#JUST LET MEN TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS WITH EACH OTHER IN HEALTHY WAYS OF COMMUNICATION

[ladyloveandjustice]

I want to expand on what I'm talking about. And I said a little bit extra in the comments:

There's just some posts that have been going around about how to solve the issue of men swinging real right in America right now,which does have an impact on society. some guy was saying he was attacted to the right bc they were all 'welcome brother' but in the left people resent him. I think it's just. It's easier to go to an idealogy that's like 'you're entitled to this' than an idealogy that says 'hey you're not entitled to everything but you could be more emotionally healthy and kinder to other people and". That's something simply being nice or making them feel good won't ever fully fix. The "rewards" for being in the right will always feel more immediate for white men.

It's not unique to men to feel alienated in an idealogy that wants you to challenge yourself. At the same time, more kindness to everyone, emphasis on acceptance, less volatile language toward each other, will help the community be stronger over all. it is a difficult conundrum, but I don't think it comes down to 'we don't make men feel special enough

It also ignores I think, that white men DO get rewarded in leftist spaces too. a lot. Men will get a ton of adoration for saying something vaguely feminist than if a woman says it a lot of the time, and so on a so forth, everyone loves a sweet guy...I think that's something that already happens.

But let's get back to volatile language:

We always say guilt isn't going to help anyone and it isn't about guilt. But I think we need to admit that no, we do try to make people feel guilty and ashamed a lot. And not framing it around that most of the time would do a lot.

I've seen posts straight up saying it's a bad thing to want to survive and live happy lives and take actions to do this because (x) bad thing is happening. You know, the most basic human instinct? And that's not going to win over people. You may not like that, but it's not.

I don't think that needs to center on women helping men feel special about themselves. A lot of us are asked to take care of men all the time and it's exhausting. Men on the left can focus on being more positive about the concept of manhood if they want, but asking women to do the work. is just....yeah that's just the patriarchy.

I do think examining things like black masculinity etc is great though. If you have another marginalized identity, it will intertwine with masculinity in very specific ways that will be used against you, just as it is with femininity or being outside both those concepts (yet the world assigns you one anyway). I totally get that masculinity is used as a weapon against both gay men and gay women, in different specific ways. And I think at least learning about that and supporting efforts to stop this makes one a better person.

On the other hand. it would be insane of me to ask a Black woman to make a Black man feel special and accepted for simply being a man if she doesn't want to do that. Like. absolutely wild.

And it's it's rarely about that, is it? When we say "celebrate men" it's not bringing any unique experience into it. It's about white men. They're the ones who make up most of the alt-right.

Communities in the right are not compassionate but because they offer some form of reward and companionship they can seem like that. As much as people are lured in by "welcome brother" or whatever, those same people will on the right will mock any person who steps outside the strict roles that have been set.

So....we need to abolish to same roles. I think we need to focus on how we talk to people. On supporting people when they're trying.

It also comes off in how we talk to each other about basically I can harshly tell someone who has privilege over me-- a white man or straight person ect ect-- their guilt about their privilege does nothing, I'm not interested in guilt and what we need is action. But let's be real. Telling someone "you benefit from a system that makes other people suffer" is going to make someone feel guilty. And yelling at someone for feeling guilty isn't going to make that better. I think we avoid saying the truth and say what's the core of it-- no, it's not your fault you were born a certain way and now you benefit from something. A society hundreds of years in the making made that happen. And that sucks, that you basically have no choice but to be complicit. And it sucks way, way more for the people who are kept down by that system. So we need to change society. We can do it together. It's not to "make up" for you existing. It's because we care about each other. I want this for all of us, because when we see each other as whole people and are treated equally, it benefits all of us.

This is a not a "men are uniquely punished by the left for being men, we need to celebrate masculinity, stop being so mean" thing. It's a human thing. It's about the way we talk to each other and try to weild guilt towards people in general. People want to feel good about themselves. They want some kind of acceptance. If you're constantly made to feel bad, it can be hard to want to stay. This is something everyone feels, because we all have a selfish instinct.

People don't like feeling guilty. That's just how people are. It's promoting compassion, rather than hatred and resentment, that's going to help us in the end.

But me simply saying that isn't going to change much. Humans feel hurt and lash out too. When horrible things are happening to us, we resent people that don't understand that or are part of that. The paradigm shift will be hard. Not everyone will be able to do it and I don't think that's wrong.

Everyone gets frustrated by a class of people where a lot of them have more power and try to push them down. Nobody wants to talk to someone that's trying to hurt them.

That's why it needs to be someone like me who could explain racism 101 rather than idk. making a person of color say 'well white people don't feel special and accepted for being white. poc we must be nicer. let's celebrate whiteness because the right does and that's why white people are drawn to it, they feel accepted." listen to how ridic that sounds. you are literally asking for a white history month. That's the same thing you're doing when you're talking about manhood like this. The onus is not on the discriminated group to reach out to those harming them. That's up to others in the community.

But as a broader thing...We just need to figure out what the end game is. Do we want to yell and guilt trip, or do we want more people in our corner? What's more important, the end goal or if someone knows all the right lingo or matches up to your opinions exactly? What do we need to rally around? How can we take care of each other? If we're kinder to the community, more people will follow.

Anyway this is the last time i'll say some big thing like this and tag it. I don't like doing this on tumblr for a reason.

[stuckinapril]

what red flags should i look for in a man?

I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, just any human being across the board. Ok so:

When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.

Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.

Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.

People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.

Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.

If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.

Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.

It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.

Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.

This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.

Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.

People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.

Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.

The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.

[varpusvaras]

So, according to the background lore, while growing up on Kamino, if the clones had any bouts of anger or frustration, they were put into the "retraining tank" which was essentially isolation. And at some point, this just kinda manifests in the clones in not being able to express their negative feelings properly, and either pushing them down or dealing with them by isolating themselves, because those two things are the only things they know how to do that somewhat work.

The Jedi help with this, of course. They teach their men how to meditate, how to express themselves, how to deal with their negative feelings and also let them go and not let them fester, and how the clones adopt this part of their conduct as well. Meditation becomes almost mandatory. It's not strictly enforced by the Jedi, but it is enforced by the Commanders and the rest of the men, especially when Shinies come from Kamino.

(Bail and Breha have such a good and healthy way of communicating with each other that by now, when they have disagreements, they are able to work through them by talking about it and expressing their feelings to each other.

And then they have a first bigger disagreement with Fox, and Fox just. Up and leaves. And he goes to sit somewhere by himself and then comes back like it's fine let's carry on whatever else we were doing before this. And he just does this. Every time he is angry or frustrated or otherwise upset he just gets up and leaves because he doesn't know what else to do. He doesn't know what to say. He has to leave because otherwise he doesn't know what he is going to do and that scares him)

[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: language, mild reference to self harm and SA, alcohol

Chapter Eighteen - extra scene

"Thought you weren't drinkin' tonight?" he said to you.

“I changed my mind,” you said and gave him a wink before following Maria and finding two empty stools up against the bar.

Joel ticked his jaw to the side as he watched you leave, finding it difficult to tear his eyes from you. He told himself he was being protective, but he knew deep down there was another reason. A more selfish reason. He watched as you lifted a glass filled with clear liquid to your lips and the wince that followed. It wasn't even sexual, but his body was reacting anyway. He swallowed roughly, trying to control his thoughts while his brother was sitting less than a foot away. Must be the whiskey.

“You got it bad, huh?” Tommy said. Joel expected his tone to be teasing but it was more sympathetic and understanding. He finally pulled his gaze from you to look at his brother, trying to decide how much to confide in him.

“Shit,” Joel said, taking a swig of whiskey. “She’s got me wrapped around her finger.”

Tommy laughed and clapped Joel on the back.

“Yeah, well, it’s about time. Told ya a year ago. I could see it all over your face, even back then.”

Joel winced as he remembered the fight you had, swirling the liquid around in his glass with his wrist.

“I almost fucked it up, Tommy. Thought I did fuck it up, actually,” he took another sip as Tommy leaned back in his chair. “I ran into her the night before my birthday. At a bar. We had both been drinkin’ and I guess it all just boiled over. Had me makin’ out with her outside the bar like I was a goddamn teenager.” Joel laughed softly at the memory, then looked back at you marveling at the string lights hanging above the bar.

“So, what happened?” Tommy pressed, tapping his fingers lightly on the table. Joel sighed.

“Asked her to come home with me, she said no, said she had been drinkin’ too much, which was a good call, and I knew it. But the next day I had this grand plan to get her alone and ask her out properly. Dinner, drinks, whatever she wanted to do,” Joel sighed again and rubbed his face in his hands.

“Right before she was comin’ up to my office, I saw her with some guy in the copy room. Looked like she was flirtin’ with him. Found out later the guy was gay and they were just messin’ around but I fuckin’ yelled at her. I had no right, and I made her cry. Called her a whore,” Joel downed the rest of his whiskey at the memory and Tommy signaled to Seth to bring over two more.

“Jesus, Joel. A whore? That’s harsh,” Tommy said in disbelief.

“I fuckin’ know that,” Joel seethed and his fist clenched. “It was just… the fuckin’ copy room.”

Tommy’s eyes widened in realization, then nodded.

“Right. Shit.”

“Anyway,” Joel continued, nodding his thanks to Seth for the drink and wrapping his hand around the glass. “That’s why she quit. That’s why I was runnin’ down the street after her when shit hit the fan. It was tense for a while, we never talked about it, til we did. Cleared the air and all that.” He took a sip and smiled against the glass as he remembered that night in the house when you finally hashed it all out and admitted your feelings for each other. “Ended up workin’ out, somehow. Don’t know what she sees in me but I ain’t complainin’.”

“Well, brother, you hold onto her for as long as she lets you. I could tell right away. Never saw you this happy in my life, even with Amy.”

Joel cringed at the name, and Tommy laughed.

“Oh, c'mon, it’s been years and I can’t even say her name?”

“There’s more,” Joel groaned, and took a healthy sip from his glass. “Turns out, Amy is alive and well in Kansas City. Found that out the very fuckin’ hard way while back.” Tommy’s jaw dropped.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding me,” he said.

