#JOKING. obviously. i can joke about this cis people you can't

[jabeur]

mh

[ventbloglite]

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

[kiyo-cant-write]

Hey pookie! Ur writing is so good!! Anyway, I need more Ruggie in my life! Poor baby doesn’t get enough love!!😖

Can I get Ruggie with a female reader who is constantly spoiling him and giving him so much love and kisses and he feels insecure because he can’t give her much in return but she comforts him by saying that she just wants him to be safe and happy!🥹

Love ya pookie!🫶 /p

ruggie shares insecurities w/ loving female s/o ✧･ﾟ

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Hi Muffin!! Thank you so much for requesting!

I tried my best and I hope you like it! Ruggie is such a cute and silly little guy >w< I had to add Leona in for the plot and I hope that's okay!! It became longer by accident and a little more sad at first than I planned-

Oops.

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Summary: [Name] is the s/o of Ruggie Bucchi. She is one of the most loving people in the world, especially to him. However, sometimes that love makes Ruggie feel like it is too much to ever dream of returning... Especially for someone like him. How could he do it?

TW/CW: Hurt/Comfort

Notes: established relationship, femme reader, she/her pronouns for the reader, the reader could be cis or trans, the reader is written as Yuu/Prefect of Ramshackle, explicitly post-Book 3, girl-dad coded Leona

Guest Stars: Leona Kingscholar

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie is more insecure than he lets on with his comedic front.

He laughs and makes jokes about his situation and his relationship with Housewarden Leona Kingscholar...

But deep down he knows that there are people better off than him both in the overarching world and at Night Raven's campus.

Ruggie isn't the type to get bogged down by much but this gets him all bent out of shape in the worst of ways.

From the moment he begins having these doubts, he knows he has to talk to [Name] about them.

It's not fair to her to keep it a secret but he doesn't know what to say or how to bring it up. He can't ask Leona, that would be weird. Also, he feels like Leona would tell him to get over it.

What results is Ruggie being "weird" about it for a day or two before [Name], with some unexpected help, asks him what is wrong, and then he caves.

He doesn't want to make her upset. That's the last thing he wants.

Ruggie ends up pouring his soul out to [Name].

It seems almost unlike him but it's his genuine feelings.

[Name] reassures Ruggie that he is the one she loves and that being able to provide him support is something she is proud to do.

Ruggie can be a bit simple and as quickly as it all begins, his anxiety is calmed by those words alone. He trusts her.

If [Name] says she doesn't mind, that he is enough and he is doing enough for her... Ruggie believes her.

Wait how did she find him in his super secret hiding spot???!!

Ruggie totally wasn't hiding from [Name]. He didn't want to go see her. He wanted to hide here for a while, maybe even forever! That was his plan. He just couldn't face her. She was obviously way too good for him. She was sweet and loving... She supported him.

Could he return that? Could he give her everything she deserved?

The hyena wasn't sure and that was what scared him the most. The thought of not being help to help her, to be there for her... hurt him. His magic wasn't strong. his UM was even laughable at times.. He could make use of what he had but he didn't know.

Was it something that could protect her? Truly?

Maybe she would be better off with someone older, stronger... Like Leona. What was better than a damned rich old prince? Huh??

It made Ruggie feel a bit nauseous, the thought that his love would be better off with another man... But what if there was a better man? Then she should be with him and not some hyena off the streets.

She was probably considering her options now that he wasn't with her. Good for her, though, Ruggie thought. Make the most of things. That was what he had learned. You climb the ranks that way. Yeah?

But it made him feel better somehow.

At least she would get to be happy...

Meanwhile, [Name] was having the single strangest interaction of her young life. She had found herself alone for lunch with her friends each pursuing their own endeavors. She usually ate with Ruggie. But where was he? He hadn't spoken to her in days. Perhaps that was why she was in the botanical garden trying to keep herself together.

In the end, she felt the tears well up in her eyes from the frustration of it all. Ruggie was avoiding her, her friends were busy. What was she supposed to do? Did she need to apologize? She never meant to cause Ruggie any trouble! She loved him with all her young heart.

"You shouldn't be all sad like this, it's weird," a low voice said from above her crying form, "Try to be the same annoying little shit you always are, huh? Or are you a crybaby?"

She recognized that voice but it surprised her nonetheless.

"Leona-senpai?" she asked, turning around to see the housewarden who was much older than the rest of the student body, "Why?"

"You were making too much noise for anybody to sleep."

Leona sounded a tad miffed, but when she looked at him, he didn't seem nearly as upset as she had expected. Rather, with a tired expression and hand rubbing at the nape of his neck... Dare she say he seemed worried.

The girl sniffled as she looked up at his taller form, even crouching down to her level as he was, Leona was not small.

"Sorry for disturbing your sleep again, Leona-senpai."

"S'not as bad as when you wanted my help with octopunk."

"Oh... Sorry about that too."

Even if it worked, she was pretty sure that it had been grating on the ears as that had been... more or less, the point.

"Stop apologizing. Why are you alone?" Leona asked her, "Loverboy doesn't usually let you eat alone much less cryin' while you do."

"Ruggie..." she managed to say and a few more tears slipped out.

Leona's expression said that this was second only to dealing with Cheka but he persevered, awkwardly (and a bit roughly) patting the small human on the shoulder as he tried to get her to stop crying.

A few minutes passed as she slowed her reaction and explained the situation. Ruggie was avoiding her. She couldn't find him anywhere!

