#Its not as clear and defined as I wanted it to be
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chlerc Ā· 3 days ago
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hidden recordings ; charles leclerc
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ā€” summary; you never realised how sentimental and adorable charles could be until you come across the black box tucked away in a corner of a drawer.
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pairing ā€” highschool-best-friend-charles leclerc x f. reader ( third person story )
word count ā€” 1172.
content ā€” 5 short recordings he recorded just to remember you, and how he secretly wishes youā€™d stumble upon it one day. he loves you a lot, like a loooottttttt. youā€™re it for him.
NAVIGATION + authorā€™s note: i love this vcr love confession concept so much, itā€™s so cute recording things and people that means the most to you. happy chinese new year :o
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THE LATE AFTERNOON SUNLIGHT FILTERED softly through the window, casting a warm, amber glow across the apartment as she worked her way through the cluttered shelves. It was supposed to be a simple day of tidying up ā€” a routine chore that had grown overdue ā€” but as always, the small, nostalgic things had a way of slowing her down. Dust motes danced in the air as she opened an old, wooden box tucked away in the corner of a drawer, a box she had almost forgotten. Its contents were a time capsule of sorts, filled with small mementos and keepsakes that had survived the years ā€” photographs, letters, concert tickets, and little trinkets that had woven themselves into the fabric of her relationship with Charles.
A small smile tugged at her lips as she sifted through the items, fingers brushing over the worn edges of a photograph of them as children, their innocent grins forever preserved in time. It was a testament to how far theyā€™d come, from childhood friends to something far deeper, a bond that had grown over years of shared experiences and memories. As she dug further into the box, her hand paused as it closed around something unfamiliar ā€” a small, black thumb drive, half-buried beneath a stack of old letters.
Her brow furrowed in curiosity as she pulled it out, turning it over in her fingers. It wasnā€™t labelled, and for a moment, she wondered what it could contain. Charles was never one to leave things lying around without a reason, and this had clearly been tucked away for some time. Her curiosity piqued, she reached for her laptop, a quiet hum of intrigue settling over her as she plugged the thumb drive into the port.
The screen flickered to life, revealing a folder containing five short video files. No titles, just numbered sequences ā€” each one simple and unassuming, yet they called to her like fragments of a forgotten story. With a small click, she opened the first file, and her heart skipped a beat as the screen filled with the familiar face of Charles, much younger, his boyish charm evident even then.
He must have been in his early teens in this first video. His hair was a little unruly, the way it always used to be when he wasnā€™t bothered by appearances, and there was a hint of nervousness in the way he looked directly into the camera. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other before speaking. ā€œUh, hi,ā€ he began, his voice cracking slightly with the uncertainty of youth. ā€œSo, Iā€™m not really sure why Iā€™m doing thisā€¦ but I guess itā€™s just something I wanted to keep. A reminder, maybe. For her.ā€ There was a pause, and he ran a hand through his hair, glancing off-camera as if gathering his thoughts. ā€œSheā€™s always been there, you know? My best friendā€¦ even though Iā€™m older, I still think sheā€™s way braver than I am.ā€
A soft chuckle escaped her as she watched him stumble through his words, that endearing awkwardness still as familiar as ever. The screen flickered as the video ended, and without hesitation, she opened the next one. This time, Charles appeared a little older, his features more defined, his smile a little more confident.
ā€œItā€™s funny,ā€ he said, the camera slightly shaky as if he were holding it himself, ā€œI never realised how much she means to me until recently. Weā€™ve always been together, and itā€™s likeā€¦ itā€™s always been her. I donā€™t know how else to explain it.ā€ His gaze softened, and there was a vulnerability in his eyes that made her heart ache in the sweetest way. ā€œSheā€™s the one person who can make everything feel right, even when things are a mess. I think, no ā€” I know, Iā€™m in love with her. Iā€™ve been in love with her for longer than I knew.ā€
The words hung in the air, settling deep within her as she paused the video, feeling the weight of his confession even though it had been made years ago. It was a piece of him, captured in time, before they had ever taken that leap from friends to something more. She pressed play again, her heart caught in her throat.
The third video was taken during what looked like a school trip. The background was noisy, filled with the laughter of classmates and the hum of distant chatter. Charles was standing by a river, looking a little winded as if he had just finished some outdoor activity. ā€œSheā€™s going to laugh at this,ā€ he grinned, breathless but radiant. ā€œShe always teases me about being uncoordinated, but sheā€™s the one who nearly fell into the river earlier. I had to catch her ā€” again.ā€ His smile softened. ā€œI wouldnā€™t change a thing, though. Sheā€™sā€¦ sheā€™s my favourite person in the world.ā€
By the fourth video, she found herself holding back tears. In this one, he was visibly older, perhaps just before he left for university. His expression was more serious, the playful boyishness replaced with something more resolute. ā€œIā€™m leaving soon,ā€ he began, his voice quieter, as though he were speaking directly to her even though she wasnā€™t there. ā€œAnd it terrifies me. I donā€™t know what itā€™s going to be like, being apart for the first time inā€¦ ever. But I know one thing for sure: no matter where I go, or how long weā€™re apart, Iā€™ll always come back to her. I have to. Sheā€™sā€¦ sheā€™s home.ā€
Her hands trembled slightly as she clicked on the final video, her breath catching in her chest. In this one, Charles was as she knew him now ā€” his familiar face filling the screen with that smile that always seemed to disarm her. ā€œIf youā€™re watching this,ā€ he said softly, ā€œthen youā€™ve found it. I wasnā€™t sure if you ever would, but I hoped you might.ā€ His eyes glimmered with affection, his smile gentle. ā€œYouā€™ve always been the best part of my life. From the very beginning. I made these videos because I wanted to remember ā€” wanted you to remember ā€” how much youā€™ve always meant to me. Iā€™ve loved you for a long time, and Iā€™m going to keep loving you for the rest of my life.ā€
Her vision blurred as the final video ended, the stillness of the room punctuated by the steady hum of the laptop. She sat there for a long moment, overwhelmed by the depth of what she had just witnessed ā€” memories of Charles, preserved like fragments of a love story that spanned years. Each video was a testament to the quiet, unwavering devotion that had always existed between them, even before they had given it a name.
