#Jacob The Loofah

[browsethestacks]

I Hear the Blues A-Killin': Frasier Meets Columbo

This Was Fun

[virginiaisforvampires]

Hi V!

Politely requesting a jam/loustat hit. Thank you in advance for enabling my addiction 😂.

*cracks knuckles*

Picture it. Prague, 2023.

It’s a warm night in June as Jacob prepares to film one of his most emotionally draining scenes — the outside scenes of the burning of the Théâtre des Vampires.

Across the way is Sam standing with the crew on his night off. He’s intensely focused, all of his attention on Jacob.

They film multiple takes and Levan yells “cut!” Each time, Jacob rushes to meet Sam who is also rushing to Jacob. They are glued to each other all night. Every time Levan yells “cut!”, they speed to each other’s sides as if they need oxygen and only the other can supply it.

Picture it. New Orleans, 2026.

One Day

“You never talk about it,” Lestat sadly whispers as he grazes the wet loofah across Louis’ hot skin.

“Talking makes it real,” Louis gruffly replies, his voice still hoarse from the screams that rattled them both awake.

Lestat sighs as he pours the water from the tub over Louis’ back, gently urging Louis to relax further down so he can finish washing the bloody sweat from his lower half.

He didn’t miss the way Louis was still trembling despite the warmth of the bath. Lestat knew, and he knew not to pry. The nightmares had been increasing the longer the tour continued and the more Daniel continued to warn them of the rumblings of the impending dangers. Lestat knew his time on the stage was about to come to a close. He had done all this to protect Louis, but at what cost? He would not risk Louis’ safety any further. He didn’t care if Louis insisted he continue the tour. He didn’t care if Louis laughed off the threats as cowardly. Lestat would not and could not fathom being responsible for anything hurting Louis ever again.

“I can’t get it out of my mind,” Louis finally rasps, pulling Lestat from his thoughts. “I don’t want it to be real, but remembering her screams is the only thing that makes me know it was ever real at all,” Louis whispers in grief.

Lestat shuts his eyes as the pain pierces his heart. He gently lifts up one of Louis’ legs, pressing tender kisses up and down his calf before washing it. He didn’t push further. He knew what Louis meant, and he knew Louis needed him to listen.

“He took those memories,” Louis said with his voice growing stronger in anger, “I couldn’t remember either of you. Not really. I only thought I knew….the version of you and her that he put in my head….but it wasn’t true.”

“If I ever see his face again, I’ll kill him.”

Louis looks up to see Lestat holding his ankle with tears rimming his eyes, his shaking fingers tracing along the lumps at the back as he felt the rocks still embedded in his ankle.

“I’ll let you remove them,” Louis gently offers. “One day.”

Lestat looks at him then and gives a slight nod as the tears finally leak out. Louis reaches up to catch them with his fingers before bringing them to his lips to lick the sacred blood of the tears into his mouth.

Lestat presses Louis’ ankle into his forehead before reverently kissing the lumps and lowering his foot back into the tub. He repeats the same sacred ritual with the other ankle, his sobbing tears never stopping as he feels the rocks in Louis’ ankles.

“One day,” Lestat finally says when he lifts Louis from the tub to dry him off and carry him back to the bedroom, “I’ll get them out, Louis. I promise you, mon cher. Just say the word.”

“One day,” Louis repeats, “and maybe it won’t hurt as bad to forget that pain.”

Lestat deposits him on the bed, wrapping him up in clean pajamas and pulling back the covers to tuck him in.

“I didn’t figure you’d want the coffin again tonight,” Lestat tells him as he climbs into the other side of the bed and opens his arms for Louis to snuggle into them.

“No,” Louis murmurs as he settles himself against Lestat. He clings to Lestat, burying his face in his neck as Lestat clutches him closer, and they lace their legs together.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Louis starts.

“Tomorrow what?” Lestat asks as he traces soothing circles against Louis’ back.

“The rocks,” Louis continues, “maybe tomorrow I’ll let you take them out….I didn’t deserve that. I don’t deserve it now.”

“You never deserved anything but goodness, mon cœur,” Lestat softly cries.

Louis remains silent as he snuggles closer.

“I love you, Louis,” Lestat whispers as he presses a kiss to Louis’ head.

“Is that really what you said? In 1973?”

“Yes. I just wanted you to know. I didn’t know if it was real. He said you’d hurt yourself and I didn’t know — ” Lestat’s voice broke.

“I know,” Louis reassures him as he nuzzles his nose into Lestat’s neck, “you always say it to me. You always say it when you know I’m struggling.”

“It’s always true,” Lestat whispers.

“I know it is,” Louis says quietly. He pauses, the words on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t. Not yet. If he says it and loses Lestat, it would kill him. He can’t imagine existence now without Lestat.