Listening, Leona wanted to shank Ruggie for any of a whole plethora of reasons. Talk about immature for all Ruggie claimed about being "more mature" than his housewarden. The lion beastman sighed.

"[Name]. Behind the main building."

"What?"

She hadn't expected him to say that and have a sideways look that made Leona growl slightly and repeat his statement with one new piece of information for her. He felt it was more than generous.

"Behind the main building, go. Woods."

"Are you just," she sniffed halfway through, "That eager to get away from me to sleep, senpai?"

This girl. Was she for real?

Leona had to admit she annoyed him nearly as much as Cheka did. Even if he was endeared to Ruggie's lover, there were several reasons she was Ruggie's lover and not his. Reason #1 is that [Name] was still a kid in more ways than age.

"Use your head," Leona told her, brows knit slightly.

She thought about it.

"Huh?? Ruggie's in the woods behind the main building??"

"Wow, so smart for a little herbivore," he commented with full intention to be a bit condescending towards her, "Go."

"Thanks, Leona-senpai!" she told him as she jumped to hug him.

He did not return the hug, keeping his arms crossed over his chest.

"Whatever," he replied, "Quit being all mopey and down."

"Okay!" she agreed, letting him go and bolting from the garden.

That girl sure is something, Leona thought.

Don't fuck it up, Ruggie.

Approximately five minutes later, [Name] saw the head of golden hair belonging to her beloved boyfriend. She skidded to a stop next to him. Maybe she should have walked? But lunch was only so long.

"RUGGIE!!" she cried when she reached him, out of breath.

The hyena almost jumped out of his skin.

"[NAME]??! WHADDAYA DOING HERE?" he asked her.

How did she know he was here? Did he tell her? NO!!

"What are you doing here? You've been gone for days."

"I..."

It was Ruggie's turn to look a bit ashamed. He didn't want to upset her or make her come searching for him. She was out of breath and seemed stressed. Was it all his fault? His ears went back.

"Ruggie?"

She didn't understand why his face had that kind of expression.

"I'm sorry all I do is cause you trouble, [Name]..." he told her.

"...What?" [Name] started to ask but Ruggie kept talking.

"I know you're like this super amazing loving person and I'm just some hyena off the streets who hoards the end-of-semester food from the cafeteria and tried to rob Leona one time, but I want to be enough for you."

Ruggie tried to rob Leona?

That distracted her from her own upset earlier. How did that work? Did Leona forgive him? Did he get any prince-quality goods?

No, no. Focus, [Name]. You can ask about that later.

"Aw, Ruggie. You're plenty enough," she told him, coming closer to him and pulling him into a hug, "I love you so much. I've missed you these last couple of days, you know."

Ruggie let out a soft purr he didn't mean to when she held him like this, pressing a few gentle kisses to his cheek if only to prove her point. She loved him. She loved him? Not a real prince, like Leona, or one of those frilly, sparkly, princely types from Pomefiore?

"You..."

"I really really mean it!" [Name] continued, holding his face in her hands and staring at him in a way that had him grasping at strands to still pretend she saw him as anything other than her love, "As long as you're happy and safe in every sense of the words... Then... That's enough for me."

"I love you too, [Nickname]," Ruggie returned a second later, cheeky green returning as his ears no longer laid flat against his head.

Their embrace was warmer now as they made up for the last few days, neither of them wanting to let the other one go just yet. [Name] continued to pepper his face with kisses, some if not most of which Ruggie returned with equal affection.

A few minutes passed and the sound of bells alerted students to the end of lunch. The young couple exchanged looks as it dawned on them.

"Ahh... I think we're about to be late for classes," [Name] pointed out.

"Shit."

Sprinting ensued.

"How did you find me anyway?" Ruggie asked on the way.

"Uh. Woman's intuition?"

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Imagine the rest for yourself~

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^

[validdisaster]

I Probably Won't Watch MisMag, But I Think I'm Glad It Exists?

I don't know if this is a valid feeling or some kind of misplaced trauma reaction, but when I hear American leftists/liberals joking about jkr or performing reparative or critical versions of Harry Potter, I sometimes feel a deep... I dunno, unease? I could be wrong, but I'm not sure a lot of international people really understand the kind of grip she has on the UK.

This is a country where transgender people were banned from the panels and review boards for the 2024 Cass Report that would define how trans children were treated in schools, the healthcare they have access to, and the support they have, then gave recommendations that will pave the way for making it more challenging for trans people as a whole to move through society with general dignity, respect, and essential medical care. Meanwhile, the new (leftwing) prime minister, who has refused to make any declarative claim about his beliefs on transgender people, made special time for a meeting with jkr in a bid for votes just a few weeks before the election to assure her he would do basically whatever she said to 'support women and girls' (whatever that means to a woman who has designated herself the arbiter of who is 'too masculine' for girlhood). Now, I'll be honest, that was before her descent into minor Holocaust denial and the Olympics bollocks, but long after she started paling around with people in far-right white supremacist circles. Her voice was considered more important than any medical professional who happens to be trans.

