#Its a huge pay cut

[freebooter4ever]

I love all the amazing jokes happening around the writers fundraising for the str*ke :D further proof that its the creativity people want - the human beings behind the ideas. The execs are just the increasingly extraneous evil.

[musubiki]

lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection

[curioscurio]

Yooooo you worked at Michaels too?

(Ex-Framing department employee here)

YEA LETS GO EX-FRAMING DEPARTMENT they never even got around to teaching me production it was all wrapping and taking orders :/ Idk how it is at other shops but we only had 3 people working the whole frame shop. One person did ALL the frame assembly and us other two handled everything else. Was absolutely not worth $11/hr. man fuck retail. FUCK Design Hub too, if I may

[vampireghoul]

Explaining my hare brained schemes as to why I work so much and what I’m doing every day makes me sound like an actual psycho

[youngpettyqueen]

went to Costco with my mom today mainly to test if my new earplugs would make Costco a tolerable experience and while she was paying I was vibing just waiting and I saw this old woman full on glaring at me looking like she just sucked on a lemon and we made eye contact and she visibly shook her fucking head at me in obvious disgust

for some context im VERY obviously queer im covered in tattoos and im wearing a Queen crop top and shorts with my very hair armpits, belly, and legs out on full display right

anyways I responded by giving her a lil smirk and blowing a kiss at her and she looked so fucking angry I thought she was gonna shit her pants right then and there

[sweetmoonbeam17]

,

[lomakes]

Maybe instead of an Etsy I'll just pay for bigcartel premium for a limited time so I can list all my stuff without restrictions and then go back to the free version/close the shop once everything is sold🤔

[kitten-of-the-universe]

my last day of work at my hell job and I just got an offer for a job I interviewed for 2 weeks ago! peace and love on planet cecelia

[the-kipsabian]

i ordered food home for the first time in months and now i feel bad about it while its in delivery

[pastelsugar6w6]

I have been having

a month

[pedriscroquettes]

𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 ✮ KENAN YILDIZ

summary. your morals are nonexistent when a certain brunette comes into your life.

warnings. cheating, cocky!kenan, and smut 18+

gabri speaks! pookie looked so good in tns match 😋 was listening to suano by ntg while writing.

the city lights were a blur as the car sped by in the late hours of the night. unlike your driver you were unfamiliar with the host country. kenan had spent countless days in dortmund for competitions and various matches — meaning he knew all the best spots — he was keen on impressing you. your hair can’t help but get in your face every couple of minutes do to the windows being down. you don’t mind tho, you never do, not with him.

a mix of rap and r&b plays through the car as he drives you back to your hotel. you hardly pay attention to the music as the brunette tells you about his training session from the morning. he sounds so excited about being able to play in such a huge stage for his country and you can’t help but smile at his excitement.

that intimate moment was cut short when you felt his hand on your thigh — your short dress allowing him the perfect opportunity to tease you — and you let him. it had been a while since the two of you had done anything due to his busy schedule and your studies. you gladly accepted his advances and opened your legs to allow him better access to where you needed him the most. his hand slowly makes its way up your leg and the closer he gets to your core, the hotter you feel. you grip the door handle as he finally moves your panties to the side and exposes you to the cold.

you feel yourself grow wetter as his fingers get closer to your cunt. your head hits the back of the seat as he moves his fingers along your folds, spreading your wetness, provoking a moan from you. he teases you circling his finger around your clit. illicit and provocative noises leave your mouth as he pleases you. you wondered how he was able to keep his eyes on the road as his fingers were exploring you.

it all felt good but you desperately needed him inside you. you didn’t hesitate as you placed your hand on top of his dragging his finger down to your entrance in the process. he knew what you needed and soon enough he was stretching you causing your legs to close on his hand at the sudden intrusion.

“kenan…” you gasped as he started fingering you.

your grasp on his hand grew stronger as he inserted his finger so deep inside you stretching you out. it was already too much with you clenching around him as he pumped into you. you resisted the urge to thrust against his hand as he continued his slow movements inside of you. your breathing became rigid as you felt him move sending heat throughout your body. you couldn’t even hear the music anymore, your gasps and moans filling the car instead. you could feel his smirk as you lost all your morals beside him.

“more?” he asked you as he drove.

