#It's not like I can take a break I got sick twice and it set me off schedule so hard. Oh my lordy holy cabbages what the heck

[screwpinecaprice]

Guys, I am thinking of evil connverse AU and it's so dangerously distracting while I'm working on commissions. 😣

Brain, I need moni let work in peace. 😭

[occamstfs]

Diet Diaries

Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam

Monday March 21st-

Andy:

I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~

Steve:

Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 

Tuesday March 22nd-

Andy:

My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.

Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don’t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~

Steve:

Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.

Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.

Wednesday March 23rd-

Andrew:

Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!

Steven:

That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.

Thursday March 24th-

Andrew: 

Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!

OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!

Steven:

God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 

It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.

Friday March 25th-

Steven:

Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.

I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..

Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~

Andrew:

Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.

Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)

Saturday March 26th-

Stevie:

Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-

Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 

I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-

And Drew:

Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  

Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.

Sunday March 27th-

Stevie:

Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~

Drew:

My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.

[heartfullofleeches]

[Request] Reader caring for a sick Remmy [Dollmaker Yan Oc]

Warnings: None.

Words: 1.1k

-

“Remmy isn't home right now…. Please come back later.”

Could this day get any worse?... Weeks, months even, building up the courage to ask you to hang out with him. It wasn't like he asked you out on a date or anything, not yet anyway. He still needed to test the water a little longer, make sure the signals he had picked up from you weren't figments of his imagination. All that time, all those embarrassing hours spent in front of the mirror practicing what to say given any outcome - flushed down the drain in one night. 

Remmy could hardly open his eyes the morning you were intended to meet. You didn't even recognize him over the phone at first. In his heightened state of delirium from the fever racking his weary mind, he hoped the same would happen as you continuously rang his doorbell - demanding in the softest voice you could manage for him to open up.

As if he could be that lucky….

“And where, pray tell, would someone hacking up a lung over the phonean hour ago be right besides the hospital? It's not that far away. I can head over right now and check.” 

….

“Open this door right now, Remiel. You're not going to flake on me twice today.”

Did you have to phrase it like that? Kicking a sick person while he could barely stand was cruel - even if you did come to check up on him. 

“O…okay…. Remmy is- I'm going to unlock the door, just…give me a minute to clean up my room. I have some stuff out I really don't want anyone to see…”

The muffled shuffling of plastic splices between the click of the lock as Remmy unlocks the front door. 

“60.”

“Crap.” 

Hobbling away from the front door, Remmy clings to the hallway walls as he makes a break for his bedroom. The straight path twists and bends as his stress levels skyrocket from the very real fear of you finding out what he had stored. There wasn't enough time for him to hide everything. His top priority were the worst offenders - items he couldn't excuse as being a result of his relatively harmless hobby. Doll clothing fashioned after clothes you'd yet to wear for the public eye. Others you never owned and probably would never wear, unless they were for a partner or to make yourself feel good. Pictures of you hung up on his walls. So much to bury in such little time. 

“They can't see that…That one either. God, they'd kill me if they saw-”

“Saw what?” 

A hoarse yelp claws its way out of Remmy's aching throat. Standing in his doorway, you balance two separate bags in your arms - awaiting his response. Remmy hurriedly pulls the corners of his blankets over the space beneath his bed. 

“I…threw up a bit ago. Guess I'm feeling worse than I thought when we spoke over the phone.” 

In the blink of an eye you're by his side. Remmy flinches as you press the back of your palm against his forehead.

“Oh, Rem….” Concern oozes from your words as you set your bags down, taking hold of his arm. You're burning up. Come on. Let's get you back in bed.”

“You don't have to go through all this for me, Y/n. Really, I'm-” His sentence falls short as you scoop him off the floor, sitting him up on his bed. Were you always this strong - or had he always been this easy to carry? In that moment, Remmy felt just like one of his dolls. His head spins at the very thought. You take the opportunity to gently ease him down against the mattress, rolling the discarded sheets up to his waist. You pick up the plastic bags, setting them on the small table in the center of his room as you rummage through them.

“Got some chicken soup from this dinner down the street. If you can't keep anything down, maybe the broth will be a good place to state. Oh!- picked up some ginger ale too. That might help with your stomach too. Cough drops, cough medicine…. Do you prefer liquid or pills?” 

Remmy turns his head away from you as he coughs into his fist. “...whichever…whichever you brought is fine.”

“Well,I actually bought both, but I can just return the other on my way home later. I'll go grab you a cup real quick.”

Heading for the door, Remmy’s meek voice calls out to you - barely about a whisper. “Y/n?”

Hand on the doorframe, you gaze over your shoulder at him. “What's up? Need something else while I'm in the kitchen?”

“No…” Remmy shakes his head, the pressure of a headache hammering at his skull. “Agh… Remmy… I just wanted to thank you…for this. You really didn't have to come over…” 

A smirk tugs at the corners of your lips. “Don't think I did this for nothing. Gotta make sure you're well enough for our date next weekend. The park is nice and all, but that's where we always go. I expect to be taken somewhere else for our first date.”

“Date?” He couldn't have heard you right. But, you said it - twice. You disappear down the hall before he can properly question you. Was this all a dream? The conjurings of his ill mind as the sickness took hold? This felt better than anything he could imagine- Your hushed voice as you reenter the room confirms it. You wiggle your arm behind his head, helping him sit back up just enough to place the cup to his lips without him choking while swallowing. A part of him wished this was a dream. One that he'd never wake up from if he had the choice. Another dream come true was waiting for him once he got better.

“Remmy?...Rem?”

Soda spills onto your hand as the weight of his head crashes upon your shoulder. Did he…. fall asleep? Just like that? You hadn't even given him his medicine yet. At least the sleep will be good for him. You should probably go put everything else you brought up to pass the time until he wakes up. 

“Mmm…”

Remmy’s face scrunches in discomfort as you part from his side, lowering his head onto the pillows as you stand. Your foot touches something soft beneath his bed. You reach a hand underneath - completely forgetting about his earlier warnings as your fingers wrap around the squishy item. A doll with instantly identifying features stares back up at you as you drag it from its prison. Funny - you don't remember wearing this shirt around Remmy. You only bought it a few days ago. You planned to wear it today before he told you the bad news.

Shrugging, you raise Remmy's arm - tucking the doll against his chest. His face melts into that of peaceful bliss, body curling around the doll as his other hand strokes its face as if on auto-pilot. You press a kiss to his forehead - shutting off the lights in his room as you depart for a second time.

[mizgnomer]

Behind the Scenes of The Star Beast - Part Eight

Excerpts from Benjamin Cook's Star Beast Set Visit - discussing the Camden night shoots:

Is nobody here having a bad time?? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? "I had a little lull earlier," admits David, "at 2AM when we were waiting to turn over- I definitely yawned, maybe twice - but then the blood starts pumping again." Wrap isn't till 3AM. David lives across town. Isn't he worried he'll wake up his family when he gets in? "Listen, the kids are at Davison's," he says (this is Fifth Doctor actor Peter Davison, who happens to be David's father-in-law), "so I'm full of beans. Oh, and sugar. Do you want some?" He's bought a churro from a market stall that's stayed open because it's very much in shot. "You can have more than that." He breaks me off a bigger piece. "The sugar rush will do you good." He offers the director [ Rachel Talalay ] some too: "Go on, Rachel, you deserve it." "Are you doing OK?" she asks him. "Yeah! Sugar! I'll move on to the Yorkie bars next. I give not a fudge at this time in the morning." He claps his hands, dusting off the sugar from his churro. "But are you OK?" "I am at this moment," she says, waving to some fans. "Tomorrow at 4:30AM I might not be. Ask me again then." "You do get a lot of love from the fans, don't you?" says David. "In a tiny way, which is just lovely. I mean, I'm not you," she says, with a laugh. "I love hearing them scream for you. But I'm not used to any of this. And… I think it's stopped raining." "OK, here we go," says Scott. "Let's go for one. Stand by then, folks…" They go for another take. And another. When I catch up with Rachel later – much later, it’s October 2023, and she’s chatting over Zoom from her home in Vancouver – we’re five weeks away from The Star Beast airing on TV. “I didn’t know quite how well the episode was working,” she says, “till my family watched an almost-finished cut. I came downstairs, and my two girls were crying. It was like, oh, OK, this does work! And on a much, much deeper level too. To have them go, ‘We knew it would be full of joy’ – which I think it is – ‘but we didn’t expect it to be so emotional,’ that was very satisfying. It was an emotional time all round.” It was. In more ways than one. Which is something that Rachel wants to talk about – here in DWM – for the first time publicly. “I think I can now,” she says, “because I’m close to two years in remission. I will be this month. Two years in remission. And Doctor Who really helped heal me. Directing Doctor Who while I was only a couple of months post-chemo.” A deep breath. “I had lymphoma,” she explains. “I’d been in chemo for seven or eight months. I wasn’t sure if I was going to survive. Then I was offered The Star Beast. I thought, I’ve got to do this. I didn’t tell anybody I was sick. I hadn’t told anybody except very close family. And I didn’t tell anyone on Doctor Who till I was there long enough to say, ‘Look, I’m well enough, so I don’t want you worried about me.’ Because, frankly, I don’t know that they’d have wanted to hire someone who might not have made it through the shoot. I totally get that. That’s fair enough. [...] “I could not have been surrounded by a more supportive crew,” says Rachel. “The best crew in the world. When I realised, it’s all night shoots, I thought, oh god, and I’m two months post-chemo. But that crew – David especially – made those night shoots so fun. It’s weird now, because I look back at the pictures – like that lovely one of me and David you published last issue – and that was my chemo hair. I was just getting my hair back. But I got healthier and healthier, stronger and stronger, as the shoot went on. When I got back to Canada, the doctor said, ‘You’re a poster child for how well someone can do after chemo. This is what people are capable of.’ “But it’s just what you do,” she reflects, “isn’t it? – when you love Doctor Who in your heart so much. There was no better place for me than Doctor Who.”

Additional parts of this set are in the #whoBtsBeast tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

[imthegayone]

A Broken Rib (drabble)

Summary: You broke a rib during a stunt, earning yourself a scolding by your girlfriend.

Warrnings: mention of bruising? and some errors (reread this maybe twice)

Author's Note: A small little drabble cause I wanted to get something out for you all but these wips are kicking my ass rn. Also this is inspired by an interview where Britney Snow (i think) broke a rib during a stunt where she had to ram against a car to break it's widow and a fic I read a bit ago were Jenna sprains her ankle at work when she's distracted by a video of reader. (sadly I can't find it or I'd link it) Hope you enjoy 🩵

Word Count: 431

________

“You’re never doing that again.” Jenna reprimands a look in her eyes that says there’s no room for negotiation. However, it was an accident, you knew that and she knew that. The stunt was easy, even your manager agreed that you could ram yourself into the car for the scene. It didn’t stop Jenna from worrying though, the second she was told about your hospital visit a nervous pit settled deep in her stomach. 

“Jen.” You groan, you’re in need of sleep and just want to be held in the shorter girl's arms while you watch your favorite comfort movie. “Don’t Jen, me I’m not the one in trouble, you are.” Crossing her arms, you finally notice just how high her anxiety was. Understanding exactly how much stress someone could put themselves under when not knowing the condition of their loved one. You had experienced the same mounting fear when she sprained her ankle on set a year ago.

You sigh, never wanting to make her sick with worry especially when you were fine. “Baby, I’m okay. It’s one broken rib, plenty of people get broken ribs and survive.” 

“I’m just a little sore.” You add, prodding at the growing colors splayed across your abdomen. “And bruised.” Jenna mumbles knowing she’s not gonna get anywhere with you. You grab her hand placing it above your heart. “I’m fine. We got the shot, neither I nor Naomi need to redo it.” 

“She’s doing all your stunts from now on and I mean it.” Jenna gives you her best stern eyes but she knows you, you’re just like her when it comes to things like this. If you can do it yourself then why not? 

“You know I can’t promise that.” Jenna sighs knowing you’re right. She gently wraps you up in a hug, careful not to hurt you further. She’ll have plenty of time to scold you but for now she’d rather get you into bed to rest. “Just take it easy next time, okay? If you need a break, take one.” 

“I will. I promise.” Promising sincerely, your y/e/c eyes boring into her soft brown ones. “Too bad there’s not gonna be a scar though, I heard women love scars.” You tease, breaking the tension.

“Oh my god, please shut up.” Jenna says hiding her face in your neck at your embarrassing statement. Unable to contain her chuckle at your silly excuse for flirting. “I love you, even though you’re a reckless idiot.” 

“Yeah but I’m your reckless idiot.” 

Squeezing her tighter in your hold. “I love you too.”

[blooberrytea]

Connections

Pt: 1 2 3 4 5

~

Summary: Set in post-revolution Detroit, You've been assigned to the recently developed Android Crimes Division; and it's already off to a rough start.

Pairing: Connor x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: Mildly gorey description of a body, slow burn oops

~

There wasn’t enough caffeine in the world that could make this morning any more bearable. Connor and RK900's bickering was usually something you could handle, but after the night you just had– your nerves were shot to say the least.

“You state that you are ‘better’ than me in every comparison. I feel that’s just unlikely.”

You ignored the two androids, making a beeline for the break room. The coffee, as perusal, was lukewarm and honestly it could’ve been enough to break you. Your night had been seemingly uneventful– spent looking over casefiles and drinking some cheap wine you’d picked up at the grocery store. 

It was around 2 in the morning when a new file appeared on your laptop.

It wasn’t from the station, that you were sure about. It was just suddenly there in your personal drive, its only announcement the notification in the bottom right: “ Local Disc (C:): Unknown File “ 

“What the fuck…” You murmured, your cursor hovering over the new icon. It was dated only a few days ago and it wasn’t very large. Your gut told you to wait until the morning and have Connor look it over. 

You tapped twice on the touchpad and watched as the contents within the folder began to load in– A series of unnamed images and a single text document. That wasn’t eerie at all. 

You sucked in a breath before opening one of the images, the clicking of the touchpad one of the only noises in the apartment. Saying that you felt sick to your stomach would be an understatement. 

“Long night?” 

You looked up from the coffee pot, eyes landing on Gavin Reed. 

“Didn’t know you were capable of being here so early.” You grumbled, “Are you responsible for this gross, cold coffee?” 

Gavin snorted, “Do you not know how to work this thing? It’s ridiculously easy to make a pot of coffee these days.” 

To be honest, you’d never messed with the machines in the precinct– They were slightly more techy than the one you had at home. You usually brought a cup with you, but you’d downed it before you’d even made it halfway to the station. 

The detective nudged you out of the way before placing the empty pot in the machine and pressing a few buttons. 

“If this police business doesn’t work out, you should consider being a barista.” You teased. 

Gavin glared at you as he pressed a mug into your hand, warmth flooding through your fingers and up your arms. 

“You can get your own cream and sugar.”

You gasped and pressed your hand to your chest, feigning heartbreak as the detective walked away.

“Not only am I faster, stronger, and more resilient, but I’m equipped with the newest technology. Perhaps your analytical program is outdated as well.”

You saw Connor’s LED spin red as you approached, taking a very long sip of your freshly brewed coffee. 

“What if– And hear me out; You didn’t argue like children today?” You mumbled around your mug. 

“I’m not equipped with an ‘argumentative child’ program.” 

If you had an LED it would be red too.

“Anyway,” You started, drawing out the syllables, and setting your mug on Connor’s desk, “Can you pull up the most recent case assigned to us? Should be about an android found down at the docks. The one on Lakeside.” 

“That one’s new.” You nodded, pushing fingers through your hair as you sighed, “Yeah. Got assigned early this morning.” 

With Hank back on human homicide, you had been assigned to the new android crimes division. The Lieutenant wasn’t particularly happy about Connor being reassigned to your team, but he understood. You on the other hand didn’t quite understand Fowler's reasoning for splitting up the two. Before the revolution you had worked briefly on the deviancy cases, assisting Hank and Connor when they met a dead end or just making their late night coffee runs while they mulled over case after case.

 You thought they’d worked well together, more so when Connor loosened up. You supposed Hank was just too valuable in the human department. 

Connor pulled up the file on his computer, you and RK900 crowding around the desk to get a better look. You knew they were humoring you by pulling it up on the desktop, when they easily could’ve scanned it in their heads. 

“This file is practically empty. They don’t have any leads?”

You shook your head, “Barely anything. It’s also hard to place how old the body is because androids don’t decay like humans do. I was hoping you’d be able to scan him and get us some more info.”

