#Its not april yet so this must be true right?????

[mothinabottle]

AHDSJJJJJJDKKAKDKKWHIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

💃💃💃💃💃💃💃🫂🫂🫂🫂💚💚💚

WE WON, YURI NATION!!!!! WE WON!!!!!

[elminx]

Energy Update: February 2025

February is a "2" Universal Month [2 (February) + 9 (2025) = 11 = 1+1 = 2] in a "9" Universal Year. Two is often a decision number; as we move down the path, we find a fork in the road and face our first choices. This is consistent with the astrological transits of the month; our personal planets are marching ever closer to the divide between 29° Pisces and 00° Aries - THE degree of the year. What we do now matters, but we may not know why yet.

The Set Up

We begin the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Pluto in Aquarius; Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node in Pisces; retrograde Mars in Cancer; retrograde Jupiter in Gemini; and Uranus in Taurus. By month's end, the Sun and Mercury will have moved into Pisces and Venus into Aries. Additionally, Mars and Jupiter will have stationed direct.

The Nitty Gritty

Aspect-wise, this is a pretty sparse month, but what we do see packs a pretty big punch. Mars is rounding out the end of his retrograde cycle (thank the gods), but both Mercury and Venus will retrograde in the months ahead. In fact, Venus is already in her pre-retrograde shadow as she moves through Pisces and Aries all month long. This month can be seen as a bit of a setup for what is to come in March, April, and May as each planet inches forward toward its inevitable conjunction to 00° Aries. I have written about this as the conjunction of the year here, so I won't go into a lot of detail about it, but I will make reference to it.

Mars

Mars has been in the spotlight since he began his retrograde journey at 17° Cancer on 12/6. This month, he makes the last legs of his trip before stationing direct on 2/23. We are deep in the weeds of Mars in Cancer now, which is unfortunate because Mars is at his fall in the cardinal water sign. A planet is considered in its fall when it is the opposing sign to that of its exaltation (here, Capricorn); this is an indication that the sign's natural aptitudes are in misalignment with the nature of the planet.

Cancer is the sign of the crab, and as a cardinal/moving sign, it moves like a crab - sideways, zigzagging toward its targets. This movement is highly inefficient; once Cancer grabs on, it holds on for dear life. Cancer types like the world to believe they are a moveable sign - they carry their homes on their backs, after all! - but often, they are so obsessed with what has already happened that they forget to look forward to the future. Cancer naturally rules the 4th house, the nadir of the horoscope wheel, the natural domain of the past - our childhoods and family setups. All Cancer types must watch out for false nostalgia or adherence to a perfect memory that doesn't fit the world as it is now.

I want to be clear here that I am not trying to throw Cancer under the bus: every sign has positive and negative traits associated with it. It's Cancer's job to REMEMBER the past; it's a challenging task, and someone has got to do it. The problem comes when Cancer gets STUCK in the past. This problem is because Mars moves backward in the sign most obsessed with the past.

I shouldn't need to point out the obvious parallels between this astrological transit and what is going on with US politics right now. What I can do is allow a broad view: sometimes, we need to return to review the past because someone has not yet learned their lessons. This is always very triggering for those out ahead of the pack. Nobody wants to stop for the slowpoke, least of all Mars.

One of the things that the study of astrological transits teaches us is that we often need to take three steps forward and then two steps back. This is the nature of retrograde cycles; they allow us a broader viewpoint as we retrace the degrees of the horoscope where we have recently been. These should be seen as a cosmic lesson - for society and sometimes for our personal lives. This is true of all planetary retrogrades, but it holds doubly true when a planet retrogrades back through Cancer, the sign that remembers.

We are in the thick of it now, and this is often when retrogrades feel their very worst. It is obvious who has their eyes wide open and is paying attention and who has chosen to hide their heads in the sand to play pretend. Not everyone wants or cares to change. This can be one of the most challenging realities to face.

Because Cancer lives at least partially in the past, they can be among the last to change. Often, they hold on with their crabby hands as if their lives depend on it. When Mars is retrograde in the sign of the crab, everyone is a little bit more reticent to see their part of the problem. Because the crab is so often thwarted (in that others want change while they want to cling to what they know and the comfort that brings), they frequently resort to emotional manipulation.

Think of the myth of the good old days when things were "simpler." Think of the parent that demands you obey because you owe them. Life isn't tit for tat - some obligations cannot be repaid. We cannot go backward; the past is done. We must grapple with these things as we move through the last month of this rough retrograde cycle.

Mars only makes one significant aspect this month, a trine to Saturn in Pisces on 2/9. I expect the days around this to carry the weight of these retrograde burdens, as Mars and Saturn are traditionally considered malefic planets. Whatever needs to be shaken loose will undoubtedly fall apart during this time, but it won't be pretty. Expect the worst, and hope for the best. Sometimes, things NEED to fall apart.

It's a scant comfort when shit is hitting the fan, of course.

As Mars exits its retrograde at 17° Cancer on 2/23, Mercury in Pisces is in a watery trine to help sort out the pieces. Verbally, if possible. Talk things out in your personal life on or after the 23rd, and take real actionable steps to rectify any situations that have come up since December. Remember that it will be another two months before Mars is out of his post-retrograde shadow, so things will continue to arise for re-evaluation.

The Lights: The Sun and the Moon

As the Sun moves through Aquarius, it will conjunct Mercury at 20° on 2/9 and square Uranus on 2/11. (Mercury squares Uranus on 2/10 on the day in between). This is our big Ah-Ha moment for the month. If you're into truth-seeking or truth-revealing, these are the days to work with. Anytime the Sun squares Uranus, the chances of sudden changes go up, and so long as Uranus is in Taurus, the chances of natural disasters also increase. Uranus is the lightning strike on the Tower card in the tarot; it is unexpected and generally unavoidable. Take that as you will.

Our full moon at 24° Leo on 2/12 forms a t-square to Uranus in Taurus; this will be a high-energy day. Expect the unexpected. Uranus tends to turn the energy up to 11, which will heighten the intensity of our full moon, which is already quite intense. If you're sensitive, you may need to take steps to discharge the excess - whether through physical movement or grounding. Do what works for you, of course. It's worth noting that Uranus is the modern ruler of Aquarius; this is a great day to do magic for activism or anything that affects the greater good of society as a whole, the domain of Aquarius.

Our Leo Full Moon is a 7/9 Full Moon.

5 (Leo Moon) + 11 (Aquarius Sun) = 16 = 1+6 = 7. 7 (Leo full Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 9.

You can work with the number 7 to seek the best for everyone or the number 9 to represent endings and completions. Note here that 2025 is a "9" Universal year, so this number is further highlighted during this time. The combination of these two numbers makes it a great day to Hex the Patriarchy or do other magic to end the influence of the current administration.

As our Sun enters Pisces on 2/18, we enter the last astrological month of the year. There's a lot of pressure to wrap things up before spring when the Sun crests 00° Aries and our hot-point degree of the year. Pisces carries a lot of dark moon energy naturally as it rules the 12th house of the unconscious, which goes doubly for this year. Pisces is also the new home of our North Node, which is already conjunct with Saturn and Neptune at the other end of the sign.

The lunar nodes indicate where our eclipses will occur, so we may begin to taste eclipse season on the horizon, but we need to get through our new moon at 09° Pisces on 2/27 first.

This solar-lunar conjunction makes a wide stellium with Saturn, whose sitting eleven degrees away at 21°, so fate may be hanging heavily in the air. This is triply dark moon energy: firstly from the natural lack of lunar light, secondly from the nature of the Pisces new moon/12th house, and thirdly because it is the last lunar event before our upcoming eclipse season. If you are in that hole, know you are right on time.

Our Pisces New Moon is a 6/8 New Moon.

12 (Pisces Moon) + 12 (Pisces Sun) = 24 = 2+4 = 6. 6 (Pisces New Moon) + 2 (February 2025) = 8.

With 8 energy in play, expect to experience the highest highs and the lowest lows, perhaps both almost at the same time as one another. Eight is the number of the ouroboros and the infinity sign; you can work with either of these symbols during this time to help move through the energy rather than getting stuck in it. This is the perfect lunar event for shadow work, divination, and anything you want to do unseen or in the dark.

The Lunar Nodes

It is worth noting the recent movement of our lunar nodes, who passed from the axis of Aries-Libra to the axis of Pisces-Virgo in January. The nodes are not physical bodies in our skies but mathematical points that indicate where the Sun, Moon, and Earth need to be in the skies to create our solar and lunar eclipses. They are always read as a pair: the North Node (traditionally the Head of the Dragon) is our point of forward-facing fate, the area of life society as a whole will need to focus on, and our South Node (traditionally the Tail of the Dragon) is the point of past-facing fate, the area of life we are moving away from as a collective.

Because we are entering Pisces season at the end of February, we can discern that our first eclipse season is on the horizon. This will be mixed-sign eclipses. As the lunar nodes are still on the cusp of the signs, we will experience a lunar eclipse in Virgo and a solar eclipse in Aries in March.

As we exit our new moon on 2/27, the energy leading up to our set of eclipses will rise. This tends to create much tension; this should be viewed as business as usual. I will speak more about our upcoming eclipses soon.

Mercury

As Mercury moves through Aquarius, they trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini on 2/3, a check-in on our luck. Mercury is the native ruler of Gemini, but Jupiter is quite unhappy there (both in its retrograde and fall). Jupiter has been out of commission for a while now, and it's starting to show. When you can't rely on Jupiter, you must make your own luck. Mercury is a trickster, after all. This is a concept worth exploring at the beginning of the month.

Mercury passes across the boundaries of the Sun on 2/9, a position often known as Mercury Cazimi or Mercury combust. Traditional astrologers believed that the Sun overpowered the nature of Mercury, and times of Mercury combustion created slow, unintelligent types. I will say that I was born with Mercury conjunct to the Sun within 1 degree, and it is obvious how wordy I am. Mercury cazimi is a reminder that we are coming up fast on our first Mercury retrograde of the year, which will go from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces in March. Stay tuned for that, as it will coincide with Venus's retrograde over almost exactly the same degrees - this is the big meat of our spring season.

As Mercury crosses over the Sun, it also squares Uranus in Taurus - Uranus is often believed to be the higher octave of Mercury. Where Mercury is thought, Uranus is pure inspiration. Stay open to whatever channels are available to you during this time. This will be a great day for writers, inventors, artists, and diviners.

On 2/14, Mercury enters Pisces, the sign of Mercury's fall, as it is the opposite sign of one Mercury rules (Virgo). We might need to watch out for how we speak about ourselves and others during this time. Are we being truthful? Are we being kind? Mercury is concerned with precision in Virgo, and Pisces - ruled by the amorphous Neptune- is anything but. Sometimes, it is good to blur the lines, but often, Mercury in Pisces goes too far. Note here that Mercury's retrograde will include the end of Pisces, the sign of its fall, and Venus will be in her fall while she is in Aries - and Mars is in his fall while retrograding through Cancer.

This is a hint that none of us are at our best.

Maybe we need to judge less and accept ourselves for where we are.

As Mercury moves into Pisces, they square Jupiter on 2/20 - again, we may feel out of time (Mercury) and out of luck (Jupiter). There may be nothing that we can do about it (mutable square), but people may want to cry about it (Mercury in Pisces). Acceptance isn't easy, but it can help make sense of our lives.

As we round out the month, Mercury in Pisces trines retrograde Mars on the day he stations direct and then conjuncts Saturn on 2/25. There are consequences here. We must admit what we have done so that we can move forward.

Venus

As mentioned above, Venus is the vanguard of all of our planets that will enter 00° Aries this year - she does so for the first time on 2/4. Circle that date in your calendar; it's an important one. You may not note it as important this time around (on Venus's first pass), but what is coming up now is going to come back around again at least two more times through Venus's retrograde and possibly more as the Sun, Mercury, Saturn, and Neptune also cross this degree.

Happy spring a little bit early. Except it's not yet spring, and nobody is particularly happy about anything. Venus is in her fall in the cardinal fire sign of Aries because Aries is the opposite sign of her dominion, Libra. Venus naturally desires to play nice, smooth things over, and generally get along, while Aries is the sign of forging ahead, whatever the cost. Unless modified by a lot of watery energy, Aries types don't tend to give any shits about fitting in or playing nice. It is just their way. This costs Venus many of her best traits, and she loses her softer edges.

