#JOKER FISH MY BELOVED <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sandwormb]

Joker Fish

[izunias-meme-hole]

Since you've been rebloging this clown like crazy, who are your favorite Jokers?

Oh no... how could I ever choose?

Anyway.

Number 10. Brave And The Bold - A Silver Age inspired Joker with the Golden Age design and genuine menace. A pretty good combo if you ask me!

Number 9. 1966/Caesar Romero - He's the most iconic of the purely campy Jokers, and honestly he's just fun. I know that's not a heavy reason to like this iteration of the character, but it's true.

Number 8. Gotham - The Valeska Twins share a spot, purely because Cameron Monaghan's performance as them was so great. First there was Jerome, who was originally supposed to be a one-off possible Joker, and remained that way throughout the entire show even as he became somewhat of a Proto-Joker that was simultaneously heinous and fun. Though near the end of the show's 4th season, Jerome dies, but his twin brother Jeremiah ends up getting infected with an insanity gas that his brother cooked up, turning Jeremiah into a Golden Age inspired Proto-Joker who slowly evolves into the clown that we're more familiar with.

Number 7. The Batman 2004 - This clown offers almost everything you'd want, but they're all packed within an extremely different exterior! His bare feet, dreads that resemble a jesters hat, Kevin Michael Richardson voicing him, and just how athletic and animalistic he is make this Joker unique, even if what he brings to the table is still pure fun mixed with genuine heinousness and a bat obsession.

Number 6. Arkhamverse - Despite having that shit final boss and his bad habit of constantly overshadowing other villains, Joker in these games is an absolute blast to see and hear. Doesn't matter that he's a big bad, a secondary antagonist, or just "flirting with Batsy", he's great. It also helps that both Mark Hamill and Troy Baker do a phenomenal job at bringing him to life.

Number 5. Golden Age - Ah, Original!Joker my beloved. A scary as shit cunning sociopath with a haunting grin, clownish exterior, and a nice purple suit who just came outta nowhere. Plain, simple, yet very effective at the time.

Number 4. Nolanverse/Heath Ledger - I swear to god Heath Ledger's take on Joker is the definition of "don't judge a book by its cover" because while he kinda spawned more cringeworthy and edgier Jokers (Lookin' at the New 52 & Leto), he also manages to distill the essence of the character perfectly. He's colorful yet subtle, funny yet terrifying, arrogant yet self-deprecating, brilliant yet insane, motivated to cause chaos yet feeling the need to justify that chaos to the rest of the world, hates Batman yet loves him, and he just simply exists.

Number 3. Batman 1989/Jack Nicholson - Perfect casting, perfect costume, feels like he leapt straight outta the comics and onto the big screen, and he has a near perfect origin. If only he wasn't responsible for the death of the Waynes. Still he's a phenomenal elseworlds Joker and an ICON.

Number 2. BTAS/DCAU - Forever the definitive Joker adaptation. Mark Hamill's voice was perfect for the clown, his designs are iconic, his origin being a perfect blend between "we know what he's about" and "we don't know shit," he's still funny yet terrifying, he's a chaotic artist, his toxic dynamic with Harley Quinn was perfect (which is funny since Quinn was invented FOR BTAS), his death and actual defeat were cathartic, and overall this was the Definitive Joker.

Number 1. Post-Crisis Comics - We got Joker's Five-Way Revenge, Laughing Fish, Dreadful Birthday Joker, The Killing Joke, and A Death In The Family out of this iteration of the character, all of which pretty much came to define The Joker in one way or another, for better or worse. Out of all of the reboots of DC's universe, Post-Crisis had the best Comic!Joker, and in all honestly just the best Joker in general.

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[bejeweledsims]

the aesthetics challenge: a ten generations legacy challenge

i've always loved to play challenges in the sims 4, i find that they push to gameplays that i otherwise would probably never try, so i decided to try to create my own challenge.

while creating the requirements for each generation i was looking at the aesthetics wiki, so feel free to check it out if you have any doubt as to what an aesthetic means or what it should look like. also, i'm aware that some of this may not fit what some people think about certain aesthetics, but this was my own interpretation of them with the resources provided by the sims 4 gameplay to the date i'm posting this, so be nice pls <3

while making this i realized that someone else had already made a challenge with the same idea, though there are only two aesthetics that appear in both challenges and the requirements are different.

general rules:

though some generations do require you to live in a specific place, i only added the world part as to give you an idea, but you're welcome to have your sim live wherever you wish if not necessary.

given that it's a challenge based around the idea of aesthetics, you should probably create your sim based around the designated aesthetic

unless stated otherwise, you can marry/get together with any sim with whatever traits

use the #aestheticsims4challenge tag if you decide to play this challenge, i'd love to see what other people do with it :)

generation #1: witchcore

growing up you always loved to read about magical worlds and fantastic realms, so you used to stay away from other people and with the company of your beloved books and a cat. but when visiting a mysterious town you meet an strange man who claims to be a spellcaster, you witness all of your dreams come true and beg him to teach how to become one.

traits: cat lover, loner, bookworm

aspiration: spellcraft & sorcery

job: freelancer, writer branch

world: glimmerbrook

requirements:

start as a regular sim, become a spellcaster

move into glimmerbrook as soon as you become a spellcaster

complete the spellcraft & sorcery aspiration

marry a human

learn all the spells of at least one type of magic

complete at least one of the perk trees

maximize the medium, herbalism and fishing skills

generation #2: plant mom

your parent may have been able to cast actual magic and all that, but ever since you were little you knew that the only magic you could do was with plants, and so you commit your life to learning everything you can about them and how to take care of them, but when you're not doing this, and unlike your parent, you love to hangout with other people and your dogs on the outdoors, though you mostly like to talk about plants.

traits: loves the outdoor, dog lover, outgoing

aspiration: freelance botanist

job: gardener, botanist branch

world: any world

requirements:

this heir must be human

reach the top of the gardening career

always have at least one dog

complete the freelance botanist aspiration

spend at least 2 hours every sunday in a park

have a gardening club and have at least one gathering each week

maximize the gardening, herbalism and logic skill

generation #3: clowncore

while your parent was all about plants, hardwork and research, you're more of a joker and would much rather spend your time with other people making them laugh, so you decide to devote your life to it. you try to always see the bright side of things and will always make a joke even in the saddest of times, but that has caused to lose some loved ones along the way.

traits: goofball, outgoing, cheerful

aspiration: joke star

job: entertainer, comedian branch

world: any world

requirements:

complete the joke star aspiration

reach the top of the entertaniner career on the comedian branch

marry and divorce a proper sim

have a neutral relationship with your parents and child

maximize the comedy, mischief and carisma skills

generation #4: cottagecore

it's not that you didn't like your parent, it's just that they could sometimes be... a little too much when it came to their jokes. you always felt as though you got along better with animals than with other people, so you prefered to spend your time in the outdoors surrounded by them, so when you are old enough you move to the countryside and buy a farm where you take of many animals and attend the farm festival, where you fall in love with a local sim.

traits: loves outdoors, good, animal enthusiast

aspiration: country caretaker

job: no job

world: henford-on-bangley

requirements:

never have a job

complete the country caretaker aspiration

live on henford-on-bangley

be close with your grandparent and garden with them

be closer to your proper parent, but live with your goofball parent

marry a sim from henford-on-bangley

maximize the cross-stitch, herbalism, cooking, baking and gardening skills

generation #5: downtown girl

your parents always loved the countryside and it's animals and plants, but that lifestyle was just never for you, and when on a family trip you visit the big city you make a decision: you'll move there as soon as you become a young adult. once there, and with no more company other than a cat you adopt on your first day on the city, you decide to follow your dream of becoming a musician and start from the bottom.

