#Jack speaks.

[vivalavillain]

{It's been 3 years to the day that I made this blog, or so Tumblr tells me. Some of you have been with me since my geneticist days, days before this blog even existed, and that means more to me than I can say. Had you asked me when I first made this blog what I saw myself doing with it three years later, I'd never have imagined all this and I couldn't be happier. Thank you to everyone who's stuck by me, who's written with me, who's inspired me to keep going just by showing interest. It means the world.}

[pebbledrat]

"stop posting butch and femme jack manifold"

no????

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Friendly reminder to everyone to always fact check your work. Even when it seems like it's right.

Case in point: I'm making a short little post about Gambian pouched rats(!). Funnily enough, they're named not for pouches in which they carry their young, but for their cheek pouches. Apparently most other rats don't have cheek pouches like hamsters and gerbils do. Neat.

Anyway, some of the literature I was reading said that Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food in their mouths. Makes sense-- they're big rats. But how much food exactly? I started looking. More sources agreed that, yeah, Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food! Maybe even up to 3kg over the course of 2 hours! That seems like a lot, especially considering Gambian pouched rats only weigh 1.0-1.5 kg. So I do a little more digging. Every source agrees that they can carry a lot, and they all cite that very specific number of 3kg over 2 hours.

Finally, I track down an actual paper about Gambian pouched rat cheek morphology (yes I went down a wormhole. This is my HBomberGuy moment.) The paper cites 2 sources for that 3 kg/2 hr number! Great! I find those two papers, and read them. And.

Neither paper says that. In fact, they don't really talk about Gambian pouched rat feeding habits at all. One is just an observation on natural behaviors, with a brief section on their diet but no information on how much they carry. The second paper-- written by the same guy-- was about how Gambian pouched rat behaviour changes in captivity. There was a good-sized section on cannibalism, but nothing on transporting food. So that first paper, the one that cited those other two for that 3 kg/2 hr figure, just straight up lied.

Moral of the story: always do your homework kids, especially when it sounds too good to be true. Also, Gambian pouched rats can probably carry quite a lot of food in their mouths, but whether they really can carry up to 3 kg worth of food in 2 hours remains to be seen.

[arcanejude]

at least he looked good

[kamiraaah]

EDIT: Based on your guy's reactions about the families 👁👄👁

[painless-innit-colourful]

longest one yet but guys I really think this one was worth the wait

[rewrittenwrongs]

AU where John Constantine is Janet’s (or Jack’s) ex and still semi-regularly gets calls from Tim or Janet about cursed artefacts they accidentally found and/or brought home. Each time Tim calls him over he ends up teaching him a little bit about how curses and enchantments work while he removes the effects of said curses and artefacts. Occasionally Tim will call him about non magic related problems, like his homework or how to cook breakfast when Ms Mac is sick. And one day he sees on the news that Jack and Janet Drake were poisoned overseas, that Janet was dead and Jack in a coma, and he hightails it to Gotham with no particular plan beyond swinging by the house to say hi to Tim and maybe visiting her grave. And the first thing Tim does upon seeing him is tackle him in a hug, before promptly asking if he can pretend to be his uncle.

Constantine realising BATMAN is the guy who keeps sending him passive aggressive looks and tried (unsuccessfully!!) to claim him unfit for childcare takes years off his lifespan.

[ohyoufool]

this fucking sucks I'm going to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for your mental health] reinvent myself on a college men's hockey team

[vivalavillain]

{You lot would start IC Star Wars talk when I'm unable to access my desktop for the rest of the night.}

[leona-florianova]

‘Must I put on silk stockings?’ ‘Certainly you must put on silk stockings. And do show a leg, my dear chap: we shall be late, without you spread a little more canvas.’ ‘You are always in such a hurry,’ said Stephen peevishly, groping among his possessions. A Montpellier snake glided out with a dry rustling sound and traversed the room in a series of extraordinarily elegant curves, its head held up some eighteen inches above the ground. ‘Oh, oh, oh,’ cried Jack, leaping on to a chair. ‘A snake!’ ‘Will these do?’ asked Stephen. ‘They have a hole in them.’ ‘Is it poisonous?’ ‘Extremely so. I dare say it will attack you, directly. I have very little doubt of it. Was I to put the silk stockings over my worsted stockings, sure the hole would not show: but then, I should stifle with heat. Do not you find it uncommonly hot?’ ‘Oh, it must be two fathoms long. Tell me, is it really poisonous? On your oath now?’ ‘If you thrust your hand down its throat as far as its back teeth you may meet a little venom; but not otherwise. Malpolon monspessulanus is a very innocent serpent. I think of carrying a dozen aboard, for the rats – ah, if only I had more time, and if it were not for this foolish, illiberal persecution of reptiles … What a pitiful figure you do cut upon that chair, to be sure.