“She’s runnin’ some fucked up community out there, whorin’ out the women to all the men like ration cards. Fuckin’… animals.” Joel squeezed his eyes shut as he rubbed his chest, breathing deep to keep the panic at bay.

Tommy grew silent as he started to connect the dots.

“And you brought her there.” Tommy said it as more of a statement rather than a question, and Joel gave him a tight nod.

“I didn’t know,” he choked out, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to hide the emotion in his face. “This one fucker, he cornered her in a closet, and- and I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there to protect her,” he jabbed his finger aggressively on the table as he stared at Tommy. “I fucked up again, Tommy. I thought she was gonna –“ Joel stopped himself from finishing his sentence, leaning back in the chair and raking his hand through his hair. “I thought I was gonna lose her.”

Tommy exhaled harshly and shook his head, absorbing the heaviness of the conversation and trying to find the right words to soothe his brother.

“But she didn’t, Joel. She’s here, and look at her,” Tommy pointed over to you and Maria at the bar and Joel looked up. Maria must have seen Tommy’s gesture because she caught his eye and you turned around. You looked at him with warmth and a small smile before turning back to Maria.

“She’s fine, Joel. She lived, and she’s happy, isn’t she?” Joel scoffed at the word fine.

“Yeah, took a long time, but she’s comin’ around. I can see the spark in her eyes again, she’s laughin’ and smilin’ all the time, especially since she got here. And Tommy,” Joel reached out a hand to place on his shoulder, blaming the alcohol for making him so uncharacteristically emotional in front of his brother. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for giving her this place.”

Tommy smiled and waved Joel’s hand off his shoulder.

“I didn’t make this place, she did,” he nodded in Maria’s direction, who was engrossed in conversation with you at the bar.

“Yeah, I suppose that's true,” Joel leaned back and took a sip of his drink, deciding it was time to pay Tommy back for all his teasing. “Seems as though you might be wrapped around her finger as well?” Joel raised an eyebrow at Tommy and he smirked.

“We kissed a few times, usually when we were drinkin’ but nothin’ more,” Tommy admitted, focusing on the liquid in his glass.

“Where’s the heartbreaker that used to tear through our office, chasin’ every skirt he saw?” Joel grinned as Tommy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Joel froze briefly when he saw out of the corner of his eye Maria gently lay her hand on top of yours, and he tensed, waiting for you to panic, but he was amazed to see you interlock your fingers with her own.

“I think those days are behind me, brother. She’s the only one I’ve got eyes for. Been that way for too long now,” Tommy admitted, a bit of sadness to his voice that brought Joel’s focus back to his brother.

“What’s the problem, then?” Joel pushed, nudging his knee against Tommy’s under the table.

“Ah, you know. I get a million excuses. Too busy, wants to keep it casual, all that. But for the first time, I don’t want somethin’ casual. I want somethin’ more, you know?”

Joel wanted to tease his brother some more, but he felt for him at that moment, relating all too well to his dilemma.

“Give it some time, she’ll come around. Hell, we got nothin’ but time now,” Joel chuckled, then tried to change the subject. “So anyway, tell me how the hell you ended up in Wyoming when you were supposed to be in California.”

Tommy began to regale Joel with his story about ending up in a QZ and meeting Seth and Maria when he saw you both heading towards his table, your arm slung through hers.

"I'm gonna head back," you told him, your arm still linked with Maria's. "I'm tired."

"Alright, I'll come with you," he said, flattening his palms against the table to stand, but you held your hand out.

"Why don't you stay with Tommy and catch up? Maria can walk me home," you turned to her with a smile that she returned.

He gave you a knowing look and cleared his throat.

"You sure?" he asked, clearly uneasy about you leaving his sight. You nodded.

"One hundred percent. Stay," you told him firmly, and he sat back down in his chair. "Spend time with your brother." Tommy shot you a grateful smile, but you missed it, trying to assure Joel through your gaze. "It's okay," you added softly, and he slowly nodded.

"I won't be long," he promised, and you waved him off.

"Take as much time as you want, I'm just going to fall asleep the minute I get back."

"Alright, then," Joel said, and you tossed him a wave as Maria pulled you towards the door and down the street.

Tommy chuckled as he downed the rest of his whiskey.

“Fall asleep the minute she gets back… doesn’t sound like you’re getting lucky tonight, brother.”

Tommy grabbed the empty glasses to bring to the bar, waving Seth down for another round as Joel groaned, rubbing his face in the palms of his hands.

Chapter Nineteen

Tag list: @chiogarza @sparklejumpropequeen-777 @shotgun-shelby @partyofone3413 @nana90azevedo

[theblueflower05]

Hi! can I request for an omega lo'ak x alpha reader where Y/n wants him to feel good and so he said "you can, by doing this..." where he place her hands on his manhood and started thrusting until he cums with of course lots of groaning and dirty talk.

I am salivating just thinking of this. I just think Lo'ak doesn't use his hands but uses his hips instead whenever he touches himself 🤤

The way that I simp over the thought of the Sully men as Omegas? It’s just? Not healthy at this point lol I am beyond obsessed.

Because like. The moment Omega Lo’ak realizes that you’re his? Oh, it’s on.

It takes a while to get there- his own self doubt sabotages your relationship. He can’t believe it. That you; an Alpha in her prime. A known hunter and expert ikran tamer, wants to be with him.

You tell him you don’t care. About his humanoid deformities or his reckless nature. You just want him.

Smut below the cut. NSFW.

After that it’s on. He’s all fucking over you. He wants you in his lap, or him in yours, at all times.

Lo’ak loves PDA and no one can tell me different.

It’s all; the two of you cuddled close, hand feeding each other meats and fruit at communal dinner and braiding each other’s hair and Lo’ak suckling on the scent gland on your neck at the most inappropriate of times.

BUT.

You still haven’t mated- he’s the son of the Olo’eyktan and Tsahik to be. He deserves a great ceremony and all of the Omiticayan courtship traditions.

He gets huffy with laughter and calls you old school.

You roll your eyes and shove his shoulder- it’s respectful, jerk!

It’s all fine and dandy and he’s gonna let you parade him around and give him presents because it does wonders for his ego-

But the fact that you won’t fuck him?

Oh. Yeah. That has caused many a fight.

“This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard! I’m not even a virgin- and neither are you!” He’d argue, in whispered little hisses. His golden eyes pleading.

You just caress his cheeks, your small thin hands comforting “that’s not the point and you know it, yawne”

He does. You love him, truly. You’re not like the other girls he’d fucked, mindlessly. Desperate for a wet pussy and a tight knot. You want this to mean something, to mean everything.

He just rolls his eyes and wraps his big muscles arms around your slim frame, grumbling into your hair about the injustice of it all.

It’s not like you don’t give him anything. There’s kisses- so many kisses. All of the kisses. Everywhere. Til his mouth is raw, all over his neck and chest- he likes it when you kiss his cock the best. You grin up at him, all canines and amber eyes and worship his shaft in smooches. When you dip under- to get at swollen balls and hole- he always blows.

You touch him almost constantly. Hugs. Hand jobs. Fingering.

And it’s nice. It gets him off. Makes him come until his eyes roll and he screams himself hoarse.

It’s not enough.

You start to pick up on the face. It’s harder to get him to orgasm. Takes longer. He’s struggling to go over the edge-

“Baby” you whisper as you kiss all over his neck. The two of you are naked and sweaty- tucked away, high in the forest trees. On a thick branch. A perch. A hide out of sorts where you can be as loud as you’d like “tell me how to get you off. How to make you feel good”

He can hear the plea in your voice and he sighs. He’s not trying to be difficult, really. He’s not.

But his body needs more.

“I need to be inside of you” he urges and you let out a wounded whine.

That’s not fair.

He knows you want it too.

“Only four more eclipses til the ceremony, Lo. Then you can have my knot” you reassure him, kissing at his cheek and nuzzling it with your own “how else? Tell me what else you want”

He needs to fuck something. His hips twitch and his tender cock aches.

Your hand is already between his sticky thighs, playing with the furled hole between his cheeks-

He grabs it and slides it up until it’s cupping his manhood loosely, his cock in your grip.

You try to mice but he squeezes your wrist in warning “no just keep it there”

You nod, wanting to help him. “Wanna make you feel good”

“You can” he whispers, his breath hot and humid on your ear as he starts to thrust “by doing this”

His hips move- slow at first. A dirty grind. Just enjoying the clutch of your fingers. It’s by no means as wonderful as your pussy will be, but it will just have to do.

The minutes tick on and Lo’ak gets more desperate.

He’s a whining mess. His mouth open, panting out desperate sounds as he fucks your fist. His hips snapping, rhythmless as he looks for release.

“Mhmm, fuck my fist” you instruct him in that melodic voice of yours “does that feel good?”

Lo’ak can barley speak but musters words for you “fuck yeah it does”

“Yeah? You wish that was my pussy instead?” His eyes begin to roll at your vulgar words “wish my knot was squeezing you all tight- that you could shoot your load into my womb?”

Lo’ak shrieks when he comes. High pitched and needy and you eat it all up with a gluttonous chuckle.

Is it hot in here? Or is that just meeeeeee. Ugh.

Not to jinx it but life seems like it’s finally chilling out and I can get back to answering all my horny asks!

[allsadnshit]

healing my relationship with femininity has been so important this past couple years and I think sometimes the way it's talked about can make it so much harder and so shameful for a lot of people to admit they struggle with because there's so much rhetoric about like "are you a girls girl or not?" and like a very black and white cold "girls who don't have girl friends are RED FLAGS! TOXIC! EVIL! TRAITORS" when I think in reality it's such an obvious sign of wounding to not be able to connect with women, whether growing up or in adulthood.

for myself it stems so largely from being raised by a single father and older brother and having my literal connection to women (my mom) severed really traumatically early in life when she passed and to fit in and be included in family things always meant having to sacrifice things I might have liked at the time like tea parties and barbie and being forced to watch action movies and male sports just to get quality time and attention in my home because they never made time for my interests as a young girl and were passively dismissive of them too (never let me pick the music cause I'd play "girlie stuff", never wanting to watch the movies I wanted to see in theaters meaning I also just didn't get to see them, having any feminine interests and hobbies be less celebrated) and it really shaped me.

somewhat naturally there was a glaring disconnect between not just myself and men who I couldn't seem to become communal with even if I shared all the same hobbies which I tried very hard to do like getting into yu gi oh and kung fu, but when I'd be put into situations with all other girls I felt isolated and clumsy because I didn't watch the same movies, didn't know how to do things like cute hair styles or braiding, and was just generally behind and felt much more like an observer than like I had any place in it.

