#JUSTICEFANGED

[luminousrider]

Excited, doggish screaming is the only warning Altena has before Honk comes running up to her, jumping up to plant big paws on her; the dog's entire body is wiggling with happiness, tail wagging the dog.

This is quickly followed by the loud, booming voice of Linus as he barrels up hot on the paws of Honk.

"TENA!"

It's not graceful in the least, but it's him and it's unabashedly genuine. Linus crashes into her full force, hauling her up in a bit of a half spin and squeezing her in a bear hug. "Fuck, where the fuck you been?! You okay? Shit went to hell so fast, and I couldn't find you or Peaches--" He'd looked for as long as he could, before he'd had to turn his attention to scared and scattered students.

He lets her down and gives her a quick look over -- too fast to really be taking in much detail beyond the fact that she was here -- before moving without thinking, a rough palm along her jaw as he leans in to kiss her. Relief and happiness at seeing her safe and alive again fueling his passion here.

"Honk!?" Altena is thrilled to see the dog bounding toward her. It could not have been easy for the poor thing during the attack but he's here now and that's what matters. She's about to lean down and give him a proper hug when a booming voice calls out her name.

She stops (sorry Honk your turn will come later) and and stands grinning at him. He charges into her and easily scoops her up and she leans into him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm fine. I'm alright. The Projectionist brought a bunch of us to a bunker. But what about you? And Lloyd? Is he..."

He sets her back down but she keeps her hands on him. It's been too long. She doesn't want to let him go. "I thought you...I was worried...but you're here. We're both here."

She'd never really thought much about the stories tied to her lance before. She hadn't had a lover then. Having been separated from him for so long and not knowing where he was or if he had even survived the attack...the tragedy of the Gae Bolg started to loom closer.

But they are together again and they are both alive and well. His hand along her jaw and his lips against hers is proof of that. It's just a story. A legend.

She still worries.

"Hey, have you found a place to stay yet? I know there aren't many options available so maybe we could help out by looking for somewhere together. You know, free up an extra room for someone else." She doesn't tell him she hopes it will let her keep a closer eye on him. He was right when he said shit went to hell so fast. If they'd been together when the fighting broke out, maybe they wouldn't have been separated. Maybe they could have looked out for each other.

Honk whines and noses against her, clearly displeased that she has not taken time yet to reunite with him. Altena laughs and finally pulls herself away from Linus to kneel down next to the poor sad pup. "And you too, of course. We can't forget you now can we?"

[adalrikr]

@justicefanged continued from here:

"Bold'a you to think you're owed a response," Linus growled out, giving the kid a proper once over after he'd been given a name. Still wasn't ringing any bells, so if this kid was somebody, Linus wasn't going to give a rat's ass about it. "Well, Erk from Etruria, I don't really see how anythin' 'bout me or my kin has anythin' to do with you." And with those words, said with an annoyed sort of finality, Linus did let the boy go -- releasing him to stumble back to his own footing as he turned to act like he was busy with something else. But the kid just wasn't taking the hint... Sighing loudly, shoulders slumping, Linus brought his attention back around to Erk. "Do I look dead to ya now?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Listen, I don't know ya and ya sure as hell ain't one of the F-- I don't know you. I don't know where ya got it in your head that you know me or my brother. We ain't never been to Etruria." He wasn't as good about keeping quiet about certain topics as Lloyd was, but Linus did try to catch himself -- it was just hard to try and figure out where this brat knew him from without giving something up.

"No. You don't look very dead." Erk dusts off the front of his uniform where he had been grabbed, frowning as he noted the wrinkles it in. His cape is also slightly wrinkled, but it often was, so he did not care so much about that, "But that is not an indicator if it happened or not."

He kneels, picking up the tome that had been dropped when Linus grabbed him.

"I don't suppose I did not know you, other than in passing. But I was..." He pauses, wondering what exactly he was meant to say to explain how he knew of Linus and the Black Fang, "I was a part of Eliwood's army, for a time."

It is not at all a sufficient explanation of what he had actually been doing, but he does not care to tell the whole truth right now.

[verseandrhyme]

7. Is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

I have a very big bias towards Mitama getting to be the big spoon. We can only wonder where that came from.

She's not particularly picky about it though. Mitama's biggest sign of affection is when she starts to take naps on people, and she's not at all picky about the arrangement so long as she's comfortable. Both have their own kind of appeal and she's happy for either one.

