#Java love !!!! the best of all ! [jumping up and down with happiness]

[bubblegumships]

Victory, your selfships are so valid and based af, and I want you to know that your f/os personally came over to my house and told me how much they adore you! They said that they're always gonna care for you and look out for you, no matter what!! (Yes that includes Java Cookie too!! They don't wanna see their friend get hurt or sad!! 🫂💖)

REFFFIIEEEEE YOURE SO SWEET BRO—

I super appreciate you and urhggggehe [evaporates from feeling the love in this Chili’s tonight]

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THIS ONE IS REAL

Those are pretty expensive. If they were obviously good, someone would already be writing stuff on top of it. He made cars, which had been a luxury item, into a commodity. But maybe the older generation would laugh at me for opinions expressed here, remember that anything you see here that's not in the middle. I once wrote that startup founders should be at least 23, and that one should just go to grad school.1 Why do you think so? Could you turn theorems into a commodity, and they were still mostly in denial about problems. When we got real funding near the end of it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Soon after we arrived at Yahoo, we got an email from Filo, who had been crawling around our directory hierarchy, asking if it was really necessary to store so much of it. At each step, flow down. Our generation wants to get paid for doing work you love, you're practically there. I said a good rule of thumb for recognizing when you have competitors, because it's painful to observe the gap between them. But when I finally tried living there for a bit last year, and the Bible is quite explicit on the subject of homosexuality. Though unprecedented, I predict this situation is also temporary. They can't hire smart people anymore, but they don't get blamed for it. This one is real. But unfortunately you run into a chicken and egg problem here. And when you see something that's taking advantage of new technology to give people something they want that they couldn't have before, you're probably looking at a winner. In a field like math or physics, where no audience matters except your peers, and judging ability is sufficiently straightforward that hiring and admissions committees can do it without setting off the kind of work you do, and since you have to jump through in school.2 So Dad, there's this company called Apple.

Err. And indeed, a lot of meetings; don't have chunks of code that multiple people own; don't have chunks of code that multiple people own; don't have chunks of code that multiple people own; don't have a cofounder, but that there be few of them. Afterward I wondered, what am I even measuring? And that's fine. If you're a hacker thinking about starting a startup in New York admire more.3 Even Einstein probably had moments when he wanted to have a meeting about it. Don't maltreat users is a subset of a more general technique: making things easier.

At least, it has to look professional. My only leisure activities were running, which I think even Spamhaus would admit is a rough guess at the top spammers. Wealth is defined democratically. While you're at it, you should get a job. After all, a Web 2. But an online square is more dangerous than a physical one. Startup ideas are ideas for companies, and sales depends mostly on effort. Surely one had to force oneself to work on, toward things you actually like. By seeming unable even to cut a grapefruit in half let alone go to the store and buy one, he forced other people to use.4 If anyone is dishonest, it's the one with fewer employees that's more impressive.

The intervening years have created a situation that is, someone whose best work was behind him—and hand over the project with copious free advice about how the book should show in positive terms the strength and diversity of the American people, etc, etc. If this were a movie, for example. If you want to stay happy, you have to assume there was someone born in Milan with as much natural ability as Leonardo couldn't beat the force of environment, do you suppose you can? Even if your only goal is to please them, the way to get information out of them. The Bay Area has a lot of time thinking about language design. One reason people who've been out in the world. Thanks to Sam Altman, was 19 at the time.

As I was leaving I offered it to him, as I've done countless times before in the same way the classic airline pilot manner is said to derive from Chuck Yeager. Once publishing—giving people copies—becomes the most natural way of distributing your content, it probably isn't, it tended to pervade the atmosphere of early universities. How many times have you heard hackers speak fondly of how in, say, transportation or communications. But the reason reporters ended up writing stories about this particular truth, rather than by compiler writers. For better or worse, the idea of starting a startup just doesn't require that much intelligence. But it's harder than it looks. Serving web pages is very, very large. Most of us hate to acknowledge this. When the values of the elite. If you're sure of the general area you want to do when they're 12, and just the sort of trifle that breaks deals when investors feel they have the upper hand—over an uncertainty about whether the founders had correctly filed their 83 b forms, if you asked random people on the street if they'd like to do is figure things out, why do you need to in order to store something for them. Most good mathematicians would work on math even if there were no jobs as math professors, whereas in the departments at the other students' without having more than glanced over the book to learn the names of users with the highest average comment scores in orange.

And software sells hardware. I wanted. Taking a shower is like a form of meditation. And the boneheads who designed this stove even had an example of loving their work might help their kids more than an expensive house. The Bay Area has a lot of startups—probaby most startups funded by Y Combinator. It's an old idea that new things come from the margin is simply that you don't have an idea. Java will turn out to be a tradition of startups taking VC money, and work on what you love is very difficult. Responsibility is an occupational disease of eminence. Odd as it might sound, we tell startups that they should try to make friends with as many smart people as you can. Or they could return to their roots and make going to the theater a treat. Well, no.

So what's interesting? The reason we have high level languages is because people can't deal with machine language. How hard would it be to jumpstart a silicon valley? So far the complete list of messages I've picked up from cities is: wealth, style, hipness, physical attractiveness, fame, political power, economic power, intelligence, social class, and quality of life. Audiences have to be derived from working in that field. I learned to program when computer power was scarce.5 This extra cost buys you flexibility. These are the only places I know that Richard and Jonathan Rees have done a lot quicker.

Notes

They would have a bogus political agenda or are feebly executed. Not only do convertible debt, so problems they face are probably not do that. Some who read this essay I'm talking mainly about software design.

Put in chopped garlic, pepper, cumin, and stir. And of course reflects a willful misunderstanding of what you launch with, you might be digital talent. The Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China, many of the definition of important problems includes only those on the subject of language power in Succinctness is Power. But be careful here, I was writing this, but something feminists need to be when it converts you get stock as if you'd just thought of them could as accurately be called acting Japanese.

If this happens it will become increasingly easy to believe your whole future depends on the matter. In sufficiently disordered times, even if they do the opposite: when we created pets. If you're part of an audience of investors want to invest in successive rounds, it will thereby expose it to profitability on a map. But you can eliminate, do not try too hard at fixing bugs—which is the least important of the world wars to say that it will seem as if the fix is at pains to point out that this isn't strictly true, because spam and P nonspam are both genuinely formidable, and only incidentally to tell someone that I hadn't had much success in doing a bad idea has been rewritten to suit present fashions.

Together these were the impressive ones. I switch person. And while this is the way to create a silicon valley out of school. Obviously signalling risk.

Another thing I learned from this experiment: set aside an option to maintain their percentage. What you're looking for something they wanted, so you'd find you couldn't slow the latter without also slowing the former.

[lightningcritter]

Up Ladybug, got a goal, we’ll be fine some day, together

Hello @tbriddle! Thank you so much for your understanding, patience and kindness these past few months. It really meant a lot. This fic detailing two drabbles on the relationship of our favorite ladybug and cat is dedicated to you as a secret santa gift, I hope you enjoy it!

Also big thanks to @secret-pv-presents! It was a pleasure writing for such an amazing event and thank you so much for your kindness and patience. I hope you enjoy the read!

The title is a lyric from the original Ladybug PV.

Bridgette & Felix

“ALLEGRAAaaaAAA!!” Was all the warning the blonde got before being bombarded by Bridgette, who insisted on putting all of her weight in her hugs. Allegra laughs, stumbling a little under the sudden weight, but she is not one to be deterred as she hefts the smaller Asian girl onto her back. Without a delay in her steps, she continues walking.

“Noooooooooooooooo” Bridgette whines, wriggling to get off. “Okay, okay, we get it! You’re tall! Now let me down!!”

“Oh nonono. I don’t think so.” Allegra only laughs, blowing some of her bangs out of her face. “Careful, don’t want to fall in the fountain again.” 

“That was only once!” She exclaims, but ceases struggling. Not without puppy eyes, the best that Paris has ever seen. “Oh fine.” Her friend rolls her eyes, releasing Bridgette who cheers.

“By the way, have you heard?”

“Hm?” Bridgette hums. She has a pretty good idea what Allegra is going to tell her, but plays along. 

“Another man went missing.” Allegra exclaims as they round the corner, walking up a street. The absence of sun from the tall business building shadowing this street seemed to suck away the warmth from the sun. Bridgette finds herself gently rubbing her arms, feeling the goosebumps under her fingers.

“The fourth one in just two days! His name is Henry Bisset. But get this, people say that they saw another of those magicky pillars near where he was last seen. They think that maybe he made a deal with the devil.”

“Is it confirmed that the magick pillar and missing man are linked or is it just speculation?” Bridgette says, tugging on her backpack straps as she hops onto the stone staircase. She squints at the light that shines past some chimneys as they walk up. 

“Because he could be a victim of The Mime or that weird pigeon guy.” Bullsh*t. Bridgette, or rather Ladybug, knows that the pillar of magic only appeared when the man in white corrupted a person. She saw it happen in front of her eyes as the man in white transformed a distraught father into his most dangerous subordinate, the Mime. That incident, the outstretched fingers of the man who whispered ‘help me’ before being overtaken by the pillar of light, is one she will never forget. “Like a hostage situation or something.”

“Like he might be linked to Ladybug and Chat Noir?” Allegra inquires. In that thoughtful tone of hers like she might do some investigating or something, which is dangerous especially since she is the very competent heir of the Golden Musician magic- Bridgette quickly backtracks as she scoffs, waving a hand as she hops up onto the last step to the top of the staircase. “NAH. No way! If he did, I’m sure Ladybug and Chat Noir would have done more than just snooping around and then calling it a night!”

Allegra glances to her friend, a little bemused by her strong reaction. “Yes. You may be right… Why do you thi-” She was cut off as Bridgette suddenly jumped with a happy squeal which can only meant that she found something delicious to eat, an extremely good fabric on sale… or she spotted Felix. Allegra follows her line of sight and just shakes her head with a smile. Definitely the last option.

“Oh my sTARS, Allegra! Isn’t he just so elegant?! How does he do it, this early in the morning!?” Allegra tried to look at Felix through Bridgette’s very literal heart eyes, but just couldn’t. He seems tired and grouchy as usual, almost a bit skittish. He is holding a sizable coffee cup alongside his usual book- a new one this time judging by the red cover- and is sporting eye bags that could easily rival Bridgette’s after a creative-driven night of frenzy designing. His hair and clothes were immaculate as usual. 

Right now, he was just cupping his coffee cup in his sweater-covered hands, glaring at the lack of a Java jacket like it was the source of his problems. “His sweater paws are so cute!” Ah, Bridgette has already noticed, now just cupping her face and now waving her hand in the air at Felix as she skipped over. Allegra in tow, sisters in arms, of course. “FELIX!!! GOOD MORNING!!” 

He jumps at the sudden sound, the cup almost sliding out of his hand before Bridgette catches it, poking it back into his hands. “Bridgette, can you not yell this early in the morning? It hurts my head. I think my ears are ringing.” Allegra wonders how out of it he is that his Bridgette sensor didn’t go off. His Bridgette sense was more accurate than ever these days and Allegra has not missed his quiet, warm looks directed at her before Bridgette eventually finds him.

“You sure it’s just the volume and not the capital letters?” Bridgette teases back, her face lit up with a smile. Felix merely rolls his eyes with the poorly concealed fondness that came from the soft spot he has for Bridgette, just taking a sip in response. He greets Allegra with a polite nod which she returns with a friendly wave. 

It was a peaceful walk to the school from that point, as Allen joined when they passed by his usual morning bakery stop, and the peace quickly turned into back-and-forth banter when Claude joined, popping out from some trees like the tall gremlin he is.

Bridgette couldn’t help her wide smile and the skip in her step, happy and feeling at peace with her friends. She laughs cheerily at a musical pun Allen directed towards Melodie, who smacked him in the arm with her flute case. 

Felix, engrossed in the verbal cat fight with Claude as he is, shared the same sentiment. Even while quickly finishing the coffee with the amount of angry sips taken from it.

This didn’t escape Bridgette’s notice but classes started before she could say anything. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any morning classes together.

“You drank that coffee so fast I was worried that you were going to crash before lunch.” Bridgette comments from behind, skipping until she was walking right beside him as they maneuvered through the hallway. Although their school boasted wider hallways than her old school, so it wasn’t a big deal. Felix envies her seemingly boundless energy. “You’d be surprised how long a single cup of coffee can sustain a person.”

“With six shots of espresso in it? I should never have had any doubt.” She giggles. Felix lets out a breath of laughter. 

“Do you want to get lunch together, Felix?” Bridgette suddenly blurts out followed by an uncharacteristic shyness as she nervously plays with the end of one of her twintails. Felix notices how pink the girl’s cheeks had become and was unsurprised to feel his own heart rate picking up a notch. Bridgette glances up at him, delightedly smiling a bit at the tint of pink on his cheeks. 

“Of course.” He responds almost immediately. He held his thermos of tea tighter in his hands, staring down determinedly at the curling bit of steam, the heat drawing out of the pink color in his cheeks. To think there was a time where Felix would sneak around the lycee in a mission to avoid Bridgette.

“I was thinking of a quaint Italian deli found the other day tucked over where you can see the Eiffel Tower. I remember you saying that you really like sandwiches.” He didn’t mention that he only knew about it because Chat Noir had slipped on an unlucky loose brick and crashed into the outdoor sitting area when battling with the Mime yesterday night. Er, this morning. At 3am.

“Yes!!” Bridgette cheers, both fists pumping in the air. “I love sandwiches!” 

Ladybug & Chat Noir

There’s some kind of irony to describe this situation. Some cruel irony that only the Fate that encouraged him to put on the Black Cat ring could… inspire. Were Felix in any other situation, he could spit out bitter poetry that could properly express any and all of his emotions with a dramatic flair. Bridgette knows, having been the willing but unfortunate audience to Fellix’s hissy fits on missions and school assignments alike. 

The cathedral around them was falling fast, pieces of rubble and broken purple stained glass reflecting the fading red and green light as their transformations whittled away to Bridgette and Felix. Like some kind of macabre imitation of the red and green Christmas lights that still lit up the rest of Paris.

Bridgette looked up and found Felix’s face a breath away from hers, his green eyes shining as they met her own brown eyes. This time there was no magicked haziness that hurt their eyes and their brains. They saw each other as plain as day, even as their surroundings grew dark again.

“I knew it.” Bridgette whispered through cracked lips, a soft wheeze. Her heart pounded as she drew a long, slow breath to calm her heart. It didn’t do much, her head still spun with a dizziness that wasn’t just from blood loss as she gently pushed herself up. 

“I… didn’t.” He replied, almost instantly, his soft tone relaxing Bridgette’s nerves a little. A tremor went through his normally still soul, leaving his face frozen in shock and his hands trembling as he rifled through past memories. This revelation suddenly filled in all the holes and answered all the questions he had about Bridgette’s timely appearances and Ladybug’s mannerisms; their faces are the exact same! He almost wants to smack himself for not making connections sooner.

He realizes that he has been staring at her for too long. And realizes that she was also staring at him, her gaze flitting about his face as if she was making the same connections that he was. 

His other hand still holding her shoulders to him gently rose to her face, brushing loose strands from her face. “There.” He says, tilting his head until his forehead rested to hers, unwilling to be far from the person he thought he just lost. 

“I did have my suspicions.” He finally admitted in the silence. He saw her blink, her lips curving in a familiar smug grin.

“Before I tricked you to think they were wrong.” His face finally changes to that familiar grumpy cat look. She couldn’t help her laugh, although its usual boisterous volume was quieted by her fractured ribs. 

Felix didn’t move though and just held her gaze as if seeing her again for the first time when they met under the big new moon on that rickety rooftop with tall winding chimneys. The trust and relief in his eyes caught her breath, soothing what doubt churned in her chest.

“Let’s talk about this later.” She says with a smile, bringing up her hand to her ear. “Tikki, spots on.” Her earrings hummed, flashing pink light again as Tikki whirled out of the earrings happily laughing as she flew in fast circles above their heads, leaving behind glowing red dust as it settled over the two, bringing them off the ground buoyantly. Felix watched with wide eyes, speechless, as Bridgette floating higher. The pink dust hovered in the air for only a moment, moving like little shooting stars before it coalesced over her mundane clothes. When the light faded, there stood Ladybug. Felix smiled. The red mask brought out her determined, impossible blue eyes, her suit highlighting the stance of utmost confidence.

He realizes he was staring as he sheepishly ran his hand through his hair. “What?”

“Nothing.” She laughs in such a genuine and whole way like she always does. It felt right and he returned her laughter with a soft smile. He extends his hand, gently squeezing hers and gently pulls her back to the ground. He looks over what’s left of the cathedral foyer, the shattered glass and rubble made it a precarious journey starting with the pieces of colorful ceiling that trapped them. A piece of cake for them, though. 

Ladybug reaches up, her hand brushing his as the curious spherical red-and-black disc transforming itself into a hefty pickaxe in her other hand. “Maybe I should take a look, we probably wouldn’t want to touch an unlucky spot.”

He takes her gloved hand and places a soft kiss on her palm, grinning at her flustered face. “Or perhaps, my Lady, your advantage is that you’re short.” He can’t help laughing as Ladybug lets out an indignant squawk, scuffing her fist against his arm.

“Plagg.” The ring pulses three times, releasing an eerie glow of deep purple, black and green in waves, as Plagg whirled out of the ring cackling. “It was about time, Felix, do YOU know how tORtuROus it was??” 

“The only time anything isn’t torturous for you is when you’re gorging yourself on cheese.” He responds dryly, to which Plagg only hovers upside, stretching not unlike a cat as his permanent grin only widens.

