#It's not like I'm experiencing living away from home or like sounds for the first time or something

[iamfuckingsorry]

I've slept for like maybe 4 hours a night on average since Wednesday last week and I am /so/ fucking over it. I got like 7 hours last night because I stupidly agreed to go on a trip and got home very late, but man that's not anywhere close to enough. I've spent the entire day tired af today, was /so/ tired and ready to fall asleep when I got home from work, but decided I was gonna wait till at least like 8 pm because I didn't wanna wake up at 2 in the morning unable to fall back asleep. Then it got to like 7 pm and my roomies all started hanging out in the kitchen, and the new guy has never heard of the term inside voice, and the washer was running and they were playing cards and it was. I spent two hours in bed with the lights off trying to fall asleep but I only managed to listen to a convo about how it's important to eat meat and protein and how bad carbs are for you (my new roomie is a gymbro)...

Now all my roomies are quiet but my upstairs neighbour it watching TV so loud I can hear every single word, and there's fireworks going off somewhere as fucking always, and I'm too upset to be able to fall asleep anyway. And I have to bite my fucking lip when crying to stop myself from making any sounds, because then everyone in this flat and every single one of my neighbours would hear me. And I can't even sleep in on weekends or anything, I literally get woken up by my flatmates being loud anyway.

And I dunno, I know I might just need to get over myself, but I'm just so fucking tired, and so fucking upset that I can't even choose /when I want to go to sleep in my own fucking home/, and I'll be stuck living like this for the next 6 months, and I know it's not /that/ bad, but also maybe it is that bad, and either way I don't wanna do it, but I fucking have to because I'm already paying some 65% of my current income for rent (with 4 flatmates! I honestly should have just paid a bit more for a tiny shitty studio) and I can't afford to break the lease. Like even if I move back home tomorrow I'm still stuck paying my fucking lease.

I know this is extremely minor compared to problems some of y'all are having, but man, I am *so* upset by this. Like I cannot spend 8 hours a day sitting in a loud af open space office, commuting 2-3 hours a day because the buses are so fucking unreliable, then come home and be surrounded by more noise and not even be able to do normal things when I want to. Like even getting 7-8h of sleep somewhat consistently is not /great/ for me, I'm a 9 hours a night kind of person, and this will absolutely ruin me if I have to do this for 6 months. And it's for a shitty fucking job that I thought sounded interesting but that's been extremely meh so far and doesn't even pay minimum wage because of some weird legal loophole.

Legit considering ways to get evicted.

[lundenloves]

fatherhood II

*Standing on a soap box, pointing at every one of you.* I will not be responsible for the tears passed in this piece of written emotional catastrophe. It simply had to be done. Simon meeting his daughter for the first time. It's canon. Leave me alone! *Runs away*

↳ no warnings | f!reader | 1.2k

part one | dad!simon masterlist

i may as well be running from lions at this rate, i cannot believe this. yes i can. no one talk to me or ask me the colour of anything for at least twelve days. sigh.

Having a baby sleeping on his chest was not on Simon Riley’s bingo cards for this year. His own baby at that.

Ironically, it was like learning to walk all over again. Having a little person who was completely dependent on you was something he couldn’t fathom at all until the time came. And boy, did it come, straight to the deep end he was.

It started when he was stood on the doorstep to his own home, two days late, taking deep breaths and roughing his hair in attempts to alleviate the bubbling anxiety. He was mentally beating himself up for the fucking career he’d chosen, and the hardships that came with time. Time he wouldn’t get back.

“Fuck sake, Simon.” Came a mutter to himself, slapping one hand of motivation to his cheek before reaching to turn the handle. Baby cries were audible from outside, his jaw tightening at the sound. He hadn’t been home in two weeks. Many an argument had passed to get time off although it just simply wasn’t an option. Forcing his wife to give birth alone bar her family. Christ.

He stepped into the house quietly, as if subconsciously on a fucking stakeout. A shaky sigh came when he’d leant against the wall, dropping his bag and shutting the door behind him.

It was a lot and he hadn’t even met her yet.

His daughter.

A rush of guilt panged in his chest and forced the steps he took toward the living-room. His broad shoulders filled the doorframe, in complete contrast to the tiny baby who lay in your arms.

His cold heart attempted to ignite a spark at the sight, kickstarting a warmth that didn’t quite come. Not until you had caught sight of him and instantaneously teared up. It was like all hell had broken loose in his chest, experiencing emotions he hadn’t felt in years. Still, he couldn’t speak, nor move.

You brought her to him, standing up and pressing your forehead against his chest. “You don’t need to say anything.” He nodded quietly, looking down at the baby in your arms. The inner corners of his eyebrows had raised, jaw tensing and loosening between seconds.

You could practically see the thoughts race through his mind. Good and bad.

“Stop worrying, you’re home now.” His shirt had a central wet patch from your silent tears.

You weren’t going to tell him how it was hell, how awful it was that he wasn’t around, and just how much you cried the night you got home with her. Welcomed by an empty house and darkness.

“Simon.” You said weakly, looking up at him and catching the gloss of his dark eyes. He was just as devastated about the whole thing. “Don’t think about it. It’s over. We have her, she’s safe, I'm safe.”

He nodded slowly, eyes unmoved from the baby below him. “Do you want to hold her?” Your voice came as a whisper, aware of his anxieties.

“I don’t know how.” He cleared his throat, looking back up to you. The hardness in his eyes was still there, although exposed by the sheen of upset that threatened to spill. You’d never seen him cry. Not once in the seven years of being together.

You smiled a little at him, a quivering one at best. “You just have to support her head.” Your arms lifted toward his, lightly adjusting his positions before handing your daughter toward her father.

And fuck, did it hit you then.

Stepping back, you made an effort to mentally photograph the scene in front of you. His eyes cast down to the baby in his arms, holding her as if she could break any second. The large palm of his hand was bigger than her whole body, supporting her with his arm although she barely used a forearm's worth of space. Her little hands raised upward, entirely relaxed in his arms as opposed to the crying he had walked in on.

His energy had entirely calmed her down.

“How do you feel?” You sucked your lips inward, both hands on your head to calm the maddening amount of emotion running through your stomach.

His eyes remained fixed on his daughter, still frozen in the position you had put him in. “I don’t know.” He admitted, voice as deep as ever although it had a strain to it.

You nodded. “That’s okay.”

The two of you shared a silence for a minute or two, just entirely in the moment for your daughter and the small babbles she made every now and then. The only consistent sound was her breathing, only audible for the dead silence in the house.

He shifted, “Are you alright?”

You rubbed your arm, looking up at him to find his eyes already on yours. “Mhm.” It was the truth, although he was evidently searching for a different answer. “Just glad you’re home.”

“Have you slept much?”

“Not really. But that’s okay.” The sweet tone of your voice made his shoulders drop, arms relax and his eyes soften. Well, until the baby began to cry and he tensed up all over again, silently panicking while looking to you. “Relax, Si.”

He screwed his face, letting her small hand curl weakly around his finger in hopes she would stop crying. “She’s fine. You’re fine.” A warm laugh escapes you and a slight smile plays on his lips at the sound. “She’s just tired.”

He pushed his arms toward you, gesturing you take her back. He was tired. You could see it in his eyes, “She’s still crying.”

“I couldn’t hear that.” You quip and he tsks, holding his arms out a little further. “Sit with her, it’ll be easier on your arms.” It was a thing for you, wanting him to have her in his arms as often as he could and not scare himself away.

He gave you a predictably unsure look before moving to the sofa. Each step he took was cautious to not stir her even further, sitting down slowly. You leant against the dining table, looking at him from across the room as he mumbled words you couldn’t hear to the baby in his arms.

When he had relaxed, she too calmed down. The steady breathing of his chest created a rise and fall that drifted her to sleep, small fingers still wrapped around his the best they could.

“Are you alright if I shower?”

He looked up in your direction, a flash of a panic appeared across his features. “What do I do if she wakes up?” His glance directed back down to the unthreatening baby in his arms.

“Just talk to her, like you just did.” You walked over, leaning down over the back of the sofa to press a kiss to his cheek. “I know it’s hard, but don’t think about it too much.” Hands placed on his shoulders, massaging into his collarbones.

He hummed in response.

“I’ll be ten minutes.”

Simon only lasted three. Three minutes of staring down at his daughter, alone and full of emotion for her but it wasn’t willing to come out just yet. Fatigue had taken over and by the time you had gotten back, ready to put her down for the night, she was already deep in sleep along with her father.

She was on his chest, arm raised upward to his neck where her tiny fingers touched his skin. His head tilted to the back of the sofa, two hands supporting her while soft snores left him.

Fatherhood.

reblogs and comments are very much appreciated! i’ll sit in a hole if no one pats me on the head every now and then.

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[celandeline]

I'm thinking about Carl being insecure about his eye. y/n found a way to comfort him. Imagine what comic Lydia did, LOL. But just write whatever you like

i got a little carried away with this one, so it's going to be a two-parter (sorry)

also- comic Lydia sticking her tongue in his eye socket haunts me like the plague because i can't decide if it's disgusting, or i too, would do that given the opportunity

Believe Me

Carl Grimes X Reader [part two]

You always make a point to see Aaron off when he’s about to leave to go recruiting. You know that he can handle himself, that he’s done this a million times before, that Daryl would never leave him behind, even if things got sticky - but you never know. Coming back alive is never guaranteed. 

You hold his bag for him while he fumbles with the car keys until it unlocks. “You’re sure you don’t want to take anything else? Another water bottle? More protein bars?”

He turns around to take his pack from you with a smile. “We’re only going to be gone for two days, I think I’ll be alright with just this.”

The rumble of Daryls bike announces his presence before he rolls up beside the car, stopping. “Y’ready?” He gruffs. 

“Almost.” He tosses his bag into the passenger seat before turning to back to you with open arms. “Give me a hug.”

You squish yourself into his chest, and squeeze him as tight as you can. “Bye Dad. Be safe.” 

You feel him swallow, and hold you a little tighter. Calling him Dad is still a little new, and it makes him tear up a little more often than not. He’s not your biological father - no, your biological parents died years ago at this point - but he has become a father to you, ever since you started living with him and Eric. 

“You too.” He says, pulling back to look you in the eye. “And make sure Eric doesn’t try the stairs alone again please. He’s not as good at maneuvering in that boot as he thinks he is.”

You grin, and jokingly salute. “Yes sir.”

He slips into the driver's seat, and then he and Daryl are pulling away, heading towards the gates. You watch them go until they round the corner, and try to put your nerves to rest. The sound of plastic wheels on the sidewalk is a welcome distraction, and you turn around to see Carl pushing Judith along in the stroller.

He smiles when you turn around, and you return the gesture. “They’re going out again?” He asks, nodding in the direction your dad and Daryl went. 

“Yeah.” You say. “Only for a couple days this time, but you know.” You never really know when you’re coming back. If you’re coming back. 

He nods, and Judith gurgles happily in her stroller, reaching for the hem of your shirt. “You wanna join?” He asks. “M’ just taking her around the cul de sac before I bring her home for her nap.”

“Sure.” You say, welcoming the distraction from worrying about if this is the time that Aaron doesn’t come back. You fall into step beside Carl as he pushes the stroller along, following the sidewalk, passing by the houses of friends and neighbors. It’s quiet, the middle of the day with most of the adults at work - whatever that may be. It almost feels like you, Carl, and Judith are the only people in this whole town. 

“You think you’re gonna do that?” Carl asks. “Go recruiting with Aaron when they decide we’re old enough for real jobs?”

“I don’t know.” You say, honestly. “I mean, I guess I wouldn’t worry so much if I was with him, but then Eric would worry twice as much. And I don’t have a whole lot of experience out there - I was only on my own for a couple of months before Aaron found me and brought me here. You’d be good though,” You glance over at him. “I mean, you’ve got loads of experience out in the real world.”

He shakes his head. “Nah- I mean, yeah I’m experienced, but I don’t think they want the kid with the mangled face being the one to go make first impressions on new people.” He grins, halfheartedly joking, “Don’t want to scare ‘em off.”

“Huh?” You laugh, looking over at him. “What’re you talking about?”

He rolls his eye. “C’mon.” He says. “I know what I look like. Sending the ugly guy out there to try and recruit people probably isn’t the best image for our group.”

“Carl.” You say, brow furrowing. “Do you know what you look like?” You’re so confused - sure, he’s missing an eye, but he’s still the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen. The eye that he still has is the kind of blue that makes you think of the sky on a sunny day, and you’d kill for hair like his - long and silky and a dark brown that makes his blue eye stand out even more. He looks like a fairy tale prince. 

He glances at you. “You’re looking at me like I’m stupid.”

You laugh. “I mean how could you not be, when-” 

“Wow, thanks.” He snarks, cutting you off. 

“Shut up.” You say, knocking your shoulder into his. “I was trying to say that you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen, before you interrupted me.”

You words hang in the air, and he looks steadfastly ahead. The only sounds are the plastic stroller wheels rolling on the sidewalk, and Judith’s occasional little noises. You can see a blush rising to his cheeks, and bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling, lest he think you’re making fun of him. 

“You’re just saying that ‘cause we’re friends, and you’re trying to be nice.” He says. 

“‘M not.” You insist. “It’s true - you’re really pretty, Carl.”

He still won’t look at you. “Half my face is just a hole.”

“Which just makes you look cool and badass.” You say, trying to peer around his curtain of hair to get him to look at you. He still won’t look at you, and the redness on his face has only gotten worse. “You still don’t believe me.”

He shakes his head, slowing as you reach the steps up to the porch of his house. He walks around to the front of the stroller to unbuckle Judith and lift her out of the seat. She slumps against his shoulder, obviously ready for her nap. “Um.” Carl looks down at the stroller. “Could you-?”

“Gotcha.” You say, folding up the stroller and carrying it up the porch steps after Carl. He opens the door and you follow him inside, gently kicking it shut behind you. “Where-?”

“Uh, we usually just leave it by the door.” He says over his shoulder as he starts up the stairs. “Let me just put her down-” He disappears around the bend in the landing, and you prop the folded stroller against the wall next to the door. You loiter at the bottom of the stairs until Carl appears at the top again, still a little pink. 

He comes down the steps and leads the way into the living room, towards the couch. You plop down onto the sofa, turned to face him next to you. “So-”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“No.” You grin. “Not until you believe me.”

He rolls his eye. “Fine. I believe you.”

“I mean really believe me.” You say. “What’s it going to take?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fine.” You say. “Where’s the nearest mirror?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

He pauses for a moment before responding. “I have one in my room.”

You get up from the couch and creep upstairs, careful to keep quiet so as to not wake Judith, Carl a reluctant half step behind you. He points you in the direction of his room, and you slip inside, holding the door open for him before shutting it quietly. The mirror isn’t anything special, just a rectangle of glass hanging above the dresser, but you grin at the sight of it anyway. 

Grabbing him by the shoulders, you steer him in front of the mirror, watching over his shoulder. “See?”

“Yup.” He says, unenthused. “I see this every day, actually.”

“Apparently not.” You say, moving a hand from his shoulder to gently play with his hair. “I mean, look at this.” You hold the lock up in front of his gaze. “Your hair is gorgeous. And-” You drop his hair in favor of softly holding his jaw, turning his head so that his jawline is more prominent. “This.” You run a finger along the line of his jaw. “This too.” You turn his head again so that you can sweep your touch over the bridge of his nose. “And of course,” You thumb over his cheek, tapping each of his freckles. Your hand still on his cheek, you grin at him in the mirror. “You’re blushing.”

“What are you doing?” He asks, soft. 

“Showing you.” You say. 

“Why?”

“Because you should know.” You say. “And it’s personally offensive when you say you’re ugly, because that means you think the guy I’ve been flirting with is a total dud.”

It takes him a minute to process it, and you can see it in his eye when he puts it together. “You’ve been flirting with me?”

“Maybe you are stupid.” You muse. 

You didn’t think it was possible, but he turns even more red. “I don’t- really? Me? Why?”

“Jesus Christ Carl, how far am I going to have to go before you believe that I like you.” You laugh. 

He makes eye contact with you through the mirror. “As far as you want.”

[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 3

I'm living for the love for this story!! Thank you everyone!

I'm sorry to say that any requests to be added to the tag list will be ignored. It's all full up! But! You can follow me and put on notifications. That seems to work for most people!

In this we have a lot of growing pains and the girls try everything they can think of to keep Eddie home.

Part 1 Part 2

~

The next couple of days were spent ironing out of the kinks and setting expectations. Like when Steve scolded Janice for pulling on Joan’s braids and she yelled back that she wasn’t the boss of her.

Both girls went running to their dad.

Eddie looked down at his two little sun spots. “I don’t know why you’re coming to me about this, if Steve saw Jannie pulling Joanie’s hair, then he had every right to call it out. Just like Chrissy, just your uncles. He is in charge while I’m gone, so you better get used to his authority. Both of you girls go sit on your time out chairs for five minutes.”

Both girls gasped in shock, but after an intense showdown, they did as they were told.

“Thanks for that,” Steve said with a huff. “There’s always a little bit of give and take for first couple of weeks, and you laying down the law will really help that.”

Eddie smiled up at him. “It’s just been a tough year for them both. They’re old enough to remember Ethan, but young enough that it’s all the good and none of the bad. So they don’t understand why he left. I’ve been talking to a couple of therapists that think once they’re a little older, they want to start seeing both girls.”

“Nothing quite as traumatic as abandonment issues from an early age,” Steve said with a nod.

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

Steve sat down on the sofa with a sigh. “Unfortunately, yes. Only my parents did just enough to make sure I wasn’t taken away from them. Making sure their trips would only last long enough that it would be considered child abandonment and endangerment. Sending me gifts for my birthday and Christmas, but not being there.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“Then as I got into high school, sending me money for groceries and gas. As well as a hefty allowance to make sure that I wouldn’t talk. ‘Let’ me throw lavish parties and then ground me when they found out. Only they would pack up and leave, knowing I’d ignore the grounding because they were gone. Just a bunch of stupid shit like that.”

Eddie’s expression softened. “In the Hall of Fame of shitty parents, that’s really up there, man.”

Steve let out a huff of bitter laughter. “I got the last laugh though. The second I turned eighteen and finished school, I told them I was running away with my best friend and joining the circus. Then I told them I was bisexual and never looked back.”

“So how was the circus?” Eddie asked with a grin.

“Not as fun as you’d expect,” Steve conceded. “Robin and I didn’t have anything like skills to be a performer, and wasn’t experienced in running the booths and rides, so we were part of the put up and take down crew.”

“So how did the nanny thing come about?” Eddie asked, crossing his legs and leaning his elbow on the arm of the chair.

“I used to babysit these kids when I was younger,” Steve said, putting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, “and when the one’s dad died and left a hefty life insurance to his mom. She suddenly was overwhelmed and hired me to nanny for her.”

Eddie thought back to the resumé the agency had sent over. “Mrs. Henderson, right?”

“That’s the one,” Steve leaned back on the sofa. “Dustin was a good kid. Too smart and arrogant for his own good.”

“Then of course, Mrs. Henderson recommended me to her friends,” Steve said. “One of them said they would only hire me through an agency. My ex-girlfriend happened to work at a nanny agency while she was going to school and offered to put in a good word for me.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “That was nice of an ex. I don’t know if I have any exes that would do the same for me.”

Steve just shrugged. “We didn’t exactly part on the best of terms either, but I used to babysit her younger siblings and knew how good I was. Nancy Wheeler is nothing but logical. She knew I would be good at it.”

“I spoke to a Nancy earlier,” Eddie said thoughtfully. “She really went to bat for you.”

“That’s Nance for ya,” Steve huffed. “Tenacious to a fault. This is her last semester at college and then she’s going to go to Emerson to get her journalism degree. She wanted to get her generals out of the way so she wasn’t paying out the ass for them.”

Eddie smiled. “Looks like I really lucked out then.”

“I guess you did,” Steve said softly. “I did too. Having you here these last couple of days have really helped out. They are still going to have the worst meltdowns during that first week you’re gone, but knowing you’ve already set the boundary they’ll only butt against it instead crossing it.”

Eddie smirked. “They’ve chased off nannies before. It’s why I have a very specific list of do’s and don’t’s with anyone I hire.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” Steve chuckled. “Normally, I’d put them to bed, but because it’s your last night with them, I’d suggest you do it.”

“Of course,” Eddie said softly. “Thank you for taking good care of them, Steve. I’m really grateful to be leaving them in such capable hands. I don’t want to go on this tour, not really. But I need a break. I love my girls, but with Ethan leaving it feels like he took away my right to chose how to live my life.”

Steve got up and moved to the desk and sat down on it half way. “But at least you have the money and the wherewithal to make sure they are taken care of. Every parent needs a break once in awhile. You’ll go out there make your fans happy and then when you come back, you’ll appreciate them all the more for leaving.”

Eddie looked up at him, then his eyes fluttered shut. He pursed his lips together and leaned his head back. He opened his eyes to look at him again. “You don’t think I’m being a bad parent?”

“It does you no good to burn yourself out,” Steve soothed. “It would do them more harm if you burned out and couldn’t take care of them anymore.”

“I love them so much,” Eddie said, his lower lip quivering. “But not having any help except Chrissy occasionally made it hard.” Tears trickled down his cheeks.

Steve pulled out a tissue and handed it to him. Eddie let out a watery chuckle. “You didn’t have anyone close that could help you?”

Eddie wiped his eyes and shook his head. “My former bandmates kinda scattered all over the globe. Gareth in Wales where his family is from, Jeff in New York, and Brian in LA. My uncle, Wayne broke his leg just after Ethan left and he’s just barely moving around without a cane. I couldn’t make him watch two rambunctious four year olds.”

He let out a shuddering breath and then another. “A lot of the nannies we had kept trying to be their mother. One was even caught trying to teach Joanie to call her Mama.”

“That’s rough,” Steve murmured. “But I’m here to help you. I’m not going to try and replace you as their dad. Or even Ethan, really. I’m just an extra person you can rely on.”

“You don’t mind setting up the household staff do you?” Eddie asked, his voice still rough from the crying. He blew his nose and then threw the tissue away in a nearby garbage. “It’s just that I want people that will work well with you and not try to fight you on every little thing.”

Steve shook his head. “No I get it. Plus getting help for a place as big as this one, I’d need the help otherwise I’d wear myself out before you got home.”

Eddie chuckled. “Do you like the house? Some of the other nannies thought it was creepy.”

“Mr. Muns–” Steve began but Eddie cut him off.

“Call me Eddie,” he said softly. “Mr. Munson makes me feel old and I’m not ready for that yet.”

“All right, Eddie,” Steve murmured back, “I think it’s spooky in a fun way. It’s not creepy. It’s beautifully decorated. I’ve seen creepy. Like tiger and elephant heads mounted on the walls with fully stuffed birds and in one horrifying case a Tasmanian wolf.”

“Aren’t those extinct?” Eddie asked with a grimace.

“Oh yeah,” Steve said, moving to sit on on the desk all the way, to put some distance between them. Before he did something stupid like kiss his boss. “I made sure to report his taxidermy to the Feds on the way out.”

“Brutal.”

“Dude was creep and his wife wasn’t much better,” Steve said with a shrug. “I felt sorry for their kids. They didn’t deserve having parents like those.”

“What made you leave?” Eddie asked, honestly curious on how Steve could have gone through so many clients considering he didn’t seem very old.

Steve kicked his feet a little, careful not to kick Eddie. “They aged out of needing one. They were already pre-teens when I got hired. They basically only needed someone to pick them up from school and make them dinner before their parents came home.”

“How long were you with them?” Eddie asked, more to keep Steve there then any real curiosity he had. Yeah, he had been curious about what made him leave, but this was blatant flirting at this point.

Steve laughed. “What’s this, more interview?” he teased. “No, in all seriousness, it was about a year. Most of my clients only need me temporarily anyway. I’m pretty sure that for at least three of them, their friends or family got to them about me being a guy, because they hired a female nanny soon after.”

“That’s bullshit,” Eddie huffed. “I’m sorry that they kept doing that to you. If anyone says anything to you, send them my direction. I’ll set them straight.”

“Thanks,” Steve murmured. He checked his watch. “It’s about time for me to make dinner.”

Eddie nodded and watched him leave. Once Steve had closed the door to his office behind him, Eddie put his head in his hands. It was so hard to keep his hands to himself when Steve was that close.

He just hoped that the three months he was going to be gone would be enough to put out the fire in his gut for his new nanny for fuck’s sake. He needed to get laid, Jesus fucking Christ!

The rest of the night passed with relative ease. Steve made meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes with corn on the side.

Night time went well, too. Both girls drifting off to sleep quickly.

Morning, though? That was what was fraught with difficulties and tantrums.

Joan refused to get dressed, flopping on the floor and sobbing uncontrollably. Janice dumped her cereal on the floor, kicking and screaming like a toddler. Joan threw herself at the door while Janice tried to hide Eddie’s shoes.

Eddie stared Janice right in the eye as he pulled out another pair of shoes out of his carry-on. And then another out of his suitcase. He put the shoes back in the suitcase, but pulled on the shoes from his carry-on. All while Janice stood there with her jaw on the floor.

Steve pulled Joan away from the door so Eddie could open it and both girls started crying. Eddie hugged and kissed each girl goodbye.

Steve picked up both girls and held them up to the window so they could wave goodbye as Eddie drove off.

He set them down and they both flopped on the floor like ragdolls. He let them lay there for awhile, even taking advantage of Joan not moving to get her dressed. He put his hands on his hips it was going to be a long week. A very long week.