“mhm.” you whined as you felt the familiar warmth of your undoing approaching.

you stayed still as he entered a second finger inside of you, your legs trying to close on your hands at the feeling. you lifted your hips towards his fingers trying desperately to reach your release. it was a sigh for sore eyes seeing you in such a state. kenan wonders how he got so lucky, how he got the privilege to touch you, and how he managed to have your attention for so long. finally, when he curls his fingers it’s when you come undone and reach your peak.

as if on cue the two of you finally arrive to your hotel. as you recover from your high kenan gets out of the car and heads to your side. always the gentleman, he was. he helps you out of the car and the two of you stand outside the hotel entrance. the two of you can’t help but laugh at what just happened. sometimes you forget he used to be your best friend before all of this.

“i need to leave or else coach will bench me opening match.” he interrupts. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

his brown eyes bore into yours. they’re so full of kindness and joy. you’re always vulnerable to them.

“yeah.” you respond shyly.

he just nods in acknowledgment and he’s on his way back to the car but stops himself. he hesitates this time but nevertheless he kisses you. it’s quick and just a peck but it’s a kiss. one that holds hidden emotions. he gets into his car but doesn’t leave until you’re inside the hotel. and to your surprise you find one of his jerseys on your bed with an upgraded ticket for tomorrow’s match. he had gifted you a ticket in one of the suites. then you notice the note.

see you tomorrow? – love, kenan

the following night kenan begs you to make him feel better about his disallowed goal and you can’t help but help him. kenan can’t help but be turned on by the jersey you’re wearing, his jersey. it finally feels good to know that he’s yours. you’re too lost in the pleasure of him filling you up you don’t notice the countless messages blowing up your phone.

why’d i just see you on screen?

why are you in germany?

babe, why are you wearing a turkish jersey who do you know from turkey?

oh.

are you fucking serious? why has that idiot just announced the two of you are dating. what the fuck?

[reasonsforhope]

"Abby Allen has no problem with her neighbours peering over her luxuriant hedges to see what she is up to on her farm.

For years she has been carrying out ad hoc experiments with wildlife and farming techniques; in her lush Devon fields native cattle graze alongside 400-year-old hedgerows, with birds and butterflies enjoying the species-rich pasture.

Under the environmental land management scheme (ELMS), introduced by the government in 2021, those experiments were finally being funded. “We have a neighbour who has always been more of an intensive farmer,” she says, but he is now considering leaving fields unploughed to help the soil. “It genuinely is having such a huge impact in changing people’s mindsets who traditionally would never have thought about farming in this way.”

The new nature payments scheme followed the UK’s exit from the EU, when the government decided to scrap the common agricultural payments scheme, which gave a flat subsidy dependent on the number of acres a farmer managed. In its place came ELMS, which pays farmers for things such as planting hedges, sowing wildflowers for birds to feed on and leaving corners of their land wild for nature.

But these schemes are now at threat of defunding, as the Labour government has refused to commit to the £2.4bn a year spending pot put in place by the previous Conservative government. With spending tight and the chancellor, Rachel Reeves, cutting back on infrastructure and hinting at tax rises, a cut to the ELMS scheme may be on her list.

However, government data released last week found the schemes were working to tentatively bring nature back to England’s farmland. Butterflies, bees and bats are among the wildlife being boosted by ELMS, with birds among the chief beneficiaries, particularly ones that largely feed on invertebrates. An average of 25% more breeding birds were found in areas utilising the eco-friendly schemes.

...there are also farmers who welcome the schemes. Allen says the ELMS has helped her farm provide data and funds to expand and improve the good things they were doing for nature. “Some of the money available around things like soil testing and monitoring – instead of us going ‘we think these are the right things to do and providing these benefits,’ we can now measure it. The exciting thing now is there is money available to measure and monitor and kind of prove that you’re doing the right things. And so then you can find appropriate funding to do more of that.”

Allen, who is in the Nature Friendly Farming Network, manages a network of farms in England, most of which are using the ELMS. This includes chicken farms where the poultry spend their life outside rather than in sheds and other regenerative livestock businesses...

Mark Spencer was an environment minister until 2024 when he lost his seat, but now spends more time in the fields admiring the fruits of his and his family’s labour. He says that a few years of nature-friendly agriculture has restored lapwings and owls.

“On the farm, I haven’t seen lapwings in any number for what feels like a whole generation. You know, as a kid, when I was in my early teens, you’d see lapwings. We used to call them peewits. We’d see them all the time, and they sort of disappeared.

“But then, me and my neighbours changed the way we did cropping, left space in the fields for them to nest, and suddenly they returned. You need to have a piece of land where you’re not having mechanical machinery go over it on a regular basis, because otherwise you destroy the nest. We’ve also got baby owls in our owl box now for the first time in 15 years. They look mega, to be honest, these little owls, little balls of fluff. It is rewarding.”"