As she closed the laptop, her heart swelled with an indescribable warmth. This was their story ā€” one that began in childhood and grew into something more, something profound. And as she held the thumb drive in her hand, she knew that whatever lay ahead, they would always have these memories to hold onto.
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apenitentialprayer Ā· 1 day ago
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Okay, time to reveal I am one of those Catholics, I guess, because I feel that this post is begging for a response. Because even if you kind of get it, the second paragraph shows you don't get all (or even most) of it. And before I continue, I want to say that the question of whether or not the Christian community should be affirming for the LGBT community is an important one, because this issue has real and concrete ramifications on people, some of whom I love personally and deeply, all of whom I am supposed to love compassionately. But this is really about a deeper issue that you sort of but unsatisfactorily touch upon in your original post. Because the Catholic Church makes an insanely high-stakes truth claim: that She is the institution founded by Christ, in which His Mystical Body subsists, who is indefectible in Her loyalty and inerrant in Her teaching. That does not mean, of course, that the Church's positions and stances cannot change. There have obviously been many times where the Church has clarified its position on something, which narrows the spectrum of stances that Catholics can take, even if it means excluding stances that were historically permissible; the Church can rearticulate its positions to make them more intelligible to new cultural contexts; the Church can even shift orientation in its policies to suit new social contexts so long as those policies don't violate the essential teaching; but what the Church is not supposed to be able to do is contradict itself on defined teaching. That's why, for example, I didn't think it was a big deal back in 2018 when the Church rejected the death penalty despite permitting it in the past; it expressed this teaching in such a way that it was clear that the death penalty still was not considered intrinsically evil, but the social conditions have changed enough that there are sufficient available alternatives that to make use of it is no longer justifiable. And, to put more of my chips on the table, that's why:
I would not be upset (I would even like it) if the Church was to soften its stance on no-fault divorce, provided it continued to be as equally stringent about the fact that marriage is indissoluble and that those who do divorce should not remarry.
I would not automatically leave if the Catholic Church were to start to ordain women, but I would need a really, really, really darn good explanation for it if I am going to stay.
I can foresee hypothetical situations in which a Catholic-Orthodox reunification could happen in a way that would require me to admit that I was backing the wrong Church.
I would have to leave if the Church ever declared that it was not sinful to have sex outside of marriage, as defined as one man and one woman in an indissoluble covenantal relationship.
And about the Church affirming homosexual relationships? I guess it depends on what you mean by affirming. I was happy to hear that the Italian Church no longer considers being openly gay an obstacle to entering the priesthood. I was incredibly delighted to hear that the Canadian bishops affirmed that love of whatever orientation finds its origin in God. I was also happy that the Nordic bishops said "in so far as [the aspirations of the gay rights movement] speak of the dignity of all human beings and of their longing to be seen, we share them." I loved Fiducia supplicans and the joy that I saw it brought to some members of the Catholic LGBT community. And when Cardinal Fernandez, the head inquisitor of the Catholic Church, suggested that part of pastoral responsibility for those living in regions where homosexuality is criminalized is "training [for] the defense of human dignity"? Elated. And in the realm of hypotheticals, I would even welcome a situation where the Church was to reintroduce adelphopoiesis as a liturgical pathway for gay couples. But if the Church were to declare that gay sex was not sinful, I would have to leave. Not because it would destroy all that is good and life giving and meaningful in Catholicism, but because it would mean that the Catholic Church is not what She claims to be. And whether that means I would be setting sail to investigate the viability of Orthodoxy's similarly high-stakes claim, or switching to a more humble branch of Christianity like Episcopalianism, I am unsure. But leaving would not be because I need gay people to suffer for my faith to survive (I would accept every action short of violating the Truth to eliminate that suffering), but because I had been wrong to have assumed the Catholic Church was the firm foundation set by Christ. Because if the Church were to completely reverse its stance on this issue, it would either have revealed itself to be defectible (if gay sex is sinful), or that its two millennia of unanimous teaching on this subject was errant (if it actually isn't). But, if the Church is what I think She is, this whole reply is a moot point, because She will not change her stance on this issue to the end of time.
lol I love when straight catholics are like if the church affirmed homosexuality i would leave bc she'd clearly be wrong and it'd undermine fundamental catholic doctrine cus like. I do somewhat get it. it'd certainly put a question mark over simplistic ideas of church authority. it does undermine credibility of the church and perhaps even of Christianity as a whole.
but also. the idea your faith is actively resting on not affirming gay people and would be destroyed if you discovered it was otherwise - that gay marriages would annihilate whatever else you found in Christianity that's good and life giving and meaningful - that feels a bit personal lol. and it's functionally saying 'I think lgbt peoples suffering is not just a sad fact of life but necessary for my own faith to exist; you need to be alienated from God so I can have my certainty Im doing the right thing'
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bananaede Ā· 10 months ago
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I actually finished it
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despazito Ā· 1 year ago
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for every bird design i like in this movie there's one that i'm really not a fan of..