~

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

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9- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

10- @kultiras @morallyundefined @ollieolive @themoonagainstmers @tartarusknight

[anonyymouslyyours]

spencer's hands are SO hot and veiny, i want to bite them.

the other day i was thinking about having sex for the first time with s2 spencer, and both being so nervous, specially him, so you basically BEG for his hands, saying something like "your hand, please, i want your hand" grabbing his hand and guiding him so he can put his fingers deep inside you, and him being like "😲 you, uhm, you like my hands?"

idk im just a whore for his hands and s2 spencer

warnings; fingering , kissing , references to handjob/blowjob at end , inexperienced spencer

spencer and you had been dating for 6 months now. when you started dating, you knew he wasn't very experienced, but it had been half a year, and all you had done was kiss.

you knew he was attracted to you. after particularly heated kisses he'd always back away, the bulge in his pants obvious, and then leave muttering about having to take care of something.

you knw you were ready, and from a brief conversation you'd had with him, you knew he was too. so when he messaged you, after he'd been away for a couple days, telling you he would be home in the evening you decided to put a plan in motion.

you searched your wardrobe for the most.. revealing piece of clothing you could find, settling on a little black dress, which fit you perfectly. you bit your lip as you pulled out the only pair of mildly seductive panties you own, a light pink lacy set, you were sure he'd appreciate.

candles were lit, sheets were changed, perfume was sprayed and finally a knock sounded at the door.

fixing your dress nervously, you approached the door, opening it to reveal a disheveled spencer. his tie was crooked, and his usual slick back hair was all over the place. somehow, he still managed to look put together.

"hey." he said smiling, and stepping in to wrap you in a hug.

he stood back, eyes running up and down your body. your cheeks flushed red as you watched him, happy to see your efforts were noticed.

"you look.. very nice." he said, swallowing nervously. his hand reached up to pull at his collar, trying but failing to loosen it.

you step forward, swatting his hand away so you can take off his tie, you hold it in your hands, placing a kiss to his neck as you back away. spencer inhales sharply, eyebrows furrowing.

"do you, um.. want to sit down?" spencer said, placing his case on the hallway table.

"yes." you said, nodding and guiding him into the candlelight living room.

his eyes widened as he walked into the room, taking in the decorations you'd put up.

"wow.. is it our anniversary? wait no, that was a couple weeks ago.." spencer questions.

"no, i just wanted to have a nice night. with you."

you take his hand, guiding him down to the couch. you knew spencer was awkward, but right now he looked straight up uncomfortable. he positioned himself on one end of the couch, taking off his shoes and shuffling about.

"something wrong?" you ask, watching his body language.

"no, nothing at all.."

"are you sure?" you ask, rising an eyebrow at his obvious lie.

"you just look really nice, and i'm not sure why. i'm obviously not super experienced with the whole... dating thing and you know. but is there something you- uh want?" his eyes dart around the room, attempting to look anywhere but you.

you chuckle at his rambling, leaning forward a bit to get closer to him.

"well, i've been thinking.. maybe its time that we go a little." you pause, searching for the right word. "further."

spencers eyes widen, and he nods eagerly. you laugh at his reaction, as you crawl across the couch and onto his lap. his hands are held in the air, eyes watching you as you move into him.

"here." you instruct, placing his hands on your hips. you squirm slightly, until your in a comfortable position straddling him. a small smirk appears on your face, as you feel a small bulge poking into your thigh, a result of your movements.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to uhh-" spencer says, referring to his little problem. spencer moves to get up, trying to cover himself when you stop him, grabbing his arms and locking your thighs around his. a gasp leaves his lips, as you roll your hips ever so slightly against his.

"jesus-" he mumbles, as you continue your movements.

you lean forward, pausing your grinding briefly, to kiss him. you reach your hands up to cup his cheeks, pulling his face in closer. his hand squeezes your waist, on instinct, and you moan into his mouth. shook covers your body, as you break the kiss, taking in spencers surprised expression. your eyes flit down to his hands noticing, and not for the first time, the veins that you run along them, which you find unexplainably attractive. his eyes follow yours, and he moves his hand from your waist, reaching up to cup your cheek, like you had done before.

he watches as your eyelids flutter at the notion, and you smile softly. to your surprise, spencers thumb moves to press on your bottom lip softly. you part your lips, allowing his thumb to slip through them. your tongues circles around it, sucking slightly. spencer watches you carefully, now painfully aware of the erection thats prodding against your panties, covered by your skirt. he pulls his hand away from you, not missing the soft whine that falls from your lips. you reach out grabbing at his hand and pulling it down to your skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties.

spencer groans at the sight, and your cheeks heat at his reaction.

"spencer.. can you- touch me?"

"with my hand..?" he questions, a confused expression on his face.

"please, i want your hands."

you pull your panties to the side, grabbing his hand and guiding it down towards your clit. spencers eyes are focused, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, as you begin to guide his finger to circle your clit. you take your hand back, and spencer continues the motion. a moan falls from your lips, your head lolling back slightly.

"now just.." you reach to guide his hand down to your entrance.

his brows raise, as if to confirm what your asking, and you nod. his finger slips into your entrance, and your eyes roll back into your head at the feeling, a loud moan leaving your mouth. spencers mouth parts in shock at your reaction.

"you, uhm, like my hands?" he asks, and you nod quickly, affirming his thoughts.

"deeper, please spence." you gasp out.

spencer follows your command, moving his finger in and out of you.

"just rub on my clit, with your thumb.." you say, a moan leaving your mouth when he does so.

"i'm so close- god spencer."

you rest your head against his shoulder as you begin to feel yourself come undone. your thighs shake, moans leaving you as you come. spencers almost transfixed by the sight, hips rutting up against yours without control.

your panting slightly, lifting your head off his shoulder to kiss him.

"thank you."

"your, uhm, welcome?" he says, unsure what to say.

he gasps, as your hand comes down to his thigh, trailing to the bulge.

"your turn?" you say, tilting your head.

[hanasnx]

oh pornstar ani how i’ve missed you

what do u think he’d be like with a virgin? do u think he’d like it or would he rather be with someone more experienced?

-🎀

MINORS DNI 18+

ADULTFILM!ANAKIN SKYWALKER prefers someone more experienced. There’s a frailty to a virgin that's difficult to get around, and since he’s impatient and far from a teacher, he doesn’t want to have to drag someone through the process. There's a lot of messiness that can come with being someone's first. Someone with experience can bring a lot of unspoken trust, professionalism, and conversation to the table which helps blend the pair together. Especially because Anakin has a nasty habit of taking things too far, he needs someone with the ability to say no in the moment before he gets carried away. It’s not that he hates virgins, dislikes them, or thinks they’re useless, he just prefers experienced co-stars.

However, there’s been an exception: you, a virgin porn-star. You’ve been laughed at in this industry, endlessly and you’ve learned to take the joke. A virgin porn-star sounds like an oxymoron if you've ever heard one. You do at-home stuff from the safety of your own camera and PC, stuff with anal beads and dildos you order off Bad Dragon. A live show occurs every so often. Of course you’re not an expert, but that’s the point. Your whole schtick online is that you’re clueless to angles, and performances.

Your comment section is a slew of dudes asking invasive questions. Do you have a boyfriend, are you waiting for your wedding day, does he know you do this depraved shit late at night for strangers to thirst over? Do you know that you're a minority here, that you'll never get farther than a glorified over-rated amateur? When will you lose your virginity and just get over with? But they're the same guys that jack off to your virtuous pussy on full display to the camera you bought with the money you made off this demographic.

No, you've never had a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you can't explore yourself... Besides, you think it's fun that guys clamber to beg to be your first. One comment in particular had you thinking real hard. "You should film me fucking that pretty pussy for the first time... that'll get you a lot of views." When you'd started this account, you were sure you would've lost your virginity in the traditional way. Meet a great guy, go out, he sweeps you off your feet, and you go home with him, happily ever after. But you're getting along, and now getting it over with doesn't sound too bad, especially at the prospect of commercializing an asset you didn't realize you were sitting on.

So you campaigned it. You'd mention it any chance you got. On your profile, in your social media bios, in your videos, you let people know you were looking to break into the professional side of the industry. You didn't wanna be a virgin making home videos anymore, you want a job and you want your audience to pick who plucks that sacred coveted flower.

Until one day: "I've got a guy for you." You stare at that message a long time.

Anakin's not one to shy away from a job outside his comfort zone, especially when his director calls in a favor. So he helps you get situated as a courtesy, "This isn't like making your videos in your bedroom, don't be fooled by the pressure." His large hand takes yours and places it on his forearm, you try to ignore how thick and corded it feels under your palm as he pats it with your hand. "Give me a double tap like that if you need to stop. Anywhere you can reach." You nod, and give an uneasy look around the room that had a lot more people in it than you're used to, this is a set after all. You start to regret how famous your initial posts went.

"Hey." Firmly, he grips you chin, redirecting your gaze onto him. "Don't look at them, look at me. I'm the one that's gonna be inside you, alright?" His tone is perfectly casual, as if he's explained this a thousand times. You nod again. Why are you actually excited for this stranger to take your virginity?

[dallaji]

can you do bada lee smut, where bada wants to film while 🤟🏻 with reader HEHE i'm gonna leave the others to u:*

♡ bada lee x idol!reader / NSFW❗

WORD COUNT: 5k

CW: exactly what it sounds like tbh!! established relationship, porn without plot, once again giver!bada, filming 🔞 (consensually)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is loosely a part two of this / "Hope we make it to the Cloud". i received these two requests and felt they were alike enough to "combine" the two, hopefully that's ok! 🩷 thanks for the request and hope you enjoy. (ꈍ꒳ꈍ) ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Living alone wasn’t so bad.

When spending a long month performing, interacting with hundreds of people every day and flitting from one schedule to the other, getting to wind down in the comforts of your humble apartment almost felt like a privilege. And as soon as your promotions had ended, you had to take the time to get reacquainted with the place that you called home; time spent away, sleeping in cars or planes, almost made you forget what it felt like to have your own bed. 

Sometimes you felt pangs of loneliness, when you were no longer experiencing the rush of backstage and the fleeting interactions with other celebrities, some of whom you now considered friends. The feeling was especially present when you were on break, fighting the urge to get a pet to keep you company on several occasions. Though calling it a “break” was a bit premature, your team always surprising with a last minute schedule on your calendar. 

Still, living alone wasn’t so bad when you finally got a break from bright stage lights, sore limbs and buzzing eardrums. 

Besides, you aren't so lonely nowadays.

It was the middle of the day and you were watching a game show, feet propped up on the table and hair tied together, when you heard your front door unlock. 

“Honey, I’m home,” A tired voice sounded.

Tossing the spare key you had given her a few weeks prior into the little bowl on the table next to the door, Bada entered the room with the nonchalance only a person who spent a lot of time here could have. And well, she did spend a lot of time here.

As you beamed up at her from your seat, Bada was kicking her shoes off: donned in her practice cargos and a comfortable sweater, she looked as effortlessly attractive as ever. If you didn’t know her well enough by now, you would’ve almost missed the metaphorical thunder cloud hanging over her head.

You patted your lap eagerly. “C’mere!”

And with quick shuffling footsteps, Bada made a beeline for where you were seated, first dropping her backpack to the floor with a sigh and then unceremoniously flopping onto the couch, her head snuggling into your lap.

Your hands immediately caressed along her face, fingers gently pushing her bangs aside as you ran them through the pink streaks. 

“Long day?” You asked as you fanned her hair over your lap, combing through and detangling the knots.

Her eyes were shut, zoning in on your soothing touches. “Maybe I need a manager,” She muttered quietly, “I don’t know why I thought three choreo sessions in one day would be doable.”

You placed your forefinger between her eyebrows, smoothing over the frown that had started to form there. “Try not to hire mine. Before you know it, three sessions become six.”

Bada laughed at that, eyes opening to gaze up at you affectionately. “Missed you.” She mumbled, head turning to nuzzle into the palm of your hand.

“Is that so?”

She sat up slowly upon hearing your playful words, turning to face you with half-lidded eyes. Leaning in, gaze dropping to your lips, she placed her hand atop your thigh and gave it a firm, meaningful squeeze. “Want me to show you how much I missed you?”

You held your breath expectantly, leaning closer with a barely-there nod as Bada inched towards you to close the gap; she tilted her head and your eyes fluttered shut.

But then, the growling of a stomach sounded through the room.

Bada groaned as you erupted into giggles, shoving her off of you: “Please go eat! There’s some leftover rice and salmon in the kitchen.”

Her disgruntlement faded immediately at your words and she swept down to press a peck to your lips. “You’re the best.” 

“I know...” You hummed against her mouth, tugging her down again to steal seconds, feeling self-satisfied when Bada complied without hesitation.

You let her scurry off to the kitchen with a smitten grin plastered across your face.

“Did you finish the routine for that boy group?” You asked, watching her scavenge with your chin propped on the palm of your hand.

Bada dug into the rice cooker as she nodded, already chewing on a piece of salmon: “Yeah, it came together nicely! Wanna see?”

Clasping your hands together, you perked up. “Yes, please!”

“Laptop’s in my bag. All my recent recordings should be on it.” 

Bending over to unzip her backpack, you carefully pulled her laptop out and set it on your lap. You heard Bada heat up the remaining salmon as you booted up the computer. Her password was just her birthday, which she had sheepishly confessed to when you were still practicing your choreography together. As you opened her files, a screen popping up with over fifty recordings, Bada came to stand behind you, shoveling food into her mouth as if the bowl would sprout legs and run away from her. 

You scrolled through the recordings, which were arranged chronologically, until you noticed a thumbnail with a very familiar practice room.

As your mouth fell open in disbelief, your mouse hovered over the picture of what was undoubtedly Bada hunched over you in front of your practice room’s mirror; both your backs turned to the camera, but the scene all too recognizable. 

You didn’t know why, but you felt your lower stomach warm up at the thought of her having kept the recording. You barely registered the audible gasp behind you, and you turned around.

Bada was frozen in her tracks, chopsticks motionless at her lips as she stared at the laptop on your lap. 

“Oh my god, I—” She began, eyes searching the room for a place to set her bowl down as your eyes scrutinized her, “I could’ve sworn I deleted that! How did that— How did that get on my laptop?” She was stumbling over her words, and always had been a terrible liar.

You wordlessly navigated to the top of the screen and clicked on ‘Sort by last opened’, the videos reorganizing at your command.

The video was the third one on the list, even though it was over two months old. Once again your stomach curled, face heating up at the implication spread out in front of you.

Bada pressed her lips together in a fine line, face beet red as she was unable to meet your eyes, entirely unaware of your inner turmoil and instead cowering away from you. “I’m sorry, you— you can delete it. I shouldn’t have—”

“I never told you to delete it, back then.” You cut in hurriedly, and it was true, but you felt embarrassed at the words leaving your mouth all the same. “You’ve watched it?”

Bada stared at you in bewilderment, but she nodded, perhaps comforted by your words and thus no longer seeing the point in lying: “Several times.” She admitted bashfully, gaze moving back to the laptop.

You felt lightheaded, briefly imagining Bada alone in her studio with her hand between her legs and her eyes glued to the screen. 

“Oh,” You responded, “Why didn’t you...?” Unsure of how you were even trying to finish that sentence, you trailed off.

“We’ve just been so busy…” She said, sounding solemn, leaning over the backrest of the couch as her arms draped themselves over your shoulders. You leaned back into her embrace, your hands curling over her arms. 

It was true: between a grueling comeback schedule and the heightening demand for Bada, especially following the release of your single, made it difficult to see each other regularly. Bada had visited you backstage a handful of times, the both of you savoring your short moments together, hungry lips meeting while hiding away in your dressing room, until you were inevitably whisked away for your next schedule. Similarly, you dropped by her studio whenever there was an opening on your calendar, but the curious eyes of her students made it difficult to do much of anything. It was then when you had given her a spare key to your apartment, hoping you could meet each other halfway more often.

“I miss you so much.” She murmured, cheek resting against your temple, and the way she said it left you breathless. It had a hidden meaning to it, clear to no one but you. It almost sounded like a plea with the way she nosed into you.

“You were gonna show me how much you missed me.” You whispered, angling your head to look up at her properly. Her eyes were already on you, gaze heavy. You didn’t have to say the words back to her with the way you looked at her.

She barely gave you a moment to let the words hang in the air before she pressed her lips against yours with a desperate inhale, hand curling over the crook of your neck. The position you were in brought you right back to your first time together; Bada crowding over you with an insatiableness she only reserved for you as your mouths fit together, her warmth washing over you. You felt her nails scrape along the nape of your neck, her lips parting against yours, pleading, as you slipped your tongue past. She hummed pleasantly, lips closing around the wet muscle and sucking as her fingers dug into your hair.

Suddenly overwhelmed with the need of wanting her all over you, the couch separating your body from the comfort of her lean figure, you parted the kiss unwillingly. Before you could beg her for anything more, however, she moved her lips to your neck; immediately sucking a bruise against the unmarked skin. You gasped, instinctively baring your neck for her.

“Bada-” You began, but the words died in your throat as the tip of her tongue circled the mark.

“Click on the video.” She spoke in a hushed voice and only then did you become cognizant of the laptop resting on your lap, cursor still hovering over the video. “Fast forward a bit.”

With your eyes locked onto the screen and without moving your head, afraid you would lose the warmth of her mouth against your skin, you did as you were told; skipping through the recording until you found the exact moment Bada had turned you around, her chest pressed against your back. The sounds that came from the laptop speakers after you unpaused the video were sinful: the smack of lips gliding together and your quiet gasps as Bada smoothened her hands along your figure. You were feeling overwhelmed already and the two of you had barely done anything.

“You’re so beautiful.” Bada spoke as she watched the video from over your shoulder, still pressing soft kisses against your neck.

You could say the same about her with the way she was, and still is, able to command your body like an instrument. You were putty in her hands then and now, turning whichever way she conducted you.

She straightened her back slightly, looking down at you as her hands lowered to your front. In tandem with the Bada in the video, she found the hem of your shirt and pulled upwards, your arms raising to aid the process. You weren’t wearing a bra, and the cool air of the room made a shiver run down your spine. Bada, however, was delighted, warm hands immediately cupping over your breasts.

You craned your neck, chasing after her lips and she let you indulge: with your head tilted backwards your tongues met before your lips did, Bada angling her head to deepen the kiss impossibly more, fingers pinching your nipples inquisitively and stiffening them. You were sensitive straightaway, gasping into her mouth.

Then, an idea. Your fingers managed to find the space button and pressed, effectively pausing the video. Bada parted the kiss reluctantly, curiously peeking at the screen before looking down at you.

“Do you have your camera with you?” You asked, voice breathless.

She blinked at you in wonder but nodded: “Yes, in my backpack.”

You gave her a suggestive look, hands coming up to rest atop hers; still covering your breasts. “Do you… want to film a new one?”

You hoped you hadn’t misjudged Bada, and for the few seconds she was silent you feared you had ruined the atmosphere, but that feeling didn’t last long. The look she gave you was nothing short of infatuated.

Bada smiled, albeit entirely flustered, before giving you another kiss and you sighed in relief. She walked to her backpack, where it still laid on the floor, and began searching through it for the camera. As you shut the laptop and moved it off your lap, Bada reemerged with the familiar device.

The display was already flipped open, Bada’s fingers fiddling with the buttons with an almost childlike excitement that made you giggle. She looked up at you as if breaking out of a daze, and softened instantly at the sight of you: topless and patiently waiting for her. She lowered the device.

“You’re certain you’re okay with this?” Her eyes looked into yours, searching for any hints of doubt or apprehension.

“More than okay,” you assured, “Just tell me what to do.”

And as soon as the words had left you, Bada hit record. “Be you.”

She slowly walked around you, angling the camera as her eyes were glued to her display, taking in your appearance with the delicacy of someone who practiced this often enough in their head. You were starting to feel skittish, despite her attention on you almost feeling reverent, and fought the urge to cover yourself up.

Instead you crossed your legs, head tilting to the side as you looked straight into the lens of the camera: “I hope this doesn’t mean you’re going to keep your distance the whole time.”

You heard the buzzing sound of the lens zooming in on you, though you had no clue what exact part of you it was focusing on. “That would be impossible when you look like this, baby.”

The nickname, which was usually reserved for when the two of you spent time tangled up in each other, visibly flustered you. You sucked in your lower lip to hide a growing smile and glanced down, Bada smirking at your reaction. 

“Trying to set the scene for my future self.” Bada added meaningfully, and the implication made you feel warm.

She strode over towards you, eyes still focused on the camera display as she sat down on the table in front of you. You followed her movements intently, anticipating whatever request was burning on her lips. But instead of asking anything of you, Bada wordlessly nudged her knees in between your thighs, forcing your legs apart, and you adhered.

“Take your pants off.” She commanded and virtually immediately your hands dropped to the waistband of your trousers, tugging it below your hips. You would have time to ponder how embarrassing your submission to her was later, but for now you wanted to give her everything she asked for. 

With her unoccupied hand she helped you pull the fabric all the way off, with an almost impatient tug, and you made sure to stretch your legs as elegantly as possible, doe eyes never losing track of the lens; hyper aware of the camera following your every move as if this were just another music video recording. 

You let your hands slide up your thighs, fingers momentarily hooking into the straps of your panties before snapping them against your skin. Bada angled her camera, tracking the movements of your hands intently as her tongue peeked past her lips; wetting them. The palms of your hands moved along the curve of your waist, trailing them higher and higher, until you were pushing your breasts together ever-so-slightly. Then, you brought one hand behind your neck and leaned back into the couch. Your other hand dropped back to the strap of your panties, toying with the fabric between your fingertips, granting a sneak peek for the skin underneath - not that there was much more left to the imagination. 

For a moment Bada’s eyes moved away from the display, zoning in on your ministrations, and then she leaned back herself, the movements forcing your thighs further apart by the dull push of her knees against yours.

“You’re a natural.” Bada said teasingly, but remained cemented in her spot, much to your frustration.

You pulled the strap of your underwear below your hip, blinking up at the lens through long eyelashes, and pressed your crotch down into the couch. Subsequently, you slid your hand to your front, fingertips digging below the waistband of your panties; your eyes never losing track of the lens. You went lower and lower, gauging the taller girl’s reaction.

Once again you heard the noise of the lens zooming in, and your fingers finally found the top of your heat. You were already wet, spreading your folds with a quiet hum, and began lightly rocking against the fabric of the couch. The friction made you gasp, the thrill of your predicament making you feel increasingly more responsive to any touches. 

Bada parted her lips, watching on in awe. “Take those off.” Her voice was almost uncharacteristically deep, dripping with want.

And because you knew her well enough to know she couldn’t hold off for much longer, you gave her the most coy look you could muster and answered: “Come do it yourself.”

The sound of the table moving backwards echoed through the living room, Bada using her body to push it away. You didn’t cease your movements however, dragging your crotch against the couch again as you watched Bada in anticipation. She had placed the camera on top of a stack of books lying on the table, pointing the lens at you in a sideways angle, and stepped towards you. She towered over you before pulling her sweater over her head, and you watched as her slender frame appeared; still touching yourself. She was unbelievably pretty.

Then, she dropped to her knees, arms hooking under your legs as she pulled you to the edge of the couch in such a sudden motion you couldn’t help the soft yelp that fell from your lips. Her thumbs hooked under the straps of your underwear and pulled them off brusquely, leaving you completely bare in front of her.

She settled in between your thighs like she belonged there and leaned up, her hand on the side of your neck as she brought you in for a hungry kiss. The noise you made was desperate, but she silenced it immediately by plunging her tongue into your mouth; licking into it with a groan. Your fingers tangled into her hair, clinging onto her as your body begged for more, tongue gliding back against hers through parted lips. 

Bada cupped your jaw tightly as she swallowed the sweet noises you made, and parted the kiss to catch her breath; your own chest rising in exhilaration. Her thumb trailed along your bottom lip, moist from saliva, and pulled it down: “Just look pretty for me.” She muttered.

With that she slid down your body, lips leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck and to your cleavage, her hands feeling along the shape of your upper thighs, squeezing them. You felt your lower stomach curl when her lips pressed to your navel, and you put your arms at either side of your body; palms pressing into the couch as you gave your body away to her.

Her thumbs pressed into your hip bones when her mouth got closer to your core, but she immediately pivoted to the inside of your thigh, teeth grazing the skin before parted lips began to suck down a bruise.

Your head lolled to the side, letting out another soft gasp as her lips covered every area except the one where you needed her the most. You were going mad, wondering if you should start begging.

Her eyes met yours and she had the audacity to smile, a happy glow dusting her cheeks as her fingers dug deeper into the skin of your thighs. She pressed another openmouthed kiss near your hip bone before speaking: “Anything you want me to do?”

Your hand automatically moved in between your legs, but Bada stopped you with a firm hold on your wrist.

“Nuh-uh,” she tutted, “I’m directing here. Tell me what you want.” Her gaze was intense, smile growing wider as you grew more flustered, thighs twitching.

“I—” You began, struggling to find the words, “I want you to touch me. However you want.”

“However I want?” She tilted her head to the side, feigning confusion in a sweet voice.

“With your hands.” You added quickly, something in you stirring at the way her grip on your wrist remained resolute. “Please, I need it so bad.” More words escaped you before you could dwell on the humiliation: “I’m so wet for you.”

The look in Bada’s eyes darkened as she placed your hand back onto the couch, grabbing onto your thigh once again. She looked down at your glistening heat, momentarily sucking in her lower lips before meeting your eyes again. “For me?” She asked again, knowing the answer well enough.

“Only for you.” You near whimpered, and she finally released you from your misery.

Bringing her hand to her mouth, she lapped at her fingers before promptly lowering it to your vagina; spit-slicked fingers moving along your folds to spread your wetness with a purpose as her other hand held down your thigh, making sure you kept your legs apart for her. A groan of relief escaped you before you could realize and you bit down on your lower lip, feeling her explore. You heard her suck in a breath between her teeth as you glistened underneath her, marveling. 

You felt yourself get impossibly more wet from her touch, and Bada immediately took advantage of that. She started to rub against you in slow, circular motions as your hips involuntarily jerked from the sensitivity. With a soothing shush, her grip on your thigh tightened as she let her fingers dig into your folds with more pressure, a soft moan falling from your lips. 

“I’m starting to think you like begging.” Bada whispered longingly, fingers that knew exactly where to be circling against you with a deepening pace. 