Personally, (and this is just my anecdotal experience) I've had family members, colleagues and even an ex-partner parrot lines almost word-for-word from her essay as an excuse to get away with some pretty nasty behaviour, despite never having read it and not knowing where that was where it came from - that's how much she has permeated British society. I have a difficult, strained, or nonexistent relationship with people who meant a whole lot to me and I don't know if that would still be true if J K Rowling hadn't decided to go off one day. People hurt me who might not have. She's able to use the fact that she's the writer of the Harry Potter books as a kind of cover to gain this legitimacy that lets people hand-wave away or not look closer at some of the most unambiguously bad stuff you can do and say. Again, I do have to say, I'm from a not-very-liberal area and the work I do is mostly manufacturing or call centre (so full of not-very-liberal people). Idk if other parts of the UK are different, but I sure as shit can't afford to live in them.

This might be a personal despair that I need to work through, but I'm just not sure any reparative stories set in echoes of Hogwarts can possibly do any good. She's still here, she's still hurting us, she still has more of a voice in British politics and discourse than the rest of us working together can possibly muster and her past seems like more of a shield to the bad things she's currently doing than something that can be reimagined correctively.

To be fully clear, I'm not criticising the mismag crew here, and I'm not criticising international folks (trans or cis) for not knowing the detailed minutia of what's going on in my very unimportant neck of the woods. I'm just trying to work through my feelings about a person who's done a lot of demonstrable harm to me and mine, and the kind of casualness that I feel like her impact gets treated with sometimes.

I get the sense that a lot of (particularly cis or non-british) leftwing circles treat her like such an obviously-bad punchline gremlin that they forget she's still a bogeyman to some of us, I'm still scared of what she'll do next. And it's weird to see people having fun in the funhouse-mirror version of her passion project. Maybe it's jealousy. I loved Harry Potter and Hogwarts for a long time. Maybe I just miss feeling safe there.

I hope there will be a day I feel safe enough to laugh about her. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that other people are there already?

[gaycrashbandicoot]

there is a subreddit (on reddit lol) called r/ftmpassing and trans guys post pictures on it to see if they pass* and people on there are very brutally honest about the pictures. which is like obviously fine bcs there's no point asking ppl if u pass if ur worried about not passing and they don't tell you the truth. HOWEVER I know for certain some ppl who post on there think they pass or are expecting to be validated and then they are upset they are told they aren't passing and told exactly why and it isn't necessarily something they can change.

like passing is such a changable thing depending on the culture you live in and also your body moves differently in real life than in pictures like I've met trans guys who passed in pictures but didn't pass in real life or vice versa like someone seeing the way u move and speak definitely effects how you pass and I know the people in the comments are working with what they have but I think it's a very American centric view of passing first of all like if u pass in America you won't necessarily pass everywhere and vice versa. and also given that they don't have the full information about ur mannerisms and your body in motion they are very brutal with their comments.

like me personally I pass as a cis man 100% of the time even pre T I passed 50 - 60% of the time and I'm not even genetically gifted, I live near an open minded area which helps and also pre t the main ppl who misgendered me were old ladies. and now I know I pass I'm never misgendered or having my gender questioned in public spaces like i used to and I even pass to trans people who often don't believe me when I tell them I'm trans and I've genuinely been asked over and over again if I'm joking or actually trans by trans people I meet and told I pass really well. but I reckon if I put a picture on that subreddit I would be told I don't pass because I don't look how you expect a passing trans man to look also I think I pass more irl than in pictures bcs I have masculine mannerisms which helps.

idk I just understand the point of the sub but I hope the ppl recieving the comments know that it is very subjective and they don't necessarily have to change the things they are told to bcs they might pass! and ppl on reddit are not the arbiter of ur passing capabilities.

*(and I'm actually not criticising this as a concept I know there is discourse about passing in the trans community but I think that "passing isn't everyone's goal of transitioning and it's absolutely fine if trans ppl can't or don't want to pass" and "passing can lead to safety and comfort and is some ppls trans goal so it's okay to want that" are two statements that can coexist)

[salarta]

Now that I've been banned over a tame joke on CBR, I might be making more posts over here on Tumblr. This is one such post.

I usually, deliberately, do not post stuff about the current X-Factor book. Why? Because it's trash. And the current X-Men senior editor, Tom Brevoort, has previously said that he thinks being a colossal asshole is "good for business" because it gets people talking.

Of course, that's just him trying to make excuses for being an asshole, just like he tried to make excuses for why Polaris "couldn't" be Magneto's daughter. But I digress.

The reason I'm bringing it up now, though, is pretty simple.

He fucked up. Hard. And not only does he know it, but he's trying to change the subject away from his fuckup.

This past Wednesday, Marvel released X-Factor #2. If you're going to read it, do so by pirating. Or not at all. Because any purchase for any reason gives the false impression that they should keep doing what they're doing.

In this week's issue, the "Polaris" in the story wasn't just bad. Wasn't just 90s nostalgia bad. It was the most blatant display of nostalgia for regressive sexism toward Lorna in decades. It was bad enough that it would've skated on thin ice even before Lorna surviving the Genoshan genocide.

The basic summary of all I've seen is this.

Story forces Havok x Polaris trash just because of nostalgia. Lorna acts all submissive and needy around Havok, like she desperately wants his approval and involvement in her life. Havok comes with her to a Mutant Underground meeting, but only to spy on them, and Lorna somehow (brain worms tiem) doesn't notice he's wearing a button cam. Despite, you know. Her powers.

For some reason, and by some reason I mean "nostalgia for an attitude that Lorna is a nobody character," Lorna is just a rando in the Mutant Underground surrounded by other randos. Even though she's a survivor of the Genoshan genocide, and had trashed Orchis' space station basically days prior in comics time, she's treated as just a random nobody in the group. And when Mutant Underground realized Havok was wearing a camera, they took Lorna hostage - without a fight from her - with implication that they might kill her due to his actions.