traits: music lover, cat lover, loner

aspiration: city native

job: entertainer, musician branch

world: san myshuno

requirements:

complete the city native aspiration

have a part-time job as a teenager

reach the top of the entertainer career on the musician branch

adopt a cat on your first day on the city

have no more than 3 friends, excluding family members

maximize the singing, charisma, guitar and piano skills

generation #6: dark/light academia

you’ve always have a passion for knowledge and learning, so much so that you prioritize it above anything else, you dream of becoming the first person in your family to attend university. you are always surrounded by books, and you prefer their company to that of other people, which is why many consider you a snob.

traits: bookworm, loner, snob

aspiration: academic

job: writer, on the autor branch

world: any

requirements:

go to university, it must be britechester

join a secret society

maximize writing, research & debate and logic skill

marry a fellow academic with the snob trait

read at least 3 books to each of your kids

reach the top on the writer career on the author branch

generation #7: old money

"some people are simply better than others" it's a phrase that you wholeheartedly believe and live by. you love art, music, books and everything sofisticated, so you choose a career that will allow to enjoy of such things, but when your parents decide to make a call to boost your admission chances to your dream university due to the being alumnus, it makes you forever question whether you truly deserved it or not, so you work harder than everyone else to prove you're worth it.

traits: snob, proper, over-achiever

aspiration: successful lineage

job: business, management branch/acting

world: san myshuno/del sol valley

requirements:

go to university, and major in either economics or communications

reach the top of the business/acting career

complete the successful lineage aspiration

graduate high school as an b student, graduate university with honors

if you choose the acting career, you must win at least 1 starlight accolade and become a 5 star celebrity

marry a famous and snob sims

maximize the gourmet cooking, charisma, parenting and painting skills

generation #8: that girl

they say like parent like children, and they're right. growing up you always saw just how hard your parents worked and how much they managed to achieve due to that hardwork, so you decide to be just like them, except for one little thing: you want to be an internet personality. so you go to college and at the same time become a simfluencer, at least until you graduate, but you still keep updating your social media everytime possible. you are always concerned with becoming your best self in terms of mind and body.

traits: perfectionist, over-achiever, neat

aspiration: renaissance sim

job: simfluencer part-time job as a teenager, style influencer on the trendsetter branch

world: any

requirements:

complete the self-care self-care specialist aspiration

reach the top of the both of your careers

become at least a 3 star celebrity

go to the gym at least three times each week, go to a spa at least once a week

graduate as a a student and valedictorian, graduate university with honors

maximize logic, fitness, wellness, cooking, parenting and baking skills

be close with each of your children

get at least 6 other skills to level 8

generation #9: coastal grandma

you grew up watching your parents constantly working, and while that never stopped them from being as loving and doting as possible, seeing their frantic lifestyle made you realize that you want nothing to do with that lifestyle, in fact, you want to just relax and enjoy life in a beach while drinking your favorite drink. so you work all of your youth and once you become an adult you move to a beach, quit your job and enjoy the rest of your life with your loved ones.

traits: child of the ocean, foodie, insider

aspiration: beach life

job: culinary, chef brand

world: brindleton bay, tartosa, sulani

requirements:

complete the beach life aspiration

move to a beach once you become an adult

marry a good sim

practice wellness

have a good relationship with your child

maximize the cooking, baking, mixology, parenting and knitting skills

generation #10: cryptidcore

a family rumour claims that one of your ancestors wasn’t… precisely human, but everytime you’ve tried asking anyone they just laugh and deny it, saying that no such things exist. well, you’ve decided to prove them wrong, and you will dedicate your life to prove it

traits: loves the outdoors, socially awkward, genius

aspiration: strangerville mistery

job: scientist

world: strangerville

requirements:

befriend a witch, werewolf, vampire, alien, ghost and a mermaid

marry a sim that is one of the previous life states

reach the top of the scientist career

complete the strangerville mistery aspiration

move to strangerville

maximize the vampire lore, photography and logic skills

[adelaidedrubman]

5 SONG OTP PLAYLIST

was tagged by @bluemojave my beloved to list five songs that fit my ships! (i also added lyric excerpts because i’m an insufferable menace.) sending tags out to @blackreaches @florbelles @henbased @heroofpenamstan @belorage @marivenah @ishwaris @dihardys @strafethesesinners @jackiesarch @shallow-gravy @beautiful-delirium @confidentandgood @purplehairsecretlair @snake-in-the-garden @schoute @poeti-kat @indorilnerevarine and anyone else who wants to play, as usual head empty + on mobile

1. cosmonauts - fiona apple

your face ignites a fuse to my patience / whatever you do, it’s gonna be wrong / there’s no time to interrupt the detonation / be good to me before you’re gone / when i met you, i was fine with my nothing / i grew with you and now i’ve changed / what i’ve become is something i can’t be without your loving / be good to me, it isn’t a game

2. pink steam - sonic youth

i just come by to run you over / i just come by to see you quiver / you can come, you can slip inside, babe / killer eyes and a burnin’ heart, babe / don’t you know you need no other / i’m the man who loves your mother

3. that don’t impress me much - shania twain

i never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket / and a comb up his sleeve — just in case / and all that extra hold gel in your hair oughta lock it / ’cause heaven forbid it should fall outta place

oh-oh, you think you’re special / oh-oh, you think you're something else / okay, so you’re brad pitt

that don’t impress me much / so you got the looks, but have you got the touch? / now, don’t get me wrong — yeah, i think you’re alright / but that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night / that don’t impress me much

4. in spite of ourselves - john prine ft. iris dement

she thinks all my jokes are corny / convict movies make her horny / she likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs / swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs / she takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’ / i’m never gonna let her go

he’s got more balls than a big brass monkey / he’s a whacked-out weirdo and a lovebug junkie / sly as a fox and crazy as a loon / payday comes and he’s howlin’ at the moon / he’s my baby, i don’t mean maybe / never gonna let him go

in spite of ourselves, we’ll end up a-sittin’ on a rainbow / against all odds, honey, we’re the big door prize / we’re gonna spite our noses right off of our faces / there won’t be nothin’ but big old hearts dancin’ in our eyes

5. you so done - noga erez

touch without leaving traces / scar me in hidden places, inside / don’t get my mom all worried / not now (kids these days) / losers outplay other losers / guess what that makes the two of us? / rooftop, city shines at sunrise / i’ll let you watch while i jump

what a joke, what a joke you made me / what’s a queen to a joker? tell me / what’s a laugh to a self-destructive me? / what’s a prayer to a death wish? / you so / joke, joke, a jo-joke you made me / a queen to a joker, tell me / what’s home to a claustrophobic? / what’s a sea to a dead fish?

1. seasons bloom - kacy hill

and now i’m seeing your face in the moonlight / i swear that i couldn’t love you more if i tried / but now i’m seeing your face in the moonlight / oh, and you’re making me cry

it’s all the world that i could want / you make me feel like i belong / it’s all the world that i could want / seasons blooming in your arms

2. chemicals react - aly & aj

were you right? was i wrong? / were you weak? was i strong? / yeah, both of us broken caught in a moment / we lived and we loved and we hurt and we jumped, yeah / but the planets all aligned / when you looked into my eyes / and just like that, the chemicals react / the chemicals react

3. angels - the xx

and every day / i am learning about you / the things that no one else sees / and the end comes too soon / like dreaming of angels / and leaving without them / and leaving without them

being as in love with you as i am / being as in love with you as i am / being as in love with you as i am / being as in love, love, love / love, love, love / love, love, love

and with words unspoken / a silent devotion / i know you know what i mean / and the end is unknown / but i think i’m ready / as long as you’re with me

4. omg - gryffin & carly rae jepsen

no chemical could recreate our chemistry / got what i need, need, need / i’m technical but i lose sensibility / when you’re next to me / i feel a boom, feel a bang / inside my soul, love / when you lay me down / when you do it that way i lose control of / all my senses now

5. somebody like me - st. vincent

paint yourself white / clip on the wings / climb high to the top of a building / does it make you an angel / or some kind of freak / to believe enough / in somebody like me? / baby

oh, i (oh, i), guess we’ll see / who was the freak

dress up in white / slip on the ring / walk straight down the aisle / to the violin strings / does it make you a genius or / the fool of the week / to believe enough / in somebody like me? / baby

[anunvalidcritic]

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                         PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up. 