-via The Guardian, August 23, 2024

[frogchiro]

Here is an idea but a feral Minotaur König to juxtapose Gladiator Ghost.

Minotaur König belongs to @kneelingshadowsalome so if you want more of it please go check her blog out!! She's so talented and pays so much attention to details, I'm in love ;;

But! I imagine Minotaur! König to be something more like a spectacle, something to be presented and paraded around like the most prized bull for the peasants to gawk at. And he hates it. Despises it. He's been captured and enslaved like some animal and shown off as if he's more of a possession than actual living, breathing, sentient being.

He wouldn't be even let into the Coliseum in fear of someone actually besting the 'beast' and what would that mean for those soft, spineless men in fancy clothes who make a fortune out of him as he's paraded naked all over the Coliseum, his tail lashing behind him and his ears twitching from the noise. Shut up shut up shut up shut-

Suddenly the entourage made out of guards is stopped in front of a luxury balcony where apparently the most fancy people sit and-

Imagine Minotaur!König being given to you as a gift for the fairest Lady (Y/N), the esteemed Lady-In-Waiting of Lady Jokaste, sister of the Emperor. This wonderous beast was bought by her and given to you on your 21st birthday, the most rare of gifts and 'the rarity only fitting for a rare beauty like you', sung Lady Jokaste as she gazed at you with fondness while you literally couldn't utter a single word.

Imagine that although technically König is your possession in all means, you still treat him so so gently and carefully, putting healing ointment on his scars and new cuts instead of perfumed oils which irritated his wounds and skin further. You massage his strained muscles gently and shush him whenever he starts making loud, booming noises, probably of pain leaving his body.

And you're so skittish too, adorable. Like a pretty young doe you flinch at the slightest movement the bull makes, the jingle of the thin chain attached to a joke of a collar makes you jump and flush at the deep chuckle of the beast but König is delighted that he can make this pretty nymph jump and twitch, however he'd rather like you twitch on his large cock...

Speaking of which, yeah he hates wearing that pesky loincloth even if its silk, so most of the days he just forgoes it and walks around naked in all his glory. His huge, fat cock often twitching and leaking thick sperm whenever he catches your scent which is everywhere in your chambers or even better if he catches you when you're sitting around and lounging or preparing for a bath and you catch his heavy, lustful gaze :((

He chuckles, rumbles and chuffs at you from his place on the comfy bed of pillows and furs, laid out all bug and spread, his heavy, veiny cock spurting out so much cum it stains the pretty soft pillows and his full balls are so huge and so heavy, they are starting to ache y'know? :((

Why don't you come here pretty little nymph? All he wants to do is thank you for your kindness by tickling you with his long tongue and giving you his calf, wouldn't it be perfect? </3

[certified-bi]

Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.

1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...

2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.

Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.

3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.

4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.

5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.

Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Leaving III

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: You've made a mistake

Poland was meant to be perfect and, for the most part, it was.

You got to learn a new language, get a girlfriend and train with some of the best in your sport.

But, you had always been like your sister.

You were Alexia's mirror in some of the worst ways.

She had a temper when she was younger. She was stubborn and frustrated and hated losing. You'd seen her yell at teammates when she was younger about missed tap-ins and shitty crosses.

Tennis is not a team sport but you can feel the same frustration bubble up within you as you're once again outclassed by your training partner.

She's ranked first in the world, of course she's better than you but you're still a wonderkid (Spain's prodigy, you can hear echoing in the back of your mind) and usually, you can hold your own better than this.

You're not running fast enough. You're not swinging hard enough. You're missing easy volleys and your serve is abysmal.

You want to go home.

You want to go back to Spain, back to Mollet de Vallès where you're leagues ahead of the competition.

You sniffle a little, curling up on your bed with your phone stuck to your ear.

There isn't a time difference from Spain to Poland so you know she won't be sleeping. You also know she won't ignore your call.

Alexia loves you too much for that.

"Are you okay?"

You don't call regularly. You're not much of a texter either. That was okay when you were still at home, where Alexia could drop in unannounced whenever and find you either on the courts or curled up in your bed with a movie playing.

You both have gotten used to the long stretches of time you spend away from each other.

But Alexia asks the exact same thing every time you're on a call.

It's only this time though that you feel a sob force its way up your throat.

"No," You choke out," No. I want to come home."