“I supposed we’d better get going then, hm?”

-

Upon arriving at the docks, you found it blocked off with the digital, yellow tape. A few police cars were parked along the street and several officers stood around the scene. 

“Chris!” You called, “Any witnesses?”

The officer turned to meet you, giving a shake of his head. “It’s sorta creepy how this crime went without a hitch. The android’s too damaged to even reactivate or make an attempt to access his memories.” 

You let out a deep sigh as you slipped past officers, “He’s over here?”

Chris nodded.

The sight before you made you feel just as sick as last night. An android dangled over the side of the dock, ropes around each wrist and tied to the railing; his body half dangling in the water. Not only did the physical damage render him incapable of reactivation, but the water damage totally scrambled all his wiring too. 

“Fuck..” You breathed out.

Brief pressure on the small of your back drew you from your thoughts, you barely had time to register Connors hand before it was gone. 

“Hey, don’t get too far in your head. We’ll find a connection.”

You shook your hands out and gave him a small nod, “Notice anything?”

“The body is approximately two days old. But he’s only been here since last night.”

“How can you tell?”

“My scan gave me details about the water damage. If we replaced a few biocomponents back at the station, we may be able to reactivate him.”

RK900 suddenly appeared at your side, crossing his arms over his chest as he also scanned the android. You watched as his LED spun yellow. 

“Reactivation could be possible, but it’d be for less than a minute if anything.”  

A minute was better than nothing. A minute had the potential to provide you with a lead, a witness, anything.

Especially if one of them could interface and access the android’s memories. 

[livelaughlovekny]

Taking care of Muichirou when he is sick

Summary: Muichirou caught a cold after not listening to you and you had to take care of him (+Bonus)

  His form and movements were precise and perfect as always. To anyone else, nothing about his seemingly stoic appearance seemed off. You knew though. You weren’t anyone else; you were the “stubborn Tsukugo who enjoys being tormented”. His lips had paled ever so slightly. His eyes weren’t their usual mint green. His skin was less glossy. This has been going on for more than a week and you saw that signs were starting to get worse. Muichirou was sick.

  After your usual training session, you observed him silently. Muichirou continued on with his habit of wiping his sword, sheathing it before proceeding to his own physical training. You contemplated telling him your “findings” and suggesting he visit the Butterfly Estate. Were you overreacting though? Perhaps he was just affected by the heat and not his health. Well, it wouldn’t hurt too much if you asked him just in case right? You stared at him, a minute had barely passed, he was already completing 146 push-ups and continuing without any obvious signs of discomfort or pain. “Hey, are you, like, sick or unwell?”

  Not pausing his training, he replied, “No.” Ah, well, if he said so. You still didn’t quite believe him since this was the same person who was said to have nearly trained himself to death but decided not to push it any further.

  After completing your break, you started on your own workouts too. 2147 sit-ups later, you heard the sound of thunder cracking and saw lightning flash. Picking up your pace, you tried to at least reach 2200 sit-ups before seeking shelter in the Mist Estate. Moments later, rain poured down. Groaning, you hurriedly got up and rushed into the estate. Your training had been disturbed but at least you could continue in the estate.

  Finding a suitable spot, you were about to continue when you notice Muichirou still outside practising his stances and swinging his sword repeatedly. A thunderstorm is currently taking place and yet he still continues training outside. “You’ll get sick. Come in and find another way to train.” You were ignored.

  The day continued on as usual. You continued with your usual workout in the estate while Muichirou continued with his training outside the estate and under the rain. You went to bed and so did he. You woke up the next day fine. He didn’t.

  You knew immediately because your room was facing his. Upon opening your bedroom door, you noticed two very wrong things. One, his bedroom door was closed. Muichirou always wakes up before you and only closes his door when he’s inside. Two, you heard loud coughing coming from his room. You knocked twice on his door before sliding it open, not waiting for any response.

  Muichirou was lying on his mattress, curled up in a foetal position and coughing heavily. God, why don’t people listen to you when you bring up good points? Makes you wonder who the stubborn ones really are. Pushing his fringe away, you lay the back of your hand against his forehead. He was burning. “Stop touching me, I can handle myself.” Muichirou pushed your hand away. You snorted.

  “Don’t bother, hold on, I’ll be back soon.” Despite his previous protest, he made no effort to stop you from whatever you were going to do. Leaving his room, you mutter to yourself about how you had no idea how to care for sick people, much less stubborn and idiotic ones. Drenching a towel in a bowl of cold water, you brought the bowl to his room. Setting the bowl down, you sat down and squeezed the towel before folding it neatly and placing it on Muichirou's forehead. “What are you doing?” Swatting his hand that was reaching for the towel away, you glared at him. “Stop it, you’re clearly sick and dying. Don’t you dare refuse my efforts to care for you.”

  “I’m not dying.” You replied instantly, “To be fair, everyone is dying.” Silence. Triumphantly, you smiled. You knew he would say that and prepared a response beforehand. “Now, lie still and quietly while I write a letter to the Butterfly Estate for advice on how to care for sick, stubborn dummies.”  No response, you’ll take that as a win too. Laughing internally, you left his room and went to yours.

  A few minutes later, your crow was flying off to the Butterfly Estate. Returning to Muichirou’s room, you note that he was lying still and silently. Muichirou stared at the ceiling with a blank expression. Unsure what else you were supposed to do, you leaned forward and looked down at him. His eyes refocus on your face. You grin. “I’ve sent a letter, I’ll be training in my room. If you need me, just call for me. I’ll check up on you and adjust the towel every once in a while.” Pausing, you remembered that the both of you had yet to eat. “Oops, I forgot about breakfast. Hold on, let me see what I can do.” 

  “I’m not hungry.” So insistent on ruining his health. “Nonsense, your body is fighting for its life, it needs food and that’s final.��� Sticking your tongue out at him, you walk to the kitchen. Hands on each side of your waist, you looked at the food supply. “Wonderful, I have no idea what to make that wouldn’t make him sicker.” For the briefest of brief moments, you think about just knocking Muichirou out.

  No, you don’t trust yourself enough to not accidentally somehow kill him by hitting the wrong spot. And if you did somehow manage to not kill or induce a coma, you knew he would immediately cut your head off. You liked where your head is and would like it to remain that way. If only he listened to you! None of this would have happened and you wouldn’t have to figure out a way to not give your master food poisoning while he was sick. “Porridge. Sick people can consume porridge right? That’s just watery rice and some other stuff right?” You bit your bottom lip, considering the risks of carrying out a freestyle recipe. 

  You were sure an eternity had passed when you finally entered Muichirou’s room with a steaming bowl of porridge and a glass of water. The glass of water was probably unnecessary but he didn’t need to know that. Muichirou turned his head and looked at you as you carefully set the tray containing his breakfast on the floor. “I thought you left the estate.” You definitely took a while to prepare his breakfast then.

  “I considered it for a while but that would be too cruel.” You scooped a small portion of the porridge and blew on it lightly. “Say ‘ahh’.” Muichirou opened up his mouth and swallowed. You were fist pumping in your mind, he did not resist!  Repeating your actions, you smiled at him. He swallowed the food again but decided to object to your help again, “I can feed myself.” Ignoring his protest, you continued feeding him. “Perhaps, but you were also the one who insisted on training under the rain.” Muichirou looked away.

  Once you were done feeding him, you grinned, proud that he didn’t get poisoned and willingly accepted your help. Drenching and twisting his towel, you folded it neatly and placed it on his forehead like before. Picking up the tray, you smiled at him and got up. “Alright so like I said before, just let me know if you need anything, otherwise I’ll check up on you every once in a while.” Inhaling a deep breath, you cheered yourself on. Taking care of sick patients scares you. It always feels as if their future depended on your every move and decision. Sliding his door open, you left and slid it shut.

  Now alone in his room, Muichirou turned to look at the closed door. He really shouldn’t remain idle and get up and start training. He really shouldn’t let this fever of his deter him from his duty. He really shouldn’t enjoy you caring for him as much as he does. And yet he remained as he was. Muichirou tried reasoning with himself. He couldn’t quite remember when he started feeling unwell, perhaps he had been pushing himself for more than a week and yesterday was his last straw. Thinking back to when you had asked if he was sick, he remembered feeling a little shock. Used to ignoring his symptoms, he had forgotten that he was sick. How did you know though? He was sure after numerous times of pushing himself to his limit even when sick, his body had started to give up in showing signs of sickness.

  Perhaps the Butterfly Hashira would have been able to tell since she was an expert in the field of medicine and doubled as a doctor. But you clearly had trouble caring for the sick so how was it that you were able to notice? He couldn’t recall much but he was sure that you were already aware of his illness when it started and chose to not comment on it. He recalled feeling your questioning stares and observing looks, your concern written clearly in your expressions. Your absence left his room so silent, allowing him to lose himself in drifting from thought to thought.

  His door slid open. Muichirou turned to look at and saw you standing there, holding a letter. “Helloo, how are you feeling? I just received Kochou-sama’s response, she said that it might just be a bad cold and resting for the rest of the day and drinking warm water would help! Look, she even wrote a short and quick recipe since I said I sucked at cooking for stubborn patients!” You grin at him. Muichirou stared at you silently, not sure why you were so cheery all the time. “She said that I did good in caring for you and drew a smiley-face!” Pointing at the corner of the letter, you waited for a reaction from him. Receiving none, you whined exaggeratedly, “Not that I agree, but I can see why people call me a stubborn idiot who enjoys torture. Your silent treatments are killing me. One day, I’ll tell Oyakata-sama that you keep bullying me and ask to be Kanroji-san’s Tsukugo.” You stuck your tongue out and blew a raspberry at him.

  “Who called you a stubborn idiot?” That was not the response you were expecting. Tilting your head to the side, you looked up as you tried to recall the mean comments you constantly overheard. “I’m not sure. It’s mostly just overheard gossip but there’s always this weird girl with like, blue pigtails and red eyes that keeps giving me dirty looks. I think she’s just jealous because she’s always saying how if she was my rank she would apply to be your Tsukugo and kick me out.” Snorting at the ridiculousness of it all, you laughed. “You would like that wouldn’t you? I think she has a crush on you and would totally do whatever you wanted and not laugh at you.”

  “No. She sounds like someone who wouldn’t work hard. You’re annoying but you’re hardworking.” Ignoring the insult, you focused on his compliment. His first ever compliment to you. “Aww, I didn’t know you could be so sweet. You should get sick more often and maybe you would be more charming!” Muichirou looked at you plainly, unimpressed. “I’m a Hashira. My job is to kill demons and train you, not be charming.” Waving your hand, you rolled your eyes and smiled. “I know, I know. I was just kidding. Don’t worry, I respect your determination. It’s honestly impressive.” Not responding, Muichirou turned away.

  Assuming that meant that your one-sided conservation was over, you got ready to leave his room again. Hearing you getting up, Muichirou turned back and looked at you. “Wait. Don’t go yet.” You turned back and looked at him confused. He wasn’t sure what to say, he didn’t mean to call for you. “... You haven't changed my towel yet.” An unimpressed look crossed your face as you wet his towel and placed it on his forehead.

  Relishing the way your cool palm would brush his fringe away and place the cool, folded towel on his forehead, Muichirou blurted again, “Thank you, I like the way you care for me.” Your hand froze and you stared at him. Pinching his cheeks, you looked at him seriously. “Who is this and what have you done to my master?” Pushing your hands away, Muichirou glared at you. “Stop it, I didn’t mean to say that.” You raised your eyebrows but decided not to say anything else.

  The moment you closed the door, Muichirou allowed himself to cringe at his earlier behaviour. It wasn’t like him to be so… sentimental. This illness and your concern was really getting to him. And yet despite everything he told himself, he couldn’t wait for you to come back to check up on him again. 

Bonus: A few weeks after his recovery, Muichirou was walking back to the Mist Estate when he heard someone calling his name. It was a stranger. She waved her hands wildly and ran up to him. “Oh my gosh! Are you Tokito Muichirou, the Mist Hashira? I’m Yua and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” The girl’s blue pigtails bounced and her red eyes shone as she reached excitedly to grasp Muichirou’s hands. With a look of disgust, Muichirou took a stride back and extracted his sword, pointing it at Yua. “Don’t touch me, you low rank. Just by looking at you, I can tell that you don’t even deserve to gossip about others.” He paused. “Much less ones who deserve the titles they earned with their own hard work.” Not willing to spend anymore time with Yua, Muichirou turned away and walked off. Gossiping about others? How did he know that that girl, who’s name he has already forgotten, had gossiped about his Tsukugo? He heard a faint voice in his head and a blurry image appeared in his mind – You were gently dabbing his face with a cool cloth as your hand caressed his face. You were quietly whispering to yourself, “Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be your Tsukugo. Maybe others are right and I’m just wasting your time. But looking at how angelic you look, how can I bear to leave you?” He wasn’t quite sure if that was a fever dream or how he even remembered but he felt his cheeks heating up.

a/n: sobbing, i tried my best but it wasnt as cute as i wanted it to be!! i tried my best to not make mui ooc but at the same time making the scenes cute but i think i just spent too much time on their banter and unnecessary stuff and not enough on you caring for a sick muichirou :'( + i think many stuff are probably incorrect and i want to yeet myself now im so sorry oml

[worlds-worst-ships]

Welcome to the home of the world's worst ships!

Hello there, I'm Jack Goodwin and this absolute affront to the natural order that I call a blog is where I take a break from the insane content I normally make where you only have one job... to have fun. Oh yeah, and to follow me on Twitch, @maji_man

Here's a post where I explain the point of the blog. I highly suggest you read it twice or more to make sure you understand.

Now then, down to business.

Are there two characters that absolutely should not be anywhere near each other, to the point where one should be getting a restraining order? Are there pairings in fiction that you couldn't be paid a quadrillion rubles to come up with on your own? Are you sick of all these picket-fence, vanilla pudding, ERENxMIKASA snoozefests that plague the internet? If so, you've come to the right place. Get your kissy-kissy lips on, find a slightly uncomfortable chair and LETS GET SHIPPING!!!

I have only FOUR RULES HERE:

You can say whatever you want here, so long as;

1. Its not discriminatory

Any sort of phobia/ism here is not welcome. This blog is for everyone, regardless of ethnicity, orientation or gender identity.

2. Its a joke,

and clearly a joke. We poke fun at each other here. Lets keep it fun.

3. Its true.

I have the power of google, and any misinformation will be swiftly corrected. When you are corrected, either accept it or be blocked. Misinformation and straight up lies are not welcome here.

4: You speak with the understanding that these characters aren't real people, nor do they represent them

These are cartoons. Works of fiction. They're not real. Please keep any deep-seated obsession with character's ethnicity, sexuality, age, background etc to yourself. Acting holier-than-thou and making that the subject of your personal issue with my posts doesn't make you a hero, nor is that the groundbreaking opinion you think it is, it just makes the jokes awkward and uncomfortable for many people here.

Aaaaanyways, now we've got that out of the way (and yes, I will add more rules as the need arises, don't test me)

I'll mostly be using the absolute maelstrom of doodoo I call a brain to come up with ideas, but if you'd like to submit some ideas of your own, feel free. Send it to my ASK box. Nothing illegal, past a certain point, please.

Oh, and the ask criteria/format is in the linked post below. (Anonymous asks are and will always be turned off, cuz I know that this site is full of pussies who can't talk shit on main)

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T READ THAT POST, AS I KNOW MOST OF YOU WON'T: If you do not follow that exact format, I WILL DELETE YOUR ASKS ON SIGHT.

I REPEAT: I will not even CONSIDER posting them.

FUN FACT: After having this blog for multiple months with anonymous asks turned off, I haven't gotten a single hate message (other than that one kid who got made a fool out of). This is why they're off, in case you wondered.

Its also worth mentioning, some of you are new to the concept of comedy, so I'll write it nice and big for you (if you know what a crackship/joke is, then skip this paragraph): THIS IS A JOKE BLOG. A GIMMICK BLOG. A COMEDY BLOG. I DO NOT CARE EVEN SLIGHTLY ABOUT SHIPPING AS A CONCEPT MUCH LESS DO I EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 9/10 OF THE CHARACTERS YOU'LL SEE HERE, SO IM JUST MAKING J O K E S. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED, THEN YOU HAVE KNOWINGLY CHOSEN TO BE OFFENDED WHICH IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT. THANK YOU :)

I REPEAT this is a CRACKSHIP BLOG, so if you're deeply hurt by any of my polls, just know that nothing here reflects me as a person because none of what I post is serious. If anything you see after reading that causes you any emotional distress, it IS NOT my fault. Its funny, but its not my fault.