Unable and unwilling to answer, you brought a hand up to your mouth and pushed two fingers past your lips; you sucked around them, muffling your moans. The look Bada gave you was simply ravenous, and you then realized you were here to put on a show for her camera. Her thumb brushed down against your clit, and your eyes fell shut in pleasure, the ministration sending electric shocks across your lower belly as you were unable to stop your hips from rutting into her touch. You withdrew your fingers from your mouth and brought them to your breast, rolling your nipple under them.

You heard the taller girl cuss between your thighs, her fingers dropping lower as she followed the noises you made; spurring you on. Then, you felt her forefinger catch at your entrance, drawing circles around and all you could do was hold your breath. 

Bada sank a finger into you, slow enough that the burn wasn’t overwhelming you, but you moaned all the same. She tentatively crooked her finger inside of you, intently watching your reactions, the grip she had on your thigh almost bruising. She began pumping her finger in and out of you, not too fast but fast enough to have you gasp her name, rewarding every honeyed moan with a curl of her finger. 

“More…” You begged, toes curling.

“Yeah?” She whispered, pressing a kiss right where your inner thigh and core met before handing you exactly what you wished for. 

Her middle finger pushed into you along with her index finger, and this time you felt the stretch more acutely. You audibly keened, nails digging into the fabric of the couch as she scissored her fingers inside of you, whispering soft praises encouraging you.

“That’s it, baby, let me make you feel good.”

Soon enough the burn was barely present, making way for an electrifying bundle of pleasure running up your spine. You rocked into her touch as much as Bada’s iron grip on you allowed, and she met you halfway, fingers pumping in and out of you at a steadily building pace. 

The way she looked up at you was maddening: somewhere between wondrous amazement and self-satisfied smugness, drinking in every second of the way you opened up to her in more ways than one. She gave a sharp curl of her fingers, and your thighs twitched dangerously. Bada caught on immediately and began moving her fingers inside you in a come-hither motion, pulling every sweet noise from you that she could. You thrusted down harder, mouth agape as you zoned in on the ecstasy that overtook you.

“Third finger, baby girl.” And you somehow found a way to part your thighs almost impossibly further, your body eager to receive more.

While her two fingers were still curling inside you, the third one joined, and you choked on a moan. This time Bada didn’t give you time to get used to the stretch, as all three fingers curled inside you over and over again.

Feeling overwhelmed almost instantaneously, hushed cusses spilling from your mouth, you inadvertently wriggled backwards; but Bada immediately pulled you back, keeping you locked in place as she pumped her fingers in and out of you at an unforgiving pace. She knew your body too well, because soon enough you had your head thrown back and thrusted back into her motions, her long fingers finding the spot to curl into.

“You’re so fucking hot.” She mumbled, and before you knew it her mouth was on you, tongue digging between your folds as she continued pumping her wrist. 

With her arm still curled around your thigh, she brought you closer to the edge of the couch; she wanted to dig in. Her name came out as a yelp as her lips closed around your bundle of nerves, sucking harshly as her moans began to reverberate against you. You brought a hand to the back of her head, fingers digging against her scalp as you held her in place, needing unfathomably more from her. Anything she was willing to give.

She swallowed around you so eagerly, so greedily, and then her hand let go of your thigh: she brought it between her own legs instead, fingers digging into her trousers.

You had to force yourself to look away or you would orgasm right then and there, feeling your eyes roll back instead. She was touching herself, rocking into her own hand as her mouth bobbed against you; her other hand still fucking into you. She was getting off to getting you off. 

You thought you were going insane, only able to give into your instincts and rock into her movements, all the while pulling on her hair which she seemed to relish in: the both of you building up to a pace where she pushed in exactly as you thrusted. You felt your toes curl again as that familiar pressure in your lower stomach began building up, and your head lolled to the side. You were a sweaty, writhing mess, and Bada was moaning against you so loudly it made you lightheaded. 

You noticed her own movements getting messier, too. Her wrist circled against herself as she slurped around you, and you brushed her bangs from her forehead to watch her own desperation overcome her. She curled her fingers inside of you again just as she sucked down on your clit, and you could've sworn you saw stars.

“Bada, I—” You began, warningly, as you fucked back against her, chasing after the uncoiling of your lower stomach. 

Bada hummed encouragingly, nodding against you in a frenzied state herself and crooked her fingers sharply, beckoning you to let yourself go.

Something about the way she gasped and moaned against you, yet still remained so dedicated to give you exactly what you wanted, is what did it for you. You felt your orgasm ripple through you so sharply you felt dizzy. You clutched onto Bada’s head between your thighs as you shook all over, her fingers curling into you harshly as she sucked on your clit through your implosion, until you felt her tremble against you too.

She fell forward, teeth pressing down on the inside of your thigh as she came with your name on her lips, rutting into her hand. You moaned, sensitive all over but running your hands through her hair soothingly, nails caressing along her scalp.

The both of you stayed like that for a solid minute, catching your breaths, until Bada leaned up on her trembling knees; far enough to wrap her arms around your waist and lean up for a tender kiss. Completely smitten, you kissed back despite the heaving of your chest and you wordlessly urged her to get on the couch with you. The taller girl obliged, immediately climbing on top of you and nuzzling into your hold with a tired smile, her cheek pressed against your collarbones.

The both of you giggled at nothing in particular, your fingers tracing delicate lines along the side of her face. 

As if experiencing a déjà vu, your eyes went to the camera perched on the table, inevitably recording, but the both of you too spent to do anything about it. 

“You know,” you began, fingertips still absentmindedly caressing along Bada’s jawline, “You’re gonna need a better password for your laptop.”

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡

　　　　　　　　　𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is caught between the past and the present, struggling to overcome her love for Chris while trying to move on with Alex, a kind and understanding man. When Chris reappears in her life, Y/N is forced to confront her feelings and make difficult decisions.

WARNING: Crying, angst/comfort with a happy ending.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by @ecliphttlunar and @sturniolohisteric

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Ever since she was a teenager, Y/N had always wondered what death would feel like. Those who have experienced it are not here to tell stories of it. Would it be painful? Would she feel it squeeze her heart with its dark touch, or would she sigh for the last time in her sleep, letting the darkness take her without noticing the transition?

But now, for her, death was not the last breath escaping her lungs, nor the melodic sound of machines beside her body in a hospital room. It was something that drowned her from the inside out.

His style is infused throughout her closet, his smile carved into the Polaroids she's kept as memories for years. She could still hear his voice, everywhere, in the people passing by on the street, the same Boston accent fresh in her mind.

Dying was not a singular event but a collection of small moments, of broken promises and shattered hopes.

Y/N wondered if she would ever be able to erase those memories, or if his shadow would always be there, an inescapable presence around every corner, in every look.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The city skyline, jagged and imposing, reflected in the windows of the triplets' Los Angeles home. The rooms were simple, modern and decorated perfectly to suit their personalities, but they seemed cold and impersonal at that moment, devoid of the warmth that once marked their lives with Y/N, but especially that of one person, Chris. It had been six months since they broke up, but Y/N's absence permeated the air, a ghost haunting every corner.

Chris was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the framed photograph on the nightstand. It was an old picture of him and Y/N, taken during a trip to the coast where they were celebrating their two years together. Their smiles were wide and genuine, their arms wrapped in a tight hug. The sea breeze had tousled her hair, and her eyes shone with unspoken promises. Now, it seemed like a lifetime ago, a different era when happiness seemed to last forever.

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. Emma, ​​his current girlfriend - or not anymore -, had left a few hours ago after a tense homemade dinner. They had been together for a few months now, but the connection felt forced, artificial. He tried to be present, to participate, but his mind always went back to Y/N. The laughter at the simplest jokes, the comfort of touch, the silent understanding that flowed between them effortlessly. With Y/N, he felt complete, understood, at home.

Meanwhile, across town, Y/N stood on the balcony of her new apartment, the city lights casting a soft glow on her face. She had also started seeing someone, Alex, a kind and patient soul who seemed to genuinely care. But try as he might, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

Alex was wonderful, but he wasn't Chris.

The memories of her time with Chris were a constant, painful reminder of what she had lost.

Y/N crossed her arms around herself, trying to ward off the cold that didn't just come from the cool night air. She remembered the nights spent in Chris's arms, the way he held her close, her back pressed firmly against his chest covered in Fresh Love's hoodies, his heartbeat sounding like a comforting beat against her ear. Those nights were full of whispered confessions and shared dreams, a sanctuary of intimacy that now seemed so far away.

Y/N wandered into the living room, unable to bear the sight of the painful memories any longer, it was comical how she could almost hear his loud laughter and whispered promises of love against her ears.

The girl poured herself a drink, hoping it would ease the pain, but she knew better. Alcohol might provide a temporary distraction, but it would never fill the void Chris had left.

She wondered if he thought about her, if he missed her as much as she missed him.

As the night grew darker, both Chris and Y/N found themselves reaching for the phone, the desire to hear the other's voice almost unbearable. But they stopped themselves, knowing it wouldn't change anything.

They really tried to move on and build new lives apart, but their hearts still belonged to each other. It was a cruel irony, to be so close and yet so far away, to love so deeply and yet be unable to be together.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The next day, Chris met Emma for lunch after fighting hard against Nick and Matt's complaints. He had to apologize and put an end on it.

She talked excitedly about her day, her eyes shining with excitement. Chris was smiling and nodding, but his thoughts were miles away. He wondered what Y/N was doing, if she was having lunch at her favorite Italian restaurant at that moment, if she was accompanied or alone, if maybe she found someone who made her feel complete again.

He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that Emma deserved someone who could give her all her attention, someone who wasn't haunted by the past.

It was not necessary to note that Emma soon noticed, again, his mental absence. A fervent discussion installed itself between both bodies, where Chris just nodded, knowing that he was on the wrong end, keeping his eyes down.

The boy left the restaurant without a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Y/N was in a coffee shop with Alex, who was explaining a new project at work. She tried to focus, to be present, but her mind kept going back to Chris. She remembered how Chris listened intently to her, his eyes never leaving hers, making her feel like she was the only living person in the world.

With Alex, it was different. He was kind and caring, but there was no spark. There was no magic.

She felt suffocated.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Days turned into weeks, and both Chris and Y/N continued their charade, pretending that they were fine, that they had moved on. But in the quiet moments, when they were alone with their thoughts, the truth was inescapable. They were still in love, still yearning for each other, still incomplete. Their new lifes seemed like shadows, pale imitations of what they had shared.

One night, Chris was sitting by the huge window in the living room, looking out onto the sparsely populated street, feeling the emptiness in his heart almost suffocating him.

The boy fished his phone out of the front pocket of his hoodie, his finger hovering over Y/N's name. Should he call? Would it make any difference? He hesitated, torn between his desire and his fear of rejection.

Across the city, Y/N was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Alex had kissed her goodnight and quickly fallen asleep, but Y/N was wide awake. Her eyes, which roamed the darkness of the room tirelessly, found her cell on the bedside table, thinking for long seconds before picking it up, her heart pounding.

Her fingers scrolled through old messages from Chris, the words a bittersweet reminder of their love. She wanted to send a text, to say something, anything, to bridge the gap that had grown between them. But doubt gnawed at her.

What if Chris had moved on? What if her text only opened old wounds?

At that moment, as if guided by some invisible force, both Chris and Y/N decided to connect.

Chris took a deep breath and dialed Y/N's number, his heart racing with each ring. At the same time, Y/N typed a short, halting text: "I miss you."

The phone rang twice before Y/N's screen lit up with Chris' name. Her breath caught in her throat as she processed what she was seeing before sliding her thumb over the green button.

"Chris?"

"Y/N." He said softly, relief filling his voice.

Y/N's eyes filled with tears upon hearing the voice that her ears had begged to hear again. Her eyes darted briefly towards Alex before she slowly got up from her own bed, walking out of the room stealthily, towards the balcony.

"I was about to text you." The girl's voice came out in a timid whisper, her free hand curling into a fist of anxiety. "I miss you, Chris."

"I miss you too. Every day, every moment. Being without you… feels wrong." Chris let out a shaky laugh, a mixture of joy and pain.

They fell silent, the weight of their words hanging in the air. It was a painful truth they had been avoiding, but now it was exposed.

"Chris, do you think we made a mistake?" Y/N asked after long minutes of listening to his breathing on the other side, her voice shaking.

"I think about it every day." He admitted. "We thought we were doing the right thing, giving each other space, but all I felt was emptiness. Nothing and no one compares to you, Y/N."

"Oh, Chris." Tears streamed down Y/N's face, her teeth gripping her bottom lip in a death grip in an attempt to hold back the sobs.

"Can I see you?"

"Now? Chris, I... Alex is with me." Y/N shook her head, even though she knew he couldn't see her, sniffling as her fingers pressed her eyes lightly, trying to ease the tears.

"Right, Alex..."

Chris was silent for a moment, processing the situation. His mind was in turmoil, but the need to see her, to be with her, was overwhelming. He knew he couldn't wait any longer, that every moment away from her was torment.

"I understand." He said finally, clearing his throat awkwardly, trying to keep his voice steady. "But... Can we talk in person tomorrow? I really need to talk to you."

Y/N nodded. She knew they had to. Ignoring her feelings wouldn't get them anywhere. It would only hurt them more.

"I know. Can we meet tomorrow? Maybe at our place?"

Our place. The little cafe where they spent so many mornings together, laughing and planning the future. Chris's heart skipped a beat when he heard those words.

"Yes, of course. Tomorrow at ten?"

"It's a date." Y/N replied softly, feeling a mix of anxiety and hope.

After hanging up the call, Y/N remained sitting on the balcony, her mind rushing. Chris's words echoed in her head, and she knew she had to make a difficult decision. She looked inside the apartment, where Alex was sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the internal conflict she was facing.

After a few minutes, the girl took a deep breath and returned to her room. She sat in the corner armchair, hugging her knees and watching her casual date sleep. He seemed so calm, so serene, which made her feel a weight in her heart, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she knew she was already doing it just by being with him.

The hours passed slowly. Y/N couldn't sleep, anxiety gnawing at her insides as her fingers moved against each other frantically. Her thoughts were a tangle of memories, doubts, and hopes. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Chris's face, felt his touch, and heard his voice. And that made her more awake than ever.

Around seven in the morning, Alex started to move. He turned over in bed, ready to get up, looking for Y/N next to himself. When he didn't find her body, he opened his eyes slowly, blinking to adjust to the low light in the room, a consequence of the sun that invaded through the cracks in the white aluminum windows. His eyes quickly found the girl's silhouette in the armchair, and his confused expression turned to concern.

"Y/N?" He called softly, voice hoarse with sleep. "What are you doing there? How long have you been awake?"

"Alex, hey... I lost sleep." The girl met his eyes quickly, sadness and determination reflected in her eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Alex frowned, his orbs studying Y/N's facial expressions, noticing her discomfort.

"Alex, we need to talk."

"What happened? You look worried." He sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to find the right words, her eyes lowering to her fingers, which were clenching her palms in anxiety.

"I... need to be honest with you. Something happened tonight that made me realize a few things."

"What was it? You can tell me." Alex tilted his head, concern rising.

She slowly got up from the armchair and walked to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress, next to him. Her right hand worked to find Alex's hand, feeling the warmth and gentleness in it, and that only made everything more difficult.

"Chris called me."

"Chris? Your ex-boyfriend?" Alex frowned slightly.

Y/N nodded, her tongue moistening her lips quickly, preparing to begin.

"Yes. We talked, and... I realized that I still have very strong feelings for him. I tried to move on, I tried to build something with you, but it's not fair. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me." She pressed her lips into a thin line, feeling Alex's fingers squeeze hers.

Alex was silent for a moment, processing her words. Finally, he sighed and looked down at his clasped hands.

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes, Alex. And it's not because you're not wonderful. You are amazing. But my heart… my heart, is still with Chris." Her voice broke slightly as her eyes filled with tears, her heart clenching in fear and guilt. "I'm sorry for holding you back for so long." A lone tear escaped, running down her cheek slowly.

"I appreciate your honesty, Y/N... I knew, you know? In a way, I felt like there was something you were holding back. Something that was keeping you from being completely with me." He squeezed her hand gently, his eyes full of understanding.

"Aren't you mad?" She raised her eyes to him, widening them in surprise at his response, sniffling as her free hand reached up to her own face, wiping away the single cold tear.

Alex shook his head slowly.

"No, I'm not. I'm sad, of course. I really like you, and I thought we could build something together, I had a million expectations. But I understand that you can't control your heart. And you were honest with me, and that's more than what a lot of people would do. I can't force you to stay with me."

Y/N let out a shaky breath, relieved by his understanding, feeling her heart lighter.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Alex. You deserve someone who can love you completely, without reservation. And I... need to work this out with Chris. See if there's still a chance for us."

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Y/N. And if things don't work out with Chris, I hope you find someone who makes you happy. You deserve it." Alex smiled sadly, but with genuine kindness.

She squeezed his hand one last time, feeling a rush of gratitude.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Y/N's head was a mess as she carefully dressed, choosing an outfit she knew Chris liked. As she looked in the mirror, trying to tame her hair, she remembered the lazy mornings when he would do this for her, a playful smile on his lips.

Chris was also anxious. He tried to hide his nervousness from Nick and Matt, but his brothers - who knew him more than he knew himself - noticed.

"You're going to see her, aren't you?" Matt asked, a knowing smile on his face as he spread peanut butter on his rice cracker, watching him from his seat at the dinner table.

Chris just nodded, taking big, quick gulps of his Pepsi.

"I have to do this. I need to know."

"Good luck." Nick muttered, patting him on the shoulder as he walked past him, sitting in the chair opposite Matt's. "We're rooting for you."

The cafe was almost empty when Y/N arrived. The girl chose a table at the back, where they usually sat and waited, feeling her heart beating wildly. Her eyes traveled frantically from the door to the window and back again, watching the passersby, trying to calm her nerves as she cracked her knuckles.

Chris arrived a few minutes later, still as handsome as she remembered. The boy stopped in front of the glass door of the establishment momentarily, his eyes sweeping the place, accompanied by his brow furrowed in confusion and anxiety, quickly meeting hers.

It was as if an instantaneous and joint spark ran through their bodies, both of them feeling a wave of emotions that almost knocked them over.

Chris took a deep breath, starting his steps towards her, sitting down with a shy smile in the free chair in front of her.

"Hey." Chris whispered, his voice soft, full of contained feelings, and only at that moment did Y/N understand how much she missed hearing the boy's voice in person.

"Hey." Y/N, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, an embarrassed nasal laugh escaping before she clears her throat, blinking rapidly.

The silence between them was not uncomfortable but full of unsaid things and pure feelings.

Finally, Y/N broke the ice.

"I... haven't stopped thinking about you, Chris. Ever since we split up, everything feels so empty."

Chris nodded, leaning his upper body on the base of the table and taking Y/N's hands - which were still tangled up in an act of nervousness -, interlacing their fingers gently.

"Me too. Nothing and no one could fill the void you left. I tried to move on, I really did, but it's impossible. You're the person I love, and it took me so long to notice that. It cost me almost losing you completely."

The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. They both knew it wouldn't be easy, that there would be many things to resolve, but at that moment, all that mattered was that they still loved each other.

"I don't know what it's going to be like." Y/N resumed, her voice shaking as her eyes traveled from blue eyes to pink lips. "But I know I want to try, Chris. I want to rebuild what we lost. I can't let you go. Not again."

"I also want that." He responded quickly, his voice increasing in volume significantly, squeezing her hand tighter. "I know we made mistakes, but I want to fix them. I want you in my life, Y/N. I can't live without you. I don't want to."

The relief and joy that flooded Y/N's features were undeniable. For the first time in months, she felt like there was hope that they could find a way back to each other.

They spent hours talking, remembering the good times and acknowledging the mistakes of the past. They decided that they wouldn't rush things, that they would take it all one step at a time, but most importantly, they would be on this journey together.

When they left the cafe, hand in hand, they both felt that a new chapter was actually beginning. Maybe there were still obstacles to overcome, but they knew that as long as they had each other, they could face all of it. Their love, despite all the challenges, was strong and truthful, and that was all they needed to start over.

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[songforeddiemunson]

Can you please do a Eddie X virgin reader where there has always been romance and they never acted on it until they confess when there watching a film and then a couple weeks after they make out then have soft sex

Thank you so much for the request!! I made some minor adjustments because that's just the route the narrative took me, but I hope you like it! I'm SO sorry this took so long, it's been a nutty few weeks.

NEXT SUMMER

Eddie Munson x Fem!Virgin!Reader (description vague apart from AFAB for inclusivity)

Summary: Eddie meets a cousin of the Wheelers who is visiting for the summer, and falls head over heels. The problem is, she lives in Chicago, and needs to return in the fall. Can they handle it?

Warnings/Tropes: longing with a bit of angst, fluffy affection, romantic soft smut, mild language, aftercare, mostly this is just really sweet.

Word Count: 5517

August 1990

You first caught Eddie’s eye on a late summer evening, standing under the twinkling lights of carnival rides at the county fair. It was the sort of cotton candy sky just moments before the sun dipped below the horizon, signaling the end of another august day. The droning cicadas were rapidly giving way to the cricket’s song, but all of those innocuous details faded away as Eddie watched you as you waited in line for the Scrambler, talking and laughing with your companion.

Eddie’s heart nearly leapt in his throat when he saw that the person you were speaking with was someone he actually knew. Nancy Wheeler! his brain screamed, and before he realized what he was doing, his feet were carrying him forward as if he was on autopilot, such was your magnetism.

Nancy caught sight of Eddie as he approached, and her face broke out into a broad grin. “Eddie!” she exclaimed with delight. “It’s so great to see you!” She hugged him as you stood by, a polite smile gracing your lips.

“Likewise, Wheeler,” Eddie replied fondly, and when his eyes slipped to you, your heart nearly ceased its rhythm. The breath was stolen from your lungs, and all you could do was stare wordlessly at the handsome man who evidently was a friend to Nancy.

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie was experiencing the same physical paralysis under your gaze.

“Eddie! You have to meet my little cousin!  She goes by Ivy, but her name is–”

“Oh my god,” you moaned, cutting Nancy off. Blood rushed to your cheeks in mortification.  “I am not little, I’m twenty years old now!’

Nancy giggled fondly. “Well sure, but you’ll always be little to me.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m only two years younger than you, but whatever.”

Eddie laughed, and your cheeks pinkened even more. “It’s nice to meet you, Eddie,” you said. You struggled to meet his eyes; it was like staring at the sun.

“It’s good to meet you too Ivy, if– if you don’t mind me calling you that.”

You smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “Please do.”

And so you spent the rest of the evening with Eddie and Nancy, keeping things oh so casual but feeling like you might die every time he looked at you. You remained aloof because, after all, you didn’t even live in Hawkins, and eventually you’d have to return home to the city. 

When Eddie first learned that you would be returning to Chicago at the end of the summer, he was crestfallen but struggled to mask it.

“I’m sure Chicago is really cool,” he said with forced bravado. “Way cooler than boring old Hawkins.”

“Oh but I love coming here,” you breathed enthusiastically. “Chicago is cool and all, but this is so nice. I love smelling the mown grass, and being able to go to the drive-in movie theater, and all that great summertime stuff.” You gestured around you. “And the county fair! I love coming to the fair.”

Eddie smiled despite his growing sadness. “You make it sound pretty nice. But really it’s just cornfields…”

“...I love corn,” you countered.

“And strip malls…”

“.....strip malls always have video stores, and I love movies.” you said with a grin.

Nancy returned from buying a candy apple.

You pointed at her. “Candy apples! I can’t buy candy apples in Chicago.”

“Hmm?” she replied, confused, chewing. “I’m sure you can buy candle apples in Chicag–”

“Not from the fair though,” you interrupted. “They’re better from the fair.”

“Point taken,” Eddie said with a chuckle, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

“I do still want to jump in a creek though,” you said wistfully.

“Gross, no. There are leeches,” Nancy said.

“Not in creeks,” Eddie laughed. “Ponds, maybe. But creeks are fine.”

And so the evening wound down. You and Eddie went back and forth over the virtues of city vs country living, but Eddie had to admit, you did have a way of making Hawkins sound pretty great. When it was time to part ways, Eddie desperately wanted to kiss you, so much that his lips nearly burned from the need, but he refrained. What would a girl like you ever see in a guy like him?

Two days later, on a late Sunday morning, where the summer sun shone relentlessly through a bluebird sky, Eddie picked up the phone and dialed the Wheeler’s number with a shaking hand.

Mike answered, sounding like he just woke up.

“Mehllo?” he mumbled by way of answer.

“Mike! It’s Eddie.”

“Munson?!” that seemed to wake him up. “Dude! It’s been forever!”

“Yeah man! How are you doing?”

“Oh things are good, I’m going off to college next month, and–”

“Is your cousin around? Ivy?” Eddie blurted anxiously, covering his face in embarrassment over the way he must have sounded. “Sorry man, it’s just that I need to ask her something. I would love to catch up with you though! Before you head to school; we should get together.”

“Yeah definitely,” Mike responded, unbothered. "We’ll catch up. I’ll go get Ivy….” 

Eddie heard the handset thump against whatever surface Mike set it upon, and heard him call your name. He faintly heard your voice respond, which made Eddie’s already hammering heart pick up its pace. More fumbling noises ended with a slightly breathless, “Hello? Eddie?”

“Hi Ivy,” he replied, and you thought maybe you could hear a smile in his voice. “Wanna go jump in a creek?”

Your summertime in Hawkins was coming to a close; in only a few days’ time you were due to return to Chicago and university. As the final days ticked away, a ball of sadness gradually grew in the pit of your stomach. It was the best summer ever, and you were sorry to see its end.

Since the night you met him at the fair, Eddie had taken you cliff jumping into the Bear Creek, something that simultaneously terrified and thrilled you, leaving you more exhilarated than you have felt in a long while. But when you weren’t jumping, you simply floated in the water, watching the dappled sun dance across its surface, loving life.

Eddie also took you to the drive-in theater. It wasn’t a date, since he didn’t technically ask you out like that, and Nancy and Mike also insisted on tagging along. You lined camping chairs up in front of the van and rolled down the windows with the sound up loud so you could all sit together. It was a lovely, balmy night of watching Total Recall, and you ate too many skittles while swatting mosquitoes. It was perfect.