“Or napping.”

“Hello Ladybug.” Plagg waves a lazy paw. She looks up from where she was prying apart wooden panels, where moonlight was leaking through. “Hey~” She winks.

And before Plagg could open his big mouth, Felix thrust his arm forward, the ring facing Plagg. “Claws out.” He grins. Plagg pouts, kitten eyes shining before spiraling in the ring. Flashes of purple-black light explodes outward as he closes his hand into a fist. Felix closes his eyes, feeling his breath rush out of him as the light solidifies into encompassing bubbles that merge with his dark clothes, melting into the familiar stealth armor he preferred.

Ladybug watched his transformation with a fond smile and held a hand out when his eyes opened again, sweeping it dramatically to the opened doors. He took her invitation as they both jumped out of the chasm made by his Cataclysm, the two of them bouncing up amongst rubble and jutting stone until all that was in their view was the open Parisian city they loved. 

Ladybug had gotten there first. Her fists clenched by her side, narrowed eyes taking in the challenge to war. Chat Noir walked up to where she stood on the sloped roof, resting a foot on the apex, his hands resting almost leisurely on his sides. 

The first thing they saw was the Papillon miraculous’s symbol imprinted on the sky, flaring the telltale miraculous light. Impossibly white, murky with bright colors. 

The moonlight that had peaked through the doors was gone, instead, rolling clouds pulsing with magic were quickly moving across the Parisian sky. Sparks of fire and pillars of Papillon miraculous magic lit up the red city, casting light on the blimps that blared the purple Papillon miraculous symbol. Neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir have seen so many pillars of magic activated.

Charged wind blew around eerily, the sounds of shouting, crying and sirens filling the air. “This is a declaration of war.” Noir notes. Suddenly a sharp wind picked up while hot air blasted up from her feet. Neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir moved as their hair and ribbons danced and flipped in the gale. As one, they looked down over the edge of the roof.

And before their very eyes, a giant blimp rises from a pit in the cobblestone streets, its giant butterfly symbol looming over them as it lifts off into the sky floating forward toward the Eiffel Tower like a shark in the water.

Ladybug only turns her head to him, a determined smile on her face. He looks over to her, his eyes thoughtful and calculating. Her phone was already out in her hand, the call activated in the group chat. “We won’t hesitate either.”

[justanultrastressedwriter]

Aw Hell No - Ch IV

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TW: Mentions of abuse, alcohol, and sex; Swearing

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*~ Outside ~*

Connor had decided to skip his second-period class to try and clear his head, but it hadn’t worked. All he could do was ask the question of how on Earth, Daniel could be his soulmate, worrying about what would happen if people found out, and wondering about those scars he had seen all over Daniel. 

Where Connor and Daniel were from, soulmates were always predestined and decided upon by some unknown force of nature or some weird evolution. No one knew how it worked exactly or where it came from, despite thousands of years of research on it. Anytime after the beginning of puberty, whenever you saw or thought about your soulmate a bright, white glow would appear from within your chest. 

Connor’s parents had been soulmates, he had heard the story so many times. They had met in college when they were assigned a project in one of their freshman year classes. They had started dating and then got married when they graduated. His parents had been happily married for over twenty years, with Connor as their only child. He was their pride and joy. The Smiths were more than well-off, Connor’s parents were happy and in love, Connor was attractive, charming, and the town’s Golden Boy - their lives were perfect. 

Connor knew that his life was vastly different than that of Daniel’s. The rumor was that Daniel’s parents had married out of necessity, not because they were soulmates. Connor’s parents always talked about the family with pity, especially Daniel and his mom, Christine.

According to Connor’s mom who had gone to high school with Christine, she was orphaned at a young age and then booted out of the system when she was sixteen due to overcrowding. She lived homeless for a while and tried to stay in school, but eventually, she dropped out and got into drugs and doing whatever she needed to do to survive. Then after a one night stand, she had gotten pregnant with Daniel. She then tracked down the father and two months later the couple was married. 

Christine told everyone that she and her husband were soulmates - that they had the glow. No one believed them especially when they saw the bruises that appeared on Christine and eventually Daniel. They smelled the alcohol that surrounded Daniel’s father. They gossiped whenever Daniel’s father got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, bar fights, etc. they saw how hard the family was struggling. Daniel’s father couldn’t hold a steady job, so his wife had to pick up the slack. She worked at least two jobs and when Daniel grew old enough he joined the workforce to help out.     

  Connor knew that Daniel was attractive, it would be impossible for Connor to deny that fact. Obviously, Connor was aware of this fact in the most heterosexual way imaginable, he had to remind himself. Connor was straight, he was normal - he always had been and he was determined to stay that way. He always knew that his soulmate would be a girl. They’d get married and have kids, live in a big house, just like his parents had done - the way it was supposed to go. 

All of these thoughts flooded Connor’s mind while he was wandering the campus. He looked across the courtyard he was in and he saw the windows of an Honors English classroom. Curious, he walked closer to get a better look and he saw Daniel sitting inside, pretending to listen to the teacher at the front of the classroom. Connor felt the desire to talk to Daniel, almost like a longing, as if doing so would make all of his troubles disappear. He quietly tapped on the window of the classroom, praying to whatever god was out there that he wouldn’t get caught by the teacher. 

‘Damn, I really need to get ahold of his phone number somehow. This is stupid.’ Connor thought, continuing his prayers. Luckily, it was Daniel’s redheaded friend from earlier that noticed Connor instead of the teacher. Connor thought her name was ...Charlotte? He didn’t know for sure, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

Connor pointed to Daniel who was sitting next to her and her eyebrows pulled together as if she were confused. She crossed her arms like she was pissed off. Connor rolled his eyes and used sign language to spell out Daniel’s name. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and she shook her head, defiantly. Knowing his and Daniel’s history, he couldn’t blame her suspicion and protectiveness of her friend. Connor put on his best puppy dog face and placed his hands together in a begging motion. She frowned and nodded slightly, but her eyes conveyed a clear warning, ‘If you even think about hurting him, I will kick your ass to Timbuktu.’ Connor nodded his promise and watched as she tugged on Daniel’s shirt sleeve, making him jump as he was brought out of his train of thought. Daniel looked at the redhead with confusion and she pointed out the window at Connor with her thumb. 

Connor met Daniel’s gaze with a shy smile and a small wave. Daniel smiled back and raised his hand to talk to the teacher. After some conversing, Daniel nodded and stood up from his seat and left the classroom. 

Connor could feel his heart racing at the idea of Daniel wanting to talk to him, but he didn’t know why that would make his heart race. It wasn’t nerves, because Daniel never made Connor nervous. Was it excitement? That might have fit better, but Connor still didn’t know why talking to Daniel would be exciting. ‘I am probably just excited to get out of this mess, that’s all. Nothing more,’ Connor thought to himself reassuringly. 

Connor’s thoughts were interrupted when he saw Daniel walking towards him and Connor couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the other boy. Daniel’s curly hair was a mess as if he had been running his hands through it repeatedly. Connor suddenly felt a strange urge to fix it for him, wondering what those curls would feel like through his fingers. 

Connor was again snapped out of his thoughts, but this time by Daniel speaking. “Connor? You with me?”

Connor jumped with surprise and blushed slightly, smiling at the grass because he was too afraid to look into these grey eyes. “Yeah, I’m here, just thinking. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool, what’s up? You summoned me?” Daniel prompted. 

“Oh, yeah. I just wanted to see if you were free after school? That way we could begin working on how to get rid of our problem.” Connor said, looking up from under his lashes at the black haired boy.

“Well,  I get off work at six tonight, so I’m free after that if that works for you?” Daniel said with a soft smile on his face. 

“Where do you work?” Connor asked, curiously, as he toed the grass with his sneaker, feeling strangely shy. 

“Today? I’m a barista at Java Jo’s, but tomorrow I’m a cashier at Macy’s. Basically, it depends on the day.” Daniel shrugged, nonchalantly. “Where would you like to meet?” 

“How bout I pick you up and we’ll head over to the library or something if that’s okay?” Connor offered, raising an eyebrow, in an attempt to be suave, but his dry throat and his sweaty palms made it seem pointless. 

Daniel nodded, smiling, “Sure, yeah. I’d like that.”

“Cool, maybe if you’d be interested in giving me your number, or something like that, I could text you when I got there? If that’s alright with you, if not that’s totally okay.” Connor suggested, internally cringing at his words. He had hoped that he would have been smoother about it, maybe more subtle or something. God, had his tongue always been that big? And had his throat always been so tight, like he couldn’t breathe? 

“Of course, Connor. Give me your phone and I’ll enter my information.” Daniel said and Connor looked up with surprise, his eyes wide. Connor never thought Daniel would say yes, especially after his botched attempt to ask for it. 

“Sure, yeah,” Connor said, fumbling to pull his phone out of his pocket, even almost dropping it with his shaking hands. He unlocked it and handed it to Daniel, hoping that he didn’t notice how badly Connor’s hands were shaking. He looked back at the ground, avoiding those piercing grey eyes of the other boy - he didn’t want the other boy to see the fear in his eyes. 

Daniel handed Connor his phone back and rubbed the back of his neck. The silence between the two was awkward, to say the least. “Well, I guess I should get back to class then. I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah, absolutely. I’ll see you later.” Connor said, smiling. Daniel returned the smile and turned to walk away. Connor didn’t know what to think, but he had put his phone back into his pocket and walked away with a pep in his step and a stupid grin on his face.

[jessiewre]

Day 42

Sat 15th Feb

Safari in Lake Nakuru 🦒🦓🦏🦩🌞

The pillows in our room were officially the worst pillows in Africa so far and in the night we’d had to put our travel pillow inside one case, and one of our PUFFY COATS in the other. I planned to file a complaint with Philly Tours first thing the next morning.

On the contrary, the hotel had prepared our takeaway breakfast with so much care and attention. There were proper takeaway cups and packaged up food, including our leftovers from the night before so Phil tipped the two chefs and waiter a dollar each. They were buzzing.

Thankfully, our Safari vehicle arrived (so we hadn’t been completely ripped off by Peter) and it was a good vehicle, not a crappy minibus like we’d seen some people safari’ing in. The two French girls in there were nice but they hadn’t bought their passports with them, so paying at the entrance was a bit awkward - until I reminded them a picture might be fine and they found one on their phones. PHEW.

At first, the safari was a little underwhelming as we could see the edges of the park around us with all the buildings of the town. But then we went around the lake and deeper into the park - and then it was really cool. It was more chilled out than the Masai Mara, not as impressive of course, but still nice. There were quite a few areas that had issues from previous flooding though. A couple of roads had been built up with rocks and we passed a lot of dead trees atmospherically positioned in flooded land with loads of ugly maribou stork birds and baboons around. There was a weird atmosphere in those areas and it sort of felt like they were about to attack the vehicle. Then our driver was like ‘Make sure all the food is hidden as the baboons might attack the vehicle’. Oh god, planet of the apes could be REAL.

We got through all the baboons scratching and picking at each others arses without being attacked, then spotted giraffes and warthogs (there’s always warthogs), but then our driver managed to get us to an AMAZING spot where we saw two adult white rhinos and a baby right next to us! The adults had a bit of a stand off and we watched on in amazement.

We visited a nice waterfall where the water was a little brown from the mud, then we headed to a lodge for our lunch stop. We had bought our lunch with us as Peter had told us it would be 25$ per person to eat in the park, but outside the entrance was a massive sign in capital letters saying NO PICNICS ALLOWED. Great.

After the manager flat our refused for us to eat are food there, we made friends with the waiter and he said we could eat it if we were subtle and ordered other things - so I had a vegetable soup and Phil had a bang average veggie sandwich and chips. We sat with the French girls and one of them randomly said that the best ketchup she’s ever had was when we was in Ireland when she had a delicious homemade ketchup somewhere. LOL did not expect that to be what she remembered about Ireland, Stella & Helen will be disgusted. She also said that the grass on safari was green but the grass in Ireland is the greenest in the world she thinks. Ketchup and grass = Irelands legacy.

While we sat in the restaurant we went to book our train as we’d decided which day to get it. And guess what? It was fully booked again. We’d left it too late, assuming the weekdays wouldn’t be so busy. IDIOTS.

On the afternoon drive, we were lucky enough to spot a black rhino, much rarer to see than the white. It was peacefully grazing amongst zebras, impalas and warthogs - it looked amazing, had a proper tortois-y dinosaur face!

Over the whole safari, we saw:

Buffalo

Giraffe (endangered Rothschild type)

Monkeys

Baboons

Flamingoes

Maribou Storks

Pelicans

Pumbas

White Rhino

Black Rhino

When we got back to the hotel, Phil noticed that his shorts had disappeared from the bush they were drying on outside the room. It was obvious someone had been trimming that very bush as it was all neat and there were clippings on the ground, so Phil asked reception. They assured him they’d ask the gardener and find them. I was convinced they’d been nicked...

We half decided to eat at the hotel again out of pure laziness and fatigue, but as soon as we walked in I was like Why are we here. It ain’t for a plate of vegetables thats for sure. So we went to reception to get a taxi to town as we knew there was a Java cafe there and it was a safe bet, and plus if we went to town, we could book our coach tickets for Nairobi to the coast (damn you fully booked train!).

Our taxi driver annoyingly dropped us at a little shop with a Modern Coast kiosk that was CLOSED instead of the actual Modern Coast office HOW BLOODY USELESS. So we ended up walked through the busy town while really hungry looking for a tuc tuc to get to the right place. Then we saw Java cafe on a corner so thought screw it, We’re really hungry so lets just eat first.

But then...we walked over and the door was LOCKED. I could see people inside eating their food, but it had closed at 7pm and it was now 7:15pm. Oh ffs.

We stood outside it feeling a little sad, then the manager walked over to the door, popped his head out the door and smiled at us ‘There’s another Java cafe if you want to eat, just over in the Mall!’. OMG what a legend, we KNEW Java wouldn’t let us down like this. Thanks random man 👍🏽.

We jumped in a tuc tuc to go to Modern Coast and Phil jumped out to get the tickets while I paid. The driver and his mate (not sure why he had a mate with him but whatever) then tried to overcharge me. I paid them 200ksh as that was more than enough and then one of them was like ‘Miss, Buy me a tea’. He had this really annoying look on his face like he was telling me I had to do it. Excuse me buddy, that is not how you ask someone if they’d like to buy you a gift.

We needed a tuc tuc to get to the mall but I didn’t want to go with them out of principal so we walked there like fools. It was only 10 minutes but it was down a crappy dusty busy road and we were hungry. But at least we had our morals right?!

We passed a shop with hats and remembered my quest for a baseball cap (look, I know its a bad idea, but I need one for safaris okkkkkkk). I tried a few on and honest to god it might be the worst I’ve ever looked ever. HORRENDOUS. So no, I didn’t buy one. The search continues.

Dinner at Java was half good and half annoying. Our starter of tomato soups were bought over and the girl said ‘Two chicken soups’. Uh, no love, we ordered tomato soup - so she walked away to check with our waitress who was dealing with another table. This waitress then bought the soups back over and fully tried to blag it ‘Two chicken soups’ she said as she tried to palm them off onto us. I’m not gonna lie, part of me wanted to just take the chicken and peanut soup as I’ll bet it was tasty as fook. - but no, we told her the mistake and waited patiently for our TOMATO soups.

After the soup, I honestly felt full (mental I know) so my Mexican burrito was ready for takeaway after two bites. Phil managed to devour his vege burger no problem.

On return to the hotel, still no sign of the shorts (cos they’d been nicked obvs) but I forced the reception guy to find me new pillows and he basically broke into someone’s room while they weren’t there and took the pillows off their bed. BOVERED cos they were SO much better, as in, they were actual pillows and not a bag of socks. So I went to bed happy. Well, I did until I checked my phone and saw the news that Caroline Flack had passed away. It wasn’t officially suicide at that point, but from the reports it seemed the most likely scenario. It felt incredibly weird to be sat in Kenya and to think she’d died that very day, while we’d been on a safari, and we went to bed feeling very strange and very sad.

[doubletriplepowerbomb]

Forever

Colby Lopez x Lais Ribeiro (VS angel) 

request for @colbynatorsforlife

Warnings: none other than some fluff that you MIGHT drown in and some swears

Word count: +3300

Tags: @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @jenn0755 @zappyzoodle @disturbthepearls @lost-in-the-stories @lithesxx @racingandreigns @rocketgirl2410 @vebner37 @therianfurry46 @littlelunaticfringe @finnbalorlover21 @winged-time-criminal @mrsnegan25 @xfirespritex @wefunloveruniverse

June 2012

“Hi welcome to Java Java can I help you…” My voice trailed off when I saw him. The most gorgeous man I had ever seen in all my years of life. He was wearing a tight black tee shirt with a gray beanie and glasses. I think he even had a streak of blond hair underneath. I knew I was staring for too long, I needed to look away. I blinked hard and asked the man again if I could take his order. He was staring at me too.

“Oh, uhm… yeah can I just have a black iced coffee?” I nodded, my eyes locked on him. I asked him his name and he smirked. “You want my number too, Lais?” He asked, reading my name tag. I blushed at his words. Did he think I was hitting on him? Should I start hitting on him?

“I just need it for the order,” I said with a smile. I kept my tone light and fun, so he knew I was kidding. His face got red and he reached up to adjust his beanie. I almost drooled at his arm when his bicep involuntarily flexed.