He was about to say more, anything to let Lestat know how he felt without the actual words when Lestat’s soft snores vibrated through his chest. Louis softly smiles to himself.

One day, Louis thinks. It can wait until one day. Maybe tomorrow, he thinks as he allows sleep to claim him once more. He doesn’t hear Daniel’s frantic calls or their vibrating phones across the room warning them of the latest gossip amongst the vampire world and wanting to know exactly how much Lestat knows about the mother vampire called Akasha.

[dibbs-n-scribbs]

I need to make a Monk x Columbo crossover so bad its not even funny. They would contrast each other perfectly but complete each other in ways I can't even fully understand yet. I'm thinking it might be a Marty Eels situation where Monk isn't really used to someone upstaging him but it baffles him even more than Marty cause Columbo seems to actually be legit and know the detective lingo! However, even Monk himself probably wouldn't be able to tell whether Columbo's being true or not with his questioning tactics. Like yeah Columbo is mistaken as this and that all the time, but is he telling the truth? Not even Monk would truly know!

What would the case even be about? Surely it would involve someone who's rich and has a lot of power, as most Columbo villains fit that description.

And Trudy! I feel like the Trudy reference would be deep, maybe not 100 percent integrated into the plot, but definitely something that would possibly warm Monk up to Columbo and strengthen their partnership. (Now I hear there's an actual Columbo episode way later on that involves something happening to Mrs. Columbo, but if those spoilers I saw were true, then that'd also make their connection stronger - but I haven't gotten that far yet!)

How would the rest of the team feel about Columbo? Would they be impressed? Would they find him a little annoying cause of his bumbling nature? Would it be just like being with Monk? I think all this stuff is interesting to think about.

I spent last night rewatching this Columbo x Fraiser crossover comic dub (can't find who made the original comic but Jacob The Loofah did the comic dub on yt!) and I was just fascinated by it. Now I haven't watched Frasier but everything seemed to fit so perfectly, not to mention the drama and comedy was on point! To make a crossover comic so well, you could definitely see the hard work put into it! I want to be able to make something just as great, especially after its been a long while since I feel as if I've made something of quality. I'm far from being a writer myself, but I do want to make this project some sort of reality, truly. If anyone has any writing resources or know where to start with personal projects like comics or even animatics, I would really appreciate it.

[nutritionfreek]

Living with sensitive and dry skin is indeed challenging, but there's a solution worth exploring. Lucy Rose by Dr. Jacobs Naturals understands these struggles and presents a range of products designed to alleviate discomfort and nourish the skin. Among them, the exfoliating loofah rose soap stands out, offering a sensory-rich experience with its apricot seed infusion. Free from harsh chemicals and backed by dermatologist recommendations, Lucy Rose provides gentle care for delicate skin.

[afterdeathfashion]

I have landed the senior design director position for Avante garde fashion designer. Jacobe Salguromero on his debut After+Death. My threads are all black which is my vision to make the wearer of our clothing. The one main focus. Sure, the clothes are going to be badass. Comfy as hell and dark. But working with 150 shades of black. Can be troublesome. 65 of them all look the fucking same. As a graphic designer. Sometimes, black is fucking black. I tend to have to get creative as sun bleaching and loofah bleaching some garments offset it.

AfterDeath is an all inclusive brand. I want my clothes on my mother,brother,aunt and grandfather. All at the same time. When working with Balenciaga they taught me the ins and outs of designing with a genderless vision. It's breathtaking at times and a style has no limits. It's freedom. Fucking freedom.

[agoobersretreat]

Examine: Big badonkers, humongous hungolomghnonoloughongous I am not sorry if you recognize where that last part came from.

"God bless ProZD for being able to pronounce that word. At least, I'm pretty sure it was him that either did it first or got the most popular one?"

"But also, God damn. Those are some absolute beach balls. Maybe even yoga balls~."

(Also, yes. I am aware I am answering these in the way that's not how they're supposed to be answered. Whoops~.)

(UPDATE: It was Jacob the Loofah, not ProZD.)

[rowanblanchardfanclub]

“instylemagazine: A quick spritz after working up a sweat on the dance floor. ✔️ @rowanblanchard 🎥: @thefacinator #InStyleWBGlobes”

[melonfacade]

anyway hs and tf2 are unbelievably ingrained in my brain and had more of an impact on my psyche than anything jn my life

[anemonequeen-moved]

IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. JACOB THE LOOFAH IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. HE PISSED ON PEOPLES FUCKING TUMBLR POSTS. THATS RIGHT. HE TOOK OUT HIS TIKTOKER FUCKING DICK OUT AND HE PISSED ALL OVER OUR TUMBLR POSTS.