From across the world, curled up in her own bed, in her own home, next to her own girlfriend, Alexia's heart breaks.

She wants you home too.

When you were little, Alexia could pick you up out of your bed and just put you in hers. She could do it whenever she felt like it, for any reason she wanted.

If she wanted little sister cuddles or if she missed you or for something as simple as freaking out Alba in the morning when she was sent to get you up.

As you got older and Alexia moved away for football, she no longer dragged you out of bed but rather just slid into yours. You used to pretend that you hated it.

You would groan and complain and say she was stealing your blankets but you never kicked her out, even when she did annoying things like poke you in the cheek or dig her fingers into your side.

"I want you to come home too," Alexia says back to you and you sag in relief onto your bed.

"This was a mistake," You continue," Ale, I've made a huge mistake. I...I'm not cut out for this. I can't do this."

Alexia wants you at home. She wants you at home in your room in Eli's house where she knows your routine and your patterns and could probably track you down in half an hour.

In Spain, Alexia knows everything about you.

She knows your favourite restaurants and which tennis courts you prefer on sunny versus rainy days. She knows your friends and their families and that old couple just down the way whose dog you sometimes walk when you want a break from homework.

Alexia likes you in Spain, where she can drop everything to give you a hug and look after you and pull the sides of her jacket around you even as you try to wiggle out of whatever hug she's trapped you in.

But you've not made a mistake going to Poland, no matter what you think.

Nothing you've done in Poland is something you should regret.

You're getting the challenge you need to be a better player.

Sports are expensive and it has always been hard on Eli to keep up with everything you need even though Alexia has always been willing to pay for it all.

You were the best in Mollet del Vallès because the talent pool was so low.

It's good for you to learn from others, from other international stars that are legendary in your sport.

Alexia can admit that there's probably a few things you regret in life. But this shouldn't be one of them.

"You can," She says to you," Because you're a Putellas and we're not quitters."

"I am," You reply," I don't mind being a quitter."

Alexia sighs. You've always been stubborn.

"You're not a quitter," She insists," Because you love tennis and you're talented at it. You've got to stumble a little bit to get better."

"I don't want to stumble," You say," Ale, I don't. I'm not cut out for this."

"You are," Alexia says," I promise you are. You are going to be the greatest tennis player in the world someday, I know it. You're going to win the Ballon D'or of tennis one day."

That shocks a laugh out of you. "Alexia," You say," There's no Ballon D'or for tennis."

"Well if there were, you'd win it," She says decisively," But you've got to keep trying, alright? Keep going. Hold out for this month, okay? Get through this month and if you still hate it and if you still think it was one big mistake then I'll talk to Mama and we'll bring you home. But you have to try, alright? You have to really put in effort. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Alexia."

"Good."

Like usual, there's radio silence from you for a good few weeks but Alexia expected that.

She's on camp near the end of the month and doesn't really think about the deadline she's set for you. It's not like there was any actual risk that you were going to quit tennis.

You needed it like Alexia needed football.

"Uh oh," Jenni laughs under her breath as the team walk back into the hotel lobby," Here comes trouble."

You're sitting at reception, scrolling on your phone with a bag at your feet and Alexia's heart sink.

No.

There's no way you've quit tennis.

You love it.

"Well, well, well." Jenni's unaware of the crisis Alexia's currently facing, ruffling your hair before you even know she's there. "Look at you. Still tiny."

"I was never tiny!" You say, cheeks puffed out in outrage," You're just freakishly tall!"

Jenni laughs, reaching to ruffle your hair again. You duck out of the way and scamper behind Alexia, offering her up as Jenni's next victim.

Alexia frowns though. "Why are you here?"

Worry courses through her veins.

There's no way you could have quit tennis. There's no way that you've managed to do that without telling her first.

"Mama is on that cruise with Tia and Tio. Alba is out of the country." You huff. "Mama says that I must be with a responsible adult during my break. She sent me to you. Are you not happy to see me, Ale?"

"I'm happy to see you, Menor!" Jenni calls out.

"Stop calling me that!"

Finally, Alexia's brain catches up with your words. "During your break?"

You nod. "Uh-huh. I've got two weeks off for rest and recuperation and then we're on warm-ups for the next tournament."

"Warm-ups in Poland?" Alexia checks and your brow furrows in confusion.

"Of course in Poland. Where else would I be?"

Alexia takes your hand. "Nowhere."