.............

If you're wondering how it makes sense, it doesn't. This isn't Lorna. It's Brevoort's shitty fanfic idea of Lorna as a nobody character whose only value is to promote his favorite straight cis Aryan male, Havok.

Obviously, because we're not living in the sexist late 60s and 70s, this treatment of her has been universally panned. Even by people who want to support the book. The few people trying to defend it, do so under the guise of "lol it's a parody so it's perfectly fine," but that shit's been getting shut down fast by pointing out that parody isn't an excuse for some things. Like this.

This is where the biggest reason for my post comes in.

Yesterday, literally one day after releasing X-Factor #2, Marvel used their favorite sycophant fan site to release an "exclusive preview" of X-Factor #3... a whole ass month in advance. Unlike the last two previews that emphasized Havolaris shit, this preview didn't include the Havolaris shit. It focused on Havok and Friends.

Anyone who can read between the lines on this stuff can recognize what it means when a company rushes to release brand new teaser stuff for the next issue immediately after releasing the current one. From a marketing and buzz standpoint, if your work doesn't suck, you want to give audiences time to digest. You want them to think it through, build it up with word of mouth, convince other people to buy into the book and be on the lookout for new things before you put out a teaser. And you wait until later to publish the teaser so it's fresh in minds to go out and buy it.

Rushing out the next preview means they're desperate to change the subject with what's on hand. They can't radically change the next issue (maybe the next few) in response to criticism and complaints because they're too far along in the publishing pipeline.

They, especially Brevoort, also don't want to admit they made a mistake. Because at the end of the day? Treating Lorna like shit off of sexist nostalgia is what they want. They want people to accept it and let it pass, because they think that unlike Storm, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, etc, that they can get away with being sexist fucks about how they depict Lorna.

So with changing the next issues not an option, and offering up an apology and admitting any kind of fault isn't an option, there's only one real recourse they have.

Releasing shit stupid early and hoping people will change the subject so they can get away with the sexism.

The current X-Factor book is shit. It's based heavily on one man's sexist fantasies for a time decades too old for today. Keep that in mind when you see this stuff.

For my money's worth, this isn't even Lorna. I refuse to recognize this character as being Lorna, because it's blatant that the intent behind it isn't to acknowledge Lorna or her fandom and do right by the character. There's no actual Lorna in this. Therefore it's not Lorna. If you're jonesing for a Lorna fix, read a fanfic, because fanfics are more accurate than what Marvel's publishing.

[strawberrys-starship]

Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

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So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

[system-comforts]

i’m questioning if i’m a system but i really have no idea? like i have some stuff that might be system-y but it also might be nothing idk.

to preface the next bit i’m not asking you to like. definitively tell me if i’m a system or something obviously !! i just want to get it all off my chest i guess asfjdgk

reasons i feel like i might be a system:

-> i have different “modes” where i sometimes type differently + my gender feels different (like not by a lot, it’s always masc but different microlabels) + i prefer different names and sometimes different pronouns. …take a shot every time i say different lmao (/joke)

-> i definitely dissociate sometimes and i have memory issues that i think go past what’s normal for adhd? (diagnosed)

-> in like 9th-10th grade i split myself into three “parts” (trans guy part (13-14), kind of in suspended animation/asleep all day and sometimes awake/in control at night while i was on tumblr. bigender part (14-15), handled regular life stuff like being around school and family, the “main” one. cis woman part (18) who perpetuated/handled a very unhealthy/traumatic “coping mechanism” we had at the time. only ever in control while we were engaging in the thing she handled. originally i kept her in a locked room the rest of the time, eventually i let her out and after that she’d like hang around taunting us all day.)

reasons i might not be:

-> i always feel like /me/, just a different me sometimes

-> i haven’t talked to/been aware of an actual different part of myself since about 10th or maybe 11th grade. the closest i’ve been is like. feeling like i was nobody/a kind of indistinct mush idk and thinking about me (one specific “mode” of me) as a separate person. but it wasn’t like he was actually there as a tangible presence, i just felt like he existed separately. like when someone else lives in your house but they’re out running errands or something so they’re not currently there if that makes sense?

-> like i said, i have a tendency to kinda just steal personality traits from characters i like. right now i’m in. i’ll say sunshine mode bc i don’t wanna put one of my actual names on here. but suffice to say it’s a similar personality to a “golden retriever” character i’m fixated on

-> i also tend to kinda steal personality traits from people i’m around a lot and one of the friends i’m spending a lot of time with rn is a system so i could be unconsciously copying him

-> the dissociation and memory issues could just be from my depression

Hey there anon, we're glad you felt you could vent about all this to us. We also appreciate the preface, since it's definitely true. It seems like you've been considering this question for a while and put in a lot of thought. What you sent made me think of a few questions. Although I can't say yes or no, I hope some of these questions can give you more food for thought.

Experiencing dissociation, especially more than typical for people or for a disorder, is definitely something to consider when questioning plurality. I would be curious, are there certain times or situations where dissociation happens more or less? Are there certain times or situations when memory loss is more likely? How much and what kind of things can you remember? Skills? Personal facts?