And now summer was ending and it was time to go, and you couldn’t possibly want to return to Chicago less. Why did you have to meet Eddie now?

You sighed as you packed up your things, folding clothes and setting them in your suitcase slowly, unmotivated. Nancy perched on the side of your bed, watching.

“You seem really bummed out,” Nancy remarked.

“I guess I’m not looking forward to going home. I wish I could stay a bit longer.” you replied, not bothering to hide your low mood.

“Would this have anything to do with a certain long-haired boy that lives on the other side of town?” Nancy prodded. It’s not like you were hiding anything.

“That obvious? And he’s twenty-four, he’s not a boy.”

Nancy nodded, with a giggle. “Fair enough.”

“And…maybe. I don’t know. It’s not like he’s kissed me or asked me out properly....” You stalled your packing, and you folded and unfolded the same sweater over and over while you let your thoughts wander.

“But you want him to?” Nancy prodded gently after a moment.

You sighed. “Yeah, I do. It’s kind of all I can think about actually,” you added with a wistful chuckle.  “But what’s the point when I live all the way in Chicago the other nine months of the year?” You flopped down dramatically on the bed with a huff.

“Maybe you can talk on the phone and stuff throughout the year, and pick up where you left off next summer?”

“Long distance?” You allowed a glimmer of hope to creep in. “Do you think that could work?”

Nancy shrugged. “I did it with Jonathan when he moved to California. It’s not easy, but it can work.”

You hitched a deep sigh. “What if he doesn’t want to?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Nancy replied.

The sky was overcast as you loaded the last of your bags into the back of the Wheeler’s car, matching your mood. You hugged Mike and Karen goodbye; Ted and Nancy were going to ride with you to the train station. You scanned the empty suburban streets for Eddie, but he was nowhere to be seen, causing your heart to sink even lower.

Just as you were about to climb into the backseat, you heard a sound that pulled your attention toward the woods at the edge of the neighborhood. There was some rustling and you saw that the flora was jostling about. What the–

Eddie suddenly materialized from the trees, calling, “Wait!” as he trotted over toward you. Your heart reversed its previous downward trajectory with haste, and happiness soared through you so abruptly and completely that you thought you might fall over.

“I cut through the woods,” Eddie stated breathlessly. “I was afraid I wouldn’t make it.”

“Just in time,” you grinned.

Ted poked his head out of the car’s driver window. “We’re going to be late if we don’t get going.”

“Oh– Okay, I won’t take long,” Eddie stammered slightly.  “I just wanted to say good bye and ask you…is it okay if I call you?”

You struggled to contain your delight at the suggestion. “Yes Eddie, I would really love that.” You pulled a small notepad from your purse, jotted your number down, and tore the scrap of paper out before handing it over. “Don’t lose this.”

Eddie had the fleeting thought that he would have your digits tattooed on his flesh to ensure their permanence. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Ted honked the horn, even though you were all standing right there.

“Okay, well I have to go. Call me tomorrow?”

Eddie nodded, his throat suddenly gone dry. “I will.”

As you sat down and closed the car door behind you, Ted wasted no time pulling away.  You twisted around in the seat to watch Eddie grow smaller as the distance increased. He raised a hand and waved shortly before you went around a bend, causing you to lose sight of him.

The temporary high of seeing Eddie was quickly supplanted by sadness. It was going to be a very long wait for next summer.

June 1991

Once you were clear of the train platform, your rolling suitcase and duffle bag appropriately situated, you bolted through the crowd as quickly as possible.

Nine long months you waited. Nine months of speaking on the phone for hours nearly every night, talking about everything, watching movies together, helping Eddie write his next D&D campaign, discussing books. You shared hopes, dreams, wishes, and desires. Nine months of longing. Nine months of imagining his lips on yours, his fingers gripping the meat of your thighs, picturing him doing things to you that you’d never done with anyone before. You were tired of waiting.

You never officially declared yourselves to each other, still hadn’t even kissed, so you couldn’t be completely sure that he felt the same way. But you had a pretty good idea; after all, would a guy spend that much time on the phone with you if he didn’t feel some kind of way? He said he was going to pick you up at the train station after all, so that had to count for something.

You were determined. Eddie would not slip through your fingers; this summer was going to change everything.

And there he was. As you entered the terminal with the other passengers, you spotted him immediately.  He was leaning up against the wall, torn tight jeans and black band tee, long chestnut curls cascading around his shoulders. He was beautiful. 

The way his face lit up when he spotted you could probably heal the world, if you could find a way to harness it. 

You let your bags drop to the ground as you ran to him, and he opened his arms to you as you collided with him, slamming him back against the wall. His arms slid up around your back and gripped you tightly, his breath fanned across one ear, setting all your senses alight, and you simply resided in his embrace and felt the object of your affection absolutely envelop you. Oh how you had waited for this.

You pulled away just enough to look at his face. He was undeniably very happy, eyes bright, smiling broadly, his dimple making itself known.

“Hey you,” he said.

“Hi you,” you replied.

“I’ve missed you,” he said softly.

“I've been counting the minutes,” you said. You thought maybe you were going to cry.

“Try seconds,” he whispered, opening his eyes wide as if he was revealing a scandalous secret. 

The rest of the bustling train station faded away. The voices and echoes were reduced to a muffled din, and all the people who hastened past you became less corporeal. As your eyes roamed his face, it felt like you were the only two people in the world.

He blinked and pulled away, and as soon as it started, the spell was broken.

He hastened over to your bags and grabbed hold of them, slinging your duffel over his shoulder and taking your rollbag in one hand. “Let’s go,” he said with a look over his shoulder, his hair bouncing as he hurried through the terminal with you in tow.  He slowed as he approached the doors to outside. “Uh, I’ll take you to the Wheeler’s to settle in, but I wondered…” He paused, his expression belying his own lack of confidence. He looked almost shy.  “I got an apartment about a month back, finally…a space of my own,” he continued. “I wondered if maybe you wanted to watch a movie later?”

“Eddie!” you breathed, excited. “That’s so great! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” he said with a small shrug. “No pressure, if you don’t want to. I just wanted to put it out there, no strings attached.”

“I would love to,” you beamed. 

“Do you want to know what movie I picked out?” Eddie asked.

“I really don’t care,” you replied, and you laughed together as you walked to the parking lot.

You waited anxiously for Eddie’s arrival later that evening.

“It’s a daaaate!” Mike sang as if he was still fourteen and not a freshman in college. Nancy slapped him on the arm.

“Don’t tease,” she admonished, but there was a twinkle in her eye.

“It is not a date!” you countered as you checked your reflection for the thousandth time. “Doesn’t someone have to say it’s a date for it to actually be a date?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Some things are just sort of….assumed.”

You and Nancy glared at him in tandem. “Uh, no thank you. Nobody should make assumptions about anything like that,” Nancy scolded.

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah I mean, what if he just thinks I’m a great friend, and I go and spoil everything going in there thinking this is a date?”

Mike gestured toward you as you touched up your lip gloss. “Says the chick who has been fussing over her appearance obsessively for the last 45 minutes.”

“I’m just being prepared,” you said.

“For what?” Nancy said with a chuckle.

“Just in case it is a date. I never said I didn’t want it to be.”

Nancy laughed as Mike groaned in exasperation. Fortunately, you were saved from further discussion by the doorbell. You ran from the room before anyone could stop you, grabbing your shoulder bag on the way. 

You opened the door and revealed a slightly nervous looking Eddie, and he nearly stole your breath away.

Eddie was resplendent in a blue and black plaid button-up shirt with his black jeans and black converse sneakers. He had clearly made an effort to tame his hair, and his waves were soft and tidy. His breath caught when he saw you.

“H– hi,” he said with a grin.

“Hi yourself,” you said. You chanced a look over your shoulder, fearful of an audience. “Okay let’s go before Mike and Nancy get weird and interrogate us,” you said, grabbing Eddie by the hand and making him laugh while shutting the door behind you.  Eddie held his van door open for you before walking around the other side and starting up the engine. Was that aftershave he was wearing?

Butterflies exploded in your chest. Oh my god, this is a date, you thought to yourself elatedly.

Eddie’s place was nice, simple, and clean. He didn’t have much in the way of furniture or decor yet, but he had the basics, and it was all his.

You were halfway through Goodfellas– which was really good– and sipping on bud light bottles on opposite ends of the couch.  You were sitting with your legs curled underneath you, your left foot sticking out along the couch cushion.  Eddie reached over and gently laid a hand on your ankle, pulling your attention away from the film.

“I’m gonna grab another beer. You want anything?”

“Sure, you want me to pause it?”

“Nah, I’ve seen this twice already,” he said as he headed to the kitchen.

“Eddie!” you said, smiling. “Why didn’t you rent something you’ve never seen?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he called. “I love this movie.”

You picked up the remote and paused the film anyway.

“But it just came out on VHS!” you said, laughing. "How have you seen it multiple times already?"

He returned with two freshly opened beers and handed one to you. He sat down again, a little closer this time.

“What– you don’t watch movies over and over again every chance you get? Is that…like….not normal or something?” He smirked at his own sarcasm.

“Not that quickly I’m afraid,” you said, and he laughed out loud. 

“I guess I’m a bit of a fixator,” he said. “I fixate on things.”

“I suppose we all have things we fixate on,” you said.

“What do you fixate on?” He asked. He was leaning slightly in your direction. It made your heart speed up a little bit.

“Well lately,” you said, drawing out your syllables and pretending to think really hard about it. “Lately it’s been this guy.”

“Oooh,” Eddie said. “Tell me more.”

“Well, he looks a little rough around the edges, but it turns out that he’s the sweetest.”

“He is?” Eddie played along.

“Oh yes. And he has the biggest, most soulful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s like he’s always seeing the world in new and interesting ways. And don’t get me started on his lips…”

“What about his lips?” Eddie asked.

“They’re so full and plump, like fruit, and I want to nibble on them.”

Eddie huffed a small laugh. “You want to nibble on his lips?”

“Among other things,” you said, a little breathily.

As your eyes flicked down to his lips, he licked them unconsciously, and you knew everything was about to change.

Eddie leaned forward, closing the distance between you, and he raised his right hand to cup the back of your head, pulling you forward. You felt his breath fan across your cheek as he rubbed his nose against yours.

“What other things did you have in mind?” he murmured.

“I want him,” you said simply. “But I don’t know how he feels.”

“Hmm,” Eddie cooed. “I think it’s safe to say he wants you too.”

“He does?”

“Oh yes,” he breathed, and then he kissed you.

Your breathing hitched– it was finally happening.

You enjoyed the simple feeling of his beautiful lips against yours for a moment before you parted your lips to deepen the kiss. You slotted his bottom lip between your teeth and applied gentle pressure. Eddie’s quiet gasp did things to you.

You chuckled, and rose up on your knees before pressing your body firmly against his, the movie now forgotten.

Eddie broke away, beaming. “I thought you probably felt the same way, but I wasn’t sure, and I was afraid to make a move and fuck it all up–”

“Shut up and keep kissing me,” you said.

He did as he was told. He also dialed up the passion, and you kissed each other hungrily, pouring nine months of longing into your efforts. Your tongues danced together, your hands roamed the expanse of his back, and you slid one hand up and under his shirt to feel his flesh.

Eddie gasped at your touch, and pulled away. His pupils were blown wide from the excitement, and you imagined that yours might look the same. He cupped the side of your face in his hands, boring his eyes into yours.

“Are we together? Are you mine?” he asked, and your heart broke and soared with equal measure at the sheer sweet earnestness of him.

“Yes, Eddie,” was all you could muster before he was kissing you again. He tipped you back and gently laid you down across the sofa, allowing his hand to travel up the length of your torso, keeping things chaste, but only barely.

You laid together and kissed deeply for a time, until you decided you’d had enough.

“Eddie,” you said.  “T– take me to bed.” 

“Are you sure? That’s really what you want?”

You nodded, but you couldn’t hide your nerves, and he gently pinched your chin to tilt your head up. “You seem anxious,” he said softly.

“Well, I – I haven’t actually done it before.” 

Eddie’s eyes widened slightly.

“I’ve done some stuff, a little hand stuff mostly, but never, uh– it. Sex. I’ve never had sex.”

Eddie smiled affectionately at your display of nerves. “Relax, babe. It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready to do.”

“But I am ready,” you said, more assuredly.  “I really want to do this with you. I want you to be my first.”

Eddie searched your face for any further signs of nervousness or unease, but all he saw in your eyes now was conviction and honestly. You reached up a hand and laid it on his cheek.

“Nine months I’ve waited for this. I knew a long time ago that you were the one, Eddie. I’ve waited long enough.’

Eddie nodded. “Okay,” he said softly.

He moved to stand and gently scooped you up in his arms, making you giggle, and he carried you over to the bedroom. He kicked the door open with his foot, making you laugh some more, and laid you on his bed, which was clean if unmade. He leaned down and braced himself on either side of your body to kiss you.

“If you want me to stop, just tell me,” he said between kisses, and then stood back up to pull his shirt over his head. He did it in one fluid motion, letting his soft curls dance across his shoulders and back, and he was a sight to behold. You’d seen him with no shirt on last summer when he took you swimming, but somehow this was different.

“May I?” he asked, and paused with his fingers above the fly of your denim shorts. You nodded, and let Eddie loosen the buttons before pulling your shorts down along your legs and tossing them aside.

You smiled up at him as he loosened his own jeans and pushed them down before stepping out of them, leaving him clad in nothing but his boxers. He returned to the bed and laid next to you, gently trailing one palm up your body and pushing up your shirt, resting it at the bottom of your ribcage just below the underwire of your bra. Eddie resumed kissing you; it was something you were quite sure you would never tire of. He was amazing.

After a beat he pulled away to look down at you. “I need to get you ready,” he said softly. “I don’t want it to hurt.”

“Okay Eddie,” you replied.  He pulled your shirt over your head gently, and then moved one hand to your back to unclasp your bra. 

“You seem to have some experience with this,” you said, feeling a stab of self-consciousness.

Eddie paused. “A little. I’m not a virgin, but I’m hardly a Casanova or anything…”

“It’s okay, I don’t need to know.” you looked away. 

Eddie was not pleased with the loss of eye-contact, and he could sense your discomfort. 

“Hey,” he said softly, turning your face to his. “It’s only been a couple different girls. I really haven’t had much action for a guy my age, trust me. And nothing serious, ever.” He kissed your forehead. “You’re special. I want this– I want it to be special.”

You relaxed and smiled. “Honestly, I’m fine.”

“You’re sure?”

“Completely.”

“Okay then.”

He pulled your loosened bra off, leaving you in only your knickers. “If you want me to stop, just tell me.”

Your answering smile was cut short as he bent and placed a kiss on your nipple. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, before he sucked the little bud between his lips, setting all your senses alight. 

“Oh–that feels nice.” you sighed.

As Eddie suckled you, he slowly trailed his hand down the length of your torso, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He paused at the elastic of your underwear, slipping one finger just under the thin white band, but continued no further. 

“You can– ah– you can touch me Eddie,” you managed between gasps.

With no further preamble, he slowly slid his hand into the delicate cotton, and his fingers found your heat. He removed his mouth from your nipple, leaving it feeling cool and bereft, before kissing you lasciviously as he slowly pushed a finger inside of you. You gasped, but as quickly as he had entered, he was gone again. He dipped in smoothly a second time, but then turned his attention to your clit, applying gentle pressure and circling it with his moistened finger.

You arched your back and moaned at the sensation. Your senses were heightened, your heart was racing, and you couldn’t believe that you were here, with Eddie, after all this time. You were delighted; you’d waited so long for this, and you were going to enjoy it.

Eddie slowly picked up the pace and pressure of his ministrations. You felt as if all the blood in your body was rushing to the space between your legs, and your body began to tremble. It felt good– damn good. You could hear the wet sounds of your arousal as his fingers picked up speed, and then, without warning, he slid one back inside of you. You moaned as he pumped you with one finger, sliding out, stroking the sensitive button of nerves, pushing back in. You were teetering on the edge of climax when, suddenly, he stopped. 

“Wha–” you said blearily, as Eddie padded over to his nightstand. 

“I’m just grabbing a rubber babe,” Eddie smiled, as he pulled open the drawer and held up a foil square.

“Ah, right.”

“Just want to be careful, ya know?” 

“Of course.”

Eddie paused to look at you, his face painted with adoration and concern. “You sure you’re still okay with this?”

You nodded emphatically. “Yeah, yes.”

Eddie looked angelic. Flushed with desire, his hair slightly mussed, lips reddened from kissing, his boxers tented by his arousal. He walked around the bed to stand at the end, and he gently pulled your underwear off, leaving you fully exposed for the first time. You had to fight to resist the urge to curl into yourself protectively. You weren’t the only naked one for long, however, as Eddie pushed his boxers down, and you were able to see all of him for the first time.

He was beautiful. He was perfect.

He deftly rolled the rubber along his length before he laid down next to you, and let his fingers return to your heat. He leaned down and kissed your neck while he worked you open, this time with two fingers. He slid them inside as he kissed your lips and licked into your mouth, and then he gently climbed on top, allowing you to rest your calves around his hips.

You felt his tip prod your entrance.

“Are you ready?” he breathed into your ear.

“Yes,” you said, and he captured your earlobe with his teeth as he slowly started to push in.

“Ah– fuck,” you cried softly. It felt like white fire had ignited where you were joined and traveled up your body, settling behind your eyes, and a kaleidoscope of sparks clouded your vision. You squeezed your eyes shut and ground your teeth together as you moaned through the sensation. It hurt, but it was a sort of pain you’d never felt before.

“God, babe,” Eddie gasped as another shallow, gentle thrust pulled him deeper. “This okay?”

It wasn’t okay exactly, it stung like hell, but it was okay because this was Eddie, and there was nobody else on the planet you were willing to experience this with.

“Uhhuh, yeah,” you panted. “I’m okay.”

Eddie sat back on his heels and grasped your thighs with his hands, pulling you flush against him and seating himself fully inside of you. His eyes met yours and he smiled at you adoringly as he began to move.

You moaned in sweet agony as each thrust ignited new fires within you, but before you realized what was happening, the pain began to give way to intense pleasure. Your gasps of pain grew to cries of ecstasy, and Eddie could feel you yield to him, could feel the resistance temper, and he delighted in watching the change come over you. White fire was replaced by pure bliss.

He lifted your legs to rest your ankles on his shoulders, and picked up his pace. 

Eddie hugged your legs to his chest as he pumped, every thrust hitting deep, the mingled gasps and cries of your lovemaking growing in volume and timbre. You reached out a hand to touch his chest, but he was too far away. Eddie noticed this, and he released your legs to lean forward, bracing himself with his hands on either side of your shoulders, and he kissed you. It was damn hot, the passion of it all, making out so intensely that your teeth clattered together as he fucked you, all of your senses heightened and electrified.

You scratched at his back as your felt your climax building, causing his own pace to falter. Your cries of delight as you came caused his own orgasm to crash into him suddenly, and you both moaned as you rode it out together.

And then all was still.

You breathed together as you came down from the intense sensations you had just experienced, and you could feel Eddie’s heart beating in its cage, his chest pressed against yours. He could feel yours too.

After a moment, he got up, discarded the used condom, and slipped on his boxers, smiling down at your prone, naked body as he did so. “Was that okay? It didn’t hurt too much?”

You thought for a second. “It did hurt at first, that probably can’t be helped. But after a little while, it felt really good. Was I– was I any good?”

Eddie beamed. “Oh babe. You don’t have to ever worry about that. It was incredible.”  He headed to the bathroom, and returned shortly with a damp washcloth. He sat beside you and gently tended to your sore, sensitive area. The cool terrycloth was soothing, and he peppered your face with kisses, making you giggle. He tossed the washcloth aside and laid down with you, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close.

“Do you want to stay here with me? You can, if you want,” Eddie murmured into your hair. He sounded sleepy.

“Eddie, I want to be wherever you are,” you replied. You were feeling quite drowsy yourself.

“I don’t want the Wheelers to think I kidnapped you,” he said with a small chuckle.

“They know where I am, and we’re all adults, so I’m staying put.”

Eddie grinned. You had no way of knowing what was happening in his heart, but he wished he could transfer part of his joy to you, so you could feel even a fraction of his elation.

Eddie had no way of knowing that you were feeling exactly the same way. He also had no way of knowing that you were planning to transfer to Indiana State in the fall. In time, you would share your hearts fully with each other, but for the moment, you enjoyed just laying in his arms, and drifting off into blissful slumber.

Together. ♥

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MASTERLIST

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Wolf Chan | Bang Chan

Pairing: Werewolf!Bang Chan x Reader. 

Request: No.

Synopsis: Y/N's suspicions are confirmed on a Halloween night. 

Warnings: Werewolves, fear, wounds, my poor attempt at scary. Fluffy ending. Repost from my now deactivated account.

Word Count: 1,093 

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©️ No one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my fics on here or any other site. Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

"Hey baby," Y/N speaks into her phone as she's greeted by her boyfriend's voicemail for the third time. When he doesn't answer his phone, she becomes concerned and decides to leave a message this time. It wasn't normal for Chan miss her calls, and if he did, he would call her as soon as he could. "Call me as soon as you get this, okay? I'm beginning to worry."  

After ending the call, she checks her text messages before sending a text to Changbin and Han asking if Chan was still with them. They are the two who were likely to be know of what was going on since he spends most of the day with them. They both reply to the text right away, stating they haven't seen him since they took a lunch break.  

Y/N circles back and begins walking towards Chan's apartment building. She is more worried than ever. Being a bit of a workaholic, Chan wouldn't just leave the studio without notifying anybody, especially those who are closest to him.   

Her worry quickly turns to terror as she reaches his apartment and sees that the door is wide open and barely hanging on its hinges. A wolf's cry can be heard out in the distance, sending a shiver down her spine.  

As she goes Chan's apartment, the sky open’s and it starts pouring rain, far in the distance the rumbling of thunder could be heard, adding to the fear she’s already experiencing. Gripping the strap of her shoulder bag tightly, her heart pounding against her chest, she steps through the doorway, crossing the threshold into his apartment.  

 "Channie?" She calls out to him in the pitch-darkness, but her voice comes out weaker and quieter than she expected.  

She finds the light switch and flicks it on. She gasps and jumps as the bulb momentarily flickers before shattering into a million pieces, leaving her once again in darkness. The only light came from the full moon faintly illuminating the living area. Her heart is pounding against her chest so loudly that she can hear it with her own ears. While remaining in place, she clumsily pulls her phone from her bag and drops it on the ground. She picks it up with trembling hands and hastily makes another call to Chan.  

The sound of Chan's phone ringing causes her to look around in fear. It's another strange element of the situation. In the same way that his laptop is an extension of him, Chan never leaves his home without his phone.    

She drops her phone and screams aloud as a huge bang comes from behind her. She turns on her heal and sees Bang Chan, half naked, covered in blood, with enormous, jagged wounds that look like claws larger than a bear have torn through his flesh and appearing to be on the cusp of death's door. Her fear turns to panic as he slumps to the ground and passes out.  

“Chan!” she shouts as she rushes towards him and tries to get him to wake up. “Chris! Christopher!”  

When he doesn’t budge or stir, she moves to check his wounds. Seeing how deep they are, she hurries into the bathroom to find the first aid kit he keeps in there. Finding it under the sink, she grabs it hurries back to the kitchen.   

Arriving back in the kitchen, she’s startled to find Chan missing. Fear creeping back into her veins, she looks around to see where he could have gone. In the dark room it was hard to see where he could be.  

“Bang Chan?” she questions, her voice meek.  

“What are you doing here?” She hears him ask, voice raspy and weak. The pain he’s in is evident in his tone.  

“I’m worried about you,” she answers, looking in the direction his voice came from, but she can’t see a thing until a flash of lightening illuminates the apartment for less than a second. She finds his form leaning against the wall in the living room, slightly hunched over and shivering. “You never came for dinner, you weren’t answering your calls, and no one has seen you since midday.”  

“Something came up,” he tells her. “You need to leave, now.”  

“Let me help you,” she says going to take a step forward only for him to yell at her to stop.  

“Go home, Y/N,” He continues to shout at her, his tone loud and booming over the pouring rain, shocking her. He’s never raised his voice like that at her before.   

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay,” she tells him, her voice calm and assertive.   

“I’m fine.”  

“No, you're not.” she argues, and moves towards him.   

Giving in, he allows her to help him into his bedroom. She switches on the light as the enter the room and places him on the bed. After getting a better look at his wounds and ignoring all of Chan’s protests, she heads back into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit she dropped.   

Walking back into the bedroom, she finds Chan missing again. Hearing the running water coming from the bathroom, she walks into the room finding Chan with a damp cloth, wiping the blood from his skin. There are no more wounds littering his perfect body. The only sign of there any, is the blood that now stained the cloth he’s using and the pink water in the sink.  

“When were you going to tell me that you’re a werewolf?” she asks leaning on the bathroom door frame, watching him.   

“I was hoping, never,” he answers honestly. “But that would be impossible. How did you figure it out?”   

“I got suspicious when you would only spend the whole night at the studios when there was a full moon,” she tells him. “Leading up to the full moon, you’re always on edge and a lot snappier and more aggressive. It’s also like you're in heat leading up to it as well.”   

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and you had to figure it out on your own,” he apologizes unplugging the sink, letting the pink stained water swirl down the drain.  

“Promise me, you’ll let me help you from now on and that we’re in this together,” she asks. “I love you and don’t want to lose you.”  

“I promise,” he answers, moving closer to her, bringing her into his arms. “But as soon as I tell you to leave, you leave. I don’t want to hurt her or worse.”  

She nods and pulls him into a kiss. 

©️ No one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my fics on here or any other site. Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 

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[shinybearnerd]

"Notes of Chaos"

Hi everybody!

Since Good Omens season 2 is almost here, I wanted to share some of my ff with you.

The pairing is not between Crowley and Aziraphale, even tho there may be one of them in the future. They are so cute together and I ship them, but I think I'm not that good at capturing their ineffable love. Idk, I hope it makes sense...