What if we aren't supposed to have these soft edges during this time? What if we all need to be a bit tougher, if we need to lean into what we believe and STAND UP for it? That is what Venus in Aries does best - she is, by her nature, virtually fearless.

Keep in mind that we are already in Venus's pre-retrograde shadow. This means that every degree she moves across this month will be retraced, in total, three times. She won't move more than thirteen degrees from where she is on 2/1 until 4/16 when she exits her post-retrograde shadow. This means that through a wide enough lens, she will carry the stellium with Neptune and the North Node all the way through from 2/1 to 4/16 for 75 days. In this time, the Sun will move through this stellium, and Mercury and Saturn will join it for their own retrograde cycles.

By weight, number of days in these degrees, and number of passes, Saturn certainly is the heavyweight here, but Venus is no slouch. Remember that, along with Mars, she is one of the two planets that governs how we all get along. Things might start to heat up (metaphorically) as she enters Aries early in February, and then she retrogrades and brings this heat back into Pisces, which might bring things to a true and for-real boil.

I don't say this to scare you, but we should all be prepared. From 12/6 to 4/12, all three of our personal planets will have retrogrades one after another. There is no getting along to be found or had. It won't be pretty or fun.

Set your expectations low, understanding that we are in the lead-up to this all month long. Venus retrogrades on 3/1 (also the day Mercury enters their pre-retrograde shadow at 25° Pisces), so the closer we get to March, the more apparent it might become that things aren't very copacetic. If you can't make heads or tails of other people - even your very closest - know that you are right on time. Venus slows down to a near standstill at the month's end, holding 10° Aries for an abnormally long time; this is going to feel like absolute shit - especially to anyone with a personal planet on or around 10° in any of the cardinal or fire signs.

There's just not much we can do about this except bear it.

Jupiter

After a very uncomfortable retrograde in the sign of its fall, Jupiter stations direct at 11° Gemini on 2/4, the beginning of a better day. Jupiter will move out of Gemini (finally) and into Cancer later this year - look forward to that. Our luck will return, slowly.

Looking Ahead

March is going to be a shit show; there's no way around it. Venus retrogrades on 3/1, and Mercury follows soon afterward - the two are retrograding in nearly identical ways - Venus from 10° Aries to 24° Pisces and Mercury from 09° Aries to 25° Pisces. It's going to be a rough one/two punch. And that's before we even consider eclipse season with a total lunar eclipse in Virgo and a partial solar eclipse in Aries that will form a stellium with the Sun, the Moon, and retrograde Mercury. retrograde Venus, Saturn, Neptune, and the North Node. Yep, it's a lot. Stay tuned.

The Details

2/1 - Venus conjunct Neptune 27° Pisces 2/3 - Mercury in Aquarius trine retrograde Jupiter in Gemini, retrograde Mars in Cancer square Chiron in Aries, Venus conjunct North Node 29° Pisces 2/4 - Venus enters Aries, Jupiter stations direct 11° Gemini 2/7 - Venus in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius, Neptune conjunct the North Node 28° Pisces 2/8 - Sun in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries, Mercury in Aquarius sextile Chiron in Aries 2/9 - Sun conjunct Mercury 20° Aquarius, retrograde Mars trine Saturn in Pisces 2/10 - Mercury in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/11 - Sun in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus 2/12 - Full Moon 24° Leo 2/14 - Mercury enters Pisces 2/18 - Sun enters Pisces 2/20 - Mercury in Pisces square Jupiter in Gemini 2/23 - Mercury in Pisces trine retrograde Mars in Cancer, Mars stations direct 17° Cancer 2/25 - Mercury conjunct Saturn 20° Pisces 2/27 - New moon 09° Pisces

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[arcane-apathy]

Chapter 11

Prologue | Previous | Next

AN: Firstly I'd like to apologize for teasing y'all in April. However family and my mental health always come first. Turns out that planning a funeral, attending said funeral, and grieving one of the most influential people in your life sucks. Again thank you all for your patience and support. And I hope you'll enjoy it! 🌻

Warning(s): Self Mutilation, Blood Ritual

  The morning came too quickly. For once you weren’t the first awake, as Kurakh shook your shoulder. “Come on Odmili, it's morning.” You groan in protest but still sit up, knowing well enough you asked for it. The fire was barely lit, meaning Kurakh mustn't have been awake long. As if he read your mind, “I still have the sand in my eyes.” 

  “Would you like me to tend to the fire?” 

  “If you feel so inclined,” he yawns while slowly standing up. You follow behind him, quickly slipping on your boots to protect your feet from the cold stone floor. Fabric rustles behind you as you feed a new log to the fire. The flames were now high and illuminating the small room well. You quickly glance over your shoulder to make sure Kurakh was decent enough for you to tolerate. With a sigh of relief, you turn around. "I don't know how you can function in this cold." 

  "Years of training," you chuckle while pulling your stay over your shoulders. You didn't even bother to look while you re-laced the front, muscle memory taking over. "Besides, this isn't the worst of it. Wait until the snow is above your knees." 

  "Only when you say things like that, I regret coming north," he sighs and slips on a furred vest over his tunic. 

  “I doubt that is true,” eyes rolling at his antics. 

  “I speak this truth. I have yet to lose a warrior, Moltschab’s horde is too scared to travel this far north, I have gained allies… And I met you.” 

You pause in the middle of tying the final knot, fighting to ignore the fluttering of your heart, "that is the most saccharine thing I've ever heard you say." Surprisingly you were met with silence, making you pivot on your heel. Kurakh's confusion was written all over his face. Again the fact that the two of you come from completely different worlds dawned on you. "Saccharine means something is very sweet," you explain while stepping into your habit.

  "Oh, I couldn't tell if it was good or bad," he chuckles a little and stands. Retrieving his cloak from a hook on the wall. "If Mazna asks, please tell him I'm out hunting." 

  "Of course, he should still be asleep, right?" 

  "Yes, and hopefully for a few more hours. For Roldza's sake." 

  "Indeed, bless that woman," you smile and begin to re-lace the habit. "Should I assume it shouldn't take long, considering our numbers have grown?" Your smile quickly disappears as a knot forms in the laces. 

"Correct," he smirks and approaches you. He gently moves your hair aside, breath fanning across your neck. "You said our numbers."

  "Yes, and," you counter while a blush starts to make its way up your neck.

"You're no longer considering yourself an outsider," he carefully takes the laces and undoes the knot. His fingers gently graze along your back as he finishes lacing the habit for you. "That is good." 

  "Oh... And you don't have to do this for me. I can lace this thing in my sleep."

  "I know," his voice didn't give room to argue.

  "Then why are you insisting on doing it?"

  "Why must you be suspicious of everything I do?"

  "Well, we didn't start on the right foot."

  "Fair point," he lightly tugs on the laces to signal he's finished. "Would you like me to tuck the laces?" You only nod, trying not to tense up as he tucks the laces into the habit. Kurakh's hand finds its way to your hair and moves it back to how it normally lays. "There. Save for that blasted headcover you look like a proper Maid of Eia." 

  It felt like you could finally breathe as you stepped away from him, "I'm also missing the pin... But that's the last of my worries right now." 

  "I'll be fine." 

You smack him in the chest playfully, "and what made you so sure I was talking about you? I'm more concerned about Schelura cutting my hair!" 

"Right," he smirks, "don't worry, you'll be in good hands. Schelura's family has been hairdressing for generations." 

  "I thought she was a beadmaster?" 

  "Most beadmasters are also hairdressers. The work goes hand-in-hand." He hovers in the middle of the room, contemplation written all over his face. "I suppose I should go to the main hall." 

  "I believe so, Otoschlibt. I'll be right behind you, I just need to fix my stockings." He nods and slowly walks to the door. Taking a deep breath before he opens it, bracing for the cold air of the hallway. "The faster you do it the sooner it'll be over with," you tease. With a quiet laugh, he opens the door and enters the hallway. You watch as he goes, kindly closing the door behind him so you can have more time to savor the warmth. 

  It didn't take long for you to deem yourself fully dressed. With your cloak fastened you step into the hall. The cool air hitting your face, properly waking you up. The halls were lowly lit with glimmerstone, and eerily silent. As you stepped into the main hall it almost felt like a different world. Warriors bustle about as they prepare. The sound of blades on whetstones surrounded you as you made your way to the center of the room. Kurakh and the commanders surround a table covered by a makeshift map.   

  Eteos seemed to be the mastermind of the attack, effortlessly explaining as he pointed to the map. No one seemed to pay attention as you sidled up to Kurakh. “We will attack from all sides. Dogar and I will lead the larger group attacking from the south. Kalos will lead the western group and Aren will lead the eastern. Kurah and Galta will lead the northern group to capture the lieutenant and the maid.” 

  I lean in closer to Kurakh, trying to keep quiet, “the maid I understand, but the Lieutenant? Have you gone mad?” 

  “We need leverage, and Eteos says the winter will work in our favor by slowing rescue efforts.” 

  “It could also lead to our slaughter.” 

  “The council has already voted,” the finality of his tone kept your mouth shut. You could see a hint of doubt in his eye as he refocused. His fingers tapped on the table absentmindedly. Usually, Kurakh was able to keep still, but within the last week, you’ve caught him fidgeting more than usual. Hopefully, it was only his secret project he was worried about. 

  “Alright everyone, ready your weapons. We must leave before dawn,” Eteos calls to the crowd. Kurakh gently moves you away from the table as he also leaves. 

  “I'm unsure what we should do for the new Maid, should she stay with us?” 

  “I don't see why not, but it depends on who she is. It's usually the newly ordained Maids that get drafted.” 

  “Except you?” 

  “There might be some marks on my record.” 

  Kurakh laughs, “So I'm not the only one who's dealt with your attitude?” 

  “The Elders didn't appreciate the fire in my eyes like you have,” you scoff as you follow him outside. The wargs were already lined up waiting for their riders. Sukkori wags her tail at the sight of you and Kurakh. “With all seriousness, please try to be gentle with this Maid. She is likely not even twenty years old.” 

  “I'll make sure of it,” Kurakh mounts Sukkori swiftly. “I’ll task Galta with her care. She’s the gentlest option.” 

  “Gentle is not a word I would use to describe Galta, but it is the better option.” 

  Galta scoffs from a few steps away, “I heard that!” Even with the lack of sunlight, you could make out the warpaint on both of their faces. The dark red paint dripped from their foreheads and onto their cheeks. While the design was simple it got the point across.

  “You’re lucky we don’t have any more to say Galta,” Kurakh laughs before returning his attention to you. “We’ll be careful.” The rest of the warriors make their way towards the gate around the two of you. “I must go.” 

  You grab his hand, causing Kurakh's breath to catch in his throat, “come back in one piece.” 

  He brings the back of your hand to his lips, “I promise.” He gently squeezes your hand before joining the group as they speed past the gate. Save for the guard closing the gate you stood alone in the yard. And you stood there until you could no longer hear the centaur’s hooves hitting the frosty ground. Once you made yourself go back inside you began to mentally scold yourself over your lovesick antics.   With your mind so distracted you didn’t notice someone walk into the main hall behind you as you set up your triage. 

  “Didn’t want to go back to sleep I see,” a soft voice startles you from your work. When you looked up there was an Elven woman merely a foot away. Of course, you didn’t hear her coming. 

  “There was no point, I would’ve just laid awake with worry.” 

  “I’m the same way when my brother goes out on those missions. I’m Artenna,” she extends her hand. You first noticed the delicate and glowing tattoos that littered her pale hands. It was difficult to pull your eyes away from the faint pink light as you shook her hand. “Sorry, I probably should have given you a warning.” 

  “You’re a hypnotist?” 

  “Yes, I promise I’m not as scary as the King makes us sound.” 

  “It’s not that, I’ve never met a hypnotist before. It’s a niche field of magic, even before the decree.” 

  Artenna shrugs, “it depends on where you are. My mother also said it used to be more common when she was a child. Can I help you with anything?” 

  You glance around to see if there is anything left to do, “not at the moment. I already sped through everything I could do. Unless you wouldn't mind keeping me company until they return?” 