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dashiellqvverty Ā· 6 months ago
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the thing about bbc merlin is that in many ways it is very tragic, in the sense that so much bad shit that happens could have easily been avoided if charcters had made different choices, hadn't been so wrapped up in prophecies, had trusted people and communicated openly literally ever, just generally got their heads out of their asses. like i know thats the point, they are trying so hard to do the right things and protect people but the story is unavoidable. HOWEVER it is all soooo fucking poorly executed that none of it is effective. so instead of thinking "wow what a tragic story about fate/destiny/whatever" you walk away like "well that fucking sucked for no reason. i hate that fuckass dragon" and i sometimes feel very cinemasins in the way i pick apart the logic but the thing is the show is written in a way that makes the characters come off as so stupid and always making terrible choices rather than like. tragic victims of circumstance.
#GOD i hate that fucking dragon#just rewatched the first mordred episode this show is so dumbbbbb#it IS often dumb in a fun campy silly way#it is MORE often dumb in a this is bad writing way#the thing that infuriates me about this episode/story is like#okay its one thing to do a story about the inevitability of a prophecy even when you try to avoid it#but thats not whats happening here#because the dragon who TELLS him the future is like. and you can stop it! by killing him!#and its like okay so the future CAN be changed. by killing a child.#but not by changing the circumstances that lead him to kill arthur in the first place#like obviously later on when that fear is what drives merlin to tell arthur magic should stay forbidden#HE IS SO DUMBBB STOP LISTENING TO THAT DRAGON#like obviously if arthur wasn't persecuting his people he wouldn't want to kill arthur......#banning magic didn't kill mordred the first time why would it work later..............#and ofc morgana worst written character of all time#its like they want to give these villains sympathetic backstories but forget that they need to end up villains#i dont remember as much about whats next for mordred but like#with morgana she is defined by her goodness!! anger towards uther and even arthur is one thing#but it is so clear that the one thing she would never do is harm her people#and they said oops how do we get out of this one. give her a weird incest thing with her secret sister who turned her suuuper evil offscree#r.txt#merlin
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moghedien Ā· 1 year ago
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honestly I find it really weird when people get mad at "cozy" or low stakes popcorny stories for not being deep and meaningful.
like no, shit, why on earth did you pick up the cozy book thinking you were gonna get gritty realism that had something to say about society. like you don't have to read those books, no one is making you, but literally the point of them is make you not have to worry and turn your brain off for a bit. like???? are we gonna get mad at "squeecore" again now? are we back here again??
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brittlebutch Ā· 2 months ago
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working on another I Like You Too fic btw. i got distracted by the whole HRT wait but Im back at it again :3
#N posts stuff#itā€™s not the fic where augustus also gets HRT sorry girlie#itā€™s the follow up to ā€˜lazyā€™ actually; the next step that is the slow burn of augustus & changelingā€™s relationship#i do mean slow burn. they donā€™t decide to become explicitly romantic until After augustus gets run over#which is also around the time the HRT will also come into play for her lol#win some lose some.#no they spend a While in an ambiguous queerplatonic soup#not because of a reluctance to confess romantic feelings tho i wanna be clear about that like. the QP isnā€™t just a transition state#itā€™s its own distinct state of the relationship developing. not just a transitory thing that only exists bc a confession hasnā€™t#to be honest iā€™m probably some shade of Aro-spec honestly bc iā€™ve been trying to hammer out the Feelings that Augustus and Changelinf have#but honestly canā€™t really come up with a solid touchstone in what Romantic Feelings feel like to define it for them. but even that aside#A&C were also both going to be relatively unskilled at defining their own feelings for each other. so the notion of moving to romance isnā€™t#like. a natural thing itā€™s kind of clumsily fit into place when they decide to take that step. so idk.#maybe itā€™d be more accurate to call that QP in its own right? but iā€™ll tackle that when i get there. at the very least itā€™s a definitive#Commitment talk after the accident. but right now changeling is still navigating ā€˜i think i want her to hug me again??ā€™ lol#like iā€™ve said before. eventually i know they start having sex and then eventually after that they Will get married#regardless of the intricacies of how youā€™d define their relationship that ceremony Is happening for them lol#but iā€™m not there yet!!! :3c#i like you too
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midnightdemonhunter Ā· 1 year ago
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Finally a guy with my sense of humor!