During these different modes, when you prefer different names and pronouns, and type differently, what else is different? Perspectives on the world? Values and beliefs? General interests and tastes? These sorts of things may not change as much, or may change more slowly, for someone who isn't plural. However, this may also be different for young people, who are still finding and building their identity. The sense of feeling "like me, just a different me sometimes" could be from plurality, from other disorders (ex masking), or even just a feeling of being young and growing. I would talk with others in different communities, talk with peers, systems, other neurodivergences. Talk about this feeling, see what they say, and try to find what resonates most with you.

Can you listen to these different parts? Perhaps not direct communication, but do you feel an "foreign" impulses, persistent thoughts that seem to come from nowhere or not yourself?

As one last question, does viewing yourself as part of a system help you understand yourself? Is it a helpful framework, does it make sense, does it fit? Does it help you learn about yourself, or does it still feel not right or limiting, or does it ignore other important information?

I hope some of this helped. It seems you've been working hard at this, so we wish you luck as you continue to question this. Know that it's ok to not know, and it's ok to explore the system community as you continue to question.

-mod saturn

[rodolfoparras]

There was a video on Tik Tok that said "I accidentally got the person's pronoun wrong and they break." (almost that) and they said that was an exaggeration.

so I have a funny story about (it isn't funny)

⚠️trigger warning: suicide? something about kill peoples and a slight transphobia

My sibling came out as non-binary, okay. But in our native language there is no defined neutral pronoun and my mother doesn't know much about it, besides being ignorant due to her age.

She (my mother) called them a "loose girl" (in our language it is less offensive), obviously as a joke and my sibling broke down, they said that couldn't handle any more people and that they wanted to kill and be killed.

They said so much about wanting to kill other people that my mother was terrified, almost immediately taking them to the psychiatric hospital, that was crazy.

I know it's sad that someone get your pronoun wrong, but damn, can't they understand it at all? My mother didn't even say anything bad...

kisses, and sorry for the rant❤

— тыква 

Since we’re on the topic I do want to discuss those videos

I think it’s best if we don’t interact or give those types of videos attention.

I’ve come across a couple of them through other peoples stitches and I’ve concluded that it comes down to two things

Ego- people can’t stand being in the wrong or making a mistake so instead of apologize for getting someone’s pronouns wrong and correct themselves it’s easier to laugh it off or make a joke out of the entire situation “when the double d dress wearing long haired trans man corrects me for the getting his pronouns wrong” read as: Well how am I even supposed to tell you identify as a man when you walk in with a red dress long hair and big boobs.

You don’t have to tell or know just apologize for getting it wrong

Another thing is the ongoing discussion where cis straight ppl will say lgbt ppl should have right as well respect trans ppl let gay ppl marry etc but as soon as a trans person corrects someone for getting their pronouns wrong it’s considered as doing too much and how is a cis person supposed to know the trans persons pronouns when the trans person in question looks like that or this

You’re only allowed to act to the extent cis ppl consider it to be suitable for them

It’s also a matter of privilege gender is a social construct but it is a social construct cis ppl rule over, lgbt identities cannot fit in these constructs matter of fact there’s no set construction queer identities can fit in, if we get rid of these constructs we also get rid of cis ppls privilege and they don’t want that

So as a big brother I do advice yall to interact carefully with those videos

As for your siblings it’s clear they’re having serious struggles with their mental health- something that goes beyond their gender identity and I hope they continue to get active help for it!

As for getting pronouns wrong it’s kind of like a snowballing thing it’s never one singular incident that makes a person have an outburst but rather a collection of separate incident where the same thing has happened

And even if it’s just a word as girl boy whatever hearing it multiple times tells the trans person “this person clearly couldn’t care less about me or my identity “ and that genuinely hurts a lot

[insertdragonpun]

Okay so:

I'm studying for my final test in biology, and it's all about heredity. Yada yada punnett squares yada yada. You know the drill.

So one of the points is about complete dominance, incomplete dominance, and codominance, so because It's on my mind with the new season:

Does Todoroki Shouto have codominance or incomplete dominance with his quirk?

Incomplete dominance is essentially the two alleles (them your genes) mixing together to make a new one. E.g. red flower + white flower = pink flower.

While codominance is neither dominant nor recessive, such as AB blood type being neither A nor B while being both A and B. (Like his genetically improbable dad. No, seriously, it's weird order for Shouto to be O, Endeavor would have to be AO, BO, or O. Or he would have to be Cis AB where the two alleles are treated as one. It's a rare trait worldwide but is apparently common over in East Asia? It's literally a mutation caused by an enzyme making their blood type ABO. Yes, that is hilarious if you know what that abbreviation means in fanfics, and I will most certainly have a character make a joke about that when I can.)

IM GETTING DISTRACTED

But this would mean that Shouto's quirk is the codominace between both of his quirk alleles, right? I mean, his hair is codominance, and his eyes are two. And curse the blood type zodiac thing going on across the pond because having Shouta being completely codominant straight down to his blood type would be cool.

I mean, everything about him is very obviously codominant, and I bet if his parents' skin tones were more different (and it wouldn't be harder to draw and animate) his skin color would be perfectly split down the center (hello giving Izuku an advanced eyesight quirk that let's him see our stripes and would probably make him one if the few people would could see Shouto's literal half-n-half skin)

But can you imagine if it was incomplete dominance? The ice and fire mixing into something new? Would it be a cold fire? Hot ice? Would it be like Touya (and my headcannon of Fuyumi) where he would have the resistance to one quirk while the power of the other one? What if they spiraled together? What if he couldn't choose which one would come out? What if his quirk would suddenly switch to the other element during moments of high emotion?

