15:16-18 and Matthew 16:24-26, we find striking examples of what it truly means to follow Jesus, emphasizing the need for self-denial, sacrifice, and unwavering devotion. When Jesus invites us to take up our cross and…

[asongoftearsandfandoms]

I just read every single item on this menu, and I now want a pop-up Night Vale town that has this cafe at one end and the Moonlite All-Night Diner at the other, and I want actual dish descriptions to look like this on the menu (actually, I want this menu to just be the menu), and idk i think it's possible.

Obviously irl some of the "crazy ingredients" would have to be eccentric-but-still-edible-and-complementary ingredients. Like the twigs in the dirty chai could be cinnamon sticks sticking out, and the leaves could be mint or some other complimentary herb plant, and the mud could be like just a pile of wet chocolate curls at the bottom of the cup. Anything with glass in it could have those clear sugar glass shards they do on all those dessert competition shows. Scrap metal could be jerky sprayed with that metallic edible spray paint. IT'S POSSIBLE IS ALL I'M SAYING.

Either way, I love this, I love this menu, and I want to eat here.

breakfast and lunch menus for the sunlite all-day café are done!

[unfortunatelyevent]

well fuck me heard that the second wtnv novel "it devours" is about Carlos and now I NEED to have it

[metamorphesque]

💌 poems for the month of love 💌

Having a Coke with You by Frank O’Hara

The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel

Wait For Me by Konstantin Simonov (tr. by Mike Munford)

A Kiss on the Forehead by Marina Tsvetaeva

Love by Joseph Brodsky

Your Unripe Love by Paruyr Sevak (from “Anthology of Armenian poetry")

Love poem by Tishani Doshi 

Maybe Under Some Other Sky by Willie Perdomo

Warming Her Pearls by Carol Ann Duffy

Ich finde dich (I find you) by Rainer Maria Rilke

Where does such tenderness come from? by Marina Tsvetaeva

I Loved You by Alexander Pushkin

Like a Small Café, That’s Love by Mahmoud Darwish (translated by Mohammad Shaheen)

Our Story by William Stafford

The Kiss by Sara Teasdale

[kerink]

in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic

welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.

it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014

despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014

for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best

we created a tumblr sexyman

from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."

know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.

so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?

however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck

haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.

throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika

kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get

their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time

and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices

i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...

cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today

cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.

although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past

#cecilsweep

[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.

Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose

[thesixthruin]

i don't fandom post here but. currently obsessed with welcome to night vale again and can't stop thinking about episode 221 (glow cloud, explained). keep thinking about dr. janet lubelle "explaining away" things as acts of both a disruption of collective faith and a killing of creativity.

we (as the audience) have witnessed cosmic horror as the everyday in that town for a whole decade. we, just like the citizens of night vale, take it as normal, or as adaptive to be normal. and then lubelle comes in and disrupts it to the point of death. she rendered a god useless. she killed a sentient river rock. even when cecil tries to chant all hail, all hail the glow cloud, the magic is gone. the faith is gone. it's been explained, unravelled, revealed to whatever kind of truth "science" has applied to it.

also, it serves as an allegory for how, when you try to explain your work to an audience, it kind of kills it? especially any writing that is absurdist or surrealist. explaining why the glow cloud even exists, or trying to pick it apart, renders it and the magic of night vale (both story and podcast) useless. the glow cloud is fun because it is a glow cloud that drops dead animals! we found out it was a god too! it has a child! isn't that whimsical and horrifying and brilliant? does it need explaining? no! and it's heartbreaking when it is! it's such a staple of the series and it's smart of joseph/jeffrey to play around with this after 10 years of creating and writing for this beloved show.

(also, if you decide to engage with this post, please do not share spoilers for future episodes, i am still playing catch up).

[nightvaleofficial]

Come hang out with Night Vale creators Jeffrey and Joseph at 5pm est today! Not a Patreon member yet? Join here as a Weird scout or higher member: https://www.patreon.com/welcometonightvale

[goosemixtapes]

max's favorite short stories & articles!

to be updated as i read new things! "articles" could be anything from political points to philosophical musings to fascinating stories. obligatory statement that i don't necessarily agree with everything in every one of these stories/articles, but i think about them a lot and want to share :)

short stories

Avi Cantor Has Six Months To Live by Sacha Lamb (@kuttithevangu) (novella) (so says the writing on the bathroom mirror. of gender & judaism & magic and t4t trans guys. cw for suicidal ideation and bullying)

Epistolary by Sascha Lamb ("The [stuffed] frog you are selling on your blog is MINE and he is NOT HAUNTED and his name is MOSHE not BILLY HOPPER.")

