#Jaguar tooth

[palaeosinensis]

Testing out some small block print square ideas. I’ve got some rubber scraps to either use up or make stamps with.

[yagurlhere]

WARNING:SPOILER-ISH, MENTIONS OF DEATH

I check on Objectified due to Crave being released today and with knowing what seems to be the new update pattern, went over to check, and there really is a new Mushroom and Dynamite episode coming this month! And I took like, I think, one look, and thought:

"Yup, they're dead."

Despite only reading up to the first two episodes and planning on reading the third episode (the first Mushroom and Dynamite episode 😁) probably the day before the first day of Thanksgiving Break, from what I've looked at as I got more and more interested, Razor and Gum, Brandy, Minty, and Sugar Cube, and MUSHROOM AND DYNAMITE have become the groups I've come to be the most interested in, and been the most curious and excited whenever new episodes around them come out, and lemme say, something is telling me and I am convinced ONE OF THEM IS GOING TO DIE. (And by "one of them" I mean the fluffy one...you know who I'm talking about)

And "Take a bite." already got me thinking.

Also, I LOVE how Mushroom's droplets have frozen due to the cold weather, AND how they came out!

[advanceddoodling]

Feliforms, mostly cats.

[sheltiechicago]

Saber-tooth tiger

Made Jaguar, Saber-Tooth Tiger And Lion Sculpture With Hammered Steel

Artist Selçuk Yılmaz

Jaguar

Lion

[ivoris-just-smile-and-laugh]

Altar of Eden

By James Rollins

The beast know as Shaitan in the Koran-he who was born of God's fire and cursed for not bowing down to Adam.

Makeen knew the truth.

At long last, the devil had come to Baghdad.

[almostfoxglove]

ELEVEN STITCHES

as voted for by you for ⭐ my milestone celebration ⭐

RATING: Explicit (18+) | PAIRING: Joel Miller x Reader WORD COUNT: 3k CW: Graphic descriptions of canon-typical injury, blood, gore, and mild body horror. use of restraints (our man's strapped down) this is just fluff with blood.

SUMMARY: After Joel comes back from patrol injured, he wakes up restrained to a bed in Jackson's clinic where you've been tasked with patching him up.

read on ao3 | almostfoxglove masterlist

You’ve never seen him this close. Nor this peaceful: asleep, his lips a breath apart, dark lashes scalloped over his cheeks. Scarred and battered, yes. Tried, yes. Such blue hangs beneath his eyes. But if you squint—blocking out the leather straps and silver handcuffs restraining him to the metal clinic bed—the notorious Joel Miller looks almost sweet. As you pierce him for the first time with the bite of your needle, sewing closed the end of his jagged wound, you almost can’t imagine this guy hurting a fly. He looks so soft. 

Then you pull the stitch taut, the chasm of split skin narrowing, a fraction of the slick, red muscle below disappearing. One second out and the next second gasping, Joel Miller shocks to his senses like you’ve electrocuted him, his whole body thrashing against his restraints. You pull your hands back just in time to avoid stabbing him with the needle, catch his brown eyes black with terror—

No, scratch that. With rage. 

“Woooah, alright there,” you coo, needle idle in your hand despite the steady drip drip drip of his blood on the floor. “Easy tiger, it’s okay, we gotcha.”

But he’s all animal, all fight. Won’t stop bucking against the leather straps leashed over his shoulders and ribs—his hands ball to fists below their cuffs, metal pinching into joints. It takes him a minute to even register you, too busy writhing, his boots kicking at the end of the bed. Makes a horrible sound. You have to say his name twice to get Joel to turn his head, then it’s over for you. You’re dead. 

Or you would be if you hadn’t agreed to let Tommy strap his brother down when they’d dragged his body in. Saying, it’s for the best, doc. Trust me. Just seconds ago the man looked harmless, face slack and unmarred by the creases that now canyon his brow, and yet there’s no denying in this moment that Joel Miller could pull every kind of pain from you. Drain every ounce of your blood. 

Smiling calmly in the face of his fit feels not unlike watching a jaguar growl in a zoo behind the safety of a fence: in awe of a predator’s bloodlust and naively unafraid.

“You hit your head on patrol,” you say, and your voice is a lake untouched by weather. The picture of professionalism. “You know where you are?”

He’s gonna break a tooth grinding his teeth like that, but you don’t say. You just watch him blink and scan the room again, his arms taut in their shackles. The injured one is bared for you to work on, unveiling the ropes of muscle and sinew that strangle each other as he struggles. “Jackson,” Joel grits, and fixes you with that ire again as he blinks, lucidity slowly creeping into his eyes. He’d kill you, you think, if he only had a free hand. A free pinky finger. At least until this panic wears off.

“Atta boy,” you smile. “You know your name?”

“Where’s Ellie?” 

You click your tongue. “Don’t think that’s it.”

His glare spears through the center of your skull—eyes that know no color but black, two tunnels of wrath-soaked violence. Stubborn, livid, in pain. He rocks his jaw left to right before answering with a stiff, “Joel.”

“Atta boy,” you grin, then return one hand to his arm above the dip in his inner elbow, hopeful Joel might let you resume your work, but he seizes the moment your glove grazes his skin. You don’t remove it. You need to steady him, close him up. 

You let out a patient breath. “You remember what happened?”

Something snaps then. His struggling returns with a vengeance, every muscle in his broad body fighting and fighting and fighting to get up. “Where’s—” he sneers, sharper now, “Ellie?”

Again the legs of the clinic bed squeal on the tiled floor, shearing as nails on a chalkboard—your ears tweak. 

“Hey—hey, it’s okay. She’s okay,” you hush him, lifting your hand again to show him your palms, your needle pinched between two fingers and attached to the arm he’s yet to notice is bleeding. “She’s alright, didn’t even need a stitch. We checked her for a concussion and she’s clear. You, on the other hand—”

“Take me to her, right now,” Joel growls, more animal than man.

You sigh, draw up restraint from its deep, deep well. “Can’t do that yet, honey. Gotta finish patching you up first, hm? That sound alright?”

Joel’s nostrils flare, upper lip peeling from his teeth as he snarls.

“Take me to Ellie. Right. Fuckin’. Now.”

“And here I was thinking Tommy was fucking with me when he suggested the restraints,” you tease, then soothe the palm of your hand over his bare shoulder. To your dismay Joel only thrashes again, trying to get away, so you set down the needle on the bed beside him and nudge your chair back to give him some air. “Not here to hurt you. But you got cut pretty bad, and I think once this adrenaline wears off you’re gonna be glad you let me finish this before releasing you on the world. But, here. One second—”

You hold up one finger and roll your chair back, kicking yourself over to the clinic room door. With the toe of your shoe, you shove it open a crack, letting in blue fluorescence from the hall. “Ellie?” you call into the corridor.

After a moment of quiet a far-off voice shouts in reply, “What?”

“Say hi to Joel for me, will you honey? Afraid he might Hulk out over here before I get him closed up.” A beat of silence hangs the air in which you peek at Joel with a smirk before Ellie yells out from a distant room,

“I’M FINE JOEL.”