[reddrobins]

Always and Forever

older!damian wayne x reader

request: can you do an imagine with the prompt "get out of here! its a trap!" with either jason or damian? please and thanks

summary: Damian had been ignoring you for a few weeks now. However when you suddenly end up in the murderous hands of the Joker he realizes that you would’ve been much safer had he not shut you out

warnings: anGST, like angst. violence?

It had been weeks since you last heard from him. Weeks.

Yes, you and Damian did tend to go on little breaks for both of your well-beings, but they had never been weeks long. A week at most.

So when you didn’t hear from your boyfriend for weeks, yeah, of course you began to worry.

You first tried to find him at school. Seeing as you both went to the same high school, Gotham Academy, you figured that yo would at least see him in the halls. But alas, your loving boyfriend was no where to be found.

Taking matters into your own hands, you finally concluded the only option left was to show up at the manor itself. And that’s exactly what you did.

As you climbed up the steps to the front door you pondered whether or not this was actually a good idea. Maybe Damian just wanted a break? you thought to yourself.

No, he would’ve told me.

Finally, you knocked thrice upon the door and waited patiently for it to open. After a few seconds, and a whole lot of whispering, the door finally swung open reveling Alfred, Damian's family butler.

“Hello, Mr.Pennyworth, I was wondering if Damian is home? I haven’t heard from him in a while and I just wanted to check to see if he was okay.” You gave the old man a kind smile.

“Hello to you Miss. (L/N).” Alfred paused for a moment, and you assumed the worst. Maybe Damian did want to breakup.

“Master. Damian is actually on a trip with his father to Metropolis for quite some time, so I assume that’s why you have not heard from him. Would you like me to let him know of your visit?” You frowned, even if Dami was on vacation that doesn’t explain why he wouldn’t have contacted you.

“Um, no, its alright Mr. Pennyworth, sorry for being a bother. Have a nice day.”

Alfred gave you a pitiful smile and shut the door not before replying with a ‘you as well Miss.’

-

“She came over this morning Master. Damian, I do not know if I am able to keep lying for you. She seems awfully upset.” Alfred spoke over the earpiece.

Damian all but groaned, even though he loved you, he really did not need this right now. Him and his father were currently following the biggest lead of his life and he needed to stay focused. Batman has recently let him in on a case involving none other than the Joker himself. He had escaped from Arkham (again) and planned to take over the city... (again). Did he want to talk to you? Of course, but he couldn’t risk you getting in the way of the rogues they were up against.

“Penny-one, we will talk about this later, I should not have any distractions at this time.” Damian cursed at himself, he didn’t want to push you away - but if that’s what will keep you safe, then so be it. 

“Robin to Batman - what are we dealing with as of now?” Damian sat atop one of the ledges of a hotels roof, waiting for a response.

“We are not dealing with anything at the moment. I am starting to think this case is bigger than you Robin. I’d like you to go back to the cave, call it a night... and no patrolling, we can’t risk anything right now.”

Damian sneered, he knew this wold happen. It always ends like this. He goes on a case involving the Joker and then bam, hes off of it once it becomes serious. Damian assumed it must be from survivors guilt after the death of Jason, but still.

“Tt, how did I know it wold end like this father... Fine. I’m returning to the cave. Don’t bother asking for help next time if you don’t want it.”

Damian turned off his com - against his better judgement - and instead of turning back to the cave, he pulled out his phone, staying seating on the rooftop.

He checked the time, it was only 12:30 am, surely you must be awake.Once more against his better judgement, he texted you.

Hello.

He waited eagerly for your response. Though Damian was the one to push you away, he had to admit, he was a mess without you. More angsty, shorter temper, it was as if he reverted back to his self from 3 years ago. He cringed at the though.

A few minutes had gone by without text back, he decided you must’ve been asleep and he pocketed the phone, reaching for his grapple gun.

Just as he was going to swing back to the manor, his phone buzzed.

It buzzed once more.

And again.

And again.

He fished it out of his kevlar armor and swiped across the screen answering the call. “(Y/N)?”

Your voice came out whispered and rushed, “Damian, I know you told me not to go out at night but you weren’t available and so I thought I’d just pop over to your house again to see if everything was okay because even though Alfred said you were in Metro-”

Damian cut off your rambling, “Beloved, what is wrong?”

“I think I’m being followed. I- I’m walking back to my house and I was hearing footsteps behind me and then I came home and no one was there so I didn’t know what to do. I’m sitting in my closet now, I think someone is in the house.”

The young Wayne cursed, “Okay, stay calm my love. Do not leave the closet, stay in it no matter what you hear. I’m going to come over right now.”

“Please hurry.” You whispered into the phone.

“Stay on the line with me (Y/N), don’t hang up, please. I need to know you’re okay at all times.” I cant lose you. The words were left unsaid but she knew they were intended.

“Okay, I’m going to stay quiet though, Just in case.” Damian nodded as he grappled from building to building, faster than he’d ever had in his life.

“That’s very smart beloved, please just don’t hang up. I’m almost there.” 

In the distance Damian saw your apartment complex, greatful that he was already in the upper East side. If only he knew what he would be walking into.

-

“Batman to Penny-one, has Robin arrived home yet?” 

“Not yet sir, would you like me to page him?” Alfred manned the computer while Bruce scoped out the area where Joker was said to be.

“No. That will not be needed Alfred. Though if he does not arrive back within the hour, contact Nightwing, tell him the situation.”

“Consider it done.”

Just as Bruce was about to sign off, the Batcomputer let out a blaring sound, Alfred turned his com back on.

“Sir it appears Oracle has located the Joker.”

“Coordinated, Penny-one?”

Alfred read back Oracles messages and frowned, “No coordinates sir, but he’s been spotted in a general location. The upper East side, by the Villa Apartments. Do you suspect a bomb? Would you like backup?”

Batman froze, the upper East side... that’s where Damian was, if he had gone after the Joker... No. Bruce didn’t want to think about that.

“Penny-one inform Nightwing that assistance is needed, enable Robins tracker.”

-

Damian scaled the apartment building, finding your fire escape and swinging inside. “(Y/N)!” He called out.

A muffled yell was heard from upstairs, he cursed and immediatley broke into a sprint up the stairs.

The closer he got to your bedroom, the more voices he heard. It wasn’t just you, someone else was here... and he knew who that tone belonged to.

Another muffled yell was heard, this time followed by a much clearer, “Get out of here Damian! It’s a tr-” the yell was cut short by more muffles.

He heard a laugh sound from the other side of the door and his heart stopped. It wasn’t just a lowlife that followed you home... no it was much worse. 

It was the Joker.

Damian stood on the stairs for a second, Bruce would ground him indefinitely if he took on the Joker by himself, but what was the other option? He couldn’t leave you to die.