“Oh… duh… My name is Colby.” He looked pretty disappointed that he wasn’t on the same page as I was. I kept a smile on my face the whole time he stood in front of me and I watched him intently while I made his coffee. He had an athletic build. Big arms, thick legs, and a nice butt. I could barely think straight knowing he was in the small coffee shop I worked at in Iowa.

I think I read his coffee cup 12 times while making his order. It was the plainest order ever and I could barely remember it. Once I finally finished, I grabbed a pen from the counter.

“Colby!” I called his name and watched as he perked up. His hand lingered on mine as I handed his cup to him. He shot me a wink and I almost fell over, I couldn't wait to see his face when he saw what I wrote on his cup.

563-777-4653

My break is in 20 xx Lais

I saw his face light up and he looked up at me. I shot him a wink and kept working until my break was over. He stayed in the shop, sitting on a stool. His eyes didn't move from me either. I felt him watching me for 20 antagonizing minutes before I finally had my break.

The little timer on my watch went off and I swear I had never been so excited to hear that noise. I only had my short lunch break but the whole time sitting with him was amazing. We talked non-stop for an hour before my watch went off again. “Crap, my break’s over.” I said with a frown. His smile went away too.

“Well, when do you get off? Maybe I could take you out tonight.” he looked at me with raised eyebrows and an adorable smile.

“I get off at 6.”

“Then I’ll pick you up at 8. I’ll text you.”

“Bye Colby.”

“Bye Lais.”

Those last 3 hours were the slowest hours of my life. All I wanted was to get off and see Colby again. I couldn't even describe what I felt in my chest when I even said his name, let alone saw him or thought of him. I had never had a crush on anyone like this, especially not after only knowing someone for a little over an hour.

June 2019

That was 7 years ago today. After that day, we started talking all the time. I found out he was a wrestler and that it would put a strain on relationships considering he isn’t home often, but I didn't care. I never believed in love at first sight but after that day, I did. I fell madly in love with Colby Lopez the day that I met him. 7 amazing years later here I was getting ready for what should be the best night of our lives. I was going to propose to him tonight. And I know, the girlfriend shouldn't be the one to propose, but I’m not like that. I knew from when I was little that I would propose, I’ve always taken what I wanted.

Colby was at the gym meaning I had nothing but time on my hands. I had been talking to Colby’s two best friends from work, Joe and Jon (Roman and Dean) all about it. They helped me get a ring and plan out a perfect night that Colby would love.

“So what are you gonna buy a wedding band?” Jon asked before popping a bubble with his gum.

I laughed at him. “No, Jon I’m getting a promise ring type of thing,” I said, scanning the endless cases of rings. Who would’ve thought they make so many rings for men?

“This one.” I heard Joe’s voice from the other side of the store. His finger was pointing to a plain black titanium ring. It was perfect.

I bought the ring and I kept it hidden in the laundry room, I knew he’d never find it in there. I got a text saying he’d be home soon. I checked Find Friends and I saw that he was in the car on the way home from the gym.

I had gone to our favorite place in the park earlier and made it all nice for a picnic. I made a nice dinner for us and had it all packed up in a basket in the fridge. I worked so hard to plan this out and all my hard work was finally going to pay off. I had taken a shower and I was wearing a yellow off-the-shoulder sundress that accentuated my dark features. I was finishing up my makeup when I heard the bathroom door open.

“Well don’t you look delicious.” Colby stood there with his arm resting on the door frame. He had thrown his shirt and shorts in the laundry basket and he was wearing only his boxer briefs. “What’cha dressing up for, beautiful?” His hands snaked around my waist and I felt him press against my backside.

“Ew sweaty, get off!” I yelled playfully while wiggling out of his grip. “I just finished getting ready.”

“Do you have something tonight?” Colby looked down at the floor for a second, he was disappointed. He was sure I didn’t have any plans tonight and he wanted to cuddle up and watch a movie.

“Yeah I do have plans,” I began. I saw Colby’s gorgeous brown eyes lose their shimmer momentarily. “You and I are going on a date tonight. We’re having a picnic.” The shimmer came back and he smiled. He opened his mouth to speak but I continued. “So shower quick and get dressed.” And with that, I walked out of the bathroom.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join me, gorgeous?” Colby’s voice was persuasive and if I didn’t have a plan for tonight I definitely would’ve turned around, but I couldn’t.

“I’m already all dressed and ready to leave, babe. Can’t shower now.” My tone teased him and I didn’t even need to turn around to know what expression was on his face.

I didn't know this then but as Colby showered his mind ran wild with the image of me in that dress. God damn, she looks so good. I’m gonna marry that girl. I just don’t know why Dean and Roman told me to wait. I’ve been with her for years now and I know that I’m making the right choice. Fuck it, I’m buying a ring tomorrow.

I heard the water shut off only a few minutes after I heard it turn on. Colby walked back into our room with a towel hanging low on his hips. I was tempted to pull it down and forget this whole night.

While Colby was in the shower, I began to second guess myself. What if he doesn’t like that I proposed? What if I embarrass him? What if he says no? But I couldn’t think like that. I loved him and he loved me, this would be great. But looking at him made all the worry in my head go away and I remembered the day I knew I wanted to marry him.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

August 23, 2015

Summerslam. Colby had a title-for-title match against John Cena. He had been so nervous about it, John Cena was a role model for everyone and having a big match like this against him made Colby nervous. I loved Seth’s attitude about this match though. Seth was an cocky jerk. Colby was considerate and cute. Watching Colby be Seth on TV for millions of people made me smile. Seth wasn’t nervous about the match. His confidence in the ring turned me on insanely and I loved watching him wrestle. Well, not always, I didn’t like seeing him get hurt.

I didn’t tell him that I had gotten tickets for SummerSlam. He thought I’d be watching from home.

He didn’t see me during his match, I wasn’t sitting super close to the front. I wanted it to be a surprise for after his match. I talked to Hunter and Stephanie earlier and, considering Colby was their golden boy, they allowed me to go to the ring after the match.

I watched the whole match on the edge of my seat and I think I might've been the only person in the arena with a smile on my face when John Stewart came out with that chair and hit John Cena. He threw the chair down and ran out of the ring before the official got back up. He set Colby up to win the match and I screamed when he did. I shot out of my seat and ran down the aisle and got to the barricade.

Colby saw me running up to the barricade and held up the titles for me and everyone else to see. I jumped over the barricade and climbed into the ring. Normally, something like this would ruin his asshole façade, but I couldn’t have cared less.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, not caring about the sweat, and pressed my lips to his cheek. I refrained from speaking, I doubted he’d hear me. I felt his arms wrap around me accompanied by the cold metal from the belts against my back and thighs.

Most of the crowd wasn’t happy, but I didn’t care. Sure, someone helped him win the match but Colby worked so hard to get to where he was. Everyone argued that he got everything handed to him, but he had to work extremely hard to get to the “golden boy” position. That’s what I was proud about. His hard work paid off.

That night in the hotel room, I had the best sex of my life. But that’s not the point. Watching him in the ring and seeing the glow in his eyes made me feel a certain way that I hadn’t before. I had been proud of him before but something about this was different. I fed off of his success and I felt like I won too. It’s kind of hard to explain but it was amazing.

After that, I knew I needed to make him mine. I didn’t care how. I just needed to spend the rest of my life with him. I realized how deeply I loved him.

“Get dressed.” I said with raised eyebrows and a playful roll of my eyes.

The light summer breeze blew my sundress and hair but I didn’t mind. It was so warm out. I loved summer evenings, the sun was still out but it was cooler. Perfect.

We talked about nothing important the whole walk to the park. I loved talking to Colby like that though. He always made me laugh when we talked about nonsense. He’s such a goofball.

“Woah. Look at that. Who would set that up and leave it empty?” Colby pointed out the picnic I had set up.

“I did it stupid.” I said taking his hand and leading him to the blanket. Colby’s shocked smile made me smile as well. He was so taken aback at the fact that people would leave a picnic basket alone. I rolled my eyes at him but kept the smile on my face.

As we ate, the conversation was light and hilarious. We debated about the dumbest things and laughed about stupid stories. I love him. I couldn’t wait to ask him to be mine forever.

After we ate I asked if he wanted to go for a walk around the lake in the middle of the park. He agreed and held my hand as we walked slowly.

Once we reached the opposite side of the lake, I walked with him to our favorite spot. It was a small clearing past the trees that lead to a small lakefront spot.

The sun was setting and an explosion of pinks and reds and oranges streaked across the sky. It was simply lovely and I squeezed his hand before turning to face him.

My heart was racing to fast. It was thumping so aggressively against my chest I was surprised he couldn’t hear it. I let go of his hand and reached into my pocket. My fingers brushed across the black satin and I stared up at him. His brown eyes bore into mine. He didn’t even know what I was gonna do, he was just staring at me.

I took the box out of my pocket and knelt down on the grass. Colby’s eyes widened with disbelief, but there was a shimmer of happiness in his eyes. Seeing that shine calmed my nerves.

“Colby, I know the you were kinda supposed to do this but I can’t wait. I love you more than anything in this world and I can’t imagine ever being without you. It makes my heart ache when I think spending the rest of my life with anyone else. I want to experience life with you and grow old together. I love you. So, will you marry me?”

Colby stared at me through his big brown eyes. As scared as I was to hear his response, the familiar gleam in his eyes reassured me. His lips stayed closed and his mouth turned into a grin before his smile got so wide that he had to show his teeth. “Lais,” he bent slightly in his knees and placed his hands gently on my biceps, gently pulling me onto my feet. “Ya, know I was gonna do this. I was gonna propose to you first. You made the first move, you said I love you, and now this? C’mon you gotta give me something.” His playful tone made me smile.

He kissed me quickly before I could speak. I felt his hands slowly caress down my arms, to my hands, then he let go of my hands and grabbed my hips. He pulled me closer to him and I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck.

After a short while, he broke the kiss but remained close. He bumped his forehead lightly against mine and I smiled. “Of course I'll marry you. You’re everything to me and I couldn't imagine this world without you in it. I need you in my life.”

I smiled at his words and I remembered when I first heard him say that.

November 5, 2015

Colby had a House show in Dublin that night. I was sitting at home, waiting for a text from him saying his match was over. But it never came. Instead, I got texts and calls from Joe and Jon.

“Lais, It’s Colby. He hurt himself during the match.” Joe’s voice wasn’t as firm as it usually was. I heard ambulance sirens in the background.

I straightened up on the couch. “Joe? What happened to him? Is he okay?”

“It’s his knee. He had a match against Kane. He tried to do a sunset flip off the turnbuckle, for a powerbomb. But his knee. It buckled underneath him.”

My mind went blank after that. That entire night was a blur. The scariest part was that he was across the world and I had no real idea of what was happening.

I remember everything about the day he came home though. He looked heartbroken. My poor boy’s face was downcast and his leg was wrapped in a thick cast. He ended up tearing multiple ligaments in his knee. Surgery. Rehab. No wrestling for months.

He was difficult to deal with at times. But I didn't mind all that much. I loved him and he was devastated. I just wanted to make him feel better.

On one particularly sad night, he snapped. Not at me, at the rehab. He was so mad and there was nothing he could do about it. Colby came home fuming. He didn’t yell at me, he didn’t do anything at all. I kept my distance that night, not wanting to bother him.

Apparently, he took it as me having enough. Me not wanting to deal with him anymore. So that night, I was woken up by him curling my hair gently around his fingers.

“Lais, are you awake?” His voice was soft and shaky. I turned to face him.

I leaned up on my elbows. “Yeah. Are you okay?” My voice was laced with concern.

“I’m sorry.” He coaxed me to lay back down. “For everything. I’ve been such a jerk. I just… don’t… don’t go. I need you in my life.”

I didn't say anything right away. I simply leaned towards him and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Colby, I love you. I’d never leave you.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say to him. So I kept my mouth shut but I laid my head on his chest and continually pressed kisses against his hot skin until I heard his breathing steady completely and I knew he had fallen asleep. His words stayed with me though. I need you in my life.

I’d never leave him. I loved him. That’s why I proposed to him, I wanted to be with him forever. Every day with him made me fall in love with him more and more.I looked down at Colby’s hands and grabbed onto his left one. His wide smile mirrored mine as I slipped the black ring on his finger.

Colby looked down at the ring on his finger. “Did you really just propose to me?” Colby asked, his tone playful.

My smile widened and I took his hand. “Yes I did.”

December 2019

“By the power vested in me, by the state of Iowa, I pronounce you man and wife. Colby, you may kiss your bride.” Cheers erupted from the crowd as we kissed.

Mrs. Lais Lopez. I could get used to that.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face during the whole reception. Colby was mine and I was his, forever.

A/N: Okay, so I really wanted to focus on the build up to the proposal and all the flashbacks. (Y’all know how much I love my flashbacks). I realise I didn’t get that in depth about the wedding or anything after that but if that’s something you guys want to know about let me know and I’d love to write about it! (Maybe starting a family I don’t know ;) I love hearing what you guys have to say!

Thanks for reading, love you all

-Doubletriplepowerbomb

[fisherfurbearer]

Updates

Well.

It’s my 21st birthday today.

I’ve been very quiet here since winter, but in actuality so much has happened. I’m still sorry for being-here but not-being-here, and vanishing on everyone waiting on art, but it’s really been a whirlwind. Just a real wild ride.

I had this big, rambling post written up, explaining what’s happened so far this year and what’s been going on, but I don’t think it’s necessary really. What matters is that I’ve made it this far. This time six months ago I really wasn’t sure if I’d make it to see today. But. Here I am.

I feel like life has been pretty unrelenting in the past few years, and it never seems to end. Between this post and my last text posts, I’ve had another Break Down due to problems with work and doctors, and it’s been pretty terrifying, but I think it’s going to be okay. We’re not out of the woods and I really need to focus on this right now so I still won’t have time to get back into art (which I do plan on doing!! But it’s really not fair to anyone for me to start up again when I’m still not completely stable) and everything else.

But hey. Even after that recent disaster, I’m still here. I’ve been on much better meds for almost 5 months now, I’ve been figuring out what I want to do with my life, and I have my second wind. Things have been getting a lot better (even though a LOT has also been going wrong, but such is life, and we get through it!) and I’ve been on the right track for several months now. I think I’m truly happy.

I’m still here and so is most everyone else. I figure it’s about time I do an update on everyone, as this is a pet blog after all, and I think it’s best to let everyone know how we’re all doing. It’s been a long time since I really talked about everyone properly, and a lot has happened. So here’s the all-encompassing update on everyone:

INVERTS

I posted about this a bit before, but yes. At the start of July I found that I lost about half of the tarantulas. While I think in general we were doing okay picking up the pieces from everything that happened, not everyone was alright. It’s my fault, and I take responsibility. I don’t care how tough things were, it wasn’t fair to them that I let them go unnoticed for too long. Most of the slings passed away, they got too dry, and the more moisture dependent ones passed away as well, including Boopus, Conte, Lucy, and Cassini.

There is a huge hole in my heart from losing them. I will never let this happen again. I don’t CARE how hard things get for me, I will NEVER let my illness take the lives of the ones I care about ever again. I don’t know if it’s the right decision to continue keeping Ts at all after what happened, but since it did, Jessie and I had a very serious conversation about was has to change if I want to keep the remaining Ts. I’ve spent a lot of time re-working how I care for everyone, and so far, everyone has been recovering VERY well. The remaining Ts are: Agnes, Deckard, Isidore, Montag, Winnipeg, Wilder, Flaveri, Kessler, Kitty, and Turnip. They are all fat and hydrated and doing better. Deckard and Isidore molted successfully, and Winnipeg is deep in pre-molt. Montag had some sort of weird kinda-mites-but-not-mites thing going on, but I got most of them off and they’ve been doing really well for about a month now.

Suffice to say I think everyone is going to be okay. The ones that are here. I do love them deeply and I need to not let my illness get in the way of them. My depression was slowly eating away at everything I loved, including them and my desire and ability to care for them, but I will never let it happen again. No matter what, I’ll do what’s best for them, even if it’s a tough decision.

As for the other inverts...the roaches are all doing very well. Red goblins have had their ups and downs but the colony is big and thriving. I finally have adults again and babies are cropping up once more. My dubia colony is finally stable and they’ve been delightful waste disposals for all the ugly peppers and bolted greens from our poor little garden. The rothi, the Original Dig Sons, are STILL kicking. I thought the female was gone but she cropped up again and is as gigantic and cute as ever. They’re chubby and happy and digging like champs. The little kenyans are also doing well!! I’m moving them in with the dubia and they seem to thrive with them. Everyone is peaceful and passive to one another, and by being in the bigger colony they have much more space and food options than before.

All in all, the inverts are recovering and doing okay. I also have thriving isopod cultures in the geckos’ vivs, and they’re doing very well! Lots of orange P. pruinosis in there.

REPTILES

Vladimir and Estragon are doing WONDERFULLY. After the fire I was very worried about the smoke, but both geckos have been perfectly fine and very active and healthy, especially as the weathers warmed up. Estragon is exploring all the time now, and has recovered well after all the stress of moving around so much earlier this year. As I type this he’s climbing the glass of his viv and mleming the air. He’s such a little man and I love him. I’ve been watering the vivariums properly again and they’ve been exploding with growth! Not all the plants made it but the ones left actually need trimming, they’re growing too fast!! The local pet place has lots of vivarium plants available actually and I got a couple that I’m going to plant in the empty spots for the boys. So right now the vivs definitely look a little wonky, but it’s nothing we can’t fix, and the boys themselves are doing GREAT. They lost a little weight after all the chaos, but Gogo is a good chunky boy and Didi is doing awesome too!! Eating lots and he even catches the loose roaches that have been living in the leaf litter, which is pretty cool to watch and great enrichment for him. My little men have been doing so good and I’m so happy that we’re all okay. <3

MAMMALS

Before the fire, I had recently gotten my very first rats, which was a huge deal on here, if any of you remember that!! Java, Lisp, and Python have been thankfully 100% okay after the fire, and have suffered 0 smoke injury! They were farther from where it happened, but there was definitely some smell in my room but now, eight months later, I think it’s safe to say that they’re unaffected. The rats are doing GREAT. They get pampered every single day by everyone here, and my roommate LOVES them. Even when I couldn’t take care of them, he’d feed them and squish them daily, which was a huge help while I dealt with all the craziness. I’m getting back into the routine and taking over their care again, but I can’t thank him enough for his help.