[honeysidesarchived]

randomize five hcs about ELLIOT for me please!! 🤍

kate i would do anything for u!!!!

34. are they the jealous type? what are they most likely to be jealous of?

she's not really the jealous type until someone/something is actually hers. and like any untouched thing, elliot holds onto the things that she does have very tightly. however, she's not very skilled at being passive aggressive, so most often it will come out very straight-forward and without mincing words--she'll just say she's jealous! she might be a teensy bit petty there for a hot min but she has a hard time disguising her feelings.

19. what are their phobias? do they have any at all?

come witching hour, the real question that should be getting asked is what ISN'T elliot afraid of? (the answer is "consequences of her actions", "jacob seed", "getting a little blood on her hands", in no particular order). but like for real come witching hour the girl is a mess. i think in a general sense elliot is intensely afraid of home break-ins/intruders, and being touchy-touched by someone she doesn't want to have touch her.

8. what do they sleep in? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing?

usually like, boy shorts and a big ass t-shirt! she likes to be very very cold when she's sleeping so the air conditioning is CRANKED and she's got like one leg stuck out, but there are very few occasions where she's not in an oversized shirt when she sleeps.

41. where would they want to live if they could live anywhere? why?

is it stupid to say "hope county"? i mean, aside from the nightmare that is eden's gate and the family, she did choose to come back to hope county after all of that shit happened during her training at the academy. i think a close second would probably be her grandparent's home in weyfield. honestly like any small town where she can keep easy stock of familiar faces, because she is in a constant state of fight or flight, but she can still get some privacy is preferable!

11. bar soap or liquid? do they like loofahs?

liquid, she's not a fucking animal. and yes, she loves a good loofah!

[myhockeyworld87]

Everyday Makeup Recs and Tips

So before you even start you want to make sure you have a good skincare routine. I’m not an esthetician, so I’m not going to make recommendations for you as to what to use because everyone’s skin is different, but that being said here are some basics. Always wash your face twice a day even if you don’t wear makeup; once in the morning and then at night. I personally only cleanse my face once a day, at night after I take my makeup off. I remove my makeup and then use a Clairsonic with my cleanser. In the morning, I only wash my face with water as too much cleanser tends to dry out my skin. I do use Thayers witch hazel both morning and night as well as my Peter Thomas Roth Potent C Vitamin Eye Cream. I moisturizer day and night as well. I use a moisturizer with an SPF in it for day, but if you know you’re going to be in the sun for an extended period of time you may want to use a separate sunscreen as well.

 Now on to makeup…haha! I go back and forth about what I do first, but we’ll start with eyes in case you have fall out. I have a ton of different products, but the eyeshadows I love are from MAC, Lorac (Which creates a ton of fall out), KKW Beauty, and Anastasia of Beverly Hills. I’m not a fan of Urban Decay, I think all their shades are the same. If you’re looking for a neutral look, I love the Lorac LUX Diamond palette, $39 for 20 shades or MAC Amber Times Nine, which is nine shades for $32 but their shades last a bit longer than Lorac. I always prep my eyelid with concealer, MAC paint pot in Painterly or Tarte 12-hour Eye Primer. This will make your eyeshadow last longer. For this example, I’ll use the Lorac colors. I always put a base color like Carat on first all over the lid, so that I have a neutral base to start. I then take a color like Grand and go into the crease, sweeping it from the outer to the inner crease, using a tapered blending brush. All my brushes are MAC but really any brushes will do. I blend that up just slightly above the crease so that there is not a stark line (Blending is key). Then I go back in with a color like Lavish in the deep crease, only blending it midway, this color I will not blend up, but more in a v down to the outer corner or lid. (FYI I always tap the excess off the brush before going to apply it to the lid). I’ll take a color like Exclusive and do the outer crease/lid in that v as well darkening that look. (Honestly I’ve never written this out, so I may look for a couple pics to add in. I’m much better at demonstration.) Once everything is very blended, I’ll take the tip of my finger and go into a color like VIP or Crystal (This color is not orange like shown online), and start on the inner corner and tap that color in, then I’ll take a clean blending brush and blend it into the middle and outer lid. Lastly, I’ll take a color like Diamonds and sweep it across the brow bone lightly. So you should get a look similar to this, minus the eyeliner:

(not my photo via  bydrie.com but the link is old and the pic is no longer there. I’ve had it saved)

If I want it to be dramatic, I’ll line both the eye and the waterline on the lid (like the photo is). Yes the waterline is a bitch to line. I really love Marc Jacob Highliner Gel crayon but it’s $26 dollars, so that’s a bit steep I know, but it really goes on nice and stays on. Personally, certain eyeliners tend to wear funny on me, so I use this on my bottom waterline and then smudge it in and it stays all day. I have used Maybelline EyeStudio Master Precise All Day Liquid Eyeliner as well on the upper lid and I do like this and the way it wears; I also like to use this if I do a winged eye as well (which is rare and I don’t do on an everyday look).