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theholidayslingerlikebadperfume Ā· 10 months ago
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it does NOT surprise me that there are SO MANY tabloid movies coming out being labelled as "documentaries" filled with "friend of a friend of a friend" claims or like heavily, heavily, heavily biased with a clear narrative the filmmaker wanted to push from the beginning that tells only one possible explanation of the truth.
usually if a documentary is trying really, really, really, really hard to make you think a certain way, it's a propaganda piece. you shouldn't have to force feed your audience the "right" opinion to take away from the film evidence. you should present the full story as accurately as possible with real historical evidence to back up the storyline and the audience will walk away with the right idea.
documentaries should not have an overly persuasive tone to them because you should be able to follow the facts to get to the right answer yourself. if you find yourself walking away from a documentary feeling nothing but "wow this proves exactly what i suspected to be true why arent more people angry about niche radicalizing viewpoint that most people find to be inaccurate" you should recognize that as the first step to being indoctrinated into extremist behaviors and thoughts.
#if someone starts telling me about how much they love watching documentaries and its all super emotional hit pieces on bad celebrities#im like BIG yikes and i stay clear from them emotionally like no fucking thank you#i am a snob about documentaries sorry and i have no idea if im right in my thinking i just think this is how it should be imo#yall should walk away from a documentary understanding how someone can come to the wrong conclusion about something#because the documentary should always present the opposing view point in as sympathetic light as possible#steel man the argument then use facts to demolize it#if a documentary about a controversial or political issue#documentaries that lie manipulate rely on emotional support rather thana factual support are bad imo#because it often radicalizes people to the wrong side once they find the steal man argument against ur position#there is a reason people believe certain things#for example my terfs are lying about the original definition of woman argument post#in it i accept the possibility that woman could be defined this way only if u insist on denying factual history#i explicitly state woman was a white female child because it forces well meaning terfs to investigate the truth of my claim#and it forces them to confront the fact that their argument against trans women can be applied to people they think are in fact real women#you have to be willing to engage with repulsive ideas to show why they're factually incorrect.#im not saying the tone has to be completely passive but you have to be FACTUAL with your documentaries.#i am genuinely of the opinion that the facts will convince anyone because all people just want to be right at the end of the day.
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls Ā· 10 months ago
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When I was making my first trying-to-be-serious ocs it was in the start of the 2010s (and I mean the START, 2010-2012) and there was a big ā€œanti Mary-sueā€ movement on deviantart (the website I spent half my internet time on and was posting my art on) and I liked to make my character designs pretty extra (although compared to modern stuff they look pretty normal) so I started to get self-conscious. At the time though I was watching soul eater (and there was another thing Iā€™m forgetting and itā€™s really frustrating me) and I saw that it was popular with a cool art style and the characters were extra AF, so I was like ā€œokay. Maybe, as long as I can draw my character often and consistently it doesnā€™t matter if they are wild!ā€ and you know what? Early teen me was RIGHT. Not about many things, but about this in particular she was!
#emma posts#girl was relying too heavily on character tropes and some stuff of that era#but she was so right about character design#if maybe using a few too many colors for each one#now people are just being wild with it and it fucking works#two examples I can think of in modern popular animation are mha/bnha and hazbin hotel (still havenā€™t watched that one)#but damn if those characters donā€™t look like some of my favorite early teen creations#and the artist made it WORK#i donā€™t think Iā€™ve gone quite as wild as bnha but you know what? one of my old worlds still could#Iā€™m sentimental about that one and even if Iā€™ve been stuck Iā€™m still taking that one with me forever#other projects might come and go. but (project currently named absolution) is constant#as well as its main cast. Iā€™ve been learning a bit more about some of the mythologies I used as inspiration and itā€™s been giving a lot of#ideas for how I can develop things. it has not solved a few hang ups though#the biggest one being what was the divide about and how was it defined?ā€™#itā€™s been made more gray as I learn more about mythology and folklore#the Christian aspects of it can be a bit clear. but others have more gray areas and i like it but it also makes things a bit frustrating#interestingly enough. flight rising having so many different species on one world has given me some ideas#I am a bit reluctant to use too much from outside certain cultures though. which can appear a bit biased and probably is. but I donā€™t want#to mess up something you canā€™t really change about a creature from a culture in less familiar with. it would be a dick move#but yeah. if death the kid can exist my weirdos can as well
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comma57 Ā· 2 years ago
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*walks into the room stumbling and covered in blood* hey everyone i made another heartbreaking observation of the dmc5 manga (spoilers below. of course)
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the first image is dante's expression seeing vergil's return in the LINE chapter. the second image is the edited version for the published volume. in the edit, his grimace is more downturned, and he has more wrinkles around his eyes and on his nose, the kind you would get from furrowing your brows and creasing your eyes (or as i like to call it, scrunching up your face).
AND. he also has a sweat drop on his cheek. now, sweat drops can emphasize worry and stress and what not. but because of where it is i'd like to think it was put them as an ambiguous case. is he sweating? or is he crying?
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sanguinaryrot Ā· 2 years ago
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not sure how dnd lore works but i want to know your take on a scholar orc
So i had an immediate reaction to this. Scholars are called Sages in the DND handbook and it is a background which leaves the class open to me. Sages are usually associated with Wizards but i think i am going to. Shake It Up a little. just a little!!