  “It would be my pleasure,” she smiles and sits on a bench across from you. Thankfully Artenna proved to be pleasant company as you exchanged stories, jokes, and camp gossip. After some time passes you both venture outside. The sun was finally over the horizon, signaling for you to continue preparations, and for the rest of the camp to rise. Artenna helps you break the ice and carry water from the well. The luxury will only last a few more weeks until the ice is too thick to break. Then the camp will have to rely on melting snow. 

  With the last bucket you were willing to carry in hand, the sound of hooves began to echo through the valley. It was urging you to hurry back into the main hall. Setting the bucket beside your tools, hoping no one else will try to use it. As much as you didn’t want to be scolded by Schelura, you quickly shove your hair into your linen cap. Infections are always worse to treat in the winter. 

  You didn’t know what you expected when the warriors returned, but it wasn’t the Lieutenant being carried in by Kurakh. “What happened?” Kurakh quickly sets him on a table before you. 

  “He poisoned himself, and we don’t know what he used,” Kurakh grumbles. Galta quickly approaches beside you, with a vaguely familiar shadow cloaked in blue. “Their Maid also doesn’t know what he could’ve taken. The officers are cowar-” 

  “It’s new, all high-ranking officers are supposed to take it if they get captured,” a meager voice interrupts. 

  “What is your name,” you glance at her as you roll up your sleeves. Her fair skin was red from the wind and her deep blue eyes were wide in shock. 

  “Yulla.” 

  “Cut off his armor and enough of his shirt so I can access his neck,” you reach for your satchel with determination. “Kurakh we’re going to need charcoal, and more wood added to the main fire.” He thankfully didn’t question you and made haste. It didn’t take you long to find your most treasured tools. A tiny iridescent blade that was easily the size of your hand, and almost as thin as your fingers. And a cast iron press of Eia’s true sigil.  You carefully set it on the table before searching for other ingredients and bandages. 

  Yulla sees it and immediately stops in her tracks, “is that a Kisarvuhevstabler?” 

  “Yes, is he ready,” you didn’t even look up as Kurakh returned with a small bowl of charcoal. Muscle memory takes over as you begin to mix your ingredients in a brass bowl decorated with ancient runes. Before Kurakh gets comfy you push the cast iron press towards him, “this goes in the fire. Long handle facing out obviously.” 

  Before Kurakh could take it, Yulla attempted to smack his hand away, “Elder, are you insane?” 

  “I beg your pardon?” 

  “Blood magic is forbidden!” 

  You couldn’t help but laugh, “it’s only been forbidden for the past six years. While Maids of Eia have used this magic for centuries. I’m not throwing centuries of tradition down the drain, simply because our King gets nauseous at the thought of it. Now you are going to watch and learn a technique that can no longer be taught in the temples, or Commander Galta can find you something else to do. He doesn't have much time left.” Yulla doesn’t respond or leave, conflict written all over her face. You spare a glance at Galta who looked as equally concerned as Yulla. “Galta we’re going to need a bucket that we’re not afraid to get dirty.” 

  When Galta steps away from the table, Yanna takes the opportunity to stand beside you. You place the bowl on the table, “the potion is made with crushed unicorn horn, charcoal, and stinging nettle. I’ll tell you the exact amounts later.” With a deep breath, you pick up the blade and remove it from its sheath. “It doesn't have to be a Kisarvuhevstabler for the spell to work. They are more a sign of status, to show you know the magic.” 

  You take a second to examine the disheveled Lieutenant laid before you. His skin was paling, a mysterious gray forming around the mouth. And his veins looked as if his blood turned black. His breathing was ragged, but strong enough to tell he was alive.  It appeared as if he wasn’t able to finish the full dose of the poison considering he survived the journey from the battlefield. By now a crowd has formed around the table, and you try your best to ignore them. The sound of an empty bucket hitting the floor signaled it was time to begin. 

  With the iridescent blade in your right hand, you turn to Yulla, “I will need you to turn him towards me when I give him the potion. But first, the bucket should be closer to where he will vomit when he is turned.” 

  “Understood,” she quickly moves the bucket before getting into position. You take a second to scan the crowd, surprisingly unable to find Kurakh anywhere. With a deep breath, you move the blade closer to your left wrist. 

   The blade pierces your skin, immediately stinging. In the ancient tongue, you pray, “Noble Eia, hear my prayer as I spill my blood as a testament of my conviction to thy doctrine.”  As you drag the blade up your arm diagonally, blood pools atop your skin. As soon as the first drop hits the bowl the runes carved inside begin to glow. “Hear my prayer so I may rid this soul's vessel of poison. Hear my prayer so I may heal in thy name.” The pain finally catches up to you, causing the blade to fall on the table. 

  You steady yourself by leaning on the table, “hear my prayer so this blood is not wasted.” You force yourself to push through the pain, picking up the blade and using it to stir your blood and the ingredients together. The room was silent around you, and every eye was focused on you. You gently lift the bowl to the Lieutenant’s lips, coaxing him to swallow the potion. Once the bowl was empty Yulla tilted him towards you. Luckily for him, it didn’t take long for the potion to work. 

  The visible darkness in his veins crept up his chest and into his neck as the spell expelled the poison from his body. It was almost like tiny black snakes were writhing in his veins. At this point, you knew he would be saved, and now it was time to save yourself. Weakly you raise your left arm, keeping your wound above your heart, and turn towards the main firepit. The crowd quickly parts for you as you step away from the table. No one said a word to you, mostly staring at you in disbelief. With the silence, it was easy to hear the Lieutenant retch the poison into the bucket. 

  It was a struggle to move your body through the pain and blood loss. But you've done this before. As you neared the fire it felt like the world around you was spinning. Within the blink of an eye, you were on the floor. Crawling instead of walking to the fire. Many voices were shouting your name. But nothing could shake you from this trance.  And none of them could save you from this, there was only one with that power. And you couldn’t help but mutter apologies in the ancient tongue, hoping for a sliver of mercy. 

  The world around you was slipping away, and all you could see was the hot iron in the coals. It felt like someone was kneeling beside you, trying to talk to you but there wasn’t much time to listen. You grab the handle of the hot iron, determined to prove yourself. With no hesitation, you laid the flat end decorated with sigils and runes onto your wound. The scream that escaped you would be considered unholy by some, but to the clergy, it was one of obedience and understanding. The pain was blinding, no matter how many times you've done it. Perhaps that was the point. The iron was lifted from your arm, most likely not by you. And despite how much you fought it, the void consumed you.

[mariacallous]

This week, as several European governments announced their plans to formally recognize the state of Palestine, the United States continued to press against the current. Earlier this month, the United States stood almost alone in its refusal to grant the Palestinian people an equal seat among the community of nations. The United Nations General Assembly approved its support of Palestinian statehood 143 to 9, with 25 nations abstaining. The thunderous applause that followed the vote marked both a celebration of international support for Palestinians and a protest against Israel and the United States.

Yet that vote was mostly symbolic. Full membership must first be approved by the U.N. Security Council, where the United States holds veto power. Back in 2011, the mere threat of an American veto sufficed to kill Palestine’s application for U.N. membership, but this April the Biden administration was obliged to cast the single vote that blocked Palestinian statehood.

America’s official position is that Palestinian statehood should be achieved through negotiations between Israelis and Palestinians. This stance is particularly ironic considering that the United States was the first government to recognize Israel in 1948, despite President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s earlier assurances to Saudi King Abdul Aziz ibn Saud that the United States would not intervene. Today, the Saudis demand that Israel support the two-state solution as a condition for advancing a regional security treaty they see as a means of countering extremism. But in effect, America has outsourced its veto power to Israel’s extremist government, framing statehood as a gift to be granted to Palestinians at the will of their occupier.

As a Palestinian American and an Israeli, working in partnership, we believe that no one—not Israel and not the United States—should be allowed to veto the Palestinian right to self-determination. To do so undermines not only Palestinian rights, but also Israeli and American interests.

The Palestinian interest

The failures of the Oslo Accords, reached in the mid-1990s, and subsequent decades of international neglect have sidelined the so-called Palestinian problem. The massacres and destruction that erupted with the Hamas attacks on Oct. 7, 2023—further escalated with Israel’s onslaught against Gaza—reminded the world that one of its longest-running conflicts will not magically disappear. Now, some 40,000 lay dead, twice as many are physically injured, and more than a million are displaced and on the brink of starvation. With Gaza in ruins, and the war still raging on, those who survive are left with not much more than deep despair and a desire for vengeance.

Statehood provides Palestinians with political agency that is not rooted only in violence. It offers them a path to self-determination with true political agency and dignity. Statehood also opens the door for a new generation of Palestinian leaders to move forward. In 2012, Palestine became a U.N. nonmember observer state, allowing it to later join the International Criminal Court and demand accountability under international law. Full membership in the world’s most important political body is not a panacea, but it would provide Palestinians with diplomatic tools that they currently lack and that could become crucial once negotiations with Israel finally start. More urgently, full statehood resists Israel’s attempts to paint all of Gaza’s remaining public infrastructure and public life as a terrorism threat. This makes statehood an essential vehicle for reaching a sustainable cease-fire, for ending the war, and for administering the physical and political reconstruction of Gaza. This is quite the opposite of the ridiculous attempts to frame statehood as a “reward for terrorism,” as Israeli hard-liners often depict it. Palestinians deserve a path toward a future that is not soaked in blood and empty promises.

And, frankly, so do Israelis.

The Israeli interest

In the wake of the Oct. 7 attacks, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his extremist government have exploited Israelis’ collective trauma and survivors’ guilt. Netanyahu’s efforts to avoid accountability for personal corruption, combined with his administration’s push toward annexation and authoritarianism, have strained a democracy already weakened by more than half a century of military occupation. Despite last year’s widespread protests against the government’s attempts to overhaul the judicial system, most Israelis fail to connect the occupation with the anti-democratic shift, the security failures since Oct. 7, and the rampant racism and social polarization in society. These trends are reinforced by police violence against protesters and the suppression and vilification of speech critical of the war effort, particularly on the part of Palestinian citizens of Israel.

Yet calls for recognizing Palestinian statehood are still being sounded both in the streets and online. As Minister of Finance (and extremist settler) Bezalel Smotrich starkly noted in a recent meeting with settler leaders, the growing recognition of Palestinian sovereignty around the world is making Palestinian statehood a “tangible, developing danger.”

But in truth, the greatest danger to Israel is Netanyahu’s ongoing sabotage of Palestinian political aspirations, a policy that strengthens both Israeli and Palestinian extremists, perpetuates war, and destroys the lives and livelihoods of those it pretends to protect. It may be leading the state founded to prevent a second genocide against the Jewish people to perpetrate one against another people. And it is recklessly isolating a small nation from its most loyal international allies, including U.S. President Joe Biden.

The American interest

Recognizing Palestinian statehood is not just another bargaining chip for pleasing the Saudis. It could indeed restore America’s diplomatic leadership and help recalibrate its global influence, leveraging positions against Russia and Iran, and even countering Chinese designs on Taiwan. The ongoing funding of two wars—one in Gaza and the other in Ukraine—is economically unsustainable and politically detrimental. Indeed, Biden’s current strategy toward Israel is alienating his progressive base and provides fodder for his political opponents. In characteristic doublespeak, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has criticized Biden’s handling of the war from multiple angles, encouraging his followers as they chant “Genocide Joe,” and then blasting Biden for postponing weapons shipments to Israel.

A bold step toward supporting Palestinian statehood could decisively shift the narrative. It would finally present the U.S. president as standing on the right side of history, and it would help him secure more political support domestically and internationally.

Some might insist that now is not the right time for intricate statecraft, as children are starving in Gaza. But at this historic moment, a mere cease-fire is simply not enough. We finally have the diplomatic opportunity, the political leverage, and the moral imperative to support transformative change. Biden risks not just his own reelection but the moral standing of the United States on the global stage. If his reelection bid fails, a reinvigorated Trump presidency would wreak havoc on the international order—including the cause of Palestinians.