There will be another post about quirks in a minute. I can't fit it here since it doesn't really fit.

[teasdays]

Hi hello I'm your friendly neighbourhood ghost, can I pretty please have the context about Wilbur abuse??? If you are ok with it of course , And thank you, I hope you are having a great day

hi hello ghost! Yeah no worries, I bet it's... difficult to wade through everything that's been going on

So last week, Shubble (streamer, she/they) hosted a stream about their experiences with an unnamed abuser. You can watch it here (if you prefer to read, turn on CC & read the transcript). It's a pretty hard-hitting video, and people pretty immediately guessed that it was, in fact, Wilbur Soot. He's since confirmed it himself in a statement/kind of apology (?) which u can find on his twitter... Shubble has, understandably, rejected it.

That's the short answer!

Uh for a longer one lol, there's more info here: this is an EXCELLENT conversation Shubble had (before W*lbur was officially named) with her friend lexiemariex. They both talk about the abuse and misogyny they've faced as women dating within the streaming community. Neither of them named anyone at this point either, and I actually haven't had time to watch the whole thing yet !! But about 45 minutes in so far they have both shared a lot of really important perspectives on domestic abuse, their experiences as victims (in their words) during & in recovery from those relationships, and about the really harmful norms within streaming.

Just to add a couple comments of my own: if a community is MAINLY dominated by white cis men, that's usually NOT a coincidence; it's usually (at least partly) because the environment is hostile to diversity. Several other people have also come forward about negative experiences with Shubble's ex in particular, but I REALLY think--personally--that it is a mistake to focus just on him. He is, for better or worse, Just Some Guy: it REALLY sounds like his behaviours reflect a deeply harmful culture within streaming. We can't and should not try to cancel all streamers, obviously! But... if we REALLY want to centre survivors? We need to hold the whole community accountable for the CULTURE they've gotten comfortable with.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting that all white men in streaming are malicious people, who only want to hurt/abuse/have power over the weak & helpless women in their sphere. But there's been writing on the wall for a long time: there's a lot of casual misogyny that we HAVE seen streamers ignore, even if they wouldn't (necessarily...) make those jokes themselves. I do NOT have receipts on hand lol, but that's been my observation over the years. So I think it's... too simplistic to say that Shubble's ex, and lexie's, were just outliers. A couple of bad eggs.

We can cancel them, and exile them from streaming, sure--fine. We certainly don't owe anyone a platform. But we also NEED to look beyond the individual people & understand that every single one of them is a product of their culture and community.

tl;dr Shubble's ex is shitty, for sure, but he's not the whole problem! He's a symptom.

oh omg last thing actually: as people navigate how to respond to unfeminist/antifeminist content creators, I'd like to recommend Roxane Gay's perspective in Bad Feminist (excerpt here). As people who consume media, we have to understand that our consumption will always be imperfect, because (again) the problems are deeply embedded in like. the whole culture . We can & will continue to work for a better future, but in the meantime we've gotta forgive ourselves & our comrades for being imperfect <3

[hislittleraincloud]

You're the one who started screaming "pedo" over a gay ship. Sounds pretty conservative to me.

Also literally none of the actors in the show are teenagers. So you're just a fucking weirdo.

I never "screamed "pedo" over a gay ship".

I have called out the behavior of Wenclairs around their ship and the crazy parasocial shit re: Jenna Ortega that's going on.

You do(n't) realize that it's a running Gen X joke that teens in teen shows or that feature teens are more often than not portrayed by older actors/non-teens (though Ortega turned nineteen during the filming of Wednesday 1). But that has fuckall to do with the pervasive insistence that a show penned mostly by, and directed by, cis het people featuring a boy crazy girl who likes rainbows is somehow coding for her being a total lesbian for her roommate.

You can call me conservative if you want, but you obviously haven't a clue and have only popped in here recently. SNS, not going to give you a full lesson in who I really am. You've already opened your mouth, so I'll just keep opening mine.

I don't think like Wenclairs; then again, by the time I was their age — the bulk of you are young/Gen Z and below — I already knew what I needed to do to grow up and survive in a world that is against my way of life.

But I also knew it was fucking weird to obsess over an actor so much that you write RPF and/or y/n shit about them. Singularly and as a couple. Sure, fandomers have written Mary Sue/Gary Stu since the dawn of fic, but it wasn't like this. This is aberrant...you're all acting worse than the Johnlockers who went after Martin Freeman's partner, Amanda Abbington, when she joined Sherlock. Pretty sure that kind of toxic fandom behavior — pushing things on the showrunners and actors — is what the problem is here. Not the ship itself, if it happens organically.

But there isn't going to be anything organic about it because it wasn't written in canon as such. Y'all just seeing what you need to see to justify the obsession. I mean, friendship. That's what was with the dramatics of The Hug. Everyone in the school knew that Wednesday eschewed touching/friendship and expressions of friendship. The scene's the core of M&G's intentions for Wednesday and Enid.

But y'all took Myers' "roomates" joke and ran right off the side of the cliff with it. And even as she's stated in so many words that you shouldn't ship real people, y'all still fucking do it.

So who's really the fucking weirdo(s) here? The ones who can separate real life from fiction or the ones who can't?