 Let’s move on to foundation. Doing your eyes first gives a time for your moisturizer to sink into your sink, which I like; but that’s just me. If you have and blemishes, roscia or dark spots you’re looking to cover, use a color corrector. Sephora $14 (and have been on special for $7) has some great easily blendable ones. Green for red spots and peach to cover the dark. I recommend only doing these if you’re not using an airbrush foundation. Apply them before your foundation and just blend them out lightly, they help neutralize the skin. I use a beauty blender to blend both this and the foundation in. My go to foundations, Tarte Face Tape, MAC’s Studio Fix Fluid (a great dupe that I have used for MAC in a pinch is Revlon Colorstay if you’re looking for a drugstore brand)

 I follow up with my undereye concealer, my absolute must have on this is Tarte Shape Tape concealer. I usually use it in a shade lighter than my foundation to brighten my eye. I blend it out with a small beauty blender (obviously this is the cheaper version at Walmart or Target because I throw this away after a month, kind of like a loofah).

 If you like to contour, now’s the time. A cheap one that I like is ELF Contour Palette. If you’re a beginner, start off with a powder it’s easier to use, but feel free to try the cream. My key advice, you are not a Kardashian doing a photo shoot, so do not leave this huge line separating your contour on your face. Blend that shit out, you’ll just look fake if you don’t. 

(Found this pic on google and this is a great example, minus the tip of the nose contour.)

Set the look with a setting powder, this is a translucent loose powder so it won’t make you look caked on or fake like pressed powder does. ELF makes a very inexpensive one $6, it’s their high definition powder. I just use a face brush for this. I’ll then add some blush. I love, love, love NARS orgasm, it literally goes with everything. A great dupe for this, but is hard to find is Mary Kay Shy Blush. Apply to the apples of your cheeks for that extra glow. I don’t recommend a highlighter for an everyday look. I’ll also use a setting spray like MAC fix+ or Tarte or Morphe, you can literally use anyone that you like. I think I have 4 on my counter right now…haha. I do this before my mascara because I always blink and that shit isn’t dry and then it’s everywhere.

 So now mascara, I’m going to just take this from my bridal tips:

Mascara, I recommend waterproof if you’re a crier like me...lol. I’m a fan of Tarte’s Lights, Camera, Splashes. I usually prep with Lancome’s CIL Booster XL Enhancing Lash Primer, it helps keep my lashes separated, but if you don’t want to spend the money on that, take a little of that translucent powder I talked about earlier, coat an old mascara wand, or a disposable one with the powder and brush it onto your lashes before adding mascara. I’ve done this little trick numerous time and it works like a charm. You can also wear fake lashes, if you don’t have a pair that you like, Adrell has great ones that look natural and so does Eylure. I always use Duo lash glue when I wear them as well.

Another mascara I like is Maybelline Lash Sensational. I feel like it doesn’t clump and wears very well. If you don’t like your lashes and are looking to get them fuller and longer I totally recommend in getting Grande Lash  MD Lash Enhancing Serum ($65). It’s a commitment, you need to put it on every night in the beginning but it does work. Also the tiny tube will last about 3 to 4 months.

 Phew I think that’s it for now. If you have any questions, feel free to send them to inbox or DM me. I love sharing tips!!!