This is my first time publishing a smut ff. I'm a little nervous lmao.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Let me know if that's the case!

Pair: Crowley x Gn!reader

Words: 2,6k

Genre: Fluff, smut +18

Story: After the Armageddon, Crowley has been kicked out of his apartment and now he's living in his Bentley. You and Crowley are good friends, so you propose he stays at your place for the moment. He accepts, even tho he's reluctant. Days pass and you and the demon are coming to get closed and closed until one night, at a party...

-Engish is not my first language. So I'm sorry if there are any mistakes-

Every person that has known y/n would describe them as someone that has an infectious smile and bright eyes that light up even at the littlest thing.

They had always been fascinated by the idea of supernatural creatures, and as soon as they learned that Crowley was a demon, they were drawn to him in a strange and intriguing way. Despite their human nature, y/n was open-minded enough to accept Crowley for who he was.

Ever since the demon had entered their life, they had discovered an unexpected complicity with him.

After weeks of living together, Crowley had become accustomed to y/n's company and their eccentricity. Though at first, he'd been reluctant to accept their offer of hospitality, he'd gradually come to trust them and realized that he couldn't have found a better person, apart from Aziraphale of course, to share time with than them.

One evening, Y/n enthusiastically approached Crowley while he was immersed in one of the many blogs about plants that the demon followed. <<Hey, some friends are planning a party this night. Five minutes from here. Would you like to come with me? >> asked, trying to hide the excitement.

Crowley lifted his eyes from the phone and looked at Y/n, considering their proposal. Initially, the prospect of a party didn't seem very appealing to the demon, who preferred to spend the evenings alone or with a few people he felt comfortable with. But then, a thought crossed his mind: perhaps, this would be an opportunity to get closer to them.

After a short pause, Crowley nodded. <<Yeah, sure. It'll be fun.>> Y/n eyes immediately lightened up as they embraced him enthusiastically. <<Crowley, you'll love them! And I'm sure they'll love you too!>>

In the evening, the two walked towards the meeting place. Crowley followed Y/n. As they passed through the neighbourhood, the lights of the adjacent houses cast a welcoming atmosphere on the whole street.

When they reached their destination, the music and the sound of laughter greeted them. The party was on an elegant terrace, above a very chich club, with upbeat music and some people already laughing and dancing.

Crowley noticed that Y/n was like a fish in water, in the midst of people, while he preferred to remain cold. Still, Y/n's presence offered him a sense of comfort he'd never experienced before.

<<Come, Crowley, I want you to meet my people!>> They insisted, gently taking his arm and leading him.

The demon found himself in a various circle of people: there were artists, musicians and people with eccentric clothing.

And if before he felt out of place, at that moment he felt at home.

He left himself carried away by the festive atmosphere and found himself laughing and joking with guests who weren't Luna or her friends. Maybe it was the alcohol. Yes, it was definitely the alcohol.

As the evening wore on, Crowley realized how gorgerous and charming Y/n looked as they danced lightly. He was beginning to love the way their eyes sparkled with a particular light when they talked about something that fascinated them or when they talked to their friends… The way their nose crunched when smiling or laughing…

The hours passed, and the party continued in its fervency.

Crowley and Y/n found themselves sitting against the railing of the parapet. The bright colour of the lights created a magical and intimate atmosphere in some way.

There was no need to talk much. They seemed to understand each other even without many words. <<Crowley>> Y/n said, placing their hand lightly on his. <<Thank you for coming with me tonight. It's nice to have you here.>> The demon smiled. A sweet one that he rarely showed to others. <<Yes. I'm happy too. It was a... pleasant evening.>>

They were smiling at each other when suddenly the DJ spoke, telling everybody that the night was almost ending and that he was putting on the last songs.

Immediately, Y/n took Crowley by the arm, dragging him into the dance floor. The demon didn't know whether to feel bothered or amused by their gesture. He chose the second option.

The music was loud, but that didn't seem to bother Y/N, who danced carefree and sensually, as if there was no one around them.

Crowley found himself mesmerized by their presence. His ancient and mischievous soul recognized Y/n's attraction and excitement, and the thought made him smile. He even thought that they would have been a heaven of a demon.

He let himself go to the music, allowing Y/n to lead him on an intoxicating experience.

The evening had revealed a side of them that Crowley had never seen before: a wild and charming person, capable of awakening new sensations in him.

With an amused smile, Crowley followed Y/n's movements, letting the music surround them both. He no longer cared about the outside world or his worries. The only thought that mattered to him was sharing that moment with them.

At one point, they moved even closer to Crowley, their bodies almost touching. The heat and electricity between them seemed to increase. It wasn't just the music that moved them, but a mutual attraction that was growing more and more.

In a playful tone, Y/n whispered in Crowley's ear over the noise of the music. <<You know... we could wreak some havoc together! That would be fun.>>

Crowley smiled, realizing that they were playing with him, but at the same time seeing a small spark of truth in their suggestion.

<<We could, but you know, I've spent millennia wreaking it… Maybe I need a break, gorgeous.>> he replied winking behind his black glasses.

Y/n laughed, looking down as they resumed letting the music wrap around them. Trying to hide their blushed cheeks.

Something in hearing their laughter snapped in him and, without them realizing it, the demon slipped behind, grabbing them with one hand, which he held on their stomach, and pulling Y/n towards himself, continuing to dance.

Although Y/n seemed to never stop laughing, they felt their breath short for a few seconds. Crowley's touch made them shiver, but not in the way they expected. It was an electrifying sensation, a combination of awe and pleasure.

They turned to him, meeting his leering gaze, and their heart started pounding even faster. <<Crowley.>> they whispered, almost out of breath. The demon answered them with a knowing smile, moving closer. << Sounds to me like you need some guidance, Y/n. I can help you with the pacing if you like.>>

Y/n smiled. And immediately after they let themself be completely caught up in Crowley's grip. They felt his strong, warm hands on their skin as his rhythm joined in an intense, sensual dance. The heartbeat quickened the breathing of both mixed.

As they danced together, Y/n felt the heat of Crowley's body against theirs, a magnetic energy that seemed to grow stronger and stronger. It was as if their souls touched, opening the door to a deep and mysterious understanding. The more they danced, the more Crowley closed them, letting themselves be overwhelmed by their aphrodisiac smell; the more Y/n grinded and danced against Crowley. There were no words, just the music enveloping them, and their emotions melding together.

Y/n felt like they were in a trance, fascinated by the way the demon treated them. His touch was electrifying and everything they needed in their life.

Crowley, on the other hand, was surprised about how Y/n could push his emotions so high. In every movement, in every touch, he felt the pull of their power, humanity and irresistible energy. He had gotten used to being cold and calculating, but with Y/n, everything seemed different.

They continued to dance, letting themselves be guided by the music and the intensity of the moment, until they felt the demon's crotch behind them, letting out a sigh of pleasure. Which didn't go unnoticed by the demon, who gripped them closer. He leaned closer to them, leaning into Y/n's ear, grinding more. He spoke with a husky and amused whisper. <<Do you like dancing with me, my dear? >> Y/n moaned softly. << Yes...>>

Crowley's hands trailed up Y/n's hips as his sensual movements made them feel alive like never before. It was as if the whole universe was concentrated at that moment. The demon's hands squeezed them tighter, their bodies moving in unison. The dance floor felt like their kingdom, where they could express themselves without fear or judgment.

The music surrounded them more, leading them into a whirlwind of emotions and desire. Every movement, every touch, was filled with passion and mystery. Suddenly, it stopped. But, even though the song ended, the connection between the demon and the human was still strong.

They stopped to stare into each other's eyes, not saying a word. The short breaths were due to the movement and desire they felt towards each other. Crowley was breathing heavily too, looking at them through his glasses with an impenetrable gaze.

<<Follow me. >> he ordered, breaking the silence.

Y/n didn't have to hear it again. They let the demon grab their wrist and followed him, slipping through the crowd that had resumed dancing.

As soon as they got out, Crowley pushed Y/n against the nearest wall, approaching them with an intense expression in his eyes. Their lips met passionately, hungry for each other. Each kiss was a promise of pleasure and togetherness.

As Crowley brushed his hands against Y/n's skin, the contact ignited a fire that spread throughout their bodies. They felt the heat emanating from the demon, an intense and overwhelming feeling that made them want him even more.

Y/n's hands hooked on the collar of Crowley's jacket, pulling him closer. They could feel the hardness of his muscles against their body, and the energy emanating from him made them shiver with excitement.

Their breaths mingled, quickened by the desire that burned them from within. There was no more room for inhibitions, just the will to indulge in an uncontrollable passion.

As the kiss deepened and deepened, Crowley moved his hands over the curves of Y/n's body, exploring them with desire and reverence. His fingers traced lines down their back, leaving a trail of fire on their sensitive skin.

Y/n moaned in pleasure, responding to Crowley's touches with smooth movements of their body. It was as if they were in perfect harmony, dancing to an ancient tune of passion and desire.

The pressure of the demon's body against theirs intensified, and Y/n could feel their arousal spreading now. It was an explosion of sensations, a shiver that shot through their spines and spread through their entire being.

As the kiss broke off, leaving a line of saliva that united them, their gazes met once again. There was a promise of lust and affection in those golden eyes. An intensity that made their heart beat even faster. <<Crowley...>> whispered Y/n, their voice full of desire. The demon smiled at them. A smile full of mischief and affection that only they could see. Y/n bit their lower lip, their body vibrating with a desire that was impossible to ignore. <<Crowley, please... Fuck me.>>

Without saying a word, Crowley took Y/n's face in their hands and kissed them again hard and passionately. It was as if they were two souls on fire, consuming each other. Crowley's hands moved impatiently, exploring Y/n's body with uncontrollable hunger, starting to free both of the encumbrances of pants/and dresses.

Their breathing was irregular, their moans mixing in the night air with the muffled noise of distant music. It was a symphony of desire, a crescendo of sensations that carried them higher and higher.

The demon picked them up, pressing them against the wall, and Y/n wrapped their legs around him, welcoming him. Crowley began to playfully rub his hard erection against Y/n's core, who moaned impatiently. A sly smile was on his lips. <<Crowley... please!>> <<You know what to do, sweet cheecks.>> replied grinding harder against them. Y/n tightened their grip on the shoulders of the demon, who watched them in amusement. <<Crowley-… fuck. Please, fuck me hard. Ruin me! Ruin other people for me. >> With a sudden movement, Crowley thrust all of him hard, causing them to let out a strangled cry of pleasure. <<Fuck. You're so deliciously tight! ...Can I move?>> <<I'll kill you if you don't!>>

Their bodies moved in unison, dancing in a timeless, erotic choreography. Each movement was a promise of pleasure, a celebration of the intense connection between them. The more the demon moved, the more the human felt they were about to come.

As Crowley's trusts quickened, Y/n understand that he was close too. They could hear him gasping and grunting in pleasure, feeling Y/n's core squeezing him just in the right way. He tilted his head backwards, moaning and grunting into the free air as he had his way with Y/n.

<<Oh, my- fucking god! Yes, baby! Just like that!>> The blasphemy and the tone of their voice were his last straw. His movement quickened more, while his pushes became harder.

They soon came together: Crowley feeling his cock sweetly being milked by his lover's soft walls, and Y/n feeling his warm seed coating and filling them.

With their bodies still vibrating with passion, Y/n and Crowley remained embraced against the wall, wrapped up in each other and seeking the breath and the sweetness in each other's embrace. Their skins touched delicately as if they wanted to keep every spark of that magical moment.

With the accelerated beat of their hearts in the background, they exchanged an intense kiss, full of gratitude and complicity. Their warm skins pressed together as heavy breathing filled the air around them. It was as if time had stopped, leaving room only for the present, just for the two of them.

Crowley continued to support Y/n in his arms, his golden eyes fixed on their y/e/c. His hands caressed them delicately, almost as if he were touching a precious work of art. They felt every touch of the demon on their skin, an electric hiss that made them shiver with pleasure. He seemed fascinated by every inch of the human's body as if he were exploring an unknown and fascinating world. Every nuance, every curve, seemed to be etched into his mind like a symphony of beauty.

<<You're so gorgeous...>> Crowley whispered hoarsely, the words spoken with worship and adoration.

Y/n smiled, feeling loved and wanted in a way they had never experienced before.

<<And you are extraordinary. >> answered softly.

Their gazes met again, and deep in Crowley's eyes, Y/n could read a mix of emotions: desire, passion, but also a vulnerability that made him even more fascinating.

The demon's lips explored their necks, leaving a trail of hot kisses. His sensual bites on their skin made them quiver with pleasure, blending sweet with spicy in a symphony of sensations. Y/n's hands tangled in his red hair, pulling him even closer. They felt his heart beat in unison as if they had become one soul.

They lost track of time. It was just the two of them, immersed in a world of their own, a world of desire and pleasure that enveloped them like a whirlwind.

Suddenly the kissing stopped and Y/n felt Crowley's strong arms wrap around them while his head was buried against their chest. As if he wanted to protect them from the whole world and at the same time, wanted to protect himself.

They welcomed him gently, feeling the warmth of his body next to theirs. Making the demon feel loved. In the silence of the night, their breaths calmed. <<What a way to provoke havoc... >> he remarked, amused. Y/n chuckled. <<We should do it more often. >> The demon turned his gaze to look at them. A smirk full of love and devotion on his face. <<Yeah, we should.>> He brought his face closer and kissed them passionately, keeping their head in place with his hand.

<<I think it's time to go home...>> suggested Y/n with a smile. << Yes, I think so too.>>

He carefully set them down, asking if they could stand on their own. Once Y/n felt more comfortable, they dressed each other again and then left the party together. Crowley's arm was placed over their shoulders.

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Secrets Kept From Him 18+ Chapter 7: Threats Ran x F!reader x Draken WC:7k Resident: @enchantedforest-network Synopsis: Ran feeling the rage of knowing what you did with Draken. He was so consumed with his thoughts he began to think about the past. The confrontation between Draken and Ran, threats would be known but would Draken really stray away? The confrontation between Ran and you would lead his daughter to know who he is. It wouldn't be the only complication that would lead you to the club to confront Ran with serious news. Fearing for you and your daughter's life it would be in Ran's hands. Seeing the woman who was on the other line and feeling conflicted with Ran. Everything happening makes you feel overwhelmed with everything. Tw: Threats, strong language (swearing, guns, and death), anger, anxiety, hickeys, kissings, flashbacks, passing out, break-in, stalking, arguing, possessive behavior from Ran, paranoia (unedited)

Draken had the towel around his waist as he went to his dresser pulling out a shirt for you to wear. As you slid the shirt it was overly too big for you yet he enjoyed the sight of you in his clothing. Draken went into the bathroom to grab something else. You reached for your phone that was in your purse. Seeing a voicemail along with a few messages.  Listening to the voicemail as you walk into the living room. ‘What the hell...’  he was at your home that late. The voicemail was left about 2 hours ago.  When you pulled up the test message from him. ‘You with him aren’t you. Is my daughter with you both?.’

Knowing if you called him right now it would be an issue and you didn’t want to drag Draken into this being so late at night already.When Draken came out of the bathroom he saw you walking back into the room. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I was gonna check on d/n but I realized it was already late. They are already asleep.”  Both of you laid in bed flicking the light off. He pulled you close to his chest, the side of your face. You could hear the steadiness of his heartbeat. Draken may have had a hunch something else was bothering you but you wouldn’t tell him. He could sense it could have been  because of Ran, but he  didn’t want to ruin this moment with you. His fingers work through your damp hair massaging your scalp. “I hope you enjoyed tonight.” Closing your eyes enjoying his fingers rubbing your scalp “I did, it's been so long since I’ve been on a date.” “I hope you don’t mind  going on more with me.” 

“I like the sound of that… You don’t mind going out with a single mom at all?” asking him. Hearing the mixture of pros and cons dating a single mom from other people and what they experienced.  

“It doesn’t bother me you being a mom ________. Some people may be bothered but I'm not one of them… D/n is your first priority. You're a mom first.”  She was your first priority, making sure she was safe and happy. 

~~~~~~~~~

Rindou watched his brother's foot tap on the floor as he sat down on the sofa. Ran looked around the club trying to avoid his thoughts of you being with Draken right now. It was becoming more evident to him when he thought about the conversation you both had. The way your body language spoke more than your words. “I know they slept together. The way she was acting when we talked she never acted this way with me. I’m losing her…” “Not if you get rid of the problem.”  Rindou leaning back on the couch. 

“Getting rid of him would solve a lot of issues…He still works at the shop right?”  Ran asked. His brother nodded  “I think I will pay him a visit after the meeting tomorrow. Obviously I need to make the message more clear to him about staying away from ________ and d/n.”

Ran felt his phone ringing, wondering if you were finally calling him back. Maybe a part of him wanted it to be you and it was you asking him for help if you got stranded somewhere or were anywhere else other than with Draken. Seeing the caller ID he closed his eyes for a brief moment. His stress level was high thinking he may need to release it. “Hello Ms. Yamaguchi…I could be better, have you ever got the feeling you wanna bash someone’s head in to relieve some stress??…really now… you don't say… what else now? Give me 20 mins I will be there.” he hung up his phone. At this point he needed something else to distract him even if it meant fucking someone to get the tension off of him. Using her body was just something temporary. 

Ran was making his way to her place when his mind began to wander to the day you left. That day since you came back repeated in his mind  more often than he wanted it. Just like a fresh wound that dishenced he replayed in his mind. 

~~~~~~~

“I will be back later on...” He cradles your cheeks with his hands. One of his hands bandaged up from an incident last night. He noticed you had a weary smile with his words. “You alright doll?” He asked

“I’m fine, just a little tired…I might just lay down and get some sleep.” You assured him. 

“Call me if you need me to come home okay?”

“Ran I’m fine” you softly chuckled.

“I love you” he kissed your forehead. 

“I love you too. Ran… please be careful? For me?”  

“Of course, aren’t I always?” he gave a small smile “Ran, I'm serious. Just these injuries could have been a lot worse than this.” “___________, please don’t worry about me. I know you worry but I can handle what I take on.” Ran reassured you many times like he has before in the past. “I will always come back to you.” He gave you a kiss on your lips before he left.

 Later in the night when Ran got home, the place was completely dark. You would often wait for him. Thinking you may have been asleep. Walking into the bedroom his eyes adjusting to the darkness to see the bed was untouched. “Where did she go?” flicking the lights on in the entire home he couldn’t find you. When he called you on the phone hoping you would pick up he would hear your phone ringing. Seeing it on the counter…. Ran’s heart dropped  he didn’t know what to do he began to internally panic not knowing if something happened to you. There was no trace of you or where you could have gone. 

He had called family and friends no one had heard from you. Ran began to think of one person who would know where you went. The same person that couldn’t have you. 

Draken was at work when he saw the eldest Haitani brother pull up to the shop. Ran never came to the shop unless it was with you.The two never really engaged in conversation with one another. There was that bit of tension other people noticed but it flew over your head. He looked annoyed looking over at Draken, Emma was visiting the shop to bring Draken lunch when she saw Ran.  “Where is she?” 

Draken was screwing a bolt on a bike when he heard the question. He held the wrench in his hand as Ran approached. The guys in the shop heard the question wondering what Ran was talking about. “Where is who Haitani?” Draken asked as they both were a few feet apart. 

“She is gone.” Ran looked at him. “Don’t act dumb tell me where she is.” 

Emma looked over at Draken “Draken what is he talking about?” 

“I don’t know what he is talking about.” Draken paused for a moment realizing the question “wait what do you mean she is gone?” 

“______ took off  last night. No one has seen her or spoken to her since yesterday. You're the only person she tells things to or what she is planning.”  Ran's face was serious as he and Draken looked at one another. 

“She hasn’t told me anything.” Draken found it odd you left without an explanation. Something must have happened for you to go to the extent of leaving the way you did. “What the hell did you do to her to make her leave?” Draken asked.

Emma looked over at Draken who had a stern expression on his face. Just in this moment she could tell he wasn’t over you.  Even after telling her many times, she just knew. Draken pushed aside his feelings after he found out about you and Ran dating. He started seeing you less than usual. He didn’t want to ruin what was making you happy even if you were with someone else. 

“What are you assuming now?” Ran responded  “you really wanna go there?” 

“______ wouldn’t just leave the way she did unless you did something you prick.” His hand was holding tighter on the wrench. “If you touched her I sw-“

“You would have liked that huh? So can you save her?” He let out a sarcastic laugh. “I would never have harmed her, you should know that by now…Such a bold move in front of your woman.” Ran looked over at Emma “how do you feel about that? Seeing how irked he got about MY girlfriend now.”  His attention went back to Draken. “If I find out you're lying about knowing where she is… you won’t see the last of me.”

“I would like to see you try.”  Draken spoke in a threat of tone. 

They both started down one another before Ran took off in his car. Draken looked over at Emma who was looking down on the ground. She was feeling insecure about their relationship. She walked away ‘shit’  Draken followed her. “Emma, wait.”  

He reached for her hand. The moment she turned around her eyes were filled with tears. “Draken, I need to go” 

He couldn’t leave her like this. He took her to the break room which was empty. “Emma, you know I love you.” He did love Emma and felt guilty for making her feel like this. 

“Do you  honestly do?” She wiped her eyes. She felt like an option of what Draken settled for instead of who he wanted to be with. 

He closed his eyes for a brief moment before responding “l do.” He held her close to him. Emma's arms wrapped around him. His chin was resting on the top of her head. Draken couldn’t come to terms he wasn’t over you. As obvious it was right now he saw it was hurting Emma. He wanted to make this work with her, being in love with someone who wasn’t his from the beginning and he needed to move on in his life. He needed to be happy as well. 

~~~~ 

In that same time frame Draken was thinking about that day. From that point on, time passed once his relationship with Emma felt strong and solid; he wanted that next step in making her his wife. He began thinking about the efforts he tried to put in his marriage. But it was never enough… resulting in divorce. Emma prolonged the divorce for months making it more difficult for the both of them. 

Just him being able to hold you in his arms right now he had hope this would take off from here. But the challenges would only start to rise. He wasn’t fully sure how much of you wanted to move on from Ran or how long this would last between you both. You and Ran share a daughter together and a lot of memories that you and Draken hadn’t experienced. He was willing to fight for a chance to be with you. 

“______ are you up?” He quietly spoke. When he didn’t hear you respond he assumed you were sleeping. “I love you.”

You heard the words coming from Draken. Your eye slightly opened but he was unable to see them due to the angle. You honestly didn’t know how to respond. The last person you told I love you was your daughter. The words I love you held so much meaning to you, you wouldn’t mean it unless you truly were in love with someone. Draken effortlessly saying it with no hesitation. 

Ran on the other side of the city the built up anger and stress he was feeling wouldn’t go away quick enough.  No matter how rough the sex was this time, he couldn’t get rid of the image of you sleeping with Draken. It only filled his anger more. Everything he used to do to you he was now thinking you were doing it with Draken. 

Even after the sex it wasn’t enough for him. Ran getting off the bed and went into his coat pocket pulling out a cigarette. Looking at the time it was 4:30 am, “I have to get going.” Ms. Yamaguchi held the cover over her naked frame “You might as well stay. It’s already late.” 

“I prefer just to leave…my day is going to be long.” Ran spoke. 

“You seem so serious.” she gathered her hair on one side of her shoulder 

“I have a lot to deal with right now.” Ran was quickly getting dressed. “It felt like it. You wanna talk about it?” Ms. Yamaguchi asked as she reached for her robe.  Walking towards him. “Ya know you just don’t have to come over and fuck my brains out only. I’m a great listener.” ‘Also the one that made this predicament I’m in more stressful’ he said to himself. “I don’t wanna worry your pretty little head with things in my life.” Ran smirked his hands brushing through his hair. “I’ll see ya later at the club.”

He will be attending the meeting with Nishimura in a few hours. He only managed to get a few hours of sleep. Meeting Rindou at their office in the club  “you look like shit.” Rindou looked at him.

“Let's just get this over with.” Ran took a seat next to his brother. 

The meeting went on, certain demands were requested before they restart their negotiations. Both Rin and Ran were aware of the missing truck and products that were taken; they wouldn’t tell them they were in their possession. “We can make sure that doesn’t happen this time. But our price will be higher than last time and we need the money upfront before we make the drops.” Rin spoke.

They both saw the group of men speaking before the head of the Nishimura family spoke “Very well we will make some arrangements for that but we expect to hold your end of the bargain on things.” “Of course we can handle it. Just let us know when you want us to deliver the shipments.” Ran spoke “I will have someone reach out to you both regarding our shipment. I think this wraps things up,  we discuss everything that needs to be discussed. Well gentlemen, pleasure doing business as always.” Exiting out of the meeting, Ran got up from the chair. Rin looked over at his brother, “Don’t do anything stupid now.” 

“We will see what happens. I can’t promise anything I know I can’t promise.” 

~~~~~

Draken brought you to the shop to pick up your car. Both of you got out of his car and he walked you over to your car. “Thank you for last night.” “You don’t need to thank me.” he responded “I’m glad you went out with me. Looking forward to the next one.” “Me too.” you smiled  

Draken looked over at the shop to see some of his co-workers looking his way but then turned around when he saw them. “I know you gotta get d/n. You should get going.” his hand reached for your cheek before pressing his lips onto yours. “Right, I will talk to you later?” you asked him.

He nodded “yeah.” Draken opened your car door for you and saw you leave down the road.

Walking to the shop “So still just friends?” Inui asked. “And I wasn’t going to come into the shop today.” Mikey responded. “I take it that things are going well.”  Was dropping by the shop to catch the moment between you and Draken. “The date went well, she had to pick up d/n.” “She stood over huh?”  Mikey leaned against the tool cart. 

“Of course she did. The mark on her neck would prove she did.” Inui looked over at Draken 

“That’s enough. Stop trying to dig for info.” Draken spoke. Even if it was his day off he stood for a while to see the work Inui was doing. 

Seeing a car pull up into the parking lot. Getting out of the car was the eldest Haitani brother. His eyes darted over at  Ken who was looking back at him. “What do you want Haitani?” 