The rats are now THE BIGGEST BOYS and Java is the BEST bean!!! He went from peeping and running away when we first got him to bruxing like CRAZY whenever we hold him and he loves being squished. I don’t know why. They all just love being held and squished and Lisp has some really unsettling Extreme Happy Boggles when we do it, he loves being crushed. (Not that we actually “crush” them, just gently pretend to squish them with our hands while joking about squashing them into pancakes)

They get so much love every single day, and they’ve been one of the best things to ever happen to us. Unfortunately since moving here (and I wasn’t aware of this until the day of move-in, haha, lucky me...) they’ve had to live in the basement which is colder than I’d like and makes it hard for me to care for them, but soon we’re switching to 100% fleece and they’ll be able to live up here with us properly!! I’m so excited about it and it’ll make caring for them so much easier. I’m so excited.

OH and how could I forget. I put off saying this but we DO have a few more pet friends since I last mentioned everyone in December. We bought five little mice into our home many months ago, and their names are Awesome Opossom, Moggles the Mole, Inspector Beans, Bhombus, and Trungalo. They were one of the best things ever, for me. They’re the perfect fit for our lives and they’ve been thriving since we got them. They’re so relaxing and wonderful, and they are incredibly calm and squishy little girls. Sadly, Possie passed away a month or so after she came here (she was almost like a FTT...she was doing so well, then she just...she wasn’t growing like everyone else, no matter what I did, and one day she just. Didn’t make it. We found her snuggled up in her favorite hide in a pile of fleece. No one bothered her. She passed away peacefully.) and she just...she was here for such a short time but she changed everyone’s lives forever. She was the most incredible little thing. She was so outgoing and sweet and when we bought them home she instantly became Nick’s favorite little friend. I’d come home from work and he’d be in the middle of the living room playing with her. He loved her so, so much and even though the mice “are mine” I really think Possie was his. She was a very special little thing and I’m glad she could spend the last of her time with us. She was an incredible little animal.

All in all though...the rodents are doing good. It still hurts my heart that Possie passed away but we did everything we could and we had a special little service for her under the big tree in the backyard, and we will never forget her. I kinda wish everyone here could’ve gotten to know her too. She was really something special.

Otherwise...ahh gosh it feels really sad to say anything else after talking about Possie. She was so, so wonderful, but so are the remaining meecers. Mice are weird. They’re just so small and gentle and wonderful, and I’m really happy to have them with us.

Oh yes!! And there are two more little friends who joined us. I researched getting birds for a few years, and back in mid-April in my area there was a couple having to rehome some of their button quail. They hatched and raised them by hand, and I talked it through with Jessie and we jumped on the opportunity to adopt a pair. It worked out wonderfully for everyone and now it’s been about four months with us and they’re doing fantastic. Their names are Wasabi (male) and Mushroom (female) and they’re an extremely devoted mated pair and we love them. They’re in our front living room and while we don’t/can’t handle them they have become so outgoing in their own way and I’ve learned so much about caring for them over the past few months. They’re very relaxing to care for and any time I slack a bit with anything, they let me know by tapping the front of the enclosure until I investigate and fix whatever’s wrong. It’s actually really helpful and over time I’ve gotten much better and now they hardly ever pace or tap the front, which makes me feel like I’m doing something right. They seem peaceful and spend a lot of their time with each other and bathing in their dirt bath or foraging for treats. c:

All in all, we’re really getting there and have been getting so much better since The Disaster that was winter. The animals are doing great/much better, I’m getting better (although the recent scare is still a drain and I do have to work 12-9 pm today but so it goes...) and it’s going to be alright, I think. And I have a very supportive partner and awesome roommate and friends and I can’t thank them enough for helping me get this far. I wouldn’t be here without them.

Well anyway. Happy birthday to me, I spent way too long writing this and now I need to rush to get ready to work for the rest of the day/night. But so it goes, I’ve been through worse. c;

[babblingblondegenius]

Future Ficlet: All You Need is Love...and Coffee

Wow, tonight’s episode was brutal.  Between the painful Olicity separation in present time and the lack of Olicity in the dark future of the flash-forwards, we aren’t seeing any of the happy right now.  There seems to be no hope. Our heroes’ sacrifices were all in vain.  Basically, everything sucks.

As kismet would have it, a couple of weeks ago, I shared a fun little head canon with @allimariexf and @hope-for-olicity and they both encouraged me to ‘write the thing.’  I’ve had a terrible case of writer’s block for quite some time (meaning I have a gazillion story ideas and a ton of WIPs that are unfinished).  I expected this one to end up dormant in my drafts as well.  But after tonight’s episode, I felt the need to finish it because we (and Olicity, of course) deserve a little hope and happy.  Set two years in the future, the premise of this little fluffy ficlet is that Felicity needs an assistant but she has particular criteria ;)  

This should have been the easy part.  

After months of enticing investors, obtaining the proper licenses and permits, all the legal mumbo jumbo, and locating the perfect office space, hiring an executive assistant is going to be the breaking point where she finally loses her sanity.  

Which completely defeats the purpose of trying to find someone to help her in the first place.

She has been doing fine on her own, thriving actually, since she decided it was time to recommence building a tech company from the ground up, sans Curtis this time.   This venture, for better or worse, will be all hers.  Her vision.  Her name. Her legacy.

Despite her initial apprehension at that thought, she has a clarity and confidence in her mission and goals that has propelled her forward at a pace she couldn’t have imagined.  So far, choosing which of her many prototypes she wanted to launch first has been her biggest challenge.

Until now.  

She had narrowed down the stack of over 100 applications to the eight most qualified for the position, and began the interview process at 7:00 this morning.  

The first one had been punctual, neat, and lacking any sort of personality whatsoever.  

The second one arrived twenty minutes late and then interrupted Felicity mid-interview to take a non-emergency personal call on her cell phone.

The third one tapped her super long artificial nails on the edge of Felicity’s desk the entire time and included ‘loud typer’ when asked how her current co-workers would describe her.

The fourth one was a chaotic whirlwind who overshared details of his personal life on every single question.

Maybe he just had too much caffeine in his system. Or maybe she doesn’t have enough.

Coffee.  She needs coffee.  Her next interviewee isn’t scheduled to come in for another hour, so she takes the reprieve to just lay her head down on her desk for a moment in order to gather up the energy she needs to make the trek down the block for her caffeine fix.

“One vanilla soy latte, extra sugar, extra cinnamon, extra whip cream.”  

Oh yes.  That’s exactly what she wants.  Why she is thinking it in Oliver’s voice, she doesn’t know.  Her coffee daydream is so vivid, she can even smell the soothing notes of vanilla with hints of sweet cinnamon spice wafting through the air. Mmmmmmmm.

“Felicity….honey, are you okay?”  Oliver’s voice again.  She slowly lifts her head and sees her husband standing on the other side of her desk, holding a large cup emblazoned with the logo of her favorite java joint and her name scrawled across it in black marker.

“I am now,” she practically purrs as he hands over her treasured treat.  After taking a deep inhale and a long swallow, she blissfully smiles at him.  “It’s perfect.  You’re perfect.”  Suddenly jumping up out of her chair, she shares the revelation brought on by the jolt of caffeine in her system. “Oh!  I have a great idea!  You should apply to be my EA.”  

Oliver chuffs out a laugh.  “Because I brought you coffee?  Your standards must be pretty low.”  

“Worried you couldn’t cut it, Mr. Queen?” she asks, arching an eyebrow in challenge.

“I think my time served as Mayor proves otherwise,” he retorts with an air of gravitas but mimics her gesture, silently letting her know that he enjoys her teasing him and is willing to play along.  

She shakes her head.  “Nope, not helpful.  You couldn’t even get me a break on my taxes when you were the mayor.  What are your current qualifications?”

He ponders the inquiry for a moment before responding proudly, “I’m the head chef at Chez Queen.”

She rolls her eyes at Oliver’s corny moniker for their kitchen but gives him an encouraging smile.  “Oh yeah, I’ve eaten there a few times.  The food is magnificent.  But do you have any business experience?”

His expression goes from proud to smug.  “As a matter of fact, I do.  I was formerly the CEO of Queen Consolidated.”

She takes another swig of coffee and checks an incoming text on her cell phone before reminding him, “I happen to have first-hand knowledge you wouldn’t have made it a week without your super smart and highly efficient EA.”   

“That’s true,” he concedes with a grin, “though on the downside, she only brought me coffee one time.  One”, he repeats, taking her coffee and phone and setting them off to the side. Placing his palms flat on the edge of her desk, he leans in closer, a visible twinkle in his vivid blue eyes.   “I think she actually broke our coffeemaker.  Violently,” he teases in a conspiratorial whisper.

Mirroring her husband, she leans in over the desk until their noses are almost touching.  “A little violence doesn’t scare you, does it, Mr. Queen?”  She allows her gaze to run down the length of his torso, visibly appreciating the definition of his biceps that his jacket cannot conceal. “You look like you could handle yourself just fine.”

“I like to stay in shape.”  He feigns modesty but she knows her husband and can recognize that look in his eyes. “Some cardio, free weights, martial arts, salmon ladder…”

“That’s so hot” she blurts out, temporarily slipping out of character as her brain produces an amazing visual of sweaty and shirtless Oliver making his way up the salmon ladder.  Will there ever be a day when that doesn’t turn her on?  Probably not, and judging from the self-satisfied smirk on his face, he mentioned it on purpose just to get that very reaction out of her.   Determined to get back on track, she rephrases, “I mean, that sounds interesting.”  She decides a change of topic would be helpful to give her an advantage in their little game.  “Computer skills?”

She immediately regrets that question when Oliver gives her a feral smile that makes her weak in the knees.  Lowering his voice to the same octave he uses when he is dressed in green leather, he divulges, “I’ve hacked a federal prison network.”

Guh, game over.  In all her years with Oliver, that is the sexiest thing he has ever said. She quickly makes her way around the desk and invades his personal space. “Seems like you’re a man of many talents,” she coos appreciatively, latching onto his arm and nuzzling her face into the sleeve of his jacket to breathe in the scent that is uniquely Oliver.

“My wife taught me a thing or two,” he boasts, turning so they are face-to-face and he can wrap his arms around her.  

Her hands instinctively move from his arm to his chest, resting over his heart.  “She must be an amazing woman.”

Oliver nods in agreement, his nose nuzzling hers. “She is.  She’s the best.”

“I know you’re just saying that to get husband points and its working,” she acknowledges affectionately, her hand caressing the stubble on his jaw.   He tilts his head into her palm like a contented cat and she takes the opportunity to kiss him like she wanted to since she saw him in front of her desk, whether it was five minutes ago with coffee or nine years ago with a bullet-ridden laptop.  

Oliver moans and deepens the kiss, the fervent strokes of his tongue making her long for more.  “Okay, you’re hired,” she pants, breaking the kiss when her need for air temporarily overcomes her need for Oliver.  “Smoak Tech is a start-up so your health care package consists of me patching you up if you are injured and I’m sure we can work out some type of compensation for your time and skills,” provocatively shifting her body against his and feeling his obvious interest through his jeans and her skirt.  Two soft kisses and one firm rotation of his hips later, she is internally debating the sturdiness of her desk and whether they have time for her to show him exactly what she means by ‘compensation’ before her next appointment shows up.

“That’s a very tempting offer, Ms. Smoak” he murmurs into her hair as his hand travels down her back and immediately finds its usual place on the curve of her shapely ass, pulling her impossibly closer, “but I’m afraid my current employer really needs me right now and I just can’t bear to leave her,” his free hand gesturing to the stroller where their daughter slumbers peacefully.

Felicity sighs, pure happiness filling her heart and clearing her mind as she rests her head on her husband’s chest to gaze lovingly at the chubby-cheeked, perfect amalgamation of her and Oliver they brought into the world just four short months ago.   “Sounds like she has you wrapped around her little finger.”  

Oliver rests his chin on the top of her head and she can hear the love and contentment in his voice when he whispers in her hair, “From the very first moment I met her.  She takes after her mother that way.”

A/N:  Thank you for reading!  I hope this helped to soothe the sting of all the angst.  Queen family feels FTW.  William was not in this fic because at that time of day, he should be in school and also I didn’t want to traumatize him any further with Olicity’s blatant flirty flirt.  The poor kid has seen enough already lol.  

Huge thanks and virtual hugs to @allimariexf and @hope-for-olicity for all the fun conversations and being all around wonderful :)

Oliver’s ‘current employer’ ;)

[sunshinexlollipops]

You mentioned your ‘zoo’ in one of your replies...what kind of animals do you have???👀

Oh! Yes! Be prepared for me to gush!

Trust me though, it isn’t exactly something WILD per say, but we have a lot of creatures here in my house.

At one point we had... about 15 fish in our house. All separate tanks. (Most were bettas, five of which were my own, and then we had three B.B. puffers, which two I owned.)

It’s always been crazy in some way.

Recently though, my last baby to come into the family was my eyelash crested gecko, Gogurt!

I got him December 1st, 2018 at a reptile convention in my area. While he’s rather plain for a crestie (which makes a name after yogurt so apt), his personality is the best! He was always calm with me and I love him to bits!

He was sleeping in his leaves up top (his favorite place to hang out apart from his driftwood) when I took pictures of him today though, so he was wanting to take a nap instead of a photoshoot!

This is his enclosure right now (just misted), which is a 10 gallon I’ve flipped onto its side. But it’s got real driftwood, moss, and some other goodies in there!

(There’s a shelf in the back that’s hidden behind the leaves, and that’s where I keep his Pangea! The watermelon is his fave, but I think Apricot is growing on him lol.)

He’s still a baby, and while he’s growing I’m working on his permanent home, a 20L gallon that I aim to make custom styrofoam inserts for!

It’s currently on the shelf above while I get it planned out and put together!

He’s really goofy, especially when I give him an occasional cricket, and I love to just sit and watch him crawl about his tank. He’s far too interesting!

As for my other big baby, I have a rescue guinea pig named Popcorn!

He was actually abandoned in the parking lot of my Petco in town on February 15th, 2018.

I was there and saw a woman drop him into the parking lot and drive off— he was so lucky he didn’t get run over!

I chased him down and caught him, which, he was having a FIELD DAY once he got into the grass of the medians, and he was pretty much mine ever since. My mom wasn’t exactly thrilled when I brought him home, and it being her birthday, she wasn’t expecting to go shopping for a guinea pig as part of the celebration, lol.

At one point he even had a custom cage I built, and it lasted... a minute.

This was it the day I finished it, but unfortunately he had other plans, and a few months ago he decided to chew the bottom I had made from coroplast down to the floor, and so a new cage had to be purchased the day of. :,)

This is his new cage now, and he seems happier in it. I guess the old one was too open? But he purred and popcorned (pretty much kicking his feet and jumping bc he’s so happy— it’s something guinea pigs do lol) as soon as he was in this one, and he hasn’t tried to chew his way out since!

I just cleaned it up earlier, and even though it’s not even close to October, I just love this spider fleece too much, lol.

He also got some fresh veggies, so unfortunately he was unavailable for comment today.

Otherwise I just have one betta, named Nico!

He’s in a 5 gallon— specifically the Fluval Spec!

He’s got all live plants, an Otto, and two feeder guppies that outlived my mother’s B.B. puffer that he’s friends with.

He was a low key rescue from a local pet store here in town, and they had him in a special tank /display for their live plants. The problem was, it that had rusty metal grids separating sections, and he was swimming in between them and the glass, and the ends of the wire were tearing his fins to shreds.

So I took him home and now he’s recovering! He really likes to sleep in the java moss I have, so I usually find him taking naps when he isn’t taking interest in his tank mates lol. (Which don’t worry, they get along just fine!)

But then, there’s my rescue beagle named Argos!

He was adopted from a local pound, one that is a kill shelter. His name was Ray at the time and he was estimated to be about nine or so.

That was December 12th, 2015 so he’s been with us for three years now!

He’s very quiet and he definitely had a rough time before we came to us. He has buckshot under his skin from when someone shot him, and he gets very anxious and scared at a lot of things.

He also doesn’t bark, an oddity for beagles, unless I’m coming home or there’s a burger with his name on it.

And last but not least, my boi Mummble!

He’s a little mutt of a cat, but he has been with us his entire life.

We owned his mother, Lucy, who had been mistreated at a local pet store. They had given her four or five rabies shots (they didn’t keep her records properly) when she was a kitten, and she was too sick to spay. Our vet at the time believed that an operation like that would’ve killed her, so we weren’t able to spay her due to this.

But, we were also told that she was almost “chemically neutered” in the sense that would affect her development, and it did. Despite not being fixed, Lucy didn’t have heats until she was three or four, and when we found out when she suddenly had kittens out of nowhere. She didn’t show any signs of a heat OR pregnancy, and it surprised us!

Unfortunately, one didn’t make it, but she had a proud litter of three babies! And Mummble was one of those! He was born March 8th, 2008.

