#JD Vance couch fucking liar

[socialjusticeinamerica]

All Republican attacks are personal and never substantive.

[cleolinda]

Re: Couch fucking

Since people saw “JD Vance fucked a couch” mentioned in the “Tampon Tim: He’ll stop the red wave” post and went “What? JD Vance fucked a couch?,” no, he did not fuck a couch in his youth. The rumor was started by a random shitpost on the service I will continue to call Twitter until the heat death of the universe:

(Archived by Snopes, now view-limited by the author)

@rickrudescalves

can't say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181)

7:58 PM • Jul 15, 2024 • 1.8M Views

No draft or edition of Vance’s book Hillbilly Elegy ever said any such thing, but the inclusion of page numbers made “JD Vance fucked a couch” look very truthy (file this away as a tactic to look for in other propaganda you see). Neither Vance nor the Trump campaign can fully deny this because that would only draw more attention to the concept of “Vice presidential candidate JD Vance fucked a couch.” In great frustration, a campaign spokesman has finally said,

"We're not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into. When we have something to say, we'll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we'll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we'll call him a liar.”

JD Vance then proceeded to lie about Tim Walz’s 24-year military record, calling it “stolen valor.”

As much as people enjoyed Walz’s quip that he would love to debate Vance if Vance would be “willing to get off the couch,” I do agree that Democrats should not stoop to such Republican tactics as (off the top of my head)

Telling lies about presidential candidate John Kerry’s military service (which inspired the general term “swiftboating” “to describe an unfair or untrue political attack”)

Claiming that then-presidential candidate Barack Obama was born in Kenya and not an American citizen, which would disqualify him, leading to an entire “birther” movement headed by Donald Trump

Accusing Democrats of trafficking children in the basement of a pizza parlor that had no basement, leading one man who sincerely believed this to “[travel] to Comet Ping Pong to investigate the conspiracy and [fire] a rifle inside the restaurant to break the lock on a door to a storage room during his search”

Claiming that North American schools keep kitty litter on hand for students who “identify as cats,” a “joke” meant to target protections for transgender students

And, as mentioned, splitting hairs over exactly what rank Tim Walz had vs what he retired at, elevating this to a far more serious accusation of stolen valor. In fairness, this is probably revenge for the couch thing.

So yes, I agree, we shouldn’t use the same tactics that the Republicans have been using for decades. It’s tasteless and it does not make us look better. I would perhaps remind you of the saying “Live by the sword, die by the sword,” but yes, we should stop confusing people into thinking that JD Vance fucked a couch. No couch was ever fucked by JD Vance. I endorse this message.

[vintageseawitch]

the most consistent stance jd "okay, good couch lover" vance had been consistent on is his sheer loathing of women, specifically those without children (that some have the "right" bits to carry a fetus but are infertile for whatever reason means nothing to him except they're not "real" women to him i'm sure). to all of us paying attention it's clear he has some serious mommy issues that he should go to therapy for instead of gaining unearned political power (since they will try to cheat to win). i think it goes further than that: i think he not only hates his mother but he has womb envy.

he talks shit about single, childless women, living their lives & being "miserable in their careers" or some such nonsense... but that's exactly what his wife was doing before they got married. then she bore him several children. oh, he freaking HATES that!! he wasn't the one who gave them life, it was a someone who was born with the right equipment & he was sadly not one of them!

between the pics of him in drag thay have been unearthed (maybe he was in costume, who knows), him admitting he once thought he was gay as a child (granted, this was in his book, so take this with a grain of salt... but still), & his relentless messages that he doubles down on with insulting women who are simply living their lives without a man when they could totally be having children right now!! why AREN'T they???? can't you see how miserable they all are???? & that they want us ALL to be miserable, too????

bruh. serious projection there. it's all a confession to me. you're big mad because you want to be the one that gives life so badly but you weren't born with the right bits to do this & since the cosmic odds have made it so billions of other people are born with it instead of him he's now making it everyone's problem. he hates us all for existing & instead of getting psychiatric help with his issues he's instead wanting a repeat of the rise of the Third Reich & all it took was selling whatever bits of a soul he had left for $15 million to a European, gay billionaire who while being married to a man himself ALSO loathes gay people so, you know, like attracts like.

jd vance is stupid, insipid, evil, stands up for nothing so will fall for anything, & weird. he once stated that he's "never been a trump guy" & that trump is "America's Hitler" & instead of standing with the rest of us who are seeing just how horrifying it is, he's on the side to make sure he wins.

trump is clearly falling apart before our very eyes. he's got some serious decline going on there. i think at this point they're expecting him to die & with vance as his vp he will then become president. you think trump was bad, who is only out for himself & saving his own hide, but vance? in deep with the Heritage Foundation & the likes of peter thiel (he looks like the ghoul he truly is) & curtis yarvin (he thinks that people who don't work - & this includes people who simply can't - should be turned into biofuel. he was "just joking" of of course. all sociopathic fascists are when faced like this)? this uncooked weenie of a person who is also really fucking evil will be our president instead. as pathetic as he is he should still be taken seriously. in the end, womb-envy vance is our real problem. his spine is the puppet strings the fascist elite hold him up by. he will sell out his wife & children if it will make his rich daddies happy.

they're evil & they can't win. we need to fucking stop them. please vote!! NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT PROJECT 2025 OR AGENDA 47. THEY'RE THE SAME PLAN. trump is a fucking liar. he doesn't talk about policy because Project 2025 IS his policy. fuck outta here. check your registration status often especially in blue states. let's fucking do this 💙