“Thanks, honey,” you call back. When you’ve kicked yourself back to his bedside, Joel has settled to quiet seething. “Better?”

A grunt’s about as much as you could hope for. Smiling, you pluck up your needle again. “Alright. Think we’ve got ten stitches to go. Tell me what you remember.”

“I’m tied down,” Joel says instead, letting his eyes sink closed. Exhausted, you suspect. In no small amount of pain. But he doesn’t jump this time when your hands return to his arm, nor when the needle bites his broken skin. Little wins. 

Like magic, you’re a seamstress again. Once upon a time blood turned your stomach—even cheesy horror movies could trigger a storm of nausea—and any needle you took up was destined only to patch a quilt or save someone’s favorite shirt, never their flesh. Times change. Now you can stare down every kind of gore with an iron stomach and eerie calm. Any skin, any body, becomes a project to you when you’re working. Just a little cloth in need of mending.

“Very observant,” you tease with a small chuckle, daring to glance at Joel’s eyes as you pull the next stitch tight. A muscle ticks in his jaw but he doesn’t move. “Humor me a minute longer, okay?”

“There was,” he starts to say, “half a dozen of ‘em, maybe. We were—mmph—a mile out, had this lookout spot on a roof we usually check.”

“Mhm,” you hum, attention fixed on the disappearance of pink. 

“Don’t know how they got up there. Thought we had ‘em all but one was hidin’. Knocked me down the—think it knocked me down the fire escape.”

You nod along. “Eight more,” you interject in his next pause. “You remember how you got this?”

As his head turns, Joel’s curls scratch the stiff pillowcase and he looks down at his arm for the first time as if he too is looking at nothing more than an old quilt. Something that’s not quite his, not quite a body. “Was glass on the fire escape,” he mumbles. “Broken window I guess.”

Then he drags his eyes to you, bringing a singeing of a different kind. Maybe your jaw feathers, maybe it doesn’t. But something in your chest undeniably flares. “Well,” you grin. “Think we can rule out memory loss.”

Joel hmphs.

“Got six more.” 

You begin the next stitch. More red tissue seams, breathing pride into your bones. Can’t fix much these days, not on any meaningful scale, but you can do this—close one wound. Make one small thing right for the person on your table.

“Gonna untie me?” you hear Joel say.

With a small grin you glance up at him through your lashes. “Gonna lie still?”

His jaw rocks, considering this, maybe swallowing some snarky answer—but in the end he nods. Something hard deflates in his chest, that last pillar of hostility, so you too resign. Set down the needle again; it’ll need to be cleaned. When you stand over the clinic bed the weight of him watching you grows heavier and heavier until flicking open the buckles that cross his chest becomes an arduous task, your hands slow like they’re pushing through water. The metal clink of each loosening clasp is deafening. Then the thud of the leather belts slinking away, dropping to the floor. You pluck the key for the cuffs from your silver tray, toggle open each round jaw, and Joel lifts the arm that isn’t bleeding just enough to roll his wrist out, opens and closes his fist.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“Sure thing.”

Gloves snap off and a new pair snaps on. You dunk the needle into a small bowl of vodka—it’s not perfect, but you make do, grateful for whatever supplies find their way to you—and at your side Joel remains stationary like he promised. A man of his word.

“We met before?” he asks, as you return to your stool. A voice like that oughta be bottled—coarse and deep and dragged through rubble. It could do terrible things to you, now that you’re listening. Now that you’re aware of being observed—feeling the tables have turned, that you’re the one being observed.

You don’t look at him. You stitch the quilt, bid adieu to thinning red tissue. “I haven’t worked on you before today,” you say evenly.

Joel goes quiet again.

“Four more,” you go on, pulling the thread. 

“Don’t know your name,” Joel says.

“Like I said, honey,” you reply. “First time patient.”

Below your hands Joel’s arm twitches at honey, or else it looks like it does, but he keeps it where it lays. “Meant outside of here,” he says.

A grin tucks into your cheek as you shake your head. “Seen you around,” you admit, eyes fixed on his closing wound. “But no. Not officially.”

You swear you feel him squint even though you can’t see his face, not hunched over like this, focused. “Officially,” Joel echoes, as if he’s trying out the word. Rolling it on his tongue, getting a taste. It’s a question without the punctuation—he wants you to elaborate.

“Three left,” you tell him, heart quickening.

Another hmph. A wordless press, another way around asking while still asking. Stupid, you flick your eyes to his face for only a moment, find him already staring at you, his eyebrows folded down so thoughtfully.

“Holding up alright?” you say. 

“What’s officially mean,” Joel asks.

Two stitches, that’s all. Two little knots and you can cut the thread of this conversation and send him on his way. Catch your breath before it shortens when he’s close enough to hear. You shrug. “Means we haven’t introduced ourselves. Haven’t really spoken before.”

He’s frowning in the corner of your eye. “But we’ve met,” he extrapolates.

“Last one,” you say.

“Dodgin’ my question.”

A traitor, your mouth slips up and grins—brief but telling, that shy tense of your cheek. “Barely,” you reply, pinching the needle through his arm once more. You secure the final knot with a small tug and reach behind you for the scissors, then snip. Project done. Quilt mended.

“Alright, just need to clean and wrap it and you’ll be a free man,” you tell him, rolling yourself back on the stool to browse your tray of supplies. Your fingers dance briefly over the gauze and medical tape as you consider your instruments, all the final touches necessary to make things tidy and neat. 

Behind you, the clinic bed squeaks as Joel shifts but you don’t hear his boots touch the floor.

When you roll back to his bedside, he’s sitting up, one leg hinged on the papery bedsheet and the other hooked over the edge at the knee, his boot swaying and laces hanging loose like two long streamers. Impatience bleeds across his face, and though it’s not quite anger in his eyes you nonetheless feel something in your body straighten. Sitting like this, Joel looms over you and your stool. No longer shackled, filthy and blood stained. Dangerous. 

This isn’t fear, though—it’s something worse. 

You hold out one gloved palm, closing your fingers twice in a silent give it here and Joel obeys, setting his forearm in your hand. Warm and heavy and tense—muscle ticking as you drag the alcohol-soaked pad across his stitches.

Your silence broods in the stale clinic air. A vapor you can feel on your skin.

“I was a dick, then,” Joel presses, breaking the uneasy quiet. He’s looking down at his arm as you wind stripe after stripe of stale gauze around the trunk of his injury as if entranced. As if shy. As if ashamed.

“Wasn’t your fault,” you surrender.

“Doubt that.” A dry chuckle follows, to your surprise. Such a warming sound.

Perhaps unprofessional, you laugh softly too and Joel’s head lifts at the sound. “You, uh—” you begin to say, pausing to find the right word. When you’ve got him wrapped well enough, you clip the gauze from the roll. “ We ran into each other in the mess hall, sorta bowled me over. Don’t think either of us was looking where we were going.”