[slayfics]

Denki forces you to take a day off.

You lazily brushed your hair and went through your normal morning routine on autopilot. Everything was taking you twice as long as your head felt hazy and your throat raspy.

The smell of coffee alerted Denki that you were awake and attempting to get ready for the day.

Denki gently pushed the bathroom door open, his eyes locking with yours in the mirror as you continued to brush your hair.

"What are you doing?" He asked in a sing-songy voice.

"What does it look like? I'm getting ready for work," you said, not recognizing your own voice that was hoarse and laced with sickness.

"Oh no- no way I'm letting you step outside of this house like this. Get your cute ass back to bed," he said leaning against the door frame.

"I don't even feel that bad, I can push through it for one day," You said, setting your brush down and making your way over to him. Denki stayed firmly planted in the doorway.

"Move, I got to get my coffee," You said stubbornly.

"Make me," He chuckled, enticing you to push him out of the way. "Hey, hey relax!" He said, raising his arms as you tried to move him. But you were relentless and kept trying to push past him.

"Careful, I'll zap you," He chuckled at your weakened strength. "I can tell you're not feeling good, you're abnormally weaker than me today."

"I'm fine! Just a little under the weather, nothing I can't ignore." You said, giving up on pushing him out of the way.

"You work wayyyyy too hard, you know that?" He said, looking down at you with a playful smile still on his face. You knew this argument was far from over.

"And you don't take work seriously enough," You said, irritated at him slowing down your morning routine.

"Yeah, that's why we have each other. We balance each other out. Now come here," He said, gently placing the back of his hand against your forehead. "Holy shit- you're actually burning up. I'm not joking anymore, go back to bed babe," he said, his demeanor changing from playful to serious.

"I told you I'll be fine. I can't just not go. I have a lot of people counting on me," you said, still not giving in to calling out sick.

"Yeah, they are counting on you not to get them sick!" He responded, making you look down, averting his gaze. You knew he had a good point, but you still couldn't accept it. "Hey, come here," He said, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into a hug. "You work soooo hard, and hardly ever call out. Believe me, everyone will be ok for a day. You need to rest," he spoke and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

You let out a heavy sigh and allowed yourself to melt into his chest.

"Fine, but just for today. I'm going back tomorrow no matter what you say!" You spoke stubbornly in your strained voice

Denki laughed, "One day at a time ok? I can't lie though, you do kind of sound adorable all sick like that," he teased.

"Shut up," you said, smacking his arm playfully.

"Fine fine, back to bed though ok," He said finally moving from the door frame and following you back to your shared bedroom.

You crawled back into bed and sent a text to your work. "There it's all taken care of. Happy?" You asked him as he wiggled into bed next to you.

"Extremely," he said, cuddling you.

"What are you doing? You still have to go to work," You said, trying to shove him out of the bed a bit.

"No way, gonna stay home and take care of you," He said, kissing the top of your head again.

"You're going to get yourself sick," you warned him.

"Then we'll be sick together. We'll take a nice little nap, and I'll make some tea and breakfast when we get up. Then I'm forcing you to take it easy. We can watch some movies or something."

"You're more stubborn than me, you know that?" You laughed and gave in to his cuddles.

"I got to be, to make sure you take the breaks you deserve. Now get some sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up," He said, squeezing you just a bit tighter as you dozed back off into sleep.

Wrote this when I had to stay home with a silly cold. I just wanted Denki to take care of me 😩~ (I am healthy now)

Tags: @unofficialmuilover

[pollenallergie]

Eddie-isms

Since the last set of miscellaneous best friend!Eddie headcanons I posted did so well, I figured I’d type up some more. :)

18+

do not interact if you’re under 18 years old!

Eddie makes fun of you for being lactose intolerant. “Bunny, you can’t even digest ice cream correctly. It’s like god wanted you to live a joyless life.” <3

Eddie sneezes obnoxiously loud. He doesn’t really do it on purpose, he’s just a naturally loud sneezer. <3

Remember how I said Eddie loves naps? Yeah, if he gets bored with whatever he’s doing, he’ll just drag you back to the bedroom for an impromptu nap and you kind of just have to accept it. <3

Eddie will challenge you to a burping contest and he expects you to put in genuine effort every single time because “this is not a game, this is serious shit.” <3

Eddie takes periodic breaks from smoking and drinking to make sure that he doesn’t build up too high of a tolerance. During these breaks he simply replaces drugs with sugar, which is somehow worse. He’s like a hyper little kid on Halloween night. <3

Eddie still goes to a pediatrician/family medicine doctor and he gets very upset when they don’t offer him a lollipop and a sticker at the end of his appointment. “Why did I even show up? What’s the point in me even being here if they’re not gonna give me anything, jitterbug? I really fucking wanted that Gandalf sticker. This is horseshit.” <3

Eddie calls french toast “eggy-loaf.” No one knows where he got that name from, but he’s been calling it that for as long as you’ve known him. <3

Eddie’s gotten poison ivy way too many times to count. He got it on his dick twice in the summer of ‘84. Wayne laughed at him both times. <3

Most of the mugs in the Munsons’ collection are technically Wayne’s, but the Garfield mug? That’s 100% Eddie’s. He got it on a road trip with Wayne when he was ten and has heralded it as one of his most prized possessions ever since. Interestingly, when Eddie drinks coffee in the morning, he uses one of Wayne’s mugs because he refuses to use his special Garfield mug for anything other than hot cocoa and soup. One time you made the mistake of brewing Eddie some tea in his Garfield mug while he was sick. Of course, Eddie still drank the tea because he’s not wasteful, but he did so while glaring at you ceaselessly. <3

Eddie is a lighter thief… and a scrunchie thief… and a pencil thief… and a t-shirt thief. Basically anything that you own also belongs to Eddie and he will take it without warning. In his defense, he doesn’t mean to steal anything from you, he just borrows your stuff and forgets to give it back to you. <3

Eddie draws little sketches for you all the time. For example, he once drew you a picture of your favorite flower cradled in the bony hand of a skeleton; it was actually insanely good. However, instead of giving them to you like a normal person, he folds them into paper airplanes and throws them at you as hard as he can. <3

Eddie says “safety” every single time he farts. <3

Eddie almost always has a tiny piece of gravel caught in his shoe, it’s the bane of his existence. <3

Eddie is surprisingly strong (as we all know) and he uses that strength for nefarious purposes, like body slamming you onto the couch for no fucking reason; something he does almost daily. He always finishes this epic move by pinning you down and counting to three. Then he’ll spend the next two minutes celebrating his “victory.” <3

When Eddie gets really excited, he’ll grab your hand and squeeze it just a little too tight. He doesn’t even really mean to do that, or at least he doesn’t mean to squeeze quite so hard, but he can’t really contain himself when he gets all hyped up. <3

You’ve learned not to talk about how heavy/big you are around Eddie because he almost sees it as a challenge. “What, so you think I can’t pick you up? You think I can’t lift that much? You think I’m a whimp, huh?” He’ll then hoist you into the air just to prove a point. <3

Also, whenever you talk badly about yourself in front of him, he makes you say three things that you like about yourself off the top of your head. It’s a trick that you started using on him during the dark days of puberty and, honestly, you regret teaching it to him. <3

Eddie is insanely competitive when it comes to board games, especially Pictionary. <3

Eddie often randomly challenges you to thumb wars and, when you don’t accept, he pouts like a baby. <3

Whenever Eddie’s hands get cold, he’ll sneak up behind you and press them against your cheeks or the back of your neck just to shock you. <3

Eddie loves it when you torment him like he does to you because he thinks you look especially beautiful when you’re being ornery. <3

Eddie talks about you to the new Hellfire members as if you’re dead and not just away at college. “Our very own Hellfire queen, the beloved bearer of snacks, may her memory live on forever,” He declares theatrically. “Oh, damn, how’d she die?” One of the freshmen asks. Gareth sighs, “She’s not dead, Munson’s just a dweeb.” <3

He impersonates Yoda… like a lot, one could even say he does it a little too often. <3

“Grub, can you turn your music down a bit? I’m trying to study.” “Do or do not. There is no try.” “Eddie!” <3

Also slips into Shakespearean mode every now and then. <3

“Hey, grub, should I wear my hair up or down with this dress?” “To wear it up or to wear it down, that is the question.” “Dude, you’re such a dork.” <3

He’s tried to create a special friendship handshake for the two of you multiple times, but the problem is he makes them way too complicated so neither of you can remember them. <3

Any time you have ever worn a two piece swimsuit in front of him, he’s blown a raspberry on your tummy. He doesn’t do it to embarrass you or to make you feel insecure about your belly, quite the opposite, he likes your belly so much that he can’t suppress the primal urge to blow a raspberry on it every time he sees it. In his mind, it makes perfect sense, but, in yours, not so much. <3

Eddie physically cannot go twenty-four hours without seeing you or, at least, talking to you on the phone. <3

Eddie will take you and your friends to see a rom-com if you ask him too. If it’s good enough, he’ll even secretly enjoy it too. <3

Eddie actually really enjoys hanging out with you and your friends, so much so that he’ll forever be bitter about the fact that he’s not allowed to come to your group sleepovers. Of course, you want to invite him, but they typically take place at one of your friends houses and, given that he is a dude that’s attracted to women and that has the capacity to knock up the majority of your friend group, none of their parents are super fond of the idea of him spending the night with you guys. He gets it, obviously not everyone can be as forward thinking as your angel of a mom, but it still sucks nonetheless. </3

You try to make up for that by doing some of the same activities at your sleepovers with him; face masks, hair braiding, makeovers, taking the quizzes in your copy of this month’s issues of Cosmopolitan and Seventeen Magazine, etc. Honestly, Eddie has had to lie on so many of those goddamn quizzes, just so you wouldn’t find out that he’s hopelessly in love with you. <3

Eddie makes NPCs for his Hellfire campaigns that are inspired by you; it’s his way of including you in the campaigns while you’re away at college. He’ll even fill you in on how your NPCs are fairing in the campaigns every Friday over the phone after he gets home from the club’s meetings. <3

Eddie kinda uses Philby as his therapist. Whenever he’s had a hard day, he’ll take your dog on a long walk, talking through whatever’s on his mind all the while. You accidentally caught them in the midst of one of these therapy sessions once and Eddie’s face went beet red from embarrassment. <3

Eddie’s brain short-circuits every single time you boop his nose (which is often, because how could you not?). It’s like his reset button. He’ll just be rambling on and on about something, most likely either an upcoming campaign or a sick guitar riff he came up with the other day, and you’ll just give that sweet little nose of his a quick, audible boop and suddenly the words are dying on his tongue. His cheeks flush a sweet rosy hue and his mouth parts in an inaudible gasp. It’s a rare moment of speechlessness for him, as if that one affectionate touch was enough to halt his ever-racing thoughts. Unfortunately, the more often you boop his nose, the more quickly he begins to recover, but that initial moment of quiet shock never fully goes away. <3

When Eddie was a kid, he couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. The holiday season was always so stressful for him because he constantly had to fight the urge to tell people what he’d made for them. In fact, back then, you all frequently received your presents from him weeks before Christmas because, as soon as he would finish making them, he’d get so excited to give them to you that he just couldn’t wait. <3

Now that he’s older, Eddie’s gotten way too good at keeping secrets… for the most part. If someone confides in him about something serious or wholly private in nature, then he’ll take that shit to the grave with him, won’t tell a single soul about it. However, when it comes to less severe secrets, Eddie tends to make an exception, at least for you. Case in point, you know about all of the Hellfire boys’ crushes simply because Eddie cannot keep his big mouth shut. <3

Eddie has this general disposition about him that just makes it so easy to confide in him and many of his customers frequently take advantage of that, venting to him about their shitty parents or opening up to him about whatever’s stressing them out. He always listens to them attentively and without judgment, and, occasionally, he’ll even offer them some genuinely good advice. Truthfully, Eddie gives great advice, the problem is that he often doesn’t follow this advice himself. <3

Eddie writes poetry and, sometimes, he’ll even read his poems to you, but only the ones that he’s really confident in and that, importantly, are not about you. <3

Eddie’s not worried about being stuck in the friend zone, mostly because he’s worried about a second, worse thing: the brother zone. Due to how close your families are and how long you’ve known each other, Eddie worries that you see him as nothing more than a brotherly figure and the thought of that kills him because is it even possible to get out of the brother zone?? The way Eddie sees it, at least the friend zone might, maybe have the potential for future upward mobility. The brother zone, however, might as well be a limitless vat of swiftly drying cement, because once you’re there, you’re there for life. </3

Given how close Eddie and your mom are, she’s told him many times that, if he’s comfortable with it, he can call her mom. However, Eddie refuses to do that. Not because he’s uncomfortable with it, but because he refuses to do anything to further increase his chances of ending up in the goddamn brother zone. </3

He’s irrationally afraid of ladybugs. Whenever one lands near him, he freaks out, much like most people do when wasps start buzzing around them. Unlike most people, he’s not too bothered by wasps, just ladybugs. Fuck ladybugs. <3

Eddie really enjoys baths, but his trailer doesn’t have a tub, so your mom lets him use the one in her trailer while she’s at work. He’d spend all day there if he could. However, he also gets really lonely, so he forces you to sit just outside the bathroom, talking to him through the closed door. <3

He also gets lonely while he poops, but he feels like asking you to sit on the other side of the door to talk to him while he poops is just a tad too intimate, so, while the two of you are still just friends, he’ll make do with reading the ingredients on your shampoo bottle. But if (when) the two of you ever start dating, that shit will be fair game (pun intended?). <3

Eddie likes to play footsie with you whenever you’re sat across from each other at a table. It doesn’t matter if the two of you are eating at your favorite diner, reading books at the public library, or simply sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, sipping on some coffee, the man will initiate it anywhere. This is also to his detriment, though, because it means that he ends up with a lot of awkward boners in public places. Oopsie. <3

He likes letting you do his makeup and paint his nails. Really, the man will take any opportunity for you to dote on him. <3

He secretly loves it when you call him Eddie Bear or Teddy, but he’ll never tell you that. <3

He spends way too much time looking at you, studying and admiring all the features that make up your pretty face. How you fail to notice his incessant staring is beyond him. <3

Eddie very much enjoys clinging onto you like a sloth. Oddly enough, he kinda wishes that he could go eight days without needing to poop or eat, like sloths can, just so he could get to really maximize the amount of time that he gets to hold you. <3

Eddie’s weird, really weird. Adorable and unexpectedly charming, but also weird. He worries that he’s off-putting, but your mom tells him that he’s just eccentric and that the right person will like that about him. He hopes that person is you. <3

He’s kind of obsessed with you; talks about you all the time, craves your attention 24/7, would do anything for you, etc. Just as Eddie used to say when he was little, he loves you long time. <3

Eddie Munson is the biggest hopeless romantic on this side of the Mississippi River. <3

[cookies-over-yonder]

stab wounds

Lincoln gets his ears pierced for his eighteenth birthday.

Swiftli Week Day 1: Birthday!

ao3

“So, the big one-eight, huh?”

“Yeah, I—I’ve never done this before, and my dads are finally letting me.”

“Your dad told me on the phone. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine.”

“Yeah…”

Link stares at the gems before him, in varying sizes, shapes and colours. Probably also varying prices.

He feels a little light-headed, but he wants to do this. And he ate before, as Marco told him to, so he probably won’t pass out.

“These flower ones are cute!” Normal says, pointing at a couple small teal flower shaped gems. Those would suit him.

“You should pick those,” Scary suggests to him, and Normal does, holding up a clear stick, provided by the piercer, with the gem on it up to his ear to see how it’d look in the mirror. It matches his blue studs right below.

Everyone is getting piercings today. It’s reassuring. Though, Lincoln is the only one who has none to start with.

Scary and Normal each have one lobe piercing in each ear, Taylor has three , Hermie… Hermie can shapeshift to get whatever piercings she wants.

Taylor and Scary pick out their earrings for what Link thinks he remembers as a… helix?

“Have you decided yet, Lincoln?”

“Uh…”

“Need help?” Taylor asks, interlocking arms with Link and holding his hand. Link takes a deep breath at that, and he nods.

“Well, you could do one silver, and one onyx,” Taylor suggests, “you know, like soccer ball colours.”

“I think I want them to match.”

“Then I’d say both silver. It’ll suit your skin tone, and it goes with everything.”