Barney, Barney, buck or doe, Has kept me out of Channel Row,’ he sang to the serpent; and, deaf as an adder though it was, it looked happily into his face while he carried it away.

--Master and Commander, Patrick O'Brian

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Surprise! Did you know some toads glow under UV lignt? I sure didn't! This is a Couch's spadefoot toad (Scaphiopud couchii) showing off this fantastic ability.

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

[magicpiano]

I have seen the idea in Danny Phantom fics that the ghost zone connects alternate universes to each other. This makes me want a fic where Danny has a bad reveal with his family, escapes to the ghost zone, then goes to another world where Danny just straight up died in his accident. In their grief, his parents completely abandoned their research.

These alternate Fentons don't care that Danny is half ghost, nor that he is from another world, they are just so happy he is here. Now Danny has x2 Jazz, Sam, and Tucker.

[painless-innit-colourful]

now one of the contributing factors to the fact I can't wrap my head around the new, peaceful cclingy ending is that the fandom is so different now that it was then. there's so many fewer of us and naturally that just means that posts circulated for less time, less was made of it because there weren't as many voices repeating it over and over like there was with anything that happened back in the day.

but I think the main reason is that, somewhere deep down, I expected the nuke ending. I expected the desolation. I didn't expect the soft, good ending.

because, in the end, s1 was only ending in one place: november 16th. the pogtopia arc centred around this 'will he won't he' struggle that we were all waiting to see fulfilled, even if only to satiate that sense of curiosity, to see what had been teased to us for so long. it set a trend of shock and angst: the bigger the spectacle (explosion), the better, the more people will want to see the destruction. cool lines, dramatic sacrifices, big moments. those made the animatics. those made it trend on twitter week after week.

when the nuke fell, I accepted it almost instantly. because at least it made sense. this wasn't the blinding tonal confusion of utah, this had been established in the dsmp tone book. a big explosion, angst and self-sacrifice and a firery finale. the wins - first disc war, final disc war, etc - were exceptions to the rule, which was heaps upon heaps of suffering and angst. "the good guys die and the bad guys win," to quote my chemical romance.

but two years later, thanks to jack manifold losing a dare (of all hilariously appropriate things), a much quieter, much softer ending. no dramatic lines: typed remarks in chat replacing the feats of acting we'd seen prior. no spectacle, no explosions; just two people drawing some things to a close, completely unannounced on a sunday night. and I keep forgetting it happened because it doesn't feel like it was supposed to.

and that's not a criticism of it or its execution. one of the strengths of the dream smp was its wild format and how it pushed the boundaries of how to tell a story. sometimes it really worked, sometimes it failed, but I'm glad it always pushed the boat out. and in one of its final outings, it flipped the script one last time. no more showmanship. no more spectacle. here's two characters telling you an alternate story. where the heroes can finally rest. where the bad guys' names fade into obscurity. they're "getting better".

one day, I will get it through my head.

[luvlyycy]

he jacks off when you make him angry.

(link is audio porn, lmao, also disclaimer the last 30 sec kinda ooc but you can still be delulu if u want)

he rips his gloves off and unzips his pants when he's alone, hand immediately wrapping around his fat cock— thoughts of the argument you had earlier, causing him to squeeze harder and move faster. his moans are static-y due to his helmet, leaning against the wall, almost melting against it. "fuck- fuck— so,,, annoying." he breathes, thinking about the words you had yelled at him.

you said you hated him, he groans— eyes shut as he pictures you looking up at him with tears in your eyes due to anger.

you spat curses at him, saying he was impatient, he was ungrateful, that he's an asshole. he lets out a soft chuckle, buckles on his pants clanking together as he rests his palm his chest— grunting as he continously pumps his cock, attempting to rub his own chest the way you would, forgetting his armor was in the way. "ohhh fuckkkk," he murmurs your name when he feels himself about to cum, "i'm close baby, fuck. g'nna cum s'much for you, bitch. ugh, fuck!—" he grunts loudly, before letting out soft whimpers then swallowing them.

cum shoots from the tip of his cock, landing on the wall and seeping into his pants. he bucks into his hand as he cums, rubbing his helmet against the wall like some sort of animal. he's never came that fast. what is he? a hormonal teenager?

"fuck, i gotta apologize." he mumbles, the mere thought of sorry exiting his lips feeling as if a snake apologized to a mouse for eating it.

[xoxochb]