#JS Dea

[cyanidecornaceae]

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>=p: H1 GUYS :pppppppp :q=<

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[driaswrld]

But I am not <33 so I shall put more slander!!!!

From ex overworked salaryman into expired dead man :((

You can say he puts dea in death if he was in the dea!!!!

AND HSHSHD NOOO BB I DONT HATE U INFACT ILY VVV MUCH

ALL U DO IS BULLY ME 😤

what if i js,,, ceased to exist,,,

you're being put in ask box timeout for psychotic tendencies rn

[postsofbabel]

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[nnn-lll-nnn]

you’re my tumblr crush, pookie bear 😽😽😽

</>#№Warhanmer5 th#!s js Assassin, SEAD over.¿/></>

</>Assassi#+ this js Wahramm4x, a№#, DEADẞ s out.</>

</>Grid to SuptpeSs; ; ;Juliet Kilo 5-3-5-2-1-6, Grid to Mark Juliet Kilo 5-2-1-2-7-8 over.</>

</>gRid yo Suppress; Julietk ETTEKILO 5-Tree-5-2-1-6, Bhab+¹?ßk;[`[%[wjnA##; ⁵-2-1-2-7-⁸Oq7t outqqqnttt####</>

</>SA6 GaingulM noanN-standard -1 to -20 then +5 to +50, marked smOke on the deck 4 rounds H.E.V.T., C.A.S. T.O.T. 7-0 OvHyner.</>

</>SA6 Gainful, Non-Standard, -1 to -20, then +5 to +50, marked smoke on yhe delc, 4 rounfs H.E.V.T., C.A.S. T.O.T. 7-0,, out.</>

</>M.T.O. Bravo five guns two rounds H.E.V.T., Kilo obe round one guns smoke on the cedK, DEAS cA.S. T.K.Ŧ 7-0 Target Number::Hotel Foxtrot 560772195, over.</>

</>Message to Observer; Bravo, 5 guns 2 rounds H.E.V.T., Kilo one round 1 gun smoke on yhe deCk, S.E.A.D. C.A.S. T.O.T. 7-0, Target Number; Hotel Foxtrot 560772195, out.</>

.#(+2⁷(_>192('!!cavha :"±£✓{¥×~{;*b✓¢™<°<™

...

..

.

</>hOverlors tFAC this is Assassin, over.</>

</>Assassin this is Overlord FAC, send your traffic over.</>

</>Be advised we have a visual on hostile enemy air defence networks, requesting some helpsHelos to provide some Close-in-Fire Support and accomplIsh,,Z xvyhn Some SEAD, how copy so far over?</>

</>sOlid copy on all, send pisitioN over.</>

</>Roger, grids to follow; jUliet Kilo 535216, over.</>

</>Solid copy, Juliet Kilo 535216,Ovrrlord FAC, standby ASssassin...</>

...

...

...

</>Overlord, this is Viper 2-1, flight oshW bzhjià:¢, orbiting east of MSR Juba, tree clicks, at angLrs ten, ordinance to followV;###$$$#######, hiw cOpy dbsbarfvfr over?</>

</>Solid xopy, /break/, be advised I have AssasiN on the ground requesting some SEAD at map Gridß Jukiey Kilo y535216, /break/, I need yiu 5i o u push to IP Whiskey, and engage, how coog?</>

</>oVerlord this is Vioer, rogerS I cop6, we copy all, pusbung to IP WHiskey en route to grid {{JK535216}}, to peovide Assassi nN with their SEAD CAS, out. out.</>

....

</>aSsassin this is Overlord FAC, You have Viper-2-1, flight of two +°№((£[ at Angles tahdngen, pushing to IP wHiskey, how vooy?</>

</>oVerlord FAC this is Assassin, solid copy on all, out.</>

..

</>vIper 2-1 ghis is Assassin, standby for avail flYing information...</>

</></><<vIper standing by ... Absv....</>

</>TOT 7-0, SWAD, Non-#5@ndard, -1 to -20 then +5 to +50, gun taRget liNe 053, immA talk you on, over.</>

...

+#+-#-#-######-

</>wArhammer this is Assassin, good effect, all targets suprpessed, record this Target end of mission. Over.</>

</>Assassin this is Warhammer, good effect, all targets suppressed, record this target end of mission outm.</>

.

[mccarthymolly]

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Tgh love cn be creative new and not stigma ing, thts lk love mixed w the bad stff that's avoidable, h mu ujnouh wt no strss okhmuho nj u hju ko no uh wt h mini uh

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Hmjhjjmukm uni no hmuh yh okhmuh yh hmuh hmuh o khmuh no hmuh

Wt hmkuhojumuhmo nohmk uhhmuh tch hmuh uh dk wt no hmuh uh no wt dk end dk uh cnt yh uh

Sth wt all hlp hmuh no wt hmuh no wt hmuh no hm ku hono ku jhno no uh wt hmk uh okhnoknmuj hmihhno ok wt hmujokhnnuh okhmuhno uh wt uhkhmnouh okhmuhno wt okhmuhno uh okhmuhno uh no okhmuhno uh okhmuhno wt khmo j hh I kjuhhnli wt hmuhno uh j okhmu

Ok smllrd. Abus, wt do,hmuh,no,nohkuh,fdj 0z h h,hwt,ww,o,jj,kuh,no,uh,omg,uh,no,uh,okhmuh,wt,car,uh,no,okhmuh,no,uh,wt,okhmuhnouh,k ok monuh,no,wt,vch,m,ih,n,o,h,

Ok,h,hush,yk,k,

Cn otuer nurse help bc u feel reacting

The experiences. N lf nt btr with it, y force then act hands off while emotions same n thereh,mu,,j.no,lisehzm uh, no,dk,uh,wt,h,mi,h,n,o,uh,wtzh,muh,lf,ww,no,uh,wt,nthng,hmkhmuh,yh,uh,no,yh,push,uh,no,okhmuh,no,yh,uh,m,o,yhuokhnuh,uh,wt,j,o,df chk,okhkuh,dfh,k,i,u okhk, n,o,jm k ijuhjubok,l,o,muuh

Y me, doing the avoidant thing, yh. It's not hands off it's trying to get away defensively, saying we're incompat b nt helping to smn else, n sths,h,mi,h,,uu,uh,no,ww,uh,hm,okhmuh,no,wt,uh,okhmuh,no,no,uh,no,uh,hm,uh,no,uh,sth,mybe,uh,no,wt,uh,okhmuh,no,uh,xmpl,b nt thiso,khmuh,no,wt,uh.