“I think you’re biased,” Scary chimes in, gesturing at Taylor’s earrings, all of which are silver studs and hoops, “But, honestly, I agree. I think it’d look nice.”

The piercer takes a small silver gem and puts it on the clear stick thingy for Link to hold up to his ear in the mirror. He does so, and they’re right, it does look nice.

“Do you like it?” the piercer, Apple, Link remembers, asks.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna go with these.”

“Perfect. I’m gonna clean all the earrings you’ve chosen, and you all can get set up in this room.”

“I don’t wanna go first,” Link says, sitting down in one of the chairs, pulling Taylor onto his lap and squeezing him like a stress ball.

“I can go first!” Normal says, bouncing with excitement.

“Awesome,” Taylor says, “Scary can go second, and I’ll go before you. Would that help?”

Link nods, burying his face in Taylor’s hair.

“Which earrings did you pick?” Link asks, his voice muffled.

“Scary and I got matching studs, but hers is purple and mine is red.”

“Finally breaking the trend of silver,” Scary teases.

“Heh. Anything for you, Scary.”

“Y’know, after you guys can like, switch them out or whatever, I do have experience in making costume jewelry,” Hermie says, “And I might have a couple soccer ball charms, or whatever…”

Link looks up at her and smiles, only for her to avert her gaze.

“It’s your birthday after all,” she says.

“That it is,” Taylor agrees, turning around to kiss Link on the cheek. “You good?” he asks, quieter.

“I’m scared.”

“That’s okay. You’re gonna be fine, I’ve done this before. Twice, actually. Well, three times if you count when I was a baby, but, yeah. I’ll hold your hand and everything, promise.”

“Okay…” Link takes in a shaky breath, and sighs. Taylor kisses him again, this time on the lips.

“I’ve also done it before,” Scary adds, putting a hand on his back. “It’s really not that bad, and you can wear sick jewelry afterwards.”

“And, it’ll be a new experience for both of us!” Normal says, “I mean, mine are from when I was a baby, so I don’t remember anything.”

“Thanks, guys.”

“No problem, dude,” Taylor says, kissing him again, and again, and again, with an exaggerated “mwah” each time.

“Can’t you guys save that for later?” Hermie asks.

Taylor pulls away, giggling, and Link can’t help but smile with him. “Emotional support kisses are mandatory,” Taylor says.

“Alright, who’s going first?” Apple asks, walking back into the room. Taylor turns around to face them, wrapping Link’s arms around him like a seatbelt.

“Me!” Normal says, hopping onto what looks eerily similar to a doctor’s office bed.

“Perfect. I’m still sterilizing everything, so while that’s happening, I’m gonna go through aftercare.”

Apple talks them through the aftercare for the different piercings they’re all getting, and as much as Link tries to focus, the anxiety creeps back up, clouding his vision.

Taylor cups Link’s face in his hands. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay,” he says, bringing Link back to the present.

Link nods, and looks back at Apple, who, seeing that Link is alright, continues to explain.

Luckily, Marco knows all about the aftercare of piercings, so he’ll probably ask him to explain it again when he gets home.

The top part of the bed thingy tilts up until it’s more of a chair with back support. Ah, it’s like a dentist office chair! Sort of. And Normal leans against the back of it as Apple cleans his ears and marks where the piercings will go.

Scary and Hermie stand in front of him, each taking one hand to hold.

Apple talks Normal through the process and everything they’re doing, and tells Normal to take a deep breath in, and out, as they pierce him.

And after a moment, one side is done. Link gets a look from afar. It’s pretty.

“How was that?” Apple asks.

“It hurt a bit, but it was okay.”

“Okay, we’re going to do the other side now.”

Link buries his head in Taylor’s shoulder, and tilts it a little to kiss his neck. Taylor squirms a little and giggles, before grabbing hold of Link’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“All done!” Link hears, and Normal is hopping off the seat and looking in the mirror.

“I love it!” he says, before rushing to show it off to Link and Taylor.

“Epic,” Taylor says.

“It looks cute. Did it hurt a lot?” Link asks.

“It hurt, but it wasn’t that bad. You’ll be fine.”

“Okay.”

“Scary, you’re next?” Apple asks.

“Yup!”

“This one matches your hair, good choice.”

“Thank you!”

Link doesn’t look at this one, he just keeps his head buried, and he flinches when Scary shouts, “Ow!”

“You okay?” Apple asks.

“I’m good.”

“Alright. I’m gonna slide the backing in.”

“M’kay.”

“Now I’m putting in the post.”

“Mm’kay.”

“And now the gem.”

“Mmm’kay.”

“And you’re done!”

“Oh, thank god.”

“You want some water?”

“Yes, please. Fuck .”

“Just rest, you can take as long as you need.”

Link lifts his head up to see Scary still sitting there, with a small paper cup of water, and Normal holding her free hand.

“Scary, are you okay?” Link asks, hearing his own voice shake.

“Yeah, it just hurt. More than my lobe piercings for sure. Prepare yourself, Tay.”

“Will do, Scare. It looks awesome, by the way.”

“Hell yeah,” she says, taking another sip of water.

It does look goregeous. A small purple stud perfectly matching her hair. It’s a great choice.

Scary gets up to look in the mirror, and she takes a selfie with Normal, Hermie photobombing with a peace sign in the background.

Taylor moves to get up, but Link clings to him harder, holding him still.

“It’s my turn, man,” he says, voice gentle.

Link whines, squeezing him.

“This is all perfectly safe, Lincoln,” Apple says. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“You can hold my hands and everything, babe.”

“Okay… okay,” Link says, letting go.

Taylor hops off, and when he stands up, his legs wobble a little. Apple brings a stool across from where Taylor sits, and Link sits on that and holds his hands, squeezing tight.

Taylor squeezes back, and when Apple tells him to take a deep breath in, and out, he scrunches up his face, and squeezes Link’s hands so hard his nails dig into Link’s skin.

Apple puts in the backing, and the post, and the gem, and Taylor opens his eyes, his breathing slightly staggered, but for the most part, he’s okay.

“It hurt, but I’m strong,” he smiles at Link, “And so are you,” he winks.

Taylor tilts his head so Link can get a better view. A scarlet stud like the streaks in his hair.

“It’s beautiful. Like you.”

Taylor giggles and leans forward, kissing Link’s forehead.

Taylor hops off the seat, still holding Link’s hands.

Link stands up, and Taylor runs his hands up and down his arms. “Are you ready?”

“I think so.”

Link sits on the chair, and leans all the way back, holding Taylor’s hands as tight as possible.

“Alright, Lincoln, just relax, I’m gonna clean your ears and mark where the piercing is gonna go, okay?”

Link feels them mark each of his ears, and they show him the marks in the mirror so he can approve, and he does, and then they get the piercing stuff out.

“Okay, you’re gonna feel a little bit of pressure, that’s just me lining everything up, and then I’m gonna tell you to take a deep breath in and out, and I’m gonna pierce you.”

Link feels the pressure on his right ear. He feels it, and it’s sharp, and he’s nauseous, and Apple is saying something else, but he can’t hear them very well past the ringing in his ears.

His friends are saying things too. He hears his name a lot, and “panic attack,” and “it’s okay,” and “water,” but it’s all just words that don’t really make any sense.

There’s pressure on his lap. And hands on his face. He opens his eyes.

Taylor.

“Can you hear me?” he asks.

“Did—did—did I do it?”

“Not yet.”

Shit. Of course he started panicking before it even happened.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me, Link,” Taylor says, and he opens his eyes again. “Breathe. Breathe with me, okay?”

Link nods and watches Taylor breathing, trying to follow.

Taylor nods, continuing to breathe with him. “You got it. You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Link breathes out, taking in his surroundings. He’s okay.

That one wasn’t so bad.

Scary passes him a cup of water, and he drinks it, feeling slightly better.

“Do you still want to do this?” Taylor asks, “It’s your birthday, you can opt out if you want to.”

“I want to. I want to do it,” Link says, turning to face Apple. “Sorry, I—I—I can’t control the…”

“That’s alright, it’s understandable. You’re not the only one who’s had a panic attack in here. Take as long as you need, and then we can try again, okay?”

“Okay,” Link sighs, and then continues to take deep breaths with Taylor.

Link doesn’t know how long it takes, but eventually he feels his heartrate slow, and he hugs and kisses Taylor before gesturing for him to get back on the stool. “I think I’m ready this time.”

“We could do it with you lying down if you think that would be better,” Apple suggests.

“I think I’d prefer that, yeah.”

Apple adjusts the chair so it’s more of a bed, and Link lies flat on his back. holding one of Taylor’s hands.

Apple repeats everything they said before, and Link feels the pressure again. He shuts his eyes.

“You feeling okay?” they ask.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, deep breath in.”

Link breathes in.

“And deep breath out.”

Link breathes out, and squeezes Taylor’s hand. It stings.

“I’m going to put the backing in now. Breathe in, and out.”

It hurts. It hurts but he’s okay. He’s breathing. In and out.

“Good. Now I’m putting in the post. Breathe in, and out.”

In and out. He’s okay.

“Now I’m putting on the gem. Breathe in, and breathe out, and you’re good! One ear is done. How do you feel?”

“Relieved,” Link says, opening his eyes.

“You wanna see how it looks?”

“I wanna get the other one done with first.”

“Okay. Can you tilt your head the other way for me?”

Link does so. And Apple repeats the process, guiding him with deep breaths and all.

It stings again, but it’s okay. He keeps breathing.

“Okay, Lincoln, you’re all done. How do you feel?”

“I’m okay,” Link says, sitting back up.

“Have a look,” Apple says, handing Link the mirror.

He looks in the mirror, and there’s sparkling studs in each of his ears for the first time. Ever.

Link sees himself grinning. “I love it! Thank you!”

“Of course! Happy birthday!”

Link stands up, and he’s immediately tackled with a hug from Taylor. “I’m so proud of you! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!” Taylor shouts, pulling him down to kiss his cheek, and forehead, and lips. “My boyfriend is the bravest boy in all the land!” he says, jumping onto Link’s back in the piggyback position. Link giggles with him as he adjusts him so he’s more secure.

Apple chuckles too, before asking, “Do you guys want me to take a picture for you?”

“Yes, please!” Taylor says, handing them his phone.

Everyone poses, Taylor kissing Link, and thus showing off the piercing on his right ear and Link’s on his left ear. Normal and Scary each kiss one of Hermie’s cheeks, showing off their piercings that way, Scary’s right, and Normal’s left.

“Is that the gayest photo you’ve ever taken?” Hermie asks.

“Actually, no, but your choice of pose reminds me of your dads,” Apple says, pointing at Link.

Link scrunches his face up, laughing a little.

Okay, yeah, this birthday was definitely a success.

[moltenwrites]

MOST LIKELY TO TAG GAME

Thanks @the-golden-comet @thatuselesshuman and @willtheweaver

I took a break for a day, and got another, so also thanks to @gioiaalbanoart

for the tag! This game is fun, you answer a series of “ who’s most likely to “ questions for your characters. I have 9 to go through, so let’s hop into to it

If you want to do this, your questions are:

1. Most likely to crush on their villain/enemy

2. Most likely to skip breakfast

3. Most likely to have a niche obsession

Question from @willtheweaver

1. Most likely to embarrass their friends in public

Oooo this one is hard, but I’d say Raven, especially when he’s drunk

2. Most likely to get drunk/hungover

Raven, again. He’s a bit strong on the alcohol

3. Most likely to get kicked out of summer cap

Most of my characters are above the age, so I’ll say this is when they were in their adolescence. Ryder or Samaueal would be my pick here

This set of tags is from @the-golden-comet

4. Most likely to burn something while cooking?

Lars, he’s not the greatest chef, and he’d probably try ( and fail ) to use his fire to help.

5. Most likely to stop a robbery if they witness it taking place?

I’m torn between Lars and Salazar here, mainly because their reasons would be entirely different. I’ll say Salazar though, he’d do it every time without fail

6. Most likely to not tell someone they are sick/need help untill absolutely needed

Hart 100%. Hart would not tell ANYONE

The next set of questions is from

@thatuselesshuman ( they gave me two posts to work with, so we’ll do both )

7. Most likely to get lost in a crowd?

I think Astera would get lost really easily, Asim would probably do his best to stop it though

8. Most likely to disappear, never to be seen again?

Raixen, he’s done it twice. Hart could also get away with it in an instant if he wanted to

9. Most likely to have a secret squishmallow collection

Uhhh let’s see, most of the people who would have one ( Lyra or Astera ) wouldn’t hide it. I guess I’ll say Maximus, who is the one council member I think I haven’t mentioned yet.

10. Most likely to get arrested?

I think Ryder. He is weak as a criminal, and doesn’t have the power or connections to make up for that

11. Most likely to be sentenced to death?

If he ever got caught, Samaueal. He’s THE worst

12. Most likely to break out of prison?

I have multiple characters who HAVE done this, so I’ll say currently unnamed souls collide protag 1, Ryder, and he hasn’t done it, but he would get away with it, Hart

Finally, we have the questions from @gioiaalbanoart

13. Most likely to steal something they need in the moment?

Res would, he knows how to play to the streets, and if he has to steal something he will

14. Most likely to start a fight?

To avoid saying Samaueal again, I’ll pick Nelios here. He’s a prickly person, and he can get very confrontational

15. Most likely to do something they’re gonna regret later?

Cadin.

And I wanna add one bonus one I saw someone else answer because I felt like it was a fun fact

16. Most likely to be in a relationship for a week or less?

Salazar. Bro is aro/ace as fuck and his ass does NOT know. So I think he’d try once or twice, but it would either be broken off as a result of him being a terrible person, or because of the previously mentioned aromaticness.

Annnd that’s all. That was a long one, if you read it all, I hope you enjoyed

Tag list:

@thatuselesshuman @ddgraywrites @jjoneswriting @revenantlore @aintgonnatakethis @yourpenpaldee @illarian-rambling @autism-purgatory @the-letterbox-archives @theverumproject @gioiaalbanoart @noxxytocin @joseph-hooser @mk-writes-stuff @yrndrgn @wyked-ao3

[galvanizedfriend]

Fic: We'll Always Have New Orleans [1/15]

Summary: Caroline wakes up in a world where everything looks exactly the same, only nothing really is. For starters, she's no longer a vampire, and no one else in Mystic Falls has ever heard of witches, vampires or werewolves - no one except for Klaus, who woke up just as human and twice as angry about it. Their search for answers and a way out takes them all the way to New Orleans, and Caroline could never anticipate how much this crazy fake world was about to alter her reality forever.

[Canon!AU. Set right after TVD 4x18.]

--

Chapter 1: Rewrite

She stares in complete shock as the blood starts gushing out, her palm quickly covered in red, dripping onto the island and then on the floor until soon her kitchen looks like the set of a low-budget slasher movie. An entire minute goes by and the blood just keeps on coming out, the gash on her hand wide open.

In some distant corner of her brain, she registers the throbbing pain, intensifying by the second, but she can barely feel it over the dizziness that sweeps her over.

It's not the blood loss, though. It's comprehension. Confirmation.

She's going to be sick.

"Caroline?" she hears her mother's voice. It sounds as though it's coming from a different dimension, but it's just the other room. She didn't even hear the front door. Because you don't have super hearing anymore, a tiny voice whispers in the back of her head. "I saw your car outside, sweetie. Shouldn't you be at school?"

She presses her lips tightly together, trying to hold back the tears.

"Caro -"

Liz stops frozen when she walks into the kitchen, eyes bulging in shock as she takes in the scene before her. Caroline, with a knife, standing in a pool of her own blood.

In a second, Sheriff Forbes is next to her, prying the knife out of her tight grip, then grabbing a hold of her wounded hand. “God, Caroline…” She shoves her hand under the cold running water. Caroline hisses. "How did this happen?"

"Mom..." she says in a small, pleading voice, waiting until Liz looks up to meet her eyes. "My hand... It's not healing."

"It looks very bad, sweetie. You might need stitches."

Caroline breaks into a sob. Everything about her mother looks real - her delicate touch, the worried lines across her forehead, the compassion in her voice. Even her perfume is the same. But, just like Bonnie and Elena before, she doesn't seem to get it.

Read chapter 1 here

-- Guess who's back from the seventh circle of hell? 🥲 Everyone goes through a comeback phase, I guess this is mine. 🤷‍

I never got over how beautiful this cover art is! Reminds me so much of old school KC fandom. ❤️ It was made by the super talented @deadalien, I hope she's still ok with me using it.