She drags you up into her room. As one of the captains, she's entitled to having it all to herself. She doesn't even stop to think how she's going to explain this to the staff, just happy to have you all to herself again like she did when she was younger.

You fit into her bed like you did when you were younger too, namely by dragging almost all of her pillows to your side and hogging the blankets.

It's easy to curl around each other now, even though you've grown up and can't fit in Alexia's arms anymore.

It's easy to talk too, as you explain all the new things you've been learning and how excited you are for your next tournament.

It's even easier to fall asleep together, your head pillowed on Alexia's chest (even though you made such a point over stealing all of her actual pillows) and Alexia's hand frozen in the act of getting the knots out of your hair.

It's even worth Jenni and Irene's teasing in the morning when they both burst in to find you both still in the same position.

[sunderwight]

SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a dragon.

It's not so bad, at first. He's an extremely magical sort of dragon so he can easily take on a humanoid shape, and he has dominion over an entire mountain, with a magical gate that leads to his palace. Said palace has a fully stocked treasury, a library, garden, etc, with the only real downsides being that the place is kind of huge and very difficult for a neet with limited housekeeping or landscaping skills to keep up with. The original dragon had enslaved a bunch of fairy spirits to do it for him, but since Shen Yuan has moral objections to that, he'd let them all go and they'd run off before he could even think to offer to hire any of them as paid employees instead. Not that he can blame them for being in a hurry to get gone.

He does his best, and generally enjoys being a dragon lazing on his mountain, or wandering the beauty of his palace and investigating the books and scrolls kept there. He doesn't actually seem to need to eat or drink, so that's not really an issue, and nobody looks keen to bother him. But after a few months the dust starts to really pile up, and trying to figure out how to do his own laundry without modern equipment leads to several disasters, and even though he doesn't need to eat he's starting to think it would be quite nice to have a fancy sit-down dinner and enjoy it for its own sake anyway. He has an enchanted larder but his food prep skills aren't up to much.

So, Shen Yuan ventures away from his mountain. He keeps to his human disguise when he's not traveling, and at first tries to hire on some help from a nearby city. But when he explains that he lives on the mountain, he realizes the difficulty, because everyone in the area knows that only the dragon lives there. So they all think he's either a liar or a fraud, or some servant of a nefarious supernatural creature angling to trick and possibly devour them.

Shen Yuan tries approaching another town in his dragon form, to see if anyone will actually deal with him if he's being upfront and honest about the situation, but the townspeople just panic. He returns to his mountain to rethink his strategies, and in the meanwhile the alarmed locals hire a swordsman to go after him. The guy gives him a few very painful cuts before Shen Yuan mostly-accidentally sends him careening into a boulder. One broken arm later the swordsman is gently persuaded that the pay he was offered isn't worth the effort on this job, and leaves.

Discouraged, Shen Yuan decides he's gonna give this one last try. He picks the second closest city, flies up, and is like yes hello, yes I am indeed a dragon, no I'm not trying to burn down your walls, yes it would be excellent if you stopped shooting arrows at me, look they don't even get past the scales? It's kind of silly? Okay, yes, thank you very much. Good. Now, the thing is, I'm looking for some people. I want to take them back to my mountain with me, to my incredibly nice palace, and -- what was that? A princess? No no I don't want a princess, what would I even do with one? If anything I'm looking for the complete opposite of a princess!

Anyway, the locals take this to mean that the dragon is demanding a sacrifice in the form of a pretty boy of no particular pedigree, and Shen Yuan takes this to mean that he's finally made his case clear and they're going to dig up someone who is willing to overlook his being a dragon in exchange for free room and board and fair wages out of his massive treasury.

SY's a bit disheartened when the entire city could only apparently turn up one such person -- an underfed teenage boy who looks at Shen Yuan like, despite the situation, he is still expecting to be eaten at any moment. Poor thing! But at least having one servant means he can potentially get more, especially if it all goes well. The lad can tell others that working for a dragon isn't so bad! Well, provided that he doesn't give up in alarm at the state of the mountain palace.

For his part, Luo Binghe at first thinks he's definitely going to get eaten, and then that this dragon is weirdly nice about planning to eat him, and then that maybe the dragon has other (even less savory!) plans for him, until finally he sees the state of the dragon's laundry and the foot-thick layer of dust in the corners, and gets completely distracted. Mortal terror forgotten, those floors should not be that filthy, Lord Dragon respectfully that isn't how anyone should prepare rice either, but oh Binghe has never seen a kitchen so nice before in his life...!

Anyway, needless to say, it works out just fine.