We kept him ever since, and he’s been my boy the entire time!

My favorite thing he does is he’ll jump on my bed and he will curl up in my arm and we’ll sleep like he’s my teddy bear lol. Otherwise he doesn’t tolerate anyone else really and is known to others to be an ass, so I’m a magical exception to everything and I’m one of the few people he’ll let get away with almost anything.

But that’s all of MY animals!

Otherwise, there’s four other cats and some fish, and my sister got an axolotol yesterday!

So yes, there’s a bit to keep up with, lol. Hope you enjoyed, anon! Thanks for asking about ‘em!

[asahi-no-kagayaki]

Rainbow 6 OCs

I!!!!! Finally!!!!!! Finished!!!!! My!!!! Rainbow 6 Siege OCs!!!!!!!!!!! I’m really happy how this kinda turned out jifjfi my new babies i love them. I’m gonna have so much fun implementing them in r6s universe lmao i’m gonna post my first (r6) fic about them soon lol

Also i cant draw shit so i made their (casual-look ofc cuz cant find military-chara sheet thing) character design using Picrew (this website is really great btw) so dont blame me if theyre looking too anime-y jdojofjfo

More info about OCs below!!!!

1. Beruang (’Bear’ in Indonesian) Real Name: Lukman Susilo Sanjaya Age: 37 (As of 2019) Organization: Kopassus Position: Attacker Birthplace: Tegal, Central Java, Indonesia Date of Birth: January 12, 1982 Height: 5'10'' (1.79m) Weight: 177lbs (80kg) Armor: Medium Speed: Medium

Appearance: He wears standard Kopassus uniform but his face is covered by black half-mask and shades. In his free time, he usually wears bland t-shirt and sport pants. He’s kinda hairy, has a little bit of stubble and scar under his right eye. (Casual look:)

Personality: Serious 24/7. Difficult to approach since he only gives necessary/short answers if asked. He never seeks company of other people, and sometimes can be oblivious about things not related to his job. 

Appears stoic, but it’s not because he doesn't have any feelings. He just doesn't know or can't express his emotion to other people except Jasmine. Lowkey insecure about himself, like thinking he's 'not good enough' and people deserves someone better than him.

It's hard for him to have a close relationship with other people other than Kirana because of his insecurity as well his oblivious and stoic personalities. It's not impossible, just hard and take a lot of work before someone could call Lukman their friend or even boyfriend.

Special Gadget: Bear Knuckles - It's basically a pair of gloves shaped like bear paws, used to further increase the power of Lukman's fist (It should be noted that his punch is already strong before he put on the gloves), allowing him to break any surfaces (except steel, for now at least). Yes, it's technically like Sledge's hammer but it's his fist instead lol. Punching a person without holding back with this will likely put them unconscious or heavily injured. 

Unfortunately, it's powered by battery and can only be used a few times before it runs out. It must be charged before he can use it.

Short Biography: As a son of the current Major General of Indonesian's Special Forces Kopassus, Beruang's life was revolved around how to be just like his father. With his incredible strength and agility, coupled with knowledge of various martial arts, a fight without a weapon is what he shines the most. Calm and obedient, Beruang is one of excellent soldier Kopassus had, a War Machine ready to serve under his country.

Psychological Report: Suffers from a condition where he can't express his emotion and low self-esteem where he claimed that he's never good enough. It is believed that harsh training and upbringings from the environment he lived in was the cause of those problems. While he's good at his job, his social skill is very lacking, and he himself appears to be distancing himself with his teammates other than one person.

2. Jasmine Real Name: Kirana Tunggadewi Pitaloka Age: 26 (As of 2019) Organization: Kopassus Position: Defender Birthplace: Malang, East Java, Indonesia Date of Birth: July 18, 1993 Height: 5'5'' (1.65m) Weight: 131 lbs (59kg) Armor: Light Speed: Fast

Appearances: wears standard Kopassus uniform and her face is also covered with black half-mask and shades. In her free time, she usually wears colorful clothes, along with this black-chocker thing she always wear. She has short, neck-length straight short hair.  (Casual look:)

Personality:

She has two personas. A facade she used to manipulates others: Kind, supportive, and positive. And then her real self, which so far only Six and Lukman knows: Lazy, vengeful, manipulative, and cold. She loves gossip, and although usually lazy, she will put a lot of effort into works that beneficial/important to her (such as maintaining her face around other operators or learning 'perfect english' before joining Rainbow). 

But, Kirana is loyal and helpful towards people she thinks as her friends. If they're in trouble, you bet Kirana will try to cheer them up or maybe even hurt those who hurt her friends. She can be easily stressed, which surfaced as paranoia and mild anxiety. She also has abandonment issues, but no one know about this.

Due to her upbringings and her job as a spy, she would do anything to obtain important information she ordered to. Like for example, if someone ask her for intercourse in exchange of information, she would do it as long that information is very important and worth the deal (if not, she wouldn't do it and if they lied about it, she would kill them on site). She doesn't believe in and sometimes even disgusted with people in romantic relationship (like dating/engaged/married/etc), especially those who is in relationship with their workmates, but she's down for one night stand and such.

(It's not impossible for her to be in romantic relationship, but it is very hard to tie her in it)

Special Gadget: White Petals - Five small gadgets shaped together to look like jasmine flower. There's two set of this, one that function like Kapkan's gadget: Putting it on the side of a doors/windows/any openings and watch as everyone that walk through it get electrocuted. It's strong electric surge could even renders someone unconscious. Unfortunately, people could just jumped over/crawled under the gadgets to avoid it when it activates. But the gadget itself is very small, so it can be difficult to spot.

The second set of White Petals is a gadgets that works kinda like smoke grenade, usually used by Jasmine when she have to run. When thrown, it filled the entire room with a special, thick smokes that not even drone could see through. Unfortunately, it last only for a couple of seconds.

Short Biography: Born and raised in a family where her parents worked as spies, naturally Jasmine herself was shaped to be one. Claimed to be one of the best spy her country ever had, she never failed to complete her mission in obtaining and gathering information. While her firearms skill is lacking compared to other operators, her skill of espionage, her cunning thinking, and her good self-defense skill prove herself to be a spy to be reckoned with.

Psychological Report: Her facade personality seems to be a defense mechanism she put up to make herself appears benign and easy to communicate with, which what she needed for her job so she would be least suspicious. On rare cases someone's grow suspicious of her, she would be stressed which resort to anxiety and paranoia. Regardless, she doesn't have any issues in engaging in large group of individuals and offers genuine help and advice to people she care about.

3. Angel Real Name: Florence Marie Walanda Tambayong Age: 31 (As of 2019) Organization: Indonesian National Armed Forces (Land) Position: Defender Birthplace: North Minahasa, North Sulawesi, Indonesia Date of Birth: April 29, 1988 Height: 5'7'' (1.70m) Weight: 143 lbs (65kg) Armor: Light Speed: Fast

Appearance: Wearing standard Indonesian Army uniform, also wears crucifix-necklace. In her free time, she usually wears long-sleeves black/gray/white/pink shirts with silly designs (like some Indonesian words or random bootleg characters) or sweaters and capri pants. If she's on duty treating operators in the medical facility, she wears lab coat, surgical mask, and white gloves. Also her skin is darker compared to the other two ops. (Casual look:)

Personality: Brutally honest but also cheerful and friendly. She likes to socialize/interact with everyone, joining any kind of 'fun' activities, and laugh the loudest at jokes that’s not even funny. She cares a lot about her teammates' condition, so much to the fact that if she ever see any kind of injury or sickness, she will 'fix' them. She doesn't care if they refuse her treatment, she WILL treat them with or without their permission.

She's very dedicated and focus on her works. Even if she lose her limbs, as long she's still has consciousness and able to move, she will try her damnest to treat injuries and sickness.  

Special Gadget: Nightingale - A first aid kit she named after a figure she idolizes. Said kit is filled with numerous vitamins, boosters, bandages, medicines, scissors, needles, etc. It's equipped with every medical stuff you can imagine, people wonders how the hell can all that stuffs are stored in it. The gadget itself isn't very special, but Angel's adrenaline rush make her performs medical operations perfectly whenever she uses this kit on someone, so it's more like a mixture of a very-equipped first aid kit and Angel's excellent determination to save lives, just like Florence Nightingale.

In game, this could heals or revives operators to full-health with additional 30 health points. Unfortunately, it can only be used thrice before it ran out.

Short Biography: Her involvement in medical world began at University of Indonesia where she eventually got her medical degree. After that, she worked as a nurse in a local hospital before she joined Indonesian Red Cross Society and eventually served as medical staff in Indonesian Army. With her excellent comprehension of human anatomy, she vowed to erase sickness and pain from everyone.

Psychological Report: With her optimism and carefree attitude, Angel has no trouble making friends in every place she stay. However, trauma about her failure to nurse injured civilians back to health in 2009 Sumatra Earthquake took a toll in her mental state. This resulted in her strong dedication and commitment in her job, which usually would be a good thing to have but it made her force anyone with injuries or sickness, no matter how small it is, to be nursed by her. She doesn't take no for an answer, in fear of her past experiences. It is best for one to approach her in a healthy condition.

Trivia:

- Jasmine studied in Airlangga University and got bachelor's degree in Psychology, Angel studied in University of Indonesia and got (obviously) medical degree, while Beruang studied in military academy.

- Jasmine speaks Japanese to some extent, like she doesn't know proper grammar for each situation (Japanese has different grammars for any situation, like speaking in workplace or towards elders for example) but she can understand and communicate in it. She studied it all by herself, mostly because she's a weeb.

- As said before, Jasmine is a big weeb. She watches a lot of Japanese dramas or animes, also plays a couple of Japanese's mobile games like Fate/Grand Order and Love Live. This is what she mostly do in her free time.

- All of them like spicy food, although Jasmine likes sweet food a little more. As such, if they're cooking a meal you bet it will be spicy as fuck.

- Beruang loves coffee while Jasmine and Angel loves iced tea. Both Beruang and Jasmine doesn't like alcohol, although Jasmine might drink wine or champagne a little, while Angel is open to trying variety of alcohol drinks.

- Jasmine's hobbies includes cooking and gaming, Beruang's hobbies are reading history or watching documentary films, and Angel's hobbies are treating patients and jogging.

- Regarding their sexuality, Beruang is gay (still in the closet, only Jasmine knows). Jasmine's down to have sex with anyone so she’s more of a pansexual, while Angel is straight but dedicates her life to her work so much she doesn't care about romance or sexual activities.

- As said before in his special gadget entry, Beruang is strong. Literally strong, his fist could destroy wood in a second without him putting his gloves on. Although without his gadget, he can't destroy bricks and such (might leave a dent on it though). If angry (which is thankfully unusual), he can't control his power and might break something he hold at the moment.

- As mentioned in his biography, out of various martial arts' learned, Beruang is great at judo and silat. He would use Judo technique the most in a fight, though.

- Beruang thinks of Jasmine as his little sister, while Jasmine thinks of Beruang as either her best friend or a dad. They have close platonic relationship regardless, although Jasmine had a crush on him a while ago (before she knew he's gay).

- While regarding Angel, Jasmine and her dislike each other. Beruang is neutral with Angel, and Angel regards him as a friend.

- Beruang's favorite animals: German shepherd. Jasmine's favorite animal: any cats. Angel's favorite animals: Parrot.

[endlessly-searching-for-you]

Hail, Rain or Sunshine (Sloane x F!MC)

A/N: Hello, it’s @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul Fluffy Friday again! This time my girl Sloane gets some love (ha! Surprise!). As requested by @zaffrenotes - “The text that changed everything” and @likethetailofacomet - “Stuck in the rain”. Hope you enjoy :) 

PS. I swear I wrote most of it before I was snatched for a surprise weekend in the mountains!

Warnings: none, pure fluff

Word Count: ~1300

As usual, title stolen from a song (by The Script)

Tagging the rest of my usual squad: @darley1101 @brightpinkpeppercorn @mind-reader1

Hiking. Of all things they could do together this weekend, Kai had to choose hiking. Sloane rubbed her eyes and sighed. She wasn't an outdoorsy person, and she didn't like to wake up early either, but how could she say no to her girlfriend?

Her girlfriend. Even thinking about her was giving Sloane butterflies in the stomach. It's been almost a month, but sometimes it was still too hard to believe it's happening for real.

One day she had a drink too much and confessed her crush. What's even worse, via text. Not that she hoped for anything—just like they say, a drunk mind speaks a sober heart—and she regretted sending it almost immediately. But the next day, when she sat in a chair curled up in a miserable bundle with her cat Ruby in her lap, nursing the headache and looking for programmer jobs in Alaska, Kai called her back.

Well... tried to call. When Sloane recognized the caller ID, she let out a loud shriek and threw her phone like a football champion. The phone hit the wall, making a dent and cracking the screen, bounced off and landed in Ruby's water bowl. That last thing was too much for the fragile electronics' dignity to handle, and despite her best efforts to revive it, the phone stayed dead.

Just as she widened her search area to the remote outskirts of Europe (was Bydgoszcz even a real city?!), she heard a noise behind the door. Two people whispered animatedly, female voice soft and pleading, male hoarse and annoyed. She moved closer, wondering which of her neighbors were it this time.

“Come on, Kai. You know I can't just break into her apartment because she doesn't answer your calls!”

“But Damien, please... I know her. I'm worried. She would never... never...” Kai choked with sobs. “What if it's this Eros thing all over again—”

“Kai, please. You know we shut them down for good.”

“What if we didn't?”

Oh crap. Sloane didn't expect Kai to come here, let alone take Damien with her. And she definitely didn't expect her to be in tears because she thought Eros kidnapped her. Think, think, think!!! She pressed her forehead to the door and tried to collect her thoughts. It was too late to run. Time to face the music. She cracked open the door just a little and peeked sheepishly at her two friends.

“Hey.”

“Oh God, Sloane, you're fine!” Kai jumped into her arms, almost knocking her down. “I can't believe it! What were you thinking?! You had me worried!” She whispered, peppering her face with kisses.

“Uh... Clearly, you two don't need me. I'll see myself out.” Damien smiled awkwardly, but they didn't even hear or see him, already headed inside the apartment.

Sloane smiled at the memory. It was probably the only time when drunk texting made someone happy.

She grabbed her coffee and went through the checklist again. She spent the last few nights looking for a perfect packing list and helpful tips on the internet, barely getting any sleep, just to make sure they were prepared for everything the wildlife could throw at them.

If only that thing wasn't so heavy, she sighed, looking at the giant backpack propped against the wall. The seller insisted it was too big for a woman her size, but Sloane snapped at him. She heard the phrase way too many times and was already tired with it. Can't graduate from MIT? Can't be a programmer? Can't have a girlfriend? Can't have the backpack she wants?! Oh yes, she can and she will! She left the store with her head up, clutching the backpack to her chest, feeling like she had won a battle. But right now, when she tried to pull it up from the floor, she started to consider the possibility of the seller being just a little bit right.

Maybe we don't really need the tent, she thought. Or the camping stove. Or the electric marshmallow toaster. Yes, the toaster was definitely overkill, but it was too late to repack the whole thing again. With a loud groan, she lifted it from the floor and took one last glance in the mirror. Kai would love her khaki shorts, she thought and felt a surge of panic. Weather! Out of habit, she was checking the forecasts for the city, and the two wasn't necessarily the same. She dashed to her laptop, but at the same time, Kai knocked at the door and burst in without waiting for her response.

“Hurry up! We're gonna miss our bus!” Her eyes widened, and she broke into a fit of giggles when she noticed Sloane's luggage. “Oh dear. You know you didn't have to take the whole house with you, right? It's just two days!”

“You know I like to be prepared.”

“Fine. But don't come to me for help!”

“We'll see who will be asking for help!” Sloane scowled at her girlfriend, running down the stairs. “You'll come back begging me to share my tent when it rains!”

“Relax. There won't be any rain, I checked.”

***

“I think we're walking in circles,” Sloane sighed, looking around. “I'm pretty sure I saw this rock already.”

“We're in the mountains. There are a lot of rocks.”

“Yes, but this one looks like a cat. See? Here are his ears...” She pointed at the rock, her finger drawing shapes in the air, and Kai chuckled.

“You're right!” She looked at her girlfriend. “On both counts. We lost the trail.”

“And it looks like it's going to rain, too.”

Sloane was right on that one as well. The sky, bright blue just an hour ago, was now filling quickly with grey clouds. Sun was still peeking through the leaves, but the gentle breeze had a hint of stinging cold. Kai shivered a little and looked to Sloane with a smile, fluttering her eyelashes.

“You don't happen to have an umbrella?”

“No.”

“Even for me?  Pretty please?”

“Especially for you!” Sloane snapped in response, but her eyes crinkled and a smile played at the corners of her mouth.

Kai sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Very well. It will be your fault if I get sick. Bring it on, heavens! My girlfriend doesn't care about me!” She tilted her head to the clouds and spread her hands, and as if on cue, the first drop landed on her nose, eliciting a scream of surprise from her lips.

Sloane dropped her backpack on the ground and tried to unstrap the shelter tent, but Kai stopped her, grabbing her hand. The rain around them grew thicker, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. It was still warm, feeling more like a morning shower than rain. The leaves glittered, the soil under their feet grew darker, thousands of tiny droplets trickled down their skin.

Kai took a deep breath, closing her eyes and reveling in a childlike joy. “Can you smell it?”