I've always had girl friends but they were often isolated relationships with girls who also struggled with their girl relationships and were otherwise bullied or cast out, and those relationships even though sacred to me also often would become poisoned with jealousy and comparison because society pits women against each other especially growing up it felt like a literal competition and it's so common to be ranked by boys and even other girls and adults in terms of who's prettier or most desired which is really strange to apply to an already vulnerable dynamic in a formative part of life.

Because of a mix of all these bad circumstances I've really rejected myself and a lot of my natural connections to girlhood and women and I think it felt like an easier and safer route to just disconnect entirely which is what I did for most of my life until around the time of the first lock down when I was very privately buying girl clothes for the first time in years and experimenting with the idea that I'd like to allow myself some movement and fluidity with my relationship to gender. It really makes me sad the way so much of society makes us feel we need to do things a certain way or see ourselves a certain way to be living "correctly" when I think it's a very personal journey and being scorned and shamed for what we do or don't do makes us self conscious and unable to act naturally. I've gotten a lot of nasty comments from women who feel it should be easy to connect with women because they have gotten the privilege of healthy relationships with mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and friends and so feel that anyone who hasn't is just toxic and doing it to themselves which I just find extremely unkind and self interested.

and that's part of why I reject terms like "girls girl" even as I lean into healing my relationship to femininity and relationships with women and the social pressures we face. I know that term came about originally with the intention of expressing a relationship to women that was non competitive and based on mutual respect and care, but it's been transformed and used now in a really hatefully isolating way and I do not claim it or the energy towards other women it gives off of not seeing their humanity and flaws as places to grow and be loved through but as a reason to further disengage from.

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT. 19 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

A/N: AHHH babes, we're done with the story!! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read something I put a lot of time and energy into. Hopefully this story met your expectations when you first started reading! It's going to be weird to be done with this story, but don't worry! My (VVD, other Liverpool players as well) requests are definitely open. Please don't hesitate and send me a request if you want. Again thank you so much for reading. Love you all and stay healthy! <3

W/C: 2.878

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

"It is weird, especially since we worked together for three almost four years on the same team." I say, my arms crossed in front of me as I talk to Ten Hag.

He'd pulled me aside after the match, hugging me warmly after noticing me walk back from the team's changing room.

Liverpool had just drawn against Manchester United, a underwhelming game after all of us had grown confidence about winning easily. That was the thing about football, it could go any way- no matter how much you train and prepare.

"We could work together again, if you accept my offer." He says, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I laugh, raising my brows at the sudden comment.

"You know my salary has gotten much higher than when I was at Ajax!" I joke, smile on my face as he laughs.

I could only decline his offer with a joke. In the past when I got a job offer by a rival team than of the one I worked for I didn't really care about the rivalry. It was just work to me. Yes, of course I grew close to players and staff, but it wasn't a factor which I let affect my career choices.

But Liverpool FC was different, nothing close to the bonds I formed in my former work environments. It was a community, a family even. The relationships I had with the players and staff were incomparable to what I had experienced in the past. Adding to this, I didn't really like the vibe the team gave, especially certain players.

So joining a rival team- Manchester United was definitely a 'no' for me.

"If it's you and your expertise- I could easily make sure you'd join our physio team and be paid handsomely."

"Very flattering, but I think-especially now, I'm very happy with my choice."

"Stubborn as always, makes me remember when you insisted the injury time of players could be shortened if we went by your methods."

"I was right every single time though!"

"That's why I'm not going to push this any further. I'm sure you have a good reason."

I feel a sudden presence behind me, turning my head to meet Virgil who had just walked out of the press corner. His expression looking a bit irritated.

"There's our Dutch captain!" Ten Hag exclaims, the men giving each other a handshake and hug.

"Needed to hear what you're convincing my girlfriend to do." He jokes, pearly teeth showing as he smiles.

"Right, my wife told me about you two, you two fit together very well." He compliments, pointing to us.

"Oh how's Bianca? I miss gossiping with her." I say, asking about his wife.

"She's alright, adjusting to life in Manchester still. You know those two didn't stop talking from the second they saw each other until they left each others side." He says to Virgil. 

"Being a baby physio was boring at times!" I shrug, defending myself. Feeling Virgil's arms wrap around my shoulder as he chuckles.

The conversation ends a couple minutes later, Virgil and me getting in my car.

"What did he talk to you about?" He asks as I start the car.

"Old times, tried to convince me to join his team." I laugh, grinning at the thought.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, but I denied. I don't like some of their players- give me weird vibes." I say, glancing at his confused expression.

"You know who I'm talking about, the punchable looking one, he looks like a super villain." I add, focusing on the road.

"The one with the abuse allegations- Antony, like why haven't they thrown the fucker out yet?" I say, voicing my dislike as my grip on the steering wheel gets tighter.

"Isn't a very easy process, but it's definitely overdue." He says, his hand on my thigh as if to calm me down.

"Exactly.."

I reread my sleepily written e-mail to my lawyer for the hundredth time it feels like. Adding a comma here and there as I feel like my screen is fogging and blurring up. I had finally requested a restraining order against the man who broke into my home, the police finally starting to finalize the charges against him at my request.

He'd thankfully confessed about being ordered by Theo to break in. For now, I could only get a restraining order against the intruder, as getting one for Theo wasn't actually possible due to us living in different countries. I was satisfied as long as he could be charged in any way possible. Then I could finally be at peace.

I finally press the 'send' button, sighing as I lean my head back against the bus seat. Alerting Virgil of my annoyance. We'd been returning from the match against Burnley, the last before some time off until the new year.

He grabs my phone out of my hand, shaking his head at my protest. His hand coming to rest on my jaw, and I look at him, trying to make out his expression in the dim lights of the bus.

"Sleep, you've been up since six this morning. It's like nine thirty." He whispered, taking note of the fact that half of the players had already passed out. Journeys on the bus made everyone sleepy, whether it was being tired after an intense match, or the fact that the bus rocked just enough to make you fall asleep.

I feel him guide my head onto his shoulder, his arms wrapping around me as a content sigh leaves his lips. I don't protest, letting my body relax as my eyes grow heavy. Fatigue washing over me as I slip into a peaceful sleep. The last I remember being the feeling of soft kisses on the top of my head.

I’m nudged awake maybe an hour or two later, feeling confused and disoriented as I open my eyes. I'm not in the team bus anymore, but in Virgil's car. My eyes darting around to see that we were parked the driveway of his home.

"What? Where- how did I get here?" I ask, my eyes moving from Virgil's form to the windows. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, not even caring about smudging all my mascara anymore. Probably because it was already smudged.

"I carried you out of the bus into my car, your bag is in the backseat." He says nonchalantly, shrugging as he pulls the keys out of the ignition.

"Seriously? You couldn't wake me up? Instead, you put on a show?" I ask, closing my eyes as I cringe, imaging the situation.

"You sleep like the dead my love." He says, leaning forward to plant a kiss on my forehead before stepping out of the car. I sigh, unbuckling myself before I watch him open my door. Then he goes to collect our bags from the backseat.

"Come on, let's go inside." He ushers, making me step out of the car. I follow him, punching in his code before we both step into the home. I immediately make a beeline to the sofa, throwing myself onto it. A sigh leaving my mouth as I shift to get comfortable, grabbing the cushions to rest my head on them.

"Hey, get up if you sleep again you'll stay awake all night. Your sleep schedule is going get messed up." Virgil says, coming to shake me awake, making me groan in protest.

"I'm just resting my eyes.." I mumble, knowing damn well I'd already be fully asleep if he didn't shake me.

"That's what you say every time, then you fall asleep." He accuses, making me sit up straight.

"Did you pack your suitcase already?" He adds, sitting next to me.

"Of course- but say, do you have any space left in your suitcase?" I ask, my eyes snapping open.

"I do, why? Is yours full- did you exceed the weight limit? We have like 32 kilograms of allowance, are you serious?" He asks, looking at me shocked.

"You see, heels are pretty heavy and you definitely won't bring 32 kilograms right?" I begin, grinning sheepishly at him before he grabs me, shaking me playfully.

"Alright, you can give me some of your stuff."

"Is this good? You don't want it to be too tight on your head." Virgil asks, his hands adjusting the buckle of my pink helmet as I hold his gloves in my hand and support both of the snowboards with my arm.

I raise my hand, fidgeting with the buckle myself, before look at him with a smile.

"Feels alright, here." I say, handing him the gloves. Watching him put them on, my eyes flickering over the white piste. Since we'd wrapped up the last game of 2023, and finished top of the table. The both of us decided to go on a little ski resort trip in eastern France.

"Ready?" He asks, looking at me as he grabs his board.

I nod, starting to follow him.

"Will you help me get up when I fall?"

He looks at me, my reflection starting back at me through his goggles.

"I thought you were a pro?" He asks, showing me his heart-throbbing smile.

"I have experience but not a pro. Last time I skied or snowboarded- I was like twenty-two." I defended myself, jogging slightly to catch up with him.

He hums, starting to look ahead as we walk up to the ski lift.

"Hey, staying close to me will also minimize your change of getting injured." I add.

"Why? Are you the injury prevention whisperer?"

"No, but I can heal them.."

"I can still feel my legs burn. I forgot how much it hurts.." I complain, jumping into the hotel room bed after showering and pulling the blanket on my body. At least dinner was insanely delicious.

"I'm actually freezing." I say, the iron supplements I was prescribed didn't work at all. Definitely because, when I took them in the morning, I'd throw them up an hour later. I had to revisit the doctor for a lower dosage when we got back.

"Getting in bed already?" Virgil asks, turning on the heating before walking up to me.