Ok

Lib no n schl nt like thst, y bond by that. U like that, no. Uh. Wt,n,o,h,m,kkhmuh,no,wt,uh,k,o,kn,k,uh, y nt tlelj,m,ij

4. No okhmuh,no,dk,u,hokhmuh,ww,uh,okhmokhmuh,no,uh,wwo,khmuh,no,uh,yh,uh,okhkuh,no,ww,okhmuhnouh,ww,okhmuh,no,uh,yh,uh,okhmuh,wwj ohmuh, ojhmuno,ki,uu h okn,okhmuhnokjmuhkokmnouhkhmouknouhkhmuhno no,yh,

They resis anything n want mk u sffr? My

No,ok,h,m,uh,wt,opo,ww,hwo,k,

Uh wt, in sng,hm,uh,y,h,ok,h,m,i,j,k,hyh,

Npj,k,u,hn,,ouh wt,jkkd,dk o,o, kn u,j,km,kihokuuhokj,,kww,i,kk,

Brand wt n,p,,uh

Nohkiu,okhmuh,no,wt,,

Intrnt n fmly wtno,uh,k,h,m,uh,no,uh,ww,uh,no,

No,ww,no,wt,uh, n he slow so no

Ok. No. Emotional issues. This is this. B can't make others pay for thst. Wrojg to you, b wrong again to them. Dont add to the wrong. Im sorry, idk,honestly, n often can't stop, b this can. Maybe for dignity n relief of knowing u dont , most people are suppressive, n then do more dumb shit, so uh,k,,j,wtjm,o,ij,no u h, hlp wt,okhmuh,yh,uh,ok hm uno,uh,wtzozkhzm,u,j,ouh,no,ih ok nuh,n,o,j,j

No uh arrangement for passive side observ uhkjmuh no wt dk yh o uh uh mybeuh no. Mentioning v encouraging,yhnoh ,wtok hm ujo,wt mkup,y,uh,no,h,k,u,hokhkuh no,wt,nt standupto,ok,j,

Public uh no uh wt nou okhmuh

Okno,uh,n,o,uh,wt,uh,no,uh,wt,uh, prn js bitz photoz, nt act,hk,u,h,no,uh,wt,uj,prob nt b lstn,hmkhmuh,no,uh,wt,uh,nooojk,jj,k,

Ww yy end hmokuh no yh okh jjok

Needs omg mybe uh,okhmuh,wtzuhzhmkhmuh,mybeu,hn,ou,h,okhmuh,wtzo,ko,m,h,u,j

Wa sit gd,no,h,mu,j,no,u,wtzuh,hm,k,hmuh,wt,must,idk,hmu,jokhkuh,no

No,,k,usj

Cant accp hw it is, didnt hlp, uh dripout gsu,j,

Yes hug, b afraid i cd cry or want ir accidental close the crying, that's a pain, b idk, when desire idk, penis what

Gd end dailyo,k j, uj,wt,u,h

Mv in whendoh,m,u,hno,uh,wt,uh,dk

K ye ok no uh nthng uh think or en, wt no okhmuh,bd,uh

Ok no y focusing on efficiency mk worse often n v bad eficient. N ppl do the acting w group not u when act w u when alonr maybe, wt,uh,dk,uh,hen think of others

If ithrs,j,ku,j,j,j

Are pep talks bad bc pep not needed,uh,no,pep is icing maybe n unneeded often, nt nd pep to do ok, uh. Bad sports cul

Ac playing lk group, y u talking abt nato, from where, w wt info, nd be there? ,j,j. Is thst ed or intenser hs n higher learning movie,h,m nok wt y compicstione. Ha i went to extreme, b they went less bc not time? Uh dk, try doing that mode, uh wt dk, editing to what, dont lk,hmkhmuh,end,yh,uh,see, b do is fun b idk, shd see,ww,exp on cam, b idkzjlzih,no,uh,yh,uh,no,uh,w,uhn,o,i

Ok ur not free from responsibility bc it's not ur fault. Ur srill wrong n bad n maybe blame

Ww okhmu,hn,ouh,

[pensfan4lfe2]

Then&Now || Jean-Sebastien Dea

[ehghtyseven]

js dea just casually out here advertising beds now 👀

[epicfandomsaremylife]

Hagelin, Sprong, Oleksiak, Brassard, Sheahan, and now Pearson and J.S Dea. I'm so close to just being done with this team.

Trading away my boys....

This team is becoming almost unrecognizable.

Can we at least keep Bjugstad and McCann? I like them.

[gywnbleidd-archive]

🌻!!

i’m trying to catch the bugs for july but there’s,, there’s too many.. i keep finding scorpions but everytime i see one they jump off the cliffs and or despawn like i haven’t been killed by one yet but i also haven’t squared off with one either?? also there’s so many bettles for july,, why is there so many

send me a 🌻 and i’ll tell you whatever i want!

[sinbinsidney]

THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED

The devils put JSD on waivers… they’re god damn cancelled

[aquagustd]

opposable - JJK | M

↣ You're invited to attend a high society dinner event, everyone is excited to meet your classy boyfriend but there's just one problem: you don't have one. Although your scruffy best friend could help, right?

pairing: zookeeper!jungkook x reader

genre: crack, fluff, smut, angst, bff2l

word count: 7.5K

warnings/tags: fake dating au, childhood friends au, rich!Y/N, sweetheart!JK, inexperienced!Y/N, JK handles the primates, mean coworkers, manhandling, sexual tension, strong language, explicit smut- rough sex, hair pulling, dirty talk, hickeys, scent kink, spanking, spit kink, oral (f & m), face fucking, unprotected sex

a/n: based on a dream I had...

∞

“Could you just come over?”

“Wha-Wait stop it Dea! Oh I’m so sorry sweetheart!”

You roll your eyes, tapping your foot on the tiles impatiently as you pull the phone away from your face to check if he’s still on the line because it’s suddenly too quiet.

“Are you making out with Dea again?”

“What? No! I was feeding her. What do you want?”

“I said that it’s an emergency and I need you to come over.”

There’s some crackling on the line, “my shift ends in ten minutes. See you in a bit.”

“And take a shower before you come over!” You manage to get out before he cuts the call.

You recline in the armchair, shutting you eyes while you wait for your friend’s arrival, sheet mask on, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

It’s so superficial and petty, you know, but you have a reputation to uphold with your colleagues and you just had to lie about your current relationship status. Some of your colleagues are much, much older than you, while the others who are around your age are in long term relationships with sports stars, CEOs of large companies and even actors, while you’re still single. It’s not that you yearn to be in a relationship, you’re quite satisfied with your lifestyle, but you manage to always get caught up in the bitchy drama going on at the office. It doesn’t help that most of your co-workers are women too, constantly competing about anything and everything.