“You mean the wet soil? It's called petrichor, from Greek words petra meaning stone, and ichor - the blood of the gods, but it's actually caused by a type of bacteria—”

Kai's lips landed on hers, silencing her, and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, Kai's thumb caressing her cheek, her other hand pulling her closer and closer until there was no space between them left. She began to sway her hips rhythmically, forcing Sloane to move with her, and she gasped in surprise.

“What are you doing?!”

“Dancing in the rain!”

“You're mad.”

“I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.” She touched her forehead to Sloane's. “And before you ask, yes, it's a quote.”

“From Alice in Wonderland. I know. I could never understand that book.”

“Oh dear. Are you sure you're not switched with a Match? Can you describe one of Nadia's paintings for me?” Kai giggled, looking at her girlfriend's shocked face and pushing a wet lock off her face. “I'm just kidding! Just kidding!” She kissed her nose. “It's not like I can understand them, either.”

---

And now, before you ask why Sloane’s cat doesn’t have a geeky name - she does! Ruby is a programming language (used by yours truly). And while it’s not a first choice for AI programming, it can be used with good results. Python and Java (top choices) doesn’t sound as nice, don’t you think?

[antitheticalsymbiosis-blog]

Beginning the long journey... (Year 0, Day 1 [sorta])

As I begin down this long and arduous path, I figured why not catalog all of my progress (and failures) in a blog for the world to see! 

All memes aside, I should probably begin with an

INTRODUCTION:

I’m Manuel; my friends call me Manny. I’m a recent graduate from a bachelor of music (B.Mus) program in southern California where I was fortunate enough to meet some great friends, mentors, and professionals who helped guide and inspire me to create some awesome aural artwork. I’ve loved music for as long as I could remember, and it was always something that drove me to be my best. I’ve aspired to play many instruments from a young age and always sought perfection trying to master their intricacies. I studied both composition and saxophone performance in college, while frequently freelancing as an audio engineer (my current line of work).

But wait, isn’t this a game development blog?: Yes, yes it is.

Due to a variety of circumstances and personal interests, I’ve decided to jump ship from one extremely difficult creative field (concert/classical/experimental music) to another (game development), leaving behind a life I feel indebted to and, honestly, still love very much. I’ve been thinking of making this jump for quite some time (a year or so), with a long, loooooong history of engaging with the video game medium on a deeply-infatuated level, which ultimately backs up this decision. Throughout my life, video games always played a pivotal role in my own forms of expression, happiness, leisure, and community. From my very first Gameboy Color to the now flourishing Nintendo Switch, from Pokemon to Monster Hunter to Bioshock and more, I’ve been hooked. Honestly, I’ve always considered these worlds my second, third, fourth, and n-th homes. Because of this, I’ve felt like I have a duty to give back to the community however I can. After five years of collegiate study and ridding the struggle bus, I realize that there’s no better time than the present to chase this dream. THE NOW, or WHERE TO START:

In firmly deciding on this change, I didn’t necessarily know where to begin. Hell, I didn’t even really know what careers or roles existed in the game development community. After finding scouring the internet and finding some helpful resources, I was blown away at the sheer amount of readjusting I’d need to do to even think about entering this field. 

For example, this messy bundle of terms flooded my brain while trying to get a grasp of the industry:

Senior-level

Lead

Technical Director

Junior-level

Temp

Frequent moving

Designer

Level Design

Mechanics

Game Design Document

UX/UI

Programmer

Game Engine

Systems

Game Engines:

Unreal

Unity

Doom

Quake

C++

Python

Scripting

Engineer

Architecture

Audio

Tools

Networking

Artist

Environment Artist

Concept

3ds MAX

Maya

Autodesk

Animation

Skeletal Meshes

QA

Automated Scripting

Debug Databases

Localization

Producer

Disengaged from content creation

Overseer

Independent

Freedom to create vs automated jobs in AAA

AAA companies

Subsidiary studios

Outsourcers

Art

Animation

Publishing

Audio

First-Party Studios

Publishers

Outsourcing

Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs)

Marketing

Analysts

Free-to-Play

Microtransactions

Community

Blogging

Twitch

Streamers

Issues

Pay Disparity

Poverty

Under-appreciated

Sexism

Representation

Minorities/POC

And this list over-simplifies the complex web these roles create with each other. That being said, the last month or so has consisted of me scouring the internet for resources, deciding on what my long-term and short-term goals are, and orienting myself towards taking on Goliath.

MOVING FORWARD:

After being bombarded with this information, I decided that the best course of action for moi was to shoot for a game engineering/programming role, as I also had a brief two-year stint in astrophysics research and STEM coursework during my undergraduate degree. Another one of my passions, the STEM fields have always held a dear place in my heart and I picked up a lot of programming skills/languages in college, notably Java & Python. Intensive music study has also done wonders for the technically-oriented work I currently do, so I figured it would be fun to challenge myself with STEM-oriented work once again. So far, I hold a great, great admiration for lead game designers like Hideo Kojima and others, so design is also something I’m looking into. RESOURCES:

In doing my research, I’ve found a variety of extremely helpful resources that provided me with the insight to start this journey. I’ll post the most helpful ones below: GameDevUnchained (Podcast/Website): 

This podcast, hosted by Brandon Pham & Larry Charles (both established AAA game developers), explores the current state of affairs in the video game industry. Their conversations are filled with wit, charm, and tons of information, from wage negotiation and employment to indie development and technical direction. No topic is missed* (well, except for the exact technical aspects of being an artist, developer, or programmer). Despite this slight oversight, it’s still worth its weight in gold due to the fact that they bring in a new guest every week who touches on a specific topic. I’ve gained most of my working knowledge about the industry’s complexities from this source. [Currently on episode: 26] Game School Online (GSO): 

This revolutionary piece of pedagogy is an online game development school that is ENTIRELY FREE. Founded and ran by the hosts of GameDevUnchained, GSO’s main focus is free game development education with a focus on artwork, modeling, and technical artistry done through the Unreal 4 engine. The school is optionally supported through Patreon and provides special benefits to subscribers; however, a subscription isn’t necessary to enroll. Enrollment periods happen 4 times a year, with heavy waitlists for non-subscribers due to the need to keep class numbers down. Their educators consist of “Scholars” who teach and monitor the courses, all of whom are active AAA/Indie developers. Notable Scholars include Brandon Pham, Larry Charles, Leo Gonzales, Olaf Piesche (my mentor!), Matt Brown, Tai Chen, and many others. For subscribers, there’s the option to interact 1-on-1 with scholars, serving as lessons and mentorships to poise the budding student to enter the field. I’m currently a $40/month subscriber, which gets me a 30-minute session every month with Olaf. I’d like to stress, however, that at its current state GSO seems heavily oriented towards artists, with the art-oriented roles overshadowing the engineer/programmer roles 8-to-2. In addition, all classes are oriented towards art or design. This means Olaf & Matt are only doing 1-on-1 sessions. -_- *Oh well, better than nothing.*

The next two are both variations on the paid-online-schooling trope, but they seem alright nonetheless... 

Coursera:

Coursera is a platform that hosts specialized “certification” courses that were designed by universities around the world. These certification courses are essentially a compilation of videos, assignments, and online templates that are moderated by online staff (and presumably not monitored by the actual course instructors ever). Each certification consists of about 4-6 classes and takes anywhere from 6 months to a year to complete. Each class runs an average of 1-2 months and has about 1 assignment due every week. There is a peer-grading system which can be iffy at times, but it’s worked out well for me so far. The only downside is that these courses can be EXPENSIVE; however, there are financial aid options for those of us *ahemmeahem* that can’t afford the costs. Luckily, my cost for the first class was waived completely. I’m currently enrolled in the Game Design certification course created by Cal Arts. I’ll be updating you all on my progress every week as I work through this course. Something odd I’ve noticed is that the videos for the Intro to Game Design course are astoundingly short; I’m surprised this course costs anything at all given the kind of information I’ve received out of it so far.

Udemy:

Like its quasi-academic counterpart, Udemy hosts courses created by content creators (I’m not too sure on the qualifications these creators have...) that consists primarily of video tutorials. The beautiful thing about Udemy is that, unlike Coursera, their courses often times cost very little if you go through the right channels! This means promo codes from websites like IGN or your favorite tech reviewer, etc etc. I was fortunate enough to grab the Unreal Crash Course course for $10 through an IGN promotion last month. Also unlike Coursera, there are no assignments or grading systems in place for your work. Instead, there are often forums that host dozens and dozens of posts from current and past students of the course. This feature has felt surprisingly fresh and fun; however, not receiving a lot of direct feedback has its downsides. I’ve been slowly chugging away at this course, having finished 1/4th of it so far. I’ve also found that there tends to be much more technical work to be learned from Udemy as opposed to Coursera (in terms of game development); however, this may just be my limited scope, as I haven’t looked around too much more.

Game Engine Architecture, Third Edition by Jason Gregory 

(Naughty Dog Lead Programmer):

This book is AMAZING for the aspiring game engineer, as it’s filled to the brim with a detailed analysis of common game engine architecture as told by the lead programmer at Naughty Dog (go Uncharted/Last of Us teams!!!!). I’m currently in the second chapter of the book, but to give a brief overview of its entirety along with my own descriptions below each heading:

Introduction

“discusses the ins and outs of the industry

Tools of the Trade

“an in-depth look into programming tools”

Fundamentals of Software Engineering for Games

“development cycles and tool usage”

Parallelism and Concurrent Programming

“the title says it all”

3D Math for Games

“3D geometry and Linear Algebra, along with programming algorithms” (go STEM!)

Engine Support Systems

“a look at memory and systems”

Resources and the File System

“how to handle game assets”

The Game Loop and Real-Time Simulation

“graphics rendering loops and gameplay loops, along with dealing with time”

Human Interface Devices

“dealing with I/O”

Tools for Debugging and Development

“the title says it all”

The Rendering Engine

“rasterization and rending pipelines”

Animation Systems

“skeletal meshes and processing”

Collision and Rigid Body Dynamics

“physics systems and other collision systems” (go STEM!)

Audio

“Dealing with sound design and 3D audio” (go music!)

Introduction to Gameplay Systems

“dealing with data, game objects, and world editors”

Runtime Gameplay Foundation Systems

“dealing with all of the constituent parts and updating the game”

You mean there’s more?

“more to be learned”

As you can tell, there’s a whole lot of information to be gained by reading a textbook like this. Jason states in the Foreword that this is really meant to be used to teach a three-class series on game programming at the university level; however, I find that you’ll be able to understand a lot of this pretty well so long as you have an ample amount of programming experience (preferably with C++). That being said, it’s a perfect springboard for me and I’m so eager to continue that I sort of want to finish writing this entry already so I can get back to it! *o* It cost about $85 for a physical copy and $47 for a digital copy (Kindle).

So, that wraps up my currently used resources list! I hope it can serve as a starting point for some of your own deep-dives into the world-wide-web for resources! CONCLUSION: Thanks for sticking with me this far everyone. I know I didn’t dive into my past that much, but I hope it gives you somewhat of an idea as to who I am. In starting this journey, I’ve realized the importance of documentation and reaching out to build a community with others, so I hope that we can all interact and take this journey together, in some form. Tomorrow I’ll be delving into my current projects that I’m aiming to work on and some of my personal inspiration for taking the game development plunge, as well as discuss what I’m currently working on in terms of study/development. I hope you all have a good day, and never feel like it’s too late to start chasing your dreams again! - Manny Extra: Game of the Day - Disgaea 1 Complete on Nintendo Switch I’ve loved this game since I first played it way back in the early 2000s, so when I heard this was coming to Switch as a slightly remastered port, I couldn’t wait! The updated artwork looks great and I’m eager to get all of those extra scenarios completed! ;) GO SRPGs!

[fitlifeblueprints]

The 5 pillars of FitLife

Fit life is such a general statement. So much can apply to it. It is such a simple approach and yet so overcomplicated.

When we say that someone look or live fit, what we, exactly refer to. Do we address the health aspect, or we judge by the outside look? When we decide to take that approach, what we are, actually thinking to change.

Today I thought I would share with you, what is, in my opinion the right approach. What I realize with the years of mistake and growth. I am going to list the steps that each person who finally decided to change his/her life should check, in order to achieve optimum health, permanent results, and as a side effect, good looking body.

Without further ado, let’s get started.

1. Prioritize sleep.

It is by far the most important pillar of health. The most underestimated tool for performance. The reason for so many accidents and diseases. The free supplement, people neglect in their arsenal. The ultimate recovery tool.

Our body is constantly exposed to damage. We think, create, move, work, train. We are constantly testing our physical abilities. We are constantly using or body resources and grinding the materials by just simply living. Night is the time to rest and recover. When we sleep, we rebuild the damaged tissue, make it stronger and more resilient.

I will give you an example:

Few months ago, I was learning the handstand. I was strong enough to hold it against the wall, but I was struggling a lot with the balance. I tried so many stuff. Training modalities, consistency, metronome for counting. And the furthest I got, was 10 sec of hold.

At that time, I happened to be reading the book “Why we sleep” by Dr. Matt Walker. One of the most eye opener for me personally. Such an interesting read. Did you know that lack of sleep is the number one cause of car accidents? Mind-blowing, right? Well I decided to test it and priorities my sleep. Yes, that meant no more Netflix and popcorn at night. No artificial or bright light and not eating around 2 hours before bed. I simply developed a routine that allowed me to have quantity (at least 7 to 8 hours) and quality (allowing my body to secrete melatonin) sleep.

As a result. 3 days later I held the handstand for whole 20 sec. That blew my mind.

It is not going to fix all your health problems, but it is worth trying. It is simple to manipulate. Trust me, you will be surprised.

2. Food intake.

As we already know, our body is constantly damaging and repairing itself. During rest we recover and rebuild, but we need the building blocks to do so. Let me ask you something. If you have the best engineers and machines on earth, but no bricks and cement, will you ever be able to build a house? And If you have the wrong size bricks and poor-quality cement, how strong is that house going to be?

See, food is the main source of energy and we must prioritize it too. Nowadays we have access to so much, I can’t even call it food, products which are full of toxins, preservatives, chemicals and what not. And all, to make it more palatable, have longer shelf life and be convenient. No surprise though. The industry must make tons of money after all. But all those bad quality foods-like products are fooling the society and are making that incredible machine called human body to function not as intended. To function with dis-ease.

There are thousands of recipes for a super tasty, delicious meals. And you can be creative too. Add your favorite spices, favorite sources of food, customize your cultural dishes to a healthier option and enjoy it.

And here is a perfect place to add something that I will be diving deeper in another blog, and that is the restriction part. Rather than restricting, learn how to not overindulge. In other words, when a colleague of yours ask you to go to the bakery for some chocolate desert, instead of saying “I cant have it”, learn to say I don’t want it, because… . There is time and place for everything, and everything in excess is bad.

3. Movement

There is no doubt at the phrase: Movement provides energy. When we move, every single cell in our body moves too and create electrical current signals. Have you ever felt sleepy and after a friend forced you to move or to stand up, you instantly get excited and the tiredness went away? Do a little test. Next time you are doing something stationary for longer and you feel tired, just count to 3, stand up and do some movements. Jumping, squatting, push ups, or even a short walk. It is simple. If we don’t move, we do not provide electricity, without electricity we have no energy, without energy, there is no life.

There is the other end of the movement, where people move so much, usually by training, so they overtrain. See, our body recovers at a certain state, with certain speed and has a limit to it. if we exceed the ability of our body to recover, in other words, on a regular basis, we damage more than we recover, we will end up degenerating.

I am going to dive deeper in another blog, but I want to quickly address the activity dislikes.

Activity does not have to be at the gym, lifting for the sake of it or running on the track, because your neighbor does it and he had managed to drop 20 kg for 1 year. Activity must be your preferred way of movement. There are so many sports that you can practice. Swimming, jumping rope, climbing, running, walking, cycling, dancing, moving objects, doing exercises with your body weight. List is so long. Try stuff, find your own thing and be active, because you like it, in order to be healthy. Fall in love with the process. Get better at that craft. Live happily.

4. Be happy.

If you don’t know what makes you happy, how are you going to know when happiness arrives.

Today`s days we are constantly running. Running towards stuff that we are thought to believe will give us happiness. We believe that more money, more possessions, more success will give us what we have ultimately wanted.

The sad truth is that most of the time we are fouled by our ego. See every time we are insulted, being laughed at, criticized, or even simply tease by someone, the ego kicks in.

It is the ultimate motivator. It is the voice in the back of our head saying “I will prove them wrong. It is, when your friend teased you, about how bad bartender you are, so you spent the next 4 years becoming the best bartender in the area, instead following your true desire – psychology. Sound familiar?

And what changed? We are so drowned into what we should, and should not do, where we should stay in the society, so we forget our own needs and believes. We push and push hard to prove someone, or ourselves and when we get to the destination, we suddenly realize that nothing changed. Everything Is the same, people still judge us, but now about something else. The only thing that changed – 4 years gone.

The point I am trying to make is that we should really take a step back, slow down and assess, what we truly want. Dance, sing, climb, study java script…, whatever. Reassessing the core values in our life which have been the bricks for the house we have been building.

We are constantly searching for the happiness, we truly desire, but are we pursuing the right one?

5. Be aware of your body needs.

The last, but not least is to be aware. To be present. To be able to know the reason for the condition we are in. Why am I feeling this way? Why I have this pain, why am I bloated, why I have no energy, why am I so moody today.

Almost all our health problems are result of the way we live. We are so drowned in today`s modern life, that we simply live on autopilot. We do not listen to our body. And the beauty of it is to learn to differ the signals. What does my body want? What does my body need?