Usually she prefers to be the big spoon if she feels protective or possessive and small spoon when she's feeling lonely, but other than those specific moments it's just a roulette wheel of opportunity tbh.

Silly Claudetama additional answer: she likes to big spoon him because he needs to rest more and it's easier to keep him from running after his latest idea.

[aimlessarchery]

BARKBARK BITE YOU FINNA GET HIT BY THE DOG MAN

There's a sharp metallic squeak from the hinges of Python's door when he yanks it open, staring flatly at the man outside. The darkened skin beneath his eyes seem especially pronounced, perhaps due to it being the middle of the godsdamned night.

"Great work, really. You got a roommate you're competing with for the best dog impression, or is the other one an actual dog?"

He sways to the side, leaning into the doorframe.

"Either way. This still ain't your room, sorry to say. Try one over to the right."

[enarmor]

Target acquired. His mission was simple, but boy, was it going to be a delight!

Serial womanizer. Absolutely no game whatsoever. Goofiest headband-hairstyle combo out there. Which was kind of saying a lot, considering how many guys seemed to have headbands around here--

But that wasn't really the point! Today was this guy's unlucky day, and Linus was going to send him on his terrible way with a grin and a laugh!

All he had to do was slip one of the much beloved treats of the many Garreg Mach strays into the flirt's back pocket and--

Yeah, there they went! Cats. Dozens of them. Stampeding over each other in a caterwauling crash to swarm the guy. Some of them simply meowed at him loudly, but others were far less passive and went after the tantalizing smell of their treat with fangs and claws. Those trousers would not be surviving to see another good day.

For as perceptive as Sain can be, it is damn shame he let this slide.

Because the moment the kittens strike, confusion sets in. He hasn't noticed the treat in his back pocket by the time they clamor around him, thinking they desire only his affection. Sain tries to pick one up from under the arms, smiling at it as he presses his nose into its tummy.

"Ahaha, hear to greet your knight and protector? Why hello! I've plenty of love to spare for you adorable things!" And they have plenty they can do for him. A devilish grin spreads from cheek to cheek. "Come, my little chat. I'll show you to a few girls so they can see how affectionate I am..."

But the cat isn't here for any of it. It swats at his headband in response, which Sain reacts to by squinting and immediately setting it down. Then the swarm really kicks in, and before he knows it he's being tackled to the ground by their sheer numbers.

It's humiliating.

In their attempt to dig into his back pocket, they dig his back pocket. That is to say, their itty bitty claws rip giant rips and tear giant tears--soon enough, the backside of Sain's legs are revealed for all to see.

"N-No! Ah! Bad cats! You're all supposed to help me attract women, not embarrass me in front of them! Sh-shoo, shoo!!"

His efforts are fruitless. They do not stop until he is left wearing a half-pant, half-booty short, and the whole scene starts turning heads. In his frantic attempt to locate the source of this disturbance among the growing crowd, Sain thinks he sees it: Linus' backside, walking slowly away.

If everyone else had been drawn to the sight, it stands to reason that the culprit would be the one fleeing the scene.

"Reed!" he screams, trying to claw his way closer as the felines stick to him hoping for more, "This was you, wasn't it! Ah--I'll get you for this!!"

[ninocence]

"There's my sis!" Linus blurts out, as usual far too loud but hardly caring. It felt like it'd been some time since they'd gotten to hang out, and what can he say? He missed his baby sister! They may not have been siblings for as long as Lloyd and him had, and they may not share the same blood, but that didn't really matter to Linus.

Of all the terrible shit that had come from his father's marriage to that viper, Nino had been an unexpected bright spot.

Linus had always been the little brother, but with Nino, he got to be a big brother! He may not have been a responsible person most of the time, but if Nino was involved, he looked out for her -- he still wanted her to have a fun time with him, but he made sure she was safe. Plus, he got to be soft on her and spoil her, and he loved to do it. Nino was probably the purest thing in his mess of a life, and even if he wasn't fantastic about outright saying it, he always tried to make sure he showed it.

"Guess what I heard, huh?" he grinned, tone turning conspiratorial, "One'a the stray cats had kittens! Wanna go see the fluffy li'l fuckers?"