You leave out the bit where he’d spat out watch it as he went, not slowing down for a second. Even then you didn’t blame him—sure, you’d bristled. Frowned, even, as he glared back at you over his shoulder. But he’d been with Tommy, clearly in the middle of some argument, and the anger he swung at you was wrongly aimed. You didn’t care. Later you even found it kind of funny. You’d glimpsed him for years at a distance, heard whispers, and more than a few of your friends had expressed hopeless infatuations with the inscrutable eldest Miller. Reporting that you’d run straight into his solid chest by accident had all of you laughing.

Joel looks to be remembering. Or rather he appears to be failing to, scowl deepening as you tuck the bandage’s end. Without thinking, you bend over to reach for his boot and retie his lace. There. Safe, secure. Fixed. 

“Voila,” you say, then push yourself back from him with a smile. “You are good to go.”

But he doesn’t move. Joel just sits there with his wrapped arm—his bare arm—resting in his lap, twisting one way and then the other, fidgeting. Eyes ticking between bandage and boot, perhaps surprised. “Don’t remember that,” he says. Like this you can see the crown of his head, all those silver laced locks that lick up in all curling directions, tousled and untamed after patrol. His broad frame droops as he sinks into something that looks too much like shame. 

Shaking your head is pointless; he isn’t looking at you. “Was more than a year ago, honey,” you say. “And it really wasn’t anything. I laughed about it, promise.”

Before he can answer, the door swings wide and a grin appears in its frame, squared by that eerie blue light. Ellie’s hair is getting long, the front bits tied back from her face, and the side of her baggy shirt is stained with darkness—Joel’s blood, if you had to guess. Long dry. 

“Hi,” she says to you, eyes round like she’s surprised to find you’re still here, since Joel’s clearly handled. 

“How ya feeling?” you ask.

A short nod, mischief in her grin. “Pretty good.” Then she turns her attention to Joel. “I’m starving.”

So you stand to give them some privacy, collecting everything from your tray that needs cleaning up, bagging the small mountain of red-stained scraps that had mopped the worst of the blood. Another metal creak, then the thump of Joel’s boots as he stands. You hear Ellie say, “Thanks, doc,” and twist over your shoulder to give her a wave.

The door swings closed.

“I wanna see those stitches in a week,” you tell Joel, busy with your tools. “But take the wrap off in a day or two, keep it dry. If you have any trouble—”

“I know where to find you,” he finishes.

He’s almost grinning when you turn your head, eyes crinkled but lips flat, pulling the second sleeve of his flannel back on. Yes, soft was right. You can see it again, clear as ice or moonshine—the tender center tucked under battered shell. 

You watch Joel cross the room with long, loping strides. Your friends might’ve been onto something, unfortunately. You like the shape of him up close, the surety in the way he moves. With his good arm, Joel opens the door and steps into its frame and though you expect him to go without goodbye, he hesitates in the doorway. Props the entrance open with the toe of his boot. 

You lift an eyebrow at him and the muscle of his tongue wets his bottom lip in reply. Fine—your friends are definitely onto something. You feel likely to melt if he intends to keep looking at you like this, with something dark in his eyes. Animal of a different kind.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Joel says, voice drawled and low so as not to be overheard, and here’s another peek at that something softer: his lips curling once more, just enough to dimple one cheek. “Promise.”

“See you in a week,” you tell him, and Joel nods before going.

You expect seven days to pass before you see him again.

He comes back in four.

dividers by @saradika-graphics - tag list & some mutuals!

@ak-vintage @thethirstwivesclub @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @hediondoamor-blog @harriedandharassed 

@pedrospatch @jolapeno @la-eterna-enamorada29 @iknowisoundcrazy @guiltyasdave

@littlemisspascal @luxurychristmaspudding @iknowisoundcrazy @evolnoomym @saradika

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@pedgito @pastelpinkflowerlife @penvisions @rav3n-pascal22 @sixhours 

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[gekkxu]

TAGS

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[snapdragonessart]

Part 2 of my dragon dentition series 😊 ancients coming next! Teef info under the cut

Obelisks take inspiration from Chinese guardian lion statues, with their voluminous manes, big paws and fierce face. As such, their teeth would be similar to a lion’s dentition, with massive canines and carnassials. Although lions mainly eat land-based animals, they are also opportunistic and will sometimes eat fish and even insects. This doesn’t make up for any large part of their diet, however, and in this way they differ from Obelisks which only eat seafood and bugs. Jaguars make a better match for Obelisks in regards to food, as they eat aquatic prey more often than lions do, with one remote population of jaguars in Brazil primarily feeding on aquatic reptiles and fish.

Pearlcatchers were pretty tricky to pin down. Their body and face look almost horse or deer-shaped. Their diet is insects and plants. The only creature that came to mind for Pearlcatchers were qilins; one-horned legendary beasts from Chinese mythology. They’re fully scaled, with dragon-like faces and a body shaped like a horse, deer or goat. This seems to fit Pearlcatcher’s the most, but figuring out their dentition is another matter. There’s not really a 1-to-1 comparative animal I can base their teeth on, so I think they’d be a mish-mash of different tooth structures. They’d have larger canines, maybe like a musk deer, but the rest of their teeth would follow a more herbivorous design. They’d have large, flat molars and premolars for grinding up plants, probably similar to a horse or goat. 

Ridgebacks are basically land-sharks, no question. Their diet and face says it all. Although their snouts look more like goblin sharks to me, I don’t think they’d have those creepy mouths. Their dentition would be more like a great white; they’d have a mouth full of serrated, razor sharp teeth. Like actual sharks, Ridgeback’s would have a reserve of extra teeth in their jaws. 

Skydancer dragons present another tricky situation. They’re bird dragons, and eat plants and insects like Pearlcatchers. Although some official art shows them with teeth, I don’t think they’d actually have them. The closest structure to teeth that's found in birds is the tomia, which is the cutting edge of the upper and lower beak. Tomia is not made of enamel, but of cartilage. Seed-eating birds use this to slice through seed hulls, and birds of prey like falcons have a single sharp projection to rip meat and insects apart. Geese have tomia on their tongues, which pushes the food back towards their throat as they eat. Skydancers probably have a gizzard as well, as the tomia is not enough on its own to grind food down completely. It was hard to figure out what the Skydancer’s beak would be most similar to; out of all the more hook beaked birds, it reminded me most of vultures or eagles, although in diet they do not match them at all. Skydancer beaks are a mish-mash of different bird characteristics that I thought would fit them the most, rather than based on a single bird in particular.

Snappers are tortoise dragons, and like tortoises they’d have ridges in their beaks to help chew food. The official lore states that their beaks are “lined with molars that begin halfway down the jaw and continue all the way to the back”. Real-life tortoises don’t have teeth, so I’d imagine these structures would be like the tomia of birds. Their diet would be a mix of what tortoises and turtles eat, as Snappers eat both plants and seafood.

Spirals really remind me of ferrets, with their noodley bodies and energetic, chaotic nature. Like ferrets, they’d have sharp little canines, incisors and carnassials for shredding meat. Ferrets mainly eat meat, but will also eat bugs too, which matches up with the Spirals diet.