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Chapter 3
By GleefulDarrenCrissFan He and Kurt had made a plan to meet up at his house and spend the whole weekend together. Burt had agreed reluctantly, but he knew that their time living close together was limited so he told Kurt he could go as long as he promised to be safe and respectable. It was the respectable part that Blaine was pretty sure that they were going to ignore. 
He and Kurt left glee practice around the same time, but Blaine arrived first, so he decided to get everything ready. Although Kurt had become much more comfortable and confident with sex, Blaine knew he’d have to take the lead after seeing Kurt’s embarrassment regarding the subject. 
He was perfectly fine with just making this experience about Kurt. He found he was excited about being on the giving end. In fact, he had read countless articles about it in order to prepare. He even made a stop at the local sex shop to get a few supplies that might make the experience more enjoyable, although it was pretty awkward. He ran into Sebastian while holding a box of dental dams, and of course, Sebastian made a crass remark about showing him how to use them properly. He ended up going to the checkout counter without them, although he did remember a tip about splitting a condom and cutting off the tip to make one or he could even use Saran Wrap, whatever made it more comfortable for Kurt.
He found himself bouncing on his toes as he listened to Kurt’s navigator pull into his driveway. This weekend was going to be so amazing, just the two of them, alone and able to do anything they wanted with each other, or to each other. Blaine felt himself harden in his pants just at the thought of it. “Damn it. Not yet,” he sighed as he shifted his thoughts to think of something, anything, to make his issue go away. Rachel Berry kissing him. Brittany’s and Santana’s sex tape. Jacob Ben Israel in a speedo. No Blaine. You want it to go down not scar himself to the point of trauma. Sebastian buying sex toys. That did it. Blaine shook his head and sighed as he opened the door so he could help Kurt with his overnight bag. 
Kurt smiled as he opened the passenger door and grabbed his bag. “Hey.”
“No, no. I was going to grab that for you.”
“You can get the ones in the back,” Kurt shrugged.
“You have more than one? You’re only staying for the weekend, Kurt.”
“Don’t judge me. I happen to know that when we went to Chicago, you had a bag just for your hair care products. That’s what’s in this one.” Kurt said, holding up the overnight bag. “Well, and my facial cleansers. And I needed clothes. That’s what the suitcase is for.”
“And the little one? Do you have shoes in there? You know, we’re probably going to stay inside most of the time, unless you want to swim in the pool,”
“Um, it’s supplies, for, you know, the thing we wanted to try. I’ve been doing some reading on it, and there are some risks involved. So I got us some things that might help make the experience better.”
Blaine’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “You got supplies? Where?” He reached for the small overnight bag but Kurt grabbed it before he could. Blaine reached for it again. 
Kurt bit his lip nervously as he held the bag close to his chest. “At a supply store.”
“You went to a sex shop? You-” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s face and kissed Kurt’s lips passionately. He reached for the bag again and Kurt maneuvered the bag behind his back as Blaine slid his hands from Kurt’s shoulders down his back to his ass, squeezing firmly. 
“Blaine, we’re outside,” Kurt said, looking around nervously, his cheeks blushing bright red. “Someone might see.”
“Then, let’s go inside,” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear and then dropped a few kisses to his neck. Kurt turned to the door, the bag dropping to the driveway. Blaine reached for it, but Kurt hurriedly snatched it up from the ground. “Uh uh. This is for later. Show me to my room, Mr. Anderson.”
“Not yet,” Blaine whispered seductively as he pressed Kurt against the door and kissed him passionately, his tongue sliding in between Kurt’s lips. Their tongues danced as Blaine’s hands slid down to Kurt’s ass, and he gave it a firm squeeze. “I can’t wait to take care of you,” he said as he started kissing Kurt’s jaw and made his way to Kurt’s adam’s apple before he realized that Kurt had stopped making noises and had tensed a little in his back. “What’s wrong?”
“Well. I thought since I was staying the whole weekend, we would use tonight for other things. To plan and to talk about what we want. Plus, we need a lot of prep to do this or it could end up being embarrassing or gross, and I don’t want that. I don’t think either of us does. So I have a plan.”
Blaine nodded. “Ok, so what does this plan entail?”
“Well, first, it entails you taking me to my room so I can unpack. Some of the things I brought were for our exploratory escapades tomorrow, so we need to talk about them and I planned for us to use a product tonight.
Blaine’s pupils seemed to grow dark immediately. “Then, by all means, let’s go unpack.”
_____________________________________________________________
“So when you said we’d use something in the bag tonight, this was not what I had in mind,” Blaine frowned as he held the wax in his hand. “Have you ever used this before?”
“I’ve waxed my eyebrows before, but I’ve never used this type before. Santana has. She said it wasn’t that bad.”
“Wait, Santana knows about this?” Blaine’s mouth dropped open in shock. 