It's a silly, selfish little feeling, Nino thinks, but she can never help the rush of surprised joy whenever one of her brothers names her as their sister in public. Not that she doesn't believe they were good at caring for her!! They were kind and good people and had always, always been nice to her. It's just... sometimes, she does wonder whether they really think she's a good enough little sister to spend time with them.

But one shout from Linus can always dispel all her worries, if only in the moment. Nino turns to him, already beaming, though her expression slowly morphs to one of awe as Linus makes his invitation.

"Ooh, the pretty golden one??" Really, it's more like dusty yellow, but Nino had taken one look at the visibly pregnant cat plodding around the monastery and fallen in love. She nods eagerly. "Yeah, let's go, Linus! Hey, I wonder if the mom cat will mind if we give her babies names..."

She takes one of Linus' big, calloused hands in her own, gripping it tightly as she runs along with his larger strides. She might have lots of friends now, but... in the end, no matter what happens, she'd still want to follow her big brothers where they go. They're family, after all!

[sublimeflowoftime]

snapdragon : is your muse merciful ? why or why not ?

Botanical Headcanons

Warning: I rant about Three Hopes and it is long. Spoilers below. (Likely will be in all of these so just block the tag ‘#{Careful now. — Spoilers}’ if you don’t want Sothis spoilers for Three Houses or Three Hopes I cannot guarantee I will remember to put read more things on the rest)

Sothis and her behavior is something that seems to change drastically depending on the game (Houses or Hopes). In Three Houses, sure she yells at you plenty, but at the end of the day she is your friend, whether she’d admit it or not. In Three Hopes, however all that is really seen of her is her either possessing Byleth for the sake of trying to kill Arval/Shez, or trying to convince Byleth to let her have complete control and let her do exactly that without resistance.

So for TWSITD and those connected to them - unknowingly or not - no. She is absolutely not merciful, and she wants you dead.

As for everyone else, yes, absolutely. Byleth made a million mistakes in Three Houses that they had to fix using her power of divine pulse (unless you never made any mistakes when playing, in which case: no you didn’t don’t lie to me), but never once does she bring up possessing Byleth to just fix it herself at all.

It’s clear she knows it’s an option in some ways, as she knew how to fuse herself with Byleth to give Byleth full control, so reasonably she could assume it would work in reverse. But she never tries, and even in Three Hopes, she never actually goes through with taking full control until Byleth gives her their full consent, even though she literally states outright that she is fully capable of doing so. She still likes Byleth, and she doesn’t want to erase their individuality unless absolutely necessary. Despite verbally saying otherwise, her actions really don’t align with that.

Even as big Sothis without the memory loss, she was originally trying to help the people. I find it hard to believe that the Agarthans just jumped straight into a war without there being any sort of warning, but she didn’t seem to have anything against them until they started killing her children, and then, eventually, her. As far as I know anyway unless I missed something.

Overall, Sothis seems to be extremely forgiving unless someone has wronged her or those she cares about in a deep way, only then does she choose to show no mercy. But even then, she still will if someone else she cares about decides to trust them. (Ex: Sothis giving up and fusing with Byleth peacefully rather than taking control if Byleth is recruited by Shez, even if she still very clearly does not agree.)

Moral of the story: stay on Sothis’s good side, but if you’ve already messed that up, make friends with Byleth. Problem solved.

[swiftscion]

Honk didn't know who brought this ball, but it was a great ball and he wasn't giving it up for anything! The puppy is, however, still too small to really get a good hold on it with his mouth, so every couple bounds he takes, it ends up popping out in an arc of slobber. But this just enhances the game, as he then has to chase it back down and try to keep it in his mouth again.

Growling and barking, Honk tries to keep the leathery ball in place with his paws, teeth sinking in slightly but not puncturing -- yet.

"It's like tryin' to watch a fish swim upstream..."

Larcei has been staring at Honk for five? ten? minutes now, unsure of just how many seconds stretch by as he keeps fumbling that damned ball. Every time he picks it up, the scion's hope swelters. She allows herself to believe--to hope--that things will be different. Maybe this time he'll keep--and it's already on the ground. Hope dead. Rinse, repeat.

At some point, though, enough is enough. The burden of being Honk's witness becomes too much to bear. Larcei rises from her seat.