Chokechain by Andrew Joseph White (a trans man discovers his parents have replaced him with a robot version of his pretransition self. cw for transphobia and violence)

Sandrine by Alexandra Munck (the tagline for this one is "I dated a sun god in college" but that doesn't do justice to the sheer concept here please read this)

You Wouldn't Have Known About Me by Calvin Gimpelevich (set in a hospital ward where patients are recovering from gender-confirming surgery)

No Flight Without the Shatter by Brooke Bolander (novella) ("After the world’s end, the last young human learns a final lesson from Earth’s remaining animals." cw for climate change/extinction)

And You Shall Know Her By The Trail Of Dead by Brooke Bolander (what if you had to death-match-fight a virtual version of yourself at your meanest made by your boyfriend whose life you're trying to save would that be fucked up or what. cws for guns and violence)

Hell is the Absence of God by Ted Chiang (stories that clock you in the fucking teeth in the religious trauma.)

A Serpent for Each Year by Tamara Jerée (microfiction) ("Our relationship is almost a year old when I ask Nal why she is covered in snakes." cw for animal death)

The Front Line by W.C. Dunlap (microfiction) (cited as one of the world's finest attention-grabber openings. cws for police brutality, racism, and SA)

Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience by Rebecca Roanhorse (step into the simulation and gain an authentic experience! cws for anti-Native racism and alcohol)

The Husband Stitch by Carmen Maria Machado (one of the best stories ever written. once there was a girl with a green ribbon around her neck...)

City of Red Midnight by Usman T. Malik (a chronicle of nested stories-within-stories, set in old fantasy pakistan, inverting a myth from the one hundred and one nights)

We Work In Miraculous Cages by Brenda Peynado (following a college grad drowning in loans through the nightmare of neverending work)

Other Worlds and This One by Cadwell Turnbull (a brotherly relationship collides with a theory about atomic particles, space, and time)

And Then There Were (N-One) by Sarah Pinsker (a convention of alternate-universe selves--all Sarah Pinskers--becomes a murder mystery)

Fandom For Witches by Ruoxi Chen (fuck every other thing ever written about fandom)

Haunted Home by Conrad Loyer ("The ship features a recreation of a slave ship’s hold. The cruise prides itself on it. It is not a good recreation, if the metric is realism.")

articles & essays

Lockhart's Lament (on how math is taught in schools. that is, badly. one of the most cathartic essays i've ever read on education)

Against Cop Shit by Jeffrey Moro (on adversarial education)

Debunking "Trans Women Are Not Women" Arguments by Julia Serano (comprehensive, well-written, good to have as a reference point)

On Liking Women by Andrea Long Chu (and on the politics of desire)

Turning a Unicorn Into a Bat by Josh and Lolly Weed (on Mormonism, love, and whether a gay man and a straight woman can marry happily. cw for homophobia)

Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price (musings on motivation from a social psychologist and professor)

How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation by Anne Helen Peterson (how come everything happens so much?)

White Women Drive Me Crazy by Aisha Mirza (on the harm caused by white women. cw for racism)

Everything You Know About Obesity Is Wrong by Michael Hobbes (should be required reading for everyone at this point. cw for fatphobia and eating disorders)

Becoming Anne Frank by Dara Horn (on the cultural fascination with Anne Frank. cw for antisemitism)

The Ecstasy of Influence by Jonathan Lethem ([on/a] plagiarism)

On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People by Patricia Taxxon (video essay) (ostensibly what the title says, but actually a detailed musing on the essential properties of furry media and the freedom of dehumanization; changed my life a bit)

[babiebom]

Dbd Killers as Nicknames my friends and I use in game

A/N: because i think. I only have like one thing posted for dbd. These are the Male Killers!

Tw:maybe cursing? None? Slight sexualization of certain killers?

Genre:headcanons? Or written like headcanons at least

Wc: maybe 3+ for each killer?

The Trapper/Evan Macmillan

Has no nickname

Is just "the trapper"

Always said in a panic tho

Is usually called a "stupid stupid man"

The Clown/Jeffrey Hawk

"Oh it's *imitation of him coughing*"

His nickname is just us coughing in gross ways

Also "you absolute baboon" by when we're upset

The Ghostface/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson

My boyfriend

I exclusively call him this

Everyone else says "oh no your boyfriend is here"

Or we call him Ghost-a Fa-che in really bad italian accents

The Executioner/Pyramid Head

Conehead

Forgot the word pyramid

Also trianglehead

Usually proceeded or followed by "ewwwwww why is he sludging up the place????"