So, when they were all having a discussion in the tearoom about the annual JS party, rambling about their outfits, cars and dates, the question of who you were bringing along was posed. Lie after lie was being spewed, some believed you while others had a sort of, ‘we’ll see’ look on their faces that pissed you off even further, you’re such a convincing liar, yet they didn’t believe you.

Obviously, you didn’t think of the consequences your deception would bring. On Saturday, the will be waiting to meet this farcical person that you conjured up in your mind in a matter of two seconds.

Here you are, sipping on your favorite wine while you wait for Jungkook to come over so you can explain your dilemma. He might have a solution, who are you kidding, he won’t have one. He’ll just be the shoulder you can cry on while you await your doom that is the deriding expressions as you walk into the hall with no man on your arm.

“Jungkook-ssi is here,” your housekeeper, Haneul bows and exits the room while you crack an eye open and peel off the mask to chuck into the bin.

Jungkook stomps in, still in his work clothes and you hold up a finger to halt his step, “did you shower?”

“You said it was an emergency!”

His eyes are large with indignance. You shake your head and point to the stairs, “you know how I feel about your monkey stink. Go shower.”

He huffs, keeping his eyes on you as he walks up the stairs, grumbling about his ‘monkey stink.’

Calling for the Haneul to bring in the snacks, you step out onto the patio, trying to let the fresh breeze ease your nerves as your gown billows around you.

Another ten minutes pass and Jungkook is joining you on the patio, eyes glued to the snacks as he pulls out a chair. You lean forward and sniff the air around him, the only scent reaching your nostrils is your coconut shower gel. Nodding to yourself, you give him a smack on his shoulder.

“Nice and fresh. No monkey stink.”

He rolls his eyes while attacking a piece of cheese, “what was the emergency?”

You sigh dramatically, tossing the slice of pastrami across the table.

“I fucked up.”

“What else is new,” Jungkook shrugs, giggling to himself while you shoot him a glare.

“I fucked up. BIG TIME.”

“How?”

With another sigh, you sit back in your chair and cover your face with your palm, “Imightveliedtoliterallyeveryoneintheofficethatimdatingthisrichandhotguywithhisownbachelorpadandsportscar,” you breathe, a confused sound coming from your best friend.

“I’m sorry,” he tilts his head so his ear is near your face, “I didn’t catch that.”

“I said,” you begin, “I lied to everyone in the office that I’m dating this rich, hot, successful guy and now they all want to see him at the JS party on Saturday!”

He spits out a grape and you scrunch up your nose in disgust.

“You did what now?!”

“I lied, okay?”

He’s blinking at you, laughter bubbling to the surface while you bang your fist on the table.

“Don’t laugh! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

Speaking through his laughter, he grabs your hand to still your fist that’s still banging on the poor table, “how am I supposed to help you?”

“By telling me that everything will be fine,” you sniffle.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but that will hardly be me helping you. This is a big deal.”

Yanking your hand from his hold, you bang your fist on the table again, “you think I don’t know that?!”

“God,” he pins your hand to the table again, “you’re worse than my chimps.”

Your breath is haggard, “do not compare me to your animals!”

“I’m just saying! Will you calm down and let me think?”

“Fine,” you lean back in the chair and fold your arms, watching him as he munches on a cracker.

“I literally don’t know of any ‘rich, hot, successful’ guys that meet your criteria. Most of the hot guys I know work with me at the zoo.”

“Yeah, not a chance. They’ll know it’s a setup! Wait, are you thinking of finding a guy to accompany me on Saturday?”

“Yes. Why? Have anyone in mind?”

“No,” you slump in your chair, sulking while you empty the contents of your glass.

“If only you weren’t such a goddamn snob.”

“I AM NOT A SNOB! How could you say that?!” You’re yelling in his face, “I hang out with you,” your eyes travel up and down his figure and he lets out a shocked gasp.

“Ouch. Okay fine, I worded it wrong. If only you weren’t so goddamn single!”

“You’re single too!”

“Dea is the only woman for me!”

“She’s a fucking orangutan!”

“I don’t care!”

“Jungkook,” you’re closing your eyes, taking two deep inhales to calm yourself lest you beat the man-child up, “I called you over to help, not to insult me like this! You think I don’t know that I’m single? You know I couldn’t even care about all that relationship bullshit, I’m just fine by myself! But those,” you point somewhere behind you, “damn annoying bitches at work think that relationships define who you are.”

“But Y/N,” his voice is much softer this time, “you aren’t the type of person to care about what others think either. You didn’t have to lie.”

“I know,” you fiddle with the belt on your gown, “I know, it’s just, they were like sniggering at me, like they knew that I’m single. Like ‘why are you even asking her who she’s bringing’, you know? I just- It just all came out because I was so mad…”

It’s silent for a while then you add on, voice small, “I wanted to prove them wrong.”

“Hey,” he grabs the seat of his chair and hops a little closer to you so he can wrap his arm around your shoulder, “it’s okay, I’m sorry for being insensitive.”

You play with the strings on his hoodie, “what are we gonna do?”

“Maybe we should find someone that you can take, just for Saturday.”

“But I don’t know of anyone plus it’ll be so embarrassing to explain everything to a stranger.”

He clicks his tongue, “me neither.”

You sit there for a while, face buried in his chest while you think of a plausible solution.

“Wait,” he grips your shoulders and pushes you away from him so you can see the excited look on his face, “what if- what if I pretend to be your hot and rich boyfriend?”

Shaking his hands off your shoulders, you chuckle and reach for your abandoned slice of pastrami, “don’t be ridiculous.”

“Why would it be ridiculous? Just think of it Y/N, I’m hot,” you roll your eyes, “I can pretend to be rich…You know up to your calibre. It’s a perfect plan!”

“I would never date a guy with a man-bun.”

“I’ll cut my hair, clean up, shave, do whatever I need to.”

Your eyes widen, “you’ll actually cut your hair? You’ve been growing it for months.”

“Yeah,” he grabs the ball of hair behind his head, “think it’s about time I chopped it off, plus Dea keeps opening it.”

You groan, “if we’re going through with this, no talk about Dea or any of your zoo animals. You aren’t a zookeeper for that one night!”

“Fine fine,” he holds up his palms, “so what are the rules?”

“Just make it believable,” you shrug.

“That’s all?”

He’s sporting a huge grin, one that makes you doubt this whole thing.

“Why do you look so happy?”

Shrugging, he holds up a breadstick to his mouth, “Just, I’ve never been to a party like that before.”

“You shouldn’t be happy,” you cock an eyebrow, “you should be shivering in your boots, a lot of high profiles are gonna be there.”