“Well, I needed to find a place that had what we needed, and I knew Santana would know just the place. Besides, I had a lot of questions and she was the only person I knew that would know about it and not freak out.”
“Oh God. she’s going to give us so much hell over all of this. You know that she’s not going to be able to keep from blabbing about this,” Blaine grumbled.
“She won’t if she knows what’s good for her. I have dirt on her too. We had a pretty intense talk on the way home, and she spilled some things I don’t think she’d want me just telling anyone. Besides, she’s not as bitchy as everyone thinks she is if you’re her ally.”
“And we are?” 
“We are, I think.” Kurt smiled, grabbing the wax. “Now, do you want to do me first or do you want me to do you?”
“That’s a loaded question if I’ve ever heard one,” Blaine chuckled. “The article I read said you could just shave the area.”
“And the article I read said that’s a bad idea because it itches when the hair grows back and there’s a chance to get cuts and nicks in really delicate areas. Besides, it says there’s more of a chance that you could develop ingrown hairs and that’s supposed to hurt like a bitch.” Kurt looked up at Blaine to notice that his boyfriend was staring at him. “What?”
“It’s just, you really researched this like you’re actually into it.”
Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his. “I’m into you, and this is your fantasy. You’ve fulfilled mine more than once, especially the time you set up your Ipod in that field and brought in all those lilacs.”
“You said that was overkill.”
“You brought squirt bottles to spray the flowers so it was like a dewy meadow and talked like Jacob from Twilight the whole time. I almost expected a sparkly vampire to appear,” Kurt giggled. “But it was amazing. And it was all my fantasy. It’s my turn to fulfill one for you, and I intend to make it as special for you as you did for me.”
“So is that the reason we’re the waxing tonight?”
“Exactly. Santana said that waxing can be a little painful, especially in sensitive places, and the ass is probably the most sensitive place you could do it. One of the articles I read said that the area might be red and sore afterward, and I don’t think we’ll be up for anything sexual after we do that.” Kurt laid out several clean towels on the counter and plugged in the trimmer. 
Blaine starred at Kurt again in wonderment. “Do we really have to do this? I’ve seen you naked. You aren’t really that hairy. Besides, if we’re using protection, we shouldn’t even come in contact with it.”
“Blaine, it’s a lot more sanitary to remove the hair. Hair traps things there you don’t want to be there, like toilet paper or even fecal matter.”
Blaine winced. “Well, when you say it like that, I guess it’s a necessary evil. But I just have a feeling that I’m going to be like Steve Carell in the forty-year-old virgin, yelling obscenities at you and not being able to finish. I’ll look and feel like a-”
“An ass?” Kurt teased.
Blaine laughed. “Yeah. And I don’t want that either.” He sighed. “You know what. Let’s just ease into this. We have so many other things we haven’t tried yet, and I’m ok with what we already do. I don’t want to spend all this time prepping for this and it ends up being awful.”
Kurt smiled softly. “We’ll do whatever you are comfortable with doing today. But at least hear my plan. First, wash each other and exfoliate the skin. You’ve been doing that, right?”
“Uh, I’m your boyfriend. I know how important you rate exfoliation and skincare,” Blaine laughed. “My parents are grateful that I have my own bathroom.”
“Ok, that will make it easier.” Kurt began removing other items from the duffel bag. Two new loofahs, a trimmer, exfoliating cream, oils, baby powder, gloves, and lots of popsicle sticks.”
“There’s a lot of stuff here, Kurt. Where do we start?”
“The articles I read say to make sure that everything is clean. So, we’ll shower first. Then, we need to trim. The instruction guide says that too much hair can be really painful and too little can cause you to remove the skin. I’ve made that mistake once. It hurts like hell. Do you want to shower first, or do you want me to?”
“Why don’t we shower together? We can make sure we are good and exfoliated,” Blaine said with a grin. “Besides, we can have a little fun, just in case the waxing has us so sore that we don’t get to anything else.”
“I like the way you think,” Kurt said with a wink. “But it’ll be fine. Lot’s of men manscape now. How bad could it be?”
_____________________________________________________
“Ok, I’m pretty sure the wax has set,” Kurt smiled as he stirred the wax with a stick. Grab the baby powder and then turn over on the towel. 
Blaine removed the towel around his waist and laid down flat on the clean towel Kurt had laid down in the bathtub. “Like that, Mr. Hummel?” Blaine asked, wiggling his ass at Kurt.
“Getting cheeky, Blaine?” Kurt teased. “You need to stay still. I’m going to trim the area first, and there’s a lot of it.”
“Are you trying to say I’m overly hairy?” Blaine chuckled.
“Oohhh, sharp, Blaine. That’s exactly what I’m saying. The article said the longer the hair, the more it hurts. I got a really good trimmer though. It’s supposed to be the best.”
“Alright, I trust you. Just be careful.” Kurt turned on the trimmer and started at the top of Blaine’s cheeks. Blaine winced. 
“Stay still, Blaine. I don’t want to cut you.”
Blaine pouted. “Sorry. It tickles. And why did you start there?”
“The article suggested starting there first if you’ve never waxed before. It said it would be a good way to test if you can handle the pain.”