I yawn as if on cue, lying on my stomach as I feel the bed dip, making me shift towards him. Bringing my hand up to the side of his face. I caress his cheekbone, my cheek squished against the fluffy pillow.

"You had fun right?" He asks, pulling me closer.

"I did, well after the third time I fell on my ass.." I joke, soft chuckle leaving my lips as I trace the top of his lips with my thumb.

"You'll like it more tomorrow, since you got used to the feeling again." He replies, the collar of shirt moving as he shifts, revealing his collarbone.

I don't respond, my thumb hovering over his lip as my eyes flicker to his, the silence of the night surrounding us.

My heart thumps in my chest, eyes roaming on his features as my palm rests on his jaw.

"You know babe-" he begins, making me return my attention back to eyes. Raising my eyebrows slightly as if to urge him to continue.

"-everything you said could be understood as an innuendo."

My face forms to that of disbelief, recalling my words before groaning in annoyance.

"Why- would you ruin the moment like this?" I exclaim, honestly trying hard to contain a laugh, starting to get up, trying to remove my hand off his jaw, but he grabs my wrist again.

He pulls me closer my chest hitting his, placing my hand back on his jaw, peppering soft kisses on my palm as he murmurs soft apologies.

"I had to say it." He chuckles, his hand still holding onto my wrist. His chest vibrating against mine.

A sudden blasting of my ringtone makes me jump slightly, a gasp leaving my lips as my eyes widen.

"Scared the crap out of me.."

I try to get up, remembering I left it on the sofa, but I'm pulled back again. My wrist still in his hold, though not being painful.

"Stay, get it later.." He whispers lowly, voice deeper as he stares it my eyes. I lower my hand, tracing his jawline, hearing him take in a rushed breath. I ghost my fingers on his skin, trailing my hand down to his collarbone before tracing it.

His grip suddenly returns to my wrist, guiding my hand onto his chest, right on top of his heart. The quick heartbeat thumping underneath my palm.

"You're making it hard to resist- you know that?"

"Open the link I sent you? Right now!" Jul shouts through my phone speaker, making me frown in curiosity as I click the link. It taking me to a news article.

"Dutch Billionaire family caught in fraud and embezzlement scheme."

"What the fuck!" I exclaim, my eyes roaming around the article to understand what had happened. Freezing as I see a picture of Theo handcuffed as multiple police officers escort him.

I feel a sudden rush of adrenaline flow through me. I sit up straight from the sofa, unfolding my legs. Blinking at the screen in front of me.

This is was all I needed.

"Would laughing at this be inappropriate?" I ask Jul, switching to FaceTime again as a laugh threatens to fall from my lip.

"Laugh all you want girl, this is the karma you wished for."

"If I was back home in The Netherlands I'd be lighting fireworks with the teenagers of my neighborhood." I laugh, taking a sip of my drink.

It was New Year's Eve, Virgil and me going out to celebrate with the other teammates. Monet and her boyfriend also flying over to celebrate with us. We weren't drinking at all. Or at least Virgil and the rest of the players. Me deciding to not drink for moral support. Drinking did not bring the fun, however company did and it was great. Besides, the ice-cold virgin mojito with Red Bull I was drinking was enough to keep me up all night.

I feel Virgil's hold on my waist tighten, his lips on my shoulder as we both sway to the music in the club.

"This is better though.."

I remove his hands from my waist, turning and facing him as I wrap my arms around his neck instead.

"You know, new years isn't usually a happy time for me. I used to get so sad when the clock ticked twelve, like it made me emotional. I regretted every single thing I did that year. But this time it feels different.." I confess, running my fingers up and down his nape as he kisses my cheek.

"In a good way?" He asks, his thumb holding up my chin.

"Yeah, I feel good. I think I'm finally feeling positive of the year I had. It was definitely rough at times, and you've been amazing support, but I think the changes I've made lead me to the best outcome of my life."

"That is?"

"Moving here, to Liverpool. Joining the club, meeting you.."

"Yeah, I'm a part of that 'best outcome'?"

"Of course you are. I've never said it directly, but you've been the best companion I've made this year. So really, thank you for everything..." I continue, the sweet words falling off my tongue in a delicate manner.

I watch a smug expression form on his face, but his brown eyes are sweet, like dark molasses.

"Could say the exact same thing about you my love. You've been the best doctor, lover and support. Everything I could have ever dreamed of. You're amazing in every single way, I can't even begin to count all the times you've motivated to keep me going." He tells me, his other hand on the small of my back as he leans in to kiss me.

"So sweet." I mumble in between kisses, pulling him closer by his collar. The sudden shout of everybody starting to count from ten making me pull away as I admire the lights flashing. I grab onto Virgil's bigger hand, squeezing it as we all start counting down.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

I hold my breath for a moment, feeling Virgil's hand on my jaw as he pulls me in. Our lips crashing together, the cheering of "happy new year!" loud and clear as our eyes flutter shut. The taste addicting as I reach up to hold onto his bicep. We get lost in the moment, not even pulling away to breathe as we lose ourselves in the sensation.

"Happy New Year, my love."

No, this would be my fresh start.

[crystallinestars]

Hello again, it's been a while! (since the last rants after the homophobia thing haha) I just wanted to send you and all the previous anons much love and support! I also hope that all these discussions will be seen as the humble brainstorming / sharing of experiences and ideas that they are.

As for all that was discussed before (loved the rants btw), I've said it before and I'll say it again: many people don't see stories as carefully woven threads / creative tools made by humans, they see it as tropes and mirrors. I feel like at some point experiencing stories has stopped being about "how do these things connect and what kind of interpretations can you draw from the source?" to become "what does this story says about / how can I make this story about me, myself & I?". And it doesn't help that this take echos one of the most common (but also very cliché ngl) thing that can be said about what a story is (I think we've all heard something like "stories help us learn things about ourselves").

If we go from there, what can you say to someone who sees their reflection in a story without looking or sounding like the "bad guy"? After all, how dare others question one's identity? Surely they must be some kind of puritan evil and a "x-phobe"!

I saw discussions on Twitter saying a few years ago that some people have cannibalized "leftist" jargons so much that they end up sounding like the very conservative they're trying to push back against and now "social justice" in many communities (esp in fandoms) is used as a weapon to police what everyone does in their corner, even if they're not bothering anyone else. It's too bad imo that in the court of social justice and its jargon, bullying and harrassment aren't treated as serious offenses, but I digress 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going back to the "people love tropes" thing, while I find it sad that it often seems they do not see anything beyond these tropes, a huge part of the blame definitely lies with the creators / companies providing this content. I agree with you 1000% that Mihoyo knew what they were doing with Alhaitham and Kaveh, what with how popular the phrase "and they were roommates!" has become. This is also why I hate when fandoms tell people like the bi anon for example that they should just "find other people like them in the community <3", because it essentially means "go be a killjoy somewhere else and spend your time dodging the content you don't want to see". I'm also not a big fan of popular fandom activties (shipping being at the top of the list, even if technically I don't mind hearing people talk about their hcs and interpretations, so long as they do it respectfully) so I understand how restrictive the experience can be.

And finally, the Kaveh situation. Both you and the anon made great points and frankly? Thank you so much for addressing all these things! Nothing irks me more than people going "omg x behaviour / outfit is SOO gay". I know it's supposed to be a facetious little joke originally and I'm also not here to bring justice to the pixels, but after hearing this so many times I'm starting to believe that many people genuinely think that you can identify a person's orientation just by looking at them. What happened to "traditional / straight men should embrace their 'femenine' side"? Idk, I think about this a lot and I've yet to truly gather my thoughts on the subject, but I do feel like this way of going about these things is a slippery slope leading straight into stereotyping territory.

Also, I feel you both when you say you don't think kavetham is a viable ship. It's of course a matter of taste and people are definitely allowed to play with different dynamics (healthy or not). I just think it's also a case of latching onto a trope (opposites attract maybe) and rolling with it. I've been friends with people whose personalities were drastically different from mine, and while it was fulfilling because we were constantly challenged by each other, let me tell you that this constant was also EXHAUSTING, to the point that it sometimes felt like having to walk on eggshells to keep the balance stable. So yeah, while I can see the appeal in a ship like kavetham, I'm not a fan. I could enjoy it if people focused more on the fragility and vulnerability that such a relationship can create, but alas. I suppose top/bottom discouse brings much more instant gratification.

Anyway, I think the girlies here (and all those who wish to join) should form an alliance and keep doing their things away from the drama. I'm really glad that your blog is a safe space to vent and talk about these things 💜

Glad to see you again, Anon! 💚

I never imagined that stating I'm not into BL in my bio would spark so much discussion on the topic of modern fandom culture. Not that I mind since I enjoy talking about these things, but it does make me wonder if there should be a dedicated space for it so everyone can talk about it together. In the meantime, I am more than happy to be a safe space for others to vent their frustrations and share their opinions on the topic 😊

We talked before about how people project themselves onto stories and characters, and you also made a really good addition to this that I haven't thought of before. It does seem like people stopped interpreting stories for their message/idea, and are now using it as a way to validate themselves instead. It makes me wonder what it is about modern Western culture that's pushing people to project so heavily onto entertainment media.

I won't comment too much on political jargon since I am not American, and oftentimes struggle to understand American politics. One thing I have noticed, though, is that a lot of Americans view everything around them through a political lens, even when said thing or person has nothing to do with politics. They jump to conclusions about where on the political spectrum said thing or person lies based on whether it aligns with their views, and then judge it to be either good or bad. No in-between.

And I also agree that the social justice camp has done a 180, and went from promoting equality and acceptance, to now policing everyone who doesn't adhere to their strict views of what is morally correct. It has led to a rejection of equality. I also wonder why these people feel the need to police everyone around them. Are they trying to make up for something deep down?

I am also very thankful to the anon for opening discussion on the issue of people assuming character sexuality based on physical attributes or behaviors. As we talked at length prior, the term "coding" is being thrown around everywhere to justify people's headcanons about characters. We've gone past sliding down the slope of stereotyping, because I've seen people use stereotypes to describe characters, and parade them as proof that the character is gay-coded.