The Twins/Victor Deshayes

Ugly little baby

We forgot that he is not really a baby

We also call him Viktor Vector

Usually followed by "kill her little baby"

Or "stomp on himmmmm"

Then "yeah that's what you get you ugly baby"

The Mastermind/Albert Wesker

Lil Kitty Meow Meow

Bc I accidentally called him whisker

And that reminded me of the Lil kitty meow meow meme

Is usually followed by his "urgh" when he does the dashy thing

The Nemesis/Nemesis

Nemesussy

It was a slip of the tongue that stuck

I also call him Thanos half the time

I forget his name and panic

Then call him Thanos because big purple man

Usually proceeded by "oh god it's Thanos I can see his stupid little zombies"

The Doctor/Herman Carter

Has no nickname but is usually called out by saying "sorry I can't talk right now he's ELECTROCUTING ME"

followed by imitations of his laugh

The Legion/Frank&Joey

I do not know how to write this

It's literally just The Legion but pronounced with a very bad French accent

Also Franklin or Frankie-boy

And Josepher and "which one is this one again"

The Trickster/Jiwoon Hak

We either call him Trickster

Or Jungkook from Bts(yes this whole thing)

Is usually followed by "bob and weave and bob and weave"

Or is followed by "please dont kamsahamnida me"

The Wraith/ Phillip Ojomo

Bing Bong

Because when he hits his little thing it goes Bing Bong

Usually proceeded by "oh god" and "please don't be bingbong"

Usually followed by "oh god where did he go"

The Hillbilly/ Max Thompson Jr

We just call him by Max

I usually call him Maxie-poo

Cute

The Cannibal/ Bubba Sawyer

Like Max we just call Bubba by Bubba

Bubba is a cute nickname in of itself

The Oni/Kazan Yamaoka

Onigiri

Because I said "Oni? Like onigiri?"

Followed by screaming or "someone stop him he's eating my blood"

The Deathslinger/Caleb Quinn

Rootie tootie mcshooty shooty

Because it's funny

Also sometimes call him the hashslinger

Or hashslinging slashed

From spongebob because we again forgot his name

The Shape/Michael Myers

Miku Miku

Because I panicked when I saw him and could not speak or remember his name for the life of me

Usually followed by "oh god this is gonna be a bad match"

Also followed by singing the song but only by saying Bing and bong.

The Nightmare/Freddy Kreuger

"Ew its stupid what's his face....sleepytime....nightnight"

Has no real nickname because we're not happy to see him

"Why is there blood coming out of this...oh."

"Haha your neck is bent weird"

The Blight/Talbot Grimes

Incoherent screaming

Literally it's "uhhhh HA HUHHHH WHA HELP"

Followed by "why is he so fast?"

Or is called speedy Gonzales or Sonic

The Knight/Tarhos Kovács

I have accidentally called him the borgo

We also just call him the knight or just scream

The Cenobite/Elliot Spencer

Pinhead

I find it funny that that is an actual name for him

Because we usually call him that

The Demogorgon(?)

Or "stupid pinhead" but you get the gist

Also BabyBox

Bad doggie

He is a dog that is bad because he keeps biting me with his weird little face

The Dredge(?)

Is this thing a male? Idk but it counts

Again we are bad at remembering names

Half the time he is called the sludge

Usually followed by "why is it nighttime"

[cowboy-heart]

also, i recently gathered all of my favourite poems (by other writers) into a single PDF for myself and decided to share it on my ko-fi!

it’s 106 pages, 62 poems, with an index, and links and credits to all the writers! and it’s free!

it’s a mix of published poets, blog excerpts, and internet poets, covering themes of love, grief, living, butch-femme, LGBT, nature and justice! - full list of contents in read more :)

it’s free since it’s not my own original work, but if you wanna tip for making the PDF then it’s much appreciated!! 🧡

(sidenote: if you/your work has appeared in this and you want it removed or edited, let me know and i’ll do so immediately!)

After The Threesome, They Both Take You Home’ - Sue Hyon Bae

‘Come, And Be My Baby’ - Maya Angelou

‘Witness’ - Crystal Wilkinson

‘lady macbeth-macbeth’ - @two-bees-poetry

‘how to spend an august afternoon in love’ - @cheruib

‘Chocolate Chip Pancakes’ - Caitlyn Siehl

‘The Teapot’ - Robert Bly

‘Little Weirds’ (excerpt) - Jenny Slate

‘Writing Prompts for the Broken-Hearted’ (excerpt) - Eden Robinson

‘Perhaps The World Ends Here’ - Joy Harjo

‘The Serious Downer’ - Jill McDonough

‘Summer Was Forever’ - Chen Chen

‘For Grace, After A Party’ - Frank O’Hara

‘A Vow’ - Wendy Cope

‘Laura, I Want You Pulling Your Hair Back’ - Natalie Dunn

‘Watching you talk on the phone, I consider the empty space around atoms-‘ - Rhiannon McGavin