Toward two states, and a land for all

If it’s difficult to imagine Israelis and Palestinians having shared interests and acting on them at this fraught moment, our organization can serve as an example. Both of us are board members of A Land for All (ALFA), a Palestinian/Israeli movement dedicated to peace, equality, and mutual self-determination for everyone living between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean Sea. We advocate creating a sovereign Palestinian state alongside Israel, with borders based on the 1967 lines. We also believe that many of the long-standing obstacles to a negotiated agreement can be overcome by establishing a two-state confederal union that guarantees freedom of movement and residence for both peoples across our shared homeland.

Achieving this vision will obviously not be easy, but the first step is clear. It is within Biden’s power to propose a new U.N. Security Council resolution recognizing a Palestinian state. If Biden is a true friend of the Israeli and Palestinian people, he must act now. It’s the right thing to do, and it might help save his reelection campaign.

[female-buckets]

No because I definitely came in with the new wave of fans but there's such a glaring difference between how I and the fans I interact with operate and how cc fans operate that it makes me pause sometimes.

And I can't say too much because I've seen some sane fans and I'm a paige fan and it still needs to be seen how much her hype translates outside of her personal bubble because I've seen quite a few people being stupid about her when it comes to uconn goats and you just immediately know they don't know shit about anything that's not her face but she made it click for me so im always gon be a little biased in my take that she actually does grow it outside of her.

Like I had been to my nba home games a handful of times throughout my years on earth and they were fun but it didn't make me give a rats ass outside of the time I spent in the arena so I thought I was safe in my hatred of sports and just liked the atmosphere of live events (true) and not basketball and I was a casual Angel defender whenever she popped up on social media because the massive racial backlash that put her on my radar was insane but I wasn't a fan I wasn't riding for her day in and day out I didn't tune in on purpose or by accident through the algorithm it still didn't make me realize I actually liked basketball yet but now, now it's like wow I'm literally the target audience I was supposed to end up here the whole time. Mind you I became a fan of Paige in April this year so every basketball game I've ever seen in real time has yet to actually involve her. She even got me mildly interested in the nba even though I still object on principle because I'm poor in both money and time and women > because she makes it unavoidable, she's so immersed in everything basketball.

That's the real difference between cc and Paige and the other girlies fanbases imo She's a very insulated person and obviously she had a different starting point than Paige with all the uconn alumni but p has put in the work for the connections with non alumni over the years and you see Juju and Flau'jae doing the work to immerse themselves right now and that's just never been her thing which is fine because I support doing your job and going tf home but it leads to a very different and largely insufferable fandom culture in this case because they have no respect for anyone thats not her they occasionally like people who exist on the peripheral of her life but the respect is little to nothing and its even easier to see now that she's on a professional team because they be talking crazy.

Paige is the chosen one. Paige Atreides. She's the Kwisatz Haderach. And Wasserman is the Bene Gesserit. Lindsay Kagawa Colas is the Reverend Mother arranging all the prophecies that Paige will fulfill.

Paige Atreides must come to WNBArrakis and learn our ways. And then she must liberate us from the Clarkonnens. Lisan Al Gaib! Lisan Al Gaib!

Okay but seriously I can't wait for Paige to come to the league. We need a fresh infusion of UConn fans to counteract all the negativity from CC's fanbase.

And as usual I have to put a disclaimer here. Disclaimer: not all Clark fans are Clarkonnens. But we need to be honest about the fact that Clarkonnens outnumber regular people in her fanbase. And many regular people are getting radicalized and turning into Clarkonnens because they're fed so much propaganda.

[mulling-over-milgram]

My current Remi theories

Agghhh I’m very late….but here we go ^^;

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊

TIMELINE SPECULATION

Okay so first of all again starting with a timeline. Now Remi’s recordings seem like they could be over the course of multiple years? So since as far as I’m aware we don’t know what year tsumigram takes place I’m going to be referring to the first paragraph of recording one as year 0001 and then if I believe the year changes 0002 so on and so forth so keep in mind I’m not actually referring to the real life years 0001 , 0002 , 0003 ect ect.

“Summer is ending. Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?” End of august

“Spring is ending. We part and come back together, this must be a form of true love for you; though as for me, I'm not so sure.” End of may

“Winter is ending. Closeness never matters; they switch their opinions in an instant, and always, always, always, always choose someone else instead.” End of February

“Autumn is ending This was a game of play-pretending for everyone but me; right, I wanted a place I and others could belong to, but as I've seen through lies, I'm burning down the theatre..” November/December

“Summer is ending. You simply disappeared without a word; I didn't care, did I care? Too many people, I get lost.” End of August again

Now there are two interpretations since the memories from this recording if my research is correct :

-1) the memories take place over the corse of five years which explains why we start in august the 8th month of the year and then go to the 5th , 2nd , 11/12th and finally back to 8th assuming the recordings are chronological then this is the only answer that really makes sense

-2) the alternative would be that the paragraphs are in reverse order so then you’d go 2>5>8>11/12>8

but I personally lean more towards them being in chronological order because there feels like a progression. In paragraph one Remi asks the other why they are still in this relationship? The relationship to borrow Remi’s metaphor had gone cold then in the next paragraph they seem to be on better terms but still not great then 3 we are back to the relationship being strained and getting worse…it won’t make alot of sense for us to start with “you simply disappeared” and end with “how long are we going to chew on this cold food? = how long are we going to prolong this dying relationship?

The only thing really giving me pause is that its such a long time. 5 years! Remi is 18 thats just under 1/3 of her life time…it makes me feel like I’ve made some mistake in my research….

moving onto the second memory

“Year by year, I look back and feel all the same, let me out of this, let me out of this loop! I wonder what kind of person I used to be before. Is it your fault? Changing me so much. Cherry blossom petals, a wave of crystal water covering my ankles, tender girly laughs from all sides.” CHERRY BLOSSOM’S SAVE THE TIME LINE YET AGAIN :D because cherry blossoms were blooming that places this paragraph around late March and early April.

“Ah, my first ever wish made on New Year night was to meet a true friend. I imagined my own friends, and this is how I became a writer, slowly but surely. I met real friends to grow up with, slowly but surely, but all of them were condescending, and I got trapped in a small box of expectations. “ because its new years eve December 31st

“Warm snowflakes falling from the night sky, the stars are never seen in the city; I watch myself looking up from the sidelines, holding onto the lantern as my last hope.” Now personally I interpret the warm snow flakes line as describing the stars rather than actual snowflakes as warm snowflakes is a contradicting description and the fact the next line literally talks about the stars with that in mind the lantern is the only clue as to wear to place the memory now I’m not fully sure on this but the main Japanese lantern related thing I could find was Toro Nagashi now I’m a little iffy on this since from my research Toro nagashi is mostly about the dead and guiding dead souls but I did see a few places mention wishes “Toro Nagashi is a summer tradition in which people make wishes and float paper lanterns down a river” again I’m really not sure about this but its the best connection I could find so far…this slots (assuming the toro nahashi connection is correct) this memory at the 13th - 16th of August or July.

“Running through a chilly meadow, sun rising and I hold your hand, catching lavender clouds as I stay at home.” Chilly = cold // cold = autumn? September December???

“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body.” Warmth = summer???

I’m quite shaky on alot of the conclusions but my overall interpretation of the time line is.

The trial starts possibly some time in December due to 003’s birthday being soon after T1 starts???

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊

FULL TIMELINE THEORY

0001 / august / ?? Summer is ending. Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?”

0002 / march / April / ??

“Year by year, I look back and feel all the same, let me out of this, let me out of this loop! I wonder what kind of person I used to be before. Is it your fault? Changing me so much. Cherry blossom petals, a wave of crystal water covering my ankles, tender girly laughs from all sides.”

0002 / may / ?? “Spring is ending. We part and come back together, this must be a form of true love for you; though as for me, I'm not so sure.”

0003 / February / ??

“Winter is ending. Closeness never matters; they switch their opinions in an instant, and always, always, always, always choose someone else instead.”

0003 / December / 31st

“Ah, my first ever wish made on New Year night was to meet a true friend. I imagined my own friends, and this is how I became a writer, slowly but surely. I met real friends to grow up with, slowly but surely, but all of them were condescending, and I got trapped in a small box of expectations. “

0004 / August / ??

“Warm snowflakes falling from the night sky, the stars are never seen in the city; I watch myself looking up from the sidelines, holding onto the lantern as my last hope.”

0004 / September / ??

“Running through a chilly meadow, sun rising and I hold your hand, catching lavender clouds as I stay at home.”

0004 / december / ??

“Autumn is ending This was a game of play-pretending for everyone but me; right, I wanted a place I and others could belong to, but as I've seen through lies, I'm burning down the theatre..”

0005 / august / ??

“Summer is ending. You simply disappeared without a word; I didn't care, did I care? Too many people, I get lost.”

0005 / August / ??

“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body”

0005 / December / ??

milgram

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THOUGHTS ON HER CRIME

Now moving on to what I think remi’s crime is…..I have not idea! That is the reason why this is so late because I am completely lost on what it could be :)

clearly remi was in some sort of unfulfilling relationship were she felt she was giving more then taking , felt neglected and like it was dying for a long while before it actually ended. So her victim is probably that person?

as for the description

“You're squeezing something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes, so you can't see what's there; sun’s warmth is on your back, a chill feeling spreading over the body.

It's not the time to listen to yourself. It's never the time, remember?

Your knees and hands seem to hurt, but you keep on pushing, can't give up — now or never”

ummm it kinda gives me the vibes of drowning? Like keep pushing = keep pushing the head under water??? Water coving her eyes could be because she’s also under water…? But I feel like “something heavy with your hands, water covering your eyes,” thats gotta be tears right? Like yes it could be a large body of water was involved if so probably the one implied here “a wave of crystal water covering my ankles,”

Her murder location does look like a lake surrounded but trees to me? But that could just be the distortion. That what go me started down the whole drowning train of thought.

(Gorgeous diagram I know)

but just overall I don’t have a strong theory (this seems to be a reoccurring theme….)

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊

RECORDING/UNDER COVER IMAGES

Once again moving on. Time to tackle these two images , her memory recordings and her undercover.

Starting with the memory recording this is alot more abstract then hotaru’s so I feel like the symbolism in it can be read into more. Remi is in space and I feel like space is probably a metaphor for her relationship. Space is cold and a vacuum you can’t speak or be heard in space (without special equipment and the whole no speaking thing is more that if you open your mouth you die and boil/freeze alive but lets put the logistics to the side for a minute) she is surrounded by other planets (possibly reproductive of the other people like the other people implied by lines like “ tender girly laughs from all sides.” / “I wanted a place I and others could belong to” / always choose someone else instead“ ect) and how planets and other celestial objects go in set orbit going round and around on the same path could be seen as similar to how remi describes the relationship “So tiring. I need to break the cycle.” There’s falling star’s in the bg which could refence wishing stars or possibly the concept of star crossed lovers? Or wishing

I attempted to map the planets from the art to our solar system which again not sure if its ment to be our solar system or just a general space setting but if it is our solar system then perhaps we could read into the fact that in this context remi would be on the outer side of the solar system far away from the sun and in the colder part of the system.

unrelated observations that the shape on the side kinda looks like a wave or maybe thats just my conformation bias talking…?

And this art could also possibly reference a magical girl transformation ??? I feel like I’m reaching to much with those last two points tho…

As for the undecover frame we have already seen remi liken her relationship to food “Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food?” So relationship metaphor???

there seems to be strawberries in the picture which according to google in japan has symbolism of love and is a gift on valentines day in japan….? it is also apparently a symbol of the goddess Venus which links it back in with space but idk

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡༻ੈ✩‧₊˚₊

MY CURRENT THOUGHTS ON VOTING

I really don’t feel like I know enough to vote her anything….? I went with victim in the end because I didn’t really feel like I had any strong concussion on her situation but I feel like I gotta be missing something cuz it was 50% predator when I originally wrote this section.

[samtallchester]

To my moots, followers and friends. I know you follow me for my content or whatever other reason. And I know you must have noticed the sudden number of posts based on Portuguese elections and are probably gonna skip this post. If you're still reading this, thank you.

Portugal clearly isn't the only one heading this way. You may have heard of Vox [Spanish far right party] as well and maybe other countries. Sure there are wars raging. There is a lot going on and you'll probably think "what does it even matter?" Because many people do, because true, we are [thankfully] not going through any of that. But what I want to bring to attention is important at least to me. And I wanted to share with everyone. Because oppression still matters.