His mind raced, do I call Batman? Nightwing? Maybe even Red Hood? Damian’s thoughts were soon cleared as another muffled sounded from the door, this time much louder.

Damian busted through the door, katana at the ready and looked around the room. 

What the heck?

No one was in there, the room was dark, but the stars outside casted enough light for him to see the lack of people within his surroundings.

That was until a thud was heard from the closet.

He rushed over and ripped the door open and there you were.

Shoved into the closet with rope around your wrists and a sock in your mouth.

Damian quickly removed the sock and you instantly started spewing words. “Damian you have to leave, there was no one following me home, it was a setup, I got home and the Joker- he- he told me I needed to bring you here because you’re Robin?! I couldn’t even tell you on the phone it was a trap but-”

Damian silenced you with a quick kiss and then turned stoic, “Where is he?”

You opened your mouth to reply but your eyes widening was enough of an answer for the young teen.

“Right here, bird boy,” The Joker drawled.

The boy in question sprung up, holding his katana in a battle stance. “What do you want Joker?”

“What do I want? Hmm, What do I want?” He laughed to himself, “I want the Batman. And I want him dead.”

Damian glared at his opponent, “Then what grievances do you have with me or (Y/N)?” 

The Joker paced within your room and at that point, Damian saw the glimmer of the gun he was holding, the young vigilante clenched his jaw, knowing he had to be careful about this situation or you could get shot... or even worse.  

“What grievances do you have” The Joker mocked, “I don’t have grievances with you bird brain. Its the bat.”

Damian furrowed his brows, green eyes narrowed in anger, “Then tell me, what was the point of bringing (Y/N) into this.”

At the mention of your name, the Joker looked over to you, giving a mocking wave, you shivered at the attention, trying to sink deeper into the closet.

“You see Robin, last time I tried to break the Bat, I did it directly, I blew up Jaso-”

“You blew up Jason Todd, yes I know, that doesn’t answer my question.” Damian grit out.

The Joker narrowed his eyes and then let out a gleeful laugh, “Boy you are just like your father aren’t you? I was saying, I blew up Jason Todd and that ruined the Batman, but in the end he just got another one of you. What I want to do is break you. And that, my dear Robin, will break the big old Batman.”

As the Joker finished his monologue, Damian gripped the katana tighter and stepped closer to you, getting ready to defend you at all costs. “And how exactly do you plan to do that, clown?”

“By taking the one thing that keeps you grounded, by making you snap and turning into Batman's worst fear. A killer.”

At that, the Joker shot his gun, the bullet aimed directly for you. You screamed and dived out of the way, though Damian was faster and blocked the shot with his sword.

“Not going to happen.” Damian lunged at the Joker, swinging his katana about. He finally got the clown prince onto the floor and stood over him, his sword in the air, ready to be brought down. “If you think for one second, I would let you harm my beloved, you’re crazier then they come.” 

Damian’s anger was unmatched, he contemplated doing it - killing the Joker that is. But you were there, and he would never commit such a heinous act in front of hi love.

“Damian, don’t-” You breathed, “Don’t, that’s what he wants...”

You stood from the closet and went to reach out to him, grabbing his gloved hand. The two of you looked at each other for what seemed like forever, a silent conversation between between your eyes.

That was until the shot rang out.

You crumpled into Damian, gripping your stomach wound in pain.

Damian’s eyes widened as he held onto you for dear life. “Beloved?”

He grabbed your hand, feeling the wet substance between his fingers, he said it again, “Beloved!”

The pain was over bearing at this point and with one final cry of ‘Damian’ you passed out.

The teen yelled and turned around, facing the shooter. “You! You muqit al'um!”

Damian moved forward towards the joker and lifted the katana once more, “I. Am. Going. To. Kill you!” He screeched. As he was going to bring the blade down onto his giggling victim when he was knocked to his knees. 

“Robin no!” 

He knew that voice, Dick, Why was Dick here?

Damian got back up and went to swing again, only to be held back by Nightwing, “Damian stop! This is what he wants. Stand down!” 

All the while, the Joker was manically laughing at the scene playing out in front of him, it was just too funny. As an enraged Damian and a fearful Nightwing struggled for power, the Joker quietly snuck out the window, going into the night.

“That monster! 'Uqsim bihayati sa'aqtiluh!” In his rage Damian reverted back to Arabic, cursing the Joker and himself for not being fast enough.

“Damian, you need to calm down.” Dick gripped his brother face, making eye contact.

“Calm down?! Dick he just shot (Y/N)!” At those words, Damian looked over at your still body. God, there was so much blood.

He raced over to you, breaking free from Dicks hold and found your pulse, it was light but still there. You needed help. Now.

“Contact Alfred, we need to get her to the manor.”

Dick nodded, contacting the butler through the coms. Damian reached out and gripped your hand squeezing lightly, “Beloved you will pull through this, you will. I know it.”

In your pained state you barely made out his words, but you could see your boyfriends intense green eyes boring down at you. “Damian-” You coughed, “Damian, If I die, I love you.”

The teen had to try his hardest not to cry, though he usually had his emotions under the best of his control, you made him soft. “No, my love you will not die, I will make sure of that. We are in this together. Always and forever.”

You smiled weakly, “Always and forever.”

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 6 Costume Reveals (Predictions and Rankings) Part 2!

Hello everyone! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer, where I, Ana, recap every single episode of The Masked Singer, including when they reveal our beloved costumes, which is what I am doing here! Actually, this is part 2 of this revealing costumes saga, so if you wanna see part 1, link is below ⬇️

So yeah, go see that post for the first 10 costumes that were revealed with my thoughts, some predictions/dream casting action, and how I rank them… and now let’s get started with the costumes and more of that action! (Preface= I still don’t know how many costumes are in total, so by the end of this post, I may have a better idea, I’m still not too sure).

* Also, in between this part and the last one, the sneak peak episode was revealed and we got to see the first clues so I will be putting them down for these costumes and updating them for the previous ones!

1. Skunk 🦨

Thoughts: I really like this costume, it is very reminiscent of flapper girls and I feel like someone older & a legendary celebrity is under that mask because it's so poised and elegant kind of like flower from season 2 or bee from season 1.

Predictions: Again, I am gonna predict that this is a legend in the music world, perhaps older & female, similar to Bee (Gladys Knight), Flower (Patti LaBelle), and Mouse (Dionne Warwick). So, for dream casting, I'm going to go between Liza Minelli, Tina Turner, or Diana Ross.

First Clue: Elvis Presley (maybe someone related to him or who knew him or sang one of his songs famously or is also from Memphis)

Ranking: 8/10

2. Caterpillar 🐛

Thoughts: It’s a super cute costume, reminds me a bit of the llama, if it were cuter tbh. The colors are super cute, very nostalgic to like toys from the 90s or early 2000s which I really like. It’s adorable, it has braces and everything, I really like it. Some people say there are 2 people under there, but I don’t think so.

Predictions: I think this might be a male actor, singer, or Broadway performer…. From the first clue provided, I am gonna dream cast a guess here and it would be Todrick Hall (this is not an official guess just a dream cast one… I haven’t heard it sing just yet)

First Clue: Taylor Swift knows him!

Ranking: 8/10

3. Jester 🃏

Thoughts: This one is probably my least favorite costume of the bunch. I get what they were going with it, like a Joker from a deck of cards, but it is really weird and creepy looking. It also looks like the belly is just a pillow under there, it doesn’t look super thought out, similar to Raccoon from last season. I’m also not a big of fan of like horror movies so it just doesn’t speak to me honestly.

Predictions: I think this might be a male actor or based on the clue, my mind went to someone from the Bachelor. Also, half of me thinks it might be an action star like Danny Trejo last season. Dream cast I would say I would like to see Bruce Willis (since his daughter was on the first season), Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Danny DeVito.