‘Gram Loves You. Please Call’ - Amy Gotliffe

‘The Quiet World’ - Jeffrey McDaniel

‘the undone cowboy writes to his sweetheart’ - Silas Denver Melvin ( @sweatermuppet )

‘Song of the Anti-Sisyphus’ - Chen Chen

‘RURAL BOYS WATCH THE APOCALYPSE’ - Keaton St. James

‘A Possible Exit’ - Jarrett Moseley

‘poem on my fortieth birthday to my mother who died young’ - Lucille Clifton

‘ANSWERING HER QUESTION’ - Alice White

‘when the one you thought, finally, wouldn’t, does’ - Marty McConnell

‘fourth grader’ (excerpt)

‘Poem’ - Langston Hughes

‘For M’ - Mikko Harvey

‘A Drink of Water’ - Jeffrey Harrison

‘Cold Solace’ - Anna Belle Kaufman

‘Boot Theory’ - Richard Siken

‘Love letter as an autism diagnosis’ - Arden Kowalski

‘Tea’ - Leila Chatti

‘Night Walk’ - Frank Wright

‘Don’t Hesitate’ - Mary Oliver

‘For A Student Who Used AI To Write A Paper’ - Joseph Fasano

‘Rain’ - Raymond Carver

Unnamed/‘who’s afraid of hoverflies?’ - @a-chilleus

‘The Orange’ - Wendy Cope

‘Failing and Flying’ - Jack Gilbert

‘Can’t Get Enough Of My Love’ - Shuyler Peck

‘Invitation’ - Mary Oliver

‘Dead Rat’ - Mervyn Peake

‘Wild Geese’ - Mary Oliver

‘I Imagine The Butch’s Stripper Bar’ - Jill McDonough

‘FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO’ - Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Unnamed (fake interview) - @llovely

‘Butch Please: A Letter To Baby Butches’ - Kate

‘ROUND TWO: the body as protest’ - Joelle Taylor

‘ROUND SEVEN: the body as uprising’ - Joelle Taylor

‘Angel’ - Joelle Taylor

‘Catallus 16’

‘15. Fan Letter’ - James Crewes

‘Make Out Sonnet’ - F. Douglas Brown

‘Hey Cowboy’ - Silas Denver Melvin ( @sweatermuppet )

‘Fat Top/Switch’ - Emilia Phillips

‘On a Night of the Full Moon’ - Audre Lorde

‘The Gardens’ - Mary Oliver

‘Want’ - Joan Larkin

‘Social Skills Training’ - Solmaz Sherif

‘Bullet Points’ - Jericho Brown

Unnamed - Marwan Makhoul

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Before we officially settle on Brinknor as the new title for the writers, may I humbly propose the alternative:

Finknoriams.

I like this for a few reasons. 1, and most important, is because it sounds like a kind of mysterious ailment. Like hey man are you okay? No, I have a case of the Finknoriams (Janet hasn't come back yet and it's making me sad.) I also don't like that two of the writers have their last name in the mish-mash, but one of them has their first name. It shouldn't be BRie williams, joseph FINK and jeffrey craNOR, doesn't that look weird? We should incorporate Brie Williams's last name just like Fink and Cranor have theirs incorporated.

Third, it places the last names in the order that they joined the project. Fink is the creator, Cranor came on as the co-writer, and Williams got boosted from part-time to full-time writer this past year.

So what do you think?

[writing-relatedactivities]

Joseph Fink:

I don't have much useful to add. I was confident about the outcome of this election and I was wrong so I don't feel confident in anything else.

But I just wanted to offer two things: a memory and a gift.

When the 2016 election happened, Meg and I were living in a cramped AirBNB in London while Meg and Jeffrey helped start the London neo-futurist theater company. I wanted nothing more than to shut down for a few weeks after that terrible night, but I was too busy. We were in final frantic edits on our second novel, It Devours!, and then we had to jump right into writing our next live show.

As you imagine, my mindset at the time heavily informed the content of that live show, which we eventually titled "All Hail". All Hail is a show, as you might guess, about the Glow Cloud. But it's also a show about feeling helpless, and about the unbelievable power that comes from having to rely on your friends and neighbors. It's a show about solidarity, and it's also a show about a sentient cloud that controls minds. It has layers, I guess you could say.

I can't promise that this show will be helpful to you. Certainly the two guys that wrote it during that difficult moment in history had no idea how to help themselves. But it is a work that speaks from one moment and maybe speaks directly to this moment.