For example, I saw someone say Kaveh is gay-coded because he whines and complains a lot, dresses feminine, and shows no interest in women (Said person also said a lot of other WILD things to try and defend their point. It was one of the most surreal conversations I've ever had). Some of this stereotyping started out as a joke, as you said, but lately it doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

Glad you are also of the opinion that Kaveh and Haitham wouldn't make a good romantic couple! Every time I see someone compile a list of how they're designed as a pair, and therefore meant to be lovers, I want to write a list stating why their personalities wouldn't make them work. Or if they do start dating, then why it would inevitably fall apart. But I digress.

I feel you when you say you've been friends with someone who is your polar opposite, and how difficult it can be. Though I wouldn't even call us friends because we are just too different to understand each other's point of view. It's frustrating and exhausting, for sure, which is why I commend you for being able to keep a friendship going.

Sorry for writing so much. I thought I would write less, but somehow I never can.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us! It's definitely encouraging and vindicating knowing there are others who share our views out there.

[caitlynnrosespn]

My Just Dance Story

So, I know this is SO RANDOM but I wanted to fully share my story for why I love Just Dance and what brought me into this community. I have a long story of why Just Dance means so much to me, so here I am! Oh, and quick TW: I will talk about... a bunch of stuff, so warnings for ab*se (all kinds), body shaming, su*cide, depression, and whatever else I forgot! (Don't worry it's a happy story!! I promise!!)

Dance is always something near and dear to my heart. When I was tiny I would watch dancers on TV and try to mimic them to the best of my ability. I mean, I was there for the Single Ladies dance challenge, meaning I remember the very first dance challenge. I loved to move and express myself, but there were some challenges with that. One, I wasn't allowed to go to dance classes like my sisters were allowed to. I was forced to stay at home at all times, because my dad was abusing me and my sisters and i was the only one without a filter. Two, I was also being sold to men my dad worked with to help pay off bills, and the injuries from that were more clear then the ones from the physical abuse (don't panic- i was drugged the whole time. I don't remember much from that) so my dancing expertise came entirely from whatever I could sneak online (there's a very old video of me doing a cheer-leading routine online, which I will not try to find cuz you can see my dad in the background).

When I was 7, my sister was able to finally tell the right people what was going on and got us out of there. When I tell you I wouldn't be around anymore if it wasn't for her, I'm not being dramatic. My bio dad threatened to kill me on multiple occasions, and I'm sure it was bound to actually happen at some point. I also managed to make the local news, so everyone knew what had happened. But while at a foster house, I first played Just Dance. It was 2012, so I played Just Dance 4. At that time it was just a way for me to have fun with all my sisters before we were permanently separated from each other, but that memory will always be a happy one for me (first ever map was Good Feeling btw).

I was put into a foster home, where I was for 2 years before getting adopted. And while things improved drastically, there were still some issues there. My adopted dad was emotionally abusive, breaking me in a different way. I am a curvy person, and him not understanding that curvy bodies are still healthy, enforced tow eating disorders in me and taught to absolutely torture my body with workouts. He didn't believe I should be a dancer, because, in his words, "no one wants to see you jiggling all that around" and "boys don't like cellulite" (cuz i only danced for boys-obviously.) Others also said that dancing made me a slut. So I quickly gave up my dreams of being a dancer. I became depressed, and soon had to be sent to a psychiatric ward after attempting to take my own life. I was 11.

But I wish that the Just Dance team could have seen the effect that playing Just Dance had on a bunch of depressed teens. Just Dance 4 ironically was the only thing they let us play, but the transformation was visceral. We went from angry, depressed, and terrified teens to a group of lifelong friends, cheering each other on and absolutely killing cheoreos. It was then I realized- I could still dance if I could just have my hands on this game.

So I had a friend who had JD 2015. We loved playing together (my favorite map was Happy- obviously.) But I begged my parents to get me my own JD game. They got me JD 2016, and I loved every second of it. I also at the time was online more, so I grew very fond of dancers like Avery, Of Hugo and Jayden Rodriquez. I also found the official dancers of Just Dance, like Jessy, Mehdhi, and Sarah Magassa. I fell in love with their dance and dreamed of dancing like them one day.

But my dad quickly caught on to my scheme, and shamed me out of playing, even encouraging my siblings to do the same. When that didn't work, he banned the game completely. Heartbroken, and having no time to spare due to musical theater (which my mom thankfully got me into) I once again quite any dreams of being a dancer.

But fast forward to 2022. I kind of still watched stuff about Just Dance, but I was beyond out of the loop. But one day I got home, and my dad had accidentally locked me out of the house. (you make me feeell like I've been locked out of-ok i'm done sorry) So, with two hours to go before my dad came back, I opened YouTube and there it was- The Ubisoft Forward for Just Dance 2023. It had been the day before, so I decided to watch it. Beside the initial confusion (is that Shirley? Why is Jessy blue? Huh?) I was so amazed by the game and fell immediately in love with the game. But I became obsessed when I saw HER.

A curvy coach. Yes, I know she was in other games leading up to this, but I was out of the loop by then. So when I saw a dancer who looked just like me (same hair at this point too!) it just hit me.

What the hell was I doing? Who had the right to tell me what to do with my body? Why was I letting others destroy my dreams, just because they didn't think I was worthy enough of them? Yeah, fuck that.

So I did everything I could to get the game. On launch day I biked 24 miles away from my house to the nearest gamestop to buy the game, lying to my dad and saying I was buying my friend a birthday gift. Honestly, it was one of the best nights of my life, cuz I remember feeling like I was reclaiming myself. I felt free.

And that's what Just Dance means to me. It symbolizes freedom, a new birth. It gives me hope. It is currently helping me reclaim the love for dance that so many people tried to destroy. So thank you to the loving and supporting community, the amazing team, and everyone who has helped me on this journey. From the bottom of my heart, I love you all <3

[mybeautifulwifegojo]

fluffy AU where Sukuna and Yuji are twins sent to an alternative high school after their grandfather dies

Yuji is nonverbal due to trauma and has resorted to the "communication" he and Sukuna had as tiny children, namely, biting. (Sukuna didn't talk until he was like ten and Grandpa was unable to teach them sign language so they had to just. figure shit out.)

Pressure, duration, location, etc determine what each bite means. Bite on the ear/back of head=overstimulated, need to play or fight; painful bite on the arm=angry, annoyed, 'stop doing that right now'; light chewing on the wrist=bored, understimulated, Will Start Causing Problems Soon--you get the idea

Biting Is Not Proper Communication In Social Settings Though. so Yuji has to make do with notes and miming, because of course the school doesn't put the boys in the same homeroom.

Sukuna may be a disagreeable little shit but he is loyal to his brother. So he just decides after a week that he's in Yuji's class, now. He is so very scary even at fifteen that the teachers just. let him.

Their grades are impeccable, but they have Many issues getting along with other people. Sukuna becomes the unofficial king of the school by beating the shit out of the bullies and terrifying the staff; Yuji is a good boy, but he can't speak, and everyone makes fun of him and calls him an animal, which upsets him, which makes him want to bite because that's his only way of communicating, but that makes the other kids call him an animal MORE.

until

they are transferred to the "special education" class

which is taught by two men, Gojo Satoru and Nanami Kento

and of COURSE Yuji likes them both immediately. They treat him like a person!! Gojo-sensei works out an alternative communication system with him, and makes it fun, like it's a game! Nanami-sensei doesn't take Sukuna's shit, but he doesn't take anyone else's shit either! They don't care that Yuji chews his pencils! Yuji is absolutely devoted to his new teachers within a month.

Sukuna hates them both because Yuji loves them. Gojo thinks it's funny to tease him about how he "obviously has a brother complex". Nanami just fuckin ignores Sukuna's posturing.

They are currently being cared for by their older half-brother Choso, who just lost his two full brothers to medical neglect. He is handed two teens with obvious mental distress and goes "Ah. Yes. Perfect. These two will fill the role of 'people I must protect and care for until my dying day' quite nicely." And They Do!!!!!!!

I feel like this one wouldn't have any romance, just a bunch of adults helping kids. Sukuna learns to respect the humanity of others, Yuji processes his trauma safely and comes out the other side alive and healthy (and perhaps a bit prone to biting when the world gets too much), and they are just two brothers who stick by each other even when they're so mad they want to kill each other.

[lost-eternity]

Supernatural Matchup -Closed-

This is a matchup trade with @perseephoneee

TW: Substance abuse (alcohol)

Let me know if I am wrong but.... are you a Dean Winchester girlie by any chance?

Idk that’s the vibes I got from reading over your blurb. 

That being said... I am not sure he is the best fit. 

Mainly because y’alls love languages clash hella. I can’t see Dean enjoying physical displays of affection to any extent (especially if it is public) and validation and compliments from him are exceedingly hard to come by. 

He is more likely to insult you than praise you for.... Anything really. 

You would have to thrive off playful banter and keep a tough exterior because Dean would accidentally just take it way too far. While also being okay with never actually hearing him say things like “I love you”. Or anything that indicates he actually cares. 

So I don’t think this would be a super healthy or satisfying relationship. (Obviously besides the fact that Dean, in of himself, is a flag redder than Mars but sometimes we need to be a bit delusional to fuel the soul). 

So, if not Dean then who? 

Well, without further ado here is your mans.

•──⋅☾CASTIEL ☽��──•

Right so, I knew immediately off the bat it was either going to be Cas or Sam. Both of these men are more sensitive and willing to listen. Both would try to take an interest in the things you like and would not disregard them as fanciful or frivolous (looking at you DEAN). But ultimately I strayed more towards Cas than Sam. 

Cas is clueless. We love him, but it is true. 

That being said, he does try his best. He would not understand wtf you are talking about, but he would delight in the way your eyes light up when you begin to speak about something you are passionate about.

The sheer joy that these topics bring you would be enough for the man to be enamored with what you are saying. 

Just be prepared for a lot of questions. 

Because like I said, he is clueless. 

I chose Cas over Sam mostly for this reason, actually. 

While I am sure Sam would do his best to take an interest in the things you like and listen to you when you speak of them, he is much more grounded. I could see him being “too busy” and not devoting his full enrapt attention to you. So you may end up feeling like he is being dismissive of you.