So this is actually the first KC I ever wrote, way back in 2018. It's gone through considerable rewriting, but it's the same story. I just wanted to shove them together into uncomfortable situations and force Caroline out of denial. 🤷‍ I guess I still very much enjoy that trope, five years later.

As always, comments/kudos/reblogs are so very welcome, it brings joy to this sad ficwriter's life! ✨

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 2)

Previous Chapter

warnings: emotional abuse

word count: 1.002

------------------

I could not believe the piece of paper that was laying in front of me. I had gotten a B in my Biology test. Yeah, pretty ironic. Not even an A-, but a B.

For a short moment I buried my face in my hands, trying to regain my composure. Dad was going to kill me.

After class I was supposed to be at rehearsal, but I needed a moment to calm down first. Without thinking twice about it, I walked to the old bus.

Shams was not here yet.

The longer I had to wait for her, the more I was freaking out. By the time she arrived I was already a mess, forcing myself not to cry.

“(f/n), what happened?”, Shams worried as soon as she noticed my disheveled state.

I moved a bit to give her the chance to sit down next to me.

“I got a B”, I uttered breathlessly.

“Shit”, she cursed. “Is your dad home today?”

“Unfortunately”, I enlightened her. “You know how he acts. What am I supposed to do?”

“We could switch tests”, she offered. “I actually rocked this one for once. You'd only have to change the name.”

“Nah, he would notice. But thanks. And congrats.” I shot her a small smile.

She reciprocated the smile, but it vanished just as quickly as mine.

“Last time I had an A-, he ripped me off all my privileges. I don't think I can take not seeing you for so long again. I mean we would still meet at school, but I always have to pretend here”, I recalled. “Talking about it, I need to go to rehearsal for Tasneem's show.”

Before I could go Shams pulled me into a kiss. Thanks to the dirty windows nobody could see us after all. Too bad that I usually had to spend the breaks with Tasneem and the others.

“I'm gonna text you later, if my dad doesn't confiscate my phone”, I promised. “So you'll most likely not hear from me.”

Leaving the bus I buried my feelings deep inside of me and put on a smile. Honestly I was sick of acting, but it was the only chance to keep the life I had. And some aspects of it were definitely worth fighting for.

To my own surprise rehearsal was actually cheering me up as it was distracting me, needing all my focus.

But as soon as the music died down it all came crushing down on me again.

During the last lessons my anxiety was only increasing.

When I left the classroom I did not dare to look over at Shams because I would not be able to uphold my cover then, my perfect facade.

Back at home I did not know if I should be relieved or not when I noticed that my dad was making a phone call.

I placed my test on the table, where I was sure he would see. Then I hurried upstairs before his phone call ended. I could not tell him myself and definitely did not want to be around for his first reaction.

In my room I let myself fall onto my bed and hid under the sheets to ease my nerves, texting Shams.

Unfortunately she was not answering. Probably she was not home yet. So I tried the same with Omar instead, not telling him I was upset though. I just wanted to stop focusing on my situation and it worked. Omar could always make me laugh in a heartbeat.

“What are you laughing about?”, my dad questioned harshly. “Do you seriously think there's anything to laugh about?”

He ripped the blanket off of me.

I could not meet his eyes, but knew better than to stay on my bed. So I stood up in front of him.

“Is there anything you want to tell me about this?”, he inquired, pushing my test in my face.

I shook my head no.

“What's gotten into you? I thought we had an agreement”, he ranted.

“I'm sorry, dad”, I proclaimed. “I didn't mean to disappoint you again.”

“Disappoint me? This isn't even disappointing anymore. This is a disgrace! From now on I'm going to set some new rules”, he declared. “First of all give me your phone.”

I was smarter than to deny him. I handed my phone over without any resistance.

“Second rule: You come home immediately after school. No going over to Omar, no hanging out with any classmates, got it?”

Tears were pricking at my eyes at this rule. Nevertheless I nodded.

“Third rule: You're getting a tutor who's going to work with you after school until you go to bed. Nothing else but studying. Understood?”

I nodded once again.

“Use your words”, he demanded.

“Yes, I understand, dad”, I stated.

“You know what?”, he proposed, staring me right in the eyes. “Right now I'm glad your mom doesn't live to see you like this.”

With those words he turned around and left.

It felt like something was clawing at my chest, ripping me apart while taking my ability to breathe. I was not even sure what exactly I was feeling, only that it was unbearable.

My hand moved on its own, picking up the picture that was set up on my nightstand. A picture of my mom when she had been pregnant with me. A picture of the time she had still been alive and full of hope. A picture before my birth that had killed her.

It was strange to yearn for a person you did not know.

The picture in front of me appeared blurry as my tears were finally falling freely.

After crying and stressing out so much I was feeling utterly exhausted. I did not have the energy to pull me into my bed and instead just fell asleep on the ground, hoping that it had all just been a cruel nightmare.

---------------------

Next Chapter

So here we go! Just as I promised it all took a darker turn. What do you think about it?

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Advocate January 2009 Interview

Chris Evans: Not Another Gay Interview

Chris Evans is a serious actor, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to stop objectifying him.

By Brandon Voss

January 05 2009 12:00 AM EST

After working a whipped-cream bikini in the 2001 spoof Not Another Teen Movie, Chris Evans fried phone lines in Cellular and melted hearts as The Human Torch in the Fantastic Four films. Next seen as a telekinetic troublemaker in February’s sci-fi thriller Push, the 27-year-old revisits his steamiest photo shoot and outs his even hotter gay brother.

This may come as quite a shock, but gay men enjoy you. I was well aware of that. I remember my mother saying, “Chris, do you know you’re #2 on some gay list [AfterElton.com’s Hot 100]. Brad Pitt is #12!” I was like, “What?!” I couldn’t believe it.

That was 2007. I hate to break bad news, but you dropped to #8 in ’08. Aww, that’s outrageous! Who took my spot?

I forget, but Jake Gyllenhaal was #1 for both years. What? Jake? Unacceptable. [Laughs]

It couldn’t hurt to play a gay role next. I really wanted to be a part of Milk, but I lost out to James Franco. I guess if you’ve got to lose, he’s the guy to lose to. I did a movie called Fierce People where I played a sociopath who wasn’t gay, but he does rape a teenage boy. You come to find out he didn’t do it for sexual reasons; he just did it because he could. He really was a sick character.

I’ve actually got an idea for a gay musical sequel to Cellular called Blackberry Storm. You in? Absolutely. Sounds like a nailbiter.

I hear there might also be a queer subtext in Push. Yes, those with powers try to keep it under wraps. They’re being hunted by the government, so everyone’s trying to lay low. Now I understand the gay man’s struggle. [Laughs]

What’s the status of your Tennessee Williams film, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond, about a 1920’s Memphis debutante? We took it to the Toronto Film Festival looking for distribution, and it does not look like that’s going to happen. I don’t know if there’s really a market for a Tennessee Williams film. It would’ve been a tough film to distribute and make money back, so it’s probably going to remain in limbo and possibly come out one day on DVD.

Do you blame Lindsay Lohan, who was originally set to star before Bryce Dallas Howard took over? [Laughs] No, not at all. To be honest, Bryce was phenomenal in the movie. It’s a shame that people won’t get to see her performance.

Let’s discuss your sexy, now-infamous 2004 Flaunt magazine photo shoot — and why you seem more hesitant to flaunt your physique. I really didn’t think twice about taking my shirt off at the time, but my current publicist would pull her hair out if I did that photo shoot today. If I got to a photo shoot and they said, “OK, we’re going to do some shirtless shots,” I’d say, “Fine. No big deal.” It never really occurred to me that that could be misinterpreted as a bad thing or as selling out.

Do you think those photos hurt you? I couldn’t care less, and I don’t think it makes one lick of difference. But I hired my publicist for her professional opinion, and she seems to think it’s a mistake. I have no problem taking my shirt off for a role if the part calls for it, but my publicist says, “When you’re promoting yourself, being you, there’s a way to keep it as classy as possible. Greasing yourself up and stripping down may not be the best way to do it.” To some degree, she may have a point. But at the end of the day, it didn’t bother me then and it doesn’t bother me now. Maybe I dropped to #8 because I haven’t had enough shirtless photo shoots lately. I’m blaming my publicist. [Laughs]

When you need an ego boost, do you ever watch the Chris Evans tribute videos on YouTube? No, I just call my mother. When you’re feeling depressed, you talk to her for 20 minutes and you think your shit doesn’t stink. And you can quote me on that.

I read on PerezHilton.com that your younger brother Scott is gay. Yes, I do have a gay brother. I’m down with the gays. Mostly I’m hanging out with him and his gay buddies, who are fucking hilarious. They’re the funniest people I know.

Do they take you to gay bars? They’ve invited me out to gay bars before, and I said, “Look, guys, I’ve got to draw the line there.” That’s where a photo will get taken, it will run in magazines, and before you know it, I’ll be living down the gay rumor for the rest of my life.

Does your brother look anything like you? He does, but he’s about an inch taller and about four shades tanner than I am. He’s a very fit young man. Believe me, he does quite well for himself.

How did he come out to you? He was really nervous. He came out to all of us very slowly. His first year at NYU, he came out to our mother and our sister, and then he came out to me a little later. I was driving him back to New York City for school. We spent the whole day together, got to the city, had some beers in my hotel room, got into a really great talk, and he came out. I was so glad that he did. That’s got to be a difficult transition, but I come from the most liberal household you have ever heard of. And for some reason, gay men are just drawn to my mother. She’s a cool chick. I think, like, six men have come out to her. I guess they just feel so comfortable with her, and before you know it, they’re coming out of the closet. I think my mother was praying for us to be gay, so at least she got one of us.

Growing up, when was the first time you realized that you weren’t gay? When I had a crush on my babysitter, who lived with us for a few years. I must’ve been 10 or 11. I was just head-over-heels in love with her. I thought she was the greatest thing in the world. Then I had a really big crush on Kim Cattrall in Mannequin. I was in love with her too.

In May 2008, you were photographed wearing a T-shirt with an image of two girls making out. Was that your way of showing support for gay marriage? My buddy owns a clothing line in L.A, and that’s one of the T-shirts that he makes. To be completely honest, I threw it on without really taking a close enough look at it. On that day I ended up getting photographed at a clothing store — which rarely happens to me — and then on the way home, I get in a car accident. So I’m dealing with police, the ambulance, taking down names and numbers, all while wearing a shirt with two women tonguing each other. It was a rough day. As for gay marriage, it’s mindboggling and appalling that human beings are being denied civil rights in this country. But time will heal all. I have to believe that in 10 years we won’t be having this conversation. We’ll be having another one, because we’ll always find someone to persecute.

2008 was arguably the Year of the Man-crush. Who was yours? My buddies always tell me that I have a man-crush on Brad Pitt. What can I say? The guy’s great. I think he’s a great fuckin’ actor, and he’s versatile as all hell. I’ve never seen a movie I didn’t like him in. So I guess he’s my man-crush.

When I interviewed Milo Ventimiglia for The Advocate, he told me about performing “I Will Survive” in drag for the short-lived 2000 TV series Opposite Sex. He failed to mention that you were one of his two backup dancers. [Laughs] I’ll tell you the worst part. Milo and Kyle [Howard] look like the ugliest transvestites in the world; meanwhile, I think I pass! I look like an alright-looking woman! It was horrible walking from the makeup trailer to the set. I was ogled, getting catcalls, and being sized-up. It was very demeaning. I could definitely relate to what women must go through.

Have you done drag since? No. Unless you want to count the blue tights in Fantastic Four.

By the way, “flame on!” was typically reserved for flamboyant homosexuals before you stole it as your Fantastic Four catchphrase. Sorry, guys. Well, you knocked me down to #8. I had to steal something.

[eyitzme]

ᶜˡᵉᵃʳ ᵈᵃᵗᵉ ; ˣᵃⁿʳᵉⁱ ⁽ᵈʳᵈᵗ⁾

Summary: Whit Young wants to set Xander Matthews up on a blind date with his friend. It sounds like fun, so Xander agrees…until he finds out on accident that Whit's friend and his blind date is Arei Nageishi. He cannot go on a date with her and now has to get his classmates to try to help him get out of this date! Word Count: 11,429 A/N: I saw a Tumblr post about reverse tropes, and one of them was about being set up for a blind date, but you know exactly who it is. I can’t find it anymore, but it inspired me to write a Xanrei one shot that was around 5,000 words. But then I got carried away and made it longer. Sorry, but the Xanrei demon is taking over. Run away, kitten, before the alpha in me comes out! The reason I got carried away was because I enjoyed writing Xander’s attempts to free himself from his blind date too much, and the more I wrote, the more I wanted to include all the DRDT characters, even though I only needed to write a little more than half of them. But they’re all just so fun to write, and their shenanigans are so entertaining… Don't blame me for this! Oh, and quick FYI: I’ve only been bowling, like, twice, and it wasn’t a “real” bowling match or anything. If I got anything about bowling wrong, please let me know!

i did what i had to do... but i guess i didn’t have to do it.

Xander Matthews wouldn’t say his life was boring. He was a student at Hope’s Peak Academy, and he went into it as the Ultimate Rebel, even though he didn’t like how his Ultimate title implied he was a bad person. His social life was great, and he had plenty of hobbies. In his opinion, his life was fine the way it was.

Whit Young, though, had his own opinions.

“You think I can get you a date?” he asked one day when they were hanging out at the coffee shop near Hope’s Peak Academy’s campus. They had just ordered inside and were now sitting at one of the table untouched on the round table, the umbrella covering them from the hot sun. The door to inside the coffee shop was open, letting the baristas shout orders to whoever was outside without leaving. The smell of coffee beans and soft classical music drifted out the doors with it.

Xander, who sitting across from him, frowned. “Why would I want a date?”

“Are you too busy for it?” he asked. “Are you not looking it right now? Do you not feel romantic attraction at all? Sorry, I keep forgetting to ask people if they want romance before I ask them something like that.”

“The answer is no for everything.”

“So, is the answer just a no? It’s fine if it is. I don’t judge.”

“Why do you want to find a date for me anything?”

“Okay, it’s not finding you a date. It’s more like... You’re the date I found.”

“What does that mean?”

“One of my friends wanted me to get them a blind date,” Whit explained. “Well, it was actually just a date, but I chose to go for a blind date. Considering who was asking me, I thought the thrill of not knowing who exactly you were going to go on a date with was needed. Anyway, since I came here as the Ultimate Matchmaker, I have to find the best person I can think of. I think you could fill that role. I know I’m technically breaking the rules since you already know each other and blind dates are setting up two people who don’t know each other, but I’m not gonna get arrested. If you could be arrested, I would’ve been locked up a long time ago.”

“I know them? Who’s your friend?” Xander asked.

He turned his palm to face him as he turned his head away. “I can’t tell you that. But if you were thinking about accepting, I’ll tell you that my friend’s a girl, in case you don’t like girls.”

“I like girls.” After thinking about it, he said, “What does this blind date have?”

“You’re actually thinking about it?” Whit grinned. “Great! So, if you agree, the date’s starting at a bowling area—she really wanted that—at around 6:00 P.M., and you’re going to stay for about one to two hours or however long you can go until you get sick of bowling with her. There’s an ice cream store nearby that doesn’t close until 10:30 P.M.—remember that, in case you somehow have enough patience to bowl with her for four and a half hours—and you can hang out until you decide to call it a night. Bowling should take up most of the evening, and the mini-ice-cream date closes it off. If you decide you want to do something after getting ice cream, go ahead, but that’s as far as I’m planning. This date is simple with everything you need to do spelled out for you, but I think that simple is best, especially for first dates, especially for first blind dates. You haven’t been on a blind date before, right?”

“I haven’t been on a date at all.”

“Neither has my friend, so maybe that can help you bond. But even if you did go on tons of blind dates, I still think blind dates should be simple and easy to do. Simplicity gives you your chance to get to know the other person and see if you’d like to spend more time with them. Complicated dates could make it frustrating to try to pay attention to the date and trying to get to know your blind date. It’s hard enough to have complicated first dates when you tend to already know the person you’re dating, but blind? I keep telling other matchmakers to go simple when they’re the ones planning the date, but some just don’t listen, and then I have to listen to stories of dates, blind or not, that went horribly wrong. Hey, am I rambling?”

“No, you’re fine.” Xander was a known rambler himself whenever he was talking about something he was passionate about. He tried not to get too into topics when that happened because he knew it annoyed some people, but he loved listening to others talk about what they liked.