“I came here as a warning to you.” Ran spoke in a serious tone. “You stay away from _______ and my daughter or else.” 

Draken didn’t back down from the threatening tone. “You don’t scare me Haitani. If me and _____ decide to see one another, you're not going to stop us.” 

Ran let out a sarcastic laugh “see each other? That is a good one. It will be over my dead body if you think you can walk in and try to step in.”

“I’m not backing down anytime Haitani. You fucked up not me. You had your chance with _______, I will make sure she never gets hurt again.” 

“We will see about that.”  Ran said as he saw Mikey and Inui also looking at him. “You're lucky I don’t put a bullet in between your eyes right now.”

Mikey spoke in a monotone voice  “I think you should leave Haitani. Making threats here is not the best thing to do either.” 

“Really now?” Ran looked over at Mikey ``Such a shame, the person your sister only loved didn’t love her back. Yet you choose to still hang out with the man who divorced her. Some family you are.” Ran turned around “Stay away from them or there is a bullet with your name on it.” he walked back to the car before peeling off out of the drive away. “Is she even worth all this?” Inui asked, looking over at Draken.

“She is and if it means dealing with him… I will. I won’t back down to him.”

~~~~~~~~~ 

You stood for a few hours at your aunts before heading home. Arriving home you saw Ran leaning against his car with his hands in his pocket. “Mommy look, it's Mr. Ran!” She pointed out the window.

“Yeah there he is.” You parked the car, Ran made his way towards your car. You felt your anxiety kicking in the closer he got to the car. You didn’t know if he was going to make an incident in the front of the house or what.

Ran opened the back door to the car. “ Hello there princess.” 

“Hello.” She smiled. 

You got out of the car and he picked up D/n walking with her inside the house. They talked for a moment before he spoke  “Hey princess, me and your mommy need to talk really fast. Is it okay if you go up to your room?” 

She nodded. He put her down and he watched her go up the stairs. You on the other hand knew where this was going. Ran noticed the mark on your neck right away walking closer  you could see him slightly shake his head, his hand grasping your chin turning your head to the side. “You let him fuck you didn’t you...” the violet orbs that were always so kind felt cold.

“And if I did Ran?” You said you avoided eye contact with him as you pushed his hand away from your chin., “It doesn’t concern you on what I do. We are not together, you need to understand that.” 

He was a bit agitated by your response. He snapped it wasn’t by choice you both weren’t together.  “the reason why we aren’t together  is because you decide to fucking leave in the mild of the fucking night pregnant with my daughter. You think I wanted to give that up? You fucking think for a minute how that affected me? You fucking show up back in town and wouldn’t even have told me still I had a daughter?  

“I gave you my reason for leaving. I was doing what was best for my daughter Ran. You were so caught up with all your underground bullshit and living that dangerous lifestyle. Did you think that would have been the best thing for her growing up?!” 

His hand slammed on the counter hard as it made you jump a little bit. “Our daughter would have been safe ________! Did it ever occur to you it would have all worked out? Of course you didn’t because you jump to the worse fucking scenario as always.  Did you fucking forget I wanted to start a family with you. I wanted to marry you. Everything we had gone through together you just let it disappear just like that. Like I never existed in your life.” He looked at you. “My daughter calls me Mr. Ran… she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her and her mother. The only woman I loved just looks at me like I’m no good. To feel like a stranger in your life.” 

You paused for a moment “Ran..” “You don’t know the pain I went through all those years when you were gone…Yeah I slept with women to try and forget about you but you were always there. Comparing them to you and everything you did.” 

 From up stairs d/n could hear bits and pieces of what was going on. As a  child's curiosity, she didn’t know what was going on. She heard the ending Ran phrase ‘My daughter calls me Mr. Ran she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her’ 

D/n understood certain things and with that phrase she wanted to know if Ran was her father. Even though they asked her to go to her room as they talked she was too impatient. She could hear the argument between you and possibly her father. You caught a glimpse of your daughter who was peaking on the other side of the wall. “Sweetheart me and Mr Ran are talking.”

She looked at Ran, the same violet eyes looking down at her. Walking towards Ran, something told him to kneel down as she came closer. As he was eye level with his little one she looked at him. Her little hands reached for his face and she began to study his face more closely.. “Your eyes are like mine.” 

His hands rested on hers. “I know, princess….” he started off, Ran couldn’t hold it in anymore he felt the moment needed to be addressed right here and right now. “D/n do you know you're a part of me?”  He asked her, and she responded with a nod. “Who am I?” 

“My daddy?” d/n she gave a soft smile. 

Ran needed this moment right now. His arms wrapped around his little one. She didn’t let go either she held on tightly to Ran. The corner of her eyes began to water up, Ran wiped her eyes “it’s okay.” He kissed her temple. “I don’t plan on leaving you d/n.” Even with the arguing moments ago he didn’t care at all. His baby knew who he was. Something that he had been wanting to do since the first day he met his daughter, hold her just like this and make her feel safe.

“Does this mean Mr. Rin is my uncle? 

“He is.” Ran smiled. 

D/n was happy about this news, she finally had a daddy. “Mommy, does this mean we can all live together? Just like in the stories we read?” “It’s not that simple d/n”  you looked at her . She was a bit confused “but why?” “D/n…Right now me and your daddy are still figuring out somethings.” 

“Then we can live together right?” she asked. “We will see about that princess. Right now me and mommy have to talk some more about it…” “Okay…” she was a little bummed in her response. 

Ran knew how his daughter felt he wanted that as well but he knew it was something  he couldn’t control, not this time. “D/n me and mommy need to finish talking okay?”

“Okay…” She got down from her fathers arms and began to return to her room.

 Both of you walked into the back yard, the brief moment of silence as a light breeze floated in the backyard. “You didn’t give me a fair chance _____.” he started off. “From that point on when you left. I thought we were happy and moving forward in our future… I guess it was one sided. Even now…I know you don’t believe me, how much I wanted you back or how much I loved you.” “I do believe you Ran..how you are talking right now I know it’s the truth…I just couldn’t jump in where we left off… it wasn’t right..and just… never mind “

He looked at you then out into the yard. “What, Draken made you that confused on how you feel about me now or what? If I were to tell you right now I love you.. Would you say it back?” 

“Ran…” 

“You can simply deny all you want ________, but I know your response when I tell you I love you. ”  he wasn’t going to give up so easily, “I know every part of you very well. Even after not seeing you for so long. I know what you like, what you don’t…how to make you quiver and make you cum so quickly. Are you afraid of looking weak in front of me now?” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know since you know me so well, you tell me.” He let a low chuckle out “You're afraid of caving in. That night on the phone you were fighting that urge. You wanted me to come over, if I would have it would have solved a lot of problems right then and there. Were you so desperate for sex you caved into sleeping with him?” it happened so quickly you found yourself against the wall he had you trapped between the wall and him. “What is it because he told you he  loved you? You felt special?” He was inches from your face, the somber tone he used as he spoke. “You opened your legs right away…If I find him here I mean it ______ he is a dead man. No other man is going to be around my daughter in that way.” he leaned back. “I can promise that.”  He began walking into the house. “Ran, I need you to leave.” your voice was calm but you felt angry with him and how he was acting. His words felt like you belonged to him whether or not you were with him. “As you wish.” Ran casually walked upstairs to the bedroom where his daughter was playing. 

He told her he had to leave because he had to work. “Are you coming tomorrow?” she asked

“Of course, I gotta see my girl.”he smiled and kissed her temple. After saying their goodbyes. You didn’t even walk him to the door. He let himself out.

Draken would end up texting you a few hours later that Ran went to his job knowing that you both went out the night prior along with the threats. “I’m sorry..” you sighed in the phone 

“It’s not your fault he did that.” Draken responded. 

“Still think it’s okay to still go on dates?” Asking him. “I just don't wanna cause problems.” 

“He doesn’t scare me, it may work on others but not me. If he has a problem with me taking you out he knows where to find me. I still want to take you out.”

You had a small smile. You heard your daughter call out for your name “mommy!”

“D/n calling for you.” you heard Draken chuckled. “Yeah, I will call you later” you told him

“Sounds good to me.Talk to you later” 

When you hung up the phone. You walked up the stairs towards your daughter's room.  When getting to her room you saw her sitting on her bed holding her stuffed rabbit tightly. “Sweetie what is the matter?” Walking into her you kneel down looking at her. You noticed her eyes looking at the corner of her room and then back at you. In  the corner of her room you saw a large man. Wearing all black and wearing a mask. “______ is it?” the deep raspy voice spoke. “Who the hell are you?” you looked at him. 

“Unfortunately I can't tell you that. You see I actually came here for a purpose…” 

“Purpose?” you stood up. “I was given an order to kill you..”  You felt your stomach drop, your daughter began sobbing louder. She held onto you tightly, “But I’m a reasonable man now. You see you are linked to Ran Haitani.” “What about him?” you asked. “Whatever Ran it has nothing to do with us.” 

“As my boss sees it, it can play a big role in our favor… Ran has something in his possession for years now and we want it back. I mean for years we tried to get it back but with no success but after following him for sometime we finally found something to make him budge.”  

You remembered the black car that was following you the other day… “mommy.” Your daughter was still sobbing. 

“Shh there there d/n  it’s okay no need to cry.” The man said, “You see, we didn't expect one of the  Haitani brothers to have a private family but assuming he didn’t know until a few weeks ago. And let me tell you it would be a shame to see that taken away so quickly right _____? Your daughter's life is so precious and so young. She hasn’t experienced life to the fullest yet.” 

“Please just don’t hurt her.” Your arms wrapped around your daughter.  Your heart was pushing with anxiety you didn’t know what this masked man was gonna do. You were trying to figure a way to please the man. You're heard rambling with various ideas. “What if I told him whatever he has to give it back. Please I-I promise he will give it back.” You splattered out. 

“You wouldn’t be lying to me right now to save your lives.” On the side of his pants pocket you had the pistol. 

“Please, I will do anything to protect my daughter.” 

“What a good mother you are. If you're able to get the stolen items back to my possession I will spare you and your daughters life but don’t play me for a fool ....” He walked closer and his large intimidating structure stood in front of you. “I know where you are at all times from your family's home to where d/n goes to school. I won’t hesitate to end your lives quickly. I expect to see the items returned soon. The sooner the better.” 

“Y-yes.”you nodded quickly.

The man pulled his phone out. Bringing it to his ear. “Bring the car to the front…” before handing up. “Let’s see how selfless of a man he truly is…. I do need to make my exit.. you are not allowed to leave this room for ten minutes… when the ten mins is up you can leave. Maybe even find Ran and tell him to quickly return the items.” 

The man walked out of the room disappearing down the hallway. You didn’t know how you did it for so long but your legs were trembling, you fell to your knees, your arms hugging d/n tightly. “I'm sorry d/n.”  The tears fell onto your cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” You need to get this taken care of right away. You looked at your daughter wiping her tears away “I’m here d/n I promised I will always be with you.” She nodded slightly sniffling.

You began collecting your thoughts before you decided to grab a bag. You weren’t going to risk staying here the night. You packed a bag for you and d/n. Quickly getting  her into the car you headed out to your aunt's home. 

Knocking on the door to her home. You looked around to see if any cars were around as you had your daughter in your arms. Paranoid you were being followed. When she opened the door you quickly got in. “What’s going on??” She looked at you and saw you with a distressed look. 

“I need to do something important. I will explain everything later. Can you please watch d/n?” You asked your aunt. 

With the tone and expression she was concerned but she couldn’t ask. D/n heated you were going to leave here and she held onto you right. “Please don’t go mommy.” 

“Sweetheart I have to… I  promise I will be back okay?” You tried to use soothing words to her. 

“I don’t want the bad man coming back.” 

Aunt looked at you. She was growing more concerned. “He won’t, mommy needs to find daddy and we will get this fixed.”

Giving her a tight hug and kiss, you looked at your aunt. “Thank you…” 

“Please come back,” your aunt looked at you. 

Pulling up to the club, you were underdressed to be going in there.  At this point you didn’t care when you entered the building you moved through the crowd. People looked at you  walking pass them as they were in the weekend clothing. Looking for Ran, but you were spotted by Rindou who was at the bar. He could see you were pissed off, “god dammit.”Rindou reached for your arm when you realized it was him. 

“Where is Ran.” you managed to speak loud enough over the music “_____  this can’t wait?” Rindou spoke, he thought it was because of what his brother did earlier. “Making a scene here is not good fo-“

You didn’t let him finish his sentence “Rin where is he at or I will find him myself.” you looked at him. There was no point in him trying to change your mind. “Come on.” 

You followed him closely behind, you saw Ran next to him was a woman wearing a dress that seemed too small bending over her whole ass would be showing. She was pretty close to him,but the way he was looking at her was a bit off putting as if he was uninterested but she was trying to have his attention on her. When Ran saw Rindou approaching, Ran saw you. The incident from earlier he wasn’t expecting to hear from you, let alone see you.

 The woman next to him was Ms.Yamaguchi. She noticed Ran’s attention was at you. "She came here in that?’ She thought to herself as she looked at you up and down. 

 Ran walked towards you leaving her side  “what is it?” he asked.

“What did you do?” you looked at him. “Who did you piss off?”

He was confused about what you were asking him. He had you follow him down a hallway that led to his office. When he closed the door he asked “What are you talking about?” he asked. “Ran, who did you piss off?” you ask him as you crossed your arms looking at him you were trying to keep calm. From the incident with the person in your home.  “What is with this question?” he asked “Someone was in my house and they knew you! They know where my family is, where d/n goes to school! ” you finally snapped. “This is what I was afraid of! You keep fucking with  people they are going to poke back! Are you trying to put d/n life at risk?!” 

Ran saw the anxiety and anger you displayed in front of him. “Where is D/n?” 

“She is at my aunt's house. I don’t know what the fuck you took but what ever it is they are not playing around.” You began to panic more thinking the worst. Remembering the threats. 

“______ you need to calm down.”  His hands resting on your shoulders. Threats being made to you and d/n pissed him off. He had a hunch in who it was but needed proof it was them. He didn’t want to jump onto it right away.

 Warm tears fell down from your cheeks pushing his hands off of you. “When you have someone threatening to take your daughter's life you wouldn’t be calm Ran. So don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”  He noticed you began to hyperventilate. 

“You being upset and freaking out is not making it any better _____” He spoke in a more stern tone. “I will find out who did this okay? I need some information about what they look like?” 

“He was in all black and had a mask on. His voice was deep and raspy like he smoked a lot…” You close your eyes seeing the tall masked man as you were  trying to stay calm. You didn’t want to go home not knowing if they would be there. You leaned against the desk running your finger through your hair. Your head was hurting and anxiety wasn’t helping it. 

You heard a knock in the door. The door opened to find the woman he was standing by a few mins ago “Ran darling  everything okay?” Ms Yamaguchi asked as she entered the room. Both you and her looked at one another “oh sorry I didn’t realize you had a guest still..” 

When you heard her voice you recognized it right away.  It was the other woman you heard that night. She was beautiful and she made you feel insecure a bit. She looked like she was a better fit for him than you ever did. You averted your eyes back to Ran. “Sorry for keeping him…”

“Oh it’s fine. I was just getting a bit lonely without him. I can take him back when you're done. Are you a friend of his?” She asked. Ms. Yamaguchi played a bit dumb knowing exactly who you were. 

 “_____ this is Ms. Yamaguchi… Ms. Yamaguchi this is _____”  Ran introduced you both. “Ms. Yamaguchi, me and ______ were in the middle of a discussion right now.” Ran could see Ms. Yamaguchi was butting in and saying things that weren’t really how they sounded to be. She latched onto him when she arrived and he was trying to show in his expression and demeanor how uninterested he was in her. 

“No no it’s fine I need to get going…”  you began walking off. “Nice meeting you…” 

Ran saw you walking off and he proceeded to follow you, as he passed Ms. Yamaguchi. “Wait where are you going?!?” 

“I need to finish talking to ______.”  Ran didn’t look at her as he began following you. 

The music was blasting loud as you walked to the exit. Ran was trailing behind you calling your name out. When you got out of the club you walked faster to your car. “Can you stop walking, dammit. Stop ignoring me.” He reached for your upper arm getting ahold of it. 

“That was her…”  you shook your head. “Ran darling…” 

“Ms. Yamaguchi does business with me and Rin.” 

“And you get to fuck her right between the meetings? Ran I’m not stupid but then again it’s not my business who you decide to fuck…I just know you have.” Why was it bothering you so much just seeing her?  The memories of running into Ran’s past lovers years back and how they would act towards you. It was always so unsettling to you. Instead of him comforting you each time it happened in the past, you had to manage it yourself and you did a poor job doing it..You got yourself worked up. Seeing Ms. Yamaguchi and putting a face to the voice didn’t help.

“She is not important right now . What is important right now is you and d/n.”  Ran said.  He saw you were still hyperventilating a bit. He held onto the sides of your face and he was focused on current state of mind. 

“I- I need to leave…” your body began to sway slightly stumbling trying to push his hands away from your face but you felt weak 

“______. You need to calm down.” his request wouldn’t be completed once your vision went black. Ran managing to hold onto your body. Making sure you didn’t fall to the ground “_______! Fuck.”  he called the bodyguard outside letting them know to call Rin. Rindou made it outside “What the fuck happened?!” 

Ran held you bride style in his arms ``she passed out… Look I need you to go get D/n from her aunt's house. Bring her to my place. I’m gonna take _______ there.” Ran had his car pulled up by the valle. Rindou helped him place you in the car, before he took off. As he arrived at his home he carefully carried your body to his bedroom placing you on the bed.  He wasn’t going to let you go back home if they were easy to get into the home like that he wasn’t going to risk having you there. Ran looked down at you ‘if only this scenario were different than right now.’ he thought to himself. Walking out of his room he loosened his tie and removed his jacket.  Rindou arrived with D/n who was hugging her as she was asleep. Ran didn’t want to disturb her sleep so he kissed her forehead.  “Put her in the room with ______.” After a few mins Rindou came out of the bedroom. “What the hell happened.”

“Someone broke into their home and threatened ________ and d/n. I don’t know all the details but from what ______ told it's someone I know… they want items back…” Ran gave Rin a look already knowing who it could be. “But I need proof it's them…They have info on d/n school along with ________ info as well and  her family… They are going to need to stay here for a while till this shit gets cleared.” 

“Did she agree?  Asking him. “She will have to, I don't see any other option.” Ran sat on the couch and he felt his phone ring. Pulling out his phone he saw it was Ms.Yamaguchi he rolled his eyes and sent her to voicemail. “She didn’t help either. It was a wrong move signing a contract with her… I feel like she made it more complicated than needed. She just added fuel to the fire…very close to telling to fuck off.” “Speaking of the devil she noticed you following_______ out  and asked me about it, let's just say I told there was a lot of history she wouldn’t understand .” “Pain in the ass I swear if she didn’t open her mouth everything between me and _____ , it would be better. Now I’m facing the difficulties of  dealing with fucken Draken.. Both of them had fucked..”

“Think of it now since she is here you really think she will go see Draken let alone leave when she knows someone is watching her.” Rindou sat on the other side of the couch. “As I see it the is an opportunity to fix any issues you might have.”.

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[beautification-tales]

The Corruption

Part 2 of The Confession

Debra ran to her car, her heart racing as the cool evening breeze caressed her flushed cheeks. The engine roared to life, and she sped away from the church into the bustling streets of the city. The honks of impatient drivers and the rhythmic thrum of the tires on the asphalt formed a stark contrast to the intimate silence she had just left behind. In her pocket, her phone buzzed with an incoming text, but she ignored it, focusing instead on the road ahead. Her thoughts swirled like the dust kicked up by her tires as she tried to make sense of the tumultuous emotions coursing through her veins.

The scene replayed in her mind as the sound of Father Thomas’s groans of pleasure repeated . She had done it. The thrill of power surged through her, mingling with the guilt that was already starting to set in. It had been a wild ride, but now she was racing away from the consequences, hoping they wouldn’t catch up. The tingle was so strong she could almost feel an urge to pull over and scratch that itch.

“You are a slut my child.” The words from her priest replayed in her mind. The sound from her heartbeat filled her ears. She was going to hell for sure. But she couldn’t deny the excitement she felt as she recalled the forbidden encounter in the confessional booth. She bit her bottom lip, tasting the sweetness of power. It was intoxicating, a feeling she had never experienced before.

Debra finally made it home and collapsed onto the couch, the fabric sticking to her sweaty skin. She couldn't believe what had just happened. The house was quiet, a stark contrast to the storm raging inside her. The walls of her living room seemed to close in around her, and she realized she hadn't even turned on the lights. She buried her face in her hands as she imagined her family finding out.

She imagined her mother scolding her for her impurity, her stepfather's disappointed gaze. She knew her sister would be surprised but supportive. Debra smiled, thinking how her sister would respond in predictable profanity. “Whoa sis! At church? You fucking naughty girl. I’m fucking proud of you bitch.” Debra laughed, “You would be proud of me.”

Debra sighed as she realized how badly she missed her older sister. They hadn’t talked for what seemed like a year now. She needed to tell someone about what had just happened. Her sister had always been the wild one, the one who didn’t give a damn about the consequences. Maybe she would understand.

She pulled her phone out and dialed her sister's number, her hands shaking with a mix of excitement and trepidation. The line rang over and over and went to voicemail. "Of Course," she whispered, feeling the first waves of disappointment wash over her. Her sister was the one person who could make her feel normal again, who could laugh with her about the absurdity of her situation.

“Hey sis it’s me. I want to tell you something… I know it’s been a while but please call me back. I… miss you.” Debra left the message with a tremble in her voice and tossed her phone aside. The room felt eerily silent without the echo of her own voice. She stood up and went to bed.

The next morning, Debra woke up feeling as if she had been hit by a truck. She smelled the breakfast her mother was cooking and realized… it was Sunday morning. Church. The very thought made her stomach churn. She threw off the covers and stumbled to the bathroom, her legs shaky from the night's events. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the reflection of a woman torn between the thrill of the forbidden and the weight of her guilt. She showered and put on her Sunday’s best, trying to hide this new desire within her.

“Ah good morning Debra! You seem a bit more sluggish than usual this morning are you feeling ok?” her mother’s cheerful voice called from the kitchen. Debra's stomach lurched at the thought of facing her family. She took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit tired," she called back, hoping her voice didn't betray the tumultuous night she had just had. She descended the stairs, her footsteps echoing through the hallway. The aroma of pancakes and syrup filled the air, a stark contrast to the bitter taste of guilt in her mouth.

“Whoa you definitely do look tired! Did you not sleep last night?” Her stepfather’s words hit Debra like an open accusation. “I’m fine Phil! Just a bit of a headache, probably too much sun yesterday.” She lied, trying to keep her cool as she took her seat at the breakfast table. Her mother looked at her with a concerned expression, but she quickly turned her attention back to the stove, flipping the pancakes with a practiced ease.

They drove together to church as they usually do. Debra couldn't help but glance at her mother and stepfather, their mundane conversations about the weather and weekly chores floating over the car's speakers. She felt like a fraud, like at any moment they would be able to see through her carefully crafted facade and expose her for what she had done. But they remained oblivious, and she was grateful for the illusion of normalcy.

The illusion was destroyed when they arrived to the church. The crowds and whispers indicated that something was wrong. She saw the furrowed brows and heard the hushed tones of the congregation as they passed by. Her stomach sank. What if Father Thomas had said something? What if someone had found out?

“Hey Phil! Did you hear the news? Father Thomas isn’t feeling well, they say it’s some kind of emergency. Won’t be leading the service today!” A family friend whispered, her eyes wide with curiosity. Debra felt a knot form in her stomach. Emergency? Did he have a heart attack because of what they had done? Was it all her fault?

“They said he was passed out in the confessional booth. The weird thing is they say his pants were down. What the hell was he doing in there?” The friend’s husband spoke in a whisper loud enough for Debra to hear. Her heart skipped a beat.

“He probably was fucking masturbating! That’s what these priests do in their spare time, right Debra?” A new voice joined the conversation but an unfamiliar one. Debra’s eyes went wide, realizing that this woman could feel her distress. She was also strikingly beautiful with bright orange hair. “It’s so fucking good to see you Debra!” She hugged Debra tightly and whispered in her ear. “I know what you fucking did last night. If you don’t want everyone to know. Play along!”

Debra’s heart nearly stopped as the woman pulled away. She looked into her eyes and realized they glowed. “Umm yeah good to see you too.” She stuttered, her cheeks burning with a mix of shock and embarrassment. The woman's smile grew wider, her teeth gleaming as she released Debra from the embrace.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your parents?” The woman with the orange hair winked at Debra, her eyes still glowing mischievously. Debra’s heart raced as she awkwardly made the introductions. Her parents seemed oblivious to the tension, engaging in polite small talk. Meanwhile, Debra’s thoughts raced. Who was this woman? What did she know?

“Yes of course this is.” The mysterious woman interrupted “Phil and Sophie! Debra talks about you two all of the time!” She lied through her teeth, her grip on Debra’s arm tightening just enough to remind her of the secret she held. “Is it all right if I took your daughter out for coffee? We need to catch up and it seems service will not be happening this morning.”

The knot in Debra’s stomach grew tighter as she looked at her mother and stepfather, hoping they would decline. But to her horror, her mother beamed back. “Of course! That’s such a lovely idea! Go on you two, have fun!” The woman hugged Debra’s parents. “You two are the fucking best! I wish I had parents as great as you two.” Debra’ parents smiled at the compliment.