First Clue: A bouquet of roses 🌹

Ranking: 2/10

4. Pepper 🌶

Thoughts: This one reminds me of the Jalapeño from Quien es la Mascara (which is the Mexican version of The Masked Singer) but it’s a female version of it instead, which I kinda like. It is a little haphazard because the head doesn’t go super well with the dress but maybe it’s because I cannot stop thinking about the Mexican male version. Nevertheless, it’s a cool costume, super spicy (ugh now I am doing the pun thing… I promise I’m done)

Predictions: Idk about this one since there weren’t any first clues for her… but I am gonna go off the cuff again and say maybe a YouTuber or another type of influencer, like dream cast wise a Liza Koshy, Maddie Ziegler, or Rosanna Pansino.

Ranking: 9/10

5. Pufferfish 🐡

Thoughts: Woah… I legit just saw this one in the most recent preview for the show. It looks really funny with the lips, like puffer fish, but the lips puff out, I see what you are doing there Masked Singer. I like it though, it is very cartoon like but I think that’s the look they were going for. The arms are a bit weird tho, I can’t tell tho because it spun around and for a split second we saw the costume (this was a screenshot I took of that split second lol).

Predictions: I think this one might be female, for some reason a younger person comes to mind, similar to like Jellyfish or Kitty from previous seasons, someone younger whether it be an influencer, athlete, or artist of some kind (actor or musician or dancer) idk…. they didn’t give us any clues about this costume, but from this photo with them taking a lot of photos of her makes me think influencer or model specifically so that’s where I am gonna go when dream casting. So, dream cast wise, I am gonna go between Gigi Hadid, Bella Hadid, or Kendall Jenner.

Ranking: 8/10

6. Mother Nature 🌬

Thoughts: Ooh, this one is super cool, they just revealed this one too after the preview. I like it a lot, it’s very realistic looking but also elegant at the same time. Even though the face is a tiny bit scary, the rest looks really cool and I like the idea of a Mother Nature costume.

Predictions: I am gonna go singer for this one, female is my guess. So, dream casting over here, I would like to see Alesia Cara, Jennifer Hudson, or maybe one of the girls from Little Mix/one of the former members of Fifth Harmony.

Ranking: 9/10

So, that's it! The total for contestants this season is 16 costumes! So, yeah, the premiere is on September 22 and 23 which is about 8 days away, so I will see you guys there! Comment below your favorite (and maybe even least favorite) costume and what you are most excited for this upcoming season! Bye guys, see you in a bit over a week.

[jcmorrigan]

@eerieeyes​ it went to submissions so I’m arranging to answer here

Top 5 episodes (in which you’re going to see the reasons I watch this show spelled out very clearly):

5. “Burn the Witch” for Fish Mooney fucking owning the whole show, and for the rivalry with her and Oswald coming to the weirdly most wholesome possible head. Also Hugo Strange is here and that’s a good time

4. “New Day Rising” because here I was all like “Jervis is just the worst, the most awful, I hate that he’s so charismatic, can’t wait for him to actually get unlikable so I don’t have to admit he’s one of my favorites” and then what did he do? CIRCUS-THEMED BREAK-IN TO THE GCPD TO KIDNAP ALICE and I’m just like “Oh God dammit I like the one with the hypno kink”

3. “The Gentle Art of Making Enemies” because I had been disappointed with Jerome’s actual return episode and I was afraid he was going to get boring, but then, NOPE, he has a whole fuckin circus of debauchery set up that he tours Bruce around at gunpoint and his whole philosophy about how people are looking for an excuse - look, I’m not one to say any Joker is ever correct about life but the sad fact is people are kind of awful and selfish creatures and I liked this show centering Jerome’s philosophy on that fact and taking it to the worst extreme.

2. “That’s Entertainment.” I’m gonna talk more about the J-Squad stuff below but let’s just say I loved this ep for them because of the fucking...music festival and Jerome being a murder dork, and the fact that this whole scheme reveals that Jervis and Jon each only have one (1) evil scheme preloaded and it’s “brainwash chemical gets dumped on city”

1. “One of My Three Soups” FOR KICKING OFF THE VILLAIN ALLIANCE THAT MADE THE SHOW FOR ME. OH MY GOD. AND THE POWER PLAY? ALMOST KILLING EVERYBODY THROUGH MASS HYPNO SUICIDE? THAT WAS DARKLY AWESOME. Especially because of the whole “save each other” loophole that just made me go AAAWWWW. Just coming up with something that dark and having it be solved by thinking out of the box to the most wholesome thing possible. Also Harvey taking the sacrifice to be able to figure out how to trace the signal. But let’s be real: I’m here for my boys. By this point I was already so smitten with Jervis and Jerome, and then Jon was like “I feel bad for him and want to adopt him but also that’s such a cool horror aesthetic” and THE MOMENT I REALIZED THE THREE OF THEM WERE BECOMING FRIENDS. AND THEY STAY FRIENDS? UNTIL JEROME DIES IN THE AFOREMENTIONED EPISODE? WITHOUT BACKSTABBING EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH ALL THREE OF THEM ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE PEOPLE IN GOTHAM? I’m here for it.

Favorite character: Jerome Valeska. Most days. Sometimes Jervis can weirdly edge him out? Anyway, I have seven villains who are near and dear to my heart in this show and that’s Jerome, Jervis, Jon, Victor Zsasz, Headhunter, Magpie, and Jeri my beloveds Least favorite character: Theo Galavan but only pre-Azrael. Azrael!Galavan can stay. He’s fun and got the best death scene...in any television show ever. OTP: Crossover - Jerome Valeska x Junko Enoshima (DanganRonpa). Non-crossover - I was honestly surprised by how much Nygmobblepot was able to HOOK me and how it actually managed to use the turbulent times of their relationship to make the conclusion of their arc stronger. Like, I was prepped to just get made sad by this ship because I knew about all the dysfunction, but I didn’t realize that dysfunction actually got WORKED THROUGH and the show ended on them being unshakeable partners in crime. (Though, uh...*slides you $100* Can I get some more details on Zsasz and Headhunter? Please? I love both of them and I love them together and if they’d had more screentime they might’ve kicked Nygmobblepot for my fave non-crossover ship) Favorite non-romantic relationship: Let it be known that I don’t ship any combo of Jerome+Jervis+Jon but I need them to be TOGETHER. But also, for a more traditional - Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock are that exact type of friendship where I could never truly ship them but their friendship means EVERYTHING. (See? I can focus on heroes in this show too.) Favorite villain/arc: Oh gee I don’t know. Take a guess ;-) Least favorite villain/arc: Galavan’s intro arc. Blegh. Also, Ra’s is a good character but I feel like every time he’s turned up, the rest of the show has just plunged into THE ANGST PIT. 5 songs I associate with it and why:

1. “Such Horrible Things” by Creature Feature - my Jerome theme song

2. “Never Wanted to Dance” by Mindless Self-Indulgence - my Jervis theme song

3. “Bang!” by AJR - my personal theme song for “the J-squad is fucking things up and leading a throng of cultists in clown makeup through the streets”

4. “Wake Up” by H.U.M.A.N.W.I.N.E. - another J-squad theme song, specifically one that gives me the vibes of if you just let Jervis and Jon hang out together and took Jerome away from them for a while (like, y’know, what happened after he died - I’m gonna say this song is the vibe for the two of them sending their résumés to Jeremiah in unison)

5. “Funkytown” by Lipps Inc. - CANONICALLY ZSASZ’S RINGTONE AND THE MOMENT I KNEW I LOVED HIM

[thereluctantinquisitor]

First Name Basis

My contribution to the sci-fi round of @daficswap! For @nyctalis, featuring her and @noctvrnis‘ OC, Lloyd Trevelyan. 