~

Moreover, you and Castiel are very similar in your self-sacrificing tendencies. Which, I suppose would compound a pre-existing issue. But I also think it means you will take care of each other. 

He would do whatever he can to make sure you are taken care of, even at his own expense. And you would do the same for him in kind. As a result, both of you serve each other in a way that is completely selfless and wholly dedicated. 

Which I think is very sweet. 

But I could see this getting toxic if taken to extremes. So please set boundaries. 

~

Another reason I selected Cas for you. 

You said that you enjoy emotionally unavailable men. 

Well. Here you go. 

As an angel, Castiel expresses very little external emotion. 

Especially earlier-seasons Cas. 

He is very objective and collective. Which, I suppose would make communication easier. But it would be difficult to rile him up about anything. 

I do not think he would get into many fights or disputes for this reason. 

But I could also see it being very frustrating. 

Trying to coax even the smallest amount of emotion out of this man would be like pulling teeth.

Especially if you are already frustrated with him?

Imagine trying to scold him for his recklessness and disregard for his own life on a past hunt and he just stares at you blankly and hits you with the “Okay.” 

Like, dude. 

Some amount of concern for personal safety would be nice????

Also, it is just really hard to argue with someone who agrees with everything you say.

Perhaps most hypocritically, I could see him getting genuinely pressed if you acted with the same disregard for safety. 

Your self-sacrificing nature reflects his and he would not be happy about it. 

Probably would scold you for your disregard for personal safety. 

And if you try to point out the hypocrisy in his argument he will just get even madder. 

Mainly because he cares. Buit does not really know how to express it. 

And he does not care if he dies. 

But losing you?

Somehow, that is so much worse than death. 

~

I also think your feistier side would be so cute with Castiel’s deadpan countenance and inability to grasp sarcasm. 

He would try to learn from you. 

But it would come out like a boomer trying to use Gen Z slang.

And you are all just staring at him like “Oh, hunny. No.” 

I think the two of you would play off each other very well.

Similar to how Dean and Cas do in the show. 

He would not get ANY of your references. 

But that is okay because you will force him to get them.

Please educate this man. 

Although he WILL try to also make references. And it will come out super awkward. 

Again he is trying. 

Many date nights for the two of you would likely consist of movie marathons/netflix binging. As it is your sacred duty to update the funny angel man. 

Just wait until you have to explain to him what a Dashcon Ballpit is 💀

~

Cas strikes me as the type who is silently touch-starved. 

But he would not know what to do with the affection. 

You could run up to him and wrap your arms around him and he just tenses up. 

Not because he does not like it. 

But because he does not understand how to react. 

He eventually learns to crave it and will pout if you don't hug him enough. Not that he’d say this. 

Okay okay but like. Imagine...

~

Castiel hasn’t been doing too great. He carries the weight of a silent storm, his once calm and reserved demeanor eclipsed by shadows of turmoil and despair. His temper is short, his eyes are defocused and cloudy. He hangs around like a mere shadow of his former self, the fading embers of a dying flame drenched in self-doubt. 

And you have no idea how to help him. 

You are biding your time, your lithe fingers flitting across the worn pages of the novel, tracing the well-traveled path of smudged ink. The world beyond your book seems to fade into obscurity. Each word, each sentence, is a lifeline to a reality untainted by the chaos that threatens to consume your life in the real world. 

The clamor of metal against concrete shatters the fragile illusion of peace. Alarm rips through your spine and you immediately spin around, instinctively reaching for one of the blades positioned by the reading table. 

And there he stands, a disparaged silhouette against the threshold of the doorway. Castiel is leaning against the wall, his iconic trench coat stained with a mystery liquid you would rather not question. His usually-tousled brown hair clings damply to his forehead. His eyes are half-lidded and hollow, haunted by specters of a past he can never reclaim. They wrinkle ever so slightly in the corners as he squints against the dim mood lighting of the room. 

The two of you remain there for several moments, merely regarding one another. It is hard to get a reading of the angel’s deadpan visage and your expression is tinged with concern. You open your mouth to speak again but Castiel interrupts. 

"Cas?" you call out, the syllables hanging in the air like an unanswered prayer, but he offers no response.

He awkwardly shuffles forward, his movements hesitant and disjointed, staggering and leaning against the table with a shaky exhale. 

With a trembling hand, he reaches out, his palms are clammy and cold against your wrists. The acrid scent of alcohol bathes your tongue. He pulls your arms up and gently lowers them around his neck then stoops forward, standing there, head hanging. 

Without words, without preamble, you understand.

“You want a hug, don’t you?” 

“Maybe.” 

The words are mumbled so quietly even you can barely pick up on them. 

A frown tugs at the edge of your lips but you do not hesitate. With gentle hands, you enfold him in your embrace. He leans into you, his weary frame finding solace in the warmth of your touch, resting his forehead against your shoulder in silent reverence. 

~

Okay, depression is over. 

But like.

The same thing would apply to kissing. 

He has no idea. 

Not a clue. 

You will have to train him. 

But it works out because he is not about to be upset or offended by it. He will readily take your advice and apply with exuberance. 

Sometimes too much exuberance. 

Either way, it makes him infinitely better than most men. 

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Not fun topic

So I don't want to talk about this out of risk of sounding like an old school "Red Pill" guy from 2015 youtube. But This video annoys the shit out of me. Mostly due to the lack of realization. So before you finish reading this, Please watch the video attached to this:

As a person that's not religious, however who grew up that way, I can pretty much pinpoint the issue here.

The issue isn't that "Men are trash" or "American Men are Trash". The issue is that your "Dream Man" doesn't exist. Between Hallmark, Romantic Comedies, and Modern Feminism. It is pretty much the bog standard that men are "Trash" if you compare them to false norms.

What do I mean? Well let's go OLD SCHOOL for a second. Before the 1950's Marriage was between a man and a woman who actually loved each other. Not whatever the hell it is now MOST of the time. And it was not a vow under the state. It was a vow under GOD. And since most of the west was Christian, they VALUED that binding vow. And contrary to popular belief it's not that people could not get divorced. They could. It was just that there needed to be a valid reason.

That reason could not be, "Oh I thought they were different", or, "They just aren't for me", or any petty bullshit reason. If there was abuse YES you could have the marriage annulled. There were other reasons too but basically you had to TRY to make things work. A judge would order marriage counseling because men and women don't think the same and SOMETIMES they need help to make things work. This was also the reason we had functional homes.

However, after the passing of no fault divorce, the erosion of religion, and the sexual liberation movement, a marriage now a days, (In most cases at least in the west) is nothing more than a civil union only recognized under the state, and is nothing more than glorified dating. And it might be messy to get a divorce but today it's still a super easy process. It's basically meaningless.

Now onto the root of the issue. Contrary to what most liberals will tell you, pair bonding is extremely important to relationships. Sex is extremely important to pair bonding. However, the more you sleep around, the harder and harder it becomes for a person to pair bond at all. You can believe this is a lie but psychology has more or less proven this. So I might hear you say, "Well what about men. They sleep around and they don't get shamed". Actually they do. Most men will tell their friends to stop fooling around and settle down. Because they know it's not a healthy lifestyle to have if you DO plan to ever settle.

And most people contrary to popular belief WILL at some point, want to get married. And WILL want to have kids. That urge might take years but eventually (96% chance) those things will end up on your mind.

The second issue is women's standards for me. And before I get called "Andrew Tate" let me say now that I think the man is a moron that gets a few things right from time to time but doesn't live the life he preaches. I don't like him. However, a point he and MANY people have is that women have stupidly high standards for men. Be honest, but don't be "actually" honest. Communicate openly with me, but don't actually tell me anything that would hurt my feelings. Be vulnerable with me, but also never show any form of anything I can perceive as weakness because I WILL lose any and all respect for you as a "Man". Let me do what I want when I want but also you are only allowed to do what I'M ok with you doing. I can go out with my guy friends, you can't go out with your girl friends. Be charming but also funny, and also serious but not too serious, also be 6ft tall, and I don't want to fool around but actually I do you just have to be hot enough.

Functionally? It's a no win for most men. And what's worse is that these impossible standards are applied at every level at every age. So when there are good men who aren't sleeping around, and are looking for love, you are far to busy trying to "See the world" and "Find yourself" to notice that you and many other women are isolating a lot of these boys. Well guess what? Do you think these boys don't want sex? You think they don't want to see the world? You think they don't want to find themselves?

They do. But how they do it is very different. What's worse, when you tell them "Sorry bitch maybe next time when I'm 40 and looking to settle". They will either be taken because they resolved to stay good. OR they will have become what they've seen you go for. And to be blunt? Most women go for absolute shit heads. I've seen girls I've liked date guys who treat them like utter shit. And they have the nerve to tell me, "Oh well he's nice to me in private". I don't believe that. Because anyone that can disrespect you like that in public probably does worse in private.

Am I saying men are just these cuddly little kittens and puppies just looking for love and there are not bad or stupid men? No. I'm not saying that in the slightest. What I am saying is that a lot of guys forego being actual men, to be fuckbois because they feel like that's their only path to any kind of affection. Combine that with hormones and you have a larger issue at play. Incidentally we've convinced everyone that dating is basically whoever you are sleeping with at the time and that the grass is always greener on the other side. It's not. You just need the resolve to keep your pants on. That goes for guys and girls. Because if you make a person wait for it, and they leave, they never gave a damn in the first place.

I say this as a person that's a lonely f*ck, but have dated a lot. My generation is screwed. Women have their pick of men just in general. As one comedian put it, "The power of the pussy". If you give a man who's even remotely into you a chance 95 times out of 100 he'll take it (Unless he's the emotional/social equivalent to a brick wall).

And look. This is not a rant shitting on women. But a lot of the women in the west pissed off about "Shitty men" need to consider 3 things.

You and people similar to you are likely the cause of the creation of a lot of those bad men.

Men are not these magical mind reading beings that can be that man in your sex novels. Or The Notebook. Or every single Hallmark Movie. And will not meet ALL of your criteria all the time.

Sex isn't love. And if you want to find love sometimes you have to forego sex.

Stop passing up good men. They exist. And they aren't just failsafes for when you've burned through 100's of "much hotter" men and are "ready to settle".