[static-wyvern]

Wyvie's Blog Masterpost

(about time I made one of these)

Greetings, dearest entity! Welcome to my strange little corner of the internet. I'm gonna put a ton of info under a read-more so it doesn't take an eternity to scroll past this post haha

-BASIC INFO-

-28 years old, born January 25th (an aquarius, you can tell can't you? haha)

-Cis Female, but any pronouns are fine with me!

-Introverted, don't handle one-on-one conversation well, and also quite shy in general

-Panromantic Asexual

-Furry for at least 16 years

-Left-Handed, both a blessing and a curse

-THE EMBODIMENT OF ANXIETY

-Could be autistic, could not. The jury's still out on it.

-PLUSHIES

-My voice has remained pretty much unchanged since my early teens. Puberty, my ass!

-If we're talking and I refer to myself in the third-person, please don't point it out; it started as a joke in reference to the khajiit from the Elder Scrolls and now it's a bit of a habit.

-LIKES!-

-Chao! (the little guys from Sonic Adventure) I've been obsessed with them since they first appeared and all chao are my babies (yes, even yours.)

-Dragons! I love dragons! All sorts of dragons!

-Skunks! They're so chubby and I love their colors and their tiny ears and big noses!

-Snakes! Danger Noodles! I wanna pet ball python so badly!

-Self-Shipping! Hoo boy... Might make an f/o list, might not. It'll be a bit lengthy, that's for sure.

-Junk Food! I love salty foods, but I'm off the caffeine at the time of this post.

-Cold Weather! Born in the cold, thrive in the cold.

-Worldbuilding! Got my own little species with their own little language on their own little planet all in my head!

-DISLIKES...-

-Rude People, self-explanatory

-Horror, I'm a huge wuss and even old-school obviously-fake blood freaks me out

-Loud Noises, I'm jumpy enough even without them

-Alcohol...ugh.

-Spiral Notebooks, more a nuisance than anything. I'm a leftie and flipping the notebook just seems extra-cursed.

-Rice. Just never liked it.

-Hot Weather makes me feel like I'm dying

-Worldbuilding.

[thebutchtheory]

Just admit you're cherry picking the trans men you don't like specifically like are the "trans men who don't understand misogyny" in the room with us

Yes. I saw a post talking about this phenomenon the other day, where a trans man sexually harassed a trans woman in the workplace because he 'wasn't like other men' (by virtue of being trans, therefore he understands what women want better than cis men), and he did it because the person he harassed was a trans woman, who is 'not like other women', who is therefore able to withstand unwarranted sexual comments about her body in the workplace. Because obviously, he can't hurt her. He used to be a woman, after all, this means he understands women and can sexually harass them as much as he wants to.

This is the same thing as how many cis gay men--often fem cis gay men--believe they can't be misogynistic because they're gay, because homophobia against gay men is deeply rooted in misogyny. They fundamentally understand what [straight] women want because they also like men. Many of gay men are fem, just like women are in their minds. Because they're gay and they're marginalized, they conceptualize themselves as being unable to perpetuate misogyny and transphobia when they talk about how much they hate vaginas, they conceptualize themselves as being unable to be perpetrators of sexual harassment against women because they're not attracted to them. They conceptualize themselves as being unable to perpetuate harm because they are also harmed by the patriarchy, and thus see themselves as being on much more equal footing with [cis, often straight in particular] women than they actually are, and this leads to all kinds of unchecked damage and misogyny in these communities as a result.

You cannot tell me that the same does not apply to transmascs. Whether they've physically transitioned and are passing now (i.e. HRT) or not, the second you think of yourself as unable to cause harm, unable to perpetuate misogyny, unable to harm women, all simply because you used to be one, is the second that you start to become exactly like the trans man in the first paragraph--getting way too familiar with [trans] women simply because you believe you're incapable of harming them.

An example I have off the top of my head being around tmascs for many years is a close friend of mine who at one point stated he 'doesn't like women' completely uncritically of what he was saying, and then he went on about how he doesn't like or 'vibe with' women as much as he does men, as a gay, andro trans man. You can't say I'm just hanging around 'shitty people' when he's doing the exact same thing that cis gay men do; expressing how much he doesn't like women and assuming it's safe to be doing that because he's gay (and trans, in this case), which means that he has no unchecked misogyny to address, because he can't perpetuate misogyny, because he's a gay man who used to be a girl at some point, and he still experiences misogyny at the root of transphobia against him, which also means that he can't perpetuate misogyny because he's a victim of it himself.

Do you see how this doesn't make any sense at all? This thought process does not line up with reality. The fact is, people who behave like this do not understand misogyny. Period. Even if they experienced it in the past, even if they experience it in the current day.

Being a victim of misogyny does not mean that you fully understand what misogyny is as an oppressive, systemic force. Misogyny is so extremely normalized that people saying not to use the word 'bitch' (whether I personally agree with that or not) get basically laughed out of the forum. 'Free the nipple' is seen as some kind of joke because not even other queers can get over the idea that tits are inherently sexual somehow, and throw massive fits if they see a topless woman somewhere in public because something-something nudity, something-something family-friendly, something-something consent. You people can't stop buying into the purity culture that deigns women's bodies as inherently sexual, and you think you understand misogyny? Are you fucking kidding me?