Mass Effect 2 AU, in which Commander Lloyd of the Normandy SR2 and Cerberus crew member Dorian Pavus finally decide there might be more to their relationship than playful banter...

Approx 3000 words. Contains fluff, humour, and a little alone time... (pretty much SFW though) <3

“Dorian, how’s the IES?”

“Doing well enough, as far as concealing a giant tub of metal hurtling through the vacuum of space goes.”

Lloyd sighed, but couldn’t quite fight off the smile that crept across his face as he glanced back towards the dark-haired man. Dorian, their resident Biotic Researcher – who also just happened to be both a biotic and a researcher - was leaning forward, peering at one of the many monitors that lined the hub. The orange glow of the screen warmed his skin, and those keen grey eyes flicked back and forth, reading measurements and system reports with the ease of a politician scanning headlines for mention of his own name.

“Funny,” Dorian continued, straightening up and placing his hands on his hips, still distracted by the on-screen analytics, “how no one is alarmed by the fact that our entire stealth system could be foiled by someone looking out the window. Quite the oversight, yes?”

“I don’t know,” Lloyd replied, purposely drawing out the words in an effort to tease. “Not many out here bother to stop and enjoy the view. We humans seem more ah… concerned with that.”

Dorian looked over his shoulder, brow arched, and the intent behind Lloyd’s comment was made all too clear by his line of sight, which was fixated firmly on the curves of Dorian’s posterior. In Lloyd’s defense, the standard issue uniform left very little to the imagination for everyone aboard the Normandy SR2. Part of Lloyd assumed it was some kind of Cerberus conspiracy; a way to test the crew’s ability to maintain eye-contact with one another during conversations. A true trial by fire if ever there was one, considering how quickly Dorian had nudged his way to the front of Lloyd’s mind despite his reservations. It was always the little things; a quip here, a gesture there. Observations missed by the rest of the crew. Dorian had a kind of presence that demanded attention, but also deserved it. He was bright in more ways than one, and Lloyd often found himself simply listening with a half-drawn smile as the man talked about his research with more passion than a krogan waiting to undertake the Rite.

“Well, happy to be of service,” Dorian replied offhandedly, although the smirk on his face led Lloyd to believe that distraction had been a part of his plan from the very start. “And here I thought you’d never be able to see past my employer.”

The suddenness of the comment caught Lloyd off-guard, and he stared at Dorian for a long moment, not quite sure of what to say. It was true enough, really. The Illusive Man had placed him in a situation that was leagues away from ideal, but at the same time, it was Cerberus that had kept him alive. The organisation he had spent so long thwarting had given him a second chance at life, even if much of that chance revolved around his compliance with a plan that remained half veiled in secrecy. But more than anything, he hated being commanded around the galaxy like a dog trapped in a perpetual game of fetch with a ball he could neither see nor catch.

But he also hated that he’d made that dislike so obvious to someone he was finding more and more alluring with each passing day.

“You know I’m no fan of Cerberus or the Illusive Man,” Lloyd said. He reached up, cracking his knuckles absently as he continued to talk beneath that quartz-grey stare. “But it’s… different. Somehow. Your boss is pretty much what I expected, but you? Miranda? Jacob?” He shook his head, letting out a tight, frustrated sigh. “It would have made things a lot less confusing if you’d all been a merry bunch of assholes, you know. So… thanks for that.”

Responding with a laugh, Dorian folded his arms and cocked his head to the side, regarding Lloyd with a fetching mixture of curiosity and amusement. “Why, anything to keep it interesting! But to set your mind at ease, I am willing to don a dark cloak and twirl my mustache more often. Perhaps even throw in a villainous monologue here and there, provided you make it worth my while.”

“Worth your while, huh?” Lloyd caught on to those last few words faster than he’d ever caught on to anything in his life. “So a trade, then?”

“Naturally.” Dorian pressed his fingertips to his chest in an emphatic gesture of hurt. “Surely you don’t believe I would go to such lengths for nothing. I am a busy man, you know.” He punctuated his words with a sweep of his palm towards the row of monitors. “These screens won’t read themselves.”

“I’m pretty sure we have an AI for that.”

“Oh come now, we all know EDI is about two miss-clicks away from dooming us all to a life of robotic servitude.”

“I heard that,” responded a disembodied female voice, wringing a laugh out of both Dorian and Lloyd as they stood facing each other in the corridor.

“Ah, I mean no disrespect, of course,” Dorian added hastily, raising his hands in front of him as if to fend off a disagreeable varren. “Although I imagine listening to our beloved pilot wax-poetic at you would require a resolve of steel.”

“Partially correct. My core is approximately 18.98% steel, 28.1% titanium, 8.75% alu—”

“—Yes, thank you EDI,” Lloyd interrupted quickly, a smile still tugging incessantly at the corner of his lips. The AI seemed to accept his words as a polite dismissal – a fact that Lloyd found both intriguing and alarming – and ceased to respond further. Meeting Dorian’s gaze, they both raised their brows in unison, then succumbed to the urge to chuckle at the awkwardness of the exchange.

“It’s strange, knowing that you’re being watched all the time,” Lloyd noted quietly, although he doubted the volume of his voice would make much difference in the matter.

“A mite uncomfortable, agreed.” Dorian paused thoughtfully, then wet his lips with his tongue. The movement was almost subconscious, but spoke to a measure of nervousness that hovered behind the next words he spoke. “Perhaps we could... continue our conversation elsewhere? Surely there is a place aboard this ship with even a scant amount of privacy.”

Just as Lloyd opened his mouth to reply, EDI’s voice sounded again, buzzing from the nearby intercoms.

“The areas I do not monitor include: all bathrooms and showers, crew sleeping quarters, the Commander’s private—”

“— That’ll do,” Lloyd declared, and he smirked, gesturing down the corridor towards the elevator. “Shall we, then?”

Dorian’s mouth slid into a pleased smile of his own, the expression leaving Lloyd strangely breathless, as though his uniform was suddenly too tight around the neck.

“Indeed, we shall.”

“Well, I am certainly glad you care more about your crew than your fish.”

Lloyd grimaced, reaching up to rub his neck awkwardly. He was sweating slightly, his shoulder-length brown hair damp against the back of his moving hand. It had nothing to do with the temperature of the Normandy, which EDI maintained at a perfectly comfortable level unless she was teaching Joker a lesson in consequences. Rather, it had to do with his company, and the fact that they, for what felt like the first time, were truly alone.

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have got those,” he admitted sheepishly, eying the colourful array of upside-down bodies bobbing near the top of the tank. “By the time I drag myself up here the only thing on my mind is passing out on the bed.”

“Indeed, only to be woken up by alarms, no doubt,” Dorian noted. “Feeding fish is quite a low priority, I imagine, under such trying circumstances.”

Lloyd snorted in agreement at that, turning away from the tank. Dorian had already moved on, wandering the space of his private quarters like a curator admiring a new exhibit. His footsteps rang softly off the metallic floor, rhythmic and soothing in a manner that was unique to him in a way Lloyd couldn’t quite explain. Pausing, Dorian leaned forward to examine an empty frame on Lloyd’s desk.

“Quite the odd choice,” he mused, picking it up and turning towards Lloyd, holding it in the air pointedly. “I take it there is no deep significance to the empty frame, yes? Or at least, I certainly hope there isn’t, lest I fulfill your expectations of all Cerberus members being... what was it? A merry bunch of assholes?”