(Lastly. Stop shaming men for having feelings. If you are going to tell a man to show emotion, then stop respecting him, or stop viewing him as masculine for having feelings maybe you need help)

By the same metric. Men. If you want a good woman, be a good man. And honestly? Stop sleeping around. If you have expectations of women you should at least live up to a number of those yourself. If you don't want a woman with a "High body count" maybe you need to keep yours low too. And realize that hopping into bed with a woman won't make her love you. It's the little things. Pay attention and do your best to communicate. Also, do your best to find a girl that isn't obsessed with her phone. I know that's hard today, but you have to try. And don't pass up on a good woman. Meaning don't be afraid to commit. Because if you don't commit, and dump her, that also sets a shit example.

Is all of this a concrete science? Absolutely not. But people are not universal. Everyone is different. Everyone will ALWAYS be different in some ways. And again. Men have their issues too. That's not the point of this post. As I'm speaking more to the video itself. Clearly the woman in it is a man hating feminist. But I've seen people who are not as bad as her make similar points. And I've seen good guys be treated like doormats until they said "Fuck it" and decided to become emotions off completely asshole players. Because they decided. Well if this is what women like, getting laid is probably better than being ignored. I've certainly seen it enough.

So all in all. We are all f*cked. And honestly? We need marriage to mean something again. Dating apps need to f off, and we need to stop being afraid to meet people, hang out, NOT netflix and chill, and go out and do shit. Go on actual dates. Maybe go see a shit movie. Go to the park. Hell bring a laptop and watch a MOVIE in the park. I'm personally going to probably die alone but save yourselves. Don't end up like me. And for sure don't end up like this lady.

Also please understand some things before you decide to reply to this. I'm not a sexist. I'm not a misogynist. Men have their own issues with shit and they are just as messed up sometimes as women. And just like not all women are bad neither are all men. So for the most part, I'm specifically speaking directly towards women like the one in this post. Who WILL still call me names mind you. But this overarching issue is larger than just Men vs Women.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Okay, Other Max and Max. I want to hit them both in the head and then hug them till they feel very loved and enough for everyone. And then take them to therapy. Therapy I tell you.

Max and Other Max fight reminded me of Max and Jaden fight. Which kinda made me miss Jaden too to be honest, because Jaden was way easier to deal with. Max and Other Max, not so much. "You fuck him while I spend every day with him" was what Jaden told Max in IALS so I'm drawing a line of similarity between Jaden and Max and Other Max with Max from IALS (too many men with the name Max). And that's very confusing but also not. Because we know how Other Max feels about the argument. It's the same way Max feels in IALS. And we know how lil Max feels (I'm calling him that because this is getting too confusing). Here's something that is different though and it's pissing me off. In LBAF, Other Max also knows how Max feels. It's literally his past self so if anything he should be more sympathetic. He should be more supportive. Things would be so much different if he could realize that this isn't just about David but it's also about Max. He must remember what he felt like back then. But he doesn't act like it. And if he did, everything would be different. It's not about sharing David for 52 minutes. It's about doing things for him that Max can't. And of course he can't. Other Max doesn't get affected by the things happening. His only concern is David. Max is different. Max has these things happening to him. And he is 30. He is not a powerful warlock who can see the future and fix everything. He is just a 30 year old parent, just like David. He should get to just be 30, like when he wanted to be just 18 in LBAF I I think, and David told him, so let's just be 18 we'll figure out the rest. The fact that he doesn't treat himself that way and Other Max doesn't either is pulling on my last nerve. Putting himself in impossible standards and then feeling like a failure when he naturally can't meet them is impossible. And if he talked to David, you know actually communicate and say "I think Other Max is better at making you happy and taking care of you and you trust him more than me" David would tell him. But he doesn't. He doesn't tell David that. Please tell me he will at some point??

He somehow told Other Max. And if he had reassured him, everything would be different. I mean, he is 730 years old and he still hasn't learned to treat himself with kindness? Someone do somthing about that! So he acted like an ass and now we're screwed. And no, it's not the same thing as Jaden. Other Max was Max and David is his David and he should do better. And he doesn't because no one is harded that Max more than he is and that why Other Max treats him like that. So Max keeps feeling like a failure and instead of processing he uses Other Max as a scapegoat and Other Max keeps completely ignoring the affect he has on Max's personality and character growth. And David, David honestly I don't even know. Max is right, him being angry and expressing his sadness and saying "I'm not fine" is healthy. Something he should do to process and he doesn't. He doesn't process. And if Other Max is the reason, him reassuring David then they're double screwed. Because if Other Max wasn't there then they would both be forced to face their emotions at least. But now they both use him as a scapegoat. And that's really really bad.

All in all I think Other Max being there is screwing up a lot of things and him trying to help will have terrible consequences. And it's making me angry that he's not aware and that he doesn't acknowledge it. And the lack of communication is helping no one.Also, Max and Other Max hurting each other is bad and oh when David finds out we're in for a ride because one thing that will get David mad is Max hurting himself and Other Max kinda is his future self.

This chapter honestly killed me and this whole weird love triangle those three have going on worries me so much that I can't wait for Lucifer to show up (I'm gonna regret saying that, won't I?). You broke me but I love you thank you for this wonderful chapter🩷🌷

PS: Here is a tik tok that I had saved originally because it was like Max for IALS David and Jaden but it also fits Other Max about LBAF Mavid and I don't know how I feel about it now

I was already thinking about LBAF V when I was writing IALS so I can assure you that the parallels are very much intentional (especially the two fights). Someone once asked me if Jaden is Other Max, but we see that it is indeed Max (in IALS) who is actually Other Max. (how my brain keeps up with all of this, I will never know).

I think the whole Other Max not helping Max is a very valid point. Max talks about this too - saying he was excited to meet his future self but Other Max didn't want to hang out with him. I'd like to note that Other Max doesn't hang out with Lance and Arthur either (in the future), only with David. We'll get to that later.

He could be kinder to Max. But I think he doesn't want to be. He has his priorities. If he has to choose between making himself feel better and making David feel better, it's not a choice for him at all. But, having said that, I can also tell you that it is all more complicated than this (can you imagine??).

David will not handle it well, yes. But it depends on when David finds out about it. He won't until the present timeline (LBAF IV epilogue) and it's been a long time and we see David reacting less and less to 'bad things' because he is losing himself slowly.

There is, however, a scene between the three of them that I can't wait for you to read. It's one of those scenes that's very far away but I think about it almost every day sigh.

ALSO THAT TIKTOK THAT WAS HILARIOUS. I ASPIRE TO BE THAT PERSON.

PS - Who says Lucifer already hasn't showed up? :)

[marshmallowprotection]

I. Would like to ask for a (romantic) match-up if that's okay 👁 because I've been into mystic messenger since I was...God, 15? Way back when it first came out. I'm in my early 20's now and once again replaying. These characters will forever hold my heart, I swear.

Okay. I'm not so sure where to start with this? I'm a college student, studying alternative medicine. Wanting to become a business owner in the future. (Herbal medicine, homeopathic medicine, etc.) I started this all because I watched a show one time where the girl was an herbalist, and I was like "wow I wish that was a real job." BUT THEN 5 MIN OF RESEARCH AND IT WAS I WAS MINDBLOWN, anyways so I've been at it for a couple of years, very passionate about it. I love to give my friends and family Herbal remedies to try and stuff, it makes me happy. On top of this, I love crystal healing (like reiki!) And I've been learning a lot of stuff like tarot and palm readings!

I have essentially two sides, pinky where I am my melody in the flesh, and then my kuromi side where I wear more HARDCORE fits (the hard-core in question: dark purple and black sweaters and black mini skirts lol). So just overall very girly. I'd say my main aesthetics are Cottagecore (currently redoing my room in all mushroom and strawberry themes!), fairycore, and then a whole lot of sanrio.

My humor? Awful. Bad. "Unfunny" except I'm actually hilarious. I tend to have a bit of darker humor, and I make a lot of dirty jokes. My friends say I have the humor of a 12 year old boy JAOSKEJDJD SO THERE IS THAT. I'm pretty energetic too!

I'm a writer in my free time, and though I say I like to read, I mainly just read fanfiction. I tend to get these characters I really like and obsess over them extremely for a long time. I get merch of them, I write about them, I stay up for longgg periods of time reading about them. Yeah it's bad, and even when I do one day date someone I ain't giving up my fictional men so they gotta deal, hahaha.

I struggle with explaining and showing my emotions. I grew up in a family where communication was not much of a thing, we either got mad and blew up at each other or gave each other the silent treatment. And I never liked this. Even when I'd cry they would get angry about it, and don't get me wrong they're great parents and I love them dearly, but communication and feelings have just always been hard with them, and therfor awful for me. I try my best though, I really do. And that's why in a relationship I desperately need someone patient and at least decent at communicating. Even when I'm bad. I mean I struggle to hug people and tell them how much I care about them a lot because of how I grew up, but I try so hard!!! I wanna break this cycle and have a healthy relationship!!!

I will add though I do somehow enjoy deep conversations. Like we could be talking about stupid stuff one second and then switch to a talk about our deepest life regrets or talk about just how we think the universe works. I like learning about how others think.

I let people walk all over me, I struggle to say no and I take on a lot more than I can handle sometimes to please other people. Anddd then inevitably burn out and isolate for a while. It's my toxic trait that I also need to work on lol.

But overall I'd say I'm fairly outgoing? I love love to talk and ramble about stuff. I'm not sure how much of this media you know but in case it helps my highest kins are Taiga (from Toradora), and then Hu Tao and Ganyu from genshin HOW I KIN BOTH OF THEM IDK I got two sides. My outside personality: Hu Tao vibe, my inside personality: Ganyu. And then Taiga is just actually so me ive never related to a character so hard. Ignore this part if you don't know the media :3

My love language is gift giving, I love to give people things and make people baked goods and write them things and aaa I just love it. Problem is I hate when people give things to me in return which they often feel like they have to. It just makes me feel bad and awkward to recieve gifts, it's another thing I need to work on. Receiving wise I'd love someone who's love language is....actually?? I'm not so sure?? I'd appreciate any, but I feel like quality time is the most important to me.