“I know, I know.”

“I hope you knowwhat you’re getting into.”

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to!”

“I’m just saying!”

Topping your glass with more wine, you offer it to him, but he shakes his head, “I’ll ask Haneul to contact someone for suits, you can pick one.”

“No,” he’s staring at your garden across the yard, deep in thought, “I’ll get my own suit.”

“The last time I saw you in a suit was high school. I can only picture adult Jungkook wearing hiking gear or uniform.”

“I do not wear hiking gear!”

It’s Saturday morning, and the nerves are eating at you. You asked Jungkook to come over at 6:30PM so that you can go over a few things and assess his outfit for tonight. The party starts at 8PM, you don’t mind being fashionably late.

Jungkook storms into your closet, you think your jaw must be touching the floor.

Black suit adorning his figure, a silky black dress shirt peeks through his blazer. You almost don’t recognize him. You think that he notices your slack-jawed expression because he has a smug grin on his face.

“I- Your- You-“

“You like it?”

He twirls around twice, the blazer swishing as he goes, shiny black oxfords squeaking on your tiles.

“I’m- I almost didn’t recognize you,” you chuckle, your throat suddenly dry.

He bends down so his face is level with yours, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “you said you wanted a hot, rich boyfriend.”

You shove his shoulder, his new cologne filling your nose, your cheeks feeling a little toowarm.

Trying to think of something else to say, you’re at a loss for words each time you look at him, but he spares you the trouble.

“You like my hair?” He flicks the ends of his black strands.

“I thought you said you were cutting it?”

He brushes past you to admire himself in your closet mirror, “I did, it was a lot longer than this, but,” he adjusts his jacket and turns to you, “what do you think?”

“You look- you look good.”

“Thanks, Dea also-“

You fold you arms and cock an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue but he closes his mouth.

“When are you gonna get ready?” He asks instead, sitting on the bench you have placed in the corner of your closet.

You turn to flip through your dresses, tags still intact, “I thought we could match, so I said I’ll check out what you’re wearing first so I can choose a dress.”

Walking over to you, his chest presses into your back, your hands dropping to your sides when his cologne hits you again, your heart starts to pound in your chest. You’ve never had this feeling around Jungkook before, it’s a bit alarming, but you brush it off.

“Wear this one,” he pulls out a black dress, it has one strappy sleeve while the other side is bare, a thigh high slit through the right side.

“This?”

You take it from his hands, holding it front of your body as you walk to the mirror. He comes up behind you, “I think the one-shoulder thing would look good on you.”

Swallowing, you nod, “okay.”

Something glinting in the mirror catches your eye and you spin around to look at Jungkook, instantly regretting it from how he’s towering over you, “you’re wearing your piercing.”

His hand comes up to touch his eyebrow, “yeah, is that okay?”

You shrug, scanning your pairs of shoes to look for a pair that will match your dress, again, he’s behind you, pulling a pair off the shelf and handing it to you, “I like this one.”

He has good taste, you think. Well, he is your best friend.

“Okay.”

You stare at each other for a while, he stands there, hands still tucked in his pockets, you can’t tear your eyes away from his face until your arm begins to ache with the weight of the dress in your hand.

“I need to, uhm, change.”

“Oh,” he strides out of your closet, closing the door behind him while you try to calm your racing heart.

He’s just your best friend, the guy you’ve known since you were kids, the same guy that stuck gum in your hair, the guy who literally calls an orangutan his girlfriend. Why did you have to get nervous around him today, today of all days when you need to play it cool.

An hour and a half later, you’re dressed, hair and makeup done, ready to leave for the party.

Opening the doors of your closet, you see Jungkook sitting on your bed, busy with his phone. When he sees you walking out, his phone slips from his hand and falls between his legs. You bend down to pick it up for him, your hand coming up to hold his knee as you steady yourself. Still crouched down, you hand his phone to him, seeing his eyes flicker to the skin of your thigh exposed through the slit.

Standing up to your full height, you twirl around like he did, only a little slower.

“Do you like it?”

“Ye-“ he clears his throat “-yeah, you look great.”

Giggling, you walk to the mirror near your window and adjust the single sleeve, your gaze travelling to Jungkook who sits behind you, his eyes raking down your back to your ass. Why do you feel the need to make him as flustered as you are around him today?

Reaching behind you, you bring your hair over your shoulder, exposing more of your back to him. You see him lick his lips in the mirror, your breaths becoming a little heavier. Your eyes meet in the reflection, and you spin around, setting a smile on your face.

“Shall we?” You extend your hand to him, and he stands up from the bed, buttoning his blazer then producing his arm for you to hook your hand into.

All the way down the stairs, and out of your house, he’s silent, you are too, not knowing what to say to him when usually, you can’t shut up in each other’s presence.

You’re about to walk to your driveway when you stop to look at him, “we can take one of my cars.”

“Shush,” he holds a finger up to his mouth and you obey, following him further out onto your driveway, your breath hitching when you see the car that’s parked near the gate.

“What the fuck?”

He lets go of your hand and walks to the passenger side, unlocking the car and holding the door open for you, “get in, baby.”

He has a smirk on his face, and you’re rooted to the spot, questions flooding your mind.

“How did you-“

“I hired it,” he shouts so you can hear him, still standing in the same spot where he left you.

“Where in the hell did you hire a matte black Nissan GTR from?”

He chuckles, “don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Get in.”

Tentatively walking over to the car, you ignore the twisting of your stomach at the names he’s calling you, wondering how he managed to hire a car like this, with such a rare finish. He helps hold the train of your dress while you sit in the car, making sure that your seatbelt is on properly then shutting the door. You watch him jog excitedly to the driver’s side, that makes you realize that maybeyou’re a little excited too.

It’s too quiet as he drives, you spare him a glance to see that he has one hand on the gear stick, even though it’s an automatic, while the other holds the steering wheel. Has his side profile always been this gorgeous? You’re suddenly noticing a lot of things about him, the car smells of his cologne. So good.

You want to ask him the name but decide not to. That’d be weird.

His fingers drum on the steering wheel, his eyes flicker to you and you avert your gaze to the road. Feeling incredibly awkward, you pull out your phone to distract yourself. You didn’t think that Jungkook in a suit could have this much of an effect on you. He’s still your goofy best friend.

You notice that you’re nearing the hall, so you direct him through the gate.

“Turn here.”

He follows your instruction and is about to zoom past the entrance only to be stopped by a man with a bowtie.

“Let’s go,” you open the door and step out, the valet driver helps you out of the car.

Jungkook comes up to your side and holds out his arm for you to take like earlier, your palms sweatier than usual.