Tundra dragons are currently the only purely herbivorous dragon. The lore states that they have “impressive canine teeth used for combat. The majority of their jaw is set with flat, wide molars, perfect for grinding up scrub.” They’d be most similar to musk deers in dentition, with both male and female Tundras having the enlarged canines characteristic of male musk deer. The canines wouldn’t be as thin or long as a musk deer; they would be thick, robust, and fit more snugly inside the mouth. 

Last for the modern breeds, we have the Wildclaws. They’re raptor dragons, based on the Dromaeosaurids - raptor dinosaurs (velociraptors, utahraptors, etc). Like raptors, Wildclaws would have widely spaced and serrated teeth. They’d be fairly equal in shape, and would curve backwards.  Raptors were carnivorous, which fits with the Wildclaw’s meat diet.

[synapsid-taxonomy]

I've seen people say that saber-toothed cats couldn't roar because only Panthera felids can today. But if other large carnivorans like bears and pinnipeds could evolve the ability to roar independently, I don't see why saber-toothed cats would be any different. (Even if it would've sounded different from their modern cousins.)

"Roar" is so vaguely defined a term as to be almost nonscientific. What people mean when they say "saber-toothed cats couldn't roar" is referring to a specific vocalization in big cats - this deep, long-distance territorial call. It has a distinct pattern in each species, and between individuals:

These cats have two specializations that make them able to do this. First, they have an incompletely ossified hyoid - the epihyoid is replaced by a ligament. This allows for the larynx to retract deeper into the throat, making the vocalizations deeper and louder. Incidentally, this also means that they can't purr like small cats do. The second adaptation is that the vocal folds within the larynx are really thick, which lowers the pitch even further.

Left: the hyoids of a roaring tiger (A) and a non-roaring caracal (B); from Deutsch et al. 2023. Right: the larynxes of a roaring jaguar (A) and non-roaring snow leopard (B); from Hast 1989.

Snow leopards have an incompletely ossified hyoid (which means they can't purr), but they don't have the thickened vocal folds. They make the exact same long-distance territorial call as the other members of Panthera, but it instead sounds like this:

Clouded leopards have neither of these specializations, and they basically just meow like a small cat:

So what of saber-toothed cats? Hyoid elements are known from Smilodon. Their shape resembles those of small cats, implying that the larynx itself had a similar morphology (i.e., without the thick vocal folds of big cats). However, the hyoids are also significantly bigger than those of any living cats - including big cats. This implies that the larynx itself was proportionally bigger, and that would mean a deeper pitch to the vocalizations. No modern cat has a disproportionately increased larynx like that, but male Mongolian gazelles and hammer-headed bats have larynxes at least twice the size of the females', and consequently make deeper calls (unfortunately I couldn't find good recordings of either online). The fact that Smilodon is also just larger animal would mean its vocalizations would be deeper than those of small cats anyways. However, the lack of laryngeal specializations means that it may not have had the same deep formant frequencies as big cats; this means the sound would have been less resonant and maybe not able to travel as far.

So basically, Smilodon may have been able to "roar", but not the same roar as modern big cats. Rather, it'd be like the calls of small cats, but much deeper in pitch. A baritone meow, if you will.

[fallenclan]

Current anon list?

below the cut!

🐈‍⬛ Black cat anon

🐈 Cat anon 

🧶 Yarn anon

🐉 Dragon anon 

🐆 Jaguar anon

🌹 Rose anon

🦊 Fox anon

🦦 Otter anon

🍭 Lollipop anon

🍊 Orange anon

🐡 Pufferfish anon

🪼 Jellyfish anon

🪶 Feather anon

🍂 Leaf anon

🍃 Gardener anon

🥕 Carrot anon

🪚 Saw anon

🦈 Shark anon

🔪 Knife anon

🐁 Mouse anon

🐞 Ladybug anon

🐾 Pawprint anon

🦎 Lizard anon

🦟 Mosquito anon

🕊️ Pigeon anon 

☎️ Phone anon

🐄 Moo anon

✖️ X anon

🦷 Tooth anon

🍯 Honey anon

🌀 Cyclone anon

🦇 Bat anon

🦠 Microbe anon

🦑 Squid anon

⚓ Anchor anon

🌫️ Fog anon

🍟 French fry anon

🫎 Moose anon

🦝 Racoon anon

🎲 Dice anon

🦂 Scorpion anon

🫁 Lung anon

🐍 Snake anon

🏐 Volleyball anon

🦗 Grasshopper anon

🌧 Rain anon

(n/a) Twilight anon

💌 Love Letter anon

🛹 Skateboard anon

🐑 Sheep anon

🏀 Basketball anon

🍁 Maple leaf anon

🦭 Seal anon

🤍 White heart anon

🐤 Chick anon

🌾 Grass anon

🥩 T-bone steak anon

🪱 Worm anon

🪷 Lotus anon

🦤 Dodo anon

✨ Sparkle anon

💿 CD anon

🥚 Egg anon

⚡️ Lightning anon

🤷 Shrug anon

🐝 Bee anon

🐊 Crocodile anon

🥀 Wilted Flower anon

‼️ Exclamation anon

🦢☕ Swan Coffee anon

🪸 Coral anon

🍍 Pineapple anon

🌵 Cactus anon

🪿 Goose anon

🍓 Strawberry anon

🧙‍♂️ Wizard anon

👑 Crown anon

🐅 Tiger anon

🪗 Accordion anon

[yagurlhere]

WARNING: SPOILER-ISH, MENTIONS OF DEATH!

Mushroom, darling, are you alright?

You know, looking at this sneak peek, it reminded me...

...Mushroom can re-grow if she dies from unnatural causes, such as being killed, from what I've seen, but as for a natural death...like perhaps decaying...

...It looks like fungi, like Mushroom (duh) is, which probably represents something. Perhaps it could be Mycelium, which Mushroom has, that's very interesting to me, but it also looks like fungi starting to be frozen...or spiked...

...Mushroom's droplets have also been frozen, and whatever happening, it looks like something is bothering her.

I'm more convinced that of anything, since she's already died at one point, if anything bad happens to them again, (which I feel like will, they just give me doomed friendship losing each other in the apocalypse despite all their efforts to help each other vibes,) the Jaguar's dying, if you know what I'm saying. (I heard Chester even joked about killing him off if something, which could just be a joke, but again...) But I definitely don't want them to abandon the re-growth process Mushroom has, and how she literally DIED at one point, and given this promotional picture, it's starting to make me think it's not unlikely that something bad might happen to Mushroom again. I just hope they don't abandon Dynamite's problems either.

...Man I need to catch up cause I'm really invested in these two's story.

[alphynix]

Neolicaphrium recens here might look like some sort of early horse, but this little mammal was actually something else entirely.

Known from southern South America during the late Pleistocene to early Holocene, between about 1 million and 11,000 years ago, Neolicaphrium was the last known member of the proterotheriids, a group of South American native ungulates that were only very distantly related to horses, tapirs, and rhinos. Instead these animals evolved their remarkably horse-like body plan completely independently, adapting for high-speed running with a single weight-bearing hoof on each foot.