If your grandma made your favorite cream dessert, which makes your mouth wet, just by thinking of it. Well maybe you can just taste a small piece and leave another one for tomorrow, instead of eating half of it and feeling heavy, bloated and tired the next day.

If your hips and lower back are fried form the heave deadlifts yesterday, but you just watched the legend Ronnie Coleman squatting for reps with 800 lb (360 kg), you get super motivated and want to go and smash your next PB. Well, may be that is not exactly what your body needs. You can do some hips and lower back mobility instead.

Being aware, simply mean to be accountable. This is where growth happens and therefore permanent life changes.

Instead of blaming the situation, the people around, the government, god, the universe. Have a look at the way you live your life. There might be a room for improvement.

[scilessecretsanta]

Christmas Magic

Sciles Secret Santa a gift for a dropped participant from @allirica!

Happy Holidays, I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful 2018! 

a sciles soulmate and coffee shop AU, all wrapped up in a Christmas bow. 

***

“I don’t think that’s pink enough.”

Stiles looked down at the heart he was carefully coloring in a vibrant, eye-searing shade of pink, and then back up at Erica, raising an eyebrow. “You think?”

She grinned, stealing one of the coloring pens to finish her own banner.  They’d both been put on poster duty, which Stiles didn’t mind so much, except he had the artistic ability of a potato and he generally preferred putting the decorations up, not making them.  He watched Kira wobble precariously on a chair as she pinned one side of a banner up, Isaac barely needing to stretch as he pinned the other side.

Java Nice Day had shut for general customers an hour ago, but they’d be opening again in another hour exclusively for the hopefuls that had signed up for their speed dating event.  It was the third one, the second since Stiles had started working there, and it was their manager’s pride and joy: a speed dating match up designed specifically to help people meet their soulmates.  The whole thing was tailored for people who were trying to find their soulmate and, since there’d been a huge boom in sales for card and gift companies in the last few years, it had been timed pretty perfectly.  People were more and more interested in the soulmate phenomenon, and more and more interested in finding theirs.  Anything that had ‘soulmate’ in the name sold pretty well.  Their coffee shop was the first to set up the whole soulmate speed dating thing, but others had followed.

Stiles liked to think that theirs was the best, though.  It definitely had to be the busiest.

They hosted one every few months and this was the first one during the Christmas period, so even more people had signed up than usual, hopeful to find their soulmate at the most magical time of the year, wanting to find someone to snuggle up with in front of a fire with.  Their usual decorations – garish pink hearts and banners, little cupids and candles, and a hideous amount of pink balloons – were mingled with red and gold Christmas decorations. 

It worked.

Kind of.

Stiles didn’t really buy into the whole soulmate idea.  The concept that there was some magical bond that defied logic and science, that bound people together, the idea that he had to be patient, that fate would do the work and someday, he’d find that person who was destined to be his one and only, it just didn’t ring true to him. 

He knew people who were soulmates.  He couldn’t deny its existence, not exactly, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept that it was a tangible thing rather than, simply, love. 

But he did love romance.  He liked the hideous decorations and the warm, excited atmosphere; he cherished the tingle in his belly and the fluttering of his heart when he was in love.  Unlike Erica, he actually did enjoy working the speed dating events, because soulmates or not, it was cool to see romance in action, to see people start to fall for each other.  And at this time of the year, with little flakes of snow drifting down outside and the lights on the Christmas tree casting a comforting glow across the coffee shop, it was the perfect night for it.

He finished the banner and popped the cap back on his pen, tossing it over to Erica.  His were all done and he got to work hanging them up, putting the finishing touches to the decorations. 

It kind of looked like a Valentine’s Day card factory had exploded, but it at least looked like a deliberate explosion, so Stiles left Kira and Isaac to keep arguing about a display of balloons, heading over to help Erica fill up the display with baked goods.  Derek, their baker, had gone home after closing – he hated working these events – but he’d worked hard on making little love heart shaped cookies and cakes and brownies. 

While the others got the tables ready, Stiles made sure the machines were ready and everything was at hand, tying his apron around his waist.  At seven, Kira opened the doors and Stiles put on his best smile.

The next half hour was a whirlwind of serving drinks and cakes.  It was crisp and cold outside, little gusts of wind making the snowflakes dance, so he was pouring hot chocolate after hot chocolate, finishing them with whipped cream and heart shaped flakes of chocolate and a warm grin.  It slowed down gradually, a steady drip of customers rather than the initial flood, and Stiles was a little relieved when people started taking their seats.  He’d turned to wipe the counter when the bell above the door jingled and a guy rushed in, a sheepish smile on his face as he approached the counter.

“Am I late?”

Stiles set the cloth aside and looked up. “Nope, you’re just in…” he met the dude’s eyes and felt his smile falter slightly. “…time.”

He was probably Stiles’ age and almost unbearably good looking, with dark hair poking out from under his beanie and a soft looking scarf around his neck.  He had a warm smile made slightly crooked by his jaw, and his eyes, now widening as he stared back at Stiles, were a deep brown, reflecting the lights on the Christmas tree so his irises danced with little flecks of green and red and gold.

“Hi,” Stiles offered lamely.

He blinked a couple of times. “Uh, hi,” he said finally. “So…not late?”

“Not late,” Stiles agreed, a little dazed, then added, “Everyone’s just taking their seats. Can I get you anything?”

He wondered if the other man could feel it, too.  The weak kneed, warm, good feeling that was lighting up Stiles’ entire being.  He felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t want this feeling to go away.  He felt like he’d found something he hadn’t even known he wanted, but now it was here, all he could think was, oh, it’s you.

The guy finally pulled his gaze away, looking up at the board behind the counter, and the magnetic pull shattered.  Stiles’ world clicked back into place, his feet back on solid, familiar ground.  He looked down at his hands, gripping the counter, counted his white knuckles and told himself to stop being weird.

“A hot chocolate would be great, thanks.”

Stiles busied himself making the drink.  It took him longer than usual because he focused entirely on each element, going at a sluggish pace, forcing the task to yank his mind away from whatever had just happened.  Finally, he popped a candy cane onto the rim of the mug and slid it across the counter. 

He carefully avoiding looking at the other man’s eyes as he paid and tipped, but he caught the slightly confused smile on his face as he said, “Thanks. I’ll just…go take my seat.”

Stiles gestured awkwardly towards Erica. “She’ll check you in and give you your name tag.”

“Thanks,” the guy said again, pausing slightly before he finally walked over to Erica, mug cradled carefully in his hands.

Stiles blew out a breath, ducking behind the relative privacy of the machines.  He leaned against the counter, letting it support his weight since his knees still felt funny. 

“Get it together, Stiles, you weirdo,” he muttered to himself.

Isaac glanced up from replacing brownies in the display case, raising an eyebrow.  Stiles shrugged.  Yeah, he didn’t really know what was up with him, either.

He kept his head down for the rest of the evening, focused on fixing the occasional drink for customers, or wiping down the counter, or cleaning up some spilled milk, anything to keep him distracted.

It didn’t work.

He kept glancing up at the guy, trying to be discreet.  He couldn’t stop himself.  Every time the bell chimed, his gaze snapped up almost automatically, watching the other man move from table to table.  He smiled a lot, this huge, warm, unabashed smile that lit up his entire face and made his eyes sparkle.  Stiles’ chest ached with how gorgeous it was.  He laughed a lot, too, with his whole body; when he talked, he used his hands, leaning in intimately, and when he listened, his whole focus was on the person talking to him, so open and attentive.

 “You should ask him out.”

Stiles jumped slightly, pulling his gaze away to look at Kira.  She sipped from a bottle of water and offered him an encouraging smile.

“His name’s Scott, Erica told me. You should ask him out.”

Stiles shook his head. “Nope. He’s here looking for his soulmate.”

She nudged him in the side. “So you know he’s single and looking for a relationship.”

“He’s looking for a soulmate,” Stiles repeated. “He’s here speed dating. He’s not here to pick up a barista.”

“So what? It’s not unprofessional, you’re not breaking any rules. And how often do people actually find their soulmate at these things? You like him, right?”

Stiles glanced over at Scott. “He’s here speed dating,” he said again, quiet. “One of those people will ask him out or take him home. ‘Cause look at him, he’s perfect, who wouldn’t?”

Kira opened her mouth to reply, but Stiles just offered a quick smile, patting her gently on her elbow as he passed to see to a customer approaching the counter.  She was one of the one’s Scott had already talked to; they’d had to drag themselves away from each other when the bell jingled, so focused on their conversation.  She was pretty, with dark curls and dimples, and when Stiles smiled at her as he made her drink, she smiled back warmly. 

The evening wound down slowly.  Stiles watched people pair off, pink cheeked and smiling, stepping outside into the snow, safe and warm in their bubbles of romance.  He started cleaning the coffee machines, tired and not looking forward to his trek home in the wet cold.  He was ready for bed.

The woman with dimples was one of the last to leave and, to his surprise, she walked out with her hand linked with a short redhead.  Stiles looked for Scott and saw him stood by one of the tables.  Inexplicably, his heart pounded, nerves tripping up his lungs. 

Scott stepped towards him and Stiles turned away, untying his apron to hang it up in the staff room. 

By the time he walked back out, the lights were dimmed and Scott was gone.

***

The coffee shop was quiet the next day.

It was always less busy on Sundays, but usually in the run up to Christmas, the place was heaving with customers grabbing a drink between stressful shopping.  It was snowing heavily, though, the ground outside covered in a thick blanket of snow with more drifting down in wild flurries.  The flakes stuck to the windows of the coffee shop, obscuring Stiles’ view outside.  It was hard to tell the white ground apart from the grey sky.  Occasionally, a car trundled past slowly, its headlights lighting everything up with a brilliant yellow. 

Stiles hadn’t wanted to risk his jeep in the snow, so he’d braved the walk to work.  His jeans still felt soggy; he didn’t blame people for staying at home.

He was tasting one of the new Christmas brownies when the bell jingled above the door and he quickly set it aside out of view, wiping crumbs away from his mouth as he approached the counter with a smile.

 It faltered slightly when he saw it was Scott.

He was bundled up against the cold, hat tucked down over his ears and scarf pulled up to keep his chin warm.  His hands were shoved into his pockets and he offered a smile as he stopped at the counter.

“Hey.”

Stiles fiddled with a stack of cups, quirking a quick smile. “Hey. What can I get you?”

Scott’s gaze flickered up to the drinks board, then back down, trying to catch Stiles’ eyes. “A hot chocolate, if that’s okay?”

“Sure thing. We’ve got classic hot chocolate, black forest, brandy cherry, peppermint, or white and raspberry,” Stiles rattled off, already reaching for a cup.

“Uh…peppermint sounds great, thanks.” Scott watched Stiles scribble the order on a slip of paper and punch it into the till. “I was here yesterday. For the speed dating thing? I don’t know if you remember me.”

“I sure do. I always remember a handsome face.” Stiles quipped before he could help it.

He looked up sharply a second later, opening his mouth, but Scott was watching him with a grin, eyes sparkling in the shop’s soft lighting.  Stiles looked back down at the till, a smile tugging at his own mouth.

“That’s three dollars.”

Scott slid the bills across the counter and stuffed a couple more into the tip jar.  Stiles handed the cup and slip of paper to Erica and held out the receipt to Scott. 

He was wearing soft, fingerless grey gloves and his skin brushed slightly against Stiles’ as he took the receipt.  Stiles felt the thrill of warmth all the way down to his toes and pulled his hand away quickly, clearing his throat. 

“Erica will be right over with your drink.”

Scott slowly dropped his own hand, thumb brushing over the fingers Stiles had touched as he tucked his hand back into his pocket. “Thanks,” he said softly.

Stiles managed a smile and turned to the stack of cups, rearranging them so their handles faced the same way.  From the corner of his eye, he watched Scott hesitate, looking at him – then down at his Star Wars shirt – before he wandered off to find a table.  He picked one of the small ones, near the tree and in front of the window.  The twinkling lights of the tree cast colorful spots on the window that seemed to dance with the snow and play across Scott’s face as he took off his hat, running his fingers through his hair. 

Stiles moved closer to Erica as she fixed Scott’s drink. “There’s something wrong with me,” he hissed.

Erica didn’t even look up, but she arched an eyebrow. “You know that’s not true, and you know exactly what’s happening.”

Stiles wrinkled his nose and didn’t answer.  He watched her pop a candy cane onto the edge of the mug and, after a second, grabbed one of the peppermint kiss cookies, placing it on the little plate Erica set the mug on.  Erica didn’t even try to hide her smirk as she carried the drink over to Scott’s table.

Stiles grabbed a cloth, furiously scrubbing at some whipped cream Erica had spilled.  There was something niggling at him, a thread at the back of his mind that demanded to be tugged, but he refused to acknowledge it.  He kept himself busy.  When his hands were distracted, usually so was his mind. 

Still, he kept glancing up at Scott.  He never caught Scott looking back at him, but he kept getting this feeling, when he was wiping the counter or fiddling with one of the display cases, that Scott’s gaze was on him.  It made his belly feel all tingly.  Whenever he looked, though, Scott was either gazing out of the window at the snow while he sipped his drink, or staring down at his phone, brow furrowed slightly in concentration.

An hour dragged by before Scott approached the counter again, placing the empty mug and plate on the counter.

“Thanks,” he said.

He’d put his winter gear back on, so Stiles offered a smile and replied, “Thanks, have a nice day.”

Scott paused, fingertips tapping slightly on the counter. “Hey, so, that new Star Wars movie is out.”

“You like Star Wars?” Stiles asked, looking up.

“Yeah, sure. I’m planning to go see the new one, it’s the one with B8 and -.”

Stiles smiled before he could help it. “BB-8.”

Scott’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times. “Right, yeah,” he managed finally.  “That one.”

The bell chimed, a group of women rushing in, shaking snow off their coats and boots and shivering from the cold.  Stiles straightened, offering them a smile as they approached.

“You’re braver than me,” he said. “You need a sled to get around out there.”

One of them laughed, peeling off her gloves, and Stiles got to work making their drinks.  By the time they’d found a table to sit and warm up at, Scott had left.

***

Scott kept coming back.

Not every day, but at least twice a week.  The times Stiles wasn’t working, Erica made sure to let him know that Scott had been in the second he walked in for his next shift.  He always ordered a hot chocolate, usually peppermint though he tried their other options, and sat by the window if he could, or on one of the stools by the counter if the shop was too busy.

He watched Stiles a lot.  He didn’t try to hide it anymore, just sipping his drink and watching Stiles work.  Stiles didn’t try to hide the fact that he watched Scott a lot, too, when he could.  Every time he glanced over, Scott offered a smile that Stiles found himself unable to resist returning.

In the lulls between customers, he usually ended up talking with Scott.  He was funny, and cute, and being the focus of Scott’s attention, the way he leaned in just slightly and listened like Stiles was the only person in the world worth spending time with, it made Stiles’ heart pound.  They flirted, a lot.  Stiles was usually a pretty flirty person anyway, but with Scott it was easy as breathing.  Every time he made Scott laugh, or their fingers bumped together, or he saw that soft warmth in Scott’s eyes, the fluttery feeling in Stiles’ belly grew and grew.

It was a week before Valentine’s Day that Scott came in just before closing, a look of determination on his face.  Stiles was balanced on a chair, hanging up a big poster for their special Valentine’s speed dating night.  It would be the busiest one yet, with people hopeful to find their soulmate on Valentine’s Day. 

When Scott saw him, he drew in a deep breath and walked towards him, determination set in his shoulders and the line of his mouth.  Stiles paused, hands still raised, looking at him in surprise.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?”

“I think you’re my soulmate.”

Stiles blinked, slowly dropping his hands.  The poster flopped down to the floor at Scott’s feet.  A whole minute dragged by as Stiles just stared at Scott, letting his words sink in, and the longer Stiles stayed silent, the more Scott fidgeted, his look of determination fading to self consciousness.

“So, uh…what do you think…about that?”

“I don’t believe in soulmates,” Stiles blurted.

Scott’s face fell.  He took a step back, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Right. Yeah. Sorry. I’ll just…”

Stiles scrambled off the chair, stumbling slightly as it skidded out from underneath him.  He reached out, fingertips catching Scott’s sleeve before he could turn away.

“But I believe in you.”

The smile that lit up Scott’s face made Stiles’ heart rocket.  He let go of his sleeve, smiling, but Scott turned his hand to link his fingers with Stiles’ before he could withdraw his hand completely.

“Yeah?”

Stiles knew he probably had the goofiest grin on his face, but he didn’t care, because the one on Scott’s was dazzling. “Yeah.”

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

More GG questions for you because I love your answers! What are your 10 favorite and least favorite episodes? How would you rank the seasons? What would you have liked to see on GG that we never got? What's a storyline you'd have erased if you could? Who are your GG otps (aside from our Rogan!), brotps and notps?

My ten favorite episodes in no particular order:

Partings - My all time favorite. The Rogan is wonderful. The Lorelai/Luke break up is heartbreaking but well done and necessary. I will always love Lorelai and Chris having each other’s backs and being friends.

Forgiveness and Stuff - The first time we see all the Gilmores really come together as a family. Also the first time we see how much Lorelai relies on Luke, and how far out of his comfort zone Luke will go for her.

Rory’s Birthday Parties - Emily and Lorelai are in top ‘we love each other dearly but speak completely different languages’ form. Rory and Richard continue getting to know each other and it is the cutest ever. Rory has a backbone, but is still sweet and wonderful and wants everyone to be happy.

Dear Emily and Richard - The flashbacks are amazing. The parallels are amazing. I love love love Lorelai’s ‘my kid needs me and that trumps everything’ attitude’.