"Heya, li'l guy!" she shouts sweetly, approaching with a smile and kneeling once close enough, "Lemme see that for a sec..."

Using one hand to pet him and the other to slide in quickly, she disarms the dog from its ball. Getting him hyped up to receive her attention is an easy way of opening his mouth.

But now that it's in her hands, she has to act fast. She can already feel him starting to growl.

"Alright...." she winds up her throw, flicking out her tongue and closing an eye to hone down her aim, "go get it!!"

And the ball is flung. Far, far away from her. No more having to watch Honk's tortured labor.

That is, until he comes running back to play.

[melusinezephyr]

While there was a lot of excitement to be had at a party like this for a puppy, it could only go on for so long before such a young animal got bored or tired. Right now, with no attention turned his way and no delicious treats to be had, Honk was simply hitting a moment of low energy.

Puppy's bounced back fast, of course, but...Sleepy right now...

With a big yawn squeaking out a grumbly little noise from him, Honk smooshes himself between someone's feet and flops down right there for a nap. The dining hall was delightfully warm and the chatter of people was a smooth background noise.

Zephia feels the dog lay against her feet, peeking under the table cloth to see a puppy snuggled softly in between her heels. She makes sure that no one is looking before ducking under with a little bit of difficulty.

It's uncomfortable, but worth it to be able to pet the dog that had decided that her feet were the best place to nap.

She pats its head gently, cooing softly to herself.

"Well, aren't you just the cutest thing? Who's good puppy? Is it you? Yes, you're such a good puppy."

[atefirom]

Another student, though not a face he was too familiar with. Linus feels like he'd remember hers, after all. As such, he didn't have a very good read on her just yet -- but hey, he could start off way worse than handing out some candy, right?

The answer was yes, and he more often than not did make the worst possible first impression.

But he could be charming! And like...not a total disaster! Sometimes!

"Ya look like you'd enjoy somethin' sour," Linus posed, offering a deceptively cheery yellow candy in one hand, "Or....maybe I'm way off base, and ya prefer the classic sorta treat." In his other hand was a simple handful of little, colorful candies -- pretty much just colored sugar, if he was being honest.

"Could always ask for both, though."

Panette holds little expectation for receiving any sort of gifts and thought she would utilize her time visiting Fódlan’s ghost tours and myths especially today of all days, yet she is stopped by a barely clad gentleman. If that was the word, for he hardly looked or talked the part. Refreshing and were she less concerned about letting her demeanor slip, she might be tempted to let her own poise and manner fall.

In his hands he offers two choices of candies and a bandaged hand comes to tuck her chin between her fingers. The sour one seems the most obvious, but she deduces that maybe he was trying to get rid of both if he so willingly offered up the option.

“I must admit, I have scant taste buds for anything sweet, but do not fret for your efforts will be put to good use.” From seemingly nowhere does she pull out a glass container with small holes drilled into the top and presents it. “See here? This is a special blend of spices directly from Solm! If you are not averse to trying, then it pairs wonderfully when smothered on top of sweets.”

[viridescent-lance]

Champagne: Something strong and cleverly(?) hidden in one of many flasks: This isn’t a church-run event anymore, so the bar is open and flows freely. The waiter-mice might give you judging looks if you make a fool of yourself, and really, how low do you have to go to be judged by a mouse?

While most people seemed like they were trying to adapt to the weird situation, there were some that were attempting to rally against the Elementals and fight back in some manner or another. Honestly, it all sounded like a good time to Linus -- a party, or a fight -- so he was ready for whatever ended up coming.

But, really, the guy shouting up at the sky looked like he needed a little...break.

"Looks like water doesn't know how to treat their critters! Maybe we should help!" The voice is an electric hum in his ear, and even if he had been thinking of going over on his own, now it felt like he was being pushed over there by an overeager hand.

So, with static jumping between his fingers as he wanders on over to the poor sap, slinging an arm around Forsyth's shoulders mid-argument. "Heeey there, champ. Ya look a bit...wound up. Maybe ya should come hang out with me for a while, get your knots all...un-knotted, ya know what I mean?" he laughed, pulling Forsyth away from the spot he'd chosen as his verbal jousting match with Water, reaching into his jacket with his free hand to dig out a clearly well-used flask of...something.

Damned if he could remember what it was now, but Linus knew it packed a hell of a punch!