Neolicaphrium was a mid-sized proterotheriid, standing around 45cm tall at the shoulder (~1'6"), and unlike some of its more specialized relatives it still had two small vestigial toes on each foot along with its main hoof. Tooth microwear studies suggest it had a browsing diet, mainly feeding on soft leaves, stems, and buds in its savannah woodland habitat.

It was one of the few South American native ungulates to survive through the Great American Biotic Interchange, when the formation of the Isthmus of Panama allowed North and South American animals to disperse into each other's native ranges. While many of its relatives had already gone extinct in the wake of the massive ecological changes this caused, Neolicaphrium seems to have been enough of a generalist to hold on, living alongside a fairly modern-looking selection of northern immigrant mammals such as deer, peccaries, tapirs, foxes, jaguars… and also actual horses.

Some of the earliest human inhabitants of South America would have seen Neolicaphirum alive before its extinction. We don't know whether they had any direct impact on its disappearance – but since the horses it lived alongside were hunted by humans and also went extinct, it's possible that a combination of shifting climate and hunting pressure pushed the last of the little not-horses over the edge, too.

———

NixIllustration.com | Tumblr | Twitter | Patreon

[river-bottom-nightmare]

The kid really wasn’t supposed to be an issue. Dick assured himself it wasn’t going to be an issue. He crossed his heart and hoped to die, dragged a knife over his throat, offering Tiger a solemn promise before flipping the knife between his fingers, dancing too close to his jugular, and winking. (One of these days, he’d put a flash of panic in Tiger’s eyes, he just knew it.) Agent 37, especially now with Tiger, was damn near unshakable.

But here’s the thing: this little brat with a suit more expensive than half of Bruce’s wine cellar and a pout sweeter than a baby’s and pudginess still clinging to his cheeks hadn’t stopped talking about jaguars in the past ten minutes.

“Eyes on target. Two minutes to break through security’s last defense,” says Tiger’s voice in his ear, quiet even through their tinny comms. Dick can picture the concentrated furrow on his forehead, the set of his shoulders and flex of his traps to settle himself before a mission’s last stretch. He can picture it better than he can his siblings, somedays.

“That’s great, buddy!” Dick tells Tiger and the kid damn-near clinging to his leg. His hair is blonde, ruffled, clinging to any vestige of its gelled style with a sort of hopeless desperation, like trying to ground a ghost. And this wouldn’t be an issue, it really truly wouldn’t, if Damian Wayne hadn’t also spent their last gala running his tiny, calloused hands through his sticky hair, doing his best impression of not clinging to Dick’s leg, and continuously talking about tigers.

How long has it been since someone’s last touched him with such simple trust? Dick feels the boy’s faith angularly, like a spear of glass through his ribs, through the ribbons of his tendons.

It’s frigid. The two of them are on the ballroom’s balcony, letting the wind use her cold fingers to trace the underside of Dick’s scalp, letting a night of dancing and quiet drugs and secrets spill out behind them. (Letting Dick protect this child’s innocence a day longer.) He isn’t true royalty but he may as well be, the way Bruce always was, because underneath the balcony overlook is a very illegal jaguar enclosure. Inside, the jaguar seems to be stretching, waking herself up for the day, taking note of the iron fence surrounding her as Dick supposes she does every morning. Dick can sympathize. There’s a different sort of freedom they’re both experiencing for the first time, and Dick thinks they both rather prefer before.

“—and they have the strongest bite of any big cat! Compared to its size, I mean.” The boy clearly thinks this fact is splendid—it actually kind of is—and he looks up at Dick, pleading with his eyes for acknowledgement. His aunt and uncle, the child’s new guardians, are attempting to use him to release a bioweapon four nights from now that would potentially kill millions. He’s resisted them for weeks, and here he is, begging for a morsel of praise.

Dick lets his eyes go wide. “Whoa, really? That’s actually pretty cool.” The boy beams, his little wildflower head bobbing and his smile unburdened, beauty like something peeking up out of the earth for the first time. God, Damian used to hate these parties. Used to scowl at any mention of fumbling himself into a child’s suit and making nice with shark-toothed civilians for hours. Used to look up at Dick with that same unfiltered joy when they sat in the hall, asking Alfred to sneak them some tarts, Damian leaning into Dick’s arm and telling him about a cool new tiger fact he learned. That arm still prickles. Emptiness does the opposite of pain, and somehow that is always worse.

“Everything’s disabled,” Tiger’s voice nudges him out of his reverie. “Except the last password. Needs to be handwritten. You got that kid to open up yet?” Dick can hear the challenge in his voice, ever so subtly weaved into his even tone, and he can’t keep his lips from turning up at the edges.

The jaguar in the enclosure below folds up from her stretches, smooth like a burn, and leaps atop a large rock in her enclosure. The boy is stunned into silence for a brief moment. He seems to be gazing at the jaguar with a dangerous sort of longing in his eyes. Like he wants to be cracked open, like a stone-fruit ripped in two and devoured, like trust seems to be at once a holy and sordid thing to him. (He seems to be exactly the son of parents who, rather than entrusting any of their relatives or partners, made their child create the password for access to a mass bioweapon, then had the brilliant sense to be assassinated before they could tell him about it.)

Quietly, murmuring into the comm on his wrist, Dick says, “Try panthera onca.”

There’s a pause, then, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“He’s a kid, Tiger.” It wasn’t really that long ago that Dick was making up stupid passwords for Bruce to guess. The password to the pillow fort Dick made for Bruce’s birthday was the binary nomenclature for a bat. The password Damian uses—used, fuck, used—for his phone was the king cobra. 

Silence from the other end of the comm. Silence from the kid, too. Dick glances over, and sees he’s still hypnotized by the jaguar. He follows the child’s line of sight, and finds the jaguar staring straight at them. I am hungry, her eyes tell him. I have not felt another living being in so long that I will devour the next one I touch. I am so fucking starving and I want you like an organ taken out of your guts, I want to swallow you into a lanky-shaped hollow near my stomach, and maybe, Dick thinks, maybe she’ll name it “Agent 37” or “Nightwing” or possibly even “Robin.” But what I want most of all, she says with a flick of her tail and a twitch of her ears, is to rip out your bones and hold them, craft them, use them to wrench open the bars of this cursed cage so that I may run, and never return. I will take your bones with me, the jaguar promises, so you will be free as well.

The jaguar growls quietly, and Dick can somehow hear it from the balcony. Then, she flits away. Dick untenses in time with the boy next to him. He thinks of iron bars and bloody torsos and a time when he could wear his own face. He thinks of a boy, only a little taller than the one standing next to him, who would have kept him from ever giving in to Bruce’s demands to renounce his face to begin with.

(He thinks of Damian’s bloody torso, specifically, and thinks that he would let the jaguar carve open his gut and tear out his bloated bag of organs, if only she would give them to Damian. They would be more useful than his unknowable face.)

Tiger’s voice filters through the comm. “Package secure. Heading towards safehouse delta.”

The kid next to him sighs happily, again. “Pretty cool, isn’t she?”

Dick smiles down at him. “Very. What’s her name?”