Whit nodded. “Good to know. I’m done talking about the blind date anyway. What do you think?”

“It sounds like fun.”

“Do you want to do it?”

Xander’s life had never been filled with romance. He met people who were interested in romance, and he had small crushes throughout the years, but he wasn’t ever a part of a relationship. He had a lot of free time now that he was in Hope’s Peak Academy, and while he kept his focus on righting the wrongs in their world, he was fine with potentially finding a romantic partner. Besides, if the Ultimate Matchmaker was saying he thought there was someone he could possibly date, who was he to go against it?

“Sure,” he answered. “It sounds like something I’d be interested in.”

Whit smiled. “Thanks, Xander! I’ll let my friend know!”

He pulled out his phone and started to text his friend. While he did it, a barista from inside the coffee shop shouted their order. Before Xander could offer to get it, Whit left his seat to go get their order for him. He left his phone on the table, and Xander could see that it was clearly still on.

Blind dates were called “blind” because you weren’t supposed to know who you were going to meet. Xander knew that, but he also knew Whit had just been texting his friend that he agreed to the blind date. The knowledge of the latter made his body react before his brain could catch up.

Making sure Whit was still inside and not paying attention to him, Xander leaned forward to check who his friend was. Someone like Whit would make him think he saved people’s names in his contacts with jokes. For example, he would guess that he would save their classmate Hu Jing with some joke about her first name—“Hu is this?” would be his guess. It surprised him a little to see the contact name being a regular name in lower case, but he felt himself still as he read the name.

arei !! 🎳 was all it said, but it was enough.

There was no way Xander could go on a date with Arei Nageishi. Not with her, of all people. They could only get along when they were with other people. They didn’t act alike at all. They didn’t have anything alike other than being Hope’s Peak Academy students. Whit might be the Ultimate Matchmaker, but he made a mistake with this one. She was the one person he could never go on a date with.

Xander leaned himself back as Whit came back with their order. If he realized he left his phone, he didn’t seem bothered by it. He should be.

“Uhh, Whit?” He struggled to decide what he was going to say before settling on, “I actually don’t think I can do the blind date...”

Whit looked at him like he just told him he killed a puppy. “What? But you just agreed!”

“I know, but...” What could be a reasonable excuse other than I-saw-who-I-was-supposed-to-go-on-a-blind-date-with-on-your-phone-and-I-cannot-go-on-a-date-with-a-girl-who-angers-everyone-and-uses-her-looks-to-pretend-to-be-the-victim-before-immediately-going-back-to-insulting-people?

Whit used his silence to his advantage. “If you’re worried about being unsafe, don’t worry. You’re always in public areas surrounded by tons of people. She’s cool, and I know you can get along with her. You have a lot in common too. Trust me. Just relax and go with the flow. And I already told her I found her someone, so I can’t just immediately say that you cancelled.”

“It’s none of that. I just... I realized I don’t want to do a blind date.”

The blonde boy’s eyes roamed his face. He sighed and said, “I hate trying to force people to go on a date, but please, Xander, just one. It’ll last, like, four hours at most. It seems like a lot, but it isn’t. Once it’s done, it’s done. Just let me know it sucked, and we can move on.”

“You sound more desperate than before,” Xander said.

“I’ll admit, my friend can be a little scary when her emotions get the better of her. She’ll probably think I played some sort of prank on her, and then I’ll have to deal with that. And if you cancel, I’m probably going to need, like, solid proof that you genuinely had something important to do to convince her that it’s not something I made up—and to let me know that you’re not cancelling for no good reason, to be honest.” He held the coffee he ordered between his hands. “I feel like I’m asking for a favour now. That’s probably what I am doing. Please, Xander, I’ll owe you big time after this.”

Xander knew Arei. He knew how infuriating she was the moment he introduced himself to her and had to have their other classmate, Teruko Tawaki, drag him away before he could get carried away. He had no idea how she could do that, but he wanted to spend as little time as he could with Arei after that. Even though he succeeded so far, having less than 10 one-on-one conversations with her since they met, he didn’t want Whit to go through her rage. While he didn’t get along with Whit when they first met either, he knew Whit wasn’t as annoying of a person Arei was. He didn’t want to put him through discomfort.

But he still didn’t want to go on a date with Arei.

His brain quickly formulated a plan. “I’ll go on a date.”

Whit beamed. “Thank you so much, Xander! You’re a lifesaver!”

“It’s nothing. When is the date planned?”

“My friend’s free for the entirety of next week. You?”

“Same. Is Friday okay?”

“Friday works great!” Whit started texting Arei again.

Today was Sunday. Xander had until Friday to come up with some sort of reasonable, last-minute reason to cancel his date with Arei. Whit wouldn’t have to face Arei’s anger this way, and Arei wouldn’t have to be angry at all. He could do this.

. . .

On Sunday night, Xander called Teruko Tawaki in his dorm. When she answered, he immediately said, “Teruko, I need you to get hurt on Friday.”

“Huh?” was Teruko’s only reply. Her voice sounded tired. He felt bad if he woke her up, but this was important.

“I need you to get hurt on Friday,” he repeated. “Your bad luck makes you get hurt, right? Can you get hurt on Friday?”

“What?” Along with the tiredness, she sounded lost and really confused. “Why do I need to get hurt?”

“Whit set me up for a blind date,” he explained. “I accidentally found out who I’m going on a blind date with, and I need to get out of it. I need you to help me come up with a legitimate excuse, so I can cancel.”

“How does me getting hurt get you out of your date?”

“If you get hurt, you can ask me to help take care of you. Then, I can cancel because my friend is hurt.”

“Why can’t you just lie?”

“Whit will ask for proof that I’m genuinely busy. If you tell him I really am busy, it should be enough proof he needs.”

Teruko sighed. “Well, I’m not getting hurt. Sorry, Xander, but I can’t just control my bad luck like that, and I’m not risking anything because you don’t want to go on a date.”

Xander was about to reply before realizing he had been rude. He just asked his friend—his first friend since coming to Hope’s Peak Academy—to risk her life with her infamous bad luck. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, Teruko. I wasn’t trying to—”

“I know. I learned fast that you don’t think before you act.” Her tone wasn’t mean. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep how you know who your blind date is a secret.”

He smiled. “Thanks, Teruko.”

The call went silent for a moment. Then, Teruko said, “If it means anything, I think you should give Arei a chance. I know you don’t get along, but—”

Xander hung up.

. . .

On Monday, Min Jeung was with Ace Markey right outside Hope’s Peak Academy when Xander approached them. “Min, can you tutor me this Friday?”

Min had a small frown. “I thought you’re doing fine in school.”

“But I want to do better,” he said. “You know, getting higher grades does help get better jobs and get a better life after school.”

“Back off, she’s tutoring already me on Friday.” Ace put a hand on his chest and straightened himself.

Despite her bangs covering her eyes, Min clearly had a judgmental look on her face. “Keep acting like that, and I’ll change my mind.”

“No, you won’t,” said Ace. “You’re being forced to.”

“It’s not my fault your grades are bad.”

“What’d you say? You want to fight?”

“Ace.” Xander knew that all he had to do was send one threatening glare towards him, and he wouldn’t have to deal with him.

Just as he thought, Ace panicked and quickly sputtered out words about how he had to go meet up with some friend. When he ran off, Min asked him, “Why do you want to get better grades?”

“Just a thought,” he answered. “I need proof that I’m busy on Friday. That way, I can cancel on Whit last-minute.”

“What did he do?” When he finished telling her the same thing he told Teruko with the addition of how Whit wanted proof before she could ask, she said, “It sounds like it’s your fault for agreeing to the blind date in the first place.”

“How was I supposed to know I was going to be on a blind date with Arei?”

“Repeat what you just said.”

Okay, she had a point.

“I don’t want to tutor anyone,” Min continued. “Not you and definitely not Ace. I have better things to do.”

“More studying?” Xander guessed.

“I don’t want to have this conversation again. I’ll see you around, Xander.” Min left in the opposite direction Ace went.

Xander wasn’t sure what Min meant. He wasn’t going to start any conversation! Yeah, he did frequently talk to her about the importance of having a life outside of school, but that was, like, once or twice. Or 25 times. But he wasn’t going to do that now, not when he really needed someone to help him be busy on Friday.

As he walked away, Xander realized that he didn’t tell Min to keep how he knew his blind date was Arei a secret. Ace ran off before he could tell him, so he didn’t have to worry about him. He supposed he had to rely on Min not liking to talk.

. . .

On Tuesday, Xander found Nico Hakobyan and Eden Tobisa walking through the hallways of Hope’s Peak Academy together. Xander was specifically looking for Nico, and once finding them, he said, “Nico, do you need any help at the animal shelter on Friday?”

Nico came to Hope’s Peak Academy as the Ultimate Pet Therapist. Most of their free time was spent with animals, some of it being at a local animal shelter. No one who worked at the animal shelter complained about them coming because they received special help and publicity for an Ultimate student helping often. It helped how they sometimes brought some of their classmates with them.

“We’re pretty full on volunteers and staff, so I don’t think so,” Nico answered, confusion clear in their voice. “Why are you asking?”

Xander filled them in on what happened. Nico still looked a bit confused, but Eden said, “You shouldn’t run away from Arei. She’s a nice girl once you get to know her!”

“I have tried to get to know her,” he argued. “Every time I try, we end up almost in a fight.”

Nico tugged at their black scarf. “You’ve barely talked to her since school started. You couldn’t put in that much effort.”

“Excuse me?”

Nico’s red eyes widened, and they lifted their scarf over their face.

Eden filled in their silence. “I think they’re saying that you should try to put more effort than usually, you know? It is a date after all. You have to impress her!”

“But I don’t want to go on that date.”

“It’s only for a few hours. You’ll be okay!” She flashed him a reassuring smile.

Too bad he didn’t feel reassured. “Nico, are you sure you don’t need any help on Friday? For anything?”

Nico lowered their scarf just enough to look at him. “No...”

“Eden?”

Eden shook her head. “Maybe it’s a good thing that we’re both busy. Like, maybe you’re meant to go on that date with—”

“Thanks for trying to help,” Xander interrupted. “Can you keep this whole conversation a secret?”

“Of course!” Eden said at the same time Nico said, “I’ll probably forget about this in an hour or two anyway.”

Xander said his farewell before leaving. Friday was coming up way too fast.

. . .

On Wednesday, Rose Lacroix and David Chiem were about to leave Hope’s Peak Academy’s campus when Xander came up to them. “Rose, you’re an artist, right? Are you doing something on Friday? Can you give me a painting lesson or something like that?”

Rose looked around them. “Is this because of your date with Arei?”

He froze. “How do you know that?”

“Oh, are you dating Arei?” David had his perfect smile he often used during his inspirational speeches. “Congratulations, Xander! I hope you two have the best of luck in your relationship!”

Any slight annoyance he would’ve felt if anyone other than David told him that never came to be. “W-We’re not dating...”

He blinked. “You’re not? Then, Rose, what were you talking about?”

“I heard him talking about it with Nico and Eden,” she explained. “Yesterday, I was going to my next class when I heard overheard them. Whit set him up on a blind date with Arei, and now he’s trying to get out of it. He needs proof that he’s busy on Friday, and he thinks someone saying that they suddenly needed him for something would be enough proof. I didn’t mean to listen in on it,” she added for Xander.

He smiled, but it felt weaker than he’d like. “That’s okay. Just please don’t tell Arei or Whit. Both of you.”

“We won’t tell a soul. Won’t we, Rose?” David nudged her arm with his elbow.

Rose rubbed one of her eyes. “Xander, why are you here again?”

“Xander has a date with Arei he’s trying to cancel.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m free on Friday,” Rose started, “but isn’t it mean to ditch your date with Arei?”

“Arei would feel the same way,” Xander argued. “You know how we act together.”

“Still, this is a chance to fix that,” replied David, placing a hand on his chest. “I know how your relationship with her—”

“Rose, is that a yes or a no?” Xander always loved to listen to David’s speeches, especially since he was the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, but he couldn’t right now. Time was against him, and if he listened to David, he would probably go with what he said.

“I don’t think so...” She yawned. “I think I might just take a nap on Friday.”

“The entire Friday evening?”

She nodded. “Then, I’ll go to sleep.”

“That sounds relaxing,” said David.

He would ask what the point of taking a nap before sleeping was, but from the corner of his eye, he saw Arei. Quickly, he said, “Thanks for answering, Rose. Bye, David, bye, Rose!”

Xander left David and Rose before they could respond. He hoped Arei didn’t notice their conversation.

. . .

On Thursday, Xander had to use his final card. It was the final day before his blind date with Arei, and time was quickly running out. He had to find her.

Before classes started for the day, Xander looked around Hope’s Peak Academy. After a few minutes, he found Veronika Grebenshchikova with Arturo Giles and Levi Fontana. He had pepared himself for this moment since his failed attempt with Rose, so he approached them with the most relaxed look he could manage. When he got their attention, he asked, “Veronika, there’s a new horror movie coming out on Friday, right? I heard you talking about it.���

True to her nature as the Ultimate Horror Fanatic, Veronika’s eyes sparkled. “There is! I would go”—her eyes darkened with disappointment—“but I already spent all my money on the book series it’s based on...”

“I told her not to do it,” sighed Levi.

“Why do you try?” asked Arturo. “We all know she won’t listen.”

“Veronika,” started Xander, trying to keep his smile relaxed, “how about we go to see the movie together? I’ll pay.”

While Levi and Arturo stared at him in shock and confusion—no one should want to see a horror movie with the Ultimate Horror Fanatic—Veronika’s entire face brightened. “You will? Actually? This is one of the best things I’ve ever heard! I can tell you everything about the movie! When it started production, why it started production, why the cast was chosen... I can go into the story too! I can tell you about it now! It starts when—”

“Oh, he’s doing this because of Arei,” interrupted Arturo while rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean?” asked Levi.

“Whit set him up on a blind date on Friday, and he accidentally found out his blind date is Arei. Now, he’s trying to get out of it.”

Veronika’s face fell. “So, you don’t actually want to watch the movie...”

Xander had to ignore Veronika to talk to Arturo. “Who told you that?”

“I overheard Rose mentioning it to Ace,” answered Arturo. “David was with her and reminded her about keeping it a secret. Rose said you only told her not to tell Arei or Whit, then realized you probably meant not telling anyone. David convinced Ace to keep it a secret, but I didn’t promise anything.”

Xander sighed. “You guys can’t tell anyone else.”

“I can do that,” said Levi.

Arturo scoffed. “I can’t.”

“You said you wanted to go to see the movie with me,” mumbled Veronika.

“Veronika, I can get you Ace and maybe Min to go watch the movie with you. I’ll pay for all your tickets—and more tickets, if you get other people to come with you.” He could probably scare Ace into doing it, and a little convincing could get Min. It would do her good to spend time with her classmates on a Friday evening instead of locked up in her dorm studying. “Arturo, I can, umm...”

He couldn’t think of anything to convince him, but Veronika was happy enough to say, “I can take Arturo with me as thanks for paying for the tickets! Horror movies are always so much more fun to watch with other people!”

Arturo’s eyes widened. Everyone in their class knew how he and Ace were Veronika’s two main victims. “I didn’t agree to this...!”

“Since that’s settled...” Levi turned to him. “Xander, you should—”

Xander sighed. “If you tell me that I should give Arei a chance, please don’t. That would be my third time hearing that...”

“Isn’t that a sign that you should give in, then? It might be fun.”

“No, it won’t. Maybe if it was someone other me going on the date with her. Or the other way around. Just not us together...”

“You sound so pessimistic...” Levi offered him a small smile.

Xander tried to return it, but he had no such luck. He was about to leave when an all-too familiar voice asked, “What are you guys talking about?”

Arei appeared beside Levi. She had that smile that made him think that she was planning something. Everything suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Veronika was the one to answer. “I was telling Arturo about the movie we’re going to see on Friday with Ace and maybe Min!”

It was clear that Arturo was scowling behind his mask. “I didn’t—”

“Wow, Min? Doesn’t she only study?” Arei’s eyes seemed to scan her to see if she was telling the truth. “Horror movie, right?”

“Yes! It’s about—”

“Cool, cool, yeah, whatever.”

Veronika had a small frown at being interrupted. Meanwhile, Levi asked, “Arei, are you doing anything on Friday? I have some clothes I bought that I was trying to figure out what to do with, but now that you’re here, I realized they could work well with you.”