"I'm telling you, if you would just--" Forsyth's fruitless plea is cut off physically, not in an attack but he's sure getting jostled. It's friendly and aggressive at once, and the odor of alcohol on the man's mouth solves that mystery quickly.

"While I appreciate the offer, my tension is entirely reasonable for a situation like this!" Forsyth gets a look at his assailant-companion, and things make even more sense. It's Linus Reed, Python's unbearably rowdy coworker. Rumor is he's a feared former mercenary, and it shows in the strength of his grip and his preference in liquor. "...what is in there, anyway?"

As irresponsible as it feels to turn away from a conversation, Water seems to have moved on to other things, and Linus is correct in the sense that Forsyth has himself coiled so tightly he feels he could snap at any moment. He's good at managing this, generally, but he does need to balance himself and allow himself some recovery from intense engagements.

And if he were to start teaching some classes for the Golden Deer house like he had been considering recently, it would be a good idea to start getting to know his fellow instructors better. Even if they're as...unruly as Linus.

"If I fall ill from this, you will be held responsible." Forsyth takes a sip of the stuff, shuddering. It packs a punch, but it isn't entirely unpleasant. He takes another quaff, letting the liquid burn his throat and send shivers of warmth through his body. He hands the flask back to him, their hands meeting for a second. A flower of lightning blooms on Forsyth's vine collar, the jolts of energy coursing through his body like a second aftershock. "What is it you suggest we do?"

[luminousrider]

🎄

Linus didn't really care one way or another about the whole mistletoe thing -- good luck, bad luck, whatever! -- but it was a convenient reason to give Altena a little kiss surprise, right?

Or, well, maybe not much of a surprise considering they were all over the place, but!!!

It only took a little asking around to find out where she was at -- with Peaches, of course -- and Linus channeled all his skill in stealth to sneak around to climb up the tree they were relaxing under with as little noise as possible. It was honestly impressive, considering his size. Still, there was no getting passed Peaches' senses, but with a quick shushing gesture and a wolfish grin, Linus was able to delay getting seen by Altena for just long enough to carry out his plan.

Hooking his legs around a tree branch, Linus drops himself back until he's suddenly more or less face to face with Altena -- grinning at her upside down and waggling a sprig of mistletoe with one hand.

"Hey, beautiful, didn't think you could get away with these around, did ya?"

She jumps when he dangles down in front of her, completely startled. How long has he even been there? There's no way he could have snuck past Peaches...

"Peaches! You traitor! You're supposed to alert me when someone's sneaking around!" But she can't keep the grin from splitting her face. It really is romantic, isn't it? He came all this way, figured out exactly where she was going to be, brought his own mistletoe, and snuck up on her like this. It's cute. She likes knowing she was on his mind.

She knows her cheeks must be burning red both from how silly she feels letting herself get ambushed like this and from how much she does want to kiss him now.

"Aren't you worried you'll fall?" She teases before leaning in and pressing her lips against his. It's kind of weird with him upside down but, really, that's part of the fun, isn't it?

[lalamines]

"Hey, lass, ya really kept your head out there. Pretty impressive," Linus whistled, giving her a slight nudge with his elbow. "Much as I ain't a fan of it, was smart to bring along some healin'."

It might not have outright allowed some of them to survive through 'til the end, but if she hadn't brought it along, they might not have barely scrapped by as it was.

"Ya got a good head on your shoulders. 'Tween you and the kid -- I dunno, maybe the quiet guy, too -- ya got the braincells in this group. If ya got a plan, I'll do my best to make sure it happens!"

"I'm not really surprised to hear that," Mercedes laughs as the axe-wielder introduces himself. Or doesn't - he never actually mentions his name. "Please don't take this the wrong way, you just seem like someone who prefers fighting on the frontlines. I admire your courage, you were so brave earlier!"

She's quiet for a moment, guilt weighing heavy as a stone in her stomach. Her goal had been to keep them all safe, a task which she failed miserably. He still seems chipper and grateful though, despite taking such a beating.

It's incredibly kind of him to approach her like this, bright and reassuring as he is. Mercedes decides to do her best to return the favour with a smile on her face.

"Your attitude is infectious! I feel like I'm in safe hands with you around. Don't hesitate to let me know if you need a little support though, I'll do my best to help us all get through this."