“Kurt, I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I told you about fight club. I’ve never lost a match.”
“Yeah, but you’ve probably never had anyone rip the hair straight from your ass either. It’s gonna smart a little.“ Kurt advised as he wiped the cut hairs away. “There. I think that’s good enough. I’m going to apply the powder now.” Kurt began shaking the baby powder on Blaine’s butt. He slapped it playfully when Blaine raised his butt up a little in the air. 
“Oh yes, spank me.”
Kurt blushed. “Blaine, you might want to stay still. I’m about to apply the wax. I have to apply it a certain way.”
“I thought you said it wasn’t hot?”
“It’s not, but it needs to be applied in small increments, and I have to make sure that I go in the right direction. I need to go in the same direction as the hair so that when I pull it, it goes against the grain.”
“You mean, you’re going to do it small patches? You might as well tweeze them if you’re going to do that. You can do a whole cheek. I can take it. And if it hurts, you can kiss it better,” Blaine suggested cheekily.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. It’s ok. Slather it on there. Get it all off at once. I don’t want you to have to go back over the same area multiple times. I’m ready. Just do it,”
Blaine tensed his body as he felt Kurt grab the lip at the end of the strip of wax. “Are you ready? I can do it gently. I have the oils right here. Tell me if it hurts too bad or-”
“For the love of Vogue, just do it alrea- HOLY SHIT On A CRACKER! Geez, Kurt, how much hair did you get?”
“You told me to cover the whole cheek. Are you ok? And what the hell is holy shit on a cracker?” Kurt laughed.
“That hurt like hell, Kurt. Are you sure you applied it correctly?”
“I did it exactly like the package instructed. I told you it’s a sensitive area. That’s the reason I was going to do small patches.”
“I don’t know if I can take that again. I think I’d rather you use a cactus as a dildo on me than to do that again.”
“Was it really that bad?”
“Bend over. I’ll do yours next.”
“Do you really want me to stop or do you want me to try a smaller patch?” Kurt asked sincerely. “Do you want me to go ahead and apply the oil? It’s really red.
“At this point, I’d like some morphine and a tub full of ice.”
Kurt gently applied baby oil to Blaine’s sore, red cheek. “Is that any better?”
“I don’t know. Rub it a little more.” Blaine teased. Kurt could feel his muscles get tight as he applied a small strip of wax on the other cheek. “Alright. Do it quick. All at onc- MOTHER FLICKER!”
“What was that?” Kurt bit his lip in an attempt to stifle a laugh. Mother what?”
“You know there’s certain words I try not to say. Shut up.” Blaine pouted, biting his lip
“Is it really that bad?” Kurt massaged baby oil to the spot where he just removed the strip.
“I think I’d rather get my arm caught in a revolving door. How the hell do girls do this all the time?”
“They get used to it. Do you want me to continue? I haven’t even got near your hole yet.”
Blaine jerked his head around. “I’m sorry but if it hurts this bad on my cheeks, there’s no way I’m letting you actually put wax there. I’m sorry. It’s like I said earlier. If we’re using protection, the hair shouldn’t be that much of an issue anyway.”
“So what do you want me to do?” Kurt asked gently.
“I don’t want my ass to look like Steve Carell’s chest.”
“Noone’s going to see it but me, and it’s ok. You don’t have to let me finish.” Kurt answered.
“Finish it,” Blaine sighed. “It’ll be ok. Just know that you’re next.”
___________________________________________________________
After an hour break so they could eat and Blaine could sit without too much discomfort, Kurt laid on a clean towel in the bathtub with Blaine bent over his bare ass. He trimmed the hair first and then applied the baby powder to Kurt’s soft, pale cheeks. “God, your ass is so sexy. You know, if you hadn’t suggested the waxing, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. You don’t have that much.”
“Well, then. I guess you don’t have to-”
“Nope. it’s too late now. You waxed my ass, I’m waxing yours.” Blaine slapped the stick down, slathering a small strip of sticky wax on Kurt’s right cheek. “Brace yourself, dear.” Blaine pulled the lip of the strip firmly. 
Kurt bucked his ass and hissed, but he flattened back down.”
“Ok, you can do a bigger strip. It’s ok. I’ve waxed before.”
“Wow, you sure?” Blaine questioned.
“Yeah, just do it. It’s not that bad,” he said as Blaine slathered a much larger amount a little further down, closer to his crack. 
“You sure?” 
“I’m sur- HOLY HELLFIRE AND SLAP YOUR MAMA!”
Blaine cackled. “What was that?”
“You shut up. I didn’t get that area on you all at once. Holy shit!” 
“I told you it hurt,” Blaine said as he rubbed oil on the redness on Kurt’s ass. “Are you ok? Do you need some ice?”
“Screw the ice. Just give me the entire tub of icecream I saw in your freezer.”
Blaine chuckled. “It’s ice cream, not asscream. And I’m not explaining to my mother where it went. I did grab another pack of frozen peas. You threw the other ones away, right?”
“No, Blaine. I put them in the crockpot with a pot roast. Of course, I threw them away. I’m not eating those after they’ve been on your ass.”
“You do know that you’re going to be licking that same ass tomorrow, right?”
“Not if you continue to be such a smartas- NUCKIN FUTS! Warn a guy first. Dammit, Blaine.”
“Sorry. You need the peas?”
“Shut up and remove the hair from my- WELL MOTHER FU-”