Lloyd laughed, strolling over to stand just behind him. “No, no meaning,” he said with a smile at Dorian’s artful backpedaling. “I just haven’t really found something to fill it yet.” He paused thoughtfully, then nodded back towards the tank. “I don’t suppose a picture of dead fish would fit the room’s décor, would it?”

“If you wished to kill the mood as well, then by all means.” Dorian chuckled, shaking his head as he replaced the frame on the table with the soft clink of metal on metal. “Although, and forgive me for saying so, you hardly strike me as the type to invite someone to your quarters for no reason, Commander.”

“Lloyd.”

The comment seemed to catch Dorian by surprise. He turned, regarding Lloyd for a time, as if leafing through a thousand-page manual on protocol in his mind, hunting for the appropriate response. Then, with just as much enthusiasm, he seemed to mentally toss the tome aside and straightened, meeting the Commander’s green eyes as he did so. They held one another’s gaze in a way that would have made more sense had it been accompanied by a firm hand-shake. Instead a few feet of empty air separated them, and Lloyd became acutely aware of it. Acutely aware of his increasing desire to breach it in a single purposeful step.  

“... Lloyd,” Dorian repeated eventually, slowly, as if testing the word and finding its shape pleasing on his tongue. His lips curved into a smile that was surprisingly soft, and Lloyd found his heart hurrying to applaud its presence with a flurry of eager beating. Dorian continued, and while he kept his tone relatively light, there was a hesitance that trailed the words like a late-afternoon shadow. “I... take it that is a privilege reserved for these more private occasions?”

Ah. Lloyd’s first instinct was to raise his brows in surprise, but he knew better than to take offense at the comment. After all, they both held very specific roles aboard the ship, and Dorian’s hesitation was by no means a personal sleight. But at the same time, Lloyd sensed his response had the potential to rip apart whatever was building between them like wet paper in careless fingers. A part of him wanted to take a moment to weigh up his options. To think things through, utilising the full capacity of his already clever mind to find the right answer. The answer Dorian wanted to hear.

Instead, he found his lips moving before he even had a chance to consult his brain for input.

“Reserved? No. Not at all.” Betrayed by his own rogue mouth, Lloyd had little choice but to commit to its obvious implication. He smiled and stepped forward, closing some of the distance between them, aware that Dorian was caught between him and the table that housed the empty frame. Knowing this, he did not push too far, and left more than enough room for a hasty apology regarding misread intentions to slide between them should it desire. “I think it would suit us both to be on first name basis with each other, don’t you think?”

Dorian watched him, but made no attempt to move away. He stood with the back of his thighs against the table’s edge, the few inches of height Lloyd had over him inviting him to tilt his head up ever so slightly to meet him eye-to-eye. Something burned between them. Something that had been ignited the first time Dorian had introduced himself, and smouldered ever since like the embers of a fire that had never been properly extinguished. The urge to reach out and run his thumb along the curve of Dorian’s lips was near overwhelming, but Lloyd fought against it, hesitant to rush things despite the long months they had spent at each other’s side.

“Yes, I imagine it would,” Dorian agreed in a voice quieted by reverence as opposed to timidity. “I just... well, I never thought…”

“Never thought…?” Lloyd prompted, his voice also hushed the way a whispered message is often replied to with the same level of secrecy. The corner of Dorian’s lips twitched upwards into the rueful smile of a man used to expecting the worst even when on the verge of being pleasantly surprised.

“Your situation is far from ideal, Comm— ah, Lloyd. In truth, I didn’t believe you would ever see me as anything but a puppet, same as you saw yourself.” He glanced away with a surprisingly bitter chuckle. “Perhaps I am, in a way. Dancing along to music that is familiar but not necessarily right. It is hard to say, when you have spent majority of your life free of outside perspective…”

He trailed off in mute surprise as Lloyd raised his hand, curling his finger beneath Dorian’s chin and coaxing his gaze up from where it had slipped towards the floor. Grey eyes met green, and for a heart-stopping moment Lloyd feared he had miss-stepped. But… no. It wasn’t fear in Dorian’s eyes, despite the way they had widened slightly at the gentleness of the gesture. His pupils were dark and inviting, watching him with the unwavering stare of a hawk uncertain if it was hungry or curious, before deciding it was a mixture of both. Feeling his heart beating in the base of his throat, Lloyd leaned in, Dorian’s gaze tugging on him with a force as irresistible as gravity. When their lips finally met, the hesitance melted away in a matter of seconds, the product of months of flirtation. Weeks of idle touches. Days of lingering stares on uniformed backs. 

Hours spent lying in an empty bed knowing exactly what was missing.

Dorian made a soft sound – something between a hum and a moan – and slid his hands up Lloyd’s back in an effort to drawn him closer. Hardly in need of further encouragement, Lloyd leaned forward, running his hands along the line of Dorian’s waist until his palms were planted flat against the table to either side of his hips. Pinned in the most willing way possible, Dorian responded by rising onto his toes and seating himself on the desk’s surface, spreading his legs to allow Lloyd to press in closer, which he did without a moment’s hesitation. 

Pressed close as they were, aware of heat and breath and tight standard-issue fabric, it would have been impossible for them to part of their own accord. Free will abandoned Lloyd and he watched it go with the glee of an off-duty soldier waving sunnily at the on-duty patrol. Dorian, too, shivered beneath his touch, wrapping his legs around his waist for balance and other purposes. Intertwined and still caught in a cloud of disbelief, the pair clashed teeth in shock when the intercom suddenly blared to life, a voice rushing to fill the space once reserved for the sound of tongues testing new and enticing waters.

“Commander? Uh, Commander, are you there?”

“I swear to…” Lloyd growled hoarsely, tipping his head forward to rest against Dorian’s shoulder, uncaring of the light sheen of sweat that had gathered on his brow. He felt the man chuckle then tap him pointedly on the upper arm, urging him to speak. “What, Joker?” Lloyd answered finally, his voice firm and clipped despite the jelly-like consistency of his knees.

“Well, our pal the Illusive Man is trying to get hold of you. Please don’t leave me here to make small talk again. Pretty sure he already wants me dead, and I get the impression he doesn’t really care how good a pilot I am.”

“The probability of that being true is approximately 85%,” came EDI’s voice, distant as it was picked up by Joker’s headset, “based on tone analysis of your last conversation.”

“Yeah, thanks EDI. I feel much better now.”

Groaning quietly, Lloyd drew away from Dorian with the reluctance of a man leaving the warmth of a hot spring to face a blizzard. But he caught sight of an understanding – if not slightly breathless – smile, and swept forward once more to claim another deep, throat-rumbling kiss from the man who was finally so close it was maddening.

“I’ll… I’ll be right there, Joker,” Lloyd responded with a half-drawn gasp. He was rewarded by a low chuckle from Dorian and an extended pause from the intercom.

“Uh… is this a bad time? Like, I mean, not that I’m suggesting you’re—”

“—Joker,” Dorian interrupted languidly, rolling his eyes and tilting his face towards the intercom. “Kindly shut up, if you please. He said he would be right there, did he not?”

Stunned silence followed, lending the surprised expression on Lloyd’s face even more weight as he stared at Dorian. 

Huh. He had just assumed…

“I ah, hope that wasn’t too forward of me,” Dorian said, smirking slightly as he reached up to card his fingers through Lloyd’s loose brown hair. “You did say we were not restricted to privacy, after all.”

Lloyd let the momentary surprise melt into a chuckle as he leaned into Dorian’s touch. “Hmm... so I did.”

“A-Ah, I… right. Okay then…” Joker cleared his throat theatrically, as though about to deliver a toast at a friend’s wedding. “Look, I’ll be the first to say it’s about time, but could you maybe… I don’t know… wait a week?”