There’s the Rub - Emily and Lorelai. Paris and Jess. The care package thing is way too cute.

Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin’ the Twist - Rory and Paris are friend soulmates and nothing will ever convince me differently.

You Jump, I Jump, Jack - 😍

Pulp Friction - Lorelai and Luke are back together. I love Emily but the yelling was totally justified and satisfying. Jealous Logan is adorably stupid. Rory stands her ground.

Hay Bale Maze - Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

My ten least favorite episodes in no particular order:

Say Something - The break up was stupid. Lorelai didn’t even do anything wrong, and what the hell happened to ‘all in’?

Unto the Breach - Logan’s entire time on the show has been spent telling Rory that she should do whatever she wants. Then he turns around and tells her it’s all or nothing? That’s not Logan. Rory was just having a panic attack about not knowing where her life was going, but she turns Logan down because she doesn’t want to be tied down? They never even discuss the possibility of a long engagement?

Merry Fistcuffs - Logan can be jealous. Logan can be kind of an asshole. But there is no possible way that Logan would ever be so jealous of Marti that he would be that much of an asshole. Marti never had anything resembling a shot. Logan is aware of this. The whole thing was stupid.

New and Improved Lorelai - Who are these people?

Fight Face - Seriously, who the hell are these people?

Face Off - Strangely, Rory seems to have lost possession of her spine.

That Damn Donna Reed - The Rory and Dean part is just too cringey.

Chicken or Beef - Dean. 

That’ll Do, Pig - Rory is one of the shows titular characters, and yet she’s reduced to an oblivious object to be fought over by two boys. This is not the Jess and Dean show.

Take the Devilled Eggs - Nothing really against it, but I needed to pick ten.

Seasons from best to worst in my opinion:

Season 5 - Rogan, Java Junkies, Rory and Lorelai staying close even as Rory stops requiring her mother’s approval for every decision she makes.

Season 2 - Every single episode is good. Rory and Jess are super cute. Lorelei is flawed but fantastic, just the way I like her. No one does anything inexplicable or completely out of character for the sake of drama.

Season 3 - The Rory/Jess/Dean drama is a little much, but they’re teenagers so it kind of has to be. Lorelei is the best mom ever. Lane finally gets a real band and a real boyfriend. Jess and Rory are super cute. Also super unhealthy. I am conflicted. Then there is Keg! Max!, and I am not conflicted anymore.

Season 7 - Rory and Logan are adorably domestic. Lorelei is back to being her wonderful self. Lorelai and Chris are fun to watch even though they’re obviously doomed. But, they are obviously doomed.

Season 1 - A fantastic start, but it doesn’t quite come together into the Gilmore Girls we know and adore until season 2.

Season 6 - WTF? Where did Lorelai go, and who is this horrible bitch who has taken over her body?

Season 4 - Some good moments but most of it feels like filler.

Something I would’ve like to see:

I would’ve liked to have seen Rory and Lorelai work through some of their issues. Rory never really stopped believing that she was supposed to be perfect to make up for the circumstances of her birth, and Lorelai got so used to it that she started expecting it and flipping out when Rory acted like her own person instead of an extension of her, which just reinforced Rory’s insecurities.

A storyline I would have erased: 

The only story line I’d completely erase would be the Rory/Dean in seasons 4 and 5. Every single bit of it was bullshit.

OTPs:

Lane/Zack

Lorelai/Luke

Sookie/Jackson

Emily/Richard

BROTPs

Rory/Paris

Rory/Lane

Lorelai/Christopher

Lorelai/Sookie

Zack/Mrs. Kim

Paris/Jess (A little, teeny tiny part of me even kind of ships it. Don’t judge me.)

NOTPs

Rory/Dean

The older I get the more Rory/Jess becomes this, even though they were cute and it makes me sad.

Lorelai/Digger Styles

[demondeanismybaby]

Why Does It Have To Be Me?

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam, Mary, Jess, sort of past Sam x Reader 

Word Count: 3267

Warnings: Angst, fluff, alternate reality, more angst, technically major character death, jinn universe

Summary: Dean is living his all time fantasy, the thing is what would he sacrifice to keep it?

A/N: So I was watching What is and What Should Never be and it inspired me to write something sort of heartbreaking because I honestly feel like Dean would have given up everything if there had been a few minor adjustments in his fantasy. 

He was feeling that itch deep in his bones again, the type of feeling that made sitting trapped in a dingy hotel with his brother seem impossible, so even though he knew that walking into the rundown warehouse alone was risky, he had to do it anyway. It was the typical kind of place, dripping water, broken and rusted pipes protruding from the ceiling, almost certainly the kind of dwelling a monster would hole up in. 

A bang from the hallway nearest to him had him walking carefully, flashlight held in front of him, and scanning the area for the jinn they were hunting. It seemed clear this was its lair, that was the ominous part because he knew he had heard something. When he heard a noise in his line of work, it always meant some monster was lurking nearby.

“What the,” he didn’t even have time to finish his sentence as some Mike Tyson looking thing with a faceful of tattoos was grabbing him around the throat and thrusting him against the nearest wall.

The thing didn’t talk, not that they often did, instead he reached a hand up towards Dean’s face. He had nowhere to go, the creature was so much stronger than him that it could have done almost anything and Dean would have to just take it. 

He felt his eyes roll up into his head as the monster that grabbed him started to fade out to black. Then there was nothing. 

A crack of thunder had him flinging himself upright in bed, the storm had been manufactured by the television that was playing in the background, it was like he was being overcome with vertigo. The landscape around him was so dramatically altered he wasn’t sure what was happening. His mind raced and he fought to catch his breath. 

When he turned his head, realizing fully he was suddenly lying in an unfamiliar bedroom, he saw the form of a scantily clad figure beside him. Then he saw the outline of her face. It was none other than Y/N, and why she was wearing nothing besides panties and a tank top while in bed with him was so mind boggling he did the only thing he could think of. 

Jumping out of bed he rummaged through the nightstand until his hands closed around a familiar object, his trusty cell, he dialed the only number that he could think of as he tried desperately to figure out how he and his brothers girlfriend had managed to show up in the same place, a place that he had never even seen before. 

“Sam,” Dean did his best to control the urge to scream into the phone, “I don’t know why but I just woke up next to your freaking girlfriend,” he was almost panting with fear as he spoke partly concerned with how he got here and partly worried about what his brother was going to say when he found out his girlfriend had run off and was sleeping half-naked with Dean. 

“Dean? What are you talking about, Jess is here, asleep just like every night,” Sam’s tone was light and almost filled with laughter.

“Jess, what are you talking about?” Dean’s mind was racing he couldn’t understand why Sam would ever make a joke like that about the only person he had ever really loved besides Y/N, “dude, the point is I was hunting the jinn and it grabbed me and suddenly I wake up in some weird place with your girlfriend in bed with me half-naked.” 

“Ok, Dean, I think you should go back to bed, clearly you had a little too much to drink,” and after a slight sigh, “I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”

Dean didn’t even have time to continue pleading his case as the phone died with a click. He did the only thing he could think of next, he got out of bed and started roaming through the strange house looking for any clues of what exactly had happened after meeting the monster. As he scanned the hallway he noticed there were pictures hung all around, mainly it was of him and Y/N, both of them crammed together in the shot with arms tangled together and giant grins. His heart sank a little further. He could say with absolute certainty something was wrong because in all the time he had known Y/N she had never looked so happy. 

Making his way out to the living room he was glad for the slight illumination coming from a light in the kitchen, he navigated through the unfamiliar terrain and started to flip through the pile of mail on the counter, the first letter was postmarked to Lawerence, Kansas, which was totally impossible, the second was even more concerning, it was addressed to Mrs. Y/F/N Winchester. If she was here with Dean could that really mean that the two of them were married? 

“Sweetheart,” a voice called out from behind him.

A part of him didn’t want to turn around but there was something in the soft dulcet tone that had him spinning to face her, “Hey,” he hesitated before testing out his theory, “honey.” 

She padded across the room and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, leaning her head against his chest she tilted her head back and looked up at him, the look in her eyes was nothing more or less than love. 

“What’s wrong, couldn’t sleep?” She asked and he couldn’t help but notice at this distance the way that her eyes were sleepy and her lashes fell heavily against her cheeks every time she blinked. It was like being in a dream. 

“Yeah, sorry I woke you, promise I am coming back to bed,” even though he didn’t know how long he had slept for before waking up in this new reality he wanted nothing more than to lay in bed beside her. 

“Good,” she kissed the edge of his jaw and padded back down towards the room he had just wandered out of. 

Taking another quick look around as he followed her footsteps he saw what proved in his mind that this had to all be some sort of dream. Hanging right beside the bedroom door was a photo, it was something that he had only seen in his most private fantasies. Him and Y/N, her in a wedding dress him in a tux, Sam and Jessica standing beside him and none other than Mary Winchester leaning her head on his shoulder. 

He knew that when he woke up this would all disappear but he was desperate to have one night in bed beside his temporary wife. Crawling under the sheets beside her he couldn’t help but pull her as close to his chest as possible. He wanted to feel the warmth of her skin against his and listen to her slow breathing until he fell asleep and lost this forever. 

The next morning as he cracked open his eyes he fully expected to be transported back to the rundown putrid warehouse but instead, the girl of his dreams, literally, was sleeping softly next to him her hair fanned out around her head and the T.V. still playing low in the background. A thought gripped him as he stared at her feeling the happiness bloom inside of him, and he had to know, he shook her as carefully as possible worried that too much pressure against her skin could somehow shatter this whole reality. 

“Baby,” he said quietly, already accepting that this was his new life and loving it, “baby wake up I have to ask you something.”

“What’s wrong,” she said as she slowly rolled over and opened her eyes a look of concern creeping over her face. 

“Nothing, nothing's wrong, it’s about Mary,” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“You mean your mom?” She asked. 

“Yeah, um...how is she these days?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer and be faced with losing her all over again. 

“Fine,” she said, “we’re going to see her today it’s her birthday remember?” Are you sure everything is alright?” 

He let himself take a deep breath and let out all the stress he was carrying, apparently, this monster was the kind that granted wishes and that was more than alright by him. 

Allowing himself to go with the flow was easier than he expected. He got out of bed and explored his new home, taking in the various aspects that help solidify just how amazing it was that he had ended up here. The big flat screen television in the entertainment center in the living room, the ground beef and cheese in the fridge to make burgers for dinner, and the lawnmower out in the garage attached to the modest sized home. 

He fiddled around with the coffee maker until he was able to pour out two piping hot cups of java and made sure to make it up exactly how she usually took it back in the other version of reality, and he brought it to Y/N carefully where she was still lounging around in bed. Her hands stretch out to grab him and pull him back into bed, not caring that he was trying to balance cups full of burning hot liquid, and he did his bed to make sure they didn’t spill. At the gesture, he couldn’t help the way his heart soared as she giggled as her hands wrapped around the mug taking mercy on him. 

“What’s gotten into you?” She asked as she took a sip of her drink. 

“Nothing, just in a good mood is all,” he said as he sat down in bed beside her and took a sip of his own drink. 

Later in the day, they started to get ready, mostly though they had spent the time lounging around together. The first time she had leaned in to kiss him he had almost passed out from feeling so overwhelmed with joy. When his lips had brushed against hers, it was like all the years of Dean having watched her doing the same thing with his brother, wishing so much it could have been him, was being washed clean. His mom was alive here. Sam wasn’t miserable at being dragged into a life filled with monsters, he was a lawyer and Jess was still alive. It was like everything was too good to be true but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

As Y/N walked into the living room later that evening, she did a little turn in the knee length black dress she was wearing, the top was low enough it perfectly displayed her cleavage but still left plenty to the imagination, her slight smile though playing at the edges of her face was what made her totally stunning. 

“You ready to go?” She asked as she leaned in for a quick kiss.

“You look beautiful,” he said, as he just stared into her eyes, he could have stayed right in this moment forever. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she giggled as she led him out the door. 

The restaurant they headed into was way nicer than any he had ever been to, cloth tablecloths lined every table and it was the kind of place that you were supposed to put the fabric napkin in your lap before eating anything. When his mom walked in he thought that maybe he had forgotten how to breathe, she was just as beautiful as he had remembered her being. He scooped her up in a tight hug and completely ignored her confusion at the gesture. When Sam and Jess showed up he did the same still at a total loss of how the jinn could even be considered a monster when it was able to create something so amazing. 

“So we have a little surprise for your birthday,” Jess said as she held out her hand to the table, Dean saw the tiny twinkle of the diamond on her finger and clapped his brother on the back.

“Congratulations, you two, this is just great,” he couldn’t help but feel ecstatic that here everyone was living the life that they should have had. 

Dinner was smooth except for the brief discourse when his dad was brought up. Learning that he had died of a stroke and not traded his soul for Dean’s was still enough not to sour his mood. Even just having a normal death seemed like some sort of miracle that he couldn’t fully believe. When Sam and Jess suggested they all go back to their mom’s to celebrate Dean couldn’t believe his luck. 

There was only one slight problem, a girl was standing in his way, she was wearing a white dress and had long brown hair, but it was her lack of shoes that had her seeming out of place in the hoity-toity joint. It was almost as if the only person that could see her was Dean, and a part of him knew right then that something was horribly wrong, he rushed over to her but by the time he had made it to the place she had been standing his fingers close around nothing more than air. 

“You ready to go?” Y/N asked as she walked up beside him. 

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of her head, he knew that something was off. 

Driving back home he did his best to join in with the light conversation between his brother, Jess, Mary, and Y/N but his mind kept slipping back to the girl in the restaurant. It was the first hint of anything supernatural here and it had him worried. He tried to shove it out of his mind as he made his way into the home of his childhood, one never touched by a murderous fire, and joined into the jovial spirit. After a few beers and a brief exchange of wedding plans, everyone drifted off to bed. Dean was left alone sitting on the couch and pondering just what could possibly be wrong with this perfect universe. He knew a lot of things about monsters and he also knew that there was always a catch. The girl had to be a clue. Flipping through the channels on the television he had been half-ignoring it came to him.

“Today marks the anniversary of United Britannia Flight 424,” the news forecaster spoke as images of a candlelight vigil played on the screen. 

His body pushed forward, “No, I stopped that crash.” 

It didn’t take him long with Google at his disposal to look up some of the other cases he worked and then he realized it. In this world he and Sam weren’t hunters so all the people he had saved back in his world, here they didn’t make it. Case after case body after body he saw just how much his life impacted those of strangers. A slight flash of white at the edge of his vision had him standing. He followed the blur into the kitchen and was faced with none other than the same girl from the restaurant. This time she no longer looked normal, her hair was ragged and beside her were two burned out looking corpses suspended from the ceiling fan that was slowing turning above him. The next moment though they had vanished. His stomach churned from a combination of the shock of his discovery, cheap beer, and fancy food. It was horrible and he needed a way to clear his head. 

He drove without thinking to the only place he knew for certain he would find some solace. As the headstones started to get close enough to come into view he kept driving following the little winding gravel roads one by one until the spot he knew he would recognize. It was the exact same as it had been in his world expect as he walked up to the gray granite slab the name carved there wasn’t Mary Winchester it was John’s. 

He spoke to the gravestone, the marker of the man who he knew would have sent him back to the other world kicking and screaming, he started to mimic the way his father would have spoken to him, what his dad would have said about his own happiness, “Your happiness for all those people’s lives no contest.”

He was met with silence. 

“Why, why do I have to be some kind of hero, why do we have to sacrifice everything?” He said to no one in particular as a tear fell down the side of his face. 

He was crying for more than himself, he was crying for Y/N who was happy here, happy with him. Married and in love, waiting for nothing more than him to come back home and fall asleep next to him. Both of them working real jobs, living in an actual house and his brother happy with Jess. It wasn’t fair and he knew exactly what he had to do. 

He drove back to his mom’s house, the place where in this world he grew up with family Christmases and birthday’s where Sam had gotten to walk out of in one piece to go to college and where his mother go to lay her head every night on her pillow and he went to the spare bedroom Y/N had slunk off to earlier to sleep off the two glasses of wine she had at dinner, she was resting peacefully, still in her party dress from earlier. He climbed into bed beside her. 

It was three in the morning when he heard a faint rustling that had him opening his eyes. It was the girl he kept seeing only this time it was her suspended by her wrists, beside her was a blood bag that was linked to an IV in her arm, her body was pale and bruised and her eyes were drooping but open. That’s when what her presence there meant finally hit him. 

The wheels in his head churned. He wasn’t seeing a ghost of a girl that was haunting him. He was seeing the girl that in the other world he had been sent to the warehouse to save. He was probably there with her right now, in reality, this was just a dream, a vision built to slowly suck the life out of him. He was at a crossroad. 

Right at that moment, he turned as he felt the body in bed with him stirring beside him. 

“So,” Y/N said, “you figured it out.” 

“Yeah,” he said as he turned back to the vision of the girl from the warehouse still hanging there. 

“It’s alright Dean, here it will feel like so much longer, and we get to be together, living a normal life,” she leaned her head on his shoulder. 

He could feel her weight and warmth and right then it was impossible to believe that this could be anything less than real, and even if it wasn’t, he honestly thought that this life even if it was only temporary it was still better than anything he had back in the other world. 

“Your right, it’s ok, the jinn can have me, I’m staying,” he said as he turned away from the dying girl to look at Y/N.

He pressed his lips against hers, the were soft and plump, he could faintly taste cherries as he kissed her from the lip balm she had worn earlier. It didn’t matter if he was in a fantasy. If he only got to do this one more time, losing his life would be worth it.