So for that reason I have temporarily made it free on Bandcamp. You can still put in a price if you want to pay us for it, and that's appreciate, but don't feel like you have to. If it's useful to you, then that's all I'm looking for.

[foccaccia]

"well, listeners, the riots have been forcefully calmed down by the sheriffs secret police, and the definitely-not-angels have put out their burning effigy of that round skeleton and ceased their chanting of 'SE-XY MAN. SE-XY MAN.'

"i am finally safe and alone in my office once more, and i - oh. oh god. oh dear god. listeners, i have just noticed what appears to be a dead body at my door, left there as if a gift from some well meaning but utterly clueless and unrelatable animal who does not know basic social etiquette - that, of course, corpses as gifts should be wrapped in silver paper with pages of that great american surrealist parody novel "Eat, Pray, Love" taped into a bow stuck on top.

"since khoshekh, my cat, floats four feet off the ground next to the sink in what was the mens restroom and is now a unisex restroom, this can only mean station management has left this corpse here.

"listeners, i find myself nervous, wondering if this is a warning to me from the edritch plural monstrosity that governs my work life and threatens me constantly - oh, but no, listeners, i am observing the dead body more carefully and am sensing the bitterness and fear that can only come from one who has lived a live spouting so much hate and pain. this corpse, whoever she may have been, lived a life of cruelty and deliberate harm, perhaps in the form of anti-transgender laws or severly antisemitic childrens books, though of course, listeners, i would have no way of knowing for sure. i can absolutely say i would not brave a library to find out.

"regardless, i think this must be a congratulatory gift from station management as to my new crowning of 'sexyman' status. my beloved carlos assures me i deserve it, though i admit i do not know, because of course i do not look in mirrors.

"well, listeners, if we have learned anything today, it is that the kindnesses and good intentions of our past, no matter how distant, will always remain in the hearts of the people around us, and may someday crown us - while our poison and hatred may end up with us brutally murdered by squamous beings and dropped at the doorsteps of unsuspecting radio hosts. good night, night vale. good night."

welcome to night vale is a production of commonplace books. it is written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor, and produced by joseph fink. the voice of night vale is cecil baldwin. original music by disparition. all of it can be found at disparition dot info, or at disparition dot bandcamp dot com. this episode's weather was 'megalovania' by toby fox.

[metamorphesque]

💌 some of my favorite poems for World Poetry Day 💌 

A Cloud in Trousers by Vladimir Mayakovsky

Don’t leave the room by Joseph Brodsky (the original)

Ich finde dich (I find you) by Rainer Maria Rilke

The Thing Is by Ellen Bass

You, Darkness by Rainer Maria Rilke

I Am Offering this Poem by Jimmy Santiago Baca

a splinter of my imagination by Halina Poswiatowska

One Art by Elizabeth Bishop

The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel

Wait For Me by Konstantin Simonov (tr. by Mike Munford)  

Before You Came by Faiz Ahmed Faiz

What I Could Never Confess Without Some Bravado by Emily Palermo

Miss you. Would like to take a walk with you. by Gabrielle Calvocoressi

I Want to Write Something So Simply by Mary Oliver

What's Not to Love by Brendan Constantine

Bluebird by Charles Bukowski

Time does not bring relief (Sonnet II) by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath

Dear [ ] by Nick Lantz

Dogfish by Mary Oliver

Persephone the Wanderer by Louise Glück

Scheherazade by Richard Siken

The End of Poetry by Ada Limón

A Myth of Devotion by Louise Glück

Where does such tenderness come from? by Marina Tsvetaeva

I Loved You by Alexander Pushkin

Poems for Blok by Marina Tsvetaeva

I’m Glad Your Sickness by Marina Tsvetaeva

Wait for her by Mahmoud Darwish

The Guest by Anna Akhmatova

Listen! by Vladimir Mayakovsky

Carousel by Vahan Teryan

Landscape with a Blur of Conquerors by Richard Siken

Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light by Richard Siken

Notebook Fragments by Ocean Vuong

Headfirst by Ocean Vuong

Advice from Dionysus by Shinji Moon

[killingkueen]

3, 24, & 25!

3. What were your top 5 books of the year?

In no particular order, I really really loved these stories:

The Indifferent Stars Above by Daniel James Brown - a very indepth history of the Donner Party disaster. Tragic and interesting.

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In your Home by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor - I love Night Vale and this is my fav character and the ending was SO GOOD finally girl, get it

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi - punched me in my face, quite unexpectedly. Make the mistake of reading it in a public place and took everything in me not to ugly cry

The River King by Alice Hoffman - I read this in high school and I liked it then, but reading it again now, I just Get It. And I love Hoffman and her magical realism anyway. I read several of hers this year.