Her cunning smile was replaced with a neutral expression, but Xander could see how her eyes were slightly bigger than before. “Really? I am going on a blind date tomorrow, so I guess new clothes will be good.”

Levi smiled as Veronika and Arturo shared a look between them before looking at Xander. As the Ultimate Personal Stylist, there was no doubt that Levi would have fun choosing a fitting outfit for Arei. “Great. Come by my dorm after school. I’ll show them to you, and we can figure out what to have you wear. You can keep it after the date too, by the way.”

“I’ll remember that!” Arei’s gaze fell on Xander. “You know, Xander, you’re really quiet right now. Aren’t you supposed to be yelling about something?”

“I was going to leave now.” Xander didn’t like how quiet his voice was.

“Uhh, okay?” Arei’s skeptical blue eyes were the last thing Xander saw before making his escape.

. . .

On Friday morning, Xander called J Rosales. She was with Hu Jing right now, so J put it on speaker for him to be able to talk to both of them.

“J, how do you successfully fake being sick?” Xander asked.

“Why are you asking me?” she asked.

“You seem like someone who could always fake being sick.”

“Huh?” Her voice raised as she demanded, “What kind of impression do you have about me?”

Hu’s quieter and calmer voice came in to say, “J, just yesterday, you faked being sick so you didn’t have to meet people to work on a project because, as you said, they were just going to mess around while you did all the work. You did it last week and two weeks before that, too.”

“That was three times!” argued J.

“It’s still enough to prove Xander’s point,” pointed out Hu.

“Can you just tell me?” Xander asked before the conversation could get out of hand.

“I’m not helping you get out of your date with Arei,” J told him.

“You should go through with it, Xander,” added Hu. “I think you two could have fun together.”

He sighed. “Who did you guys overhear it from?”

“No one,” answered Hu. “Everyone in our class knows how you were going around and trying to find a way to be busy this evening. Well, everyone except I think Whit and Arei. Before this call, the only people you haven’t asked for help from were Charles, J, and I. The three of us were talking about it yesterday, and after realizing Arei’s blind date, which she’s been talking about her these last few days, is at the same time you’ve been asking people to do something with you, it wasn’t hard to put it together.”

Xander didn’t reply. Was he really that obvious? Now that he thought about it, he did go to basically everyone in his class, but he thought he was a little sneaky about it.

“We’re not going to help you get out of the date,” continued Hu, “but if you want help, you can ask us.”

J’s voice grew quieter, probably caused by her moving away from her phone. “What are we helping him with?”

“You know, the usual things you help people do for first dates.” Hu’s voice was quieter, probably caused by the same reason as J’s, before it returned to its previous volume. “Do you need help with anything, Xander? Do you know what you’re wearing? I know we’re not Levi, but I think we could help you pick a decent outfit.”

“Since when did we become personal stylists?” J asked.

“Since now, if he agrees to our help.”

Xander realized he couldn’t get out of this. It was Friday morning, and his date was this evening. Even if Arei was the last person he would want to go on a date with, he had to go through with it. He could always cancel without anything else to do, but he couldn’t have Whit go through Arei’s anger. With a sigh, he reluctantly said, “A little help would be nice...”

“Great!” He could hear the smile in Hu’s voice. “J, I’m turning this into a video call so we can see his outfit.”

“Hey, it’s my phone!” After some rustling, the call ended. A few seconds later, J called him again but as a video call.

Xander answered it. It wasn’t like he could go against it anymore.

. . .

Before Xander left his dorm, Whit sent him a text telling him what his “blind” date was wearing. He also gave a tip about her hair colour to make it even easier to find her, so Xander was sure Whit didn’t know about his attempts. Or, maybe he did know but was pretending not to.

After some debate from Hu and J—the latter more interested than she let on—Xander had his outfit of a black sweater over a white shirt. They agreed on easily on that as it was getting colder in the evening, but they got into a debate on whether he should wear a cross body bag for no reason other than to look nice. J thought it was pointless to wear a bag if he wasn’t going to put anything in it, and she thought fanny bags were stupid enough around the waist and didn’t need to be put across your body, but Hu told her that sometimes, fashion didn’t make sense, and she thought cross body bags were nice. In the end, J agreed only if he carried some stuff, which included his phone, his keys, and some money. He had to say that he had fun watching them debate on what clothes would work the best, but now that he had to wear it, he would rather have this outfit just to save it for another day.

When 6:00 P.M. neared, Xander went to the bowling alley. He was supposed to meet up with Arei outside the building, and he found her too fast. She was standing near the front doors on her phone with her hair down in a black shirt over a white one. Like him, she had a bag, although hers was a dark blue canteen bag. She had two belts over her denim skirt, and while he questioned why Levi would let her wear a short skirt when it was getting cold, she did look like a model for the Ultimate Personal Stylist.

She didn’t notice him. He could probably make a run for it while he still could, but then she would think her blind date ditched her. Everyone already knew he was supposed to be her blind date, and that could cause a lot more trouble than needed.

Xander took in a deep breath, steeled his nerves—why was this harder than asking Veronika to watch a horror movie with him?—and went to her.

When Arei heard him calling her name, her head turned towards him. It took her a few seconds to realize why he was here. When she did, she asked, “Why did Whit set you up with me?”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been wondering.” For the last six days, he finished in his head.

They stared at each other for a second. Then, Arei shrugged and said, “We might as well do what Whit planned. He had to spend his own money on this because I got friend discount, you know.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Xander tried to put on a smile.

The bowling alley Whit chose was bigger on the inside than the outside. There were lots of bowling lanes, and each one seemed to have purple lights shining down on them. Meanwhile, the sitting area was lit with a dark yellow light, and each lane had two tables of four to sit at. Bowling balls of all sorts of colours waited to be used as other players played each other.

Now that he was inside, Xander was hit was an obvious realization he should’ve made when he first found out who his blind date was: Of course Arei was going to want to go to a bowling alley when she came to Hope’s Peak Academy as the Ultimate Bowler.

Arei looked immediately at home as they changed into bowling shoes. She actually looked excited to be here. The way her eyes reflected the lights of the building was fascinating, he had to admit, but he wasn’t sure why she wanted to be here. She knew she would beat whoever was her blind date. It was a lost cause to even try to compete against her.

As they headed to their lane, Xander decided it was better to not make a fool of himself and said, “I’ve never gone bowling before. How does this work?”

“You never went bowling?” Arei studied his face before having a confident smile. “Luckily for you, you have the best of the best! I’ll teach you how to bowl!”

When they arrived, the first thing Arei asked was, “How much do you weigh?”

He frowned, blinking a few times. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Because before we can bowl, we need to find you a ball that’s the right weight and size. I know you’re crazy strong and can work with any ball, but we still need to deal with your fingers. Plus, a general rule is your ball weighs 10% as much as you. So, how much do you weigh?”

“Well... I weigh 170 pounds, last time I checked.”

“Then you need a ball that’s 17 pounds.” Arei picked up one of the bowling balls waiting for them with 17 written on it, and she was about to hand it to him before saying, “Oh, you’ve probably never held a bowling ball before.”

“I haven’t,” Xander confirmed, looking away from her face. Why did he feel self-conscious about this?

“I gotta help you with this one too.” She turned the ball, so the holes were facing his fingers. “Are you a lefty or a righty?”

“Righty.”

“Put your thumb in the bottom hole and your middle and ring finger in the other two.” When he followed her instructions, she inspected it. “The holes are too big for your fingers. You need a different one.”

“Is it a problem if it’s too big?”

Her eyes flashed. “What, are you going to ignore everything I say? I’m trying to help you, but you’re just gonna do your own thing?”

This was exactly what Xander was trying to avoid. Something like this happened a lot whenever they were left to themselves. However, after almost a week of begging his classmates to do something with him today, he didn’t have the energy to argue back. “No, I won’t. I’m sorry.”

A beat of silence passed. After it, Arei kept her eyes on the ball and said quieter, “Your fingers are meant to slide into the holes smoothly. If it’s too small, you can’t even put your fingers in, and if it’s too big, you’ll have a hard time controlling the ball. Control is important in bowling, just like in other sports. So...if you want to at least be decent, you should take the time to find a good ball.”

Xander had never heard her use a voice like that before, even after being classmates for months now. He had to remind himself that he had to answer. “Okay. I’ll look for one. But, umm... Can you help?”

Arei agreed, and they tried multiple different balls. When they finally found one he could hold comfortably, she said, “Hold the ball a little to your side and put your left hand on the bottom side. Keep your thumb at 10:00 position.”

“What...?”

She sighed, but she took hold of his hands and helped put them where they were supposed to be. Her hands were softer than he thought they would be. When she was done, she said, “Remember two things. First, this is how you’re going to hold the ball when it’s your turn to play. Second, this is your ball. You can use other balls like this, but this one’s perfect. Remember how it looks like, and when it comes back, use it as often as you can. This is your lucky ball for today.”

“Is that a thing for bowlers?” Xander asked.

“It is for me.” She went to look for a ball that fitted her.

He decided to listen to her and tried to remember how the bowling ball looked. It was blue. The same shade of blue as Arei’s eyes. He could remember this.

Arei found her ball much faster than he did. Hers was a yellow ball with the number 13 written on it. “I’ll go first so I can tell you how it works.”

Xander sat on the chair closest to their bowling lane. Arei pointed to a line on the ground and said, “That’s the foul line. You know how bowlers approach this line, right?”

“I’ve seen it online before.”

“Then you already saw the standard approach. It’s where you stand with your back straight, your shoulder centred at your target, and your knees bent a little. Whatever hand has the bowling ball should be at your side. Oh, and your back tilted forward, but not a lot. Your feet should be apart, and your slide foot—opposite of your bowling hand—should be in front of the other. Am I making sense?”

“A little...” There were a lot of words and a lot of people bowling around them. It was hard to pay attention to just her.

“Are you a visual learner?”

“I am.”

“I’ll show you instead of talking. It’s too much work talking anyway. Ugh, but I still have to explain to you the terms.” Despite her words, she didn’t sound annoyed. “You get to roll the ball two times a frame—two times a turn—so if you knock all the pins down on both rolls, that’s a spare. Like this.”

Arei threw the bowling ball down the bowling lane. It hit several of the bowling pins but left a couple. She picked a new bowling ball and threw it down the bowling lane again. It hit the rest.

Xander clapped as the final bowling pins went down. His clapping was stopped when he caught her look towards him. He couldn’t read her emotions, but he remembered that she was the Ultimate Bowler. She was used to doing amazing at bowling and didn’t need him to applaud.

Arei turned her head towards the TV screen above their bowling lane. It lane now had a score for Arei: 3/ over 13. “The upper left of each frame is to record the first ball,” she explained. “The box to the left is the second ball. I don’t wanna teach scoring, especially if this is automatic, so just know that spares are marked with that slash, and a strike is marked with an X.”

“Strikes are where you hit all the bowling pins at once, right?”

“I guess you’re not totally hopeless when it comes to bowling.”

“I’m not stupid...” Xander heard light laughter coming from her, so he decided today would be an okay day to be laughed at by her for just this once. Doing anything about it required determination he didn’t have.

“It’s your turn,” she said, taking a seat at the table he was at. She rummaged through her bag.

Xander held his bowling ball the way she taught him too. When the bowling ball went out of his hands, it rolled into the gutter. He decided not to look at Arei.

When he picked up his next bowling ball—admittedly taking a longer time than Arei—he was about to go again when Arei said, “Xander, you see the dots and the black arrows? Aim the ball in the centre of them.”

He decided to take her word for it and tried aiming as she said. When this ball rolled, it hit several of the pins and knocked them over.

While more pins were being added for the next frame, he turned to Arei with a smile. “I did it!”

“I know. I saw.” She smiled. “I’m a great coach.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“I’m not cocky if it’s a fact!” She gave him a bottle that wasn’t on the table before—something he assumed to be from her bag. “Here.”

He took it, but he still asked, “What is this?”

“Rosin. It makes your fingers and thumb a little tacky and less slippery. You always have to wipe your hands after your turn’s over. If your hands are sweaty, the ball can slip out of your hands. A handkerchief or just wiping your hands on your clothes work, but I’m a professional, so we’re going to do this professionally.”

“Do hands get slippery when you play blowing?”

“If you have sweaty hands.” Arei found the yellow ball she was using in her last frame and turned towards him. “I told you to aim on your last frame. The marks help beginner bowlers a lot. I used them when I first started, but then I realized I was already way too good for them. They’re there to help you hit the pins, but your ball can slow down or roll towards the gutters. You just have to keep adjusting your aim.

“Also, you see the bowling pin closest to us?” She pointed at the bowling pin stationed at the front. “That’s called the ‘headpin.’ The marks are there to help you aim for that and a pin next to it. If you get that, then you can knock down most of the pins and raise your chance of getting a strike. But, if you only hit the headpin, you might get a split.”

“What’s a ‘split?’” Xander asked.

“When the first ball knocks the headpin and leaves two or more pins on opposite sides. They’re the worst, and it’s hard to hit a spare with splits. It’s worse if you have a 7-10 split. They’re the two pins way in the back. I’ll show you one.”

Arei rolled the ball down the bowling lane and knocked the headpin down. Other bowling pins went down with it, but two in the back on either side remained. A 7-10 split, if she did what she said earlier. When she went for her second ball, it rolled through and knocked both of them out. The sound of both pins knocking themselves over as the TV updated the score made the fact that the Ultimate Bowler was really bowling right now hit him.

“You’re really good at bowling,” Xander told her as she put rosin on her hands.

“Duh,” she responded. “I’m the Ultimate Bowler.”

“I know. But it’s still amazing to see how you can just”—his hands moved around as he paused, trying to look for the right word—“decide what you want the pins and the balls to do. It looks so easy and natural for you. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s just so interesting to watch.”

Arei’s bottle of rosin remained opened because of her hands stopping before she could close it. Her attention was on him, and once again, he couldn’t read her face. Her eyes were looking at his, and he wasn’t sure if he should look away.

It was over in a moment when she turned her head away and closed the bottle of rosin. “Whatever. It’s your turn—and don’t you dare fail me as your teacher.”

The rest of their bowling game went smoothly. Arei helped him when he needed it, and Xander got to listen to see her look comfortable with what she was doing. She gave him tips throughout the game, such as focusing on the marks and not the bowling pins, and as it went on, she was more willing to explain why he should listen, other than how the Ultimate Bowler was telling him to do it. When the game ended, it was no surprise that Arei won, but what was surprising was that going bowling with Arei was actually kind of fun. They only got into a brief argument once when first trying to find a ball, but other than that, it was just Xander learning how to bowl with Arei being more helpful than he’d ever seen.

Was this really what he was trying so hard to avoid?

After the first match, they decided to play another one where Xander would try bowling without Arei’s help. Again, Arei won with 300 points—the highest score a bowler can get, apparently—and another game started, this time Arei switching between helping him and not. Before they knew it, two hours had passed. When they noticed it, they left the bowling alley and started heading to the ice cream parlour. The one Whit chose was close enough to the bowling alley to walk, but it was still quite far. He must’ve chosen that one on purpose to get them to talk to pass the time.

Because of that, Xander decided to say, “Arei, there’s been one question on my mind since this date started.”

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Why are you wearing a skirt in this weather?” As if to help prove his point, a chilly breeze went by.

Arei looked at him like the answer was obvious. She gestured to her outfit. “Because I look nice.”

“Weren’t there any other outfits Levi had?” he continued. There was no way the Ultimate Personal Stylist wouldn’t have better clothes that fit her and the weather.

“There were,” she admitted, “but this one’s my favourite. I got to keep the outfit he gave me, so I had to pick the one I liked the best. He tried to get me to wear pants, but this goes better with the skirt, right?”

Xander tried to imagine how she would look wearing pants instead of a skirt. “I think you would look fine either way.”

“That was supposed to be you agreeing with me,” Arei said.

“I don’t even know how the pants looked.”

“It’s like this skirt but as pants.”

“I still think you’d look fine.”

“You’re supposed to call me pretty too.”

“What? I feel like this is some sort of trick...”

“It is. I’d point out how you don’t know exactly how I’d look wearing jeans and make you feel bad.”

“It’s not going to work now that you said so.”

“I know. I’m trying to be nice. You don’t have to tell me that I’m already the nicest person ever.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

Their conversation didn’t have any hint of anger or annoyance. Maybe it was the bowling, or maybe it was how it was getting late, but talking to her like this felt comfortable. Easy. Like this was how it was always meant to be. Xander wasn’t sure what to think of it, but he could get used to it.