When you're fed supposed truths about yourself for long enough, you eventually begin to believe them. Urul knows he is dumb because people tell him he is. Even people he's never met. "You're just a big dumb orc, what could you possibly know about magic?" But Urul wants to know. He's been searching for truths about the universe for years now, reading what tombs he can get his hands on from the outskirts of towns and big cities and consistently praying to Aureon to grant him wisdom and intellect. He knows devotees of Aureon are usually wizards, and in most case also bureaucrats, but this doesn't stop him. But no matter how much he learns, people still call him dumb. And after he is assaulted by a group of adventurers when Urul attempts to enter the library in town for the first tome, he tearfully visits his alter, and he wishes that he would have been born human so that he wouldn't have been made so dumb. But in a vision, he is visited by Aureon. His undying dedication not only to him but the pursuit of knowledge even in the face of constant adversity over the years has impressed him, and he urges Urul to take up his mantle, to spread his divine word. To show the world an orc is just as capable as a gnome. Urul is still discriminated against, but he is strengthened by what his god told him the first time he spoke to him. "You aren't dumb. You never have been."
Send me a class and a background and i'll write a brief description of a character fitting that description :0 !!
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brainjuicey Ā· 2 years ago
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I'm not going to lie, this nytimes article about Val kilmer makes me cry when I read it!
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#its one of those things that makes life make sense#something real and tangible just words really about the idea of a man who stands for something that is meaningful to me#im never going to be a a handsome blond young man a moviestar in my 20s going to parties with cher or living the high life#but id like to believe i can have a similaar transformation.. that there is beautiful rich meaning in the absurdity of my own intentions#and not in the publicity or availability of my life#i am a deeply private person. i know i dress conservatively and dont make myself the centre of attention in groups. i know i will never be#a gorgeous boy and all that that affords someone in the world. oh to be young and beautiful and have it be something only for myself and#not something that makes me bitter about how im treated based on it even when its being treated well#i have an affinity for hollywood and movies and images and music for someone who is staunchly anti-industry#absorbed by this carefully curated fantasy in my head where there's something special and pure. the clear absence of reality#i guess im just trying to figure myself out still and that never stops#and as im feeling like shit making a toasted sandwich for dinner after skipping my classes not dealing with my emotional baggage stuck in#a small town once again. so far removed from everything that makes me feel like my life is remarkable. im just trying to tell myself that#its all apart of something bigger and when i look back i will have a different perspective and that#maybe i just want to be the hero of my own story#i want to be talking to the talk show of everyone i love and look up to and i want my life to read like it defines me
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unproduciblesmackdown Ā· 30 days ago
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"if only i can prove enough y through my efforts at x then z will be guaranteed" so true that But It Won't Be Guaranteed Actually. so true that accepting as much means x can be appreciated in its own right
#it's just like bloodsong of love says a couple of particularly crystal clear ways....so true bloodsong of love....#guaranteed i guess that like: one exists in the first place. anything else not so much#beyond that like not sure i'd talk about Gratitude personally lol but appreciation? sure. recognizing value but like grateful? that's okay#or we can all fall back on ''buuut basically good things Will happen to good people & bad things Will happen to bad people'' 5ever#someone in more vulnerable circumstances like wellll probablyyyy they're a bad person to warrant that anywayyyy....#forget the Maybe They're Born With It like if we all like them we all think they're Hot; dislike them? we all think they're Ugly#& Of Course it's this way. thanks to god i guess#anyway just like via note to self like uh oh you weren't straightup appreciating X In Its Own Right....don't put any ideas upon it like#& surely if these efforts are Y enough it will yield Z....hand on shoulder no it won't. aw you're right & it's not a Disappointment#speaking of bloodsong saying that; joe iconis like the most fun time to be on stage at bmc bway being on closing night#b/c there wasn't a sense of anything Hanging In The Balance about it like but if only Y enough then Show Won't Close / As Soon#and then rick moranis was there??? complete coincidence apparently & like i for one don't file that one under divine reward#what with that's not how i think of things & if that is how things are going that's not my business thus far....#but like flipside is how good things happen Outside of an idea they're all always merited through your efforts#& the coincidental good things happened in all the circumstances & contexts around it but nobody Orchestrated that#not to say all effort is a waste & act as though it's all chaos. pointing back to the It Just Doesn't Truly Guarantee Anything#and to the Appreciate The Efforts / Events In Their Own Right Without Thinking That If They Really Have Worth They'll Guarantee Z#so totally unrelated: batman cartoon Beatemup written out sound effects brawling with [the normativity narrative behind Romance]#which is also fascinating to hold up to bsol. You Know Me (rising tone across that) & sure doesn't say romance(tm) is guaranteed#but if People Don't Just Love You probably a bad person then....& if People Do Love You probably guaranteed all the good things then#brawling with Love now like what is being conflated with / subsumed into Other People's Feelings / Other People Wanting Something From You#/ Other People Wanting To Stake A Degree Of Claim Of Ownership Defined By Maximal Exclusivity & you're welcome for all of these
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huffingtonpussy Ā· 4 months ago
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The insides are wayyy darker than this but i don't gaf abt being acurate rn
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mcmansionhell Ā· 1 month ago
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on neuschwanstein castle (part 1)
This is an essay in two parts.
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Neuschwanstein Concept Drawing by the stage designer (!!) Christian Jank (1869).