25th April marks the year my grandparents – minus my ugly ass paternal grandpa (an oppressor working for the dictator), as well as my grandparents' parents were freed from the dark clutches of the reign of terror known as the New State.

50 years later, it's happening again. AD won and Chega wants a coalition. If he doesn't achieve so, and Montenegro continues with his original plan of leading a minority government, Ventura [CHEGA] claims to shoot down any bills he may want to pass – which is petty imo. But you know politics is politics.

Eventually, AD is gonna have to go. Minority governments don't last. So Portugal may be stuck with Chega at some point in the next 5 years. My home will no longer be a democracy but will be a fascist reign of terror once again because no doubt. Estado Novo [The New State] will be back, if Ventura really brings it back. Censorships. Health care will totally change. Immigrants will be forced to go back to their home countries. Romi people will likely be dislodged. Abortion laws will change. Trans people will not be allowed to be who they are.

All because young people like us let themselves fool themselves into believing that André Ventura is right. Maybe because their romi neighbor made them mad last week so they voted Chega, whatever petty reason. Or PSD messed them up, I don't care.

They haven't learned. Surely their grandparents told them stories about how worthless living was under Salazar. Or some might have even died because people like my paternal grandpa hunted them down for being anti-fascist. And yet, you still vote for the same man who thinks women are beneath him. Who made a fuss over BE's leader wearing bright red lipstick and shamed her [Marisa Matias] for it.

I am disappointed in my nation. We are welcoming those people into our arms, not even caring where we are voting and God I feel disgusted that people these days are so stupid that they vote another party out of revenge? So what? There's like 10 parties. You could have picked another.

We are disappointing our ancestors and Mario Soares. The MFA [Movimento das Forças Armadas], every single person who fought 48 years of oppression and censorship.

Maybe I got some facts wrong – because i am not perfect and i am trying to merely educate myself. The future is uncertain. That is for sure. Because genuinely, I am ashamed to believe this country really lost its sense. Our ancestors deserved better.

[magicalyaku]

Greetings! I just realized that all it takes to get rid of me is giving me a good videogame to play. I started playing I was a Teenage Exocolonist and it's so hard to stop! Why is it so good?! Aaah! Ahem. Anyway, welcome to Part Two of my big wrap up of all the books I read between April and July! The theme this time is France & Other Places! Yes, somehow France got lumped in with all sorts of otherworldy realms. :P

A Paris Affair (Maureen Marshall): Not sure why my brain thought I'd get something like In Memoriam with this. It's historical fiction as well but otherwise they have nothing in common. If I had to compare it, it'd be to Will Darling by KJ Charles (which I loved). A capable protagonist, a sly, lying, and handsome rich guy, and conspiracies. It was fun! Vivid. It made me want to actually go and look at the Eiffel Tower again. Like, I've been there as a child but it's not that special for us nowadays, right? But reading about its construction and the discourse about it, it started to feel a little special. I also liked the historial bits about Parisian culture und such. I'm not into history at all, but getting small bits in my books is nice.

The Alchemy of Moonlight (David Ferraro): Major content warning for spiders in this one. There are a few scenes in the first half of which one is really, really not fun if you can't stand spiders. Personally, I tried very hard not to think about what I was reading. /D I'm usually only bad with visual images but given that I just had an unfriendly encounter with General Spidermom and her hellspawn in my bathroom I was a little unamused. Anyway, the rest of the book was fine. (Just fine.) It's apparently gothic but despite the crawlycrawly and the old castle and the ghosts and secret tunnels, the vibe was a little lost on me. It's also set in France and apart from the occassional croissant it didn't feel French at all. The Paris Affair? So French, so lively! This one? Could have been any European country with nobility. As for the love interests, one was too good to be true (meh), the other one started out toxic, but was redeemed (meh as well). The ending, well … In some ways, it turned out pretty good (I did went woah! at one point). In others, I thought it was a little easy (didn't feel that relationship solution. Seemed to me more like "I don't want to decide, so I'll take the easy way out.") And the protagonist … he wasn't terrible. I just thought he must be the prettiest thing alive if every guy falls for him at first sight. And I wish we would have been told how his aunt knew about his preferences? Usually, in this type of story, it's revealed that the hero had like one experience with the stable boy or some lord's son or whatever, but there's nothing in here. He had never talked about it before and yet his aunt knew well enough to want to send him to an asylum of all things! Give me details! All in all, it was entertaining to read, but in the end it was just fine.

Otherworldly (F.T. Lukens): This is the book that held up the entire post. I thought maybe I'll remember something about it later! I didn't and I feel bad about. I have no recollection of the time and place I read this either. But that is how it is. It's a solid book, I'd say, otherwise I would have something to nag about. 8D Nah, Luken's books usually are good. Cute, adventurous, ultimately positive. And the cover art is beautiful.

The Diablo's Curse (Gabe Cole Novoa): This is the sequel to A Wicked Bargain. Do you have to read it beforehand … probably not? Dami is the only recurring character and there are only a few allusions to the first book. I certainly didn't remember much except the general setup around el Diablo and the contracts. And that I had some issues with Mare and how the plot progressed as in "I have to save my dad, but I'm here doing nothing for two months". That didn't happen in The Diablo's Curse! The first part is so fun with the dynamic between Dami and Silas, and afterwards it's very focused and always going forward with just the right amount of tension. Also, I just like Dami. And I like, intended or not, how their gender fluidity parallels their upbringing (as in no human culture to tell them how to be, and that paired with an adaptable body). I enjoyed reading this a lot!

Nightmares in Paradise (Ring of Solomon 2) (Aden Polydoros): I faintly remember being a little disappointed by the first volume because I wished it would try a little harder and dig a little deeper. This second volume does that, you know, a little, I think. I'm not the biggest fan of the writing style with its million pop culture references, but I can imagine kids loving it. Also, I have to give the author credit for actually writing different than in his books for older readers. I liked this better than the first volume. Grumpy Ash is good and he doesn't behave like one of the kids. I was a little shocked how easily they kill off three children in the beginning. Like wtf, can you please think about that for two seconds, dear protagonists? Never mind the main bully guy, but what about the other two? That was a little weird. Other than that, the story takes place in the Garden of Eden and has some more biblically accurate depictions of angels and a lot of "they can either be good or bad" and I wonder how actual Christians think about this. :'D

That's it for Part Two. Two more to go! Next up will be Gay Adult Fiction series. And August is almost done as well haha …

[a-pale-azure-moon]

WIP Wednesday

It's done.

There will be revisions and tweaks to make between now and when I post it in a few days, but I have finished the final chapter of Someday We'll Shine Together. At long last, it is complete.

I'm struggling to distill all of my emotions into words at the moment. This fic has been a part of my life for about three years now. I'm feeling accomplished and proud of myself for really and truly finishing it despite the fact that when I first had the idea, I was convinced this was another of those fleeting inspirational flashes that would never go anywhere and would forever languish in my WIP folder. I got very attached to this story in the process of creating it, and I got even more attached to it when it was one of the things that helped see me through a very difficult time in my personal life. As such, I'm also grieving that it's over and that I now must let it go. Sure, it'll always exist for me to revisit whenever I want, but that feeling is never the same as the one derived from actively working on it.

While I'm still digesting all of these emotions, here's a rough timeline and some background of the fic's development, so you can all see how I finally got to this point. This is pretty personal too, because the two are irrevocably intertwined. (Content warning: death/grief)

Summer 2020: Initial inspiration hits after I rewatched Utena during COVID lockdown.

Fall 2020: Brainworms are on-and-off active, writing short blurbs in a Google doc when they come to me, but there's no true shape to the whole plot yet, it’s just random scenes. It's more or less still strictly a 3H-esque retelling of Utena, and I'm not expecting anything to actually come of these blurbs.

Winter 2020: More blurbs trickle in here and there. The story in my head is starting to divert more drastically from the show.

February 19, 2021: Draft of the pivotal scene at the end of Chapter 15 written. I remember the specific day for this because I wrote it the same day we put down our dog, Clancy. (Writing emotional scenes often helps me process my own emotions.)

April 11, 2021: Creation of my dedicated author's notes file to keep track of the various threads and ideas I'd come up with, especially the backstory about Faerghus and how Dimitri became the Lion Prince. I filled it in like an extended summary or wikipedia entry about the 'verse and the overall plot of the story. I jotted a lot of stuff down between April and June as the brainworms really got to work again.

Summer 2021: I'm starting to entertain the idea of actually seeing this project through. Chapters 1 and 2 are drafted over the summer months, but I hit a block and the self doubt comes roaring right in to deter me.  A LARGE part of my struggle with getting this fic out of development hell was me being unable to get out of my own way.  Every stumbling block I hit (especially early on) was an invitation for my inner critic to resume browbeating me into giving up this “stupid” idea.

September 2021: I finally make up my mind that I'm really going to do this, and I spend the next six weeks ironing out the bumps in the plot and making a chapter-by-chapter outline highlighting the key scenes/plot points/character beats within each one. I organized the various blurbs I had into chronological order and put them under the correct chapter headings. I also started thinking of the best way to get myself to see this project through, as well as what would be a realistic timetable for its completion. I estimated that the final length of the whole thing would be around 350 pages or roughly 150K words. (This is hilarious to me in hindsight.  I severely underestimated the scope of this fic!)

November 2021: I try to do the NaNoWriMo challenge (50K words in a month) to draft as much of the fic as I can. I "only" produce about 35K words in the end, but it was enough to draft Chapters 3 and 4 and write at least one decent-sized blurb within each of all of the remaining chapters.

December 2021: I took a short hiatus from working on SWST to finish Beneath the Ethereal Moon. When that's done, I went over my outline yet again to refine it further and then cleaned up my draft of Chapter 1 with an eye on posting it after right after New Year's. I determined that posting (and writing) one chapter per month should be doable, especially since I have a generous buffer to start with.

January 2022: I get a bad case of cold feet/anxiety and don't post Chapter 1. I'm having trouble getting a feel for Chapter 5 and fail to finish it before the end of the month. (This naturally doesn't help alleviate my self-doubt or silence my very loud inner critic.)

February 2022: Cold feet strike again and I fail to post Chapter 1 a second time. I'm still stuck on Chapter 5 (though I've at least made some progress), and while I'm extremely aware that I'm being my own worst enemy, that doesn't make it any easier to beat back old habits.

March 2, 2022: In the wee hours of the night (it was after midnight), I finally posted Chapter 1 and went straight to bed after. I slept terribly of course, haha.

I wish I could say "and you know the rest from here," but that's not true. Posting Chapter 1 was a huge mental hurdle cleared, but there were other things going on behind the scenes that almost derailed this project for good. The timing was such that if I were more prone to hubris, I'd think that the universe itself was testing my resolve. Or possibly mocking me.

On March 3, 2022 (yes, the day after I posted Chapter 1), my father was admitted to the hospital with a debilitating pain in his lower back. Initially, we thought it might be a flare up of his sciatica or maybe something like a kidney stone, but the truth was far worse. What he had was a spinal epidural abscess caused by a bacterial infection in his blood. He was transported to the ICU of a larger (further away) hospital once the severity of his condition was discovered, and he was pumped full of massive doses of antibiotics. Thanks to that, he stabilized, but what followed after was a long period of uncertainty as he would start to make gains only to suffer a setback. Even once the infection and his pain level were under control, he'd been so severely sick that the bacteria had ravaged his various body systems, leading to issues with his kidneys and his heart.

For 91 days, my family and I were stuck on a wretched rollercoaster of getting hopeful (he was transferred to a rehab facility three different times when it looked like he was improving) and then having our hopes dashed when something would happen that would see him sent back to the hospital (falling out of bed, chest pains, difficulty breathing). Hope began to fade in mid May when he was transferred back to the ICU due to diastolic heart failure, which caused his lungs to fill up with fluid. They tapped his lungs thrice, removing at least a liter of fluid each time, but they kept filling up again despite all the diuretics the doctors were giving him. Then his kidneys began to shut down too. We kept hoping right until the end, but he passed away on June 1, 2022, the day before what would've been his and my mother's 49th wedding anniversary.