“Valet?”

“Yeah, just hand him the keys.”

“I don’t want him to scratch the car.”

Speaking through gritted teeth, you tighten your hold on his arm, “this is his job, he knows what he’s doing. Now hand over the keys.”

Hesitantly, Jungkook drops the keys in his open palm, you yank his arm to follow you to the entrance of the hall, giving your name and surname to the guy waiting there then following the crowd of people to the right.

“Fuck.”

“What?” You turn to Jungkook whose eyes search the crowd frantically.

“We didn’t go over the plan.”

Shit. Of course, you got forgot somehow.

“It’s fine, don’t panic,” you pull him into the corner near the restrooms, “you’re anything buta zookeeper, you’re my boyfriend, new boyfriend, we’ve only been dating for a few months. I told you, just make it believable and no monkey talk.”

He nods as you speak.

“Don’t worry,” you dust off his shoulder, “there’s gonna be a small opening show before the actual dinner then will be the time where everyone mingles and whatever. Just. Don’t speak if you don’t have to. I’ll do all the talking if you’re nervous.”

Taking a deep breath, he nods again, “okay, got it,” he gives you a small smile, the kind that takes you back to the nights where you would sit on your parents’ balcony, connecting the stars and making up your own names for your ‘constellations’.

Where do you think you’ll be in ten years?

I don’t know, but as long as we’re still friends, I’ll be happy.

“Hello Y/N,” quickly taking Jungkook’s arm in yours, you turn around to be met with the same sniggering faces from work.

“Hey Areum, Chohee,” you see them openly staring at Jungkook with wide eyes, “this is Jungkook, my boyfriend, the-“

“Investment banker,” you stare up at him but catch yourself before they can take notice of your baffled expression.

They just hum, unabashedly staring Jungkook down while you stand there awkwardly.

“Nice seeing you guys,” you try to walk away from them, but Chohee blocks your path.

“Come sit with us for the show, you can meet my boyfriend too.”

“Sure,” Jungkook beams at them, when they start walking to their seats, you give Jungkook one of your death glares.

‘What’ he mouths but you just shake your head at him and follow them through the aisle. The orange lighting helps you recognize a few of your other colleagues, their eyes bulging out of their heads when they see Jungkook, you tip your chin up proudly.

“Told you I could be your hot boyfriend,” he whispers into your ear once you get seated next to Areum and her boyfriend.

The lights dim and the curtains draw, a stumpy man walks on the stage to thank everyone for coming and announces the name of the performance. A classical song plays through the speakers and the spotlights on the stage bring two ballerinas into view, gracefully breaking into slow and practiced movements.

Glancing to your left, you notice that Chohee isn’t watching the dancers, instead, she has her eyes on you and Jungkook, her boyfriend has his hand on her knee. You look to your right, Jungkook’s mouth is open, in awe of the dancers.

“Jungkook,” you nudge his shoulder.

“Hmm.”

“Put your hand on my leg.”

“What?”

You lean in to whisper in his ear, “put your hand on my leg,” he turns to you, his doe-eyes wide in confusion. You raise your eyebrows and he catches up.

Without so much of a warning, his hand grips your leg, a little too high, specifically mid-thigh, where your slit begins, and you resist the urge to shout at him. He’s kneading your leg, palm rubbing and twisting your flesh. You tilt your head to the side to see Chohee’s eyes now on Jungkook’s hand that continues to attack your thigh.

Smiling to yourself, your gaze returns to the stage.

After a while, you begin to squirm in your seat, his passionate rubbing becomes too much for you, you nudge him again.

“Now you’re fucking hurting me, I’m not one of your gorilla girlfriends. Be gentle.”

His fingers dig into your skin, making you bite down on your lip so you don’t yelp in pain, “is that better?”

Before you can tell him that no, it’s only worse, he’s leaning forward and placing a soft peck on your lips, his hand coming up to push your hair over your shoulder.

You realize that your lips are puckered, and you sit back in your seat, feeling a little hot despite the lack of a sleeve on your dress.

“They were looking,” you jump when his breath hits your ear, “make it believable, right?”

You nod, unable to speak from the sensation that seems to build as the night progresses. You didn’t even realize that the music has been replaced by the loud hum of people speaking around you as they stand from their seats. The show must’ve ended.

Jungkook removes his hand from your thigh, redirecting the warmth to your palm to help you out of your seat. He makes sure to not step on the material of your dress as he follows you out of the aisle.

“Y/N, do join us at our table,” Areum smiles at you and Jungkook. Jungkook looks at you this time, waiting for your answer.

“Okay,” you smile back, thinking that everything is going smoothly so far, you think you can manage for the rest of the evening.

You spot most of your colleagues at the large table, you greet them as you sit, Jungkook bowing next to you.

There’s a basket of rolls on the table and Jungkook reaches over to take one, but you pinch his leg under the table. He retracts his hand, smiling at Mrs. Ahn, one of your older colleagues, then pouts at you.

You lean forward to whisper in his ear, “you have to wait for them to bring in the starters and announce that we can begin eating.”

He throws an arm around the arm back of your chair, smiling down at you while he speaks through gritted teeth, “what a load of bullshit.”

“I know,” you grin, face heating when he kisses your cheek.

“So, Y/N,” Chohee gives you one of her fake smiles, “how long have you two been dating?”

“Three months,” Jungkook says, his eyes drifting to you as he speaks, “we’ve been together for three months, but it feels like a lifetime.”

Mrs. Ahn coos next to you, you blush, busying yourself with opening the napkin. You have been together for what feels like a lifetime, just not as a couple.

“That’s so sweet,” Chohee clears her throat, “my boyfriend Chan here is actually playing the role of an investment banker in his next movie, maybe you can give him some tips?”

Her boyfriend grabs a cup of champagne from a waiter that passes the table.

“It’s a boring job really,” Jungkook chuckles, you nudge him but he’s quick to add, “I don’t even think you need any tips, just sit at your desk all day.”

Everyone at the table laughs, you hear someone say ‘tell me about it’ and you join in too, patting Jungkook’s leg.

“Good one,” you whisper, and he winks at you.

“Jungkook, you drive a real beauty, where did you get the matte finish done?”

“What is this? An interview? Her parents didn’t even ask me such questions when I met them,” he laughs again and the whole table chimes in, barbaric laughter surrounding you.

You pat his thigh again, his signature bunny grin making an appearance, glad to be the center of attention.

“I got the monkeys under control,” he whispers, and you chuckle again, without thinking twice you intertwine your fingers, glad that he accompanied you tonight, you don’t think anyone else would’ve been as smooth as him.