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt - it really comes together at the end. I like the characters. MC is living my dream of befriending an octopus.

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

I did not finish The Reddening by Adam Nevill. It started so strong but he explained all the Horror much too soon and too throughly for my liking and I just stopped being Spooked. I think that’s the only one. I’ve started several but have every intention of finishing them 🤔

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

Everything I read was actually listened to on audible, and I’d like to actually read-read a book next year 😅🤔 but considering this is the first year since like, college that I’ve actually finished something that isn’t fanfic, I’m optimistic. Baby steps!

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

CRACKPOT THEORY: THE VOODOO ‘VIRGIN MARY’ IS ACTUALLY ERZULIE

Pictured: “Miss Erzulie Freda” by Andre Pierre

(Previously, I had argued that this must be Erzulie Freda, but now I no longer think that is necessarily the case.)

In Voodoo in New Orleans, Robert Tallant described how New Orleans Voodooists worshiped the Catholic saints:

“These merchants also sell pictures of saints. To certain Roman Catholic saints particular Voodoo power has been attributed: St. Michael is thought best able to aid in conquering enemies; St. Anthony de Padua is invoked for “luck”; St. Mary Magdalene is popular with women who are in love; St. Joseph (holding the Infant Jesus) is used to get a job. Many Voodoos believe a picture of the Virgin Mary in their homes will prevent illness, and that one of St. Peter (with the Key to Heaven) will bring great and speedy success in financial matters (without the Key to Heaven, St. Peter is still reliable in helping in the achievement of minor successes; the power of the picture is less, however). Pictures of the Sacred Heart of Jesus are believed to have the ability to cure organic diseases.”

SOURCE: Source: Tallant, Robert. Voodoo in New Orleans. 1946. Reprint, Gretna, La.: United Kingdom, Pelican Publishing Company, 1983.: 

Many of these saints are not actually the Catholic Saints, but African-derived deities hidden under their names. 

From the interview with the 75-year old Mary Washington (“Mary Ellis”), who was born in 1863*:

“That’s all I can remember. Marie Laveau used to call St. Peter somethin’ like ‘Laba.’ She called St. Michael ‘Daniel Blanc,’ and St. Anthony ‘Yon Sue.’ There was another one she called ‘On Za Tier’; I think that was St. Paul. I never did know where them names come from. They sounded Chinee to me. You know the Chinee emperor sent her a shawl? She wore it all the time, my aunt told me.”

SOURCE: Source: Tallant, Robert. Voodoo in New Orleans. 1946. Reprint, Gretna, La.: United Kingdom, Pelican Publishing Company, 1983.: 

*Age and date of birth described in: Long, Carolyn Morrow. A New Orleans voudou priestess: The legend and reality of Marie Laveau. University Press of Florida, 2007.

Due to her age, the septuagenarian seems to have corrupted the pronunciation of the deities’ names. “Daniel Blanc” can be identified with Dan (Damballah), while “Laba” can be identified with Legba (Papa Legba). “Yon Sue” is probably Agasu (Miché Agoussou), while “On Za Tier” is possibly Azaka (Assonquer). 

In Mythologie Vodou, Milo Marcelin identifies Maitresse Ezulie (Erzili Freda Dahomey) with the Virgin Mary. To be precise, she is identified with Our Lady of Sorrows (Mater Dolorosa), and two “Black Madonnas”: The Virgin of Altagracia, and Our Lady of Mount Carmel. 

“Maitresse Ezili est identifiée à la Mater Dolorosa, représentée, dans les chromos catholiques, sous les traits d'une jolie femme qui porte des colliers en perles et en or, beaucoup de bracelets et de bagues en argent et en or, et qui a le coeur transpercé d'une épée en or. Elle est aussi identifiée à ces deux Vierges noires: Altagrace, appelée aussi Vierge d'Higuey (nom d'une ville Dominicaine), et Notre Dame du Mont-Carmel.”

SOURCE: Marcelin, Milo. Mythologie vodou: rite arada, vol. I. Haiti, Éditions haïtiennes, 1949, p. 77.

An intriguing bit of evidence is mentioned in Jeffrey E. Anderson’s Voodoo: An African American Religion.

In her thesis, Kendra Cole discovered a pencil drawing on the upper right corner of a document from the 19th century: The State of Louisiana v. Louise Johnson, New Orleans: City Archives, June 7, 1893.

The drawing can be viewed here, on page 31: https://aquila.usm.edu/honors_theses/658 

It is not an exact match, but resembles Erzulie’s vèvè, as portrayed by Andre Pierre (shown above) and identified by Maya Deren in the 20th century.