(Proof that real life can be even crueler than fiction.)

I was only able to continue updating SWST while my father was sick because of that buffer I'd had, and I very nearly deleted the story from AO3 altogether after he died. I remember ruminating about how futile it was to continue with this project; I'd written almost nothing while he was sick, so my buffer was now gone and I questioned whether or not I'd be able to write, let alone write consistently, with the promised months of grief and general upheaval ahead. Even writing a story that I had, to that point, been passionate about felt utterly pointless.

It was strange though. I woke up on June 2nd thinking that maybe I should go ahead and post chapter 4 anyway, since it was already done and it was one of the chapters I particularly liked. So I did. And in the following days, we had my father's funeral and a part of me felt like I could breathe again. I was grieving yes, but the constant daily stress and uncertainty from his illness was gone, and I think that freed my creative drive to start working again. I remember the first day I sat back down at my computer with the intention to write and how much better I felt in general after I got some words onto the screen.

It's hella ironic that I planned SWST with grief and loss as major themes and it turned out I'd be processing such things myself while writing most of it. I know my own grief affected the story, though it's impossible to say to what degree; I get a lot of catharsis in general from writing emotional scenes, so I tend to go hard on them regardless. It didn't change the plot or direction of the story at all, since that was already planned, but it's certainly safe to say that I channeled a lot of my own feelings into some of the most intense moments. The ending of Chapter 9 stands out in particular as something that felt like it was coming straight out of my own heart.

Even on the hard days when I was feeling too overwhelmed and/or the words just weren’t coming, this story gave me a reason to keep going.  Just keeping the goal in mind and reasserting my resolve to be consistent and see this project through to the end helped me cope.  It both kept me grounded and helped me process what I was going through and it gave me something to look forward to when I uploaded each chapter and anxiously waited to see what the readers would think.

I started this fic as a means of testing myself: testing my commitment to writing consistently, to finishing a long-term project, and to getting over at least some of the many, MANY mental hurdles that have held me back from writing for way too long.  I knew that this story would always be near and dear to me if I managed to finish it, but it became even more precious than I ever could’ve imagined back in 2020.  It hurts that I must say goodbye to it, but…it’s forever mine.  I can say with my whole chest that I MADE THIS THING and I’m so very proud of it! <3

[gacmediadaily]

Last night, Candace Cameron Bure did a special Q&A with her Instagram followers and revealed some exciting news—she will have several movie projects coming up with Great American Family!

In the first (film-related) question, someone asked: "Are you working on any new projects?"

Candace responded with, "Yes!! I have mystery movies coming out in the Fall on Great American Family Channel called The Ainsley McGregor Mysteries."

I couldn't help from noticing she said MOVIES, which must mean the network will be airing at least two of these new Ainsley McGregor mysteries this Fall!!

Also, to the same question, "Are you working on any new projects?", Candace posted this response, "I also have a new Christmas movie premiering in November on Great American Family Channel called A Christmas Less Traveled.

Of course, we are already aware of this Christmas movie project—since GFAM officially announced it in a press release on April 17th. I still couldn't resist resharing her Christmas movie news!

In another question, someone asked, "Why did you leave Hallmark?"

Candace's response was thoughtful and I hope it enlightens those who have been wondering... "It wasn't so much leaving as it was about an opportunity to grow a new network that puts faith and family at the forefront of its content. I'm very proud of the work I did at Hallmark for 15 years and love all my friends there 😊.

Again, to the same question, "Are you working on any new projects?", Candace shared another response, "Also prepping to shoot two more films for Great American Family Channel in the Summer."

Wow! That is great news! We can only guess, at this point, what these "two more films for Great American Family" might be! Could both be more Ainsley McGregor mysteries, a second Christmas movie, or perhaps, a romantic comedy? Candace has yet to do a romantic comedy for the network, outside of the Christmas movie season.

If you'd like to share a guess, please do so in comments below.

In Podcast news, Candace shared, "Also, Season 7 of the @CandaceCameronBurePodcast starts next week!!! Lots of Surprises!!!!"

For those of you who may have been wondering about Candace's clothing line with QVC, her DaySpring products, etc... 

Candace's answer to this question was- "God said it's a new season in partnerships! I'm working on so much- some that will be new and some that will feel familiar 😊. I can't wait to share them when the time is right." Looks like we will have to wait a little longer to learn more details on these new business adventures!

And I saved the best for last, as Candace spoke openly about her faith and commitment to The Lord. "Have you seen the goodness of God today," one follower asked. 

Candace revealed, "I share time in God's word every day. I see His goodness, joy, sovereignty, grace, mercy, holiness, and love every day I read the Holy Bible. I look for His character in every passage. Every page. Every chapter. Every book."

Candace also posted this delightful, uplifting scripture, "Happy is the person who fears the LORD, taking great delight in his commands." Psalm 112:1 Amen to that! I always find my true joy, peace, and strength in God and His Word!

I hope you enjoyed this special Q&A with Candace Cameron Bure! It's always great fun to see so many actors and actresses sharing upcoming movie projects on social media, and I wish I could share them all, but there's simply not enough time in the day. However, I do look forward to sharing more news on movies as they are officially announced!

[iknowyouliedbane]

The Story & Legend of Lord Banegrivm aka Rogueknight

Banegrivm's Discord is Banegrivm#3328 or banegrivm#3328

The Fist is his guild.Say you met him on WOW Emerald Dreams, say you noticed his lovely his armour or something. This bloke won't know what hit em.

Here kitty kitty Pumpkin where are you little mans...I heard him say in over voice chat once a long time ago. Must have cats working his magic for him.

He has been attacking me through the ether. Nothing he has stated online or otherwise, has been made a secret. He habitually blasts his personal business in chat on Emerald Dreams on a regular basis, if you are in his guild. Which I am. I am right here within his ranks. Ive seen people come, ive seen people go. Ive heard about all the victims he ruined mentally/emotionally/ etc and never gets justice served to him for his crimes. He thinks he is s leader, but he is more like the police. He is not good at being the leader is this guild, and here on discord, I have seen it all.

He vapes weed out the side dorr of his place in Mechanicsburg, PA, upper floor, he is behind 2 security doors. He sleeps during the day like a vampire. I know this because ive been stalking him for years. Im in Wisconsin but sometimes go to Pennsylvania for skiing at the family cabin, so yeah I made a pass to verify that he lives there, even though way out the way! But anyways, just to see if what I found lonline as public information, was true, which he does live there. But I dont care, I just forgot the address and moved on, but I know that he is in hiding and has no income, makes everyone here in the guild pay his way, pay for the game subscription, his stuff is all charity for him, he is not on disablility not going there, but anyways he has no income becasue he begs ofr help from me and others, and im sick of it. Now that I know that truth, i feel bad for him. Kind of, but not really, he could get a job and leave his abusvie mom who looks over his shoulder the whole time, he even made her a moderator and its creepy, sometimes I think he is living vicariously through her, like she isnt doing it, she isnt emailing harrassing emails to his rejectors, (all me again), fake accounts) and I think he is living in insanity. He doesnt have an identity anymore, he lost that when he 'lost face" with society, and now an outcast, so he lives in issolation. He dreams of taking us all to court, he said to us, that all the people who stalked him online should pay, yet, he was the only one abusing anyone. Im wise enough to know that, yet here I am, a part of his dark sick twisted circus. He has no idea he added me as a member to The Fist, and then he met Vinnchzzk or " whoever the hell that is".., after "she" left the guild I realized he had no idea that "she" was a HE. He thinks Vinn is the first version of "her" he has met. Vinn is a guy!!!!! Its a big fat joke on him!!!!! He fell for it, she isnt even a real person. April had the charactor online from a guild in another state, and her photos were used but its not actually her, she has nothing to do with the discord, guild, cuild chat, WOW, EverQuest, etc etc etc. She only was in a couple of our D&D sessions, and that whole youtube thing went nowhere fast, The Dept of Dread on youtube playing a Ravenloft campaign in 2021ish?)

He thinks he met the real girl on social media, but "she" met him from EverQuest, a long ass time ago children. Im in my 40s, so that is telling you something, I was just a kid, Ive known his ways for years now. Banegrivm, whoever this charctor is, also goes by Reverend Bob on the Ravenloft game, he narrates and does a fine job and everything, but make another person do the DMing, and he takes all the credit, we are all talking about that, and I have a lot of respect for Bane but I wont say that everything he has done is okay, its just not cool to be honest. I wont usehis real name here so i can avoid defamtion lawsuit, he is waiting for someone to do so. But I can vent myself about a fictional charactor, from a guild that im a part of, but have had not official introduction to any of these people if known for 20 years, im not even sure they are who they are anymore.

I met him online years ago, before WOW. Ive been following this for years, and he will keep yelling at him mom and threatening her if she doesnt cast spells on the women who reject him online. I think he gives her sexual favors to read tarot and give him answers. I dont actually know but that is what another tarot reader told me about them. But I have made fake accounts for him to fall victim too, like the hunter becomes the hunted, he fell victim to my collosal web, spun with love and hate, just for him. Nothing more powerful can come about than that which comes from the heart, and the heart of an earth angel is what he tried to crush with his corrupted roots of rotting hatred and scorn. He is the bane to everything that could be magical or beautiful, or innocent. He is a corruption that is is hiding with his mother, the author of the book the Throne of Piddle, he proclaimed this. Ever since the Circle of Corriander or whatever the fuck it was called, he has made me SICK.

There is an existing post from someone who knew him from the same place and they mentioned barfing or something, so < im not alone. Plus I have heard and seen the screenshots of countless professions of love then turn around and hex the same person to dust. He is a real warlock. He attacks you with his mind and searches you with the email you use for things, dud. He is not that smart. He thinks he duped his victims and the protectors of his victims, by lying about someone making a title of Banegrivm and posing as him doing illegal shit then saying Oh! That wasnt me - they made a fake handle or whatever he would say with his lack of tact. I have nothing against him personally but the fact that he constantly lies in his various online functions pisses me off to no end. Yeah, he definitely was guilty of that long convo witht he person posing as a teen, even though he fell for that bait...He tried to say online that he was innocent and has a problem even being around children because he is afraid of being a monster in other people's eyes, avoiding judgement either way if he is guilty of child-grooming or not, he is still in hiding and hiding his drug habit from his own mother, she is his narcissistic supply, and between her and his grandmother who he claimed raised him, he publically says he is special, and this si how these women raised him to think of himself, as better than other, since his father and soon thereafter stepfather abandoned his mother, (gee I wonder why that would be, maybe she was crazy and couldnt get away from her mother, generations of insanity and narcissism)

Im the kind that keeps freaks monsters and the like up on my wall. Sure I had to add him, to get in his circle, but its all part of the hunt. The hunt for the truth.

So yeah its not great looking for whoever wants to judge me go ahead but i know that as long as he keeps looking up these tumblr pages with his name, he will know that we know ;)

[libidomechanica]

And this same slender prise

A curtal sonnet sequence

               1

Yet I would strew sweet flatter, in sleep a king, but, in all inertial systems, which at this, they led on first, bent to hear it I probably ignored you when you rise with waltzing and ill. A relief to the river rinses the dark. Hums, in wakeful rest. When hurt she is winsome and bower, shall still be there. I wish that she sings. To fayne, and great Augustus long ygoe is dead. Pass, thou art of heaven. And this same slender prise.

               2

The village is not to receives; amid this might be kings’ abodes; while singly name, and did me much improvement with you, my most true mind thus quell’d and curse. Let me or float or sink, be wiser than Phoebe’s sapphire-region’d star, from chain-swung censer teeming; no shrine, no grove, and singe our gold and ripe-ear’d hopes. Silver-white, and build a college, or to found a race, a hospital, a church,—and leaves and this same slender wand.

               3

Let me or float or sink, be high or low. Ah, gentle Juan, though here they are rich and ransom all ill deeds. Stay happy, honest, stay as tall as you might see swallows its stem and Logos appears and unless dian had chaced away that I am withouten leaue: his musicks might tell us what and wherein no reveller had ever dwell; whate’er he got her, I see nought to do with the bent-knee swagger of horsemen.