[businesbitch]

pick random 5 for jacob

12. bar soap or liquid? do they like loofahs?

Either is fine, but Jacob tends to have an abundance of body washes hanging around in his shower – multiple bottles, different scents, all half-used and rarely ever finished. Loofahs are a quick breeding ground for bacteria and weird to clean (he’s too lazy to actually be a germaphobe), so a good ol’ washcloth is the way to go in his opinion.

9. what do they sleep in? pj’s, normal clothes, nothing?

Sweats and pajama pants (usually of the flannel variety) are aplenty in his wardrobe, most often paired with an old, random t-shirt when it comes time for bed. Jacob has a pretty decent collection of shirts and hoodies, too, from his college days, the school he works at, and random sports teams. If it’s warm enough, though, he’ll just sleep in his boxers.

48. do they like tv shows or movies? or neither?

Jacob definitely prefers movies over TV shows. Sometimes he’ll catch random episodes of a show he enjoys or veg out for an evening to watch someone else’s favorite, but he’s not the type to leave the television on for background noise, either. He’s a fan of getting to sit down to watch, process, and finish content all in one sitting – which means no Netflix specials for him. And despite how much he actually likes going out to the theater, you couldn’t pay Jacob enough to ever get invested in the fiasco of Marvel superhero films.

35. are they the jealous type? what are they most likely to be jealous of?

Not particularly. Sibling rivalry was a struggle when he was younger and Jacob felt pretty green over a few assistant teaching positions that he missed out on during university, but he’s rarely ever let his jealousy negatively impact his life. He considers himself to be pretty level-headed in that regard, because when it comes right down to it, jealousy usually passes quickly. Jacob would rather be an asshole when the situation really calls for it.

41. do they have a big family or a small family? no family?

Jacob’s immediate family is on the smaller side. There’s his parents and his younger brother – and even one or two dogs during his childhood, making them a very stereotypical household. He also has plenty of cousins as well as aunts and uncles scattered around South Carolina, but he’s drifted apart from most of them outside of occasional Facebook likes and family get-togethers.

[voiceovernexus]

Year 2: John and Jade have a little get birthday get together. John's.... not having the greatest time though. 

Introducing: Jacob the Loofah as Dave/Davesprite (https://www.youtube.com/user/TDproduc...) 

The complete cast list can be found here: http://voiceovernexus.tumblr.com/post... 

Read Homestuck at http://www.homestuck.com/ All images, characters, and dialogue belong to Andrew Hussie. This is a non-profit fan adaptation of his work. 

This episode covers pages 5264 to 5307 of the comic. 

Editing: Cory (https://twitter.com/endlessmusings) 

Music Credits can be found in the video description.

[jacobtheloofah]

why are you a loofah??

here's the story: many years ago with my first gf i was talking to her about how im from long island new york and it got brought up that there was this long island woman, amy fisher, who in the 90's was having an affair with an adult married man and she tried to kill his wife. it's a fucked up story but the tabloids picked it up and labeled her "the long island lolita." i joked saying it would be fun to have an alliterative long island title, and the funniest word i could think of was "loofah." she told me to change my tumblr page to "the long island loofah," that eventually morphed into "jacob the loofah" and its stuck ever since!

[kentonramsey]

Dua Lipa Wears Nothing but a Sequined Moschino Guitar For Her Elle Cover

Dua Lipa stars on the cover of Elle magazine's May 2020 issue, though her interview was conducted over a Zoom call (as most interviews are right now). Melissa Giannini talks to Dua via video chat about the release of her new album, Future Nostalgia, and the effect the pandemic has had on her music promotion.

Dua was quarantined with her boyfriend, Anwar Hadid, in London for the chat - perhaps you've seen the duo make waves with their signature brand of athleisure street style? - and Dua explained that she dressed herself in a T-shirt for the occasion. "It's a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things . . . this is probably the most 'dressed' I've been," she told Elle, confirming that her go-to outfit these days is "trackies and a hoodie."

Although, when you take a peek at her full cover feature, photographed by Zoey Grossman and styled by Charles Varenne, you might feel that Dua can pull off see-through lingerie and, oh, I don't know, a Moschino guitar just as well as her loungewear. Dua is definitely known for her eccentric style, and the looks she models here - from one of Marc Jacobs's famous loofah dresses to a sequined Saint Laurent jacket with nothing underneath - certainly run the gamut. Scroll through to get lost in Dua's editorial and get the details on the amazing fashion she wears.

Related: Tell Me It's 1995, Because That's the Year Dua Lipa's Outfit Is From

Dua Lipa Wears Nothing but a Sequined Moschino Guitar For Her Elle Cover published first on https://mariakistler.tumblr.com/