“Well umm your language does remind us of our eldest daughter.” Her mother giggled awkwardly, looking at the woman. Debra looked down missing her sister again. “Well she sounds like fun! How come I never see her?” The family got quiet as Debra felt a coldness creep into her bones. Phil finally answered after it seemed like an eternity. “She went away for college. We don’t get to see her much these days.”

The woman nodded as she grabbed Debra’s hand. “Well it was nice meeting you. I’ll make sure she’s home nice and safe bye!” The woman turned and led Debra through the crowd as they made it to the parking lot. The woman stopped in front of a red Lamborghini and opened the impressive doors. “Get in slut.” The woman whispered to Debra.

Debra obeyed as the car sped away from the parking lot. Debra turned to the woman and unloaded her questions. "Who are you? How do you know about last night? What do you want from me?" she demanded, her voice shaking. The woman kept her eyes on the road as she pressed the gas pedal with her high heeled foot. “A friend, I was there last night and I want to talk about it.” She replied with a knowing smile.

They arrived at a fancy café on the outskirts of town. The woman parked the car and turned to Debra. “So, tell me, how does it feel to be a sinner?” Her eyes gleamed with a mischievous light that sent chills down Debra’s spine. She swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please you act like I didn’t hear everything.” The woman’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, and she turned to Debra, her eyes still gleaming. “But you know what? I like a little game of pretend. So, let’s keep up the charade for now, shall we?” She opened the door of the Lamborghini with a flourish, and Debra followed her into the building , her mind racing with a hundred different scenarios of what this could mean. Debra took a look around at the fancy hotel lobby as they reached the café on the side.

“So what’s the deal with your sister?” The orange-haired woman took a sip of her coffee, her eyes never leaving Debra’s. The café was bustling with the usual Sunday brunch crowd, but the noise faded into the background as Debra’s anxiety grew.

The woman noticed Debra’s puzzled expression and clarified. “When I asked about her you all got quiet like there was a secret there.” Her voice was like a siren’s call, sweet yet hinting at something much darker. “She … she’s an atheist and it caused a lot of fighting before she left.” Debra said, trying to keep her voice steady. The woman nodded as if that was the answer she was expecting.

“Mom was an alcoholic before she got saved. Sister went off to college and wanted to live life free of the guilt of a judgmental mother?” Debra looked up from her cup of coffee, surprised by the orange-haired woman’s insight. “How do you know all this?”

“I know a lot of things. I know you miss your sister and that you can’t stop thinking about last night. How good did it feel? This time don’t lie.” The woman leaned in closer, her breath smelling faintly of mint and something darker. Her eyes held a hint of a challenge. “It felt so good and I can’t get the sound out of my head. The sound of him.. cumming” Debra admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Debra felt the woman’s foot rub against her leg. The warmth from her skin sent an electric jolt through Debra’s body. She was not used to being touched in such a manner. "You know, I've done bad things but making a priest cum is next level," the woman said, her hand now gently stroking Debra's arm. "But tell me, did you feel powerful?”

Debra took a deep breath, her chest tightening. "I did," she admitted, feeling a strange mix of pride and fear. "But I also feel so guilty. I don't know if I can do it again."

The woman’s expression changed, a flicker of something dark crossing her features. “Guilt… so gross. It’s time we got rid of that pesky barrier. Don’t you think so?” Debra shivered as she felt the woman’s foot go up her calf. “How do I do that?” Debra asked like she was under a trance.

“Easy, just give in to it. Embrace the darkness within you. It’s a part of you, a powerful part. Just like your sister did.” The woman’s hand slid up to Debra’s neck, her thumb tracing the line of her jaw. “Your sister was like you once, you know. A sweet, innocent little thing, practically invisible. But she found her power in the shadows. And now she does anything she fucking wants.”

Debra’s eyes widened at the revelation, and she felt a strange yearning to be like her sister. To feel that power, to be seen. “Do you know her?” she whispered, her voice trembling. The woman leaned in closer, her breasts brushing against Debra’s arm. “Better than you think. She’s like a sister to me.”

The woman’s hand slid down to Debra’s waist, and she felt the heat of the woman’s touch through her dress. “What do you mean?” Debra’s voice was barely a murmur now, lost in the cacophony of the café. The woman now was so close as Debra got lost looking at her red lips. “Why don’t you come upstairs to my room and let me show you.” The woman whispered in Debra’s ear.

They walked through the café, the woman’s hand guiding Debra to the lobby of the hotel attached to the cafe. Each step was a silent scream of excitement and fear. The walls of the staircase seemed to close in on her as they ascended. What was she getting herself into? The woman’s grip was firm, reassuring, yet Debra felt like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

When they entered the hotel room, the smell of incense and something else, something darker, filled the air. The room was dimly lit with candles placed strategically around the space, casting flickering shadows on the walls. The bed was unmade, the sheets a tangled mess of passion. Debra’s heart raced, her breathing shallow.

The woman pounced on her, wasting no time. She kissed Debra’s neck causing Debra to yelp in shock and pleasure. "Shh, it’s okay," she murmured as she pushed Debra onto the bed, her hand sliding under her dress. "You want this. You know you do."

Debra's body responded despite her racing thoughts. She felt the woman's hand on her inner thigh, moving upward with a gentle insistence that made her legs quiver. "This is wrong. she managed to say, her voice trembling. "Wrong? Or does it feel so right?" the woman teased, her teeth grazing Debra's earlobe. The heat of her breath sent a shiver down Debra's spine.

The woman's hand found its way to Debra's core, and she gasped as the fingertips circled her clit with a slow, deliberate motion. "You're so wet," she whispered, her voice thick with desire. "You liked it last night, didn't you? The power, the control." Debra nodded, unable to form words as the woman began to unbutton her dress, revealing her naked body to the dim lit room.

The woman's touch was unlike anything Debra had ever felt before. It was as if she knew every inch of her, every sensitive spot that made her tremble with pleasure. Her mind raced with thoughts of Father Thomas, the confessional booth, and the power she had felt then. Was this the same kind of power? Or something entirely different?

The woman kissed her way down Debra's body, her tongue tracing the lines of her collarbone and the swell of her breasts. Debra couldn't help but arch into the kisses, her body responding despite the war raging in her conscience. The guilt was still there, but it was becoming harder to focus on it with the building crescendo of pleasure.

"Relax," the woman murmured, her hands deftly removing Debra's dress and panties. "Let go of your fears. You're safe here." Debra's eyes searched the room, looking for an escape, but all she found was the seductive dance of the woman’s alluring eyes. Her resistance was fading with every touch, every whispered word.

Debra finally relaxed sinking into the bed as the woman kissed her body. Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions - fear, guilt, excitement. But as the woman’s mouth closed over her nipple, she couldn’t help but let out a moan. The sensation was exquisite, a feeling of pleasure that seemed to consume her from the inside out. The woman groped Debra’s breast as she continued to kiss lower and lower.

“Your sister had a taste for the taboo too. She taught me everything I know. You’re more like her than you know.” The woman’s voice was a seductive purr that sent waves of desire through Debra’s body. She didn’t know what to make of that revelation but she didn’t have much time to think as the woman’s tongue slipped between her legs.

Debra moaned loudly as she felt the tongue deep within her. Her hands tangled in the orange hair of the woman, pulling her closer as the pleasure grew more intense. The woman chuckled, the vibrations sending shocks through Debra’s body. The woman's tongue was like a serpent, slithering around her clit, teasing and taunting her. Debra’s legs quivered as she felt her orgasm approaching.

The woman stopped suddenly as Debra opened her eyes. She looked at the woman staring back at her. “Please… don’t stop. I want to cum.” The woman’s smile grew wider as she licked her lips. “What are you Debra?”

“I’m a slut! I’m a bad girl” Debra shouted, feeling the release of her pent-up emotions. The woman’s eyes gleamed with satisfaction. “That’s my girl. Now imagine how much fun it would be to seduce Phil.” And with that, she went back to her task, her tongue working its magic as Debra’s body responded.

“Wait… Phil? No..” Debra protested weakly, her eyes widening in horror. But the words were lost in the whirlwind of sensations as the woman’s tongue flicked and danced around her clit. Her mind was racing with images of her stepfather, her mother’s kind smile, and the house she had called home for years. Yet, the woman’s touch was too intense to ignore.

The thought of her mother disappeared as she imagined riding Phil’s cock. She imagined corrupting her loving stepfather and making him hers. The thoughts were so taboo yet exciting. The woman’s tongue was relentless and Debra felt her orgasm building up. The woman pushed her head deeper between Debra’s legs as she felt her hands grasp her thighs.

“Oh God yes! I’m going to cum!” Debra screamed as the orgasm ripped through her body. The room spun around her as the woman’s tongue lapped up her juices. The woman didn’t stop even as Debra’s body convulsed with pleasure. She kept going until Debra begged for mercy.

Debra lay there panting, her mind reeling from the intense experience. The woman wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and grinned. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” she said, her voice thick with satisfaction. Debra nodded, unable to form coherent words.

Debra laid back and looked at the ceiling trying to make sense of what had happened. She just had sex with a woman and it was amazing.

“Who are you?”

“You can call me Hathor.”

[cntloup]

Endure

G/N!Reader fluff, angst

As soon as he steps through the door, you’re all over him, latching onto him like a lifeline and he puts his strong arms around you, pulling you impossibly close, it seems your two bodies become one. Finally in his warm embrace after so long... how long was it? it felt like an eternity. But now he’s finally home and you’re in each other’s arms, safe and secure. It feels like in that moment, time stops. Nothing else matters. Just two lovers and the burning flame of their love.

He pulls away ever so slightly to take a look at you with glossy eyes when he feels you shaking with sobs. “Love, I’m home now. Safe and sound.” he whispers as though if he spoke loudly, you’d shatter into pieces in his arms. He gently wipes your tears and captures your lips in a tender kiss, slowly putting you down on your feet. You start to wipe your tears quickly with such force, it makes your skin burn as you nervously laugh with a quiet “sorry”. But the tears don’t stop and you continue to sob as a mixture of emotions hit you, both happy and sad. You had to suffer from his absence for so long and now he’s here, standing right in front of you. You don’t know how to feel. He wipes his own tears that rolled down his cheeks when he saw you for the first time in such a long time also it broke his heart as you broke down into uncontrollable sobs in his arms. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug trying to comfort you repeating the words “It’s ok, love. Just breathe. I'm home.” and he has to feel you against his body again to make sure you’re real and not just a fragment of his imagination.

You start to slowly pull away and force a smile that reach your tear-stained cheeks but not your eyes. “Are you ok? No injuries?” “Just some scratches. Nothing to worry about, love.” You wonder if he’s playing it down again in order not to worry you or if he’s being honest. You take his hand in yours and guide him through the hallway into the living room where you have his favorite food ready for him and a bath upstairs. “You wanna eat first or take a bath?” “I’d like a bath first.”

While he’s inside the bathroom, you try to busy yourself with your own chores, but you can’t stop the thoughts that run through your mind every time while he’s away and comes back after so long. ‘How many times do I have to go through this?’ ‘How long do I have to endure this pain?’ Missing him, his touch, his smell, his unique way of loving you, him doting on you all the while you’re together, kissing his scars and showing him such a tender love and fierce devotion he’s never experienced before and showing him that he deserves it, missing everything about him... and dreading for his life every moment that he’s gone. He steps out of the bathroom, a towel hanging low around his torso, interrupting your thoughts. At any other time, you’d jump him right then and there, but you’re too lost in your head right now to focus much on your surroundings, but still you walk up to him to make sure there’s really no serious injuries on him and he lets you then you let out a sigh of relief when you don’t find any. You face him with a smile but he can see right through you “You ok, love?” he mutters after kissing you gently. You can’t keep up the facade as it hurts too much and you never really want to act in front of him. With him, you can be yourself... even show the darkest parts of your soul and be sure that he will stay. “It hurts, Si!” you choke out after a few moments of silence as you start crying. “What?” he asks worriedly with a confused expression on his face. “You being away for so long and when you come back, I have to pretend like it’s nothing and it doesn’t shatter my heart every time. And while you are home, I know it will end eventually and you will leave again-” a loud sob interrupts your words. You inhale deeply and go on “I’m not saying it’s your fault. I know it’s your job and I’m not asking you to give it up. I knew from the start what I signed up for. But it doesn’t help the fucking pain and torment I have to go through every fucking time.” You say the last part through gritted teeth as the anger and frustration bubble up inside you and turn your head to face him as you both sit on the edge of the bed now and see the tears rolling down his cheeks “It hurts me just as much, love. And I want you to know that you’re the only thing that keeps me going and I promise that I will come back to you every time.”

“Promise you’ll be extra careful?” “Pinky promise.” he replies with a chuckle and locks your pinkies together as you set your eyes on him with a genuine smile this time. “I know it’s something I have to deal with on my own. It’s a weight I must carry myself because I love you... because you are worth the pain.” You utter with a lump in your throat. He can’t believe the words that reach his ears ‘Is this a dream?’ ‘How did I end up with such a patient and understanding person?’ He looks at you as though you're his whole life... his everything. He feels guilty and ashamed of himself that he puts you through this. He feels like he’s torturing you. “I can ask Price to lower my deployment numbers.” He’s sorry that it’s all he can do for now. “For now... we’ll see what the future holds.” “You mean-?” “Yes, love. I will retire eventually. In the near future.” You jump into his arms gleefully with a wide grin on your face making him laugh. He kisses you passionately and you pull away only when you run out of breath. He starts kissing all over your face whispering I love you’s over and over again. “I love you too, Si.” you reply with the same grin on your beautiful face which makes him truly happy every time he sees it.

comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥ 

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 2 Subtitle Corrections

Subtitle Corrections: Ep 1 here

Cultural/Language Tidbits: Ep 2 here

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks to everyone reading the first post and geeking out with me in the notes, I really appreciate it XD Ok, Ep 2, let's go! Sorry in advance for the length!

If you're wondering why Yoh's freaking out about the rainy season even though they've been together for 3 years, the manga artist posted a clarification on twitter:

By the way, “it’s been 3 years since then” – that phrase refers to it being 3 years since that conversation regarding the slave contract. As for living together, they’ve only just started (to do so) around Mar/April*, so (at this point) it’s only been a few months (for them). What if (I) got it wrong…. I remember making a note of it, but the file that I wrote it in and passed over (to the crew) couldn’t be found right, so… (was it) a dream?” *Japan's rainy season comes around June/July, so this means that this is the first rainy season these two have been experienced together.

[Y: まずっ] Y: Tastes bad In case the original "that sucks" sounds like Yoh might be talking about the news of the young forecaster - he's really just talking about the food here.

[S: 遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう] Original: I told you not to bother since I returned late Mine: I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right? This is actually a pretty harsh sounding line tbh. It's sort of inkeeping with Segasaki's curtness, but still pretty harsh - so this tells us he's tired after a long day, and explains the frown on his face that Yoh just wipes away with his cuteness

Nikujaga literally means meat and potatoes. It's a stewed dish and a very well-loved comfort food. Super easy to make too (link goes to an easy to follow recipe, and the site also explains a little about the dish).

[Y: 本当、顔だけはいいよな] Y: Really, it's only his face that looks good.

I've talked about this in my cultural/language tidbits for this episode (linked up top) but I'll add it here for completion's sake

[Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です*] (Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu*) Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* Yoh let's his sentence trail off before tacking on a "desu" at the end. "Desu" is an ending verb characteristic of "polite" speech, which Yoh doesn't use frequently with Segasaki (in fact, by this point, he has not used polite speech with Segasaki at all, except for maybe saying the full form of the word "welcome home", and even that's pushing it). Here he adds it at the end as an afterthought (the polite form of "iya" would be "iie", if he had wanted the whole sentence to be polite from the get go), which tells us that Yoh's feeling a little off-kilter here, and does introduce the slightest distance between him and Segasaki. We'll see this distance increase as the episode goes on.

[Y: いや、どう考えても食べ過ぎだろう] Y: No but, no matter which way you look at it, (he's) eaten way too much hasn't he? Btw, if your hair started standing at the spoon scraping the pot - in the manga artist's post about visiting the shooting venue (as well as during Ep 1 twitter space) it was mentioned that Mashiko, the actor, can actually cook, so during filming they had to tell him what someone who can't would likely do, and also asked him to do the housework poorly (because Yoh's not supposed to be good at cooking or housework hahaha)

この人*、明日も朝早いんだよな。たぶん。 Original: This guy, has an early morning again tomorrow. Probably. Mine: This person*, has (to leave) early tomorrow morning too. Probably. *The word here is "kono hito", literally "this person". There's actually nothing wrong with the translation "this guy" tbh because that's a fairly neutral term in English, but I'm highlighting it here because in his monologues, Yoh usually refers to Segasaki using much rougher language, such as "koitsu, aitsu", except when he addresses Segasaki directly in his head. I'll talk more about how Yoh addresses Segasaki in the analysis post, but for now - this sentence hints that Yoh has clocked Segasaki's tiredness (subconsciously or not) and is feeling a little bad for him. Then again he quickly hides that by adding on "probably". (Adding the word "probably" behind your sentence is a common way to express doubt/negate what you just said, and incidentally is commonly used by comedians to deliver a punchline).

[Y: あの*…あの…寝るなら部屋でとおもって。] Original: Um… Hey… You should go back to your room. Mine: Um*... Um... if you're going to sleep then, (it would be better to sleep) in your room - at least that's what I thought...

*"あの…" (ano…), translated as "um" here, is a common sound you use when you want to get someone's attention but don't want to sound too demanding - it actually isn't being polite per se, but it does show the hesitancy with which Yoh approaches him. Contrast this with the way Segasaki gets Yoh's attention (so far it's just been "Yoh" or "Oi" - the latter of which you would NOT use unless you were close to the person, or looking for a fight).

As a general rule of thumb, the level of politeness in Japanese is directly correlated with the length of the sentence and just how far you can beat around the bush. So, Yoh's suggestion that Segasaki goes to sleep in his room is literally just "if sleeping, then room..." and everything else in that translation is assumed. He may not being using polite speech forms here (that would be "to omoimashita" instead of "to omotte") but this is still a common way to be polite because he's making a suggestion that is so mild Segasaki can choose to ignore it. This is a great example of Brown & Levinson's "negative politeness" which we'll revisit when analysing their speech patterns, and which you can read about in entirely too much detail here (free to read).

[Y: じゅあ、俺は寝るので** あの、その、そういうことで、おやすみ] Original: Then, I’ll go to sleep. That…sort of thing. Good night. Mine: So then, I'm going to bed, therefore**... Um... that... with that... night!

"Therefore" is an awkward translation for the word ので (node), which is more often translated as "so". I've chosen to use that word because "node", whilst again not a polite form per se, is less colloquial than the more commonly used "から(kara)", to mean the same thing. It tends to pop up more in writing than in speech. "Therefore" doesn't make a sentence polite/formal in English, but it's definitely less colloquial than using the word "so". The use of "node" is just that tiny bit out of place in this sentence paired with the informal pronoun "ore" for "I" as opposed to the more formal choice of "boku".

Again, Yoh answers Segasaki properly here with a "はい (hai)" as opposed to his usual "un" (which is a sound that expresses agreement), when told that Segasaki will be late again. There actually aren't very many moments where Yoh does speak politely to Segasaki (he's definitely rude when he talks about Segasaki in his head hahaha), so these moments stand out. This whole short exchange, together with the random -desu he added earlier, just make Yoh's sentences a little more stilted/awkward, and more distant. Individually they don't deserve much mention at all, but together, and in the context of his jealousy, show just how unsure Yoh is about where he stands with Segasaki.

[Y: あの人の帰宅が遅くなり] Y: That person returned home later and later

"That person" - similar to the above usage of "this person". This sentence is incomplete - the verb form of the last word - 遅くなり (osokunari) indicates that there should be a second part to the sentence (the "completed" form would be osokunatta). But after he says this, there is a pregnant pause, as Yoh puts his phone down and continues cooking alone. The pause continues all the way into the next scene, before the sentence continues, highlighting the loneliness that Yoh feels.

[Y: 当然、触れられることもないままに] Original: Of course, he did not touch me at all Mine: (and) of course, (I) remained untouched (by him) as well

The literal translation for this would be "(the situation in which I) was not touched (by him) continued on as well". Yoh uses the passive form of the word "touch", which places the emphasis on Yoh "receiving" the action of being touched as opposed to placing the emphasis on Segasaki "carrying out" the action of touching Yoh. Consider the difference between the sentences "I was hurt by him" and "he hurt me". The former is the passive form, and is super common in Jp, much less common in Eng. If this is confusing - welcome to Jp grammar just know that the emphasis of this line is more on what Yoh does not have, rather than what Segasaki has not done. It accentuates Yoh's feelings of emptiness and loss.

Y: すっかり日々は過ぎて Y: The days pass by completely ...

Similarly, this sentence is "incomplete", and is instead continued by Segasaki walking in and telling Yoh he'll be late again. (This whole bit just hurts my soul tbh, Yoh is so lonely. )

This is a teruteru bouzu aka a charm of sorts for good weather. See the cultural tidbits post for Ep 2 linked up top for more info!

This is said really strongly, and gives the "what the hell are you doing" feel. Yoh's truly upset here.

I try not to care about some of the subs in these side conversations because they don't add much to the main story and these posts are already too long, but this sentence should really be "Dammit, maybe I should (go) troll the chat" (and the previous sentence should be "If this was broadcasted in a certain country it would be instant death" aka N.Korea ^^;) and I just think it was a nice touch to hint at the fandom wars/flaming that goes on between fans hahaha

[Y: しんどい] Y: This is too draining The word here used is "shindoi", which is a term used when you're feeling mentally/physically exhausted/drained, and carries a sense of frustration (at feeling this way) and sometimes (emotional) pain.

This. Is. Huge. Segasaki does 2 things here - one, he rejects an after-work meal, which you rarely do because Japan is all about the group and rejecting a group invite, to welcome a new member, can make you seem like you aren't a team player - two, the guy who invites him is his senior, which you can tell because Segasaki sticks to polite speech forms whilst the other guy does not. It's still relatively casual, so you can tell he's got a good working relationship with them (probably why he's not worried about rejecting them) but still. In Segasaki's world, Yoh is the No. 1 priority.

This is more accurately "WTF". There are many sounds in Japanese that aren't exactly words, but carry a lot of meaning - "Haa?!" is one of them, and is a very rude way to express a lot of anger and shock. Please, never say this in real life. You will royally piss off whoever it's directed at and if you are outside a Shibuya bar you will get punched.

The word used here is てめぇ (temee), which is a really rude way to say "you", and has the same energy as "you bastard". Segasaki usually uses the informal pronoun "omae" for "you" when he talks to Yoh, he's definitely pissed off here.

This is the same word, "shindoi" again.

I'm going to put the rest of the whole argument here with just my translation because it's too long to screencap the whole thing.

[S: 何なんだよ？このエロい惨状は Y: うるさい。 Y: 俺は売れっ子エロ漫画家になるんだ S: なんだそりゃ。おい *takes away beer can* Y: 売れっ子さんが　シコリながらネーム描くと　いいのができるって言ってた S: なんも描けてなかったぞ。 S: おい、だめだっつってんの S: 飲みすぎ　出すもん出して　寝てただけだろう Y: 黙れ！ Y: 俺はエロくて　抜ける漫画描いて　いっぱい稼いで Y: 早く　こんなとこ出ていくんだ S: はあ？　おい、お前　どういうつもりだよ Y: どうもこうもないよ！ Y: 平気で抱かれてると思うなよ 。 Y: 俺のこと、好きでもないくせに Y: 便利な奴隷としか思ってないんだろう？そんなにやりたきゃ隣のキャスターとやってろよ S: お前　さっきから　何を... Y: 俺はあんな風に笑いかけられたことない]

Breakdown: S: What's up with this? This lewd disaster of a scene Y: (You're) annoying! ["うるさい (urusai)" is often translated as "shut up", but it literally means someone is being "noisy", and here is more of a complaint that Segasaki is being bothersome] Y: I'm going to become a hot-selling erotica manga artist! [the word used here is 売れっ子 (urekko), which literally means "someone who gets huge sales" and mostly refers to idols, entertainers, TV personalities etc. So Yoh is not just saying he's going to become popular, he's saying he's gonna be like a celebrity manga artist, which is why Segasaki snorts a little at this] S: What's with that? Hey. *takes away beer can* Y: The hot sellers say that if you jerk off whilst drawing your storyboard, you'll come up with good stuff [urekko-san is a pretty cute way of referring to these popular artists] S: You've not drawn anything, you know? [this is said with a really indulgent air, which contrasts directly with the more authoritative tone of the next line] S: Hey, I'm telling you no more *grabs beer can* S: You drank too much. You just shot what you shot and then went to sleep didn't you? [And this is back to an indulgent tone - also, everyone knows Segasaki is talking about cumming here, he just doesn't actually say it so directly] Y: Shut up! ["黙れ (damare) - contrast with "urusai" earlier. The former is used much less commonly and really does mean to "be quiet". This is why Segasaki pauses and looks at Yoh. Up until now Segasaki just thinks Yoh's gotten drunk and is whining cutely, but this word means things are serious.] Y: I'm going to draw manga that is erotic, that you can wank off to, and then earn lots of money [this is a call back to the conversation with Man-san over the phone in Ep 1, which I did not include earlier because I didn't think it was important to the story when Yoh says "the work that was released last month was amazing! There was a big buzz around the topic "I can't wank off (to this)" - Yoh was being sarcastic here, meaning that he got reviews that his work wasn't erotic enough] Y: and leave this sort of place soon! S: What? Hey - what (the hell) are you thinking? [Again, "haa?" here shows he does NOT like what Yoh's saying, but he does soften the end of the sentence with a "yo"] Y: I'm not thinking of anything! Y: Embracing me so easily - don't think you can (keep on) doing that [again, this is the passive form, so the emphasis is on Yoh being embraced, and here has the nuance of "don't think I'll just (keep on) being fine with being embraced (by you) like it's some sort of norm"] Y: when you don't even like me [this line has quite a bit of bitterness in it - the emphasis here is strongly on Segasaki and his apparent "non-liking" of Yoh my english is dying.] Y: You think of me as just a convenient slave, don't you? Y: If you want to do it that much, go do it with that forecaster next to you! S: You... from the start... what have (you been saying?) Y: I have never been smiled at like that before [again, this is in passive voice]