The boy frowns, confusion on his face. “She doesn’t have a name. It’s better not to have one, I think.”

“Oh really?”

A nod from the child, more serious than Dick imagined “She did bad things. She killed people. That’s why they let me have her. And I think she’d like it better if I didn’t use her old name, the one that she had when she did the bad things. But I don’t want to give her a new name and have it be wrong! So she doesn’t have a name.”

“Do you think she likes that?” Dick asks. “Names are—names are important.”

“I don’t know,” the boy says, suddenly looking very unsure of himself. “But I think it’s better to not have a name than to have one that hurts you. Or to have one that doesn’t fit.”

Dick hums. Considers. Offers the boy another smile and straightens up in the way people do when they’re getting ready to leave. “I suppose you have a point, kid.”

The child nods. There are bruises in the tender skin under his red-rimmed eyes and his lips have scabs from his own teeth all over them. They’re so chapped, they’re nearly bleeding. Dick knows how much sleep children get after their parents are murdered in front of them. “Thank you for the jaguar facts,” Dick tells him, sincerely. “They made the night much more fun.”

The boy nods. Opens his mouth, closes it, then seems to make up his mind and opens it again. “Before you go,” he says, with all the hesitation he’s kept close and quiet this entire night, “can I—can I just have a hug? Please?”

And Dick, without hesitation, folds to his knees and opens his arms.

---

@dickgraysonweek dick grayson week day 2: first responder au | “can i just have a hug? please?” | spies & secret agents

---

taglist who will probably shoot on sight thinking i've risen from the dead: @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical @queenofbooknerds @scattered-winter @amillionandonefandoms

[ihopesocomic]

Apologies if you've answered something like this before, but I was thinking again about how lions in the IHS universe adorably call every cat-like thing some category of lion and now I'm just wondering about the other felid species, even ones they wouldn't logically ever meet. For example-- do you think they'd call snow leopards spotted lions too, or give them something slightly more distinct? Would cougars conveniently still be known as mountain lions? Jaguars just bulky spotted lions? For the sake of being silly, what might they have called saber-toothed felids?

My guess would be to a lion there's no real discernable difference between a jaguar and a leopard unless someone points it out to them. A really buff spotted lion would be it LOL (snow lions, little lions, you can really just make it up as you go cuz thats what I'm doing) lions in this world are a very proud species for that. Tho for the sake of simplicity they'd call cougars and sabers "mountain lions" and "saber-toothed lions" respectively. - Cat

[mwolf0epsilon]

Sponge, sitting on a folding chair in the middle of medbay while sipping on a juice box: ...

Kix, walking in and staring at them in confusion: Sponge...?

Sponge, looking over and raising their juice box in greeting: Kix.

Kix: What are you doing?

Sponge: Tup came in with a toothache.

Kix, confused: Yeah...?

Sponge: I had a look and it turns out he had an impacted wisdom tooth.

Kix: Uh-huh...

Sponge: So I had to do a quick tooth extraction.

Kix, still confused: What does that have to do with you sitting there with a juice box???

Sponge: Ah that. Fives came in for moral support and he stupidly got in between Tup and a needle full of drugs when it was time to prep the kid for surgery. I've been watching him while I wait for Tup to wake up. Most fun I've ever hard.

Fives, crawling out of a storage closet on all fours and making weird noises: I AM THE LIZARD KING, KING OF LIZARDS. I FEAST ON THE VENT SPIDERS.

Kix: ...

Sponge: He's currently going through the animal kingdom. Ten minutes ago he was a jaguar and he was convinced the CPR dummy was his prey.

[nicsalazar]

TIMING: Recent. LOCATION: A berry farm. PARTIES: @closingwaters & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Teagan promised Nicole some baking lessons, so they go berry picking first! WARNINGS: Mentions of sibling death and parental death

Nicole was rarely involved at the farm growing up. Labor was best left in the hands of her father and other adults in the Salazar clan. Her parents never forced said responsibilities on her or her siblings, even when a few extra hands would’ve greatly improved the gains. Eventually, she picked up limited skills as she approached adulthood, but wasn’t polished before hunters brought down everything two generations had worked to build.  

It wasn’t surprising that, besides the basics, Nicole worried about what to expect of this orchard. Wasn’t it the point, after all? She wanted to try and get out of her comfort zone. Berry picking was a good, harmless start. Quiet enough not to get overwhelming for her keen hearing, walking involved not to get her head spinning anxiously, and though berries were never harvested on her family’s farm, the scents as they walked along the rows of bushes, beds, and trellises filled her with nostalgia. It was, in the smallest capacity, like being transported back home. 

“Raspberry okay?” Nicole looked back at Teagan, the ground crunching beneath her as she approached one of the bushes. She wondered what kind of pie Teagan had in mind. Nicole had no preference, never had too big a sweet tooth either, but Teagan had promised to teach her some baking skills afterward. That was the part of the experience she feared most. That and reconnecting with an old friend. Because Nicole could foresee she’d much rather stay in the comfort of her own silence. 

It was, predictably, her own head messing with her. Teagan had been nothing but patient, and Nicole had the hunch she would welcome the silence too, if that were what she preferred. No. Her voice was locked away by the jaguar for too long. By the jaguar, the zoo and— No more of that. “Ever— did I tell you I grew up on a farm?”

—

“Raspberry is great, actually.”

Teagan’s gait was a little slow despite having recovered most of her strength, even going so far as to become stronger in some areas. She tried to rub the exhaustion from her eyes, hoping some kind disturbance to them would allow them to open more than just a squint. By the waves, Teagan needed better sleep, but her sorrow wouldn’t allow it.

“Hm?” She tilted her curiously, realizing the silence had consumed her voice the same way her mind had consumed itself. “A farm?” Looking Nicole up and down, Teagan let out a breathy chuckle with a nod. “You look like you would come from a farm. Strong frame ya got.” 

Playfully, Teagan nudged Nicole’s arm with her elbow. It was nice to be in nature with a friend, even nicer that they were passing the time with some of Teagan’s favorite activities. She loved teaching others how to cook and bake, so when Nicole agreed to spend their time that way, the nix couldn’t help but jump at the chance. 

“All right,” She knelt next to one of the bushes, analyzing the berries. “Most of ‘em look ripe for pickin’, but be mindful of the very firm ones. Those’ll be too tart. Don’t pick to many of ‘em, aye?”

—

With a nod, Nicole selected a raspberry hanging atop the bush in front of her, setting it inside the small basket she carried along. She wasn’t the only one benefiting from a peaceful distraction, it became evident when Teagan slowed down behind her. Though her gait showed vast improvement since she came out of her frozen state all those months ago, Nicole knew there were other issues weighing down on her friend. Making her movements more lethargic than they should be. Nicole worried about her friend's sleeping habits, she had no way of hiding it, and her face never concealed any of her concerns too well regardless. She worried about the lake and the forest surrounding it. She worried about all the dangers that lurking in the vicinity, dangers that Teagan could stumble onto should she walk out of her cabin while sleepwalking. She worried. What else was new?