I'm a bit adventurous, while I like spending days at home I also like to go places and just explore and have fun. Being cooped up inside too much usually puts me in a depression, as I extremely found out during covid. I like to enjoy places with pretty scenery and nature over cities however, crowds do stress me out and I'm a teensy bit of a germaphobic (I say teensy but it's actually kind of not teensy. An awful habit I have is scrubbing my hands raw so they are always dry and in pain. Ironic for someone studying alt. medicine, huh? WORKING TO OVERCOME THOUGH)

I like to watch anime and play games like honkai impact and genshin impact. I love to cosplay pretty characters and go to conventions, I do tend to dress not so modestly however. Cosplays especially I wear revealing ones. My latest cosplan is Elysia from Honkai, her herrscher outfit specifically. I'm just decently confident(-ish) with my body and I like to show it off sometimes.

I fear this is becoming long so I wrap it up. In a relationship I DO NOT want kids. I do however want and value marriage. I need someone patient with me and understanding, and ideally affectionate? I love to dote on people and be doted on in return. And yeah! That's about all I got! I'm excited to see who my Kait assigned soulmate is, hehe. Whoever you pick I am 1000% gonna redo the route of. (Unless they're routeless, in which case fanfic time.)

I match you with...

Jumin.

Hear me out, that might sound wild given that he might not share all of your values on a surface level. But, you have a lot more in common than you think, and you can learn and grow with each other in a way I imagine would be fruitful. You're the kind of person who wants to do something for the world. You want to see some change in a way that can do more than you'd be doing if you were just another part of the machine. You want people to heal in a way that's right for them, not just physically, but emotionally, as well. You see the value in trying to reach someone from all angles.

That kind of out-of-the-box thinking is what works for Jumin. Do you think he acts in the guise of knowing something? He doesn't. He will travel to new avenues and look for better answers when something is not working anymore. He loves to listen, talk, and designate the best way to make changes for customers and employees. The two of you are best described as problem solvers who need to see something in this world move for the better. That's why you can talk for hours and hours about anything with Jumin. You both value discussion in a way that nobody else understands.

But, what you get with Jumin is someone who really won't push you around. Not just in conversation, but in life. He wants to see you grow to a point where you can say "no". He wants you to look everyone in the eyes and say what you mean. You deserve to be heard. Your voice is valuable. He won't let anyone step on you, not even himself. Sure, he will kick himself for the way he treated you during his route, but he learns, listens, and grows to be the kind of man you deserve.

All and all, your life is Jumin is about the two of you. Your family is the RFA and that's all you need. You both love to take care of each other! It's sweet that you'll have a race to see who can make breakfast first just to surprise the other... races to the kitchen aren't unheard but... let me tell you, Elizabeth beats the two of you there every time. She has the zoomies.

[brandonvaughanpride]

Sermon: "Men's for Men's"

Opening Scripture: Proverbs 27:17 – "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Opening Prayer:

Heavenly Father, we gather today as men seeking to grow in faith, strength, and brotherhood. Guide us in our journey to support one another, to lead with integrity, and to build a community where love, respect, and truth prevail. May Your wisdom fill our hearts as we learn what it means to be men for each other, standing together in Your grace. Amen.

---

Introduction:

Brothers, today we explore what it truly means to be "Men's for Men's." In a world where we often feel pressured to go it alone, God calls us to support, uplift, and sharpen one another. As men, we are stronger together, and our unity can make a profound impact on our families, communities, and the world. Let's dive into ten key principles that can help us live out this calling.

1. Support Each Other:

Scripture teaches us that we are not meant to carry our burdens alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Brothers, we are called to lift each other up. Whether it's through encouragement, advice, or simply being present, your support can make all the difference in a fellow man's life. Let's be intentional in seeking out ways to be there for one another.

2. Embrace Vulnerability:

In a society that often equates masculinity with stoicism, it's crucial to remember that real strength is found in vulnerability. Jesus Himself wept and showed deep emotions (John 11:35). When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create space for deeper connections and healing. Don't be afraid to express your feelings and share your struggles. As men, let's encourage each other to be open and honest, knowing that it's okay not to have it all together.

3. Cultivate Respect:

Respect is the cornerstone of all relationships. Philippians 2:3-4 urges us, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Respect every man, regardless of his background, beliefs, or choices. When we cultivate respect, we lay the foundation for strong, lasting relationships.

4. Lead by Example:

The world needs men who lead with integrity, honesty, and honor. 1 Timothy 4:12 encourages us, "Set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." Whether in your home, workplace, or community, strive to be the kind of man others can look up to. Your actions, more than your words, will inspire those around you.

5. Prioritize Mental Health:

Taking care of our mental health is not a sign of weakness, but of wisdom. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to bring our anxieties to God in prayer, trusting Him for peace. Additionally, seeking help from others—whether through counseling, friendship, or support groups—is a sign of strength. Encourage each other to prioritize mental well-being, knowing that we can't pour from an empty cup.

6. Promote Healthy Competition:

Competition can build character and camaraderie when done with the right spirit. 1 Corinthians 9:24-25 speaks of running the race to win the prize. But remember, it's not just about winning; it's about how we run the race together. Engage in competition that strengthens relationships, builds each other up, and celebrates successes without envy or resentment.

7. Communicate Openly:

Pride can be a barrier to open communication, but James 5:16 tells us to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." Foster an environment where honest communication is welcomed. Don't let fear or pride stop you from talking about important issues or asking for help. Open communication strengthens our bonds and fosters growth.

8. Build Brotherhood:

Psalm 133:1 proclaims, "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" Brotherhood is a powerful force that can change lives. Stand together, support each other’s growth, and create a community where every man feels valued. Our unity as brothers in Christ is a testimony to the world of God's love and grace.

9. Respect Boundaries:

Understanding and respecting the personal boundaries of others is crucial for healthy relationships. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Consent and mutual understanding are the keys to all interactions. Respecting boundaries shows love, consideration, and maturity.

10. Be a Role Model:

Finally, remember that younger men and boys look up to you. 1 Corinthians 11:1 encourages us to "follow [Paul's] example, as [he] follow[s] the example of Christ." Set a positive example through your actions, words, and decisions. Show them what it means to be a true man—one who walks in faith, integrity, and love.

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**Closing**:

Brothers, let us commit to being "Men's for Men's"—to supporting one another, embracing vulnerability, cultivating respect, and leading with integrity. As we walk together in faith, let us build a strong brotherhood that reflects God's love and brings glory to His name.

**Closing Prayer**:

Lord, we thank You for the gift of brotherhood. Help us to live out these principles in our daily lives, to support one another, and to grow stronger together. May our actions reflect Your love, and may our lives be a testimony to Your grace. Guide us as we strive to be men who honor You in all that we do. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

[monsterkong]

The Science of Love: Why Married Couples Stop Having Sex and How to Change It 🔍💑

Introduction

It’s a common complaint among married couples—what happened to our sex life? Over time, it’s natural for the frequency and intensity of sexual activity to decrease. But this isn’t just a matter of routine or losing interest; it’s a complex interplay of biology and psychology. So, what’s really going on, and how can couples bring back the passion? Let’s dive into the science behind it.

The Role of Hormones in Early Relationships

When a couple first gets together, the body’s response is almost like a biological fireworks display. 🎆 Men experience a surge in dopamine, the neurotransmitter that drives motivation and pleasure, along with a boost in testosterone, the hormone responsible for energy and sexual drive. This combination creates the perfect storm for those early passionate feelings and frequent sexual encounters.

Women, too, experience a rise in dopamine, especially when they feel desired and cared for by their partner. This dopamine rush, combined with a sense of safety and affection, triggers an increase in estrogen, which boosts libido and heightens the emotional connection. 💞 It’s a beautiful symphony of chemicals that makes those early days so thrilling.

Why the Sex Slows Down

But as time passes and the relationship settles into a comfortable rhythm, those hormone levels start to normalize. For men, this means a decrease in dopamine and testosterone, leading to less urgency and motivation for sexual activity. It’s not that the desire is gone, but the intensity of that initial drive has diminished. 📉

For women, the drop in dopamine can lead to a decrease in estrogen, which can lower libido and reduce the desire for sexual intimacy. This is a natural progression, but it can leave both partners wondering why things don’t feel the way they did in the beginning.

Married Couples and the Reality of Sex

It’s no secret that many married couples experience a decline in sexual frequency over time. Life’s responsibilities, stress, and the familiarity that comes with long-term relationships can all contribute to this change. But understanding that these shifts are rooted in biology can help couples approach the issue with a more informed and compassionate perspective. 🧠

The Biohack: How to Rekindle Sexual Intimacy

So, what can be done to reignite the sexual connection in a long-term relationship? Here are a few science-backed strategies:

Boost Dopamine Naturally: Engage in activities that increase dopamine production. This could be anything from exercise, which releases endorphins and boosts mood, to trying new experiences together. Novelty is a powerful way to stimulate dopamine and bring back that sense of excitement. 🏃‍♂️🎨

Maintain Physical Affection: Even if sex isn’t happening as often, maintaining physical touch is crucial. Simple acts like holding hands, cuddling, or giving each other massages can help maintain the physical connection and keep those love hormones flowing. 🤗

Create Time for Intimacy: Life gets busy, but making time for intimacy is essential. Schedule regular date nights or private time where you can focus on each other without distractions. This not only strengthens the emotional bond but also creates opportunities for physical closeness. 📅

Talk About Your Needs: Open communication about your sexual needs and desires can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes, just talking about what you want or what’s missing can lead to a deeper connection and a renewed sense of intimacy. Remember, your partner can’t read your mind! 🗣️

Conclusion

Sexual intimacy is a vital part of a healthy relationship, but it’s natural for it to ebb and flow over time. By understanding the biological factors at play and taking proactive steps to reconnect, couples can keep their sex life fulfilling and passionate. The key is to approach these changes with curiosity and compassion, knowing that the bond you share is worth the effort. 💪💖

In the end, love and intimacy are both a journey and an art form. With a little knowledge and a lot of heart, you can keep the flame burning bright for years to come. 🔥✨