It's obvious from the acting alone that this entire argument is pretty emotionally charged - this is also reflected in the language because Yoh uses the pronoun "ore (I)" a lot. Pronouns are frequently dropped in Japanese - often you can go an entire conversation without ever uttering the words "I/me" or "you", in part because the pronouns are assumed and also because emphasis on an individual can come across as too selfish/narcissistic or direct. Segasaki uses them often enough with Yoh, which fits his personality, but Yoh normally doesn't. So, when he uses "ore" here it stands out - his plans to be successful and leave, his feelings, his interpretation of Segasaki's actions - all of the emphasis is on his own self. The message is very clear - Yoh is hurting a lot more than he is blaming or accusing Segasaki.

[Y: もう疲れた。あんたといると疲れる。嫌いだ S: お前　酒入るとめちゃくちゃしゃべるんだな Y: ねぇ、何で雨の時はだめなの？ S: はあ？　だって、お前が言ったんだろう] Y: (I'm) tired out. When (I'm) with you, (I) get tired. Hate it. [We've lost the "I" pronouns here, because the emphasis is on the extreme sense of physical and emotional fatigue as opposed to Yoh himself, and on how much he dislikes that feeling. Of note, "hate" here is closer to "detest/really dislike" - the word is "kirai" - which is not as strong as the word "nikui" which we talked about in Ep 1 when Yoh said he hated the part of him that always listened to Segasaki. Also, this is the first time Yoh has addressed Segasaki with the pronoun "you" out loud - he uses "あんた anta", which he also used in his head in Ep 1, after they did it. Again, we'll talk about this in the analysis post in the future, but for now just know that this term is usually used between older couples.] S: You... once you start drinking you really start talking huh? [literally, you "become able to talk"] Y: Hey...why is it when it rains, (we) can't do it? S: What? Because, you said so didn't you? [the last "haa?" from Segasaki! This time expressing his surprise and slight indignation.]

[S: 俺は優しいんだ] S: I. am. Kind. Great example of Segasaki's use of the "ore" pronoun here to quite literally emphasise how great he is. "優しい (kind)" in Japanese carries the connotation of being thoughtful, anticipating the other person's needs and wants and then meeting them etc. It's a characteristic that people often say they look for in their potential partners.

[S: そもそも、なんだ先の言いぐさは 好きじゃないだの　出ていきたいだの お前　俺のプロポーズを受けといてよくそんなことが言えんな S: 養ってやる*っつってんだ　プロポーズ以外になに] S: In the first place, what was with those things you said earlier? That you don't like me, that you want to leave... You... that was rich, saying all that after accepting my proposal. S: I was saying I'd provide and care* for you. If that's not a proposal than what is? ["養ってやる" is a pretty possessive way to say I'll provide for you - it's the same word used when referring to parent providing for a child, or an owner providing for a small animal. It's not rude per se, but it does imply a power imbalance. Segasaki actually sort of has a point here because... this is not something you say to someone else unless you're in a relationship ^^;]

S: ていうかお前、俺のこと嫌いなんだ S: どうなの S: Actually about that... so you hate me huh? S: Which is it?

S: ふーん。あ、そ S: Ohh..? I see. ふーん (Ohh..?) - Segasaki says this a lot, especially in this episode. This is another one of those sounds that isn't a word but carries a lot of meaning. It has a dismissive sort of tone to it, like you've already assumed something or when you're pretty nonchalant/not impressed about whatever the other person has said and are just playing along with them by giving them some attention (so again, if you use it wrongly, it can piss people off). Segasaki uses it whenever Yoh goes mute or shy, as a way to tease Yoh - though Yoh seems to think Segasaki is dismissing/not interested in his answer. あ、そ (A, so) - again, Segasaki says this a lot - can be interpreted as "oh really?/I see/is that so?" - Combined with the above, you can see why Yoh often thinks Segasaki isn't interested in his answer, and even when he does recognise it as teasing, he gets too flustered to do anything about it.

This seems to have gotten longer, if you reached the end - congratulations! I hope this makes it a little clearer why it's so obvious to us as the viewer that Segasaki is really quite patient with Yoh, and is waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, but at the same time so confusing for Yoh, because of the way many of these interactions can be read both ways. In Ep 3, we'll really be able to get into their dynamics because they've got so much more interaction together.

[bqstqnbruin]

Just Friends - Part 5

So yes I did forget to post yesterday because I fell asleep super early instead of acting as a functioning member of society but now I'm sick anyway so whoops

Read the previous part here

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of death, swearing

WC: 4776

Enjoy!

___________________

Emeline didn’t want to be out right now. After the week she had? The already minimal amount of time she had to herself with her students coming to see her every free moment she had? What was she going to do, say no to them? Yet, here she was, in a loud, crowded, slightly putrid smelling bar, with Fran and Maddy, who had way too much energy considering they also experienced what sounded like a week from hell. 

Fran, on one hand, was reamed out by one of their company's clients for something that wasn’t her fault, all while they praised her male coworkers for the things they were mad at her for. Her dad took her side, thankfully, and said they wouldn’t work together anymore if they were going to treat people like that, but still. Maddy, on the other hand, had the worst patients of the week, all of them seeming to be the same degree and angry and petulant, practically refusing her care and help. One of the older patients was pissed and asked for a different nurse because she didn’t like that Maddy had tattoos, and then didn’t speak to Maddy for her entire stay because there were no other nurses who could take care of the crotchety old woman. 

It was the first week since they were in college that the three of them all immediately went to their rooms upon coming home from work. Normally at least one of them lingered in their living room so that if the other two felt the need to rant or yell about anything, someone was there to listen. But this week, clearly, was bad. 

Emeline was sitting at a bar stool on her phone, Fran and Maddy on one side of her, ranting to each other, Emeline barely listening to Maddy’s rant about her patient.

“Where did the name Maude come from? That sounds like a crotchety old woman's name.”

“Isn’t that a shade of purple?” Fran asks, trying to get the attention of the bartender, who had been practically ignoring the three of them the entire time they were there. 

“That’s mauve, babe,” Emeline finally pipes in. 

Maddy tries to hide her laugh, knowing that confusing the two things was unlike Fran, but still incredibly funny. “What do you want to drink?” she tries to ask Emeline, failing miserably not to laugh.

“Usual,” she says, not looking up from the screen. Fran orders her a coke, the bartender clearly annoyed that there wasn’t any alcohol mixed into it. Emeline looks up just in time to see Fran giving the bartender a death stare, him slinking away as soon as their drinks are ready. 

“I swear to god,” Fran starts, yanking both Maddy and Emeline from their stools and into the crowd, “people are so ignorant when someone doesn’t want to drink alcohol.”

Fran was starting to seethe, the same speech about to start whenever someone gives even the slightest weird look about not ordering alcohol. “Fran, it’s fine. We’re at a bar, of course it’s weird that someone is ordering something without alcohol,” Emeline tries to calm her down.

“She could be DD,” Maddy points out.

“She shouldn’t need a reason to not drink.” 

“She is right here and, I’m telling you, it’s fine,” Emeline cuts in, knowing her roommates would keep up their conversation whether she said that or not. 

“Why can’t the five of us go out for once without having someone make a backhanded comment about Emeline’s drinking,” Fran continues.

“The only ones who commented were you two,” Emeline points out. “And, I only see three of us.”

Fran takes her by the shoulders, angling her towards the back corner. “Jeremy and Johnny are here.” Emeline can feel her heart racing at the mention of Jeremy, a reaction she wasn’t sure why it was happening even though she couldn’t even see him. “Or, more than five, it looks like they brought some of the team with them.”

Jeremy didn’t tell her they were meeting them tonight. Emeline and Jeremy had been texting all day when he wasn’t playing. They had an afternoon matinee earlier that day, getting the luxury of a late practice the next day before their game Monday night, all at home. He came over after the game while Maddy and Fran were out, and talked about how the girls were going out. They talked about how Keelan was away on a business trip in South Carolina for a while, right up until Thanksgiving, doing god knows what and that she wouldn’t even be seeing him until after her birthday. 

Fran drives Emeline towards the boys, Emeline feeling her mouth go dry as the group finally comes into her line of sight. Jeremy was wearing what looked like to be all black, Emeline’s heart racing at the sight of him. 

She chugs as much of her soda as she can in a few seconds, trying to shake off whatever she was feeling.

She just missed Keelan. She hadn’t seen him in a week, and she wasn’t going to see him for another two at least.

That was it.

It was just her missing Keelan. 

“We only know two of you, who are you?” Fran demands, plopping Emeline down next to Jeremy, Emeline suddenly very self conscious about what she was wearing. She didn’t have a lot of ‘going out clothes,’ her wardrobe consisting of sweats, t-shirts, and shorts, or her teaching clothes. Trying to find something that Fran and Maddy would let her out of the apartment in for a bar consisted of her wearing one of three shirts she stole from Fran during college, like the Beatles crop top and flannel she had on now and one of the pairs of pants she stole from Maddy, a pair of looser fitting navy blue pants that were tied at her waist. 

“You weren’t kidding,” one of them says, turning to Johnny who just shrugs.

“You really can't make up Francesca.”

“Either you tell me your names or I’m making up nicknames for you all.”

“She’s more aggressive than normal,” Jeremy whispers to Emeline, his thigh on the seat knocking into hers. 

“She’s only worse when she’s drunk,” Emeline tells him, turning towards him. He was much closer than she had expected him to be, trying not to look startled by his face right in hers. Not that she did anything to move away.

She missed Keelan.

Emeline clears her throat, backing away slightly. “Um, what are you drinking?” she asks, trying to change the subject.

“Rum and coke.” 

“Come on, Muppet Boy,” Fran interrupts, pulling their attention back to the rest of the group. 

“That’s not even creative,” the still unnamed teammate tries to argue, a look of awe covering his face. “She never said they were going to be creative,” Maddy points out. 

Fran launches into an argument with Muppet Boy, or Trent as Emeline had figured out based on the rest of the guys calling him that. From what Jeremy had told her, Trent was about two years older than Emeline, from St. Louis, and apparently a little unhinged when it came to him being on the ice with any guy that he didn’t like. If Fran hadn’t already probably pissed him off, she could see the two of them hitting it off. Instead, they were sitting there fighting over something that probably didn’t matter. 

Fran was enchanting the rest of the teammates with whatever slightly drunken tirade she was going on, Emeline still unsure of who the other guys around them were. Johnny and Maddy were already off in their own world, somehow slipping away from the rest of the group without Emeline noticing. 

“Mason is next to Trent,” Jeremy starts, someone reading her mind, only getting closer to Emeline as he talks. “Then, Charlie Mac, Brandon, Justin, and Morgan.” 

Emeline shakes her head, “No way I remember that.”

“Oh, come on,” Jeremy scoffs, nudging Emeline with his shoulder, sending a shiver through her body. Fuck her involuntary reactions to missing her boyfriend. “You have like ninety students whose names you told me you remembered in a week. You can remember six guys' names.”

Emeline looks over at Jeremy, watching him smile as he listened to his teammates. The slight crinkle by his eyes when he laughs, throwing his head back, making her heart warm as she drinks her coke. It tasted off, Emeline thinking nothing of it as she got unreasonably lost looking at him.

"You could eat a bunch of scrabble tiles and shit them out and whatever they say is going to make more sense than whatever the fuck just came out of your mouth,” Emeline hears Fran say, the guys laughing as Trent stares at her, dumbfounded. 

“Do you wanna dance?” she asks him out of the blue, not loud enough for anyone in their group to hear her.

Jeremy smiles and nods, both of them getting up, Emeline stumbling as she does. Why did she feel weird? She didn’t know what it was, but she felt almost spacey, the only word she could think of to describe it. All she had was her soda. 

Jeremy steadies her, his hand spreading across her lower back as he leads her out of sight of the rest of his teammates and Fran. 

Emeline felt like she was looking through a pair of glasses that were the wrong prescription, the room spinning slightly but Jeremy keeping her planted on the ground, his arms wrapped around her while she drapes her arms on his shoulders. She could feel his heartbeat, or maybe it was hers? She couldn’t tell. She felt weird.

“Woah, you really did a number on that drink, didn’t you?” Jeremy asks her.

“What?”

“The rum and coke? You started drinking from mine, but since we had the same drink, I figured it didn’t matter,” he explains, his words going right through her mind. 

All she had was her coke, not Jeremy’s. 

Emeline shakes her head, not caring about how she felt. Jeremy with her arms around her was all she cared about. She rested her head on his chest, his chin resting perfectly on top. He held her tighter, the two of them not at all moving in sync with the music around them. Emeline could feel his heartbeat against her head, sinking with the pounding she was starting to feel in her own head. She could smell his cologne, lavender and grapefruit, two of her favorite scents that she didn’t even know existed for men. 

Keelan had a cologne that always made Emeline cough, no matter how much or how little he put on. 

Emeline had no idea how long the two of them were dancing together like that, whatever space possible between them closed immediately. She had never felt this close to Keelan before. 

“Em,” Jeremy whispers, his voice hoarse. “I think everyone else is leaving.” 

Emeline looks up at Jeremy, his face again, so close to hers. She could kiss him right there. Her mind tried to find a reason why she shouldn’t just take his face in her hands and pull him in to do just that.

Keelan.

“Pizza.”

“What?”

Emeline eyes wander over Jeremy’s shoulder, the neon sign of the pizza place across the street flashing, ‘open’ at them. “I need pizza.”

She takes his hand, dragging him across the street with her. Jeremy pays for the box, despite her protests, telling her it was only on the condition that he got at least half. They were just close enough to their building that they could justify walking if they really wanted to, Emeline feeling incredibly warm despite it being November in Boston. 

They walked through the streets, Jeremy holding on to the box as Emeline stumbled every few steps, his free hand on her back just like it was in the bar to steady her. 

“I have never wanted anything more in my life,” Emeline tells him, walking up the stairs to their floor. Emeline opens the door, hearing music blasting from inside, shutting the door and turning to Jeremy faster than he can process. Jeremy ends up accidentally pinning her to the door, his breath momentarily syncing with hers despite his heart beating out of control. 

He clears his throat, stepping back while praying that his cheeks weren’t too noticeably red. “What’s wrong?”

“Fran has girl in red playing,” Emeline tells him.

“And?”

“That means she has someone in the apartment.”

“Ok?”

“No, I mean,” she tries to pull her thoughts together, the process incredibly difficult. “She is sleeping with someone in the apartment.”

“And that means we can’t go in?”

“Last time I walked in when I heard girl in red playing, I found a bra that was not Fran’s flung over the TV and boxers that were also not Fran’s on the floor by the couch. Fran and her hook up were in the hallway and on their way to the bathtub? There might have been someone already in there, but I’m still not sure, to this day.”

“That makes a lot of sense for Fran,” Jeremy laughs, handing the pizza to Emeline and dragging her down the hall towards his apartment. He opens the door, Nickelback blasting before he pulls the same move Emeline did moments earlier. “If Nickelback is playing, Johnny has a girl over.”

Emeline can’t help but laugh. “He has sex to Nickelback?”

“The girls don’t normally come back for a second night.” The two of them stand in the hallway, neither of them able to really go into their apartments. “So what do we do? Sit and eat the pizza right here?”

Emeline tries to think for a second, her head cloudy as she forces herself to remember what happened the last time Maddy or Fran had someone over and she came home sooner than they expected. She remembered scratching her leg, telling Fran, she thinks it was, that she was lucky she didn’t need stitches or any type of shot because of it. 

It finally dawns on her, a sly smile on her face as she grabs Jeremy’s hand and leads him back down the stairs. 

“Emeline, where are we going?” 

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life.” He smiles at her, her heart skipping a beat as she continues leading him down the stairs and back outside while she yells at him to keep the pizza safe. “The fire escape?”

Emeline laughs, jumping up to try to pull the ladder down, missing the first few times until Jeremy reaches over her to help her pull it down. She turns back and reaches for the pizza, Jeremy pointedly keeping it out of reach.

“Emeline, no.”

“Why not?”

“You’re going to drop it if you try to hold it and go up the ladder with it like I think you want to.”

“Like you’ll do better?” 

Jeremy goes in front of her, unable to hide the smile on his face as he moves up the ladder, not even sure why she was leading him this way as he pulls himself up with one hand while trying to keep his balance, the other hand holding Emeline’s sacred pizza. 

“Don’t let it tip,” she calls, climbing up behind him. “You’ll let the cheese fall off and then you’ll ruin it.” 

He can’t help but laugh, pretending to start to lose his balance while Emeline yells at him again. “You care more about the pizza than you do about me, don’t you? What if I were falling with the pizza and you could only save one of us?”

“Right now, I choose the pizza if you’re going to be mean to me.” 

He finally reaches their floor, Emeline’s room right next to them as he holds his hand out to help her up the final two steps. Her hand was starting to get cold from the winter air around them. Jeremy watches in awe as she manages to get her window open from the outside, watching her struggle to hold the heaving frame open. “You should keep this locked if you’re not home.”

“We always unlock each other's windows if we have someone over and someone needs to get in,” Emeline explains. 

“How often does that happen?” Jeremy says, Emeline not noticing his inability to stop staring at her as she practically folds herself in half in order to get herself inside while keeping the window from closing on her. That was how, she remembers, she cut her leg last time; the window closed as she was pulling herself in. 

He hands her the pizza that she so carefully puts down on the floor next to her, Emeline trying to keep the window open for him while he tries to follow her in. 

“Enough times that I can’t believe I forgot this is how we do it.”

Her mind was blank while she watched him climb in, his foot catching on the sill as she starts to close it, Jeremy tripping as the window slams behind them, taking them both down against the floor. Emeline bursts out laughing, sure that this response is not how she would normally react to a man that was not her boyfriend falling on top of her, feeling weirdly ok with it. “Well, that’s one way to do it.” 

The two of them situate themselves, the box of pizza on one side of Emeline, Jeremy on her other. They lean against her bed, her head falling back as she lifts a slice of her much awaited pizza, the smile growing on her face. “This is the best thing ever,” she tells him, her head feeling much more clear, though with a slight headache, than it had back at the bar. 

“It really is,” Jeremy agrees, reaching over her to grab his own slice, the tips of his fingers grazing her thigh and sending a chill through her body.

The two of them eat in silence, clearing off all but two slices in what was probably too little time for their own health.

“Hey, Em?” Jeremy asks.

“Hm?”

“You don’t drink,” he asks, his phrasing sounding more like a statement than a question.

Emeline picks up another piece of pizza, picking off some of the cheese from the end. “I was a little drunk tonight, wasn’t I?” she asks, Jeremy nodding but her not looking to see the confirmation. “My dad was killed by a drunk driver.”

“Emeline,” Jeremy starts, letting out a sigh that made him sound like he was deflating.

She shakes her head, resting one of her hands on his thigh without thinking, not caring about how natural it felt as he took her hand in his, their fingers intertwining perfectly. “It’s one of those things where I’m not sure what could have happened that would have stopped it, other than the guy not drinking.”

“Emeline,” Jeremy says again.

“I just have a hard time bringing myself to drink when I know that drinking is what cut my dad’s life shorter than it needed to be.”

“Emeline.”

“I mean,” she says, her voice catching in her throat. “Why would I do something where I lose control? I have so many things that I can’t control as it is. I can plan out every minute that I want to teach and there is still no way to possibly follow it. I can plan my schedule for the entire day, know exactly when I’m going to work on what, but something, or someone, without fail, with come up and force me to rethink everything. I can plan the T being late but even though it always is, it’s late a different amount of time every time I’m leaving school. Or the one time I think I have it, my train leaves early.”

“Em.”

She could feel her eyes starting to water, trying her best to fight back the tears. “I couldn’t control my grandmother getting old and passing away when I was in college, which, that wasn’t much of a shock because you expect someone to die when they’re older. But I couldn’t control when I broke my leg during sophomore year and had to sit out the end of the season. I couldn’t control when we lost the championship for a second time while we were because I was out. I couldn’t control my mom not wanting me and leaving me before she even got the chance to see who I would become.”

Jeremy takes the pizza from her hand and throws it into the box, pulling her into his chest as she finally lets out the sob she was holding back. 

She hadn’t cried about her mom in years. She thought about finding out her dad had died a lot, but never to the point where it brought her to tears. Same with her grandmother. She couldn’t believe that she was sitting on her bedroom floor with Jeremy, his arms around her making her feel safe.

His hand was in her hair, Emeline feeling him place a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He pulls away slightly, neither of them releasing the other from their hold. She wanted to lean in. She could ask him right now if he would kiss her, regardless of if she was just crying or not. 

It was the alcohol.

But isn’t there something about how the things you want to do when you’re drunk are what you wish you could do when you’re sober? Was she just making that up?

Before either of them could say anything, Emeline’s phone starts buzzing, Keelan’s name appearing on the screen, the two of them practically launching off each other like two teenagers being caught by parents. 

Emeline stares at her phone, debating whether or not to answer it, Jeremy sitting as far away as he could. She hadn’t thought of Keelan in what felt like hours, let alone talked to him for him to know that she would still be up. Normally, she would be asleep right now, which is why him calling was even weirder, like he called knowing it would wake her up. 

But she wasn’t asleep, for once. She wasn’t talking to her boyfriend. Instead, Emeline almost just cheated on him with someone she didn’t realize she wanted to be with.

What was she supposed to do, though? She watched as the call went to voicemail, picking up her piece of pizza and staring at it. Her relationship with Keelan was one of the only things she could control, especially when it felt like everything else was spiraling.  

___________________________

The next morning, Emeline woke up with a headache that hadn’t gone away from the night before, the first and hopefully last hangover she would have. She walked to the kitchen, finding Maddy and Fran already nursing coffee and bagels from one of the local places, Emeline’s order waiting for her on the kitchen table. 

“What happened last night?” Emeline asks.

“I hate people,” Fran mumbles, not making eye contact. “That guy last night asked for my number and hasn’t texted me,” she explains.

“That’s normal though,” Emeline points out.

“Guys are idiots. They wait too long to text back. He’s probably just asleep still,” Maddy adds, pointing to the clock on their stove that showed it was 8:00 am, an ungodly hour to be awake given how late they were all up the night before. 

“It’s not that,” Fran sighs, covering her eyes with her hands. “I found his instagram, and he has a girlfriend.”

“Oh, so we’re killing him.” 

“Tell the girlfriend as soon as he texts you. Don’t even save the number so she can see it’s him, whatever he says,” Emelien tells her, Fran just nodding, looking upset.

“I got railed,” Maddy almost gloats, rather uncharacteristically, Fran and Emeline immediately snapping their attention to her.

“Hello?”

“By who?”

“I thought you swore off men.”

“I thought you only needed yourself to pleasure yourself.”

“And the rainbow dildo we bought as part of her graduation gift.”

“Guys, I’m telling the story, here?” Maddy chimes in. 

“Who was it?”

“How was it?”

“You two are worse than those talk show women,” Maddy groans, not hiding the smile on her face. “Who he is doesn’t matter. Other than his playlist choice, it was,” Maddy sighs, a gooey-lovey expression on her face that her roommates had never seen before. “God, it was great.”

“What was the playlist choice?” Emeline asks, her and Fran leaning closer. Maddy was throwing them crumbs, they needed more.

“It had a lot of Nickelback for some reason.” Emeline chokes on her coffee when the realization hits her, Fran laughing harder than Emeline’s coughs anyway. “We said next time, I can do the playlist.” 

Fran sits back in her chair, her expression and mood going back to what it was a few minutes earlier. “Fran, what’s wrong?”

“You get a next time?” 

“I mean,” Maddy starts, her and Emeline exchanging confused looks. “That’s what we had talked about?”

“I wish I got a next time.”

“Fran, what do you mean?” Emeline asks, seeing the tears starting in Frans eyes.

“What is wrong with me that I can never get past a one night stand or a first date? All I’m good for is one night and then I’m forgotten the next day. Fuck, I can’t even get the number of a guy who isn’t thinking about using me to cheat on his girlfriend” Maddy and Emeline both reach their arms across the table, Fran taking neither of them. “It just sucks seeing everyone happy when no matter what I do to try to be happy like that, it fails.”

“But you had someone here last night, didn’t you? I heard your playlist when I tried to come in,” Emeline asks.

Fran shrugs, not making eye contact with either of them. “I just had that on. I didn’t have anyone here.”

Emeline thinks back to last night, the details admittedly foggy thanks to the alcohol she hadn’t planned on drinking. She never actually heard Fran or anyone else in the apartment when she came in, unlike almost every other night the playlist was blasting.

“Fran, you’re amazing, though, the right person will find you.”

“See, I don’t believe you. It’s really easy to say that when that’s what we’re fed, but I have had failed date after failed date, hook up after hook up, and no matter how it goes or what happens or what they say, it ends after one night. I am told every single time in one way or another that I am not good enough for anything more than a single night, and it fucking sucks every time.” 

“I know,” Emeline says.

“No you don’t,” Fran snaps. “You don’t know. You don’t get it. You’ve been with Keelan for how many fucking years? You’ve been happy enough with him and been steady enough with him that you couldn’t get it. You even have Jeremy who is in love with you and wants to be with you, as if one guy wasn’t enough.”

“Jeremy is not in love with me,” Emeline tries to counter.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Emeline,” Fran yells, Emeline flinching, “Jeremy loves you, and you’re falling in love with him, and you’re both too stupid to say anything. You don’t know what it’s like to have rejection after rejection while watching one of your best friends sit here trying to pick between a boy she barely cares about anymore and the neighbor who will probably end up becoming her husband, knowing that no matter what you do for yourself, there will never be a second date.” 

Fran gets up before Emeline could say anything else, her and Maddy both stunned by the insecurity they had no idea Fran had coming out like that. 

“I’m falling for him?” Emeline asks, saying it outloud for the first time.

“I think you might be, babe.” Emeline sits back, contemplating this realization that her roommates already had for her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Emeline shakes her head. “Not really.” She needs to actually figure this out for herself. Jeremy couldn’t have liked her, anyway. There was no way he did. “I do want to talk about how you were the one sleeping with Johnny last night, though.” 

Maddy’s face immediately turns red, a smile still on her face. “How’d you know?”

“Jeremy and I walked in, heard the music and walked out,” she tells Maddy, both of them trying not to laugh. “I thought you were just friends.”

“Friends can turn into something more very easily.”