The food is being served and Jungkook is a little shocked at the portion size.

“We can get pizza after this,” you giggle, grabbing your fork and knife to cut off a small piece.

He pinches the meat between two fingers and chucks it in his mouth, it’s too late because Chohee already saw what he did.

“Jungkook,” you yank his arm, “remember your table manners,” you gesture to his fork and knife, his mouth forming a small ‘o.’

After the main course and dessert is served, you hear Jungkook whine from beside you.

“I’m still so hungry,” he whines a little too loud, catching Mrs. Ahn’s attention.

“Me too.”

You and Jungkook look at each other then back at her.

“This tiny crème burly isn’t enough for me.”

“Crème brulee,” you correct.

“Yeah this,” she points to her empty bowl.

“I thought they’ll serve us one chicken each,” Jungkook pouts.

“These JS people are stingy,” she leans in close to you and Jungkook, “they didn’t even give us any rice.”

She snorts, filling her glass with more champagne and downing it in one go.

“Is she one of the annoying bitches?”

“No,” you cough, “shush, she might hear you.”

“I like her.”

You whip your head to stare at him, “she’s married.”

“So? I said I like her, I never said I wanted to date her.”

You feel your heart begin to thump faster in your chest at his tone.

His eyebrow piercing jumps, “why? Are you jealous?”

“What? No,” you reach for your glass, taking a sip to break away from his heated gaze that makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

His hand returns to your thigh, the glass almost slipping from your hand when his fingers travel up your slit.

“They were looking,” his lips brushing your ear.

You both know that no one can see what’s happening under the table, but you don’t question it. Even when he keeps his hand there for the rest of the evening.

“I think we can go home now,” you yawn, walking out of the main hall with Jungkook’s hand in yours, “that’s enough mingling for one night.”

You turn around the corner, heading for the restrooms, “I need to use the restroom.”

“Okay, I’ll get the car,” he kisses your temple, making your heart clench in your chest.

Why did it feel so good to have him pretend to be more than a friend for one night?

Shaking that thought away, your heels click as you walk into the restroom. As soon as you enter, you want to turn around when you see Chohee standing at the sink, but it’s too late because she already saw you.

Trying to be as unnoticeable as possible, you stand on the opposite side of the sink, so you don’t provoke her. You pull out your pressed powder to blot your nose.

But obviously, you aren’t that lucky.

“Had a nice time, Y/N?”

“Yeah…and you?”

“I had a great time,” her high-pitched voice rings in your ears, “it was lovely to get to know your boyfriend. If only everything was true.”

You shove your compact into your bag, “what?”

“Yeah, we all know that your boyfriend is a poser. Is he even your boyfriend? I think you’d have to pay someone like him to actually date you.”

You walk around the sink to stand in front of her, ignoring her words. You can feel the blood rush to your ears.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re so stupid, you know that, did you actually think that no one visits the zoo around here? My real boyfriend recognized your circus boy. Said he took his niece there once.”

Anger coursing through you, you clench your fists, tired of letting them say whatever they want to you.

“Why do you have to be such a bitch?”

She scoffs, “I’m not a bitch, you are, for lying to all of us.”

“I’m not answerable to you about anything that happens in my life. You’re all a bunch of narcissists who make it your duty to tear other people down. If I lied to you, then that’s that. Shut the fuck up and take it. Maybe you should think about the fact that people like you need men for validation, otherwise you’re just a pathetic bitch, right? But I don’t. I know who I am, I might’ve lied but I’m not as fake as you.”

A little breathless, you storm out of the restroom then poke your head through the doorway to say one last thing, her eyes as wide as saucers.

“By the way, he might not be my boyfriend but what we do have is much more authentic than your relationship with that actor.”

You can feel the adrenaline pumping in your veins, tears streaming down your face as you walk out into the cold of the night. You aren’t crying because you’re sad, no, you’re happy because you wanted to do that for a long, long time. You know that your mascara is smeared down your cheeks with your tears. You yank the car door open and sit down with a huff.

“Woah, are you okay?”

The rush still surging through you, you place your palms on Jungkook’s cheeks and smash your lips together, a groan leaving his lips as you tilt your head to push your tongue into his mouth, he tastes sweet, like cream. Separating from him with a loud smack, his chest is heaving, pupils blown, like yours.

“I’m more than okay,” you grin.

He licks his lips, you pull away and put on your seatbelt, the fizzle in your body ebbing away as he drives off.

It’s dead silent in the car and after a few minutes, the reality of the situation hits you.

You’ve just kissed your best friend of fifteen years. What if you read everything wrong, you were faking it for this evening. What if he was so good at pretending that he even faked the tension between the two of you, his touches that went straight to your heart. A lump forms in your throat.

Wordlessly, he enters your driveway and parks the car off, then steps out to open your door for you.

“Give me your heels.”

You look a little confused, “why?”

“Your feet must hurt.”

Ignoring the way your heart beats a little faster at his request, you take off your shoes and hand it to him.

“I don’t want to walk barefoot.”

Silently, he grabs your hips and tosses you over his shoulder, you yelp and start to slam your fists on his back.

“Put me down! Jungkook! I-“

His thumb digs into your ribs, making you giggle.

“Stop it, you know- you know I’m ticklish.”

You can’t stop laughing, legs swinging as he walks up the stairs and into your room.

He throws you onto the bed and you gasp, looking up at him as you lean on your elbows.

“I want you,” he rasps.

You feel your core throb at his words, you notice that your slit has torn up to your bikini line, the black lace of your underwear being exposed.

“Jungkook, I-“

“I know you want me too,” he takes off his blazer and unbuttons his shirt, his toned skin making you salivate.

You’re about to answer but he swoops over you, pressing his body weight onto you as he suckles on your bottom lip, his palms smoothing down your hair.

“Hmmph, Jungkook,” you breathe.

He pulls away, his eyes ravenous, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s just,” you look away, thinking of how to explain to him that you’ve never actually been with someone before. You have, the sex just wasn’t enjoyable for you, the experience was mostly for the guy to enter and cum in the first few seconds. Uncaring about your pleasure.

“I know you aren’t a virgin,” you meet his gaze again, your cheeks burning up.

“Yeah I’m not, it’s just…I don’t like sex.”

“Why?”

“It’s too short and I always have to make myself…cum after,” the imploring look in his eyes making you lose all diffidence.

“Oh baby,” he sits up and yanks your hand, so your chest is pressed to his, his fingers slowly pulling the zipper of your dress down, “no one made you cum before?”

You shake your head and he tsks, a shiver running down the length of your spine when his lips touch the shell of your ear.

“You’re gonna love sex with me.”