They met in this orchard because there was nothing to stress about, so Nicole tried to stick to the plan. “A farm,” she let out a mumble in confirmation. She focused on the raspberry bushes when Teagan regarded her. Something about being so irrevocably perceived by anybody made her skin crawl. Her ears were on fire. She blew a puff of air through her nose, more at ease when she heard the chuckled. It was okay, Teagan was her friend. Like Felix. Like Syd. Friends joked like that. It was a good occasion to test her own non-existent humor. “No. none of that. Never did much of the farm work,” she clarified, a crooked smile stretching across her face. “Was really into sports growing up, though. A sprinter,” she lifted one shoulder, figuring that was the most logical explanation for her physique.  

Her eyes hardened in concern as Teagan reached down for the bushes. She stepped closer, wary of her friends movements. Staying nearby in case— No. Teagan was so much better physically, Nicole reminded herself, hoping logic would squash the anxiety sinking in her stomach. No need to worry about her muscles straining or her balance wavering. Teagan had a lesson on raspberries to impart, and Nicole wasn’t going to miss it. She cast her eyes down to her basket, to the lone raspberry rolling about. It felt firm when Nicole picked it. She thought firm meant good. But she would do better in her next choices. She joined Teagan on the ground, studying the fruits before her eyes, her thumb and index finger trying out their firmness. She grabbed two, looking down at the basket, much more pleased with its content. She let a moment of silence pass, confirming how calming this activity was turning out to be. She noticed Teagan dropping a berry in her basket, and Nicole waited for her head to work out what exactly she was going to say next. 

They had a common past. Old wounds of similar caliber. The kind that festered then necrotized after being left unsupervised for too long. Nicole appreciated any moment they got to expose a few of those wounds, though she knew the fresh air didn’t always feel healing. 

“Who— taught you… all of this?”

—

Teagan could feel Nicole watching her carefully, and she couldn't help the way irritation threatened to bubble. She shouldn't have felt that way, not when the monitoring came from a place of worry. With a deep breath, the sensation luckily subsided, giving way to appreciation. Because friends like Nicole didn't come around often, especially not for someone like Teagan. 

“Ah, well, you got a strong frame all the same.” She snorted, picking a few berries and tossing them into her basket. “What's the saying? Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee? Think that suits you.” Picking a few more berries, there were a few more options, all varying in firmness. Teagan offered them over to Nicole as she picked her own, placing them onto her palm. 

“Study these beauties. Good assortment. I love sweetness, but I also like a bit of tartness too. Gotta find that…” She grinned, poking Nicole’s nose. “Balance.”

Her smile turned wan at her friend's question, but its edge remained soft. A bit fond, in fact. Memories coated in honey bloomed in Teagan's mind, recalling a time that felt like it was being seen through her filter. The haze gave the nix a bit of comfort, her smile growing as a blurry memory of her mother's grin took shape. She could see her laugh, but there was no sound. Because that's what happened with something as fickle as memory. Even the most beautiful tunes begin to warp, growing into static until the connection was completely lost. Still though, Teagan smiled. “My mam. She taught me.”

—

Nicole supposed, following social cues, she should thank Teagan for the compliment, no? Yet the word was stuck in the back of her throat. Was it— arrogant to believe in her friend’s words? No. It wasn’t arrogant to feel good about herself. Only uncomfortable. Why would her mind question such a thing? She let out a non-committal hum, another berry going in the basket. Brow furrowed, she mulled over the saying. “Don’t think— Not sure I know that one… English is weird. But, uh— right, yeah,” one corner of her mouth curved upward, as she tried not to pick up in the heat rising in her cheeks. Teagan probably knew better what suited her. She was good at that. People. Making them feel at ease. 

She held Tegan’s offering, rolling one berry with her fingertips. Nicole committed the sensation to memory. There was likely something clever to say —by someone who had a better grasp on words— about how life was similar to the berries in her hand. Tartness… to elevate the sweet notes. Or sweetness, giving away to a tart aftertaste. She wasn’t that, however. The sentiment was a shapeless, wordless thing in her head. The berries rolled down the palm of her hand to the basket once she knew what to look for. Thankfully, Teagan summarized the incoherent thoughts spinning in her head with one word: Balance. The poke took her by surprise, as friendly gestures oftentimes did. Her face tensed in an uncomfortable expression, briefly, then relaxed when her mind understood there was no danger in Teagan’s action. One day, if she kept pushing herself, her reaction would be innocuous, perhaps she would smile. It was about pushing herself, much like the exercise they were talking about before.

Nicole waited in silence, bushes rustling as she picked up a few more berries to fill her basket. She believed she was choosing a good variety, though Teagan would have to be the judge of that later. Her friend contemplated the question, and it was one of those days where Nicole could differentiate a few emotions on Teagan’s face. The small smile looked wistful, eyes slightly more dimmed. Great grief in her breath as she spoke. Much like herself, her friend learned about food from her mother. Nicole stopped herself from sinking into her own deep sadness, focusing on what Teagan wanted to share. As much or as little as she was comfortable with. For the time being, Teagan appeared open to question, and Nicole was curious. “So you lived—” like humans, she almost said, catching herself. She didn’t know much about fae or how they lived. She was more accustomed to the annoying little creatures that sometimes scared or tricked visitors along the hiking trails, than… beings like Teagan. She supposed it made sense. Her family had chosen to pass as humans for the most part too. “She taught you a lot?”

In case Teagan didn’t wish to speak of her loved ones, Nicole came up with deflection. She glanced down at her basket, pondering. “How many you think we need?”

—

Eyes grew misty and sound became dull and distant, a peculiar yet familiar weight sticking with pins against the fae's shoulders. She squeezed her eyes shut instinctively, hoping to prevent tears from brimming her lids and toppling over. In the cold darkness, memories remained, and Teagan gritted her teeth when she couldn't force the sound of any of her late family's voices to surface. 

The world continued on without them, and she hated it for that. New memories took root and entangled themselves with the grief the nix had immersed herself in. It filled her completely, especially then. Teagan knew, even as a child, that she would exist how she was then. She knew she would forget the little things, and when those were gone, she'd slowly forget the big things. 

Maybe that was better, she thought. If she could forget them, then she would be free of her grief, living a life without the pain of losing them. But that seemed like a nightmare to Teagan. So instead, she held tightly to the only tangible reminder of what life there was; pain. 

“Yeah,” She breathed shakily, only just then realizing her hands were stained with purple. “Shit. Sorry.” Her voice remained a whisper as she wiped her hands and did away with the ruined berries. “I…” Teagan cleared her throat and centered herself with a lie plastered on her face. “Um…” Biting her lip, she told them the truth, a bit unwillingly. Tears fell to her cheeks and rained down to her jaw as she managed to lift her head to meet Nicole's gaze. 

She appreciated the way her friend gave her the option to move on, and that kindness was exactly why she couldn't help but reach for Nicole's hand. Teagan cupped it gently in hers, running her thumb over the back of her hand. “Don't even remember any of their voices.” She croaked, “Got my mam's recipes, but I think…I'd prefer her voice over the scribblings paper. Have my,” She chuckled dryly, thinking of her siblings scurrying into the kitchen for their mother's cooking. “Have those little fuckers trying to beat me to the food. Got some family left, but,” With a sigh, Teagan gave Nicole's hand a squeeze, “Can't bring myself to reach out. Just know I'll ruin ‘em somehow.”