[amitieos]

[ Sweet Bun Trio ]

"Don't think I ever thanked ya proper for that cupcake way back when, so...y'know, ain't homemade or nothin', but figure they'll taste better than anythin' I could scrape together anyhow!" Linus laughed, jabbing the plate in Elincia's direction. "No bitin' this time, promise!"

"Linus! Wow - you're looking incredibly fetching tonight," Elincia grins up at him as he approaches. His outfit might not quite be considered formalwear but it would be a lie to say it didn't suit him to a tee. Besides, a person's comfort and confidence was far more important than tailored jackets and appropriate ties. Her whole face lights up when she spots the plate in his hands, and a dusting of pink covers her cheeks. He really shouldn't have! "You know, you don't need to thank me at all. But..."

"I've never been one to turn down sweets, either. I'd be honoured to accept them. Would you like to share?" She hums thoughtfully, removing a black feather from her brooch and tucking it behind his ear. "If you ever want to make something homemade for a dear friend or special someone, do let me know. I'd be happy to teach you how to bake!"

"You're a very kind person, Linus, and a wonderful friend. Fang's lucky to have such a great role model and caregiver."

[profitsabode]

"You!" Linus barked, jabbing a finger at the woman as he stomped up to her. "How the fuck did you beat me?!" It's presented as a disbelieving, angry sort of question, but he was...more or less, actually asking. He remembered most of the fight, but the point where he got knocked out was a bit of a messy jumble for him.

Sure, he was pissed about getting knocked out right after he finally landed a hit, but he didn't think his foes incapable.

"I was just gettin' my shit goin', and then you--!! What did you even do?!"

Ah, she was wondering when the oversized pup would show up.

As much as she would have loved to support her side of the battle as the fight begins to meet its end, Anna's elimination in the previous combat prevents her from directly stepping back in. She could spectate the remaining participants, although the thought of only watching a fight she holds stakes in doesn't sit well with the commander. So instead she decides to remain at the medical tents, perhaps seeking out previous combatants or meeting some new faces.

As of right now...well, he at least fits the former request.

Anna naturally is pushed back by Linus' poke, but his vulgar prose and pissed tone prove he is more bark than bite for now. Besides, she couldn't imagine even him picking a fight in the middle of neutral territory. The redhead takes back her ground and flashes a light smile.

"It's simple, Mad Dog. I kept a clear head at a time when you could not," while her words are true, memories of flubbing two openings in her last battle linger on her mind to remind her of the contrary. But he didn't need to know about that! "You should know best to respect a worthy foe on the field, no?"

It's hard to be threatening, let alone intimidating, towards a man that holds a fair amount of height over her, but Anna leans in slightly with a wink. "But you can always swing by for a lesson of mine if you need a refresher, Linus. Deal?"

[enarmor]

Sneaking (not very well) underneath the tables, Honk clambers over people's feet as he snuffles around for any dropped tidbit. He doesn't find much, but there's a flash of movement up ahead that catches the young pup's attention. He cocks his head to the side as he crawls closer, tail wagging back and forth slowly as he watches someone kick two other people under the table.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One set of legs leaves after another kick, but the other shifts and then a hand catches the boot from across the table. One quick, forceful yank later, and there was a person partially under the table!

With an excited yap, Honk joins in, making a very uncoordinated leap at the man that had been yanked. If it weren't for the fact that Sain had been yanked down a bit, the pup would have just bounced off his legs, but there's enough of a slant that Honk could dig his claws in and try to climb up into his lap.

Yeah, he'll feel that in the morning.

Raymond's hand is strong, because he rips Sain so blindingly from his seat that his tailbone crashes against the floor. He'd swear he heard a crack, too, if it weren't for the immediate distraction sent his way.

"H-Huh?" he gasps, holding himself up with one gloved palm, "Were you under here this whole time...?"

Not one to look this gift dog in the mouth, Sain accepts Honk into his lap. He struggles enough to guide him with his other hand, gently brushing down his head in a long & soft petting motion.

"Who's your owner, little guy? Ah! I bet it must be a gorgeous young lady. Perhaps she'll thank me for taking such great care of you!"

Oh Sain, you've struck gold with this one. The Lance scoops the pup up using both his underarms, emerging from the table not just with throbbing pain, but a new friend, too.

"Right then! Let's get going, you and I. We have women to woo!"