Inb4 someone says something stupid, this topic in particular has nothing to do with 'male privilege'. You don't need male privilege to perpetuate misogyny, you don't need to pass to perpetuate misogyny, you don't even need to be out to perpetuate misogyny like this. Cisgender women perpetuate misogyny toward other women, and many completely do not understand misogyny and feminism as a whole despite being a pretty broad center of it. That's why the fucking Barbie movie got BANNED in some countries--oppressive forces benefit from the broader population being poorly informed about feminism and women's rights. This is something that you personally uphold every single time you think that you don't need to read deeper into misogyny and feminism because you're a woman or you used to be one and therefore you understand these things already, it's the rest of the world that needs to catch up. Fuck off. Being a woman or having been one in the past does not mean that you are instinctively understanding of misogyny, and thinking that way is a great way to start buying into transmisogyny and T/E//RF kool-aid.

So yes, they're in the room with us right now. They're in my inbox. You're not unlikely to be one of them. Go back to misogyny class.

[yusuke-of-valla]

Looking at your Narcissus post, there actually are some Greek myths that treat Narcissus in a sympathetic light, I feel they tend to get ignored at least partially because of how much NPD is demonized by everyone.

On a related note, if I was lost and asked another person for directions, but they instead just repeated what I said, even after I said to stop, and than they randomly got into my personal space and started touching me, I'd get angry at that person too, no matter how attractive they were.

Everyone always ignores that Narcissus never had Hera's curse on Echo explained to him.

Yeah where I ultimately come down on the whole thing is that, obviously that was not the original intent of the myth (and honestly the punishment makes more sense if we're talking about the version with Amenias because at least then Narcissus was being a dick but we can't teach kids about gay shit so ...)

But as someone who is asexual and possibly aromantic and who did get asked out to a dance and responded by running away and hiding in the bathroom for ten minutes, considering we already like to reimagine Greek myths so the heroes are more sympathetic to modern sensibilities ANYWAY, I can very easily see a version of Narcissus that, if not like actually humble or whatever, IS more sympathetic to the fact that people are not obligated to return the affections of people just because they're hot, that the gods tend to be petty and fuck with people (in some versions he's cursed by Aphrodite specifically so you can do a lot with that), and just

Jesus Christ I don't have NPD, I don't know anyone with NPD personally, but I'm against the idea that any mental illness makes someone inherently abusive or that Anyone they have a relationship with is going to receive abuse (which I have literally seen? Written? On what are otherwise medical websites?)

Like that seems fucked up to say about a person who can't change how their brain works anymore than I can?

Sorry I feel like I'm rambling I just feel like GIVEN THE CONTEXT OF HOW WE ALREADY REIMAGINE MYTHS ANYWAY AND HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS Narcissus is actually a character you can give a lot of depth in interesting ways while keeping the core idea that he thinks he's hot shit (and actually is that hot)

Also. If you do a version where he's trans you can make a joke about how Narcissus is Nar cis-isn't.

Look at what we're leaving on the table here people!

[pansyboybloom]

I remember when some ppl on here got so mad at an innocuous post (that i think didnt even had to do with this) that they started posting "masculine men positivity" of just... cis men with beards and all that, and a bunch of people started making think pieces that if you read them you would have thought that men get beat up on the streets for NOT wearing skirts or pink eyeshadow... I can't belive that there's QUEER people that think that for some reason masculinity, specially on men, is under attack when men being masculine is what society expects and NOT being masculine is what a lot of people not just men get punished for, like if you didn't know these people were queer you would look at the way they talk about how masculine men are being oppressed and immediately think "this was written by a right wing bigot", like guys on here writting about how masculine men are oppressed... what separates their argument from homophobes commenting "make men masculine again" on posts of a man wearing a skirt, I think it's specially obvious when they get super mad at joke posts that are like "all men need to wear skirts or they aren't worth it" and take it as a personal offense and a real instance of the world??? Do they think men are getting jumped outside because they don't have their nails painted? I think it's specially horrible when they bring up butches, and black men to defend their argument of masculinity being "oppressed"

like, i absolutely wont pretend to know what life is like for all masc queer men in all parts of the world, but as someone who has grown up in Ye Ol' South, even in a safer area than most, the expectation here is 100000% that a queer man who is hard masc is inherently more deserving of humanity than a fem queer one, including trans men. 'make men masculine again' is written on real life bumper stickers that you can see in high school parking lots. while mike the jock is obviously still in danger of being queerbashed, if he presents as hard masc and plays his cards right, he is less likely to be than the 'dirty sissy' fem man. and it's the same for trans men-- being extremely masc won't make your gender respected, but you are slightly less likely to be beaten up than a guy like me who wears a skirt.

heavy irl example of a queer-bashing hate crime description below heads up:

when i was in middle school, there was one very, very fem gay boy who had his head bashed into a mirror in the boys' locker room hard enough to break the mirror and send him to the hospital. would the boys in my school likely attack a masc gay classmate as well? yes. but everyone, cishet and queer, knew that that was less likely to happen because the masc queer men were the 'good ones' who 'didn't shove it down your throat' and 'kept it in the bedroom' unlike the 'sissy fags' (GROSS stuff to say about a fucking middle schooler but ya know, homophobia!)

like i said, can't speak for everyone and everywhere! but my life experience? a lot of guys forced themselves to be masc for safety. i know guys who faced so much horrible rhetoric that they would google speech therapy to 'talk more masc' or join in on the queerbashing and bullying, bc even if they couldn't be 100% masc, beating up the other, more fem guys would earn them some basis of safety.

are queer women threatened for being gnc? for being butch or masc? yes. absolutely. but at least in my neck of the woods, it ain't the same for queer men. but like i said. just my experiences