Frowning, Lloyd angled himself back towards the intercom, hands still on Dorian’s waist. “What? Why?”

“I… might have had a bet going with Garrus.”

“I have already informed the turian of his winnings.”

“Are you seri—?! Ugh… thanks EDI. You’re a real pal, you know that?”

“You are welcome, Jeff.”

Dorian laughed, to Lloyd’s surprise, then leaned forward to press his lips close to his ear. His breath wafted over the sensitive skin, sending a fleet of shivers sailing down Lloyd’s spine. “Go on, then. I’ll be here when you are done.”

Groaning in a mixture of want and frustration, Lloyd closed his eyes and nodded tightly, willing his heart to steady itself in preparation for a far less pleasing interaction with a very different member of Cerberus.

“God, I hope so,” he growled, then reluctantly drew away, reaching up to comb unsteady fingers through his tousled hair. A quiet buzzing was the only sound that filled the air for a moment, then Joker’s quiet, sheepish voice wandered awkwardly into the semi-silence.

“Yeah… I’m just gonna hang up now.”

[geekade]

Pokemon Propitiation: Day 819

The importance of saving one's game can not be overstated. 

I may have mentioned here before that my son has gained an affinity for Rhythm Heaven. As it turns out, an excellent new Rhythm Heaven game recently came out on 3DS. 3DS is also where I've been playing Pokemon Blue, and lately, I've been hauling ass. I've gotten into a nice rhythm of playing again on a regular basis and have without a doubt surpassed my previous attempted playthrough's progress point. I'm seeing new stuff, and I've got stories to tell. But a few days ago, my beloved son wanted to play Rhythm Heaven Megamix with me. So he went into my room, grabbed my 3DS, which had my current Pokemon game suspended, opened it up, and somehow managed to quit the game without saving (he's only 3 and doesn't really know how to operate my 3DS) effectively killing about 3 days of progress. Considering that this is day 819 and I've only just beaten the 3rd gym leader, you can see how losing 3 days of progress is pretty painful. I'm also just now looking at a list of gym leaders, and I certainly have a long road ahead of me. Anyway...

Before my game got bumped back, I found myself in Vermilion City. I had dealt with the Team Rocket asshole who robbed that dude's house and decided to just chill in the backyard instead of, you know, going anywhere. Now it was time to see the sights. I went through a suspicious tunnel because some guards told me they were thirsty or something. No really, I have no idea what the living shit that was about. They aren't even blocking the way. I could just leisurely stroll past them and they'd never catch me. They're behind giant desks. Ugh, whatever. Just let an unaccompanied minor traverse some underground tunnels to get to the next town. I swear, I don't know what's weirder, the people of this world or its geography. Once I made it out of the tunnel, I came across some grassy patches, and wouldn't you know, there was a whole group of assholes just standing there in the grass waiting to challenge me to a duel. Well, jokes on you jerks, because I've been grinding my Pokemon like a motherfucker, and I am ready to kick all of the ass.

My Wartortle still looks like an fool, but he's a powerhouse. Also, I've managed to bring my entire team up to his level, so I've got a bunch of fairly strong dudes ready for almost any situation. I've got my Geodude who as long as there's no water around seems nigh invincible, my Pikachu for equal parts ass kicking and adorability, and my Ratatta, my first buddy, ready to kick ass and take names. And ass I did kick. These fools didn't know what hit them. In hindsight, I'm pretty fortunate I got the chance to do this part over again, because it's these idiots who are the real treasure troves of experience points, and I was about to get my first Meowth. I don't know why, but I like this little guy. I don't understand his payday attack, but he does some decent damage, and he's cute. When I had to start over and re-catch Meowth, I did it without challenging any of these jokers to a fight first, and was able to get him a nice little boost of XP in a short period of time. 

The other thing I started doing before the great deletion was check out the S.S. Anne. The great and powerful Bill had given me a ticket after all, so why not have a look around. It was here where I had my first genuinely reasonable Pokemon battle. The first room I walked into had an old man in it. I walked up to him and he basically just freaked out at me for walking into his room uninvited. You know what? I'd yell at me too. I had just become so accustomed to everyone being completely insane in this game, that when this dude was like "What the fuck are you doing in my room? Get out or I'm gonna kick your ass!" and threw his pets at me, I genuinely felt bad about winning. What kind of asshole wanders into a stranger's room on a cruise ship? Apparently, this asshole. I truly am one with the world of Pokemon now. 

As I traveled from room to room, I came to understand that this boat was just chock full of shit heads just waiting for people to walk in and challenge. Me, being on a mission to level up my Meowth, kept tossing him out and seeing how far he could get in battle. Every time his health got low, I'd walk all the way back to town ad heal him up at the pokemon center. Time consuming? yes. Efficient? Fuck no. But it's the only option that doesn't involve me blowing all my cash on potions, so whatever. On one of my trips back I realized that I was walking on a long dock to get to and from the ship. I also remembered that some dude gave me a fishing rod at some point. So I gave it a shot and what do you know? I'm in a battle with a Magikarp!

I'm pretty sure I had one of these bastards the last time I played this game, but I can't for the life of me remember how I came across it. All I know is that I wanted him to have a good life and get strong, so I trained him as best I could. I did not, however, have a Magikarp in my roster this go around. I immediately threw a Pokeball at this little guy and made him my own. It was shortly after this when my game got zapped. Again, it was a blessing in disguise because this time around I caught the Magikarp before going into the ship in the first place, and by the time I was done with the S.S. Anne, my fishy friend was leveled up enough to actually throw an attack at someone! Not an effective one, mind you, but an attack nonetheless. 

At some point when I was  going back and forth to various places grinding or healing, I found some dude who wanted to trade a bird for a duck. I don't remember the name of the thing, but it had an apostrophe in its name, which sounded exotic, so I went for it. I'm glad I did, because it seems to be the only pokemon I have that can learn cut, which I can finally do. I learned it from the captain of the S.S. Anne. He wasn't feeling very well. I met him after beating up a bunch of sailors. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I'd have an occasion to write that string of sentences. 

Fortified with my cut ability, I cut down a branch and checked out the gym and its leader, Lt. Surge. The thought occurred to me, how did all these people get into this gym if that plant was in the way? Can everyone in this game besides me just walk past things like trees? Whatever. It's gym leader time. I had my group all set and ready for a fierce battle. The few times I've fought gym leaders before this were long yet ultimately winnable battles. I was ready for the long haul, but instead I beat his ass into the ground. See, by this point, I had not only leveled my guys up enough to be a virtual murder squad, but my Ratatta had managed to evolve into a Raticate. AND SHIT GOT REAL. I love this guy. If I was in the game, I would have yelled at my squirtle and said "Look at this motherfucker right here. This is how you evolve. Not with those dorky ear wings or whatever they are!" Oh man, I feel like every time I pull this guy out the pokemon on the other end is crapping their nonexistent pants. Raticate looks fucking terrifying. I love him dearly. So with Raticate on hand, and the rest of my crew, Lt. Surge (who looks an awful lot like Street Fighter's Guile) went down. Even his Raichu, which I will admit was kind of intimidating at first, but the whole fight was like nothing. Weird. 

After leaving with my shiny new badge, I headed in the only direction I hadn't gone yet (mostly because I have completely forgotten what the plot is at this point) and came across some more assholes with nothing better to do than toss their pets at strangers, and something called Diglett's cave. I walked around in there for about 5 minutes and called it a day. 

I have less than 200 days before I hit 1000 days at this. Do you think I can do it? I certainly hope so...