There exist in architecture clear precedents to the McMansion that have nothing to do with suburban real estate. This is because ā€œMcMansionryā€ (letā€™s say) has many transferable properties. Among them can be included: 1) a diabolical amount of wealth that must be communicated architecturally in the most frivolous way possible, 2) a penchant for historical LARPing primarily informed by media (e.g. the American ā€œTuscan kitchenā€) and 3) the execution of historical styles using contemporary building materials resulting in an aesthetic affect that can be described as uncanny or cheap-looking. By these metrics, we can absolutely call Neuschwanstein Castle, built by the architect Eduard Riedel for King Ludwig II of Bavaria, a McMansion.
Constructed from 1869 through 1886 ā€“ the year of Ludwigā€™s alleged suicide after having been ousted and declared insane ā€“ the castle cost the coffers of the Bavarian state and Ludwig himself no fewer than 6.2 million German gold marks. (That's an estimated 47 million euros today.) The castle's story is rife with well-known scandal. I'm sure any passing Swan Enthusiast is already familiar with Ludwigā€™s financial capriciousness, his called-off marriage and repressed homosexuality, his parasocial obsession with Richard Wagner, his complete and total inability to run his country, and his alleged "madness," as they used to call it. All of these combine to make Neuschwanstein inescapable from the man who commissioned it -- and the artist who inspired it. Say what you like about Ludwig and his building projects, but he is definitely remembered because of them, which is what most monarchs want. Be careful what you wish for.
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Neuschwanstein gatehouse.
How should one describe Neuschwanstein architecturally? Youā€™d need an additional blog. Its interiors alone (the subject of the next essay) range from Neo-Baroque to Neo-Byzantine to Neo-Gothic. There are many terms that can loosely define the palace's overall style: eclecticism, medieval revivalism, historicism, chateauesque, sclerotic monarchycore, etc. However, the the most specific would be what was called "castle Romanticism" (Burgenromantik). The Germans are nothing if not literal. Whatever word you want to use, Neuschwanstein is such a Sistine Chapel of pure sentimentality and sugary kitsch that theme park architecture ā€“ most famously, Disney's Cinderellaā€™s castle itself ā€“ owes many of its medieval iterations to the palace's towering silhouette.
There is some truth to the term Burgenromantik. Neuschwanstein's exterior is a completely fabricated 19th century storybook fantasy of the Middle Ages whose precedents lie more truthfully in art for the stage. As a castle without fortification and a palace with no space for governance, Neuschwanstein's own program is indecisive about what it should be, which makes it a pretty good reflection of Ludwig II himself. To me, however, it is the last gasp of a monarchy whose power will be totally extinguished by that same industrial modernity responsible for the materials and techniques of Neuschwanstein's own, ironic construction.
In order to understand Neuschwanstein, however, we must go into two subjects that are equally a great time for me: 19th century medievalism - the subject of this essay - and the opera Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, the subject of the next. (1)
Part I: Medievalisms Progressive and Reactionary
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The Middle Ages were inescapable in 19th century Europe. Design, music, visual art, theater, literature, and yes, architecture were all besotted with the stuff of knights and castles, old sagas, and courtly literature. From arch-conservative nationalism to pro-labor socialism, medievalism's popularity spanned the entire political spectrum. This is because it owes its existence to a number of developments that affected the whole of society.
In Ludwigā€™s time, the world was changing in profound, almost inconceivable ways. The first and second industrial revolutions with their socioeconomic upheavals and new technologies of transport, manufacturing, and mass communication, all completely unmade and remade how people lived and worked. This was as true of the average person as it was of the princes and nobles who were beginning to be undermined by something called ā€œthe petit bourgeoisie.ā€
Sustenance farming dwindled and wage labor eclipsed all other forms of working. Millions of people no longer able to make a living on piecemeal and agricultural work flocked to the cities and into the great Molochs of factories, mills, stockyards, and mines. Families and other kinship bonds were eroded or severed by the acceleration of capitalist production, large wars, and new means of transportation, especially the railroad. People became not only alienated from each other and from their labor in the classical Marxist sense but also from the results of that labor, too. No longer were chairs made by craftsmen or clothes by the single tailor -- unless you could afford the bespoke. Everything from shirtwaists to wrought iron lamps was increasingly mass produced - under wretched conditions, too. Things ā€“ including buildings ā€“ that were once built to last a lifetime became cheap, disposable, and subject to the whimsy of fashion, sold via this new thing called ā€œthe catalog.ā€
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William Morris' painting Le Belle Iseult (1868).
Unsurprisingly, this new way of living and working caused not a little discontent. This was the climate in which Karl Marx wrote Capital and Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. More specific to our interests, however, is a different dissenter and one of the most interesting practitioners of medievalism, the English polymath William Morris.
A lover of Arthurian legend and an admirer of the architect and design reformer John Ruskin, Morris was first trained in the office of architect G. E. Street, himself a die-hard Gothic Revivalist. From the very beginning, the Middle Ages can be found everywhere in Morris' work, from the rough-hewn qualities of the furniture he helped design to the floral elements and compositions of the art nouveau textiles and graphics he's most famous for -- which, it should be said, are reminiscent of 15th century English tapestries. In addition to his design endeavors, Morris was also a gifted writer and poet. His was a profound love for medieval literature, especially Norse sagas from Iceland. Some of these he even translated including the Volsunga Saga -- also a preoccupation of Wagner's. Few among us earn the title of polymath, but Morris' claim to it is undeniable. Aside from music, there really wasn't any area of creative life he didn't touch.