—

She shouldn’t have asked. Nicole knew too well how intrusive that sort of question felt. How painful it was to look back at everything. Abhorred it when it was aimed at her. Watching Teagan compose herself briefly, Nicole battled with the guilt over asking in the first place. It weighed heavy in her throat, making it difficult to swallow or to speak something else into existence. Divert the conversation. She ignored the impulse to shut down, rapid as it drummed in her chest. Instead, she waited, figuring every person approached their pain differently. Nicole didn’t know how to find the right words to articulate what a loss felt like, no, but she didn’t think it was fair to deny Teagan the chance to open up about such hard feelings. 

Her eyes darted around, focusing on the basket, the bushes, picking a few more berries, allowing her friend to adjust. Until a damp hand closed on hers, letting her know that it was okay to witness Teagan share a vulnerable moment. Nicole shook her head, brows furrowed in concern, wishing she could find her voice to tell Teagan she had nothing to apologize for. The admission that she didn’t remember what her family sounded like constricted Nicole’s throat, emotion pressing down painfully, rendering her useless when it came to comfort. Didn’t she know that too well? Wasn’t the only sound from her past still tormenting her mind, her mother’s ear-splitting scream pleading for help? Wouldn’t she trade all she had —and what she didn’t have— to be able to change that? To recall the good? Her father’s I love you, or her sister’s laugh? 

She blinked, but her eyes were dry. Those tears had long been stunted. Finally, she dared give Teagan’s hand a squeeze. She nodded, an unspoken apology in her gaze, but something about the physical gesture made air easier to reach her lungs. She could use her voice again, though she wasn’t sure anything she said was enough. “Neither can I. Their voices—” she trailed off, allowing herself to think of them briefly. They weren’t completely gone, she’d heard that too many times in the aftermath, offered as a way of consolation. They’re never gone. It became a reality down the road. She heard Nayeli in every little girl who excitedly asked about petting animals at the park. She pictured Yadiel as every moody teenager. Nicole pressed her lips into a line, forcing the curves upward, in a bittersweet smile when Teagan brought up her concerns over contacting her remaining relatives. “They’d want to hear from you,” she rasped, more certain than she’d been all day. She was certain because she would. She would give everything for any of her family members to turn up at her doorstep and wake her up from the never-ending nightmare. 

How many berries do we need? The possibility of moving from the subject was still there. She debated whether to bring it up again or stay in the moment. She felt Teagan’s hand, swaying her in one direction. “Never… got to hear back from mine— I know shit won’t be fixed between you and— But I’d take it in a heartbeat.” 

—

Teagan scoffed clearly, shaking her head and sniffling. “Misery truly does love company, the little shite.” Her chest felt a little lighter then, and she managed to look at Nicole without falling apart. She swallowed, clicking her tongue, “It's like their voices are there, but the signal is off, aye? Can almost hear it, but then there's static or it's too muffled to really…hear it.” Teagan sighed, brushing her thumb on the back of Nicole's hand as she stared into the void while her friend offered logic. 

“Just doesn't seem so simple. Was such a little fuck. So angry. I'm…I'm still angry. All the time.” The words barely managed to slip through Teagan's gritted teeth, a burning filling her belly as acid coated her throat. “And that's what got me into all this trouble in the first place. I was a monster, a-a-a danger to them. Might still be now, but…” Teagan took a deep, shaky breath, giving Nicole's hand one last squeeze before she retreated her own to grab the filled basket. 

“Perhaps you're right, though. I'm lucky to have family left. Think I'll…” She presented the basket to Nicole, her smile a little more genuine. “Make an extra pie or two and see if they wanna come for a visit.” Taking another shaky breath, Teagan stood up and offered her other hand to Nicole, feeling as though they had enough berries to not only bake, but to snack on too. She got the impression they could relate more than ever, likely talking well into the night. And she had plenty of wine that could pair with pies and fruit. “You up to getting a bit hanging? Think we deserve a little hwyl for getting this far, eh?”

—

Nicole let out a puff of air through her nose at the comment, finding the humor in it. With that, some of the tension eased on her shoulders. If she couldn’t talk about hard shit with her friends, then how could she ever be ready to share her story? How would her family’s legacy remain in time? It was easier, of course, to blame it on misery. She did so plenty in the past. She appreciated the understanding from someone who’d dealt with similar or worse. “Guess so,” her eyes flickered back to the bushes, pondering on it. She hoped one day it wouldn’t only be misery bringing her closer to the people she cared for. She wished there was more to her. She wished she was more than an unspeakable tragic past and poor coping skills. She was trying, and she’d keep doing so. Giving a silent nod, she agreed with Teagan’s perception. Static was a good way to describe it. She supposed, getting trapped in a different body —an animal body at that— didn’t help clear out any of the static, it made every memory more distant than it was.   

Perhaps there was a limit, Nicole considered, when Teagan explained it wouldn’t be so simple to reach out. Perhaps there were actions that pulled families apart in more permanent ways than death ever could. For her, there never would be. No if or buts. She hadn’t lived the same life Teagan had, however. They were marred in blood in different ways. Nicole wanted to argue that angry people still deserved families. That fuck ups and monsters could— They could— Otherwise, wouldn’t she share a similar fate as Teagan? How many times had she awakened with dry blood in her mouth? How many limbs and skulls had the jaguar crushed? “You’ve realized your mistakes, no? That’s— a step. Hard to take the next one when— there’s nothing to walk toward,” it led to aimless wandering. Circles, dead ends. She knew that too well. She hoped for her friend’s sake that reaching out to her family would reveal the next step for her. 

She let go of Teagan’s hand, letting a moment of contemplation pass between them. A pang of guilt struck beneath her sternum when Teagan spoke up again. Nicole didn’t mean to use the loss of her family as an argument, though the more she replayed the conversation, the more she understood why it could be understood that way. Fortunately for her, it didn’t appear like Teagan interpreted her words as malicious. The tightness in her chest loosened when her friend smiled more openly. There was a possibility that Teagan could reconnect with some of her relatives. She was certain some tough conversations were on the horizon for her friend, but all Nicole could feel in that moment was a foreign sense of joy for the other. “Sounds like the ideal incentive, been hearing some good things about those pies—” the corner of her mouth twitched upward, an amused smirk slowly creeping onto her face. She extended her hand for Teagan to grasp once again, helping her rise from the ground. 

“The—” she chose not to attempt speaking the word. “What?” she breathed out a laugh, eyebrows knitted. She understood what Teagan meant, if only due to the rest of the words in that sentence. The berries they picked looked to be enough and they could head back to Teagan’s cabin to get started on the baking. Her nerves soared again, but she smiled through them. “Sure, we can— we deserve that…” she mumbled, unsure what Teagan’s word meant, but slightly more certain of what it felt like.