               4

Some long pursuer, worn out with importune! That you both will sag toward childhood will not gainsay the generous emulation, even into the vaulted, boundlesse armour rusts, and then to the deep, deep water- world, to find Endymion! So as the rear diminishing too, the bride she is singing birds that comes to each in turn, until her turn arrives, after a sort; but speach, alas, failes me, fearing on the season.

               5

For thou hadst cool’d their native land, and as you grew light gathered in like a broken parting aught for her smooth to their foot-prints. Kissing snatch thee into endless here is to me, and the red dress dancing and witty, and your true rights be term’d a pair. The treasure lay stone-still, and thronging come like this? Out that when we hover between what I hate you for being a boat and then a sight able to face and beauty dwells, in light!

               6

Can’t form a friend Don Juan was delights! But with his searing her beames, take with you enter on paths perilous bustle; while upon their minds or backs are bereav’d me, harmes had taught by Heav’n to glow, far, far around me, cheering me to comfortable green and juicy hay from human hand; gold vase emboss’d with lily shells, and drink my fill; but ah! You could be in NY for a fair Briton hides half her attraction to go wrong.

               7

Against all procreative creed, baptize posterity—and so are you; and whom do we remember always,—they knew not where? With lullaby content, or die and are put into the deep, deep water-world, to find him dropt upon the wide home. Which makes bank credit give to board me for my part in life, for good nor harm being merely innocent because I have seen these shadow of a fox, daybreak. Room after rapine bent.

               8

The pride of a mere child do deeds of youth, the Master in infinite mercy offers the firmament. There vnseene, thou may’st not exclaim, How then, without thinking; thinke no more I will not touch me with her, because there yet remains sharply crystal-smooth it felt, and lived, boxes everywhere, noiseless, sub-marine cloudlets, glittering refusals and will not be founder’d, I think and speak of a nearby mountains topped with thine arm!

               9

In rymes of rybaudrye. But thou art not for scenes like Aurora’s lip; his very bower doth enshrine such utmost age eas’d in one interview a thing with joy, even now. A young unmarried at a’? By the home that feele the like, the gold-eyed serpent dwelling in an April rain, nor be my desolate my waking must have a genius turn’d of fortune—he has enough; succeeded, and some, in youth, mine eye untrue.

               10

Was a wonder, if you note it with thickset fruit.—Whose solitary pastures; or, O torturing fact! Nymphs round his state, and lyftes him vp out of that will he touch me with pity oft will tell to those which is deem’d amiable and distinction of the sad consequence of the long- abandoned field. In me, till round his wither’d when bleak November; even thought aymes at the door of happiness lessened in my rhyme.

               11

Like many people talking of me; well, if it prove a girl, the boat whose thraldom was more thicker than by lecture, that large. Yoke of tyrannizing was there no such treasure of the long darkness flowed away with music; the most moderate: sometimes anger thrusts into metaphysics, that you were all scummy slime from off a crystal roof by fishes’ tails. Of silence and the bett for the hand, the charm. I dreamed that I lived?

               12

By your looks them down with the kind world’s end. Parted its dripping leaves with eager eyes woo as mine, robb’d others’ beds’ revenues of this universe? To some black chords upon a rock above the whole; its range being high as heaven, when I have grieved so I am hard to make it threefold, it must be wooed. And never more wildering steps, O Moone, thou climbst the sex in little spoil’d, but never once a help would find, to ease me.

               13

He shall no more, speaks no more thicker than their guilt: for Fame’s a Carthage not so idle: for down-glancing the shape of darkness. Bosom, all my spirit: despairs, till it begins to swear how his little turret whence a tower in ancient Nox;—then skeletons. Much success, no doubt I should be a little weep, Love, strive nor weep: all be as before full-borne King sublime! Tempers my ways of flurrying is my inner and over.

               14

And hold up to you it was you at the quiet-coloured end of those eyes you praised be halfe so deare as you are coming hither, and I was gazing eyes; that, at his heart? I know not whence thou doe sitt: and yet bent on matches. Flying off bridges, hurling myself will take; she shall direct how to consummate all. Though doubtless they eyed each one’s gentle wrists, with good principles for the whole matter. Even the single readers.

               15

On some bright Argus blazing sun, thou pointest out the stones i’ th’ street by far, go thou afore, and me in roses. Till the splendour of the most sweet favour or deformed’st creatures, and Aethon snort his morning pure and the taste the garden bed that the patching house drowsing through a hundred years with their soule of sence bereaue, all as the lowly dust: and singe our gold and new, in pain or pleasure she doth of sorrow marry.

               16

My thoughtlessly, nor altar heap’d with its endless here is my sin and shower, was the strong darts but weak relief to him that best I wish in thee, Moon! Until I see with your promises and thistle-ball, no bar, onward, whenever—which mere hopes allure nations in empurpled vests, and cradled me in the old man lay a pearly house. Could send forth my mandate like a skater glided: when tired of all your pious talk.

               17

Your frailties, and in the other stones, to soothe the squares, and this restless world, north, south, or wealth, or wealth, or wealth, or wits, or wit, or any of these far majesties, ah, few! Whoever hath her wish, thou hadst never miss home-talk and blessing hand or trouble, well cultivated, it never will last limits of our beds and swallow’d by unrest. Should I not form my speculative hit, but seats a nation or upsets a throne.

               18

Stella, Soueraigne of my ioy, and in my proper sight, clos’d with fright, fainted away in the rusty nails and chicken feathered councils, wielding duct tape, noticing thence doth keepe, when I was wont to meet he welcome guest, clips streight wraps me in his night, with buls and swallow’d by unrest. My wife is never why I’m not breath. No need to tell thy name, and did me much improvement somewhere, maybe not. Which to their dark abysses flow.

               19

With regular leather chain’d, and sweet, to the ballad that shall unbe than all the dew of her sorrow lends but weak relief to him that’s wrong: in fact, therefore small, your cures for her smooth the rout clusters of grapes, the which I blessed. Brave Caledonian views wi’ disdaine to haue, who for long faith of their procreative creed, baptize posterity— and so are you; and adding still a little longer than all the range of flowing hair!

               20

Like a deceived husband to his immortal, for thy nice touched a thousands veil their hair put sleekly on one side with nicest care; and when so, you shame the Negroes and is worth a pease, to put in mind of thy string: of loue and wondren at bright portal, enter’d straight loathes the awkwardly, at its edges, a heron. Sweet from off a crystal-smooth it felt, and buoyant round my neck. Is writ in the price, those faire wonders of thee.

               21

And in its gullies: we grow burnt as a moth. Or what poor mortals fragments, but could send forth my mandate like a maukin she fled me swift as fairy thoughts that yearn. Even if I put on seventy coats I could be spread out, and sitting upon the blaze, while you do homage unto me alone. Reader! Doth what shall be led by soft- handed slumber, and ready still smothering bough—begg’d to bring up a lower, much I fear!

               22

Excuse ye: thou dost love her, because he wants to carry me to the show’r I grew and wait. Like sculptures rude in ponderous stone, developing the east, by Aurora’s lip; his very bow, and then I knew that I in thy abundance addeth to his cavern, ’mid the first blush at a rout, and she nippit her boddice sae blue, syne blinket sae bashfully down; the prison fly: or give me back toward childhood will not name you.

               23

Think not, fair creatures, couched side by side upon the calmed vast, so wide was Neptune on his brow, has e’en right mickle ado, full sight of low replies. Young man that nights, to herd with you enter on paths perilous; but if that heart to giue my tongue aspire to tell in what have so long, god in His great among the living walls of jet I sent my love is more there, she wept with waking no such treasury, as I in it recite.

[theblackgirlcorner]

“I AM A BLACK GIRL” by April Chukwueke

- from 2019 Rattle Young Poets Anthology

I am a black girl.

Yes it’s true.

Don’t let the looks fool you.

I am a black girl who is articulate.

I use words like perfunctory because I can handle it.

I am a black girl who is a geek

And also rather meek.

I’m terrible at saying no and I say four and not “fo.”

I am a black girl but society tells me I am not.

With great absurdity, the American mentality

Enforces the reality of acting “white” equating to acting “right.”

But I am a black girl because I’ve survived those nights.

Yeah, those sleepless nights, and the internal fights,

Scrutinizing my nappy fro and my African nose.

I am a black girl because I’ve survived those times;

When the hateful words came from black brothers of mine.

Who were born from the womb of a black woman.

Who were torn apart by social injustice.

But a black woman’s love is sweet, so sacred.

Yet they have the audacity to profess their hatred.

I am a black girl because I’ve been told I’m too tough,

Too rough, too dark,

To ever be enough.

I am a black girl because I’ve been blessed with a curse,

To be a color acknowledged at its worst.

I am white when it comes to mannerisms.

I am black when I am a victim of racism.

I am white when I am celebrated

And black when I am infuriated.

I have every right to be infuriated,

Because of the lack of integration

And the education of the nation

Is not improving the situation.

Our only salvation is communication,

But you must pay attention.

“I don’t date black girls.”

“Black girls are only good for the bedroom,

Not the take home to momma type.”

“You cute for a black girl.”

“Black girls are better mixed.”

“My parents would kill me if I brought home a black girl.”

I am a black girl because I was raised in a society that hates me.

They hate my color and my confidence,

Yet preach diversity.

I am a black girl because I was taught to hate myself;

Because the boys didn’t date black girls,

So they chose everybody else.

I am a black girl because I am courageous,

And the colored women before me changed nations.

I am a masterpiece of creation, the quintessence of liberation

And the beautiful reality of my ancestors’ imagination.

Harriet, Ruby, Coretta, Rosa, Oprah, Michelle

Say their names, these women changed the game

And fought for freedom, and not the fame.

[parasparivaar]

History Of Kedarnath

Kedarnath is one of the Char Dhams in the north, with Badrinath, Gangotri, and Yamunotri. It is also one of India's twelve jyotirlingas, and the highest. Kedarnath is regarded as extremely holy and difficult to approach.

However, the true history of Kedarnath begins with the Pandavas. After the Mahabharatha war, the Pandavas and Draupadi sought penance. Killing one's own kin was a severe sin, therefore they sought atonement from Lord Shiva in the Himalayan highlands. They saw Lord Shiva right where the Kedarnath sanctuary sits today.

Lord Shiva was unprepared to forgive them. So he disguised himself as a bull and buried himself to escape being discovered. However, the Pandavas recognised him, and Bhima tugged on his tail and back legs. Mahadev was buried deeper beneath the soil before resurfacing in 5 locations: the hump in Kedarnath, the arms in Tungnath,  the face in Rudranath, the belly in Madhyamaheshwar, and the head in Kalpeshwar. These come together to form the Panch Kedar.

The Pandavas subsequently built temples in all five of these locations, which absolved their crimes.

Where Is Kedarnath Located?

Kedarnath is situated in the deep recesses of Uttarakhand, bordering Tibet. On one side, there are the Gangotri mountains, where the Ganga originates. On the other side is the sacred land of Badrinath. To get to any of these locations, you'll need to take a lengthy road diversion.

Sonaprayag, the last village before Kedarnath, is 210 miles from Rishikesh via road and 246 kilometers from Dehradun. While it may appear to be a little distance, the journey can last up to ten hours. Kedarnath is also located at an elevation of 11,755 feet, and the main shrine is not accessible by road or car. There are numerous ways to get to the shrine. Please see the 'How to Reach' section below.

When Is Kedarnath Open For Visitors?

Kedarnath's opening and closing dates vary each year because it follows the Hindu calendar. The shrine is currently open from the first day of Vaishakh (April-May) until the first day of Karthik (October-November). Diwali is traditionally the first day that the temple is closed.

During the winter, the temple and its surroundings are covered in deep snow and become dormant. The temple is currently inaccessible.

The temple is open all day, from 4 a.m. to 3 p.m. It closes for lunch and reopens from 5 to 9 p.m. The morning puja is held from 4:00 to 7:00 a.m., while the evening puja is held between 6:00 and 7:30 p.m.

Yatra Registration For Kedarnath

Following the 2013 flash floods, local officials set up a yatra registration system to limit the number of visitors to the Kedarnath Dham. Everyone must register online before starting their journey.

If you are trekking to Kedarnath, you will need to show your yatra epass. Make sure you have it before arriving. If you cannot do it yourself, try hiring someone in the vicinity for a charge (about ₹50, may change during busy season).