However, Morris' predilection for the medieval was not just a personal and aesthetic fascination. It was also an expression of his political rejection of the capitalist mode of production. As one of the founders of the English Arts & Crafts Movement, Morris called for a rejection of piecemeal machine labor, a return to handicraft, and overall to things made well and made with dignity. While this was and remains a largely middle class argument, one that usually leads down the road of ethical consumption, Morris was right that capitalism's failing of design and architecture did not just lie with the depreciated quality of goods, but the depreciated quality of life. His was the utopian call to respect both the object and the laborer who produced it. To quote from his 1888 essay called "The Revival of Architecture," Morris dreamed of a society that "will produce to live and not live to produce, as we do." Indeed, in our current era of AI Slop, there remains much to like about the Factory Slop-era call to take back time from the foreman's clock and once more make labor an act of enjoyable and unalienated creativity. Only now it's about things like writing an essay.
I bother to describe Morris at length here for a number of reasons. The first is to reiterate that medievalism's popularity was largely a response to socioeconomic changes. Additionally, since traditionalism - in Ludwig's time and in ours - still gets weaponized by right-wing losers, it's worth pointing out that not all practitioners of medievalism were politically reactionary in nature. However ā€“ and I will return to this later ā€“ medievalism, reactionary or not, remains inescapably nostalgic. Morris is no exception. While a total rejection of mass produced goods may seem quixotic to us now, when Morris was working, the era before mass industrialization remained at the fringes of living memory. Hence the nostalgia is perhaps to be expected. Unfortunately for him and for us, the only way out of capitalism is through it.
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To return again to the big picture: whether one liked it or not, the old feudal world was done. Only its necrotic leftovers, namely a hereditary nobility whose power would run out of road in WWI, remained. For Ludwig purposes, it was a fraught political time in Bavaria as well. Bavaria, weird duck that it was, remained relatively autonomous within the new German Reich. Despite the title of king, Ludwig, much to his chagrin - hence the pathetic Middle Ages fantasizing - did not rule absolutely. His was a constitutional monarchy, and an embattled one at that. During the building of Neuschwanstein, the king found himself wedged between the Franco-Prussian War and the political coup masterminded by Otto von Bismarck that would put Europe on the fast track to a global conflict many saw as the atavistic culmination of all that already violent modernity. No wonder he wanted to hide with his Schwans up in the hills of Schwangau.
The very notion of a unified German Reich (or an independent Kingdom of Bavaria) was itself indicative of another development. Regardless if one was liberal or conservative, a king, an artist or a shoe peddler, the 19th century was plagued by the rise of modern nationalism. Bolstered by new ideas in "medical" ā€œscience,ā€ this was also a racialized nationalism. A lot of emotional, political, and artistic investment was put into the idea that there existed a fundamentally German volk, a German soil, a German soul. This, however, was a universalizing statement in need of a citation, with lots of political power on the line. Hence, in order to add historical credence to these new conceptions of oneā€™s heritage, people turned to the old sources.
Within the hallowed halls of Europe's universities, newly minted historians and philologists scoured medieval texts for traces of a people united by a common geography and ethnicity as well as the foundations for a historically continuous state. We now know that this is a problematic and incorrect way of looking at the medieval world, a world that was so very different from our own. A great deal of subsequent medieval scholarship still devotes itself to correcting for these errors. But back then, such scholarly ethics were not to be found and people did what they liked with the sources. A lot of assumptions were made in order to make whatever point one wanted, often about one's superiority over another. Hell, anyone who's been on Trad Guy Deus Vult Twitter knows that a lot of assumptions are still made, and for the same purposes.(2)
Meanwhile, outside of the academy, mass print media meant more people were exposed to medieval content than ever before. Translations of chivalric romances such as Wolfgang von Eschenbachā€™s Parzival and sagas like the Poetic Edda inspired a centuryā€™s worth of artists to incorporate these characters and themes into their work. This work was often but of course not always nationalistic in character. Such adaptations for political purposes could get very granular in nature. We all like to point to the greats like William Morris or Richard Wagner (who was really a master of a larger syncretism.) But there were many lesser attempts made by weaker artists that today have an unfortunate bootlicking je nais se quoi to them.
I love a minor tangent related to my interests, so here's one: a good example of this nationalist granularity comes from Franz Grillparzerā€™s 1823 pro-Hapsburg play Kƶnig Ottokars GlĆ¼ck und Ende, which took for its source a deep cut 14th century manuscript called the Styrian Rhyming Chronicle, written by Ottokar Aus Der Gaul. The play concerns the political intrigue around King Ottokar II of Bohemia and his subsequent 1278 defeat at the hands of Grillparzerā€™s very swagged out Rudolf of Habsburg. Present are some truly fascinating but extremely obscure characters from 13th Holy Roman Empire lore including a long-time personal obsession of mine, the Styrian ministerial and three-time traitor of the Great Interregnum, Frederick V of Pettau. But Iā€™m getting off-topic here. Let's get back to the castle.
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The Throne Room at Neuschwanstein
For architecture, perhaps the most important development in spreading medievalism was this new institution called the "big public museum." Through a professionalizing field of archaeology and the sickness that was colonialist expansion, bits and bobs of buildings were stolen from places like North Africa, Egypt, the Middle East, and Byzantium, all of which had an enormous impact on latter 19th century architecture. (They were also picked up by early 20th century American architects from H. H. Richardson to Louis Sullivan.) These orientalized fragments were further disseminated through new books, monographs, and later photography.