See: Deren, Maya. Divine Horsemen : The Living Gods of Haiti. New Paltz, NY: McPherson, 1983 (originally published in 1953), p. 260: https://archive.org/details/divinehorsemenli00dere/page/260/mode/2up 

Erzulie Dantor is also identified with the Virgin Mary, but her vèvè is not a match. See: https://haitianartsociety.org/ezili-dantor 

Cole notes:

“My research in New Orleans was the first time the case had been opened since it was deposited; therefore, the probability of someone else representing the practice and drawing the symbol is doubtful.”

SOURCE: Cole, Kendra, "The State and the Spirits: Voodoo and Religious Repression in Jim Crow New Orleans" (2019). Honors Theses. 658. https://aquila.usm.edu/honors_theses/658

However, Anderson cautions: 

“Unfortunately, the drawing is of uncertain age and origin and has no clear relevance to the case with which it associated, rendering it possible that the resemblance is simple chance.” (footnote 88)

SOURCE: Anderson, Jeffrey E. Voodoo: An African American Religion. LSU Press, 2024.

Indeed, the symbol might not be related to the lwa Ezili, but African in origin. For example, a similar heart-shaped symbol appears in the following photograph from 1900:

Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, Jean Blackwell Hutson Research and Reference Division, The New York Public Library. "Le roi d'Allada." The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1900. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47de-07a3-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99

As suggested by the name “Ezili Freda Dahomey”, Erzulie’s originates in the West African vodún Azili:

“An enslaved woman from Agonli-Houegbo, east of Abomey, established a shrine for the spirit Azili in the Tové neighborhood. Azili is the namesake of Haiti’s Èzili spirit family. The Dahomian army sold the woman in Hueda during the reign of Agaja, where she ended up remaining...Given Èzili’s importance in Haiti’s Rada and Petwo Rites, the narrative of the spirit’s origin in Dahomey and implantation in Hueda after 1720 suggests that the Èzili spirits have a Dahomian or Mahi origin.” (p. 73)

“Some have claimed that Ezili is a Haitian spirit (Dayan 1995, 58). However, the spirit Azlì or Azili is still served today in the Fon language area of Benin. Azlì dwells in the waters of Lake Azili that surround the island of Agonve, located on the left bank of the Oueme River (Brand 2000b, 7). In addition to their common traits, major differences include leprous male manifestations of Azlì in Fon culture (Tossounon 2012).” (pp. 169-170)

SOURCE: Hebblethwaite, Benjamin. A transatlantic history of Haitian Vodou: rasin figuier, rasin Bwa Kayiman, and the Rada and Gede Rites. Univ. Press of Mississippi, 2021.

See also: Daniels, Kyra Malika. "An Assembly of Twenty-One Spirit Nations." Africa and Its Historical and Contemporary Diasporas (2023): 67. 

Worship of St. Peter and the Virgin Mary were prominent features of New Orleans Voodoo.

In an interview from the Federal Writer’s Project, Charles Raphael (“Raoul Desfrene”, born ca. 1868) described how Marie Laveau’s altar for “good work” featured statues of the Virgin Mary and Saint Peter:

Raoul Desfrene, a “French Negro” of 77, remembered Marie II well and attended some of her rites when he was a boy of about fourteen. What impressed him most was the jewelry he said she wore, which included, besides the ponderous gold earrings, diamond and ruby clasps in her scarlet-and-blue tignons, many rings set with diamonds and other precious stones, a huge horseshoe brooch of diamonds and a heavy gold bracelet on each arm. “She sure used to dress up,” he said.

He dismissed Marie I with, “There was an old lady living there, but nobody paid her no mind.” Raoul enjoyed describing the home of the Laveaus. According to him there was an altar for “good luck and good work” in the front room. It was covered with a white cloth and held a statue of the Virgin and one of Saint Peter. Raoul recalled one of another saint, a Saint Marron, who, he explained, “was a colored saint white people don’t know nothing about. Even the priests ain’t never heard of him ’cause he’s a real hoodoo saint.”

SOURCE: Tallant, Robert. Voodoo in New Orleans. United States, Pelican Publishing, 1984. Originally published in 1946.

If St. Peter was Papa Legba, it is plausible that the Virgin Mary was Erzulie, due to her prominence in Haitian Vodou as the divine feminine principle. 

In Haitian Vodou, Milo Rigaud emphasized the importance of Damballah, Legba, and Erzulie, where the three form a holy trinity in the form of a triangle (“le triangle”): 

Legba is figured as a divine masculine prototype, while Erzulie is figured a divine feminine prototype:

Dans le voudoo, Legba origine et prototype mâle du voudoo, est donc le soleil qui préside aux rites, tandis qu'Erzulie, origine et prototype femelle, en est la lune. Legba en est le Christ et Erzulie la Vierge. Les autres mystères viennent à leur suite, par ordre hiérarchique.