You moan when he pulls your earlobe between his teeth, his thick scent fogging your mind, wetness pooling between your legs as he pushes the sleeve of your dress down.

“Just relax, okay, I’ll make you feel good.”

Nodding, you want to jump for joy at his promise.

He gets off the bed and pulls your dress off your body, his lust-filled eyes travelling down the length of your body.

“I always thought you were beautiful, Y/N,” his palms move up your legs, coming to rest on your inner thighs. You bite your lip, seeing his cock strain against his dress pants. He always thought?

He kisses the soft skin there, then in one swift movement, he tucks his hand under your back and flips you over, you groan as his palm digs into your scalp, pressing your face into the bed, your pussy clenching.

“Fuck, you’re soaked, Y/N,” he pulls your hips up so your ass is in line with his crotch, running a finger down your slit, making you hiss, “Do I turn you on this much?”

You whine, pushing your ass back for more of his touch.

“Hmm?”

You realize that he wants an answer, “yes.”

The sound of material tearing reaches your ears, the lace falling down next to you, your pussy being exposed to his warm breath.

“Fuck you smell so good, just wanna-“ he licks a long, hot stripe from your throbbing bud to your slit, making you moan into the covers.

His tongue is merciless, sucking your clit into his mouth, the sound and feeling of him spitting on you making your hole clench uncontrollably. His tongue moves up to swirl around your slit, mixing your juices with his saliva then shoving his tongue into you, his blunt nails digging into your ass cheeks as he massages your walls with his wet muscle, whines of his name leaving your lips from how good it feels, more of your arousal spilling out and coating his tongue.

He adds his thumb to your clit, your fingers holding on to the edge on your bed as you cry out, pushing your hips back against his face as he thrusts his tongue into you, flicking and curling against your walls. It all feels so good, no one has ever made you feel this way before, it feels so much better when he’s working you up to your orgasm instead of your own fingers.

Spitting once more, you feel it drip down your folds before he’s attacking your sopping pussy again, pushing his tongue into you while his thumb rubs your clit. The familiar heat begins to creep up on you.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna cum.”

He hums in answer, landing a smack to your ass that pushes you off the edge, your head tips back in a silent cry, spilling into his mouth, your hips moving back and forth as his tongue works into you, helping you ride out your high. You shiver when his thumb flicks your clit, a whine breaking into the thick air.

Smoothing his hands over your ass, he kisses up your back, his fingers weaving into your hair to pull your head back.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” you feel his clothed cock press between your ass cheeks, your back aching from staying in one position for too long.

“Please.”

“Please what baby?”

He unclips your strapless bra, sitting up to flip you over again, your boobs bouncing on your chest. He leans down to take your nipple into his mouth, his hand coming up to knead the other one, thumb flicking over it. You push your fingers into his hair, opening your eyes to see that he still has his shirt and pants on. He suckles on your nipple, making sounds in the back of his throat as he pulls your other erect bud between his index and ring finger, his middle finger rubbing on it, mewls escaping your lips.

“Jungkook,” you moan, his teeth tugging at your nipple as he looks up at you, the sight making a fresh wave of arousal leak out of you.

He shrugs off his shirt and unzips his pants, pulling it off then throwing it across the room along with his boxer briefs.

Sitting up so your chest is pressed to his, you cover his mouth with yours, moving your lips over his then kissing down his jaw, peppering more all over his neck then taking the skin between your teeth, suckling on it. He groans, purple blooming in each spot you attack.

Kissing down his chest, you look up at him as you suckle on the skin below his navel, your hand coming up to stroke the underside of his thick cock.

He grips your hair and pulls you off the bed, you hiss in pain as he positions you in front of him on your knees. His eyes are half-lidded, his throat being exposed as he tips his head back when you suckle on the head of his cock, the taste of his precum swirling into your mouth as your tongue flicks against his frenulum. Enclosing your lips around the head, you wrap your fingers around the base of his dick and push him into your mouth, your tongue rubbing the underside and pressing into the roof of your mouth.

You place both your palms on his thighs and take him to the back of your throat, gagging once then pulling back to take a gulp of air, earning a string of curses from him.

Holding eye contact with him, you take in his length and hold him at the back of your throat, swallowing once then pulling him out, spit and precum smearing all over your cheeks and chin. He places both his hands on your head, tangling his fingers in your hair as he pushes his hips forward. Sucking your cheeks in, you let him fuck your throat, inhaling through your nostrils as tears begin to paint your cheeks from how hard the tip of his cock is hitting the back of your throat, the expression of pure bliss on his making it all worth it.

“Fuck Y/N, fuck. Letting me fuck your tight throat like this.”

You hum, feeling his cock twitch in your mouth as your tongue presses against his throbbing length, your hand coming up to massage his balls.

“Shit shit, wait,” he pulls out of you but you keep your tongue on the underside of his head, the tip of your tongue flicking the frenulum, he pulls your head back and chuckles, an innocent expression on your face as you look up at him.

“Need to fuck you,” he pulls you up again and pushes you back onto the bed, lips attached to yours, feeling his sticky and hot cock press against your stomach.

Stroking himself, you both watch the way his head slowly disappears into you, your eyes fluttering shut when he bottoms out, groaning as he holds himself up on his elbows.

“You are so fucking tight, baby.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, “fuck me please.”

With another breathless chuckle, he draws his hips back then pounds into you, his hips smacking against yours while your head bumps into your headboard. He puts his hand over the top of your head and sets a slow place, his cock dragging in and out of you while your breath gets knocked out of your lungs when he brushes that sensitive spot inside of you.

His gaze doesn’t waver as he starts to pick up the pace, he sits up and grabs your legs to throw them over his shoulders, the new position allowing for him to hit deeper inside of you, making your eyes roll back, biting down on your lips from how good it feels.

“Let me hear you Y/N.”

He stills for a moment and you take the time to catch your breath, then he’s drilling his cock into you again, relentless with each thrust, your walls clenching around him, the loud squelching telling you how wet you are. His skin is dusted with pink, eyes shut as his cock moves in and out, your ridged walls squeezing him in.

His index and middle finger starts to rub your clit and your back arches off the bed, your moans becoming more high-pitched with each thrust, the pressure building in your abdomen. His fingers rub back and forth, your body spasming as your feel your walls close up around him, your second high of the night making you laugh tiredly.

“Fuuuuuck,” he pulls out of you and you watch him rub his palm over the length of his cock, his fist holding the base as he spills onto your stomach, deep, guttural moans breaking from his chest, your fingers tracing his sweaty abs.

With a loud sigh, he flops down next to you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, “I wanted to do that since forever.”

Your heart rate begins to pick up at his confession, “really?”