When they arrived at the ice cream parlour arena, they found that there were quite a few costumers despite it getting late and the semi-cold weather. The white walls looked pink due to the lighting, and the floor was checkered. Small tables lined against the windows where some people were talking amongst themselves.

Xander and Arei went to look at the ice cream offered. Xander felt a bit intimidated by the number of options they had, but Arei’s eyes were immediately drawn to one of them. The side of her body pressed slightly against his as she pointed to one of the flavours. “They have cherry chip!”

“They have what?” His eyes found what she was pointing to. It looked to be cherry-flavoured ice cream with chocolate bits inside. “Is that your favourite flavour?”

“Yep. Chocolate tastes kind of bad on its own, but it tastes so much better when it’s with ice cream!”

“Why cherry?”

“Cherry’s the best flavour, even if it doesn’t have the chocolate bits. Chocolate tastes worse with other flavours.”

“That’s a...unique flavour to like,” Xander said.

“Only because it’s found, like, nowhere. If it was more popular, more people would like it. Instead, they have to stick to mint.”

“What’s wrong with mint?”

“It’s the worst thing to ever exist. It’s bad enough that it exists as food or whatever, and it was worse when it became a flavour for gum and stuff, but now you made it into ice cream too? Everything is ruined with it! It should be illegal to have mint exist!”

“That’s just stupid. Mint’s just a flavour.”

“Oh, I bet you like mint. One of those mint lovers.”

Mint was always an okay flavour to him, but right now, he said, “I do like mint.”

“I should’ve known.” Her blue eyes that were narrowed relaxed for a bit when she said, “I thought your favourite flavour was vanilla, though. You look like someone who’d like vanilla.”

Vanilla was his favourite flavour, but for now, he said, “Well, it’s not.”

“So, what, are you going to order mint chip?”

Looking at the flavours the ice cream parlour offered, Xander noticed that there was an option to just have mint with no chocolate bits in it. “I’ll order just mint.”

“Just mint?” Arei found the flavour he saw and immediately cringed. “That’s even worse! At least mint chip has the chocolate to try to distract you from the mint! Why would anyone want just mint?”

Xander had a satisfied smile watching her disgust. He never thought she would be someone who hated mint so much, but the thought of a reaction like this was the reason he chose that flavour in the first place. Now that he was seeing it, it was kind of cute.

Once they ordered their ice cream, Arei wanted to sit outside on a bench. Xander thought that was a bad idea with how exposed her legs were, but she insisted. They found themselves sitting on a bench not too far from the ice cream parlour with the ice cream they ordered. Just as Xander thought, it was getting colder, and more wind was starting to pick up. He waited for her to say something.

He even counted. 75 seconds passed before Arei finally said, “I probably should’ve worn pants...”

“You should’ve worn pants,” Xander corrected. “Do you want to eat inside the parlour?”

“But we already left. It’ll be weird if we go back inside with our orders.”

“Why do you care about being weird?”

“Because some people have reputations they have to keep up. I get that you’re the Ultimate Rebel and don’t care how people see you—”

“I care about how people see me.”

“Not enough to not be seen as a weirdo. You have the title of Ultimate Rebel. That’s, like, the definition of ‘weird.’” After a second, she added, “But I guess it could be weirder.”

Xander continued eating his mint ice cream in silence. Going strictly off of Whit’s plan, the “blind” date was coming to an end. Now that he experienced it, he wasn’t sure what he was so scared of. Looking back it his attempts, he was a little embarrassed at how desperate he was to do something—anything—to avoid this. It was all calmer than he thought it would be. If he was being honest, he wouldn’t mind going through it again.

“Xander?” Arei’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Why’d you agree to go on a blind date?”

“Whit asked me if he could set me up,” Xander answered. “After saying it was a blind date with his friend, he told me his plan for the date. It sounded interesting, so I decided to give it a shot. You were the one who asked him for a date, though. Why?”

She seemed hesitant to answer. Eventually, she said without looking at him, “We’re in a world where marriage is, like, a must. If you get married, you get bonuses single people don’t have, and everyone around you is getting into serious relationships and talking about settling down one day and stuff. Plus, some people are starting to ask, ‘When are you going to get married?’ like I’m not still in college. I know we’re all still pretty young, but it still feels weird when I haven’t even been on a date before. So, I asked Whit if he could help set me up...”

“To fit in?” She didn’t answer, but Xander assumed he was correct anyway. “Well, did you have fun?”

“It wasn’t that bad.” He assumed that was Arei for “yes.” “I thought I’d be set up with someone who doesn’t go to Hope’s Peak, so I’d get to show off my amazing bowling skills, but instead, I got set up with someone who does go to Hope’s Peak and already knows how awesome I am. That ruined my plan.”

“You still showed your skills. And yes, I knew you were great, but I didn’t realize how great until tonight.” He didn’t let himself praise her any further. He remembered the look she gave him after clapping for her.

She turned the ice cream cone around in her hands. “Yeah, but I also got stuck teaching you how to bowl.”

“You didn’t have to,” he pointed out.

“But if I didn’t, I’d get a headache watching you and decide we can’t bowl anymore. I’ve been bowling with people who never went bowling before. I know how it goes.” She sneaked a glance at him. “But you weren’t that bad for a beginner. Better than other beginner bowlers I’ve seen, at least.”

A smile came to him before he could stop it. “Thanks, Arei.”

“Yeah, whatever, don’t think about it.” Arei went back to eating her ice cream.

Xander decided to let it go and finish his ice cream. When they were both done, they were technically as far as Whit planned. He knew that he didn’t want things to be awkward now like Whit’s loose planning was the only thing keeping the date floating, so when Arei finished her ice cream, he said, “I had fun.”

“Even though you kept losing at bowling?” Arei replied. Her voice wasn’t teasing nor did it sound annoyed.

“You’re the Ultimate Bowler,” Xander said with a light chuckle. “It’s hopeless to go against you.”

A smile formed on her face. “Yeah, it is.”

“Still, it was fun. Even if you hate mint for no good reason.”

“I hate mint for lots of good reasons!” Arei glared at him as he laughed. When he was done, he noticed that the expression on her face wasn’t as angry anymore. It looked to be more shy. She looked to be more shy with how she avoided looking at him and was fiddling with her bag. Even her voice seemed shy as she said, “It was fun, though...”

Xander didn’t reply. Since when was Arei Nageishi capable of acting like that, and why did he actually kind of like it?

“Do you... You know...” She gestured around them. She didn’t finish her sentence and looked at him like it was obvious what she was trying to say. It was, but the way she didn’t want to say it because of what he thought was embarrassment was endearing.

“We can go on another date,” Xander said. “But how about we plan it instead of Whit?”

His answer made her shoulders visibly relax. “We can do that. But give me your number. I don’t think I have it.”

After they exchanged numbers, Arei said, “Xander, umm... Thanks for just, you know...coming to the date.”

“You make it sound like it’s a big deal,” Xander responded. “Did you think I wouldn’t come?”

“Kind of. You arrived late, you know.”

“What? No, I arrived on time.”

The topic change made her words flow easier. “I was on my phone when you arrived. I was checking the time. You arrived at 6:01 P.M. That’s late.”

“By one minute!”

“Still late. Next time, you better arrive on time.”

Xander had a lot of things he had to change for next time. The memories of the last few days crashed down on him, and it suddenly felt weird to be standing in front of Arei when she didn’t know about them. He appreciated his classmates’ efforts to not tell her or Whit, but he didn’t know if he could trust them enough to keep the last few days a secret for long. Someone was going to tell her sooner or later, and it was probably best if that “someone” was him. “Arei, I have a confession to make.”

“What, did you murder someone?”

“No, but... You know how Whit set us up?”

“What about it?”

“Me and Whit were at a coffee shop when he brought it up. When I agreed, he sent you a text telling you that we were going to have our blind date. We didn’t have our order, and when it was called, Whit went to get it. He left his phone on the table, and the screen was still on. I... Curiosity got the best of me, and I saw you were my blind date.”

Arei stayed silent, her face unreadable. Xander felt a little scared for what would come out of her mouth. Would she be angry? Probably. Scream? Maybe not. But there definitely wasn’t going to be a next date anymore.

After long, agonizing seconds, she asked, “Why did you still come?”

“Because no one would help me be busy today. I went around asking everyone except Charles and Ace—I missed talking to Charles, and Ace ran away before I could ask him—to help me get proof for Whit that I have a good reason to cancel. Everyone was either busy or didn’t want to. So, I was forced to go.”

“You could’ve lied and said something came up when nothing did.”

“Everyone already knows what was happening today, though. Plus, I was worried that you would get upset and drag Whit into your emotions.”

Arei didn’t reply. He still couldn’t read her face. The seconds went by, and Xander felt more and more uncomfortable. He wanted her to say something , anything to let him know how she felt about this. The emotionless face she had made him feel too uneasy.

After what felt like an eternity, Arei said, “It was probably funny how you went around begging people to do something with you. You probably looked like a friendless loser.”

Xander would’ve tried to defend himself, but he asked, “You’re not upset?”

“I mean, I am, but now that I think about it, I probably would’ve done the same if I were you. You’re one of the last people I’d choose to go on a date with. Except I wouldn’t be a friendless loser and would actually get the job done.”

“Funny.” After a second, he asked, “So...we’re still good?”

“Obviously,” Arei answered. “I’ll text you in a few days if you want to go on another date.”

“Didn’t we just go on one?” Xander replied.

“Yeah, but I don’t know how many dates people are supposed to go on.”

“Neither do I, but isn’t this a little fast?”

“I don’t know, how fast are people usually when it comes to dating?”

Xander’s silence was his answer. Arei broke it by saying, “I’ll just ask Whit for help.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Xander agreed.

. . .

On Saturday, Xander and Whit sat at the same coffee shop they were at almost a week ago when Whit first set up the blind date. This time, they had their orders, and Whit had brought Charles Cuevas with him.

“How did your date with Arei go?” Whit asked Xander.

“Didn’t she already tell you?” asked Xander.

“She did,” admitted Whit, “but I like hearing both sides of the date. So, how did it go?”

He smiled. “It went great! Me and Arei got along better than I thought, and it was genuinely a fun time. Did she tell you how we agreed to go on another date?”

“She did!” Whit exclaimed. “I’m glad you guys enjoyed it! I was kind of scared something would happen and questioned if you two were the right pair, but I trusted my gut, and it was right!”

“You’re the Ultimate Matchmaker,” reminded Charles.

“It still feels good to know that I helped another couple!” Whit’s smile softened. “Xander, I wish you and Arei the best of luck.”

Xander’s face felt a little warmer. “We’re not an official couple or anything...”

“I’m still wishing you good luck!”

Charles sighed, his eyes meeting Xander’s. “So, was almost the entirety of last week worth it?”

“No,” he admitted. “I wouldn’t have done all that if I knew it was actually going to be fun.”

“I was told Teruko, Eden, Hu, Rose, David, and Levi said you should go. Whit too, if you include him. That’s almost half of our classmates.”

“They just said I should go, not that it was going to be fun...”

“What happened last week?” Whit looked between the two of them, leaning forward in his chair a bit.

Charles continued to look at Xander. “Do you want to explain, or should I? You never even came up to me, but I already know the whole story because everyone talked about it yesterday while you were having your date.”

“You were?” Xander asked as Whit said, “Who’s ‘everyone?’”

“I guess I’ll explain.” He finally looked over to Whit. “Xander gave Veronika money to buy tickets to go see a new horror movie. Only Arturo and Ace were meant to come, but Levi wanted to come to help them. Levi knew Min might go, so he tried to get her. She didn’t want to, but Eden was with her and tried to convince her with Levi. Min only agreed to go if Eden went with her, and when the animal shelter Nico volunteered at was closed for the day because of a pipe breaking, she invited them so they would do something with humans instead of animals. Nico didn’t feel comfortable watching a horror movie with the people already there, so they brought Rose. Rose was planning to take a nap the entire afternoon, but David said that she needed to go to help Nico, so he came to help her stay awake. David mentioned it to Hu, and Hu thought it was a great idea that so many of us were going to see a movie together that she invited herself and J. J and Veronika realized it was basically everyone in our class going, so she had J call Teruko to invite her and ask her to invite me on Veronika’s behalf, since J doesn’t have my number. Teruko called me and told me how three people seeing a movie turned into 13.”

Xander should’ve realized that 13 tickets was a suspicious number of people. His date made him ignore how weird it was that Veronika managed to get 12 other people to watch a horror movie with her when she told him how much money she needed.

“Wait, how come I wasn’t invited?” asked Whit.

“I’m getting to that. We all went to the movie theatre and got our snacks if we wanted any. Veronika realized you weren’t here, Whit, and asked if no one invited you. I told her that you were always on standby in case something went wrong in a date you set up, and Rose asked if Xander’s date with Arei actually happened. Some people were surprised that more than a couple people if any knew about the date, and it turned out that no one except Hu, J, and I realized that Xander was going around and asking everyone to do something with him so he could avoid his blind date with Arei. Until the movie started, it was just us talking about what Xander wanted to do to have proof he had a legitimate reason to cancel his date. I have to admit, that was a nice conversation, mainly because we were all making fun of Xander.”

“I’m right here...”

“I know.”

Whit’s eyebrows furrowed together. “But, wait, Xander, how did you find out Arei was your blind date?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously. “When you texted Arei about how I agreed, you left your phone on the table when our order was called. Your phone was still on, and I checked to see who my blind date was before I could stop myself. I found out it was Arei, and...everything that Charles said happened after that, basically.”

“So that’s why you suddenly didn’t want to go on the blind date anymore when I got back...” Whit sighed. “I don’t know what to be sad about, me accidentally leaving my phone here and ruining the thrill of blind dates or no one inviting me to watch a movie with basically our whole class.”

“You’re always on standby on the day your client has a date you set up,” reminded Charles. “You told me that.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t want an invitation!”

“I knew you were going to say no, so there was no point. Besides, you should be happy you didn’t see the movie. No one except Veronika wanted to talk after watching it...” Charles shuddered and muttered something about how a psychological horror with no gore or anything a typical horror movie had shouldn’t have been the scariest thing he had ever seen.

“Next time, I guess...” Whit had a small smile at Xander. “At least one of us had fun on Friday.”

Xander smiled back.

“And you”—Whit’s face became as serious as someone like him could make it—“after saying this, I’m not going to talk to you until you give me a sincere apology for not inviting me.”

Charles frowned. “Why?”

Whit turned his body away from him, crossing his arms.

“You didn’t give him an invitation, and he’s upset,” Xander answered for him.

“He was going to say no,” argued Charles. “What was the point of wasting my time asking him?”

“Even if he was going to say no, it’s the thought that matters. Plus, everyone was taking one extra person with them. You were supposed to at least ask Whit even if he wouldn’t come.”

“I didn’t know that! I’m not going to say sorry for something I didn’t know!”

“Then I guess Whit’s giving you the silent treatment.”

Xander took his coffee and sipped it slowly. If his classmates had gotten a memory they definitely wouldn’t get rid of because of his embarrassing actions, then he supposed they weren’t that bad. He managed to get himself another date with Arei, his classmates were all closer, and the only downside was Whit being angry at Charles. Whit wasn’t the type of person to hold grudges, so he would get over it soon enough. It was just a question of if Charles would reluctantly agree to apologize before then, and Xander was interested in seeing it.

A/N: Fun Fact: Xanrei’s blind date was supposed to include laser tag in between bowling and ice cream. They were supposed to be on different teams but teaming up to get rid of all their competitors, and when it’s down to the final three, Xander accidentally pushes Arei against a wall to get rid of the other person. Arei already realized what position they were in, and Xander realizes it a second after. They look into each other’s eyes (maybe I’m just aegoaroace, but it sounds so gross when I write it like this), but eventually, Xander feels like they should probably get out of that situation, so he shoots Arei with his laser gun. Arei gets (playfully) upsets and refuses to talk to Xander until he buys her ice cream, and then the ice cream scene comes. Whit didn’t plan that, though, so you’d get a bonus scene of Xander asking why Arei would want ice cream when it was getting cold, and Arei telling him that he just didn’t understand her. The reason why laser tag wasn't included is just because I didn’t want to write it. Traces of what was supposed to happen after remain in the final scene with Whit and Charles, though, if that counts for anything. Maybe I’ll write Xanrei playing laser tag another time.