TRANSLATION:

In Vodou, Legba - male origin and prototype of Vodou - is the sun who presides over rites, while Erzulie - female origin and prototype - is the moon. Legba is the Christ and Erzulie the Virgin. The other mystères follow them, in hierarchical order.

SOURCE: Rigaud, Milo. La tradition voudoo et le voudoo haïtien: son temple, ses mystères, sa magie. FeniXX, 1953. https://original-ufdc.uflib.ufl.edu/AA00002240/00001 

SEE ALSO: Rigaud, Milo. Secrets of voodoo. City Lights Books, 1985. French edition by Editions Niclaus 1953. Accessible here: https://archive.org/details/secretsofvoodoo00riga/mode/2up 

This mirrors the importance of Saint Peter and the Virgin Mary in Louisiana Voudou. 

Additionally, “Mama You” might be referring to one of the Ezili.

This is what is known about “Mama You”:

“Finally, some divinities survive only as names recorded in old documents, while others were probably no more than creations of imaginative authors. Mama You is one of the former, with her lone mention being a brief reference in a 1939 Federal Writers’ Project oral history. The only details supplied by the document are that she was “the mother of the child Jesus” and that she would sometimes answer from the ground when called by Marie Laveau.”

SOURCE: Anderson, Jeffrey E. Voodoo: An African American Religion. LSU Press, 2024.

Pictured: The protective mother, “Erzulie Dantor” by Andre Pierre

In Haitian Vodou, Ezili is sometimes referred to as “Manman” (as in, “Ezili bel Manman”, “Manman cherie” “Manman lavi” etc...) This is especially true for the protective mother Manman Ezili Danto. Words of praise for Ezili (especially, “Manman Danto”) sometimes refer to her as “Manman Ou”; there are many examples of this that can easily be found on the internet. 

Just a hypothesis, but “Mama You” might be derived from “Manman Ou”, or part of a sentence that goes “Mama, You…” where “Mama” refers to (Mama) Ezili. In other words, “Mama You” might not be the name of a spirit but words of praise for Ezili - possibly, but not necessarily Ezili Danto.

In Lapriye Ginen, there is a lwa called “Manman Wou”, who is part of the Ezili famille. Another possibility is that "Mama You" is derived from this "Manman Wou".

SOURCE: Beauvoir, Max. Lapriyè Ginen. Haiti, Edisyon Près Nasyonal d'Ayiti, 2008.

Benjamin Hebblewaithe reproduced Beauvoir’s list of lwa here: http://ufdcimages.uflib.ufl.edu/AA/00/02/68/96/00001/Historical%20Linguistic%20Dimensions%20of%20Spirit%20Migration%20in%20Haitian%20Vodou.pdf 

This is nothing definitive; I could have this wrong.

***

Previously, I proposed a theory that the Saint-Domingans may have brought a version of Erzulie who was both Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor, like so:

“While I previously argued that this must be Erzulie Freda Dahomey, I have since realized that my logic was not entirely consistent. In Haitian Vodou, there exists a massive pantheon, where the lwa can be categorized by famille . “Erzulie” is actually a famille of lwa , where Erzulie Dantor is often described as the Petwo counterpart to Erzulie Freda Dahomey. (others categorize Erzulie Dantor as Rada and Erzulie Freda Dahomey as Danwonmen ) In the historical record of New Orleans, there is no evidence of an organization of Voudou spirits by famille . Petwo counterparts to Rada lwa - such as Damballah la Flambeau, Erzulie Dantor, and Maitre Carrefour - are absent. 

Papa Lébat (Louisiana Voudou) might capture an earlier version of Papa Legba (Haitian Vodou), where he is both Atibon Legba and Maitre Carrefour. If Erzulie really was incorporated into Louisiana Voudou, it is possible she was both Erzulie Freda Dahomey and Erzulie Dantor.”

Upon reflection, I realize this theory doesn’t actually make sense.

The emergence of Erzulie Dantor can be dated to Bwa Kayiman. The Saint-Domingans fled to New Orleans years after this event. It is very unlikely that Erzulie Dantor would have merged with Erzulie Freda during this time window.

Because the historical record is so sparse, there is a lot of uncertainty here. But it seems more sensible that the Saint-Domingans would have brought something resembling Azili and possibly Erzulie Freda Dahomey, if they brought a version of Erzulie with them at all. In other words, my previous speculation that this version of Erzulie would be both Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor is probably wrong.