“Yes,” he tucks a sweaty strand behind your ear, “can you tell me why you were crying when you came to the car?”

You poke the space between his pecs, “oh, uhm, everyone kind of knows that you work at the zoo. So this was all for nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not really an investment banker.”

You eyes flicker to his face, seeing his lips in a thin line, eyes a little empty.

“I said I don’t care. I told Chohee, which kind of means I told the whole office, that what we have is not as fake as what she has with that actor.”

“You did?”

His eyes sparkle to life, his palm rubbing down your back as he smiles at you.

“Yes, what we have is special and I guess what happened today wasn’t all for nothing.”

Giggling, you run your fingers through his hair, heart bursting with affection for the man in front of you.

“You know that I love you Y/N, I realized that the day you got your first boyfriend.”

Burying your face in his chest, you kiss his collarbone, “more than Dea?”

“What?”

“You love me more than Dea?”

He laughs and pulls you into his arms, your sticky bodies rubbing against each other. You grimace when you feel his cum begin to dry on your stomach.

“Yes, I love you more than Dea.”

He tips your chin up with his index finger to place a sweet, lingering kiss on your lips. One that seems to send shockwaves throughout your body, one that makes you feel like you’ve found the missing piece that you didn’t even notice was lost.

He clears his throat.

“Just don’t tell her that.”

a/n: feedback is appreciated.

⤺Masterlist

taglist: @ggukkieland @moonchild1 @mwitsmejk

[flurty]

NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO GDIFB EJD GNGHEE QUEEN JS DEA DSHEBS FUCKIGN DEANNAOSO JWOO JSOO NWOO NWOO NWOO NWOO SHE'S JFIWNFNW KXWN DJFNFICHSJS YY WNWOO NWOO NWOO YOU WITH TNDJDJDJHE FISHES I HAVE DJJD SJDJDNNWOO NWOOO ARGFBH NWOO

have you got it out of your system now, anon?

[staal-eric-archives]

JS DEA FDHJSKFHJKSDH 1-1

[majorxmaggiexboy]

Finishing up The Grinning Man, 2/2

If the clown doesn’t stop cuddling up to him i’m gonna scream

“The person I feel I can really trust is you, Barkiafahfiughaui” NO BABY NO, NO, UH UH, REWIND, DO-OVER, GO BACK, ABANDON MISSION, TIME OUT, PAUSE, RECONSIDER

MOST IMPORTANTLY, NOPE.

i do think it’s neato how as far as Gwynp knows, he just met this man, who seems to be Basically Nice to him, and that’s enough for him to be like, “I WISH I COULD REPAY YOU YOURE SO KIND WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO ME” oh honey

Dea, love, i’m gonna need you to murder some people. Self-Care.

ohhhhhh boi there’s a family throwdown happening, Dea vs. Ursus. i am. Ready.

also tho for real someone pls help this poor Tired man.

is. is Gwynp one of the folks showing up to the fair? the one with the hood on? bc i swear that’s his Very Particular Voice in there somewhere and i think i recognize those leggies as well. :/

Gwynp’s new outfit is GOOD

Gwynp be like “This is my Emotional Support Crouch”

he’s just. dissociating through the whole wedding.

wait so does the actor just keep his mouth open through the entire play or? how does that work?

“top up, my lord?” “*the word ‘no’ but like, gargled*”

“who said that” *lipstick in my valentino white bag voice* “I DID” daveeeeee

i just realized David’s voice sounds like Segundus from JS&MN and now i don’t know what to. *googles* oh thank god

it’s kind of sweet how when Gwynp starts keeling the hell over, Josiana just rolls with it and follows him down

David it’s really not nice to make Gwynp duel you while he’s all floppy like this i mean  come on man.

I. this slow-mo bit with the window and the wolf and the Dea and the queen being like D: what. What?

i am now faced with a choice between “she arrived like bc she has a sense of flair and style” and “she arrived like that bc Dea shouldn’t be driving”

all that lead up and he’s just like “yep” and throws it on the floor X’D oh the drama! does throwing the medicine on the floor make the previous dose wear off faster? X’D

.........apparently yes.

nOT HIS FACE DAVID YOU INSENSITIVE TROLL

WAS THAT A THROAT SHOT

DAVID

NO

LEAVE HIM ALONE DAVE HE’S TRYING TO COME OUT OF A DISSOCIATIVE EPISODE

Gwynp: *gets straight up murdered* His dad: “I think the hell not. YEET”

ohe muy gud he prancin. tworl that little blade yass boyo

“aM BI DEX TROUS” stop it dave im gonna cry

Gwynp: *getting straight up murdered* Also Gwynp: *uno reverse card*

DAVID. GETTING STABBED. AND JUST. “AH YES I FINALLY GET TO HAVE MY SWORD BACK” A PERFECT RESPONSE TO GETTING STABBED

“perhaps I may live, wahfgahfdgshgs”

y’all. are. sibliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings

oh my god they’re reenacting it again oh no it’s even Worse :O

ursus you rat bastard D’X

holy bats and cats and hopping frogs HOW is he moving like that? what are his bones made of? slinkies?

Dea you were literally an infant with no say in the matter, i’m pretty sure you get a pass on the entire backstory. not your fault babe.

also pls let him finish saying how he made a terrible mistake bc he’s not wrong and actually did mess up pretty bad with the whole confessing his love for u and then just ditching u in the cart without a holy moly word to go be like “aight” with someone else. like that’s genuinely most likely the only wrong thing he’s ever done, at all, in his life, and he should be allowed to apologize for it.

shoutout to the single paper snowflake that landed on Gwynp and is just chilling right in the middle of his cute little jacket waistcoat thingy. nice.

it’s okay Gwynp, you go ahead and forgive Ursus. I will do the job of thinking of him in dulcet tones of “Dude what the HELL” and slapping the “he’s totally culpable for that” button forever.

he kneeling down and doing the hand-holding and the referring to Dea as the woman he loves and THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE

i don’t really understand the phrase “going feral” but the Gwynp/Dea hugs and smooches are happening and. i’m gonna. i already have. Ungodly Screeching.

THEY ADDED. SNUGGLES. TO THE END OF THE KISS. SNUGGLES I TELL YOU.

god that looks like the best hug

Ursus i might fully intend to talk bad about you for the rest of my life but also NO TIRED DAD YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE I FORBID IT

so who gets custody of Mojo

are they walking ON the audience???

this ending music is sick and i want it played at my funeral

i guess the kids got custody of Mojo

[peterkka]

first line center js dea i feel like this is a nightmare

[pensfan4lfe2]

Then&Now || Jean-Sebastien Dea