Meanwhile, developments in fabrication (standardized building materials), construction (namely iron, then steel) and mass production sped things up and reduced costs considerably. Soon, castles and churches in the image of those that once took decades if not a century to build were erected on countless hillsides or in little town squares across the continent. These changes in the material production of architecture are key for understanding "why Neuschwanstein castle looks so weird."
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Part of what gives medieval architecture its character is the sheer embodiment of labor embedded in all those heavy stones, stones that were chiseled, hauled, and set by hand. The Gothic cathedral was a precarious endeavor whose appearance of lightness was not earned easily, which is why, when writing about their sublimity, Edmund Burke invoked not only the play of light and shadow, but the sheer slowness and human toil involved.
This is, of course, not true of our present estate. Neuschwanstein not only eschews the role of a castle as a ā€œfortress to be used in warā€ (an inherently stereotomic program) but was erected using contemporary materials and techniques that are simply not imbued with the same age or gravitas. Built via a typical brick construction but clad in more impressive sandstone, it's all far too clean. Neuschwanstein's proportions seem not only chaotic - towers and windows are strewn about seemingly on a whim - they are also totally irreconcilable with the castle's alleged typology, in part because we know what a genuine medieval castle looks like.
Ludwig's palace was a technological marvel of the industrial revolution. Not only did Neuschwanstein have indoor plumbing and central heat, it also used the largest glass windows then in manufacture. It's not even an Iron Age building. The throne room, seen earlier in this post, required the use of structural steel. None of this is to say that 19th century construction labor was easy. It wasn't and many people still died, including 30 at Neuschwanstein. It was, however, simply different in character than medieval labor. For all the waxing poetic about handiwork, Iā€™m sure medieval stonemasons would have loved the use of a steam crane.
It's true that architectural eclecticism (the use of many styles at once) has a knack for undermining the presumed authenticity or fidelity of each style employed. But this somewhat misunderstands the crime. The thing about Neuschwanstein is that its goal was not to be historically authentic at all. Its target realm was that of fantasy. Not only that, a fantasy informed primarily by a contemporary media source. In this, it could be said to be more architecturally successful.
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The fantasy of medievalism is very different than the truth of the Middle Ages. As I hinted at before, more than anything else, medievalism was an inherently nostalgic movement, and not only because it was a bedrock of so much children's literature. People loved it because it promised a bygone past that never existed. The visual and written languages of feudalism, despite it being a terrible socioeconomic system, came into vogue in part because it wasn't capitalism. We must remember that the 19th century saw industrial capitalism at its newest and rawest. Unregulated, it destroyed every natural resource in sight and subjected people, including children, to horrific labor conditions. It still does, and will probably get worse, but the difference is, we're somewhat used to it by now. The shock's worn off.
All that upheaval I talked about earlier made people long for a simplicity they felt was missing. This took many different forms. The rapid advances of secular society and the incursion of science into belief made many crave a greater religiosity. At a time when the effects of wage labor on the family had made womanhood a contested territory, many appeals were made to a divine and innocent feminine a la Lady Guinevere. Urbanization made many wish for a quieter world with less hustle and bustle and better air. These sentiments are not without their reasons. Technological and socioeconomic changes still make us feel alienated and destabilized, hence why there are so many medieval revivals even in our own time. (Chappell Roan of Arc anyone?) Hell, our own rich people aren't so different from Ludwig either. Mark Zuckerburg owns a Hawaiian island and basically controls the fates of the people who live there lord-in-the-castle-style.
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Given all this, it's not surprising that of the products of the Middle Ages, perhaps chivalric romance was and remains the most popular. While never a real depiction of medieval life (no, all those knights were not dying on the behalf of pretty ladies), such stories of good men and women and their grand adventures still capture the imaginations of children and adults alike. (You will find no greater fan of Parzival than yours truly.) It's also no wonder the nature of the romance, with its paternalistic patriarchy, its Christianity, its sentimentality around courtly love, and most of all its depiction of the ruling class as noble and benevolent ā€“ appealed to someone like Ludwig, both as a quirked-up individual and a member of his class.
It follows, then, that any artist capable of synthesizing all these elements, fears, and desires into an aesthetically transcendent package would've had a great effect on such a man. One did, of course. His name was Richard Wagner.
In our next essay, we will witness one of the most astonishing cases of kitsch imitating art. But before there could be Neuschwanstein Castle, there had to be this pretty little opera called Lohengrin.
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(1) If you want to get a head start on the Wagner stuff, I've been writing about the Ring cycle lately on my Substack: https://www.late-review.com/p/essays-on-wagners-ring-part-1-believing
(2) My favorite insane nationalist claim comes from the 1960s, when the Slovene-American historian Joseph Felicijan claimed that the US's democracy was based off the 13th century ritual of enthronement practiced by the Dukes of Carinthia because Thomas Jefferson owned a copy of Jean Bodin's Les six livres de la Republique (1576) in which the rite was mentioned. For more information, see Peter Å tih's book The Middle Ages Between the Alps and the Northern Adriatic (p. 56 for the curious.)
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