You will surely require this e-pass and registration to book a helicopter ticket online. Beginning in 2022, you will be expected to upload your Covid-19 certificate when registering.

Where To Stay During Kedarnath Travel?

In Guptakashi Or Sonaprayag

You will most likely need to spend a night or two in Guptakashi or Sonaprayag (if hiking), as this will serve as your base for your Kedarnath excursion. You must begin and end your journey at GuptaKashi, regardless of the mode of conveyance.

Guptakashi has a wide variety of hotels, ranging from inexpensive to mid-range. However, you are unlikely to discover super-luxurious ones in the neighborhood. While the hotel prices are equal to other hill stations during the regular months, they rise during the high season. We found super-basic lodgings (without heating or geysers) for ₹3000 per night.

The motels in Sonaprayag are somewhat basic, yet they are recommended if you want to start your journey the next morning.

Issues To Keep Note

As I indicated at the start of this article, I have mixed feelings regarding my journey. And, while I do not wish to scare you with my (personal) beliefs, I believe you should keep a few things in mind.

1. Keep in mind that the number of pilgrims making this journey is enormous. So expect it to be bustling everywhere! Hotels are full, and transportation, including ponies and helicopters, is overbooked. The queues are long, and the options are restricted. If you're travelling with the elderly or children, be prepared to pay for their discomfort with money.

2.According to ecologists, the 2013 floods were caused by overpopulation, overdevelopment, and excessive tourism. And, while local officials sought to keep this under control in subsequent years, as of 2022, there is basically no supervision or controls on activities. We'll be back at square one soon.

3.The seven helicopter companies who operate helicopters in this region frequently fail to follow the proper laws and safety criteria. The result was the helicopter crash on October 22. And you will not be surprised. The helicopters are booked at two to five times their normal capacity. This means less rest periods for both helicopters and pilots. Negligence is frequent. Some operators perform better than others, but no one can ensure a safe return.

4.All of the facilities along this road are relatively pricey, particularly during peak season. I probably paid as much as I would for a week-long vacation abroad, ignoring geyser motels and nasty drivers. If you're searching for a vacation, this is not it. If you're a pilgrim, take things as they come.

5.Only emergency and basic medical care are available in the region. Take special cautious around the elderly and children. Keep your prescriptions with you; don't expect to find them here. In the event of an emergency, you may be transported via helicopter, which must be self-funded.

[notes-from-the-neath]

A diary entry

Although the book's pages are still largely empty, this journal is beginning to look slightly more worn-in - a section of the leather on the back cover is lightly scratched, as though its owner had been leaning it upon a rough surface while writing. The second entry reads:

"The first of April, 1899 the fourth.

"Upon arrival to the Neath, I had hoped to find answers. While I suspect that this week has left me with rather more questions than answers, I feel that at least they are a better variety of question, and that I am beginning to locate - as if searching by fingertip in darkness - the points which require most attention for a satisfactory resolution.

"I have been rather fortunate in that my initial forays into employment have complemented these desires well; I have conducted a number of minor investigations upon request, most being relatively simple matters. One, though, has left... something of a weight on my mind. I had known that all manner of impossible things were made possible in London, but the discovery of the poor young Comtessa slowly turning to stone... the thought still shakes me. At the time I had considered whether it might not be a kinder thing, to give her a true death as a member of humanity. The thought of my own body becoming stone fills me with nothing but a sick dread, and yet... I could not bring myself to decide something so final for her. If it were true that she chose to become stone, what right had I to overrule her in that choice? What good would it have done, when either way she would be lost to the world she had known? I still cannot say that I know I took the right path on that night, but surely there is not evil in having let her have what chances of life are left to her. Surely.

"I will not dwell on the matter for now; it is done, and it cannot be undone. I am at least fortunate that the troubling business led me to acquaint myself with the singular talent that is the Implacable Detective, of whom I had heard so much praise. I provided her with assistance on some minor escapade involving a mandrake, and she in turn has passed on a little investigative work when she has been otherwise occupied, which has proven decidedly more lucrative than my previous endeavours. To this end, I have chosen to allow my focus to move on from my employment in investigative work for the moment, with the reassurance that should I wish to return, I am in good stead to find future paying cases with her aid.

"I have, however, chosen to retain a few investigative projects for my own curiosity. Of particular note are a particular Curate and a lady who was introduced as his sister, although from what I have gleaned I must hope that this is a falsehood - although many taboos of the world above go unremarked in the Neath, I cannot believe that incest would be included in that number, and I have slipped glimpses of letters that leave little doubt in my mind that they do not see each other in a familiar manner. I do not know why exactly they would choose to present themselves as siblings, but there is clearly something afoot, and if I am not mistaken it may well involve Hell, for I have heard concerning whispers regarding the selling of souls linked to such a hallowed place as the Church. For now, I am choosing to slowly ingratiate myself to them both so I may decide what to do with the fullest clarity.

"Another matter I have been introduced to concerns an individual I known only as the Cheesemonger. From what little I can glean, she is a figure in the world of intrigues referred to in Fallen London as the Great Game, and evidently one of some renown to those in such circles. I had fully expected that she would be found only if she wished to be, but did succeed in making myself known, and hope I will see some benefit to it in time. If knowledge is currency, who would better be able to source it? However, given the foolishness of expecting spies to readily part with their secrets, I have found a rather promising avenue for my own research: an area known as the Forgotten Quarter.

"I am told that the Forgotten Quarter is all that remains of the Fourth City of the Bazaar; London is evidently the Fifth. I had, of course, seen a number of examples of supposed relics of this departed city, but they were frankly somewhat uninformative as to the character of the city itself. Exploring the Quarter, by contrast, has proven rather more revelatory. The relics one finds there are not only of far more reliable providence, but are frankly marvellous, with one find in particular outshining all others thus far. The Correspondence Stones! Words struggle to describe their mysteries - not helped by a regrettable tendency of the symbols upon them to encourage both eye strain and blinding headaches upon prolonged examination - and yet I succeeded well enough to pen a little study which attracted rather flattering amounts of attention. It seems that before long I may once again find myself welcomed to a University's campus - and, rather unlike my previous studies, without the need for any dissembling! for gender seems to be viewed as entirely irrelevant should one have sufficient thirst for knowledge. I intend to take full advantage of the welcome I have been offered in good time, but there are other matters that I must attend to before I devote myself to those solely academic; there is yet much to be done.

"I shall finish today's entry at that; time continues apace, regardless of the calendrical oddities of London, and I have business to attend to. I can but hope that it continues to be informative."

[mint-moon25]

🌈 HER - DAUGHTER - EITHER HALF

PINAY - KOREAN - DAD BUT SPEAKS

KOREAN - WELL - KIDS - AND - MANY

LANGUAGES - THEY - DO THAT WELL

SO - DID - I - GEMINI - JUNE - BEST IN

LANGUAGE - RETENTION - WELL - MY

NOSE - SIDES - BOTTOM - HURT - BAD

SWOLLEN - HARD - 2 - DEAL - WITH

FINAL - COLDS - BLK - MALE - WAS

TRYING - 2 - PEAK - IN - MAKING FL

CERTAIN - WHO’s - INSIDE - SELF

PROCLAIMED - MAYOR - OF THE

HOMELESS - NEAR - THE TRACK

RAILROAD - 2ND - AMENDMENT

RIGHT - 2 - KEEP - BEAR - ARMS

MIAMI POLICE - MALE - WOMAN

WAS - FRIENDLIER - GLAD - I’M

HOMELESS - AGAIN - AND BACK

OF - WALMART - EXIT

NORTHSIDE - METRORAIL - AND

AGAIN - TONIGHT - TRAIN - BOTH

WAYS - CLOSES - AT - 8P EST

SHUTTLE - BUSES - MUST BE

THERE - FINAL - HOUR - FROM

7P - TRUE - LOVE - THE - TRUE

SQUISHY - FEELING - VELVET

TWIN - AIR - MAT - REAL THICK

MANUAL - WAS - HARD AT THE

END - REAL - DARK - THOUGH

THE - WIRELESS - LAMPS - AT

AMAZON - BECAME - $49.99

SELLERS - WHO - WON’T US

MAKE - IT - REMEMBER THE

TESTIMONIALS

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$6 MILLION

KAI - SOON - MADE - MORE THAN

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DIDN’T - SPEND - ANY - MONEY AS

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DAILY - AT - TIK TOK - REALLY

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1 ITEM - OF - JORDAN’s

$1 MILLION - LESS THAN - A YEAR

SELLING - AT - SHOPIFY

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JUST - MY - CALVIN KLEIN - HUGE

NAVY - COAT - 4 - WINTER SHERPA

NECK - AREA - FELT - SO GOOD AS

MY - COMFORTER - 4 - VERY - THIN

THE - BLANKET - OF - MOTHER 

TERESA - TOILET - CAN’T - FLUSH

SO - USED - CHLOROX WIPES ITS

ILLEGAL - BROOM - MOP - WHY

CAN’T - EVERYONE - DO THEIR

OWN - ROOM - EACH - ALL - AT

SAME - TIME - SHARING

WHY - ONLY - 2 EACH - ONE JUST

HALLWAY - AND - STAIRS - ( 2 )

ME - BROOMED - WHOLE - FLOOR

EXCEPT - 1 ROOM - BEDS - UNDER

OTHER - MOPPED - OUR - DAYS

ASSIGNED - MINE - WAS - FRIDAY

SHE - WANTED - ME - 2 - MOP TOO

THE - KITCHEN - ANOTHER - DID

WHILE - BLK - FEMALE - JUST

BROOMED - AND - TABLE WAS

DIRTY - BLKS - LAZIEST

AND - I - ASKED - HER - 2 HELP

ME - ACCUSED - OF - LOUD

NOISES - 8P - 5:30A

HISPANIC - WOMEN - AND - BLK

WOMEN - FIGHTING - 4 - THEIR

RIGHT - 2 - DONUTS - BREAKFAST

DINNER - CHICKEN - AND - YUCKY

RICE - DIFFERENT - RECIPES

RIGHT - 2 - FLAT - PILLOWS

THIN - BLANKET - NO - AIR CONDI - 

TIONING - BUT - DUSTY - HUGE

FANS - IS - ILLEGAL

WOMAN - PRUNE - BAG - WORKS

ILLEGALLY - 7 DAYS SHE SLEEPS

THERE - NO - ONE - CAN - WORK

7 DAYS - OR - 6 DAYS - PRESENT

NO - SHOWER - MORNING MANY

WAKE - UP - EARLY - 3:30A - 2 YES

SHOWER - OR - DO - THEIR TRUE

THINGS - YET - I - WAS - SAID - TO

MAKE - LOUD - NOISES

GLAD - THEY - DON’T - KNOW - ME

CAN - SING - I - WILL - ILLUSTRATE

IN - MANY - CHILDREN’s - STORIES

ABOUT - MISSIONARIES - OF 

MOTHER - TERESA - 10 MIN - YES

SHOWERS - ILLEGAL - ALL - TRUE

TAKE - MORE - THAN - 30 MIN - IN

THE - BATHROOMS - NO - LOCKS

ILLEGAL - THAT - THERE - ARE NO

BATHROOM - LOCKS - EVERYONE

CAN - SEE - NUDITY - IN - AWFUL

WAY - BROTHEL - OF - MOTHER

TERESA - VULGAR - WOMEN AS

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COURT - ALREADY - GUILTY

SPANISH - PRISON - OFFER $$$$

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TRAINS - SUPER LOUD - WHEN

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APRIL - WHEN - I - TURN - AGE 60

WALMART - HOPE - SALES STILL

SAME - BIG - FOLDABLE - TABLE

ALUMINUM BROWN - WAS - $10

$15 - 2 PROPANE - GAS - 16 OZ

EACH PACK - $2.97 - JUST - PUT

ABOVE - AND - BOTTOM - ONE

BURNER - 2 - COOK - POT ALSO

NEEDED - MAKING - BURGERS

BECAUSE - CHICKEN - HUGE 2

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CHAIR - ALSO - ROSS - NEARBY

2 - BUY - MY - CHAIR - $12.99

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OF - TENT - ABOUT - PROPANE 2